#GUYS WHAT THE FUCK TUMBLR JUST ADDED A TAG THAT SAYS 'YOUTUBE' TO MY POST I DID NOT PUT IT THERE WTF

[queermarzipan]

HEY GUYS SO I TRAWLED THROUGH THE NOTES FOR EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO AGREED WITH ME ABOUT FAIRYTALE OF NEW YORK AND NOW I NEED TO GIVE YOU HIGHLIGHTS

Every second or third reblog saying YELLING abt Carol of the Bells (Trans-Siberian Orchestra version)/Щедрик (Ukranian folk song "about a guy who wants to fuck his wife")

One Extremely Surreal reblog from OP in which they asserted that ONCE IN ROYAL DAVID'S CITY wasn't a generic Christmas song bc they were Canadian and they'd never heard it (???)

Absolute WAR over whether Little Drummer Boy slaps or deserves to be deleted from existence

A surprising amount of ppl getting emotional about Silent Night (I've only sung this in choirs with Very Young Children and People Who Don't Want To Be There so maybe I've just never heard this Done Well By A Choir) (On that note tho I really love Silent Night/Spirit Among Us which I sing in a group that is Not A Choir so maybe look that up too if you like Silent Night) (I'm just a slut for counterpoint okay it's SO GOOD)

An absolutely appropriate amount of screeching about the keychange FALL ON YOUR KNEES line in O Holy Night

Very few people with 'IT'S TOO FUCKIN EARLY' messages actually

A truly hilarious amount of 'I'm not religious but—' 'I'm an atheist but—' 'I'm Jewish but—' bc Christmas music just fuckin slaps. My people. (Atheist who Does The Church Music lol)

LOTS of appreciation for Hark! The Herald Angels Sing, which I adore

Angels We Have Heard On High

Paragraph from a southern hemisphere dweller @lemonbubble about what songs ARE and ARE NOT Christmas songs, as distinct from winter songs. Which. I have to agree with cmon guys

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

About two entire mentions of We Three Kings but I like it so you get to hear about it

Entirely unnecesary appreciation for the abomination that is 'Santa Baby'

Some contention over whether Frosty the Snowman is the worst of the lot or the only tolerable one

Maybe three entire mentions of Walking In The Air which is UNFAIR it's SO GOOD

A lot of people asking where 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' is/has gone

Objectively correct appreciation of Slade's Merry Christmas Everybody

Something called 'Baby It's Cold Outside' (???)

Let It Snow

One (1) person who mentioned Meet Me In St. Louis who is now my favourite

'12 Days Of Christmas because it's fun to remember the entire song and also try to sing the last verse in one breath' @rainbobirb tumblr user after my own heart you'd LOVE the rathlin bog

Feliz Navidad

Last Christmas by Wham (the artist was emphasised once or twice? I didn't know there was another version)

Maybe two people who mentioned Feed The World which is fucking INSANE i LOVE that song

Rocking Around The Christmas Tree

'It's really a New Years song but Auld Lang Syne'/'I'm counting Auld Lang Syne bc it was the US that made it into a 'new years' song in the first place when it wasn't originally' I LOVE AULD LANG SYNE I WOULD'VE COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN IT WITHOUT YOU GUYS and also yeah it's. Not a 'New Years' song

Utterly appropriate crying over 'Merry Xmas (War is Over) by John Lennon

About two people mentioning Adeste Fideles which again you get to hear about bc I like Adeste Fideles

One ABSOLUTE LEGEND who said In Der Weihnachtsbäckerei @flieder-house

'Winter Wonderland bc Polar Express' which I cannot disagree with honestly

Lots of 'Sleigh Ride'

About two mentions of a song called 'River', artist unknown (by me) (p sure the artist is Known Generally)

One (1) Sarajevo courtesy of @bitter-sweet-coffee

One person who peered STRAIGHT INTO MY MOST BURIED CHILDHOOD MEMORIES and pulled out 'all I want for Cristmas is my two front teeth, my two front teeth, my two front teeth' @kariachi HOW

That's it I think

If I remember anything I'm not editing so this is what you get

Last but not least MY PEOPLE @nancybongwater @wonderingaround1980 @raymondshields @veronicaslvr @delphinia13 @iceadolescent @azpherambles @notafraidofredyellowandblue @al3xp3rsonal @ethel-cyanide @eatinggendermarbles @radioactiveryan @justalesbianwithsomegayshit @y0rk-ie @british-hero @valyrfia @cyberparasitic @weltato

🫡

If you read this far thank you btw this was entirely unsolicited and I am very aware of that

@urlocalrockstar where r u back me up. Fairytale of New York. Objectively the best one

it's that time of year again

there's no ' none ' option because if you don't like any of these songs this poll isn't for you. sorry

[sreegs]

I posted 2,632 times in 2022

That's 1,578 more posts than 2021!

831 posts created (32%)

1,801 posts reblogged (68%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sreegs

@kilgorezouzou

@red-mercer

@howling-techie

@iamoutofideas

I tagged 2,367 of my posts in 2022

Only 10% of my posts had no tags

#tumblr - 378 posts

#star trek - 132 posts

#hell - 106 posts

#meme - 75 posts

#world heritage post - 74 posts

#ds9 - 63 posts

#guy fieri - 58 posts

#tumblr ads - 54 posts

#feliz jueves - 54 posts

#ai - 51 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#the memories april fools was kind of one of these things that made it through as a joke about features that every social network has

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

35,469 notes - Posted June 6, 2022

#4

who's so busy they have to tag a two second video "watch later"?

38,396 notes - Posted March 18, 2022

#3

Years ago, when Tumblr was still owned by Yahoo, Yahoo wanted Tumblr to use their video player, rather than Tumblr's own video player. This was partially to unify analytics, but mostly because Yahoo planned to put pre-roll ads on Tumblr videos. You know those unskippable Youtube ads? That's what was going to happen to Tumblr videos.

The only reason it didn't happen out is because Tumblr staff pushed back on the idea, saying it was absolutely idiotic and would anger users beyond their breaking point.

The next time you're angry at staff for fucking up something a lil bit, or trying to make money in some optional way, keep this in mind.

84,463 notes - Posted February 25, 2022

#2

As the staff post about ad-free tumblr continues to get thousands of notes telling staff to fuck off in the tags, I wanna remind you that this website's days are numbered. Tumblr is still unprofitable and by some modern-day miracle none of its acquiring companies pulled the plug on this money pit. But it will happen if it continues its trajectory.

Whether you like it or not, Tumblr needs to make money off you somehow in order to stay up. It either serves ads or asks for money to use it. This has been a paradigm on the web longer than many of you have been alive. It's Tumblr's job to make money right now because it's well past its grace period of being a black hole for cash. This has actually always been Tumblr's job, since it is a corporation, but that's capitalism for ya.

If you want Tumblr to be here for free and you want to continue to use it, you do yourself a disservice by opposing any changes Tumblr makes in order to pay for its costs. When this site finally goes belly-up then you're gonna be Tumblr-less until whatever startup takes its place and the cycle repeats itself.

If you think it should just ask for donations Wikipedia-style, remember that if and when that happens, there will be users repeating the same tired bullshit about giving Tumblr any money.

105,961 notes - Posted February 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

ah you can't tip yourself

123,340 notes - Posted March 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

I posted 3,263 times in 2021

861 posts created (26%)

2402 posts reblogged (74%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.8 posts.

I added 2,869 tags in 2021

#danny phantom - 1689 posts

#asks - 562 posts

#eurovision - 106 posts

#guardian spirit au - 90 posts

#bitter - 85 posts

#overpowered danny - 79 posts

#lula's headcanons - 77 posts

#lula's life - 77 posts

#gray ghost au - 54 posts

#birds - 50 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and if i do i will get paranoid about how many hints i might have missed before this one and then never want to speak with you again out of

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

so if Danny aged but Phantom didn't would that make him like the opposite version of Shazam

2375 notes • Posted 2021-11-19 07:19:23 GMT

#4

so imagine if Dan escaped and Danny had to fight him again, but this time the general population of Amity Park saw, and clockwork didn't rewind anything

and yeah this is absolutely nothing new to this phandom but CONSIDER

what would literally everyone, ghost and human, think about this ghost who has the same logo as Danny telling him he's gonna become just like him one day and has a whole bunch of the same powers and they kinda look alike?

I guaran-goddamn-tee it they wouldn't be thinking 'oh that's evil Phantom from the future'

they'd be thinking 'oh shit Phantom's dad is a real asshole'

2823 notes • Posted 2021-10-06 23:28:40 GMT

#3

it's fucjing. 2am but I just had a conversation with my sister and I need to talk about it

Danny's at college right, he's stuck sharing a dorm with some guy he doesn't know, and through some unfortunate timing the dude happens to walk in while Danny is in Phantom form

his dorm mate isn't from Amity Park tho, and all the ghost shit is sort of hush hushed by the GIW so this dude has no idea who Phantom is, at most he's maybe seen some youtube vids and thought he was some made up character

so he walks in on Danny wearing what he thinks is a costume and a wig and says

"oh shit are you doing like a cosplay tiktok? sorry dude, I'll come back later"

all it takes is for him to casually mention his dorm mate cosplaying some white haired superhero character in the vicinity of an Amity Parker and they're just like

DID YOU SAY FENTON IS COSPLAYING PHANTOM ON TIKTOK??

within the hour every single Amity Parker on campus is furiously searching for Danny's cosplay account, but all they can find is one where he geeks out over space news and shit

suddenly his new tiktok about a recent space shuttle expedition is bombarded with comments like

"drop your cosplay account"

"WHWRE'S YOUR COSPLAY ACCOUNT"

"omg Fenton where's your Phantom cosplay I neeeeed"

"WE KNOW ABOUT YOUR SECRET COSPLAY FENTURD NOW DROP THE LINK"

next minute he's getting texts from Sam, Tucker and even Jazz asking him why everyone's harassing them for his tiktok account Danny what did you do

3051 notes • Posted 2021-09-21 16:31:44 GMT

#2

what if Danielle is just wandering around Amity Park in human form with Valerie, and Maddie or Jack happens to see her and they just do a hard double take like

who the fuck is this child

why the fuck does she look like Danny

why the fuck does she look exactly like Danny

like imagine that she's a little older and about Danny's height and they think it's Danny dressed as a girl and that is just, SUPER confusing and they go home and sit Danny down like 'sweetie if you want to start presenting as a girl again we will support you' and he's just like ????????????

3135 notes • Posted 2021-07-16 00:23:31 GMT

#1

new favourite hobby, stitching dumb shit onto pretty fabric

24187 notes • Posted 2021-08-15 05:43:48 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[galmiahthepigeon]

@natashalostt Okay I was planning to save this story for YouTube but I have no self control and I need to tell more people about this cause it was batshit insane, hope you're ready for a lot of reading!

So my friend and I go to see the musical knowing only the basic premise of "some sort of war or apocalypse is happening and a group of people hide in a refuge and retell the story of Alice in Wonderland by heart".

First of all, the actors who played Alice and Alfred looked REALLY similar. Alfred was dressed in clothes that were huge on him, probably to make him look malnourished from the illness, but it made him come across way younger than he actually was. All of this added to the way the characters were presented, how Alice is so protective and describes looking after him as kids and reading to him until he fell asleep, it just reeeeaaaally made it seem like Alfred was her little brother at first 😬

But well at some point they do explain they're friends and that Alfred's family is all dead and they're very much Not related so I was like phew okay that's. Unfortunate casting lmao. Moving on! I was not expecting this to be a love story so I'm a little taken aback but whatever! The costumes and staging and choreography are so inventive and creative and absolutely stunning, I'm obsessed with it! Yayyy!!

Everything's going fine until we get to the mock turtles' song. As they're inciting Alice to confess to Alfred and not ignore her feelings like they did, they inquire what is keeping Alice from expressing her love and she says, and I swear I am not making this up, "When I used to read to him in the garden I was seventeen... and he was ten. Now he's twenty-one but it still seems so wrong..."

My friend and I stare at each other with our eyes open the size of fucking Jupiter. Is this musical really about a woman pushing thirty running after this young guy she used to babysit at ten?????

The show continues and we exhale because a lot of characters start calling Alice out, berating her and shaming her for her attraction to Alfred, calling her selfish and saying that not everything is about her desires. So we think ah! I get it! It's self-aware! This is a purposeful and nuanced exploration of how these types of relationships could form. Clearly Alice clings to this relationship because it reminds her of her childhood, this attraction is a really horrible and fucked up coping mechanism for everything that's going on around her. What a risky yet novel concept to explore! How interesting!

Except. At the trial. When everyone is tearing her down and exposing her, and we think she's about to self-reflect and change and improve as a person. Alfred jumps forward to defend her, "her only crime was loving!" he tells the court. Alfred, kid, stay back, you are dying of groomed boy disease!!!!

