#Fuck All That

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

totally unserious take on a chaggie wedding XD inspired by @tiny-feisty-gay's glorious idea of carmilla giving vaggie away XD XD

Carmilla: "....."

Vaggie: (dressed to get hitched) (half way out a window)

Carmilla: "...am I interrupting?"

Vaggie: "Miss Carmine, uh- No, I was just. Gonna get some air..."

Carmilla: "Two minutes before your wedding."

Vaggie: "That's- that's why I need the air."

Carmilla: "And when you don't return from your 'air getting', what exactly would you like me to say to your heartbroken bride?"

Vaggie: ".... I..."

Carmilla: "Come along." (hooks vaggie by the arm and pulls her casually away from the window) "You can explain it all to me on the way."

Vaggie: "The way- the- the way WHERE?"

Carmilla: "To the wedding arch, where your reformed snake man is waiting to officiate your vows with the princess of hell." (lifts eyebrow) "I did you both a rather large favor by helping your fight against heaven. I am calling in that favor now, and you will allow me to walk you down the aisle."

Vaggie: "Oh no."

Carmilla: "Oh yes."

Vaggie: "Wait." (digging in her heels) (getting dragged anyway) "Wait!"

Carmilla: "Why should I."

Vaggie: "The wedding- I can't."

Carmilla: "Then face her and tell her so."

Vaggie: "That’s not what-"

Carmilla: "Did you ask her to be here today?"

Vaggie: "W-we asked each other..."

Carmilla: "So you at least owe her that much. You can say whatever you like once you reach the arch, but you should at least meet her there. Don't you think?"

Vaggie: "..."

Vaggie: "You're right." (squares shoulders) "You're right- I should. And. I've been practicing the vows for weeks. I should just. Say them."

Carmilla: "Good." (at the doors) "Ready?"

Vaggie: (breathes out) "...ready."

Carmilla: (walks them out the doors and towards the aisle)

Vaggie: "-im not ready im not ready."

Carmilla: "Too late."

Vaggie: (whisper yelling) "Turn left! Left! Left left left!"

Carmilla: "No."

Vaggie: "Miss Carmine- please-"

Carmilla: "No.” (effortless marches vaggie forward) “If you didn't want me interfering with your life then you shouldn't have come asking me for help in the first place."

Vaggie: "I ASKED? I only asked you to teach me how to kill angels!"

Carmilla: "And I only agreed to teach you when you said you were looking to protect those you love. Now I have another lesson for you."

Vaggie: "This isn't the time-"

Carmilla: "Hush. You need to kill the angel in your head."

Vaggie: "The what?"

Carmilla: "The voice screaming at your about worthiness instead of love- kill it. Kill it before it breaks the heart of the woman that you love."

Vaggie: "How can I- but it's not wrong. And it's, me."

Carmilla: "And you are the one she asked to be here. Look. She's waiting for you."

Vaggie: "Charlie..."

Vaggie: “……”

Vaggie: "....she's loves people, e-even when they don't deserve it."

Carmilla: "Your entire hotel is built on proving that a lie. Are you willing to fight for her or not?"

Vaggie: "Yes! With my life, no matter what-"

Carmilla: "Then fight for her. Fight yourself, for her, or you will be the one to hurt her."

Vaggie: "....what if I lose? What I.. if she..."

Carmilla: "You can't be ready to fight a battle if you're not ready to risk losing it. Is her happiness worth that risk to you?"

Vaggie: "More than anything."

Carmilla: (as they reach the arch) (whispering) "Then you are ready."

At the arch

Charlie: "VAGGIE!” (grinning) “H-hi!!!"

Vaggie: (smiling) (melting) "Hey, sweetie." (hesitates) "…one second?"

Charlie: "? Okay!!!!!!"

Vaggie: (turns to Carmilla) "Can I hug you."

Carmilla: "You may."

Vaggie: (hugs her stiffly) "Thank you."

Charlie: (also quickly hugging them both) “I don’t know why exactly but thank you so much too!” (backs off again) "Sorry!"

Carmilla: (smiling) (hugs vaggie back warmly) "Enough.” (pushing away) ��Go, now. Fight."

Vaggie: "I will.”

