#Fat trans women save me…

[dewdrops-whammy-bar]

Yeah sorry I was just thinking about Cumulus’s fat cock again don’t mind me

It’s short for ghoul standards, about 5-6 inches (ghouls are HUNG, the average is 7-9 inches), but it makes up for that in girth. Not as thick as Aether but still enough to make even a seasoned bottom whine a bit at the stretch. Her balls are covered in neatly groomed soft fluffy feathers and not impressively big but soooooo sensitive.

Lus is the mating press QUEEN. She’s a big girl and she uses it to her full advantage to pin down her packmates. The closest ghouls can get to heaven is being bred by Cumulus while being suffocated by her tits.

Knotting is her favorite part of course. She looooves growling praises into her partner’s ear while she stretches them open even MORE. She doesn’t cum a lot since she started E but it’s always enough to satisfy.

She’s a big fan of lazy frotting. Waking up from a nap with a packmate, nuzzling them awake, and getting them worked up with a few sweet words is her specialty. Sunny is the most enthusiastic about this- she can do it for hours, snuggling and kissing with Lus as their cocks make a mess on their tummies.

Her signature move is telling someone “I’m gonna make us both mommies” right before she pops her knot in. This is most effective on Swiss, but she’s sworn to secrecy about that.

[dilfsisko]

save me fat women. fat women save me

[sevicia]

my parents gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas and I still have like a handful left and I just shared some w/ my sister + mom and they commented on how it's surprising that I didn't eat them all in like less than a week AND that I'm willingly sharing w/ them.

and yknow what yeah it IS surprising cause I used to hate sharing any of my snacks and also got extremely restless when I knew I had snacks like, available, to the point I'd eat them really quickly by myself.

and it's kinda scary 2 me cause I've always had that weird anxiety & protectiveness (?) over my food & not having it 24/7 anymore is like. STRANGE. like something's not adding up ykwim ??

but obviously it's fully a good thing cause I used to feel so so anxious and restless and then when I ate everything in one sitting I'd regret it cause I wouldn't have any for later BUT I also felt like a lot of shame in an angry way when my family would comment on it like "you always eat EVERYTHING" "why can't you just leave some for later ???" "we're giving you a portion and putting the rest away so you don't eat it all at once" . and there's the like general shame that comes w/ being even slightly aligned with being a girl cause I'm literally an entire Man but years & years of being treated like a girl and having those expectations forced on me has put a lot of trash in my brain. like people's expectations of women (whether they are just perceived as women or Actually women)(AKA trans afab people or cis + trans women)(hate that I even have to put a disclaimer) are fucking absuuuurd

[lucatielsgirlfriend]

Save me trans women.....

Fat women save me..........

save us all fat tgirl.....

[genderqueerdykes]

hi! im a little nervous and im not sure how to ask this, but i had a question about briefs? im a trans man who isnt out yet, but id like to know something about mens underwear. im planning on buying them when i leave home for college, but im not sure if theyre comfortable. while i hear a lot about how comfortable boxers and briefs are, theyre usually from skinny trans men, and i am fat. like, pear-shaped body, thick-thighs-save-lives fat. my thighs are *big.* i dont know if the underwear (any kind) would be comfortable for me, and i dont want to get my hopes up. i know this is a silly question, but i didnt know where else to go. i get that fat men wear mens underwear, but my thighs are soft and squishy and like, the elastic bands on the underwear dont look comfortable? sorry this is really stupid aha. i bring this up because ive bought mens shorts and i wear my dads shorts a lot, but theyre not really comfortable. i truly cannot get comfortable even in larger mens shorts, because my thighs and hips are so much bigger than my waist. sorry if its silly.

this is not silly at all, this is one of the first things i changed about my wardrobe because i really hated 'women's' underwear. i'm also fat and the way it digs into my body in the worst places is atrocious. i haven't really worn 'women's underwear regularly in a very long time.

in my experience normal boxers can be hard if you have really wide hips. i found that the fabric was rather sturdy and dug into me and were just overall very uncomfortable. i had much better luck with boxer briefs. way more comfortable and airy. i wore them for a really long time. the elastic on them is generally very relaxed and doesn't dig. i've never tried briefs and i have no plan to because i feel like that would gouge me up like crazy

if anyone else has feedback feel free to let anon know! i'm not sure if there are any particular brands that are best for fat people, but others might know. best of luck in figuring this out!

[girl-failure]

Transwoman needs answers

this isnt an easy post to write and it's going to be full of info about me that's personal and embarassing but I am desperate for answers and assitance so please bear with me. Long story short, im almost 3 years hrt (may 19th will be exact) and it's like nothing has changed. More info under the cut.

