#Fake relationship

[googoogagahearteyes]

Just a statistic I’m interested in finding out :)

Like for me it would depend on who it was etc etc but overall still a yes bc it would be funny yknow

[dynamic-power]

The four of them are sitting in Robin's living room watching a movie when Robin's mom pops her head in and says that the pizza had arrived. Steve and Robin stand from the couch immediately, pushing and shoving at each other to get to the kitchen first. Nancy and Eddie stay behind, heads tilted together as they talk and giggle in hushed tones.

By the time Nance and Ed have made it to the kitchen, Robin and Steve have made it back to the couch. Robin's mom joins them after a moment, sitting in one of the chairs they've pulled in from the dining table to seat all five of them.

As Robin reaches over to try and pluck a piece of pepperoni from Steve's pizza, Steve catches Robin's mom watching them with a fond smile and twinkling eyes.

Steve knows that look. That's the look of a mother who thinks Steve is the perfect boyfriend to their daughter.

He spots a flash of curls before the couch sinks down beside him. He can divert Robin's mom's attention and show her that he and Robin really are just friends. Nancy won't mind. She'll understand and play along, so he lets his hand drift out to grip her thigh. "Hey, baby, do you think -"

Only his palm doesn't land on the cotton of Nancy's skirt. It touches rough denim instead.

He should snatch his hand back, should apologize and explain, but as his eyes meet the wide, startled gaze of Eddie, he freezes.

Eddie's eyes flash up to Robin, then to her mom, and Steve realizes that Eddie has understood. A warm palm slides onto his and dexterous fingers flip his hand over and twine with his own. "Think what, sweetheart?"

Gooseflesh rushes up his arm as Eddie's rough thumb begins to stroke his hand, and he swallows down a potentially embarrassing noise. "Um. Do you think your uncle would mind if you stayed with me tonight?"

Eddie smiles at him, wide and bright and disarming. "No, I don't think he'd mind. Parents out of town again?"

Robin's mom has diverted her gaze back to the TV, but Robin and Nancy are now staring at them with wide eyes. He ignores them. "Yeah."

"Big, spooky house too much for you?" Before Steve can reply, Eddie shifts closer to him and settles against Steve's side. "I'll protect you, sweetheart."

They watch the rest of the movie that way. Steve finds it a little odd to finish eating using his wrong hand, but for some reason, he can't bring himself to let go of Eddie.

[sgt-tombstone]

Marriage Fraud

John MacTavish and Kyle Garrick had gotten married at 15:00 on a Tuesday afternoon in October. There was little fanfare; the civil ceremony took place in the Register Office closest to base with Price and Gaz’s sister as witnesses. They had signed their names on the dotted lines with a flourish, had kissed each other through crooked, boyish grins, and that had been that.

John MacTavish and Kyle Garrick hadn’t dated for a single day prior to their nuptials, with the exception of a week-long drunken bet during basic that both of them had been too stubborn to back out of, and their engagement had lasted the legally-required 28 days. It was marriage fraud, plain and simple; the two men had met in basic training and had forged a brotherhood in between grueling days and sporadic nights, and then the pact was formed. Both of them had gotten thoroughly sick and tired of living in the barracks and relying on mess hall food and, without any long-term significant others to pop the question to, they had decided to take matters into their own hands. When they both passed SAS selection, both setting new records, it had seemed like a sign.

The marriage pact had been Kyle’s idea, so Johnny had been the one to propose, if his half-slurred, half-asleep suggestion could even be called a proposal, but Gaz had readily agreed and the next morning, they had burst into Price’s office, demanding both his blessing and presence at the ceremony. His eyebrows had disappeared into his hairline and he had nearly choked to death on his cigar smoke, but he had agreed to both nonetheless.

That had been over three years ago.

In the three years since, as they climbed the ranks from Private to Corporal to Sergeant, the topic of their marriage hardly ever came up. They wore their respective rings, both made from recycled bullet casings, on their right hands instead of their left, and they never mentioned it to anyone. If anyone wondered how they had gotten permission to live off base or why they commuted to work more often than not, no one ever thought to ask them, and they never volunteered any answers. They shared their house like roommates, respecting both each other’s privacy and dating lives, which were few and far between. Dating in the military was hard enough without being Spec Ops, so any relationship either of them ever had never lasted long enough for their fake marriage to ever be remotely close to an issue.

And then the 141 was formed.

It was a dream come true for both of them. They had both already been SAS under Price’s command, but the specialization of the task force brought a certain job security that ensured their continued cohabitation. The SAS’s base of operations was in Herefordshire, so that’s where Soap and Gaz had bought their house, but there had always been the threat of relocation to any of the other British Army bases across the world, and there was no guarantee that they would have been transferred together. The 141, however, was a cohesive unit, a permanent placement. Wherever one went, the rest were sure to follow.

The task force also brought Ghost.

At first, Johnny hadn’t given Ghost much thought, especially where his fake marriage was concerned. Ghost didn’t seem the type to concern himself overmuch with the personal details of his teammates, up to and including their sexual orientations, living situations, or marital statuses. He himself lived off base, courtesy of being a commissioned officer rather than enlisted, and never seemed to devote a first thought, much less a second one, to Soap and Gaz’s own off-base housing. More often than not, they were in the field anyway, which limited nearly every avenue of personal conversation and, after nearly four years of their marriage being little more than a technical detail on a form somewhere, both Soap and Gaz often forgot that they were even married in the first place.

So Soap didn’t think much of it when he started flirting with Ghost over the comms. Ghost was a scary son of a bitch, but that had always been his type, and he couldn’t deny that the mask did something for him. Hell, everything about Ghost did something for him. It had started as banter, really, but Soap loved to toe the line, and it was a slippery slope that he was all too eager to throw himself down. What was truly shocking was Ghost’s own willingness to play along. And then the flirting turned into… more. Turned into casual physical touch that Ghost would’ve slit anyone else’s throat for even thinking about initiating, turned into whispered promises in the backs of helos before missions, turned into kisses pressed into gloved knuckles and masked cheeks.

And suddenly, Soap realized that his marriage might be an issue.

His relationship with Ghost, while technically undefined, was by far the most serious and potentially long-lasting relationship he’d had since signing his marriage license. Most of the people he had dated over the years hadn’t been military and had quickly grown tired of the inconsistency, the missed birthdays and anniversaries, the lack of communication while he’d been on mission, and the lack of leave time in general. But not Ghost, because Ghost got it. Half of the time, Ghost was right there in the field with him. There wasn’t any inconsistency with them, no lack of leave time to grumble over, no shortage of communication between them, both in person and over comms. Their relationship worked for exactly the same reasons why his and Gaz’s non-relationship had worked for so long: they both understood.

And suddenly, Soap realized that, after four years of hiding a marriage to his best friend in the world from quite literally everyone he knew, he’d have to fess up. Not only that, he’d have to file for divorce, which was something that neither he nor Gaz had taken into consideration when they had signed their names in the Register Office all those years ago.

It all came to a head when Johnny got injured in the field. Nothing major, just a few broken bones and a hell of a concussion, but he had woken up to Gaz and Ghost sitting on either side of his hospital bed, Gaz’s clear contrition only matched by Ghost’s clear confusion. The first question out his mouth was why Gaz was listed as Soap’s next of kin and emergency contact, which snowballed into a full confession, corroborated by Price when he stuck his head in to check on Soap a few minutes later.

Ghost, after recovering from his initial shock, found the entire situation hilarious and, months later, after both the divorce papers and the new notice of marriage had gone through, took delight in calling himself Johnny’s second husband, which never failed to make any rookie caught eying the sergeant shake in their boots at the thought of what someone like Ghost did to Johnny’s first husband. Soap and Gaz still wore their rings, because they had always been more like friendship bracelets than anything else, and Johnny’s left ring finger was quickly occupied by a silver ring made from one of Simon’s ID Discs.

Gaz was disappointed about having to move back into on-base housing, but it didn’t last long because Price had been waiting for four years for his sergeants to figure their shit out and file for divorce so that he could make his move and he wasn’t about a waste a single second. And if anyone accused them of moving too quickly, well… they were all military men, after all.

[catofadifferentcolor]

Terrible Fic Idea #92: Percy/Apollo, but make it The Trojan War

Into every fandom, a time travel fic must fall - or in this case a second one, because I somehow got to thinking about the delightful PJO trope of Percy being thrown back in time to The Trojan War and realized that doing so misses out on a fantastic opportunity.

Or: What if post-TOA Percy Jackson and Apollo time travel to shortly before The Trojan War?

Just imagine it:

Everything follows canon through TOA, with one exception: rather than struggle to catch up in the mortal world following the Second Gigantomachy, Percy elects to stay at Camp Half-Blood. There he can homeschool at his own place with programs tailored towards ADHD children and still visit his family on the weekends - and not get into any more ridiculous situations in the mortal world when one of the gods kidnaps him or sends him on a quest to find their sneakers.

This, naturally, stresses his relationship with Annabeth - who, now that she's no longer living at camp full time, calls it the easy way out. But Percy is tired and struggling in mortal high school where everyone thinks he's a delinquent idiot when another option exists seems foolish. Percy and Annabeth break up and drift apart.

Enter Apollo, fresh from his latest stint as a mortal. He's trying to do his best by his children, which includes popping by camp as often as he can get away with - which in turn means spending a lot of time with Percy, who at this point is unofficially running CHB because it's not like Dionysus or even Chiron have done a brilliant job of it in recent times.

(First aid, strategy, and mythology classes are made mandatory. Percy personally ensures every demigod knows enough about self-defense to be able to survive long enough to run away or for help to arrive. Bullying is cracked down on so hard that it's this, not Percy's generally parental nature, that has people calling him Camp Mom.)

Percy and Apollo become friendly. Enough so that some of Apollo's kids assume they're dating and keeping it on the down-low so as not to draw Zeus' ire. Or Poseidon's. Or anyone else's. It's on one of their not-dates that they're yeeted into the past, without warning or explanation.

And so 19-year-old Percy Jackson and post-TOA Apollo find themselves in Ancient Greece c. 1220 BCE, roughly thirty-five years before the destruction of Troy.

The time travel is immediately obvious, as Apollo becomes the closest thing a god might experience to being high the moment they land in the past - being a powerful god in modern times is nothing like being a powerful god at the height of his power in ancient times. It's overwhelming (and somewhat alarming from Percy's POV, but kind of funny in retrospect.)

The specific date is harder to determine, but made clear when Hermes shows up and starts going on about you'll never believe what father's done now: he seduced the Spartan queen as a swan and she's laid an egg. Hera is furious - especially as they're saying the girl that hatched from it is the most beautiful in the world, even though she's only a few days old. It's nuts. By the way, where have you been? You missed the last two council meetings. Do you want Dad to punish you?

Apollo at this stage is very high. He's also been USTing over Percy for quite some time and is worried what the gods of this era might do to Percy without divine protection (smiting or seduction, it's all on the table). But mostly he's very high, and so to keep Percy close and safe he declares he's been off having the dirtiest of dirty weekends with his latest lover and that Hermes' presence is ruining the mood. So if he would kindly leave, please and thank you, he'd really rather get back to it without an audience.

This, naturally, is a surprise to Percy, but he rolls with it because 1) he doesn't have any better ideas on how to get rid of Ancient Greek Hermes so they can figure out what the hades is going on and 2) he's been USTing over Apollo ever since he recovered enough from Tartarus to start feeling attraction again.

Fueled by mutual UST, they put together a cover story that should hold the next time a god with too much prurient interest shows: Percy is now Prince Persē of Gadir - a Phoenician colony that will grow into the future Cadiz - well past the edge of the Greek world at this stage but not beyond belief for Poseidon to have visited, as it's obvious who his father is. They claim his mother is the King of Gadir's youngest sister and as such Persē had a royal upbringing, but was far enough down the line of succession that he was free to chose to sail east and explore his father's homeland. Apollo caught sight of him on his journey, one thing led to another, and here they are.

(Are there easier, more sensible cover stories? Possibly. But the UST refuses to let them consider any of them now that a fake relationship is on the table.)

Deciding what to do about The Trojan War is much harder. On the one hand, it's a lot of senseless death and destruction. On the other, without it we don't get The Iliad and The Odyssey - two of the most influential works of literature in western civilization - and Aeneas doesn't go off to Italy (leading to the founding of Rome, which would change the history of western civilization a lot). In the end, they decide to let the war happen but do their best to mitigate the worst parts of it.

And so Percy goes off and becomes a hero of Ancient Greece while pretending to be in a relationship with Apollo.

This stage of things is filed with angst from both parties, as both Percy and Apollo want a real relationship with each other but think they're abusing the other's trust by eagerly faking their relationship. There's a lot of PDA, a lot of feelings, and limited communication. It goes on for quite a while and would probably exasperate quite a few people if everyone in the know didn't think they were already in a relationship.

It's also filled with modern day Percy being confronted by realties of life in Ancient Greece. It's not just mortals knowing about - and interacting with - the gods: it's everything. It's food and clothes and language and culture and housing and travel. He can play a lot off it as being a traveler from the edge of the known world, but some of it has him asking Apollo if he's being rick rolled.

Apollo, meanwhile, is having troubles of his own. He is not the god he used to be and it's hard pretending otherwise. He tries to walk the line of doing enough to be believable and holding back enough not to despise himself, but it's a fine line, he fails often, and he spends a not insignificant amount of time worried he's backsliding.

And so it goes until 7-year-old Helen of Troy is kidnapped by Theseus to be his wife.

This, naturally, does not fly with Percy, who by this time has built up something of a reputation as a hero. He teams up with the Dioscuri to rescue Helen.

One would think this would earn him Zeus' favor. It doesn't. Instead, Zeus sends monsters to harry him for refusing to let Castor and Pollux take Helen's captors' loved ones captive and raze Aphidna for Theseus' crime. Percy manages to hold his own for quite a while but eventually, exhausted from the near-constant fighting, is gored and left for dead by the reformed Minotaur.

...and when Apollo arrives, frantic, to heal him, Percy ascends instead, becoming the greek version of Saint Sebastian - a minor god of heroes, strength in the face of adversity, and athleticism; sort of halfway between Hercules and Chiron.

Then and only then do Percy and Apollo finally get their act together, confessing to each other how much they care for the other and how much they don't want this to be fake any longer.

History proceeds apace - albeit with Persē being a second immortal trainer of heroes.

24 years after their arrival in the past, 16 years after Percy's ascension, The Trojan War begins. Despite their best efforts, there's only so much they can do - war is war and gods are gods. They are able to stop some of the worst excesses on both sides, but in the end Apollo still sends the plague that causes Agamemnon to take Briseis for his own, which caused Achilles' departure from the field, Patroclus' death, &c - not because Apollo was trying to maintain the timeline, but because in the instant he sent it he was angry and reverted to his old ways.

Troy falls...

...but when Zeus tries to use this as an excuse to ban gods from interacting with their demigod children, Apollo is able to say that's a bit extreme isn't it? with enough backing from the rest of the council that Zeus is forced to amend his ruling so that the gods are only allowed to freely visit their children on the "cross quarter days" that fall between each solstice and equinox (1 February, 1 May, 1 August, and 1 November).

This changes everything and nothing.

Time continues its inevitable march. Greece has its golden age before being conquered by Rome, which splits apart under its own weight and forms several smaller countries, which eventually spread their cultures around the world...

Apollo and Percy are there for it all. Persē is a minor figure in mythology, but never forgotten. He is ever-present in Apollo's temples - though the Church will later try to rewrite their myth so that they were merely sworn fighting partners, rather than lovers who eventually had a quite lovely wedding on Olympus (and then, at Poseidon's insistence, an even bigger ceremony on Atlantis). Percy takes over day-to-day operations of CHB from practically the moment the Trojan War ends.

...and so Persē is there the day Sally Jackson tries to get her son to camp, and is able to intervene when the Minotaur attacks on their border. He's able to meet her and her young son, Perseus ("Mom named me after you and the guy that killed Medusa since you're the only two heroes to have happy endings!"), and guide him through the trials that come with being a child of prophecy.

One day that Percy will hand Luke - who was never happy with the limited attention the gods were allowed to give their children - a cursed dagger so that Kronos can be defeated. That child will be offered godhood, turn it down, and go on to have a happy life with his eventual wife, Annabeth. He will never have his memories erased and be sent to Camp Jupiter. Gaia will not rise until long after that Percy's grandchildren are dead, and Zeus will not be quite so bullheaded when the proof of it is brought before him. That Second Gigantomachy is swift, well-coordinated, and fought without another Greek/Roman war brewing in the background.

And when they finally arrive at the day Apollo and Percy were originally sent back in time, Percy admits that while he is happy some version of him was better prepared for the war he was asked to fight in and allowed his peace afterward, he would change nothing about his own life, for it brought him to Apollo. The sunrise the next morning - on the first morning of the rest of their lives - is particularly spectacular.

Bonuses include:

Gaslighting Poseidon into believing that he's met Percy before the first time they're introduced. ("What do you mean you don't remember me, Father? You were present when I came of age! You gifted me this trident! Have I displeased you in some way?") It's an absolute masterclass that eventually manages to convince Poseidon that, yes, of course he knows Percy - and, maybe, he should check in on all his other demigod children to make sure he's not missed someone. (Two. He lost track of two of the others. Maybe he should be more careful about siring children in the future.) Apollo practically has to stuff his fist in his mouth to keep from laughing.

As much historical accuracy as can be crammed into the Percy trying to make sense of Ancient Greece chapters as possible. Think Of a Linear Circle - Part III by flamethrower levels of historical research. As much as can be shoehorned in without bogging down the plot.

Percy and Dionysus bonding over their mutual dislike of Theseus, though Percy generally gets along with his other half-siblings, especially the ones who come to camp young enough to keep from getting big heads over being the children of Poseidon.

Though Percy adores all the children in Cabin 7 (most of whom are born via blessing this time around), he and Apollo have at least one child of their own - maybe a demigod born before Percy's ascension to sell their fake relationship? Maybe a minor god who's later attributed a different parentage by mortals? Dealer's choice on details.

It never being made clear who, or what, or how, Percy and Apollo were sent into the past. All of Percy's oddities are attributed to him being foreign or formerly mortal, all of Apollo's to the fact that he's in love with someone who didn't die before their first anniversary, and no one ever guesses time travel is responsible for their eccentricities. Or that time travel was ever an option.

And that's all I have. As always, feel free to adopt, just link back if you ever decide to do anything with it.

More PJO Ideas | More Terrible Fic Ideas

[lionneee]

Perfect Match

English is not my first language, please be kind

Masterlist

Taglist

•Warnings: oral sex, fake relationship, talking of sexual themes, oral sex, smut.•

Modern!Aemond x Fem!Reader

Part One -> Part Two -> Part Three -> Part Four -> Part Five

Getting drunk was actually something they enjoyed doing with the rest of their friends.

