#interview in which i gave very long answers to short questions

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

fic writer q&a

thank u @geneticcatalyst for tagging me <3<3 (when i opened up tumblr and saw the notification i was floored!! u?? participating in a writing game?? this is really cool im really happy about it! a normal amount of happy for normal mutuals who have def not spend a lot of their free time scream reblogging each other's takes with further additions)

How many wips do you have currently?

i usually work at multiple projects at once, it keeps me fresh, so, like, less than 30 but more than 10. lets not give out numbers to cultivate the illusion that i know what im doing

Which one are you finding the hardest to finish?

this isnt easy to answer because most of my wips give me headaches. im reluctant to say that all of them do, because i am an optimist, but the truth is that :D all of them do. but these kinds of headaches are usually easy to content with. most often its really just myself who stands in my own way; i have a method for that by now. i fridge wips and let them marinate for a bit, and often that is enough to work out the snares. either the enforced distance also established an emotional recontextualization, or future-me, who is 9 out of 10 smarter and more level-headed, immediately sees the issue and immediately knows the solution. god bless her

anyways! that is a longwinded way to say that yes, i have a wip like that. and its chosen in great honours for this title because, other than the other headache-inducing wips, this one's headache doesnt want to vanish even if i ignore it very hard, to my greatest chagrin. for one, i have to research a lot for it and subsequently examine subject matter that is difficult to expose yourself to over a prolonged period of time. my wip is inspired by and works through the socialpolitical events during soviet germany, nazi germany, and china during the time of the cultural revolution and in its present day. (im being vague on purpose.) im not a historian, and my formal education is helpful but lacking. the second reason, the true reason, is that through this wip, im also examining my own family history and recontextualize who i am in relation to it. its deeply personal and very emotional, and very exhausting. it also makes me, like, very angry, all the time. which is also exhausting.

What does it usually look like when inspiration strikes for you?

that depends! im working on finding a better writing/resting balance for myself because im really bad at respecting when i have reached a healthy limit. i know that many people in the writing community struggle with getting words on the page or making daily writing a habit. i dont have that problem i dont have any problems im amazing, no im joking, of course i have problems, but its more the other way around. see afromentioned disrespect of personal wellbeing during working hours

my relationship to writing is super fraught. so when inspiration strikes me, i will not automatically open up my docs anymore and start drafting or editing, or to write down some notes, because that would mean to delegate the thing im currently doing to another time. i need to have a really, a really, really, good reason to do so now. (this is a recent development thats still in the trial and error phase.)

i dont want writing to have that kind of power over my day-to-day life, yknow. my motto is that if whatever im cooking up in that moment, if its really "meant to be", it can wait. and if not, well. thats not my problem! (it actually is my problem, but im trying to ignore that unfortunate happenstance. writing is, like, literally just a thing i do for fun, i dont have to do it, there are thousand other things i could do instead /threat, and not more. this is what im telling my brain everytime it tries to convince me to make more out of it than it is. takes out a knife.) i also find it super helpful to just, like, sit with the inspiration. to just enjoy that feeling of bursting creativity. it feels really good, like attraction. and i can channel that elsewhere. fortunately, i see myself as an artist (hairflip) rather than a writer, so, to my other innumerable talents belongs a variety of very cool creative hobbies that i literally could do instead. (and they arent nearly as stressful!!!!11!!!11! for me!!!! personally!!!1!!!!! oh look, a second knife, however did that come into my pocket.)

its been doing me a lot of good to just, like, not care too deeply, and only write when im in the right mood. i want the act of sitting down and tending to my wips to be a conscious decision i make in full-knowledge of the consequences, no matter how pressing it feels in that moment to “do” something with that strike of inspiration. cultivating that enjoyment of a story by spending a healthy amount of my writing time dreaming about it, and virtually “doing nothing” makes me happy, and helps me find to where i need to go in the end. that is also an argument i use to barter with my capitalist brain.

Do you curate playlists for each fic or is your process different?

i used to curate playlists for wips. i still have those! theyre great for when i want to get into a specific mindset. i dont do that anymore though, too much work. most of my wips are fueled by the same music anyway, because most of my music listening to is being done while writing. thats also why i dont listen to music just for fun anymore, my music listening to capacity is fully exhausted (i know! how can i! im currently trying out this new thing called "recreational listening to music while lying facedown on the bed being a blob in the troposphere" its really nice)

Do you go balls to the wall and write as you go or are you more organized?

balls to the walls!!!!!!!! but id argue that these two things arent necessarily at odds u just have to know how to ride that rodeo (takes out a third knife)(camera pans in and it is revealed: im a knife bouqet shaped like a woman disguised in a trenchcoat)

tagging: @aiyexayen @intertexts @ayjada @fanghuas @gingabish0ujo

[beatrixstonehill2]

A man with his phone out, conducting interviews walked the festival grounds of a local Pride event. He came upon a group of four girls and stopped, using his phone to pan across them as they giggled, huddling together. "What have we here? You ladies mind answering a quick survey."

"No," they said, shaking their heads.

"Excellent. From left to right, who am I speaking to?"

"Tiffany."

"Brooke."

"Jamie."

"Riley."

"OK, great, I'm Brett. So I'm conducting interviews with trans girls for polling purposes on our website."

"Awesome!" Tiffany said.

"What gave us away?" Riley asked, smiling big.

Brett smiled. "Oh you four don't pass very well, I could tell you were boys."

The girls all shifted, trying to hide the erections being called male gave them. Brooke's nine-inch cock very obviously strained against her shorts. She cooed softly.

Tiffany scoffed. "Ew, Brooke, you aren't about to cum are you?"

"No......" Brooke said.

"Easy, guys," Brett said. "I don't need you gooners cumming all over yourselves I'm sure you do plenty of that on your own. Speaking of which, from left to right, how many hours a day do you spend masturbating to pornography, and what's your preferred genre?"

"About eight hours," Tiffany said. "I watch videos of pregnant girls getting groped and raped on public transportation, especially if they have big boobs."

"Ten hours....." Brooke said. "I watch detrans hypnosis and forced detrans content the most."

"Six hours," Jamie said. "Mostly what Tiffany said. I love seeing pregnant college girls getting ganged up on and force fucked!"

"Ten hours," Riley said. "I watch extreme public bdsm and humiliation a lot. Some detrans stuff, too."

"Wow," Brett said. "Doing my work for me. Next question, how often do you fantasize about detransitioning?"

"All the time," Tiffany said. "I'm so sick of being on E, I've had like two breast reductions since high school. They keep getting so big I get dysphoric."

"Ugh, same, about to schedule my third reduction," Brooke complained, her cock very obviously erect. "I just want to commit and start taking testosterone like Ashley last year, he's so much hotter as a guy."

"A lot," Jamie said. "I see all the fun guys have groping and fucking girls and I'm so jealous. It's humiliating getting ass fucked by guys at frat parties instead of being the dominant one.... Every time I see a pregnant girl on campus I just want to rip off her clothes and show her I'm really a guy!"

Riley bit her lip. "I actually might've gone off estrogen last week...... I'm detransing."

"What!? Congrats!" Tiffany said.

"OMG lucky! I want to detrans soooo bad!" Brooke said.

Brett smiled. "Congrats. Next question..... how many fakegirls have you seen detrans this past year alone at college? Riley included, I guess."

"Oh God.... counting Riley? Ummmm....." Tiffany counted on her fingers, struggling to find the number. "At least ten. There's a rumor going around that Veronica is detransing, too."

"The one with the KK-Cup boobs? Wow, I can't blame her," Jamie said.

Brooke rubbed her cock through her shorts. "I know fifteen who detransed."

"Fifteen, who else am I missing?" Tiffany asked.

"Well, that cute art teacher, Miss Moore, the one who's like 23 with the big ass and the H-Cup implants...."

"Wait she's detransing? No way!" Riley said.

"Yep, she announced it on Instagram not too long ago.... I goon to her sometimes."

"Jesus Brooke, you're hopeless...." Tiffany said.

"And that couple, Emily and Lydia, you know the ones who're always wearing the skimpy dresses that show off their cocks?"

"No way are they detransing," Jamie said, rubbing her own growing erection in her shorts. "I don't believe it."

"It's true, I was in the girls' room, um..... eavesdropping one day and they went into a stall, made out, and shot up testosterone together, giggling like crazy."

"Wow, I thought I noticed their voices dropped, holy crap..... Well, uh, I could only think of like eight, so I'm out."

Riley shrugged. "I was thinking of fourteen, didn't know about Miss Moore, good for him!"

Brett smiled. "Last question: Why haven't you detransed yet?"

Tiffany shrugged. "I dunno.... I really want to get rid of my boobs and just be a guy already but I've been living as a girl so long, ughhhh.... I probably should though, since I don't even pass well, right?"

"Not one bit," Brett said.

Tiffany bit her lip, her ten-inch cock getting erect, pressing against her skirt.

Brooke rubbed her cock shamelessly. "I think I'm gonna go off E today. Screw it, I only continued being a girl because my family convinced me to socially transition so young. I'm gonna detrans!"

"That's the spirit," Brett said.

Jamie giggled. "Now I'm feeling left out..... I guess I never detransed because there was a lot of pressure not to, because I was a trans girl who started blockers in junior high and everyone found me super inspirational I never thought of speaking up..... I've wanted to detrans for a while now. Finally fuck some cute pregnant coeds like a guy my age should be!"

"And you already know my answer," Riley said, lifting her skirt to show her growing eight-inch cock.

"Wow, thank you guys, this went just as I hoped. How about it, Tiffany and Jamie, why not join Brooke and Riley and detrans already?"

Tiffany and Jamie looked at each other and smiled. "OK! Fuck it, let's do it!" Tiffany said.

"Hell yes, finally! I am going to fuck so many busty preggo sluts! Yes!"

"Well, my work here is done. Another very successful pride, pose for me please, and take out your cocks."

The 'girls' did as instructed, showing off their big, rock-hard cocks for Brett, pumping them as people walked by grossed out, glaring in disgust.

"On a count of three, say 'We can't wait to detrans' with a big smile. One, two, three!"

"We can't wait to detrans!" all four fakegirls happily said, bobbing up and down, their cocks and scrotums out for all to see, bouncing freely. Brooke at last came as they did this together, hands free, moaning softly with a big smile, eyes rolled back as she shot a dozen loads.

Brett smiled. "Wow, to think how much you'll cum after going on T." He whistled. "So with you four, that makes forty-six fakegirls I've convinced to detrans today alone. Poor delusional men, it doesn't take much, almost like all of you fantasize about stopping your little game of make believe. I better find a few more of you, it'd be a shame if I didn't break fifty."

[on-my-vigilante-sht]

Capitol Punishment III

Haymitch x Reader

Summary: The Capitol continues to torture it’s victors no matter how long ago they won through punishment, exploitation, and worst of all; their relationships.

A story in which Haymitch’s lover is a plaything for the Capitol.

Warnings: Canon level violence, rape (though never explicit), alcohol, murder, systemic poverty, exploitation, rebellion (?), more reliance on movie than book, suicidal thoughts

Word Count: 3.0K

Part II | Masterlist | Part IV

You, Cinna, and Effie were all eagerly sat on the couch in the living room of the penthouse waiting for Katniss and Peeta to return from their individual session with the game makers. You were discussing game outfits with Cinna when Effie suddenly interrupted you. “Y/N where is Haymitch?” she demanded.

“Calm down,” you began, “he’s down in the training area waiting for them.”

Before Effie could huff anymore the elevator dinged and out stepped the tributes and Haymitch. Haymitch made a beeline for the bar again as Katniss and Peeta approached the couch. “So how’d it go?” you asked.

“Katniss shot an arrow at them,” Peeta jumped in to answer.

“Peeta!” Katniss scolded.

“Katniss!” Effie shrieked. “Why would you do such a thing?”

As Haymitch rounded the couch, drink in hand, he gave Katniss an emphatic thumbs up. You were glad to she a smile tug at her lips, probably the first since she’s gotten here. “Calm down,” Haymitch told Effie as he sat next to you, throwing an arm over your shoulder.

“Calm down? This reflects badly on all of us!” she huffed.

Haymitch just ignored her. “Tell Y/N what you said,” he laughed.

Katniss chuckled, looking down at her hands. “Thank you for your consideration.”

Haymitch laughed again, repeating the line as Caesar Flickerman appeared on the screen, rattling off numbers until he got to District 12. “From District 12: Peeta Mellark. 8.” Everyone erupted into excited gasps until they were quelled by Caesar’s voice. “Katniss Everdeen. An 11.”

Had you not gotten so good at keeping your face blank, your jaw would’ve dropped. An 11? That was practically unheard of. “I thought they hated me,” Katniss said in disbelief.

“They must’ve liked your guts,” Haymitch answered.

