#vaggie saying later the hardest fight of her life was her wedding day-

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

totally unserious take on a chaggie wedding XD inspired by @tiny-feisty-gay's glorious idea of carmilla giving vaggie away XD XD

Carmilla: "....."

Vaggie: (dressed to get hitched) (half way out a window)

Carmilla: "...am I interrupting?"

Vaggie: "Miss Carmine, uh- No, I was just. Gonna get some air..."

Carmilla: "Two minutes before your wedding."

Vaggie: "That's- that's why I need the air."

Carmilla: "And when you don't return from your 'air getting', what exactly would you like me to say to your heartbroken bride?"

Vaggie: ".... I..."

Carmilla: "Come along." (hooks vaggie by the arm and pulls her casually away from the window) "You can explain it all to me on the way."

Vaggie: "The way- the- the way WHERE?"

Carmilla: "To the wedding arch, where your reformed snake man is waiting to officiate your vows with the princess of hell." (lifts eyebrow) "I did you both a rather large favor by helping your fight against heaven. I am calling in that favor now, and you will allow me to walk you down the aisle."

Vaggie: "Oh no."

Carmilla: "Oh yes."

Vaggie: "Wait." (digging in her heels) (getting dragged anyway) "Wait!"

Carmilla: "Why should I."

Vaggie: "The wedding- I can't."

Carmilla: "Then face her and tell her so."

Vaggie: "That’s not what-"

Carmilla: "Did you ask her to be here today?"

Vaggie: "W-we asked each other..."

Carmilla: "So you at least owe her that much. You can say whatever you like once you reach the arch, but you should at least meet her there. Don't you think?"

Vaggie: "..."

Vaggie: "You're right." (squares shoulders) "You're right- I should. And. I've been practicing the vows for weeks. I should just. Say them."

Carmilla: "Good." (at the doors) "Ready?"

Vaggie: (breathes out) "...ready."

Carmilla: (walks them out the doors and towards the aisle)

Vaggie: "-im not ready im not ready."

Carmilla: "Too late."

Vaggie: (whisper yelling) "Turn left! Left! Left left left!"

Carmilla: "No."

Vaggie: "Miss Carmine- please-"

Carmilla: "No.” (effortless marches vaggie forward) “If you didn't want me interfering with your life then you shouldn't have come asking me for help in the first place."

Vaggie: "I ASKED? I only asked you to teach me how to kill angels!"

Carmilla: "And I only agreed to teach you when you said you were looking to protect those you love. Now I have another lesson for you."

Vaggie: "This isn't the time-"

Carmilla: "Hush. You need to kill the angel in your head."

Vaggie: "The what?"

Carmilla: "The voice screaming at your about worthiness instead of love- kill it. Kill it before it breaks the heart of the woman that you love."

Vaggie: "How can I- but it's not wrong. And it's, me."

Carmilla: "And you are the one she asked to be here. Look. She's waiting for you."

Vaggie: "Charlie..."

Vaggie: “……”

Vaggie: "....she's loves people, e-even when they don't deserve it."

Carmilla: "Your entire hotel is built on proving that a lie. Are you willing to fight for her or not?"

Vaggie: "Yes! With my life, no matter what-"

Carmilla: "Then fight for her. Fight yourself, for her, or you will be the one to hurt her."

Vaggie: "....what if I lose? What I.. if she..."

Carmilla: "You can't be ready to fight a battle if you're not ready to risk losing it. Is her happiness worth that risk to you?"

Vaggie: "More than anything."

Carmilla: (as they reach the arch) (whispering) "Then you are ready."

At the arch

Charlie: "VAGGIE!” (grinning) “H-hi!!!"

Vaggie: (smiling) (melting) "Hey, sweetie." (hesitates) "…one second?"

Charlie: "? Okay!!!!!!"

Vaggie: (turns to Carmilla) "Can I hug you."

Carmilla: "You may."

Vaggie: (hugs her stiffly) "Thank you."

Charlie: (also quickly hugging them both) “I don’t know why exactly but thank you so much too!” (backs off again) "Sorry!"

Carmilla: (smiling) (hugs vaggie back warmly) "Enough.” (pushing away) “Go, now. Fight."

