#when all you say is ‘processing time is 2-3 weeks.’ well that kind of leads people to assume the processing time will be 2-3 weeks

[gobbluthbutagirl]

lol so like 100000 years ago, like literally all the way back in MARCH when i was still living in my shithole apartment, i ordered stuff from some company that i had assumed was legit, and i had ordered it to be delivered to my dad’s house because i knew i was about to move out of that shithole and their website said to allow 2-3 weeks for processing before it shipped. well. 2-3 weeks went by, then 2-3 months, and it never shipped. and i noticed some stuff was off about the whole thing, like in the shopify app you couldn’t actually browse the products like you can with literally every other shop, you have to go to their website directly to even see their shit. and because of this there’s also no shop rating in the shopify app like there is with literally every other shop. so i’m like, ok, whatever, i got scammed, and i’m out like $100, but i have other shit going on right now too so i don’t really care that much about that. and i did report it to shopify a couple times like, hey, i never got my shit, but obviously nothing ever came of that. and i’m also separately having a weird problem with my email address where it’s like 14 years old and the provider has actually been defunct for a while now and i literally don’t even know if that’s actually why but ANYWAY every time i try to send an email from my email app it just bounces and doesn’t send and i can’t even log into my account on their website either because the 2-factor authentication they have on there literally does not even work, like it sends me a code and then i put in the code and it’s like, wrong code! even though i know for a fact it’s the right code.

and so anyway all this to say i couldn’t email the company directly either so i was just like whatever. but then i also didn’t want to try to get my bank to refund the charges either because i was like, what if they do eventually ship it? and obviously they wouldn’t do ever do that if i managed to get my money back, and i did want that stuff clearly because otherwise i wouldn’t have ordered it. so i just kind of forgot about it for a while and made a million other online purchases on shopify since then all of which i’ve had zero issues with. so it was just kind of this thing in the background that i was just choosing to not deal with.

but then fast-forward to today. the “order placed” just randomly changed to “shipped.” and there’s no tracking number and i never got any type of email saying it had shipped. and the only time i’ve ever had a package not have a tracking number is when i’ve ordered overseas from the uk and this company is ALLEGEDLY based in the la area so i’m just like…lol. and i don’t know at what point this happened but i tried to click on their website today after this and the domain literally isn’t even registered anymore. so like again…lol. and i’m thinking either this package hasn’t actually shipped and will not actually ship and it was just marked as shipped so they don’t get in trouble for never having shipped it at the six-month mark which is coming up really soon OR if it did ship it did NOT ship from los angeles and instead shipped from somewhere overseas(presumably china) and could i guess actually theoretically arrive at some point within the next month. which of course will be ~6 months after i ordered it. which AGAIN…lol!

[mediumgayitalian]

fic rec friday 3

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

Memories Made by zjass06

"Hi! I'm Will! You're my new neighbour!" the blonde boy beams; Nico frowns in turn, peering curiously at this Will. "My ma' says not to talk to strangers," Nico replies as he sits himself upon the grass. Will plops himself down next to the dark haired boy, who giggles so purely it makes his smile contagious. "I'm not a stranger, I'm your neighbour! You live next to me now and we can be friends!" Or A few snippets of Nico’s life and how his friendship develops with Will, all within a much treasured treehouse.

childhood friends to lovers will ALWAYS be elite. to me. and the centrality of this treehouse in this fic is so fucking cute bc they absolutely are the type of nerds to have a treehouse they use well into their late teens lol

2. Mafia by @buoyantsaturn

Nico is the most terrifying mob boss in New York, and Will is his live-in doctor. A Mafia Au

MY FAVE SOLANGELO SERIES TBH. like is it toxic a little bit? yeah. did the second one make me squeamish? yeah. in the 6/7 years since its been posted, have i read it literally DOZENS of times?? you betcha. idk man theres something about the danger of it all. the insane mob boss and the doctor hes whipped for. SO SO much fun and so so so romantic

3. you stormed into the battlefield (of my heart) by fedyaism

“Doctor Solace,” he says, “would you be willing to tend to a foe?” Will blinks. (He had practically expected everything but this.) “I’m sorry?” “I need you to heal an enemy for me. Can you do that?” Grace asks in a tone that lets Will know that he wasn’t really asking. “An… an enemy, sir?” “Yes. I will send him to you.” “Of course, General.” (What else could he say?)

this ends ambiguously but i am Choosing to believe they find each other again and live happily ever after for ever and ever bc im a weenie. its just...man fuck the military and i got no fondness for war BUT this isnt real and ergo i can sigh dreamily at love that is inherently kind of tragic and all the more desperately beautiful for you, yknow??

4. It's a Process by @oh-hush-its-perfect

When Nico comes out to Hazel, she really isn't sure how to react. Of course, she loves her brother to pieces, but something is holding her back. It takes a while to get over old beliefs. It takes a while to become accepting. It takes Hazel a while indeed. A.K.A. Nico is gay and Hazel can't wrap her head around it.

contrary to what the summary may lead you to believe, hazel is NOT at all homophobic in this fic. in fact her number one goal at all times is to be supportive, even as she struggles, and you know what? thats more important i think. her love for her brother is so transparently obvious in this one, she spends like 8k words doing everything she can to make SURE she is loving and accepting!!! hazel i love you. also the campfire scene had me giggling fr

5. three times everyone thought they hated each other by lizamarri

and the one time everyone realized they didn't ~ ft. capture the flag, big three kids sparring, will healing nico and being sassy about it, and more. enjoy!

NOTHING hits as hard as flirt fighting. truly nothing. also 3+1s are my weakness i stg, theres just something about outside pov and the sheer clarity of how much they love each other and love driving each other up the wall lmfao

thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!

[shinsorokiri]

The Rockstar and The Farmer

Sam x Reader

Genre: fluff

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: language, spoilers for Jodi’s heart event, mutual pining, Sam being chaotically smooth

A/N: Yes I’m aware I said I’d hopefully have part two up by the end of the week, yes I am aware it is like three weeks later, everybody makes mistakes and I make big ones frequently. Part 3 will be out eventually, I promise. That being said, enjoy this very late posting of part 2! :)

part [1] 2 [3?]

“Seb, Abigail, and I are gonna unload our gear, so I’ll see you in like… an hour? Or so?” You nod. “Yeah, see you then,” you say, getting up and off the bus. 

You walk back to your farm, being welcomed by your animals almost immediately. You go check up on them and make sure they’re all happy and okay before going inside your house to grab the fish you put on ice for Jodi. You check the clock and see that it took you a decent amount of time to check your animals and decide to start walking over now. You take your time, taking the scenic route and waving to Leah as you pass by her home. You check your watch, making sure

You knock on the door before letting yourself in. “Jodi?” you call out, and she dashes out from the kitchen. “Ah, I’m so glad you came, (Y/n)! And you brought the fish! Wonderful,” she exclaims, and you hurry over to her, handing her the fish. You begin to take it out of the cooler you brought it in while Jodi turns slightly towards the hallway that leads to her two sons’ rooms. “Sam! Could you come in here and help clean this fish?” You hear a pause before Sam’s voice responds, quieter than usual but loud enough for his mom to hear, though you don’t know if she picks up on the subtle annoyance in his tone. “Yes, ma’am.” You hear footsteps and the familiar creak of his bedroom door opening while you take the fish out of the cooler and hold it in your hands, presenting it to Jodi. “Wow, it looks wonderful… and it smells so fresh!” she takes it out of your hands and into hers before smiling at you, “Thanks so much for doing this, (Y/n).”

“No problem, I can help you with cleaning the fish, too, if you’d like,” you offer, and Sam’s eyes light up. “Yes!”

“No!” Jodi and Sam look at each other, and she sighs. “Sam… (Y/n) is our guest, we can’t make them help clean the food they came here to eat.” Sam frowns, disappointed that he’s going to have to gut and clean this fish with his mom instead of his crush best friend. You feel a tinge of disappointment as well, and before you even process, you’re speaking, you blurt out, “Oh no it’s fine! You were kind enough to invite me tonight so the least I can do is help you prepare the meal! Besides, I’ve gotten pretty good at gutting fish, I bet I could teach Sam here a thing or two.” Sam raises his eyebrow at you, obviously amused. “Who said I need someone to teach me?”

“Me, Sam. I know you, and you always need someone to teach you,” you tease, and he rolls his eyes, but the smile on his face gives him away. Jodi watches, her own smile spreading when she seemingly changes her mind. “Oh, fine. You two clean the fish, and I’ll get some sides and all the other ingredients ready, okay?”

“Okay, Jodi,” you say, as Sam takes this fish from his mom, and you follow him into the kitchen. “I have been gutting fish ever since we moved here, farmer, let me show you a thing or two,” he brags and you giggle, rolling your eyes. “Please, Sam. Show me everything I already know.”

“Hey now, did you know that you can do this?” Sam begins to cut into the fish when the knife slips and falls to the floor. You both jump out of the way, and Sam quickly wraps his arms around you, pulling you back to make sure you’d stay safe. You ignore the fuzzy feeling that spreads through your chest and giggle. “No, Sam, I actually didn’t know I could gut the floor while simultaneously gutting a fish,” you joke, and his face turns bright red. “My hands got all slimy from the fish!”

“Yeah. Mhm, okay,” you laugh, bending over to pick up the knife and walking over to the sink to wash it off. “I’m being serious I am so good at gutting these guys,” he whines as you walk over to him and the fish, drying the knife off. You grin at him. “I believe you, but… maybe I should hold the knife,” you tease, standing in front of the fish and getting ready to cut into it. He sighs. “Fine, but I can still show you my tips and tricks… here,” he says, wrapping his arms around you from the back and holding onto your hand with his. You’re grateful that you’re facing the opposite way from him so he can’t see your dopy grin, but Jodi sees it. You and Sam interacting had always put a smile on her face, but especially now. She was excited to see what might come from all this subtle flirting going on between the two of you. And she’d be lying if she said she didn’t find herself encouraging this subtle flirting. She never thought she’d enjoy watching her son gut a fish this much.

