#i think now that im thawing i can finally cry out all of those tears ive been freezing up

[nameissmile]

(I think I don't like being cold. I always have you know? I liked it because that was all I knew, it let me do whatever I want whenever I want. Maybe it was easy to love because it seemed into my bones in a way that felt permanent and solid, much more than any flimsy warmth could. The cold was easy to love because it bent to my whim, and made me feel normal. The funny thing is though, I've been getting non-stop heat advisory's, and yet Germany always felt warmer. I thought I hated warmth because it made me sweat, want to run away and cool down again, it seemed into my bones as well and made me relax in a way that was unheard of within the boundaries of the cold. The cold stiffened me to my core, made me breath out puffs of smoke, preserved me so that I would crystalline and perfect for anyone who came along. The heat relaxed me, laid me down in a pile of downy feather and forced me to rot, to change, to die, and from that death grow new plants from seeds.sown long ago. Germany was always warmer because of the people who were there knew that even If I could survive the cold, I could never thrive within it. And I don't think I ever would have noticed.)

[pinkchannies]

cheesier than cheesecake

i got inspired to write this on my 5 hours flight to hong kong bcz i ate cake on my way to the airport and miraculously wrote this on my flight in one go

also heading to hong kong eh wink wink nudge nudge @ agust d //slapped

well here's a jin oneshot because kim seokjin is my number one man and bias in bts and we need some shoulder man love in our lives amirite

laksndowxjoe i couldn't post this earlier bECAUSE WIFI AND MY COM WASN'T COOPERATING :(( sob well ok here i am posting it now LMAO bless wifi pls live

genre:  fluff , is this considered comedy, crack has slipped into this fic again

requested:  no 

pairing:  seokjin x reader

author notes: reader is a baking/walking disaster bcz mood, jin screaming and being a mama hen, idk how i wrote this in just one flight, chiru probably needs creative writing classes at this point, how do you come up with good titles

----------

the clock read, 2.09am. i groaned. it was one of those days again. or rather, one of those nights. of grueling hunger and cravings. and there was one way to solve it(or make it worse) without actually eating. though it may not be the best way. do u kno da wae-chiru get out i snatched my phone from my bedside table and loaded instagram, heading straight to the buzzfeedtasty instagram account. yes, tasty. the number one guilty pleasure where their food looks so good even with the simplest ingrediants, and when you recreate it it somehow looks like shit. or maybe i'm just a shitty cook. or maybe plating food to make it look aesthetically pleasing is just that difficult. or maybe both. to "satisfy" this sudden craving for sweets, i started watching videos of their deserts. god help me they look so good. the way the cream cheese blends with sugar and turns into a smooth white paste under the electric mixer, with heavy cream added to that mix and that generous teaspoon of vanilla essence that you can literally smell (jin: mMMMm sMELL) through your phone, those cheesecakes and oreos and cream and just all that fattening goodness- y'all this whole instagram account is straight up porn. i already feel fat just by watching these videos. but i'm still hungry af. the struggle is hella real who else can relate "ughhhhhh i wanna bake these godlike creations but i'm scared that i'll accidentally blow up my kitchen..." i groaned into my pillow. yeah, i’m a bit of a walking disaster, luckily i haven't reached namjoon's level. i think. one time my cookies almost turned out spicy because i was cooking spicy noodles at the same time. please don't ask. someone please just buy me a huge cheesecake to binge eat whilst i cry over my bad life decisions, one of which would be eating a whole 1542 calorie cheesecake at the asscrack of dawn. an imaginary or rather, imajinary-chiru stob light bulb went off from my head. there was one man made for this situation. one shoulder man, to be exact. i clicked on the contact "worldwide shoulders" and started typing.