I'm going to try and explain everything to the best of my memory, but exact dosages and stuff might be fuzzy and inexact. I began HRT on May 19th 2021, when I was 22. I took one and a half 2mg pills, twice (morning and night) daily. I took them sublingually. I was also prescribed Spironolactone, though the exact dose escapes me (i remember it was 1 pill nightly). I had only come out as trans in the December the previous year, so i considered myself unfathomably lucky to get to start so soon. I had done this through informed consent at a planned parenthood and was excited by the possibility of a future where my own body didn't make me want to die. The idea of changing my body gave me a feeling of control in my life that had been entirely absent until that point. I knew I wanted all the help I could get with breast development (the women in my immediate family are well endowed) and I had read & heard from other trans women that prog could help, but I'd have to wait to ask for it.

I think it was on December 15, 2021, I was officially prescribed 100 progesterone nightly. At this point I had began to notice softer skin, lighter hair, the few bits of acne left over from high school had gone entirely, and the inklings of breasts beginning to form. My libido had all but dissipated entirely at that point, but I was told (mostly by other trans women) it would come back, especially after starting prog, and that my body would likely experience pleasure differently, and that my orgasm would be very different. The fat from my stomach (i wasn't overweight or underweight, i was pretty average for a man my height, but I did have a masculine stomach I despised) hadn't relocated at all, but I knew HRT wasn't a sprint, but a marathon, and I had a long way to go. This continued for a long time, eventually i would be bumped up to two 2mg of E (sublingual pill) twice daily (8mg total), and my Spiro would change to 200mg a day EDIT: My Spiro dosages did fluctuate, though again I don't recall the exact dosages, (I initially got it confused with my prog dosage, sorry), though there was the occasional few week period where I'd be bumped back down to one and a half E pills because I had timed my blood-work poorly. It had been a while since starting HRT and I was starting to worry. My libido never came back, I was unable to feel the sensation of pleasure entirely, my breasts & nipples never became sensitive or had growth pains, and my breasts really hadn't grown at all. My stomach still made me feel awful and masculine because fat continued to pile up there instead of in the feminine places I was told and led to believe it should!!! I was scared and frightened and upset. I'd say I developed an eating disorder but my eating was already disordered. I was afraid of food. Afraid it'd just make me look manly, instead of going to my hips/waist/whatever and breasts like it was supposed to. I began to feel like the hrt that was supposed to save my life was just making me feel worse.

On October 23rd, 2023, I finally started seeing a doctor again after 9 years of not being able to afford it, and only then because a parent got insurance through their work. I was officially prescribed Estradiol Valerate (.3mL intramuscular, and the bottle itself is 20mg/mL) , and quit Spiro outright. Now that I was talking to a doc, especially one who had been working with trans people in my area for years, I was starting to have hope again that maybe injections would solve my problems. After all, they're supposed to be more powerful right? Well after some blood-work revealing that my T levels were so low they were undetectable, we started fiddling with my injection dosages. I went down to .25mL. Nothing changed. I went down to .2ml. Nothing changed. I stayed at .2mL and was prescribed a med called EstraTest (.625mg E and 1.25mg T), a single pill which has both E and T in it, to try and raise my T levels back to measurable levels and hopefully find that golden ratio of E and T where maybe my body will start working again and start changing. But that brings us today. I still don't feel any sensation of pleasure (masturbating is pointless, intimacy just feels like I'm disappointing my partner), let alone a female orgasm (which as embarrassing as it is to admit, I was really looking forward to), my nipples still don't get sensitive and my chest doesn't get sore or get growing pains. My breasts look the same way they did 4 months into hrt. I've still had practically no fat redistribution, though I've gotten better about eating and not being afraid of food. I'm even beginning to notice my acne slowing starting to come back. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Why has nothing worked? Why does it feel like I'm regressing? I lost my health insurance earlier this week, and I can't afford to see my doctor again with my dumb pizza delivery job, so I haven't been able to ask to try anything more drastic to try and fix these issues. My current theories are that maybe my body is just more resistant to E? Which would be awful, but might be handled by just tripling my dose or something? Or

that my receptors are fried, and that the only solution would be to stop taking my HRT for a while (maybe even a long while). I pray that isn't the case, because I'd sooner off myself then let my body regress any further.

So this is a call for help. If anyone has any idea what could be causing these problems for me, or knows how I might be able to fix them, PLEASE let me know. I've lost hope in having a future as a woman, or even just feeling apathy towards my body (instead of intense self-loathing) at this point.

Here's my ca$happ if anyone wants to throw some money my way and maybe I'll be able to see the doctor again. cash.app/$occultChloe

[geekthefreakout]

The Joy Leaving the Work

This post will be discussing the works of Neil Gaiman and my personal relationship with them. If you don't like that or cannot handle that, kindly don't read. Also, there will be allusions to SA in the discussions.

So, a couple of weeks ago I decided to pick up Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman-- a book I've owned for a couple of years that's been in my "to read pile" waiting its turn. In the light of the allegations against Gaiman, I put off reading it a couple of months more as I tried to process how I felt. Now I've read it.