With your help, you and Sam managed to gut the largemouth bass in record time, and Jodi shooed the two of you out of the kitchen so she could cook. “Come on, I have a new song idea and want you to hear it, we should have enough time until the casserole is ready,” Sam says, grabbing your hand and pulling you to his room. You feel your face heat up as Sam’s hand effortlessly intertwines with yours, and smile because you’re about to hear a new Sam original. “Can’t wait to hear Goblin Destroyer perform this one at their next show, you grin, and he chuckles a bit. He let’s go of your hand and scratches his neck. “Well, actually, this is more of a song for me…” he lets you know, quickly turning around and inaudibly mumbling, “and someone else…” You take your seat on his bed, pulling your knees up to your chest and resting your face on your knees. You grin at him as he picks up his guitar and turns to you. He begins to strum his guitar and opens his mouth, getting ready to sing, when suddenly there’s a knock at his door. A tiny little knock. You and Sam glance at each other and he smiles apologetically. “Looks like I’ll have to show you the song after dinner, then,” he places the guitar back on it’s stand and opens the door. “(Y/N)!” Vince yells, running in and hopping up onto Sam’s bed and giving you a hug. You laugh and hug him back. “Hi, Vince!”

Sam stands by his door, leaning against the wall, observing the way you interact with his younger brother. He grins softly. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t warm his heart to know that Vincent loved you almost as much as him. Almost. He realizes that his eyes go from focusing on you and Vince to just you. He’d been trying to make more subtle moves to hint at his interest in you recently, and he’s really hoping that you’ve been picking up on it. But for some reason, it’s getting increasingly harder for him to not just straight up confess to you. In fact, he has a letter telling you to meet him at 8 in front of his house all written up and in his jeans pocket right now. Of course, he’s nervous about how you’ll react, but he really just wants to be able to wrap his arms around you all the time and keep you close to him. He wants to be able to refer to you as his partner with Sam and Abigail and actually mean it. He wants the rest of the people in Pelican Town to know that the farmer who moved here is a part of the community just as much as he is. He just wants you—

“Why are you staring at us like that?” Vince's little voice pulls Sam out of his trance and his eyes widen. “I wasn’t staring.”

“Yes, you were.”

“Was not.”

“Was too.”

“Was no—”

“OKAY! DINNER’S READY EVERYONE!” Jodi yells, cutting the brothers off. You chuckle, watching Vince immediately run out to get food. You look over at Sam, whose face is still red, by the way, and get up off his bed. You walk over to him and tug on the sleeve of his jean jacket. “Come on, rockstar. Let’s go eat.” He grins slightly and follows you out to eh kitchen, sitting next to you. Dinner tastes great, you immediately start asking Jodi a ton of questions about the recipe, which she happily answers and agrees to write it down for you. You already have your mind swimming with ideas to add ingredients that might add more flavor or give the dish a new spin. You almost feel like a part of the family. It ends too soon, though, and before you know it, you’re yawning up a storm. “Oh, (Y/n), you must be tired. You did a lot of running around today,” Jodi mentions, and you wave your hand, shaking your head. “I’m fine, I promise, but it is about time I should head out. I need to go make sure all the animals are all snug and safe,” you say, standing up. “Let me help you clean the table first,” you say, starting to grab your plates. “No, don’t be silly! I can handle that. Sam, why don’t you walk (Y/n) home?” Jodi suggests and Vince jumps up. “Can I go?!”

“No, Vinny, you’re staying here. It’s nearly your bedtime,” Jodi says, and Vince whines. You give him a goodbye hug and make your way to the front door, putting your shoes on. “I’ll see you tomorrow! Thank you so much for the delicious meal!” you yell as you walk out of the house, Sam closing the door behind the two of you. Although it’s summer, it’s a very chilly night. And silly you, you left our jacket at your farm. You shiver slightly, and Sam notices. “Here,” he shrugs his jean jacket off, wrapping it around your shoulders. “Oh, no, Sam I’ll be fine—”

“No, no, no, you’re cold, you’re wearing it,” he insists, and you smile softly to yourself. “Thanks.”

“No problem, (Y/n/n).” The two of you walk past Marnie’s ranch, and you watch as fireflies light up the night. “Today was fun,” you say, and Sam nods. “So fun. Thanks again for coming to my show… and for coming to dinner… and helping me gut that fish and not my foot,” he says, causing you to giggle. “Of course. You know I’ll always be at your gigs. Oh! Speaking of you didn’t play me that song!” you exclaim, halting and turning to him. He lets out a small laugh. “That’s okay. I’ll show you another time. You wake up at like 5 in the morning and it’s almost 10:30. I’d rather get you home and in bed,” he says, grabbing your arm and pulling you to walk again. “Aw, so thoughtful,” you tease, before yawning again. “Mhm, and you said you weren’t tired.”

“I’m just used to being tired, comes with the farm.”

“Maybe you should sleep in a little later? Take a nap during the day?”

“Can’t,” you shake your head, “if I’m not caring for the animals, I’m planting crops, and if I’m not planting crops, I’m in the mines, and if I’m not in the mines, I’m fishing, and if I’m not fishing—”

“You’re taking care of the animals… I know. I guess I just worry about you sometimes. You do a lot, you deserve a break,” he shrugs, and you sheepishly grin, looking down at your feet. He’s right, you do overexert yourself. But you have to fix up the Community Center before that idiot Lewis sells it to Joja. You know you have to move quick. “Well once I have the best farm in Pelican Town, I’ll rest,” you say, and Sam rolls his eyes. “(Y/n/n), you already have the best farm in Pelican Town. You’re the farm of Pelican Town,” he says, and you shrug. “Can always be better.”

“I swear one of these days I’m gonna force you to lay down and do nothing all day long. Mark my words.”

“Words marked. I’d like to see you try though,” you say, and he scoffs. “Oh, I won’t just try, I will succeed.” You giggle as you walk onto your land, passing by the little pond by your coop. “Mr. Quackers, if you don’t get inside the coop and stop swimming around so help me Yoba, I will only let you swim in a bucket,” you shout out to your duck, who quacks at you, but seemingly understands the threat. Sam laughs as he waddles into the coop, and you close the door that lets the birds out. None of your babies are getting eaten by anything tonight. Or ever, for that matter. “Mr. Quackers?”

“Yeah. He also responds shockingly well to just Quack. He knows I’m serious when I call him his legal name though,” you grin, and Sam shakes his head. “I can’t believe he actually listened to you.”

“I just have a way with my animals,” you brag, shutting the open barn door after seeing all your animals are safe and sound inside. You glance to where your stable is and see your horse asleep with your dog asleep next to her. “Well, looks like all my animals are accounted for. Thank you for walking me home, Sam,” you grin at him as you get to the front door of your little farmhouse. He grins back. “No problem. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, for sure… oh wait! Your jacket!” you start to shrug it off as he begins walking away. “Nah, it’s fine. I’ll see you tomorrow anyway. ‘Sides, it looks better on you,” he says, turning around and shooting a wink at you. You feel butterflies erupt in your stomach, and heat start spreading through your face all the way up to your ears. “I’ll get it to you tomorrow!”

“Or you can hold onto it for a bit, really, I don’t mind,” he insists, and you shake your head. But there’s no hiding the smile that breaks out across your face. “G’night, farmer!”

“Goodnight, rockstar,” you say, waving at him as he turns and begins walking home. You walk inside your home, your dog rushing past you when he hears the creaking of your door. You grin and lock your door for the night, slipping your shoes off. You’re about to take Sam’s jacket off when you stop. Maybe you’ll wear this to sleep in tonight. Just because you might as well get as much use out of it before returning it to him. Obviously. That’s a good reason to sleep in it. You change into your pajamas, before slipping the jacket back on and getting under your covers. You breathe in Sam’s cologne, noticing it’s more comforting than it usually is right now, and start drifting off. You don’t even hear your mailbox opening or notice your pup staring at the window for a moment before lying his head back down and falling asleep curled next to you. You fall asleep, with only one thought in your head. 

‘See you tomorrow, rockstar.’

[radiaurapple]

for the ask writer game:

numbers 3, 11, 14, 43, and 56 :)))))

omg buckle up this is gonna be long (also going to answer thru the lens of Lucid Dreams, sorry Mr. Shingles lol)

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter / fic

I always start with an outline! For a long-form work like Lucid Dreams the outlining process is a little like the underpainting in an oil painting — the purpose is to set the tone and arrange the major shapes in the composition to ensure that it’ll come together into something pleasing. The outline starts with broad strokes and becomes more detailed with each pass. With Lucid Dreams I began with the idea of opening on Alastor meeting a human Lucifer in New Orleans, only for the reader to later realize that the story is not an AU — that both of them are still in the hotel. The next major plot tentpoles were Hollis, Lucifer’s ability, their deal, and Alastor’s trip to Heaven.

When I begin each chapter, I always have a pretty clear idea of what I need to accomplish and how, so it’s just a matter of filling in details. I have a playlist for the fic I always listen to while I’m writing — music really helps me to hold the tone in my head while I’m working. 

Ideally I’d write the entire story before posting anything so I can set up and follow through on story beats, but that isn’t as fun, lol. For Lucid Dreams I write chapters at least 2 weeks in advance, which accomplishes a couple of things:

it makes it possible for me to maintain a consistent update schedule when I’m busy (I even updated Lucid Dreams during my cross-country move!)

it allows me move beats around and set up references within that window so the story feels cohesive

it lets each chapter marinate in my head for a little while before posting, which is super helpful for revision

This amount of lead time has worked pretty well for Lucid Dreams — there’s only a couple of things I would change if I could:

I realized after Ch. 10 that I wish I had made Lucifer’s human eyes green instead of blue (like Eden 🥺)

There’s a scene I really want to add to Ch. 2. I still might sneak it in there if I have time lol!!!

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

how to choose 😭

All time / any fandom:

Running On Air by eleventy7 | Harry Potter (trans women are women) - I am not exaggerating when I say this fic is a perfect execution of the form. It is shockingly good. It easily stands alongside the best novels I’ve ever read. Lucid Dreams is directly inspired by this fic and there’s a little reference to it in Ch. 7. 

Astra Inclinant by eleventy7 | Harry Potter (trans women are women) 

saltwater said by gimmeshellder | Steven Universe

Radioapple:

Strange Appetites by Gotllphi

my kingdom come undone by literalmetaphor

the Wicked Game series by Trashdemonx — I’ve gotta mention this one because this author honestly might be the best smut writer I have encountered in more than a decade of reading fanfiction — I will absolutely be returning to their work to study it whenever I find myself writing a scene with any kind of physical intimacy.

14. How do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

I am honestly just a very emotional person, lol! I am formerly religious and I often leverage that background for Lucid Dreams, which is certainly cathartic — but in general I don’t draw as much on personal experience for Lucid Dreams as I do for my original work. I have never been to New Orleans, and I am not the Devil. That said, there are elements of the characters’ internal worlds that I see reflected in myself which helps me to write them!

43. Do you take sadistic joy in whumping your characters, or are you more the “If you hurt them I would kill everyone and then myself” kind of person?

