#but also literally all other fake relationship trope media

[googoogagahearteyes]

Just a statistic I’m interested in finding out :)

Like for me it would depend on who it was etc etc but overall still a yes bc it would be funny yknow

[purinfelix]

just for the weekend ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ - franco colapinto

summary: your teammate has an absolutely ridiculous plan to bring your team back from the dead - but it might be just crazy enough to work w/c: 5.5k + some smau style tweets warnings: a little angst, some uncomfortable touching/kissing since it's fake dating (not too bad but better safe than sorry), some miscommunication - just two idiots in love i fear

a/n: WOW it's finally here, fake dating is literally a guilty pleasure trope for me so i hope yall enjoy this HAHA - also sorry to Williams fans bc there's a lot of slander in this but trust its all for the plot <333 (also holy shit this is the longest fic I've ever written WOW)

"You're actually insane."

"Oh c'mon, at least think about it for a minute, it's perfect!"

You fold your arms over your chest and try your best to look uninterested in whatever it is your teammate has to say. The two of you had been racing together for a little over half a year now, and you had witnessed him make (at least in your opinion) a grand fool of himself. Flirting with interviewers, winking at cameras, having absolutely no filter during press conferences - but this, this was by far the craziest thing you had heard come out of his mouth.

"A fake relationship?"

"Ah ah ah," he tuts, jutting a finger in your face, "a media relationship, one that will draw the attention away from how crap we're doing and onto the personalities of the team. Think about it, McLaren has whatever Oscar and Lando have got going on and Ferrari basically has two models for drivers. We need something to put us on the map, to make people care about us!"

You pause, and for a minute you seriously consider his outrageous proposition - he isn't completely wrong. For the two of you, making it into the points range was a rare occurrence, and even though the team always made sure to celebrate it like a podium there was something that stung about constantly being at the bottom.

"Do you realise how much trouble we could get into?"

"Ah," he sighs, and it's starting to annoy you how lightly he's talking about this, "ever the pragmatist."

"Well one of us has to be if the other's going to keep saying stupid shit," you huff before turning around and beelining out of his driver's room.

Seriously, a fake relationship? Had he lost his mind? Maybe if he focused more on his racing you wouldn't be constantly outperforming him.

"At least think about it, okay?" You hear him call out from behind you, and consider yourself lucky to be facing the other way so that he doesn't catch your obnoxious eye roll. Surely he had to be kidding because there was no way you were going to devote any amount of time to this ridiculous thought.

God fucking damnit.

It was frustratingly confusing, the kind of power Franco had. You had witnessed it first hand with how smoothly he spoke to anyone and managed to get his way almost instantly - but this was your first time experiencing it first-hand. It was another weekend, another country, another race, but the only thing you could think of was his stupid consideration - which, with each passing moment, seemed increasingly genius.

You had almost a year of experience with the team over your teammate, and with that, your fair share of embarrassment and disappointment. Sure, his idea was a little out there but you were close to being at your wits end and if nothing else, you hoped this would at least be a little fun. Plus you were pretty sure at this point if you didn't act on this thought soon, it would start interfering with your performance.

"Fine," you said a little breathlessly as you burst into his driver's room ahead of a race.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, looking at you with a shocked look, "whatever happened to knocking? I could've been naked in here!"

You roll your eyes before continuing, "You still up to the ..." You pause, thinking of how best to word it, "Fake relationship thing?"

His eyes light up immediately, "Ah, I knew you'd come around eventually."

Letting out a soft huff, just to let him know that you still aren't fully convinced this will work, you sit down on his couch. "I think we should lay down some ground rules first."

"Yes ma'am." He nods, straightening up and forcing a serious expression you can only assume is mocking yours.

"Firstly, no kissing."

"Understood."

"Actually no public affection at all, holding hands, hugging, nothing."

"Oh sure and how exactly are we going to convince people then?"

You pause, thinking for a little, "Okay maybe hand-holding and hugs are fine, but you better not push it - that goes for the pet names as well." He nods with a satisfied smile.

"And no one other than us two can know this is fake, alright? Otherwise, it'll spoil the plan."

"Trust me, I don't need anyone knowing I'm going along with something as ridiculous as this. It'll be our little secret."

"Our little secret," he repeats with a hum, a sly sort of smile spreading across his face as he gets up from his spot. "See you after the race, my love."

You sighed in exasperation, tossing your phone to the side of the couch in your driver's room where it fell with a light thud. You had about a thousand other things to be worrying about - your pretty disappointing result in qualifying for one - but for some reason, the main thing on your mind was your 'relationship' with Franco. Somehow, it had proved even more intense than you had expected, which planted a seed of worry in your mind as you realised how hard this was actually going to be to pull off. Since his not-so-subtle announcement to a hoard of hungry press members at last week's race, the media had managed up a flurry about the two of you.

There were supportive fans who liked you both enough not to see any problem with two teammates dating, as well as others who were more sceptical about how it might impact your performance. However, what really seemed to get to you were those who doubted you more than the relationship.

Your social media had been bombarded with comments and theories about the reason behind your relationship, doubting your place on the grid, and calling you names that - after shedding the status of 'first girl rookie', you thought you had left behind. Regardless, you feel a little stupid for being so unprepared for all this - not just the tweets but the harsh articles, the questions during press interviews and even shouting fans. Maybe if you had done a little more thinking about it first, you would've realised this was a stupid idea that should've been left at just that.

Throwing your head back you let out an exasperated sigh, trying to clear your head so that you could move on and focus on the race that was happening tomorrow. The last thing you wanted was for this plan to start impacting your driving. But Franco always seemed to have the worst timing - or best, depending on who you asked.

"Hello?" A couple quick knocks alert you of his presence before he cracks the door just wide enough to peek in. "There's my beautiful girlfriend." The way the pet names and affection seem to come to him so easily makes you simultaneously impressed and concerned, unsure of whether it's an indication of his great acting or flirting skills.

"What do you want?" You try to make it as obvious as you can that you're not in the mood, and he realises this right away.

"Oh, nothing, I just wanted to ask if you were free after this."

"You know I'm not really a huge fan of the big team dinners, especially not when we have a race tomorrow."

"Oh it's not like that, I was just going to go check out a restaurant near our hotel and wondered if you wanted to join me."

When you finally speak it's just above a whisper, "Is this a part of the fake dating thing?"

He laughs softly, his ability to find everything entertaining has always amazed you. "If you want to, it can be. If that gives you a reason to come hang out with me, though if you don't it's totally fine."

"No, I'll come, not like I've got anything better to do." You hate how every word you've said so far has sounded so pathetic.

"Great, I'll meet you by the paddock entry in ten?"

"See you then."

The street lights were dim, just bright enough to illuminate the street the two of you were walking down. The night was cool and still, and there were barely any people out other than you. You weren't sure why, but you had ended up telling Franco a lot more than you had expected. Maybe it was the extremely fancy restaurant you had initially gone to or the local one the two of you agreed to ditch it for instead, or maybe it was just the freeing feeling of being in another country.

The two of you had talked before, of course - as teammates it was difficult to avoid. But beyond the casual small talk, discussions about strategies or banter during challenges your relationship never extended beyond casual co-existence. It was one of the reasons you were glad your higher-ups had never tried to force the two of you into a professional friendship. There was something about Franco, his ability to strike up a conversation and maintain it even when the topic clearly strayed far beyond his interests, that made him so likeable, so easy to get along with. And the support he got from fans and the media reflected this well. You just never felt like there was any room for you in that equation.

But here, away from the cameras and shedding the roles of drivers, the two of you became normal people. You spoke, you laughed, you vented to him everything that worried you about your 'relationship' and he listened throughout all of it - all the while the two of you shared the biggest, best, pizza you had ever had.

"I have to say, I don't know if our engineers will appreciate the extra weight I've just put on," he jokes, breaking the comfortable silence that had been lingering around you two as you walked.

"Me neither, they might have to roll me into the car at this rate."

"You know, I think this is the first time the two of us have hung out, just us two."

You think for a little before answering, "You're right."

"Do you think there's a reason for that?"

"You mean besides us both being extremely busy people and already seeing each other pretty often? Not really, no."

"Good point, though with our little plan, we're definitely going to be seeing each other a lot more."

There's a beat of silence. "This is nice though, right?" He asks, and his voice is so tentative you almost find it endearing.

"It is nice, this was fun." You try not to think too much about the fact the two of you could be mistaken by any passer-by as a couple of lovebirds on a first date - or that fact that even to those who knew you, you were.

"I appreciate you telling me all that stuff, you know, about what people are saying about you."

"Oh, if anything I should be thanking you for listening to me vent about it."

"It is serious though, I'm so stupid for not even thinking about what you'd have to deal with."

"Well I don't think either of us gave it enough thought but," you pause and look up at him, "we're too far in to back out now."

He shoots you a comforting smile, one that shows how reassured he feels that you seem to finally be coming around to his idea. That is, at least, before his face morphs into one of discomfort.

"God, I'm so full."

"We're almost back at the hotel now, let's just sleep and then we can wake up early tomorrow morning to-"

"Wait, is that ice cream?" Franco interrupts you to point out a street vendor who's about to pack up for the night, and before you know it he's running up to the man eagerly. You can only follow suit with a sigh, knowing full well you wouldn't mind some dessert either.