Background: Neil Gaiman has been my favorite author bar none ever since I read Coraline in 5th Grade. He and Sir Terry Pratchett share a bookshelf of honor in my room- the one right behind my bed, so I can easily reach for a comfort read. I've always loved his twists on various stories-- The Graveyard Book and Neverwhere being two of my favorites. The dark-but-not-too-dark tone, the dry humor, the magical realism, all of it. Anansi Boys looked like it would have all of that.

And it did! In a vacuum, this would have been a very enjoyable read. But with the allegations, I noticed things that I wouldn't have before. For example (spoilers, I guess):

Mr. Nancy (the titular Anansi) is a funny old man, and often a bit lecherous. In his final moments, he's doing karaoke with some young, buxom blondes when he has a heart attack and falls off the stage, hand outstretched. As he goes down, he sticks his hand out, grabbing one girl's tube top and exposing her as he dies.

This anecdote in the book is presented as something that embarrasses his son (our protag) but is generally interpreted by the other characters as something that was just so funny and charming.

It made me uncomfortable. In fact, just about every time Mr. Nancy alluded to his Master Roshi-like interest in buxom young women, I felt uncomfortable. But wait, there's more:

Spider (secret twin brother of protag Fat Charlie) is interested in Fat Charlie's fiancee. He tricks her into thinking that he IS Fat Charlie, and this girl who had been saving her virginity til marriage is so taken by him that they have sex. Meaning not only did he entice the girl to sex under false circumstances (this is rape), but it's also unclear as to how much of her going along with him is really HER and how much is his... mojo, I suppose. To the story's credit, once she realizes what has happened she gets angry and breaks up with both of them, no longer wanting anything to do with them... until, of course, happenstance brings them together again and she admits that she had real feelings for Spider, who finds himself wanting to behave better for her.

That doesn't sit right with me in the best of circumstances. These are not the best of circumstances.

I finished the book and it took me this long- two weeks and change- to decide how I feel about it. And how I feel about it is this-- I cannot separate it from the author. I cannot enjoy this book because the slime from Gaiman's actions oozes all over it. And that sucks.

I'm almost afraid to reread my favorites from him, for fear that my happy memories of those books will be ruined too. That SUCKS.

And it makes me feel dumb for never having seen the misogyny in the books before. It's like when Rowling showed herself to be what she was and I couldn't enjoy Harry Potter anymore, but worse because Gaiman is an author that I was still actively reading, who had been vocally supportive of queer and trans people, who I'd still looked up to. When it all went down with Rowling, I realized that I'd been excusing a lot of problematic shit in her writing as ignorance, rather than malice. But it WAS malice. And now I'm wondering if I didn't make the same mistake with Gaiman. That sucks too.

Anyway. That's my rant. Thanks for listening. Please share if you're having issues like this too, it's good to not feel alone.

[enbycrip]

I’ve not been posting about various stuff I’ve been doing over the last few weeks for various reasons - partially sheer exhaustion, partially a sort of weird holdover of “not wanting to go on about things because that’s performative” thing, partially that, tbh, much of the time when I’m posting I’m so *tired* that dragging complicated things about my own life out is so emotionally taxing and difficult that posting about them feels like a spoon hit I don’t have the capacity available to absorb.

But that’s probably not helpful. So here we are. Post One is going to be about the rehab programme because that’s been one of the main focuses of my time and energy since November.

I’m in the last week of my initial free 12-week chronic joint pain rehab programme at Nuffield Health, which has meant free membership there with specific classes which include exercise and also a whole bunch of advice on things that are supposed to affect pain. I’ve found it - complex but overall positive?

- It’s a rolling programme so when I first joined I was with a whole bunch of older women near the end of their programmes. That was really difficult for gender reasons, feeling maybe this wasn’t aimed at me at all etc etc. It became much more positive as they rolled off and a much more diverse group of folk in gender and age rolled on with me, and I’m honestly going to miss my peers in this. I’m still the youngest in the group, and I’ve not talked about gender in it because honestly that’s spoon-heavy, but it’s been a lot less difficult genderfeels-wise than I initially feared. I have been wearing my pronoun badges at least. I’d love some more Pride and non-binary-specific gym gear - please feel free to link any you know out there from ethical companies; I suspect a lot of it may be beyond my price range, but saving up exists.

- My initial health check showed I had put on a *lot* more weight than I thought, so I’ve been doing my best to utterly revamp my diet and how much sugar I was eating in particular as a maladaptive way to manage fatigue. My next health check is on Thursday after my last class and I’m trying *really* hard not to hope that I’ve lost tons of the weight because a) weight is not an indicator of health or worth b) I’ve been doing a LOT of weights work over that time and it’s entirely possible I’ve acquired a lot more muscle. This would be a very good thing. Trying to manage all of this and getting to a better way of eating with the old ED demon on my shoulder has been *complex* AF tbh. I do actually really need to thank person-centred therapy, many years in the disabled community in general, and FatDoctor and other people in the fat-positive community, esp the trans part, for this not fucking up my head more than it has. I should probably drop my old therapist a personal email to thank her for the help she was to me on this - is that a weird thing for an ex-patient to do? Does that cross boundaries?