“And your accuracy,” you added.

Cinna then stood up, glass raised. “To Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire!”

~

You and Haymitch were stood with the other victors and tributes who had already gone, huddled around the screens displaying the tributes’ interviews. You watched intently, the career districts dazzling the audience as always. As for the poorer districts they were all clearly very uncomfortable, boring the audience. You had been a lot like them. You were very uncomfortable with the skin tight, almost sheer dress you had been put in and you gave short, quiet answers to Caesar’s questions.

You watched as Katniss entered the stage looking dazed, tension clawing at your throat. “She’s gonna pass out,” you commented to Haymitch who had a hand rested on your hip.

“She’ll be fine. She’s the girl on fire, people will eat it up.” You only nodded, eyes still locked on the screen as Caesar welcomed her to the stage.

Caesar made a comment, waiting for a reply but all he got was a “What?” from Katniss.

“I think someone’s a little shy,” he laughed gently. “I said that was quite and entrance that you've made at the Tribute's parade the other day. Do you want to tell us about it?”

“Well, I was just hoping that I wouldn't burned to death.”

The crowd erupted into laughter, meanwhile Katniss still looked like she was going to throw up. “When you came out of that chariot, I have to say… My heart stopped. Did any of you experience this as well?” he asked the crowd which let out an applause. “My heart stopped.”

“So did mine,” Katniss breathed, earning another laugh.

“They love her,” you said in awe.

“Yeah they’re liking the vulnerability and the girl on fire thing,” Haymitch said, taking a swig from his drink.

“Now tell me bout the flames. Were they real?” Caesar asked.

“Yes,” Katniss answered with a slight smile. “In fact I'm wearing them today. Would you like to see?”

You clutched Haymitch’s blazer as the crowd began cheering.

“Wait wait wait. Is it safe?” Caesar asked. Katniss smiled and nodded, standing up. She faced the audience before spinning around, flames erupting from the bottom of her gown. “Woah woah woah! Steady!” Caesar called as Katniss’s spins slowed. He helped her sit back down, giving her a second to gather herself. “Katniss, that was something. That was something. Thank you for that. I have one more question for you. It's about your sister,” he paused for a second taking her hand. “We were all very moved, I think when, you volunteered for her at the reaping. Does she come to say goodbye to you?”

“Yes,” Katniss’ voice echoed across the now silent audience. You could see everyone looking incredibly sympathetic towards her.

“And what did you say to her in the end?”

“I told her that I would try to win. That I will try to win for her.” The crowd ‘awed.’

“Of course you did. And try you will,” Caesar said solemnly before take her hand and standing up. Back to him normal, excited presenter self he yelled, “Ladies and gentlemen, from District 12, Katniss Everdeen, The Girl On Fire!”

“They ate that up,” Haymitch celebrated, jostling you a bit. “Sponsors will be clamoring to help her.”

Katniss then walked in, spotting you and Haymitch just as Peeta was entering the stage. “Nice job, sweetheart,” Haymitch complimented. “And nice dress.”

“Thanks,” she muttered before turning her attention to the screen.

Peeta was sat on the chair next to Caesar, looking very comfortable with the spotlight. “How are you finding the Capitol? Don't say with a map,” Caesar said with a laugh.

“Uh, it's uh… different. It's very different,” Peeta said with a suave smile.

“Different? In what way? Give us an example.”

“Uh okay, well the showers here are weird.” The crowd laughed.

“Showers?”

“Yes.”

“We have different showers,” Caesar told the audience.

“I have a question for you Caesar,” Peeta leaned up a little. “Do I smell like roses to you?” he asked very seriously even.

“Um…” Even Caesar, a seasoned professional, seemed surprised by the question.

“Do I?” He seemed especially surprised when Peeta leaned closer, gesturing Caesar to smell him. “Do I?”

“Yeah,” Caesar agreed. “Do I smell like it?” The audience once again roared with laughter as Peeta smelled the host.

“You definitely smell better than I do,” Peeta said, leaning back.

“Well I’ve lived here longer.”

“That makes sense.”

None of the other tributes’ interviews held a candle to Peeta’s. The Capitol was eating up his charming banter and they had adored Katniss’ awkwardness coupled with her image as the girl on fire. You glanced around the room, finding the career tributes sending side eyes to Katniss. Some were trading their glares between Katniss and her district partner on the screen.

You were brought from your thoughts by Caesar’s next question. “So Peeta tell me… is there a special girl back home?”

Peeta chucked bashfully. “No, not really.”

“No? I don't believe it for a second. Look at that face. Handsome man like you, Peeta. Tell me.”

Peeta licked his lips, the only sign of nervousness tonight. “Well, there a… there's this one girl that I had a crush on forever. But I don't think she actually recognize me until the reaping.”

“Well… I'll tell you what Peeta. You go out there and you win this thing. And when you get home, she'll have to go out with you. Right folks?” The crowed cheered.

“Thanks but I uh… I don't think winnings gonna help me at all.” Peeta was picking at the arm of his chair, not making eye contact. “Because she came here with me.” All three of you froze, both you and Haymitch slowly turning to look at Katniss. She had a look of shock that slowly morphed into anger.

The crowd broke out into sounds of sympathy and shouts of support.

“Well, that's bad luck,” Caesar said, surprised again for the second time this interview.

“Yeah. It is.”

“And I wish you all the best of luck.”

~

You, Haymitch, and Katniss headed towards the elevators, Katniss still silently fuming. Once you pressed the button, Peeta rounded the corner to meet you. Katniss made a beeline for him, pushing him over into a table, knocking over a vase which broke. “What the hell was that?” she demanded.

“Stop it!” Haymitch yelled, standing between them.

“He made me look weak,” she seethed.

“He just did you a favor,” Haymitch countered. “He made you look desirable. Which in your case can’t hurt sweetheart.” Ice rushed through your veins as you realized what Peeta just did to Katniss should she be the one to come out of the games.

You stepped over broken glass, towards Peeta. “C’mon,” you said, gesturing to help him up. He reached up towards you but stopped when he saw blood coming from hi palm. “It’s okay,” you dismissed his concerns about getting you dirty, “we’ll get that bandaged up.”

He took one of your hands with his non-injured one, allowing him to stand up. “We’ll go to the infirmary. See you up there?” Haymitch nodded, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead before facing the elevator once more.

You led Peeta down the hall, finding the training room and the infirmary just off of it. “Hello?” you called, expecting someone to be there. You got no reply.

“I don’t think anyone’s here,” Peeta said, still applying pressure to his palm.

“Yea, me too. Why don’t you sit down, I’ll find some gauze and bandages,” you requested, guiding him towards a chair. You then went into one of the back rooms, finding all the supplies you’d need. You grabbed them, walking back out towards Peeta. “Let me see,” you tugged on his hand, squatting down. “So, was that thing about Katniss real?” you asked, dabbing blood away from the wound.

“Yeah,” he said bluntly, seeming to have nothing else to lose. “I used to watch her walk by to school every day.”

“Well, sorry she kind of rejected you,” you laughed. Fortunately he did too.

“Yeah, definitely one of the harsher rejections.”

“Well if it’s any consolation, the sponsors absolutely loved you.”

“Hey, what’s your deal with sponsors?” Peeta asked. You froze, trying not to show it. “I mean you change whenever sponsors are mentioned.”

You huffed. No point in keeping this kid in the dark. “Because the sponsors who saved my life feel… entitled to me. And it’s become this situation where people pay Snow, and in return they get me for the night.”

“Oh…” Peeta said. “I’m sor-”

“Don’t be,” you cut him off. “It’s the price I pay for getting to love Haymitch. If not for him, I’d be long gone by now.”

“Do the people know about you and Haymitch?”

“No, Snow wants me to seem available. Even if we were allowed to be a couple publicly I doubt it’d change much. The Capitol loves to take things from the districts. I suppose my… predicament is also Haymitch’s punishment.”

“Can I ask— and I don’t mean to be rude—” you laughed internally at that. You were pretty sure this kid didn’t have a rude bone in his body. “Why are you with Haymitch? He’s like 15 years older than you and an alcoholic.”

You chuckled a little at the ridiculousness of it. Many others who knew about your relationship had asked you the same. “Because he was there for me my entire games. Even after he was beaten down by the Capitol and cynical about the world, he was there for me, meanwhile I had absolutely no one else. I won my games out of spite… Haymitch has become my only reason to live.” Peeta sat speechless, not sure what to say. “C’mon,” you said, taping down his bandage, “let’s get you to bed.”

You headed upstairs, making small talk as if you hadn’t just poured out your heart to this kid. You made your way into Haymitch’s room where he was laying on the bed, watching a holographic television. “Hey, how’s the kid?”

“He’ll be fine, just sucks he has to go into the arena with a cut open hand,” you said, lying down next to Haymitch. He rolled closer to you, pulling down the neckline of your dress a little, revealing bruises you didn’t cover up with makeup. Your presence had been requested by a Capitol man not long after Katniss’ 11 was announced. As he was using your body he demanded to know how Katniss scored an 11 and when you refused to tell him, he got violent until a couple avoxes that had been in the room had to pry him off of you.

“They’re getting more violent,” Haymitch noted, an edge of anger in his voice. “Y/N this is getting really dangerous.”

“There’s nothing either of us can do about it,” you sighed. “I’m doing this until I’m no longer desirable.”

“You’ll always be desirable to me,” Haymitch murmured, pressing his lips to yours. He rolled more so he was on top of you, sliding his hands down your body.

You placed a firm hand on his chest, pressing against him. Taking the hint Haymitch pulled away from you. “Not right now, I want to wash him off me first.”

“Yeah, of course. Take as much time as you need,” he said, pressing a peck to your lips before getting off of you.

~

The next morning both you and Haymitch walked Peeta to his tube, Katniss having decided to go with Cinna, the two of them becoming close over the past couple days.

“Remember, run away from the Cornucopia, nothing in there is worth getting killed in the first two minutes,” you advised. “If you join an alliance leave early, remember no one in there is your friend. Only one person comes out.”

Peeta nodded nervously, standing in front of the platform.

“I really do, sincerely hope I get to see you again,” you said, pulling him into a hug.

As you stepped back, Haymitch reached forward, taking Peeta’s hand, shaking it. “We’re going to try our best to help you in there.”

You watched nervously with the other victors as the time counted down. “3… 2… 1.” The tributes ran to the cornucopia. You watched as Peeta ran off into the woods along with two others. As for Katniss she ran towards the cornucopia, stopping only a couple feet in. She looked around, trying to figure out what to do as you internally cursed her for not having a plan.

Fortunately all the career tributes who had weapons were too distracted, slaughtering the others tributes who also went for supplies. Which gave Katniss enough time to decide to grab a backpack further away from the cornucopia than the weapons. She was suddenly knocked to the ground by another fleeing tribute before he was taken down by the girl from District 2 with the knives. She flung another one at Katniss which would’ve hit her in the chest had she not used the backpack as a shield. Taking the knife out of the backpack, she ran for the trees. Fortunately the girl with the knives lost interest in Katniss.

By the time the bloodbath was over there were 11 dead children, and you needed a drink. Seemingly reading your mind, Finnick appeared with a whiskey. “Sorry about your tribute,” you muttered into the drink.

Finnick shrugged sadly. “He was only 12. Didn’t have much of a chance anyways. Just sad that no one volunteered for him.”

“Yeah,” you agreed softly.

“I see your human torches are still alive. Congratulations.”

You chuckled. “Yeah well only one listened to me. Katniss got lucky the other careers didn’t target her as soon as that timer went off.” You looked over at Cashmere, Gloss, Brutus, and Enobaria who were observing their tributes as they officially formed their alliance. Every other tribute had either fled or laid dead, leaving them in control of all the weapons and supplies.

Suddenly, Peeta and the boy from District 3 came out of the woods, hands raised high in surrender. “No Peeta,” you whispered under your breath as Beetee came over to you.

“They’ve formed an alliance,” he commented.

“Yeah one that’ll get them killed as soon as they eliminate their biggest threat: Katniss.”

“I think Byte will prove to be a bit more useful to the careers than yours,” Beetee said in a slightly excited way. “No offense.”

“None taken,” you muttered. It wasn’t uncommon for victors to take pride in their tributes, especially the ones that had a shot at winning. No one wanted to watch the child they had just trained for a week get slaughtered.

“Sorry about your tribute Finnick,” Beetee said. Finnick only hummed a response.

You all watched as Peeta and Byte acquired the careers’ trust. With Byte saying he could rig the explosives to protect their supplies. And Peeta promising that he could help find Katniss. Finnick sucked air through his teeth. “Cold blooded. Say you’re in love with the girl from your district only to create an alliance to hunt her down.”

“Unless he’s slitting all their throats in their sleep, they’re going to kill him the first chance they get,” you said.