(y/n) 2.30am

shoulder man take me by the hand lead me to the land that u understand

worldwide shoulders 2.35am

ya, its like 2.30am, shouldn't you be asleep? don't make me confiscate your phone

(y/n) 2.35am

sorry mom

worldwide shoulders 2.36am

yA tHIs chILd what's up, u usually don't text this late

(y/n) 2.37am

r u free tmr i wanna bake cheesecake pretty please

worldwide shoulders 2.38am

what a *cheesy* date if i do say so myself

(y/n) 2.38am

jIN its too early for puns :(

worldwide shoulders 2.39am

excuse you my puns are jinius

(y/n) 2.39am

SO cAN U BAKE WITH ME TMR :((( well actually it’ll be later today pls i owe u one

worldwide shoulders 2.40am

fine make sure u have the stuff ready, i'll come over at 10 go sleep its late

(y/n) 2.41am

yAY THANKS JINNIE

worldwide shoulders 2.41am

EXCUSE ME I AM OLDER THAN U (y/n) 2.42am :p see u tmr!! gnite shoulder man *finger heartu* worldwide shoulders 2.43am the disrespect i swear ----- "jin this is too tiring..." i groaned, my arms aching. "just a little bit more... just beat it harder." "look, must i really use my hands for this?" i whined. jin deadpanned. "(y/n) it's becoming white already, just continue. you wanted me to teach you right?" "why the hell can't i just use the electric mixer for the egg whites? its much faster than hand beating it..." i grumbled. "this is as good as doing 240 push-ups like jungkook," i whined. "my child there will be no shortcuts in this house when it comes to baking or cooking," i snorted at that. says the one who uses seasoning in his food. i mean, who doesn't? "i guess we can say that the cake will be eggcellent." he let out a windshield-wiper laugh at his own joke while i groaned at the terrible pun. "jin pls." ----- "DON'T CHOP THE BUTTER LIKE THAT OHMY GOD (Y/N) YOU'RE GOING TO CHOP YOUR HAND OFF LIKE THAT NO YOU'RE WORSE THAN NAMJOON SLICING ONIONS." jin shrieked at my horrible attempt to slice the frozen solid butter. i had forgotten to take the butter out to thaw, so now i had to face the consequences. of slicing, no, chopping, through rock solid butter that is stubborn about becoming smaller pieces. go me

he sighed and went behind me, his larger frame engulfing mine as he positioned my hand to hold the knife properly. "rest your index on top of the blade and your thumb and middle on its sides. this way, you'll have a better grip on the knife. and it reduces the chances of the knife slipping and chopping your finger off." he guides my fingers to hold the knife, while rambling on the precautions to take-which entered one ear and left the other. how am i supposed to concentrate when i've never been in this close proximity with the man until this moment? gosh he was warm and it feels real cozy, his chin gently resting on my shoulder to oversee the process, his larger hand on my smaller one guiding me to chop the butter. how domestic, i chuckled at the thought. i wonder how his hand would look like with his fingers entwined with mine- -which is what i did with the hand unoccupied by the knife. without me even registering it, i grabbed his free hand. our hands were clasped together and our fingers were tangled with each other. “omg (y/n) what are you doing” i screamed in my brain. do y’all ever just get intrusive thoughts like this and regret everything leading up to this moment. jin gave me a quizzical look that screamed "what are you doing." ok but same jin, same. well this turned awkward. in my panic, i let go of his hand. and the knife. good job, (y/n). "OH MY GOD LOOK OUT" jin yelled for what must be the 182297318th time today at my screw up and pulled me away from the knife which fell to the floor with a clang. i was pressed flushed against his chest as he pulled my body closer to his, almost as if we were snuggling. except that now is not really the time to snuggle with the situation at hand. thankfully the knife didn’t hurt any of us, but i knew, i was in deep shit with jin. i mentally braced myself for the lecture i was going to get. oh boy this is going to be ugly. "look (y/n), i dont care if you cant cook for shit." his face was starting to turn red from the incoming rant, and i had to stifle a giggle at that. there was always something amusing about jin scolding-maybe it comes from the fact that even if the mood is serious, he still wants to make everyone laugh and doesn’t want an atmosphere too damp. so his scolding just somehow turns comical. i bit down on my bottom lip harshly to stop the giggles, lest the lecture becomes longer. "but you are handling something sharp, please be careful." "i understand." i sighed. "look if i'm not here, you could have been seriously injured, you can't just play while handling knives. luckily i was around and could pull you away before it landed on your feet and cause you to internally bleed in your toe. do you even know how nasty it looks to have that black blood clot under your nail?" i nodded sheepishly. "loOK, WHAT IF YOU WERE ALONE? YOU COULD HAVE BLED TO DEATH AND THEN I WOULD NEED TO HAUL YOUR ASS TO THE HOSPITAL WHICH WOULD NOT END WELL MAJOR BLOOD LOSS IS NOT A FUN THING OK YOU NEED BLOOD TRANSFUSION SO PLEASE BE CAREFUL WITH THE KNIFE DONT BE A SECOND NAMJOON." "yes mom." "excuse you i am not your mother." "alright you're excused mr worldwide handsome... mom." "YA THIS BRAT." ----- thankfully, that was the only major incident-or as the drama queen puts it, life threatening incident-that happened while baking the cheesecake. after 2 hours of screaming together and jin telling me how to carry out baking procedures properly, we finally put the cake together. "jin, she's beautiful." i shed a fake tear at our finished product. fake tear-fake love tear-chiru why are you so lame "yeah, but im more beautiful amirite." ".....you're inedible so obviously the cheesecake is prettier than you." he looked at me with a mock look of offense and i giggled at that. "well at least my face doesn't need to be caked with makeup to look good." "jin, why are you so lame." just like me "hey at least i'm still walking." "oh my god." "i mean that's not my name, but god's also a good name for someone as handsome as me." "........i give up." there was a tense moment of pregnant silence that settled between us. suddenly, we both burst out laughing at our ridiculous banter filled with bad puns, courtesy of jin. "let's eat the cheesecake, shall we?"

