#GOD im sick in the head jesus christ

[miss-katsune]

the eeper

kinda selfship art bc I used my kinsona but also kinda just regular nuzi art cuz my sona is not that much different to canon uzi idk man whatever I hope this turned out good sdfsfgndkjhg

[bunnihearted]

im the one society marked as avoidant yet im always the only one who wanna fucking talk things thru. y'all are a fkn joke!!! im sry but u rlly are 💀 im the avoidant one. the one scared of conflict nd afraid of talking.... yet im always the one staying and begging to talk while the other one just leaves or is a wall nd refuses to talk abt it 😹😹😹😹😹

[vampslxsher]

.

[satanssquidgy]

Whoever was talking bad about Wooyoung enough for him to see i will personally rip u to shreds what is wrong with you

Wooyoung deserves to love himself regardless of what atinys think and fuck whoever and whatever someone said to promlt him to go on a tangent about weight again. Wooyoung is perfect just as he is. Period. End of discussion.

[doctor-cunt-phd]

Im so down bad for o'neill its actually perplexing. His sorrowful brown eyes and boyish charm are a one two punch directly to my heart. And the silver hair, eyebrow scar and generally commanding aura he has about him are. Uh. Punches elsewhere- Thatsnotimportant

[junhui-recs]

i already know im gonna hit the tag limit so here i am talking in the reblogs about why you make me incredibly feral and emotionally unwell and then i am going to cry in the tags so buckle up bff this is gonna be a ride im annotating this like a mf ive got my color coded sticky notes and highlighters and papermate flair pens at the ready

WHY. WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO WRITE THIS I AM DEVASTATED WHO HURTY OU

what the fuck. what the fuck m goinf to cry what the fukc. he is so. ARGAHGJK BAKRK JBKHSKFAKJAA

listen i dont condone miscommunication but this trope FUCKS

I AM LITERALLY PUNCHING HOLES IN MY WALL RIGHT NOW PLEASE DEAR GOD I NEED HELP I CANT DO THIS

IM SCREAMING IN AGONY IM WAILING IM SUFFERING I CANT LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE

All Through The Night Prequel

Requested by: an anon

Summary: Seungcheol finds you, his roommate, curled up and half asleep in your favorite living room chair. You haven’t slept well in days, but Cheol thinks he’s found something that can help you. Him.

Rating: T | Word Count: 1.3k

Notes: insomnia, some tears, hurt/comfort, roommate au, gn reader, petnames

AN: written as prequel to All Through The Night but can be read as a standalone!

Seungcheol stumbles down the hall, eyes bleary and pajamas skewed, to grab a glass of water. He rubs his palm down his face, pushes his messy hair back, and makes it all the way to the kitchen before he sees you, curled up in a chair with your chin on your knees. 

Your gaze looks empty, your skin dull, under eyes puffy with lack of sleep. 

For the last week, he’d thought something might be wrong with you, and now he knows. 

You’ve struggled with insomnia as long as Seungcheol has known you. 

Sometimes, it’s not so bad, just a couple nights a week where you can’t fall asleep, and you’re a bit more tired than normal but you can still function. 

He didn’t see one of the bad times until you moved into the room left vacant when Joshua went to live with his partner. Jeonghan was still living with him, and you’d been apprehensive about living with the both of them at first, but warmed up quickly when you saw how they bickered like an old married couple.

You’d been so vibrant when you first moved in, cooking with them and playing games of hot lava and teaching Cheol to french braid when Jeonghan’s hair got long enough. He’d fallen for you quickly, over days and nights and mornings with you. 

You’d faded though, slowly but surely. Started spending more time in your room, eating less, dancing less, declining invitations to games and clubs and hangouts with friends.

It took him a while to notice, he hates to admit. 

He finally realized something was seriously wrong when he found you one night, curled up on the chair like you are now, tears streaming from your absent, exhausted eyes. 

He’d whispered your name, called it louder when you didn’t respond, and eventually made his way over to the chair, crouching in front of you and leaning in to catch your eyes. 

It was like you were staring straight through him, seeing but not looking, and it had made his blood run cold, made his heart stutter in his chest and his brows furrow, his hands come up to hold yours. 

You were freezing, skin cool to the touch, and Cheol had rubbed your fingers between his palms, trying to get your blood pumping again. That was what woke you up, what brought you back, and you’d stared down at him, confusion and exhaustion evident. 

“How long have you been out here, baby?” Seungcheol asked you gently. 

You shook your head slowly, blinking sluggishly, “I’m not sure. What time is it now?”

Your voice had sounded scratchy, thin, and his jaw clenched in concern before he answered, “It’s quarter after four, sweetheart.”

Brows raised, you pursed your lips, let slip a surprised oh. 

“When did you get up?” he questioned apprehensively, dreading the answer. 

Your eyes drifted to the side, lashes fluttering as you try to remember, “Maybe midnight?”

You’ve been sitting out here, in the dark, cold living room, alone, for four hours? And he was just, what, sleeping peacefully? No. That doesn’t work for him. 

“How long has this been going on?” Cheol inquired, shoulders tensed up next to his ears as he waited for you to respond. 

“A couple weeks,” you’d breathed out in a small voice, thready like you might really cry, and Seungcheol settled on the floor, folded his legs, and reached up to tug you out of the chair and into his lap. 

You went willingly, your limbs clumsy and full of static, and rested your head on his shoulder heavily. He could feel you blinking into his skin, and the way you'd folded into yourself made you seem so small, Cheol thought he could feel his heart start to split. 

He’d hated himself for not seeing it, not seeing what was going on with you, and when you fell asleep in his arms, body like lead against him, he stood slowly and carried you to your room.

He’d tucked you in and turned to leave, but you still looked cold, and sleepy, and sad, and he couldn’t stop himself from climbing in next to you, shuffling onto your duvet and carefully draping an arm over you, staring at your sleeping face until he joined you. 

Just before he fell asleep, Seungcheol promised himself he’d never let you go through this alone again. 

He abandons his original goal, water instantly forgotten as he speeds over on light feet to kneel in front of you. You don’t notice him, don’t move at all, just keep staring into the distance and breathing shallowly. It reminds him so much of the first time he’d found you like this, and his heart clenches in fear. 

“When’d you get up, sweetheart?” Seungcheol asks quietly. 

Your eyebrows pinch when your eyes find him, probably wondering when he’d appeared, and he sends you an encouraging smile, waiting patiently for you to find your words. 

“Not long ago, I think,” you respond, your voice hollow, tired eyes attempting to hold his gaze. 

He nods, wraps his hands around your ankles, rubs his thumbs over your cold skin, “And when was the last time you slept the whole night?” 

You blink at him, contemplating the last few weeks, responding, “Last Friday.”

“Baby, it’s Tuesday,” Cheol frowns, “Don’t you remember me telling you to let me know if you couldn’t sleep?” 

“I didn’t wanna bother you, you’ve been stressed too,” you whisper, hiding the lower half of your face in your knees and staring at him with big watery eyes. 

Well now he can’t get mad at you, Seungcheol grumbles in his mind. 

“From now on, even if I’m stressed or dealing with my own stuff, tell me,” he says, consciously softening his face and voice, “I always wanna know, okay?”

You nod slowly, pulling away from your knees enough to smile at him, just a sleepy little quirk of your lips, but a smile all the same. 

Seungcheol grins back, squeezes your ankles with his hands and starts tugging your legs down, unfolding you and standing to pull you up into his arms. He hugs you for a while, hums until you relax against him, waits until you find your feet and stand on his slippers, and frog marches you back to your room. 

He helps you climb into your bed, fluffing your pillow before your head drops down onto it, lifting the sheet and letting it float down on top of you just to see your tiny grin again. He’s just finished tucking you in, making sure you’re snug and warm and safe, when your fingers catch the sleeve of his pajamas. 

Cheol looks up to you, watches your half lidded eyes blink lethargically, waits for you to find your voice. 

