#GERMANY DOESNT KNOW WHAT TO DO

[jonny-b-meowborn]

My mom needs to stop accusing my kitten of peeing on the floor every time she sees any spilled liquid. It's true that the baby had a bunch of accidents but she's doing better!! She's using her litterbox most of the time but my mom sees any water on the floor and is like. Your cat peed again 🙄 always sounding as if it's my fault. And on a few different occasions she got angry at Salem for doing a mess even though it was clearly water on the ground, not piss. Leave my baby alone

[effervescentdragon]

.

[nameissmile]

(I think I don't like being cold. I always have you know? I liked it because that was all I knew, it let me do whatever I want whenever I want. Maybe it was easy to love because it seemed into my bones in a way that felt permanent and solid, much more than any flimsy warmth could. The cold was easy to love because it bent to my whim, and made me feel normal. The funny thing is though, I've been getting non-stop heat advisory's, and yet Germany always felt warmer. I thought I hated warmth because it made me sweat, want to run away and cool down again, it seemed into my bones as well and made me relax in a way that was unheard of within the boundaries of the cold. The cold stiffened me to my core, made me breath out puffs of smoke, preserved me so that I would crystalline and perfect for anyone who came along. The heat relaxed me, laid me down in a pile of downy feather and forced me to rot, to change, to die, and from that death grow new plants from seeds.sown long ago. Germany was always warmer because of the people who were there knew that even If I could survive the cold, I could never thrive within it. And I don't think I ever would have noticed.)

[aristotels]

look imma say this and then im gonna go do something productive bc this is taking up way too much of time.

do i think usamericans are inherently stupid or evil? no, i dont. i dont believe you are any less capable or dumber than the other people in the world. i do, however, think you have more responsibilities.

does it matter if a brazilian doesnt know where croatia is? not really. brazil doesnt have monopoly on world production or currency. brazil didnt instigate the fall of yugoslavia. brazil cant veto an un resolution. does it matter if a dalmatian grandma raising donkeys in vrlika doesnt know where laos is? not particularly; she doesnt vote for a president who has power to influence the global politics. croatian president cant stage a coup in venezuela. balkan countries dont dominate social or political discourse, they dont dictate economy, trends, or inflation. they dont dominate media, films, music, culture, language.

usa however does. the president of the usa has very real power to fund a genocide and single-handedly keep an apartheid existing. people from usa should know the effects their choices have.

imperialism isnt only visible in politics either. cultural hegemony is a huge part of it. oscars, online algorithms, social media, language - these all have influence on the rest of the world. the ways other countries are viewed in the usa is important. its REALLY not about "haha stupid usamericans", its about responsibility you have as a part of imperial core.

and before anyone goes like "wHy ArE yOu NoT cALLiNg OuT wEsTeRn EuRoPe" its not what this particular discourse is about. ive talked about it before. ill talk about it again because germany has more effect on my life than the usa. pls stop deflecting responsibility this way

edit: no this does not mean "please vote for genocide joe" it means the opposite holy shit this is the core reason for this entire fucking globegate or whatever. if youre voting for dems bc theyre "lesser evil" pls learn where palestine is and that to them there is NO lesser evil jesus christ biden is literally bypassing congress and vetoing un resolutions and sending billions of dollars and weapons and missiles to kill children on the other side of the planet. youre all insane if "vote blue" was your takeaway from this post

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Propaganda why Tony Stark is insufferable:

>Makes weapons

>Billionaire

>Made multiple AI Surveillance Robots

>Gaslight a child into fighting a super soldier in a foreign country for him

>His fans are annoying

Portrayed as a hero because? He chose to no longer mass produce war weapons and bombs after suffering the consequences. Huge hypocrite. Doesn't care about anyone but himself. Will backstab people if they believe in human rights when it's inconvenient to him. Seen as a hero while he's the personification of privileged people saying they're not privileged

There’s the usual “he’s a war criminal who only felt bad about it when he realized his weapons were killing white Americans as well as Arab people” reason, and also he’s just super annoying. You had to be there for the original Avengers shitty dialogue a la “we have a Hulk” that had Tumblr in a vicious chokehold. Also he was supposed to FINALLY go away after destroying all his suits in Iron Man 3 but he just… didn’t! Which is bullshit.

Tony is so annoying. When they first meet he straight up bullies Peter into fighting for his personal bullshit, insults and objectifies Aunt May in front of him, spits into his trashcan and is in general being pushy af. He blackmails Peter when he doesn’t wanna come to Germany with him AND HE DOESNT EVEN EXPLAIN WHY HE WANTS HIM TO COME. Uncomfortable vibes lol.

Tony being the one to tell peter “if Captain America wanted to hurt you he would’ve” when Peter was trying to state his case, yet HE’S also the one who put Peter in harms way when he didn’t even want to go with him???

Telling Peter that he should stick to being a “friendly neighborhood Spider-Man” (stealing his thing once again) when that’s what Peter _was_ doing before Tony took him out of his zone and filled his head with grander things to be apart of….bitch? Die. Ohh waaaait (jkjk) but yeah

Super long, sorry lol

Thinking about how in Homecoming when Peter accidentally caused that boat to get split in half because the Vulture’s gun exploded and Tony was acting like as if Peter was completely in the wrong for going there just because he did it without his permission. He was acting like as if Peter was out of line and “disobeyed him”, trying to act like his father. And then I remember how in CACW he’s the one who scouted Peter in the first place just because he saw he might be useful against a personal squabble between him and Captain America despite knowing that he was a kid and he’s just now acknowledging how dangerous it is because Peter “acted on his own”

Completely hijacking Peter’s superhero story and trying to control his every move (Training wheels protocol and baby monitor thing he put in the suit), acting like Peter should’ve known that Tony would send someone in despite the fact that he’d been ignoring him for 2 months since Civil War and not keeping him updated on anything!!

How the hell is peter supposed to know Tony is going to listen to him when he treats him like a kid instead of a superhero when it’s convenient for him? And when Tony loses his temper after Peter says he’s 15 not 14 like “the adult is talking” bitch he could literally flatten you without your suit!!!

