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bootleg-nessie · 1 year ago

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Rating band names based on their accuracy:

(I keep updating this list so check back later)

The Beatles: 3/10. None of these people are beetles, they’re just a bunch of fruity guys from Liverpool with matching haircuts

(Edit: changed from 0/10 to 3/10 because John Lennon beat his wife)

Pink Floyd: 4/10. There is not a single person named Floyd in the band, but some of the members do arguably look kinda pink

Nirvana: 10/10. Getting high and listening to Nirvana is roughly what I imagine actual nirvana to be like

Foo Fighters: either 0/10 or 10/10. I have never seen foo in real life so either they’re pretending to fight a problem that doesn’t exist or they’re doing an absolutely fantastic job of fighting it

The Eagles: 0/10. Same as the Beatles, there is not a single eagle in this band. The name is misleading and we have all been lied to

Queen: 6/10. Partial points for Freddie Mercury

Led Zeppelin: 0/10. I don’t think any of these guys have ever even seen a zeppelin, let alone one made of lead. A lead balloon would crash faster than my hopes and dreams

The Rolling Stones: 3/10. There is not a single stone in this band. Some points added because I’m pretty sure they rolled quite a few

U2: 0/10. Despite what the name says, I am not a member of this band

Metallica: 9/10. Naming a metal band “Metallica” is like naming your dog “doggy”

Red Hot Chili Peppers: 2/10. These guys are not chili peppers. They’re not even that hot, let alone red hot

Guns N’ Roses: 0/10. How the fuck could a gun or a flower play music

Backstreet Boys: ?/10. Depends entirely on their current given location

Simon and Garfunkel: 10/10. No notes

The Doors: 1/10. Jim Morrison is kinda shaped like a door tho

Chicago: 4/10. The number of people in this band does not come even remotely close to the population of Chicago. Points added because it originated in Chicago

Earth, wind, and fire: 2/10. This is even more innacurate than Chicago. Points added because wind instruments were often used

Def Leppard: 3/10. There is not a single leopard in this band. Some of the members are probably kinda deaf by now tho

The Beach Boys: ?/10. Accuracy depends entirely on location

The Black Eyed Peas: 6/10. Not sure what the hell an ‘eyed pea’ is but the black part is pretty accurate

Imagine Dragons: ?/10. Depends entirely on whether or not they’re thinking about dragons.

Cage the Elephant: 1/10. Why would you do that. Let the elephant go

Green Day: 0/10. They’re not even green

The Police: 0/10. There is not a single cop in this band

KISS: 5/10. I’m sure they probably kissed sometimes

The Monkees: 0/10. Are you fucking kidding me

We Butter the Bread with Butter: 8/10. I can’t verify this but I have no reason to suspect that they’d lie. Butter seems like the most logical thing to butter bread with

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard: 0/10. I got really excited about the concept of a lizard wizard only to be let down. My disappointment is immeasurable

They Might Be Giants: 5/10. I googled everyone in this band’s height, the tallest guy’s only 6’1 so I wouldn’t exactly consider him a giant. Then again, I can’t really argue because the claim was only that they MIGHT be giants

The Presidents of the United States of America: 2/10. None of these people are Joe Biden nor are any of them former presidents. This is incredibly misleading. I’m pretty sure “Lump” was written about my first girlfriend tho so I’ll give them a point or two

Gorillaz: 2/10 Not quite but we’re kinda close genetically so I’ll give them partial credit

The Killers: ?/10. I have no way of verifying if they’ve actually killed before but the fact that they’re not in prison tells me probably not

The Offspring: 10/10. These guys are definitely somebody’s offspring

Arctic Monkeys: 1/10. They are neither monkeys nor are they from the arctic

Thirty Seconds to Mars: 1/10. It takes WAY longer to get to mars than that

Beastie Boys: 8/10. They’re pretty beast on the guitar

Jimmy Eat World: 1/10. Slow the fuck down Jimmy, you’re biting off way more than you can chew

Hole: 9/10. One point deducted because I’m pretty sure they had more than one hole

Rage Against the Machine: 10/10. They did exactly that

Alice In Chains: 0/10. This is illegal. Let Alice go

The Band: 10/10. This could not possibly be more accurate

Nine Inch Nails: 1/10. I can’t find any good pictures of their feet but from what I can tell their fingernails definitely aren’t nine inches long

Bush: ?/10. Not quite sure about this one, felt uncomfortable asking

The Who: 2/10. I’m not dealing with this “Who’s On First” bullshit

Radiohead: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a radio for a head

Queens of the Stone Age: 0/10. This band should be called “five random dudes from the modern era” but FRDFTMA is a bit of a mouthful

Soundgarden: 2/10. Sound does not grow in the garden

Sonic Youth: 5/10. They’re not exactly youth anymore but the sonic part checks out

Talking heads: 8/10. There’s more to the band than just a bunch of disembodied heads but the heads do tend to talk

The Cranberries: 0/10. Decent music but I only added them so that the Beatles and Freddie Mercury weren’t the only fruits on this list

The Wiggles: 8/10. They do tend to wiggle a lot

Blue Man Group: 10/10. Yep!

Weezer: 5/10. They all look like they definitely have asthma

Limp Bizkit: 3/10. While the visual image of baked goods playing the guitar is hilarious, Fred durst is not a biscuit. Points added because he probably has erectile dysfunction

Stone Temple Pilots: 0/10. None of these people are accredited as being licensed to pilot anything, much less an entire stone temple. Stone temples don’t need pilots anyways

Wasted Youth: 8/10. I guess it really kinda depends on how you frame it but yeah, they probably wasted a lot of it

Them Crooked Vultures: 3/10. These are people and not birds but Dave Grohl’s posture is kinda bad and John Paul Jones is so old that his neck kinda looks like a vulture’s so I added some points

Audioslave: 0/10. Slavery is illegal

Traveling Wilburys: 4/10. Sure, they traveled a lot but not a single one of those lying bastards was named Wilbury

D12: 6/12. There were only 6 people in this band

NWA: 10/10. I’m a little too white to safely comment on this one but I’d say they nailed it

Jet: 1/10. A real jet would be way too loud

Goldfinger: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a finger made out of gold

No Doubt: ?/10. I can’t really be too sure how Gwen Stefani felt but I think it’s probably a safe assumption that she had some doubts

The White Stripes: 3/10. I bet if you stripped them down naked and made them stand shoulder to shoulder and squinted really hard they’d probably look more like white stripes

Screaming trees: 3/10. They scream occasionally

Garbage: 2/10. I think they’re being a little harsh on themselves, their music isn’t THAT bad

Butthole Surfers: 5/10. Not even gonna touch this one

Megadeth: 3/10. To be fair, some of the former members are dead but only a little amount of death, not mega death

Dead Kennedys: 2/10. Last I checked Kennedy was still dead but neither he nor his clones are members of this band

Cake: 0/10. The cake is a lie

Cracker: 8/10. Most of them are

Tool: 7/10. I don’t know much about their music but they sure look like tools

Counting Crows: ?/10. Is this what emo kids do instead of counting sheep? Accuracy depends on whatever bird they happen to be counting at the moment

Dave Matthews Band: 10/10. It certainly is

Oasis: 1/10. Their music is the opposite of an oasis

Blur: 2/10. They are not that fast

Barenaked Ladies: 0/10. If I wanted to be this disappointed I’d reestablish a connection with my biological father instead

Meat Puppets: 10/10. Technically, aren’t we all?

Live: 8/10. Apparently they still do live shows but I deducted some points because I’ve only ever heard their music on Spotify

ABBA: 9/10. I’m still not giving any points to Guns N’ Roses but that’s mostly out of spite

5 Finger Death Punch: 8/10 I guess it probably depends on how hard you hit them but this seems to be the usual amount of fingers to punch somebody with

All American Rejects: 9/10. They’re all rejects from America so I don’t really see any issue with this

T. Rex: 0/10. Even if any of these people WAS a T. Rex I don’t think their arms would be long enough to play their instruments

Free: 0/10. Unless you steal their music, in which case it becomes a 10/10

The Strokes: 3/10. To my knowledge, none of them have had a stroke but I still added a few points because the name was probably accurate for other reasons

The Smashing Pumpkins ?/10. Another thing I have no way of verifying but this seems like a waste of perfectly good pumpkins

Therapy?: ?/10. The hell are they asking me for? I don’t know their medical history

Twenty One Pilots. 0/10. There’s only two of them and neither is a licensed pilot

Finger Eleven: 0/10. Leave the poor Stranger Things girl out of this

Fall Out Boy: 9/10. I conferred with an expert on this one who confirmed that they are in fact boys who had a falling out

Cream: 8/10. Considering this was the OG supergroup I’m sure a lot of people did in fact cream when their music came out

Edit: humans aren’t fucking monkeys. Stop saying we are

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justdontaskme · 2 months ago

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It Was Always You (Alexia Putellas x Reader)

A/N: Here you go, just as promised, the second part to this fic here. You should probably read that first to better understand this one. I probably should have proofread it again, but felt like I needed to get this out or it would forever sit as a WIP. So please enjoy and I hope to see you at my next fic.

After finally finishing what felt like the longest season of your life, you were ready for a long vacation surrounded by beaches with plenty of alone time for you and Alexia. Hawaii had been screaming your name since Christmas. The surprise planned proposal was just an added bonus for your good mood.

Ever since you had exchanged Christmas presents, Alexia had been very tight-lipped, deflecting any and all questions you asked about the upcoming proposal you knew was coming, just not when exactly it would happen. She refused to give you even the slightest hint.

While you packed for your two week trip to Hawaii, you felt discombobulated, running around like a madwoman as you packed and unpacked an unhealthy amount of times. Knowing that you were going to Hawaii with your girlfriend and coming back with a new shiny ring and a fiancee was driving you insane in the best kind of way.

As the trip came closer, Alexia started sharing pieces of the itinerary with you. The schedule was very flexible, allowing you to add in your fair share of ideas of things you wanted to do while on the vacation islands. There was a good mix of adventure, romance, and relaxation packed into a short two weeks.

This extra information also had your mind running on overdrive. You were googling everything that Alexia was booking, mentally calculating how likely her plans could lead to a proposal that day. You were dissecting every tiny morsel of information she was giving you. It led you down a long rabbit hole of what-if scenarios that was literally scrambling your brain.

But the midfielder knew how to keep you on your toes because there were just so many possibilities. It could be during a cute, romantic dinner or an adventure with a picturesque background for a proposal. It could be during a morning stroll on the beach or a helicopter ride over the beautiful island. It could even be next to a raging waterfall or underwater during a snorkeling trip. The possibilities were endless and you felt as if you were going crazy with each new idea that popped in your head.

When Alexia came home the night before you had planned to leave, the apartment you two shared was an utter mess. You had to fit a handful of outfits you could mix and match during your two week vacation. But you also had to prepare for the wide range of activities Alexia was planning for the two of you. Narrowing down what to wear was an obstacle all on its own.

“Almost done packing, mi vida?” Alexia whispered, slipping behind you as she looked at your bags over your shoulder.

She held in her chuckle as she noticed there were more clothes laid out everywhere in the room instead of in your suitcase. They were still only half packed, clothes hanging all over the bed. Some draped over your opened suitcase, others thrown haphazardly in a pile.

“I don't know what I’m going to wear, Ale,” you whined, leaning forward to grab a top and holding it up as you contemplated whether it would make the cut.

“Just pack some sleep clothes and swimsuits,” she said, her eyes falling shut as she laid her head against your back, loving the warmth and comfort of having you in her arms again. “You won’t be needing much of anything else.”

“But I want to look good. This is a special vacation,” you whined.

“You know I think you’ll look good in whatever you wear,” she told you, reaching over to pick up an item from your discard pile so she could neatly fold it and make a new pile.

You glared at her because you knew she was trying to keep you happy, but she was being no help whatsoever. It also irked you slightly that she was already fully packed, her bags sitting by the door, ready to be whisked away in the morning rush to the airport.

“Half the time you’ll be dressed in a nice little swimsuit, so it’s not like you need much else. Anything else you need, we can either buy there or you can borrow from me. Besides, the other half of the time, we could be in our room which means, you won’t really be needing any clothes,” she murmured, teasingly nipping at your neck.

You giggled at the sensation, nudging her away, as you twirled in her arms.

“I want to look cute for this,” you amended.

“You always look cute,” Alexia said, leaning down to press a kiss to your nose.

“You're not helping,” you grumbled, slipping out of her hold and sitting on the bed. The pout on your face was adorable, but Alexia could tell you were taking this whole situation very seriously.

“Don’t stress about this too much, mi amor,” she cupped your cheeks, making sure you were looking at her. “This vacation is about relaxing. You shouldn’t be getting riled up over this.”

“I know, I know. But this time it's special. And since you won't tell me what you're planning,” she rolled her eyes playfully at you trying to trick her into revealing everything, “I have to be ready at all times.”

“Good try, but how about I actually help you back your stuff?” Alexia deflected, wanting to help wind you down from this overthinking tirade.

You sent her a relieved smile, quickly nodding your head as you both got to work sorting through your clothes once more until you had a full suitcase. With one less thing to worry about, you slowly felt a bit of the tension in your shoulders momentarily wash away.

After you set your packed bags next to hers by the door, we flopped onto your couch, the mental exhaustion catching up to you. It didn’t take much coaxing from Alexia to get you to agree to order in food and relax before the whirlwind of vacation swept in.

But for the rest of the night you planned on enjoying the fleeting bliss before your mind could conjure up more scenarios to work you up again. And it was always so much easier to do that with your girlfriend by your side, arms around you, her softly humming into your ear to help calm you.

****

As soon as the plane touched down in Hawaii, you found yourself buzzing with both excitement and a tad bit of anxiety. All you wanted was to know when and where the proposal was happening. You wanted to be photo ready and emotionally prepared, so the surprise was killing you.

Even though it was supposed to be all happy, you felt like you couldn’t relax. Your mind refused to let your guard down completely. Thankfully, it all came in waves. You could indulge in the nice moments between you and Alexia, taking in the sights and emptying your mind for pieces of time.

What sucked was the slightly quieter moments that allowed your mind to wander. When you had too much time to think, you always overthought everything. Your head was constantly on a swivel as you searched for Alexia everytime she was out of sight for a moment too long. Then you’d think about the outfit you were wearing and if it’d fit the occasion if you were to turn and find your girlfriend on one knee, staring up at you with a hopeful smile.

Fortunately for you, your girlfriend was quick to step in before you could work yourself into a tizzy. She was good at redirecting your thoughts, whether it’d be to point out the beautiful scenery surrounding you on these magical islands or if it’d be as simple as unintentionally flexing her tanned and defined muscles that’d leave you flushed as your mind wandered.

Alexia was extremely attentive this trip, and you made sure to soak it all in.

The midfielder was an amazing girlfriend, but at times during the season, you and your relationship with the talented captain would sometimes have to take a backseat while she uplifted a legendary club and a thriving national team.

Even with you being on the same team, it could get difficult to balance everything. So Alexia, over the years, had come to affection overloading you in her break times, and you’d be a liar to say you hated it.

It had been almost a week of full bliss with your girlfriend in Hawaii and still no sign of a ring. You’d already gone on two breathtaking hikes, eaten at delicious hole-in-the-wall restaurants she had researched, and sunbathed to your heart’s content.

Each night so far had ended with a private, romantic dinner where the two of you would talk about anything and everything for hours. You found yourself throughout the trip feeling as if you had travelled back in time, and you were learning about Alexia all over again.

You reminisced on the dates you had been on at the very start of your relationship, and it reminded you so much of what you were feeling now. But instead of those crazy, scary nerves you had about possibly messing up a relationship before it even started, you now felt warm, loved, and safe.

The way the two of you had grown together throughout the years has been one of your favorite things in the world. Yes, the two of you would occasionally fight and argue, but in the end you were always in each other’s corner. Your bond allowed you both to step up and support each other whenever needed. When one of you felt down, the other worked harder to help bring you back up.

She was there to help heal you whenever you tried to deny you were sick even though you were coughing up a lung with snot running down your nose. She was there to lift you up when you felt your chances on your national team slipping away. She was there to make you smile whenever you felt upset about missing another milestone like a major birthday or even wedding in your family’s life as they lived a whole ocean away.

And just as she was there for you whenever you needed her most, you were there for her.

You were there to keep her company and out of her head and she watched endless game films after a tough match, win or lose. You were there to remind her to love whenever she and Alba got into any heated arguments that led to weeks of no contact between the two sisters. You were there to pull her from the depths of her despair when she tore her ACL and the devastating recovery that followed.

Each and every milestone in both your careers and life since the two of you made it official was shared and celebrated with one another.

Despite being in such close proximity to each other almost all the time between working and living together, there was never a dull moment. You took turns planning dates to help keep the romance alive. It was hard to feel like you never had anything to say because you two could talk for hours on end and still have more to add. And on the flipside, you could sit in complete silence and never feel an ounce of awkwardness.

You really felt like you won the dating lottery with Alexia.

This trip was needed for so many reasons, and it couldn’t have come at a better time. To begin with, you felt like you could decompress after what felt like a long, grueling season. There was also the opportunity to reconnect with your girlfriend, catching up on missed date nights or even spending quality time with one another that didn’t revolve around work. And of course, it was going to help move you two into the next step of your relationship.

You were ready to start the next day of your vacation, optimistic that today could be the day, just as you felt every morning since you woke up in the Aloha state.