So "I've Shrunk Enough" starts playing and in this context it basically boils down to a triumphant musical number about how this woman's love for this boy seven years her junior is real and there's no reason to be ashamed or deny it and it's fine to accept it! Yay creepy-ass age gap!!! And my friend and I stare at each other in disbelief because this play really just concluded that love is love and age is just a number and. What the fuck is even going on anymore

We come out of the theatre horrified. Why does the Alice in Wonderland retelling have grooming apologism in it? What the fuck did we just watch? We spend about two hours processing what we just went through and talking about all the ways in which it sucked. Until they get the idea to check the Tumblr tag to see if there's any discourse about it. And we realize it's all cutesy Alice x Alfred fanart and posts about the romance of it all. And like that's fucking weird, there should be at least a little bit if controversy about this.

Could it be... That the original was different...? But that would make no sense. There's so many scenes that mention it in very explicit ways. There's songs that are specifically about this topic, what else could they be about? You'd have to change so much of the text if you were just adding this in-

Yep. They were all teenagers in the original. They just added this in. Someone in the translation/adaptation team just. Decided to actively change like a fourth of the dialogues and songs just to add a weird as fuck age gap plot that added nothing and character-assassinated Alice. For absolutely no reason. WHAT THE FUCK MAN.

I've been listening to the original soundtrack and it just is a completely different story. I really struggle to appreciate the themes and story of the original because this horrible decision and all it's implications are just constantly looming over it, tainting it. It was such a fundamental part of the Alice by Heart that I watched that it's impossible for me to fully disconnect it from my reading of the text.

So yeah, some argentinian translator kinda ruined Alice by Heart for me forever! And made me very confused

Hello Alice by Heart enjoyers still on Tumblr. There is a production of it happening in Argentina right now, which I went to see with a friend, and we had an absolutely bizarre experience with it. I might be writing a video script about it because no one outside of my country is aware of what is being done to this musical here.

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

I posted 20,405 times in 2021

1561 posts created (8%)

18844 posts reblogged (92%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 12.1 posts.

I added 7,068 tags in 2021

#bbc merlin - 1863 posts

#merlin - 1779 posts

#sir leon - 508 posts

#liv talks - 488 posts

#arthur pendragon - 476 posts

#spn - 446 posts

#liv writes - 442 posts

#the witcher - 416 posts

#liv talks merlin - 351 posts

#leverage - 299 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#it seems that when it comes to the context of asexuality i will always react negatively to the word 'broken' even if i use it. especially if

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Gwaine’s introduction is hilarious and his first interaction with Merlin is literal gold. The amount of serotonin I get from cackling at how effortlessly Gwaine drinks, flirts, and fights all at the same time while Merlin looks on in utter befuddlement is endless.

605 notes • Posted 2021-05-01 20:54:51 GMT

#4

It amuses me just how unhinged Merlin is as Dragoon, he gives zero shits and fears no god and it shows. Sassy boy becomes an even sassier old man and roasts people with the confidence of a youtube commenter who knows they have the benefit of anonymity

650 notes • Posted 2021-04-26 03:14:59 GMT

#3

It's not that I want my favorite characters to suffer, but... what if, you know?

693 notes • Posted 2021-08-26 12:34:06 GMT

#2

I think the poetry scene gets funnier when you realize that Leon is so surprised at seeing Merlin and Arthur sneaking around the castle in the dead of night that he drops formality for the second and last time of the show by calling Arthur by his first name. And then he tries to reestablish formality but suddenly things are so god damned weird because "Poetry," as bizarre and original as that excuse is, isn't a valid reason for Arthur and Merlin to be walking the halls late at night. Leon has more questions than answers but things are already so god damned weird and Leon doesn't want either of them to question why he's sneaking about the castle himself in the dead of night sans a torch, so he just lets it happen. Leon was informal with Arthur, Merlin managed to say "I was teaching him poetry" with a straight face, and Arthur supported this very bizarre cover story. Leon gets the fuck out of there as fast as he can and it was hands down the weirdest interaction he had ever had with anyone ever.

734 notes • Posted 2021-05-21 05:41:43 GMT

#1

Gwaine's introduction will never not be funny. This random guy in a tavern sees Merlin and Arthur piss off a guy and his many lackeys and at seeing the piss poor odds decides to throw the first punch. He then proceeds to ask for a jar of alchohol mid brawl, ask Merlin for his name, return his own in kind, and then smash the jar over someone's head while commenting on the waste of alcohol before disappearing back to the fray leaving behind a bewildered Merlin. Then he proceeds to take a knife in the leg for Arthur and lose consciousness from the combined efforts of blood loss and a bench to the head.

1155 notes • Posted 2021-03-02 07:01:27 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[bumblebeerror]

I posted 3,837 times in 2021

403 posts created (11%)

3434 posts reblogged (89%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 8.5 posts.

I added 91 tags in 2021

#up and adam - 19 posts

#youtube - 18 posts

#minecraft - 12 posts

#watch later - 11 posts

#adhd - 7 posts

#actuallyadhd - 6 posts

#dream smp - 6 posts

#gender envy???? - 5 posts

#rowan rambles - 4 posts

#among us - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#i love these people and i can’t seem to ever have them both and it fucking kills me to where i’m not sure i’m worth having either of them

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

When did everyone decide that we all had to talk in the tags only lest we be seen as annoying for reblogging to say our piece?

Fuck you mate people say dumb shit on my posts constantly and you don’t see me telling them I’d rather have to read their dumb shit in the tags instead!

I’ll say dumb shit with my chest, I think I’m hilarious and I’ll be reblogging your post with my comments because I don’t know how not to be annoying and have no interest in finding out

201 notes • Posted 2021-09-16 05:39:44 GMT

#4

Do you guys ever remember how scary rabies is and lay there horrified for a minute imagining it becoming airborne?

208 notes • Posted 2021-11-02 07:30:09 GMT

#3

Why does at least one person on any post of mine that gets mildly popular always have to tag it “q-slur” or some shit?

Darling, honey, baby, starshine; I’m queer, queer is in my url, the post probably has the word queer in it, and all of it is talking about me! It’s not a slur when I assign it to myself or to the queer community, a community of people who call themselves queer!

Please stop tagging my posts that way! It’s fuckin insulting and I cannot follow your logic!

If you do not like Queer you should leave because I’m not gay as in happy, I’m queer as in fuck you!

371 notes • Posted 2021-08-23 06:25:00 GMT

#2

Something an Ex-friend said to me once has been bothering me lately.

“I don’t mean that Non-binary isn’t real; I’ve just never had someone tell me that and then stay Non-binary. They always end up picking one.”

It bothered me then because the expectation that I’d essentially grow out of it was grating anyway.

But a few years later and a lot more coming out? It just makes me sad, because I think I know why all of this person’s non-binary friends stopped identifying as non-binary.

It’s.. exhausting. To be out as non-binary. It’s difficult to pass, and whether you’re accepted depends entirely on people knowing what non-binary is or being willing to use your pronouns (if they’re not he or she). You can’t pass. You have to come out to every single person you meet if you want to be called by your pronouns. You can’t just look like a girl and get called “she” because people assume; because they’ll never assume non-binary.

Those people probably didn’t stop being non-binary. They just stopped being able to handle the constant cycle of coming out and rejection and struggling to present well.

They didn’t stop being non-binary. They just got tired. And I understand that so intimately now.

597 notes • Posted 2021-03-10 20:45:43 GMT

#1

My very unpopular opinion apparently:

Straight cis perisex able-bodied neurotypical people using aids designed for disabled people (I.e weighted blankets, grabby claw, sock holder, etc), going to therapists occasionally to keep up their mental health, using fidget toys, choosing to call their bf/gf their partner, using pronouns besides the ones associated with their gender just because they like it, and doing a million other small things that make us fitting in and being accepted a little bit easier is in fact exactly the type of support these communities need, and will ultimately help us so much more than gatekeeping ever fuckin will

40158 notes • Posted 2021-08-17 06:38:42 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[gayluigi]

I posted 17,025 times in 2021

343 posts created (2%)

16682 posts reblogged (98%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 48.6 posts.

I added 887 tags in 2021

#happy tag - 316 posts

#chicken man - 287 posts

#laugh track - 133 posts

#beautiful people - 29 posts

#face horror - 26 posts

#chicken daughter - 23 posts

#batjokes - 22 posts

#minty - 18 posts

#my little pony - 18 posts

#oh no - 15 posts

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

When I found out this lunatic animal abuser was on YouTube making stupid polls, I just HAD to leave a couple of snide remarks 😂 (No, I would never actually eat robin eggs... just trying to get her panties in a twist.)

43 notes • Posted 2021-06-11 08:51:28 GMT

#4

Raymond…. I think you fundamentally misunderstand what “hot cocoa” is 🤣 I think you might be wanting some chocolate milk!!

60 notes • Posted 2021-11-17 21:36:28 GMT

#3

AMAZING Shane fanart by Corisan272 on Reddit!! Originally posted [here] and crossposted to tumblr with permission :3 

229 notes • Posted 2021-03-09 22:38:12 GMT

#2

Male and female is a social construct tho. Words like "steer" or "heifer" as sex-essentiallizing. Like how you wouldn't call a platypus a mammal.

😂 Male and female aren’t social constructs when referring to animals, buddy roll. Animals don’t have the same kind of social structures we do. Animals don’t have gender identity like a human does. Animals don’t care if you call them by their sex, because they don’t have the capacity to give a fuck.

A bull is a bull bc he’s an intact male moo. A steer is a steer bc he’s an altered male moo. A heifer is a heifer because she’s a female moo who hasn’t had calves yet. A cow is a cow because she’s a female moo who’s had calves. And none of them particularly care what you call them.

And uhhh a platypus IS a mammal, idk what you’re on about. They’re one of two egg-laying species of mammals, the other being the echidna.

@dairyisntscary get a load of this

249 notes • Posted 2021-03-15 18:43:11 GMT

#1

PSA: If you’re out in public and see a visibly disabled person sitting there minding their own business, you do NOT have the right to record them just because you think they’re lesser than you.

I was at a restaurant with my friend who’s “severely” autistic (I hate functioning labels but idk how else to describe it), his understanding of the world is on the level of about a 6-7 yr old, and he has apraxia, so his movements are stilted and forced, he’s super thin and just never gains weight so it exaggerates the awkwardness of his movements, and his speech is very slurred and hard to understand. So to the average person, yes, he looks and talks funny. He also carries around a giant Chuck E Cheese plush and a Curious George plush, so that might be seen by others as weird too. But he’s the sweetest guy, super cool, even if he’s not exactly a conversationalist. He’s really and truly great.

But this asshole sitting at the bar perpendicular to where we were at our table pulled out his phone and was openly recording him on video. Just because my friend had the audacity to exist in a public place as a visibly disabled person. I didn’t see it going on or I would’ve confronted them. The only person who saw it was my mom, and she flipped them off but didn’t say anything to them.

Like, what gives you the right to record someone who’s just minding their own business? Just because they look and sound different from the average person? I consider my friend to be my brother. He’s a great guy, and everyone who knows him adores him. But this person didn’t bother to come and ask questions or anything, just thought it would be funny to record him.

And this isn’t the first incident where someone has discriminated against him for being visibly disabled. One time we were at Chuck E Cheese, and this man decided he was gonna try and get my friend thrown out because he didn’t like the fact that he was existing in public as a visibly disabled person. He went to the manager and made up a lie that my friend had his hand down his pants and was watching the man’s child and fondling himself. My friend was wearing skinny jeans and couldn’t have fit his hand down his pants if he had TRIED, and he’s NEVER exhibited that kind of behavior before. This guy just didn’t like that a disabled man was daring to exist in public. Luckily, the manager didn’t believe his story, but she told my friend’s mom what happened, and my friend’s mom actually confronted the guy, and he left with his child, thank god.

Disabled people exist. They exist in public. And they have the RIGHT to exist in public. You don’t have the right to record them, nor do you have the right to try and get them kicked out of a public venue just for being disabled. Mind your own fucking business.

And it pisses me off because I’m autistic too, but I’ve NEVER had this kind of problem, because I’m good at masking and I don’t have apraxia. I appear perfectly “normal” to the average person most of the time, unless I’m stimming or something like that. But because my friend doesn’t have the ability to mask, he’s viciously discriminated against. It’s not FAIR. People need to mind their own fucking business and leave visibly disabled people the hell alone.

621 notes • Posted 2021-03-28 01:02:47 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[little-big-town-vibes]

I posted 1,062 times in 2021

483 posts created (45%)

579 posts reblogged (55%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.2 posts.

I added 110 tags in 2021

#mcsm ellegaard - 18 posts

#mcsm magnus - 15 posts

#tumblr milestone - 11 posts

#soundcloud - 11 posts

#mcsm - 10 posts

#mcsm oc - 10 posts

#mcsm gabriel - 9 posts

#youtube - 9 posts

#mcsm ivor - 9 posts

#mcsm jesse - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 71 characters

#my last incorrect quotes post got quite a few likes so why the heck not

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

TRUTH OR DARE PART 2

Me: WE'RE BACK!! @asktheoriginalorder and I are doing some more T or D!

Me: okay when we last ended i had just gone so @asktheoriginalorder i believe it's your turn?