Your mouth opens before your lips purse nervously, and Cheol wonders what’s wrong, vehemently hopes it’s something he can fix, before you whisper, “Will you stay?”

He takes in a deep breath, gaze wandering over your face, and nods. 

He slides into your bed next to you, under the sheets this time, and settles on his back, feeling your warmth next to him and staring up at your ceiling. Seungcheol doesn’t want to overstep or be overbearing, and tries to keep a respectable distance, no matter how much he wants to bundle you up in his arms, but you wiggle closer and closer, so he closes the gap, laying an arm out for you to snuggle under. 

You rub your face on his chest, throw your arm over his stomach and your leg over his, and immediately sink into sleep. Cheol can feel your breathing deepen, feel your lungs expand against the arm he has curled around you, and sighs in relief. 

Huh. Seungcheol guesses it was something he could fix. 

Taglist: @lenireads @confusedbansheee @junhui-recs @burningupp-replies @heeseung-lover686 @favehoshiposts @gyvswhore @jaysawake @1004luvangel @bangchanbabygirlx @baldi-2 @monamonay @dontyouthinkiknowhoiam @just-here-to-read-01 @gaebestie @noryyyyyyyyy @heavenly-mobo @smalliechelle @shuabby1994 @snowgirlfallen @noraehey @swinterr @fr0g-filez @taybabylovesyou @i4kt @dejavernon @onewoowonderboy @awkwardnesshabitat @kpoppingmypussy @coupsgyus @jinsonaz @enhacolor @highkey-fangirling @jaycheoluwu @tinkerbell460 @jihoonliker @aurumness @maybeifyoutrieddd @chwecardcaptor @luvdokja @hwhjsthetic

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[equallyshaw]

that one hurt | trevor zegras

zegras x oc hughes.

warnings: angsty, swearing, self doubt, and self belittling in a way. but, sweet ending (:

word count: 2.1k (longer than i anticipated lol)

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

molly hughes, older twin sister to jack, glared at trevor as soon as he walked in and slammed the front door. trevor did not acknowledge her after the loss that evening between them and dallas stars. she crossed her arms as she leaned against the kitchen counter, watching as he walked right past her and to their bedroom. she sighed, cleaning up the rest of the kitchen after baking some cookies and heard trevor walk back in. he was going on and on about a harmless habit she did, "how many times do i have to fucking tell you about this shit? huh?! jesus fucking christ." he screamed at the girl. she froze in her spot, as trevor grabbed his keys from the counter and slammed the front door again. her hands quickly covered her mouth, as she let out a sob. she'd never been yelled at like that before, in her entire life. she'd made sure she was always in peoples good graces and always put the needs of others before her own needs and wants. she felt betrayed and felt as if her whole being had been stripped.

she quickly made her way over to the bedroom and grabbed a bag, throwing clothes and a bag of toiletries in there. she had one place she wanted to be and one place only.

-

molly pulled up to the townhouse alex had gotten in santa monica, and she saw alex sitting on the front step waiting for her. he stood up as she turned off the car, meeting her to grab her bag and give her a hug. he rubbed her back softly, as she cried into his shoulder. alex looked to molly as a sister and was beyond pissed at trevor, and was ready to tear him a new one if one of her brothers hadn't already gotten to him yet. alex took the bag from the back seat and let her walk inside first. "im-im sorry for just barging in like this, al. i didn't know where else to go." she said sighing as she made her way to the kitchen. "don't mention it molls, you're family. im always gonna be here for you." he said smiling and pulling her in for another hug. he kissed the top of her head, as she calmed down a bit more. "did you tell your brothers?" he asked softly and he felt her shake her head. "nah...you know one of them would be flying out here even if they have practice or a game tomorrow.." she said giggling just a bit. alex knew that to be true. "well good thing i dont have work tomorrow so lets make some pizza and watch the office?" he grinned, pulling back and heading to the freezer. "frozen pizza session? dont have to ask me twice." she hummed preheating the over and taking out two pans. the two worked in unision, opening the pizzas and placing them on the cooking sheets to go in. "do you have any seltzers?" she quesitoned opening the fridge and saw her favorite brand, "oh would you lookey here." she grinned taking it out and opening it. "its like you knew i was coming." she hummed chugging just a bit. "well if i didnt have it, we all know youd chop my head off." and she saluted him with a knowing smile.

the two spent the night watching the office and finished off both pizzas and molly with a few seltzers. the two passed out on the couch for what seemed like hours before molly awoke to her phone ringing with her brothers contact popping up. "hello?" she mumbled, rubbing her eyes and seeing the sun begin to rise. "oh thank god you're ok!" jack said rubbing his tired eyes and molly heard luke sigh in the background. she looked over at alex who was sound asleep and she headed over towards the first floor powder room. she turned on the light, chuckling to herself as she saw just a tiny bit of tomato sauce on her chin. "wanna tell me why you turned off your 360 location missy?" jack demanded and molly rolled her eyes. "you have us worried sick - not to mention mom and dad calling us at 2 am asking if we had heard anything and then you've got trevor als-" she cut him off, "oh he was worried as to where i was? im sure he could give two shits jack." she said pinching the bridge of her nose and sitting down on the covered toilet. "whats that supposed to mean?" he asked taken back a bit, "maybe you should call your so called bestie back and asked what he said to me last night and see if you can put the pieces together as to why i turned my location off and left the house." she spat, and heard jack whispering to luke to call him. "he said something that really hurt me jacky and i-i had to leave. im with alex, im ok. i proimse, im just very upset with trev." she said softly, her lip quivering. "oh lovey, im sorry. what did he say? just so i know what to scream at him." he added the last part, causing her to giggle just a bit. "um-- its stupid." she hummed, trying to downplay the situation. "lovey it cant be that stupid if it made you turn off your location so nobody could find you and it cant be that stupid if it made you go stay with alex. just tell us molls." luke said butting in and molly sighed.

"i just have a weird habit and i knew trevor was in a bad mood and i did it anyways and so its my fault that he blew up at me. its my fault he screamed at me." she said feeling a few tears fall out. "he yelled at you?" jack said in disbelief. trevor didn't have a bad bone in his body, when it came to molly. he looked at her as if she hung the stars and the moon, and never had any inkling to hurt her. "that son of a bitch." jack breathed as he took lukes phone from him and marched into his bedroom. "there is no reason why he should have yelled at you loves. none. i don't care if he was angry or upset at the game, he shouldn't have screamed at you. don't make yourself feel as if it was your fault. we all have our habits, and knowing you its a dumb one and one that did not warrant his outburst." luke said trying to comfort his sister. molly nodded, "thanks lukey. its just, nobodys ever yelled at me before like that." she whispered and luke's heart broke. he knew how sensitive she was and how hard she worked to make sure nobody ever got upset with her. "damn he's really going in on trev right now." luke said hearing the shouting coming from jack's room. "oh lovely, well im gonna go back to sleep. its 5 am luke, yall are nuts for calling me." she giggled and luke chuckled. "goodnight lovey, sleep tight." and she thanked him.

-

it was around 11 am when alex and molly heard a knock on the front door, and mollys eyebrows crinkled. she sipped her coffee, before digging back into her sandwich while alex went to go see who it was. "seriously?" she heard alex's lack luster enthusiasm, "i know shes here. i want to see her." she heard trevors familiar and ever recognizable voice. "listen man, i dont really feel like yelling at you right now so please just leave." alex said and trevor wouldn't budge. "the three of them have already screamed at me and picked me apart for the better part of the morning. please, i dont need anyone else to add to that." trevor said with a hint of exhaustion in his voice. molly sighed, walking towards the front door and stood next to alex, "its fine al." and alex nodded and eyed trevor before he walked back into the kitchen. "outside. now." she said pulling the door shut behind her. "what the fuck do you want trevor?" she demanded, crossing her arms over her chest. she saw his under eyes darker and exhaustion in his eyes, and the look of pure regret and guilt written across his features. "im so sorry molls, i really am. there is no excuse for what i said or did and especially me leaving. i shouldn't have left and i shouldn't have said what i said. you know that i didn't mean it lovey, please. tell me what i can do to get your forgiveness?" he asked pulling her in close by the hips. "first off, you can take your hands off of me." she said pulling them off of her, "and secondly, you can leave. im not ready to speak to you yet. you hurt me trev, that one hurt. especially since you know its the most harmless habit of mine." she said setting her boundary.

trevor knew it would be hard to get her forgiveness, but he was also happy that she was setting boundaries because he knew that her being her, it was hard to do. even though it hurt him, he understood why she was. "nobody has ever yelled at me like that before. and i will not allow it to become a norm in it either." she said taking a step back. "so please, just go. ill talk to you when im ready." she said and trevor nodded softly, a lump forming in his throat. "alright lovey." he said taking a step in front of her, and placing a soft kiss on her temple. "ill be at home waiting." he said looking into her green eyes, and she nodded watching him leave.