"You two are lucky, you'll be my last customers for the night," the moustachioed owner of the cart says with a warm smile.

"Thanks," you reply kindly, before turning to Franco, "what flavour do you think you'll get."

"Hm, not sure, maybe chocolate?"

"Wow, boring."

He scoffs, "Oh yeah? And what exotic flavour are you going to get then?"

"Mint choc," you smile, but your face drops once you see your teammate's disgusted expression.

"You've got to be kidding me, that's like the worst choice."

You feign offence, "How dare you insult the best ice cream flavour of all time?"

"Ah, you two are quite the couple," the man laughs and you watch as Franco's eyes widen in embarrassment.

"Oh we're not-"

"Thank you," it's your turn to interrupt him, turning to the man with a smile. "One chocolate and one mint choc chip please."

You go to reach for your wallet to pay but you feel a hand on yours, stopping you.

"No, it's okay, I got this."

"Wh- Franco c'mon you know full well both of us could afford about a thousand of these ice cream cones don't be ridiculous."

"I know," he smiles and even though he's trying to be serious you know he's also trying not to laugh, "but I just figured you know, I'm the one who dragged you out here and like, got you into this whole fake dating mess."

You furrow your brows, a little confused at what exactly he's getting at.

"I guess I just want to say thank you, you know?"

"Alright, alright," you laugh softly, watching as he pays and takes both of the cones, handing you yours. Once you grab yours, you instinctively loop your arm around his, pulling him close and resting your head against his shoulder. The ice cream man laughs endearingly at the two of you.

"You're the best boyfriend ever!" you say in as high and cute a voice you can manage, cringing a little but determined to keep up the bit - you don't even bother to think about how fast you can feel Franco's heart race when you do.

Last night was really nice. You're sitting next to your race engineer, nodding along as she points to various multi-coloured dots and lines on the screen. You hear yourself agreeing with a couple quick "mhms", "of course" and "yep"s even though you can barely hear what she's saying. You're mere minutes away from getting in your car for a race, getting briefed on your strategy, and the only thing you can think of is the 'date' you had with Franco last night - if you can even call it that.

You had thought that getting everything off your chest, the hate comments, the doubt you had, would help you feel better and relieve any worries you had. And it did, at least until you got back to your hotel room alone and caught yourself smiling at the thought of seeing your teammate again the next day. How, even as you washed up and got ready for bed, you found yourself thinking - pizza, ice cream, walking at night together, isn't that something a real couple would do?

"Are you listening to me?" your race engineer's voice cuts through the haze of your thoughts, causing you to straighten up immediately.

"Yes! Sorry," you mumble, but just at that moment, you see him walk into the garage, greeting a couple of the mechanics warmly. Before you realise it, he's beelining straight for you, his arm coming around your waist as he leans in close to your ear.

"There's a ton of cameras, I just wanted to be believable," he whispers, and when he pulls back you can see the smile on his face. You nod curtly, fully aware of how red your face feels over such a small interaction as he waltzes away.

"Okay, so as I was saying," your race engineer pipes up again, though you couldn't be paying her less of your attention - watching as your 'boyfriend' walks off, his brown hair illuminating in the afternoon light. For a fake relationship, the quickening pace of your heart felt far too real.

"Well you two have been teammates since the beginning of this year, can you tell us a little about when you realised you might be more?"

Your struggle was never-ending - or at least, that's what it felt like, finding yourself at the centre of an impromptu interview with Franco. Around you, the other drivers were getting questions about their place in their teams, how they felt about their current strategy and about their racing futures. And there the two of you were, getting thrown question after question about your 'relationship'.

"Well," you begin, before being saved by your teammate. You had to give it to him - he was great at making stuff up on the spot.

"Well, I think it was somewhere around a month after I first joined the team, and met her. It was just something about her, she's sort of electric in this almost untouchable way, you know?"

You try not to look too awkward standing next to him as he talks, feigning your best-interested smile - though a part of you is extremely intrigued by this fake story he's creating.

"At first I thought I just wanted to be like her, her passion and talent were just so respectable, but the more time I spent with her the more I realised it was something completely different."

He turns to look at you, his arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you close to him. Your expression falters a little as you're caught off guard by the sudden contact and as you turn away from the journalists and towards him, your eyes widen in shock at the sight of his pursed lips nearing yours. Before you realise it, his lips are against yours and you're pulling away as quickly as possible, face bright red. You're just barely aware of the thousands of flashing camera lights as you turn to quickly excuse yourself.

"Thank you all for coming, it was nice talking to you but, uhm, I have to go!" You hurriedly blurt out before slipping out of Franco's grip and darting off to your driver's room.

You hear his footsteps following closely behind you, as well as the sound of him calling out your name. When you near the door of your room, you turn around and grab his wrist to yank him in before you shut the door.

"What the hell was that?" is all you can muster out, "I thought we agreed no kissing?"

"Look, I can explain!"

You cross your arms with a huff, looking at him expectedly.

"I was just going to peck you quickly on the cheek, you know because we were getting all romantic and I wanted it to be believable! B-but then you turned, and then we," he's struggling not to ramble and his quickly moving hands do little to help. That's when you also realise his face is bright red as well, and he doesn't seem any less flustered by it than you do. "I'm really, really sorry I really shouldn't have done that."

You'd be lying if you said his explanation didn't make you feel any better. You're not actually upset about the kiss itself though, in fact, it's the opposite - actually, the grudge you're holding is doing little to help the internal struggle going on in your head. The kiss didn't make you angry, but the realisation that you wanted it to be real, did.

You sigh, rubbing your temples as you slump down in the nearest chair. Franco does the same on the adjacent couch, though his gaze stays carefully on you, almost afraid of what you might say next.

"It's fine, I think we just need to coordinate our PDA a little better then."

"Yes, of course," he nods quickly.

There's a beat of silence. "You're really good at acting though."

"What?"

"That whole story you made up about how you fell in love with me, it was really believable." You laugh lightheartedly trying to lighten the situation and alleviate the awkwardness that's settled between you two.

"Well it's pretty easy, I didn't need to make up much of it," his eyes catch yours and his gaze is soft when he smiles at you.

"What?" you're confused.

"Never mind," he scoffs lightly, his gaze dropping to the floor as he rubs the back of his neck. He looks almost disappointed at something, though you can't realise what. "Well, I'll leave you alone now. I really am sorry about what happened before." You watch as he pushes himself up from the couch, his head hanging guiltily - looking almost like a scolded puppy.

"It's fine Franco, really, please don't feel too bad about it." He nods thankfully before slipping out the door, leaving you alone.

Being a driver, hotel rooms had come to be a companion you knew far too familiarly. Their high ceilings, plush sterile white bedsheets, the empty bathroom - almost everything about them felt a sign of loneliness, of temporality, a house that never felt like home. Even though you knew how ridiculous it would be to complain about something that others would see as a privilege, it was hard to deny the isolation you felt whenever in a new country, away from most of your family or friends.

Maybe that's why you had been so eager to latch onto Franco's idea - it made sense, he had become the person you spent the most time with so why not give yourself some ridiculous reason to be around him even more? However somewhere along the way you stopped needing the reason of fake dating, somewhere in between hushed conversations, planned posts and candid photos - and instead found yourself genuinely enjoying his company. It was a little strange and sometimes acted as a sour reminder of how lonely you'd become but more than anything it felt like a blessing in disguise.

You were reminded of this fact as you lay, wrapped in a plush white hotel robe, across your messy bedsheets - laughing to yourself at the tweets your boyfriend had sent you. They were all about you, or the two of you, of course. Comments on the tiniest things, the way the two of you looked at each other, the way Franco held your hand, the way you worried about him.

"I feel a little bad, they're all so gullible," you typed quickly.

"Oh, so now you feel bad?" His response was almost instant.

"Don't you?"

"It's fun, isn't it? All this playing pretend."

Right, pretend. You rolled onto your back with a deep sigh, staring up at the tall hotel ceiling. All of this was just so confusing - as if figuring out how you felt about someone wasn't difficult enough, the two of you had complicated it by tricking the entire world into thinking you were in love. Whether you truly liked him or not, the idea was doomed for failure - and the more you thought about it, the more it seemed like the former.

"You're right," you typed back, watching intently as the three tiny dots appeared, disappeared then reappeared. What could he be saying that would need so much thinking?

"Can we talk tomorrow, after the race?"

You felt your stomach drop, had he finally caught on to how obvious you were being about how you truly felt, and decided that actually it might be better to just drop this whole act and go on as just teammates? With trembling hands, you typed back.

"Sure, what about?"

"I'll tell you then, for now, we should sleep."

"Goodnight Franco."

"Goodnight mi amor." You laughed softly to yourself at the nickname he had given you, though a small part of you took it as salt to the wound - almost as if he was dangling the possibility of something that could never happen right in front of your desperate little face.

However, not like you had a choice - all you could do now was get ready for bed and brace yourself for whatever tomorrow brought.

You couldn't believe it. The sounds of celebration erupted around you, but you sat completely still in your car, silent, attempting to process what had just happened. Your first win, and, your first double podium, with Franco. Your head was spinning as the never-ending stream of thoughts raced through your mind. Suddenly, you heard a voice coming from above your car's halo, muffled by your helmet. You flick the visor up, lifting your head as highly as you could - locking eyes with your teammate.