I guess in a way he is acting like a father but like the absentee kind. He’s more like a sperm donor father trying to act like he has any rights over Peter’s life smh.

It’s not that reprimanding Peter for the situation is bad, but the way he makes it seem as if Peter is irredeemable as if Tony wasn't a literal weapons dealer lmfao. He could’ve said what was the truth about it without completely invalidating him saying shit like “no thanks to you” after Peter asked if everyone is okay when it’s literally thanks to Peter finding a lead on those guys in the first place that they were even noticed and it’s not like the FBI being there could’ve in no way caused a similar situation.

And then near the end of the movie when he’s getting crushed by the building rubble screaming and crying for someone to help him where the fuck is Tony?? That scene just proved that he never needed Tony’s suit in the first place to be Spider-Man since he had to use 100% his own strength to lift it off of him. I know he would’ve found the motivation even if Tony hadn’t been involved in the first place to give him the suit, take it away from him and have the words “if you’re nothing without the suit you shouldn’t have it“ echo in his head. Why did Tony even take the suit away? Like as if he expects Peter to stop being spoderman without it??? Holy fuck. This is why you don’t make it out of endgame /j /srs.

When Tony took this suit away from Peter he was like “God I sound like my dad“ shouldn’t that be a red flag to him? Wasn’t he literally just saying that he wished his dad was better than he was?? Lmfao

Propaganda why Victor Frankenstein is insufferable:

Victor Frankenstein is so pathetic not even tumblr could love him. The best parts of Frankenstein are the ones where your blessedly saved from being in his whiny, self deprecating, self centered pov. He’s so conceited that when his creation tells him directly “In revenge for killing the wife you were making for me I’m going to kill YOUR wife to see how YOU like it!”, Victor Frankenstein thinks that the creation is going to kill him and *only* him. (A decision And on top of it, he’s a shitty dad. Truly the worst.

this fucker has zero self awareness, which could maybe be fun to read about! except that 3/4 of the book consists of him constantly woe-is-me-ing about his own mistakes and how he shouldn't be responsible for any of his own actions.

He's not irredeemable, but his refusal to take accountability til it's too late is irritating

[wszczebrzyszynie]

i’ve been reading through the space miner au posts and the rancher essay just sent me over the moon (haha). i MUST know more about imp and skizz when you have the time thank you <3

Unseparable since childhood, they know each other better than anyone. Both went into space mining (which is how they met Tango) very early in their life, probably as teenagers, which would make them basically veterans now, and therefore very experienced in all things mining related. After their last mine and base collapsed, leaving Impulse without an arm, they both left and settled for something different; not entirely sure what they do now, other than harboring a wanted terrorist every now and then, but its something radio and communication related. Quite a jump from their last job, but after the collapse space mining left them with less than positive feelings

(More more or less related things to explain some things below, so that it wont be a giant wall of text on the dash. Fixed because tumblr ruined formatting)

i feel like this is a good moment to mention a bit more about what space mining even is, other than being just... mining in space. there are a few different layers to space mining as a profession, depending on the ore and place (its stability, temperature and everything else needed to be taken into account with human workers); it doesnt really target asteroids (which is why i dont call it asteroid mining), only planets and moons. Despite being assumed to be a more presigious job, it really isnt, at least most of the time; Jimmys experience, for example, is very much comparable to mining on earth, and payed as such. Impulse and Skizz, on the other hand, got to do the cool sci fi idea of space mining, much more dangerous (in places that arent in any way friendly to humans that the miners cant really leave easily before the end of their work season, i guess. not sure how to call it), but also more fun, as it includes the use of mobile suits. This is how sculk is mined, as it tends to exist in places humans shouldve never been in.

(Jimmy also has a mobile suit license, as it just... comes with doing that job, but never had to use one on any of the mining sites. When i talk mobile suits think less Eva and more... chunky and grey. something like the demi series from gwitch. I wanted to include mechs because i like mechs 👍 and i think using giant robots for mining is really cool)

the idea itself is not based on any real-ish possibilities or whatever of asteroid mining; i would much rather it be read in a way youd read a space sci fi from the space race era. specifically from the side of the eastern bloc... its where the retro part of retrofuturistic comes in this au. If i had to introduce the world more, id say that space colonisation started more than century and a half ago (for the time of the au, that is) and durning space race itself. Even though the cold war has been over way before all characters were even born, there still is a clear space divide influenced by it; not all places are avilable for everyone with a spaceship, but it slowly starts opening up and mixing with itself. It very much goes into alternative history but its not the focus of the au so ill just leave it at that. Bit of a worldbuilding thing. I say all that because i find the idea of what esentially is space juma (travelling to germany from poland specifically to steal and traffic small high value items and also cars durning the 80s and 90s and still today sometimes) and all things similar stupidly fun. Thats why Tango has to hotwire his spaceship. Theres a chance im the only person who likes this kind of story atmosphere and its ok its my au. Sorry for going off topic from the ask it just kind of happened. Bless

[egeos]

egeos' hulknussen fic recommendations

so, you've heard of haasbands somewhere on tumblr, or maybe instagram, twitter; and want to know what it's all about. here's a list of fics I'd recommend!