While you had come to expect it, you still weren’t thrilled to wake up and find Alexia was no longer in bed with you. Being the athlete she was, and not being able to take off a full day, Alexia was always out for a morning run.

Checking the clock by your bedside, you saw that Alexia was due to be back any minute now, so you figured you’d get started on a quick breakfast to hold you over until lunchtime. With that in mind, you got up from bed, slowly sliding out from under the covers. The cold hardwood floors beneath you caused goosebumps to form up and down your arms.

There was a chill in the suite you were staying in. The warm air outside was nice and welcomed, but inside you both liked to keep the AC low, prompting you to search for a hoodie instead of turning up the heat. You knew Alexia packed one of her favorite hoodies, which also happened to be your favorite to steal, and you were dying to wear it right now.

Digging through Alexia’s stuff, you quickly find the hoodie you were searching for and throw it on. The encompassing smell that is purely Alexia immediately calms you. As you’re hugging yourself to warm up and breathe in her scent, you noticed something out of the ordinary in the back of the drawer.

Curiosity got the better of you, so you reached out and pulled out the offending item. A rather loud gasp escaped upon finding a black box sitting in the palm of your hand.

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what it was. You knew she had to have hidden it somewhere, but you didn’t expect to find it before the time was right.

You couldn’t help yourself, your hand gently lifted the lid of the ring box, a small gasp escaping when you took in the ring perched in the middle of the box.

It was absolutely stunning. The diamond itself was just the perfect size for you, nothing too in your face but still big enough to catch the eye. The white gold shimmered along with the tiny diamonds set on the band, caging in the diamond in the middle.

The ring was perfect.

“You weren’t meant to see that yet,” you hear from behind you, snapping you out of the trance.

At the sound of her voice, you quickly shut the box in your hand, feeling incredibly embarrassed and insanely guilty. Slowly, you turned around, your eyes trained to the floor, afraid of her expression. Your mouth opened and shut a few times as you tried to find the words to apologize.

“It’s okay, mi amor. I’m not mad,” she reassured you, stepping into your personal space, her hands slowly taking yours.

You threw the box onto the bed, needing it out of your hands as you hid your face behind your fingers, mortified for messing everything up, “I’m so sorry, Ale.”

“Don’t be. In fact, I’ve been watching you for awhile,” she admitted, revealing that she��d been quietly standing at the door watching as you pulled the ring out and inspected it.

“I’m sorry, Ale,” you repeated, not even able to bring yourself to peek through your fingers to gauge her true reaction.

She shook her head, “Stop apologizing. I could have stopped you but I didn’t. Besides, you were going to see it soon anyways.”

Your jaw literally dropped as your girlfriend lowered down to one knee in front of you. “This isn’t how I planned it, but seeing you in my hoodie with the ring in your hand, I don’t want to wait anymore.”

“Alexia…” you breathed out, your voice wispy as tears began to well in your eyes.

“I’ve known since day one that you would be an important person in my life,” the midfielder started, reaching over to grab the ring box off the bed, opening it and staring down at the carefully crafted piece of jewelry. “Every day we spend together, I find another reason to never let you go and promise myself that I will do whatever I can to make you smile at me for the rest of our lives. I don’t want to wait to call you mine forever,” the slight crack of her voice told you she was nervous, despite you two talking about this very moment numerous times in the past. “Will you marry me?”

The question was barely out of her mouth before you were shouting, “Yes!”

With the biggest grin you’d ever seen, Alexia shot up, pulling you in for a deep kiss, as she slid the ring onto your finger. You pulled away from her, immediately hugging her close, not quite ready for her to anywhere but pressed up against you.

The next second the switch flipped as you both turned to celebrating this momentous occasion by slowly stripping each other of your clothes and finding the bed in your haste to feel one another.

After a few rounds, you found yourself lying on your back, Alexia on her side, watching you as one of her hands continued to trail innocent, lazy paths along your exposed body.

Both of you basked in the afterglow of your previous activities, the calm quiet allowing your minds to catch up to present.

“Will you tell me what you were planning to do? I know you had some crazy proposal actually planned out,” you said to her, turning over so you could face her.

She hummed, not quite ready to escape the state of bliss.

“Well your family and my family are actually flying in later today,” she started. “They know everything, so you’re going to have to pretend this never happened and act surprised when I propose. I think they’d kill me if they found out I already did it,” Alexia said, her voice wavering slightly because she would totally get berated by Alba and at least one of your sisters and possibly a brother.

Her admission started as a chuckle but quickly turned into a full belly laugh. Your laugh was infectious, and soon Alexia couldn’t find it in her to not join in.

“I like that. It’s like our little secret,” you said, sinking into the bed, Alexia leaning over until she was practically sprawled out on top of you.

She explained how your immediate families were coming in to witness the beginning of the next chapter in your life. The two of you agreed that as soon as you saw them, you had better act surprised to not arouse any suspicion. They were to keep any details about the proposal under lock and key.

Their first day there was meant to help them acclimate to the new scenery and time change. Alexia had planned a very chill day for that exact reason, allowing everyone to gather their bearings with a nice hearty meal and exquisite sights.

Your now fiancée then started to go into detail of how it was supposed to take place at a little private beach at sunset because it reminded her of that one sunset on a beach years ago where she first realized she loved you. And how a couple of weeks later, she took you back to that exact spot to confess it.

She showed you her notes on her phone about what she wanted to add to her speech, which was much longer and just slightly more heartfelt than the way she had thrown all caution to the wind, unexpectedly proposing to you in the middle of your hotel room.

Alexia went over every detail she had planned out, from photos and videos of the proposal to where she planned to take everyone to dinner afterwards. Each new detail made your heart stutter, as you felt the genuinity of each carefully masterminded idea.

While in bed with a new shiny ring on your finger, one you’d have to return temporarily so she could initiate the actual proposal in front of your loved ones, you realized you couldn’t stop grinning. You pictured everything she was saying to you, each little detail its own way of her saying she loved you.

The scenario you had playing in your mind was the exact way everything played out the next day.

It was the perfect second proposal from her. You couldn't wait to show everyone that you were now officially engaged to the love of your life.

#woso x reader #woso imagine #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas imagine

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mostlysignssomeportents · 9 months ago

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The specific process by which Google enshittified its search

I'm touring my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me SATURDAY (Apr 27) in MARIN COUNTY, then Winnipeg (May 2), Calgary (May 3), Vancouver (May 4), and beyond!

All digital businesses have the technical capacity to enshittify: the ability to change the underlying functions of the business from moment to moment and user to user, allowing for the rapid transfer of value between business customers, end users and shareholders:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this thread to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/24/naming-names/#prabhakar-raghavan

Which raises an important question: why do companies enshittify at a specific moment, after refraining from enshittifying before? After all, a company always has the potential to benefit by treating its business customers and end users worse, by giving them a worse deal. If you charge more for your product and pay your suppliers less, that leaves more money on the table for your investors.

Of course, it's not that simple. While cheating, price-gouging, and degrading your product can produce gains, these tactics also threaten losses. You might lose customers to a rival, or get punished by a regulator, or face mass resignations from your employees who really believe in your product.

Companies choose not to enshittify their products…until they choose to do so. One theory to explain this is that companies are engaged in a process of continuous assessment, gathering data about their competitive risks, their regulators' mettle, their employees' boldness. When these assessments indicate that the conditions are favorable to enshittification, the CEO walks over to the big "enshittification" lever on the wall and yanks it all the way to MAX.

Some companies have certainly done this – and paid the price. Think of Myspace or Yahoo: companies that made themselves worse by reducing quality and gouging on price (be it measured in dollars or attention – that is, ads) before sinking into obscure senescence. These companies made a bet that they could get richer while getting worse, and they were wrong, and they lost out.

But this model doesn't explain the Great Enshittening, in which all the tech companies are enshittifying at the same time. Maybe all these companies are subscribing to the same business newsletter (or, more likely, buying advice from the same management consultancy) (cough McKinsey cough) that is a kind of industry-wide starter pistol for enshittification.

I think it's something else. I think the main job of a CEO is to show up for work every morning and yank on the enshittification lever as hard as you can, in hopes that you can eke out some incremental gains in your company's cost-basis and/or income by shifting value away from your suppliers and customers to yourself.

We get good digital services when the enshittification lever doesn't budge – when it is constrained: by competition, by regulation, by interoperable mods and hacks that undo enshittification (like alternative clients and ad-blockers) and by workers who have bargaining power thanks to a tight labor market or a powerful union:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/09/lead-me-not-into-temptation/#chamberlain

When Google ordered its staff to build a secret Chinese search engine that would censor search results and rat out dissidents to the Chinese secret police, googlers revolted and refused, and the project died:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragonfly_(search_engine)

When Google tried to win a US government contract to build AI for drones used to target and murder civilians far from the battlefield, googlers revolted and refused, and the project died:

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/01/technology/google-pentagon-project-maven.html

What's happened since – what's behind all the tech companies enshittifying all at once – is that tech worker power has been smashed, especially at Google, where 12,000 workers were fired just months after a $80b stock buyback that would have paid their wages for the next 27 years. Likewise, competition has receded from tech bosses' worries, thanks to lax antitrust enforcement that saw most credible competitors merged into behemoths, or neutralized with predatory pricing schemes. Lax enforcement of other policies – privacy, labor and consumer protection – loosened up the enshittification lever even more. And the expansion of IP rights, which criminalize most kinds of reverse engineering and aftermarket modification, means that interoperability no longer applies friction to the enshittification lever.

Now that every tech boss has an enshittification lever that moves very freely, they can show up for work, yank the enshittification lever, and it goes all the way to MAX. When googlers protested the company's complicity in the genocide in Gaza, Google didn't kill the project – it mass-fired the workers:

https://medium.com/@notechforapartheid/statement-from-google-workers-with-the-no-tech-for-apartheid-campaign-on-googles-indiscriminate-28ba4c9b7ce8

Enshittification is a macroeconomic phenomenon, determined by the regulatory environment for competition, privacy, labor, consumer protection and IP. But enshittification is also a microeconomic phenomenon, the result of innumerable boardroom and product-planning fights within companies in which would-be enshittifiers try to do things that make the company's products and services shittier wrestle with rivals who want to keep things as they are, or make them better, whether out of principle or fear of the consequences.

Those microeconomic wrestling-matches are where we find enshittification's heroes and villains – the people who fight for the user or stand up for a fair deal, versus the people who want to cheat and wreck to make things better for the company and win bonuses and promotions for themselves:

https://locusmag.com/2023/11/commentary-by-cory-doctorow-dont-be-evil/

These microeconomic struggles are usually obscure, because companies are secretive institutions and our glimpses into their deliberations are normally limited to the odd leaked memo, whistleblower tell-all, or spectacular worker revolt. But when a company gets dragged into court, a new window opens into the company's internal operations. That's especially true when the plaintiff is the US government.

Which brings me back to Google, the poster-child for enshittification, a company that revolutionized the internet a quarter of a century ago with a search-engine that was so good that it felt like magic, which has decayed so badly and so rapidly that whole sections of the internet are disappearing from view for the 90% of users who rely on the search engine as their gateway to the internet.

Google is being sued by the DOJ's Antitrust Division, and that means we are getting a very deep look into the company, as its internal emails and memos come to light:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/03/not-feeling-lucky/#fundamental-laws-of-economics

Google is a tech company, and tech companies have literary cultures – they run on email and other forms of written communication, even for casual speech, which is more likely to take place in a chat program than at a water-cooler. This means that tech companies have giant databases full of confessions to every crime they've ever committed:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/03/big-tech-cant-stop-telling-on-itself/

Large pieces of Google's database-of-crimes are now on display – so much, in fact, that it's hard for anyone to parse through it all and understand what it means. But some people are trying, and coming up with gold. One of those successful prospectors is Ed Zitron, who has produced a staggering account of the precise moment at which Google search tipped over into enshittification, which names the executives at the very heart of the rot:

https://www.wheresyoured.at/the-men-who-killed-google/

Zitron tells the story of a boardroom struggle over search quality, in which Ben Gomes – a long-tenured googler who helped define the company during its best years – lost a fight with Prabhakar Raghavan, a computer scientist turned manager whose tactic for increasing the number of search queries (and thus the number of ads the company could show to searchers) was to decrease the quality of search. That way, searchers would have to spend more time on Google before they found what they were looking for.

Zitron contrasts the background of these two figures. Gomes, the hero, worked at Google for 19 years, solving fantastically hard technical scaling problems and eventually becoming the company's "search czar." Raghavan, the villain, "failed upwards" through his career, including a stint as Yahoo's head of search from 2005-12, a presiding over the collapse of Yahoo's search business. Under Raghavan's leadership, Yahoo's search market-share fell from 30.4% to 14%, and in the end, Yahoo jettisoned its search altogether and replaced it with Bing.

For Zitron, the memos show how Raghavan engineered the ouster of Gomes, with help from the company CEO, the ex-McKinseyite Sundar Pichai. It was a triumph for enshittification, a deliberate decision to make the product worse in order to make it more profitable, under the (correct) belief that the company's exclusivity deals to provide search everywhere from Iphones and Samsungs to Mozilla would mean that the business would face no consequences for doing so.

It a picture of a company that isn't just too big to fail – it's (as FTC Chair Lina Khan put it on The Daily Show) too big to care:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaDTiWaYfcM

Zitron's done excellent sleuthing through the court exhibits here, and his writeup is incandescently brilliant. But there's one point I quibble with him on. Zitron writes that "It’s because the people running the tech industry are no longer those that built it."

I think that gets it backwards. I think that there were always enshittifiers in the C-suites of these companies. When Page and Brin brought in the war criminal Eric Schmidt to run the company, he surely started every day with a ritual, ferocious tug at that enshittification lever. The difference wasn't who was in the C-suite – the difference was how freely the lever moved.

On Saturday, I wrote:

The platforms used to treat us well and now treat us badly. That's not because they were setting a patient trap, luring us in with good treatment in the expectation of locking us in and turning on us. Tech bosses do not have the executive function to lie in wait for years and years.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/22/kargo-kult-kaptialism/#dont-buy-it

Someone on Hacker News called that "silly," adding that "tech bosses do in fact have the executive function to lie in wait for years and years. That's literally the business model of most startups":

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40114339

That's not quite right, though. The business-model of the startup is to yank on the enshittification lever every day. Tech bosses don't lie in wait for the perfect moment to claw away all the value from their employees, users, business customers, and suppliers – they're always trying to get that value. It's only when they become too big to care that they succeed. That's the definition of being too big to care.

In antitrust circles, they sometimes say that "the process is the punishment." No matter what happens to the DOJ's case against Google, its internal workers have been made visible to the public. The secrecy surrounding the Google trial when it was underway meant that a lot of this stuff flew under the radar when it first appeared. But as Zitron's work shows, there is plenty of treasure to be found in that trove of documents that is now permanently in the public domain.

When future scholars study the enshittocene, they will look to accounts like Zitron's to mark the turning points from the old, good internet to the enshitternet. Let's hope those future scholars have a new, good internet on which to publish their findings.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/24/naming-names/#prabhakar-raghavan

#pluralistic #ed zitron #google #microincentives #constraints #enshittification #rot economy #platform decay #search #ben gomes #code yellow #mckinsey #hacking engagement #Prabhakar Raghavan #yahoo #doj #antitrust #trustbusting

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crimsntwlip · 1 year ago

Text

foolish. | theodore nott x fem!reader

pairing: ex!theodore x fem!reader

warnings: cursing, angst, mentions of alcohol, mentions of blood, bandleader!theo, ex!theo, jealous!theo, protective!theo, readers status not mentioned, reader is a ravenclaw, google translated italian 😭

summary: Theodore, your ex after a 16 month relationship, is performing at a slytherin party. you attend this party, wanting to go out and finally enjoy yourself, but end up cleaning his wounds

a/n: inspired by this tiktok :> posted: 11/25/23 | masterlist

in the aftermath of the recent events, you were left heartbroken. it had been a 16 months into what you had thought was a happy relationship, and theodore’s sudden decision to end things without any reasons only added to your confusion.

along with the overwhelming emotions of sadness and anger, you found yourself in bed for days on end, consumed by thoughts of what could have caused everything to unravel.

the fear of encountering him only kept you holed up in your dormitory, leading you to skip meals and isolate yourself from everyone. your friend’s patience had run out, despite their affection for you, they couldnt stand watching you suffer in bed because of the certain slytherin any longer.

there was a party coming up in slytherins common room, which you immediately turn down the invitation, knowing theodore would be there performing with his bandmates. “cmon (y/n)! it’ll be fun plus you can use this opportunity to get your mind off of him!” your friend begged in a heartfelt plea.

you only groan, annoyance rising up slowly as you had been denying their offer all day. “god! fine fine ill fucking go!” you blurt out. your friend squeal, wrapping their arms around you as they squeeze you. “okay enough.. i already said im going! dont make me regret it,” you uttered under your friend. they immediately pull away. ��you better keep your word!” they declare.

as the days passed and the party approached, you found yourself slipping back into your old habits. the routine of attending classes and meals became second nature once again, but there was one thing you made a conscious effort to avoid - nott. despite your efforts, you couldn't help but notice your other house mates whispering about how he would often stare at you from across the room. however, you continue to pay no attention towards him.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

"are you sure i look hot?" (y/n) inquired, looking in the mirror at the fitted cute black dress that hugged her body. (y/n) made a point of going all out tonight, she didn't want to appear miserable in the eyes of others now that she wasn't with theodore anymore.

your friend assures you, "babes. you are the most hottest person i know." you laugh, finishing up by teasing the roots of your hair for more volume and fixing your makeup, adding a soft red lipstick.

as the two of you turn to face each other, your friend gives you a smug look while you roll your eyes playfully at them. without a word, you both intertwine arms and make your way out of the ravenclaw common room, heading towards the intimidating atmosphere of the slytherin domain.

as you step inside the slytherin common room, the scent of alcohol greets you, along with a racket of voices and music. the noise surrounds you, enveloping your senses as you navigate through the crowd.

theodore and his bandmates—draco, mattheo, blaise, and pansy—were standing right across the room. he was simply taking a break after spending the entire night playing. he eased his messy hair out of his way and looked around the room while removing his guitar strap and gently placing the instrument down. merely wishing that you had made it.

he struggled to understand his own reasoning for ending things with you. yet, he could not bring himself to confront the truth. despite this, he deeply longed for your presence and the intimate moments shared between you. he had noticed that you were avoiding him, which he totally understood. he thought that breaking up with you was a foolish and regretful decision, and he felt like a total asshole for doing so.

his eyes landed on you. his eyes widening a bit in surprised that you had actually came. he scanned your figure, noticing that you were wearing his favorite dress of yours. there was a reason it was his favorite, his eyes scanning your curves and slowly went up towards your face. observing your light makeup and the red lipstick you loved to wear, he thought about how beautiful you looked to tonight.

he longed to reach out to you, to hold you close and shield you from the unwanted attention of those around you. but he knew he couldn't, for you were no longer his, a fact that tore at his heart. he could only clench his jaw in frustration and avert his gaze, unable to do anything.

upon your arrival at the event, you were dismayed to discover that your friend had already been discreetly ushered away from your side. a sense of isolation and regret washed over you as you watched her being dragged away by friends from different houses. with a heavy sigh, you made your way to the designated drink area, already questioning your decision of attending.

after grabbing a red, empty cup and filling it with spiked punch, you turn around and stand there looking around the room and taking in the view while sipping from your cup.