"We did it! Oh my god!" The excitement on his face is enough to send a slight surge of energy through you as he offers you his hand, helping you out of the car. When you do though, you stumble a little - the nerves are almost too much for you.

"Woah, you alright?" Even through the fog clouding your mind you can make out the concern in Franco's voice and feel his arms steadying you.

"Yeah, just-" you mumble, gesturing to your helmet and making weak attempts to undo the clasps underneath it. It's almost suffocating you, and the chaos going on around you isn't helping the pounding headache.

"Oh, let me," he reacts immediately, dropping his own helmet and bringing his hands below your chin to swiftly undo the clasps and pull the helmet off of you. You take a deep breath of air as you pull off your fireproof mask, though it sounds more like a desperate gasp.

Around you, the crowds roar with excitement, both your team and others as they make attempts to gesture at the two of you to join them. Your head spins though, and you wobble backwards into Franco.

"It's too loud," is all you can stutter out, though he understands you almost immediately, a strong hand gripping your wrist and pulling you away from the noise and somewhere quieter. You're not entirely sure where he's taking you but at that moment you feel as though you'd follow him just about anywhere.

Luckily though, when your eyes refocus you're in his driver's room, and even though outside you can hear the cheers continuing, you're offered some solace here, the walls muffling the sound. You sigh, sinking into his couch as you throw your head back, panting still.

You feel like it's all just too much - not just the physicality of the race, but the feeling of winning it, winning it with Franco, just Franco himself. When you finally manage to catch your breath you lift your head to see him standing over you, watching intently.

"Better?"

"Much better, thank you." You smile earnestly, "Though I don't think we'll be able to hide in here much longer, there is a cooldown room for this exact reason."

"Oh, I mentioned it to someone, not sure who but he looked important, and he said it would be okay."

You laugh softly, amazed at how he can seem so calm even at a moment like this.

"We did it," you say, still not being able to believe it.

"We did," he smiles, sitting on the couch next to you, "a couples podium."

You feel your heart skip a beat at the sudden reminder of your conversation last night, him mentioning he had something to tell you. Was this it? The two of you had achieved what you had been wanting this entire time, and there was no better time to let this ridiculous bit go than now.

You stare at the wall of his room, the gigantic flag of his home country, and let out a shaky breath, mustering up the courage to break the silence. "So..."

He turns to you, one eyebrow raised in interest.

"What was it you wanted to talk to me about?" You're trying your best to keep your voice lighthearted, "it sounded serious."

"Oh, well about that," he seems to have forgotten it temporarily as well, but the fact that he turns to look at the flag as well, almost unable to maintain eye contact with you, isn't a good sign.

Maybe it's the adrenaline from the race, maybe it's the fact that both of you are going to be needed out on the podium in about ten minutes - or maybe it's the fact that you're so desperate to get out these feelings and make him understand how you feel, but you start talking before you even realise it.

"Look, Franco, I," you start, not entirely sure of where you're going to end up, "I know you asked me to do this whole fake dating thing with you and I completely understand if you want to end it now, I mean why wouldn't we? It's perfect!"

He looks at you confused, lips parted as if about to interrupt you but you continue anyway, stupidly.

"But, look, here's the thing," you turn to him now, and you're sure your face is bright red, "I don't want this to end!"

You let out a deep sigh, and clutch your hands together to stop them from shaking, though it doesn't help that Franco looks even more confused now.

"What?" he says, and your heart drops.

"I," you pause, struggling to find the right words, and struggling to get them out, "I think I like you, like, for real." Okay, not exactly the best choice of words but it'll do.

"Like, not for the whole fake relationship thing?" his tone is still concerned and he leans in a little for clarification.

"Yes! Okay, I know it's not exactly what we thought would happen and it'll probably jeopardise our relationship as teammates but there, I like you okay."

"When did you realise?"

"A couple days ago, I'm sorry."

There's a beat of silence, and you're left with the agonising feeling of your heart racing in your chest, waiting eagerly for his response - for him to laugh in your face, for him to get mad, for him to reject you.

But instead, you watch as Franco's confused expression melts into one of pure relief as he sinks back into the couch with a sigh. "Oh, thank God."

It's your turn to be confused. "I'm sorry, what?"

"You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that," he says, eyes fixed on the ceiling with the widest smile you've ever seen.

"Wait you mean you-"

"I win!"

You're absolutely speechless, not a single coherent thought on what is going on or how to respond. All you can get out is a confused sort of grunt.

"I win, I've liked you for longer!" he laughs, sitting up and grabbing your hands in his.

You feel as though your jaw is going to dislocate at how fast it drops, "I'm sorry?"

"Oh c'mon, we've been teammates for a year I know you're not that oblivious."

"Well, apparently I am because I'm really confused."

"I've liked you since the moment I met you, you idiot."

"Wh-" You're about to be offended at the name-calling until what he says finally hits you. He likes you. He has liked you. For ages. You idiot.

"Even when you proposed this to me?"

"Yep."

"Even when we went to get ice cream?"

"Yep."

"Even when you kissed me?"

"Y- well wait no that was completely unintentional," he holds his hands out in defence. You slump back, trying your best to process everything today has entailed, it's almost too much. That is until you feel Franco move a little closer to you, his arm stretching around your shoulders and gently moving your head to lay on his. At that moment, it all becomes clear, and you're suddenly unsure about why you ever felt confused about any of this.

"What now?" You say, barely above a whisper.

"We go and get our trophies," even though you're not looking you can hear the smile in his voice. "Though, before then."

You lift your head up off his shoulder to turn to him with raised brows. "Hm?"

"Now that we aren't fake dating, do the rules still apply?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'd really like to kiss you right now," he whispers, and there's a hint of nerves as you watch his eyes dart in between yours and your lips.

"Really can't wait can you," you tease, though you still move to close the space in between you to. But just before your lips can touch his there's a knock at the door, causing you both to slump back with a sigh.

"Hey, are you two in there?" it's your race mechanic, "you're needed, you know, on the podium."

You roll your eyes to show your obvious disappointment at being interrupted, though Franco just watches you with an endeared smile.

"What are you thinking about?" you ask, not being able to hide your own smile.

"I'm just thinking about how beautiful you're going to look up on that podium, and how I won't have to pretend not to be in love with you anymore."

Taglist : @spreadyourwings-my-smiling-angel @cinderellawithashoe @vanicogh @taasgirl @claudiajacobs

@dripostsstuff @boiolay @earth-to-lottie @dejavuontrack @dudududu-fangirl

@kravitzwhore @gavisuntiedboot @reiofsuns2001 @musicmie @danielle12002x-blog

@alelo23 @corrodeddeadlydoll @aliwritex @nina-or-anna-or-nora

@5sospenguinqueen @araunahj @sbrn0905 @halleest @lottieliveslife

@lovestruck-sky @im-an-op81-fan @blubra @vienoiserieetc

(don't ask me why it's formatted so weird, tumblr hates me)

[skywalkr-nberrie]

Fake Anidala fans saying that Padmé needed Anakin’s “whiny ass” as way to undermine her character and sort of bash her for loving and needing Anakin will never be true Padmé understanders. Padmé needing Anakin ≠ her needing a man and isn’t independent. Padmé literally never liked or wanted anyone before Anakin. She didn’t NEED a man to complete her. She was her one person and IS her own person even with Anakin. She crafted a successful career for herself at a very young age, became queen and led a whole planet at age 14. Then become a well known public figure of justice, and served as one of the most high ranking Republic senators in the galaxy. Padmé falling in love doesn’t take away from any of her individuality and independence. There’s also absolutely nothing wrong with her needing Anakin. It’s because she loves him so much. They both needed each other like that equally. Yet it’s only ever talked about as if it was “one-sided” and Padmé is some helpless lovesick damsel in distress who needed a man to fulfil her, while her hero didn’t give two craps about her. NO! That’s NOT their story. 

Padmé loved Anakin so much, and needed him just as much as he needed and loved her (I mean, take a look at where he ended up just because he thought she’d die.) people would call this “co-dependency” in reality, but I’m going to get a little controversial here and say that’s the point of their love story and even be the first to say that it’s not framed as a bad thing either. Because under the lens of fantasy and not reality, this narrative is acceptable. Anakin and Padmé are based off classical love tragedies, and essentially their so called “co-dependency” as people say (not me) isn’t supposed to be viewed as “unhealthy.” It’s supposed to be viewed as a testament to how much they love and need each other. It’s part of the “Star Crossed Lovers” narrative, in literally every single piece of media that includes this trope. What they have wouldn’t even be considered “co-dependency” either within the context of their story, it’s just naturally how they love one another. However, I’m only using the word because that’s what people have referred to them as.

While we’re on the topic of “unhealthy and toxicity.” That’s another misconception of Anidala’s relationship I’ve seen the shippers themselves say against their relationship. First off, Anidala isn’t abusive, and it’s getting tiring to keep hearing that. “Yeah but he choked her.” Yes. Because that’s what happens when you fall to the darkside. You get twisted and corrupted. All your good traits fall away and it strips you from your true self. It makes you behave in a way that’s completely unlike you. Compare the affect of the darkside to a the addiction of a drug. This is how the darkside works canonically. Anakin was never awful nor abusive towards Padmé before this point of no return. They were madly in love. That’s why his actions are considered (in universe) to be so unlike himself because Anakin would NEVER hurt Padmé. Everyone can connect Vader’s redemption to Luke, and say he’s the person who always believed in his father, but Padmé was the one who started that. Padmé was the first to have unwavering faith in Anakin, even after what happened. Because that’s how strong their love was. Anidala was always meant to be seen as “true love” that it transcended and reached their son.