- The “general advice on things that are supposed to reduce pain” bit was a barrier for me because it brings up so much trauma about pain clinics and other medical BS about pain over the last decade plus. The fact that it’s ten minutes before exercise has helped; not enough time to build up anger and then physical activity to release it. It’s also helped that we’ve had a lot of group discussions and almost everyone there is chronically ill or chronically injured so it’s been sharing experiences of the genuine systemic life problems that come with that and a *lot* of discussions about how unhelpful the wider medical system has been. Patient solidarity is helpful. Who’d have thunk it? 😜

- I’ve had to *keep* fighting my own “ADHD extremes” personality tendencies all the way through this, as I have through much of the last decade plus. I am *bad* at not throwing myself at things I’m trying to really engage with, y’all. I am *bad* at sensible moderation. It’s not how my brain works at *all*. But I’ve only had one sublaxion and one POTS collapse in the entire programme, and I am fucking proud of myself for that.

- That notwithstanding, this has been A Lot, esp as one of the classes is on a Thursday, the day I see my brother. I don’t talk about him on social media a lot because he is nonspeaking and can’t consent to me sharing stuff about him, but getting weekly contact with him again has been incredibly important to me, and to him, from what he has communicated to me. It’s also high-energy and sometimes exhausting, when he is having a particularly high-energy day, or a tough day, and means cleaning up afterwards. Given how often much less high-energy social contact just kicks the shit out of me, I’m really proud that I’ve missed very few days with him, but it has been *exhausting*. I have spent every Wednesday and most weekends since starting the programme entirely in bed, just crawling to the bathroom, and even with that I am *still* just bone-deep exhausted right now, though I think some of that is still fallout from the *great* weekend away we went to for a friend’s 50th a fortnight ago, of which I *still* spent much too much time in bed.

- I think that, no matter how hard I tried not to, I let myself somewhat entertain the idea that this programme might utterly transform my health if I put enough work into it. Because no matter how hard I try not to, it’s *difficult* not to get sucked into the prevailing medical orthodoxy about fatigue disorders that a big part of the fatigue is “deconditioning” and fixing that will fix the fatigue. Instead, I’m doing a thing that is genuinely helping my mobility but any effect on fatigue levels is very much on the “increasing” scale than otherwise, despite the level of pacing involved (which is the only thing that lets me do anything at all). So after the classes end I am going to be in the space where I need to keep on doing this to keep the mobility improvements and the long-term effects on my health (particularly re reducing my huge osteoporosis risk) and that is going to be *tough*. Some of it will help, esp re the flexibility to pace around other things I’m doing, but making sure I *keep* doing this when it’s going to mean keeping on having to ask my dad for lifts to the gym and the level of exhaustion involved is going to be *tough*. Going to do my best to keep up with other group people there in the hope that will help.

- Doing this at a time when, frankly, Labour is increasing attacks on disability support is extra-scary. I am *really* afraid any improvements in mobility etc will be read as “well you’re cured then” as opposed to “you’re improving prospects for your longer term health and increasing your capacities in certain ways but the work it takes to do and maintain that has at best huge knock-on effects on the energy, including the cognitive energy, available to do anything else with”. The proposed cuts to Access To Work mean any work I can ever get is even more going to have to be remote, which is scary too. The way disability is continually viewed in such zero-sum, capitalist-centered ways continues to just sap my energy across the board, and I’ve got so little to start with.

[smokeysweater]

Fat black women,, fat black women save me

Yeah she’s trans but you didn’t hear it from me-

[freezing-kaiju]

ALRIGHT, IT'S TIME!

THE SECOND RYUKI-AND-BLADE-ACCOMPANYING ANIME POLL IS NOW HERE!!!

SO, MEET YOUR CHALLENGERS!

AJIN Demi-Human

We start with a dark horror and possibly scifi about ethics in science, immortality, and an outlaw fugitive alien plot as a boy finds himself part of a group of immortals declared legally inhuman. While I have some misgivings about Oh No I Was Secretly A Creature All Along plots, I do fucking love horror and there’s a lot of ways for those plots to hit hard in the trans and gay and autism organs and be really important!!!!

Dimension W

The New Tesla Energy Corporation has monopolized the fourth dimension and the coils that connect to it. A duo of bounty hunters, one human and one robot, make money via repossessing illegal coils and seek out the answer to the mysteries within the dimension. I really wanna watch this one for a few reasons, the primary one of which is 'there are multiple fat women'. It seems to have freaks and weirdos and fun times, and its comedy is emphasized more than most of the other ones on this list so it might give some needed levity!