Inebriate every sense of the body and forget about everything. 

It was her best moment of her weekends.

Aemond started enjoying it the first time he went to a club with her, or to a party. 

“Fuck, yes!” She moaned loudly as she kept jumping on his cock, looking at herself in the mirror as they sat on a stranger's bed.

“Yeah, keep riding me like that — Fuck, yes -“ He moaned as he looked at her ass wiggling every time she sank back down.

She got all hornied up and she couldn’t keep her hands off of him.

Tonight was no exception.

After sitting on his thight for at least half an hour, making out with him as there was no end, she grabbed his hand and dragged him into the bathroom.

They could hear that one of the cabinet was already occupied with someone already fucking in there, but she didn’t budge, she simply opened another cabin, the one as far as the other and pushed him against the wall.

She smiled up at him as she started kissing his chest, making Aemond's eyes flutter shut, his breathing becoming more ragged. He gripped the back of her neck, holding her against his chest, his fingers tangling in her hair, gently pulling on it.

"Keep going, baby. Don't stop." He groaned as she hummed, kissing him lower and lower.

Aemond's grip on her neck tightened as she kept moving lower on his body, his breathing becoming more labored as his skin burned where her lips touched. 

"Goddamn, baby. You really know how to get me going." He groaned lowly, his hands pushing her head lower.

She smiled as he stepped forward, away from the wall and put his hand on the top of her head, holding your hair, guiding you just inches from the bulge in his pants. 

He swallowed hard, his voice coming out in a hoarse whisper

"Go on, baby. You know what I want."

She knelt on the floor as she unbuckled his belt, taking it off slowly as she looked up at him with her sweet, innocent eyes. He knew she was everything but.

Aemond watched her with rapt attention, his eyes darkened with lust as she undid his belt. He bit back a moan as his eyes met her, her innocent and sweet gaze combined with her position was enough to make his head reel.

"Don't tease me, baby." He warned, his voice tense. She took off his belt slowly, licking the full length as she pulled it off.

Aemond's breath hitched as she took off his belt, he gripped the base of her hair, his fingers tight in her locks, watching the way she worked. It was torturous, watching her tease him like that.

"Goddamn, princess. Stop playing around." He growled, his voice tight "I want those lips on me, now."

She kept smirking as she slowly unbuttoned his pants, kissing the skin  just above the waistband of his pants.

Aemond closed his eyes, his head tilted back against the wall as he felt her lips on his skin, he sucked in a harsh breath, trying to hold back all the curses that wanted to come out.

He was incredibly turned on.

What she was doing to him, teasing him like that, the anticipation of what he knew she was going to do mixed with the moans of the other couple fucking was all extremely erotic, and he could feel it in his pants.

"Jesus Christ, baby. You're a goddamn tease." He groaned, his fingers still holding her hair tightly. She looked up at him with a smile, a true smile that she rarely had.

She was beautiful.

He knew she only gave him that smile because she was drunk and light headed, but that didn’t make his heart flutter less.

She pulled down his pants, along with his boxers, caressing his thighs as the clothes fell on the floor.

A guttural sound escaped his lips. He leaned his head back, his eyes squeezed close, his breathing becoming ragged as he tried to compose himself

“Just fucking take it.” He hissed  his hand still gripping her hair as he forced her to take him, putting his hands on each side of her head to control her movements. She hummed as she closed her eyes, savoring him, wrapping her hand around his cock and squeezing him at the base. Aemond let out a loud moan as she licked him, his hips involuntarily bucking forward.

He gripped her head tighter, his fingers digging into the back of her hair as he started to take control, his breathing ragged as he started moving her head back and forth, his hips coming to meet her.

"God, baby. You're so goddamn perfect." He gasped as he started to move his hips with urgency, trying to push deeper into her mouth, his body burning with need. "Fuck, baby. You're so damn good at this.” He panted as he looked down at her, seeing the list in her eyes. 

Their sounds were mixing with the other couple’s, the bathroom was filled with pants, occasional banging at the walls and the musing from outside.

“Do you like it when I take control like this? Mh?" His last word was accentuated with a deeper thrust, the tip of his cock hitting the back of her throat, making her gag. She moaned around him as he slipped his hands in her hair, pulling them slightly. “Do you like it when I use you like the whore you are?” He growled as he moved her head, watching her eyes flutter closed, her hand on the base of his cock squeezing him a bit tighter. He grunted as he yanked her wrist away, pulling it behind her with a silent order to keep her arm on her back.

Aemond's eye closed tighter and he let out a low, guttural moan as he hit the back of her throat again. The way she was taking him was driving him crazy, and he wanted nothing more than to see the silhouette of his cock from her neck as he choked her on it.

"Yeah, baby. Suck it. Suck it like it’s your favorite candy." He growled, his hands pulling her head forward, forcing himself deeper into her mouth as she swirled her tongue around him, obeying him and sucking him harder with a little whine, her hand reaching between her legs as she started rubbing her clit from over her panties.

He started to move his hips faster, his eye catching the movements of her hand, making him moan.

"That's it, baby. Touch yourself as I fuck your mouth. Take everything I give you." He panted as he threw his head back, his hands on her hair tightening. "Do you like it when I take control like this? Do you like it when I use you?" He looked down at her again, his voice low and strained as she moaned and whined as she tried to control her gag reflex as she never stopped sucking him.

He moaned when he saw her trying her best as she took him deep into her mouth as he saw her hand moving faster between her legs. It drove him wild, seeing her so eager to please him, seeing how much she’s enjoying him taking control, using her so freely.

"Fucking hell, baby. You're so good at this. I could keep you down there all night, just using your mouth like that." He grunted, his words coming out in a low, strained tone as he thrust his hips forward, pushing himself even deeper into her mouth. She moaned even louder as she pushed her head forward until her nose pressed against his pubic bone. She stayed there for a few seconds, moving her head from side to side, making Aemond let out a choked moan. He pulled her back for a moment, slipping two of his fingers deep in her mouth and pressing down. "Is this where you like it?" He panted. “You like to take cocks in your mouth?” He pulled his fingers out of her mouth and grabbed her by her neck.

He looked down at her, his eyes dark with desire as she started rubbing herself on his ankle, rubbing her hips desperately as she grinded her wet core on him, seeking the perfect friction to make herself cross the edge. 

“Yes baby —“ He moaned as he looked at her. “Fuck yourselves on me. Rub yourself until you come.” He groaned as she moved even faster, her lips never letting him go, her tongue caressing what fit in her mouth as she whined louder, her legs shaking slightly, her hands gripping his thighs tightly, digging her nails in his skin. He saw her forcing herself to rub again and again, stopping only after a loud moan, panting as she tried to keep sucking him as she came down from her high.

"You won't be able to talk tomorrow, baby." He snarled, completely turned on by the sight of her coming on his ankle. He stepped forward. “But don’t worry, I’ll bring you hot tea in your bed tomorrow if you’ll be good enough now.” He bent his knees and pushed his cock all the way down in her throat with a loud moan. "That's right, princess. Take it all in. Be my good girl.” He growled. "I know you can do this. You'll take everything I give you, won't you?" She moaned desperately as she moved her tongue on him, grabbing his balls in her hand and pulling slightly.

Aemond's breath hitched as she grabbed his stones, a low gasp escaping his lips as she moved her tongue on him, her hand pulling slightly. His body tenses, overwhelmed by the sensation, his mind hazy with pleasure

"Goddamn, baby. You're going to make me lose my

mind." He groaned, his eyes shutting tightly as he threw his head back, his hands holding her head in place

"Keep doing that. Don't stop." he pleaded, his voice strained with pleasure.

She pulled his balls again, massaging them in his hands, choking around him as tears ran down her face, and saliva ran down her chin, making a little pool on the floor. Aemond moaned loudly as she touched his balls, the sight of her choking around him, is too much for him to handle, but when he felt her finger slip behind his ball, pressing dangerously close to his asshole and putting pressure, it was definitely over for him.

“God —“

He kept her head firmly in his hands as he gave the few last thrusts before coming inside her mouth.

“Swallow. I want to see you swallow.” He ordered as he arched forward, still spanning from his orgasm as he saw a bit of his semen spill from her lips. She moaned loudly as she licked him, her mouth warm with his sperm as she swallowed everything.

Aemond watched her, his eyes darkened with pleasure, his chest heaving as he slowly pulled out of her mouth, his body trembling.  He looked down at her, his hands moving to gently caress her face, wiping away the tears and the saliva from her chin. "Holy fuck." He said quietly, his voice hoarse. She stood up, smiling and chuckling as she showed him her tongue, white by his semen. She swallowed as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Her drunken happiness was contagious, and he found himself smiling back at her as he fixed his boxers and pants.

“You’re crazy.” He tried to be a bit grumpy, but it only came out as a silly mock, that only made her chuckle more. He shook his head as he took her hand and pulled her out of the cabin, walking back to the table with all of their friends. He sat on a chair as he watched her taking a drink, hopefully hers, and drink it all down in one gulp. She turned around, ready to walk back to the dancing floor but he caught her hand.

“Stay with me.” He ordered. He looked up at her as she hesitated.

“Are you feeling needy, baby?” She chuckled as she sat on his thigh, her legs between his. He shook his head, trying to feel annoyed, but when she looked so happy it became difficult.

He rarely saw her like this.

“Shut up.” He grunted as he grabbed her face in his hand and pulled her down for a kiss.

Taglist: @ka1afbr @cynic-spirit @ladythornofrivia @zenka69 @queenofthekeep @adorewhatever @diannnnsss @kotadislikesthissite @iloveallmyboys @valyrianflower @dixie-elocin @gelacat0413 @quinquinquincy @mamawiggers1980 @darylandbethfanforever9 @rhaethoughts @believeinthefireflies95 @urfavnoirette @summerposie @sk1mah1 @queenofshinigamis @anukulee @chlmtfilms @m-riaa @p45510n4f4shi0n

[yellowbrokenblue]

„Just… Pretend.”

summary: in which harry convinces you to spend your summer in cape cod with his parents as his ‘girlfriend.’ but everything is just pretend, your not actually his girlfriend and you never have wanted to be his girlfriend, you’ve never seen him as more than harry styles, the singer… but by the end of the summer will that change?

tropes (so far) : fake dating

part one

“It’s just for one weekend.” He pleaded, “Then you can go back to hating me. You never even have to talk to me again, I don’t care.”

You sigh, your head falling backwards with a groan. You did not want to do this at all, but he’d been persistently asking you for days.

“C’mon, please?”

You roll your eyes, “You’re on a date with a new girl every week, I’m sure any of them would be up for it.”

“I can’t just take anyone to my parent’s place.”

“Why not? Or how about you just tell them you’re not seeing anyone right now? They won’t care.”

“I just need you to come, alright? I’ll owe you one, I promise.”

“Why me? There’s a million other people you could take, besides I’ve already met your parents at a show, they’ll never believe we’re seeing each other.”

“And they really liked you!”

“There’ll be a ton of other people that they like too, Harry. Choose anyone else.”

“I can’t.” He sighs.

“You can.”

“I can’t.” He repeats.

You look at him with tired eyes, awaiting his explanation. You’d been over this a hundred times, you had no interest in pretending to be his girlfriend while he visited his parents over the summer.

“I already told them we’re together.” He says quietly, avoiding eye contact.

“What?” You scoff, “You’ve gotta be joking.”

“They just… They met you at the show, and they really did seem to like you, and they kept going on and on about how they want me to find someone who makes me happy and stuff and I shut them up by saying we’re together…”

“You’re unbelievable.” You say, annoyed.!

The fact he’d been telling his parents ridiculous lies without even telling you about it, when said lies actually involved you had pissed you off.

Harry’s parents were lovely, and a producer on his latest album you’d met them a couple times at shows- Especially during the LA residence where you and his parents sat through the concerts in a VIP booth. His mum was lovely, always smiling and knew every single lyric. She told you that she was in Harry’s 0.5% of top listeners on Spotify last year.

You thought that was cute.


You couldn’t relate though, 5 Seconds of Summer were your top Spotify artist- Harry could never find out about that.

“They’ve been asking for me to take you to the beach house for months-“

“Months?!” You interrupt, “How long have you been telling them we’re together?”

He shrugged, “Since the end of the Forum residency?”

“Harry that was SIX months ago!” You yell, “I can’t pretend to be in a six month relationship with you, that’s ridiculous.”

He sits down on the couch, hugging a pillow.

“Yes you can. You practically know everything about me already. We spent every day of the tour together.”

“Everything about you in a career aspect.”

“Everything in general.” Harry corrects, “Sometimes I think you know more about me than I do.”

“I don’t. You’re just saying this because you’re convincing yourself that this ridiculous idea will actually work.”

“Name my first pet.”

“What?” You question. He was being stupid. There is no way you’d ever be able to spend two weeks with his parents over the summer, it was never going to work. It was a recipe for disaster.

“C’mon. You know the answer.”

He just kept staring at you. He wasn’t giving up. The longer you stayed silent the more intense his stare got. When he began to raise his eyebrows you’d given up.

“Max.” You mutter quietly, unimpressed with this whole game he was playing.

“And what am I allergic to?”

“Marshmallows, but you eat them anyway.”

Harry was grinning, and it was pissing you off. He was winning and he knew it.

“My favourite Christmas song?”

You rolled your eyes, “Christmas lights by Coldplay, but you tell everyone that it’s Merry Christmas Everyone because it’s a classic.”

Harry was giving you a ‘I told you so’ look. He wasn’t going to quit until you agreed to pretend to be his girlfriend.

You sigh softly, “Even if I agree to this… It could he really damaging for my career.”

“No one will find out.” His face was more serious now, and you could tell from the way he was looking at you that he meant it, “I’ll make sure of that.”

“But if if does-”

“It won’t.”

“But if it does, because there’s always a chance no matter what you think, then everyone will only think I got hired to tour manage because we’re ‘sleeping together.’” You say, using air quotes, just to further elaborate that this was all fake.

Harry had already got his grammy, he was at the peak of his career he’d be fine no matter what happened. But you were a female music producer in a male dominated industry, if people think you were only hired for this album because you’re fucking the singer- your career was over.

“If people find out I’ll kill you.”

“Does this mean you’re gonna agree?”

You nod, reluctantly.

“Thank you!” He jumps out of his chair, “I swear I’ll make it up to you, thank you so much.”

— — —

If you were in Harry’s position you’d be vigilant of everything, everyone, everywhere. You’d be paranoid of someone jumping through your bedroom window while you were asleep. But Harry was oddly calm. Maybe he was just like that. His lips were formed almost in a smile while he slept, and his eyes were moving under his eyelids- probably from a dream he was having. He wasn’t calm very often- recently he’d been very on edge and anxious about everything, it was nice to see him look so peaceful. You hoped for that sort of peace someday soon.

You had been in the studio going on six hours, and when he’d taken a break from recording so you could go over the tracks he’d managed to fall asleep in that short period of time.

You let him sleep while you packed up the equipment, putting things back into their assigned places, and didn’t bother waking him up until you were 100% ready to go.

“Harry,” You said softly, shaking his shoulder lightly, “Harry we gotta go.”

His eyes opened and he blinked a few times to adjust himself to the light.

“Huh?”

“We only had the studio booked until six, we gotta go.”

“Oh,” He sat up, stretching his arms and cracking his neck that had went into a cramp, “Sorry, don’t even remember falling asleep to be honest.”

“Don’t worry about it,” You shrug, “We got enough done today anyways. You deserve a rest.”

There were only three days left until the day Harry had said you were leaving for his parents place, and you had skipped over the subject every time he’d tried to bring it up. You didn’t really want to think about it because you were dreading it so badly.

“I’ll give you a ride home.” Harry said as you left the studio building.

“No, it’s alright.” You say, “I’ll just get an Uber.”

Harry glared at you, “Y/N, just get in the car.”

You glare back. But it had been a long day so getting a free lift wasn’t so bad.

“So.” He said, starting the car. “We gotta go over some things.”

“About the album?” You play dumb.

“… No.” He rolls his eyes, “Stop pretending you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“I’m not pretending.”

“Love, you gotta tell me some stuff about you. My parents are gonna ask me shit and I don’t have a clue what to tell them.”

You groan. You should’ve stuck to your gut and got an Uber.

“Like what.”

He shrugs, “What’s your favourite colour?”

“Purple.” You reply.

“Mines is blue.”

“I know,” You reply.

“What’s your favourite song?” He asked.

You laughed to yourself a little.

“Jet black heart,” You grin, knowing you’d get some sort of reaction out of this answer, “By 5 Seconds of Summer.”

“5 Seconds of Summer?” Harry scoffs, “They’re punks!”

You roll their eyes, “They turned to pop music and half of them are married, they’re hardly punks.”

“You know one of them dated my sister, right?” Harry groaned.

“Yep,” You grin, “And wrote a banging tune about it as well.”

“Don’t remind me.” He muttered.

“Look, you asked me a question and I gave you an honest answer. You can’t complain.”

“I know, I know.” Harry said, “You got any exes?”

You raise your eyebrows, “What?”

“This is the kind of stuff I need to know! Like I dunno if I’m your first boyfriend and all that.”

“Harry… I’m 24 years old. You’re not my first boyfriend.”

You said it almost as if he was your boyfriend. It sent a chill down your spine. This was going to be a long few weeks.

“Good to know.” He said.

He dropped you off outside your apartment.

“I guess the next time I see you will be for when we’re leaving, yeah?”

You nod. There was no studio session booked until after his vacation to Cape Cod, where his families beach house was, so he was right. The next time you see him would be at the airport.

“Flights at seven.” He says.

“Got it.”

The next few weeks were going to be hell.

part two coming soon…

support me through ko-fi! (buy me a coffee!!)

[frickingnerd]

fake dating leo valdez

pairing: leo valdez x gn!reader

tags: fake relationship, mostly wholesome fluff with angst/doubts at the end (leo worrying his crush on reader isn't mutual)

leo never had to pretend like he was in love with you, because he really has been in love with you for years!

he had always watched you and your boyfriend, thinking about how it would be to take his place and call you his

but when your boyfriend broke up with you and began to date one of your siblings, you wanted to show just how unbothered you were about the whole situation!

and that's when you asked leo to pretend to be your boyfriend!

leo had been a good friend of yours and you knew that he wouldn't be too shy to hold your hand or kiss you, so nobody would realize you weren't an actual couple!

suddenly, leo's fantasies about being your boyfriend became reality! or at the very least, he got to live out these fantasies, even if it was only for a little while

since you gave him permission to touch you in public – whether it was hugs, kisses or holding your hand – leo didn't hold back!

he always held your hand or had an arm wrapped around you, even when your boyfriend was nowhere to be seen

and with time, the kisses and compliments he whispered in your ear began to became more as well. of course, only to ‘keep up the act’ and not because he actually meant any of it… right?

but slowly, leo began to want more. he knew it was selfish, but he couldn't help but wish you two could be like this, even when nobody was watching. perhaps, you could even take the next step…

but whenever he had those thoughts, he had to remind himself that this was just pretend. at least, it was for you. or at least, that was what leo thought…

[prettygirl-gabi]

Partners-In-Crime

---

---

Rating: General Audiences

Warning: angst (like very substantial amount), fluff, happy ending

Category:F/M

Fandom: Seventeen (SVT), boyband

Relationships: !idol Mingyu x !idol f reader

Summary: In a whirlwind of fake dating to avoid breached contract lawsuit, Mingyu and Y/n navigate growing feelings, blurring lines between pretend and real.