It’s okay if they make you uncomfortable and their kind of love isn’t your cup of tea, but don’t paint them under a narrative that has never existed.

[levandright]

Hiii i never do this kind of thing but event seemed fun and silly so why not for enha!

In terms of appearance and persona I'm blonde and quite short and I really like soft girly feminine things so I enjoy a lot of pastels and doing dewy cute makeup, I also fidget quite a lot.

For zodiac I'm a leo!

As for hobbies I don't nail myself to a few specific things and I have ADHD so I pick up new interests a lot. But some of the things I always go back to or never really quit are makeup, fashion/clothes, sometimes art, and video games (I esp like cozy and simulation games like Stardew Valley but I play all genres), and I'm currently learning a language.

As for personality I'm usually kind of shy and awkward at first and I'm really not great at small talk; once I know you, or I understand what's ok to joke abt and behave like within our friendship, or you're someone who can make conversations comfortable and interesting I can be the loudest person there and sometimes can't STOP talking and laughing. I'm also kind of physically hyperactive and always fidget or move bc I always have the urge to (literally at night when everyone is asleep I leave my room and put in earbuds and just pace and dance for hours). I sometimes have a hard time expressing my love for ppl through words which I've been working on and starting to do more :(, but instead I really love paying for things or giving gifts to express it instead and get a rush of dopamine when someone likes a gift I gave them.

I don't have any specific favorite tropes but I do like fake dating or friends to lovers or something else, overall I just really like when men are sweet and act like they actually like the person they want and love seeing good husbands and bfs in media and Irl :3

And my favorite seasons are honestly fall and winter but spring have a special place in my heart too.

That was a LOT I'm sorry I spoke so much and dk when to stop once I start something sometimes but hopefully it's helpful 😭😭

FINDING YOUR MATCH...

MATCH FOUND! your match is... SIM JAEYUN

JAKE jokingly compete with you over silly things like who’s better at cozy games or who’s more stylish. if you ever get frustrated at a game, he’d step in, laughing: “okay, okay, let the pro handle this.” and then immediately fail on purpose just to make you laugh.

JAKE 100% watch cute romance dramas or movies with you, fangirling over sweet relationships and pointing out, “that’s totally us.”

JAKE often tease you about your favorite tropes like friends-to-lovers or fake dating, saying, “i think we skipped the ‘friends’ part and went straight to me being your soulmate.”

JAKE adores how much thought you put into giving gifts. he’d treat your gifts like treasure, keeping them close to him or using them often just so you know how much they mean to him. on the flip side, he’d also spoil you with little surprises—a playlist of songs that remind him of you, your favorite snacks, or a cute necklace he noticed you admiring. he’d love to see your face light up every time he gets it right.

JAKE keeps mental notes of the small details about you, surprising you with things like your favorite winter treat or a new game you mentioned wanting to try.

JAKE is your partner in crime for trying new things. whether it’s learning something new together or diving headfirst into one of your ideas, he’d make the experience fun and memorable.

your custom playlist ☁

☁ lev notes : currently dreading my exams so this might be my only posts for the upcoming 5 days gang

☁ curious about other matches?

[oodlyenough]

4-2 turnabout corner

alright finished this case and i guess i'm doing case review posts now. i'm playing this for the first time so no spoilers for future stuff please:

this was pretty fun! and for the most part the problem-solving remained coherent, so that was nice. i feel like i never got any answers about the hit and run though...? i kept expecting it to be more relevant in the end and it just never was. i guess we had no time for that because we had to talk about trucy's panties for the three billionth time

but it was the first case with trucy and first real chance to see apollo do anything, and they're pretty fun. i like unsettling baby genius trucy. even if she totally stole my glory in court because i personally had also figured this out, catch up apollo, stop thinking like a normal person

apollo as the long-suffering straightman is more entertaining than i expected. the dynamic he has with the wrights is pretty funny, just like constantly ganged up on and bamboozled by their double act. poor apollo bawling after trucy fake kidnaps herself lmfao oh buddy

beanix cracks me up. it's so easy to wind apollo up and everyone does it with gusto. i think like 80% of what he says to apollo at any given time is a lie. it's a very funny dynamic to me lmao, "if anything i see you more as a BOTHER figure". i keep thinking of a text post i saw on here, i can't even remember if it was talking about AA specifically or just fandom in general, but talking about how fandom tends to ignore the existence of relationships besides "literal family" or "lovers", and ended with "normalize coworkers". anyway i think about "normalize coworkers" like every time apollo and phoenix interact.

the game is definitely inviting me to question his integrity at all times but the thing is i like phoenix more than anyone else in this game and it's not close, so...

i said it in other posts but adult ema rules!!! i love cranky sarcastic women. related to the point above, i really appreciate having her there as the other tie to the trilogy, and as someone who knew phoenix from before and is loyal to him. same girl same.

i also like klavier, he's fun. i'm curious to know what his deal is since it's not at all apparent why he's doing any of this to me, he doesn't seem to hold any grudge on kristoph's behalf. (what, he just likes law? a normal motivation? in my AA??? is that allowed)

on more negative notes:

i could really have done without an entire running gag for the entire case being about panties and panty snatching and especially a 15 year old telling me about her panties like every line of dialogue. i get that the "joke" is that it's meant to be weird and uncomfortable and apollo is uncomfortable. but like. christ lmao free me

the alcoholic phoenix jokes are not it for me, man! feels sleazy and uncomfortable and i know the game is never even going to like. treat it seriously. they can't even say the word wine. i can excuse weird cryptid phoenix who speaks in riddles and is generally kind of an asshole but i draw the line at "alcoholic single father". fuck off lmao.

in general, a lot of the stuff they're doing with phoenix here so far is, like, tolerable to me only inasmuch as i've been spoiled for it and i also can approach it as a sort of midpoint; i know most people don't like aa5+6, and my opinion may change a bit after i play them, but right now the idea of the series ending here, with washed out (alcoholic????) loser phoenix is so bleak and depressing, and falls into a lot of sequel media tropes i find tired. you often see franchises end their original run on a high note only to follow it up years later with a sequel that's like "but it was all for nought, everyone went their separate ways and Our Hero kind of sucks now". if i'd played this unspoiled in whatever year it was it came out i'd've been so pissed lmao

[sirenthatmakesyouwantcake]

these are my thoughts on interview with the vampire S2E2

This first part will mostly be about Louis and Armand,

Louis and Armand are still as cute as always. They are such an old married couple and Daniel's so sassy that it just makes them so good to watch. Armond sitting on Louis's lap is so adorable, they're babies. Noooo, it was just an angle, he's not sitting on his lap. The way Armand is describing Louis when they first met, I can't with these two (14:00). And their faces as their describing that night. Most of the time, I'm only sort of looking at the screen but for that whole scene, I have been pausing for once and re-watching it because I cant miss any of it. I just love them so much and they are so perfect together, they love each other so much, it's literally love at first sight. Normally, i don't really like that trope, but seeing them once they've been together so long, i think i quite like it in this circumstance.(48:30), they just keep getting better, the way he called Louse mon amour is so cute and then telling him to just call him armand, i'm going to have stayed up all night because im keep thinking of them and re watching the scenes. it's been an hour and a half of watching and I'm still only 48 minutes in. I just found out the last 10 minutes of the episode is just the BTS, I'm kind of sad that I have to wait for the next episode but I'm not sure if this would be readable if I kept going.

That's the end of just talking about them, the rest is the actual episode in order,

For some reason, I had just assumed that vampires couldnt smoke, I'm not sure why and it's not like there would be much of a logical explanation. I think it's a little confusing with so many different sets of rules but it's like religion, there are a lot of ways to interpret everything and the tales are all spoken.

I know that something happened to Claudia, I'm not sure what but from what I've heard, Armand and the missing pages may have had something to do with it, I think it would have been quite funny to see her interact with Daniel, I think that she would have ended up killing Daniel before the first interview was even finished.

It's sweet how he kept some many photos of all of those guys who he probably had some sort of relationship with and then armand basically admit to killing them, it's the funniest thing yet.