-

it was two days later and alex was off for a small road trip, so as molly hugged alex goodbye she decided she did not want to be alone and lonely in the house. she cursed herself at 'caving' quicker than she liked but trevor was also her person, she missed him. over the past 48 hours she thought about the situation, thought about what she wanted to say to him and she ran it over with alex who supported her wholeheartedly. she drove down from santa monica to newport, and savored the hour and a half driving down the coast with some alred's coffee. she pulled up around 2:30 in the afternoon and saw trevor outside with jamie, pulling their surfboards off of trevors car. good, molly thought. hopefully a surfing session did some good and helped him refocus. jamie smiled widely as trevor walked passed him, once he saw molly's car pull in front of the townhouse. trevor turned around to shut his car door and saw molly's car parked, and quickly made his way over towards it. "molls?" he called out and molly rounded the back of the car, coming face to face with the hockey player. shes smiled sweetly and then waved towards jamie, who just like trevor still had their wetsuits on. "ill be inside, im gonna go get settled." she said softly to trevor as she walked passed. "call me later if you wanna get dinner." jamie said to trevor and trevor nodded and jamie left. the hockey player quickly jogged inside, looking for molly.

she stood in the doorway of their bedroom, cream hydrangeas in a crystal vase sat tall on her bedside table. a new joan malone candle stood in front of it, and saw a small card with them as well. she smiled softly, walking over towards it setting her bag on the bed. she opened it, and sat down on the bed. the letter contained everything that trevor could never get out on his own, the letter explained everything that he wanted to say but knew he'd be too flustered to say it correctly and in the way he envisioned. trevor paused at the door and saw that she was reading the letter he had written once he'd gotten back from santa monica. molly's lip quivered, and she looked up towards trevor. he quickly found himself kneeling in front of her, grabbing hands that reached out for him. "youre not losing me trev, i promise you that. i love you way too much trev, youre pretty much stuck with me for life." she hummed, giggling a bit. he smiled widely pulling her in for a kiss. his hands softly grasped her cheeks, pulling her closer. after a few seconds, they pulled apart before going in for more.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

hope you all enjoyed! if you did, please like and reblog -- i appreciate it (:

random tags: @zegrasworld @hugheshugs @itsnotgray @slafgoalskybaby @zegrasbabyyy

[aropride]

OH YEAH let’s all get mad again. cannot believe i spent 3 weeks debriefing this therapist on my lore and all my problems. only for her to start the fourth week talkingg abt my fucking mask for half a session. “do u wear it bc ur insecure” “do u wear it bc of gender dysphoria” “is it really the germs if u take it off to eat or is it something else” “getting sick is good for you” “it feels like ur closing urself off to the rest of the world and like silencing urself” “once school starts other people might be put off by it” “you arent getting enough oxygen” “its the elephant in the room i cant not talk about it” IT WENT ON AND ON. i was so frustrated i burst into tears later in the session over something completely different. im not taking the fucking mask off you’re coughing while you’re telling me that being sick is good for me. I HAVE ACTUAL PROBLEMS the mask is not hurting anyone and i am not at all upset by it i think YOU might be the one upset by it. there are traumatized children living in my head and you are worried about the mask. history of complete social isolation and now when i go out i happen to be wearing a mask Who the fuck cares At least im not in a psychotic episode in my room alone crying bc i think someone can read all my thoughts & also i am dead and haunting my own body. jesus fucking christ it’s a MASK. we are in a PANDEMIC. i tell you it’s so i don’t get sick and you try to slip me up so i admit it’s actually bc of some deep insecurity or a metaphor for being silenced as a child or something FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I AM GOJNG TO DO SOMETHING UNPLEASANT

[nctsplug02]

Husband mark fucking his pregnant wife plss

[11:31PM]

GENRE: father mark, fluff and smut!

WARNINGS: dilf!mark, pregnant milf!reader, kissing, breast play, breeding, praising, dirty talking, spanking, shower sex, and just pure fluff!

AN| happy (late) father’s day! i know, i know. i’m late to this post BUT, you know me, im late to/with everything! anywho, i want to say thank both my daddies. my dad dad and my bf daddy. ANYWHO! happy father’s day to my dad who lives miles and miles away from me, i love you dearly and wish you the best without having the best daughter in the world next to you. and to my daddy who’s next to me in bed (resting after having good pussy), i love you too.

the door unlocks and you try your best to quickly scramble up from the couch with your pint of ice cream in one hand and a fork in the other.

you hear a deep sigh and a bag being dropped on the ground.

at last, you’re able to lift yourself off the couch and onto your feet.

being seven months pregnant with a big belly was a struggle.

“mark, hunnie?” you call out and walk over to the front door space. “mark— oh, jesus christ!” you jump when mark jumpscares you.

“shit— baby, you scared me— oh, my god. i’m so sorry, baby.” marks hands land on your lower back and the side of your belly.

you sigh and attempt to wrap your arms around mark but your belly keeps you two at a distance. mark giggles at your cuteness and pulls you in front of him, putting his arms above your belly and dipping his chin on your shoulder.

“i’m sorry, hunnie.” you rub his arms and rock side to side. “no, i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to scare my pregnant wife— just didn’t expect us to go separate paths.” he laughs.

“it’s alright— anyways, how was work?” mark groans and drops his head back before dropping his forehead on the back of your head.

mark sighs, “i’m so pissed. it’s father’s day and they wouldn’t allow me to go home early so i could spend time with you and jae-mi. they said they’d let us leave early because they knew we had plans for father’s day but still were planning to keep us until midnight until taeyong spoke up and they finally just let us leave.”

you frown, “aw, i’m sorry, baby. i’m sorry you are under such a shitty company who doesn’t care about you. and, i’m glad taeyong spoke up. i genuinely was gonna be a karen tonight and march on over to your practice room and complain about you not being home and missing out father’s day— jae-mi was really upset that you weren’t coming home. every hour that went by, she asked and asked if you were coming home yet. it was so disappointing to tell her that you weren’t just yet.”

“not a karen,” mark laughs. “just a loving, worried, moody wife who cares about her husbands well being under my shitty company who doesn’t care about me at all.”

“but, what did you and jae-mi do for father’s day while i was out on schedules?” you smile and bite on his hand crossed in front of you. “we just baked a bit for you, y’know— made some strawberry shortcake cupcakes and brownies.”

“uhhh,” you jump and mark pauses. “let’s go to the kitchen and i’ll let you know else we did.”

you continue to tell mark about what you and your five year old did without mark while walking over to the kitchen.

“woah— woah! what the— woah!” mark gasps and lets go of you. “dude— what! yo, this is sick!” mark jumps excitedly as he sees the frosted (and topped off with cut up strawberries) cupcakes and powered brownies.

you laugh at how mark went from being pissed to being so hyper from seeing sweets.

“wait, that isn’t even the best part. look,” you go around the island and grab the drying white paper from the fridge. “look, look!” you hold up the paper and mark squeals.

“who made this?” mark says, grabbing the paper from you. “this is an absolute masterpiece, what the!” mark says, admiring the art piece.

you tuck your hands behind your back and tilt your head. “jae-mi made it for you. she said she wanted to make something for you that you’d like and.. she made.. a heart with the letter ‘M’ in it.”