“hey hottie.” startled by an unfamiliar voice, you turn to your right and come face to face with cormac mclaggen - the persistent gryffindor who had been trying to woo you despite your relationship. his confident smirk is met with your nonchalant demeanor “heard you’re finally a free woman.” you roll your eyes, unimpressed, “piss off.” you state calmly before taking another sip and avert your gaze.

when theodore's eyes found you again, he saw mclaggen standing beside you. theodore couldn't help but feel uneasy as his gaze suddenly focused on the two of you. he knew too well that mclaggen had an unhealthy obsession with you and a reputation for being possessive. his eyebrows furrowed in slow anger, he watched the scene unfold with his jaw tightening involuntarily. theodore could sense that mclaggen had gone too far, and his tolerance was beginning to wear thin.

“oh come on sweetheart," he pleaded desperately, his hands gripping your waist tightly in a futile attempt to draw you closer to him. but you pushed him away, determined to break free from his grasp.

"fucking let go of me," you demanded, feeling disgusted by his touch. ignoring your command, he continued to hold onto you with a stubborn determination. "i don't think i wi—" his words were abruptly cut off as a punch landed square on his jaw, causing him to stumble backwards.

you stepped back in shock as your ex and mclaggen engaged in an intense physical fight, drawing the attention of others who gathered around them with murmurs and shouts.

as you stood there, trembling with fear and desperation, you mustered up all your strength to firmly grasp onto theo's arm and try to pry him away from the situation. your voice quivered as you exclaimed "theo, that's enough!"

but it was only when he felt your touch pulling him back that he finally stopped his aggressive actions. he made sure not to hurt you as he spat out angry Italian words towards the boy in front of him.

with a fierce glare, theodore warned the boy “se la tocchi ancora, cazzo, sei morto.” you quickly dragged him through the crowd, navigating through throngs of people until you reached the familiar staircase leading up to his dorm room.

despite his initial resistance, theo let himself be pulled along by your firm grip on his arm. once inside his room, he collapsed onto his bed in frustration and anger.

despite only sighing, you continue to search through his drawers in silence. after months had passed, you still remembered where you had left the small medkit and quickly retrieved it from its hiding spot. slamming it down on top of the drawer, your eyes begin to water as you gather supplies to clean off the blood from wounds.

theodore watched you silently, guilt piling up already within him. it was a surreal moment for you, helping your ex-boyfriend who had ended things between the two of you. turning around with watery eyes, you meet his gaze which softens upon seeing your tears.

you maintain your silence and proceed to gently wipe away the blood from his wounded face with the cloth. he watches you closely, visibly swallowing as he does so. "i'm sor-" he begins to say, but you quickly interrupt him, your voice shaking as you try to hold back tears. "don't you even dare apologize," your voice shakes with emotion as you struggle to hold back tears that threaten to spill over.

"(y/n)," he whispered, the sound of your name slipping from his lips causing you to feel a wave of emotions. tears began to flow down your cheeks as you gazed at him, meeting his gaze with a mixture of hurt and relief. without hesitation, he pulled you close to him on his bed, wrapping an arm around your waist. his heart ached, seeing how much pain he caused you. in between sobs, you heard him whispering apologies, begging for your forgiveness.

"fuck (y/n), i am so sorry. i know i messed up by breaking up with you. I can't even believe how stupid I was to let you go in the first place. please forgive me." his words were filled with remorse and regret as he held onto you tightly.

you bit your bottom lip, feeling it tremble as you buried your face into the boy's chest. with a heavy heart, you shook your head in disbelief. "no," you whimpered, the sound muffled against his shirt.

a deep ache settled in your chest as you mustered the courage to speak up. "you don't get to do this," you exclaimed, your voice quivering with emotion. you poked his chest for emphasis as you continued, "you can't just randomly break up with me and expect me to come running back to you like nothing happened!"

it was unfair. it was unjustified. and most of all, it hurt.

"you didn't even seem to have a reason to," you pried, pulling away from his embrace. but he wouldn't let go, his arm tightening around you possessively.

"i know i messed up," he whispered apologetically, his tone pleading for forgiveness. "i.. i was just being a coward. i should have gone talk to you but i didnt. and i regretted it everyday. but i promise i’ll make it right again”

your heart wavered at his words, torn between holding onto your anger and giving him another chance. you knew deep down that he still held a special place in your heart despite everything that had transpired between the two of you.

but could you really trust him again? could you risk getting hurt once more?

with a heavy sigh, you pushed away from him and looked into his eyes earnestly. "i-i don’t know," you spoke firmly yet gently. "i don’t want to end up getting hurt again," you trailed off, your voice vulnerable and hesitant. you couldn't bear the thought of going through the same pain and heartache that had left you broken before.

"and I promise you, you won't," he pleaded earnestly, his tone gentle yet determined. he could see the fear in your eyes and it pained him to know that someone had caused such deep scars on your heart."not ever again," he reassured, reaching out to gently rub your arm in a soothing gesture.

you raised your gaze to meet his, lifting your head from his chest with an unspoken question in your eyes. searching his features for any hints of hesitation or uncertainty, you couldn't help but nervously bite your lip - a small mannerism that always surfaced when you were anxious.

sensing your unease, he tenderly reached up and brushed away the tears and streaks of mascara that stained your cheeks. the gentle touch of his hand on your face caused you to lean into it, realizing in that moment just how much you had missed the intimate contact between you and him.

after a long moment of hesitation, you let out a resigned sigh and surrendered yourself to him, sinking into his embrace and resting your head on his chest. with a heavy heart, you whispered the words

"one chance" as your thoughts raced and your emotions battled within. yet, despite everything, you found the strength to give him one more opportunity to prove himself.

your voice was soft but resolute as you spoke, feeling his tense body relax as he heard your words. he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head, expressing his gratitude for this chance. "thank you amore," he said sincerely.

"i missed you so fucking much." he announced. you only planted soft kisses on his cheek, uttering, "i missed you even more, Teddy..please don't act foolishly next time." he only grinned at your remark, nodding as he grabbed your chin, staring at your eyes, glancing at your lips as he hesitated, and you nod gently, giving him permission to pull you into a passionate soft kiss.

#emsnotion #slytherin boys #slytherin boys imagine #slytherin boys x reader #theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott imagine #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #—crimsntwlipᡣ𐭩

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fairlyang · 1 year ago

Text

Roommate 🕷️

you get caught masturbating by your hot cocky roommate, and he helps you out

w/c: 4.3K

pairing: roommate!miguel x f!reader

tags: 18+ smut. fantasizing about him, thinking you're alone, being watched, flashbacks, he scared the living daylights out of you, secondhand embarrassment (I live for some cringe), confessions, rough, some spanish dirty talk (no Google translate but yes English translations), creampie, and passing tf out

notes: number three of my og fics from june and I don’t hate this one as much

You were a college student living in an apartment in New York with a cocky roommate because the rent would be too much for you alone. Miguel O'Hara.

You stumbled across his ad looking for a roommate who didn't have any kids, and wasn't a piece of shit who paid bills late. So you messaged him and said you were responsible with bills and didn't have any children. He messaged back within the same hour and asked when you can move in.

It was a little over a year since then and time flew fast. You almost never got to see Miguel because of school and work. You were in your junior year of college and were finally in a good working position with decent pay.

You weren't sure what kind of job Miguel has but it has to be something really frustrating because he comes home mad as shit super often. Maybe he works in construction? Not sure but he definitely has the build for it.

Now with finals week you were stressed as fuck scrambling to finish some work and any extra credit assignments to end your junior year of college well. You already had your day to day schedule set, classes between 8am-12pm and work between 2-10 occasionally 11.

Miguel's schedule on the other hand was all over the place and you never knew when you'd be seeing him, when he'd be home, and he still pays his half of the bills but what was the point if he barely stays here anyway?

You minded your business and the very rare times you end up stumbling across him you keep conversations casual not wanting to overstep or make him uncomfortable. But you still end up talking back to him playfully and he doesn't mind so that's been a good sign.

Tonight there was no sign of him, and you've been very stressed and touch starved all week long. You shut your bedroom curtains and jump onto your bed. You get comfortable and take off your pj pants but keeping your tank top on. You first start lightly rubbing your nipples, then pinching one and the other. You moan and feel them both getting hard. You squeeze your tits, closing your eyes.

You play with them imagining it's Miguel's hands on you instead of yours. "S-shit."

Your right hand trails down to your panties, you slowly rub your clit in circle subconsciously clenching your thighs from how sensitive it feels. You open your eyes and giggle. It's really been a while.

Your thoughts go back to Miguel and you've found him attractive since you stumbled upon his ad but it intensified when you moved in and he was around way more.

You were hanging in the living room reading when you hear a door slam and it startled you a bit. Then you hear a door open so you assumed Miguel just went back to his room so you kept reading.

You were sitting with your legs out on the sofa and you were facing the kitchen instead of the tv. Past the kitchen is a hallway that leads to your room, the bathroom then Miguel's at the end. You heard his footsteps moving around until you saw him walking straight into the kitchen with only a towel on his waist.

His skin was glistening, still wet. You widen your eyes and shook your head looking down at your book. But who were you kidding.... You bite your lip, looking up to look at his muscular back as he was getting something from the fridge. You look at how his shoulders move as he grabs something and your breathing becomes uneasy.

You quickly look back down at your book as he closes the fridge. We had an open bar kinda of island so you could look into the kitchen and he could look into the living room, which was what he was doing...

You felt his eyes on you so you try your best to stay calm, control your breathing and boom you're fine. Until he turns back around to get a snack from the cupboard reaching for the whatever was on the top shelf- he was already very tall so you knew he was doing for your viewing pleasure making you flush.

You roll your eyes but might as well- his biceps were huge, his shoulder blades were insane and your eyes began to feel very lustful. He puts down whatever he got and all of a sudden has to yawn and crack his back flexing everything for you to see. You felt like you were in a trance and couldn't look away until you heard him chuckle.

He starts turning around and you look down as soon as you saw him move and bite your lip. Shit shit shit. "Y'know you could take a picture if you'd like muñeca, they last longer." He says with a smirk on his face. (doll)

"I think I'll pass thanks." You say looking him in his eyes as you're scrunching your nose in fake disgust while he just smirks at you and walks away.

Your fingers were rubbing a little faster now slightly feeling your wetness over your panties. Damn.

You stop and lean over to your bedside table and grab your dildo. Might as well.

You move your panties to the side then spit on your dildo and making sure it gets everywhere. You grab it with one hand and use the other to stroke it. God why isn't this Miguel.

You lay on your stomach and close your eyes. You kiss the tip and start to slowly take it in your mouth. You moan and go lower until you feel the tip at your uvula. You pull away and moan using all your spit to stroke it again.

You move it to your bottom half and line it up to your wet pussy. "O-oh shit-" your eyes widen realizing how tight you are. Has it really been that long???

You take it out and start sucking again until you get more saliva and try to fit it inside again. The tip is barely in and you whine. You slowly fuck the tip into you until your pussy gets use to it and then it feels fine so you put it in a bit deeper and now you're halfway on your 8 inch dildo.

You moan and clench your thighs. You roll your eyes back and blink them open looking at how you fuck yourself slowly. You spread your legs with one hand between them fucking your pussy slowly when you push in further and take all of it. You whimper and shake a little. You grab a body pillow and place it on top of you, your empty hand grabbing onto it hard. You close your eyes and start to think of it being Miguel's dick inside you, teasing you not wanting to pound into you yet.

You decided to do some yoga in the living room while watching a video on the tv. You were in a sports bra and tight fitting shorts accentuating your curves, thighs, and ass. You didn't even hear him come in when you were doing the downward dog then switched to the doggy position unknowing you were being watched.

You did a straddle split and leaning forward for a solid minute when you heard a low whistle startling you. Your heart jumped out of your chest as you sit up and look behind you. "Were you... watching me?" You ask your eyebrows furrowed, confused as shit.

"Thought I could take some notes..." He says with a confident manner and gives you a wink making you roll your eyes.

"Acting as if you could do that O'Hara, no seas baboso." You chuckle and smirk. (Don't be stupid)

He has a smug grin on his face and you think of something. You go get into the extended doggy position earning a gulp and a quiet "chingada madre" from Miguel. (Mother fucker)

You try not to make any noises besides your steady breathing. You hold it for a good fifteen seconds before saying, "Take a picture it'll last longer."

"I just might..." he says sounding like he's out of breath making you smirk.

You fuck yourself faster and harder feeling your pussy starting to cream against your dildo. Your grip on the pillow was harder and needy, as if you were grabbing against Miguel's back. "F-fuck- mmmm god j-just like that" you moan out clenching against your dildo making you shake.

You stop for a second to control your breathing. You go back to it but at a slower pace, lovingly, and passionately. You fight back the urge to moan his name but couldn't resist. "Así Miguel- n-no pares—" you moan and feel yourself squirming into the mattress. (Just like that Miguel- d-don't stop—")

You move your hand a little faster and trying to hit deeper but you're feeling tired already. You whine as you hear the creaminess with every trust. My cream would look so good on his thick cock. "Miguel te necesito- fuckk- I need you- oh I need you so ba- bad-" you moan out shaking. (I need you)

You feel that familiar feeling in your stomach and you start to fuck yourself deeper and faster whining and moaning so much more. "Fuck- so g-good."

Your juices make even more noise and you start sweating so you move your pillow to the side never opening your eyes, for more immersion. Your left hand rubs your clit while your right is still going in and out of you. You suddenly feel your orgasm take over and you fuck yourself as deep as you can take it letting out the most animalistic moans and needy whines ever. "a-a- fuck- a-ay M-Miguel-! fill me s-so good p-pl- please-"

You completely stop, your whole body shaking, your mind all foggy and when you try to open your eyes they're all hazy so you just close them again. You calm your breathing and slowly take your dildo out. It plops out and sounds like it splashed out. Really sounds like you got filled.

You sigh and bring your dildo up to your lips softly kissing it. You then lick it and get a taste of your creamy pussy until you start to lick it off the whole thing. You get the taste of your pussy off your entire dildo until you find yourself sucking on it again. You take it down your throat just gagging on it until you pull it out and breathe out. All done.

You leave it on your stomach as you rub your eyes slowly a yawn coming out of your mouth. Wonder what time it is. You lean over to your bedside table putting it on a clean towel and check your phone. It's 12:58pm. Damn.

You leave your phone there, and go back to your previous position on your bed and yawn again rubbing your eyes. When you open them you scream. You sit up trying to cover yourself fast but it's too late. "M-MIGUEL??? W-WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!??!?" You yell pulling your tank top down, and grabbing your pillow to cover your bottom half.

Your cheeks have never felt this hot in your life, oh GOD WHAT DID HE HEAR-

You feel sick to your stomach- he's literally just standing in the middle of the room with his eyes closed? But WHY-

Your eyes are wide, cheeks so fucking red. Oh my god he saw everything- you gulp and reach down to quickly fix your panties and try to calm down. "So!??!??" You yell waiting for an answer.

He takes a step closer and you can finally see him clearly in the light. He was wearing a black tee with grey sweatpants making your breath hitch when you saw his stiff bulge. Once you look back at his face his eyes open and they're red.

You jump and your heart started beating fast as fuck. "Chingada madr— W- wha- who- Miguel? What the fuck-" (mother fucke-)

He walks over to the left side of the bed making you move to the other side scared shitless. He chuckles and as fast as you can blink he's on your side of the bed grabbing your hips and leading you against the wall, grinding you onto him. You whimper and try to get out of his grasp. "Don't try it doll... no need to act like you don't want me to play with you." He says using a finger to lift your chin to meet his eyes.