Suddenly peacekeepers entered the room, making a beeline for you and Finnick. Seeing the threat, Haymitch was immediately by your side, wrapping a protective arm around your waist.

“Finnick Odair,” you silently breathed a sigh of relief, “your presence is requested.” Finnick huffed, used to the drill, before handing you his drink and begrudgingly heading off with them.

“Glad it wasn’t you. I don’t think your body could handle it,” Haymitch muttered against your hair in relief, referring to the wounded state you had been returning to him in.

Part II | Masterlist | Part IV

[graneymar]

#2. NEYMAR: WORST BEHAVIOR

SUMMARY: You and Neymar haven’t seen each other in weeks when he finally comes back to Paris. After a match you attend PSGs press conference and decide to tease him.

WARNINGS: very slightly smut

PAIRING: Neymar x female reader

You and Neymar haven’t seen each other for almost four weeks. He was on summer break and decided to visit his family in Brasil. You would love to, but sadly couldn’t go with him since you just got a new job. The two of you have never been apart from each other for such a long time – which means you never had to go without sex for so long. Of course you missed him more than anything, but when he instantly fell asleep after his arrival yesterday, you couldn’t hide your disappointment. You were secretly wishing for the so called "I-missed-you-sex". As if that wasn’t enough for you, PSG had a match on the very next day. No question, you were clearly annoyed, you just wanted your boyfriend all to yourself finally, but nevertheless, you still decided to attend the match.

"Parabéns bebê", you cheered as Neymar got out of the changing room [congratulations]. "Obrigado meu anjo", he smiled and gave you a quick kiss [thank you my angel]. PSG won the match, Neymar even scored two goals. "So…", you smirked, "Ready to go home?" Obviously, you couldn’t wait for it any longer. Seeing Neymar sweaty and out of breath turned you on so much. He always knew what expected him after he got home from a match. "Not yet, we have to hold a press conference." Neymar softly laughed the moment you gasped. "Do you really have to?", you asked, more than pissed off. "Babe", he put his arms around your waist, "The later, the better it'll be, trust me." He winked at you after he kissed you once more and led you to another room. You sat down at a chair in the corner as Neymar walked up to his teammates.

As minutes went by you kept on getting more impatient. "We're done soon, I'm sorry", Neymar texted you from under the table. You watched the time, but to you, it seemed like the clock stood still. At some point you found yourself yawning, but you knew you weren’t supposed to get tired when you finally wanted to do it. Wasn’t he as needy as you? You had to get him out of here as soon as possible, so you decided that teasing him would do the job for you. Smiling to yourself, you started typing some dirty stuff into your phone, telling Neymar about how much you missed him and all the things you want to do with him. You watch him read your messages, the nervousness in his eyes was now showing. No reply? Well, let’s go harder then.

After scrolling through your gallery for a couple of seconds, you found a picture of your twins in a bra. A photo Neymar hasn’t seen before. You haven’t actually felt comfortable taking revealing pictures of yourself, but that was what the two of you were doing while he wasn’t home. Thinking about it for a second, you decided two send him the picture. His eyes widened as he looked at his phone underneath the table before he threw you a warning look. The smile on your face was enormous. You were slowly getting there, you knew it. Every now and then, he would glance back at you. Still not enough? You send him another picture. It was a mirror selfie of you in lingerie. Lingerie you wanted to surprise him with after he came back. Seeing him getting all excited and his body tensing, you had to bit your bottom lip to not burst out in laughter.

"Neymar?", one of the interviewers asked. He overheard a question for him. "Yes? Uh, sorry, I got a little distracted. Could you repeat that please?" He swallowed hard and looked back at you for a short second. His trainer and teammates seemed confused about his behavior and looks - his furrowed eyebrows, him not sitting still for a second, now not even listening to the interviewers.

Between all of the stuttering, Neymar somehow managed to answer the interviewers question. It took him some time to order his thoughts though. Okay, enough is enough. Or actually, no. You had him so far at that point, he was acting like a ticking time bomb. It wouldn’t take you a lot for him to explode. "If this doesn’t do it, I'm giving up", you thought to yourself as you send him the very last photo. You – completely naked. Neymar choked on his water as soon as he saw it. By now, all eyes were on him and you couldn’t hold back a quiet laughter. He jumped up and told his trainer he doesn’t feel too good. Excusing himself, he jogged out of the conference room.

Fully aware that you would get 'punished' for what you did, you happily got out of the room only to find Neymar standing in front of the door waiting for you. His arms were crossed and he looked mad, like very mad, but that big sparkle of lust was still visible in his hazel eyes. Without saying a word to you, he grabbed you by the wrist and dragged you down the hall. "What are you doing? Where are we going?", you laughed out. "I promise you will get regret this", was all he said before pulling you into the empty changing room and locking the door behind you.

All you could say at the end of the day, the wait was absolutely worth it.

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

New Girl [00]

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

(slow burn, endgame, as in you’ll be seeing some short term pairings here and then as well)

MODERN DAY AU

Word count: 1,564

Summary: Life threw you a curve ball when you walked in on your long term boyfriend making out with someone who definitely wasn’t you. Since living with him was no longer an option, you’ve ventured out at the advice of a work friend and found the absolute perfect loft to reside in. The only issue?

You suddenly have four very odd roommates.

a/n: a long time ago i mentally cast jensen ackles as disaster clint barton in my head and have not shook it since which is why his picture is used above👍🏼

[00]: WELCOME HOME

Chapter Summary: You find a new place to live. Your friend mentioned all the amenities, but left out a very important detail.

The loft was absolutely gorgeous. It had an industrial feel to it thanks to the brick walls and metal beams running across the ceiling. Despite that, the warm light streaming through the multitude of windows gave it a soft vibe. From where you sat on the recliner you could see a small, open kitchen that sat right across from a large dining area all of which was behind the large, ‘u-shaped’ couch. Honestly, the moment you stepped through the door your brain immediately decided that this is where you wanted to live.

However, there was one little flaw you didn’t foresee when you showed up for the interview/tour.

“So, you guys…are guys.” You said slowly. You laced your fingers together and rested them on your knee awkwardly. In front of you sat four men. Very manly men, actually. Enough so that you weren’t sure why your co-worker would think sending you here to live would be a good idea. Scott Lang had mentioned the open room and the great location, but he had left out this huge detail.

“Yes. Good eye for detail.” The man who introduced himself as Bucky Barnes said dryly. He sat at the far end of the couch in front of you on the left side. He had short, dark hair that kind of looked like he had just rolled out of bed. Sweatpants, a t-shirt, and scruff all along his defined jaw. His stormy eyes looked exhausted, his lips looked downturned into a perpetual frown, and it made you mildly curious since it was literally one in the afternoon and he was nearly dead on his feet.

“I know it’s hard for you to not be a dick, but maybe you can, I don’t know, try?” Sam Wilson, if you remembered his name correctly, replied to him from the entire other end of the couch. The black man had his arms crossed over his chest with a raised eyebrow, but there was nothing but amusement in his brown eyes. Unlike the first man that spoke, this one was dressed in much nicer clothes. A button up shirt and khakis.

You opened your mouth to cut in, but another one of them spoke up first. He sat next to the man who had just spoken, “Quick question, are you single?” You knew his name was Peter but you couldn’t remember what his last name was only that it started with a ‘Q’.  He had an impish smirk with sandy blond hair that could only be described as purposely messy. He had a sort of goatee that was mostly just stubble. There was a leather jacket resting on the couch behind him that he had taken off when you first walked in to reveal the tight, gray shirt he wore. “I think it’s the question all of us want answered, right?”

All the men chorused solid disagreements, but it was the man beside him that spoke directly to you. This was the only one who hadn’t actually introduced himself to you. He had come in a couple minutes ago, dropped down on the couch, and then just joined in. You had mentally been referring to him as ‘hot mess’. He had like three bandages on his face, his lip was busted, and he had a fading black eye. His blond hair was also messy, but definitely not in a styled way. More like a ‘I haven’t touched a comb since I was 12’ kind of way. He motioned to you, “Ignore him, the real question we have for you is: Do you have any pets and when can you move in?”

“No.” Bucky shook his head. “We vote before we ask someone to move in. Loft agreement.”

Hot mess spoke again, “Well then let’s—”

“Wait,” You held one hand out and eyes snapped back to you. “Scott told me this was a four-bedroom place, and that you guys were looking for someone to fill a room but…there are already four of you?”

Peter half-heartedly motioned to Bucky and Sam, “These two share a room.”

“Oh!” You bobbed your head with a smile as you motioned to them, “So you guys are a couple?”

“No!” Bucky and Sam both yelled loudly making you jump in shock. They immediately turned and began to bicker with one another.

“Why’re you saying no so fast, man?? I’m a fucking catch.” Sam argued.

“You said no just as quick as I did!”

“Yeah, because I can do a hell of a lot better than a maybe alcoholic still mourning the loss of his psycho ex.”

Bucky sat forward to glare at him, “We are not having this argument again.”

As they continued to yell at one another, while you watched on awkwardly, Peter focused on you with a charming smirk, “They have bunk beds.”

“Bunk… beds?” You questioned skeptically.

“No, no, no.” Sam cut in quickly. He gave up on his argument with Bucky to clarify this. “It’s two very separate beds, on opposite sides of the room. See, I lost a bet so now I’m stuck with his ass—”

“You lost the bet? I lost the bet and now I’m stuck with you.” Bucky argued back.

Hot mess shook his head, “They both lost the bet and now they bunk together like camp buddies.” The two men in question grumbled unhappily. “Also, we’re all super broke so we need someone in the empty room who has a consistent paycheck.” As if to clarify further, he pointed down the couch starting with Bucky, “Bartender at a sketch ass place, in an unknown band, and therapist.”

Sam held one hand up, “I’m the only one with an actual paycheck.”

“I have a paycheck!” Bucky argued.

“And my band is not unknown.” Peter scoffed. “The Guardians have a gig this Thursday!”

Hot mess grinned, “And where are you playing?”

“A Korean restaurant where old men play card game and chain smoke.” Peter mumbled.

You cleared your throat and tried to get this conversation back on track, “You didn’t tell me what your job is. Or your name.”

“Oh, I’m Clint Barton!” He quickly stood up and offered his hand to you. You smiled and took his hand to shake it then he sat back down. “And my job changes depending on the week.”

You bobbed your head once with confused, narrowed eyes, “I, uh, I don’t know what that means.”

Bucky shook his own head, “Neither do we.”

“Well,” You took in a steadying breath, “Like I said before, my name is [Y/N]. And, I actually do have a steady paycheck.” You motioned to yourself. “I work for a modeling agency—”

“Whoa, whoa!” Peter threw his arms out to interrupt, “You’re a model??”

“Uh, no.” You chuckled awkwardly. “I’m more like a manager? Book gigs, manage contracts, help them on set…” There was a pause where they all just stared at you with blank looks. Peter was the only one actively gawking though. You filled the silence with the first thing your brain thought of, “It’s fun! My best friend from high school actually works there as a model so it’s a lot of us just…goofing off? Uh… I don’t have any pets—”

“Meeting!” Peter barked and stood up. He gave you a charismatic smile, “Just give us a couple minutes.” The others stood up with less enthusiasm and began to march out of the room, down the hall. Peter gave you a nod, briefly biting down on his lower lip, bounced his eyebrows up once, then winked at you, “Don’t miss me too much, alright baby?”

Bucky stopped at the mouth of the hall with a frown, and when Peter tried to walk into the hallway he threw his hand out to stop him. Peter complained as Bucky shoved him back then pointed to the short shelf sitting behind the couch. There was a glass jar sitting on it with a pink sticky note taped to the outside that read, ‘Douchebag Jar’ in messy handwriting.

“Jar. Now.”

“That wasn’t even so bad!” Peter argued before pulling a dollar bill out of his pocket and shoving it into the jar. The two of them left to wherever the other two had and suddenly you were left alone in the pretty apartment. Without the yelling boys, the loft became more and more tempting.

You drummed your fingers against your thighs nervously. This was a weird situation and at your age you weren’t really looking to live in a loft downtown with four strange men, emphasis on strange, but you didn’t really have another choice. Your job paid well, but you had lost a lot of money after buying a house with your long-term boyfriend. It seemed like a great idea at the time considering the two of you were coming up on three years together, but when you walked in on him making out with a girl sitting in his lap the great idea died really fast. You didn’t get that money back and honestly you didn’t even try to get possession of the house. You just wanted to be out of his life. Regardless of the cost.

Clint ‘hot mess’ Barton suddenly slid back into the room on his socks making you jump in surprise. He threw his hand out broadly as the others came in as well, “Welcome home, roomie!”

You jumped up in excitement, “Really? You guys aren’t going to regret this!”