Honestly, if a group of vampires ran a theater company that did horror shows, no one would think twice about it or if a vampire went on social medias and told everyone they were a vampire, everyone would just assume they were faking. The way they are telling all of this is a lot better than the movie, I felt like they went a little fast and definitely missed a few things that would have made the whole movie make a good bit more sense, i've watched the movie twice now and still don't understand all of what's happening because of how much they had to cut out. Though I think it would have been possible to only do one season, I think it really benefits from having a lot more time instead of being rushed like most movies that were originally books. (17:30)

The fake fake vampire guy, Santiago I believe, and Armond definitely had something going on.(19:17) I really like the community that the vampires had, they don't care what people think the same way so many of us do. Armand also looks like he knows that he's perfect and above everyone, modern him still does but it's a bit less. He also looks like a whore, while @certainunkownlove2 and I were talking about this episode, we decided that the only way he had gotten rich was from being a whore. To quote her, “bro’s a hoe”

I haven't ever done much research into what old theater used to be like but the shadows and what not that they used were cool. If it's not something that they actually did, then it added an extra layer to the vampires in france and if it was something that was actually used, its cool that they did research in to something small like that (again, i haven't read the book so i'm not sure if that would have been the screen writers or Anne Rice)

When i watched the movies, i tried to figure out why they killed the girl on screen but with the show i finally understand and will no longer be kept up thinking about it, instead i'm going to spend my nights thinking about Louis and Armand. Something that i just noticed is that some of the audience has white face paint on, it think its funny that the non vampire audience members play so much in to the vampire thing, though i've never been, the atmosphere is what i'd imagine a Rocky Horror Picture Show show would be like.(24:15)

LOUSE’S FACE (27:55), I'm sure someone has made a meme of it already. Andl Claudia having the exact opposite reaction, it really shows their differences and view on some things, as well as their morals, Armand seems to have some of those same morals as Claudia. 

(29:56) Armand should change his business cards to say “maison de putain des vampires” (i'm not sure about the grammar because i had to use google translate but from the tiny bits of french i know, they are all real words) which translate to “the vampire whore house”

(33:25) same daniel. I love his commentary. And just everything about him in this scene. Another quote form @certainunkownlove2, “he’s sassy as fuck”.

(36:01) Cluadia has really grown up, mentally of course, she isn't as kill everyone as she was during most of the first season, she has definitely changed as a character.

(40:08) It's almost odd to see that Louis and Lestat loved each other at one point, and that at least a little, Lestat still means something to louis through the first two episodes of this season, even though it's no longer love exactly.

(41:55) he finally pushed too far. I do like the character backstory, showing more of who Daniel is

OTHER

Old French music is one of my favorite things to listen to when I'm not doing anything, it often times sounds so happy but not in an upbeat way which is nice at times, i have no idea what their singing about though

As i was editing this, I realized that I had spelled Armand as almond almost every time and i managed to spell Louis with every combination of letters and somehow not have used either of their names, except for once, in S2E1, I'm not sure how seeing how Louis is the main character. Also Daniel, although that was mostly in the first half

the next few may be a little late because of finals

Thank you for reading.

links to the rest of these posts:

S2E1 S2E3 S2E4 S2E5 S2E6

[gaywriting]

Out of the Blue book review

Out of the Blue by Jason June (2022)

⭐️⭐️⭐️✖️✖️

"I love you," I whisper. "I wish I could hear you say that forever. Keep it in a shell to press to my ear and listen to for the rest of my life." (p. 372)

I finished this May 21, 2024

The story follows awkward, rom-com fanatic, high school swimmer, lifeguard Sean and how his heartbreak after being broken up with by his boyfriend leads to him meeting a literal fish out of water, the merperson, sassy, sarcastic, nonbinary Crest (human name Ross). Ross is on The Journey, a mission every mer must go through. They have to be on the surface for a month and help a human, or they will turn into a human permanently. Ross is very unhappy with this, but decides to help Sean in getting his boyfriend back. This plan leads to a fake relationship, that soon starts feeling more real than anything the two have ever felt before.

This book tells a story of learning to appreciate your own self worth before anyone elses and the meaning of connection and community. Also a story with a nonbinary character, that explains it in their own way, and having the other characters just accept it so easily was lovely. It's very much a teenage romance book. The language was simple and the whole merfolk thing was done quite silly, in my opinion. As I've stated before, merpeople are one of my favorite mythology "monsters" and I've read my fair share, but usually it's a little more dark than this. June decided to go the disney route, but that's not necessarily bad. It fits the mood of this book quite well actually. The language felt very Wattpad-y and i nearly dnf-ed it because i'm almost 30, so it was a bit cringy for me. I don't feel like books written like this shouldn't be, because teens need to find representation as well as anybody, but just be aware that these kinds of books will often, if not always, age really badly. There were already outdated references and the book isn't even that old yet. Concidering how casual the characters were about them having sex, i would prefered them to be older than 16. I know 16 y/o do do it, but in media, maybe age them up just a bit more than that, so it doesn't feel Suuuper weird reading. I also found the ending a bit jarring. While i did like that it was different from what usually happens in merfolk romances, i dont know if this was the way to go about standing out. It made me feel like all the romance scenes and character development did not matter much in the end. Can't say much more without spoiling too much

I did enjoy the dates that Sean and Ross were on, it was romantic and welldone. The relationship and dynamic between them was cute. Ross was such an ass and i like characters like that, but i see that some people found it really annoying. Personally i found Sean to be the more exhaustive one of the two, since he really didn't know what he wanted, like ever, and kept going on about his ex that was just clearly horrible

If you love a good fake dating trope and wanna see a really good nonbinary character, maybe even some merfolk romance then I recomment checking this book out 💙🐠

[fandoms-ruin-life]

Trope Rating Game Rules: how much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

-10 -> very dissuaded

0 - don’t care either way

+10 -> very enticed

nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged.

Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

***

Thanks for the tag @glitter50000 ! I love these kinds of things lol, they're always so fun (even if it always takes me a million years to respond)

Age gap: 1 I'm usually indifferent about age, idc either way if they're the exact same age or have a super big gap lol. But I didn't put 0 because I have seen some situations where it is done in a way that's super fun and can make the dynamics more interesting. Codependency: 10 Gimme allll the codependent unhealthy pairings! I will say that I tend to prefer super codependent friendships who prioritise each other over their significant others, and the partners just have to deal with the permanent +1. But honestly I'm always there for any codependent dynamics in fiction lol.

Obsession/possessives or Jealousy: 5 Depends on how its done. If its done well and the story is juicy? Hell yeah, that's gotta be one of my fav tropes. But if it's done in a way that doesn't quite tickle my brain right, it can be a squick and I wont be continuing the fic

Opposites (grumpy/sunshine, etc): 10 Most of my OTPS fall into this trope lol

Enemies to lovers, enemies with benefits: -10 I need the love to be there. I can't deal with any sort of hate sex or even too much conflict. It isn't a "nope" though because I have read maybe one or two enemies to lovers fics that were pretty good- they need to meet very specific standards for me to click on the fic and continue it, so most of the time I just don't bother.

Friends with benefits: -8 Ehhh... I can enjoy these on a rare occasion, but again, definitely not something I seek out.

Sex with feelings: 0 If its in a fic, then great love to see them connect. But I'm not gonna seek out a oneshot that's just this trope. Sex just doesn't do anything for me lol

Fake/pretend dating relationships: 3 These can be good, but only if there are no misunderstandings (my least favourite trope). Unfortunately they tend to go hand in hand, so I don't click these fics often, but when they're good, they're good.

Friends to lovers: 8 Super cute! I love when they already have a foundation to their relationship

Found family: 10 Found family is my kink

Hurt/comfort: 9 As long as the comfort is super good and lasts just as long (if not longer) than the hurt, I'm all for it. Makes for some of the best fics, the roller coaster of emotion is always *chef's kiss*. But I'm def not a fan of when the comfort is literally there for all of two seconds before the fic ends. If fics tagged with this trope reliably had long comfort scenes then this would easily be a 10, but it's -1 point due to those blue balling situations lol.

Love Triangle: Nope Hell no. I hate that it's so prominent in media, I'm not about to seek it out in fic too.

Poly, open relationships: 0 Don't care either way. As long as its an interesting storyline and characters that I care about, I'll read it

Mistaken/hidden identity: -5 Not usually something I look for or enjoy, I have read some good ones tho.

Monsterfucking: 5 As long as the focus isn't on the fucking (again sex doesn't do it for me lol) then sure, super interesting dynamics at play there

Pregnancy: -1 Will only enjoy if I'm in the mood for it

Second Chance: 9 I love a good grovelling fic... as long as the second chance isn't due to cheating or some other major betrayal/literal crime against the person. That's not something I can forgive, and as such don't like seeing it in characters. It also only works when the one giving the second chance doesn't immediately forgive whatever the hell happened... we need gradual progress where the one in trouble proves that whatever happened will not do so again.

Slowburn: -5 The only time I will read is if it is secondary to the plot. An entire focus on two characters either just not communicating or taking their grand ol time realising what we all already know? Nah, not for me. Tagged next, if you want to!: @penguinsr4ever @fantasy2739 @disney-marvel-starwars-blog @a-wraith-in-the-mountains (I mean it when I say if you see this and want to do it but aren't tagged, please do. I'm not very good with names so I've also almost definitely forgotten someone I would usually tag in these things. Sorry if I have!)

[basileus]

Caity's 2023 Most Enjoyed List

This isn't a real reclist, but a list for me to squirrel away all the things I enjoyed this year before it's over. It's a little all over the place but this was a mess of a year so I suppose my most enjoyed list can be a mess as well. See you later 2023, don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Media:

1 - "Lena" by qntm. This is a very short story in the format of a Wikipedia article that gives me so many delightful shivery feelings about consciousness and trans-humanism and who owns the rights to machine learning/AI datasets. Very topical this year.