“oh, right! she made more for you, look.” you grab the other pieces of paper from the dining table and you pass them to mark.

“aww, this is sick. where’s my little girl?” mark says looking through the art works.

one was a glitter-glued-on-written sign that said, happy father’s day to the best daddy, in blue glitter.

another said, #1 daddy, in pink glitter.

“your little girl is sound asleep in her bed.” mark evens the papers and sets them on the island. “well, i’ll tell her tomorrow morning that her art pieces for me were beautiful.”

“wow, those are really messy.” mark says looking down at his now glitter covered hands.

you giggle and nod. “you should’ve seen mine earlier— jae-mi and i had to take two showers.”

mark grabs you by the shoulder and slams your back onto his chest, wrapping his heavy arms around your shoulder. “now, what did mommy make for me?”

you laugh and shake your head. “mommy helped your little girl make you these nummy desserts.” you push out of his hold and you grab a cupcake from the tray, peeling away the cupcake liner and taking a big bite into the cupcake.

“mmm,” you moan, chewing and then licking your top lip to get the extra whipped cream. “hm, try it.” you hold the cupcake in front of marks mouth and mark licks his lips, leaning forward and then taking a bigger bite.

“holy shit— mm, that’s so good. oh my god.” mark moans and nods, jumping around while holding his crotch and shaking his head.

you laugh and continue to eat the cupcake until all that’s left is the liner.

“alright, baby. let’s go take a shower, yeah?” you whine and shake your head. “this’ll be my third shower of the day— i’m so tired of taking showers.”

you lean your chin on marks chest and you shut your eyes. mark mocks your whine and places his chin on your head.

“but, i’m stinky, baby. i’m all sticky and sweaty.” you push off mark and he interlaces hands with you. “then shower by yourself.” you say with sass and mark laughs. “but, i wanna shower with you.”

you tsk, “fine. but, you have to carry me to the bathroom. now, hurry, let’s go before i change my mind.”

mark quickly yanks his hands from yours and lifts you off your feet by carrying you bridal style. “mark!” you laugh unstably as mark bounces while running up to the bathroom.

“are you crazy?!” you laugh as mark kicks the bathroom door open and sits you on the counter. “what, you said to hurry up before you changed your mind, no?”

he was right, so you couldn’t be mad.

“just, tsk— start the shower will’ya!” you make an angry face and mark laughs.

mark walks over to the shower and turns on the shower, in an instant, hot water squirts out the shower head.

“get undressed, baby.” mark says, walking over to the closet next to the shower and pulling out clean towels.

“mm, why don’t you undress me yourself?” mark stops in his tracks and looks up at you, trying his best to hide the shy smirk.

you place both hands on either sides of your legs and you smirk. “i said why don’t you undress me yourse—?” you gasp as mark drops the neatly folded towels and jogs over to you, quickly grabbing at your oversized shirt that was honestly his from his side of the closet.

mark tosses the shirt behind him and goes for your loose jamies. he undoes the knot and tugs them off with needy grunts.

“mark,” you giggle while being tossed around on your ass. “don’t forget about yourself, you dummy.” mark nods.

marks pupils grow when seeing your huge breasts— thanks for your pregnancy that bumped you from a C cup to a double D cup.

his hands shake as they go to undo your bra. “geez, when did they get this big.” mark says as the push-up bra releases your mochi like breasts.

“they’ve been growing ever since my third month.” you say with creased eyes and an innocent grin as mark massages them in his hands.

“mark, stop,” you giggle as he tweaks your nipples. “you can do that in the shower but i’m getting cold and i can just feel the hot steam from the shower.”

“alright, alright.” mark frowns as he forces himself to pull away from your breasts and helps you down from the counter.

mark walks with you to the running shower after pulling off your panties and you turn around and you stop him.

“what?” he looks down at you.

“you’re still fully clothed, hunnie.” you point out while softly laughing.

mark looks down and laughs along with you. “i forgot,” he rubs his nape and sighs. “wanna undress me?” you tilt your head and sigh. “you’re a big boy, aren’t you?” you see the disappointment in marks eyes and you laugh even more.

“kidding, i’d love to, markie.” you pat his head when seeing him melt.

you pull up his shirt and you purposely run your hand down his toned abs just to make him flex for you. “you’re a cutie, markie.” you tap the tip of his nose and in a reflex for that, he scrunches his nose up.

you finish off by going on your knees and pulling down his sweats and his boxers all together.

“oh,” your eyes slightly cross when marks semi-hard cock bobs in your face. “markie,” you say in a teasing tone. “is this for me?” mark sticks the tip of his tongue out and scrunches up his face in embarrassment.

“let’s continue in the shower?” you ask and mark quickly nods.

mark helps you up off your knees and follows you into the shower like a lost pup.

you turn and give mark a kiss under the pouring showering which quickly leads to a hot and heated makeout sesh. “m—mark,” you attempt to call for him in the middle of the kiss but mark doesn’t stop, he’s addicted.

you somehow manage to pull away from marks needy kisses and you burst into a fit of laughter when seeing how swollen and red his lips are.

“geez, you needy needy man!” mark touches his lips and suddenly turns all red when feeling the swollen-ness.

“i just— it feels like i haven’t kissed you for so long, y/n.” you laugh, holding his forearms. “we kissed this morning before you went off to schedules.”

“not like that, we didn’t.”

“uh, yes we did. don’t tell me you don’t remember our quickie this morning.” mark takes a moment and then finally it clicks. “oooohhhh, right. dude, i totally forgot, i’m sorry.”

you shake your head while rolling your eyes. “whatever, just hurry up and fuck me.”

mark turns you and bends you perfectly so your hands can grasp the tiled walls. “don’t tell me what to do.” mark spanks you and you cry out.

“don’t be so harsh—!” mark spanks you once more. “i said don’t tell me what to do.” you look back when feeling his tip poke at your entrance.

“then don’t be so harsh— and stop teasing me, will’ya— nghh!” you moan when feeling mark ease into you.

“oh, fuck.” mark says, pinching your hip with one hand and using the other hand to hold himself up from leaning all his weight on you.

“baby,” mark groans. “you feel so good, baby. oh, my god.”

his pulsing cock pushes past your gummy walls and continues that many times. “mark,” your cheek pressed against the tiles and your hands laid flat against the tiles.

“harder, markie.” you grunt, grabbing his wrists from behind and crying out when mark starts ramming into your cunt.

“oh, mark!” you wail, moving yourself up onto your tip-toes.

marks face scrunches in pleasure as he feels you clench around him.

your hand reaches down and you begin to rub your nub that’d cried for attention. “f—fuck, i’m gonna cum soon. i’m s—so close.” you pant, rubbing quick circles on your clit and moaning like a wild animal.

you and mark both let out groans when feeling you squirt, the liquid runs down your hand and down marks cock.

“god— mark, i’m cumming.” you cry out to mark who continues to plow into you. “god, i’m cumming.” you whisper.

your knees wobble and buckle as your orgasm hits you. mark quickly holds under your belly and catches you, making sure he gives nice and slow thrusts while holding you up.

“cum, mark. i wanna feel your cum dripping out of my pussy.” you whisper to mark, slowly recovering from your orgasm.

“you want me to cum in your pussy? your pregnant pussy?” you nod, whining at how much more turned on you got just from hearing mark dirty talk to you.

mark does as you pleaded for and cums into your cunt.

his sloppy thrusts come to a halt and he stays balls deep in your cunt. marks cum dripping past his dick and falling straight on the tiled ground, it washes away from the powerful impact of the hot water being sprayed out the shower head.

“geez— i need to sit down.” you pant when mark pulls out of you— slowly.

mark lowers himself to the floor and sits you on his lap. “i love you, you know that, right?” mark chuckles. “of course i do. y’know that i love you too, right?” you nod tiredly. “to the moon and back?” you nod, again.

silence fills up the bathroom.