28 notes • Posted 2021-05-14 19:40:57 GMT

#4

Ivor, stubbing his toe: Блядь

Magnus, covering Alix's ears: LANGUAGE

Ivor: you speak Russian?

Alix: Я делаю. Магнус не знает

Alex and Ivor: * начинает весь разговор на русском *

Literally everyone else: *confused*

radar: someone go get harper

Harper: I'm just as confused as you are

29 notes • Posted 2021-04-30 18:02:42 GMT

#3

she-ra incorrect quotes because why the fuck not?

Adora, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Mermista: Hey. Bow: Hi. Perfuma: Hello. Entrapta: Hey! Adora: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Glimmer: We were out of Doritos.

Mermista: If you put 'violently' in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier. Mermista: Violently practices. Perfuma: Violently studies. Entrapta: Violently sleeps. Adora: Violently shoots pictures. Bow: Violently boxes. Glimmer: Violently murders people. Entrapta: Violently worries about the previous statement.

Bow: We’re kind of missing something guys. Perfuma: Cohesion? Glimmer: Teamwork? Adora: A general sense of what we’re doing? Entrapta: And Mermista is not here. Perfuma: Oh, and that, yeah.

Glimmer: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything? Glimmer: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies. Mermista: Socks are Feetie Heaties. Bow: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties. Perfuma: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies. Entrapta: Stamps are Lickie Stickies. Adora: I hate you guys so much.

Mermista: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life. Glimmer: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back... Adora: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this. Catra: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years. Bow: I knew I lost that potential somewhere. Entrapta: Mental stability, my old friend! Mermista: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

Glimmer: Who the **** added me to a fucking group chat? Adora: >:O language Bow: Yeah watch your fucking language Catra: Okay, who taught Bow the fuck word?! Mermista: 'The fuck word'. Entrapta: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time Bow: Oh my god they censored it Mermista: Say fuck, Entrapta. Bow: Do it, Entrapta. Say fuck.

Bow: Bye Glimmer! Bye Mermista! Bye Adora! Bye Entrapta! Bye Glimmer! Catra: You said ‘bye Glimmer’ twice. Bow: I like Glimmer.

Catra, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Adora: Hey. Swift Wind: Hi. Catra: Hello. Glimmer: Hey! Catra: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Entrapta: We were out of Doritos.

Glimmer: If you put 'violently' in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier. Glimmer: Violently practices. Swift Wind: Violently studies. Entrapta: Violently sleeps. Bow: Violently shoots pictures. Adora: Violently boxes. Catra: Violently murders people. Entrapta: Violently worries about the previous statement.

Bow: If you got arrested what would be the charges? Swift Wind: Theft. Glimmer: Disturbing the peace. Adora: Aggravated assault. Entrapta: Arson. Catra: All of the above. In that order, probably.

Swift Wind: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them? Bow, watching Entrapta screaming, Catra trying to set a sleeping Adora on fire, and Glimmer choking on air: I don't know either.

Glimmer: I CAN'T DO IT! Bow, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER! Glimmer: I CANT ****ING DO IT ANYMORE Catra: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US. Glimmer: Glimmer: I appreciate it, Glimmer: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH- Adora: Glimmer- Glimmer: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE! Entrapta: Glimmer we gotta- Glimmer: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT. Glimmer: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?' Glimmer, motioning to Swift Wind: NOT FUCKING THIS!

42 notes • Posted 2021-06-05 21:25:14 GMT

#2

MY FRIENDS WE ARE AT LEVEL SPOOPY @need-my-cup-of-stars WHATS YOUR TAKE ON THE SITUATION

46 notes • Posted 2021-07-04 23:07:22 GMT

#1

Drop a character and an outfit in my ask box

(Characters I will do: Umbrella Academy characters, Harry Potter Characters, Season 1 MCSM Characters, KOTLC characters, Hamilton Characters)

67 notes • Posted 2021-05-01 23:27:45 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[florencesmachine]

An update regarding my tumblr account!

So guys, most of you know me in the tsc fandom as cordeliacarstairs or incorrecttdaquotes, as well as incorrecttlhquotes, incorrecttwpquotes, incorrectminacarstairsquotes, and the admin on tscbot, etc. If you don’t know by now, my account was terminated last week on Wednesday. I’ve been contacting @support trying to get them restored ever since, but it’s been very... unhelpful, to say the least. The initial email they sent me stated that they terminated my account for “trading/hoarding” urls, which violates community guidelines. When I send a help request contesting that I did anything warranting termination, I did not receive an automated response back. Turns out, they have the email associated with that account blocked on their system. When I realized this, I started submitting help requests through another email, asking for help in simply reaching them, and I received several responses back telling me to submit the request through my account email, which IS WHAT I COULDN’T DO, WHICH IS WHY I WAS ASKING FOR HELP.

me: I can’t contact you through my account’s email because you have me blocked can you please unblock me?

@support: for security reasons pls send this help request through your accounts email thanks :)

🤦🏽‍♀️

So, finally after several days, I got an email back which simply said:

“We've terminated your Tumblr account for spam or using your blog with the primary purpose of affiliate marketing and deceptive means to generate traffic/revenue. Per the policies you agreed to when creating your account, Tumblr prohibits such activity ... Unfortunately we can't restore accounts that have been terminated for violating several of our Terms of Service or Community Guidelines.”

Which if you notice, is a different reason than the one they originally gave me.

Not to mention a totally false claim.

Those of you that followed me on my active accounts know I didn’t post ads, ask for money, or post content which can be considered “spam”. I never even INTERACT much less post content which is obscene, violent, or even excessively rude. I’ve always believed in using social media responsibly and for enjoyment and connection above all things. I’m a book blogger, I post about books with little deviation- and I’ve certainly never made any money off of it.

I sent yet another help ticket at the beginning of this week requesting that someone please look into this, but I’ve yet to hear back from anyone at all. My inbox is filled with unanswered help tickets and I’m honestly not sure what else there is left to do. I created this account to use temporarily while I got the situation sorted, but it’s looking more and more like I’m going to need to start all over from here.

I’m incredibly sad and incredibly disappointed at this entire situation. I had an incredible community of followers and mutuals on that account, primarily in the tsc fandom, and I was incredibly proud because incorrecttdaquotes was just about to cross 8k in followers. But fandom stuff aside, I had that tumblr account since I was around 14 years old, and the hardest part is having something you built an attachment to over several years taken away from you without warning, even if it’s something as meaningless as a social media account.

That being said, life goes on and I’m definitely not disappearing from this or any fandom I’ve become a part of, and you can always reach me on some of my other social media:

Instagram (@wilhelminacarstairs)

Twitter (@incorrecttlh)

YouTube (Cinthia n books n stuff) (yes I know that’s a stupid channel name, yes I’m working on it,yes I am going to post on it again)

I’m tagging some of the mutuals I had on my original account for Awareness™ (if we were mutuals and I forgot to tag you in this I’m sorry, I’m doing all of this from memory and I obviously can’t log on to my account and check): @lucelias @wilhelminacarstairs @jordelias @mostawesomepineapple @pinkseraphblades @roast-the-shadowhunters @virginiadre @shahana21 @beckygs @marisolgarza @purple-haired-faerie

also everyone that’s followed me on here and been kind enough to reach out to me on either my twitter or Instagram... you guys r fucking real ones so congratulations we’re mutuals now and you’re stuck with me forever:

@blueganseys @lady-digital-vampire-queen @waterlilyvioletfog @lxcieherondale @daisyherxndale @go-bunburying @opaque-grapefruit @tokaywineandcheese @imadumbas @mysterychuu @breckxbooks @ijzermansrobbe @saraahsmiles @chailoveforever @pen-paper-and-ink @ignus-aurum @sparklestheunicorn @itsjustsand @furioustacotyrant @superalteza666 @mindastardust @cocuklar-gibi @nearlyheadlessnickcage @cordelia-carstairs-owns-me @blckthrns @princessbitchysworld @aybiegirl @queenmollixofshadows @bloooop-p @roseonthecrown @shadowfeyartist @vlctorxvale @taco-taco-belle @heloisacosta23 @luke-garroway

[colbybrocksmolder]

Tumblr – Colby Brock x Reader

Tumblr is…a mixed bag. You’d made some of your closest internet friends on this poorly run website, but you’d also received more than your share of crazy fangirl hate. What’s crazy though, is how easy it is to make friends in the Sam and Colby fandom on Tumblr. 99% of everyone you’ve met is super nice and the group kind of shuts down the haters pretty quickly.

This last round of drama kind of wore everyone down. It all started with a hate anon that your friend DaddyDobrock received. “If Sam and Colby saw half of what you guys wrote on here they wouldn’t want you as fans 🙄.” She handled it well. She laughed and told the anon to lighten up and fuck off. You guys were pretty used to petty hate anons and rarely answer them, but boy was this asshole persistent.

Absolute-randomness-forever replied to a similar message with “If you don’t like what we post, don’t follow us?” Again, not really feeding into any drama.

Sp00kybrock got one trying to get her opinion on the whole thing. “Don’t you think most of the Sam and Colby tumblr fandom is toxic? Like, I bet Colby would cringe so hard if he went on this site. 🙄” She defended her friends, laughing it off. “My friends and I aren’t toxic. We post memes and joke around, but we support the boys 100%.”

Jakeywebber commented on a few of the new posts. “Does this person even watch the boys? They obviously don’t know that their sense of humor is exactly like ours.”

The anons continued to come in, a few other people getting them but not replying. They always ended with 🙄. The problem with one toxic anon is that they attract others that want to feed into the drama, and soon the hate is taken too far.

Someone got an anon telling them to kill themselves. Eye rolling emoji included. The blog posted the anon with no comment other than “deleting now” and went offline. To say that the rest of you were up in arms is an understatement. Lightenupbrock, that-one-brock-boy, badassbrock, the-sun-is-dark, colbyjacksmack, rewindfridaynight, xplr-lurker, brockboytrashz…you all jumped in and defended your friend. You sent them messages making sure they were okay, trying to convince them not to delete.

*Twitter notification* Colby Brock Tweeted : “FYI we see more than you think we see. Don’t pretend to be our fan and then treat other fans like shit. Especially anonymously. 🙄”

Daddydobrock posted “Anyone else see this?” with a screenshot of the tweet.

A few of the others reblogged it, adding comments. By the end of the thread, your group of friends was convinced that Colby either had a tumblr or occasionally lurked on it.

*tumblr messages*

Xplr-lurker : Hey, have you heard from the girl that got the kys anon?

You and Xplr-lurker had been tumblr friends for about 6 months. They messaged you after they saw how you interacted with the other blogs. You were always helpful, kind, encouraging…You had a reputation for being a sweetheart and Xplr-lurker had messaged you thanking you for it. You two became friends pretty quickly, asking how each other’s days went and such. Neither of you ever really posted your personal info on your blogs, but you knew a bit about each other. You both lived in Cali, you were about the same age, and you loved sending each other super emo tumblr posts when you were bored. Usually hella late at night. He knew you were a girl and you knew he was a guy. Other personal details kind of trickled through in your everyday interactions.

Y/n : Yeah. She doesn’t want to be online for a while, but she isn’t going to delete her blog. I gave her my phone number just in case she needed to talk.

Xplr-lurker : I figured you would 😊 I’m glad she’s okay.

Y/n : Me too.

Y/n : Hey, did you see Colby’s tweet? I think he saw all of this go down. I mean, maybe I’m just assuming too much, but he ended a tweet about anon hate with that stupid eye roll emoji just like the anon does.

Xplr-lurker : I mean, he said he checks his dms all the time. Maybe someone sent it to him?

Y/n : Maybe.

Y/n : Honestly, I’m just as mad for him and Sam as I am for the girl. How shitty is it that they have to watch the people who call themselves fans treat other fans like garbage? And they can’t do a thing about it.

Xplr-lurker : That sounds like it would suck.

Y/n : Right?

You had written a whole big post about how hypocritical it was for this toxic anon to accuse everyone else of being bad for the fandom when they were so willing to go out of their way to harm other fans. You reminded them about the videos Sam and Colby used to post about being confident and helping others. Their entire YouTube career started with them making videos wanting to help people. Just like every other post, you signed it with two black heart emojis. 🖤🖤

You had continued talking to xplr-lurker as you wrote the post. Venting a little bit about how frustrated you were.

*Twitter notification* Colby Brock Tweeted : “Don’t worry, we know there are amazing fans out there, too. 🖤🖤”

Y/n : Dude. I think I’m paranoid, now.

Xplr-lurker : What do you mean?

Y/n : Nothing. I’m exhausted. I just need sleep, lol. You do too, nerd. You said you needed to be up by 9 and it’s already 4am.

Xplr-lurker : Holy shit, my friend is going to kill me if I’m falling asleep tomorrow, haha.

Y/n : Haha, good luck! I’ll talk to you later.

Xplr-lurker : Thanks. Sweet dreams.