I will be referencing the "eras" I divided their meta & fandom history into in my post "a brief look at the history of hulknussen on ao3". you can disregard the eras headlines if you don't care about when the fics are from, but if you have a preference towards one or more of the eras you can use the headlines to navigate.

if you don't feel like scrolling on tumblr, I have organized my bookmarks on ao3 to reflect this post (with some non hulknussen fics rec'd that you can filter out). the bookmarker's tags will include what era a fic falls into so you can filter according to that, as well. fics with a * to them are favourites of favourites. if you could only read a few, these are the ones I would absolutely tell you to read.

disclaimer: I tried my best to only link to fics of authors that were fine with having them referenced elsewhere. if the A/N of a work stated that they did not want the fic to be shared outside of ao3 I did not include it here. if I could find the author's tumblr I took that as a general "fine to link to". if your fic is on this list and I did not link to your tumblr it's because I couldn't find it at first glance; lmk and I'll happily add it! if your fic is on this list and you want it removed you can also let me know anytime, anywhere (even ao3 comments of an unrelated fic) and I'll remove it no questions asked.

hulknussen era: 2014-2017

SERIES: Effortless by F1_Rabbit / @f1rabbit rated g, nawa, total wc of 3.6k nico and kevin comforting each other and getting together —Sleepless, Powerless, Restless

—Up close and personal* by zeraparker / @zeraparker rated m, nawa, oneshot, 1.5k words nico and kevin celebrate nico's le mans win together

"suck my balls" era: 2017-2022

—suck my balls, honey by Pericardiaca / @iishmael rated e, nawa, oneshot, 2.7k words make up sex after hungary

—Relax into my touch, honey by wafflesandpancakes rated e, ccntw, oneshot, 2.5k words nico has a bad race in in germany and kevin comforts him (smut included)

—Not only my language is bi by wafflesandpancakes rated e, ccntw, oneshot, 2.1k words character study ish, mild angst with semi graphic smut. nico has just lost out on the renault and the haas seat (2019) and doesnt know what the future holds for him.

—suck my balls, honey by lewisshamilton / @lewisshamilton rated e, ccntw, 3/3, 11.1k words part of a youtuber au series, but you do not need to read it to get this. the summary calls it "[...] three times Hulk swore himself to not sleep with Kevin again and three times he failed miserably" which pretty much sums it up.

—Polonium* by Anonymous rated t, nawa, oneshot, 1.4k words nico losing his seat leads to kevin and nico's break up. kevin spends the winter break grieving the relationship. angst galore (very good)

—det vil ikke blive nemt men det vil blive det hele værd by wafflesandpancakes rated e, ccntw, oneshot, 3.3k words au; nico is at a business party in denmark, kevin celebrating his graduation. they get to know each other ft smut at the end

—we drift and we call it dreaming* by bottasvaltteri / @bottasvaltteri rated t, nawa, oneshot, 3.3k words kevin runs a tattoo shop with nico as his employee and boyfriend. everything is great, except there is a fantasy world in his head where he drives fast cars and pretends to dislike nico. magical realism and memory loss

—I'm Gonna Turn This Car Around by FunkyinFishnet / @dinomighty rated t, nawa, oneshot, 3.6k words nico somehow ends up giving out relationship advice to the younger guys on the grid, except they always ask for advice when him and kevin are busy. funny and light hearted with background maxiel

enemies-to-lovers era: 2022-2023

—i wanna feel your sugar in my veins by dilftoevsky rated e, ccntw, oneshot, 2.6k words written in '22 but set in '23, au where they didn't make up but still fuck (pwp)

—Sidelined* by degenercurve130R / @silverslipstream rated t, ccntw, oneshot, 3.4k words character study ish, written in '23 but takes place in '21 & '17. both kevin and nico are out of a seat and meet up to drown their feelings about it in beer.

—Full Disclosure, Don't Get Closer* by Anonymous rated m, nawa, oneshot, 1.1k words they're friends/teammates with benefits and kevin feels some things about it

haasbands era: 2024-onwards

—The First Of The Season* by Anonymous rated e, nawa, 1/2, 4.8k words first time/hooking up, lots of chemistry between them, smut later in the first chapter. ongoing, so can't speak on ch2, but would 100% still rec this if it was left unfinished forever or got uploaded as a oneshot

—i love winning, baby, i want it all by flowersarepoisonous / @flowersarepoisonous rated t, nawa, oneshot, 1.2k words written in '24, set in '26. they're both with audi and nico wins his first race. celebrations follow

—baby, why don't you come over? (red wine supernova) by flowersarepoisonous / @flowersarepoisonous rated m, nawa, 1/4, 4k words ongoing, so I can't sum it completely. tags are "fuckbuddies to lovers" and "getting together" which should give you a good feel. spans multiple seasons

—bleuler by cfd rated m, ccntw, oneshot, 3.5k words different scenes of pillow talk centering mental health issues nico has (in this fic not irl) and how they impact the relationship between kevin and nico. warning for implied psychosis, angst

—kevin magnussen? more like kevin wagnussen by flowersarepoisonous / @flowersarepoisonous rated g, nawa, oneshot, 2.5k words kevin gets a race ban for baku and shows up as nico's wag. social media au/outsider pov, fluff, humour

[crplpunkklavier]

was thinking the other day about how people's reasons for saying that klavier is only fake german seem to be that he only went to germany to get his badge, his german speaking is clearly only a gimmick, and that in the japanese original, he is more explicitly a japanese guy who went to america once and made it his whole personality. which i understand! however, what makes me laugh about this is that everyone seems to have accepted that manfred von karma is totally german.

so, if i may.....

manfred von karma does not speak german in canon ever.

his name sounds fake. like sorry. but it does. "manfred" doesnt sound fake, no, but "von karma"??? NOBODY here is called von karma. ive met one extremely unfortunate person in my life who actually still had a "von" name, but that was when i went to a terrible private school in paris. and his name sure as shit wasnt von karma. "von karma" as a name sounds JUST as fake as "klavier"

sure, franziska was "born and raised" in germany, so she's likely to be a german citizen, but that doesn't mean that manfred was born or raised there. manfred was in the states at least long enough to build up a reputation there and to battle it out with greg edgeworth (gredgeworth)

and, most importantly: in the japanese original, the von karmas do not have english/american names. they have japanese names. sure, "karuma" COULD have been an adaptation of a western name after moving to japan, but that's not made explicit anywhere, plus the whole sword thing in dgs (u know the one) heavily implies that theyre a japanese family

what i am saying is.

what if...... what if manfred von karma is faking being german...... what if manfred von karma is the one who took on a fake german name because he thought a scary sounding nobility title would make him look cool in court. what if we have been focusing on the wrong gimmick german this whole time