2 - Dungeon Meshi finished its publication and the final chapter made me cry real tears. I've been following the series for 8+ years and it is everything good with comics - art, world building, the engagement and subversion of fantasy tropes, relationships, story, recipes, the casual cannibalism, the ending. All perfect. Ryoko Kui is a genius. I am very excited for the anime airing next week.

"I think the entire point of this journey we went on was about learning how to accept death."

"Meals are the special privilege of the living. In order to stay alive, we need to keep eating."

3 - I read a lot of questionable cnovels this year but I really enjoyed two. The first was The Villainous Shizun Is As Beautiful As A Flower which is a shorter BL Shizun fucker cultivation romance. The arc after the MC finds his father goes on for a little too long (and the timeskip is awkward) but the MC is engaging enough that I didn't mind. This was a very fun quick read that I want to talk more about.

The second was For Love of the Game which is an e-sports danmei where an former actor falls in love with the captain of his fake League of Legends team (lmao). Look. Okay. I was on a kick and actually read FOUR e-sports BL novels this year and this was the one I enjoyed the most. I loved that the MC and ML had an established relationship before ever meeting face to face. Some of the reviews are salty about the ML's sneaky plotting side but both I and the MC were into it! The MC was even into the terrible secondhand embarrassing singing confession scene. But beyond the main couple, I LOVED the side paring of their "old" player and the captain on the rival team. I even got into the stupid video game strategy stuff. I had a great time.

I also re-read Who Dares Slander My Senior Brother and Where is Our Agreement to be Each Other’s Arch-Rivals? now that the translations are finished and enjoyed both of them again free from the tortures of machine translated cultivation terms. I still think both suffer from 3rd act issues. But damn did I like both ships.

(As a note - this is a list of likes but my highest high to highest disappointment cnovel was Cannon Fodder Fake Master Was Stunned After Being Reborn which I'm not even going to link because I'm still mad about it. The idol arc and the triple baby swap reveal made me so crazy invested I was literally telling my sisters the entire plot scene by scene as I read. But the last couple arcs ruined the romance/plot. I HATED the ML by the end. What haaaaappened.)

4 - I remained pretty into the SCP Foundation this year, but instead of the wiki itself, I spent a lot of time listening to the SCP Archives podcast and The Exploring Series podcast episodes. I really enjoyed the radio play aspect of the SPCA but I also enjoy how the Exploring series is just listening to some dude give you lore dumps. Its the ideal painting, journaling, chore, driving, etc. podcast for me. Check out Exploring the SCP Foundation: The ABCs of Death (Compilation) for TWELVE HOURS of great SCPs. Crazy stuff.

5 - Fire Emblem Engage and Fire Emblem Heroes. Not a ton to say on these but I enjoyed them! Ike/Soren continues to cook in FEH and I finished up merging/ascending my Eirika collection because she is the prettiest princess in the entire world.

6 - Among Us. I played..... a lot of Among Us this year with both my discord friends and new friends. Moving on.

7 - Silo on Apple TV. I'm a little burnt out on apocalypse media right now but I started watching Silo when I was also reading Red Rising and it got my brain working on all of these humanity is most human in the soil! the unfeeling earth feeds us! kinda thoughts. Rebecca Ferguson is the prettiest woman in the entire world.

8 - Speaking of digging, @Kala on Tiktok who is tunneling a "suburban mine" under her house, presumably in an HOA community the eastern United States. Kala is actually in the process of being cancelled right now and people are making very boring "I told you so" videos because someone finally snitched on her to authorities for not having a permit to dig, install electrical work, weld, reinforce, "mine", etc. under her property. Obviously this is bad! This is not how people engaging in the social contract/not experiencing some sort of mental illness do things! But I work in Construction/Engineering and am still fully obsessed with her. Hobby tunneling is so fascinating and here is someone who is documenting it for the internet. Let her dig!

Non-Media Related Likes:

1 - Volunteering once a month at my local hospital. I LOVED THIS. I got to hang out with friends and gossip for a couple hours every month, cook new giant recipes for families going through a hard time, and give back. Definitely going to continue this next year.

2 - Summer floating after work in my special "secret" river spot with a big floppy sunhat, a couple ciders, and someone to chat and watch the local birds (herons, turkey vultures, albatross, blackbirds) with. I brought 3 separate dates floating this year and it was the best idea. Will be happening again.

3 - Espresso martinis. I was actually sober for most of this year because I discovered I just like a fancy drink/excuse to go out and don't actually need the alcohol (and it's cheaper). But espresso martinis from this one tiny wood paneled bar in North Portland decorated like a hunting lodge where they make them extra frosted and sweet? Obsessed.

4 - Live music. Nothing as crazy as last year's 23 shows & 2 festivals (thank god) but shouting along to 'Batman' live at the perfect Front Bottoms show in late summer. The Michigander concert that I didn't even want to go to that felt like a house show. The Beaches on Christmas. Tons of local shows at Turn Turn (rip). So fun.

5 - Parasailing. I had never parasailed before my trip to Mexico this year. Who was gonna tell me it fucks! I want to go again right now.

6 - The weird local actor/play scene in Portland. I'm talking about a Cthulhu puppet show, publicly submitted one acts, a live acted Harry Potter rewrite where people shout along to Oppenheimer quotes, a horror fest in a theater so small they make you leave between acts and everyone in the lobby is talking about clown classes, and a one-man gay musical about ghosts. Where else except local theater will you spend $10 and a few hours watching someone pretend sprinkle themselves with seasonings and shove themselves in a large pot. This is the arts, babe. I am only going to attend more of these shows in 2024.

[nightcolorz]

5 (Millenia gate), 12, and 26 for the fic ask game!!

OMG HAII RAY BUTCHYBATS gay eyes stares at u. Thank u for the ask tehehtehheteh.

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!

I love this question!!!!!! So many things!!! (For outsider context millennia gate is my tvc au about social media drama) Recently I’ve been thinking about how I’d respond if someone asked me if I “have a side” or am morally aligned with any stance about the discourse that the fic is centered around. And the answer is no!! I do not. It’s actually sort of strange if u think about it, but I don’t agree with literally any characters at all. Not even the side characters or the random stock social media users, some of those I agree with more than others, but I’m so disconnected as the omniscient creator that I feel almost completely neutral. I just think everyone is bad lmfao that’s the fun. It’s why I’m so entertained when I get comments from ppl reacting like it’s a real drama, bcus they have a perspective I feel so disconnected from. I love it it’s so cathartic to write about a scenario based on the situations I see online that I get very upset about (I have hyper empathy and an online discourse addiction 😭) without feeling any obligation to come up with the correct moral stance, since it’s u know, not real, and I am the god of creation dictating the spiral into madness. I also am always hoping that someone asks me about the themes of millennia gate, cuz believe it or not for a glorified crack fic I put a lot of thought into those 😭 there’s a lot. I’m not gonna get into it bcus that would be it’s own post there is just sm, but omg if anyone wants to hear about it👁️👁️ be my guest to leave an ask.

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

ooo this is hard, I tend to stick very strongly to my opinions. Not necessarily dislike, but I used to be impartial if not completely disinterested in rule 63 until someone (hi Ray) turned me onto it. When I was much younger I didn’t like aus because I just wanted to read extensions of canon, and that has changed majorly. I used to think I didn’t like enemies to lovers until I realized that I only didn’t like straight people, and didn’t like interesting relationships that used to be fueled by rivalry and hatred getting squashed by fluffy romance and rendered less exciting. Turns out I just I want my enemies to lovers to stay enemies when they become lovers <3 lmfao. I also used to think I didn’t like unhealthy relationships in fiction, but it turns out I was in denial,,bless. What is the point of a fictional romance if it’s not a little fucked up? To idealize? Sounds fake. I used to think I didn’t like romance but turns out I only like romance when it’s unhealthy 😭 full circle.

26. Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue? ONLY DIALOGUE ONLY DIALOGUE ONLY DIALOGUE A BILLON TIMES. I love dialogue so much it’s my favorite thing to write. Millennia gate is practically all dialogue anyway lol.

[amazing-spiderling]

For the ask game: 5 14 16 31 49 50

Do you have any works where you refuse to reach a certain relationship landmark, for one reason or another?

Huh. This is kind of a strange question- I mean, I think when I start writing something, I have a pretty good idea of where I want things to end up. So if I'm not choosing to get to a certain "landmark" it's because it just wasn't right for the narrative, not because I'm choosing not to go "that far". I guess I don't often write about characters having children, either because it's not write for the story at the time/doesn't make sense, or I'm not interested in inventing some just for the sake of it. I don't have a problem with children and babies being in stories- I love to include Ellie in Spideypool stories when it makes sense, and I like the idea that Peter would be good with her.

Are there any relationship dynamics/tropes you want to write in the future, but haven't yet?

Ah, so- I have a little idea simmering in a pot. It's certainly one of those, "If no one else is gonna write it I guess I have to do it!" kind of things- that's *sort* of an enemies to lovers thing? More of a rivals to lovers thing, but also with plenty of misunderstanding and identity shenanigans, so there's plenty of familiar things for me to pla with as well.

Are there any relationship dynamics/tropes you enjoy reading about, but wouldn't want to write yourself? Vice versa?