Trope: Fake dating

---

Hiiiii everyone who is reading! Welcome to the ninth installment of my new mini series called "Oi! Not this again!" They do not have to be read together or in order! I hope you all enjoy!

I never really thought I’d find myself in this situation: fake dating one of the hottest idols in South Korea. Yet, here I am, sipping an iced caramel macchiato in a corner cafe, pretending that being next to Mingyu from SEVENTEEN is the most natural thing in the world. In reality, my heart is racing, and not in the good way.

“Y/N, could you, like, pretend to be happy?” Mingyu whispers through a tight smile, his voice barely audible over the ambient music and chatty customers. His dark eyes flicker with a mix of annoyance and desperation.

“I am happy,” I snap quietly, struggling to adjust the fake smile plastered on my face. “Well, as happy as I can be, considering I’m fake dating you.”

A little louder than intended, I notice a few heads turn our way. I can feel the pressure mounting. We’re supposed to be the doting couple everyone envies, yet the tension between us is thicker than the whipped cream on my drink.

His fingers drum impatiently on the table, the dull thud echoing my pounding heart. “This was your idea, remember? To throw off the media frenzy surrounding both of us.”

Sure, using the classic “fake dating” trope to divert media attention seemed brilliant in theory. We both had enough scandals and rumors hovering around us to last a lifetime. Pairing up would squash at least half of them.

Mingyu suddenly leans in, looking intently at the menu stuck between the salt and pepper shakers, but I know he isn’t paying attention to the array of overpriced sandwiches. “Y/N, if we don’t pull this off, Dispatch is going to have a field day. Again.”

I sigh, slumping back in my chair. “I know, I get it. But couldn’t we have found another way?”

He opens his mouth to argue but instead, a genuine laugh escapes his lips. “Like what? Publicly announce we’re focusing on our careers and ask for privacy?” The sarcasm in his voice isn’t lost on me.

“Okay, fair point.” I roll my eyes but can’t help a small smile. “So what’s the plan now, Mr. Perfect?”

His grip tightens on the table edge before he looks up with a smirk. “We’ve got a photoshoot tomorrow morning for a ‘couple’ branding campaign. We just need to act like we’re head-over-heels for each other, got it?”

I groan inwardly. Nothing like forced intimacy to kickstart a beautiful, fake relationship. “This is going to be a disaster.”

“Only if you make it one,” he teases, his smirk widening. He leans back in his chair, crossing his arms smugly. “Or maybe you’re just afraid you’ll actually fall for my irresistible charm?”

I snort. “Keep dreaming, pretty boy.”

==

The next morning arrives faster than I’d like. The cosmetics studio is buzzing with activity. Staff members rush around, juggling makeup palettes and camera equipment, their energy palpable.

“Y/N! Mingyu! Over here!” the director waves us over to a pristine white set, where we’re expected to coo and swoon

“Showtime,” Mingyu whispers in my ear. His peppermint breath sends an involuntary shiver down my spine. This fake boyfriend thing is harder than it looks.

I force a smile, slipping my fingers through his as we pose for the cameras. Each flash feels like a dagger, reminding me this isn’t real. But for the sake of our careers, we plaster on the affection.

“Y/N, could you look at Mingyu like he’s the best thing that ever happened to you?” the photographer instructs, eyes focused behind the lens.

Like he’s the best thing that ever happened to me? Easy. I turn, my gaze softening as if on cue. As much as Mingyu frustrates me, he’s also been my confidant and partner-in-crime through this chaotic idol life. Maybe this won’t be so hard after all.

Mingyu meets my eyes, his expression unexpectedly tender. The lines of his face soften, making the acting feel less like an act.

We’re mid-pose when Mingyu decides to speak. “You know, you’re not as bad at this as I thought you’d be,” he says, his voice just loud enough for me to hear.

I raise an eyebrow, still maintaining my “loving” gaze for the photographer. "What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, nothing. Just that maybe we should fake date more often. You’re adorable when you’re pretending.”

I falter, the smile slipping slightly. “Watch it, Mingyu.”

==

The hours pass and the shoot finally wraps. We receive a round of applause for our “chemistry,” and Mingyu pulls me into a side hug, his hand resting on my shoulder. Pretending becomes so much easier with each click of the camera.

“Good job today,” he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper, tinged with genuine warmth.

For a moment, I almost forget we’re pretending. Almost.

“We pulled it off, didn’t we?” I muse, pressing my temple against his arm briefly before pulling away.

“Yeah,” he admits, his eyes locking onto mine. “We make a pretty good team, Y/N.”

Something in his gaze makes my heart stutter. It feels like he’s trying to say more, like he’s testing unfamiliar waters.

“Yeah, well don’t get used to it. This is still a temporary arrangement.” I remind myself more than him, with a fleeting half-smile.

==

Weeks roll by, and the line between fiction and reality starts to blur. Mingyu and I are inseparable, seen at award shows, interviews, seen leaving our "shared" house, and even the occasional late-night ramen shop. The media loves us. Fans dub us “the power couple of the decade.”

One evening, as we rehearse a choreographed routine for an upcoming awards show performance, the tension boils over. Mingyu’s patience breaks first.

“Y/N, you’re a step behind!” he snaps, frustration evident as he stops mid-spin. “We’ve done this a thousand times, what’s going on with you?”

Anger flares in my chest. “I’m sorry if I'm not perfect like you, okay?”

He throws his hands up in exasperation. “It’s not about being perfect, it’s about working together!”

“You think I don’t know that?!” I shout back, breathless. “This whole thing...it's draining, Mingyu. Maybe fake dating wasn't the best idea after all. Maybe…”

“Maybe what?” he challenges, stepping closer. “Maybe we should just end it? Announce it was all a prank?”

The space between us crackles with unspoken words, and I take a small step back, my chest heaving. “Maybe.”

His eyes search mine, the anger simmering into something else entirely—something raw and real. “And what if I don’t want it to end?”

Time stands still as his words hang in the air. The intensity in his gaze makes my heart race for an entirely different reason.

“What exactly are you saying?” I finally ask, needing clarity even if it feels terrifying.

He takes a deep breath, before lifting my head with his thumb on my chin and two under. “I’m saying...I don’t think this was ever just fake for me. And I don’t want it to be.”

My breath catches. Neither of us moves. The air feels charged and heavy with possibility.

“Me neither,” I admit, my voice barely a whisper, finally understanding the depth of my feelings.

A slow, almost relieved smile spreads across his face, and he reaches for my hand, linking our fingers together much like the first time we “acted” in love. Only now, it feels unforced, genuine.

The journey to real from fake has been messy, fraught with disagreements and tension, but standing here, looking into his eyes, I realize it was worth every moment.

“Looks like we’ve got a new script to follow,” Mingyu murmurs, his thumb caressing the back of my hand.

I smile, leaning into the comforting warmth of his presence. “Yeah, and this time, we don’t have to pretend.”

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

‐Thank You For Reading!🩵🩶

-prettygirl-Gabi✨️🎀

[hanasnx]

that girl

PART ONE ✩ PART TWO WORD COUNT: 0.9k WARNINGS: f!reader | suggestive | fake relationship | love triangle

Ever since you'd first started hanging around JJ MAYBANK the other Kooks of Figure Eight have voiced their concern. Every word and every insult has been thrown around to describe him so as to convince you not to "waste your time with him." The mouth of RAFE CAMERON is especially foul. "I'm jus' looking out for you, that's all." he'd insist, and he's shown his concern by towing you along with a harsh grip on your upper arm.

It's no secret that Rafe's interest in you is selfish. He's told you in many ways that you belong with someone from your side of the island, not a delinquent who'll end up just like his slum father. Of course, he hasn't explicitly specified who exactly you should have you eyes on in Figure Eight.

There's something about the way Ward pushes you together, as if you're good for Rafe. Not just Ward, but Sarah and Wheezie love you. They cling onto your arms and tell you about how they wish you were part of the family already, grossly misinterpreting your relationship with their brother. Sarah rolls her eyes at how Rafe talks when he's around you, how he's on edge and slightly more neurotic because he "likes you so much it's embarrassing." Playful and innocent, yet they put you at unease, teaching you to suspect Rafe's oncoming confession.

It's gotten to the point where you're afraid to be alone with him. That he'll confess his feelings for you, or respond poorly when you reject him. Actively avoiding him whenever you're in the same vicinity because the pressure is just too much. However, he's determined, and when he corners you inside at the Midsummer's, you run through a list of excuses at a record pace.

"... and I just think it's time we go out—"

You interrupt him with possibly the worst option on the wheel your brain had spun. "Rafe, I have a boyfriend." Blurting it out in a flinch, readying for his inevitable meltdown. He's not known for being stable. An indignant, knowing glint flashes in his eyes as he refocuses on you, taken aback at the prospect of you belonging to someone else.

"Well, who?"

You're reminded of the back of JJ's head when you'd spotted him sneaking in earlier. "C'mon, you should know already." In an attempt to be lighthearted, you push at his arm but he's immovable and unresponsive, glancing at your contact as if it's unwanted. Embarrassed, you drop your arm, and give him a shrug, "It's JJ." you say in a forced laugh. The silence is killing you as he processes your words, lips pressed into a thin line. Tentatively, you crawl across the wall, inching out of the space he caged you in. "I should... get back to him. Excuse me." your tone feathers out, and you escape, power-walking back to the outside where people are. You leave him staring at the wall with his knuckle to his mouth in thought.

You crane your neck, searching bobbing heads for the one of familiar blonde hair. Miraculously, you spot him on the dancefloor, rounding Sarah. Hiking up your dress, you hurry to his location, and usher him aside. "Sorry, Sarah, be right back." you assure her.

"Hey, easy, you'll get it crinkled." JJ scolds you, straightening out his waiter get-up indignantly. Without thinking, you hand claps over his mouth and he furrows his brows at you, scanning your figure.

"I don't have time to explain, but I need you to be my fake boyfriend—"

The crease in his brows deepen at the notion, minutely shaking his head under the pressure of your palm. "Uh-uh!"

"Please, JJ, I need your help—"

He smacks your hand off, "Are you kidding me?" he questions, too loud for comfort, and to evade making a scene you drag him further away while shushing him.

"You don't understand, just for a little bit!" you beg, clutching onto his clothes as he continuously pushes you off, intent to back up and away. You chase him.

"No, no way, princess. You know what the white knights of Figure Eight'll do to me if they find out a dick from the Cut is your sweetheart? I've got enough heat on me as is." If it were under different circumstances, maybe, but his friends have assured him the less attention on him the better. Not while they're in the middle of a treasure hunt, and less eyes means less competition. Certainly not something he can disclose with you, and you hound after him as he furthers from the centroid of the party. A door opens, and Rafe comes into your view. You jump into overdrive, diving onto JJ to pull him out of Rafe's peripheral. "The hell—?"

"That's Rafe, that's Rafe. God, please, JJ. If you just pretend you're my boyfriend in front of Rafe maybe he'll leave me alone?" You upturn your brows, begging him while his back is to the wall. Bewildered, he stares at you a second before looking around the corner. He licks his lips. The chance to get back at Rafe psychologically sounds pretty good right now, and the way you throw yourself at him ain't bad either. He locks eyes with you again, giving you a once-over in your pretty Midsummer dress. "Please?" you sigh. "JJ. Please?"

His nostrils flare when he sucks in a breath, pursing his lips. "Damnit. Damnit, alright. Enough with those eyes, are you kidding me? I'll do it."

You expel a breath in relief, tossing yourself at him to wind your arms around his neck. "Thank you! Thank you, thank you,"

"Alright, alright." He peels you off of him. "Don't get all happy with me, you've gotta remember I make the rules here."

You shouldn't have agreed to his rules so readily. Like an idiot, you had told him you're down for whatever it takes and he took that seriously. Now you're subjected to his every whim. A small part of you deems it's worth it, especially seeing Rafe's face after JJ made out with you and grabbed your ass for the first time in front of him.

[solcito-dps]

House is Cupid

pairing: james wilson x doctor!reader

words: 588

warnings: no major warnings - wilson being straight (or bi, who knows?), house being house but also kind of helpful, fake relationship, mention of marriage, kind of a plot twist, wilson kind of being babygirl.

summary: wilson needs to get out of an annoying situation, luckily you came in the picture just in time.

a/n: hi! this is my first… drabble? one shot? i don’t even know how to call it, but anyways hope you enjoy ❤️. also if there is a mistake, i’m so sorry, english is not my first language.

“You really need to get laid”

“You know? i actually agree with house on this one”

Wilson sighed and look at ceiling, trying to find an answer on why he was hearing the advices from Foreman and House.

“I’m actually seeing someone” he said.

“What?”

What?, why would he say that?

“Yes”

“I don’t believe you, what does she do?”

“She’s a doctor”

“Yeah right” House said.

Wilson was going to regret this his whole life.

“I didn’t want to say anything, but i’m dating someone from this hospital”

God, he’s so stupid.

“I want names, names so i can believe you”

“I’m sorry Wilson but, yes, i also need names”

Suddenly you walk into the diagnostics team office, and see the little reunion the three men are having.

“Oh, sorry, i was going to pick up the patient’s chart and just go.” you said

“No honey, please stay” Wilson said. “I just told house and foreman about us”

He stand up from his seat and stood in front of you, allowing him to face you and at the same time hide his face from the two men, so he could look at you with pleading eyes and mutter a “please follow my lead”.

You were extremely confused, but decided ultimately to help him because you had never seen him practically begging to anyone. You also kind of liked him but that had nothing to do with it.

“Really?, that’s great” you said

Wilson finally faced his friends, hugging you by your hip and you decided to just play along, which wasn’t difficult considering how nice it felt to be touched by him like that.

House looked at the couple with a hint of suspicion.

“That’s great, guys” Foreman congratulated

“I’m still not buying it”

Wilson rolled his eyes again.

“What do you need to believe us?”

You felt the eyes of your mentor and sometimes friend, looking at you intensely. It was obvious that House sensed something was wrong, and unfortunately, he knew about your little crush on certain oncologist who had his arm around your waist.

“Kiss”

“Wow, you’re a child”

As wilson was arguing with house about the request, you started getting more nervous than before, and started to ask yourself: ‘how did i ended up here?’.

“Ok, you want a kiss?, you’ll get your little show” you said.

Wilson was just starting to make a surprised face when you reach for his face and started kissing him, hard.

The kiss was intense, to say the least. Foreman was almost choking on his own surprise, while House looked with a little smirk.

Once the kiss was over, Wilson looked at you almost as if he was asking more, but quickly you just turned to the other doctors and said.

“Well gentlemen, a pleasure as always”

You leaved leaving a kiss in Wilson’s cheek and removing the lipstick stain that you left with your thumb, before going away and almost passing out in the hallway.

This was a story that years later House was going to say in your wedding, as long as making fun of Wilson for his fourth marriage.

What he kept to himself though, was the fact that all of that nonsense, that led to Wilson and you becoming an actual couple, was his way of helping you, knowing damn well that you were going to go to the office where Wilson was being cornered into saying that he was seeing someone.

Sometimes House could play God, but he also could play Cupid.

[phantomphangphucker]

Phic Phight - I’m Not Above A Love To Cash In

@a-closet-emo @coyotecrackers @DizzlyPuzzled @vigilant-insomniac @Kawaiijohn @fangirlwriting-stories

Danny’s kind of out of touch with humanity, that was kinda the point in the end. He had a job to do, people and ghosts to protect, a dimension to rule, and crazy bigoted ghost hunters to keep in line; potential distractions and collateral weren’t useful for anyone. Though maybe those would have been good for Danny’s well being, not that he cared too much about that.

Danny sighed at the little envelope, how the heck any of them even tracked down where he was living he had no freaking clue. Oh well, it was here now, meaning he couldn’t feign ignorance. The A-listers, or whatever they called themselves these days, had set up a reunion and had invited even him ‘Freaky Fenton’. Course they also managed to get the ghost mailman to deliver one to Phantom as well, which was slightly insane because as far as they knew Phantom had literally never gone to school at all??? Wasn’t it kinda weird to invite someone that not only wasn’t in your grade but wasn’t even in the school, to a high school reunion? Eh whatever, who was he to dictate who they invited, Dash probably demanded it actually. Ugh. So that left him with what to do about it, it would be rude as fuck for either Danny to not show and it would hurt his image in both forms. Jack and Maddie would spin some story about how it was proof that Phantom didn’t care about people, and then would say the same about Danny Fenton except that Fenton had been ‘tainted’ by Phantom.

To say they weren’t getting along these days would be an understatement. It made him very happy he never told them about being Phantom as a teen though. That would have ended with him strapped down on a table, no doubt.

His whole secret identity was the entire problem here really, his forms looked effectively identical meaning the two sides of him never being seen right next to each other was kind of important. Even being in the same room was too big a risk, if someone simply glanced from one to the other it was obvious. In photos he was fine, since ghosts messed up photographs and videos so severely.

Absolutely no one would buy it that neither one of them noticed the similarities. And absolutely no one bought that ‘Phantom stole Fenton’s face’ thing his parents once tried to spin. So Danny trying to play the similarities off wasn’t going to work.

…

Well he could simply do the aggressively opposite thing. Have Fenton and Phantom near each other constantly and clearly aware of the similarities for some reason. Just what kind of reason should he come up with? Claiming twins would get disproven in a heart beat, especially because everyone would wonder why he waited fourteen fucking years to reveal that shit. He… could, maybe, spin some soul mates bullshit. Ghosts were weird and did weird things and worked in weird ways, people would buy them having legit soul mates and being weird as fuck about it.

He should work shop this a little.

Really sell it.

Fuck.

Danny’s totally going to pretend to be his own fucking boyfriend at a random ass reunion that he still doesn’t know how he wound up getting invited to.

…

Oh Ancients Jack and Maddie were going to lose their minds when they heard about this. That’s it. He’s sold. He’s dating himself for a night. Fuck it. They put him through hell, he’s gonna put them through a little hell too.