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

a big german newspaper (die zeit) recently published a more critical article on the so called „verrichtungsboxen“ (literally: boxes of execution; boxes on the street where prostituted women and sex buyers can go to consummate the sexual acts; anyone who knows german will know this is a gross terminology, fitting for a gross concept).

while the fact these boxes exist is in itself a tragedy, the letters to the editor are giving me hope that there are sane people left in this country - even though from their names and writing style i would guess they are of the older generation, pension age.

heinz wohner: „if you dont get a visceral reaction of disgust and shame looking at these obfuscating boxes called ‚eco toilets‘ and the image of what is going on in them, you have to be extremely cold. calling what is being done to these women for little money ‚work like any other‘ is sugarcoating the issue.“

wolfgang wendling: „maybe there are women who voluntarily prostitute themselves, but the majority is doing it out of necessity and under pressure. calling the oldest trade in history a profession like any other is pure mockery. its not an honor to call our country europe‘s biggest brothel. but it‘s true. we should be ashamed that women are being exploited, humiliated and abused before our eyes. the more severe the poverty is in the country of origin, the cheaper you can have them. we should finally stop this, which is the only appropriate action for a civilised country.“

brigitte kosfeld: „the photo of these boxes alone speaks volumes on the inhumane practices hidden behind the liberalisation of prostitution. when the law was introduced, there were convinced social democratic women who were holding speeches on ‚prostitution as a profession‘. the intentions behind the law might have been honorable, but the reality has always been deeply anti-woman.“

professor claudia reuter, phd: „the liberalisation of prostitution in germany has failed in all regards. according to a french study, the average life expectancy of a prostitute is 33 years. babbling about self-determination in this case is inhumane. the state is not supporting prostitutes’ workers rights and their health, but their economic and sexual exploitation. its about time for the swedish model: protection for women and consistent punishment for sex buyers and pimps.“

joachim kasten: „social democrat august bebel already wrote in 1879 (…) that ‚honorable family men‘ were contributing to uphold the system prostitution with their money. according to him, they were generously let off their responsibility to disappear in anonymity. apparently today we are still where we were at the end of the 19th century.“

sabine moehler: „the description [in the article] of typical injuries prostitutes have reminded me very much of those women in physically abusive relationships show as well. a man who abuses, humiliates and demeans a prostitute in any way will do the same to his partner, wife or lover as soon as he doesnt like her behavior. (…) even reading about this is upsetting me a lot.“

and of course the one sex buyer who just had to write to the editors, peter müller: „its one sided to use the misery in berlin street prostitution with sex on public toilets as a reason to debate the liberalisation of prostitution. there are many brothels were the ladies are treated with respect. of course working as a prostitute harbors certain risks - but there are women who freely choose this job, and in my experience, some of them are doing it with passion and love. the regular prices are not the dumping prices you mentioned (5-10 euros) [note: which is indeed normal in street prostitution] but actually 80-100 euros for half an hour - not to mention those dont include extras and humiliating sex practices. i met women who earn better in prostitution than some employees in germany.“

loose translation and highlights by me.

[cowboy-robooty]

Regarding like Itager like in your mind what kind of dates do they go on

Like are they the kind of couple to go on like extravegant ass dates to like fancy restraunts and stuff or do they just like sit around in their house and like watch random movies

BOTH! I think because of germanys inexperience in his brain a date is only a date if its like "Take to dinner. Watch Movie. Wear something nice. Escort Home and if youre a slut get a kiss on the cheek." yknow the textbook definition, and because of that maybe once a month or something he will plan a date like that and be like Italy. Lets Go..... on a Date. and ofc italy is like hell yes bro me when i dont have to plan and hell pay for my meal n ticket 😍😍 I think even sometimes he borrows Japans shoujo manga (since he canonically in draws in a manga-like artstyle.. thats crazy) and studies it with sticky notes and shit to get ideas for new dates. so i think if you asked them theyd say thats what their dates are, but really theyre having casual dates like every fuckin day. Because theyre also best bros and Italy will shoot himself in the head if germany cant attend daily movie night with him (never forget when germany hung out with greece for four hours and italy went *cries* YOUVE BEEN SPENDING ALL YOUR TIME WITH GREECE LATELY....) They go on adventures together all the time like Harold and Kumars quest for white castle and i think something like that can be considered a date, since a date is just doing shit together yes? If anything I think they get equally romantic together on a fancy date and daily best bro adventures, bc on a fancy date its not like germany suddenly gets all gay, hes still normal its more like theyre just hanging out doing fancier things because germany doesnt really know how act romantic (besides being classic germany flustered... actually i think the only difference in their pda together is that as bros germany is like whatever. ill hug you its a bro thing. but when hes on a date hes like PDA IS COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE. PLEASE WAIT UNTIL WE ARE IN A PRIVATE AREA. >///< and italy goes PLEASEE PLEASEEE GERMANY KISS KISS KISS IT ISNT A DATE WITHOUT A KISS PLEASEEEE and germany goes eugh.... fine. *blushes* and does it because germany will do anything for italy if he asks twice) and italy doesnt really change his behavior either cuz if anything he already constantly acts like a clingy affectionate amoeba so its actually all the same...? The only difference i suppose is that ironically at the end of the date they usually part ways because in germanys head thats what a gentleman doss after escorting someone home and italy is like whatever lol bc either way that night he breaks into germanys house, crawls into his bed naked + uninvited, and well.... *looks around* did anybody else see that? And when theyre at home chilling the only difference is that Italy already has step one done (infiltrating germanys home) so... it always ends the same practically everyday! What a wonderful date!