See, it’s pretty common for social media influencers to have secret accounts. It gives them a way to like posts and follow fans without starting drama. After collabing with CrankThatFrank, Colby was convinced to make a tumblr. He picked Xplr-lurker so that it made sense for him to interact with his own fans. He mostly just reblogged cool edits and funny traphouse memes. He’d comment on funny posts and throw his two cents in on theories and gossip. For the most part, it was kind of fun. People on tumblr were brutally honest but fucking hilarious. He never planned on talking about tumblr or letting anyone he interacted with on tumblr know that he was behind the username…but then he found your blog. He’d contemplated telling you for a few weeks now. The two of you talked almost every night and he felt bad. He felt like he was lying to you.

He’d first messaged you just to say a quick thanks for being so positive in the fandom, but the more he talked to you the more he kept wanting to talk to you.

The 🙄 anon stopped sending people messages after Colby’s tweet. Your friends on tumblr were able to go back to posting ridiculous screenshots and cool photo edits over the next week or so. You’d reblogged a gif of Colby about to lose his shorts on a waterslide with the caption “I feel like Elton has been trying to get Colby naked in vlogs since the start of TFIL”.

Xplr-lurker : *sent waterslide post*

Xplr-lurker : This is a fat fact. Lol.

Y/n : Right? Hahahahaha

Xplr-lurker : I think he does it for views.

Y/n : Probably. It’s the same reason Colby gets shirtless in his own videos. He knows people will click the thumbnail, haha.

Colby sat on his balcony laughing. You were absolutely right.

Xplr-lurker : Is that why you clicked?

Y/n : Haha, nah. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a beautiful human being. You’d have to be blind not to see that. But I found Colby through TFIL.  

Xplr-lurker : What made you keep watching him then?

Colby felt bad for baiting you out, but his curiosity got the better of him. As far as you knew, he was just another fan. This is when he’d get your most honest answer.

Y/n : A lot. First, he’s a huge goofball. Watching him and his friends do dumb shit to make each other laugh is the best.

Y/n : And everything him and Sam have done together? Those two dudes are fearless. They just remind me that I’m the only one holding myself back, you know? One day I’ll actually get out of my own way and make something of myself.

Y/n : He also seems super genuine. He never seems afraid to speak his mind or call something like it is. It actually bums me out watching some of his “friends”, If you know what I mean. I know that not everything they put out there is 100% accurate to how they actually are in real life, but I hate that slimy feeling I get knowing that a lot of them use Sam and Colby and don’t actually give a shit.

Y/n : I know I sound like a massive fangirl at this point, haha. I think I just needed to get that off my chest.

Colby sat there trying to figure out how to respond. He had a huge grin on his face seeing you spill your guts like you did.

Xplr-lurker : Haha, don’t worry about it. You just sound like you care. That’s not a bad thing.

Over the next few weeks, you guys continued to talk like normal, but it got a little more personal. He wanted to be able to call you a friend, but he was still afraid to tell you who he actually was. You two talked more about your passions and the things you struggle with. You’d always sent each other music to check out, but he’d confessed that he’d been dabbling in trying to write lyrics. He needed to find a way to talk to you as COLBY and not xplr-lurker.

*Twitter notification* Colby Brock Tweeted : “You feel so close but in reality I’m sitting here on my balcony alone.”

One of your tumblr friends had screenshot the tweet, adding the caption “This is how it feels to have better friends on the internet than in real life.”

You reblogged it and tagged xplr-lurker. You added “I wouldn’t trade our late-night talks for the world.”

Xplr-lurker : *sent tagged post*

Xplr-lurker : Yeah?

Y/n : Duh. You know that.

Xplr-lurker : Same.

Colby sat there, his fingers hovering over the keyboard on his phone.

*Twitter notification* Colby Brock Tweeted : “1 like = 1 ‘don’t be a pussy’ whispered in my ear.”

Xplr-lurker : Not to sound like a creepy internet person, but have you ever met any of your internet friends in real life?

Y/n : Haha, I don’t think you’re creepy. And yes! I’ve met a few of them. Why?

Xplr-lurker : I know we live in the same city and I’ve always wondered if you’d want to get coffee or something.

Y/n : That would mean that you’d get to see how awkward and clumsy I am in real life. I don’t know if I’m willing to put you through that, hahaha.

Colby laughed. That response was better than the “fuck off, creeper” he expected.

Xplr-lurker : Oh, shut up. You’d be the one dealing with me being awkward.

Y/n : Suuuuuuure. You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.

Y/n : I’m actually walking home from my favorite coffee shop right now, haha. It’s called 101. They’re open until 3 am and they have the best food.

Xplr-lurker : WHY ARE YOU WALKING ALONE SO LATE AT NIGHT?!

It was well past 2am and the thought of you walking the streets of LA by yourself kind of had Colby on edge.

Y/n : I live like 5 minutes away. Don’t worry.

Colby pulled up 101 Coffee Shop on his phone. It was less than a 10 minute drive from his apartment. *We actually live pretty close* he thought, switching back to the tumblr app.

Xplr-lurker : Tell me when you make it home safe. LA is scary at night.

Xplr-lurker : Also, that coffee shop is not far from me. If you ever want to meet up there, I’m down.

Y/n : I just walked in my front door. Stop worrying, mom.

Y/n : And I’ll be headed back there tomorrow around midnight. My roommate’s boyfriend is obnoxious and he comes over every night around then. I usually hang out at the coffee shop and work on stuff on my laptop for a few hours.

Xplr-lurker : I’m glad you’re safe. I’ll definitely try to make it there tomorrow.

Y/n : I’ll be the one with the messy bun, laptop, and baggy Y&R hoodie, lol.

Xplr-lurker : If I don’t chicken out, I’ll wear an XPLR hoodie.

Y/n : Well I need to go to sleep. If I don’t see you tomorrow, I’m sure I’ll still talk to you on here.

Xplr-lurker : For sure! Have a good night!

Y/n : You too. 🖤🖤

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.” Colby said, sighing. This was it. He was either going to walk into that coffee shop and blow his cover or he was going to chicken out like a little bitch.

The whole next day he had a hard time paying attention to anything or anyone. He was too busy trying to figure out the best way to tell you who he was.

“Colby!” Sam laughed, waving his hand in front of his friend’s face.

“What? Sorry.” Colby said, shaking his head and turning towards Sam.

“You okay?” Sam asked. Colby just stared at him for a minute. “I’m going to take that as a no?”

“I’m not, not okay.” Colby answered, sounding cryptic.

“Okaaaayyy.” Sam said slowly. “Care to explain?”

“I’m just nervous to meet up with someone later.” Colby tried to sound casual. “It’s nothing big. I’m just anxious, I guess.”

“Who?” Sam asked.

“A girl I met online.” Colby said, waiting for Sam to tease him.

Sam furrowed his brows. “Like on a dating app?”

“No.” Colby shook his head. “She’s a fan.”

Sam made a confused face. “Not to make it sound like I think you’re stupid, but are you being catfished again?” He laughed.

Colby couldn’t help but crack a smile, hiding his face behind his hands. “No, actually. I don’t even know what this girl looks like.”

“What?!” Sam asked, confused.

“That’s not the weirdest part.” Colby said, peeking through his fingers at his best friend. “She doesn’t know I’m me.”

“Is this for a video or something?” Sam asked, not understanding at all what was going on.

“Nope. I made an account to interact with fans and we just kind of clicked.” Colby tried explaining. “We’ve been friends for like 6 months, but we only ever talk through our usernames. The more I say this out loud the crazier it sounds.” Colby laughed.

“Sooooo, you’ve never seen a picture of her?” Sam asked.

“Nope. Not for sure. I THINK I found her personal blog, but I could be wrong.” Colby answered. “I only know her name because it’s in her profile, but she’s never asked me mine.”

“Is she going to be mad?” Sam asked, trying to wrap his head around the whole thing.

“That’s kind of why I’m so nervous.” Colby said, biting his lip. “She told me where she’s going to be tomorrow night and I don’t know if I should just show up or if I should rip the band-aid off and tell her who I am in our dms before we’re supposed to meet up.”

Sam had a blank stare on his face. “I honestly have no idea how to help you.”

“Don’t feel bad. I don’t know how to help myself.” Colby laughed.

“Tell me how it goes?” Sam asked.

“Of course.” Colby nodded, zoning out again.

At around 11:30pm you’d walked to the coffee shop. You ordered a drink and your late dinner and sat down in the corner booth. You worked on some things you were currently writing and gone through and caught up with your emails. At about 1am, you’d convinced yourself your tumblr friend had chickened out.

Right around 12:30am, Colby was stood in front of the coffee shop he was supposed to meet you at. There were only a few people currently in the shop, so it was pretty easy to figure out which one was you. He’d taken a deep breath and walked through the door, darting to the counter when he started to panic. With his back to you, he ordered a coffee. *I don’t even like coffee* he thought to himself. He kept peeking at you from the pick-up counter while he waited for his order. You had headphones in your ears, mouthing the lyrics to whatever song you were listening to. When the barista called out his name, he grabbed his coffee and left the shop.

Xplr-lurker : I’m stuck.

Xplr-lurker : You’re normally the person I go to for advice, but I feel like it’s unfair to put this one on you.

Xplr-lurker : You’re beautiful, btw.

You looked up from your computer, searching for your friend.

Y/n : Thank you? Are you here?

Xplr-lurker : I was. I chickened out. I kind of panicked.

Y/n : Aww, I promise you have no reason to panic. So why are you stuck? I’m always here to listen and give advice when I think I can help. You know that.

Colby sighed, sitting in his car.

Xplr-lurker : I guess it’s better just to come out with it.

Xplr-lurker : My name is Colby.

You waited a few seconds for further explanation.

Y/n : Okay? I don’t get it.

Xplr-lurker : Like, I am Colby Brock. I made this account to interact with fans.

Y/n : Please tell me you’re just fucking with me as a friend and not a delusional fanboy that’s trying to actually convince me he’s someone he’s not.

*Great* you thought to yourself. Not only did you have to walk home at night by yourself in LA, now you had to keep an eye out for a crazy person who wanted you to believe they were Colby. You thought this person was your friend and now you were afraid to leave the coffee shop.

Xplr-lurker : Neither? I know I fucked up by not telling you sooner.

Y/n : Well, since whoever is on the other end of this message knows I’m here alone, I’m going to call my roommate to pick me up. You know, you were really cool. You were my favorite person to talk to. This really sucks. You didn’t have to be anyone but yourself.  

When Colby tried to reply to your message, the chat said that he had been blocked. “Oh, fuck.” He said, jumping back out of his car. When he got to the door of the coffee shop, he could see that you were packing up your stuff.

“Y/n!” he called from the door, walking towards your booth.

Your eyes flew towards the boy walking in your direction, your hands frozen holding your laptop.

Colby slowly slid into the other side of the booth you were sitting in, putting his phone down with the tumblr app open. “I’m so sorry.”

“What the fuck?” you whispered, still not moving.

“You have every right to be mad at me and I swear I never meant to freak you out. I didn’t really think it through when I told you who I was. Is your roommate coming?” He asked, talking so fast you could barely process what he was saying.

You sat your laptop down and grabbed his phone. “My roommate wouldn’t come pick me up even if I did call her.” You said, looking at the tumblr app on Colby’s phone. You were the only person he had messaged.

“You were going to walk?” Colby asked, grabbing his phone when you handed it back to him.

“I was going to order an Uber.” You laughed. “This is crazy. You’re crazy.”

“Are you mad?” Colby’s face was apprehensive, waiting for you to tell him to fuck off.

“A little.” You nodded, laughing. “You asked me questions about yourself! I fangirled to you about you!” You remembered, covering your now blushing cheeks with your hands, hiding your face.

He laughed. “I feel the need to say this in person…You’re beautiful.” He watched as you peeked over your fingers. “And I’m the one that should be embarrassed about that, not you.”

“Why did you ask me to meet if you didn’t want me to know who you were?” You asked, remembering that this whole thing was his idea.

He laughed, reaching to grab one of your hands. “I’ve been trying to nut up and tell you who I am for over a month.”

“Why me? You didn’t even know what I looked like?” You were still trying to take in the fact that Colby Brock was sitting here in your favorite coffee shop holding your hand.

“I didn’t really care what you looked like. You’ve been a great friend to me since we first started talking and I was just some random person you met online…That has nothing to do with how someone looks.” He explained, blushing before continuing. “The fact that you’re also adorable is just an added bonus.”

You laughed, pulling your hand out of his so you could re-do your messy bun that was currently falling. “This is crazy. I want to re-read everything I’ve ever sent to you to make sure I didn’t make a complete fool out of myself.”

“Y/n.” Colby laughed. “You didn’t. I promise. There’s not a single thing you’ve told me that I don’t like.”

You stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out what the hell you were supposed to do now. “I have one question.” You said, leaning your elbows on the table.

“Ask away.” He answered, leaning forward the same way you were.

“What’s the REAL reason Elton always tries to get you naked in his vlogs?” You smirked, hearing Colby bust a gut laughing.

“Honestly, I’ve questioned it myself. The only answer that keeps me sane is clickbait.” He shook his head. “So, we’re good?” he asked.