To answer the latter question first, I don't really spend my time writing anything I wouldn't want to read. The closest I have come is writing fills for other people in events that are maybe not my setting/plot of choice, but it's still going to be tailored to my tastes, otherwise there's just no way it would get done. As far as tropes I like reading but wouldn't write? Hum. I don't mind a little bit of a sharper edge of cruelty/ adversarial nature in earlier chunks of a story that can get worked out as the story progresses, but I think I have a hard time channeling that myself, so I mostly worry it would fall flat. I dunno, I'm kind of a never say never person for this sort of thing.

Are there any songs that remind you of [clarified in DMs to be mattfoggy]? Are there any songs that remind them of each other?

I was kinda in my feels about "Heather" by Conan Gray while making a playlist a while back, which I think would be a decent pick if you were trying to make a mix about some serious pining, and it could probably go either way tbh. I have also been reading a lot of the older DD comics lately (80's ish I think?) where Matt is literally involved with a Heather, and Foggy and Natasha (yes, that Natasha) conspire to break them up. It all goes very poorly! Especially for poor Heather.

"I'll Still Have Me" is another song that hits me just right, and I think it's the kind of song that would have Foggy SOBBING during S3 (or y'know, any of those periods when Matt is faking his death or whatever.)

Everybody knows I'm upset, they don't even have to ask it They know I believed in us last week.

What's your favorite relationship dynamic that you've seen in another work of fiction? Has this influenced your writing at all?

I don't think I got terribly involved in shipping until, oh, college or maybe even a little after that. I consumed a lot of media that I think is popular for ships (Sailor Moon, read GO in high school, other various 90's anime, comic books) but I was always pretty content to accept whatever relationship was presented on screen or not really think about it much at all. But one of my long-time friends and I first bonded over X-Men and the buddy relationship between Wolverine and Nightcrawler, and a few years later he showed me the tanker chapter to Metal Gear Solid 2, telling me "I think you're going to like these two guys" because of my penchant for buddy bro relationships. At the time I was content to be like, "YEAH WHAT GOOD BROS" but obviously that didn't last. XD Since then, nearly all of my ships have followed the pattern of friends-to-lovers, and obviously that shows up a lot in my writing and art. (Although weirdly, while I totally GET Logan/Kurt as a ship, it just doesn't do anything for me.)

Free space! Brag on yourself! Advertise your writing! What are you most proud of recently?

Oh gosh. Well, I recently wrote a stupidly fluffy little fic for a friend called, "Keep It Simple" which is a very silly college MattFoggy story about Matt struggling to confess his feelings to Foggy while Foggy does everything he can to... help him confess. (It makes sense in context, I promise, haha.) That was a fun one to write, mostly because I got to come up with lots of silly things for Foggy to say, and I love getting to write about him being a good bro.

I'm also charging ahead with a co-writer to work on "Home's Around the Corner (It's a Long Way There)" and hopefully chapter 4 will be out before too long. (You know how it is with edits.) We only had a general idea of where we wanted the story to go when we started, but as we've written more, some interesting wrinkles and turns have cropped up and I'm having a good time with it. I think the end result will be pretty satisfying all around. :3

[darkestmetamorphosis]

THIS THIS THIS. It's just the perfect woman/incompetent man sitcom couple that's been the standard for literal decades, now with ukefication yay :|

Like can people just... write female characters as people it's not that hard! If you're trying to write a woman - whether that's an oc, or a canon character who probably already has a personality beyond what you're flattening her to - and all you can think of is either "girlboss" or "cringefail" with no middle ground; if you really cannot comprehend a woman being a normal three dimensional person, do some fucking introspection PLEASE. Stop taking inspiration from media and tropes and look at real live people

And the obsession with "queering" relationships is... ugh where do I even start. First of all that does not make it any more or less "pure" or whatever. Second of all if you have a straight man and a straight woman, they're still both straight no matter who's doing what in the bedroom

If one or both of the characters is queer though that's its own set of nasty stereotypes. If one or both of them are bi it's the "all bi men are feminine so they must also be (insert laundry list of infantilizing stereotype)"/"all bi women are badass girlbosses because they're Not Like Other Girls". If they're trans it's "penis=dom/vagina=sub" reducing them to their agab and parts they may not even want. Like it's misgendering with extra steps, in complete denial of things like bottom dysphoria, surgery, or the fact that maybe trans people might have more reason than most to be averse to the whole gender role reversal thing because having that expectation imposed on you your whole life really fucking sucks and it sucks even worse to be pushed back into the same box. Except the box now has a thin veneer of fake wokeness, repackaging the same old shit

And for all the people in the notes going "where are you seeing this" it's not even just on this webbed site, it happens irl too. ime it comes from the girls who say things like "all men are trash" and people who make nasty jokes/assumptions about me because they think I look like a ~smol uwu soft boi~

All the stereotyping aside, the vibe I get from these sort of dynamics is like... neither of the characters is even really into it? Like it's not about love, not even lust, it's just about power and dominance with no aftercare (because surprise surprise, they don't know how bdsm - including actual femdom - works) Like it's just there because the writer thinks it's the only way you can have a straight relationship without being sexist

can't vibe with the pathetic sopping wet generic sub boy man/pristine feminine perfect goddess woman dynamic people try to put onto every m/f pairing in existence. don't you want something more interesting? characters don't need to have perfect psychologist approved relationships in fiction obvs but it's just so boring. don't you want something in character? don't you want something more interesting?? oh she pegs him? and you write this in a way that implies penetration is about domination and power? wowee. never seen that one before.

[bbyyhyuck]

Hi ,

Can I request Nct 127 as love tropes. I really liked the one with dream unit

Yess, and Im happy you liked the other one!!

nct 127 as love tropes

warnings: none

___________________________________________

taeil:...first love. Taeil didnt believe in all those "love at first sight" things, neither in those soulmate ones, since he never felt a romantic attraction to anyone, until he saw you smile. His heart completely melted. And then, he finally understood. Poor boy was head over heels for you, and promised himself that you were the first and only love.

taeyong:...friends to lovers. This literally screams Taeyong. Like he would be your supportive best friend who's secretly had a crush on you but would hide it so good you wouldn't even realise. But when you got a boyfriend and he cheated on you, Taeyong couldnt bear it anymore and confessed everything. You told him you need some time to think about it but in the end you got together

johnny:...bestfriend's brother. You knew your bestie had an older brother, but she didnt tell you he was that hot. Your jaw dropped when you saw him. And his too, when he saw you. You two started having a thing but you couldnt betray your bestie like that, so you kept it a secret, until you guys started being sick of always hiding so you confessed to her about your relationship, and she was 100% percent supportive, as long as Johnny didnt steal you from her.

yuta:... she fell first, he fell harder & opposites atract. You def fell in love with him and crushed on him for some time, until Yuta finally got that. He just couldnt understand. You guys were so so different, but he somehow felt attracted to you too. At some point, he even started leaving you little anonymous notes in your locker, until you found him trying to place one of them one day.

doyoung:...boy next door. Idk if thats counted as a trope but Doyoung looks like the cute boy that lives next to you and loves to like always smile and chat with you, also helping you whenever your car had a problem or the sink didnt work. He would be so sweet, its impossible to not fall for him.

jaehyun:...fake dating. He crushed on you for a long time now and when he needed to pretend that he has a girlfriend for a bet, his mind flew right to you, and asked you to pretend being his gf for a month. And oh if only he didnt fall harder for you that month. He tried giving you small signs, as holding your hand even when you were all alone, giving you a ride, buying you lunch, and if you still didnt get them, he would straightforward kiss you and tell you that he loves you.

jungwoo:...secret admirer. Jungwoo probs fell for you when he saw you in the school hallway and thought that you looked like a goddess, so, he started supporting your social media while staying in the dark. He thought you were so sweet and smart, but he was too shy to talk to you, until one day you saw him at the cafeteria and asked for his insta, saying that he was cute. He thought he was dreaming for a second, but when he realised it wasnt a dream, he gave it to you and soon after you started dating.

(mark and haechan are here)

[thinkingaboutyoungroyals]

I’ve re-watched “Young Royals” so many times and each rewatch just never fails to astound me. This is one of the most beautiful stories I’ve ever seen in a teen drama. Yes, it’s trope-y, there’s no avoiding that. And it’s not a perfect show. But, it managed one thing that many teen dramas often struggle with: authenticity.

All the characters, yes, including August, are all so well thought out and no one is one-dimensional. They’re all flawed. They have their own morals and beliefs that they either embrace or reject. They have their own background stories and motivations for their actions. Not to mention, the teens? They act like teens! They go to school, hang out with friends, complain about their families, have crushes, and take part in hobbies. 

And none of them look like they’re about to walk a runway! They have acne and scars and messy hair.

The costumes, man! The kids wear regular, comfortable clothes that are still fashionable and appropriate for school. Yes, the rich kids are wearing designer names that scream “money!” (I noticed the Calvin Klein logo in one of Wilhelm’s sweatshirts) but that’s the thing — they’re subtle without being in your face. Even the girls’ makeup looks like the actresses themselves did their own makeup!

And don’t get me started on the relationships! All the relationships! Familial! Platonic! Romantic!