[cartoonishlullaby]

A Midwinter’s Night

Hey guys Im writing a Winter Snow fanfic, it was originally gonna be a oneshot but now I’m thinking I might continue it. 

Also before you read this, I’d suggest reading this headcanon post first if you haven't already, it provides some important backstory to this fic.

 From the day they met, it was destiny. The chilly and sweet-talking snow sprite who carried out winter storms from his ice castle somewhere in the north, and the once terrifying, cold-hearted warlock who was now quite a kind and agreeable creature. They were kindred spirits, I’ve heard people say. And it all started one cold midwinter’s night.

Never did Winter know that one day someone would let light back into his life, that someone being Kris Kringle himself. He remembered feeling years of darkness fall away with a single act of kindness. It was only a toy, a small gift, but to have someone actually think of him? Someone who still saw the good in him when even he had stopped believing in it himself? He hadn’t known how to feel. But he felt the warmth in his heart melting away the icy curse he had placed upon himself all those years ago. Maybe it really was time to change.

 But he was far from healed. His heart may have thawed, but it was still scarred. No magic in the world could change that. He kept it well hidden, but ever since his reformation he began to remember things.

 One night while he was lying asleep in his bed, he saw it once more. That night, that horrible night, when they came after him. He was only trying to help, he was only trying to save them, they didn’t listen, they didn’t listen, nobody would help him— 

 He woke up sobbing, burying his face in his pillow. He was too old for this, he knew it. But the last time he had a working heart he was practically a child. He had a lot of feeling to catch up on. 

Owning a heart certainly had its burdens. 

 One day Kris, or, Santa Claus, as he was now called, had invited Winter over to his house. Upon arrival, Kris told him, “Mr. Warlock, there’s someone we’d like you to meet.” 

 “Winter, please.” He said, but he knew at this point his old friend was never going to learn. 

 Kris continued, “My friend, the Snow Miser is coming to visit us today, er, by any chance have you heard of him?”

“No, I can’t say I have. Who is he?” 

“Oh he’s a real magic man, that one. He controls all the weather up here!” 

 “Well I think I do a fine job making it snow on my own.” 

“Well sure you do, Mr. Warlock, but wouldn’t it be nice to have some help?”