“I mean, I don’t know WHAT we are, but I hope it isn’t bad.” You laughed.

“Well, we’ve been friends for over 6 months. I’d like to still claim that even though you know now that I’ve been a dumbass this entire time.” He smiled.

“I think I can deal with that.” You smiled back at him.

“Should I push my luck and ask you if I can buy you another coffee?” He asked, a shy look on his face. “I think coffee is disgusting, but I hear coffee shops make for great first dates.”

“You went from being afraid to show your face to asking me on a date.” You laughed.

“Well?” Colby said, waiting for your answer.

You nodded, your cheeks turning pink. “I’d love another coffee.”

I can remove any of the tumblrs I’ve used if you’re uncomfortable being mentioned. @daddydobrock @absolute-randomness-forever @sp00kybrock @jakeywebber @lightenupbrock @that-one-brock-boy @badassbrock @the-sun-is-dark @colbyjacksmack @rewindfridaynight @brockboytrashz 

[ubernoxa]

The Sip: A GNR Modern Day AU

Chapter 6: Just Friends

Previous Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5)

Chapter Summary: Alanah gets a call from her manager and Duff surprises her with some help.

Warning: Fluff

I sat on the couch in Sandy’s and my apartment wishing I was anywhere else.

Declan had surprised Sandy for dinner and they were currently out eating at some fancy restaurant.

A couple hours earlier, Declan showed up at our door with a dozen roses dresses in a full suit. Apparently it was their six month anniversary, but you wouldn’t know that if you saw Sandy at the party last night. There are times I wonder if she knows what the definition of committed relationship is. I can’t judge though, my last relationships was borderline fake.

Originally we were supposed to record, but they both looked so excited to go. Before Sandy could break the news to him on how she couldn’t go, I told her we could reschedule. We had some prerecorded stuff, so we could just post that instead. She was still hesitant, so I added on that I could livestream cooking. Eventually she caved and left for her dinner with Declan. I hope she didn’t cheat on him, but the way that stranger’s arm was wrapped around her led me to believe the worst. She was supposed to be the smart one out of the two of us. She didn’t leave without making a comment on how I should invite Duff over for the stream. I swear she just wanted me to get in a relationship again, so we could go on double dates and couples vacations.

I continued to stare in the mirror as I finished applying my foundation. My heart skipped a beat as the sound of my phone ringing echoed through my apartment. Duff?

To my disappointment, it was only my media manager..well both Sandy’s and my media manager. We hired her a while back to help us with the legal side of YouTube and to help with our social presence.

“Hey Alanah, hows it going?”

“Good, Good...preparing to do the livestream I just texted you about,” I began to begin working on my eyes as I spoke.

“Okay well...you know how I hate getting into your personal life Alanah, but...” God I wish she would just spit it out. I knew she was going to ask about if I was dating Duff or not. I know we’re not, but I....I don’t know. After this morning’s bathroom event, I needed to know what that meant to him. No way that was just two friends hanging out, or maybe that’s how a rockstar hangs out with girls? Fuck.

“Are you dating Duff,” I let a fake laugh escape me once she finally got around to asking the question.

“No, just friends.” Yup, just friends would had sex multiple times in the past 24 hours and then relaxed in a jacuzzi together. Just casual friend things.

My manager went silent for a couple seconds. Was she expecting me to say yes?

“Things just ended with Mark, and I just want to enjoy being single. I won’t lie, I shed a couple tears when I heard he said Alanah who....but I’ve heard worst things. Why are you asking?” I stopped applying my makeup and focused on my manager. She went silent again, and that wasn’t ever a good sign.

“Well, you were tagged in some social media posts.....” she once again paused causing my patience to go extinct. SPIT IT OUT.

“There was a video from the paparazzi, Ill send it your way. I know Mark is a celebrity, but he wasn’t a household name like Duff. If you two do start dating you are aware that you are going to lose your sense of privacy right? You’ll be added to his list of ex’s. That’s what you will be known for,” I let out a sigh as she finished talking. Jesus Christ, we aren’t even dating and I was already getting this talk.

“Just friends,” I faked the confidence in my voice before I heard her mumble something.

“Well I’m glad you’re doing well, I’ll send you a link to the video I was referencing. If you and Duff are JUST FRIENDS you should ask him to help cook for your stream tonight,”

“Really?” I sounded like a nervous middle schooler as I spoke. Why was I nervous?

“Yeah, could be fun. Have a good one Alanah,” she hung up before I could even say goodbye...typical.

I opened up Instagram and was immediately met with a bunch of notifications. Whoever ran the Gun’s Instagram page had tagged me in a couple of photos. Most of them consisted of photos from earlier in the night of us around the BBQ. I was surprised to see that I looked decent in most of them, and in a couple...only a couple of the photos...Duff and I did look like we were dating. He had is arm wrapped around my waist or I was sitting on his lap. We aren’t dating though just friends.

I went over to his page to message him, and that’s when I froze. I immediately clicked on the most recent post and scrolled through the photos. There was one photo that caught my attention. It was from when we were eating dinner last night. It must have been cropped because it was just the two of us, but I remembered this moment. He had just made a joke that was so stupid I couldn’t help, but laugh. Yesterday I didn’t notice it, but he was smiling down at me as I giggled in the photo and he had his hand wrapped around my waist. I couldn’t read into that much more. We are just friends. We are nothing more than friends. FRIENDS.

I logged into the Instagram account specifically for Sandy’s and my YouTube channel and began to record a video.

“Hey guy! Hope you’re haveing a great Tuesday. Sandy is out celebrating an anniversary so you’re stuck with me tonight!”

“Tonight I will be live-streaming me attempting to cook something you guys comment below! So comment your ideas and hopefully I won’t burn them!”

I then when to share the video on twitter and Tumblr to try to gain traction.

I put some music on and began to scroll through the comments trying to find an idea of what to cook. The comments started out as helpful but after some scrolling a lot of the comment were about Duff....I placed my phone out and let out a sigh.

“Are you and Duff dating?”

“Wow, talk about a rebound”

“Duff + Alanah... #upgrade”

Why did I have to deal with this bull shit? Not that I wouldn’t mind being his girlfriend....but he was a rockstar and we were JUST FRIENDS.

I was pulled from my thoughts as my phone began to ring. Speaking of the devil, it was Duff.

“Hey, what’s up?” I smiled as I looked at my screen. His hair was all over the place and he looked exhausted. It must had been a long practice.

“I’m about 30 seconds away from killing my bandmates, you?”

“Well I’m currently trying to chose what to cook for my livestream,” I quickly checked what I looked like on the screen. I was thankful that I put makeup on and did my hair, I looked pretty good..not to toot my own horn or anything.

“How about Thai Salmon?” I was caught off guard by his recommendation.

“Ohhh uhhh I don’t know how to bake that.....and umm...I don’t want to look like a fool on livestream,” I was tripping over my words, unable to cease talking.

“Well if you need help, I’m actually a decent cook. I could even show you some stuff if you want,” he wanted to help me cook?

“Yeah sure!” I could feel a smile growing on my cheek from ear to ear as I spoke. I watched a smile flash on his face as I answered.

“Great! So I’ll bring the ingredients we need and we also have to soak the salmon for two hours before it’s cooked!”

My stomach was performing backflips as Duff talked. He was excited. He was excited to hang out with me. Holy shit.

Time flew by as I began to setup the two cameras. The first was on a rather large tripod allowing you to see the entire kitchen, which wasn’t much, and the second was a small camera that would be used for more close up shots.

***Buzz***

I practically jumped out of my skin when I heard my apartment’s doorbell ring. I bolted towards my intercom to the lobby, “Hello?”

“Hey Alanah, it’s Duff I got the stuff, wanna let me in or we can try to cook in the lobby?” I chuckled as I hit a button on my intercom and buzzed in. What if he thinks less of me because of my small apartment? What if he thinks I’m below him? Is my apartment too dirty? Is it too clean?

A knock at the door pulled me out of my chaotic merry-go-round of thoughts.

I took a deep breath and opened my door.

“So this is what your apartment looks like,” he had a small smile on his face as he walked around looking at the photos that hung on the wall.

“It’s not much, but it’s home,” I shrugged leaning against the table for support.

“Its cozy! I got the food, shall we begin?”

“Umm...yeah..uhhh..yeah..so since the salmon needs to marinate I’m doing a little prerecording for the video to post later in the week if that’s fine,” I wanted to kick myself repeatedly for stumbling over my words. God! I felt like such a baffoon.

“How can I help?” I watched as he looked at my camera positioned to look at the entire room.

“You can do whatever you want! If you wanna help with the cameras it’s up to you. If you want to sit on the couch and be on your phone that’s fine too,” I shrugged watching his body language as I spoke. He actually wanted to help....the rockstar was looking to help..weird okay.

“So that camera there is for overall shots while this one is for like close up,” I held up the second camera showing him how to properly hold it.

“So this first part isn’t live?”

“Yeah, I don’t want to make everyone wait two hours. I usually take live-streams and create highlight videos,” I began to pull the items out of Duff’s cloth bag.

I looked over to see Duff fiddling with the second camera and eventually turning it on. Out of the corner of my eye I then watched as he turned on the second one. Maybe he wasn’t as unfamiliar with cameras as I expected him to be.

I then felt him wrap his arms around my waist.

“Hey...Duff,” I could feel my heart rate about to explode through my chest. I’ve had sex with him before, why was I nervous around him? Why the hell was him being so close to me making my stomach become an Olympic gymnast?

“Don’t mind me, I’m just turning on your mic,” and with that I hear a faint click from a small switch that turned my mic on. He then clapped once and went to pick up the second camera.

“I’m ready when you are,” I could feel my cheeks turning red as he spoke. His damn smirk never leaving his stupid face. He knew what he was doing.

“Alright, welcome to another cooking with Alanah and Sandy, but this time there is no Sandy so we will see what happens! My current goal is to not burn the food,” before I could continue Duff’s laughter echoed through my apartment.

“What? Also cameramen should be quiet!” I teased back pointing at the camera, only making his laugh harder.

“Alanah, babe, I’ve seen your previous cooking videos and I think your goal should be to not burn down your apartment,” I froze as I tried to make out what he said between laughing.

Babe?

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t get rid of the smile that had grown on my face.

“Alright so tonight we are making teriyaki salmon! The first step is to create the marinate!” I pulled out the cooking instructions I had made Duff write before he came over.

“Alright so for the sweet chili sauce we will combine water, white vinegar, cornstach, garlic clove, and.......maple syrup,” I looked over at Duff as I read the last ingredient.

“Are you messing with me Duff?” His laughter filled the room once again and I couldn’t help but join him. His laugh was contagious.

“If I was messing with you I would have either been more subtle or more outlandish,” I watched as he placed the camera on my mini tripod infornt of the bowls I had setup for mixing.

We spent the next thirty minutes preparing the sauce together, and I loved every second of it.

“And now we wait for two hours while the salmon soaks,” Duff said into the camera before smirking at me. He was good in front of a camera and he knew it.

“So now we have two hours,” I finished turning off the cameras and my mic as he spoke.

“Do you have anything in mind in how to spend the time?” This time I couldn’t help but let a smirk wander into my face.

Without hesitation, Duff pulled me in and we began to kiss as he dragged me to my bedroom.

[dvp95]

quiet on widow’s peak (1)

pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up  tags: paranormal investigator, youtuber phil lester, dan howell is not a youtuber, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 3.2k (this chapter & total) summary: Phil's got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story. Bingo squares: met on tumblr

new wip? NEW WIP.

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

The wind is loud in this one. That's frustrating, and it makes Phil's job a lot harder, but he can't control the weather. Be cool if he could. He does his best to level out his voice and the background noise of Mother Nature before he settles in with his good headphones and really cranks the volume.

It's even more annoying to listen to the alternating crackle and whistle right in his ears. Phil has dealt with worse during this whole process, though, so he finds the strength to power through it. He listens to the full thing three times, scribbling a few timestamps down on a Post-It pad as he does. He takes a break after that, does some stretches around his tiny bedroom and tiptoes out to get a snack without waking the whole damn house, and then he's right back in his apparently ergonomic office chair to subject his ears to more of this nonsense.

Wind, wind, and more wind. And sometimes just Phil's own voice. Nothing of note.

Phil is about to give this video up as a loss altogether when he hits one of the final timestamps and... can't figure out what that noise is.

For the first time since he opened this file, Phil grins. He exports the clip and plays around with it in Audacity. Some videos are always more fun than others, and Phil had felt like he was slogging through this one until now.

"Do you hear that, Theodore?" Phil murmurs. The tiny cactus on his desk, thankfully, does not respond.

It sounds like a person. It sounds like a person, whispering, and it definitely isn't the wind, and it isn't Phil's own voice, because he's in the middle of a question in this clip.

Phil might just be going crazy from sleep deprivation or wishful thinking, though. He pulls out his phone and texts the only group chat that doesn't cause him anxiety, which is comprised of the housemates that he actually gets along with. Anyone up? he asks, adding a single eye emoji for good measure.