Now how to explain it… ghost soul mates copy the appearance of their mate? Why though… hmmm… he doesn’t have a good one for that. Maybe… to recognise them while they’re still alive? Technically that could stab him in the ass if Fenton him ever died but well… unless something killed him then he wouldn’t die, semi-immortality was kinda a bitch like that. Old age was gonna bite him in the ass no matter what. And if he did get his sorry ass killed, finally rested in deaths grasp, his appearance would change to his ghost king form fully meaning that his ass actually would be covered by this dumbass excuse. Okay he is mentally swearing way too much and should absolutely go to bed at this point, sleep deprivation was absolutely taking the piss outta him right now.

He’s definitely sticking with this dumb dating himself idea though, it was just too good and too stupid.

Had Danny’s fully rested opinion changed from his sleep deprived one? not a chance. Eleven years ago this would have been utterly impossible to do, but now? he’s got duplication down pat, all his powers he was pretty solid with now. Not having friends gave him a crap ton of free time. Again, positive sides to negative things.

Heck he doesn’t even know what Sam and Tuck- Tucker were up to these days, it’s better left that way too. He’d be too tempted to keep checking up on them if he looked into it, and he gave that up the day he died and decided to keep that to himself no matter what. That no matter what had become losing his friends, his family, his sleep schedule, his unmarred body, his childhood home, his dream job, his grades, everything he used to care about except the stars. The stars he could be closer to than every living being, so he made that enough for him, it had to be.

Because he couldn’t follow his former friends, he couldn’t follow his former parents, he couldn’t follow his sister, he couldn’t follow his former teachers, he couldn’t follow his dreams. He refused to take all of that down with him, because the only one or thing Danny Fenton followed was Danny Phantom, because all Danny Phantom followed was Danny Fenton. Guess ‘dating’ was just taking it to another step, an absurd one but absurd was his half-life already so it was okay.

… Better thing to wonder about was what the heck to wear? He could slap his Phantom self in some of his more humanly normal royal wear but Fenton him? He owned one suit and it was shit. Most of his clothes were shit, he never actually paid for them so most were either destroyed or cheap enough that he didn’t feel too bad about the act of theft. His morals were another thing he gave up following, at least following it to a tee anyways. Eh fuck it, he’ll ‘barrow’ some of ‘Phantom’s’ royal wear. He’s not wasting time, money, or further morals, on trying to get something decent in a human way.

When was this happening again?

…

Tomorrow. Of course. It was fucking tomorrow. Figures that it would take a while to mail shit to a ghost and figures that they’d be lazy about sending ‘freaky Fenton’ an invite. Ugh. Whatever, he doesn’t really have energy to waste on caring or being bothered. Screw them too. He’ll be late purely to repay the audacity. That way he’ll also have to deal with everyone less, all the ‘normal’ people. Which if Tucker or Sam showed would probably be for the best, he doubts they’d approach him but it’d be painful to see them regardless. Not being in school anymore made it easy to fall out of being used to ignoring and avoiding them.

Though to be fair, he’d been out of school longer than everyone else, since he dropped out as soon as he legally could. Turning seventeen had be such a massive turning point for him, he’d been building up to dropping out and the teachers all knew it. None of them expected anything from him, Lancer held out hope longer than most but not even that man could hold out hope for a lost cause for long. Jack and Maddie thought he was joking till the day he actually dropped out though, they kicked him out of course which he expected; he didn’t even bother taking anything since nothing that was still there held any value to him.

Over time they had destroyed, one way or another, every physical thing he did care about. So he stopped bringing new things he would care about, it was a waste and only stood to hurt him in the long run. Them taking apart his telescope he spent years saving for just to make some stupid new invention was the nail in that particular coffin. So he left them everything he’d ever had but some clothes, that were barely wearable but he couldn’t exactly walk around naked. He’d been tempted to purely to make a point that everything in that house was worthless to him, them included, even if that used to be a lie.

Now he had some decent stuff, his mattress had a bed frame with stars scratched into the wood. That was something. Yeah…

…Yeah

He does have some food in the fridge right? Shit he should totally raid the free food at the reunion thing, the local town hero needed it more than they all did really. He’s seriously hoping that they have those yummy cheese tart things, those were delicious.

Fenton stretches out, eyeing his Phantom duplicate, it was so much harder to make a human duplicate than a ghost one so the choice of which one to make ‘real’ was fairly obvious. Snickering as Phantom chucks some clothes right at Fenton’s face, this kind of crap always amused him, being a goofy jerk to himself by himself. Fenton shaking his head, “dumbass”.

“You know talking to yourself isn’t supposed to be healthy”.

“As if we’re remotely close to healthy anything”.

Either way Fenton pulls the dark green knit tank top on, it looked acceptable over the black poets blouse, and the puffy blouse sleeves worked with the baggy harem pants. The shiny dress shoes stuck out bit so he’s swapping that shit out to soft weathered leather boots. Phantom’s already dressed in something more form fitting, like he always wore in that form, straight cut pants he’s sure are from the early nineteen hundreds and a borderline military tight collared and fully buttoned up jacket. Phantom sticking with the white boots and black gloves, there really wasn’t a reason to change that and he wasn’t a fan of people seeing the scarring on his left hand/arm.

Both of the hims absolutely rock the evil eyeliner though, because of course.

Fenton straightening the random bullet necklace he threw on, “so, ready to go babe”; fuck this was gonna be hilarious.

Phantom finger gunning right back, “tots babe”.

Oh here’s hoping he can hold his laughter and mocking smirks inside his mind. Everyone even in this spooky town could be so dumb though that they might not even notice even if he didn’t manage to keep himselves together. Plus he was ‘the freak’ and ‘crazy’ so he probably would get written off anyways. Fenton gesturing out the door as he opens it and begins to walk out. Phantom chuckling, “naw, I’ll fly us”; and having Fenton pretend to be startled when he gets picked up by his ‘romantic partner’. Man he’s going to make himself laugh at this point.

It doesn’t take long to get to Elmerton, at least the ‘A-listers’ had the sense to not try and hold a reunion inside Amity Park, especially when a lot of the people who were likely invited had made a point to get the hell out of dodge once they could. Amity was kinda a nightmare so Danny couldn’t blame them, even if it felt a little insulting. He thought he was doing a damn good job of keeping everyone safe! Sure there was lots of damages but no one ever got seriously injured. Living in a so called normal town just sounded boring to him these days, what did all those people even do with their time? Sleep? Eat? Did people still go to the movies these days or was that outdated? Whatever. Not his life style not his problem.

Phantom zipping up to open the door, Fenton stuffing his hands in his pockets and following along. Fenton had the loner lazy weirdo image to maintain after all. And there’s Star immediately, honestly he kind of expected either Dash or Paulina or maybe they were just ‘too good’ to greet people at the doors.

Star opens her mouth and nothing comes out, her just staring at the two hims. Yup. She noticed the freakish similarities immediately. She swallows very awkwardly and her smile is pinched, “Phantom! Danny! Glad you could make it!”. That rang about as true as a fucking potato trying to pass as a turtle. What the fuck. Did they just not expect either of hims to show up? Why even invite him then!

Phantom tilting his head, “well I was invited, someone went through a kinda weird amount of effort to do that”. Fenton scoffing, “and I can absolutely just leave if I’m not actually welcome, don’t know why y’all went to the effort to track me down if you didn’t want me here though”.

She waves them both off, “no no no! You’re both fine!”, and fiddled with all the little name plates, “it’s…”, side-eyeing Phantom’s glowing self, “just been a while since I’ve been around a ghost and wearing a bullet to see a bunch of people you haven’t seen in over a decade seems a little concerning”.

Fenton blinks, is she trying to say it came off as a threat? “If I was going to threaten people I’d do it to their face and if I was going to shoot people I’d have walked in with a gun”.

“That’s… not comforting”, she looks Fenton up and down, “you’re not armed right”.

“No!”; oh my zone just how bad was everyone’s opinions of Fenton? Ugh. Phantom gestures at his face, “I’m kinda always armed? I can’t do anything about that”.

She actually chuckles at that, handing them their name plates, “still a joker I see”.

“Death can’t kill these puns”.

Fenton snickering, “hopefully it can still off me though”. Phantom laughing lightly back, “you’re not a walking sentient pun, otherwise I feel very misled”; and makes a point to ruffle Fenton’s hair and have Fenton grin a little fondly at the action.

It was actually kinda nice to feel his hair being ruffled up again though…

Star, finally, gets the vibes he’s putting out. Vibes squared that he’s putting out. Doubly putting out. Her eyes widening, “oh my god are you two dating? Since when and how even!”.

Danny’s a little miffed she didn’t even comment on how similar the two hims look though. Like come on! If this whole thing was pointless he’s going to be annoyed enough to try setting something on fire. Nothing like arson to really scratch that destructive itch.

Fenton quirks an eyebrow, “I mean, yeah?”, sharing a glance with Phantom before looking back to her, “and pretty much ever since I dropped out, folks kicked me to the curb and this idiot showed up”.

“I’m the smart one in this relationship”.

“I don’t know about that, you dipshit”,

“Hey!”.

Oh okay, so that’s why everyone liked calling him insulting names. It was legit hilarious and weirdly satisfying… hopefully he doesn’t come out of tonight with a weird degradation kink, that would be his luck and very concerning. Would confuse a lot of ghosts though.

Star shakes her head with a more genuine grin, “I think I’m glad then, feel free to head on in. There’s food and drinks to the left”. Sweet, free food. “No invisibly stealing most of it, Phantom”. Aw. Damn. He’s still going to just… with more subtlety.

Phantom smirking, “so steal all the food, gotcha”, and winks before they’re fully inside.

It’s loud, not club loud but noisy. A second duplicate absolutely raids the table, just taking only a few things and at random. Not the toasted sandwiches though, ew. Hard pass.

Lily spots them first, nearly running over, he can tell by scent alone that she’s got kids now. Weird. “Holy crap, Danny? Phantom? Did you guys just arrive by chance together or do you- holy what the?”, she stops a bit away from them and tilts her head, “did you two always look this similar?”, and shakes herself off before coming all the way over to the two hims. “So both of you still in Amity I guess? Phantom obviously but you seriously didn’t leave Danny? With how crap your parents were to you?”.

Wow. Way to be gentle about it, damn. Fenton quirks a judgmental eyebrow, “harsh much, but Amity’s big enough that we avoid each other pretty easily. They leave my precious Nasty Burger and coffee shops alone, I stay the hell away from FentonWorks. It works”. Phantom nodding readily, “plus I would be very sad if he went and left”, and makes a point to pout goofily.

Lily hums and nods, “oh yeah I guess since most of us left, you’d miss anymore leaving huh?”.

Dense much. Fucking Zone.

Fenton and Phantom exchanging looks before staring at her. Phantom giving her that smirk that meant he was about to say something stupid, Danny loved making that smirk, “no, I’d miss sucking his face off”.

Lily squawks, scandalised, “you don’t just say stuff like that! And you’re dating!”, tilting her head, “you guys have the same name and could pass as twins, that is so weird”.

“WHAT! Oh mi god!”.

Ah that sounded like Paulina. This ought to be fun.

Paulina almost knocks Lily over and physically flings her arms around Phantom’s neck. Danny can’t resist but have Phantom give Fenton an awkward apologetic look; just to make Lily uncomfortable. That absolutely works and she shuffles on her feet and taps Paulina’s should in an attempt to get her to stop.

“I can’t believe you actually came! Oh this is the best! And you’re still so muscley! And you smell like lime still!”.

He… forgot how creepy she could be, actually. Wow. He’s nipping this in the ass. Fenton putting a hand on his hip, “you done dangling off my ghost, Paulina”; he makes sure that comes off as chastising instead of actually questioning.

Paulina doesn’t get off of Phantom and instead just turns her head to look at Fenton, “and you are? What could you possibly mean by that?”.

Holy shit. By all the Ancients. She doesn’t even recognise Fenton him. What the fuck actually. For someone who was, and clearly still is, so obsessed with a version of him she clearly couldn’t be bothered to remember him. Phantom prying Paulina’s arms off him with an almost baffled raised eyebrow, “Danny Fenton? You know? The kid you guys used to call freaky all the time? My soulmate?”.

“Your what?”. Of course the last bit is the part she really cares about. She stares at Fenton, who glares, her looking back to Phantom, “I refuse to believe that”.

You know what? Fuck it. Time to absolutely horrify everyone and do something arguable really weird. Fenton grabs a fist full of Phantoms hair and kisses him like he fucking means it. Even though all he really means is that he desires to disturb Paulina and see if he can make her throw up on command.

She doesn’t throw up, sadly. She does start waving her hands around and backing away disgustedly though; an almost win. “Oh god ew! I don’t want to see that loser kissing anyone! Especially not Phantom”. Well too bad Paulina, you’re seeing it. Lily is busy clutching her pearls and shuffling away from them like they’re physically toxic to be around; which with him being literally a ghost in one of his forms that was actually an accurate statement.

Fenton does break off the kiss though, “oh so you do remember me?”. She scowls at Fenton him so he has Phantom whole ass bite Fenton’s neck with his fangs like a proper possessive asshole ghost would. Her scowl deepens and he feels very satisfied with himselves.

She backs up a bit, “unfortunately. Now at least. I would have preferred not to have the reminder”, looking to Phantom almost hopefully, “are you sure? Serious?”.

Phantom keeps a hand around Fenton’s waist, “course! It’s pretty obvious he’s supposed to be mine so”. Fenton sticks his tongue out meanly while Phantom shrugs like all of this is a given.

“No it’s really not”.

“Holy shit Phantom!”.

“Wait really!?”.

“Phantom!”.

“Wow you’ve changed! Awesome man!”.

“He came!”.

“I forgot how freaky ghosts looked”.

“HI!”.

Fenton gets pretty much shoved to the side as Phantom gets mobbed. Ahh yeah Danny did not miss all the fangirls and fanboys shit. He really didn’t. That was one thing about being a hero he could seriously do without. It was at the least uncomfortable and at the worst actively dangerous for everyone involved. Fenton huffing and shaking his arms out, going through the motions of running his bite mark and grumbling about people hogging ‘his boyfriend’. Fuck it, Fenton him is hitting up the food table and grabbing both hims a drink. The duplicate can deal with all the damn fans and freak outs.

Phantom chuckles awkwardly when Dash smacks him a few times in the arm, “solid and tough as always I see! Man it still sucks that ghosts couldn’t be on the team!”.

“And I’ll point out that would have still been unfair”; like really, Danny, especially as Phantom, could pick up the entire school building. He could kick a football into the goddamn stratosphere.

Dash smacks him again, “oh who cares”.

“I do? And did?”. Danny liked to pretend he still had good solid morals sometimes.

James starts aggressively shaking Phantom’s hand, “man it’s been too long, wow i thought I’d been misremembering that your skin, or suit I suppose, tingled!”. Phantom only laughing awkwardly in response.

“You still doing the whole super hero thing?”.

“it’s almost weird to see you all grown up?”.

“You know you practically were part of our class!”.

“Could you imagine if he still looked like a kid?”.

“Amity’s ghost issues as bad as ever!”.

“Think I could get a signature for the kids?”.

“The Fenton’s still trying to catch you?”.

Okay this was a bit much, like it always was. Most of Amity didn’t do this crap now, everyone used to him just kinda always being around. Everyone here though? Again most of them left Amity, meaning he was now a novelty to them. Phantom him was at least.

Danny’s putting a stop to this, “Hey spooky butt”, Fenton leans his face and one drink over Phantom’s shoulder in a way that could only be described as shit-eatingly sultry.

“Holy shit Danny!”.

“Looks like someone finally learned how to dress”.

“Why are you getting Phantom a drink?”.

Paulina crosses her arms and huffs, “apparently they’re dating”, waving a hand around dismissively, “soul mates or whatever”.

OoOooIooOoooOoOooh someone’s jealous. Ha! He loves to see it. Suck on that, little miss stalker.

Everyone just kind of goes silent, zone someone actually goes and shuts off the music even. Wow. His both touched and slightly horrified. Phantom takes the drink from Fenton and sips noisily at it while everyone stares; Fenton just smirking his ass off and Danny trying not to have either hims collapse to the floor in laughing fits.

Todd snapping, “what the hell does that mean”, then scowling, “wait, why do I even care?”, and stalks off to aggressively grab a rice crispy square. That starts the shouting though.

“What?!”.

“What does she mean dating!?!”.

“There’s NO WAY THAT’S SERIOUS!”.

“How!”.

“Woah woah woah huh?!?”.

“WHAT!”.

“The hell happened!”.

“How does this even make sense!”.

Paulina looks pleased with herself actually, smirking at Fenton like this somehow proved something? Danny’s completely lost on what she thinks she’s won. Like, Danny’s winning here, mass confusion was practically ninety percent of the goal. He wanted to piss off, freak out, and annoy these people. Most of them had treated him like shit, the others didn’t care, and well, two were… okay but he was best leaving them confused too. At least he doesn’t see either of them yet.

Dash near shrieking, “Fenton!”. Danny’s suddenly distinctly remembering that this guy used to slam him into walls and try to drown him. Fenton ducking down under Phantom's arm to be able to slip under it to move in front of his ghost self, “what do you want, Dash? Feel like revisiting shoving my head in toilets?”. He makes a point to have Phantom watch the interaction like a very obviously protective hawk; protective eyes for Fenton only. He is legit enjoying seeing Fenton him standing up against Dash though, especially since Fenton was taller than Dash now and more bulked up.

Someone fell off with all their working out. Ha! As if that would ever happen with Danny, he’s mere existence was a work out.

Dash glaring up at Fenton, sneering, “Fenton, still being weird I see”.

“Let me guess, I was invited to be the freak show you lot would point at and use as a way to make yourselves feel better about how your own lives turned out? What? Upset that you were right about peeking in Highschool?”.

Dash actually clenches a fist, Danny keeps Fenton glaring straight at his face, and makes Phantom’s eyes glow dangerously in warning. Dash wilts immediately, scoffing, “gotta have a ghost fight your battles for you, Fenton. Whatever”.

Fenton cackles meanly, wandering off to pick up one of the full coolers up over his head with ease and shout, “you wanna go bitch?!? You think I’m hooked up with a combative mother fucker without getting a few hits in myself!”. Yes, fear human him even slightly, please him.

Then Star stomps over, “Danny put that down”, pointing at Dash, “Dash, this isn’t Highschool anymore, grow up”, then looking at Phantom, “please discourage this?”.

Phantom blinks innocently, “why would I? It’s hot when throws shit at people, he threw Johnny’s bike two days ago, ten outta ten”.

That gets him a lot of ‘what’s’ and Paulina recoils, “you, called Fenton hot”.