“so,” you start. “round two?”

“i’ll meet you in the bedroom in ten.” mark says, pushing you back onto your feet.

you leave the bathroom with a purple towel around you and you wait for mark.

ten minutes was too long and by the time mark was finished with his shower, you were sound asleep on his side of the bed with the towel still wrapped around your body.

[zeephyre]

CRITICAL ROLE CAMPAIGN 3 EP 95 SPOILERS

jesus christ these nerds are going to kill me.

before i get into my think piece abt... everything that transpired at the end of this episode, i would like to say this is one of the best c3 episodes.... one of my favourite episodes of all time. idk idk.

essek? smut? astrid? poly bells hells allegations?? i was already fucking sold dawg. i cannot goddamn believe that this four hour episode was... mostly... a shopping episode. i cant wait for the new art, regardless of the batshitery that happened that kinda throws my vibes off. i digress.

oh ashton greymoore i love you so much. i have been so worried abt them but honestly they're probably the lat person im concerned for currently. the grief was so compelling to watch and taliesin is a master of roleplaying as minus charisma but genuinely charismatic in his dorky awkward gruff and fumbling way. his rizz is actually just blindsiding us with earnest acts of service and comfort for his friends and i think thats so neat. im happy that they're all going to aeor with fcg intertwined throughout their outfits. its poetic and also maddeningly sweet.

(love the little callowmoore moments sprinkled through this episode... they're so real to me)

pumat was fun and i am so damn glad they got all the items matt offered cause they were all so fucking cool.

also??? sugar daddy dorian storm??? yeah i see you gay boy. dorym is so real guys we need to prepare for a confession and soon. idk i get the vibe liam is gonna drop it in the most heartbreaking way. or robbie. they're both sick in the head tbh.

loved the little queer inn that essek dragged them to and the calm before the storm was genuinely the cutest shit ever and im glad they were having fun despite everything. we got the essek and ashton dunamancy scene that i have been begging for but i cant even talk abt that right now.

before i address orym and laudna...

delilah briarwood. im gonna fucking kill you. best believe that.

theres been so much discourse on twitter abt who was right or wrong or this or that, but ultimately the point is: neither of them is RIGHT. they're both stricken with trauma and grief, and motivated by the love they have for a) the ones orym has lost and b) the one laudna is fighting not to lose. laudna WAS worried abt orym before delilah twisted that into paranoia, and orym didnt wield that fuckass blade bc he DOESNT feel sick touching it.

he says its not abt revenge but... god. orym. you want revenge. call it whatever you like but you've been angry for a while.

laudna says she KNEW the sword was cursed, but she was lying or in denial abt the fact that delilah is the one who coerced her to hold the blade in her hand.

if either of them had decided to talk to each other or the group as a whole then this could have -- most likely -- been avoided. orym decided to take the blade and shoulder the burden of what it meant and what it represented so they didnt have. laudna felt betrayed and hurt but instead of trusting orym she was manipulated back into that cunt's clutches.

i dont prescribe to trauma olympics, especially when laudna and orym never actually denied each others' trauma with otohan and that blade so i think its slightly irrelevant when discussing them both.

(i will say this... otohans blade is what killed laudna but delilah is the one who had her in a cage when she was dead. otohan murdered oryms family and there was absolutely nothing that could save them. i firmly believe THAT is what chetney meant, not that laudna hasnt suffered so we can all just... unclench a little idk)

in all the discourse, lets not forget who the real villains are -- evil milfs (delilah and otohan). delilah chose this moment to sew distrust in laudna towards orym for a reason. its like the spider queen and opal. she NEEDS laudna isolated and dependent, and she cant sink her teeth in completely if laudna has someone to fall back on.

imodna... jesus imodna breaks me every time. that entire scene on the roof while laudna looks so much like her abuser -- the woman who MURDERED her -- and having that visage fade as laudna proclaims her love for imogen. peak romance and tragedy.

it was still so upsetting hearing the echoes of delilah as laudna spoke tho. knowing her hold on laudna is getting stronger and laudna has no real faith that she will be able to fight against her. hearing her ask imogen if shes still fun scary and knowing that imogen cant tell the truth. this isnt fun anymore. laudna is in danger and imogen doesnt know how to fix it.

"I'll always love you, Laudna. I just don't know what to do with it."

its uh its not looking good for our sapphics fellas.

anyway, i do think that ashton was the emotional mvp of this episode, especially while shit was escalating. putting themself between orym and laudna, PROTECTING laudna despite knowing she attacked him, TRUSTING that she was actually telling the truth and guiding her to see the forest for the trees and apologize for an irrational choice made through a mixture of trauma, delusion and paranoia.

im... excited? for the next episode? not sure why we keep having really horrible inter-party conflict the day before going on a suicide mission but the hells are my problem babies and i have to accept that they're just little fucked up guys.

god. is it thursday yet??

(AND WHERE THE HELL IS SAM)

[catwyk]

tsv finale spoilers below. i wrote this during my first listen through. its long as fuck. im dead im ruined.

cull calling out to rane instead of faulkner.... rane is truly the real leader now

FAULKNER......

"katabasian rane? sister thurrocks?" im gonna be sick

"hes basically a cow" spit your shit carp

"people in my life keep leavin to serve a cause i just cant understand" BASHES MY HEAD ON THE WALL

"we must love them for fleein from our touch e must not run after them" oh baby :(

this is actually fucking destroying me right now oh poor faulkner. failed by the world.

"of course i recognize you. youre carpenter's ghost" // "yes. i am" // "that must mean that im being punished. arent i?" he sounds so small and young oh my god

"if this is my punishment, then why am i smiling?" OKAY PARALLELS TO HIS VISIONS IN S2. OKAY. IM NOT GOING TO CRY. I WONT.

his monologue is ruining me actually oh god.

"they invented their own faulkner. and they forced me to be him" THATS WHAT IM SAYIN

he called her his sister...

im sure hes gonna die

"you crashed a car??" // "yeeah. i crashed a car." i love her

"they need to fix you, they need to make you better, and ill, ill watch over your bed, ill be there, carpenter. ill pray, ill pray and pray for as long as i need to" christ alive. i need to lay down RIGHT NOW.

méabh de brún too good at acting like shes in pain im abt to dial an ambulance

EM??? EM MENTION. EM MENTION

ok this is fuelling my hc that faulkner reminded carpenter of em in some painful and undefinable way

"i should tell paige that story, if i get to see heg again"

"OUR paige?" CRYING FOR A MILLION YEARS. AND HIS "HUH" AS WELL WHEN CARPENTER CONFIRMS

twin mouths truther forever

"i hate you too, faulkner, i truly do. and i love you, too. in spite of everything" // "always on the very precipice of understanding one another"

faulkner's "DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!" is fucking me up b narr the voice actor everrr

SHES GONNA LEAVE HIM A CAIRN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"there'll be a place for you, and itll be beside me" DRIVING STRAIGHT INTO A LAMPPOST AS WE SPEAK

NO HES GONNA TRY AND KILL HER ISNT HE

"yeah. perhaps thats it. do you?" again. coolest fucking character on the planet

"this is when the waters parted, and at last..! at last he understood!" jesus christ. jon ware the writer that you are

"say you were raised in the service of a god of fire. so you feel like the world would be a much better place if more things were on fire" i busted out laughing WHAT a tone shift

"dennis duplace helped. hayward.. dad.. carpenter.. im leaving all of you behind" i am a husk of a person. lucille valentine knocking it out of the park

"best feeling in the world, seeing you walk away" holy fucking shit this is DAMAGING ME.

i wanna write every quote thats making my heart sting but the transcript is already up so theres no real point

every single va is popping the FUCK OFF by the way. i have to keep reminding myself theyre acting so i dont like. kill myself

val saving hayward was NOT on my bingo card what the fuck

"and before she died... she remembered who she was" OHHHHHHH MYYYYY GODDDDDD

hayward doing his own rites of the cairn maiden for himself :(

no gods coming for hayward but "fuck it. this one's not... for any of you. this ones for me"

WHY IS FAULKNER BACK. NONONO ITS ONLY GONNA BE BAD. PLEASE NO

i never realized the parallel between faulkner's gardener father and his gardener god

carpenter meant so much to him :(

"Sister! I love you! Where are you going? Dont turn your back on me! Dont you dare- Sister! I need you! SISTER! SISTER! MARCO! MARCO!" FAULKNER NO NOT LIKE THIS NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

FUCK YOU JON WARE (<- COMPLIMENT)

THE FAULKNER BODY FAKEOUT. SEE ABOVE POINT

carpenter's scream...... oh god.. oh méabh de brún the woman that you are

"he could be a face from my childhood. or his" charlie.......