Vaggie: (turning to Charlie) (taking her hands) "I always will."

Charlie: (grinning) “With me? As partners?”

Vaggie: “And for you. For as long as you want, and longer. You’ve-” (voice breaks) “… you’ve been stuck with me for while already, Charlie Morningstar.”

Charlie: (tearing up) “So’ve you. And I will too. Um.” (blinking hard) “Vaggie… Morningstar?”

Vaggie: (choked laugh) “Getting ahead of the ceremony, babe, but yeah. Almost.”

Charlie: “Okay.” (sniffling) (Smiling) “Then- oh, thanks Razzle. Uh.” (at vaggie) “Gimme one sec?”

Vaggie: “Take as many as you want, it’s our ceremony after all.”

Charlie: “R-right.” (quickly dabs at eyes with handkerchief Razzle gave her before handing it back) “Then, um, that’s enough ceremony for me, to be honest. You’re enough- you’re all I wanted out of this whole wedding thing anyway, Vaggie.”

Vaggie: “…yeah?”

Charlie: “Yes.”

Vaggie: “Same. I- yeah… you..” (clears throat) “Same here.”

Charlie: “Yeah..?”

Vaggie: “Yes.”

Sir Pentious: “Awwwww.”

Sir Pentious: “…..ah.”

Sir Pentious: (shuffling note cards) “Ah, ahhh… errhm… wasss that, in the vowsss?”

Charlie: (giggling) “Well it is now~”

Vaggie: “Whoops.”

Sir Pentious: “Ah, my apologiessss !” (shuffling frantically) “I- I musssst have missssed, the update- ah, errr-”

Charlie: (laughing) “You didn’t miss anything, Pen, don’t worry!”

Vaggie: “Go ahead Pentious.” (squeezes Charlie’s hands) “We’re ready.”

Charlie: “Heh.” (squeezes back) “We.” (still kinda crying)

Sir Pentious: “Oh yess! Hmmm.”

Sir Pentious: (stares at disorganized notes)

Sir Pentious: “Dearly damned and other demons, sinners, winners, whatevers! We are gathered here today to…! To….” (flips card) “…to kiss- the, ah… brides?”

Angel Dust: “What, kiss them? ALL of us assholes? That’ll take a bit.” (ginning) “Hold onto ya lips, toots!”

Husk: “Pass.”

Alastor: “I must most strenuously decline, ha ha~!”

Niffty: “KISS THE BRIDES! KISS THE BRIDES!” (giggling)“Your death swift would be SWIFT and BRUTAL! And go GREAT with the decorations!”

Cherri: (cackling) (hollering) “You better not, Penny, you’d better not!”

Sir Pentious: “N-NO CHERRI I SSSSWEAR I WOULD NEVER-!”

Sir Pentious: “Oh… ah…”

Sir Pentius: “…they sssseem to be preoccupied with each other, in any case… erm.”

Sir Pentious: “Congratulassshtionsss?”

Charggie: (thumbs up) (still kinda kissing) (still kinda laughing and crying too)

meanwhile

Lucifer in the background: (HOWLING TEARS OF JOY INTO HIS HAT)

Ozzie: (same situation but with Fizzie instead of a hat)

Carmilla: (stiffly but sympathetically patting them both on the head)

Clara & Odette: (waving a pair of lesbian and bisexual flags & holding up a 10/10 score card respectively)

Clara: “…”

Clara: “…what about the rings?”

KeeKee: (walks over) (WRETCHES) (licks paw) (walks off)

Clara & Odette: (stare blankly)

Clara: “…… did the demon cat just cough up their wedding bands.”

Odette: “Apparently.”

Clara: “Aww. That’s really gross.”

Odette: “Don’t be homophobic at the gay wedding, Clara.”

Clara: “I’d never be homophobic at OUR sister’s marriage, Oddy.” (elbows her) “You know what this means?”

Odette: “Finally you are not my default favorite sister. I have to actively choose you, and the privilege can be revoked.”

Clara: “And mom can’t guilt us about wanting to walk a daughter down the aisle anymore.”

Odette: “….”

Odettte: (revises her score cards to say 100/10 instead)

[leahcee]

fuck all that propaganda talk at the DNC about hostages and acting like i**ael are the victims FUCK THAT!!!