Even though it's gone two in the morning, he gets immediate responses from all of them. A string of vaguely dirty emojis from Chris, a simple yeah from Sophie, and a cheerfully morbid did you know that insomnia leads to an early death? from PJ.

Wanna listen to a noise for me?

Within three minutes, Phil's bedroom is full of people in various states of sleepiness. All of them are in ridiculous pyjamas - including Phil - and PJ's hair in particular has taken on a mind of its own. Phil's room isn't really big enough for all of them, so there's some awkward shuffling before PJ claims the office chair. Phil sits at the foot of his bed with Sophie and Chris on either side of him, pressed close against each other's shoulders. It's a good thing he likes these people.

"I mean, it isn't the wind," is PJ's confident opinion. "Did you have anyone with you?"

"No, it's just me and my camera against the world," says Phil.

"No need to be a twat," Chris informs him. He taps at PJ's upper arm, impatient. "Let me have a go, then, if there's something there."

Chris is famously bad at hearing things in white noise, but PJ acquiesces the seat easily enough. Phil laughs, watching them do a weird step dance around each other in the small space between Phil's bed and desk.

"I can't hear any specific words," PJ says as he flops down across Phil's pillows, making himself comfortable. Phil just nods, because neither can he.

"How d'you know it's a person, then?" Sophie asks. Her voice is probably the only one soft enough for the hour. Their other housemates hate them for their frequent all-nighters, but Sophie is kind and quiet enough that she slips under the radar.

"You'll see for yourself."

When Sophie goes to respond, Chris interrupts in a hilariously loud voice, as if he's forgotten that having headphones on doesn't mean they can't hear him. "It's some kind of ghoulie or ghostie! I can barely fucking hear it, Philly, why didn't you mic it?"

"Why didn't I mic the ghost?" Phil asks, bewildered. Naturally, Chris doesn't hear him.

Sophie taps Chris on the shoulder and stands, leaning over his shoulder as she takes her turn listening to the sound clip over and over. Chris spins in the chair a few times and gives Phil an unhinged sort of grin.

"You got something this time," says Chris. He sounds like he's having just as much fun as Phil is, now that there's actually a thing to listen to besides his own voice and the loud, loud wind.

"I think so," says Phil. "Why didn't I mic the ghost?"

"I'm saying it would make your job a lot easier if you mic the ghost, yes."

"If I could mic a ghost, I'd be a millionaire."

"Then you better get on it, eh?" Chris laughs, spinning a bit faster. Phil has never seen the man sleep. It's a little bit worrying.

"Sure," Phil says, giving up on trying to teach any logic to someone who's clearly long lost their hold on it. "Next time I spend all night in a graveyard, I'll mic any spirits that might be hanging out."

"Shut up," Sophie tells them, mild.

Chris mimes zipping his lips, wrapping an easy arm around her waist, and PJ laughs.

For the first few months they all lived together, Phil had struggled to keep up with whatever dynamics were going on between the three of them, but he's long since given it up as something he's not going to understand.

After a moment of quiet, Sophie nods. "I hear it," she tells them. Even with the headphones on, she's quiet. "It's not words, I wouldn't put any subtitles over it."

"Yeah," PJ agrees. "Just let your audience duke it out in the comments like they always do."

"Thanks, guys," Phil says, feeling a sort of warmth sink into his shoulders. He notices that Chris is pulling up another application and half-heartedly protests. "Chris, you don't need to edit this one for me. I still haven't paid you for the last video." Or the one before that. Or the three or four previous. Phil has it written down somewhere.

"Don't be stupid," Chris hums, already clicking around erratically. It makes the editor in Phil want to scream, but he has to admit that Chris manages to find more weird visual stuff to isolate than he could on his own.

"I feel bad," says Phil, chewing his lip.

"I've told you," says Chris, "you can pay me back in chores and sexual favours."

PJ's slippered foot knocks against Phil's hip, and he grins brightly when Phil turns to him. "You know, I do have a bit of a laundry backlog."

"Funny thing, that," says Sophie.

Biting back a laugh, Phil shakes his head. "Alright, alright. Everybody leave their laundry in front of my door tomorrow."

"That's a no on the beej, then?" Chris asks, raising a single eyebrow and pointing dramatically at Phil. It has been near two years of this, and Phil is still too afraid to ask if it's a joke.

It's not as if Phil's answer would change if it wasn't a joke, because he's not interested in Chris, and he's especially not interested in becoming entangled in whatever nonsense his housemates have gotten themselves into. But, still, he might be kinder about letting Chris down if he were being genuine.

"That is a no," Phil confirms. "But I will wash your pants."

"Kinky," says Chris. He turns back to the screen and makes an incomprehensible hand gesture. "This is pretty shit. You know that, right?"

Yeah. Phil does know that. It's getting harder and harder to have the same optimism in every video that he'd had when he first started recording his wanderings around the supposedly-haunted places of Rossendale. He'd brought the camera with him when he left, but might have left that optimism behind. Phil only kind of believes in supernatural things - the way he only kind of believes in giraffes or true love - but it's been more fun than anything else to pick up a camera and try to find some evidence.

He's been doing this since he was nineteen, though, and he's getting a little bored by the formula of it all. Go into a haunted place, try to communicate with the spirits, pick up some garbled words or creepy noises, highlight visual oddities like orbs, and let the internet tear it all to shreds. Honestly, he'd have more fun making proper horror at this point in his life.

Phil shrugs and pulls his knees up to his chest. He wants to hide away from the sympathy in Sophie's eyes, from Chris' blunt words. "Yeah. I'm getting kind of... I don't know. Restless."

"Maybe you should ask people to submit things again," PJ suggests. "That went well last time."

It had, actually. Phil had needed to sort through a lot more ridiculous stories and obvious hoaxes than usual, but he'd found some nuggets of gold in all that hay. Or however that saying goes.

"People did like having their stories read out," Phil says slowly. "I'd just need to be extra sure that nobody's, like..."

"Ripping off r/NoSleep," says PJ.

"Yeah, exactly."

"We can help," Sophie says, and Phil could cry at how easily PJ and Chris agree with her.

He really doesn't deserve to have such great people around him. They've got work and lives of their own, but they're always happy to spend time crowded around Phil's computer listening to weird noises together. Phil sometimes wonders what they get out of it. Do they just like helping him, the way he has fun holding the boom for PJ's films or testing Sophie's concoctions? Or are they just as fascinated as Phil by the weirdness of it all? Do they want to see the cool instances of paranormal activity, too? At this point it feels nearly impossible to ask.

"That's going to be a lot of washing pants for me," Phil sighs. He doesn't know how to thank them, not when they always just wave it off.

"Sure is," says PJ. "But you should... ask the audience!"

"Your Chris Tarrant is pretty good," says Phil, only a little surprised by it. PJ's voice is as much of a tool to him as the rest of his body, and it's one he's always been skilled with. The impressions still tend to catch Phil off guard sometimes.

PJ tips an invisible hat. "Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week."

At his friends' not so gentle encouragement, Phil makes a few posts on his socials to ask his followers for new creepy things to explore. It might be the middle of the night in Brighton, but he has a feeling that Chris isn't leaving his desk until he's found every instance of an orb or strange shadow in the fifty minutes of currently uncut footage.

It seems like Sophie is on the same page, because she excuses herself to make tea for everyone. PJ leans over Chris' shoulder and watches the clips without sound, his lips moving as if he's murmuring to himself.

Sometimes this feels more like a group effort than Phil is comfortable with. He's never been very good at asking for help. As grateful as he is, he still itches with the need to take back control of the situation. He uses the slow trickle of fan submissions to distract him from that feeling, because all three of them do make his videos better when he stops being so possessive over his footage. Phil flops onto his back and scrolls through the incoming emails, tweets, and Tumblr messages to see if there's anything promising.

For the most part, the answer is a resounding no. Some things are blatant lies - there are countless ripoffs of films or novels that Phil happens to be familiar with, a few things swiped from creepypasta or subreddits, and his usual amount of conspiracy theorist fans insisting that some high profile person or other is a lizard - but most of it, to Phil's dismay, just doesn't grab his attention the way he wants it to.

Sophie comes back with tea and snacks. She leans her head against Phil's shoulder and watches him cycle through his apps, fact-checking idly and sighing every time something easily proves to be a hoax. Her hair smells like coconut and she makes a soft humming noise every time she lifts the mug to her lips. Her presence alone, small and warm and supportive, is enough to keep Phil from throwing his phone across the room and having a right sulk about how his career is in a tailspin because nobody makes ghosts like they used to. At some point in the night, Sophie's breathing evens out to the point that Phil thinks she's asleep, but then she reaches out to tap a tiny finger to his screen.

"What's this, then?" she murmurs.

Phil has been zoned out entirely for at least fifteen, and he blinks back into reality. There's a new message in his Tumblr inbox, one that seems like it must be over the character limit for asks. He must have submissions turned on or something, that's the only possible explanation for an actual essay being sent to him. It's barely broken into paragraphs with very little punctuation and no capitalization, and Phil has been staring at screens for far too long to try and parse this on his own.

"Can you please make sure this isn't, like, the entire Bee Movie," Phil asks, handing Sophie his phone with only a slight twinge of anxiety. He trusts her not to go snooping, but. Still. "I need to pee."

"Mhm," Sophie hums, already apparently lost in whatever stream-of-consciousness has been dropped into Phil's inbox.

The floorboards in this old Brighton house creak, and Phil has always envied some of his housemates for being able to sidestep the noises. It doesn't seem to matter how long he lives here, how much he tries to avoid making any noise, it's like the floorboards are determined to creak under Phil's weight. He winces as he passes two bedrooms whose occupants surely don't appreciate creaking outside their doors at such an ungodly hour.

At least he doesn't run into any walls this time. The nightlight in the bathroom at the end of the hall is the only thing lighting Phil's way, and he tends to stub his toes on absolutely nothing in this kind of semi-darkness.

When he makes his - very, very creaky - way back to his own room, he's bewildered by the scene that greets him. PJ and Chris have joined Sophie on his bed, and all three of them are poring over Phil's phone as though they're looking at a map to the Holy Grail.

"Hello," Phil says slowly, closing the door behind him. It creaks, too. "You aren't going through my pictures, are you?"

"No," Sophie and PJ chorus without looking up.

"You got nudes on here or something?" Chris asks with a mild sort of interest, clearly also too engaged in Phil's phone to put his all into the flirting.

"I don't," says Phil. It doesn't sound convincing, even though it's true, and he waits for Chris to tease him about it some more. When he doesn't, Phil has to admit that he's curious. "So I guess it isn't a meme or something?"

That makes them look up, in almost comedic synchronicity. Sophie blinks a few times, as if she's coming back to herself. She holds out Phil's phone and shakes her head.

"It's not a meme," she says. "And near as we can tell, it's genuine."

Phil joins them and takes his phone back, adjusting his glasses. His bed really wasn't made for four people, but his housemates have never had any personal space amongst themselves, and Phil isn't one to say no to human contact when he isn't getting it anywhere else.

The message is just as hard to read as it was at first glance, but Phil puts his brain to work. If his friends are reacting like this, it usually means he's in for something good.

hi ok so the thing is that this is completely ridiculous and i dont think its what youre looking for at all but theres a building near my uni thats got a ton of stories around it and it only started happening like this year like it isnt an old obviously haunted type of place but theres a lot of weird shit that goes down there so i found all the references to it online that i could and ive summarized them here (w/ sources ofc im not a dick) and its all just this side of strange so it seems like the sort of thing you might be interested in ok here we go SO

And it goes on like that. Phil feels his eyebrows raising as he clicks the provided links in the following walls of text, which are exactly what they're advertised as. Not a single rickroll in there. Just a handful of posts on Reddit and Facebook and independent blogs about various experiences people have had with a particular abandoned building in -

"I know this place," Phil says, surprised. He looks up at PJ's grin, Sophie's wide eyes, Chris' palms rubbing together in exaggerated interest. "I've been to parties here. Well, okay," he corrects himself before his friends can do it for him, "I've gone with Martyn to parties here and left early."

"Yeah, it isn't far out of Manchester," PJ hums. He bounces in place a bit, like he's suddenly energized enough to go jump on the soonest train up north.

"It didn't seem that weird," says Phil. "It's been a few years, I guess, but it wasn't even that scary."

"Sounds like it's only just started, though," Chris pipes up.

Phil isn't sure how much he likes that. The idea of a place he's been a few times, half an hour from his childhood home, being so suddenly full of haunted activity feels... weird. Still, it's catching his interest in a way that nothing else has in months, so.

"I'll look into it some more tomorrow," he decides, glancing at the time. His brother is probably still awake, to be honest, but Phil doesn't want to be that guy asking 'hey, do you remember the Wilkins place?' before dawn has even broken. Again. He has definitely done that sort of thing in the past. "I'll have plenty of time while I do, what, seventeen loads of laundry?"

"Something like that," PJ laughs. "Want us to clear out?"