Kyoukai no Kanata

A bumbling monster hunter with blood powers meets an immortal via trying to shank him and ends up in an arrangement where she'll keep trying to kill him to boost her confidence while hunting monsters in what I hope is a monster-of-a-week show that came highly recommended by a friend as her favorite anime, or one of her favorites, so i have high hopes! Script's by the hibike euphonium guy and the power system seems quite interesting!

Air

A puppeteer (if he’s as good as Sakon will remain to be seen) stops his Road Trip To Meet A Golden Sun Jupiter Summon to stay for a bit in a town and, as happens to anyone who stops for too long, gets attached to the place and also meets a girl who might be said jupiteresque being. My friend informs me that it's gorgeous, sounds amazing (so I'll make sure to get clips), and has "nice sad vibes"!!! And it’s…listed in a “provincial horror” listing… hoho

Heike Monogatari

A child who can see ghosts and the future walks tirelessly through the tragedy of the war between the Taira and Minamoto families before the dawn of the first shogunate. It's wildly beloved by a friend of mine, and also centers a historical event i know some but not all about and definitely need to know more about the Taira side of. Seems like a beautiful drama, one I could lose my heart over.

SSSS Gridman

Digital kaiju! Digital hero! Digital amnesia! A monster of the week show about an unknown amnesiac summoning and merging with Hyper Agent Gridman to fight digital, possibly virtual monsters while making friends(?) in the real world! It's the one thing Tsubaraya Productions has that isn't Ultraman, and I expect some tokusatsu vibes from it along with the mecha stuff, i've also heard it has gay girl megatron??

Akudama Drive

It's a prison break and crime story set in a tech dystopia, starring a scene girl shoplifter, and featuring a bevvy of unpersoned convicts in what seems like an excellent ensemble clusterfuck!!! The Danganronpa crew made this thing! It's also beloved by a friend of mine, and I've heard it'll be a generally excellent tragedy of a time

Canaan

A reporter gets saved from assassins by a woman she might do yuri with, and the summaries I’ve found seem to imply a plot about terrorism and mystery! It’s a Type-Moon work that isn't part of the fate, tsukihime, OR melty universes! It might still have magecraft, but it's tagged sci-fi too, and a type moon take on scifi sounds interesting... it’s also based on. *checks wikipedia* a…perfect-Famitsu-score visual novel for the Nintendo Wii. So I might need to dig out some old hardware to watch this thing. For fun’s sake!

Killing Bites

A guy unintentionally becomes the underground wrestling promoter of a ?werewolf? Woman who murders his friends and wins him a shitload of money. The end goal? According to the summary, control of the economy!!! This was recommended as garbage and good lord I need garbage so much good god I need to put some trash inside of me.

[velvetvexations]

acting on your best behavior lending a hand to mother nature everybody wants to save the world

I'd be so happy to never clean up after myself and make you break your back every day doing it for me but I would definitely harass you more actively regardless of you being less conventionally appealing by the standards of frat bros because of your age and I don't know if that'd make it better or worse for you.

imagine if trans men refused to tag forcemasc or threw it at random trans women

Yeah, that is super hot anon. I went to a movie and restaurant with my best friend and his sister on, I think my sixteenth birthday, and she kept farting the entire time, and she was SO fucking sexy by my standards. Really cute nerdy girl. At the time I was super into non-skinny girls and humiliating weight gain, too, so all that combined into me getting into slob kink, and I'm mostly not into the fat aspect anymore but ever since then girls being humiliated by flatulence in one way or another, either enduring someone else's or having to deal with their own, is now honestly one of my main things. Like I tried to keep it subtle in OoA but I had to include it because yes, I'm obsessed with it.

Enjoy being a freak!

lmao man I wish someone would hit buttons I didn't even know I had so hard I have to safeword from overstimulation

get your tits whipped to hell and back anon

<3

yeah that's definitely a common strain of masochism

be your true Disinterested Bitch self anon

autoandrophilia and autogynephilia are real things in the sense that "cumming from imagining yourself as the gender you're attracted to" is a really basic and intuitive concept to get horny about but it doesn't work as an explanation for being trans

anyway there is literally nothing transphobic about your magic genderswitch kink and it wouldn't be taken as transphobic except by stupid people you shouldn't care about offending anyway

hell yeah that's how you do it make yourself invincible to that shit

valid

suggest forcefem anon - it also just feels strange as hell to me as a concept for a gimic blog as a trans dude whos deeply into forcefem (the actual kink not tumblrs version of 'sfw kink completely removed from anything sexual bc sex is gross'). the mod seems to primarily use this blog to *actually suggest* being fem/femme/women to people, seemingly indescriminately. plus the 'forcemasc dni' thing was so incredibly braindead & hypocritical but thats TRFs for you

It's not misunderstanding forcefem to do it in a gender validating way, it's just different. But everything about how TRFs do forcefem and talk about it is very unsafe and rests on the idea that everyone should want to be women and cis, and trans men alike should shut up and put up with misgendering as a fun joke, and also it's not even a kink but just a funny meme/"transfem culture" so why bother tagging this sexual fetish they masturbate to.