When I was younger I always pulled my punches with characters — I’m a very empathetic person and I struggled to bring characters (and myself, and readers) down into dark places. But my best artistic work has always arisen from a kind of feral impulse to capture and reflect pain — it is actually just like the description of Alastor’s second kill in chapter 9. As I’ve gotten older I’ve come to understand life as a cycle of making and unmaking, losing and gaining — pain lays the foundation for healing, and that cycle is an essential aspect of the human experience. So I’m no longer afraid of taking my characters all the way down. It certainly isn’t sadistic for me, but it is cathartic, and it makes my work a far better reflection of life. 

56. What’s something about your writing you pride yourself on? 

omg why is this so hard 💀💀

I am a storyteller professionally — I started writing Lucid Dreams after a work-related trauma left me at the lowest I have ever been artistically. This story (and all the nice comments I’ve received about it 🥺) has helped me recover, which is why the prose in Ch. 10 is so much stronger than the prose in Ch. 1. But I’m still not incredibly happy with it, which probably speaks to my own perfectionism more than anything lol. 

So what do I feel Lucid Dreams does well? In the show, we really only see Lucifer and Alastor’s characters at a surface level, and I feel Lucid Dreams is successful at giving them both a complex, realistic, and relatable inner world. I’m also honestly shocked by how tightly constructed and elegant the plot came out — I’ve gotten way more skilled at constructing long-form plots in the past few years and I think that really comes through here.

thanks so much for sending this ask, I had a lot of fun answering!!! ❤️

[unohanabbygirl]

Thanks for tagging me babes ☺️ @sapphireblueye

How many works do you have on A03?

7! Five multi-chaptered and two oneshots

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

481,884 (I honestly thought it was more)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

HOTD, specifically Lucemond with some background pairings.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Forget me not

2. Hiding in plain sight

3. Fill my bleeding heart

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! However my timing is always so bad and it makes me feel shitty but I’m the sort of person who needs some time to think out what I wanna say + I get distracted very easily and forget to do so until weeks later. My responses are horribly late but my words are genuine.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hm, I guess it would be by latest oneshot featuring corpse queen Luke with a very mentally unwell Aemond. Very sad.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The ending isn’t published yet since the story won’t be completed for a while but Hiding in plain sight should be my happiest ending according to my plans. Crazy, I know.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I wouldn’t say I receive outright hate. Maybe a few backhanded responses every once in a while but it’s rare.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

YES! Very emotional, 9/10 there will be tears shed while they fuck nasty.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one

Sadly no. I don’t think I’m the type of person who could pull off clashing two different universes and their characters together. It’s a difficult thing to write in my opinion and the handful of crossovers I’ve downloaded so i’ll never lose them are god-tier. Takes a lot of talent me thinks.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge 🧐

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes. Its translated in spanish

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope. My process is a very long drawn out one that I don’t want to stress anyone out with while trying to work alongside me. Sometimes it’ll take me weeks or even months to get a chapter out. Im looking at you FMBH.

However I wouldn’t be co-writing something small if the plot interests me. Maybe four chapters or so? Idk

14. What's your all-time favourite ship

IchiRuki (bleach) and Braime. Samdean is a big one too.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Interesting enough I started a WIP when Lucemond was still new so around December-ish. It’s a dragon shifter AU but I don’t know where to take it so she’ll probably never see the light of day. Lol

16. What are your writing strengths?

Conveying emotions I think. Probably because i’ve been down the depression and crappy self image rabbit hole enough to express it in my works. Internal monologue is also one I’m good at.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing! Omg my pacing is ass. Everything is either too slow or too fast which leads to so much re-editing to get it all flowing in an appropriate time.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don’t do it because google translate isnt very accurate most of the time and language is so important. If I do feel writing dialogue in another language is that important i’ll ask someone who speaks it to help.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Well…does the shitty fic I wrote about Edward/Bella/Jacob in seventh grade count? Because if not then Lucemond it is lol

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Forget me not. She’s an icon, what can I say.

Tagging; @handsome-wise-strong @armonial

[posttexasstressdisorder]

So yeah...it's November...

We have not been given time to process the freak-ass crazy shit that happened in October, and a lotta freak-ass crazy shit went on.

Not sure why, just feelin' the need to report/vent while I sip coffee out here on the tumblr front porch with all the other old tumblr geezers.

Phase 2 of "Octember" has begun in a mix of good/weird/painful shit to work through. A lotta ghosts. Felt both Char and Kyle intensely the last few weeks: my two Gemini Ghosts. They're here but they're not here, and part of you wants them to stay and part of you wants them to leave you alone.

And yeah, money is still front and center in that assortment of emotional intensity. Much gratitude and thanks for the help that has gotten the rent and electric bill paid for yet another 30 days (you know who you are!).

My calculations this month were just a tiny (and ironic) amount off. After the dust settling, thinking I'd gotten it all considered, I ran through the numbers this morning before I left for the credit union, and saw I'd shaved it a little too close and after all was said and done, I was gonna be (drum roll please) $1.16 overdrawn. lulz.

No worries, I thought, being the resourceful hobbit I am I remembered I had a roll of quarters in the murse (what I call my patagonia shoulder bag) for laundry. Peeling off $1.25's worth of quarters, and laughing valiantly with the teller, I asked her to put that in with the roomie's half of the rent and bills.

Total came to a "lucky number" in her culture, and so I didn't think anything of it and got my rent check printed out and came home. Thought I'd (just to be sure) re-check the acct, much to my chagrin I'd mis-read the amt it was gonna be OD'd and hadn't put in quite enough quarters. So I'll head back over there tomorrow and deposit another quarter and laugh with the teller again. I don't wanna be overdrawn by ELEVEN CENTS. Handy dandy visual aid:

Yeah, I laughed, but goddamnit I am so fuckin' tired of the stress of this. The self-inflicted big lady ringing the bell paradin' yer ass around screaming "SHAME! SHAME!"

And then you just shut up and figure out what to make for dinner with what you have left on the eve before you go to the store.

October this year was a hard month on the planet. Lots of thin-veil coincidence/hoo-do shit, lots of miscommunicated things with roomies, with people while out, communication was hard, still is, but it seems to have lightened up some. Almost like gravity is getting stronger and pulling on us all more. Collective angst, personal angst, community angst, all of it just rushing up and saying hello at once.

One big angst for me has always been my fucking TEETH. My parents both had notoriously bad choppers, I know mine have been in need of workin'-on for awhile. I hadn't been to the dentist (before this round of visits) in well over 10 years. I had no insurance for most of my adult life, so I just never thought about it, unless something broke. Had several "It's cheaper to pull than fix" decisions about 20-25 years ago, and lost several back-teeth along with root canals and crowns on what was left. In short, a hot mess.

I have had Medi-Cal since I got into a wreck 3 months after i moved here (7 1/2 years ago), and just never thought that it might cover dental, since no other "insurance" I ever had in Texas ever coverd it. So once I figured out I can get my mouth looked at and worked on for nothing, I started the appointments a few weeks ago.

All of this leading up to this past Monday the 30th, when I got both the updated Covid jab and the current-season's flu-shot, and then went and got my mouth wrenched on and drilled and vacuumed and what-notted for a solid hour. Things have definitely progressed even in the last ten years. I thought I was looking at another surgical molar removal, but no!

They were basically able to use some kind of polymer that they put on and then the assistant pulls the trigger on a UV light-pen to "cure" it, and they do that several times, and completely rebuilt a broken tooth, and frankly, I'm amazed. It feels like the original tooth before it went south, and very little to no pain. And they numbed me up better for that than the last fucking oral surgeon who cut out my lower right back molar back in Texas did.

So a mix of crazy up/down shit, and then trying so goddamn hard to get the money thing right, and then still fucking it up, but comically inept. New-old tooth rocks, they want me back in April to do something else, and I'm fine. They told me to use a "hydropick" and I just looked doc and assistant in the eye and said "there's no money for things like that, I'm "I-brush-with-baking-soda-poor", and the assistant left and came back with a toothbrush, some floss, small bottle of mouthwash, and a little plastic syringe to use with warm salt water to flush the spaces under/between the crowns.

So mouth happy but goddamn, I have been sore for the last few days. Jab site almost done hurting, tooth as well, but muscles not quite recouped from the "Dentist Chair Death Grip"...I put my whole body into it and basically seize up and close my eyes and let them have their way with my mouth.

"Just lie back and think of California, dear!"

[anerdyfeminist]

Very long and self-centered work rant incoming.

I know I've referenced a few things about what a hard and weird time it is at work and honestly I've only said about 5% of the truth of what all I'm carrying and that is going on. The ambiguity around what happens w/ my role, in particular, is killing me. I'm not at risk of losing my job, but a major leadership transition is looming and it's all very confusing. The cut to the chase is that I don't know what my role actually is in the new FY, which starts in 3 weeks now. It's a total shit show and in the process, I've discovered that I could be making almost twice what I make now at different nonprofits in fundraising, in positions that carry about 1/3 the responsibility and weight of other people's roles/livelihoods, etc. (It really is true when you are someone who STAYS you get penalized financially.)

I've loved this mission and this team for nearly 14 years now but IDK how much longer I can wait through all this bullshit. Someone I know from the Austin nonprofit world reached out to me to offer me free career coaching bc she's getting her certification and needs guinea pigs and I don't mind being one because I just need HELP and some outside perspective on what I actually want to do as I am 18 years into my nonprofit career at this point.

At our last session she asked me if I ever think about what's best for me instead of constantly focusing in on what's best for this organization and like I knew that's a problem for me but I didn't KNOW-know it until she said it. It's sitting really heavy for me.

I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I'm going to for a second. I'm really good at my job. Like REALLY REALLY GOOD. Like award winning in my industry good. Like has a reputation as one of the few very healthy mangers/team leads of nonprofit fundraising in Austin good. (All 3 of my current direct reports at different times have told me they'll also plan their exits when I go, and I've successfully retained all of them for 5-10 years depending on when they joined.) Like have been attempted headhunted many times but haven't ever wanted to leave this mission before good. Like I wanted to see what's out there that may want me, and I've gotten 3 interviews w/in 2-3 days of contacting some recruiters or putting my resume out there good.

And it's all just making me so fucking sad because I don't WANT to leave, but I DO want to feel appreciated and seen and make the kind of money my peers are, for doing FAR FAR less work....or to at least feel as recognized by my current employer as I do these prospective new ones for how obviously awesome and valuable I am.