His red eyes filled with so much lust it scared you. Excited you even. "W-what are you-" You ask nervously biting your lip.

He chuckles again and pushes you against the wall. You gasp as his hands start to roam your body. You bite your lip as his hands caress your hips, smacks your ass, and then pulls on your hair from behind. Your head was pulled back as well and he leans in to kiss your neck. You moan and wrap your arms behind his neck twisting and pulling on pieces of hair. He groans against your skin and bites on it. You whimper and he leaves a wet kiss on it.

He pulls away but leans close to your face, "Wanna tell me what you were doing?" He leans in about to touch your quivering lips.

"I- uh I got- horny." You whisper breathing on his lips.

"Yeah? So horny you started thinking of me playing with you hmm?" Your thighs clench and you bite your lip looking up at him.

"Contéstame amor." He growls and you moan. (Answer me love)

"Mhm- it's not the first nor the last time I'll do it either." You say looking up at him with the most innocent eyes you could pull.

He groans and grinds his bulge against your stomach making your wide go wide. "Good girl...." He snarls making your thighs clench even more.

"What were you thinking of specifically right now as you came?" He asks tracing his fingers along your neck and collarbone.

"I- I- uh- mmm..."

"Answer." He growls and you nod.

He groans and quickly picks you up and holds you against the wall. "So you like being a dirty girl when I'm gone? Not even thinking I could catch you? Not bothering to think of how hard you make me...." He snarks a hand behind your neck.

This left you breathless and made you whimper more. You wrap your legs around his hips even more to have his bulge rub against your covered but drenched pussy. "I- fuck- I haven't touched myself in a week and I needed to feel something inside me- I n-never knew you thought of me that way-" you say and he growls grinding harder against you.

You both moan at the same time and he leans in millimeters from your lips. "I've been wanting to fuck you since we met." He whispers and you smash your lips together. He reciprocated and moans into your mouth.

You have one hand on his cheek and the other gripping hairs between your fingers. His were on your neck and playing with your hair. His tongue slides into your mouth and you let him. His tongue was exploring your mouth and you couldn't even believe this was happening. You tug on his shirt to take it off and he pulls away for literally a second somehow taking it off and his lips were back on yours. "Tan hermosa...." (So beautiful)

You moan and he grinds harder against you. He groans against your mouth and you feel him grab your tank top. Then you hear the sound of fabric ripping and in two seconds its gone. "I'll get you a new one." He mutters when you stopped kissing back to say something.

"So how long were you watching me for? you perv..." You ask pulling away finally getting your hands on his broad shoulders and big biceps.

"As soon as you started fucking yourself. God I heard your moans and couldn't help myself coming in to watch- mm I needed to finally have you for myself." He answers and leaves another mark on your neck but going towards your chest.

"You can have all of me." You whisper making him squeeze your tits roughly and suck on your nipple so roughly.

You gasp and he carries you to the bed. He puts you down towards the middle and he gets on top of you kissing you desperately. Your hands are all over each other and the kiss get more and more heated, needy, and hot. He pulls away and leaves trails of kisses on your jaw, when he leaves a couple marks on your neck. "Fuck-"

He kisses them after leaving marks and goes down to suck on your nipples again while his hand goes down to rub you over your panties. "Mmm- fuck- así M-Miguel." You moan out and feel yourself shake a bit.

He runs your clit a little faster but it's still sensitive so you buck your hips up whining. He stops and pulls away looking up at you, "was that too much?"

"N-no just uh still sensitive." You say looking anywhere but his eyes.

"Then how about no foreplay and I just fuck you?" He whispers making you clench your thighs.

He smirks and leans in to kiss you. You tug on the waistband of his sweats while kissing him and he grunts. "Well actually I might wanna use your mouth a bit...." He says and you smile.

You grab him and flip positions so you're on top of him. You sit up and place yourself right on his bulge and grind on it slowly. He leans his head back his mouthing in the shape of an o and his breathing heavy. "Don't tease me too much or you won't end up liking the outcome...."

You shrug and lay one hand against his chest while grinding against him. "Jesus you're so hard- did you even stroke yourself watching me or just tortured yourself and watched?" You ask with a chuckle making him smirk.

"Might’ve been more interested in the show to even do anything...." He says and winks.

You grin and go down his body, tracing your fingers along every crevice and line, along his abs and v line. You lick down his v line to where his sweats were. "Don't need these right now..." you pull them down as he shifts up a bit so you can get them over his ass.

You slide them all the way down and just look at his bulge over his tight fitting boxers. It looks so long and thick. "Wore these on purpose hm?"

"Just took a guess." He says with a smirk.

You grab the top of the boxers and pull them off slowly until you get to where the whole thing just plops out and hits his stomach making your eyes widen. "Now suck on it like you sucked on your dildo." He says making you gulp. He's insane.

It was a good 8 to 9 inches but so fucking girthy your mind couldn't wrap your head around it. You grab the bottom of it and you have to practically grab it with both your hands. You bite your lip then kiss the tip softly. Then you stick your tongue out and slap it against your wet tongue. He quietly moans and you look up at him and do it again. He rolls his eyes back and his head against the headboard. You giggle and spit on the tip watching it all go down and slowly stroke it to have all the saliva cover it. You spit on it some more and start stroking him. While you do that you go down to his balls and suck on them. You could hear him moan some more and you could feel how wet it's making you. "Así cariño no pares- ay si-" (Just like that dear don't stop- oh fuck)

You stroke him a little faster now and come up to suck on it. You get in a decent position and slide it in your mouth slowly. You close your eyes and start going down and back up. You go about halfway until he thrusts his hips making you take the whole thing down your throat, and you moan on it. You pull up and breathe out. "Would you prefer to fuck my face? I don't have a gag reflex...."

He widens his eyes and grabs you leading you towards the floor. You get on your knees while he stands in front of you. "It won't be for too long.... This time." He says with a wink making your cheeks flush red.

"I just really need to feel your throat real quick... then that wet pussy." He says and you nod.

"You can pull on my hair too if you want..."

"Dios- porque estas tan perfecta- mas que me imaginé..." he says and goes straight to work grabbing your hair with one hand and letting you put your mouth on it first. (God- why are you so perfect- more than I imagined...)

He starts to slowly move his hips letting you adjust for a few seconds before he finally starts going faster. Your head is still and he's the one doing all the moving, you close your eyes while you feel him in your mouth going deeper and deeper. You feel him go down your throat and he keeps hitting it making you drip. He goes faster and he doesn't stop moaning your name while still having a tight grip on your hair. "Fuck- Y/n your t-throat feels so good."

You moan against his dick and he groans. "Fuck this-" he says and moving back and sliding his dick out of your mouth.

He grabs your hands helping you get up only to have him man handle you on to the bed making you lay on your stomach. "Ass up now." He says in a stern voice and you comply.

You move your ass as much as you can and then arch your back. "The dirtiest girl huh?" He smirks and lines up his dick to your pussy.

"Nomas para ti Miguel." You murmur looking back at him and he moans and slams into you making you jump and whimper. (Just for you Miguel)

"H-holy fu- oh s-shit-!" you moan, your legs shaking already.

He grabs onto your hips and starts fucking you faster already not letting you adjust at all. You moan and roll your eyes back. He's moaning and groaning the room filled with the sound of skin to skin, his body against yours. "Migue-" you moan out and lay your head against the bed.

"Fuck baby- god you feel so much better than I thought you would." He says making you whimper and clench cashing him to moan.

"Fuck- oh fuck you're so tight around me baby-"

His words just do something to your body and you're already feel all dazed and obsessed with him fucking you. So many months of fantasizing and now it's finally happening. He's pounding into you and smacking your ass leaving it red. "Miguel deeper plea-"

He cuts you off by fucking you deeper making you both moan and making you clench around him again as well as whine. "O-oh fuck- oh Miguel I'm-"

"Me too baby, fuck I wanna cum inside you-" he moans out and you clench again making him go faster.

He's pounding into you and you feel your orgasm come fast. He moans with every trust he makes and it's driving you insane. Your arch is no longer an arch as your legs were slowly giving up on you but that didn't stop Miguel from still fucking you hard and also leaning down to you his mouth to your ear, and whispering dirty things to you. "Así soñabas que te cogiera nena? Eh? Quisiste esto desde que me viste huh? Yo se que yo si, mmm desde que v-veniste el primer día." (Is this how you dreamed I'd fuck you baby girl? You've wanted this since you first saw me huh? I know I did, mm since the first time you c-came.)

Your eyes rolls back and you whimper, "fuck- yes- fuck I dreamt you'd fuck me like this every- every fucking night Miguel."

He goes back to his original position but he flips you around so you're on your back while he was still inside you. "I wanna look at your pretty face while I cum deep inside you."

You wrap your arms around his neck and bring him in for a kiss. It's instantly needy and desperate, his tongue in your mouth and yours trying to go into his, with his pace still going strong. "P-pleas-"

He goes a bit slower and he moans in your mouth. Your hands go to his back light digging your nails into his skin which makes him groan. He fucks you deeper again unexpectedly so your nails dig into his skin a little harder and you feel close. "M-Miguel- I'm so- fu- I'm so clo-"

He pulls away him your mouth and nods, "me too angel- cum with me."

You moan and wrap your legs around his legs and it feels even bigger inside you. You both moan together and his legs start shaking. You're feeling tired fast but you need to cum with him. Your eyes are closing as you're ready for him to cum inside you to sleep together. You both start shaking as you clench around him and he groans finally shooting his cum inside you and your orgasm takes over, your legs shaking as he stops. You're both panting in each others face when he goes all the way inside you making sure every inch of you is covered. He slowly pulls out and all his cum spills out. "Jesus fuck Y/n- holy- god that pussy worked fucking wonders."

You shake and just nod before closing your eyes and losing consciousness. "Goodnight love."

#miguel ohara #Miguel O’Hara #Miguel o hara #atsv miguel #across the spiderverse #spiderman 2099 #miguel ohara imagine #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara oneshot #Miguel O’Hara smut #miguel ohara x y/n #miguel ohara smut #miguel ohara fic #miguel ohara x you

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loveharlow · 7 months ago

Note

aftercare with jj. thats it.

AFTERCARE W/ JJ

mentions of smut, 18+

•° definitely not the most romantic thing ever, but still cute in JJ's own way...

•° makes sure he has a towel or something on hand to wipe you off, especially after the time you didn't and your thighs were practically glued together

•° will personally wipe the sweat from your face because he knows how much you hate the feeling of it dripping down after all the adrenaline and shit has worn off

•° he loves to cuddle, as do you, but he likes to cuddle immediately after and that's a no-go

"jj, let go, i have to pee."

"mmm, you can pee when we wake up..."

"no, i can't. i'll get a uti."

"what're you tryna say? i'm clean."

"that's not..."

•° so then he googles what a uti is and is like "ooohhh", so he starts carrying you to the bathroom right after from then on

•° and while you pee, he goes to get the drinks he put in the fridge before you came over (a beer for him and a water for you)

•° as for the cuddling, it usually leads to the best post-sex sleep of your life

•° mainly because you both pass a joint until it's gone

•° laying butt naked in each other's arms, talking about nothing

"i didn't hurt you, did i?"

"no, not really."

"what do you mean 'not really'?"

"it's like a good kind of pain."

"hm, i see...your moans sound really nice."

•° and if he does hurt you, he's so sweet about it

•° he'll cradle you like a baby and kiss the spot, it's so cute

•° he'll also make sure the moments after go interrupted

•° like in the moment, he doesn't care to lock the door. the pogues have seen more of the two of you than they'd care to mention.

•° but afterwards, he wants to make sure that his baby gets her rest without any interruptions or someone barging in

•° so he locks the door, puts music on and turns it up loud enough so you can't hear the chatter outside, makes sure you fall asleep before he does, adjusts the blanket just how you like it so that you aren't too hot or too cold

•° he looooves to watch you sleep as long as he can before he's dozing off

•° you just look to at peace and adorable and he wants to commit the image to memory forever

©loveharlow.

heads up: i added emoji anons to my blog, so feel free to send an ask to take one if you frequently send in asks!

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yinyangyandere · 7 months ago

Text

ll Yandere Anxiety HCs 🧡

[SPOILERS FOR INSIDE OUT 2]

Synopsis; A long list of headcanons on how I think Anxiety would be like as a yandere, as well as somewhat of a fanfic

ll Caution: General Yandere Mindset, Mental Manipulation, Betrayal, Obsessive/Possessive Behaviors, Bad Ending, Possible OOC Writing

A.N.; Not me literally writing a 9-page Google HC Doc yandere scenario for an emotion jfnjrndjnredj3j3er But seriously, I love Anxiety so much. I felt like she had a good deal of nuance to her character, in-between her wanting to help Riley for the future with good intentions in mind, but executing it poorly. Should go without saying she’s probably my fave in the franchise, and one of my fave Disney characters now.

At the same time, I noticed a lot of her behavior could potentially be ripe for a depiction where she wanted to protect Riley SO much that she’d do anything for her. Eventually, that led to me making this; it should be noted that you are not Riley in this though. It’s intended to be a what-if situation, if OG Anxiety displayed yandere-typical behavior and was inside your head instead. Hope that makes sense.

Anyways, make sure to acknowledge the warnings before reading further! If any of the above topics make you feel even a bit uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to look out for yourself and click off. Your mental health is important!

If anyone needs anything additional tagged, I’ll do so and edit the post with the added warning. Other than that, I hope you enjoy!

----

First things first, I’m so sorry for you; imagine having a yandere that exists solely in your head, and no matter how hard you try to get rid of them, they’ll always be there. They exist as essentially a part of you, and removal of such things is far from easy. Especially so if that yandere in question is a personification of an emotion, which leads me to your lovesick “headmate” today: Anxiety.

🧡 ll Start:

She first showed up when you first began your puberty, similarly to Riley’s Anxiety from the movie. Like the others, she adores you and only wishes for the best when it comes to you. But all the while, the love Anxiety felt for you was growing more and more with each passing day, much more exponentially than what the other emotions in HQ felt.

Unconsciously, she slips her way into becoming the lead emotion, making you become an overall cautious individual as a whole. The others mostly disapproved of this, but they still went along with what Anxiety had in store for you since she could be pretty good at persuading everyone else into what she wanted.

Anxiety would, of course, step back so the rest can help you when needed, but as time went on, the other emotions needed to be more insistent on getting Anxiety to back down from the Control Panel. It had gotten to the point where Anxiety was basically piloting you for nearly the entire day without any of their input!

However, an awful pit in her stomach grew as well. Anxiety couldn’t help but squeeze her criss-crossed arms together as she observed your Joy manipulate the panel. ‘You were doing just fine with me in control!’ Anxiety couldn’t help but think to herself. ‘There’s no reason why I needed to step down!’

This feeling, this thought, persisted through multiple days and weeks. All the while, scenarios of you having a bad future because one of them made a mistake replayed on loop inside the girl’s head. She could’ve stepped in and stopped them, making sure you were safe, but she didn’t! She wouldn’t ever be able to forgive herself if she couldn’t protect you!

Anxiety, while she disliked these feelings, grew into someone who didn’t talk much to the others. She became antisocial, only focusing on tending to you and ensuring both your safety and happiness.

Sleepless nights and jealousy-filled days passed, and her obsession towards you never waned in the slightest. It grew, larger and more present, until it encompassed her entire life in her eyes. Anxiety lay awake one night, eyes wide open and staring up at the ceiling. Her mind just wouldn’t stop racing, thinking of you and how she could help you so much more if she was more in-control of things around here.

…Wait. Maybe…if she was more in-control…the sole emotion to take care of the Control Panel…

That idea persisted inside her head for days on end. She didn’t talk to the others during this time, refusing to answer their questions on why she was acting so weird and off recently. They wouldn’t understand. They’re your emotions, yeah, but Anxiety was your main one! She was the one who made sure you’d be protected in any situation!

Finally, it all came to a head when your Joy pointed out how obsessive Anxiety has been over you. The others agreed with Joy, and seeing everyone else loom over her with those questioning looks of theirs made Anxiety feel trapped. In an uncharacteristic act of rage from her, Anxiety shouted back at them, yelling that they would never be able to understand how she’d feel and that she was the only person there who truly cares for you. She stormed off before anyone else could retort back.

When she came back, in the middle of the night, she wasn’t alone. Alongside her was the Mind Police; she was able to convince them that the emotions there were actually rogue secrets and that the real ones are missing. Anxiety watched silently, fidgeting, unable to stop the slight guilt in her heart as she watched her former friends be pulled away and be stuck inside the Vault. ‘It’s for you,’ Anxiety reassured herself, talking about…well, about you. ‘Everything I’m doing is for you.’

It was weird at first, adjusting to being the only emotion left inside H Q, but she got the hang of it pretty quickly. Since, as the days ticked onwards, Anxiety swooned over you, sometimes talking to you as if you’d be able to respond back to her. Finally, she had you all to herself, and she’ll guarantee that she’d be able to keep you from harm’s reach while being able to bask in all of you.

🧡 ll Further Descent:

Boy, if you thought Anxiety had gone off the deep-end before, she certainly has now. Her days and nights are completely consumed by you. HQ is absolutely covered in drawings and little origami depictions of both you and her (and, while she’d often blush while doing it, she also enjoyed treating them like dolls and making them give little kisses to one another). Interspruced with all of that is her written ramblings, and it felt like that the further you went down in her notes, the more fanatical it became.