[wildflower-otome]

[Translation] Bustafellows Season 2 - Helvetica Short Story - Am I bad?

Source: Bustafellows Season 2 Stella Set Special Bonus Booklet Note: Takes place after the first game, no S2 spoilers.

Helvetica Short Story - Am I bad?

‘Ah, Teuta, about today….’

Having rushed into the living room in a fluster, Teuta threw her bag onto the sofa.

‘What is it!?’

‘No…..you seem to be in a hurry.’

‘I’m about to be late! I’ve got tons of interviews on for today…..Ah! But I’ll make sure to be there tonight!’

‘Will you?’

‘’Course I will. I mean, didn’t you say it’s a big important academic conference? Since I got invited as your partner, I’ll be sure to come all dressed up. You know….because I couldn’t make it to the party last time.’

As she answered my question in a loud voice, Teuta was in the kitchen making a shoddy looking sandwich. The scene was just so comical, I couldn’t help but laugh in spite of myself.

‘....Why are you laughing?’

Cheeks stuffed with bread, she returned to the living room.

‘I wasn’t really laughing. I was just so, so happy that you hadn’t forgotten our promise.’

‘.....The way you said that just now sounded kind of pointed.’

‘Well, perhaps I am also referring to the fact that you stood me up last time without so much as a text message.’

‘I did say I was sorry about that….’

‘Exactly, that’s why I am very much looking forward to you being there tonight.’

‘Yeah…..Ah, crap! Forgot to print out my manuscript!’

Making a hurried reply, Teuta again dashed out from the living room. The sight of her hand holding on to her phone as she went by remained in my eyes like an after image. Vivid, red-coloured nails. The lacquer stuck out a little and was uneven.

(Those nails you tried so hard to paint really suit the red dress you picked out last night…..)

That evening, the venue was overflowing with well-dressed guests. My appearance on stage was now long well over. All I’d had to do was introduce the papers that had been submitted to the conference in a formal ceremony. Since the aim of tonight’s party was mainly to gather donations, I’d been able to keep the formalities to a minimum. The sponsors who gave us money had no interest in the latest technology. They only cared about the superficial side of things, about things that were showy and capable of generating buzz.

(....Teuta hasn’t arrived yet.)

When I looked at my phone, there was a message from her. Perhaps it was to say that she was already here at the venue, or that she wasn’t going to make it.

I took a surreptitious look around me. I couldn’t help but follow women with the same type of build with my gaze. If possible, I didn’t want you to see me looking around for you. You would probably laugh at me, saying, “Did you really miss me that much?”

(......Well, I suppose I wouldn’t really mind that either)

In the passageway towards the bar I saw a group of men and women. No, it was actually just one woman, and a number of men. With just a single glance, I could tell that she was beautiful. Her red dress and golden hair reflected vividly in my eyes.

(.....Teuta?)

Although the simple red dress and pointed toe shoes she wore looked mature, her side profile showed an appearance that still had a small element of childishness.

‘Which clinic are you from?’

‘Um, I’m-’

As I came closer, I could clearly hear their conversation. It was obvious from the tone of their voices that the men were trying to flirt with Teuta. I should probably immediately intervene, but it was fun watching both the troubled Teuta and the men getting ahead of themselves.

‘We can get into the VIP area, so why don’t you come with us?’

‘I-I can probably also get in. My boyfriend is a VIP too…..’

‘Your boyfriend’s a VIP? And who might that be? Perhaps you mean me? Ahaha!’

I almost let a burst of laughter escape me. They must be thinking they were doing pretty well, but just imagining what their faces would look like soon enough, my shoulders seemed about to shake with pent-up amusement.

‘Ah, hey….look this way for a moment.’

‘Huh? What is it?’

‘The tag’s still on your clothes.’

‘Wha-!? No way-!?’

As I listened to their conversation, I took a casual glance at Teuta’s dress. He was right, the tag was still hanging there, just as it had been when she’d bought it.

‘I’ll take it off, c’mon, turn around.’

‘Um…..’

Just before the man’s outstretched hand touched Teuta, I firmly pulled her towards me in an embrace.

‘Ah-.....Helvetica?’

I gently ran a hand through her golden hair, gathering it together.

‘Uh, if I’m remembering right, you’re-’

‘Do you know who I am?’

Having seen me take Teuta into my arms, the mens’ eyes had quite literally grown round.

‘Um, Helvetica…..?’

‘Stay where you are and don’t move.’

The tag hanging at Teuta’s back. I drew my face closer to it, biting down on the thread.

‘Ah-.....’

The tag I’d bitten off still in my mouth, I faced the men down once more. Seeing them look so shocked, I couldn’t help but smile. I spat the tag out at their feet.

‘So? Do you know who I am?’

‘Ah, um…..that is-, p-please excuse us-’

The group of men quickly scattered like a pack of hyenas that saw they no longer had a chance of victory.

‘..........’

Teuta timidly turned to look at me.

‘Helvetica…..?’

‘I’m not necessarily praising you with the words I’m about to say, so please don’t get carried away.’

‘Wh-What?’

‘You are a much more attractive woman than you think you are. There are probably a lot of men who find you physically desirable. And not only that, you’re dense when it comes to male-female relationships.’

‘Hey, “dense” is a bit....’

‘Men are good at sniffing out that kind of denseness.’

‘What do you mean by “good at”? I wasn’t really interested in getting to know those guys from earlier at all…..’

‘It means they think they can have their way with you if they’re pushy enough.’

‘That’s….’

Perhaps because I’d ended up wording it harshly, Teuta’s eyes looked a little hurt. Taking a deep breath, I put my arms around Teuta’s shoulders and drew her close to me. As I lightly stroked her back, she rested her head on my chest. The weight of it felt comfortable.

‘You’re in love with me, aren’t you? You love only me. Isn’t that right?’

‘.....It is.’

‘Still, please be more aware that there are bad men out there that might try and lay a hand on you.’

‘..........’

‘Your answer?’

Teuta took her face away from my chest, looking up at me with large eyes.

‘.....I, like bad men.’

‘What are you saying?’

‘I’m telling you I like bad men. The kind that’s always making a face like, “I only do what I want” but actually is always thinking about me, that can’t help wanting to keep me all to himself, that kind of bad guy.’

‘.....Is that so.’

I stretched out a hand, tangling Teuta’s hair around my fingers. The soft sensation of it running through the spaces between them felt pleasant.

‘.....Am I a bad woman?’

‘Yes, a woman that's bad at using her head.’

‘So mean.’

Leaning down a little, I put my lips at Teuta’s ear. As I sucked in a small breath, I could feel Teuta’s body tense. I spoke in a voice as low and breathy as possible.

‘.....Seeing as you can only think of me, don’t you think you’d have to be?’

[fallinallincurls]

OT Winners & Baby Kisses

a fic?? from me?? it’s been a little bit but this little blurb finally got finished and i couldn’t wait to share it! the whole idea was inspired by a gif set thanks to @tonyspep​ and it was the cutest thing to write! also yes, beau is an islander here so we’re ignoring the trade lol.