I've always been an authority-pleaser (ugh abuse baggage.) I've damaged myself tenaciously reaching goals that were too much, too hard, etc. I've been working now for 25 years in some form or another and I'm consistently told I'm a top performer...so why don't I feel like it here and now??? I started working as a babysitter and tutor when I was like 13, and I began pulling down "real" paychecks when I turned 16. Across the dozens of jobs I've had, I've never had a single corrective action taken against me...I've never been written up or fired. I barely have any listed areas of "needs improvement" on any of my reviews across ALL TIME. I don't say all of this because it's how i believe employees should act, but because I just want to paint a picture for you as to what a dream I am to have on a team because my sense of self-worth has been toxicly linked to what I do/produce and if I can get an A, and if the teacher/boss/lead loves me, since Day 1.

And HEY KIDS, GUESS WHAT??? It hasn't been worth it!!!!!

Thankfully, I do get to take care of myself fairly well in my current organization's culture and I do take time off and I don't have to pull crazy hours. But I also carry and "produce" and take care of way more than anyone else in my side of the org. Way more than anyone SHOULD. It's been admitted to me several times by leadership that I am "the agency's most precious human resource" (even if they don't make me feel that way by how I'm compensated or treated when it comes to this ambiguity.) But carrying this much means I've probably had 2-3 true incidents of burnout w/ my org in the pushing 14 years I've been with them, but I always somehow found a way to recover and get back to happiness or at least contentment.

I'm not sure if that's possible for me now, and it's largely due to the fact that our board doesn't know what they're doing and they are torturing someone who they really really depend on for the agency to stay afloat w/ unnecessary ambiguity. I'm drowning in the ambiguity.

[fuckyeahilike]

This guy is a physicist who became an expert on diabetes type 1 so he could save the life of his son Dave, who got diagnosed at the age of 9.

He quickly found out that doctors think of insulin as this magical potion that is like a get-out-of-jail-free card: as long as you inject your kid with extraordinarily large amounts of insulin every time he has a cake he can lead a "normal life", which for doctors means stuffing himself with the same crap food that makes normal kids diabetics type 2.

At no point do they discuss eating a very low carb diet or even a carnivore diet, because you have to be a vegetarian or die trying. BTW, the fate of those who eat large amounts of starch and sugar and then take in industrial amounts of insulin is pain, morbid obesity, blindness, lost limbs, shot kidneys, several trips a week to the hemodialisis room and very early death. That's not a normal life except in the mind of a doctor.

This part of his testimony, as an expert and as a father, is a terrifying eye-opener to what is going on.

Starting from minute 49:33 onward:

Dave has to wake up at night and take glucose or take insulin very frequently, so (even when you're doing low carb) you still have to be, less so, but you still have to be on the ball.

But imagine (when you're not doing low carb) being on the ball 24/7 but losing all the time. How depressing that life would be. You know, I'm constantly struggling with my diabetes, and now I've got gastroparesis, I can't get my blood sugar under control… Of course (not), and then they (the doctors) stand back and they go why are these people depressed? En masse? And then we have to treat the depression. And it's like, well guess what happens if you normalize your blood sugar, your depression drops to non-diabetic levels. But then they'll turn around and say well you'll be too depressed if you don't eat processed food!

I mean, it is, it is - I could talk to you for hours, Shawn (Dr. Shawn Baker), about the stories… it is a mad house, what with the doctors, the industry, the professional charities…

We went to, uh, Dave was a JDRF children's congress rep from Hawaii (where they live). You should see the food that they give the kids. They give the kids all this food - we sat at a table with 2 and 3 year old type 1 diabetics. You wouldn't believe how much carbohydrate these kids are eating, that was available to them. And, sure enough, about half an hour into the presentation you have a ballroom full of 400 or 500 children with all their parents… the symphony of CGM alarms going off from high blood sugars was nauseating!

And I think… you know, Dave and I still have kind of, like, a PTSD, I mean, we still talk about that (even though) this was almost 8 years ago that we went there; but it was just (unbelievable) the carnage that we saw, and the future that you knew these kids would have. It was astonishing! The (bad) advice that they were given, astonishing!

[susantaylor01]

How to Lose Facial Fat?

Facial fat makes you feel less sure and even embarrassed about how you look. While the concept of spot reduction is not scientifically proven, one can always lose facial fat by aiming for general weight loss combined with some specific lifestyle modifications. Here are some effective ways to give you a leaner face.

1. Diet with No Processed Foods

Anything you may want to do to lose fat can be done through diet. What is important is to have a diet comprising whole foods, fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. All this will help you lose body fat throughout your body, including the fat inside your face. Be very careful not to take sugary drinks, processed foods, and too much salt because they cause puffiness and bloating on one's face.

The trick that works behind it is that you are adding as much fiber and protein-rich food as possible, which will eventually make your stomach feel fuller for an extended period. You can hence avoid overeating.

2. Hydrate Your Body

The whole body needs enough intake of water, and that contributes to reducing facial fat too. When you drink enough water, it does not tend to remain in your body, and thus you can avoid all kinds of puffiness and bloating. Water also contributes to digestion and not overeating.

Tip: Have at least 8 glasses of water each day but introduce foods with high water composition, such as cucumbers and melons.

3. Facial Exercises

Facial exercises firm and build the muscles of the face, which would outline the face better. These exercises pinpoint a specific area of the face, which, over time, also tends to melt away fat deposits.

Facial Exercises: Some of the Most Common Exercises Chin Lifts - The head is to be leaned backward, and one should look up to the ceiling. Then, pucker your lips as if going to kiss the ceiling. Hold on for 10 seconds and repeat 10 to 15 times.

Release of the jaw: This exercise is done either in a seated or standing position, keeping your back straight. Chew as if chewing with the mouth shut while humming. After a few seconds, open the mouth wide, placing the tongue at the bottom teeth. Hold for 5 seconds and perform 10 times.

Fish Face: One sucks in his or her cheeks to make a fish face. Hold for 10 seconds and do 15 repetitions.

4. Regular Cardio Exercise

Aerobic workout, otherwise called cardiovascular exercise, has been effective in the burning down of body fat. Just a little jogging, cycling, swimming, and brisk walking will help you burn down calories hence reducing overall body fat that would eventually cut down facial fat.

Tips: Do at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity cardio in a week.

5. Avoid Alcohol Consumption

It is highly caloric and can make one gain weight; hence, puff up one's face. Excessive consumption of alcohol dehydrates the body; this probably leads to retention of water by the body, which might cause puffiness of your face.

Tips: Drink in moderation. Go for low-calorie drinks and hydrate yourself meanwhile with a glass of water.

6. Sleep Enough

It will promote weight gain as well as rising levels of cortisol, a fat-storing hormone around your middle. Poor sleeping patterns will puff up your face and dark circles to your eyes.

Tips: Your body needs 7-9 hours of good quality sleep each night to balance your hormones and rule out any possibility of gaining those extra pounds.

7. Use Less Salt and Sugar

Intake of excess salt and sugar gets stored in the body and generally tends to cause bloating and puffiness, especially of the face. Keeping this at an absolute minimum will work for your good in that it minimizes water retention within your body and makes the facial parts leaner.

Tip: Consume fruits; they have natural sugars in them. Say no to artificial foods, as besides added sugars, they also contain a tremendous amount of salt in them.

8. Chewing Gum

This is the exercise for your facial muscles in which just your cheeks and jaws would be working out. It will not melt fat directly; rather, it will also enable you to take a better shape in your facial structure.

Tip: Chomp sugar-free gum so that you are not adding in calories as well as promoting tooth decay.

Potent morning tea destroys 57lbs

9. Good Posture

This can also give your face a nice look just by the way that you make the placement of the neck and shoulder. For example, if you hunch over, you tend to seem as though you have a double chin, and standing or sitting tall makes your face a little thinner.

Tip: Be in the habit of reminding yourself about posture during the day, if you are going to be at your desk all day.

[mollynicolemurphy]

Growth…

Everyone keeps pointing out how well I’m handling this breakup. Every friend I speak to or spend time with echoes the very same sentiment. “I’m so proud of you.” They say with such a kind reassuring tone. But isn’t such a weird thing to be proud of someone for? Like I guess maybe they are just proud of the actions I’m taking, the perspective I have and they are not worried I’m gonna do anything stupid. I guess I’m not presenting as helpless or overly distraught or depressed like I have in the past. And it’s true, I am weirdly unattached to almost every outcome in my life right now. I just don’t feel like there is any other way anymore than just to let gooooooooo.

I let go of every expectation I had for myself and my future. It started with narrow one track view on having children. Once I started to reclaim the little girls inside of me that I’ve abandoned for my entire life, understand the subconscious beliefs I had around becoming a mother and what that meant… Then ultimately accepting what life God has presented to me instead… All answers inside my heart and soul have lead to no kids. I’m just not interested at all anymore.

Then of course there is marriage. The Seat of the Soul helped me see that there is no greater partnership than a union of two souls and anything else is just a mechanism to leads us to believe that we are safe and protected in the relationship. And with that, my expectation of being married one day was also lifted.

Then I started to examine my beliefs, the ones that lie beneath any conscious level of comprehension… The subconscious beliefs that are so deep it’s taken 6 books, 3 therapists, 2 sponsors, 1 relationship coach, lots of writing, meditation and countless conversations with friends to discover in a matter of two short weeks. And for someone that has had trouble understanding and processing what I’m feeling, I’d say getting to enough pain forced me to start sifting, sorting and figuring it all out.

So I guess that is something to be proud of… the untangling of deep interwoven beliefs and expectations through my entire being. The surrender to self and to my higher power in a way that I never have before. The ability to sit in discomfort and recognize when shame or blame are trying to take control.

It’s been a journey. A journey back to grace. A surrender to pretty much everything I thought was happening or going to happen. An arrival at what I’m actually feeling in this present moment in time….

Acceptance. Peace. And an excitement for all of the adventures to come. A journey into then unknown.

Growth.

[mikeanzivino]

Mike Anzivino, Realtor extraordinaire, shares his top tips for buying or selling a home

Are you looking for the Best Realtors in Fort Myers. If so, you'll want to read what Mike Anzivino has to say. He's been in the real estate business for over 20 years and has developed some tips that will help you get the most out of your home buying or selling experience.

Tips for Buying or Selling a Home

1. Do your research

One of the first things you'll need to do before either buying or selling a home is do your research. This means understanding the current market and trends, as well as what other homes in your desired price range are currently selling for. If you're looking to buy, be sure to ask around and get estimates from different professionals; while, if you're selling, be prepared to put in a lot of hard work.

2. Get pre-approved for a mortgage

Before even starting the home-buying or home-selling process, it's important to get pre-approved for a mortgage. This way, you'll know exactly how much money you can afford to spend on a property and won't waste any time getting started only to have financing pulled at the last minute.