[teashadephoenix]

man, living in the star wars universe really just sucks across the board, doesn’t it? republic, empire, new republic, all just different flavors of fascists.

[whateverbringsyouthroughthenight]

[allpromarlo]

goodbye you tiny baldheaded little terrorist you'll be missed

[hobgobknowsbest]

being the "bigger person" is propaganda invented by people who simply wanted to get away with shitty behaviour with no repercussions

[never-quite-buried]

Nope now it’s at the point that i’m shocked that people off tt don’t know what’s going down. I have no reach but i’ll sum it up anyway.

SCOTUS is hearing on the constitutionality of the ban as tiktok and creators are arguing that it is a violation of our first amendment rights to free speech, freedom of the press and freedom to assemble.

SCOTUS: tiktok bad, big security concern because china bad!

Tiktok lawyers: if china is such a concern why are you singling us out? Why not SHEIN or temu which collect far more information and are less transparent with their users?

SCOTUS (out loud): well you see we don’t like how users are communicating with each other, it’s making them more anti-american and china could disseminate pro china propaganda (get it? They literally said they do not like how we Speak or how we Assemble. Independent journalists reach their audience on tt meaning they have Press they want to suppress)

Tiktok users: this is fucking bullshit i don’t want to lose this community what should we do? We don’t want to go to meta or x because they both lobbied congress to ban tiktok (free market capitalism amirite? Paying off your local congressmen to suppress the competition is totally what the free market is about) but nothing else is like TikTok

A few users: what about xiaohongshu? It’s the Chinese version of tiktok (not quite, douyin is the chinese tiktok but it’s primarily for younger users so xiaohongshu was chosen)

16 hours later:

Tiktok as a community has chosen to collectively migrate TO a chinese owned app that is purely in Chinese out of utter spite and contempt for meta/x and the gov that is backing them.

My fyp is a mix of “i would rather mail memes to my friends than ever return to instagram reels” and “i will xerox my data to xi jinping myself i do not care i share my ss# with 5 other people anyway” and “im just getting ready for my day with my chinese made coffee maker and my Chinese made blowdryer and my chinese made clothing and listening to a podcast on my chinese made phone and get in my car running on chinese manufactured microchips but logging into a chinese social media? Too much for our gov!” etc.

So the government was scared that tiktok was creating a sense of class consciousness and tried to kill it but by doing so they sent us all to xiaohongshu. And now? Oh it’s adorable seeing this gov-manufactured divide be crossed in such a way.

This is adorable and so not what they were expecting. Im sure they were expecting a reluctant return to reels and shorts to fill the void but tiktokers said fuck that, we will forge connections across the world. Who you tell me is my enemy i will make my friend. That’s pretty damn cool.

[guiltyidealist]

new favorite YouTube comment just dropped

[thedevilprobs]

The whole point of drawing is the part where you black out and do something super cool. Or when you're doing something you really like and mentally you're like "don't fuck up don't fuck up don't fuck up don't fu-" but you can't stop

art takes so long and its so tiring but if i dont make art for the rest of my life ill die

[arson-jellyfish69]

AI disturbance overlays for those who don't have Ibis paint premium. found them on tiktok

[bixels]

As gen-AI becomes more normalized (Chappell Roan encouraging it, grifters on the rise, young artists using it), I wanna express how I will never turn to it because it fundamentally bores me to my core. There is no reason for me to want to use gen-AI because I will never want to give up my autonomy in creating art. I never want to become reliant on an inhuman object for expression, least of all if that object is created and controlled by tech companies. I draw not because I want a drawing but because I love the process of drawing. So even in a future where everyone’s accepted it, I’m never gonna sway on this.

[sweaters-and-vertigo]

they could never make me trust cops

[codecicle-archive]

Guys I'm so glad everyone loves hit JRWI campaign: The Suckening so much. 12 thousand notes on just a thumbnail that's so cool. Anyone think about emizel pussy-out post revival

[pallettown]

genuinely so scary that you can't access the page on the ssc website that guides you through changing your sex designation. so so fucking scary. they are already making our lives harder. they are already taking what little resources we have.

[azvhaalk]

glorious evolution