hope you enjoy!! feedback is always appreciated! xx

word count: 1.4k 

~~~~~

It might be the prettiest goal of his career. Not that Anthony cares. All that matters is the Isles won the game against Toronto in overtime thanks to his top shelf beauty that found the back of the net. His teammates surrounded him in one big hug almost instantly and he got endless helmet taps from everyone for what he did. 

But when the celebration is over on the ice and he’s heading back to the locker room for an interview with Shannon, his thoughts are focused on something not even closely related to hockey or the big win. 

The love of his life and his little boy.

“Beau! Thanks so much for taking a couple minutes to chat.” Shannon greets him with that same warm smile she always has whenever she catches the boys for interviews. Anthony says it’s no problem and that he’s happy to do it, especially because the fans love these little videos too. “I won’t keep you long. I know there’s a few others who want to congratulate you on the big win.” She continues and Beau nods in agreement. 

After going over the questions and trying to think of good responses, Anthony puts all his attention on Shannon and the short interview. The faster it gets done, the quicker he gets to see you and his son.

“I’m here with Anthony Beauvillier, who scored the gorgeous OT winner to give the Isles yet another victory. Beau, can you walk us through the play and how the goal came to be?” 

Anthony answers, words leaving his lips in a coherent way and he can’t help but smile thinking back on the goal that doesn’t seem like it just happened. He lucked out in terms of getting great teammates and he loves every second of playing with these guys. 

He’s so zeroed in on the camera and his statements about the game, that he almost completely misses the soft murmuring that distinguishingly belongs to a toddler. But he listens to Shannon and tries to tell himself it’s not who he thinks it is.

“We heard your family was here tonight, and if they were, how did that impact your game?” 

At that very moment, when Anthony’s breath is stolen away just at the mention of the two most important people in my life, he hears an unmistakable “dada!” followed by toddling footsteps that are heading in his direction. When his blue eyes shift, he spots his sweet little boy running towards him with his arms wide open.

“Frankie!” Anthony immediately mirrors the excited tone of his son as he kneels down to scoop him up in his arms. The happiest giggle escapes past Frankie’s lips and it’s a moment Beau wants to remember forever. He knows that you can’t be far behind and sure enough, he spots you in no time.

Just behind the crew and others passing through the hallway, Beau finds you with a look of adoration and panic on your face. When his gaze meets yours, you mouth a simple “sorry!” even if you both know nothing would’ve stopped Frankie from getting to his father the second he recognized him.

“Sorry, Shannon. Looks like we have a special guest joining us.” Anthony chuckles, adjusting Frankie against his hip. The little boy waved enthusiastically at the woman before settling against his dad’s shoulder.

“Dada win game!” Frankie exclaims, placing a hand against Beau’s cheek while flashing the biggest grin possible. “Win!”

“That’s right, we did win. Good job!” Anthony replies before kissing the top of Frankie’s head and turning back to Shannon. With one silent look, he gave her the okay to ask his son a question which is something he knows will be too cute to pass up. 

“Frankie, how cool was it to see your dad score tonight?” 

“This much!” Frankie says, holding his hands as far apart as he can. “I yell for Dada when he got goal.”

“I heard you on the ice, buddy. You and Mama.” 

The little boy giggles, the sound filling Anthony’s heart with so much love he swears it might burst, before he nuzzles his face into the crook of his dad’s neck. It’s the telltale sign that Frankie has gotten a little shy which only seems to make the moment even sweeter. 

“Thanks so much for your time, Beau. Enjoy the rest of the night with your family. Back to you guys!” Shannon finishes the interview, giving him and Frankie a quick goodbye before the broadcast crew leaves. 

Before he can even adjust Frankie’s little Islanders beanie so the one floppy piece of hair on his forehead gets tucked back underneath, you’re walking right up to them. The smile on your face can only be compared to the sun and Anthony swears he has never known a love like this. 

“Hey, bub.” You say softly, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips that immediately makes Frankie giggle. “You killed it out there tonight. We’re so proud of you.” Anthony can’t stop the swelling in his chest at the compliment. He usually hates any kind of attention surrounding his play, but from you and Frankie, he would take it anyday.

“Thank you, mon amor.” Anthony murmurs, the French rolling off his tongue so smoothly. “What a surprise this one was! Surprising me in an interview.” He continues, bouncing Frankie on his hip for a moment and the little boy laughs before burying his face against Beau’s. 

“I happy for goal!” Frankie exclaims with a laugh before squishing a big, dramatic kiss against his father’s cheek. A giggle slips past your lips at the sight. You’ve never known this kind of happiness before and you don’t ever want it to disappear. 

“Well, I’m just as happy to see you.” Anthony says, booping Frankie’s nose to get an adorable smile in response, “And you.” He finishes and pulls you in for a soft kiss that’s full of love.

When the two reluctantly pull away, everything in the world feels just right then. Frankie is fisting Anthony’s blue jersey in his tiny hand as he snuggles into his dad and the adrenaline of the game is still rushing through each one of you although your son seems to be getting sleepy. If this is what the rest of your life will be, will feel like, because of Anthony and your little boy, there’s nothing else in the world you want.

“C’mon bubs, Daddy needs to get changed so we can go home and you’re getting tired.” You prompt, reaching over to transfer the toddler to your arms. But before Frankie can respond or Anthony can hand him over, you hear someone yelling as they turn the corner towards where you’re standing.

“Beau! Dude, where have you been?” Barzy calls out before he takes in the scene. “Hey, Y/N! And Frankie! What’s up, little guy?” Mat says with excitement, holding out a fist for Frankie to fist bump.

“Unca Maty!” Your son almost squeals and Anthony has no choice but to put him down so he can toddle over to his best friend on the team.

“I didn’t know you two would be here.” Mat continues with a smile as kneels down to Frankie’s level before picking him up. “Dad scored a goal just for you, Frankie, huh?”

“Yeah! You score too!” Frankie replies, beaming while gently patting Mat’s cheeks. You can’t help but laugh at the scene and you lean into Anthony for a moment, just watching the little boy who you both love so much interact with one of your closest friends.

“Wanna go say hi to the boys? They would be thrilled to see you.”

“Yeah, yeah!” Frankie cheers in response to Mat’s question and you only shake your head before Mat promises he’ll be back with him soon.

“I should go supervise. Make sure nothing crazy happens.” Anthony says quietly, hands finding your hips and his gaze never breaks away from you. It’s almost as if the rest of the world doesn’t exist.

“That would be a good idea. Plus the faster we get home, the faster Frankie goes down for bed and the faster we celebrate, yeah?” Anthony’s eyes go wide as you keep talking and your voice begins getting softer and softer. OT winner or not, you still would’ve wanted to celebrate him but you already had the perfect thing in mind.

“I’ll make sure Mat doesn’t hog him for too long.” Beau smirks, kissing you deeply before heading towards the locker room. And as you’re standing there shaking your head as he runs away with a dopey smile on his face, you know you couldn’t be any happier.

[hooked-on-elvis]

okay, hiiii! so ahem, I’m not too sure if you’ve watched elvis’ “stay away, joe,” and if you haven’t you really should. although it’s kinda…iffy, he’s so damn fine in there 😮‍💨🫠

I’m really curious about one of his ladies in the film! Quentin Dean, do you know anything or any info as in if they’ve had a bond, or any outtakes?

She randomly popped into my head after watching the wh0rehouse scene in the ‘68 comeback, bc susan henning lowk looked like her in it?!?! lol I think it’s the bangs or sumthin’

But please and thank you, I gotta know!

Hi, Lexy! I'm so, so sorry for taking so long to answer your question, dear. Thank you for reaching me out for information on Elvis' movies, I feel honored you'd think of me for this, really. If there's something I love to talk about, concerning Elvis' career, this is it, his movies — even if it's not always I am lucky finding satisfying info on them, like in this case. 😣

I've spent a long, long while trying to find anything about Quentin Dean and her relationship with Elvis during making of Stay Away Joe (that's why I took so long so answer you) - from Youtube videos to movie magazines articles, but unfortunately I still haven't.

Strangely, Quentin Dean retired pretty quick from Hollywood, after only 4 movies done and very few one-episode appearances in some Western TV shows.

Her acting career (TV and movies) lasted from 1967 to 1969, two years, and it's just bizarre since she was nominated for a Golden Globe Awards for Best Supporting Actress due to her first role on the big screen on the Oscar winner movie (Best Picture) 'In the Heat of the Night' (1967). This movie was released the same year Quentin filmed Stay Away Joe with Elvis (filmed from October 9 to November 27, 1967, released on March 8, 1968).

Quentin Dean prepared for her screen test for the Academy Award Winner movie In The Heat of the Night (1967).

Curiously enough, other than the movies, one of the few TV shows Quentin worked on was The Virginian, created by - guess who! - Charles Marquis Warren, director/producer/screenwriter of Charro! (1969 *updated for minor correction on date -- 'Charro!' was filmed during July and August of 1968 and released in 1969*). Quentin appeared in only one episode of that show, but even so, why would she give up her acting career so fast? She surely had good network in Hollywood... that's just weird. What's worse is that it seems she rarely gave interviews during her acting career and/or denied interviews after retiring from Hollywood, which would explain why her interviews are so hard to find.

1968. Quentin Dean as Saranora on The Virginian (TV Series, 1962–1971) S7. E1 "The Saddle Warmer".

I really tried to find any interview with her, and there must be some, but with a career as short-lived as hers the journalists' interest for details on her acting career is not that big, therefore there aren't modern articles online (that I have put my eyes on) and the existing vintage 60s printed ones weren't scanned and shared online so far, I suppose. 😣 What a shame!

I am confident (or just hopeful) there must be some kind of information concerning her work relationship with EP in books specifically dealing with Stay Away Joe making of, such as "Elvis: Behind The Scenes Speedway & Stay Away Joe" by Erik Lorentzen. I haven't read this book yet, unfortunately. I'm so sorry for not being helpful for now, dear. I tried. I wish I knew something. :( If any friend reading this have already read this book and know something helpful, please, feel free to share what you know with our community. ♥

Well, since we're talking about it already, if you ask me I'd say Elvis and Quentin had a pretty good professional relationship but not as close as Elvis and some of his other leading ladies had. This is pure speculation on my part, but I have a reason to think so. This if one of the movies Elvis did (this one and 'Kissin' Cousins', maybe a few others too, not sure) that Priscilla -- as well as some of the wives from the Memphis Mafia guys -- was right there watching Elvis work in the filming set. I'm not implying Elvis would have had any intimate relationship with Quentin if Priscilla hadn't been there on the filming set or anything but, speaking on friendship matters, it makes sense Elvis would have spent more of his time on set, during breaks from filming, with his gang than with the other actors. Not sure but if so, Quentin wouldn't have many opportunities to get better acquaintance of him, I guess she wouldn't have much to say about him as a person because of this.

What I can say is: below is a "behind the scenes" picture [on the right], not a publicity shot for what I've read. Judging from their faces, Elvis and Quentin had fun working together. ✨ I know, I know... this is not specific but this is what I can share for now.

I'm gonna keep trying to find some information about Quentin's career, and hopefully on her accounts over working in Stay Away Joe. I really wish I could understand why her acting career was so short and what she has done afterwards in her life, so maybe in interviews she shared something about it.

For now, I'm humbly gonna share some of the pictures of Stay Away Joe. And, yes, I've watched it! I've watched all of Elvis' movies.

Stay Away Joe didn't catch my heart at first but little by little it grew on me. Now it is one of my favorite Elvis movies, even tho I still think it's an extremely noisy and a little messy-looking movie too. LOL. Even so it's a good movie... here and there I re-watch it. ♥

Elvis Presley (Joe Lightcloud), Joan Blondell (Glenda Callahan), and Quentin Dean (Mamie Callahan) in Stay Away Joe (1968)

And, to make all of us a little happier, our man:

Stay Away Joe (1968 released, filmed in late 1967)

[jokeroutsubs]

📝 ENG Translation: Joker Out: "We perform only for a loud audience".

Article from City Magazine, Serbia.

ENG Translation:

We perform only for a loud audience

Loud, fun, with dancing and a pinch of sequins

We don’t remember when a band jumped several levels of the music scene so quickly, and flew into the most popular in the region ,like the Slovenian band Joker Out.

The popular Slovenians sold out a concert at Dom Omladine in just a few hours, so another date had to be added. Belgrade will welcome them on the 2nd and 3rd of November.

The guys are still on the fence about their fans, when the female fans throw teddy bears on stage, as well as bras. Their audience consists of girls of various ages, but even the parents have heard about them after this year’s Eurovision, when the guys won the hearts of Serbia, which in return gave them 12 points.

Even though it seems to us that everything happened quickly, the band’s frontman Bojan Cvjetićanin didn’t agree with us and told us they’ve been performing at this level for a few years already.

From here we started our short interview, before he and the band ran onto the stage in Belgrade and had an absolute blast.

“In Slovenia we’ve been working at a very high level as a band for at least two or three years already. But we’re still proud of how we’re leading the whole band. We’ve gathered a team that’s like a family to us, so we’re all trying to do things to keep that childish enthusiasm to the max. We’re still very happy and smiling children.” Bojan tells us and continues on that he knows he’s still a “happy child”.

“Even now, when we get to the soundcheck, I behave the same as when everything started. We run out of the van, set up our equipment, joke around, consult with the sound engineers… ”

I asked him what they do when they’re not rock’n’roll stars, but the rock’n’roll star got a little embarrassed at that. However, I asked him to be serious, because it wasn’t me who filled the space in front of the main stage at Arsenal fest this summer, but him.

“We really hang out a lot, and when we’re free, outside of gigs, we spend time together. We love to go fishing.” answers Cvjetićanin and adds what everyone always asks of him; what ‘Carpe diem’, from the name of their biggest hit, means to them.

“All of that time spent together, when we always have new ideas, and where we’re never bored, which also represents a part of that childish enthusiasm. Carpe diem, that’s our day when we’re together.”

A serious career in the west is opening for the guys. In addition to their notable Eurovision performance, this year they collaborated with the famous Elvis Costello. Because of this, and the quality and popularity of their songs, they had a nearly sold out tour in Great Britain, as well as Poland and Scandinavia.

“We haven’t really considered collaborations, with Elvis it came organically. He’s a big inspiration as a musician, and at the very top there’s not many above him. Of course, there’s people we’d love to collaborate with, but as I said, if something happens on its own, then that’s it.”

Regardless of the jump to the west, they haven’t forgotten about the first steps and the people they looked up to at the start, so they always take the chance to mention bands like Siddharta or Da Phenomena, which will be familiar to those who watched and enjoyed MTV Adria.

Lastly, we asked them which bands from the former Yugoslav republics they would bring on tour with them, if they could.