*NOTE: i do think that Italy has learned that he can only try macking out on Germany inbetween episodes/movies because bro locks in hard and will go BITCH GET OFF ME IM INVESTED RN if he tried mid show. And even when germany says fine ok after Italy asks twice hell be distracted bc he was so locked in so Italy has learned its better to just wait until his brain is released from the screen. In general thats how Germany is if hes doing a task so thats why one time they got hospitalized for 2 weeks because Italy tried to give road head while also being the driver! A man has to do what a man has to do

[da-gamingojichan]

also the world should know that germany sucks at sex. like hes bad hes not made for that shit at all hes inflexible so he sucks at bottoming he has a straight rod penis so he sucks at subtopping he gives genuinely the worst head known to mankind (in fact ill write a seperate post detailing that) he is physically incapable of relaxing. he only knows how to do closed mouth kisses. he keeps his eyes open when he kisses. he also does not remember ever to breathe through his damn nose. hes premature ejaculation king. hes done for the night after one round. 80% of the time he passes the fuck out after round 1 so shop really is closed. he goes "what? 😨" in response to dirty talk. his moans are ugly. he is ugly. his penis is ultra sensitive so unless youre italy with fingers like an angel then hell go OW OW OW GENTLE GENTLE OWW!!! (itager supremacy). he has a weird ballsack. before sex he cleans italy himself and its 100% nonsexual and italy cannot make it sexual even though he has tried. he doesnt like being naked. he asks to do missionary Every. Single. Time. hes scared shitless the entire time. he still wakes up at 5 am afterwards. he doesnt feel anything about nipple shit hes like "erm. okay". he folds the clothes as italy strips them. he needs to schedule everytime they have sex or else he gets really stressed out. bro is Just BAD okay.

[ganondoodle]

I just wanna say firstly that i adore your artwork and takes6on Zelda in general! Secondly, much as I wish you never had to deal with the frustrations of creating (especially when you tack on the stress of being on any kind of social platform), I'm glad you talk about your struggle. I've heard people talk about art block every day since I learned what Art was, but nobody ever mentioned "painting oneself into a corner". It's such an apt description that is so infuriatingly relatable that I had to stop eating to thank you for putting it into words. I really appreciate that you're willing to talk about your setbacks in a place like Tumblr, and still share your arts and thoughts. All the best from US of hellscape A, i hope you're doing well.

Thank you!

i used to call it artblock as well, its the most normalized term i guess; i randomly started calling it painting myself into a corner when i got stuck or frustrated on a painting bc welll, it sure feels like it, you painted the walls all around you and dont know how to get out now

it usually happens when i stop having fun and just draw what i want and instead keep subconsciously forcing myself into arbitrary rules; in my case its usually trying to be too perfect, i try to adhere to the sketch, i try to make every block of color have a perfectly clean edge, separate the drawing into way too many layers and am afraid to delete or erase anything, i tense up my whole body as frustration builds bc of impatience as this method of painting does not work for me at all and in the end lose motivation on it all and my nerves are stretched thin (i work best when i think as little as possible, just kinda loosely letting my hand do what it wants on few layers and no specific plan, after losing that its hard to get it back)

having those low moments with your art is normal as your skill grows, but even knowing so, and having gone through it countless times, it never stops making you feel like shit, and its especially frustrating when it happens when you just got enough time to work on stuff or have alot of ideas but you cant get it to work

(and funnily enough it also tends to happen after another work of mine got more attention than i thought .. even worse when it was just a sketch bc now i got the pressure on me to actually finish it and the fear of it doing worse once done looms over the whole thing- which doesnt mean i dont want people to interact with my wips, bc that also has an extremely demotivating factor to it bc it makes me think no one cares or it sucks and doesnt deserve the time i would need to spend on finishing it; also .. alot of my wips stay wips forever, which is fine, but like .. you cant always expect a finished tm version to happen)

i do find it a little funny you praise me for talking openly about it bc i am notoriously unable to shut up ever and only recently got better at NOT talking as much about it when i feel as shitty as this bc it doesnt really help anyone and gets annoying really fast xD (im also notoriously unable to not post absolutely everything bc i got no one to show it to and otherwise it will just collect dust on my harddrive so i might as well throw it out there no matter how much i might hate it, someone else might still enjoy it anyway)

and greetings back from the -not really much less of a hellscape- that is germany o/

[jarritos-hetalia]

Part two of Hetalia as things I've heard! (Extended edition)

These are from years ago, like a while ago. So there are references to Pokemon scarlet and violet, and maybe other things.

~~~

Italy: That kid just twerked on baby Jesus!

~~~

Hungary: So a woman's period is kinda like-

Prussia: *Starts Crying*

~~~

Germany: Hey Japan-

Japan: *Hugs him*

Germany: *Confused Screaming*

~~~

Romano: Do you know who that is? *Points to a random person*

Spain: No?

Romano: That's because you are ugly.

Spain: *Sad*

~~~

America: Hey Old man, have you heard of the star wars character Bofa?

Canada: Don’t

England: What?

America: Bofa deez nuts in your mouth!

~~~

America: I’ve played basketball before.

America: *Goes to shoot the ball*

Canada: Go Lebron Manays!

~~~

Romano: *Sitting on the floor behind Italy and Spain so he doesnt get called on*

Spain: *pointing to him* Romano is here!

Romano: You Bitch

Spain: Germany, call on him!

~~~

Italy: Bye Germany!

Germany: Bye Italy, Love you!

Italy:

Germany: I’m so sorry

~~~

America: *On a discord call with Japan*

Japan: Bye

America: Bye, Love you

Japan: Wha-

America: * Hangs up*

Discord- would you like to rate your call?

America: *typing* Bad, I accidentally said “I Love You”

~~~

America: lol

England: What is this 2012? I haven't heard anyone say “lol” in years.

America: *internally* Did no one ever teach you to mind your own business.

England: *Laughing his ass off*

America: yesterday you said that something was groovy, what year are you living in, 1980?

England: >:O

~~~

Romano: So I stabbed myself in the leg three times with a pen-

Italy: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

Romano: Because I was stressed? Anyway-

~~~

Hong Kong: *Vibing to Cabinet Man by Lemon Demon at three am*

Japan: *Bangs on his door* DID YOU OPEN MY MOUNTAIN DEW?!