Phantom shrugging like this is obvious, “well he is”. Note, Danny is fully aware that he is absolutely not hot or conventionally attractive in anyway. He just wants to see her grossed out. The disgusted look is so worth it, worth all this crap.

Kwan shakes his head, but when he smiles at both Danny’s his smile is genuine, “well good for you two then!”. Dash glances away awkwardly, Danny’s guessing those two had a falling out. Figures, Kwan was always a kinda decent dude that was just surrounded by assholes. Kwan coming over and smacking both of the Danny’s shoulders, “how’d this happen though?”.

Multiple people raise their hands, clearly wanting an expilnation for this shit too; zone the music is still off. Danny knows he’s a hot topic, as Phantom at least, but for fucks sake! Phantom and Fenton exchanging glances before Fenton crosses his arms at the group, “after I got the familial boot, this shit ass”, jabbing a thumb back at Phantom. Phantom muttering, “yes insult me harder, daddy”, purely because that was absolutely taking this a step too far. Making Fenton pause and look back at ghost him, “I can’t believe you actually said that”, then turning back to everyone, most of whom look varying degrees of freaked out, “so this shit ass, helped me get back on my feet and not be contentedly homeless and you know, when a hero type starts stealing things for you you start to question that shit. And well, romance bloomed”. There are some ‘aw’s’ and some gags and some eye rolls. Expected, many here had once had crushes on Phantom him and also viewed Fenton him as a loser; most wouldn’t be happy about this pairing not that he cares.

Phantom waving at everyone with a big smile specifically to get their attention, “we’re soul mates!”, humming, “which is a ghost thing so it’s probably really weird to the living”.

Fenton nodding, okay self… selves, time to sell this shit. Fenton pointing at his face then Phantom’s face, “it’s why we look alike”. Phantom nodding immediately, “looking like our loves makes them easier to find”.

Jesse blinks, he was dressed in an actually starched suit, “so ghosts just copy their partners appearance until they find them as ghosts? Until they die? That seems a bit insane and like it would mess with your sense of self”.

Paulina stares at the ground, “so I’ve been crushing on a Fenton look-alike, ew”. Oh Danny hadn’t even thought of that reaction! Ha! Suffer for his amusement. This was a great plan.

Fenton smirks to himself, “yup. Too bad you missed out on the real thing huh?”. She scowls deeply at him and stalks off, apparently done with his bullshit; the quick glance she gives Phantom is a little odd but maybe this will finally kill her odd obsession with half of him.

Phantom hums, shaking his head in that way that makes his hair flop around detached from gravity, “oh I can look how I’m supposed to look fully if I want to”, leaning over and pinching Fenton’s cheek, “looking like this silly little human, in general body shape, is just more tolerable around all you humans”; then running the same hand through his hair, changing it to white flames as he does so. Danny lets the fire hair ‘hang out’ on and around Phantom’s head for a bit before settling back to his standard hair.

Dash grumbling, “I’d rather look like some beast than a loser. Fire hair is cool anyways”.

Brittney sticking up a finger, “but with this, then wouldn’t you have known since you first met? When you first showed up in Amity? So why didn’t you date back in Highschool?”.

Phantom quirks an eyebrow at her like the answers obvious, because frankly it is, “He’s alive? I wasn’t about to mess his life up, then suddenly he wasn’t in school or at his home. He was alone with no real human responsibilities so I decided why not? And I could hardly do nothing when my mate could use some help”. Dating any ghost, especially himself, would have gone horrifically bad while he was still living with Maddie and Jack. The amount those two would have tried to use him and this fabricated soul mate bond thing would have been absolutely insane and very very painful eventually. Even if he had dated a blob ghost that would have ended in the ghostly ultimate destruction. Even now dating a ghost came with far too much risk to them, dating himself he could get away with since he was a very powerful ghost and also knew exactly what he was getting himself into more or less. Besides, if dating himself is what gets his ass finally truly hurt by those two he will laugh.

Star grins at the ghost, “that is very adorable”, then looking at the mass of people, “okay that’s enough mobbing them, this is to mingle with everyone not just ogle Phantom”. Oh hey, look at the old queen bee lackey being the voice of reason now, talk about moving up in the world.

A couple people grumble but things do go back to somewhat normal, the music comes back on too. Nice. Star nodding curtly to herself, then to Fenton, “now I didn’t ask this earlier but are the Fenton’s going to show up? They weren’t invited but they were never big on following rules”.

Both Danny’s chuckle at that, Fenton shaking his head, “so long as no one tells them a ghost’s here, then no”.

“Glad to hear it, now I’m going back to greet people, I imagine there will be a couple more late arrivals”. Fenton smirks meanly at that while Phantom tries to look slightly apologetic, ultimately Danny didn’t really care and they should be glad he bothered showing up to an event full of people that either ignored his existence or treated him like shit except when he was saving their hides or floating around as Phantom.

Phantom finally gets to sip his, unfortunately ectoplasm free, drink and take some food from Fenton. Danny’s tempted to have Fenton fucking hand feed Phantom just to mess with people. The tarts are sadly really bland, is this what ‘normal’ grown ups liked to eat? Hard pass. But people’s tastes seriously get this boring? How sad and a bit pathetic. Live a little! Enjoy some flavour!

Kwan elbowing Phantom, “so the ghost problem still going strong”, laughing almost awkwardly, “I haven’t exactly been keeping up, the tech industry is a hard core one!”.

Ah so he worked in tech now? He’d expected English, a teacher maybe, he seemed to like poetry if Danny’s remembering right? Phantom chuckles, “of course! I doubt that’ll ever change. Serious damage doesn’t happen too much now though, since I’m pretty solid on what kind of damage is serious damage in the living world now”. Fenton nodding, “and I get the fun of patching his dumbass up when he lets himself get hit for a pun”.

“As if you don’t do the same”.

Fenton snorts, making a point to seem amused by Phantom’s antics. Phantom smirking playfully before looking back to Kwan, “besides, no ghost these days would want to actually get on my bad side with my position, you know?”. Jack and Maddie might very loudly and very aggressively deny that ghosts could possibly have a political system but everyone else seemed to accept it at least. Besides, those two hunters being loud about anything didn’t somehow make it true, even if the town believing the whole ‘ghost king’ thing made some of them a lot more leery of Phantom. Like he’d execute them or try them for dissent or something if ‘his human people’ went against him. Some folks moved out purely because they didn’t want to be in a town under ‘some ghost royals rule’, even though Danny had firmly established his Phantom self as the good guy by now. Humans could be so annoying. None of the ghosts got pissy about being under his domain and they were more under it than any human in Amity.

Kwan looks… confused? “No I don’t think I know? Are you, like, an actual ghost cop now? Man that would be so cool”.

What. Hmm. Well. Maybe most of these people don’t know? Most of his old ‘citizens’ hadn’t been citizens for a while before Danny took the throne proper and him doing so got leaked, thank you very much Vlad. Asshole. Though having very public arguments with the Observants in the mild of the fucking sky probably didn’t help, or him actually having to go scary ghost king on that one Ancient that tried poisoning the water supply with corpses. If you’re gonna mass kill people be a proper ghost and do it with your own bare hands. Danny makes a point to have Phantom look to Fenton in confusion, Fenton facepalming, “right. Most of y’all have been gone a while”, moving his hand off his face and giving Kwan a mean smirk, “Phantom’s been the current ghost king ever since he became an adult ghost”, waving a hand around dismissively, “its been, what? eight years?”.

Phantom nodding, “and my town’s, Amity’s, known for five because Plasmius is a jerk and the Observants won’t stop hassling me”, grumbling, “one of these days I swear I’m gonna start shooting them with suction darts”.

Fenton barking a laugh as if he wasn’t fully aware of what his other self was going to say, “if that works I will mock them relentlessly”.

“Please do, anyone who doesn’t give up on political assassination attempts after the third failure deserves to be mocked”.

At this point it was like they felt obligated to try at least once per year, it was very annoying and a waste of his time. At least all the other ghosts who started beef with him provided some entertainment and stretched his muscles out, let him satisfy that pesky little protective obsession of his. The eyeballs were just jerks. At least he had fun setting the last wannabe assassin on fire. Ha.

Kwan blinks before smacking Phantom’s arm hard, “wow! Congrats then! I’m busy enough just being a desk boy usually! Being a king would be awful, no offence”, then smacking Fenton’s arm one, “and congrats on bagging royalty!”.

Todd scowling from a little bit away, “fuck, right, I forgot that asshole got that throne thing, ugh I hate this town”, and wanders off further away from Danny’s hims and their everything.

But someone’s turned off the music, again ugh, it’s Lindsey by the controls and she’s gapping at the hims, “what do you mean Phantom’s royalty!”.

Oh. This shit again.

Everyone starts yelling at the hims again.

“What!?”.

“Oh that’s awesome!”.

“For defeating that dude that abducted the town right?!?”.

“For how long!”.

“That’s absurd!”.

“I could have dated a king!”.

“We sorta went to school with royalty!”.

“Oh my god!”.

“WHAT!”.

“Why are there still ghosts then!”.

“Does that make Amity, like, a royal capital!”.

Phantom buries his face in his palms, groaning loudly. Man Danny remembers going through this back when Vlad leaked everything and the towns folk realised he wasn’t joking. So many questions, an entire press conference even. Fenton crossing his arms and scowling, “there’s an entire press release on it, google it your self, hell go track it down on TikTok I don’t care”.

Phantom sighing again and removing his hand from his face, looking at the people in his line of sight, “yes it’s the throne the guy who abducted the town had. It’s only been eight years and the towns know for five. No I’m not going to mass control the ghosts to stay out of Amity, freedom is a big deal to ghosts. Amity is technically a royal capital but it’s not in the Infinite Realm so that doesn’t actually mean much. And yes it is absurd”, gesturing a hand at his head and making the green flaming crown appear for a few seconds before sending it away again.

Fenton pretty much gets shoved away from Phantom again as everyone pretty much mobs the ghost, Kwan patting an annoyed Fenton’s shoulder, “so what have you been doing? Outside of apparently dealing with Phantom’s craziness all the time”.

(Phantom holds up his hands, “alright alright, just stop shoving my mate around. Geez”. Only a couple of people apologise)

Fenton huffs, at least the man sounded genuine, after all most people didn’t expect Danny Fenton to amount to much of anything. Homeless and jobless was the expectation. It was also almost accurate, if he wasn’t Phantom at least. The only reason he had an apartment at all was because he was better at making weapons than his parents were, even if he sold his more or less illegally. The G.I.W. would never approve someone who was ‘in league with the dead’ to deal ghost tech in any form, even if they did, Jack and Maddie would try to keep him out. At least Vlad pulled his weight by letting Danny sell the more important stuff under the Dalvco brand, like shields and ghost-plant killer that secretly doubled as a Blood Blossom spray. His general weapons were blackmarket only though, fuck the government. “If I told you I’d have to kill you”. Kwan rolls his eyes and Fenton snorts after a beat, “I sell weapons on the blackmarket”.

… It takes a bit but, Kwan blinks, “oh you’re serious”.

(Phantom chuckles awkwardly, “yes I’m a lot stronger now than I was back then, I don’t flaunt that though”.)

Fenton shrugging, “it’s ghost weapons, dude. More ghost friendly, Phantom friendly, and more effective than what FentonWorks or Dalvco produce. And not legislated to the zone and back like G.I.W. tech, plus fuck those guys, no Amity Parker current or past would buy shit from those assholes”.

“Yeah I absolutely remember them shooting live rockets at little kids that one time”, Kwan shakes his head, “I guess that makes sense, can’t do it legally because of being publicly pro-ghost?”.

(Danny internally sighs as most of the group shove pens and paper and whatnot at Phantom, ugh).

“Got it in one, got it in one. It doesn’t make good money but it does make some. Enough for a place to live and cheap food, I’m not moving into the gz regardless of someone’s insistence on how cozy it is”.

Kwan actually takes that comment in stride, good for him, “I mean, you’re gonna be there one day anyways? So why rush it? Even if Phantom would probably prefer you there sooner than later”, the guy scratches his head, “man that must be weird. Being a ghosts soul mate or whatever. Chelsea marrying that old guy was weird enough, a dead guy is on another level”.

Chelsea married a sugar daddy? Really? Okay… Get that bread he guesses. Fenton snorting, “if she’s making bank and living the rich life because of that then good for her”, shrugging, “and outside of him running of to throw fists and laying on the ceiling, it’s not much different from dating a human. Getting bitched at about royal shit is way more weird”, looking down at himself and sticking his arms away from his torso some, “the clothing’s nice though”.

“That’s ghost clothing?”.

Fenton smirks, “yup. This shirt is probably older than our parents. And I think the boots are made from Minotaur hide”. He doesn’t think, he knows they are. Ghost clothing was badass like that.

(Phantom rolls his eyes at Jasper, “no I’m not going to just make people my knights when they die”.)

James pops his head over, “that would freak me out to wear, damn aren’t you worried about ecto-contamination and shit? I’d prefer to stick to stuff made by human hands, cool though”.

Was it weird? He didn’t think so. “There’s so little ecto on it that it really doesn’t matter, besides if clothing was bad for my health Phantom would kill me via cuddles”. Kwan bursts out laughing, and nods repeatedly.

James nods a little, “oh yeah! I guess that would be right huh?”.

The Danny makes a point to have Fenton jerk a little from Phantom just kinda appearing right next to Fenton. Kwan putting a hand to his chest and James yelping a little. Fenton glancing at Phantom, “got bored of being mobbed or doing signatures?”. Ancients everyone wanted signatures and if Phantom wasn’t the duplicate Danny’s sure his hand would be sore for at least ten minutes. Ugh. signing shit for Craig’s goddamn six children was wild though, his poor wife. Phantom pouting, “yes”.

“I did warn you that would happen”.

“I wasn’t going to not show up, that would be rude!”.

At least the music turns back on, thank everything. Dale spotting and hearing where Phantom disappeared to and popping over, “everyone’s glad you came, even if being around a ghost again is a little off putting and weird”.

Phantom rubs his neck, “me being more powerful probably doesn’t help”. Fenton shoving him a little good naturedly.

Dale acts like Phantom didn’t even say anything, “and yeah Fenton was kinda invited in hopes you’d be more likely to show, since both of you were seen near each other a lot”.

Kwan gives the other man a disappointed look, “dude”. Making Dale blink, “oh right yeah that was mean”, and just stares off blankly a little.

Wow. Fucking figured but damn. Jerks. Though right, wasn’t Dale the guy that had some brain damage? Eh, Danny shouldn’t be too mean to the guy. Still making Fenton scowl though, “why am I not surprised, it’s not like I was ever close with any of you shitheads”. James wanders away very quickly at that, and at Phantom growling a little. Kwan scratching his head, “sorry about that, Dale’s not the best at brain to mouth censoring”. Dale blinking and still looking a little far off but nodding, “ah, yeah no I’m not. Eh? At least dogs don’t care about that”.

Phantom brightening up immediately, “oh yeah! Cujo can be a handful but he’s a good boy”.

Dale blinks again, “I don’t think I could handle a ghost dog, all dogs are great dogs though”.

See that? Danny could agree with. Cujo might cause a lot of damage and might drag him around by his ankles but he was still just the best. And getting to have interactions with someone or something that had no expectations of him and couldn’t be disappointed by him was nice. All the pup wanted was a playmate, belly rubs, and to guard his master; nothing more nothing less. Cujo didn’t care if Danny was a king or if he was on bad terms with his biological makers or if he was a little out of touch with other beings or if he technically was an entity that should be impossible to exist in the first place. Dogs were nice like that, unlike people. So both Danny’s nod.

Then, as if summoned by the dog that ‘ruined’ her life, Val shows up. The good ol’ Red Huntress. At least they got along somewhat these days, her and Phantom at least.

Her voice is harsh, “what the fuck”. Ah so she spotted Phantom. This was gonna be fun and possibly annoying or stupid or a lot of things. She stomps over, glaring bloody murder at Phantom who whistles and glances around like an innocent little angel. Man Danny loved to rile her up sometimes, and she couldn’t even shoot him this time! She grabs Fenton’s baggy sleeve roughly and physically drags him off. Leaving a blinking Phantom, “well at least this time it’s him being pestered and not the ghost with the most”. Kwan laughs.

Fenton blinks at Val, “sup, Val. Why are you dragging me around?”. As if he doesn’t know exactly why. Phantom was here and she wanted to know why, the Red Huntress did talk to Fenton him sometimes, since he made ghost shit and everything. Plus the ‘Fenton’ knowledge he had from Jack and Maddie. Danny’s ninety percent sure she suspects him of knowing exactly who was under the helmet, She drags him all the way over to the food tables before responding to him, “I’ve been here all of ten minutes and all I am hearing about, besides people telling me what their jobs are now and Ali trying to get me to join her pyramid scheme, is that you are apparently dating Phantom. What the actual fresh fuck, Danny”.

Fenton huffs, “let me have my love life, gosh”, smirking, “what? Do you have a problem with gay couples?”; that’s not the issue and he knows it and she knows that he knows it.

She swats him over the head immediately, “he’s a ghost you dumbass”, huffing, “I know you tend to side with ghosts but dating Phantom? Really?”, rubbing her temples, “like yes, if you’re going to have a thing for the dead then Phantom’s acceptable but what are you two doing?”.

Fenton smirks, “what we’re doing is being little shits and cuddle buddies”.

“You know what I mean, you shit”.

Fenton chuckles, “and I couldn’t make this anymore clear, I could described what Phantom’s mouth tastes like if you’d like?”; of course Danny could actually have Fenton do that since Danny knew what his own mouth tasted like.

Val glares, crosses her arms, and looks from Fenton to Phantom, from one Danny to the other… then she does it again. There it was, the recognition. “What the?”.

Lily walks over to grab some food, “oh yeah let me guess, noticed the similarities? Apparently they’re soul mates”, eyeing Fenton, “ghosts am I right?”. Danny can tell instantly that Val doesn’t buy that shit, like at all. Figures, she was a ghost hunter after all… and she knew about Vlad’s sorry half-dead ass. AND she’s seen Elle’s human half which was basically just a female version of Fenton him.

Fenton smirks at Lily, “they’re weird, but exactly my kind of weird”, and fucking winks at her. Lily shaking her head and heading back over to a bunch of the other ex-cheerleader girls.

Val looks to Fenton slowly, “Danny? Are you? Are you him?”.

Fenton finger guns, “with him you mean, ha!”, then dropping his hands and shrugging, “it shouldn’t have taken you this long, Red. Like my excuse? All the reactions have been to die for”. She smacks him over the head again, expected, she always did love to rough up his sorry ass. “You know Phantom’s not gonna like if you bruise me up too much”.

“I hate you”.