HES BEEN BLOND THIS ENTIRE TIME????????????? i should have fucking known

"but no matter how it starts, no matter how it turns out for us, it can end with love, cant it? it can end with love. it can end with kindness." i said oh my god out loud

the delivery of "and then i let him go" why not just drive a railroad spike through my lungs

"the river is vast, and no dam can block every channel, and ours is a world of miracles." i said jesus christ out loud

i wheezed when she just. got back up this old bitch cannot die can she

not nana glass' song............

FUCKING TAINSLEY. CHEKHOVS TAINSLEY.

oh my god. a final heartbreaking credits scene

i had to just sit and lean back for a second. what a fucking ending. what a fucking podcast. this is one of those pieces of media that takes up residence in your brain forever. im never gonna stop thinking about this

[sweetpinkchampagne]

tolerate it

pronouns: female pronouns are used

relationship: fem reader x stephen strange (marrieddd)

warnings: angst to the max, mention of the feeling to need to throw up or want to throw up

note: i titled this reluctantly because "wait by the door like im just a kid, use my best colours for your portait, lay the table with the fancy shit, and watch you tolerate it" reminded me of this, not in the respect that stephen is ignorant, but hes just absent.. (in this) ok i love you, i hope you enjoy. (major swiftie if u cant tell)

“are you kidding me?” your words echoed through the halls of the sanctum, bouncing off the walls and ricocheting back to where you were both standing. you weren’t angry, far from angry - you were downright livid. your cheeks were flushed and your ears were burning, there he stood with his stupid god forsaken ‘i'm sorry’ look plastered on his face. he let you speak, knowing that talking back would just add fuel to the fire. 

“one day stephen. one goddamn day, that’s ALL i asked you for.” your voice broke during the last part of your sentence, tears welling up in your eyes. it sounded selfish to somebody who wasn’t in your position. you knew he needed to protect the world, you knew that when you married him - but things weren’t working well lately. he was home late and gone before you woke up. it was as if you weren’t even in a married. you tried your best to be understanding, he had more important things to attend to - but jesus christ it hurt. it hurt waking up to a cold bed, preparing dinner for yourself, by yourself..

you bit the side of your cheek, furious with yourself that you had hot tears streaming down your cheeks as you sobbed looking at him from across the entrance of the sanctum. your throat burned, bile creeping up, you felt sick, nauseous constantly, and your doctor was never around to help fix it. he had to fix the world instead.

he had promised today was your day, one day away from the chaos of being an avenger and a sorcerer. he was called into work, something ‘non-negotiable’ came up. you had made a reservation at a restaurant you were both going to eat at tonight. deep down, you knew you had to cancel it, honestly there was no saying when he would be home. but you couldn't bring yourself to call the restaurant. again.

“baby…i’m so sorry. i know i haven’t been around lately”. he said softly, he hated seeing you cry. you stood there staring at him. fiddling with your shirt like a kid who just got in trouble.

“please understand my sweet girl..i have to go, it’s not going to be like this for the rest of my career, i promise.” 

he walked over to you, his arms wrapping around you. you wanted to scream, kick and fight. beat your hands against his chest in rejection and walk off. the last thing you wanted right now was an apologetic hug - but you gave in. sobbing in his arms, your head tucked into his chest as he cooed gently and rubbed your back soothingly. 

“i know honey.. i know. god i’m so sorry.” he kissed the top of your forehead, gently breaking away from the embrace. 

the sound of his boots padded outside as he left the sanctum sanctorum. and then he was gone.

[romsabombs]

malevolent 43 was insane so here are my notes. my live reactions while listening. enjoy :)

god i feel so sick already

EW AD☹️

okayyyy voices

is it kayne watching

oh god this again

hes way more dramatic this time i think

ermm??

yuck😨

omg queen!!! indeed queen💅💖

i have no idea whats going on

ohhh dang

IS HE GETTING CHAINED UP

im so nervous and scared and afraid

yorrick lore episode?? :3

ohhh yeahh he was the prince's skull

JOHNNNN🥳🥳🥳

omg yes talk to eachother!!! bond!

HAHA JOHN WHY ARE YOU TELLING HER ALL THIS

yesss KING AND QUEENNN

omg hastur he-who-is-not-to-be-named lord of carcosa thats the thing kayne said

OKAYYYYY 💅💅

WHO😐 HAHAAA💀💀

yesss you tell him girl!! they broke into YOUR house‼️

ohhh erm what😶

"i am the king in yellow" SHE DOESNT CARE JOHN

ermmmmmm erm erm uhh

i have no idea how to describe kingqueen relationship rn

"you are no god i have witnessed" "no. but i am a god" such good lines

she should read oscars note lol

LORE LORE LORE yess tell us about this world queen🎀

"and yet you moan on a table beneath my knife👹" okayyy shes vicious💅

YORRICK SNITCH

"my transition" okay🤨🏳️‍⚧️

yo i have no idea what's going on

she said i know what u are🤨

LILY MENTION LILY MENTION

👹LIES👹 girl we're having a moment

"you gained humanity as a prisoner" okayyy true hmmm..

gosh this is heavy

bestiary mentioned :))

her ass is NOT listening

i have no idea how to picture this scene in my head

ohh she was hurt by humans☹️ because her ass is a witch

two sides of the same coin

YOUR MOTHER? omg a name

arthur is straight up dead and we're doing the traumadumping hour

😀☹️😞 :( :( oh darling

mother darkness is my drag name

okay shes got a point tho🫡

YORRICK DONT HAHA shut up!!

oh!! :3

ermmm third wheeling over here

yorrick finally does something good (shuts the fuck up)

death for the undying⛓️💔

hell brings about the truth in people🔥🔥🔥 these lines go hard

im sure you did😒😒

can you believe this episode is 52 minutes long

imagine arthur laying on the floor family guy pose while all this emotional stuff is happening

BEDROCK RAAHHHH

"our" :3333

even the witch knows hes a child

"silent to all but those who can hear🗣️🗣️🗣️"

"i am not forgotten. not by him" :((

i remember you my king!! 🤓🥰

larson mansion arc throwback

"i saved him" erm you're the reason he went crazy in the first place

FUCK YOU👹 does she even know that word

john finally gets therapy not clickbait

ok shut up john my headphones are dying

ok we're back

"i tried to kill a man who i felt was in my way" 💀💀

HAHA SHES SO MEAN

okay now arthur is the child

dont go to the dark side pookie🙏

bro this shit is none of her business stay out of it

MY LOVE FOR ARTHURRREEE🥳🥳 WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!🔥‼️🗣️

ermm 😶 come on johnn🙏

arthur said i can fix him and then did!!

WOAHAHSHFHCBXNSN WHA😨😨

WOAHHHHH WHATATTTT QUEEN??