“Of course, from Serbia it has to be Buč Kesidi, Vojko V from Croatia, Who See from Montenegro. We’d bring the young Slovenian band MRFY with us as well. Now, I’m not familiar with a lot of the Macedonian music scene unfortunately, and from Bosnia… (after a long thought and with loud laughter) Hari Mata Hari.”

I had to ask the classic reporter question before a gig, a little twisted though, what do you expect when performing? “I don’t expect a quiet crowd. And I really wouldn’t like for someone not to have fun while we’re performing.”

I’m sure it’ll be exactly like that. Loud, fun, danceable, with a pinch of sequins.

Scan by: IG Safursey (cover picture) & IG Komplijovana (pic 2 & 3)

Translation cr: @moonlvster

[starcrossedxwriter]

I don’t know if you’ve been asked this before, or if you’ve answered this, but has anyone ever asked Michael or Charlotte where the nickname Honeybee came from? I just thought of that and it tickled me cause how would they answer that with a straight face.

Ok I love this question and I hope you see this, anon! Sorry it took me sooo long but I wanted to write something out cause I thought this was so cute lol and to answer your question, they definitely didn't keep a straight face hahaha Michael's been on Graham Norton a couple times and his interviews were so cute and he is so funny so enjoyyyy!

***

“I’m very excited to have you both on the couch at the same time, Michael and Charlotte. Here to promote Creed III, which is in theaters next week. I’ve had you both here separately but this is a treat to have you both here,” Graham Norton offered, the studio crowd applauding the couple. 

“Thanks man, it’s always a good time here,” Michael responded, Charlotte nodding in agreement. 

“So Creed III out next week. Your directorial debut, which is awesome. Congrats to you, Michael. But I have to ask you, Charlotte, what’s it like being directed by your husband? Is that weird having him boss you around on set? Did you give him a hard time?” 

Charlotte laughed. “You know, actually it was pretty fun. Not sure how other people feel… working with their husbands but I loved it. You know we’ve been doing these movies and playing Bianca and Adonis for almost a decade. And as these characters have grown and evolved so have we and our relationship. So we have developed a short hand and ease on set with each other that made it easier. It also helps when your pillow talk is with the director,” she chuckled. “I kinda had an idea of the shots he wanted at times and could adjust to make sure I was doing my part to help him get it. Honestly, I just felt proud and so excited for my husband in real life getting to watch him achieve his dreams. I would just watch him sometimes on set and think 'damn, that's my man.' It was fun." 

“That’s really sweet. What’s the most annoying thing she did on set?” He asked Michael. 

Charlotte playfully raised her eyebrow as Michael rubbed his chin.

“You tryin’ to get me in trouble, huh??” He chuckled with a jokingly nervous energy. “Nah, she has always been like this but she is clumsy as hell - in character and in real life. So more than once, we'd get like a perfect take and then she'd just trip over like… air and we had to redo it."

Charlotte covered her face with her hand in embarrassment as Graham, the other guests, and the crowd laughed. 

“Is that true?” 

“1000%. I drop everything, I trip alllllllll the time. It’s pretty wild that it hasn’t happened more on red carpets and stuff honestly. And I break a lot of stuff too,” she added, her shoulders shrugging lightly. “I’m worse than our kids and we have twin boys so that’s saying a lot.” 

“Wow… so I imagine it’s gotta be weird giving feedback and getting it from your husband? How’d that go over?” 

“You know she’s pretty perfect so I never gave her anything other than glowing praise,” Michael interjected with his award-winning smile that had every woman in the crowd swooning. 

“Awww, that’s so sweet. And a complete lie,” Charlotte answered playfully, causing the entire crowd to laugh. “I will say, he was very good at giving constructive feedback but I could always tell what kinda feedback was coming just by how he addressed me.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, he never uses my first name. And we try to keep it professional on set so he calls me Els 99% of the time on set and at home. But if he had constructive feedback, he always called me honey bee instead of Els. It was like his tell. But yea if he pulled out honey bee, I knew it was to butter me up,” she laughed. “But the feedback was mostly positive.”

“Honey bee, that’s so sweet,” Olivia Coleman, one of the other guests on the couch added. 

“To be young and in love. None of the rest of us know anything about that,” Graham joked as the other guests had been married far longer than Michael and Charlotte. “I know Els is short for your middle name. Is there a story behind that nickname?” 

Michael and Charlotte shared a glance, Michael trying to stifle his laughter. However, Charlotte could not hide her own, immediately doubling over at the thought of sharing that origin story. They did not mind sharing details of their personal lives and relationship but that was one area they strayed away from.  

“I take it that story is not appropriate to share?” 

They both shook their heads as they laughed. 

“Nah, definitely not, definitely not. It started off as joke but then I liked it and it stuck,” Michael laughed. “That’s her name in my phone too.” 

“Meanwhile, he’s name is just Bakari in mine with a heart and ring emoji. He’s the romantic in this marriage.” She scrunched up her face playfully as he leaned over and pecked her on the cheek, causing a loud awww to echo through the crowd.

***

This was fun! Ask me more stuff like this, friends lol

[tobyblogger]

What Happened to the Other Users

Hey everyone, Toby here. Many of you have messaged me asking about what happened to the other users, like EerieWhispers, EddieMcRoy, NexusThrill, and Phantom Echoes. Pretty much all of them.

These are the people who posted previous accounts of their experiences with that copy of Five Nights at Prototype Fredbear’s. But before we get into it, have you noticed how once they posted their stories, they stopped talking? Well, you’re about to find out why.

Let’s start with EerieWhispers. I remember receiving a message from her parents about her whereabouts. In case you’re wondering, I’m friends with all of the missing users. Basically, her parents told me that after she stopped speaking—right after her pet cat Milo was murdered—they went to visit her. When they entered her room, they saw a shadow hanging over the bed in the dark. When they turned on the lights, they gasped in shock and sadness.

They found her body hanging by a noose above the bed, swinging back and forth. Underneath her body, they found a note. They read it and sent me the following:

“Dear friends and family,

I couldn’t believe it when I tried to call the police while attempting to stop it from taking my cat. They didn’t believe me and thought it was a joke. I can’t live like this anymore, so I will be taking my life.

Sincerely, Jessica.”

Her parents are now filing a lawsuit against the police department for causing their daughter to commit suicide.

On to the next person, Eddie McRoy, my cousin.

He didn’t kill himself or harm himself directly. Instead, at the end of his post titled I Encountered a Sighting of Prototype Fredbear—which was actually posted by his brother Julius—he described hiding in his room and huddling under his blanket. I was told that later that day, when Julius entered the house, he found Prototype Fredbear hovering over Eddie. The bear lunged forward, grabbing Eddie’s head and ripping it off.

Upon seeing this, Julius told the bear to “go fuck himself.” He grabbed his shotgun, aimed it at the creature, and opened fire. The bear took damage and fell out of the window. Julius immediately closed the window, locked every door in the house, and called both the ambulance and the police. When the police arrived, they told Julius they’d been receiving numerous reports of a similar creature matching his description. They investigated further, and while searching Eddie’s belongings, they found a terrifying image.

It was a photo of the backyard, with a strange creature visible on the left side. When the police showed the image to other people who had reported encounters, they confirmed it: the creature was Prototype Fredbear, the same one from JosephTheSnail’s game Five Nights at Prototype Fredbear’s.

For the record, the police also questioned JosephTheSnail, but it’s clear he wasn’t involved. Many of the people who reported the incidents didn’t press charges against him either.

Now, about NexusThrill. He stopped posting after sharing his account of the disturbing photos and videos on his computer. His roommate told me that Nexus shot himself shortly after.

His body was found on the floor, and his roommate took him to the hospital. Surprisingly, Nexus survived for a short while after the gunshot, but he later died from an accidental fall out of his apartment window.

As for Phantom Echoes, his cat was also killed. He overdosed on drugs and passed away. Sadly, his body began to rot because no one checked on him for a long time. I had been messaging him, asking where the hell he was, and eventually, a neighbor informed me of his death.

The neighbor checked Phantom Echoes' posts about the incident and typed the following: “Holy shit, what the fuck!?”

After that, he stopped speaking to me.

Finally, let’s talk about JosephTheSnail. The police interviewed him about the haunted game, and he gave them a very honest answer. He explained that everything started with a poll on Game Jolt. He showed them the poll results, and while the police were shocked, they realized Joseph wasn’t responsible for this. The haunted copy of the game wasn’t created by him, but likely by some psychopath—or something far more evil and horrifying.

As for me, I’m doing fine now, although I’m still pissed that Joseph’s reputation is being ruined by this creature. Thankfully, people aren’t blaming him.

My cat is safe and still with me. I swear I’ll protect him no matter what, and I’m staying as far away from that damn copy of the game as possible.

[callmeblake]

Neil Sabatino (Pencey Prep) Interview

Feb 17, 2021

Neil Sabatino, former guitarist in Pencey Prep, lead singer of Fairmont, and founder of Mint400 Records, was gracious enough to listen to our Pencey Prep episode and answer any and all questions we had! He was able to tell us some incredible anecdotes from his time in the band, from the recording process to his thoughts on the record today.

My Chemical Fancast: Can you tell us your story of how you ended up in Pencey?  

Neil Sabatino: So I was in a punk band that played a lot with Frank's band Sector 12, he knew me for a couple years because I would book his band on shows and I always was the business person for my band band at the time. He heard I left that band and gave me a call to see if I wanted to join Pencey Prep like a month or two after he had started it. I was friends with Frank and his bandmate in Sector 12 Bruno so I was happy to join because at the time I was not in a band.

This episode (of podcast This Was The Scene) covers when I left the band in August 2001 to start the band Fairmont. It’s a little long but it’s basically the catalyst that lead to the band ending. I was in the band from summer 2000 through summer 2001. By that time we had written all of Heartbreak In Stereo, we had also started work on the second Pencey Prep album, which would have had the songs Home, Heroin Slow, Rebuilding Home, and Lock On The Second Floor Door. The second two I just ended up making different versions of and putting them on Fairmont’s first album. Once I left the band had been itching to be a little bit heavier so they wrote Attention Reader, Death of The Lionheart and a few others within the 9 months before they officially broke up. What led to the actual final shows was Tim was having knee problems and could not tour or play drums for extended periods of time. Frank had also been playing in My Chemical Romance for months by that point and Hambone was asked to join Sleep Station so it just made sense to call it quits then. Frank, Hambone and Shaun also did a short lived Pencey reunion as I Am A Graveyard with Ray Toro on guitar and Frank just sang. I believe that was only for a few shows or one show because MCR had started to take off and they were the opener for at least one MCR show in NJ at club Krome. Hambone and Shaun played together a little in a band that later formed called The Hostage a few years later. Then Hambone joined Fairmont for 2 albums (Hell Is Other People and Wait & Hope). After that Hambone joined Frank for some touring with Leathermouth. That’s been the extent of collaborations.

MCF: How did you decide on the cover art for the album?

NS: We actually had this really great painting of a robot that was supposed to be the cover, it was a piece I made that was hanging in my kitchen but the owner of Eyeball thought it looked too close to The Get Up Kids album that had come out a year earlier and told us to come up with something different. I think I brought like 4 or 5 drawings to Frank and he picked the one he liked best. I definitely did it rather quickly and didn’t give much thought to it. We basically only had a few days to figure the situation out.

MCF: There's some confusion among fans regarding who wrote which lyrics. Would you be able to shed light on who crafted the lyrics and/or what that writing process was like?

NS: The very first songs that were Pencey Prep songs were 8th Grade and The Secret Goldfish. Those were kind of stripped down and really raw on the original demo which was called “Trying To Escape The Inevitable” (We liked that name, hence using it later on as a song title). The original demo has no lead guitar parts and the whole ending of Secret Goldfish didn’t come about until later when I joined. Those two were written by Frank as Sector 12 was ending. That first version of Secret Goldfish had Bruno Rocha from Sector 12 singing on it because originally Frank didn’t really want to sing.

Next we did 2 songs in the studio after we had been together for about 4 months, which were Yesterday and Lloyd Dobbler. Yesterday was just a 2 chord punk song before we started working on it as a band but that also was all Frank. Lloyd Dobbler was written by Hambone but he couldn’t really play it well so on the album I played all the guitars on it and Shaun just added some piano. I would say all the piano was written 50% by me and 50% by Frank which is why occasionally it overlaps and plays the same things as the guitar does on the album.

The first tracks I brought to the band were Ten Rings and 19, which I co-wrote the lyrics with Frank. Usually I would come up with the chorus or pre-chorus and he would flesh out the verses. Early versions of Ten Rings were weird. 19 spawned from the piano part which I wrote at a practice and it’s mostly lyrics about a break up I was going through at the time. Ten Rings was more about Frank’s situation with an ex that cheated on him but was still keeping tabs on him. I think we both fictionalized parts of each song to make them better.

Don Quixote, PS Don’t Write and Florida Plates were three of the Hambone songs that he wrote when he was younger but they were completely restructured music wise as he wrote them originally just on an acoustic guitar and we now had a five piece band playing them. I know Frank and I consciously wanted to have that At The Drive In playing back forth lead type thing going on with the guitars.

The last songs we finished were all musically written by me: Trying To Escape The Inevitable, Home, Heroin Slow, but Trying to Escape was Hambones lyrics about a situation a friend of his was in and yes that’s Hambone doing the talking part. Heroin Slow was all Frank’s lyrics, we used to jokingly tell him it sounded like he was saying Carl Winslow (From the show Family Matters)  in the chorus. Then Home was again Frank’s verses and my chorus lyrics. But let me tell you, I believe that is the most personal song he has ever written, if you knew his whole situation that song was his story at 19. We had two other very complete songs that never got recorded. One had no title but was heavy like Trying To Escape The Inevitable and the other was called Lock On The Second Floor Door and was the 3rd song I was singing with Pencey in addition to Fat & Alone and Rebuilding Home. We had 2 other songs that got thrown away much earlier that didn’t fit with the rest of the set but that was about all we wrote in that first year.

MCF: Who recorded the spoken part in "Trying to Escape the Inevitable?”

NS: That was Hambone. John Naclerio who owned the recording studio did the backing on Secret Goldfish. Bruno Rocha from Sector 12 who was in Pencey for a few months is the backing on Yesterday.

I am the backing vocal on the chorus of 19 and I sing Fat & Alone, Frank is the backing vocal on Fat & Alone, yes the high parts too. The Cartman impression at the end is Tim the drummer. At the top of the song the “Fat & Alone” that you guys say sounds Canadian or something is me - my wife is from Minnesota so I kind of have that Norweigan twang sometimes. The guy talking that says 5/29/01 take 1 is Antonio Valenti who owned the studio where we did Fat & Alone, Heroin Slow, Home, Rebuilding Home and Secret Goldfish Acoustic.