As nice as the company and help has been, Phil still feels a rush of relief at the concept of being left alone again. He nods, still scrolling idly through the Wilkins place submission.

It hits him, very literally, too close to home to ignore. He wonders if his fan knows that, if this is somehow an elaborate prank that will end up just wasting Phil's time, but he's too curious to leave it alone. He'll just have to ask around, see if anyone else has heard these murmurings.

Til then, maybe he ought to try and get some sleep. Phil's computer, still open on the editing software, tempts him.

Well. What's another couple hours at this point?

[theboardwalkbody]

That’s me (in my nursing cap because it’s my most recent photo and capping ceremony was cancelled so I took pics in my house to send to nursing school buddies instead): Amanda - meme - Manda 28 NJ Tired AF And bored so I am answering this Ask Meme I found by @myautisticjournal​

What music have you discovered or listened to lately?

I’ve been listening to my Recently Added playlist on iTunes. Only “recently added” has been adjusted to include the last 28 months. lol But I did discover Blinding Lights by The Weeknd and that song’s been making me happy. Hurricane (Reimagined) by I Prevail has hit me in the Depress and next week The Used’s new album comes out so I’m waiting for that.

Have you made any new playlists since quarantine times? If they’re on Spotify, maybe drop a link?

I haven’t made any Quarantine Playlists because ALL my music is about being isolated and depressed anyway that like... what’s the difference? 

Make a three-song-minimum playlist of songs that make you happy!

Blinding Lights // The Weeknd (also makes me think of Data because I discovered it around the same time I started watching TNG so now they Go Together) Paradise Lost // The Used Dance Monkey // Tones and I

What’s your go-to show that you like to binge watch? Why do you like that show?

Currently its Star Trek TNG - because Data And One Day at a Time because that shit hits real. 

Are there any shows that you‘ve been planning to start watching? Why do they interest you?

It was just Star Trek and I did start watching. Interested because I wanted originally to watch ST Picard because Harry Treadaway but having never seen any ST before it didnt make sense (obvs) so I went back and started watching TNG. I didn’t want to start with the original series because honestly my attention span is garbage and I just was always curious about Data and so I started with him.

What movie(s) always comforts you?

Twister, Forrest Gump, The Lion King (1994). I’m currently wearing Lion King pjs lol. Pirate Radio is a relaxing feel good movie, too. 

Are you an arts-and-crafts person? If so, what types of art/craft do you enjoy?

I try SO HARD to be lol. So far during quarantine I’ve tried crochet, I’ve tried making string bracelets as if it was 2005 and I was in 8th grade again but I forgot how to make them and my brain refuses to re-learn its too full of music, nursing school, and data now. I tried coloring and lost patience. I have been working on a Quarantine Photo-Journal. Every day I post a tiny update and a few pictures (mostly memes since i cant leave the house and several Data photos lolololol) but my printer isn’t working right all of a sudden so I can’t print out any new pictures which I guess that one project I was really enjoying is out the window.

Do you have any planned projects to work on during self-isolation? If you’ve started any and you’re willing, share a photo of what you’re working on!

Here’s a pic of page like 3 or something lol

If you had to recommend an art or craft for people to get into, what would you recommend and why?

Man. Just do what makes you happy. I saw someone on TikTok making GIANT ass Worms on Strings and honestly. Pure genius. 

What are your favorite YouTube channels? Why do you like them?

Achievement Hunter. Rooster Teeth. Markiplier. They make the funny. Various ASMR channels. They make the sleep.

What is the weirdest YouTube video you’ve ever watched?

Conspiracy Theory videos probably. I don’t really know. 

Recommend a book or book series to read!

Across the Universe trilogy by Beth Revis read it and fangirl with me I am so alone.

Are there any books that you’ve read multiple times? If you could re-read a book that you loved as if it were the very first time, what book would you choose?

The Islander by Cynthia Rylant. I don’t know why but the first time I read it it just transported me into the middle of it and it was amazing (I was like 11) and it was so mysterious and everything. I’d like to read that one like the first time. Also Living Hell by Catherine Jinks did a similar thing 

What’s your favorite book genre? Why do you enjoy it?

Science Fiction. Because I like science. and Fiction and space and robots and things. 

If you were to write a fanfiction about your own life, how would it go?

LOL The tags would be like : #depression #anxiety #ptsd #childhood abuse #adulthood abuse #i miss having sex but at least i dont wanna die #except i still do #twsuicideideation #badluck #dontread lol

What’s the best fanfiction that you’ve ever read (or the top three if you can’t choose just one )? What about it made an impression on you?

My brain hurts too much to pick a top three but I will say I am currently reading May I by @ladyfogg​ and it’s been giving me the squishy feels and I am loving it and ya’ll should read it. Her OC is relatable and also inspiring and I think at this point I don’t need to mention Data anymore. (But I did). 

Do you listen to podcasts? What kind of podcasts do you listen to?

Off Topic podcast and used to listen to RT podcast when Burnie was still on. IDK what kind of podcast that is other than ‘usually wild’ 

If you could make your own podcast, what would it be about and who would you invite to make a guest appearance?

It would be about anything and everything. I’d invite anyone for an appearance lol

Are you addicted to Animal Crossing: New Horizons? If yes, what’s your favorite thing about it so far?

Yes. My favorite thing has to be CUBE. CUBE I LOVE CUBE. I WOULD DIE FOR CUBE.

If you had to recommend ONE video game, what would it be and why?

Cube. I mean, Animal Crossing. 

Have you tried any new recipes lately? If yes (and if they were good), share it with the class! I’m sure everyone is as bored with the same old foods as I am by this point.

I am too lazy to cook even when I want to so I always end up getting take out or delivery. 

What is your favorite website to waste time on? (Is it, perhaps, tumblr?)

Tumbebells. (Tumblr yes)

How are you finding ways to stay connected with your friends and family? From video calling to playing online games, what would you say has worked the best for you?

Nothing. I’m sitting here wallowing in deep loneliness and it’s killing me. It’s just my grandma and my cat and that’s why I can’t go out or work (I am a Patient Care Associate and I know the hospitals could use help but my grandma is 83 years old and it’s too high of a risk for her for me to be working in a hospital and coming home from there). 

If you have pets, first of all share some photos! Second, how have you been spending your time with them?

LOLA. L-O-L-A LOLA. LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LOLA She doesn’t leave me alone. Her new trick has been LAUNCHING her 7lb body on to my back while I’m standing and pretending she’s my goddamn backpack. And earlier today she decided to pull the socks out of my sock drawer. Because she loves me. 

Share your general quarantine experience so far. How are you handling it?

Bad. I often forget to take my meds, we’ve been on “spring break” from nursing school this week so I have 0 sense of time and no routine and I’ve sometimes been going to bed at 4am, sometimes 4pm, sleeping until like 9-11 regardless and I spend 95% of the day in bed. I can’t be bothered to change, sometimes can’t be bothered to really eat, and I care 0% about showering and Doing Anything. lol 

I mean it’s been great guys. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba I’m lovin’ it!

I did somehow loose 2lbs without trying tho. That’s a total of 7.8lbs lost since March. Only 125 more to go BUT THE GYM IS CLOSED AND IT HAS BEEN COLD AND RAINING.

I’ll shut up.

I tag @lyrslair​, @ladyfogg​ @datalaur​ and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it even tho its really long and I fucked up the layout so instead of 25 questions they’re ALL NUMBER 1. lol 

[maih-em]

who am i tag

i was tagged by @fitzrove - thank you!!! :)

Name: Emma (a nice and generic one!)

Nicknames: Honestly don’t think I have one? My family occasionally call me Em but not a lot. I spent my whole childhood bitter that my name wasn’t very nickname friendly.

Zodiac: Gemini (but I’m kind of on the cusp of Cancer so it depends on what website you look at, I think. I always say Gemini though.)

Height: Literally bang on 5ft I’m so small

Languages: English. Also, I’ve done 7 years of Spanish in school so I’d like to think I’m semi-fluent (but my Spanish teacher would probably say different)

Nationality: British

Favourite season: SPRING. Like I love autumn for the aesthetic and summer because it’s holiday time, but spring is just so PRETTY. There’s something so lovely in realising suddenly that the air just feels different and that winter is giving way to spring. I love a good crisp spring afternoon when you don’t need a coat, but it isn’t too hot to wear one if you want to.

Favourite flower: I don’t really know a lot of flowers but orchids are so beautiful (but I find the concept of growing them very intimidating – my mum’s are constantly thriving and I don’t think I can ever live up to it)

Favourite scent: Just classic things like fresh cut grass, rain when it hasn’t rained for ages. I also love the smell of tomato stalks & also coffee (but this is a very Different vibe and depends on my mood)

Favourite fictional character: Well I have to say Morse (mainly Endeavour era but I’m slowly working my way through the original Inspector Morse series) & obviously Peter Jakes (my son). I haven’t finished watching the Witcher yet but Jaskier is such an icon! Other favourites include Dirk Gently (in the BBC America series) and Richard MacDuff (in the older BBC Dirk Gently series) 10th & 13th Doctors, Ollie from the Thick of It, and Fleabag!!

Coffee, hot tea, or hot chocolate: Tea 100%. I’m not a huge fan of hot chocolate – I find it too sickly even though I have the sweetest tooth known to man (I generally just eat the cream and marshmallows off the top and then immediately get fed up with it). Coffee I’ll have occasionally but nothing beats a good cup of tea. I have mine black and really weak (it’s basically just water to be honest) and sometimes I’ll but a little bit of sugar in it. And I love an Earl Grey if I’m feeling fancy!

Average sleep: When I don’t have to get up for college I’ll literally sleep until like 10 or 11 am, but that’s normally because I go to bed really late (recently I’ve struggled to go to bed before 1 because it feels like more effort to go to sleep than it is to stay up on my laptop). Generally I get a minimum of 7 hours.

Dogs or cats: cats all the way. I’ve not ever had pets and see very few animals in my day to day life, but dogs just intimidate me idk. I only like small breeds but even then, it’s a fine line. Cats, on the other hand, though I see a depressingly small number of cats and get to pet even fewer, are PERFECT IN EVERY WAY.

Number of blankets: 1

Dream trip: Probably going back to Iceland because I love it there, or to various mainland European cities like Amsterdam, Berlin etc.

Blog established: about April 2019 I think?? I’d just watched Icarus and was desperately looking for George Fancy content because I was crying too much to sleep. Only actively started using it around the summer because I had managed to lock myself out of the account because my browser fucked up so I couldn’t log in with an autosaved password and I have far too many emails/passwords/lost Tumblr accounts that finding it was almost hopeless. I swear every email I could think of ever having logged me into yet another discarded Tumblr that I’d made at some point between 2015 and 2017 and never used again.

Random fact: uhh I have no idea what to say for this I’m so boring. Literally all I can think of right now is that I see pain kind of as shapes? Idk how to explain that u can do with that information what you will.

Gender: female

Current time: 8:55pm

Favourite artists: Hozier, Ashnikko, Pulp, idkhow, sundara karma and probably millions more.

Stuck in my head: Say So by Doja Cat because it keeps coming up as an ad on Youtube and Instagram.

Last movie I saw: I watch films so rarely that I genuinely don’t know I’m having to try so hard to remember literally any films I’ve watched in the past year ugh. I think it was Maurice at some point between October and December but late 2019 has all merged into one for me so I have no clue what.

Last thing I Googled: what the dates were for being a Gemini or Cancer for one of the earlier questions.

Other blogs: none that I use- if I were to try and find every Tumblr that I’ve ever had we would literally be here all day.

Do I get asks: Not really, I did an ask challenge recently only to learn that you had to enable asks to receive them on Tumblr, so that gives an idea of how good I am with technology oops. I’d love to answer any u guys have though!

Reason for URL: This is just the name of my a03 account. Honest to god I was making my a03 account in like 2018. because I had a fic I wanted to post and I was like hmmm, I need a funky username oh god I’m so bad at usernames and this was literally the first collection of words that came into my head. They mean absolutely nothing.

Followers/following: 27 followers, I’m following 41

Lucky number: I wouldn’t say I have a lucky number, but my favourite number is 4

Currently wearing: PJs, which was a mistake because it’s making it very hard to motivate myself to get up and have a well-needed shower.

Dream job: Idk I’ve always liked the idea of being a teacher but other than that I have absolutely no idea.

Favourite foods: Oh god this is so hard to pick. Redcurrants, minestrone soup, feta, kale, wraps, I could go on infinitely.

Instruments: I’ve owned a guitar for years and yet can only play a very small range of chords quite badly. I’m a little better at ukulele mainly because it’s a better size for my tiny hands. I play a little bit of piano, but I don’t practice as much as I’d like because I don’t like doing it when other people are around idk.

Favourite song: it changes all the time but currently Sour Times by the Civil Wars (which I found on @bryndeavour ’s ‘falling in a chain reaction’ playlist which I’ve been listening to almost exclusively for an entire week.) Also probably Damn it all by The Staves, working bitch by ashnikko, coconut skins by damien rice, that’s all i can think of right now

I’m sure most people have been tagged already but if anyone who hasn’t would like a go, consider this me tagging you!