3. Don't put all your eggs in one basket

When it comes to buying or selling a home, it's important not to put all your eggs in one basket – especially if that basket is an expensive one! Make sure you have multiple offers on hand and compare prices carefully so that you don't end up overpaying for something that won't appreciate in value over time.

4. Get professional help

If you're planning on buying or selling a home solo, be sure to get professional help.

Tips for Preparing for a Home Sale

1. Understand your budget – Before you start any home search or buying process it is important to have a good understanding of your available funds and what you are looking for in a home. This will help you focus on properties that fit within your budget and avoid overspending on something you may not be able to maintain long term.

2. Get pre-approved for a loan – Once you know your budget, it is important to get pre-approved for a loan so that you can get started with your home search as quickly as possible. A pre-approval will give you peace of mind and allow you to begin the process of finding the right property without worrying about financial hurdles.

3. Use online tools – There are many great online tools available that can help you find the perfect home, including websites like real geeks. These tools make it easy to browse through different properties and get an idea of what is available in your area.

4. Look for homes near schools and amenities – When looking for a home, it is important to consider whether or not it is close to schools or other amenities that will be convenient for your family. This way, you won’t have to spend extra time traveling to meet all of your needs.

5. Ask around – Another great way to find the right home is by talking to friends, family members, or other professionals in the market who can give you valuable insight

Tips for Handling Negotiations

1. Know your market. Whether you're buying or selling, make sure to know the current market conditions and what's happening in your neighborhood.

2. Establish a budget. Figure out how much you can afford to spend on a home, as well as what kind of mortgage you qualify for.

3. Be prepared to walk away. If an offer doesn't meet your expectations, don't be afraid to walk away from the negotiation process. There are plenty of other houses out there that may be a better fit for you!

4. Take your time. Don't rush through the negotiations process; it will only lead to frustration on both sides. It can take weeks or even months to purchase or sell a home, so make sure to plan ahead and have patience!

5. Make sure you have all of the paperwork ready before beginning negotiations. Having all of the necessary documents in hand will make the process go more smoothly and help prove your case if something does go wrong along the way!

Conclusion

Mike Anzivino is a real estate extraordinaire and he shared some of his top tips with us today. If you're looking to buy or sell a home, be sure to check out Mike's blog for all the information you need. He is an expert at helping people find their perfect home and he will help make the process as smooth as possible. Thanks, Mike!

[hasilopgesvi06]

14 Magical Manifesting Levels of Climbing to Lotto Jackpot

At any age, we continue to dream. Dreaming is healthy. But, if we will not take action, our dreams will remain an ephemeral dreams forever. The time flies. If you have been dreaming about making a change to get better results in the lottery field, today is the most appropriate day to start. The time flies quickly. That is why, I give you 14 verified stairs to climb quickly.

1} The initial step. All you have to do is to decide to learn how to win the lottery. If you need a few days to decide, decide now that you start today your thinking process that will lead to the final decision.

2} Transformations do not happen spontaneously, nor overnight, especially if you are not in your first youth. But what is important to know, it is the fact that, mo matter your age, you can change your life for the better at any age.

3} " I start today" positive statement. Just do not say:" I will start from tomorrow". Instead of, say: "I start today". The time flies taking your energy away. Tell, or write, or sing this statement daily, every day until your final decision.

4} Physical change. I recommend you to take a simple but effective physical change too. And make it each day as it comes. Time is the ingredient that will help you accomplish a better healthy status. It is one of those things that you can handle easily. You should be ready for tomorrow.

5} First exercise. Start today this exercise. Sit or lay down comfortable. Breathe deeply ten times Cashpot and close your eyes. Start visualize how every muscle is relaxing and enter gradually into sweet magical feeling of realization. Practice this exercise every day and manifesting function will only get easier and faster. I guarantee. Just for 10 minutes on day, let yourself become completely absorbed in the feeling that your specific desire of winning the lottery, is going to manifest in your reality, with every minute that is passing. Feel intensively how your desire is materialized. And see it clearly in your mind.

6} Another effective exercise takes an hour per week. Choose a day this week to relax deeply and completely for two hours. When you feel that you are relaxed, enter into your body, any way you want, and control what is inside there. See how your organs work into perfect harmony and feel joyous. Begin to ask forgiveness from each organ, for the mistakes you have made to them over the years. It is worth millions of dollars. And it opens the door to a healthy status.

7} Enroll your mind. Lotto requests the involvement of your mind. When your mind is involved, you will gain a better understanding of your system and then, you can find more rapidly the best solution for you. In fact, when your mind is involved, every desire you have, can be satisfied.

8} Believing is the key. It is a fact that I verified thousands times. If you are a feeling of doubt, you never can get anything. On the contrary, when you are believing in what you do, the realization appears very soon. Your mind is a powerful manifesting weapon, and it is always attracting whatever you desire, Please, enroll your mind in the battle for happiness.

9} Start today to manifest. I found a short positive affirmation can change your life completely for the better and immediately. This is your day to start manifesting your desire of winning the lottery. .Every day, say "thank you" to who you are, how you are, what you are and where you are. Saying "thank you", every day, you gain the power of manifesting your desire fast. But there is a physiologic sign that shows you when this affirmation began to work. You will feel like you are thirsty and you go to the bathroom often. This will happen for a day or two until your body eliminates a good portion of the toxins collected in the body. After that you will feel a relief throughout the body and a permanent well-being feeling.

10} Eliminate the feeling of limitation of any kind. This is the most dangerous feeling that keep you back and prevent you choose what is really good for you. This is also the cause why you did not win at lotto until now. Now it is the time to go on a practical and inspirational way.

11} Prepare yourself for this new way. In order to win the lottery, you need to gain the necessary skills for such process. This thing takes time, perseverance and rigorous work.

12} Lotto is fundamentally different from other games. In this system, there is not separation between past, present and future. You will learn that the system contains this information as one reality, at any time, in one place and it is ready for who wants to learn it.

13} Lotto is a predictable system. It works by precise rules of functionality. So, when you learn them, you will be able to apply them for future predictions.

14} Combination of methods. You can learn a few methods that will shorten your way to big money.

[atsukawolfcat]

To Appease

Note: Hello lovely people, I have brought to you the next chapter of the pregnant isekai reader series! I will dub the series You Brought This To Yourselves (YBTTY) after the first chapter that started it all. I have been struggling in thinking of a name for the child, or if I should give them one in the first place to keep it as gender-neutral as possible. A possible name could be Angel since it could be either a gender-neutral name or a nickname, but let me know what you think! Enjoy!

Warnings: Female reader, pregnancy mentioned, the reader had a child, not proofread(yet)

Taglist: @the-real-fandom-person

Credit: @boredandelusive

1 | 2 | 3 (You are here!) | 4

Masterlist

The forest was kind to you and your infant child, leading you to food and the wildlife serving as your guardians for a time while you recovered. You looked around and chuckled, thinking back to your cozy home. You pondered for weeks before the birth of your baby if this was just an all too vivid dream, but the lingering scars on your heart and flesh felt too real for you to try to dismiss now. You looked at your arms to see your bundle of joy peacefully taking a nap, and you thought of what to do. There were options for sure, but you seethed at the thought of going to the settlements or towns of any sort. Although it had been about 2 days, you were plagued with nightmares from your months of ill-treatment. Your baby was your only sense of comfort now, considering your little Hilichurl friends were now gone.

You had wandered around the forest, which you were sure wasn't on the map last you remembered in the game. You did remember faintly spawning in more dense trees when you went berserk, but that made it a bit difficult to maneuver around. Which would be perfect to delay any pursuit, but you were also thoroughly confused. Luckily your animal friends were able to guide you to a small clearing and water nearby. You had gotten yourself and your baby cleaned up while the foxes and rabbits brought over food, mostly nearby fruits and vegetables.

Your baby gave a toothless smile at you, flapping their tiny hands around as if trying to give you a hug. You inhaled sharply and brought your baby to your chest in a gentle, motherly hug. 'Oh, what to do. What could I name you?' You have had ideas of course, but none of them seemed to fit your child. Even if you wanted to name them right now, your focus shifted to what transpired days prior. 'That power... I haven't felt it since then.'

Your power seemed to have faded back to the basics, which was just the hum of energy over your skin and the prickle at your neck to warn you of danger, as well as your environment bending to your needs. Nothing of that was from your direct "will" or "ordered", so you aren't sure how to process this. You sighed and focused back on your child, and looked them over to make sure they are okay. You were surprised that everything had proceeded smoothly during the labor, which was really lucky considering your current situation. You heard a snap of a branch, and you immediately stood with your baby in your arms to prepare to either run... or fight.

Ayaka emerged with Mona, both with their heads bowed and hands up. Diona and Klee followed close behind, peeking at you from behind the two girls and Diona gave a shy smile while Klee grinned happily at seeing you. The two children saw your apprehensive expression and tugged at the clothes of Ayaka and Mona. Both girls looked up at you, and despite their in-depth planning beforehand, could not think of anything to say. Ayaka lowered down to her knees and placed her hands on the floor, and let her forehead touch the ground. "Your- Your Grace, we humbly apologize for what you have gone through. We understand this could never be enough to wipe away all the suffering, we hope that you could give us a chance."

If your jaw could unhinge from its place and meet the floor, it would. THE Kamisato Ayaka was here, with 3 others as witnesses, and basically dogeza in front of you. You were taken aback, but you also heard the sincerity in Ayaka's voice. There was something bothering you though...

"Kamisato Ayaka, if memory serves, are you not located in Inazuma? You are quite far from home, little miss." You narrowed your eyes to the white-haired girl and watched as she stiffened under your gaze. "I also would like to know, why are you apologizing? It was not your people who had terrorized me for months and almost had me killed just a few days ago. So why are you here?" Your gaze shifted from Ayaka to Mona, who recoiled upon realizing your gaze on her. Klee raised her little hand, hopping in place as she waved her arm to get your attention.

"Oh! Oh! I know this one! Uhm! The people who had powers had gathered together to welcome you, and were meeting in Liyue as Miss Mona had seen you meet everyone there!" You held back a laugh at the cute gesture of the little Spark Knight. 'Smart, they brought children here that could possibly double as guards and the like, considering I had them built enough to do some damage.' Your gaze went back to Ayaka, who felt your eyes back on her and nodded in agreement.

"That is correct. The Shogunate had been summoned along with some Vision holders, which included Yoimiya and myself. My brother had stayed back to help keep the city running."

"I see. Thank you. Please, get up Ayaka. I am sure it's not comfortable to stay like that." You approached them, still weary, but you felt that you could trust them. For now. You gently grabbed Ayaka's hand to help her up, and your baby coo'ed at the girl. Her face brightened with a smile, and she stared at your child. You turn your attention to Mona, who was still awkwardly standing next to Ayaka, and now in front of you.