[davekat-sucks]

why does no one acknowledge that the alpha kids are older gender-bents of the betas? You think that would come up seeing that everyone is obsessed with what is in your pants nowadays and it would lead into introspective discussions between the pairs. Imagine how much Dave and Roxy would hype each other up for being the raddest guy and gal they know respectively. Hell how many people get to see what they would look like if they had a few chromosomes altered, that's some mind-boggling shit (apparently John get's fat if he was a girl though....)

It's because the Lalonde and Strider when paradoxically cloned, stayed the same gender and played similar roles. However, Harley/Crocker/Egbert/English changes it. So it's not a straight up genderbend for the former two. Roxy and Rose are both silly girls in their own different ways, like how Dave and Dirk approach things about irony differently yet similar as well. Sure Jane likes to be a prankster like John, but with her interest in baking while John despises eating it, is ways to make them different. Skaianet Systems, whether one thinks it is canon or not, does show the upbringing of Jane Crocker when she was raised under The Condesce and was shown she was just as horny and bitchy as she would for Act 6 and onward. But when John was raised under The Condesce, he stayed kind and became a famous comedian. Part of me also think it also plays up to how certain women are mostly in power, strong, badass, and are the more aggressive compared to men. Which is a running theme in Homestuck itself when you look at people like Vriska, Snowman, and The Condesce herself. And there's Jake having to hunt to keep himself alive while Jade was mostly isolated save Bec from any other major harm besides maybe weather conditions. But both suffer from loneliness in their own way, Jake fears of dying on an island filled with monsters while Jade has nobody to actually talk to unless she is asleep and the only other company besides a dog is just taxidermy creatures. One of which including her Grandfather. Jake had to BURN his grandma's corpse to survive. People also don't want Jane to be trans because of things like how she was portrayed by Epilogues and HS2/Beyond Canon. A racist sexual deviant bitch. Sure they love her as a fat rep and some may still ship her with Roxy, but making her trans is just too far. John is a better blank slate to project on because most of the nu-gen fandom HATE John or don't give a shit about him despite being the main character.

[lizard-reads-the-world]

2025 January reads

Who Fears Death by Nnedi Okorafor ★★★★4.5

My first dive into this author's catalog, and I wasn't disappointed. This is in some ways a classic fantasy journey - awakening, training arc, the Journey, etc. The worldbuilding is gorgeous and the setting is a fantasy version of the Sahara. Has some heavy themes but also wholly engrossed me in the story.

Death of the Author by Nnedi Okorafor ★★★★4.5

I also skipped ahead to Okorafor's newest novel this month. This book features a disabled (paraplegic) author whose first novel gets wildly popular, and the fallout from that. It's packed with themes ranging from AI and technology, to ableism and the demand for celebrities to "perform" their identity. The story structure gets meta, alternating between Zelu, her novel, and interviews with family. I loved Zelu's "selfish" struggle for independence, and was appalled much of the time by her family. Unique genre-defying book.

Don't Want You Like a Best Friend and You're the Problem, It's You by Emma R. Alban ★★★★ 4

These were my two audio reads. These are great for anyone who wants Jane Austen but more gay (they're Victorian, not Regency era, but the vibe is similar). There is plenty of angst given the state of society and the pressure to get a spouse to save your family, but there is enough fun and delightful characters that can I call these a romp? I thought the guys got to be spicier, which wasn't quite fair. And the ending so... domestic, haha. I enjoyed both!

Tar Hollow Trans by Stacy Jane Grover ★★★★ 4

I wanted to read more trans books this year, and I'm also wanting to research Appalachia for a tentative writing project, so this book hit both. This is my first (I think) book that is a "collection of essays", so I'm not quite sure how to review that, as many of them are personal reflections. I resonated with a lot of points that she makes about stereotypes surrounding rural queers and Appalachia.

Scarlet Lies by Lani Young ★★★★★ 5

The preview to this one pulled me in, even if I don't usually pick up m/f romances. Scar's voice is so hilarious. I love that she's a fat, brown, unapologetic Samoan woman and she gets the man of her dreams. Lani Young's books are always a love letter to Samoa while also acknowledging its flaws. There are heavy themes under the surface, like past abuse, and also fatphobia (both self-deprecating and from family) so be aware of those, but this story was still so fun.