HAHAHA WHY DID YOU DO THAT

ERMMMMMMMM HES WHAT

����😀HEAVY BREATHINGGG

OKAYYYYYYY JOHNN🥰🥰

RAHHHH👹👹👹 hes so sigma

yo what the hell is happening

😨😨😨😨HUH

this witch sure loves stabbing arthur

TRUEEE we r in her home!!

his ass is not really gone come on

do true loves kiss or whatever or like shed a tear and it'll land on him and he'll be alive again because magic

"🤢JOHN🤢" okayy rude🙄

mm yeah true why did you leave

😀john stay with us🙏🗣️ pretty pls

i miss arthurs voice its really nice

FRIEND MENTIONED like from s1 :3

HIS ASS ISNT GONE what would the show be without him bruh

jesus christ

NO NONONONOOO NO COME ON

🫣🫣 ermm 😶

man arthurs only purpose is to be a vessel huh :( :(

isn't john like bound to this body

what a mess :/ how will we fix this

girl u barely know him why do u care

"ignorant false morals" 😒girl

i wanna know what she thinks about the trolley problem

maybe don't listen to her she just murdered your boyfriend twice. thrice

GIRL YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HIM

shut up🙄 dont piss me off you killed my boy

ohh arthur i miss him already

erm john!!!! dont say allat😀

GOD DAMN IT we got so far man

hail to the king🗣️🗣️🗣️

NEW BODY??

ok now shes worshipping him😒

:( he says arthurs name so coldly. absolutely no emotion in his voice☹️

DONT TELL HER!!!!

ugh hes back to his kiy voice

im gonna kill myself actually

"think of the object you desire to find" imagine a rosetoy just appears

OH OH OH OH HAHA YEAHH HAHAA

this is awesome actually

faroes song goes hard

ohhh hes back :3

yorrick is so cutiepatootie

oh wait is he okay😨

OH NO

OH :3 HAHA YORRICK💀💀

insane episode

aye we cant save arthur without another deal with the devil i think

where's kayne when you need him

john this speech is embarrassing you're not an alpha wolf

john non binary arc🙏

..meaning??🧐

"i choose you. to be a part of you" ☹️ pokemon reference for a sec

yorrick embodiment of sillyness

yeah doll him up before reviving him

"your love for your friend" yorrick is so third wheeling

oh he feels human :3 i feel so sigma

cant we just let arthur stay dead let bro rest in peace he's been through enough

ARTHUR :33 WOAHHH😨😨

yeah i guess that musta hurt huh

yo is his ass okay😀😀

arthur is in Pain Painnn

ima have dreams about this one

[jakekiszkasbuttsweat]

a/n - Hey guys! This is my first fic so im hoping to get some grace on how awful it probably is. I wanted to put this out for spooky season. This is chapter 1 and I'll put out more if it anyone is interested in that.

Warnings: violence, angst, maybe some slight gore?

Biggest thank you to @takenbythemadness and @writingcold for gently bullying me into putting this out! Love you both so much!

--------------------------------------------

“It’s fine.  Fine.  Everything’s fine.”

I feel sick. I feel weak.  I’m in shock.  Yeah, that’s what it is.  Shock. 

“It was an accident.”  

I continue to repeat this in my head, as if it were a mantra.  I quickly weave through the dark alleys.  I must avoid being seen.  I must steer clear of the main roads.

“He was going to kill her.”

I can’t stop the images of what he was doing to her.  This woman I didn’t know.  This woman I stumbled upon.

“He was going to kill me.” 

Everything was moving too fast and yet, as it replayed in my mind, it seemed so slow.  Could I have stopped?  Did it have to go this far?

“I had no choice.” 

That’s what I must keep telling myself.  I can’t think of anything else.  Self-preservation is key at this point.

“He deserved it.” 

I can feel it soaking through.  They’re starting to cling to me, the evening air turning the blood-soaked clothing cold and sticky against my skin.  I fear I will vomit but I force myself to think of anything else.  I’ve seen enough documentaries to know that if I do, this all will be traced back to me.

All I wanted was to go for a walk to clear my head.  My twin and I had just been in another spat, over God-knows-what.  I can’t even begin to try to remember.  It had been unusually cold this night.  Walking by a block of bars, I heard it.  I heard her.  An ear-piercing scream.  I ran, searching for the voice of a woman who was so clearly in distress.  The voice became clearer as I ran through a small ally between two of the bars.  Behind the buildings was a scene I will never forget.  A dim light from the back door of the bar illuminated a small woman, cowering in a fetal position on the ground next to the dumpsters.  A man, I could only assume was her boyfriend, kicking her repeatedly.  Blow after blow, it seemed he would never stop.

“STOP! FUCKING STOP!”, I shouted at him.  He halted and turned toward me.  Thankfully, the poor woman stood and ran as fast as she could in the other direction.  This man was massive.  The sheer terror that I felt caused a shudder to rip right through me.  The man slowly stalked toward me.  “Who the fuck are you?  One of that whore’s little boyfriends?”  He spat lowly.

What? It’s one of these situations? Jesus Christ.

“No, you fucking dimwit.  I’m just a man who won’t stand by while you bring a woman to near death.” 

I can’t believe these words are coming from my mouth.  I’m fucking terrified.  This guy’s definitely going to kick my ass.

Without a pause, He slammed his fist into my shoulder.  “You don’t want to fuck with me, pretty boy.” He rasped.

I staggered backward, damn near falling on my ass.  Despite this, I managed to straighten my body in an attempt to look intimidating.

I closed my eyes and did my best to swing but the only thing I felt was my knuckles catching nothing as they swished past his nose.

Open your eyes, you fucking idiot!

Before I could open them, he slammed me to the ground.  I groaned gruffly and tried to stand but he had me pinned.  My mouth quickly filled with blood after he began punching me.  I felt the world slipping away as his hands grasped my throat.  All I could focus on was that same dim light that exposed the woman who brought me to this mess but even that began to fade.

You’ve got to make it out of this.  You’ve got to survive.  Come on, man, do something!

Grasping at the ground around me, my right hand connected to something large, and I swung as quickly and as hard as I could.

I heard a soft “Oomph” as his body slumped over me.  The weight of his body felt like it was crushing mine.  I managed to push his limp body off me and began to straddle him across his chest.  Rage flowed through me as I repeatedly slammed the rock down onto his skull.  I felt his blood splash on me and although he had stopped moving long before, I worried that if I stopped, he would come to and finish me.

Exhaustion is the only thing that stopped me.  I was in a daze as I slowly stood up and began to walk away.  I managed to snap out of it halfway down the block when I started maneuvering through the alleyways.

I wince walking up the stairs to my porch from the bruises I can feel forming on my ribs.  I’m disoriented.  I double over, hardly able to catch my breath.  I’m so tired but this isn’t over.  I must keep moving.  I can’t be stupid about this.

Making myself consciously aware of every move I make, I stop just outside my front door and carefully remove my shoes.

I try not to touch anything as I make my way through the house.  I need to try to avoid leaving streaks of his blood in a path along the way.

For a split second I think about putting my clothes in the washer, but I remember this could leave too much evidence.  I decide to gently place them in a trash bag until the morning when I can think of a better plan.

I walk to my bathroom to wash the blood off my body but catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  I feel a strange sensation in the pit of my stomach, and I can’t quite place the emotion that I’m feeling.

Cocking my head to the side, I notice a bright red bead rolling down my abdomen.  I run my finger across it, bringing it up to get a closer look.  How curious this feeling is.  Is it apathy?

I turn on the shower to as hot as I can stand it.  I must admit, I’ve always enjoyed the pain of a scalding shower.  I stand there, attempting to place this odd sensation.  It surely isn’t remorse.

I can hear the faint hum of my phone in another room.  I know who the cause of it is, but I can’t bring myself to care at this moment.  I can’t keep my mind from wandering back to what had just transpired.

Who could blame me for what he had done to her?  He deserved to die.  He deserved to feel suffering at the hand of another.  Just as he had done to the one he should have loved.

I should want to forget this happened, right?  I should be panicking, right?  Why do I feel good about what I’ve done?

Watching the red water circle the drain, it finally clicks. 

I feel exhilarated.

The water begins to run cold, forcing me out.  I dry and dress myself, glancing around to confirm I have left no trace of him behind before leaving the room.

Returning to the living room, I make a bee line for the bar cart.  I grab a whiskey glass and fill it almost entirely to the brim.

Hearing my phone buzzing once more, I decide to answer.