MCF: Were there any bands or albums that served as a main source of inspiration for Heartbreak?

NS: We seriously had like 10 records on repeat for every single drive and they were:

The Get Up Kids – Something To Write Home About At The Drive In – Relationship Of Command

Saves The Day – Stay What You Are

System Of A Down – Toxicity

Dashboard Confessional – Swiss Army Romance

Hot Rod Circuit- If I Knew What I knew Then

The Anniversary – Designing A Nervous Breakdown

Jimmy Eat World – Bleed American

Weezer – Pinkerton

The Get Up Kids – Seven Minute Mile

We listened to other stuff but these discs were constantly played for every drive to anywhere and on like 10 mixtapes that made the circles around the band. I was into slightly more indie and older stuff like The Pixies. Hambone loved The Replacements, Husker Du and The Misfits but Frank usually vetoed that stuff and I think even threw Hambone’s Misfits CD out of the van on the one tour. Tim loved metal so we would put in the System of A Down CD to appease him and Shaun always liked the more obscure emo stuff like Knapsack, Mineral and Jimmy Eat World (who were obscure then).  That list above though was what we all agreed on and that was mostly what Frank was listening to aside from punk stuff like Bouncing Souls, Screeching Weasel, etc.

MCF: Can you tell us about your songwriting process/thoughts behind the masterpiece, “Fat and Alone?” How did this gem come to be?

NS: I think Shaun and Frank were chanting Fat & Alone and it was a directed insult at someone and I just thought the phrase was funny and I was dabbling in singing my first couple of songs at the time and it just kind of happened. We definitely thought it was funny and pretty catchy. We also loved the idea of a hidden track. However fast forward 20 years and it’s kind of insensitive and immature and the guys wanted to leave it off of the album going forward. Which, if it was perceived as an insult towards anyone, I am on board with it not being out there. You can find it if you really want to on Youtube. When I personally sat down to write it, it was actually more me thinking of how I was a fat little teenager and was more self-deprecating, but I was pretty thin when I was in Pencey so who was going to believe me? For any big boned people who take it on as an anthem, I’m right there with you, it was written by a fat kid for fat kids. I have been on a diet since 1997 so that I can stay an average weight.

MCF: Can you talk about your experience recording this album, from the basement to the studio?

NS: Well, we did it in pieces basically. When we first started we knew we were working towards creating this album “Heartbreak In Stereo”. I don’t even know how we came up with that name, it’s like it just appeared to us and we were looking to make 10 songs that reflected North NJ teenage heartbreak in the year 2000.  We were all miserable single dudes who played music non-stop. We had like 7 hour practice sessions and really got so much better in a short period of time. By December 2000 we had played about 5 shows and thought Yesterday was the most ready to record and that Lloyd Dobbler would be an easy just throw it in there if we have time type track.

That initial 2 song demo was what we pitched to get signed but we basically told them, with or without you we are making this 10 song record. Originally we were supposed to be on Frank’s dad’s label Black Ball Music (He worked there, didn’t own it), which was in California, but we were too impatient to wait to see if they were going to fund it and we moved on. This is why a lot of the early promo stuff says Black Ball Music on it. In May we went to a local studio to do the demos of the stuff we knew would not be part of the album but we wanted to get them on tape, that was Heroin Slow, Home, Rebuilding Home, Fat & Alone, and Secret Goldfish Acoustic. By June we decided we were finishing the album no matter what at the same studio we did the 2 song demo at (Nada Recording). We finished the other 8 songs rather quickly and thanks to Alan Douches at West West Side Mastering everything we had recorded, 15 songs all sound cohesive because of the job he did.

I have been in many bands over the years and I can tell you the work ethic and how we constructed that one record was very intricate and more well thought out than something usually associated with teenagers and some early 20 somethings. We really cared about every detail of the recording and the story and vibe and what the listener is going to take away from it.

MCF: Since we are an MCR podcast, what was your impression of My Chemical Romance in their early days?

NS: When I first heard “Vampires Will Never Hurt You” I was so damn mad that it wasn’t something I had come up with. At the time when those guys had first started I had been kicked out of Pencey Prep and hated the owner of Eyeball Records with every fiber of my being. But I think by 2003 Hambone called me to wish me happy birthday and I had also run into Frank at a show soon after that and we all put any hate behind us (not for Eyeball though, I still hate that fucking creep). I was really happy for Frank, I had known him since he was 17. I knew Mikey because he hung around with Pencey when I was in the band and the other guys were super nice.

I met everyone at Hambone’s house at a Thanksgiving thing early on right as they were about to get signed or were signed. I got to open up for them at the Loop Lounge, they played acoustic at like 2am. They also had let my band hang out back stage at a show in like 2005. Every time I ever ran into any of those guys they were always so nice and whenever I read something like how the band did something pro-LGBQT, pro-feminist, anti-racist it made me proud of the fact there is some small connection from my band to their band through Pencey Prep.

When they first started I remember hearing Headfirst For Halos on the college radio station and I really understood what kids saw in them. They had this really raw hyperactivity about them and in their music that was quite viral. The thing was at that time most of Jersey was just punk and power pop, they were different because they were taking like the cool goth elements of The Cure, Joy Division, Bauhaus, and punk-ifying it.

MCF: What's one (or two) of your favorite memories from your time in the band?

NS: When I first joined the band all of us were single. We would play in Frank’s basement until his Mom made us leave, like it got past the 9pm curfew and we’d head over to this basketball court that the band referred to as Boystown and we’d play a game or two and then head to the North Arlington diner. The end of summer 2000 and that same routine for a few weeks is what Heartbreak In Stereo is all about. The core essence of the album was formulated all in that few weeks.

MCF: You’ve continued to play in bands and work in the industry. With that experience under your belt, how do you feel about the record now so many years later?

NS: I still think it’s a fun record. I couldn’t write that record without having been in that place and time with those guys. When you are in a band it’s total compromise of visions that everyone else has for what it should be. At the time I was dying to move on and do my own thing and I think the other guys too wanted to eventually branch out and do their own things without compromise. But looking back that experience and hearing it now, I get why people have latched onto it as kind of a cult record.

I think we weren’t idiots or anything, we said some things and had some ideas that were very poetically stated. I think that is why the whole Catcher In The Rye thing works so well for this release, it’s connection to a book about lost innocence and it’s a record about exactly that from three perspectives. From Frank the teenager who just had his heart ripped out by his first big love. Hambone’s quiet reflection on his younger years in songs like Florida Plates (which by the way is supposed to be about two kids with their parents on vacation who meet on the Jersey Shore) or Lloyd Dobbler which is specifically about getting friend zoned by that love that you are willing to stick around for even if it’s unrequited. And me, I was just dumped by my 2nd girlfriend, a love of my life and wrote from that perspective of nothing is ever going to work out whether you are a young or old. That record was one giant therapy session and seriously it’s so honest, genuine and heartfelt and that’s why people still listen to it. At least that’s what I hope.

MCF: How did you guys make the decision to re-release the record?

NS: If you listen to Casual Interactions I think Hambone made it clear he really wanted to have it out there again as it was one of the major things he contributed to in his music career. I think we just had this unwritten rule that we all had to agree if we were going to do anything with it for the future. Well it just kind of all finally worked out and we all agreed on how and when to get it all back out there.

MCF: Are you surprised at the response Pencey Prep still gets 20 years later?

NS: I do feel like the album does feel like that era, so I am surprised that people are still listening this much to it. But to me it also feels classic and it’s like opening up a photo album to summer of 2000. It’s nostalgia and with things like Spotify I’m glad a whole new generation gets to hear it and hop in that time machine with us.

MCF: What are you up to currently?

NS: Fairmont is the band I have been doing since the day I left Pencey Prep, 20 years this August. We have 11 albums, a bunch of EP’s and a bunch of compilation tracks. Pretty much the acoustic demos on the first Fairmont album were all in the running to be Pencey Prep songs, except the songs that are about Pencey Prep. We’re working on a Retrospective of the last 10 years for release later this year.

In 2007 I started Mint 400 Records to release Fairmont’s albums and it’s grown from there to over 370 releases and over 100 bands on our roster. That’s mostly what I focus on currently. I produce a bunch of the bands on the label, do album art and edit and direct videos, so the label keeps me busy.

My art is available on instagram @nsabatinoart and I’m available for hire for illustration and graphic design.

Aside from that I’m a special education Art and Graphic Design teacher with two daughters, a wife and dog.

© La Mantia & Potenza 2021

[saucylittlesmile]

Please post your reflections on the podcast! Love to hear your thoughts always

Finally finished listening late last night so this is train of thought but also just whatever I remember lol.

as always the host spoke a little too much for me, to the point where sometimes I thought T would have spoken or said more, but was too polite to interrupt and then they moved on. On the other hand, perhaps the more conversational interview is what lets T open up more, who knows lol.

I’ve always defended Tessa’s social media presence and am glad she didn’t try to pawn off her choices on her partners; if she has chosen to do something for a cause I don’t necessarily think she needs to post about it online but it’s a weird grey area that she occupies in which she is a minor celebrity and there tends to be expectations on her to post about important topics (even though she will then be accused of being performative). Shantelle’s defence however was awful.

Tessa talking about how she doesn’t relate food with how she feels/her ability to compete or perform - she used to push past incredible pain to compete so I guess that she just won’t give herself any excuses. Guess it’s good she had dieticians telling her what to eat lol.

I think time is messed up for T too since as far as I know, her dad remarried a number of years ago, but then time has no meaning for a while and I suppose it’s recent relative to how long her parents were married

the revelation of how she found out is just terrible; you’d think he could have at least let her know in an informational way if not a personal one

’stubborn about things that matter’ vs stubborn in general… just an interesting distinction

because I saw the trending articles before hearing the rest of the podcast and due to one of those articles, I kept wondering when she would reveal they met in Vancouver (spoiler alert: didn’t happen lol)

the kissing question was either a very strange segue or a (personally) awkward question; didn’t like it either way lol; I don’t know what Tessa’s plan was to acknowledge the engagement; she seemed to be going for low-key and Shantelle was the one grabbing her hand; I did find that the car honking interrupting was amusing just from a timing perspective, and then Tessa’s very short answer about how they met which was a clear lockdown on any further questions.

Tessa (and Scott) may say they love 2014’s Olympics and I believe them. They may say that they are as proud of their silver medals as their gold and I believe them. But when they say the judging was fair and DW had a better skate, I do not believe them lol. ;)

I must admit I was wondering what coach Scott was seeing for him to bring up surviving the fs environment due to Kate’s conversations with them (me thinking back to Kate and Alma agreeing that at least one of them would always attend a comp when VM were starting on that competitive circuit… they were clearly aware of some of the dangerous pitfalls of that world and trying to keep VM as safe as possible)

I appreciated both the honesty - no not going to skate again, better to gave gone out on top and not willing to put in the energy to train into shape for even shows - and yet I loved the pause as she thought through the what if Scott did call with an interesting offer lol

eta: oh I forgot my favourite thing lol! loved hearing her talk about the joy she felt skating in the comeback - made me remember how I felt watching them skate and how different it all seemed from earlier - and wanting that loving relationship with MF-P ❤️

[mcgnussen]

Hi I have a stupid question, and I hope you can help me. So I see a lot of hate for Haas, Guenther and Gene on social media, but I don't really understand why. Sure there have been some issues in the team with Mick, bit I haven't seen anything out of line or malicious.

I've mostly seen Mick fans wish destruction on Haas and their team principal, but no real reason as to why. But my understanding is also that there is a lot of bad press from sky Germany on Haas, to the point of spreading false information to their viewers on the treatment of Mick and Kevin at Haas, eg. The recent qualifying were they said that Kevin godt slick tires before Mick, so it had to be debunked by Twitter.

Maybe I'm just reaching, but I just don't understand the need to harass a team that essentially gave Mick his first seasons at f1 and might even continue to do so.

thank you for your question! i was debating whether to make a post about it, but i really like your question, so i will use this to make the post. below is my full answer to this. i will tag mick since it's relevant but be advised, it might not be the most pleasant reading for hardcore mick fans.

long story short: haas is a no bullshit team, guenther is a very warm but also brutally honest man who expects the best from you. he has a temper. but this has been the case since 2016 with every driver the team has had. if you mess up, he will tell you. if you do a good job, he will also tell you. i know kevin appreciates this because as he says "you know where you have him", which is a stark contrast to other team principals who will tell you one thing only to suddenly stab you in the back.

i think some mick fans misunderstand guenther. because he is so honest, sometimes to a fault, they believe other teams would not treat mick the same. i can assure you other teams would likely do something even worse, which would be that they would praise mick and then drop him without much warning. personally, i would like to know where i can improve and be quite clear about my chances to keep my seat.

one of the biggest reasons kevin accepted the haas seat was because of guenther. they work well together and they understand each other. kevin has said multiple times that guenther cares a lot about all the employees and that he knows everything about everyone but in a good way. he will talk the same way to you, no matter if you are part of the cleaning staff, an engineer or a driver. guenther is not a horrible person, he is not mean. he is honest with a temper. he can say some brutal stuff in the heat of the moment, but he will always apologise for it afterwards.

i personally believe haas is no place for rookies - and i think that's alright. mick and m*zepin were their first rookies, and i think they will be their last. guenther wants people to perform immediately. which is totally fine, but not something that can be expected of rookies.

i will also say haas has been getting some unnecessary flack from mick stans. every time he does not do well, they blame it on strategy. sometimes mick doesn't get the job done, and other times the car just does not have the pace, many times it's also down to bad luck. but i understand why it can be easier to just blame the team instead of the circumstances.