Sometimes, she’d have small sparks of self-awareness. Anxiety will clean up HQ and tidy it, all while reminiscing on her love for you. These small moments of clarity will give her twinges of regret and doubt, but she’d push them all in the back of her mind in the end. After all, it’s for the greater good. She’d assure herself that she really was the only person who could truly be able to acknowledge everything about you until that assurance soon became a truth in her eyes. A stone-cold, unrelenting truth.

Meanwhile, you’d become much more nervous, “unstable” in some cases. Nowadays, you feel too apprehensive about going outside, quitting your in-person job in favor of an online or at-home one. Groceries are delivered to your door-step, and appointments you need to go to, like for a check-up or surgery, are done with great reluctance. After, you immediately rush back to the safety of your abode.

When it comes to social interactions, Anxiety also makes sure that, while you’d have friends, they wouldn’t get too close to you. She can’t have them hurting you, physically or emotionally! Though, deep down inside of her, Anxiety does feel a hint of possessiveness towards you, but it mostly comes out as her afraid for your well-being.

Crushes definitely are a no-go. Any attempts on trying to get closer to a love interest you may have is completely out of the question in the eyes of Anxiety. She’ll break the button that makes you feel socially-awkward if she has to.

Anxiety notices soon enough that your feelings of loneliness are increasing rapidly, and attempting to brainstorm an idea where both of you could be happy, a lightbulb goes off in her head.

She goes down to the studio where they produce your dreams, and through some sly convincing and surprising ability to help sway others to what she wants, Anxiety is able to control your dreams with full access. Now, she hopes that her plan will work.

🧡 ll Meeting You in Person:

Well, in-person is in very large quotation marks, but it’s the closest thing she can get to doing such a thing.

After making sure everything was in working order and looked good, Anxiety waited for night to come and for when it was finally time to reveal herself to you. The studio, while it mostly worked with actors, also had the option of summoning your consciousness in a tangible form; how else did you think those falling dreams would cause you to wake up violently right as you hit the ground? Though, Anxiety was using it for a much, much different purpose now.

She sweated bullets while she waited, stimming in both excitement and worry on how you’d react to her. Anxiety suddenly stood still when your eyes finally shut, signifying that it was time to enact her plan.

Pressing various buttons and switches, she grinned as the thing shuttered and spat out smoke before shooting a project of light from the machine’s camera. It morphed, taking form, until you were finally there right in front of Anxiety. You blinked, confused, before turning to the delighted squeak you heard.

You nearly barrelled over as you felt a sudden force of weight being flung right around your torso, and as you looked down through the wild forest of orange hair that somewhat covered your vision, you saw Anxiety tightly wrapped around you in a hug. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, and her smile beamed wider as she snuggled into you just a bit more.

“I…I finally get to see you,” you heard her mumble. “I never thought I would, but…here you are! With me!”

You gave her a confused expression, unsure of how to react. “I’m sorry, but, uh, do I know you?”

Anxiety’s eyes snapped open, tears wiped away in a flash, as she glanced up at you and immediately backed off. “O-oh, oh my gosh! I’m so, so sorry; that was so dumb of me, ugh!” She muttered the last part under her breath.

What follows is what you’d expect: she explains to you that she’s your personification of Anxiety, but makes sure to add that she only steps in to prevent you from making possible bad decisions. At least, that’s partially true. Then, she gives you a small tour of the place, deciding to give you a tour of HQ another day (when she doesn’t have your face plastered all over the walls…). After, she insists to you that she’d do anything for you. Figuring that this was all a dream, you simply ask her for some levity from your struggles in reality. In short, you two have fun.

Anxiety is extremely reluctant to allow you to go, but she figures that it would be too suspicious and off-putting if she begged you to stay. When you awake, you just figure that it was some sort of strange lucid dream before going about your day.

So, it surprises you when you see Anxiety again the next night…and the next…and the next…and the next. Around the third time, you realize this is abnormal and start feeling uncomfortable around Anxiety. She notices, and asks you about it. You just wave it off, saying you’re a bit nervous for work tomorrow. Anxiety’s very doubtful, but she goes with it.

However, when she shows up again on the fourth night, you’ve had enough. You’re creeped out with her, and explain to a now very concerned Anxiety that she can’t be real. “I am!” She retorts back. “But-but that isn’t a bad thing! That just means you can talk to me if you have anything troubling you! Please, don’t run! I’m not going to hurt you!”

Even though you did, in fact, run away from her that night, she just showed right back up again the next. What then happened was a repetitive cycle of you running away from Anxiety as she tries to explain her side of the story, waking up, and then going right back to Stage 1. You ask your doctors for a higher dosage of anxiety medication in hopes it would quell what you perceived as delusions. But no matter what you tried, no matter what medicine you took, Anxiety will always be the first thing you “wake” up to.

It had maybe been almost two weeks when you finally relented. Anxiety, however, seemed a bit snarky. “So, have you finally run all out-of-steam? Can I finally get to tell you what’s going on?!”

It took you a few seconds to reply. “...Yeah. Go ahead.”

She let out a sigh of relief, before she explained more on why she’s being so persistent with you. She figured that, since your life wasn’t the best at the moment, Anxiety would help give you some escapism during the night as a relief. While you still felt a bit off-put by one of your emotions continuously showing up in your dreams, and of all of them it’s the Anxiety one, her reasoning did give you some respite. She made sure she didn’t slip that she just really wanted to spend time with you too, though.

It took you a little while to warm up to both the idea and her again, but after some time, you started to enjoy your little adventures with Anxiety. She was funny, sweet, kind, and had all the same interests as you did. She became your best friend, but in Anxiety’s eyes, you two were already in a relationship.

Every time you awoke, she did a little happy dance at the progress being made. Heck, she even had a checklist full of things to make certain you’d fall for her in return. Anxiety was not going to allow herself to destroy your bond together with her. At this point, her whole life really is about you. She loves you so, so much and every day she gets more exhilarated at getting closer to the stage where she’d ask you the question.

Months pass on, and it’s now around the end of the year. She decided to give you a little celebration, convincing the workers below to set off fireworks outside. HQ was decked out in festive decorations, illuminated by the glow of the bright flashes of light outside. When Anxiety sees your gorgeous face lit up by the colors set off from the other side of the window, her heart thumps louder in her chest, almost to an audible level. Her breath is caught in her mouth, but shaking off the stunned reaction she has towards you, Anxiety figures now would be a good time as ever to ask you: do you love her as much as she loves you?

✨🧡 ll Yes:

“Well…ah, it’s a bit weird to be dating one of my emotions…”

Anxiety’s wide-eyed face immediately turns down on itself, pupils shrinking and a frown making itself very well-known on her face. No, no! You can’t-!

“...Ah, why not? Sure!”

I hope you’re stanced up because if not, you will be thrown to the ground in another one of Anxiety’s tight hugs. She keeps on letting out happy squeals, unable to contain her absolute joy at your response. You laugh at how cute she was, returning her hug. She smiles even wider at that.

“I love you, I love you, I love youIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouILOVEYOU!” Anxiety repeated, her tongue twisting near the end making her almost unable to be understood until her final declaration of love. You giggle, and at this her green eyes open up and twinkle at you, a smile spread wider across her face than ever before.

“I love you too.”

While Anxiety never truly does let go of her obsessive tendencies towards you, they do somewhat lax now that she knows you love her back. Her mind sometimes wanders to the other emotions locked up in the Vault, and now on her off-days, she actually goes and visits them, talking to them through the cell. Of course, they’re pissed off at her, but she just can’t stop gushing about you and how much you love her back. Anxiety is too lovestruck to notice the gagging coming from Ennui, Anger, and Disgust inside whenever she goes on another long spiel about how your kisses feel or the flower you gave to her the other day.

Speaking of gifts, while she loves to talk to you about your interests and hyperfixations, Anxiety’s personal go-to love language will always be presents. Whatever you want, she’ll make it happen in the dream.

If you had a bad day too, Anxiety will do double-duty to make sure you wake up feeling ten times better than what you felt like going to bed!

As you grow older, Anxiety reflects back on how when you pass away, so will all of them. But while she still frets over it, there’s also the reassuring thought that she may be a human in the next life alongside you. So, instead of being inside your head, Anxiety will get to live out in the real-world right beside you. But as long as she’s with you, any future is great to her.

Overall, Anxiety feels like a weight that’s been on her since her very inception has finally been lifted. She’s much more relaxed and allows you to go out more as long as you don’t cheat on her. Thankfully, you never do, and she couldn’t be more than grateful.

Life was finally good for her, and she couldn’t be any happier.

💔 ll No:

You smiled awkwardly down at her, the tension in the room suddenly becoming more palpable to you. “I-uh, what?”

Anxiety’s grin falters. “Do you love me?” She repeats.

Your smile becomes a frown, and so does her’s. “I’m…I’m going to be honest with you, Anxiety. I love being your friend. But if you’re asking if we should date, I just can’t accept.”

Immediately, Anxiety shouts out. “WHY NOT?!” Panic is written all over her face, chest heaving in a faulty attempt to calm herself down.

You flinch back from her, suddenly unsure of what to do. “It’s just-I-I don’t know!” You replied back. “You’re literally an emotion! Something my mind made up! You’re not real!”

Those last words hurt her worse than any knife ever could. “You-you don’t mean that! I know you don’t! We’re supposed to be happy together! I did everything for you! So please just love me! LOVE ME!”

You took a few steps back, unknowingly bumping into an ajar closet. When you turn around, you gape in abject horror.

Thousands of drawings and art crafts of you, reciprocating Anxiety’s adoration, filled your sight. You turned down to a sheet of paper that innocently slid to your feet.

‘I got rid of the others. I hated to, but they’d never be able to understand how I felt towards them. They were in the way. But now, we can be together forever! I can’t wait!’

Oh toaster strudels.

You whip back around to face Anxiety, fear evident on your face. She looked just as stunned as you, her green eyes prickling with tears as she shook her head. “I-I promise,” she tried to explain. “I didn’t think it would ever go this far. But I need you to love me back. I NEED YOU!”

Fast on your feet, you’re barely able to dodge Anxiety’s attempt at grabbing you, and without thinking, you go towards the window. You need to get out of this dream, A.S.A.P.

“NO! DON’T-” Too late.

As you fell, wind sweeping through your hair, you turned to gaze up at the window. The last you saw before you jolted awake was the speck of orange looking out the broken window, crying her eyes out and sobbing to herself.

Afterwards, you refused to fall asleep. You chugged energy drinks, made sure to take your anxiety medication every day, watched horror movies so you felt too scared, turned up your home’s lights, anything to make sure you wouldn’t go to sleep and see Anxiety again.

But in turn, you felt your own anxiety levels rising. You felt an irrational, unstoppable fear of attending to your job, jumped at every little creak in the house, the unexplainable drowsiness present in your fits of worry, you all knew it was the work of Anxiety to get you to go back to sleep and see her again.

Of course, you couldn’t stay awake forever. It happened one day when you did your best to explain to your boss why you haven’t been going to work. Your voice was slurred, giving away your sleepiness, and your boss on the other end worryingly called out to you as both your phone and your body landed on the cold floor.

🧡💔 ll Nice to See You Again:

You woke up on top of a comfortable bed, and while you were coming to, you noticed the rope wrapped tightly around you. A bandana had been wrapped around your mouth as well to make sure you didn’t make a peep.

At the foot of the bed, was Anxiety. She looked much more worn-out, eyebags present and hair an absolute mess. She was fiddling around with a clipboard at first, but as her eyes glanced at you for a moment, she realized you finally came to.

“Oh! Hey, didn’t notice you were awake there!” She ignored the cries of protests coming from you. She laughed, her loss of sanity being noted in her giggles. “I guess you always were a heavy sleeper!” You didn’t laugh back.

She got closer to you, any talk you had with her about personal space thrown out the (now repaired) window. Her eyes were bloodshot, like she hadn’t slept either. “I mean, it makes sense. You were awake for a really long time out there. In fact, you didn’t sleep for four whole days! Can I ask why that is?”

You glared at her. She huffed. “Ooooh, I think I know what it is,” she muttered. “I bet you didn’t want to get nightmares. Well, it’s okay now! Your girlfriend here, Anxiety, will make sure you have only good dreams from now on!” She puffed out her chest. You didn’t know if she was mocking you or genuinely deluded into thinking that was the truth.

You uncomfortably shifted as she crawled to the other side of you, wrapping her arms around your bound form despite your discomfort. “I’ve been so, so alone these past few days. I missed you, I missed you so bad. But now, you’re back! With me! I can’t wait for what adventures you have planned for the both of us.” That final note in her voice, that seemed to almost hiss out, gave you a sense of fear. You were too scared to fight back or even move, just allowing Anxiety to make up four day’s worth of no hugs.

“I promise that I’ll be the best girlfriend you could ever ask for. No other person knows you like I do. Nobody.”

Should I even have to explain to you that your two’s relationship is toxic now? Because it is. Like, hazardous waste-type of toxic.

In her deluded mind, Anxiety fully believes that you just ran through that window because you were scared of the commitment, and that you just responded no to her love request because of the same reason. In time, she thinks she’ll be able to win you over, and considering how you can’t really get rid of her, you’re unfortunately stuck with her.

When you eventually did wake up, you found yourself in a hospital room, alone. At least, physically. You couldn’t help the onslaught of hopeless tears that trickled down your face.

In the background, Anxiety was fiddling with your feelings, not thinking about your own desires on the matter. She smiled, chuckling, when she found what she was looking for, hidden deep within the recesses of your hypothalamus: the control center that managed who you found romantically appealing.

She was smart about it, though. Despite wanting to just crank it all the way up, she gradually made it so you found her more alluring without you even noticing the changes.

You were immensely terrified of her at first, discouraging her, but as she set your romantic feelings towards her higher slowly, Anxiety noticed the change you had in your demeanor.

Eventually, she was comfortable in allowing you to finally be untied (she had undone the makeshift gag a little bit ago), and while she was a bit disappointed at still seeing you be uncomfortable around her and shying away, that just made Anxiety more determined to get you to fall in love with her.

Was doing all of this morally wrong and cementing her fully into the deep-end? Yes.

But did she truly care about that currently? No.

She can think about the moral dilemma years down the line when you two are fully reciprocating love towards one another.

Anxiety accidentally let out an excited snort at you finally hugging her once again. She clasped her hands over her mouth, blushing right after. You found it to be…weirdly cute.

Eventually, your romantic feelings were almost at 100%. As time passed on, your life became better as you started to reflect that same strange comforting feeling Anxiety felt towards you.

You felt inclined to question why you were getting these emotions for your mental stalker, but any attempt to further examine this is usually quashed thanks to Anxiety’s interference. Soon, you don’t even get these questions anymore. They just feel like they come naturally to you.

Those same reactions Anxiety had towards you were now being felt by you, except obviously with her. Shy gazes at her cute orange hair before looking away when she goes to return your look, fully enraptured in her kind voice and nodding along to whatever she said, blushing whenever you were complimented by her, the list goes on.

The fact that she did awful things almost seems to become a distant memory to you, until much later on, it becomes completely forgotten in your eyes.

Eventually, it came to a head. One night, when the two of you were alone, you tapped her on the shoulder. You smiled at her, blush clearly evident on your face as you awkwardly rubbed the back of your neck.

“H-hey, uh, Anxiety? Can I ask you something kinda’...important? Promise not to freak out or anything, okay?”

Anxiety nodded violently. “Yeah!! Yeah, tell me anything!” She leaned in closer, eyes trained fully on you. Her hands were rolled up into fists, vibrating slightly in barely-disguised eagerness. After a bit of stammering, you finally were able to lock eyes with each other.

“Do you, um…want to go out with me-?”

“YES!! YES!!!” Anxiety jumped to respond, flapping her hands happily as she raced around the room. You laughed, before abruptly getting stopped by the kiss that Anxiety had placed on your lips. Both of you looked stunned for only a brief moment, before you happily returned it.

If emotions had brains, Anxiety was sure it short-circuited at that moment.

Finally relinquishing, you stepped back, only to lunge forward when you caught her about to fall right on her back.

“Woah, Anxiety, are you okay?” You chuckled. Anxiety looked up at you with a tired, but completely and utterly smitten look on her face.

“Never been better.”

Things were definitely better now. Much like if you said yes to her original proposal, she gives you more freedom in exchange for always being beside her when you’re dreaming. You happily accept, none the wiser of the manipulation Anxiety pulled to get to this moment.

She sometimes reflects on her actions, knowing full-well what she did was completely, morally-reprehensible. But at a certain point, Anxiety just sighs and puts it into the very back of her brain.

Yes, what she did was absolutely wrong. But, when she looks at you, finally head-over-heels for her as much as she is with you, Anxiety really can’t help but smile.

“I really am sorry, guys, but it was all worth it in the end.”

#ask to tag #long post #yandere tw #yandere disney #yandere pixar #yandere #yandere headcanons #anxiety inside out #anxiety io2 #inside out #inside out 2 #inside out headcanons #dark tw #manipulation tw

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aauroraxia · 7 months ago

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⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠

*:･ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏

sypnosis: y/n finds out she’s pregnant and doesn’t know how to tell Armando or her team | warnings: none | pairings: Armando x reader | Authors note: finally wrote part one! Might write part two later it just depends |

“𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 y/n!” Kelly begged for the 5th time. Her and Rita were going to this party and they really wanted you to go.

You loved parties and never declined an invite to one but, today you just weren’t feeling up to it.

You had been feeling sick for a few days now so you were taking a leave from work, not wanting to pass anything to anyone.