Winter didn’t get a chance to respond. Suddenly the loud BANG of someone kicking the door open rang out through the house. “Good heavens Snowy!” shouted Mrs. Claus, as she headed over to greet their newest guest. A tall man with icy white hair, a long pointy nose and kind, sparkling eyes entered the room. “Pardon me, I do like to make an entrance,” he chuckled, then bowed to kiss Mrs. Claus’ hand. Then, catching sight of Winter he exclaimed, “And who is this! You must be someone new, I never forget a face.” He went to shake Winter’s hand. 

 “I’m known as the Winter Warlock, but please, call me Winter.” 

 “Winter! Got it! Nice name!” And he smiled. He had a winning smile, the kind that gave you a certain confidence in yourself, that you didn’t get from other people. 

“Thank you!”

“So tell me about yourself, Winter? What brings you here?” 

“Well, Santa and the Missus wanted me to meet you.”

“Oh, I’m flattered! I just love meeting new people.” 

Kris turns to Mrs. Claus at this. “They seem to be hitting it off well,” he smirked.

Snow Miser at this point had retired to a nearby couch, and was prompting Winter to sit down beside him. Winter obliged.

“So what is it you do, Winter?” Snow Miser asked. 

“Well, I’m sort of a magician, you see.” 

 Snow Miser’s eyes widened. “What a coincidence! Me too! I thought I sensed it in you! Y’know, I can turn things to snow with the touch of my hand!” (upon overhearing this, Jessica had her fingers crossed that he wouldn't sing the song) “And I have a great, magical ice castle back home, with the equipment to do all kinds of neat stuff, I can send out a blizzard to anywhere in the world in no time!” 

 Winter sighed. “That’s fascinating, really, but does it ever get lonely, being all alone in that castle all day?” 

 Snow Miser paused. And for a moment, the fast talking entertainer was gone, and someone far more realistic, more vulnerable was sitting there on the couch. “Well I have my minions, but.. yes, I suppose it does get lonely. Sometimes I wish I had someone to share it with.” 

 Then he perked up. “But sometime you should come visit! It’s a wonderful place, really!” 

“I’d love to,” said Winter. 

“Great!”

 Soon Mrs. Claus called them into the kitchen, because dinner was ready. At the table, Winter and Snow Miser continued to talk, telling stories of the adventures they’d had, Winter narrowly skirting the story of his past, back when his heart was frozen. He said one day he just decided to move to live on the mountain, which was partly true, but he never told why. Santa and Mrs. Claus exchanged looks at this, but said nothing. A man’s past is his business, they supposed.

 Soon it was time for them to leave, but home was an awfully long way away on Snow Miser’s part, and the weather was terrible. While neither Snow Miser nor Winter would have minded the cold at all, it was also pitch black and snow was blowing like nobody’s business, if the cold didn’t bother them, it wouldn’t matter, they’d get lost in the dark. 

The Clauses insisted they spend the night, and Mrs. Claus showed them to the guest room. “There’s only one bed I’m afraid, I hope you two don’t mind, you could probably put a pillow in between yourselves if that would make you more comfortable.”

 Snow Miser brushed it off. “Oh Sugarplum, we’re adults, there’ll be no problem here!” he said, but then he turned to Winter, a look of concern on his face. “You’re not uncomfortable with this are you? If you are I’m sure I could sleep on the couch…” 

“No! It’s no problem at all! And thank you, Jessica, for letting us stay the night.” 

“Yes, thanks a bunch, sugarplum.” 

 “It’s the least I could do. Now sleep well boys.” She said, and closed the door.

 Winter yawned. “Well, we should probably get some sleep.” He crawled into bed. “Goodnight Snowy, it was really nice getting to know you today, I’ll see you in the morning.”

Snow Miser’s face lit up. “Hey, you called me Snowy! I like that. Did you get that from Jessica?” 

“Oh, well I suppose I might’ve picked it up from her tonight.” 

 “...It’s cute, coming from you.” 

 Winter froze. Snow Miser just smiled at him, then turned away to go to sleep, so he did the same. 