Vā: Stories by Women of the Moana (anthology) ★★★★ 3.5

I read snippets of this through the whole year last year and finally finished it. I LOVE the cover art. Per the blurb, it contains stories by "Cook Island, Chamorro, Erub Island (Torres Strait), Fijian, Hawaiian, Māori, Ni-Vanuatu, Papua New Guinean, Rotuman, Samoan and Tongan writers." I think Māori and Samoan had the highest representation but there were plenty from other islands, too. Mostly stories, with some poetry. Mostly contemporary, many of which had heavy themes (abuse, domestic violence, grief and loss), but there were also several myth-based stories and one sci-fi. I can't remember all the stories to pick favorites right now but Lani Young's were among my faves.

DNF - The Story of the Forest by Linda Grant ★★ 2

I waited 2+ months for the hold on this and don't understand why. The book is based on the author's family history, in which Great-Gran Someone, back in Latvia, kissed a Bolshevik boy in the forest one day. The author seemed to want to base a novel around this story, but... there is nothing more to it. The family goes to England, and over several generations works to assimilate and social climb in the most blasé middle class way. I also disliked the 3-person omniscient narration that distances us from the characters (except when a man thinks something perverted, then we're all over that). I couldn't keep going after halfway through.

[xdemonicheartx]

Ive been struggling a lot with my self image to the point I’m having breakdowns in the mirror. I need help from anyone who can.

I’m AFAB agender/non binary and ive got some gripes about me I want help in altering in any way if I could get help finding resources or workouts or anything that would help me achieve a more masculine silhouette I would kiss you on the mouth (with your consent of course )

I am 24 years old, 5’7”/170.18cm, 195lbs/88.5kg, type one diabetic, neurodivergent (diagnosed ADHD, high suspicion of comorbid Autism though i cannot get an official diagnosis because the waitlist closest to home is a 2 year wait as of 2022) fibromyalgia is also present for anyone who needs any context regarding health concerns surrounding medical procedures they might recommend or suggest

Below are the things I need help in changing as a list with some details surrounding my anatomical structure

My goal is to be completely unsure if I’m a male or female with a look alone but with androgyny that can be a pretty broad area. I know if I gain upper body musculature that can help but I cannot afford a gym membership yet

vvv More below vvv

I have an exceptionally voluptuous butt. Its almost comical to me, I would say I’m slim-thick or pear shaped. Its the type of back end that a lot of cis femme women would covet, its mostly muscle tissue due to years of athletics but theres also scar tissue from years of insulin injections

My hips are VERY wide. Like I said I’m pear shaped, I hate the curvy figure I have and its rounded edges, I have small pockets of fat resting on my hips that only add to the figure

I have a very stubborn hormonal fat deposit on my stomach I want to stop oral birth control which is the most likely culprit but I currently cannot until I can get a hysterectomy

I have a muffin top and artificial hip dips due to fat deposits that I am looking to tame

Chest dysphoria, I don’t have large boobs, they’re a perky B/C cup. I would consider top surgery but I don’t know how to bring that up with my partner. I do use a fytist binder and I love how my chest looks flat/with nice pectoral muscle (even if its smushed boob). My partner loves the way I am shaped overall but I do not. (He/him/they/them bisexual)

Facial features are so rounded and I cant contour to save my life. I know losing weight will be seen in the face first but what else can I do?

Speaking of face I have loose skin under my chin thats not a double chin but any type of glance downward makes a pseudo double chin and I’m incredibly insecure about it. I have a relatively feminine jaw line and I have a jaw exerciser/silicone bite that I need to use more. Are neck tucks something available for me?

I have hooded eyes, they make me look so tired. I know eye lid lifts are a procedure but thats something I would need to save up for and plan for, I am unsure if losing weight would change this

The triceps of my arms feel like they’re on the road to bingo wings/bat wings, I know the tricep is supposed to hang freely when relaxed and not in use but when my arm hands at my side there is a bit of pudge above my elbow that says “body fat” and not soft muscle

I understand weight loss can help with a small handful of these and muscle building can too but there are additional features and traits that cannot be worked for aside from medical intervention and cosmetic electives. I’m looking for workouts, medical procedures and price ranges, shapewear, makeup tutorials, diets that help in weight loss or muscle gain, and literally anything else that might help me feel like this is my body. Its becoming a large hinderance on my mental wellbeing

I really cannot keep dwelling on how my body is wrong when its something I am stuck with for life so all I can do is work to alter it and care for it. However I know these alterations are possible. Ive seen incredible transformations and transitions within the trans community and NB communities and I’m really hoping some of your experiences can be passed onto me so that I can live as myself too

I appreciate those that have taken the time to read this far. Thank you

[sirenascelestiales]

Bridgerton thoughts

in general! I liked 3B of Bridgerton more than 3A

season 2 is still the best

I really want Anthony and Kate to have an onscreen vow renewal IN INDIA! Ooor in England with Kate’s cultural customs!