Your boyfriend, Armando, offered to stay home with you but you didn’t let him, he shouldn’t have to stop working just because you caught some stupid bug.

“Fine if you’re not going neither are we.” Kelly said, plopping down on your couch, crossing her arms.

“Yeah, we can just stay here with you. That’s more fun than any party.” Rita added on.

You smiled, wondering how did you get so lucky to have amazing friends. “Thank you, guys.”

About 4 Vampire Diaries episodes later, you ran to the bathroom, rushing to the toilet, throwing up.

“God, what is wrong with me?” You said looking at yourself in the mirror.

Once you got back to your living room, where Rita and Kelly were, you told them about what just happened. They decided that you should Google your symptoms, to help find out what’s wrong.

So you opened your laptop and started googling.

All the results looked like:

___________________________________

‘What are the symptoms for pregnancy’

‘How to know if you’re pregnant’

‘Pregnancy sickness’

___________________________________

‘I can’t be pregnant’ you thought.

“Can you guys come here for a second!” You yelled to Rita and Kelly. They walked over and you turned your computer to face them.

Kelly looked at you “Well, are you? You know.. pregnant?”

“I don’t know, I don’t think so.. it doesn’t make since.”

Rita rubbed your back, “Well let’s go buy some tests before we make any conclusions.” She reassured you.

You sighed thinking, how could you be pregnant, and if you were how would you tell Armando, but you calmed yourself down. The test could comeback negative after all.

Well that didn’t last long, you took 5 tests and they all came back positive. You slid down the wall in your bathroom, hugging your knees, sobbing.

‘How can I be pregnant’

‘I thought we were always being safe’

‘What do I tell Armando’

‘How will I work’

‘How do I take care of a baby’

You were pulled out of your overwhelming thoughts when Rita and Kelly walked in the bathroom. Immediately sitting down next to you, hugging you.

“What will I tell Armando. He didn’t want children right now.” You said in between sobs, breathing heavily.

Rita and Kelly looked at each other sympathetically. Armando wasn’t a open book, especially not around them. They couldn’t assure you or tell you how he would react, so they just comforted you before he got home.

𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑 Kelly and Rita left you sat on your couch, knowing Armando would be home, any minute now. You heard the door creaked open, incoming your boyfriend with blood splattered on his arms.

“Hey babe.” You said running to him, placing a soft kiss in his cheek.

“Hola mamá” He replied.

You tried to avoid lookin into his eyes, you knew if he looked at you long enough he’d be able to tell you’d been crying. So instead you just pulled his arm leading him into y’all’s bedroom.

You left him there while you went to get a damp towel, to clean the blood off him.

“¿Qué ocurre?” He asked, using his thumb to make you look at him.

“What makes you think something’s wrong?”

“You only avoid looking at me when something’s wrong.”

Damn he knew you good

You knew that if you tried to tell him you would start crying so you just got the test out of the bathroom and handed it to him.

He looked at you with a expression, you couldn’t tell if he was mad or happy “You’re…”

“Pregnant.. yeah. Are you mad?” You asked looking down, playing with your fingers.

“Por supuesto que no, solo sorprendido.”

He took your hands and kissed your knuckles. “¿Tenías miedo de decírmelo?”

“Well yeah.. we talked about having kids at a later- much later time. I didn’t know what you were gonna say.” You said sheepishly

“I know this isn’t what we planned but, I still wanna spend the rest of my life with you, and now our child.” He assured you.

You ran to him, tackling him on the bed, leaving pecks all over his face. How could you ever think he would be upset with.

“Wait- we have to tell the team and your dad.”

“Do we have to?” He asked walking away from the bed.

“Well yeah, they’re gonna wonder why I’m taking an extended leave from work.”

“¿P or qué? Digámosles que volaste a otro país.”

A pillow was then thrown at his head.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 next day, you asked for Marcus, Mike, Rita, Kelly, Dorn and Rafe to meet you at Marcus’ house because you had something to tell them.

After you got there and everyone was chill, you decided to tell them.

Affer all eyes were on you, you took a deep breath in. “So, I’ve decided to take an extended leave of absence from work.”

“Why, is everything alright” Dorn asked.

“Yeah, it’s just.. I’m pregnant.”

Heads were turned and gasps were made.

Everyone came up to you hugging you. Armando stood in the corner with his arms crossed.

“We’re having a A.M.M.O baby!” Kelly shouted making everyone laugh.

Mike walked to his son, patting him on the back.

“Mike! You’re gonna be a grandad.” Marcus said laughing at Mike.

Mike ran his hand down his face, “Damn.”

After everyone settled down, Marcus started “Wait, that means if Y/N is pregnant, that means her and Armando been fuc-“

“MARCUS!” Everyone shouted while you buried your face in your hands.

“Man, this is fucked up“ Marcus said walking away.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ | 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬:

¿P or qué? Digámosles que volaste a otro país - Why? Let’s just tell them you flew to another country.

¿Qué ocurre? - What’s wrong?

“Por supuesto que no, solo sorprendido - Of course not just suprised

¿Tenías miedo de decírmelo? - So that’s what’s wrong

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬, 𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 ’🩷’ 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @armandosbabymama @atomicfriendfestivalbiscuit @yeahnohoneybye @madi05sblog

#armando aretas #bad boys #jacob scipio #aauroraxia

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thedeafprophet · 17 days ago

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Prophet's Tip For Historical Fashion Reference Finding

Say you're into a Brand New Historical Fandom, or researching something for a project, or even just endlessly curious about what is worn in the past. You set out to look for reference images, type in victorian fashion into a search bar on google and you get...

this.

A wide range of various different fashions, unpinpointed to specific eras, intermingled with AI garbage. Not exactly the most useful, now is it?

Fret not, for I have some advice for how I, Prophet, go about searching for historical references, that may or may not be useful to you. Keep in mind, this is simply some ways i go about it and not a definitive how to, and also that it will be primarily focusing on western fashion for this guide in specific....

Shall we? Tips under the cut if you're so inclined. I will warn you, it is fairly long.

1.Know What You're Looking For

By this I mean, try to know what you want to find from the beginning. There's so much out there in historical fashion, that trying to go into it all at once is like looking for a specific drop of water in the ocean.

Have a specific subject in mind, even if its just "evening dress worn to an 1860s ball" or "green dress from the 1890s" or 'fashion plates from this specific location and era", or even just "evening gowns". Knowing what you want to find before you start looking is imperitive

If you're brand new to historical fashion, you may not know what any of these terms mean. Here, id suggest looking for a basic overview of clothing. Often information can be found by searching "time period" + "location" + "fashion terms". This is where im really gonna suggest starting small - stick to a specific era and place, or its gonna get overwhelming very quickly.

To get you started, Here is a good tumblr post on different types of 1890s dresses, here is victorian fashion terms A ~ M, and this youtube video on "Victorian Fashion Is Not What You Think" + "1920s Fashion Is Not What You Think"

Its also important to keep in mind, as a general rule, the further back you go, the harder it will be to find information. Theres much more retained contents from say, the 1910s then there is for say, the 1700s, simply because of a) what information was put out and b) the difference in the amount of time passing. That isnt to say there isn't an equal amount of information of both, its simply a matter of what records survived and where.

2. Be Specific - Pick A Year, A Style, A Place, etc.

Its all well and good to say you want an evening gown, for example, but just searching 'victorian evening gown' can still lead to a mix of results and costumes

Lets refine our search. Lets look for an evening gown from 1901.

Thats a little more direct now isn't it? How about if we add green.

And there we go! Obviously, we still got that one clearly not what we're looking for at the and there, but as it stands, theres some very lovely looking dress references avaiable for our needs. Adding the term 'fashion plate' can specify us further to fashion plates at the time

These searches also bring us to further websites, which leads me to my next comment

3. Know Where To Look

Using google is all well and good, but quite evidently, still wont always give us the best look through. Especially these days with the rise of unfiltered AI content heavily messing up searches. There are ways to cirumcvent that, but its never been ideal.

There's a most obvious place of where to look: Museums. Obviously going directly to whats on show in places isnt accessible to many, but a lot of museums have online archives of their records availible for purusing. For example, the Victoria and Albert Museum has a very a searchable online catalog.

Here i can search for fashion plates, and then specify a time period. The advice i gave earlier still applies, but searching will be different depending on the site you're using.

I highly recommend looking through what various museums have avaiable online, especially since many will also have written up information on the items you are looking at.

In terms of other places to get you started, heres a link to the page with all of The Mets fashion plates by year.

And while I would normally never recommend Pinterest as a main source for images, here is actually a rare occasion that I would. For one, objects that are this old are generally all public domain anyways, and two, some images are from auctions and private collections, things that were uploaded once and never seen again. Some images on pinterest may only exist there now, with how easy it is for things to be lost. Many people have also taken the time already to comb through old magazines and uploaded images onto there too in collections/pinterest boards.

speaking of magazines...

4. Learn The Names of Historical Brands and Fashion Magazines

Capatalism was not invented yesterday, and those in the past were well on their way to starting things. Magazines and catalogs contained so many various advertisments, especially for that of clothing. Many of those magazines have been uploaded and can be found online to this day! Combing through and being able to find images directly from their sources is incredibly useful!

Examples of titles include The Delineator [American, some catalogs online can be found here and here] , La Mode Illustrée [ French, can be found here tho i do warn the site is in french lol] , La Moda Elegante [Spanish, can be found here and here]

This is just a few, there were many magazines around all with various years and styles. Many also have articles in them which can be a fascinating insight into what was being promoted at the time. [though of course, a warning for period related bigotries and questionable knowledge is always applicable when looking at old texts]

5. Take Your Time

There are a lot of different sources, a lot of different time periods, a lot of different locations and styles. It can be a lot.

Don't go into this expecting to know and have every single thing right away, and don't put pressure on yourself to get it all 100% accurate right away. Take your time, learn what you want to learn, and find what you want to find. Even I, with all my interest in it, am still constantly finding and learning new things.

A collection of references wont be built in one day. Take your time to find the images you like, to comb through sources and approach it in how you want to, and build it up step by step.

6. Don't Be Afraid To Look And Ask Around

I'm sure if you've been around, you'll notice a lot of blogs and pages dedicated to historical fashion. Many people are engaged and interested, and share and catalog their research online.

Look to historical costumers online, from youtube to tumblr and anywhere inbetween! Look at the historical costume blogs and comb through tags and what you want to find! So many people are interested in things, and theres community just in the images.

And if you have questions and want to learn more, don't be afraid to ask! From my experience, people love sharing their interests and sources and everything they've gathered. If you're looking for something specific, chances are, someone else might already know! I know i'm more than happy to share and help when asked ^^

Seriously. I have. a lot of images saved

If you read through this whole thing, I applaud you, and hope some of this information can be of some help! Feel free to ask any questions, and happy fashion hunting!!!

#woooo finally finished typing this up #dunno if thisll be helpful to anyone but this is basically what my approach is in general!#if theres any specific area or topic you'd like further explained feel free to ask!#^^#fashion #historical fashion

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stovetoast · 7 months ago

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pillow tpot headcanons (long ramble expanding on the ocd part under the cut)

ok so first warning: i am not a psychiatrist. this isnt a super educated essay on ocd, just me projecting my lived experience onto an object show character. this is just an observation. if i get something wrong feel free to correct me, ill add it here. (its also worth noting i am self diagnosed. not "quick google search" self dx though, ive gone over it with a therapist and everything)

and that leads into the second warning: this ramble will get a tad bit personal sorryyyy

and finally the third warning: i put she/it on the ref but im just using she/her for simplicity (+ i forgot LOL(

anyway so yeah i think that pillow has ocd and is basically the embodiment of "letting intrusive thoughts win" except like. actually. this headcanon didnt stem from the killing or the strange impulses though, i think she has it because of her fixation on good and bad luck in tpot 10.

for me it manifests in a few different ways. my main one is counting—i have good luck numbers and bad luck numbers. i need to take a specific number of snacks every time i have a bowl of them. i have to shake medicine bottles a certain amount of times before taking them. i am always counting the "syllables" of whatever im doing, and it always has to land on a multiple/factor of my lucky number. and if i break any of this, i (generally, if i cant convince myself its fine or if i dont notice) have to count to my lucky number otherwise something bad will happen. hell, i added more flags to this ref because the number of them was my unlucky number.

i have a few other things that affect it that are completely unrelated to counting, though. like a particularly bad one is that i straight up cant wear certain articles or clothing anymore because theyre bad luck. or my ungodly long night routine (which is probably more of an autism thing tbh. but certain parts of it are absolutely influenced by the ocd, like having to say goodnight to my dog).

that ^^ is what i saw in pillow. she was distraught that her team lost in 9, because not only did she think she was doing the challenge right, but killing people (bringing death) was good luck for her.

i think her killing people was a compulsion, and her whole thing in 10 was her scrambling to find a new one after that stopped working.

and before anyone tries to be all like "oh thats fucked up why would they portray ocd like that," one: i dont think this was on purpose this was just an observation, two: i mean..... fuck dude if i lived in a world where revival was incredibly accessible and one of my compulsions were to kill people, id do the same thing. death is fairly normal in bfdi, to the point everyone literally has a kill count on the fandom wiki (hers is 13 as of tpot 11 btw, a commonly unlucky number ironically enough. if she gets eliminated in 12 with an unlucky kill count thatd be so funny). once they get past the pain, its. really just an inconvenience to them.

when it comes to ocd, you. HAVE to do these things. its not a choice until you can get some outside help with it, and oftentimes its an inconvenience to those around you. i dont think its right for her to be going around killing her team, but when i get past the fact that is literally what made her my favorite, i get where shes coming from. shes trying to help in a way she "knows" will work.

or maybe shes just silly idk

#art #artists on tumblr #bfdi #bfb #tpot #battle for dream island #battle for bfdi #the power of two #pillow tpot #tpot pillow #bfdi pillow #pillow bfdi #bfb pillow #pillow bfb #bfdi tpot #object shows #object show community #soooo scared to post this

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certainlynotasimp · 2 years ago

Note

I had a thought seeing as how whipped Miguel is for sunny what if sunny has Miguel get them like a puppy or kitten because I know he would eventually cave in

To Love and Hold.

((Miguel O’ Hara X Female! Reader))

A/N: This man is whipped more than cream😭😭. Thank you for the request and I’m sorry if it sounds muddled because I literally fell asleep writing it and I just finished it this morning.

A/N: If you guys wanna read more about Sunny and Miggy then come on to the Masterlist! And if you wanna be added to the taglist, then please leave a comment here>><<. And thank you all for reading💕✨

Warnings: Grumpy x Sunshine, Barely any use of (Y/N) ((Sunny is their nickname, not there name)), Female Pronouns, Fluff, Comparing Babies to Pets ((please do not have a baby if you want a pet lol)), Baby talk, breeding kink? (This isn’t a smut, but I love giving Miggy ideas), slight nudity, and Google Translated Spanish (It was 3am by the time I wrote this and I felt bad for messaging people to double check this so please forgive any mistakes and correct me the in comments.)😭

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There are some things that always remain the same for every dimension. No matter how small or advanced that dimension may be, there were three things that Miguel can think of that always remains the same.

There’s always a Spiderman or Spiderwoman.

New York is still a cesspool for crime

….

“Miggy, come look at the kitties!” an excited shrill breaks the man out of his thoughts. He scowls at the unwanted attention around him as he readjusts the baseball hat on his dark locks. Not having his spider suit engaged was an odd feeling, especially since they were in an unknown dimension looking for an anomaly that not even Lyla can find.

“Come on, Guapito!” She urges as Miguel glares at her for yelling out in a public place. He tugs at the collar of his crew neck as he saunters over to the bouncing woman. Her pink sundress makes her standout like a sore thumb as she gawks at the group of kittens in the window.

There were three orange tabbies exploring their surroundings and tussling amongst their glass prison. He can agree that all of them looked adorable, but seeing as he was never an animal person, he doesn’t understand the cooing his companion does towards the cats.

“We can’t keep wasting time window shopping, mi amor.” He quietly scolds her as he gently leads her away from the pet shop and starts walking her down the sidewalk. His eyes burned as he looked at the pavement beside him until he felt a small tug to his shirt.

Already running though all the things that might come out of her pretty glossed mouth, Miguel sighs and looks at her. “What is it, shortie?” He tries to tease, hoping she would get annoyed enough to just give him the silent treatment.

“Miggy,” She sings sweetly, already the itching feeling started in Miguel’s brain.

‘What does she want?’

“I was thinking…” Her voice hesitated as he feels her arm slither it’s way around his waist. The hand on the small of her back tenses up as her touch ignited tingles down his back. “Since I’m the only person who lives at the Lobby and I can’t live with you…

Here it comes,

“Can I have a cat?” She flutters her eyelashes up at him as she presses herself into his side. Miguel tugs down his baseball cap as he rolls his eyes.

“No.” He answers sternly as he tries to avoid eye contact by looking around them. Miguel is as stubborn as a mule. If he decided on something, then there’s barely enough room for anyone to even breathe a different way about it.

He admits that when it comes to his little spider, he lets some things slide that he knew he shouldn’t have, but normally her requests were doable. Not this one.

“But, Miggy, why not?” She whines as she glares up at him.

“Can we talk about this later, Cariño?” He growls as he notices the atmosphere around them changing. Before she could protest anymore, her Spidey senses hit her like a shotgun.

“Watch out!” She warns as a cat gets throw over a row of buildings, heading right towards them. Miguel grabs her waist and leaps on top the nearest building as the car takes out the sidewalk.