"I-I am so sorry, Your Grace! If only I had seen it before-" You raised your free arm and your palm facing her. You chuckled and patted her head.

"Its alright, Mona. I know you do not like using your scryglass constantly, and I myself did not expect to.. erm... appear so suddenly. I just... need some time to recover." Your eyes clouded as you spoke, the months of running playing in your mind again. You shook your head free of it, and focused back on your baby. "I am sure you four are not here on your own. Who else is here, and what is your goal?"

"We just wish to give you comfort, Your Greatness. Have your wounds treated and looked at by a doctor. Your meals served, and everything else in between! We just wish to.. help you rest." Mona rubbed her arm, still feeling guilty over not seeing you in her scryglass sooner. You recoiled, immediately put off by the thought of being served by others, much less by people who hurt you.

"No." You gently shifted your baby to the other arm and walked back to the middle of the clearing. "I will not see anyone fro-"

"Your Grace, I apologize to interrupt you but rest assured it will be the Vision holders who will serve you. We have brought Thoma, Xiangling, and Qiqi for now to assist you. We could also provide you a small house or whatever you would like for shelter!" Ayaka followed behind you, almost hovering over you. You can tell she won't let it down, and honestly, you were hoping to hear what she said. You were exhausted from everything, and only having two days of rest was not enough. The only thing that made you think otherwise was your child.

"I understand Thoma, as I hear he is an excellent housekeeper, and with his gentle demeanor, I could be at ease. But.. Qiqi? Would Barbara not make more sense?" You looked back at Ayaka, and she stopped in her tracks.

"Barbara would have been a wonderful addition, however..." Mona stepped towards you, now looking more composed. "She had to stay behind to help treat the soldiers and erm.. help clean up. We had thought Qiqi and Diona would be more than capable to help you if needed."

"Let me guess, and let me be more comfortable?" Mona and Ayaka nodded, looking over the two children who were now running around giggling and playing about, not even paying attention to the conversation. You sighed for the nth time and pondered for a moment. You felt a slight tugging of your shirt and looked down to see your baby gripping the fabric while tiredly blinking. You smiled and rocked yourself gently to help them fall asleep, which they did soon after.

"Alright, fine. Please bring them, might as well get this over with." You heard quiet cheering from the four girls and they grinned brightly at you. "If you could, please bring a change of clothes and-"

"Yes, of course. Anything you need, Your Holiness!" Mona quickly turned around and disappeared into the dense forest. You and Ayaka laughed at the excited Mona, but relief finally ran through your body as you relaxed more. Hopefully, everything will be better from now on.

[lollypopsx]

Flatmate! Harry: I’ll Make It Up To You - Part 1

Warnings: Swearing, slight angst 

Please like if it’s not too shabby, reblog for anyone who may enjoy this and follow if you want to see more! Any suggestions are happily taken for future writing! I love you all! be safe and be kind x

Part 2 - Part 3

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You was going to kill him. This was the last straw and you had used up every ounce of patience today.

“Harry Edward Styles! Get in here right now or I swear to fucking god you won’t ever breath again!” You shout, your hands clutching the towel wrapped around your body. Your hair styled in a bouncy blow dry with a full face of makeup, a brown smoky eye and a nude lip.

The two of you bicker and argue like enemies, laugh like the best of friends and love each other like a married couple. Although you were only flat mates and nothing had ever gone further than friends, you knew Harry would never see you in that way, however the tiniest part of you had always hoped one day you’d be proven wrong. But you knew all along you’d rather have him as a best friend than lose him all together.

You hear the footsteps round the corner and a grin like the Cheshire Cat plastered on Harrys face “Do you mind? I’m trying to write some music Y/N” he smirks.

“Where the hell are all my clothes?! And where the fuck is my guitar?!” You shout angrily. You were no stranger to practical jokes in this house, both giving and receiving them. But today was different. You had the most important audition of your lifetime, and half of your room had been emptied. 

The laughter escaping Harry’s lips was making you angrier and angrier by the second. “I told you that you’d regret stealing my jumpers!” He smirks.

“That doesn’t mean you take everything I own! Now where to hell is it all?!”

“Ah now you see…this is where it gets fun…you see we’ve made you a little scavenger hunt to find it all. All you have to do is-”

“We?! Who’s we?!” You growl through gritted teeth.

“Ok ok…I can’t take all the credit for this…Niall helped. So…here’s the rules!”

“Harry!” You cut him off “I don’t have time for a fucking scavenger hunt! I have my audition in an hour and I’m already running late! Just get me some fucking clothes and my guitar so I can leave!”

As soon as you had mentioned your audition, the smug grin fell from Harrys face and his rosy cheeks had drained to pale “oh shit. T-that’s today?! I…I thought it was Friday” he frowns “w-well all your stuff is in Niall’s car and he’s in Brighton so I can just get him to drive back asap and…” he fumbles for his phone quickly.

“Brighton?! Harry you have 3 seconds to tell me this is a joke before I rip your pretty little head off! That’s 2 hours away Harry! I’ll never make it in time!”

“Y/N I’m so sorry! I am I really am, I would never have done this today if I knew” Guilt filling his eyes.

“You knew Harry! It’s written on the fridge, on the calendar and you helped me rehearse two days ago!”

“Why don’t I just go and buy you something to wear?” He offers, although he was currently terrified to speak incase his head really did get ripped off. He hadn’t seen you this angry since you pierced holes in three of your ex-boyfriends tyres after finding out he cheated.

“Well that’s pointless because I haven’t got my guitar and you don’t even have your acoustic guitar here. Forget it Harry. Just get out.” You mutter, your head hanging low in disappointment. Even if you left now you’d be late, and that was frowned upon. Turning up anywhere late was bad enough, let alone an audition. If you’re going to turn up late, then there’s no point turning up at all because you wouldn’t even be given a chance. The entertainment business was a difficult place to be, and this was your one chance to really make something bigger for yourself and it was ruined.

“Y/N I…”

“I said get out!” You scream, releasing the built up fury “go and join Niall in Brighton for all I fucking care. Leave me alone. I’m so disappointed Harry” you felt the tears threatening to spill down your cheeks.

The sight of you on the verge of tears was enough to break his heart. He wanted to protest, he wanted to make it all better. But he knew you too well. He knew if he didn’t leave you alone to calm down then it would make everything worse than it already was. He had never felt so guilty. In the 4 years you had lived together, practical jokes never made either of you angry. Sure they were embarrassing at times, but you two always had the best of times. At what made it even worse this time was that he had made you cry…and you’d used the ‘D’ word on him!

Harry had left, shutting the front door quietly as he headed to the studio to get out of your hair for a few hours. Also calling Niall in the process to get him to get the fuck home asap. It may have seemed like a pretty extreme joke, but they didn’t intend it to turn out this way. The plan was that the scavenger hunt would lead you to Brighton with Harry to meet Niall there, and the three of you would spend the day and night by the beach, shopping, drinking, eating...everything that you loved to do.

As hours passed, you found yourself tucked under the mountain of blankets on the sofa, wearing a pair of Harry’s boxers, joggers and a white hoodie. Which you purposely chose because your makeup rubbed off on the collar and the sleeves as you wiped your tears. 

You felt deflated and disappointed. You should have been more prepared...no actually, Harry shouldn’t of been a dick. You knew he didn’t mean to jeopardize your audition, but these auditions didn’t come along often and part of you just wasn’t ready to let this go yet.

Harry crept in quietly, although you didn’t hear him, or at least you didn’t want to. “ Hey...Y/N” he whispers softly, walking through the living room door cautiously.

“Hm?” you mutter, not allowing yourself to speak a word to him, and especially making sure your eyes were glued to Netflix, not giving him the satisfaction of paying attention.

“I...I got you these” He whispers, placing a big bouquet of red roses and white lilies on the glass coffee table in front of you. You looked straight passed them “Oh wow...maybe I should send these over to the directors and producers to say sorry and maybe they can make an exception for little Y/N to try again!” you state sarcastically, but your facial expression staying as blank as possible.

He sighs softly and perches himself on the arm of the sofa, he gently pulls your shoulders back for you to rest your back against his thigh. “I know it doesn’t change what I did Y/N, and believe me if I could of changed anything I would, and if I could turn back time, I’d do anything”

“You really fucked up Harry” you whisper, your voice cracking gently as you wiped your tears on the sleeve of his hoodie. “You don’t get it. You’re Harry Styles and you get everything handed to you on a plate because everyone already knows who you are! You’ve done what like...three auditions in your life and you’ve succeeded every single one. It’s not like that for me. I spent hours and hours practicing. And weeks just writing these songs in hope they get heard one day and now they won’t because word spreads really quick in this industry.” You still couldn’t bring yourself to look into his eyes, because you hated people seeing you cry. 

He sighed softly, staying silent as he pulled you up gently and sitting himself underneath you as he wrapped his arms around you tightly. He was always the first to help you rehearse when you had an audition, the first to comfort you if it went wrong or you didn’t succeed, and the first to celebrate and congratulate you when you did get it. Unfortunately, this time no one will ever know how it would have gone. He knew he couldn’t say much else because he knew you were right.  

You wanted to resist, but instead you buried your face into his chest and whimpered softly. As disappointed as you were, you knew Harry was truly sorry and he’d hang onto this guilt for a while. He held you close as his gentle fingers raked through your hair.

“I’ve put everything back in your room, all folded and neat” He whispers “I’ll make it up to you. I promise” He kept his arms around you supportively, although his chest was heavy with guilt, he already had a plan conjuring in his mind. 

—————————

[chaoschaoswriting]

How to Unfuck Your Body in a Few Days (Advice from a Mentally ill Adult)

Mental illness takes a toll on your body, there’s no denying it. There’s also no denying that some of the damage done to your body by prolonged mental health issues is irreversible, and most takes months or even years to reverse and repair. 

So when I say ‘how to unfuck your body in a few days’, what I mean is ‘how to make your body feel better and give it a chance to even start healing in a few days’.... but that’s not half as catchy. So, full disclosure here - there is no easy path out of a deep dark hole. If your mental health problems have caused you to gain or lose huge amounts of weight, reversing this will take time, if your mental health problems have caused your teeth serious damage there may be no way to reverse it. 

But what we can do is make your body feel a little more like home again, soothe some aches and pains, and prevent more damage. Here’s my advice. 

So, You’ve Stopped Caring for Your Body - Daily Tasks to Begin Healing

We’ve all been there, my friend, and its a shitty place to be. In this place, here, right now, however, there’s no judgement. If you’re reading this, its because you’re getting ready to start showing yourself some care again, or maybe because you’ve reached the end of your tether and you don’t know what else to do. 