haas is a small team, they have always struggled a little with strategy, it happens to both of their drivers. they make mistakes, it's annoying and frustrating, but that comes with being a small team. mick has mainly been in prema before this, a large team in the respective feeder series, so i think his fans have gotten quite a shock seeing the reality of what it is like being a driver for a small team in f1.

during the start of summer i believe, sky germany basically did an interview with guenther where they forced him to comment on mick's performance despite him not wanting to. they really went over the line in that interview and guenther got angry and then finally said his opinion about mick. this was earlier on in the year where mick was not good, so of course, he could not say positive things. he did not say anything horrible, just that they were not happy with mick crashing that much, and then all the mick stans ran with that and made it seem like guenther bullied mick. since then, it's just been non-stop both from the stans and guenther & gene. sky germany opened a can of worms that day, which probably has not been in mick's favour.

should guenther and gene have said some of the things they did publicly? probably not. have the media and fans been absolutely hounding them about mick at any given opportunity? yes. were the things guenther & gene said false? no. mick has cost the team a lot of money due to crashing, money haas cannot afford to spend on repairs when they needed to develop the car. mick's crashes caused a bottleneck to happen at the factory which delayed their upgrades, so they have had very real consequences. mick has cost haas close to 5 million dollars by crashing all on his own, kevin has cost them close to 400k. there is a huge difference there. mick also topped the sheet of most expensive damage done last year, so it's not a one-off, which is what seems to concern haas the most.

and i know, haas has cost him some points, but haas has also cost kevin plenty of points and he has still managed to get points in 9 races compared to mick getting points in 2 races. and kevin has even suffered more mechanical dnfs than mick during the season. and he would maybe have scored points at interlagos, but unfortunately, daniel ruined all chances of that.

some mick stans went way too far on social media, they even went so far that the admin several times put them in their place. like haas has not been allowed to make a single post about kevin without comments like the one you see below. haas is much more than mick schumacher. they were a team before him - and they will be a team after him. no driver is bigger than the team. mick stans have really pushed the narrative that haas never praise him, which is just not true, as can easily be proved by reading the race reports they do after the races. guenther even highlighted mick's great performance in the sprint despite the interviewer only asking about kevin.

and then there have been all the posts about them favouring kevin, which has just been such bullshit. as you pointed out, they even lied about kevin getting pulled in first to get slicks on during the qualification. haas favours the driver most likely to get points. there have been plenty of times when mick has been called in to pit first and where it has benefitted him. and it has been fair because he was ahead at the time, one of the times it even cost kevin points, but he did not complain about it even once. the mick stans have criticised haas for playing it too safe, for being too risky, for splitting the strategy etc. despite all these things being normal in a team. i think the best example of this was austin. kevin drove almost 40 laps on tyres that were supposed to last 20 laps, he was the only one of the twenty drivers to do this. it was an insane strategy that should not have worked. mick was on the strategy with the most probability of working. and yet some mick stans absolutely tore haas to shreds over it, saying they favoured kevin, but if kevin's plan had failed (yes, he was the one who came up with it) then mick fans would have been pleased. but this is the thing, no one can predict everything in formula 1. haas as a team has been so fucking unlucky, it's actually been almost comical, and of course, this has also affected kevin and mick. it's a shame but it's not the fault of haas that they have been screwed by a safety car 5 times this season, it's out of their hands. as i said, haas has made mistakes, but both drivers have suffered because of it.

and finally, no driver is owed anything by f1 teams. this sport is brutal. if you want proof of that, go read up on kevin's time in mclaren. believe me, it will show you just how merciless f1 is. but in the end, it is the team who pays them wages, the team who gives them a rare opportunity in f1, and the team who suffers from the mistakes they make. we can have opinions about the drivers, but we cannot say haas owe a driver a seat. they are allowed to choose whoever they want to fill their seats. do i think mick is a good driver? yes, i do. he has really improved throughout the season and i believe he will probably find his way back into f1 at some point. but he is not the right fit for haas and i'm pretty sure they will announce that he will be replaced by hulkenberg. and i am sad as i will miss kevin and mick being buddies. i doubt he will have as much fun with nico, but i will not miss all the undeserved hate towards haas and kevin.

[arizona-mary-jo]

Say Her Name, Breonna Taylor: Protests that inspired a community

Walking around Louisville Ky, you could see her everywhere. Everyone knew the name Breonna Taylor there. I would often go to the extreme skatepark nearly everyday in 2020. Wanted posted of police officers would be pasted on the outside, faces I’ve come to know very well to where I can describe them with my eyes closed. Murals and political statements where everywhere you gave attention to them. A community of artists coming together, and of people who heard this story and felt the pain all will never forget her name. Protests began middle of May 2020 after news of what had happened became more well-known and spread like wildfire. People who could have come from anywhere all came together and gathered in places such as in front of Louisville’s town hall and posted in front of the LMPD station to chant out her name. “Say her name, Breonna Taylor” and “No justice no peace, prosecute the police” are two of the most famous lines I remember shouting with hundreds of others. A community formed after it came out in the local newspaper 2 months after, that Breonna Taylor suffered a tragic murder at the hands of the Louisville Metro Police Department.

Breonna Taylor born June 5th, 1993, in Grand Rapids Michigan, served others as an EMT and showed great pride in taking care of others who needed it. Well respected in her line of work and loved by all her family. She lived to be the age of 26. It didn’t take much but a rumor and one lie to set the events in motion that made her time short. On March 13th, 2020, at 12:43am, LMPD preformed a no-knock warrant on the home address of Breonna Taylor seeking an individual involved with the mass sell of narcotics. The suspect lived 10 miles away and had only briefly dated Breonna Taylor in the past, as stated in a New York Times video from December 28th, 2020, How the Police Killed Breonna Taylor. At the time of the raid, the suspect had been long out of her life and was also already arrested. Due to poor communication and negligence, Officers and former detectives Jaynes, Goodlett and Meany had knowingly submitted an affidavit containing falsified information stating “that an officer had witnessed the suspect going to the home and leaving with a package believed to have narcotics” and other false information that they “questioned the local post office to confirm he packages going to the home of Breonna Taylor” which was later proven to be false by the postal office in question.

The night of the raid, 7 officers went to the home of Breonna Taylor, and banged on their front door. In a CBS interview, the then current boyfriend of Breonna Taylor who was at the home at the time of the raid, states Breonna was falling asleep while watching and movie and sprung up from bed after hearing the banging and followed it up by yelling “who’s there!” over and over with no answer being heard. Boyfriend Kenneth Walker grabbed his gun to protect himself from what he believed to be a dangerous intruder. After the door had been busted down, Walker aimed low to fire a shot, and was met with a barrage of 32 rounds riddled in theirs and neighboring apartments, 6 making contact with Breonna Taylor. After dust had settled, Walker had called 911 while holding Breonna, stating that “someone broke in and shot his girlfriend”, this showing he did not know they were the police as he would have not called the police on them. Some moments after the call, he heard voices outside believing it to be EMT and police to help his girlfriend, but was soon face to face with shouting police, dogs, and guns pointed at him. He was aggressively arrested, and met with coldness from the police, showing no concern for Breonna’s condition as EMTs did not arrive until 30 minutes after the start of the raid. From this aggression for only a few moments later having officers tell him there was a miscommunication and letting him roam without handcuffs around the police station. Later neighbors acting as witnesses to the raid claimed the police never announced themselves as law enforcement before the barrage to bullets. Days after the raid was when Walker found out about Breonna passing by hearing it on the news, leaving her nameless. The police department tried to convict Walker of attempted murder to a police officer, later dismissed. December 28th, 2020, it was announced that the officers would not be charged for the murder of Breonna Taylor.

Uproars of protesters gathered every day in many different locations to exercise their right to peacefully assemble, as shown by large protester picket signs written with the amendment to peaceably assemble. This sparked the entire community to wake up and take notice, leading people to learn more about all the people who have suffered the same fate. Posters of numerous different people who all suffered like Breonna Taylor and George Floyd. This was important to my community and my life as it has shown me so many more people just like me and my community the truth about roles is systemic oppression. People forming groups to create buttons and posters of so many people who suffered to be spread to protesters in the community. Organizations and lawyers providing food and drinks for people protesting in solidarity and supported by BLM. The fight will continue, shown it started long ago.

After 874 days of waiting for women of color to finally see justice, Goodlett had publicly come out and admitted to conspiring with Jaynes about falsifying documents and misleading the state and federal police on the case of Breonna Taylor. All 3 officers are to be charged with conspiracy and officer Hankinson charged with endangering the lives of the neighboring apartments. Only the start of the justice the community still seeks.

Works Cited

·      O’Donell, L., “Kenneth Waler remembers Breonna Taylor as his ‘best friend’” on CBS This Morning. 13th October 2020.

/https://www.cbsnews.com/video/kenneth-walker-remembers-breonna-taylor-as-his-best-friend/

·      O’Donell, L., “Breonna Taylors boyfriend Kenneth Walker details the night of her death in an exclusive interview” on CBS This Morning YouTube Channel. 14th October 2020.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOEOKc_q4e8&t=5s

·      New York Times “How the police killed Breonna Taylor” on New York Times YouTube 28th December 2020.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDaNU7yDnsc&t=9s

·      Becket, S., Legare, R., “Justice Department charges 4 Louisville police officers connected to Breonna Taylor killing” on CBS news website.

https://www.cbsnews.com/dfw/news/breonna-taylor-4-louisville-police-officers-charged-justice-department/?intcid=CNM-00-10abd1h

·      McAllister, S., WHAS11 Focus Team, “Timeline: what we know the night Breonna Taylor Died” on WHAS11 YouTube 4th August 2022.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-lmunO6Om8&t=3s

[namor-shuri]

I have been seeing a lot of responses to the recent NAACP award events + award season at large ranging from “Where is Letitia Wright? She isn’t showing up and that’s a bad look!” to “Why is Tish getting robbed all award season? Where are her flowers?” and everything in between.

Similar to many people, I have my personal disappointments and projections of what I assume is happening. We can all speculate till our lungs collapse on what’s going on in media and celebrities lives + their overall choices but at the end of the day, there is always more to the story than the 10% curated glimpse we receive. Here’s what I know that brings me comfort:

1. Letitia Wright stepped up to the plate and gave her performance in Black Panther: Wakanda Forever as both Princess Shuri and Black Panther her all: Letitia clearly had to go through a lot to prepare for this role. We learn of this arduous undertaking through behind the scene stories, bpwf press tour interviews, bpwf podcast episodes and much more. She not only pushed herself physically through training and her on set accident, but mentally with her loss and a plethora of other reasons she has expressed on camera. Something like this changes a person and I truly believe this pushed Letitia to breakdown and eventually breakthrough, not only as an artist but as a woman. No one can take that away from her and I know because of this transformation, her future endeavors will benefit tremendously from it.

2. The definition of what success is is different for everyone + accolades are not a true measure of success: We all have our own ideas of what success looks like. To one person, it may look like becoming the first millionaire in their family. To another, it looks like making it through another year sober and still being alive today. I don’t know what Letitia Wright’s definition of success is for herself. As someone who can only be a fan/spectator to her career, I may assume it is her winning 10+ awards for her role in bpwf. Meanwhile for Letitia, it may look like her simply paying tribute to Chadwick and leaving it all on the stage in the process. We don’t know. What others say about you, how others award or dismiss you, is all external which ultimately doesn’t tell you anything about yourself or your worth. If an actor solely cared about the results or lure of accolades to their endeavors, they wouldn’t last very long. The film industry (along with the majority of industries within the art world at large) is a very unpredictable career path. You can’t live for the external “attaboys” because they come few and far in between. You have to ask yourself “What is my why? What am I doing this all for? What is keeping me going?” The answers to these questions is the motivator that gets you through hardships, low moments in time, rejections, etc. Don’t get me wrong; shiny awards, fancy events, pretty compliments and speeches are all very exciting and can be extremely validating! But these moments are unfortunately short lived. You can’t hang your entire life on these fleeting moments that come (if you are lucky) multiple times out of your entire career. You have to find fulfilling ways to award yourself along the journey, especially when the external award is never promised to you.

3. You can’t rush a cake while it’s baking in the oven: Everything and everyone needs time to grow. We go through situations, fuck up, scrape our knee, get back up, learn and try again. This revolving phenomenon brings us to where we need to go and who we need to be. We’ve heard the saying “You can’t rush greatness!” and I believe there’s truth to that. It can be dangerous to be pushed into a higher capacity prematurely. Come into fame way too soon. Get that job that you are completely unqualified for. Get thrown into the deep end of a pool before you can even stay afloat. And sometimes life throws us these huge curve balls where we are called to rise to the occasion in ways we don’t know how to yet. These scary moments show us how far we are able to be pushed outside of our limits. She is an amazing actor but like anything else, talent takes refinement. Quality takes time. Oprah wasn’t Oprah yet when she was starting off. She had to slowly come into herself and earn her stripes along the way first. I personally think with the commotion of bpwf (and the overall franchise), Letitia Wright is at a crucial point in her career right now. One move can be defining. But I also believe that no one decision can make or break us. We have room to stretch and figure things out. She has such a promising and fruitful career ahead of her to navigate and sink her teeth into. This perceived award snub time period is not an end all be all. This isn’t a loss, it’s just one chapter in her overall book. And I hope that she continues to make the most of her gifts and what she can bring to the table. Continue to show us, and more importantly, show herself what she is capable of.

I'm so happy for Angela getting her flowers (and my bb Tenoch as well 💓) but I also can't help but be sad and resentful that Letitia's beautiful performance is being largely ignored by critics, some fans, and her peers.

She's so talented though it's only a matter of time before she can't be ignored.