Hong Kong: wha- WHY THE FUCK WOULD I??

Japan: GOOD *leaves*

~~~

Italy: Illions’s favorite pizza topping is ketchup.

Romano: *Grabs his bat* What the fuck.

~~~

America: TwO tRuCkS, hAvInG sEx

England: What the actual fuck

~~~

Germany: I’m Hyperlexic

Italy: I’m Dyslexic

Japan: Together you are lexic

Romano: You just brought back so many lexia memories

~~~

Russia: I opened his mountain dew

Hong Kong: Why?

Russia: I like to inhale the carbonation.

Hong Kong: *Confused Screaming*

~~~

France: I’m not going

England: Okay

France: *Gets out of the car*

England: I thought you weren't coming?

France: I am now

~~~

Receptionist: Hey lady, so the restrooms are all the way across the building and the others are through the gym

Hungary: Why?

~~~

Romano: I swear to God if one more thing goes wrong today I'm going to kill myself.

Spain: Hey.

Romano: I'm going to kill myself!

~~~

England: *Walking*

America: You look like an NPC

England: What?

America: Now you look like a roblox character.

~~~

Italy: I got an ad for the new pokemon game and I was like “Did that pokemon just turn into a fucking motorbike?!”

Romano: *Mocking Him* Did that person just turn into a present?!

~~~

England: I can’t feel my facial muscles.

France: You can’t because you don’t commonly give people blow jobs.

England: What the heck.

~~~

France: Next person to walk through the door is annoying

England: *walks through the door*

France: True

England: FUCK YOU

France: I know you would you slut

~~~

America: That man was a pedophile!

England: It was the fucking mall santa!

Canada: Truly the most perverted man alive.

England: You too!?

~~~

Romano: Italy I swear to God if you do something more chaotic than you normally do I'm going to fucking choke Spain out.

Italy: Why are you torturing Spain

Romano: Because Spain is just an annoying little brat

Spain: *Getting ready to be killed* Screw you Romano no one loves you

Germany: I'm going to the corn field

~~~

America: is it a hotdish or a casserole?

Canada: a Casserole?

America: Nope, a hotdish

Canada: What the fuck is wrong with you.

~~~

Italy: Anything can kill you if you throw it hard enough!

Romano: *Breaking threw the door* Hey! That’s my line!

France: Anything can be a dildo if you try hard enough! England: You are a fucking disappointment

France: I know

~~~

Italy: This is my favorite picture of Germany!

Japan: All I see is Johnny Deept

~~~

Romano: *Kicking the air*

Prussia: *Grabs His leg*

Romano: *Falls*

Prussia: ‘-’

Romano: HE THREW ME! Prussia: NO I FUCKING DIDN’T

~~~

Russia: I know your mom

America: *Does Not have a mom* What’s her name?

Russia: Umm

America: What’s her name?

Russia: I’m in danger *Laughes*

~~~

Canada: I don’t know football

America: Okay?

Canada: But I know Hockey

America: Why

~~~

Germany: Depressed can be a character trait?

Germany: Hey y'all my name is Germany and I’m depressed!

~~~

Germany: *Making the hand wolves have sex*

Romano: DON’T MAKE THE HAND WOLVES HAVE SEX

~~~

Norway: So Finland gave me two fidget toys

Iceland: ?

Norway: and one of them is this fidget spinner thing and the other one is just a ball

Iceland: Ball, I want ball

Norway: O-okay. *Hands him the ball*

Iceland: *holds the ball* Textured Ball

~~~

Iceland: Hey Sealand, look at this *Shows him screenshots of lexia*

Sealand: Wha- *Starts Crying and screaming*

~~~

Romano: Sprigatito the italian seasoning cat.

~~~

Canada: Mom said that I was her favorite memory and that you were her second

America: *Angry Yelling*

England: I said that because he was the first born!

~~~

America: Hey BrOtHeR!

Canada: What do you want?

~~~

Iceland: I’ll walk home by myself

Sweden: You won’t

Iceland: Watch me *Walks out*

~~~

Italy: when in doubt, know your way out

Germany: what are you planning on doing

Japan: *running* I AM NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES 

Germany: what???

~~~ Spain: Two trucks having sex~

Romano: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU SPAIN

~~~

England: *Talking about child labor* Look at how dead inside this child looks

England: *Shows a picture of a kid from miss pilgrims home for particular children* Look at how similar they are, so you might say that the kids were ‘particular’

England: *Shows a picture of the kids from the shining* I added that one in there for fun-

America: *turns to Canada* We’re talking about child labor and he wants to make that fun?

Canada: Weird

~~~

China: Remembering the time my boyfriend told me that “Sweet Bod” by Lemon Demon was our love song but in a romantic way.

Japan: and you didn’t break up with him?

~~~

America: You can perform CPR to “Two Trucks” by Lemon Demon

Japan: What?

America: Imagine waking up after CPR and hearing “Two Trucks, having sex”