If you feel that lost, taking a little better care of your meat prison isn’t the worst idea in the world. Remember, no matter how at odds you are with your mind, your body is your friend and they deserve praise, not punishment. There are two main steps that you need to think about here: medical care and basic care.

If you’ve been ill for a long time, there’s a chance that your body isn’t as healthy as it should be. Take a deep breath, survey the damage. Long-term, chronic depression can lead to issues like gingivitis (that’s gum disease to those with limited exposure to affordable medical and dental care), bed sores, infections of the scalp and skin, hair loss, and even things like IBS. 

Most of the more serious things will require medical care, but if you can’t afford it here are some basic tips that might help. 

1. Clean Sores and Wounds

Wash your hands and nails thoroughly and then clean any areas with open sores or wounds on your body. If you don’t have antibacterial washes or creams, boil some water and add salt so that roughly a quarter of the volume is salt. If that’s too complex, boil a mug of water and put two heaping teaspoons in it (that’s not what’s recommended, but its what I do and I find it effective). 

Any open wounds and sores should be kept clean - cover them when you’re outside or if it is likely to come into contact with fabric and surfaces that could introduce infection, but letting it dry a little in the air can be a good idea. If you have serious concerns about a wound, seek medical advice. 

2. Wash Your Body and Hair (Do This Every Second or Third Day at Least)

A good shower or bath will be better for your nerves and mind, but if you really can’t face it get a clean wash cloth and wash your face, neck, underarms, groin, and feet at the very least. Once you’re done give any undamaged skin a vigorous rub with a clean, dry towel to soak up some grease and dislodge dirt and dead skin. 

Likewise with your hair - if you can’t quite bring yourself to undertake a full shampoo and condition at least massage your scalp with warm water and brush it through your hair before scrunching with a towel. Once again, a full wash in a shower or bath would be best, but anything worth doing is worth starting - do your best. 

3. Brush Your Teeth

Gently, with warm water and toothpaste. Take your time, brush your tongue too, and try not to upset your gums if they are already inflamed. If you don’t have mouthwash, gargle with salt water. 

4. Moisturize

This isn’t frivolous - your skin and hair need oils to protect them. A plain, unscented moisturizer, or even a light oil like coconut oil (which can go on hair and skin) will do. This might feel and look greasy at first, but we’re talking about healing your body and hair, not making them photoshoot ready. 

Let them soak in and put on clean, loose clothes that let your body breath. Take a deep breath. 

5. Drink Some Water, Eat Something Fresh

Yes, fresh food isn’t always accessible, but when you’re pulling yourself out of a rut its worth the effort to find some fresh fruit that you enjoy. Hell even a bowl of oatmeal or porridge and a glass of milk will do. Your body is probably crying out for vitamins and minerals, and whether you realize it or not, processed food can make you feel like crap. 

In short, find the least processed, most accessible meal you can and have it with some water. Whether thats a fresh cooked dinner or a few apples and a handful of cheese, just leave the pop tarts and takeout food alone. 

6. Kill Your Pain, Get a Nap

I know you feel like all you’ve done is sleep (unless you’re an unlucky insomniac), but Depressed Sleep is not Good Sleep. Take a few painkillers if you need them and rest for an hour or two every day until you start to recover. Even if you can’t sleep, rest. Go easy on your body - give it peace and comfort. 

If you do this, you should notice that your body begins to health and recover over the next week or so. If it doesn’t, you may need to seek medical care. Serious infections or medical fatigue really aren’t the kind of thing you should treat alone. 

Most of all, remember that your body needs time to heal - it took time to deteriorate, after all. Your mental health won’t suddenly become impeccable because your meat shell is well moisturized, clean, and fed, of course, but having one that’s basically as happy as you can feasibly make it will certainly remove some burdens from your mind. 

[strawberryspence]

A Dinner and A Future

Fluff | Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: Spencer just wants your first date to be perfect and surprisingly, it goes really well.

Word Count: 3,7k.

Warnings: some cursing, first date nerves, but that's it. just pure mindless fluff.

Writer’s Note: Hello! I've been going through a writing dry spell and the thing that solved it was writing this. I've been seeing a lot of edits on tiktok about Spencer's traumas and I just wanted to give him something simple and happy. I was also listening to Kodaline on repeat while reading this, so yeah it's going be hella sappy. Enjoy! <3

Gif is mine. Lesley Smith-Juniment, you have my heart.

Spencer is nervous.

Wait no, scratch that, nervous is not good enough. He was brimming to the edge with worry and queasiness. What other synonyms does nervous have? Spencer was antsy, anxious, perturbed, uneasy, at this point he can recite the whole thesaurus.

Spencer closes his eyes and takes a deep breathe. He can do this. He has waited for this for a long time and he won’t waste it because of burnt pasta.

Okay, he looks back at the note that David Rossi himself wrote in his own special handwriting.

1. Cook 1 pound pasta until Al Dente. Boy Genius, Al Dente should be firm when bitten. You cook it on a boiling water with salt and oil. SALT AND OIL.

2. While that’s cooking, do nothing. LITERALLY DO NOTHING. Watch it. Do the sauce later. In some miraculous way, if you don’t watch the pasta you’ll burn it.

A grin spreads across Spencer’s face as he puts down the paper and reaches for the fettuccine pasta and dropping it on the boiling water (which he measured with measuring cups he borrowed from JJ)

“Okay, now I wait for it to boil.” Spencer stares at the pasta as it cooks. Did he buy enough parmesan cheese? or enough pecorino cheese? Oh no. He looks over the other side of his counter where all the (complete) ingredients sit and he sighs in relief as if he hasn’t checked it 15 times since he started.

The pasta was still cooking and isn’t going to be firm anytime soon. Spencer ponders if he should just cook the sauce while waiting but he knows he’s going to mess it up if he doesn’t give it his undivided attention.

He looks at the watch on his wrist as it ticks to 5:21. He has one hour, thirty nine minutes and forty six seconds. He still has time before the date. The date with you.

It took him nine months, Derek and Emily annoying him to death to just ask the pretty librarian out, one extensive background research from Penelope, two separate talks of the “You deserve to be happy” advice from JJ and Hotch and one lecture about marriage from Rossi to finally ask you out.

He’s kinda annoyed really because he spent so much time thinking about you and thinking of the perfect way to ask you out but he shows up at the library you work at one day with a cup of coffee in hand and his heart on the other.

You didn’t even hesitate. There was no pause to process what he asked, there was no questions following the embarrassing stumbling of the words, “W-will you go have d-dinner with me? L-like a date... Date?” You immediately said yes with a small hop and the biggest smile on your face.

This date has to be perfect. He asked you to come to his apartment at 7. Spencer would’ve picked you up but he was making you a home made dinner and the date was taking place on the rooftop of you apartment, which Penelope and Derek helped him decorate with lights.

He tries the pasta and when its finally firm to the bite, he takes this as his queue to read the paper again. Of course, he can remember all of the instructions but Rossi still wrote it down and reading it calms his nerves.

3. If its cooked, drain your pasta water but leave a little pasta water on the side. Then you can continue.

4. In a pan on MEDIUM heat (just around 2-3 on the stove setting) cook one pound diced pancetta and 1 cup chopped onions in olive. Put this down and chop chop!

Spencer puts the paper down as he follows the instructions to drain the pasta. After he was done with it he puts the pan on the stove and starts chopping up the ingredients he needs.

Cooking is strangely calming. He never thought he’d find it calming. He always found himself burning stuff. So he sticks to the microwaveable meals and fast foods, even if he knows the statistics about these kinds of food.

After finishing the chopping he reaches over the paper and reads it again.

5. Are you done? Okay. Put the chopped stuff on the pan with olive oil and cook it until the pancetta is browned and onions are soft.

He immediately follows the instructions written. The onion and pancetta create a silent hiss as it hits the pan. As it cook he looks down again.

6. That’s going to take a while, so leave it but stay by its side. I am giving you permission to do two things at once. Dr. Reid, please be mindful of it.

Spencer rolls his eyes before proceeding to #7.

7. Combine the two cheeses. Then divide it in half. Then pour the half into 4 egg YOLKS. Just yolks! The yellow ones! Then beat it lightly until its really combined.

He has already separated the egg yolks from the whites (a job he didn’t think would be that hard but was surprisingly very hard) before he started cooking. He adds the combination of cheeses to the eggs and lightly beats it as he watches the pan of onions and pancetta sizzle.

When done with the egg and cheese combo, he gives the pan a stir before looking back down.

8. Is the egg done? Yes? Good. Is the pancetta and onion good? Yes? Good.

9. Okay, now you put your pasta in the pancetta pan.

10. REMOVE IT FROM THE HEAT! REMOVE IT!

Spencer follows the instructions to the T. He puts the pasta on the pancetta, gives it a stir and immediately removes it from the heat. He sighs in relief. He hasn’t burned anything yet.

11. You haven’t burned anything yet? I am proud of you.

12. Now, pour the egg mixture into the pan and toss the pasta until coated. TOSS IT GENTLY. If you’re scared use tongs.

13. Pour about 1/4 cup of the pasta water I told you to set aside earlier. You don’t have to pour all 1/4 cup, just until you get the creaminess you want.

Spencer reaches over the nearest tongs. He’s not going to toss anything tonight that involves pastas or pans. He’s taking the safe road because he wants everything to be perfect.

14. Add the rest of your cheese! Toss some more and then add salt and pepper as NEEDED!

15. You can serve it with parsley.

16. Now, go take a shower and change into some cleaner clothes.

17. Just be you and have fun, Spencer. Goodluck! :)

Spencer smiles as he puts the paper down and makes the finals touches to the pasta. He starts doing what was instructed and it surprisingly, ends up in the perfect texture. Just like the one he tasted when Rossi had a pasta night.

He was proud of himself as he takes it off the stove and makes sure that all the stoves are turned off. There was this report he read in 2018, that cooking and leaving the stove open was the leading cause of home fires.

He takes the food, puts it into a fancy tupperware (another thing he borrowed from JJ) and puts it in the microwave. He cleans up a little and stuffs the pans and pots to the dishwasher, because you are coming in his apartment even for a second.

He starts getting himself ready for the date with a shower. As the warm water glides through his body he thinks of how funny life could be.

Spencer first meets you in the library. He has not slept well in weeks so instead he opts to go to the library to get some reading done. But as soon as he sits in one of the (surprisingly) comfortable leather chairs, its as if sleep knocks him out. It wasn’t until the closing time that you wake him up and he thinks that you were an angel sent for him. This elicits a giggle from you.