“Dude, you disappeared like two hours ago. I’ve called you 5 times.  What the hell have you been doing?”

“Sorry…I just went on a walk to clear my head.”

It’s not a lie, really.  I’ll just spare him the rest…

“Listen, we really need to talk this out.  You’re my brother.  My twin.  I hate fighting over stupid shit.  Can I come over?”

Fuck.

“Uh, not right now.  I really just need to go to sleep.  Can we do this in the morning?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.  Hey, man…Are you feeling alright?  You sound really out of it.”

“Jesus, YES!”  I snapped, instantly feeling regret. “I’m sorry.  I just really need to get some sleep.  I’ll just see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah, get some sleep.  I’ll see you tomorrow, Josh”.

[yourchemicallyimbalancedromance]

The Time Will Come

Prompt: 17. “You’re shaking like a leaf, are you okay?” (Credit to @/dumplingsjinson for this idea that I found from their hurt/comfort prompt list which you can find here<3)

Summary: post WTIT, Logan goes to an unsuspected side to garner their help.

Ship: platonic analogical

CW/TW: anxiety

———————————————————————

Logan rose up in the anxious sides room, pad of paper still in hand, exhausted and aggravated.

Virgil hadn’t heard him come in, the music from his headphones preventing him from being able to hear much of anything. He was sketching on his bed and mumbling the words to the song he was listening to to himself. This was his way of coping through the unease that rippled its way through Thomas because of Remus’ actions.

Logan stood there, waiting for Virgil to notice him. He didn’t want to bother him but he didn’t really feel as if he had anyone else to go to. Roman was busy rehearsing lines for a play, Patton was free but he was just…too sentimental, and Remus and Janus? No. Absolutely not.

Virgil could feel someone looking at him and looked up, quickly jumping back. “GAH!” he removed his headphones and took a second to catch his breath. “Jesus fucking Christ, Logan, you could’ve said something.”

“Apologies. I was wondering if we could converse about something important” he said, setting his pad of paper on Virgil’s desk. His hands were shaking.

Virgil recognized this subtle action as something Logan only did when he was overwhelmed with emotion. It’s funny, In a sick way. Logan was the one who taught him and the rest of the sides that suppression wasn’t helpful, yet he continued to put on this emotionless persona daily.

“God, you’re shaking like a leaf, are…you okay?” He asked, concerned.

Logan shook his head, suddenly all of the thoughts in his head were jumbled, he couldn’t speak. “I— Thomas keeps— Remus—“ he tried on multiple different ways of starting his sentence before he couldn’t stand upright, the shaking getting worse, tears in his eyes. He felt embarrassed, this wasn’t how he wanted this to go.

Virgil rushed to his side and held him as he collapsed into his arms. “It’s okay, you’re okay, breathe.” He says warmly.

“he won’t listen to me.” He said, taking deep breaths and composing himself. He stopped shaking and sat on the edge of Virgil’s bed.

“Logan, you need to talk to him. Not only is this effecting you, but all of us. Pushing down how you feel does nothing but make it worse.” Virgil says. He didn’t want to be so brutally honest with him, but he had no choice, enough was enough.

“I am the Logical side, Virgil, not the anxious side. I’m fine. I’m more concerned with Thomas’ procrastination issue.” Logan responds

“Really? Because the borderline breakdown you just had speaks otherwise.” He retorts. He winced a little at how cutting his voice sounded.

“The house is a mess I just need him to—“

“The house is a mess because Thomas is, same thing for you. You have emotions, Logan. I’m sorry but you have to face it just like the rest of us. The house is one of the lowest things on my list of priorities right now. You need to talk to him.”

“Fine.” Logan replied half-heartedly.

———————————————————————

After his initial conversation with Virgil, Logan found Thomas sitting in the living room re-watching Parks and Recreation with Nico. It was his 17th time rewatching it and he kept pointing out his favorite parts while Nico laughed.

It had been a few hours since their venture downtown and Logan didn’t want to intrude on their date. Or more-so, he was afraid to.

Eventually Thomas walked into the kitchen where Logan was standing, sipping his coffee, going over the script in his head. He was at the part where he was explaining the issue to Thomas when present Thomas interrupted him.

“Hey, Logan im sorry about earlier, I promise I’ll get back on schedule soon.” He says

Logan gave him a stoic look. “Thomas, we need to talk about this. I think your procrastination levels are just growing increasingly more high by the day. Why is that?”

“I really don’t want to talk about this right now, I just wanted to let you know that I would, eventually, be getting back on—“

“Thomas, this is extremely important. I’m tired of you pushing me off to the side.” Logan interrupted him, flustered.

Thomas stared at him, shocked, a hurt look on his face. “I wasn’t trying to do that I just don’t want to—“

“Forget about it.” Logan says, cutting him off, watching Thomas’ face go from hurt to heartbroken. He couldn’t find it within himself to care, he was too tired, too maddened with Thomas’ apparent need to not listen to him.

He sinks back down into Virgil’s room, sitting on his bed, just as he was earlier.

Virgil looks up, and Logan doesn’t even have to say anything before Virgil just wraps his arms around him and holds him close. “He’ll listen soon. I promise. I know what it’s like to not feel heard.”

Logan nods and lets himself be held. Usually he’s not one for psychical touch, or any kind of show of affection for that matter, but he needed this. He really needed this.

“Thank you, Virgil.”

[chipthekeeper]

Hey. Hi. Because I’m very normal and not sick in the head, here are all the thoughts I had while watching the bonus featurette about the Aldhani arc (I know some of you are patiently waiting to see for yourselves so it’s under the cut)

- ugh Scotland you are sooooo……

- OH MY GOD WEVE GOT CLOSEUP SHOTS OF THINGS AROUNS THE CAMP IM GONNA BE TAKING ENDLESS NOTES

- Going to need so many gifs of my babies. So so so many gifs. I will pay

- Did not expect Susanna white to have that accent for some reason but I’m very into it

- Already lost my mind about this bit we got a clip of so many times but I will continue to do so

- “You have Vel who’s an incredibly rich young woman who’s grown a conscience” FASCINATING TONY TELL ME MORE

- “Skeen who’s a revolutionary by opportunity” some might say a mercurial man but yeah

- Oh a shot of Gorn but he doesn’t get a description, fine

- Oh i just made SUCH an embarrassing noise because VARADA IS TALKING SHES ON MY SCREEN SAYING WORDS AS HERSELF M

- oh. Oh sweet. Baby. Jesus. Oh. Oh my

- I can’t even describe what just happened above; you will have to see it

- Okay now I’m for real sobbing

- 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭

- They

- I keep making such loud and embarrassing sounds AND THE WINDOW IS OPEN

- Okay now to take a breath and actually tell you what that was all about. You didn’t really think I wouldn’t say it?

- Varada AND Faye talking about rehearsing their jump from the dam!!!!!

- And some footage of that where they’re just. Chilling and smiling and yeah I need oxygen

- Varada saying she’s “sufficiently terrified” to do the jump but has to do it with a straight face because cinta can’t look scared and holy shit this is truly everything to me

- There’s an AMAZING shot of them in costume on like a green screen stage and they like hug and then dance very ridiculously I’m definitely not crying no you’re crying

- ugh Jesus I just. That was a lot and I’m. Fine.

- Okay moving on

- Oooh Spotify artist of the year nick britell on my screen talking about sounds of the eye

- I SWEAR TO FUCK LUCASFILM IF YOU DONT GIVE ME THIS ART BOOK OR AT LEAST DOWNLOADABLE HI RES IMAGES

- Why the fuck are we suddenly talking about saw gerrera (not that I don’t love him but ?????? This is not the time)

- *strangled whining sounds about scenery shots with Skeen’s chopping line over top*

- Omg wife hi

- “We ended up being as close as these characters are by the end, you know, because they depend on each other and they have to believe in what each other can do” IM FINE 😭

- Jesus Christ I need ten more hours of that at MINIMUM

- In summary, I need this injected into my veins and nothing short of that will be enough