 But it wouldn’t last. The awful thing about dreams is that you can’t decide when to have them, what they’re about, or who is there when you have them. Oh how Winter had hoped for only pleasant dreams that night, or even a dreamless sleep, but that simply was not to be. 

 And he was seventeen again, in his old hometown again, and they were chasing him again, and they were dragging him through the streets, and he wanted them to let go, he was fighting them, and begging them to listen,, and then— 

 And then he was at the front porch of a house. He knew exactly what house too. It had been his last hope. This time he didn’t want to go to the door, he wanted to run away, he couldn’t take it again, but the dream wouldn’t let him, it had to play out every memory.

He saw his fists banging at the door. He heard his voice cry out to one particular resident of the house. “Joseph! Joseph it’s me! Open the door!”

Joseph answered the door, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and gazed right past the frantic mess on his front step in horror at the oncoming mob. He then looked Winter straight in the eyes, who at this point pleaded to be let inside, for Joseph to take him away somewhere, to please protect him, he was scared, more scared than he’d ever been before, but Joseph just shoved him backwards into the snow.

“Joseph?”

“Get away from me. My god, what have you done now?”

“I was only trying to save them, they won’t listen, please let’s run away now. We can start over!”

“There’s no way I’ll do that! They’ve already seen me! They’ll have me dead by morning! And it’s all because of you! For your own good, you should get out of my sight. You’ve gone too far this time.”

“Joseph please, listen, the whole town is about to be attacked!”

“You sent someone to attack our town? You really are a mean and despicable creature, aren’t you.”

“No!! No... I didn’t... I’m trying to stop them, I—“

And then he was on his feet, running through empty streets with the mob on his tail, tears streaming down his cheeks, in air so cold he was sure they’d freeze to his face. Joseph didn’t care about him, nobody did, he should’ve known, he was so stupid, he was… he was… 

 He felt someone shaking him frantically. 

 “Winter?”

 He opened his eyes. He was back in bed, a worried Snow Miser leaning over him, the room glowing a pale red from the shade of the wallpaper. 

 “Oh, you’re okay, when you started screaming I was so worried!” 

“Was I screaming?” 

 “You sure were. It didn’t make any sense, but it sounded like something terrible was happening to you.” He paused. “Have a bad dream?” 

 “Yes. I’m afraid I have a lot of bad dreams these days.” Winter responded, sitting up, his eyes cast down to the blankets. 

“Mind telling me about it? You don’t have to, but you know, sometimes it helps to talk it out.” 

 And there was something so much more intimate in that room, in the silent hum of nighttime. Finally, it seemed, the storm outside had let up, and it was just the two of them. While Winter hadn’t felt comfortable sharing at the dinner table, he felt now things were different. He trusted Snowy, even though they had only just met, and Snowy put on an air around most people, he knew deep down he was more than all that. After all he was the first person Winter ever met who called him by the name he wanted to be called. That said a lot about someone, he thought. 

 So he told him everything. About his childhood, about learning magic in secret, about Joseph, about being lied to, about the night everything went wrong, about being betrayed by his entire town and the one he loved most. By the end of it, he was crying again, and Snowy hugged him tight, and didn’t let go. 

 He then spoke in hushed tones. “Oh, Winter, sugarplum, I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve any of that, you hear me? In fact, your good-for-nothing hometown never deserved someone as wonderful as you.” 

 It felt so nice just to be held. He didn’t realize how much he had missed this. “Well it was my fault for being dumb enough to trust him.” 

“Don’t you believe that for a second. I think we should live in a world where people who love each other can trust one another, don’t you think?” 

 “I do think that, but the world isn’t like that, Snowy.” 

“Maybe we can make it like that, then.” 

 Winter turned his head, a little confused by the implications of that statement. “What do you mean by that?” He asked. 

 “Oh… nothing, I suppose.”

 And perhaps they fell asleep like that, because when Kris peeked in the door to check on them that morning, they were still cradled in each others arms. Kris chuckled to himself. He thought about telling Jessica, but he figured, he’d let all this play out in it’s own time. 

 And for now, they were awfully cute together.