“No you don’t”.

“Fuck you”.

“You wish you could”.

She throws her hands up dramatically, “I can’t with you! Oh my Zone!”, dropping her hands and glaring at Fenton, “you could have just fucking told me, you know”.

Fenton shrugging, stealing up a little rainbow rice crispy square, “eh, it was better off I didn’t. I’m a lot to get involved in and it’s better that people just don’t”, pointing the square at her before taking a bite, “tough shit or not you still die if someone lops your head off”. Sometimes he did want to try and stop her from the whole huntress thing but who was he to tell someone to not do stupid dumb reckless shit? Plus all the ghosts actually liked her, and that shit counted for a lot.

She frowns at him, “that’s a bit depressing you know? Is that why you’re such a loner?”, shaking her head and glancing at a wall, “I guess I’m not really one to talk though, huh?”.

“No shit, Sherlock. We’re both pretty irredeemably fucked, I just have less of a choice about it”.

“You have a choice“.

“Look me in my half dead god king face and say that again”.

She flinches at that, fucking good, he didn’t have a whole lot of tolerance for people telling him he could just walk away. As if everything wouldn’t go to utter shit without his asses involvement. As if people wouldn’t die or wind up experimented on. As if his realm could function and maintain itself without its king. As if there was anything better for him to do other than rot in bed. As if this wasn’t all he was goddamn good for and all he knew how to do anymore. Everything else is gone and there ain’t no getting it back. He’s fucked. Absolutely, completely, and utterly, fucked. And saying otherwise was like pissing on all his fucking suffering and sacrifices. He was needed as Phantom, as a sovereign and protector. He was needed as Fenton, as the interspecies liaison and defender. And that was all he was needed as. Never anything more and never anything less. It wasn’t his choice to make anymore, even if it’s a choice he would make over and over again if it was up to him. Nothing was changing that till either every part of him collapsed or the universe did.

Fenton huffs, “come on, let’s mingle instead of wallowing in our mildly crappy existences”.

She stands firm, making him eye her, “you do like it though, right? I do”.

Even if he didn’t, even if he hated every second of it, he’d still say yes just so she wouldn’t pity him or try to carry more of the load on her very mortal shoulders. He did enjoy it though, so there’s that, meaning it’s not a lie when Fenton says, “duh. I’m a combative mother fucker, even if somehow no one noticed that trait in Fenton”. This time she lets him drag her off with him.

Phantom giving both of them smiles, “have fun catching up, babe?”. Fenton snickering, “of course babe”. Val glares murderously at both hims but doesn’t call him out on his bullshit.

Silver waving at Val, basically killing the conversation Silver’d been having with his duplicate about their greenhouses poppy flowers. It’s was weird someone being so interested in just… growing a bunch of poppy’s. Like fuck, way to show you have a real hunky-dory life. They actually teared up a little at successfully growing an orange one… Sliver speaking up, “you still stuck in Amity?”.

Val nodding easily, “yeah, what can I say, I like the stupid town. I doubt I’ll ever leave, it’s got me for life”.

Yeah… she was probably right about that. She was married to the game less than him but still was all the same. Her it was more that she didn’t want to stop and felt responsible, rather than genuinely not being able to stop.

Phantom putting his hands behind his head, “yeah, her and her dad run a pretty solid tech shop these days, I get my thermoses fixed there since the Fenton’s are still crazy”. Fenton snorting, “tell me about it”. Did Danny actually need to be doing that? Obviously not. But it was a chance to have Phantom talk with Red outside of combat, and to familiarise her with thermoses in case the worst happened.

After all, losing all his human connections is what made Dan and that’s exactly the way things were now. It was bound to happen if he ever lost his protective drive. Protection and combat are his only drives, one without the other is a problem for his mind. So he’d keep his one connection with Val, for as little as that might be worth in the end, and he’ll keep his protective streak going till it burns him to ash.

Val rolls her eyes at the two hims, “helping the town, even that little bit, is worth it”.

“I hear ya, I hear ya”.

“Hey Fenton! Does Jazz still live in Amity?!”.

Fenton blinks, leaning away from his little group going on and stares at Dash, “fucking no?! Why would she?! She literally left the day she turned eighteen how did you not notice that?!?”, scowling, “and no! I’m not calling her for you! We barely talk anymore anyways!”. Which kinda sucked but she got to live her normal human life that she very much enjoyed.

Dash blinks, “damn!”. Ugh.

Silver blinking at Fenton, “oh? It’s ’cause of the Fenton’s isn’t it?”.

Phantom sighs, rubbing his temples, “I took her away personally. The Fenton’s, aware that Danny wasn’t going to, and in their eyes shouldn’t, take over FentonWorks, burned her scholarships and tried to stop her from leaving. I got her out and a few towns over, saw her off and all that”.

Fenton nodding, “which I was very relieved over, that had been Hell a little bit-”. Silver cringes. “-she’s doing well for herself though, has her own therapist practice and all that. Doesn’t want anything to do with Maddie or Jack, same as me”, shrugging, “she also wants nothing to do with ghosts, so I’m kinda an at arms length sibling if you will”.

“Since you’re dating a ghosts and illegally selling ghost tech? Yeah I can get that”.

Fenton nodding, “ditto. And if she did show up back here I’d slap some sense into her and tell her to get lost before she regrets it”; ahh getting maybe a little bit too real there but oh well. Jazz was a Fenton, which meant that Amity was a place she had to stay the hell away from; Jack and Maddie she had to stay the hell away from. Hopefully she never forgets that.

Then Star pops back in, “alright that’s everyone who’s coming!”. Getting a bunch of raised glasses and food stuff in return. A dark-skinned man with dreads coming in behind her, or… rolling in behind her.

That was…

Tucker was in a wheelchair?!?! What happened! Half the damn point was those two not getting fucking hurt! Was there no point? Had it been a hopeless endeavour?

It takes a bit to avoid dissolving Phantom. As it is his ghost selves eyes flare up a little and his ecto-field wiggles concerningly. Val kicks Phantom in the boot, to stabilise him maybe? He doesn’t know and he doesn’t care. He needs to know what happened, how it happened, could he have done something different? Fenton absently muttering, “I’m going to go say hi”. Val giving him a bit of a supportive back pat that he barely notices, she physically blocks Phantom him from following with a whispered, “Tucker’s Danny Fenton’s old friend, not Phantom’s stay put you”.

Sliver nodding, “I guess it’s no surprise you’re an over protective boyfriend”.

Fenton blinking down at Tucker, “Tuck”. And the guy raises an eyebrow, “been a while since I’ve been called that”; making Fenton, and Phantom, wince. Star walks away quickly, easily picking up on the awkward and probably way to private atmosphere.

Fenton blinks again, “you’re in a wheelchair”.

“Yeah I noticed”, Tucker sighing when Danny doesn’t really have a response to that that wasn’t horrifically insensitive. Tucker putting his hands on his lap, “Danny, you kinda lost the right to ask a while ago, but since you’re concerned enough to talk to me properly for the first time in nearly fourteen years, it’s genetic. I have a type of muscular dystrophy. Now can I get past and grab some food or?”.

Again, both Danny’s wince, him realising that the Fenton one was practically blocking Tucker from getting his… wheelchair past. Fenton stepping to the side with a neck rub, “sorry about that”.

“Whatever, man”.

Danny just kind of stares as the man goes, it hurt a little. The dismissal. But he expected it and it was okay. At least… at least it was nothing he could have done anything about. If anything this means that Danny was right to push him away. Being involved with ghosts would have gotten him killed probably. But… getting diagnosed and eventually having to use mobility aids had probably been crushing to him… and Danny hadn’t been there to support him. Any ounce of support he tried to give now would just seem hollow and like pity. Former friend was the right label for them and he should just let the man go, shouldn’t follow after.

He does of course. Fenton him does. Because the wheelchair and subsequent mild protective freakout has thrown him off kilter. He can tell the man’s glaring at the food table, Fenton him can see it in the reflection of some of the glasses. “Danny I’m really not interested in ‘catching up’ with you”.

Fenton stares a little before Danny can remember himself and that humans find staring creepy. Shaking his head, “right yeah, that makes sense”. Maybe he’d have better luck and less hostility with Phantom him? “Can I ask what you do at least? Then I’ll get out of your hair. You don’t have to ask me shit, or you can, it’s whatever”.

Tucker actually smacks a fist on the table, “I know the only damn reason you’re even trying is because I’m disabled now, so fuck off”.

Shit. Okay. That wasn’t how he was trying to be interpreted. “Tuck-”.

“Don’t”.

Fenton snarls, properly snarling, startling his former friend, “just because we stopped being friends doesn’t mean I stopped giving a damn. But fine, fuck it, whatever”, and basically stomps off. He doesn’t turn around when Tucker mutters a possibly regretful, “shit”. If the man wants to be an ass then fine, let him be an ass by himself. It’s better Danny doesn’t care anyways, it’s better they end on bad terms. Fuck it and fuck him.

Val’s kicking Phantom him again, since Phantom had snarled too. Shit whatever. Fuck it if he’s freaking anyone out, they’re all assholes anyways. Val eyeing the ticked of Fenton, “your mood is rubbing off on someone”.

“I’m fully fucking aware, Val”.

She smacks him over the head, “well pull your shit together, you can’t expect him to want to be friendly with you after all this time”.

“Yeah well I didn’t expect to basically get told to go fuck myself either, jackass”.

Both Val and Silver frowning, Silver shaking their head, “okay yeah that’s a little rude, but he might be going through some stuff, you don’t know. You staring at the chair probably didn’t help”.

“My mind goes to worst case scenarios so excuse me if the thought of someone I used to be extremely close with getting into some kind of horrible accident was upsetting”.

Phantom huffing and crossing his arms, “being dead or surrounded by the dead tends to do that”. Now he wishes Tucker hadn’t shown up at all. He’s going to be pissed off about this for days, fucking asshole.

Val sighs, “okay you’re not wrong on that, I thought the same. At least I didn’t freaking ask though, Danny. I thought you were just going to say hi, not be an insensitive jerk”.

Fenton scowls at her, sticking his arms out, “I didn’t fucking ask, he just assumed I wanted to, which yeah was right”, and grumbles a little incoherently before taking some breaths to avoid snarling at anyone else especially not the only human connection he still had. Ugh.

Val shakes her head at him, “okay I guess you can get to be annoyed, not mad, annoyed. Star’s civil with me even though we had our falling out”, crossing her arms, “Paulina not so much”.

Fenton grumbling, “if Sam had shown up I’d expect her to slap me at this point. Fucking zone”.

Star hums, having apparently made her way over after overhearing her name, “yeah she replied in the discord chat that she wouldn’t deign to show up to rejoin a shitty town full of people that were morally horrific”.

“Ancients that’s messed up, what the Zone Sam”. Fenton blinks and shakes his head, what the hell happened with her? He doesn’t want to know. Was she always that egocentric and holier than thou? If so it was probably better for everyone she had no say in him and what he does. Did childhood him just suck at picking friends? “Wait. There’s a discord?”.

Star puts a hand on her hip and cocks an eyebrow, “yup. All anyone could find on you was an address so we couldn’t exactly give you a code in”.

Val shaking her head and forcing a little laugh, eyeing Fenton, “if I had known no one had your number I would have sent it. I figured you just had no interest in messaging anyone, like me”, she waves a hand dismissively, “I confirmed I was showing up and dipped”.

Fucking great. Love it.

Danny notices Tucker pushing himself over to talk to Jesse. Danny chooses to ignore that. If he sends Phantom over he might just accidentally start a brawl and that was a very bad idea.

Star shakes her head, “would it kill either of you to be a bit more sociable?”.

Fenton immediately responding with, “yes”. Phantom with, “already did”. And Val with, “probably”. Making Star sigh and Silver laugh; Silver walking off right after, Danny pretending not to notice them point aggressively at Tucker. Ugh.

“Phantom! Come meet my husband! He’s heard stories about you and got curious!”. Phantom glancing to the side at Ashely then to Fenton with a quirked eyebrow.

Fenton waving him off, “go, I’ll be fine, you stupid celebrity”. Danny makes a point to have Phantom give Fenton a quick peck on the cheek, making Fenton blush a little, before running off. Val’s barely restrained look of horror is so worth it and definitely improves his mood.

Star shakes her head, “well at least it looks like you’re in a better mood now, this is supposed to be fun”.

“Then why are all the drinks liquor free?”.

“Because Todd has a liquor problem and I know you know it”.

Okay yeah that wasn’t wrong. All the local bartenders knew him by first and last name, zone some knew the middle one too. Sure they also knew Danny by first and both lasts but that was for an entirely different reason… he did also drink though so like it was a toss up. Then she glances to the side, winces slightly, and jambs a thumb over her shoulder, “anyway’s I’m going to check on everyone else. See if more people are better off not being in the same room”. Ouch. True but she didn’t need to say it. Star pointing at Val, “you’re coming whether you like it or not, you can talk to Danny whenever you want”. Val grumbles but doesn’t put up a fight.

Fenton shaking his head and laughing a little to himself, now what should he do? He frankly didn’t feel like dealing with anyone now, especially not all these chuckle fucks. He’s half tempted to just wander into the bathroom and stare at the mirror for twenty minutes self actualising or whatever. Grimacing, yeah he’s gonna do that, plus all this ecto free food was grating on his stomachs nerves.

He could eat normal foods, it’s just the ecto made it taste better and easier on his system to digest. Didn’t help that he grew up eating contaminated shit, thanks Maddie and Jack, and basically only ate contaminated shit after the whole half dying thing; it was an easy thing to do in Amity after all since everything was contaminated. But this was Elmerton and the food was definitely from outside the city, probably to specifically ensure it was ecto free. Yuck.

So Fenton meanders his way over to the gym bathroom/locker room, stuffing a hand in his pocket as he goes. Him popping into the sink and mirror area, kicking the door closed-ish and pulling out an ectoplasm vial at the same time, tossing it back without much hesitation. He didn’t hear anyone else in here and plus he also didn’t super care, which fine was partly because his attention was split into two different places and almost no one would really genuinely question him outside of Val obviously.

Granted Val would know exactly what he was doing and why.

“Did you seriously think I’d been hurt bad?”.

“Fuck!”, Fenton jumps, tossing the vial in the air, (Phantom jerking in his conversation about welding of all things) at the frankly very unexpected sound of Tucker’s voice. It took some doing to actually startle him, but guesses he was in his own head enough that someone was able to pull it off. Didn’t help that he just came from a room full of people whose scents he doesn’t recognise anymore. It bothered him a little. Fenton turning away from the mirror and looking down at Tucker, “uh?”. And then the fucking ecto vial clinks on to the ground and rolls across it in that loud way glass tends to do. Well fuck him, this shit is entirely his fault right oh wow this is instantly awkward.

Tucker stares down at the vial on the ground before looking back up at Fenton, “new question, what was that”.

See that did not sound like a question. Okay, self, shit, what to say? If this was anyone else, other than Val, he’d just say it was a weird Amity energy drink and he was tired and to piss off. Zone he’s tempted to say that crap anyways, but Tucker had sounded… apologetic, even if he’d startled Danny. He can’t not lie though. Well… technically, if he mentally twisted things around enough, calling ecto an addiction for him wasn’t wrong per say. He legit couldn’t exist without ecto, his system was dependent on it, so like, he could go with that? And now Tucker’s glaring at him like he’s thinking about ramming into Danny. Fenton blinking before shrugging awkwardly, “addiction’s compulsory, or whatever. And yes?”. Crap this was a really stupid plan of action. Way more stupid than dating himself, Ancients.

Tucker blinks, “addiction?”, shaking his head, “I don’t even care about the first question now”, frowning, “well I do, you jerk, but less”.

That’s fair, Danny thinks. Fenton shrugs, “that accident fucked me up, okay? Kinda needed ectoplasm ever since. Which sure, wasn’t exactly something I wanted to share with anyone. And maybe I didn’t deal with that well, but I think I dealt with that right. And I guess that’s all that matters”. Okay cool, so this is how he’s going to explain ditching them as friends, great. Fuck Danny’s so goddamn stupid. ‘Addiction’ was not on his bingo card of how to explain how weird he was to people… he really should update that stupid card.

Tucker’s glaring again like Danny’s done something wrong, except Danny doesn’t know why Fenton him is getting glared at this time. “Are you lying to me?”.

Fenton glaring back before sticking out his tongue, which was coated in faintly glowing green of course. Pulling his tongue back in, “do you know anything else that looks like that besides ecto? ‘Cause I sure don’t”; that had a bit more bite than he meant it to but oh well, he’s still kinda ticked off with this man so…

“And it doesn’t get you high?”.

Okay see now Danny’s getting actually ticked again. Fucking damn it. “No. Now if you’re going to just ride my ass then let me out so I can go somewhere that isn’t here”.

Tucker doesn’t move, in fact he locks his damn wheels, “no. Because that last conversation made me feel like an asshole and I refuse to feel like an asshole over you deciding to isolate yourself”, gesturing at the vial that’s still on the ground, “especially if all of it was over some stupid ectoplasm issue, you jack ass”.

“So what I’m hearing is you’re just being selfish”.

“So what if I am, I think I’ve earned that from you”.

Danny makes Fenton him relax over that, because if anything letting people take their issues out on him was something he was good for. “Ugh I guess that’s okay then”.

Now Tucker’s glaring again, “what”.

For fucks sake. “Dude, you’ve known me for years, since when did I ever put myself first? If you want to use me as a punching bag to unload your issues on, go right ahead”, snorting, “cause yeah, I’m well fucking aware it’s been earned. If you were Dash I’d tell you to piss off again”.

Tucker sticks his arms out, basically smacking the door, “so you’ll tell me to ‘piss off’ over not wanting to talk to you but won’t over me wanting to berate you?! Seriously?!”.

“Yes”. Fuck that was weird wasn’t it? Do normal human people do that? Or was he coming off as a massive hypocrite? Or as a masochist maybe?

Tucker pinches the bridge of his nose, still doesn’t unlock his chair though, “damn it, you have a bunch of mental issues now, don’t you”.

“Rude”.

“Yeah well now I just feel like more of an asshole, so there”.

They stare at each other for a beat, Danny’s trying really hard to mostly ignore Phantom having to play nice with Dale and his loose tongue again, apparently the guy really liked bluey. Fuck when was the last time Danny got really genuinely into any tv show? Had he even watched one since he dropped out? Crap probably not. If he had down time he was usually laying on the floor staring at the ceiling with a music playlist running, or having a quick drink with Val, or trying to study ghost history, or replaying an old video game he’s beaten hundreds of times just to feel young and carefree again.

Wow that had to be unhealthy. Not that he really cared about that. Blinking at Tucker, “so… what do you do for work”.

“I’m not telling you”.