Both put a pin in their conversation as they suit up and go detain the anomaly villain.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Another sticky note falls onto the floor beside his feet as Peter looks up to his colleague, amused by the antics he’s enduring.

For the past week, Sunny hasn’t let go of the idea of having a cat. Miguel tried envading her pleas at first, trying to distract her with other topics and missions to worry about. When she caught onto that, she confronted him about it. Much to his misery, he had to be brutally honest with her about why she can’t just bring a cat to come live with her in The Lobby.

“Taking something from another dimension is already risky enough, but to take a living animal could cause serious anomalies that will cause a crash.” He tried to explain with a stern stare as his love looks at him.

“Do you know for certain that it will happen?” She quips with her head tilting slightly. Miguel raises an eyebrow before replying, “I mean, considering if we are just talking about a normal cat, then no I’m not certain, but…”

“So let’s try it!” “Oh santa madre de Cristo... Mi amor, por favor sé razonable…”

Now her tactic has been subliminally suggesting him with hidden messages. He wasn’t surprise when Peter picked up the sticky note and sees a little doodle of a cat playing with a ball of yarn.

“Aww that’s cute.” Peter admires as he examines the note. “I can’t wait for Mayday to get old enough so she can draw me little doodles like this.”

Miguel snatches the sticky not from him and throws it on the small pile he’s accumulated. This might be Mr. kitty 11 or 12 that his Sunny has hidden in his suit today.

“(Y/N) has been hiding them on me hoping I would get her a cat.” He admits as he slumps into his office chair. Normally, he would act like it wasn’t bothering if it was anyone else making a stupid request. But it wasn’t just anyone. It was his beloved. His beloved who was so tired of spending nights here alone that she desperately wanted a companion.

“Why can’t you get her one?” Peter nonchalantly says as he leans against the monitor’s desk. “There’s plenty of strays around my apartment that she can have a full range to pick out of.”

Miguel scowls at Peter’s ignorance as leans back in his chair. “Any small change to a dimension can cause it to implode on itself. I’m not risking an entire universe just for one cat.”

Miguel digs his finger into his eyes as he groans in frustration. He hated making her upset, but she should understand just as well as he does what the possible consequences they would face if he did go pick up a random cat.

Peter watches at him in amusement before commenting. “Why not go get one from one of those dying universes? Certainly it wouldn’t cause too much damage if it’s already going to shit there.”

Miguel rolls his eyes as he looks at Peter in annoyance. “There’s still risk of-“

Peter claps his hands as an idea sparks in his mind. “Oh, I know, you two can have a baby!”

Miguel freezes in place as a look of pure horror goes over his face. His skin turned pale at the thought about having a child.

“Can’t risk the universe being brought to the end if you make a baby. Besides it would help her deal with her loneliness by constantly having someone to take care of and it would be a more fun to-“ Peter’s reasoning gets interrupted by the sound of Miguel opening a portal and jumping through as Peter smirks victoriously.

“Worked like a charm.” He chuckles as he knows he just made his friend one happy lady.

~~~~~~~~~

“Cariño?” A soft knock interrupts the deep slumber of the curled up spider as she stirs awake. She yawns as she looks over towards the clock and realizes it was the equivalent of 3am in Miguel’s home world.

Another knock draws her attention back to the visitor as she slips out of bed. Her body shivers as she exposed to the cold air of the room. The old college shirt only stopping at mid thighs as she shuffled to the door.

“Miggy?” She calls through the door.

“Déjame entrar, mi amor. Tengo un regalo para ti.” He pleas lovingly at her which causes her lips to curl into a soft smile as she realizes what he must have.

Opening the door, she gasps at the sight before her. In his spider suit, Miguel had several scratch marks along his face along with pieces of rubble in his dark locks. His dark eyes shined in exhaustion as the furious little ball of fur battled to be free from his hold.

Her concern briefly switches to awe as she sees a small, filthy kitten hissing and wiggling in Miguel’s large hands. Its long fur stuck out in clumps due to the debris covering it as its black and white fur looked gray. Its yellow eyes glares up at Miguel as it cries for its mother.

With a wide grin, the woman takes the small kitten from Miguel and holds it to her chest. The kitten stopped it’s hissing for a moment as it push itself off of her chest to look at her. A curious tilt of its head along with a soft hello causes a tear to roll down her cheek. The bundle of fur relaxes into her chest with soft purs emitting from its fragile body.

“Mi amor…” She whispers as she looks up at him, “Thank you so much…can I really keep it?”

“He doesn’t really have any other option. His world was dying due to some invasion caused by the Talokians and since the universe was crashing away, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to let you have the only survivor.” Miguel says nonchalantly as the conversation with Peter plays in his head again.

The idea of his little sunshine bare foot with swollen ankles as she roams around the Lobby and his apartment certainly was a conflicted vision. His clothing being the only thing that would fit over her body as she created their child in her body. Their child. Their family.

His thoughts get interrupted by the feeling of small hands dusting off debris off his shoulders. His eyes meet hers as he realizes that he’s been silent for a while. The kitten was now curled up on a soft looking blanket on the floor while his little spider tried to clean him up a little. Her soft lips connect several times to his jawline causing him to chuckle.

“You’re welcome, Cariño.” He mutters before leaning down and meeting her excited lips with his own. She giggles when he wraps his arms around her waist and picks her up as he closes the door behind him.

“Now then.” Miguel muses as his mouth curls into a warm grin while walking them to the bed. “You can show your gratitude by…” He pauses as his lips brush against hers again before a surprise squeal erupts from his love as she was tossed on the bed.

“Acostado ahí…” He mutters as he removes his gizmo, causing his suit to disintegrate, leaving him in only a tight pair of boxers. A blush forms on her cheek as she admires his muscular physique, despite the nasty bruises that mare his tanned skin. He smirks when he sees the effect hr has on her before crawling onto the bed. Her breath shudders as his broad shoulders slither up between her legs as his hips cause her legs to part.

Before she could react, Miguel lays his full body weight down on her as his head rests on her chest. His arms wrap around her waist as he buries his nose into her shirt as he yawns. His exhausted red eyes look up at her warm ones as he mutters against her clothed breast, “Y déjame dormir escuchando mi lindo corazoncito…¿Sería eso aceptable para ti, mi amor?”

Smiling softly down at him, his love’s arms wrap around his shoulders as a hand finds itself tangled in his thick locks of hair. “Of course, my love. It’s yours to listen to forever.”

With a soft kiss to his crown, the couple falls asleep in each other’s arms as their new kitten climbs up and curls up on Miguel’s back.

~~~~~~~

Translations:

ah maldita sea... mi vida, por favor se razonable…-ah fucking hell... my life, please be reasonable…

Déjame entrar, mi amor. Tengo un regalo para ti. -Let me in, mi amor. I have a gift for you.

Acostado ahí…-Laying there…

Y déjame dormir escuchando mi lindo corazoncito. - And let me sleep listening to my pretty little heart.