“I am sorry, I am not an angel. I am just the librarian and we’ve been close for over an hour now. I just didn’t want to wake you up. You looked like you really needed that sleep.” Spencer immediately jumps to his feet as he apologizes profusely to the kind librarian, “Oh, it’s okay! Don’t say sorry. I was also reading so I didn’t mind the peace and quiet.”

That’s how Spencer meets you. He comes back a few days later after a case with coffee, croissant and an apology. You immediately become friends and thats how all of this started. Spencer finds himself falling in love with the kind, gorgeous, clever librarian faster than he expected.

Every week after that, Spencer comes to the library with pastries and coffees for his favourite librarian and every week, you welcome Spencer with a warm smile and a new book for him to read. He can read it in one sitting but he reads it in the slowest pace he could so it can last for a week.

Spencer comes out the shower and stares at his closet. Should he go casual or formal? Casual or formal? Its just dinner, he’s chill and casual is the way. He picks one of the few plaid shirts that he has and puts it on with a white shirt underneath. He tries to brush his hair, it sits for a moment before it starts curling again. He cringes but leaves it be.

Spencer proceeds to the kitchen to start packing the food into a wicker basket (that he also borrowed from JJ, he basically borrowed her whole kitchen). He packs the utensils in a table napkin that comes with the basket. The main course for the date was the carbonara, and the dessert was a tiramisu Penelope made.

He reaches over his sofa where the bouquet of paper flowers are. He made it a few nights ago with Penelope’s help. He stayed up to make more of it with old books he found in the BAU.

Because what kind of flowers is the best flowers for librarians? Origami flowers made with old book pages.

He shouldn’t be nervous. You’ve been friends for all the months that he didn’t have enough courage to ask you out. You’ve taken trips to old bookstores together for book hunting. This shouldn’t be different from your other trips.

The pitter patter of rain against his window takes him out of his thoughts.

“Shit! Is it raining!?” Spencer yelps, before opening the closed curtains. Beads of water runs down his windows and if its any other day he would love it. But not tonight, when he planned a rooftop date. He cringes as he thinks of the fairy lights hanged up and the table set up that is probably soaked now.

“Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Think, Spencer, think.” Spencer thinks fast. He finds the extra table cloth that JJ gave him because “Just in case.” He reminds himself to buy her a bottle of wine as a thank you. He places it in his small kitchen table before taking the utensils out of the basket and placing it on the table in a fancy way.

Candles. Does he have candles? Spencer scrambles around his kitchen, like a chicken without its head, looking for candles and he finds it underneath the kitchen sink. He lights some of it up and props it into some glasses (he doesn’t have a candle holder he realizes after lighting it up).

With the lights dimmed down leaving the light from the window and the light from the candles, his dark apartment gives off a romantic, kind of comfortable, vibes. It was kind of perfect because with the books on his shelves and the lighting, it actually has the same vibes a library gives off.

He was ready now, bouquet of paper flowers in hand. He can’t believe how smooth things are going, minus the damn rain. Only thing that’s missing is you.

A knock comes to the door and he instantly opens it. There you were, hair a bit wet and messed up from the rain.

His future was bundled up in a cozy cardigan and a pair of jeans right in front of his eyes and he didn’t even know it.

“Hi.” Spencer smiles.

“Hi.” You smile.

-

“A little to the right. No. No. Too much right, now give it a little bit to the left.” You sigh, your hand under your chin, “No, no, baby, its crooked.”

“Love, can we do this later? The pancetta is going to burn.” Spencer laughs as he climbs down the ladder with the frame.

“But you said you’ll help me with putting up the frames!” You pout at him, Spencer chuckles before kissing your nose, “I know but you also asked for my famous carbonara and I can’t do both at the same time.”

“Hmmm. I still don’t think you can call it yours when its originally Dave’s.” You follow him to the kitchen, zigzagging through the boxes of books you’ve both barely opened.

“What he doesn’t know, won’t kill him.” He winks at you before giving the pancetta and onions a stir.

“It already smells good, love.” You snake your arms through his waist and lean your head on his back. Spencer lets go of the spatula and spins around to face you.

“Thank you, sweetheart. Go unbox some of the books and I’ll call you when its cooked so we can fix the frames. Okay?” Spencer kisses the top of your head and lets you go.

You walk out of the kitchen to the hallway full of boxes full of books. You chuckle as you open the nearest box and its just full of chemistry books. You push it to the room where Luke, Derek and Spencer has built shelves for all of your books. An olive green couch sits in the corner beside the built in fireplace.

Hmmm. This is your home library but as a former librarian the dewey decimal is calling you. But then again, the books you and Spencer have doesn’t have classifications on them. You began unpacking the chemistry books and placing it on the shelf. You can hear the distinct hiss of the pan and Spencer humming Kodaline’s The One.

You push in another box from the hallway to the room and its another one of Spencer’s, this one full of philosophy books. You start unpacking it to the shelf below the chemistry books before stopping as you pull out a book that doesn't belong with the philosophy books. A smile graces your face as your hands glides unto it. It was the book Spencer bought for you on your first anniversary.

The Peter Pan cover is a bit tattered, it was an older edition he found in your favorite old bookstore. You open the book and Spencer’s messy writing greets you with nostalgia.

“We are most alive when we are in love. Thank you for making me feel alive everyday for the past year. Happy Anniversary, love. I live a full life as I love you fully.”

You smile at the book before hugging it to your chest. You sigh deeply as you looked around the room and how it felt so surreal to be in the new home you share with Spencer.

“Love, I am finish. Come meet me in the hallway!” You leave the book on the shelf as you hear Spencer calling you.

“Are you helping me with the frames?” You clap, excited to finally put up the frames. Spencer smiles as he sees you excited to put up the pictures.

“Yes, okay you need to tell me if they’re straight okay?” He instructs before climbing the ladder.

“To the right, just a bit. Oh! Perfect!” You scramble to reach for another frame as he comes down the ladder to move it, “Here! This one.” He climbs again and you instruct him with directions for the frame again.

After a few more frames, he finally comes down and looks at the frames you asked to be put up.

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” Spencer smiles down at you and gives your cheek a kiss as he wraps his hands around your waist, “It is. Thank you for framing them.”

The frames comes in different shapes and forms, the biggest one in the middle is the picture of your wedding day. Your wedding took place in a library you immediately fell in love with when looking for places to get married at.

In the picture, you were smiling, your head rested on Spencer's shoulder as he reads a Harry Potter book he found in the kids section. It was a candid moment, both of you running to the back of the shelves to get a moment to yourselves after the wedding and the photographer snapped it before leaving the two of you in peace.

Beside it are pictures with the team on the wedding day, some on thanksgiving, christmas, new year with the BAU team, some with your family, some with Diana and in the corner is a shadow box containing the paper bouquet that Spencer gave you on your first date, the same exact flowers that was in your hands as you walk down the aisle to him.

“So, how's the first six months of officially being a Reid-Y/L/N?” Spencer teases as he lets you go from the back hug to face you and you roll your eyes at him, “Oh very hard. They hear Reid and they immediately expect greatness.”

Spencer laughs, “Same as the last name Y/L/N.” This time your the one who laughs at his statement, “Uhhh. I am not the one with 3 PhDs and 3 BAs.”

“And I am not the one whose a New York Times best selling author.” Spencer laughs even more when he sees your nose crinkles, making his heart dance and swell in glee.

“Hey, let’s dance.” He takes your arms and leaves it on his shoulders as he wraps his arms on your waist.

“We don’t have music, you silly goofy boy.” Spencer rolls his eyes at the endearment used, “I’ll sing.” He hushes you down.

“You make my heart feel like it's summer when the rain is pouring down.” Spencer’s singing voice was soft and sweet in the edges. Most nights you lull him to sleep with your humming to keep the monsters at bay and some days, his better days, he’s the one who sings and these were the days you treasure the most.

“You make my whole world feel so right when it's wrong, that's how I know you are the one... That’s how I know you are the one.” He sways you to the gentle buzz of his voice. You close your eyes as he sings the same song he sings to your ears on the dance floor for you first dance as a married couple.

“When we are together, you make me feel like my mind is free and my dreams are reachable hmmm.” Spencer hums as he runs his hands on your back. Your head on his chest and your ear listening to the way his heart is beating for you.

“You know I never ever believed in love, I believed one day that you would come along and free me.” Spencer feels at ease as he sways and sings, knowing that he’ll have you in his arms for the rest of his life.

The song ends but you and Spencer continue to sway to the music of silence.

“Can you believe its been 4 years since our first date?” Spencer asks, in disbelief of how fast time is running when he’s with you. You pull away from his chest so you can face him. You find a small spark in Spencer’s eyes as he thinks fondly of the night.

“Really? 4 years since our first date got rained on and Penelope cried because we broke all her fairy lights?” Spencer laughs before protesting, “Hey! I paid for that!”

"4 years later and I still can't get enough of that damn carbonara." Spence cackles, like an evil villain, "Don't tell Rossi that I stole his recipe for my beautiful partner."

"4 years later and I am still completely in love with you." Spencer smiles as he leans down to place a small kiss on your temple.

"4 years since I almost completely lost my mind because I was so nervous about our date." You roll your eyes, "Love, our first date was perfect. We've had this debate how many times now?"

"19 times." Spencer answers and you pinch his nose before looking around the room that’s still full of unopened boxes, “See. We should probably eat lunch and unpack. Why do we even have so many boxes of books?”

“Honey, you were a librarian and you are a writer. I am a professor and FBI agent that can read 20,000 words per minute.” Spencer answers as he looks around the unpacked house.

You smile fondly at him before standing on your tiptoes a bit to reach him and give him a kiss and he immediately steadies you with his hands. Kissing you was intoxicating and Spencer loves every bit of it. You only pull away when the kiss finally takes away your breathe.

“I love you, Spence.” You smile as you hold his face in your hands, “I love you more, sweetheart.” He smiles at you as you untangle yourself from him.

“Let’s eat your famous carbonara and unpack the rest of our house. It doesn’t really feel like home when all we can see is boxes.” You giggle before dragging him to the kitchen, making Spencer sit on the island as you prepare the pasta he cooked. Spencer watches you as you sing and dance through the kitchen in one of his old cardigans.

He doesn’t say anything but you were wrong. Home is not four walls with unpacked boxes and hundreds of books.

Home was when you showed up bundled in a cardigan, wet from the rain for your first date with him and home is still you, four years later, bundled up in his old cardigans and singing songs that magically fills and heals the crevices of his heart.

-

the recipe i copied for the famous carbonara!

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