[theliterarywolf]

I honestly wonder why I even use tumblr anymore. I mean I know it's because there's a lot of great artists and tutorials on here but the fact that it can all just be randomly taken down or the artist harrased off this site just makes me mad. Ugh, I really wish there was an good alternative to this site. Is Deviantart still a thing? I mean maybe I'm being overdramatic but I feel like I'm having an existential crisis here.

DeviantArt very much is still a thing but I haven’t used it since I was in high school and I’ve only heard worse and worse things about how the administration has become over the years, including fluctuating standards of what is and isn’t NSFW.

Honestly, 100% not even joking, the main reason I came to tumblr was for art, fandom content, and erotic content for said fandoms. 

Fandom slowly grew into the cancerous state it is today so that’s one of tumblr’s main selling points gone. 

Oop, then there’s a rampant reposting problem on this site so it’s hard to follow blogs handled by the actual artists of said work. Selling point two gone.

But at least there’s still the erotica, right? 

Right?

Well… Thanks to tumblr @staff and @support not doing the blatantly obvious thing and actually moderating this hellhole and creating a website that would actively bring in enough advertisement revenue and, instead, opting to turn a blind eye to the plague of bots using their website to not only advertise shady porn sites but also skeevy drug dispensaries and blatantly false Russian/Ukranian/Belarusian donation bots…

That’s gone too! 

Hell, I can’t even say ‘well, the original content that’s hosted here is good’ because discovering original content/content creators being discovered on this tumor of a social media service is AWFUL. Something that was made only worse with tumblr implementing useless features like ‘Follow this Tag and only be shown the same two posts ad nauseum’!, and ‘Tumblr Spotlight on Random Celebrity/Band/Show You Couldn’t Give Two Shits About and Probably Don’t Need the Exposure and ALSO Could Probably Do Better Doing this on ANY OTHER WEBSITE’. 

Not to mention tag functions that are just bad on their own. 

I was struggling with the idea of hosting my original series on here, to get more exposure, but thank God in Heaven and all his Infinite Wisdoms that I didn’t because, 1, my series has a lot of erotic elements in it and it probably would have been caught in the purge. And 2, NO ONE WOULD HAVE EVER FOUND IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Not to mention that their counter-harassment measures are a God damn joke.

‘Oh, just block the person, lol’ - From their official statements

‘Okay, I’ve done that but they’re still slandering me’

‘Well, we’re relying on an old, outdated New York law that states that the definition of Slander has to fill our specific definition so, sucks to be you kinda’ - From an email they sent to me in regards to someone slandering me

‘Okay, what if this slander effects my business/income? Can I fucking sue you then because, obviously, you guys didn’t want to help me before it got to that point’

‘Lol, you can try it but you’re probably going to just waste your money! Stay mad, thoooo~’ - Paraphrasing of another email they sent me back when someone on here was slandering me.

So, yeah, I feel the frustration. I’ve slowly started trying to get used to Instagram for social media purposes but I was JUST INFORMED that they don’t allow erotic art so… What in the fuck..?

I hate that fucking WritScrib tanked. I hate that PillowFort doesn’t appeal to me. I hate that other websites that promise creative freedoms and free speech end up turning into child abuse farms and Nazi thinktanks. 

This fucking sucks so hard… And, to think, it wouldn’t be so bad if the people running tumblr just. 

Gave. 

Two.

Shits.

About.

Their.

Users.

And, for GOD’S SAKE, handle your bot problem! You’re making the YouTube Kids Algorithim Shit-show look like freaking Weekend at Bernie’s!!

[auroraphilealis]

just a small list of fic recs

Earlier this morning my friends asked for some fake dating phan AU fics and I realized that making a fic rec list might be a good way to show some appreciation for fanfic author appreciation day!

I don’t have all day free like I wish, so I asked my friends for a few smaller catagories that I could shift through and find a few fics to rec from, that way I can get a good mix of fics for people to enjoy, and find as many authors as possible to thank! 

Of course, I can’t possibly have read every fic out there ever, so if you aren’t on here that’s no like, disrespect to you or anything. Every single person whose ever written and posted a fanfic deserves to be recognized and loved for what they’ve produce for us, so just know that I appreciate every single one of you, on or off this list!

To add to this, I tired to pick some older, or smaller works that people may have not seen before to give the authors a little lift if possible :)

Without further ado, below you’ll find some fic recs and author appreciation below !

Fake Relationship:

Our Threadbare Lies - @ramonaspeaks -  Dan is eighteen years old and newly single. He's ready to come out to his family but he thinks it would be a hell of a lot easier if he had a boyfriend to help him through it.

This is like one of my all time favorite fake relationship fics of all time. Honestly it was so well done and really realistic and the writing is just superb. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve re-read this fic, (as well as most of the authors other works) because it was just so well done, so thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to the author for all the hard work they put into it! On top of that, it holds really, really close to 2009 timeline (as we know it) and manages to make things work that might not have worked in their AU if they weren’t so smart about it

Maybe, Possibly - @cafephan -  Phil’s mother is adamant that he should be settling down, so invites one of his turbulent exes to an annual family get-together the following day. In a moment of panic, he tells her he’s already dating someone. With no other options, he turns to Dan.

aldjflkas I fucking love this fic so freaking much. I’ve read it like ten million times. Everytime it shows up on my dash I open it to read it again. It’s just really funny and sweet in a strange way, and captures an essence of dnp that I really enjoy. I like how easy it is for dnp to pretend to be together in this fic, and how easy it is for them to then transition to ACTUALLY being together. It’s the perfect kind of non-dramatic get together fake relationship AU ever and I really, really do love it. Again, massive thank you to the author!

friends dont treat me like you do - @internetakeover (i think i got your @ right) -  Why had Dan agreed to this? Pretending to be Phil’s boyfriend at his ex’s wedding had seemed like a nice idea at first, a way to meet some of Phil’s old university friends while helping him avoid humiliation, but already Dan’s on edge. If Dan allows himself to relax for a day, lets himself watch Phil as much as he wants, touch Phil as much as he wants, carry on their flirtatious banter when normally he’d laugh it off... he’s worried about what Phil might see.

I ended up re-reading this after I stumbled across it again just now hahaha I really love this fic. It’s super cute and a little sappy cause WEDDING FIC but that’s what makes it so worth the read. I love that both Dan and Phil realize how easy their relationship is, and the fact that they’ve technically been dating for a long time and that they love each other. I love that they realize this the way that they do, and it just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, so thank you so much to the author <3

Asexuality

Between Us - @winteredspark who doesnt appear to have a tumblr :( - "I think I'm asexual," Dan breathes against the crook of Phil's neck, blinking back tears.There's a pause, then -"Nice to meet you, asexual. I'm Phil," says Phil.

This is the asexual fic that helped me to realize that I’m asexual and that asexuality is a spectrum that isn’t limited to one version or another. I remember leaving a really long thoughtout comment to the author but I can’t not rec it here as well. It’s just such an amazing asexuality fic and it’s a little bit of a different take not it considering the character exists on a different part of the spectrum than most ace fics portray. I will always be grateful to this author for this fic!

let’s save up for something new - @deletablebird -  Phil wakes up shivering the morning of October 19th, 2009. Today is the day he meets Dan. Fluff, 3.5k

I love this author with my whole heart and I’ve read everything they’ve written lol. This is just a really, really cute and lovely take on 2009 with the asexual aspect included and it really made my heart happy, so thank you so so much for this fic!

Theater

Disguises - @ramonaspeaks -  Phil auditions for a play at a local theater and meets Dan, who spends most of his time acting whether he’s on stage or off.

Again, another fic from one of my favorite authors of all time. This is like my actual favorite theater au of all time. I am completely in love with the whole thing. It feels so real, and their characters are so well fleshed out, and each scene is just actually fantastic. I solidly recommend this one and I am soooo thankful to the author for bringing it into existence!

just touched down in london town - @phanetixs - "Hamilton is actually really nice and the plot is very interesting and okay, well, there’s this guy."In which, London is not as bad in the summer, a cute guy dies considerably in Act III and Phil has actually lucked out for once.

Look not only do I stalk all of this authors fics, but this is one of my all time favorites of theirs. They managed to take an idea that almost seems ludicrous and make it into something not only super hot, but super realistic and really, really, really fun. I absolutely adore this fic and I give you all the kudos my wonderful author. Thank you for writing such a wonderful au!

Which as they kiss, consume - @irrevocablys which for some reason it wont tag you :( -  Dan’s an aspiring actor, and Phil’s so over studying Romeo and Juliet.

This was one of my first theater au’s and I truly adore it. its just like got this super cute undertone to it thats incredibly wonderful? I just love the way the characters interact and the ease and flow of the writing <3 thank you for giving us something so beautful

Supernatural Elements

Ride with the moon in the dead of night - @mooksie01 -Phil seriously needs to buy some allergy medicine or something. Or at least open a window next time he performs a demonic ritual. He wouldn't have thought that one little sneeze could've messed up a spell so bad, but now he has a demon on his hands and only six days to get rid of it before he's stuck with it forever....And maybe the demon is acting like a total cinnamon roll, but Phil is positive that it's all just an elaborate ruse.

ajdlsfkjasdlkjfls omfg I love this fic so much. I actually adore fics with supernatural elements in them and this is one of those fics that always stands out to me. It’s just really hilarious and well written and is just overall a fun take on witch phil. I just, i really love it, and I’m so grateful it exists. Thank you wonderful author <3

Reflections of the Heart - @butterflyphil - “Being told to dress up in a dinosaur onesie and have cereal catapulted at your face is a little odd. Waking up to find that you and your best friend have switched bodies? That’s fucking bizarre.”(Or, the multi-chaptered, slightly smutty bodyswap fic that no one asked for. Featuring whiny/annoying!Dan, sassy/beguiling!Phil, unintentional innuendos, intentional innuendos, unnecessary kitchen supplies, and just a pinch of magic).

UHM, THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVE FICS? Lol. I just really freaking love body swap fic and you did such a good job with this fic. it’s honestly just super fun and a little hot and really cute and beautiful overall. I really just, really cant thank you enough for this fic and rec it really really highly!

Vampires & Werewolfs

High - @icandigelvis -  Just the ordinary story of Dan and Phil, except one little detail. Phil isn't human in this one. Expect biting, bickering, playlist live, blood, bad jokes and sex.

ajdslfkjasl listen I love vampire fic and this one is just so good. it’s so true to dnp’s personalities and just like, accurate to who they’d be tbh. And like, the fact that it sticks so close to reality aside from the vampire difference is what makes it even better so thank you so much to the lovely author for writing it. It’s everything I ever needed and more from a vampire fic

Taking Every Chance I’ve Got All - @nagirci - Dan wanted was to get drunk, really. Have a good time, meet a few new people. He didn’t really think about getting involved with someone as dangerous as Phil Lester (someone as cold, as pale and, well, as not alive), and he definitely didn’t think that one trip out to a bar would change his life forever.

This is like a really older fic that’s from one of the first phandom big bangs but it’s one of my first favorite vampire fics of all time as well and it’s just. really good and really well thought and the collaboration work on it is incredibly flawless. I honeslty would tell anyone to read it at any time because it comes together so well

Sharp Teeth - @theshyauthor -  AmazingPhil is a Youtuber and a vampire and according to Dan Howell, he is the nicest person to exist. From their first meeting in 2009 all the way to that one incident in the elevator at the BBC, this is their story.

Again this is just such a good take on 2009 and the reality of dnp with added vampirism tossed in. Plus the author is a beautiful wonderful person and I really enjoy their writing so its a total please go read this kind of fic x3 Thank you darling for writing something so wonderful <3

be sure to ring the doorbell - @frostbittencheeks -  Dan’s a tired sports reporter, Phil’s a friendly vampire with no real sense of boundaries and a propensity for bad Dracula jokes as well as leaving his unconscious victims in Dan’s kitchen. This isn’t how Dan thought courtship goes, but he’ll take it.

Can you tell I love vampire fics? This one is so well done, I literally re-read it constantly. I love the whole idea behind it, specifically the fact that Phil’s version of courtship is literally ridiculous and he doesn’t even think that they need to talk about it hahahaha I just love how funny and adorable it is and it’s just totally worth a few minutes of your time

a puppy sort of love - @symmetricdnp -  Dan's supposedly a werewolf. Phil has doubts.

I honestly want to beg this person to write me more of this fic cause the permise is just that good. There are so few werewolf fics in the phandom, and especially ones that are this cute, thoughout , and well written. I absolutely adore this fic and I totally rec it to all of you. The author is wonderful, thank you so much for writing this fic <3

Blind

It’s the blue of your eyes, and the way you’re scared, love - @glitteraccent Soulmate (Color)! & Blind!Phil  au 

Okay but like this story always sticks out in my memory and I think on it often. It’s one of my all time favorite soulmate au’s and blind au’s, because it was just structured so well and the characters make your heart fall for them really, really fast. I love this author and tumblr wont tag them, but reblog their fic and give them all the love in the world!