Vaggie: "I will.”

Vaggie: (turning to Charlie) (taking her hands) "I always will."

Charlie: (grinning) “With me? As partners?”

Vaggie: “And for you. For as long as you want, and longer. You’ve-” (voice breaks) “… you’ve been stuck with me for while already, Charlie Morningstar.”

Charlie: (tearing up) “So’ve you. And I will too. Um.” (blinking hard) “Vaggie… Morningstar?”

Vaggie: (choked laugh) “Getting ahead of the ceremony, babe, but yeah. Almost.”

Charlie: “Okay.” (sniffling) (Smiling) “Then- oh, thanks Razzle. Uh.” (at vaggie) “Gimme one sec?”

Vaggie: “Take as many as you want, it’s our ceremony after all.”

Charlie: “R-right.” (quickly dabs at eyes with handkerchief Razzle gave her before handing it back) “Then, um, that’s enough ceremony for me, to be honest. You’re enough- you’re all I wanted out of this whole wedding thing anyway, Vaggie.”

Vaggie: “…yeah?”

Charlie: “Yes.”

Vaggie: “Same. I- yeah… you..” (clears throat) “Same here.”

Charlie: “Yeah..?”

Vaggie: “Yes.”

Sir Pentious: “Awwwww.”

Sir Pentious: “…..ah.”

Sir Pentious: (shuffling note cards) “Ah, ahhh… errhm… wasss that, in the vowsss?”

Charlie: (giggling) “Well it is now~”

Vaggie: “Whoops.”

Sir Pentious: “Ah, my apologiessss !” (shuffling frantically) “I- I musssst have missssed, the update- ah, errr-”

Charlie: (laughing) “You didn’t miss anything, Pen, don’t worry!”

Vaggie: “Go ahead Pentious.” (squeezes Charlie’s hands) “We’re ready.”

Charlie: “Heh.” (squeezes back) “We.” (still kinda crying)

Sir Pentious: “Oh yess! Hmmm.”

Sir Pentious: (stares at disorganized notes)

Sir Pentious: “Dearly damned and other demons, sinners, winners, whatevers! We are gathered here today to…! To….” (flips card) “…to kiss- the, ah… brides?”

Angel Dust: “What, kiss them? ALL of us assholes? That’ll take a bit.” (ginning) “Hold onto ya lips, toots!”

Husk: “Pass.”

Alastor: “I must most strenuously decline, ha ha~!”

Niffty: “KISS THE BRIDES! KISS THE BRIDES!” (giggling)“Your death swift would be SWIFT and BRUTAL! And go GREAT with the decorations!”

Cherri: (cackling) (hollering) “You better not, Penny, you’d better not!”

Sir Pentious: “N-NO CHERRI I SSSSWEAR I WOULD NEVER-!”

Sir Pentious: “Oh… ah…”

Sir Pentius: “…they sssseem to be preoccupied with each other, in any case… erm.”

Sir Pentious: “Congratulassshtionsss?”

Charggie: (thumbs up) (still kinda kissing) (still kinda laughing and crying too)

meanwhile

Lucifer in the background: (HOWLING TEARS OF JOY INTO HIS HAT)

Ozzie: (same situation but with Fizzie instead of a hat)

Carmilla: (stiffly but sympathetically patting them both on the head)

Clara & Odette: (waving a pair of lesbian and bisexual flags & holding up a 10/10 score card respectively)

Clara: “…”

Clara: “…what about the rings?”

KeeKee: (walks over) (WRETCHES) (licks paw) (walks off)

Clara & Odette: (stare blankly)

Clara: “…… did the demon cat just cough up their wedding bands.”

Odette: “Apparently.”

Clara: “Aww. That’s really gross.”

Odette: “Don’t be homophobic at the gay wedding, Clara.”

Clara: “I’d never be homophobic at OUR sister’s marriage, Oddy.” (elbows her) “You know what this means?”

Odette: “Finally you are not my default favorite sister. I have to actively choose you, and the privilege can be revoked.”

Clara: “And mom can’t guilt us about wanting to walk a daughter down the aisle anymore.”

Odette: “….”

Odettte: (revises her score cards to say 100/10 instead)