“Fuck you too then I guess”.

Tucker puts his face in a hand and sighs very deeply with a muttered, “I was right, I really should not have come”, before lifting his head up and glaring up at Danny with goddamn pity in his eyes, “look, okay, I am sorry about brushing you off if you were genuinely worried about me having been badly injured and I guess I’m sorry you have this addiction issue, but you brought it on yourself. Me and Sam could have helped, you ass”.

“Tuck-”, crap he’s back to calling him ‘Tuck’ goddamn it, “-my head was a fucking mess after that shit, I have literally no memory from the three months after that crap. Just a boat load of pain cutting straight to sitting up in bed violently vomiting up ectoplasm. Excuse me for making some jack ass choices but again, I stand by those choices”, running a hand through his hair and leaning his ass back against the sink, “I thought that shit was gonna end with me dead, sooner rather than later, and I didn’t want to take you guys down with me. So I had to choose between the life I had with you guys and the moral thing to do. Kinda an obvious choice there, to me”. Honestly? Why was he explaining this shit now? Was it because his life was somehow less chaotic now? Or because he was an adult ghost and fully grown into what and who he was? Loneliness perhaps? Or did he just not want Tucker to actually hate him?

Tucker stares at him before wheezing, “Christ I wish you had just told at least me that”, massaging his temples and using the chairs arms to rest his elbows on, “if I remember right, which I might not, you basically didn’t talk and just stared blankly, it was creepy but your parents assured everyone you wouldn’t have any ‘long term’ issues. That you were just recovering and in shock. Not that dumbass fourteen year olds knew shit about shock-”.

Seriously? Seriously! What the Hell! Fenton blurting out, “what the zone is wrong with them! in what world would getting electrocuted by literally billions of volts not have a lasting effect?!”.

“-me and Sam basically carried you everywhere and babied you and then you suddenly flipped on us and avoided us like the plagu- wait what”.

Tucker looks horrified, crap that was not Danny’s goal. Oh well, he’s in it now. Fenton blinking, “Jack and Maddie sucking is what”.

“Dude”.

Fenton swallowing and rubbing his neck, “you guys were taking care of me?”. Okay so maybe Danny had been more of a jerk to them than he realised but still. Tucker glares so Danny bites the bullet and has Fenton respond properly, Tucker was an adult now not some teen who’d do stupid shit like follow Danny Phantom’s sorry ass into combat, “it was something like four billion volts, it was a miracle I wasn’t instantly vaporised into ash. As it was apparently Jazz came home to them attempting to bury what they thought was my dead body in the back yard, apparently I woke up during the argument and crawled out and ran into trees for three days”.

“They told us you were missing because you were in another cities hospital! They tried to bury you?!?”. Somehow Jack and Maddie just keep getting worse. Tucker wheezes again, “well regardless of you becoming an asshole, I’m glad you didn’t die, holy shit”, staring at Danny, “is that why you were so weird about my wheelchair? You thought something like that had happened to me?”. He takes Fenton’s wince as a yes. “Ugh fine you’re forgiven for that then, I can’t hold what’s probably severe trauma and ptsd against someone”, pointing at Danny, “you were still a jerk then and now though. And you basically shoving me away was awful and basically wrecked me mentally for a long time”.

Yeah Danny knew neither Sam nor Tucker took him pushing them away well, but being upset or depressed or confused or worried was better than getting caught in an undead fist fight or losing a limb or getting contaminated by him which he had thought back then would have been extremely dangerous. “I thought it was for the best, okay? And I didn’t mean to hurt you when I was basically hurting myself”.

“How the hell was push me away from my best friend ‘for the best’?!?”.

“Because I was all fucked up and I didn’t want my shit fucking you up”. That was part of it, at first anyways. Then it quickly became more of him having to be the hero and get into fights and not wanting anyone getting caught in the crossfires and waiting them to keep the ability to live normal fucking lives unlike him.

Tucker stares at him like he actually somehow gets it, huh, Danny didn’t see that one coming. “So you thought you’d get us sick? Or something? Just by being around us? Okay I know you’ve always been a bit of a dumbass but goddamn it, Danny”.

“I don’t know what the hell is happening in there but I’m taking a piss in the ladies room! what in the!”.

Both Fenton and Tuck (and Phantom for that matter) jerk a little from whoever shouted from outside the bathroom/locker room. Fenton cringing his face up, “right, this is a public space”.

Tucker sighing, “maybe not the best place for this crap conversation”, unlocking his wheels and roll backwards out of the little sink and mirror area doorway, “I’m still mad at you though”.

“That’s fair. I’m not looking to rekindle friendship or whatever”. Danny uses the man’s distraction to have Fenton telekinetically move the vial back into his hand and pocket.

“Seriously. Jerk”.

Fenton shrugs as he moves out of the little doorway, “I only really hang out with ghosts now and I actually am unsafe to be around too much if whoever doesn’t have a tolerance or protective gear, the ecto-contamination and shit”.

“That’s… pretty shitty actually”.

Fenton giving back a snide, “gee thanks”.

“You still shouldn’t have pushed us away. But I guess you still want to do that, so you do you I guess. Its not like I actually know you, or you me, anymore”.

“Yup”. Tucker bashes him in the back of the legs with the chair for that, “hey!”. Danny making Fenton sigh at the glare… and at Dash attempting to drill Phantom about football like that mattered anymore. Phantom couldn’t be sighing at Dash after all, images to maintain and all. “Look, Tucker, you got pissy over me staring at your wheelchair, that tells me your life’s doing pretty alright actually. If I was in a wheelchair and someone was staring I’d assume they were trying figure out how to use it to kill me. I sell weapons illegally and am dating a death god king, I’m not really shit you wanna be involved in”.

“What about Valerie?”, Tucker making a bit of a face, “that soul mate ghost thing I’ve been hearing is real?”.

Danny is absolutely about to throw Val under the bus, servers her right for still hanging around his half dead ass. “She… is a coworker let’s say, a not legal one”, not technically a lie, the Red Huntress wasn’t legally allowed to do what she did, it was just that no one could actually stop her. Thank fuck for that. Fenton huffing, “and we mostly only talk over drinks or if we run into each other during ghost attacks”. Then smirking, “and oh yeah me and Phantom are fucking match made in hell”. His own personal hell of protective desire and pain.

“You know what, you’re right. You’re an asshole, a criminal, and a necrophiliac; I’m out. I almost want to try but you stopped being worth it years ago. Still glad you’re not dead though”.

On one hand Danny wants to smack the guy, on the other hand Danny’s getting exactly what he wanted; and ain’t that just a terrible thing?

“How’d you find out you needed ectoplasm?”.

Oh Ancients, well… nothing was weirder than the truth with that one and fuck it at this point. “First time I ran into a whisp ghost I, kinda, couldn’t, exactly, stop myself from eating it”.

“You… ate a ghost?”.

“It was a really bad day and I’d rather you keep that in confidence”. Man he legit wants to get out of this damn bathroom/locker room now. Ugh. He starts walking to the door.

Tucker makes a gagging sound, muttering, “no one would even believe me anyway. I’m starting to think he did actually do me a favour as kids and that kinda pisses me off a little. I’ve spent too long being mad at that shit ass for me to feel good about that shit”.

Danny making Fenton pause at the door, one hand on it, “dude, I have freaky good hearing, go see your therapist and I hope you have one. You’re not the lost cause in this bathroom”, and then pushes his way out, leaving his old friend and the friendship more firmly behind.

He absolutely has Phantom ‘rescue’ Fenton immediately, throwing an arm around Fenton’s neck and ruffling his hair with the other hand, “I have escaped Dash and him ‘regaling me’ with his glory days”.

Danny makes Fenton sigh to seem tired, “that’s…”, brightening up, “thats good. He really did peek in Highschool, just like he said he would”. A self fulfilling prophecy, Danny pretty much did the exact same. The biggest jock and the biggest loser both fucking themselves up in the end; how ironic.

Danny makes Fenton sigh to seem tired, “that’s…”, brightening up, “that’s good. He really did peek in Highschool, just like he said he would”. A self fulfilling prophecy, Danny pretty much did the exact same. The biggest jock and the biggest loser both fucking themselves up in the end.

Then Val goes and actually rescues his ass, stomping over, “let’s bounce. I don’t want to be here or around these people anymore, and I want to get shitfaced until I start putting holes in walls or pass out on your crappy apartment floor”.

Fenton quirks an eyebrow, “you have literally never been over? How do you know it’s shitty?”.

“Because it’s your apartment”.

“Fuck you”.

Phantom quirking an eyebrow at her and tilting his head, “and who pissed you off?”.

Val grimaces, “Paulina, I swear she needs to get stabbed a couple times”.

Phantom laughing while Fenton gestures at Val with both of his hands, “no. Bad. If you start stabbing little miss pretty puddle I’ll get stuck having to clean up the blood before the cops show up-”. He can feel Tucker’s concerned eyes on him as the man wheels out of the bathroom/locker room. “-and I really don’t feel like being on crime scene clean up duty”.

Phantom perking up, “eh I could just phase it through the ground”.

“Don’t encourage her murderous desire”.

Val grins, though clearly still thinking this is super weird, “no, let him speak, he makes good points”.

“His only point is letting you make a point with a knife point”. She scowls at Fenton’s joke immediately, nice, at least that makes him feel legitimately a bit better. Either way Danny is content to leave this place before shit goes anymore south, and he has frankly had enough of humans and their weirdly boring plain interests. Looking at the crowd, it actually looked like some others had left. Todd, no surprise there. Charlie that he doesn’t think he ever even talked to as Fenton, he’s not sure if they talked in high school either though. Two of the jocks also looked to have bounced, Dash was still her of course and Scott didn’t look like he actually wanted to be talking to him. Ha. Brittany doesn’t look to be around either, meaning Sarah’s probably gone too if she was ever even here.

And then.

Of fucking course.

His ghost sense goes off.

Val’s reaction is instant, her folding out a blaster, the second she notices both Danny’s straightening up, stiff, and glancing around. Danny making both hims relax with annoyed sighs when he realizes who it is or one of the whos whatever. Phantom waving Val off, “it’s an eyeball, don’t”. The woman throws her hands up a bit, clearly annoyed that it was one of the ghosts that Danny was pretty strict on her not fighting.

Danny making Fenton scowl deeply, “oh fucking goddamn it, not those assholes”. Phantom rolling his green eyes fondly before stepping forward some and cupping his hands around his mouth, Danny should at least warn these people, “hey! Non-hostile incoming! They’re probably just showing to annoy me!”.

The reactions is immediate. Guess spending multiple teenage years in a town constantly plagued by ghost attacks tends to stick with you. Everyone pulling away from the walls, and anything box-shaped, and sticking to groups while glancing around in mild panic. The Observant comes up through the floor, jerk, in all their eye-ball shaped ugly cloak wearing green-skinned annoyance. “Phantom-”. Oh Danny can tell they’re here to lecture him or chastise him or something equally annoying and pointless. Nope. He’s not putting up with this.

Fenton smacking Phantom, “make me a suction dart gun construct”. Danny having Phantom do that without hesitation, even if it was a bit harder to make ecto-energy constructs outside of Amity or the Ghost Zone. Phantom passing over the sorta weapon, it has a pump action shotgun reload for comedic effect. Fenton pumping it immediately and shooting the Observant in the head/eye, “not today, eyeball asshole”.

“Phantom-”.

Oh how chastising, Fenton shots him again, “no”. The suction cups are actually sticking, awesome. But he’s got no interest in actually letting the eyeball actually say anything, so Fenton stalks over, putting a finger in the ghosts face, “fuck off, ‘Phantom’ isn’t your goddamn servant”. The Observant doesn’t look remotely chastised which frankly Danny’s a little goddamn ticked off about. These guys were constantly riding his ass and they act like they had some sort of high ground on him which they did not. So Danny has Fenton kick the ghost in the chest and basically jump on their chest, pointing the ‘gun’ in its eyeball/face and shooting it enough to cover its whole iris; its point blank enough to actually injury the ghost. The Observants were always more powerful as a mass than alone.

“Are you done?!”.

Fenton smirking, “no”, and smacking the ghost on the top of their head with the butt of the ‘gun’. Lowing the ‘weapon’ some, sighing tiredly, “now if this isn’t something actually important, I’m going to rip off all of your limbs”. And Danny means that, he will, he’s had it up to here with these guys.

The Observant, seeming to get this, just fucking disappears with a, “you need to be bound”; like he wasn’t aware they hated how much power he had.

“Fuck you. You exist in my favour”, Fenton hurling the ‘gun’ construct at the ground, it bouncing up a bit before dissolving into goo. Stupid jackasses.

“Geez Fenton where was that in high school, what the hell!”.

Both Danny’s jerking, Fenton looking back to Steven, “do you know how many ghosts annoy me because of that asshole?”, gesturing a thumb at Phantom who glances around innocently. Fenton huffing, “and yeah maybe I enjoy annoying the ones that annoy him, sue me”.

What makes it so clear that basically all these people have nothing to do with Amity any more is how all of them look on edge, nervous, unsettled, scared. They don’t ‘bounce back’ instantly and more than a couple eye Phantom nervously like they had just now remembered how arguably dangerous he could be. That Phantom was a ghost and could very well kill everyone in this room without much effort. As if Danny ever would do such a thing, he was a protector and if they wanted to forget that then screw them. Amity always was the weird place where humans and ghosts could actually remotely get along, even that was a crap shoot, humans would always be unsettled by ghosts and trying for genuine coexistence was fucking pointless. These people simply being away from ghosts for a few years and yet acting put off by one that was less human simply showing up was almost insulting to all his effort. Whatever, what did he care if most of humanity was too damn weak to handle not being the top of the food chain. Making Fenton scoff at everyone’s stares, “guess I should get gone, huh?”, and nods his head at Phantom.

Phantom stretching out and floating up to sort of lay in the air on his back, finger gunning at Val, “coming?”, as he moves to hover around Fenton’s head, ruffling Fenton’s hair fondly.

Jason blinking, “you know, I almost felt like I missed Highschool, thanks for reminding me why I absolutely do not”, and wheezes. While Star waves the two Danny’s off, “yeah should have guessed a ghost that wasn’t invited might follow Phantom”.

Phantom chuckling, “what can I say, I’m very attractive”. Making Fenton snort and blush, “shut up, you stupid ghost”. And making Phantom snicker meanly at Fenton.

Kwan shouting, “you better have a cute wedding!”.

Val rolling her eyes at the pair, pocketing her gun, and walking towards them while waving a hand over her shoulder, “bye. This was nice though”, muttering to herself barely loud enough for even Danny to hear, “regardless of certain people”.

Fenton rolling his eyes and waving at everyone, “I’d say you can easily visit me but I made myself hard to find for a damn reason and I vaguely hate most of your guts, peace bitches”. Phantom facepalming, watching Val and Fenton walk towards the door for a beat before looking to the people, him still floating up in the air, “everyone’s free to give me a visit of course, even though the fact that no one had before makes it kinda clear no one will, no hard feelings about that by the by. Besides, when you die we’ll met again”.

Star sighs at him, “that’s needlessly ominous, Phantom”. Phantom shrugging before floating off, “I’m dead, I don’t know what you expect. I can tell that none of you are going to die soon, so there’s that”, and giving them a thumbs up, absolutely ignoring how that doesn’t seem to actually make anyone feel better. It’s not Danny’s problem if ‘normal’ people aren’t comforted with ominous messages about the not so untimely demise, he thinks it would be a good thing knowing you’re not gonna die soon. Like really. He personally would have loved a heads up that he was gonna half die when that shit happened, a little count down or something would have been nice. A little count down to obliterating everything he used to be and wanted to be.

You know.

For the dramatics.

Danny absorbs his duplicate as soon as he’s outside of easy viewing range of the building, Val quirking an eyebrow at him, “I’m guessing you didn’t drive here?”.

“No? Why would I do that? And neither did you”.

She snorts at him, summoning out her board, “well hop on, I’m still down for drinks so”.

Danny eyes the board, “naw I probably should pass”. Bonding wasn’t really a good idea anyways.

She rolls her eyes, “come on, don’t be a stranger”.

“Being a stranger is kinda the point”. He has every intention of just going invisible and flying off, but she grabs his arm and yanks him onto the board before he can follow through on that thought, her muttering about him being a dumbass the whole time. Danny eyeing her, hands in his pockets and just sitting on the board, stupid stubborn ghost hunters.

Though… looking down, it was kinda nice to watch the city sights this leisurely. It’s filled with spots of damage and things being repaired even here in Elmerton still. It was impossible for everything to stay contained in one simple city after all, sometimes Danny debating expanding is human lair a bit more, just to keep more of an eye on more of it. Perhaps that was a speck of greed or just his overprotective nature.

Really it wouldn’t take much, honestly he had the power and ability to take over the entire planet if he so chose. And really, ghosts did crop up everywhere, and further ecto-contaminated cities and towns would just make more places possible to be common ground of sorts.

It wasn’t a bad idea…

Just not a good or human one either. He had to play human games to thrive and be accepted in the human world, even if those games were sometimes stupid and annoying and isolating. Hmmm… maybe he should get drinks with Val, she was at least slightly better with normal human things than him.

Looking down, there’s some patches of green growing in ash. Life from death, strength from destruction. Kinda like him.

She lands them on the ground, Danny standing easily as her board folds up becoming nanobots under and through her veins; an altered state of being similar and not to himself. Her making ‘come on’ gestures at him before heading in to one of the more beat down bars that don’t ask questions and assumes every patron is involved in something shady or another.

And Danny follows. Maybe he was a little too much of a loner.

End.

Prompts: Pretending to be someone's boyfriend for a night was not as high on Danny's list of crazy-ideas-he-should've-said-no-to as, say, agreeing to become the King of all ghosts, but it was definitely up there. Ten years since Danny graduated high school, and fourteen years since his accident. The former A-listers are organizing a high school reunion, and somehow both Danny AND Phantom got an invite… Seriously, how are these things still happening to him? Parents take apart Danny’s telescope for a new invention. Being dead somewhat drastically shuffles around your priorities. It's been a long time since Danny was able to remember what a human would feel to be important. Tucker Foley's terrible, awful, very bad day. No one knows au identity reveal

[ladykailitha]

Fake Boyfriend Part 1

This was going to be an AO3 exclusive until I found out I couldn't do the strikethrough coding for the titles over there and until I think of one that works as well as this one does, it goes here first. There is a second part that will be posted on Tuesday as it got a tad too long for Tumblr (clocking out at over 3k).

Summary: After most of the older teens have gone off to college, Eddie goes over to Steve's to hang out. When he finds Steve on the phone with one of his co-workers, he tells Steve to pretend Eddie is his boyfriend to get the guy to back off via notes on his notebook. It works better than he could possibly dream as the more Steve describes his "boyfriend" the more it sounds real.