¿Sería eso aceptable para ti, mi amor? -would that be acceptable to you, my love?

~~~~~~~

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jiraisupportgroup · 3 months ago

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First of all - I'd like to note that this post is not intended to pressure anyone to change or to make people feel ashamed for the position they are in in life. I feel like a lot of people don't understand that being in this position is not often a choice. A majority of the time there are mental illnesses or chronic physical illnesses which lead someone to this point. It isn't like they're just hanging out at home all day having a blast - it is emotionally and physically taxing to be in this position, and it can be incredibly hard to break out. Not impossible!! Just very hard.

It is not as simple as "just go outside" "just get a job" etc; that kind of advice is not helpful. This post is mostly aimed at people who want to make some sort of change in their routine. Again, if you don't want to change or don't feel a need to - I'm not here to pressure you into changing your life or to tell you you are wrong for living this way - you're not, you're okay I promise. More so this is for people who are thinking about changing things up or adding a little more structure to their life.

Keep in mind - there is no shame in this. If you're looking at your daily log of activities and it isn't what you want it to be that is okay! Don't beat yourself up or be down on yourself for not being perfect or not being where you want to be. This is just so we can identify trends in our behaviours and more clearly see the things we want to cut back on or the things we want to add to our daily / weekly routines.

Try to keep this in a place where it is easy to keep track of. I typically recommend something digital like a notes app on the phone or a google document since you can access that from a computer or your phone - that way it's much easier to just pop in and write a simple note like "10am - had a bagel for breakfast", or a little pocket notebook that you can keep on your person. Make it as easy for yourself as possible.

It can also help to add little notes about how certain activities make you feel or your general mood throughout the day. This doesn't have to be extensive, but something like "Took a shower, feel refreshed but exhausted", or "2-4pm scrolling TikTok, I don't feel anything, I'm a little irritated". Keeping in mind how certain activities make you feel is a good step in identifying how different things affect your mental health and overall energy / stress levels. This can also help us start to see some of the underlying reasons for some of your behaviours. If you start to see why you do or don't like doing certain things, you can have a better understanding of yourself and how you can go about changing certain habits.

For example if you absolutely 100% detest doing the dishes, the feeling, the smell, how long it takes, etc, it isn't going to be very helpful to have a "just do it" approach to building the habit. It will become much easier if we also adopt other things into this such as having a dish-washing chair, a special soap, or gloves to make the process more bearable before throwing yourself head-first into it.

Some goals are easier to identify than others. For example "I want to brush my teeth every night" is a pretty identifiable goal and the steps you need to take to achieve that goal are pretty straightforward. Other goals like "I want to feel more productive" or "I want to have more energy" are vague and difficult to achieve in themsevles, so we need to break them down.

What does each goal mean to you? What does "being more productive" mean? Does it mean keeping your room clean? Creating a physical product or hobby? Achieving smaller goals throughout the day? Exercising more? Trading social media for something like a book? Learning something new? What smaller aspect of this larger idea stands out to you? Once it is broken into parts it's much easier to work on one aspect at a time instead of just trying to change everything overnight.

Other goals seem like too much, like "I want to be able to go to the grocery store by myself". That's an easily identifiable goal, but it's a BIG goal. There are likely steps you'll have to take to work up to this goal, and those steps are heavily tied to the reasons why you don't like going to the grocery store in the first place. If the crowds make you anxious - going out with friends or family to less crowded places, or going to the grocery store at less busy times of day could help. If the food items stress you out - going out to places like office supply stores that don't carry food items or going to the store without the intent of buying anything just to walk around and get used to it might be helpful. Some stores like Kroger, Ingles, or Target often have little coffee shops in them - maybe going to one of these with friends just to get a snack and hang out can help expose you to the idea of the store itself without the pressure of having to pick out what you're buying or the pressure of interacting with the cashier so you don't have to tackle it all at once. Or if you typically get groceries delivered to your house, maybe you could do a purchase online pick up in-store thing one day - you don't have to spend much time in the actual store, and you don't have to pick items out while you're there, but it'll get you to the actual store and then you can just go home right afterwards. Try to find ways to get slowly closer and closer to your final goal without throwing yourself headfirst into it. (One thing I will say specifically about going to the grocery store is try to avoid planning out exactly what you're going to purchase beforehand - I used to do this and I would end up crying in the middle of the store if they didn't have the exact bread they wanted, it backfired on me more than once T-T so do that at your own risk).

Write out as many or as few goals as you can think of. These are long-term goals, so if your list feels really long don't worry! You don't have to do all of this at once! In fact, I implore you not to try and do too many of these things at once! Try not to get overwhelmed if it feels like a lot - you've got time, this is not a once-and-done kind of thing, we're going to take it slow and try to be reasonable with ourselves and our expectations of ourselves.

But how do you pick a goal? There's a lot of ways you could do this. Some people like to try and go for the one that seems the hardest first - I've never really had luck with this I usually just give up when I feel like it's too hard. Some people try to pick the one that seems the easiest to ease themselves into it - this is always nice because it can help you feel like you're actually making progress and changing things. Some people pick ones that overlap. Like if you want to spend less time on social media and more time doing a hobby like knitting - you can combine those two goals into "trade social media time for knitting" to kind of tackle two things at once. Try not to combine too many things together - we do still want these goals to be small and separate from each other - but smaller ones like that it is okay to and makes sense to combine together.

So! You've picked a goal to work towards! Yay! How do we do that? It depends on the goal you've picked. If it's something physical like showering, brushing your teeth, vacuuming, doing the dishes, going for a walk, or cooking dinner, it's a little easier to track. Setting reminders or keeping a log of when you do these things can help, some people like having weekly or daily checklists to keep track of what has been done and when. Try to avoid putting too many things on the checklist - we don't want to overwhelm ourselves, remember we're just working on one thing right now.

For others, picking a certain day of the week or time of day to do these things can help as well. Having a set time or day for certain activities can help set the routine of doing them, and also makes it a little easier to keep track of when they are done. If you miss these days or times don't beat yourself up! Try to avoid the feeling of "oh well I was supposed to shower at 7pm and now it's 10pm so I missed my opportunity" you can deviate from the timeframes you set for yourself they're just a guide. But over time if you decide you're going to brush your teeth at 9pm every night, after a month or two you'll start being like "oh it's 9pm I'm going to go brush my teeth" it becomes a second-hand habit that you don't have to think about too hard after a few months.

If it is a more nebulous or vague goal, we might want to make a roadmap. Like if your end goal is "I want to be able to keep my room clean consistently" there's a lot that goes into that. Often that includes dishes, taking the trash out, doing laundry, folding the laundry, vacuuming, etc. Trying to take all of that on at once can be really overwhelming! Start small. Let's say, maybe every other night you want to take the dishes from your room to the kitchen. Just focus on that. Or maybe you want to make your bed every day. Or maybe you want to do your laundry once a week. Pick one aspect to focus on for a while, and slowly build on that. After about 2 weeks of taking your dishes to the kitchen every other night, maybe you can add washing them into that. Or after doing your laundry once a week for about a month, you can add folding it into that. If you ease yourself into it, it gets much easier to actually build these habits and not super overwhelm yourself right off the bat. And if you miss a day, that's okay! I'm not expecting you to set a goal and then immediately be able to do it all the time, and you shouldn't expect that of yourself either. Go easy on yourself. Slow progress is still progress. Maybe you're not making your bed every day, but making it once or twice a week is still progress! And over time that once or twice a week will evolve into three or four times a week. And it'll just keep going from there.

On the other hand, if you're trying to STOP doing something as much - the approach is often a little different. Some people like to use timers or notes to show when they last did something so they can see how long it's been or notice changes in whether they're doing it more or less frequently. If it's something like trying to cut back on social media you can set time limits on your phone for how long you're allowed to use each app. These are easy enough to bypass but often times having that reminder of "Hey it's been 15 minutes your time limit is up" can be a reminder to yourself that you want to be more mindful of how long you're spending on these apps, even if you just extend the time limit when it pops up.

Set up alternatives for yourself! It's really hard to say "oh I just won't do that anymore", give yourself something else to do instead. If you want to spend less time on social media, you might instead spend more time reading, drawing, or even playing video games. (Trading social media for video games is a healthy trade I will die on this hill - I don't care how many articles you've seen saying they're just as bad as each other I promise you Persona 5 is not as bad as Twitter for your mental health). If you want to stop smoking, instead have gums, lollipops or a drink you enjoy; or practice breathing techniques when you want to smoke; or if you vape try switching to a lower concentration juice (I'm also trying to stop smoking so I feel you on this it's a tough one). If you're trying to stop SH, have other things like ice cubes, rubber bands, pens, or something that will give you a physical sensation without causing harm (or as much harm). Work with yourself, identify what you're getting from each of these things, and try to make a trade for something that is a little better for you but still gives you some of that thing that you want. Don't beat yourself up if you do still engage in these habits, it is hard to stop. Instead of punishing yourself for still doing these things, praise yourself for doing them less often. (And if you're not doing them less often, praise yourself for being aware of your habits in the first place).

The hardest thing about this whole process is getting the motivation to start. Once you get started it's much easier to keep it going, but that first push to get the ball rolling is the hardest part. For a lot of things you can't wait until you feel like doing it - often that won't come. There are different ways people motivate themselves to do things they don't want to do. Ease yourself into it, don't do everything at once do the first step of the process and then take a little break. For example, if you're folding the laundry, separate it into categories then take a little break. When you come back fold one category, then take a break. Then do the next category. Over time the laundry will be all folded! Set a timer, think about how much time you could reasonably spend doing something. Let's say 10 minutes. Set a timer for 10 minutes, then start whatever task it is you want to do. If you want to clean your room maybe set a timer for 10 minutes and spend that time picking up trash. After those 10 minutes are up you're done. You can come back to more of it later. Often times you'll find that you're able to finish a lot of tasks faster than you thought you'd be able to, and if they're not finished oftentimes times you're more inclined to keep going once those 10 minutes are up since you've already started the ball rolling. Some people use a sort of "rip the bandaid off" technique where they set an alarm to go do something and as soon as that alarm goes off they just force themselves do it. This is hard at first but it does become easier. Think of it like you're jumping into a pool. 3...2...1... GO! Often that initial push to just start walking to go to the thing you want to do is the hardest, and once you're moving it becomes easier.

Tell a friend you're going to do it. Sometimes this helps you feel more motivated to do it since you're giving yourself a little bit of outside pressure to complete the task. On this note, weirdly enough, stretching can help you get motivated to do harder tasks. Like if you want to take the trash out but you're laying in bed, stretching in bed just to get your blood moving can sometimes help you get that initial push to get up and take the trash out.

Work with yourself. Try different approaches, and celebrate your successes no matter how small they may seem. Over time you will find things do get easier, and after tackling one small goal for a month or two, you can add another small goal into the mix.

Some popular app recommendations (I'm so sorry this list is so short - hoping to add to it in the future)

IAmSober - Andriod and IOS - allows you to set multiple goals of things you want to stop doing and shows you timers for how long it's been since you last engaged in that habit.

Flora - Google Play, IOS, and Chrome Extension - sets a timer for how long you don't want to use your phone or computer, once you finish this timer without using your device it grows a tree, and adds that tree to your garden. I used to use this for studying back in college and I quite enjoyed it.

HabitShare - Android, Google Play, and IOS - set habits and keep track of when you've completed them, you can also link with friends to see each other's habits too (although, this is optional you can also keep it private).

These are the best-rated free apps I could find for this kind of thing, if there are others that you use or have used in the past please feel free to comment or rb I would love to be able to add to this list.

Thank you so much for reading! I hope this can be at least a little helpful and I hope it doesn't come off as a "just do it" kind of vibe. I know getting the motivation to start building new or breaking old habits is realllllly hard so hopefully, this is at least a bit helpful T-T

As always, I love you guys and I'm proud of you for being here and doing what you can ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ please feel free to comment or send in any questions, comments, concerns, additions, or anything of that sort ~ ♡

#resource #request #tw sh mention #building habits #breaking habits #jiraiblr #landmineblr #jiraiblogging #landmineblogging #pienblr #hikineet

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lovesick-desires · 3 days ago

Text

VALETUDINARIANISM

YANDERE!VIKTOR X IMMUNOCOMPROMISED!READER — CHAPTER THREE

‎‎‎‎PREVIOUS CHAPTER ⇠ ✩ ⇢ NEXT CHAPTER [THE END/COMING SOON]

ABSTRACT: On arrival to the commune, you learn their blissful ways of life that could be yours: one without pain or suffering. However, that wouldn't last for long... CONTENT WARNINGS: major character death, yandere behavior, mass death, coercion, murder, self-hatred (Viktor), god complex (Viktor), swearing, mentions of apocalyptic outcomes, mentions of war TAGS: gender neutral reader, major season two spoilers, minor canon divergence, utilization of other canon characters in the plot, use of Google Translate for Czech, no descriptors for reader, no use of "y/n", slight JayVik if you squint, maybe ooc Mel and Jayce (not sure), lack of Viktor in this chapter but dw he will be more prominent in the next one, semi proof read (N)SFW?: SFW WORD COUNT: 3.2k+ VIKTOR'S YANDERE ARCHETYPE: delusional, protective

Through the decrepit streets of the Undercity, The Machine Herald sauntered beside you, leading you back to the commune. The cerulean light from the midnight moon basked both your forms, its crescent body hanging among the twinkling stars that were meticulously dappled over the canvas of the midnight sky. With the bottle of pills clutched in your digits and his cane in his, you two walked in silence in the nightly solace. The cacophony of Zaunite nightlife and bar fights dissipated as the symphony of nature faded in as you two drawing closer to the commune.

Maybe things wouldn't be so bad, maybe you were just overreacting, maybe... just maybe, Viktor was right.

"Are you afraid of me, miláček¹?" Viktor muttered, his voice percolating his lips. His whisper garnered your attention, your gaze flickering up to the man beside you.

"Fear is... not exactly how I feel, Machine Herald. I'd say... uncertainty would be better." You carefully replied, your words well thought-out. This elicited an affirmative hum from the healer, the clicking of his cane following.

"Rozumím²," Viktor muttered, halting at the gate of the commune before you two. His kaleidoscopic eyes shifted to meet your gaze, a soft glimmer in them from the moon above. "You are uncertain of the future then, yes?" He added, his voice warm as the corners of his lips turned upward. You stood beside him as you gave him a small nod.

"You can understand my... reluctancy, right? I mean, this whole thing it just feels like it's—"

"Too good to be true, yes?" Viktor interjected, rotating his torso to face you. "I thought so too. I thought that things could never get better for me due to my weak, fragile, human form. I felt that I was going be six feet under before I could even turn 35, to be honest." He lamented, his gaze shifting to his cane. The healer stood in silence for a moment, his digits squeezing around the cane in his palm. His brows knitted together as his gaze hardened.

"I was bounded by the limits of my flesh and bones, the blood pumping through my veins, my viscera within, and in short, my humanity." Viktor muttered, somatophobia evident in his tone. "It was nothing but a hinderance to my true potential. Therefore, I sought to better it by any means necessary." Viktor declared, gazing out at the commune, fixing his posture as he gazed upon his creation. With a reluctant hand, you place it upon the healer's shoulder, garnering a soft gasp from him.

"Are you... glad you did?" You questioned, looking over at The Machine Herald.

"Glad is... not exactly how I feel, I believe that empowered would be better in that use." Viktor proclaimed, taking a step closer to the commune as your hand slipped from his shoulder. "Before, I felt powerless and febrile, but now, I feel as if I can do anything. I have healed so many people, so many ailments and disabilities." Viktor added triumphantly. With this, his colorful eyes gazed back towards you, a soft smile graced his pale lips.

"And I hope you become one of the people I have healed. I believe it will be... glorious" Viktor spoke softly, his voice laced with honey.

To this, you nodded, smiling softly back.

Two days had passed since you decided to give the commune a try. It had been a fresh breath of fresh air in your aching lungs, seeing people live so peacefully without fear or pain. The more and more you saw, the more you wished to join them. However, you gave yourself three days to make sure you were certain. This was a big life decision after all. It was an idyllic little commune, or so you thought.

You were helping some of the soup kitchens prepare food for the nightly supper when you felt an all-familiar burning in your lungs, causing a series of coughs to erupt from your throat. Others looked at you with concern and worry, one of the commune's chefs came up to you, assisting you into a chair as you dug in your pocket for your pills. Soon enough, your fingers wrapped around the pill bottle, fishing it out with ease as your throat burned with agony. Opening the bottle, you quickly pulled out one of the five, leaving the last four. You figured there was no need to refill them at this point as you most likely would never need them again in a days time.

Slipping the pill under your tongue, the chef rubbed your back with concern, others gazing at you with concern and whispering among themselves. Over the course of the next minute, the pain slowly seized as you took some deep breaths.

"Are you okay?" The chef questioned, his brows knitted together in concern. With a sniffle, you nodded your head, watching as the other members went back to their tasks, talking amongst themselves in hushed whispers. You could feel the judgement from the dissipating crowd as you rose to your feet, brushing it off.

"I-I'm okay, thank you." You spoke to the chef, adjusting your posture.

Besides the occasional judgmental individual, you felt like you could fare well in this commune. People were so nice and accepting, the land and food was plentiful, and you felt like you could genuinely get better if you accepted Viktor's blessings.

A flash bright light from outside followed by a loud bang filled your senses, causing your blood to run cold. Something was very wrong. Rushing out of the food tent, you gazed out at the center, concern brewing in your chest. A large eruption could be seen from the orb as if a large hole had been blasted through it. Remnants of the orb floated in the air amidst the eruption.

Looking around at the commune members who seemed to be just as confused, the fingerprint markings on their bodies from Viktor's healings began to glow a bright white. One by one, people began to collapse, dropping to the floor like flies with eyes wide and mouths agape. Your breathing quickens as you watch everyone collapse one by one, some still on their knees as soft beams of golden light emit upwards from their markings.

What the hell is going on?

You gaze back at the orb to see a man sneaking out of it while wielding what appeared to be some sort of large hammer. His golden eyes looked around frantically as his chapped lips let out soft gasps as he seemed to be running from the orb. Without thinking, you ran after the mysterious man, your legs sprinting to catch up as you chased him towards the edge of the commune, to get some sort of answer to this madness.

"Wait!" You cried out, alerting the man whose boots slid against the dirt road to a halt. His head snapped back to your direction, his deep brown hair laid in thick strands on his tan forehead.

"How are you not turned into—"

""Who are you? Everyone just collapsed! What was that loud boom? What the fuck is going on?" You proclaimed, your words frantic and panicked. As if just to add on to the calamity, a loud roar could be heard from the commune's center, garnering both of your attentions. To this, the mystery man's thick brows knitted together as his hand rested on your shoulder.

"Come on, we don't have much time!"

"You didn't answer my questions—"

"I'll explain everything after we get out of here, come on!" The man proclaimed, gesturing you to follow him.

Feeling like this was your only option, you quickly followed the man, letting the roaring of whatever monster back there fade into the distance. You could feel your heart pounding in your ears, the stress causing hot saliva to pool in your mouth. Your lungs began to feel that dreadful burn but you keep pushing it down, trying your best to suppress it once more.

As if the world was trying to play a cruel trick on you, you tripped over your own foot, falling to the floor with a grunt. This gained Jayce's attention who screeched to a halt, running back to grab your hand, helping you to your feet. You felt your lungs giving out as you weakly stood, knees buckling and breaths wheezing. As if on instinct, the man scooped you up in your arms, carrying you bridal style as he kept running.

"Come on, stay with me, we're almost there." The man grunted through gritted teeth. "Once we get there, I'll explain everything." He added, adjusting his grip on you in his arms. You tried to reach for your pills in your pocket but the man's grip inadvertently restricted your movement. Your lungs and throat burned like hell as you tried to remain conscious. However, the pain eventually became too much and you shut your eyes to be greeted by pure black.

beep...

You could hear a faint beeping fade in. You felt warm and safe, covered in some sort of blanket.

beep...

"Who are they?" A warm feminine voice spoke up, one vaguely familiar to you.

beep...

"I don't know, they just ran up to me after... you know." The voice of the mystery man from earlier declared.

You could feel some sort of needle lay stagnant in your arm that slowly pumped liquids into your bloodstream.

beep...

"Jayce, we have no idea who this person is or what their intentions are."

You could feel a tube in your nostrils, blowing cold air into your respiratory tract.

beep...

"With all do respect, Mel, they looked scared. I couldn't just leave them there. Besides, they weren't... you know... 'healed' by Viktor yet."

Healed? Did he mean the healing caused all of this?

beep...

You could feel your fingertips as you began to move them a little, trying to wake yourself up from this episode of sleep paralysis.

beep...

"They're waking up." The woman, presumably named Mel, spoke informatively.

beep...

Slowly, you felt your eyelids get less heavy, allowing them to slowly open. Your vision was flooded with a bright white light, causing you to wince at the change of scenery. Soon enough, the white faded and you were greeted with two faces looking down at you: one familiar and one not.

"You're awake" The woman stated, her hazel eyes scanning your person. Your eyes gazed around, realizing you were in some sort of infirmary. But this was most definitely not like Zaun. The room was clean and well kept, unlike the dilapidated hospitals in the Undercity.

"Where are we?" You croaked out, slowly sitting up as the tan nasal cannula slipped from your left nostril.

"You are in an infirmary." The mystery man, presumably named Jayce, explained.

"I'm aware of that, but where? This is not like any infirmary I have seen." You rasped, adjusting the nasal cannula. The two other individuals exchanged glances before looking back at you.

"You are in Piltover's main infirmary. Do not worry, you are safe here." Mel declared, sitting on a chair at your bed side. Piltover? How the hell did you get in Piltover? Mel seemed to pick up on your confusion, resting her hand on your shoulder. She looked up at Jayce who had his brows knitted in concern. "Want to explain what happened to them, Jayce?" She queried, glancing up at the now more well-kept man who was now wearing a black form-fitting professional shirt instead of the raggedy white coat from earlier. Jayce cleared his throat before beginning.

"I found you at Viktor's commune after... what happened... and we were running but you collapsed. I tried to keep you awake but you started coughing and gasping before passing out. I luckily got you here in time and used one of those pills from that pill bottle in your pocket on you. You were really out of it for a while as I ran you to the infirmary and now we're here." Jayce explained, his voice laced with worry. Wait... Viktor. What happened to him?

"Where's Viktor?" You questioned, your brows knitting together in slight confusion. This seemed to bring an air of tension to the room as Mel sighed shakily.

"Viktor... is dead."

What?

"How?" You questioned, looking at Mel then at Jayce. Jayce's face looked crestfallen as he averted his gaze to the floor.

"I did what I had to do." Jayce proclaimed, still holding his hammer at his side. In his other hand, he held a small silver gear that seemed to be dappled with multiple colors, spinning it slowly in his fingers. The room fell into heavy silence as if all of us were processing something in the inner machinations of our minds. "It was for the greater good, even if Viktor was my partner." Jayce commented, pocketing the gear. Partner in what context? You had no idea, yet you felt like you shouldn't ask that in this moment. It was obvious Jayce was close to Viktor in some context and did what he did out of some form of necessity.

"I... I see..." You muttered, slowly taking the nasal cannula out of your nose as you felt like there was no longer a need for it.

"Were you close to Viktor?" Jayce queried, resting the head of his hammer on the floor as a sort of support.

"Not particularly, no." You spoke up, sitting up straight in the bed.

"So why were you at the commune? And why aren't you... healed?" Jayce interrogated, his thick brows knitted together.

"Well, Viktor had convinced me to stay three days to see what it was like before I made my decision." You proclaimed, swinging your feet over the edge of the bed.

"Decision to be what?"

"To be healed." To this, Jayce sighed softly.

"Well, be glad you weren't." Jayce muttered, sitting in a chair on the other side of the bed.

"How come?" You asked as your feet adorned with hospital socks grazed the off-white tile floor. A crestfallen look appeared on Jayce's face as he sighed, his gaze shifting to meet yours.

"All the people Viktor 'healed'? They are all essentially his puppets now." Jayce answered, his voice seeping from his lips like billowing smoke.

"What? How?" You inquired

"Well, Viktor has some sort of control over the people he has used his powers on. It's correlated to his use of the Hexcore." Jayce

"The Hexcore? What's that?" You questioned, your curiosity peaking

"It's what gave Viktor his powers in the first place. It's... something him and I were researching before the attack on Piltover's council... It was something I should have destroyed long ago when I had the chance." Jayce explained, still spinning the gear in his fingers. Mel took a deep sigh as she looked at you, continuing.

"Now, it seems like Viktor has taken on some new sort of omnipresent form through the husks that were once his commune members."

"Now, it is something your mother is trying to weaponize as an unstoppable army." Jayce grumbled, clutching the gear tightly.

"She has no idea what she is dealing with, Jayce." Mel proclaimed, her brows furrowed.

"We know that, she does not."

"She is tempering with forces outside her reach."

"Well, we still have to stop her."

"What are you two going on about?" You interjected, lost in the lack of context.

With a sigh, Mel looked at you, the golden accents on her skin glistened in the lamplight.

"There is about to be a large war between Noxus and Piltover, and Viktor is in the center of it." Mel

"Viktor is on the precipice of something he calls his 'glorious evolution'. If it comes true, the world as we know it will cease to exist." Jayce interjected, standing from his chair. The thought of this coming a reality chilled you to the core. This man you were thinking of letting heal you was going to... start the apocalypse?

"You mean the world will end?" You enquired, your fingers gripping the white sheet of the cot. To this, Mel rose from her chair, her white cloak dancing with her elegant movement.

"Exactly. That is why we are gathering soldiers now to fight back." Mel spoke, her gaze moving to Jayce. To this, Jayce gave an affirmative nod.

"We are going to need as many people as we can with this or we don't stand a chance." Jayce declared, also rising from his chair. Jayce's golden gaze shifted to you as you sat on the edge of the cot. With wobbly knees, you rose as well, trying your best to stay standing.

"You guys said you needed people, right?" You probed, your gaze meeting Mel's then Jayce's. To this, Jayce tutted, putting a hand on your shoulder.

"No, absolutely not, you are far too weak right now." Jayce reprimanded, gently pushing you back into a sitting position on the cot. To this, your gaze hardened at the man before you.

"Maybe now, yes, but the war is not right this moment, right? Give me the night to recover and I can be on my feet in the morning." You asserted, your conviction and determination strong. Mel cocked a brow at your statement, surprised by your altruism.

"What help could you be to us in a situation of war?" Mel countered, her voice laced with judgment and uncertainty. You refused to sit around and watch the world end. You have fought for this long to keep living, like hell you'd give up now without putting up a fight.

"I'm one more person who is willing to fight. I will not let myself lay idly in this bed and watch the world end. You need people, well, I am a person." You affirmed, your words laced with determination. To this, Mel's gaze shifted to Jayce.

"They have a point, Jayce" Mel asserted, a soft smile on her lips. To this, Jayce grumbled, grabbing the handle of his hammer.

"Don't encourage them. They crumbled when they tried to run from the commune with me." Jayce shot back, his tone full of uncertainty.

"You can always fall as long as you get back up." You proclaimed, raising from your cot once more as you stabilized your legs. You stood proudly as you looked between the two before you. "Besides, Viktor once told me that while my body may be limited, my soul is strong. I will help in any way I can." You added, adjusting the fabric of your hospital gown. Jayce looked intrigued by your statement before he reluctantly sighed.

"Fine, but you better be willing to fight with everything you have." Jayce relented, his tone wavering from uncertainty and sternness. You felt a warm hand glide onto your shoulder. You look over to see Mel smiling softly at you with a look of hope in her eyes.

"Trust in them, Jayce. I know a good warrior when I see one." Mel proclaimed, her smile soft yet assuring.

"I will not let you two down."

¹ miláček — "darling" or "sweetheart" in Czech

² rozumím — "I understand" in Czech

SONG OF THE FIC: DISEASE - LADY GAGA

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