Colin and Pen were great, getting fat girl rep saved me from hating a lot of the season so yeah…idk the book wasn’t much to work with anyway so 😅 that’s all I’ll say

Eloise should become pen pals with Cressida instead of Philip, especially cause I’m learning a lot of what Marina’s actress Ruby Baker went through. Leave that family alone, go with a Gay Eloise!

Pen should apologize to Cressida and! Pen should learn a little more about the situation cause she would sympathize with her! They got so close to getting a convo about women in bad situations but they just…didn’t. glad Colin stood up for his wife but like it was PEN’s dilema let her WORK IT OUT

BI BENEDICT! BI (?) FRANCESCA!

still hoping for a Trans Sophie for Ben and (spoilers for future books/seasons) 👀

🥺🥺🥺

I’m gonna cry when John passes, but I’m so happy they didn’t just do background queer storylines (or are planning on not just leaving it at that) I had little expectations so I’m pleasantly surprised!

[worldwide-blackfolk]

Stephen A. Smith Calls ‘Devil’ Jason Whitlock 'Worse Than a White Supremacist' in 45-Minute Takedown

Stephen A. Smith promised to go in on his former colleague turned enemy Jason Whitlock, and did he ever.

Smith released a teaser clip on Wednesday afternoon revealing he warned his employer ESPN and his family about the vitriol he would direct at Whitlock on his independent podcast. He even contacted his pastor ahead of time to apologize for what he was about to say.

The 56-year-old said he's "sat back for years, at least nine to 10 years," and not uttered a word about Whitlock directly. But with the habitual troll fervently questioning the authenticity of Smith's bestselling January 2023 book Straight Shooter: A Memoir of Second Chances and First Takes, Stephen A. felt it was finally "necessary" to break his silence—with the caveat that it will “never happen again—he’s irrelevant, he’s not important, he’s insignificant, and he knows it."

Early into the nearly 45-minute takedown (which kicks into full gear at the 18:30 mark above), Smith brought up a 2015 Deadspin article which mentions how several ESPN employees, Smith included, refused to work with Whitlock. "Did you tell them that once the same article in Deadspin came out, weeks later, you wrote a lengthy apology to me in an email, begging me to forgive you, pointing out how you were betrayed by this particular writer, so you know how I must feel that you betrayed me?" Smith said at the 27:50 mark. "Did you tell the folks that, you bitch? Did you tell 'em, you fat piece of shit?"

That same year, Smith inked a unique clause in his contract to avoid his nemesis. “I don’t know of anyone who has this in their contracts—I had it in my contract, and I have a copy of it, where it specifically stipulates that I never work with Jason Whitlock," he shared. "It’s in writing. No wonder you didn’t see him on First Take.”

Stephen A. admitted that "once upon a time I actually tried to speak up for this damn cretin," claiming he was just misunderstood. Suffice it to say he no longer feels that way about “this bastard [who] is worth less than a cockroach” and neither "moral" nor "ethical."

Some of Whitlock's uglier moments include peddling conspiracy theories about Michelle Obama being trans, comparing Black Lives Matter to the Ku Klux Klan, and—as recently as December—blasting women's right to vote.

Smith didn't mince words at the 33:30 mark. “As a Black man, I often told y’all, I cannot imagine—as a Black man, knowing our history—anything worse than a white supremacist. That is until Jason Whitlock came along. He's worse than them. He is the worst, most despicable, lying, no-good fatass human being I have ever known in my life."

Is it any wonder people are setting clips to the "Ether" beat?

Other remarks on the latest Stephen A. Smith Show include, “I mean it from my soul when I say this is the worst human being I’ve ever known. … He’s the dude that’s gonna have a funeral and ain’t gonna be no pallbearers. Might be two people that show up.” Elsewhere: "There is nothing good about him. Absolutely nothing. And I challenge anybody that knows anything about him to refute what I’m saying. I have the facts. They’re all here. I know what he’s done." And don't forget: “Look around—don’t y’all notice why Black people scurry away whenever this roach of an individual is around, named Whitlock? 'Cause we know what he is.”

The First Take host saved some of his harshest words for last. “I hate this bastard. ... He is the worst human being any of you will ever meet," Stephen A. said in closing. "You get within a mile of his presence, wrap your arms around yourself to protect your soul. He is Cain. He is a devil. The worst. That’s all I have to say. Y’all have a nice day, I’m gon’ go about my business. I will not speak about this piece of shit again.”

Though Smith promised he's "only going to do it once," the same can't be said of Whitlock, whose Instagram currently looks like a Stephen A. fan page.

"SAS just made a fool of himself," Whitlock, 56, responded to a Twitter user after the podcast went live. "We've never seen anyone at a major media company react this unprofessionally to a review of their work or just act this publicly unprofessional."

As of this publication, Stephen A. Smith's "Finally Responding to Jason Whitlock" clip has racked up a quarter-million views in three hours. Thursday should be fun.

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