***

Eddie let himself into the Harrington mansion like he always did, backpack slung over his shoulder. Steve and he was long since past caring about knocking on each others’ houses’ doors. Bedrooms on the other hand were sacrosanct and closed doors were to be respected at all times, but their houses? Open invitation. Always.

He went straight to the kitchen because if Steve was going to be anywhere in that labyrinthine house of his, it was going to be the kitchen. He entered through the open doorway just as Steve snapped.

“Fuck you!” he growled.

Eddie frowned. “Hey!”

Steve turned and he could see that Steve was on the phone with someone. The other man mouthed, ‘Sorry!’ when he spotted Eddie in the doorway.

“I gave you this number for work purposes only,” Steve continued with a sigh. “I’m just not interested in you, Caleb. How many times do I have to tell you?”

Understanding slowly dawned over Eddie. He knew who Steve was talking to now. Caleb worked at the same hair salon Steve did and was constant thorn in Steve’s side. Always flirting with him and just generally making Steve uncomfortable.

He ripped the backpack off of his shoulder and started digging around. He pulled out a notebook and a pen. He turned to a blank page and wrote: TELL HIM YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND

Steve looked at the sign with a frown of confusion. ‘But I don’t’ he mouthed back.

Eddie pointed at himself.

Steve chewed on his thumb for a moment before he nodded. “Caleb!” he said interrupting the other man’s stream of consciousness that he was just spewing at Steve on the end of the line. “Look. I didn’t want to have to pull this card because ‘no’ is a complete sentence, but I have a boyfriend.”

Eddie gave him a thumbs up.

“I haven’t brought him up before because he’s not out–”

Eddie scoffed, smirking with a raised eyebrow.

“I mean we’re not out as a couple to our friends and family,” Steve amended, sticking his tongue out at him. “Of course they know I’m bisexual and he’s gay, they just don’t know that we’ve been dating.”

That was certainly true, especially considering that they weren’t actually dating.

Eddie scribbled another note: WAYNE

“Well,” Steve said with a huff of laughter, “his uncle knows, but my parents don’t.”

Eddie started on another note, but Steve beat him to it. “It’s a small house and thin walls, the dude was going to find out sooner or later.”

Eddie nearly choked on his own tongue. His eyes nearly bulged out of his head in shock.

Steve laughed. “And have my parents walk in on us? Fuck that. I trust his Uncle Wayne way more than I do my parents.”

Eddie looked down at the half-written message that would have spelled out TRUST with a fond smile on his face.

Steve rolled his eyes. “What do you mean you want me to prove he exists? Like describe him or something?”

Eddie jotted down another note: PERSISTANT BASTARD

Steve slammed a hand over his mouth to cover the laugh that bubbled to his lips.

He cleared his throat. “So are we talking looks or personality?” he asked. “Because I could go on about both.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow, causing Steve’s cheeks flush.

“Looks?” Steve asked, his voice a little high at the absurdity of it all. “Oh. Wow. Yeah. He’s got the most amazingly soulful brown eyes I’ve ever seen outside of the movies. I’ve heard people describe them as doe-eyed or puppy-dog eyes. They aren’t bad descriptions, just... not close enough. I don’t think there is a word or phrase that matches their glory.”

Eddie shoved his hair in front of mouth to hide his embarrassment. Steve took a step toward him.

“He has long hair in soft curly locks that frame his face,” Steve continued and Eddie dropped the aforementioned lock, choosing to duck his head, and look away, rocking back on his heels.

Steve took another step forward. “He has these dimples that just light up his whole countenance when he smiles. They are the single most kissable part of his face, if you don’t include his lips.”

Eddie’s mind was spinning out of control, because there was no way Steve was making this up on the spot. These had to be things Steve had actually thought about.

But Steve wasn’t done talking. “He’s whipcord thin, but don’t let that fool you. He is strong, so strong.”

Eddie head jerked up and stared at Steve in amazement.

The other boy ducked his head, twirling his fingers around the phone cord. “I told you could go on and on about his looks, man. I could tell you about how long his eyelashes are or his legs that give him this causal sensuality that should be fucking illegal.”

Eddie didn’t think he could get any redder. He was so, so wrong.

“You want me to wax poetic about his personality now?” Steve asked incredulously. “No, I’m not describing Jon Bon Jovi. He’d be offended at the comparison. Eddie Van Halen is closer to the mark, or maybe Kirk Hemmett if you really make him blush.”

Cue Eddie’s blush burning his ears and flushing his throat; a part of his body that was refusing to do what it was supposed to and fucking allow breath to enter his lungs.

“What’s he like?” Steve breathed and Eddie was instantly jealous of his ability to do so. “He is so smart.”

Eddie snorted divisively.

“The school system may have failed him more times then I care to count,” Steve insisted, “but god, he is so clever, coming up with stories on fly. He has all this knowledge of so many things. He learned elvish and is learning dwarfish.” He snorted. “Because he can.”

Eddie blushed. Even his friends from Hellfire and Corroded Coffin thought he was a little insane trying to learn those languages. Not Steve, apparently.

“He uses it for his D&D games–campaigns, sorry,” Steve said, more to Eddie then to Caleb. Eddie mouthed ‘It’s okay.’ And Steve lit up with the brightest smile.

He took another step forward. “You know those kids that come into the store all the time?” Steve burst out laughing. “Yes, my kids. He loves them as much as I do. Maybe even more.”

Eddie scrambled to write another note: NOT POSSIBLE

Steve blushed this time. “Understands them better, certainly.”

Eddie cocked his head to the side and half shrugged. That was fair.

“He DMs for them every week,” Steve continued. “DM? Oh that stands for dungeon master. It’s like the storyteller or master of the story. He sets the path for the characters to follow or blatantly ignore.”

Eddie huffed out a laugh.

“He does the voices for each person the party meets and it always makes me laugh,” Steve said. “My favorite is the voice he did for the princess. I don’t think there was a dry eye from all the laughing everyone was doing.”

Eddie grinned. That was his favorite, too. He had done it to make Steve laugh, the fact that it had made everyone else laugh too was just icing on the cake.

“Which, of course, impressed Dustin,” Steve said. He paused. “Oh Dustin is the one with curly hair and those hats.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. That’s another strike against this Caleb dude, not knowing the names of Steve’s kids. Like they came as a packaged deal. Everyone knew that.

Steve cleared his throat and looked down as he too felt Caleb’s disinterest keenly as well. “Anyway, anyone who can impress that little butthead is number one in my book.”

Eddie smiled tenderly at Steve before he jotted down a note again. YOU IMPRESS HIM TOO.

Steve blushed. “He can take his talent for story telling into song writing as well. He might not be the singer of his band–” There was another pause. “Yeah, an honest to god, plays at The Hideout every Tuesday metal band. He plays guitar. Lead, not rhythm. His best friend Jeff is rhythm guitar and their lead singer. He can read music and learn a song by ear. Do you know how fucking rare that is? To be able to do both? Trust me, it’s rare, okay?”

“Look, Caleb,” Steve growled, “don’t get pissy with me. You asked me describe my boyfriend. I warned you that I could go on and on.”

Eddie could barely breathe. This was starting to feel less like an excuse to get this asshole to stop harassing Steve and more and more real with every compliment that came out of his friend’s mouth.

Steve’s own breath caught in his chest. He looked directly at Eddie, so full of adoration, Eddie was sure his heart full on stopped.

“Yeah, of course I do,” Steve murmured, “of course I love him. God, how could I not. He means everything to me.” He tried to step forward but the cord got caught in his fingers, so he unwrapped it and took a final step toward Eddie. The cord was now taut, stretched as far as it could go.

Eddie could tell that the scant two feet between them was too far for Steve, but he was tethered to phone. He knew that that ache and longing in Steve’s face mirrored his own expression.

“And I am so grateful I get to call him mine...” Steve finished, his breath shallow as he fought to get his heart rate under control.

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***

Part 2

[sourgreenlupin]

wolfstar fake relationship trope

i havent decided if i actually wanna write this out yet but here is a concept

(mention of handjobs but the word is literally all there is)

remus getting fed up with people joining his study groups just for the idea of being able to get with him, so he has sirius start showing up to sessions and pretending to be his boyfriend.

sirius like r e a l l y playing it up. like not just the hand holding or like arm around the shoulder, i mean he’s kissing remus at every opportunity. he’s sitting in his lap and kissing wherever he can before remus swats him off bc ‘Merlin we are in Public’.

and then its sirius pulling him behind bookshelves when people arent looking and pulling him into the most passionate kiss ever shared between ‘friends’. and then sirius is breathless and staring into remus’ eyes for a little too long every time.

and then sirius starts doing things even when people arent around.

‘its just practice remus, c’monnnnn’

and remus is confused. because why do they need to practice handjobs for this. but obviously he’s so down for that.

and then sirius starts sleeping in remus’ bed. and stealing remus’ clothes. and using pet names. and getting remus gifts. and leaving notes for remus whenever he has to leave before remus is up.

and the whole tone has shifted. remus may be dumb, but hes not stupid. somewhere along the line, the lines got blurred. and he stopped acting. and clearly sirius isnt acting.

and remus somehow ended up in a real relationship without ever talking about it.

and remus never gets the chance to bring it up because then he walks down to the common room and sirius is waiting with flowers and an unreasonable amount of chocolate.

and sirius gives a big long speech about ‘it started as an act. and then i realised i was more comfortable this way than i ever was as just friends, always too far apart and too scared to get closer. thank god for people trying to get into your pants or i wouldnt be here today doing this. ironic. but it stopped being fake for me a while ago, and i can tell it did for you. make it official ? for real this time.’

and remus almost smacks him for being so sweet but decides to just nod his head and smile fondly at his boyfriend.

[fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic]

Good Omens Fic Rec: Big Name Feelings

FANDOM AU! • Crowley is a BNF fic writer, and Aziraphale is a lurking artist who might be just a little parasocially in love with him. How they ever became friends is beyond him, but here they are: One month out from Prophet Con, and Crowley is asking him to be his boyfriend. Just for the weekend, of course.

Length: 103,997 words

AO3 Rating: Explicit / Spice Level 🔥🔥🔥

Best for: Safe in Public, Human AU, Slow Burn, Fake Relationship, Pick-me-up

Triggers: None

Read it here, fic by ghostrat

*Minor Spoilers* It's here! The finale of one of the most entertaining and immersive fanworks that I have ever experienced is finally upon us! I feel like most of you who follow me here are aware of this fanfic or have read it. However, for those who haven't or might come across this post later: I'm begging you to read this one. Buckle up; it's a long post today.

So, if you're not aware, this fanfic involves writer Crowley and fan artist Aziraphale. Crowley, being ace, seeks a boyfriend to shield him from unwanted attention during an upcoming convention. Aziraphale, smitten, agrees to be the fake boyfriend. This Arrangement is sure to work out exactly as planned!

Every one of the author's stories feels cinematic to me. The worlds are always so real and immersive, but this one, in particular, will have you feeling like you're actually watching the story unfold in real life. Some of that is achieved through embedded media like chats, artwork, and Tumblr posts, bringing a sense of reality to these conversations. The rest comes from really rich prose. You'll flow through it very easily, yet deeply.

The use of fandom and a convention as the backdrop for this fic was, to be honest, genius. I've seen attempts before, but none captured the spirit quite like this one. The fandom lore for The Nice and Accurate Prophecy (the in-universe fandom they're in) was rich enough for us to fully grasp the shape and feel of why they loved it so much, yet it never impedes the ongoing story. This story perfectly captured what it's like to be a fan: how friendships develop, how ideas and fan theories are freely discussed, the passion for a shared topic. The con, in particular, will fill anyone who has ever attended a fan convention with a strong dose of nostalgia and love. Oh, and having them in their 50s? Thank you! There is no age limit to fandom!

Having Aziraphale as the artist and Crowley the writer was not the most obvious choice, but it's one that worked amazingly well for the story! Crowley struggles with words and expressing his feelings in real life. However, in stories, he can build his own world and express whatever emotions are on his mind. Aziraphale, who does not wish to draw attention to himself in real life, expresses himself through his bold and beautiful artwork. His specialization in traditional, physical artwork is so fitting for him, though he's not unwilling to try new tech. There is a scene where they stumble upon some street art that Aziraphale had done. I teared up at that scene, and it's not even angsty! Just the casualness of it, how it's not Aziraphale but Crowley who boldly leads them to it, how Aziraphale doesn't sing his own praises. He's not self-deprecating, but he doesn't celebrate his work. He's still learning that he has value that's worth celebrating. At least now he has Crowley to teach him to be proud of himself.

They are both beautifully written characters. It's a real testament to the skill of the author to bring these characters into such a different reality and have them be unmistakably Aziraphale and Crowley. Sure, they're updated for the time and setting, but their souls are still the angel and demon we know and love. This setting is an amazing way to explore the different sides of their personalities. Crowley's asexuality, in particular, was one of the best depictions I've ever read. It brought a new level of understanding to me, and I'm sure many of you will feel a kinship with him. Really pay attention to what's being said here, there's some really deep and insightful passages that are worth analyzing. Like this moment, which may have been a subconscious thought, but again speaks to how deeply the author understands the characters.

This was such an amazing experience as a fan. I've never had a fic feel like this much of an event before. Every chapter drop was so exciting; I never knew what exactly to expect. And now, with the end being over 100k words?? Where did that word count come from! That's insane! I'm sad to leave this iteration, but I'm so excited for what's to come next. So please, if you haven't read this, give it a try. It's such a impressive work, so much time and effort was put into this and you can tell. It's not only a love letter to Good Omens, but one to fandom and fanspaces as well. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this journey

There are some explicit scenes towards the end, but they are all marked and skippable, so I'd say you're perfectly fine reading this in public.

Edit from after actually seeing the finale: no I’m not tearing up it’s just really dusty in this room. I’m being so normal rn 🥹🥹🥹

Read it here, fic by ghostrat

[letters-unsending]

No. 50

////

Hero and Villain, fake relationship

////

“How are you feeling, dear?”

“My ears keep ringing,” Hero sighed, tucking his icepack further into his neck, “and don’t call me dear. There’s not a soul who needs to hear that anymore. It’s just us.”

“Oh, it’s just us, isn’t it?” Villain smiled and leaned back their head, as if in bliss. The movement exposed a dark cleft of red. A cut ran like spilled wine down from their lips and to the gully of their clavicle, and it gleamed with a satin sheen, obscenely fresh. Hero averted his eyes.

“Yes, just us,” Hero agreed, indulging in Villain’s cryptic mood, “unless we’ve got ourselves a visitor you’re not telling me about.”

“I would tell you. I’ll always tell you,” Villain turned their head back down, leveling Hero with a stare, “this is our home after all.”

Hero stared back and wondered if his ears were ringing Villain’s words into nonsense. Beneath his gaze, Villain sprawled, languid and liquid as a cat, in their armchair.

They’d bought the chair–a chaise so high-backed it looked like it’d grown wings–the first week of their contract and displaced the original furniture that had come with the pre-furnished house. Quickly thereafter, they’d taken to redecorating the rest of their temporary rooms with utmost fervor. Decor spilled out, the chair its center point: fur rugs, velvet throws, glass-shaded lamps.

“You can keep the house,” Hero blurted, “it's not ours anymore. Contract’s over.”

“My, how generous,” Villain smiled wider, snake-like, and Hero feared they would bleed from the strain, “would you really leave this all to me?”

“Sure, you seem comfortable here,” Hero shrugged, “you put a lot of time into the place. I don’t want to get in the way.”

“You’ve decorated over the past year as well. Don’t give me all the credit, darling.” Villain waved their hand, nails flashing in the light. Following their fingers, Hero recognized his coat tossed over the back of Villain’s chair. Pens and papers, which he’d sworn to clean up, lay sprawled over the oil-dark coffee table.

“I only left a mess. That’s hardly decor.”

“It could never be a mess.” Villain reached a hand back and rested their palm over Hero’s coat. “I enjoy your additions. They make the place feel lived in.”

“Lived in,” Hero echoed, “guess it helped with our cover. Probably made this whole sham marriage look real enough.”

Villain’s face turned flat. The curl of their smile snapped like elastic, pinching into a terse line, and a bead of blood rounded their chin as they spoke.

“Why are you still wearing the ring?”

Hero let go of the icepack and it tumbled into a heap in his lap. “If it bothers you, I’ll just go on and take it off.”

“It does not.” Villain drawled, sweeping out their hand. “I am far from bothered.”

Their ring and its exquisite gem fluoresced upon their finger, a beacon casting its gleam over the mountain of their knuckles.

“It just, you know, feels wrong to take it off after so long.” Hero muttered, squeezing at his wrist. “I even have tanline from it.”

Villain smiled again, soft, but their skin still broke. Blood slipped along the underside of their jaw and Hero swallowed; he could almost feel it roll down his own throat.

“You shouldn’t have taken the bandage off.”

Hero glanced once more at his ring, before pushing himself off his chair. Pain shot like a bolt through his wrist. Staggering, he snagged a tissue from a box on the coffee table and then shuffled toward Villain, who met his approach with gleam in their eye.

“I don’t like being restricted.” Villain explained as Hero propped his hip into the chair arm and leaned over. “I couldn’t speak or move my head with that infernal contraption on.”

“Must’ve been hard for you to be so quiet.” Hero grabbed Villain’s chin and tilted their head back. “You had a long time for reflection in that hospital, didn’t you? Might be why you’re being so odd.”

“I didn’t need time to reflect,” Villain murmured, suddenly quiet, “I have considered this for a long time.”

“And what have you considered?” Hero set the tissue upon Villain’s skin, feigning focus, avoiding Villain’s gaze crawling shamelessly over his face.

“You.”

“Me?” Hero dabbed their throat, careful of the scab. He moved his steadying hand to the side of Villain’s neck.

“The both of us, [Hero].” Villain grabbed Hero’s wrist, draping their fingers and the gleaming ring over his arm, trapping Hero’s touch to his throat. Their carotid pulse drummed against his fingertips. “You see, my dear, I want to keep living in this house. I want to keep my ring. You must understand what I mean when I say this.”

“[Villain], you couldn’t possibly–”

“Will you stay?”

[bottlesofrouge]

☆ on one condition ☆ masterlist ☆

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・

-ˏˋ i'll do it on one condition," harry drinks from his water glass and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "you can't fall in love with me."

"ah, there's the harry i know," lynn flicks her crinkled straw wrapper at his face, and it lands in the middle of his salad. he frowns and tries to fish it out with his fork, but he decides he's not really that hungry anymore. "something tells me that won't be a problem." ˊˎ-

one.

two.

three.

four.

five.

six.

seven.

✰ part eight soon ✰