Japan: What is wrong with you?

~~~

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Semi Finals

Propaganda why Tony Stark is insufferable:

Super long, sorry lol

Thinking about how in Homecoming when Peter accidentally caused that boat to get split in half because the Vulture’s gun exploded and Tony was acting like as if Peter was completely in the wrong for going there just because he did it without his permission. He was acting like as if Peter was out of line and “disobeyed him”, trying to act like his father. And then I remember how in CACW he’s the one who scouted Peter in the first place just because he saw he might be useful against a personal squabble between him and Captain America despite knowing that he was a kid and he’s just now acknowledging how dangerous it is because Peter “acted on his own”

Completely hijacking Peter’s superhero story and trying to control his every move (Training wheels protocol and baby monitor thing he put in the suit), acting like Peter should’ve known that Tony would send someone in despite the fact that he’d been ignoring him for 2 months since Civil War and not keeping him updated on anything!!

How the hell is peter supposed to know Tony is going to listen to him when he treats him like a kid instead of a superhero when it’s convenient for him? And when Tony loses his temper after Peter says he’s 15 not 14 like “the adult is talking” bitch he could literally flatten you without your suit!!!

I guess in a way he is acting like a father but like the absentee kind. He’s more like a sperm donor father trying to act like he has any rights over Peter’s life smh.

It’s not that reprimanding Peter for the situation is bad, but the way he makes it seem as if Peter is irredeemable as if Tony wasn't a literal weapons dealer lmfao. He could’ve said what was the truth about it without completely invalidating him saying shit like “no thanks to you” after Peter asked if everyone is okay when it’s literally thanks to Peter finding a lead on those guys in the first place that they were even noticed and it’s not like the FBI being there could’ve in no way caused a similar situation.

And then near the end of the movie when he’s getting crushed by the building rubble screaming and crying for someone to help him where the fuck is Tony?? That scene just proved that he never needed Tony’s suit in the first place to be Spider-Man since he had to use 100% his own strength to lift it off of him. I know he would’ve found the motivation even if Tony hadn’t been involved in the first place to give him the suit, take it away from him and have the words “if you’re nothing without the suit you shouldn’t have it“ echo in his head. Why did Tony even take the suit away? Like as if he expects Peter to stop being spoderman without it??? Holy fuck. This is why you don’t make it out of endgame /j /srs.

When Tony took this suit away from Peter he was like “God I sound like my dad“ shouldn’t that be a red flag to him? Wasn’t he literally just saying that he wished his dad was better than he was?? Lmfao

Tony is so annoying. When they first meet he straight up bullies Peter into fighting for his personal bullshit, insults and objectifies Aunt May in front of him, spits into his trashcan and is in general being pushy af. He blackmails Peter when he doesn’t wanna come to Germany with him AND HE DOESNT EVEN EXPLAIN WHY HE WANTS HIM TO COME. Uncomfortable vibes lol.

Tony being the one to tell peter “if Captain America wanted to hurt you he would’ve” when Peter was trying to state his case, yet HE’S also the one who put Peter in harms way when he didn’t even want to go with him???

Telling Peter that he should stick to being a “friendly neighborhood Spider-Man” (stealing his thing once again) when that’s what Peter _was_ doing before Tony took him out of his zone and filled his head with grander things to be apart of….bitch? Die. Ohh waaaait (jkjk) but yeah

There’s the usual “he’s a war criminal who only felt bad about it when he realized his weapons were killing white Americans as well as Arab people” reason, and also he’s just super annoying. You had to be there for the original Avengers shitty dialogue a la “we have a Hulk” that had Tumblr in a vicious chokehold. Also he was supposed to FINALLY go away after destroying all his suits in Iron Man 3 but he just… didn’t! Which is bullshit.

Portrayed as a hero because? He chose to no longer mass produce war weapons and bombs after suffering the consequences. Huge hypocrite. Doesn't care about anyone but himself. Will backstab people if they believe in human rights when it's inconvenient to him. Seen as a hero while he's the personification of privileged people saying they're not privileged

Tony is so annoying. When they first meet he straight up bullies Peter into fighting for his personal bullshit, insults and objectifies Aunt May in front of him, spits into his trashcan and is in general being pushy af. He blackmails Peter when he doesn’t wanna come to Germany with him AND HE DOESNT EVEN EXPLAIN WHY HE WANTS HIM TO COME. Uncomfortable vibes lol.

Tony being the one to tell peter “if Captain America wanted to hurt you he would’ve” when Peter was trying to state his case, yet HE’S also the one who put Peter in harms way when he didn’t even want to go with him???

Telling Peter that he should stick to being a “friendly neighborhood Spider-Man” (stealing his thing once again) when that’s what Peter _was_ doing before Tony took him out of his zone and filled his head with grander things to be apart of….bitch? Die. Ohh waaaait (jkjk) but yeah

She’s a hypocrite who is ready to restrict the freedom of others when they make one mistake, but when he makes a mistake he figures he’s able to handle himself

Propaganda why Evan Hansen is insufferable:

just. oh my god. i cant put it into words. hes horrible im sure the rest of the world can find better ways to explain it than me

he lies to a grieving family about having been their dead son’s best friend. he does a bunch of patently awful things to either keep up this lie or benefit from it. he is portrayed as the good guy oh poor little guy he just has anxiety THE ENTIRE TIME

Lying creep

Lies about having been friends with a suicide victim so he can get in the pants of said victim's sister. The narrative excuses it and gives Evan no consequences for his actions because he's uwu anxious sadboi. What more is there to say? Other than the fact Ben Platt looked far too old to play a teenage boy so the film version is downright disturbing.

[rikebe]

thoughts on x men evolution kurt?

i LOOOOVE evo kurt!!! i have a huge soft spot for evo in general (i love love love any animated version of the xmen and evo is so silly and whacky i cant help but adore it) and i think kurt is sooo adorable in that show.

i love how this version of kurt leans wayyy more into his mischevieous and silly pranky side than most other adaptations and i really appreciate that. i feel like its such an underutilized and underrepresented aspect of his character that it even kinda gets tossed to the wayside in the comics half the time, but it's one of the things that makes him such a fun, three-dimensional character. i think its awesome that evo chose to go with that side of him when other adaptations focus more on his melancholy, somber side (which i also love of course! but its not all there is to him!)

im also a huuuuge sucker for little brother and comic relief characters in general (bobby's always been my fave o5) and kurt rly kinda takes on his role of the silly team baby in evo. i adore a silly team baby. plus, kurt is ACTUALLY the youngest of three siblings in canon, so i can totally see him being the annoying kid brother who tags along with amanda and stephan and gets on their nerves.

i liked the more serious plot they did for him too with the whole thing with mystique. ill never get tired of that storyline i wont lie and i think evo manages to strike a good balance where kurt is funny and comedic relief, but you still care about him and when he has a more serious moment it works.

although i think he CAN be a little overexaggerated with his teen speak, i like to imagine that's due to his status as a non-native speaker so he awkwardly overuses slang to try and fit in. I gotta say that I think most of the time Kurt being a teen from germany coming to america is treated kinda weird (see: the reboot movies acting as if kurt doesnt know what a movie or a store is. like guys hes from berlin in the 80ies. hes not from fucking dorf schragensdiek mid-14th century he probably has done way wilder shit than suburban teen scott summers.) so i like to make up my own headcanons to make it make sense a little lmao. also as a german: we think american/english sayings are super funny and like repeating them as germanly as possible. its like a nationwide sport so kurt doing it for funsies would also be totally reasonable.

overall i tend to take a lot of inspiration from evo for my version of a teen kurt bc the way he's characterized could totally be a super young and immature version of the sweet calm fuzzy guy we all know n love. hes silly and pranky and kind of annoying, but he's also really caring and the way his relationship with kitty evolved from a silly crush to genuine friendship was SO sweet. i love when kurt is shown that way, flirty but ultimately completely unselfish when his affections aren't returned and totally glad to just be friends with someone he had a crush on. i do think it's really lame how he uses the image inducer all the time since kurt NOT using the inducer anymore is such a big part of his character arc, and him using it at HOME all the time too is really weird but... well, whatever. in total one hell of a lovable, great kurt.

plus his design is super cute. how can you not love that 90ies boyband middlepart??

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

fic writer q&a

thank u @geneticcatalyst for tagging me <3<3 (when i opened up tumblr and saw the notification i was floored!! u?? participating in a writing game?? this is really cool im really happy about it! a normal amount of happy for normal mutuals who have def not spend a lot of their free time scream reblogging each other's takes with further additions)

How many wips do you have currently?

i usually work at multiple projects at once, it keeps me fresh, so, like, less than 30 but more than 10. lets not give out numbers to cultivate the illusion that i know what im doing

Which one are you finding the hardest to finish?

this isnt easy to answer because most of my wips give me headaches. im reluctant to say that all of them do, because i am an optimist, but the truth is that :D all of them do. but these kinds of headaches are usually easy to content with. most often its really just myself who stands in my own way; i have a method for that by now. i fridge wips and let them marinate for a bit, and often that is enough to work out the snares. either the enforced distance also established an emotional recontextualization, or future-me, who is 9 out of 10 smarter and more level-headed, immediately sees the issue and immediately knows the solution. god bless her

anyways! that is a longwinded way to say that yes, i have a wip like that. and its chosen in great honours for this title because, other than the other headache-inducing wips, this one's headache doesnt want to vanish even if i ignore it very hard, to my greatest chagrin. for one, i have to research a lot for it and subsequently examine subject matter that is difficult to expose yourself to over a prolonged period of time. my wip is inspired by and works through the socialpolitical events during soviet germany, nazi germany, and china during the time of the cultural revolution and in its present day. (im being vague on purpose.) im not a historian, and my formal education is helpful but lacking. the second reason, the true reason, is that through this wip, im also examining my own family history and recontextualize who i am in relation to it. its deeply personal and very emotional, and very exhausting. it also makes me, like, very angry, all the time. which is also exhausting.

What does it usually look like when inspiration strikes for you?

that depends! im working on finding a better writing/resting balance for myself because im really bad at respecting when i have reached a healthy limit. i know that many people in the writing community struggle with getting words on the page or making daily writing a habit. i dont have that problem i dont have any problems im amazing, no im joking, of course i have problems, but its more the other way around. see afromentioned disrespect of personal wellbeing during working hours

my relationship to writing is super fraught. so when inspiration strikes me, i will not automatically open up my docs anymore and start drafting or editing, or to write down some notes, because that would mean to delegate the thing im currently doing to another time. i need to have a really, a really, really, good reason to do so now. (this is a recent development thats still in the trial and error phase.)

i dont want writing to have that kind of power over my day-to-day life, yknow. my motto is that if whatever im cooking up in that moment, if its really "meant to be", it can wait. and if not, well. thats not my problem! (it actually is my problem, but im trying to ignore that unfortunate happenstance. writing is, like, literally just a thing i do for fun, i dont have to do it, there are thousand other things i could do instead /threat, and not more. this is what im telling my brain everytime it tries to convince me to make more out of it than it is. takes out a knife.) i also find it super helpful to just, like, sit with the inspiration. to just enjoy that feeling of bursting creativity. it feels really good, like attraction. and i can channel that elsewhere. fortunately, i see myself as an artist (hairflip) rather than a writer, so, to my other innumerable talents belongs a variety of very cool creative hobbies that i literally could do instead. (and they arent nearly as stressful!!!!11!!!11! for me!!!! personally!!!1!!!!! oh look, a second knife, however did that come into my pocket.)

its been doing me a lot of good to just, like, not care too deeply, and only write when im in the right mood. i want the act of sitting down and tending to my wips to be a conscious decision i make in full-knowledge of the consequences, no matter how pressing it feels in that moment to “do” something with that strike of inspiration. cultivating that enjoyment of a story by spending a healthy amount of my writing time dreaming about it, and virtually “doing nothing” makes me happy, and helps me find to where i need to go in the end. that is also an argument i use to barter with my capitalist brain.

Do you curate playlists for each fic or is your process different?

i used to curate playlists for wips. i still have those! theyre great for when i want to get into a specific mindset. i dont do that anymore though, too much work. most of my wips are fueled by the same music anyway, because most of my music listening to is being done while writing. thats also why i dont listen to music just for fun anymore, my music listening to capacity is fully exhausted (i know! how can i! im currently trying out this new thing called "recreational listening to music while lying facedown on the bed being a blob in the troposphere" its really nice)

Do you go balls to the wall and write as you go or are you more organized?

balls to the walls!!!!!!!! but id argue that these two things arent necessarily at odds u just have to know how to ride that rodeo (takes out a third knife)(camera pans in and it is revealed: im a knife bouqet shaped like a woman disguised in a trenchcoat)

tagging: @aiyexayen @intertexts @ayjada @fanghuas @gingabish0ujo