Wilhelm clearly loves his parents but he’s the second born. The spare. Most of the attention growing up was most likely on Erik. And Wilhelm most likely felt invisible, which was just fine with him, he doesn’t like the attention… until Erik died and Wilhelm became crown prince. Suddenly, all the attention that their parents gave Erik was given to him and it wasn’t the good kind. They have expectations for him now. Big ones. I don’t think Wilhelm’s parents are homophobic, not at all. His mother seemed sympathetic towards him after the video came out. But, at the end of the day, she was still the Queen and she had to make choices for the good of the Crown. And, unfortunately, that clearly took precedence over her role as a mother.

Simon and Sara’s dad made some wrong choices and lost his family in the process. And although Simon seemed more forgiving, Sara is clearly not. Micke tries to get back in Simon’s good graces by getting him the booze for the party but freaks out when he thought Simon was using drugs. And even Linda, best mom ever, clashes with Sara, who believes that their mother isn’t doing enough for them. We, the audience, sees that she is and Simon does, too, but Sara feels that it’s not enough and Linda doesn’t even try to fight her on it.

And Felice clearly loves her mom and struggles to meet her expectations but is getting choked in the process (’quite literally). It makes me wonder if her initially going after Wilhelm is because her mother is pressuring her to get with the prince. During parents’ day, her mother asked after Wilhelm, not Felice. And Felice realizes pretty quickly how toxic her mother is but, in the beginning, there wasn’t much she could do but go along with it. But, slowly and surely, she starts breaking away, starting with refusing to wear her mother’s dress and refusing to be Lucia and giving it to Sara, who actually wanted it.

And there’s August’s obvious distaste of his mother’s boyfriend and his rocky relationship with her after his father’s suicide. August is still clearly grieving while his mother seemed to have already moved on. And although this doesn’t excuse August’s actions, it shows his motivation and how strongly he’s holding on to whatever sort of control he can get his hands on: the rowing team, his status in school as prefect, and Wilhelm.

(More under the cut cause this was longer than I anticipated.)

I can’t talk about “Young Royals” without talking about Wilhelm and Simon’s relationship. The way it started because Simon spoke up in class about the unfairness of the law when it comes to welfare scams and tax evasions. Wilhelm’s whole life was probably filled with fake friends, people who only wanted him for his connections or to elevate their own status. In a sea of fake people, Simon was authentic. He never pretended to be anything he was not. And I can see why that must be intriguing to Wilhelm and he pursues him without even realizing it. He’s drawn to Simon and not just ‘cause he’s cute and has the voice of an angel.

And they got the actual way teenagers act when confronted by feelings for a crush. They watch and long from a distance. They shyly try to get close but get overwhelmed at any hint of reciprocation. The careful hesitation at that first kiss. The heartbreak of the possibility that you read the signs wrong. The giddiness of that first relationship. Yes, they do have sex from the get-go but the relationship itself was not sexual — it was innocent, sweet, and full of adoration.

They even have a fairly healthy relationship! They communicate and talk about their feelings. They don’t let things fester. When Wilhelm realizes he’s hurt Simon, he apologizes. And Simon, even if he may not understand Wilhelm’s motivations, tries to do so, anyway. They have so much respect for each other. They had a relationship that stemmed from friendship and trust.  

That’s what makes the eventual reality setting in hit hard. Because we suddenly remember that Wilhelm is no ordinary boy — he’s a prince. He’s in love with a commoner who also happens to be another boy. I don’t know what it’s like to live under a monarchy but I can imagine that even if the actual people they rule don’t care if their crown prince likes boys, the monarchy is still set in their traditional ways.

And these boys, who are experiencing love and a relationship for the first time had theirs marred by the violation of their first time and the expectations of the crown. Not to mention, they’re teenagers! That’s traumatizing for both of them! 

Suffice to say, I’m glad we have this piece of media that, despite it about being about royalty and nobility and rich kids, it’s enjoyable to watch because it’s incredibly relatable and real.

When you see these characters, you see your peers and people you’ve grown up with. You can even see yourself. 

And that, my friends, is why we need a season 2.

[checkmatein3moves]

Hello! What are the RO's favorite social media platforms (and why)?

considering i've only partially thought about the specifics of popular social media in oracle (so far all i have is that the main one, scry, is like if you combined the connection aspect of linkedin, the nosy aspect of facebook, the forum aspect of reddit and like, the vapid news aspect of any tabloid) then for this i'll just do what they would like if they used social media in this time and universe

hebe: mainly on art twitter. posts her art on tumblr too but prefers the exposure of twitter. gets into her fair share of arguments over people reposting without credit and blatantly misinterpreting her favourite characters. complains about the toxic people but likes commissioning other artists to support them and deep diving into constructive criticisms. uses facebook solely to share pictures of her brother's dogs or to shade her sister. posts on instagram with windo and MC a lot, has an aesthetic theme

windo: goes on reddit but specifically the redditships/tifu/aita realm, occasionally the nosleep type subreddits. gets sucked in. sometimes posts in them so people can laugh at the stupid things he's done, e.g. TIFU by offering to hang a priceless painting for a friend. decided to improvise when i realised i didn't know what i was doing. gives advice on the relationship posts. knows there's a lot of fake posts but operates on the suspension of disbelief to connect with strangers. also has an instagram w/ a mixture of goofy, friendship and fashion posts, and a work twitter to give commentary on political articles

sailor: a finsta to scroll meme instagrams. they actually laugh out loud at some of the bad jokes they come across. doesn't have tiktok so they can sit on their high horse in disdain for it but has seen millions in the reels tab anyway. never posts or comments, just likes. they send the MC memes but not through dms or anything, literally will get up and show them irl if they find something they think they'd laugh at like a cat bringing you a dead mouse. don't really do public social media profiles because they value their privacy.

jelly: their finsta that they just post bullshit on. they have like 3 followers and all their posts are like a slew of every thought that pops into their head at 2am. their celebrity crushes, things that made them laugh for 5 mins for no reason, their take on soulmates, on fictional characters, nostalgia posts, dog pics, them listening to one direction, 5 selfies in a row of different angles, drunk posts. their public social medias are all very put together and well curated tho. pretty pics and makeup #ads on insta. eloquent linkedin. no facebook

twenty: barely uses any. dislikes seeing too many opinions that he didn't ask for. had a phase where he used to troll scammers (and sometimes just random people to be a menace) on habbo hotel. wouldn't admit it but he likes taking uquizzes. what kind of emo are u. what horror movie trope would u be. what colour would u be. 9/10 he’s not even happy about the results but he just goes :/ and moves onto the next one. has seen like 5 total tiktoks and only knows what a tiktoker is because jelly has explained it

noir: doomscrolls on various sites, mostly twitter and douban. hates these sites with a passion but continues to consume all the depressing content anyway as just one of many shitty habits. had a sadboy tumblr (because OF COURSE HE DID) in his teens that is semi-common knowledge but old enough news that it’s not really something people bring up to tease him about. black and white big gifs with text, angsty textposts, classics like that. pretends to care about his linkedin but god if it’s not the most boring thing ever to him. posts view pics on insta 

honey: honestly probably normal twitter. her dn is just honey and her @ is something generic and she shares her opinions on condiments and mundane things like that. not really interested in discourse or fandom spaces and is not the most up to date in meme culture. she’s busy a lot, so she doesn’t have much time to spend online. watches those calming asmr baking videos on youtube. in her teens i think she would’ve been a fan of acoustic cover channels. had a facebook when she was younger but deactivated it because she never used it

jareth: his secret letterboxd. actually reviews movies impartially and passionately. nobody would ever guess it was him. not a mega popular account, but pretty credible. likes to take advantage of the fact he’s not taken too seriously by certain demographics, so he shares his more comprehensive opinions anonymously. gets genuinely irritated by most troll reviews. some are funny enough to let slide. he had a wattpad once but NOBODY knows nor will they ever know because he would die of embarrassment if that came out. sometimes says annoying shit on twitter but nothing too controversial or topical

ludo: it’s not really a social media but like......ebay. he can scroll ebay for hours whether he’s window shopping or actually wants to buy something. likes to look in the antique section especially. the habit started because he grew up with barely any money and used to curiously browse the kind of obscure stuff rich collectors liked to buy, but by the time he had income of his own (albeit not that much) he’d kind of convinced himself that he understood why people wanted this junk. now it’s like an addiction. he also has a twitter that’s more clued into memes and references but is still pretty mundane. 

monty: her instagram is very well curated. meticulous, even, with selfies, fashion, meals, more ‘relatable’ backstage pictures, etc. it’s definitely a little too perfect but she’s proud of her aesthetic eye, and her public image isn’t fake so much as presented in a way that she gets to keep her personal things to herself. is the kind of celebrity to do instagram lives just to make her fans happy. made a youtube channel due to popular demand but doesn’t really have a clear plan for it, so it’s mostly just q&a where she talks about her favourite characters, funny set anecdotes and her met gala looks. jareth appears on it sometimes to talk about their drama greenwood creek and he suggests meme reviews and things like that

[canary3d-obsessed]

Lost Tomb Reboot Lewks: Part 12

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff)

Warning: Spoilers for both seasons of The Lost Tomb Reboot

Look 61

The first look is Wu Xie’s road trip outfit, which includes this grey and white jacket. It has a contrasting elastic waistband, cuffs, and neckline, and slanted pockets. 

This is exactly the sort of jacket that my 5th grade science teacher would have worn in 1979, and she would have slayed in it.  She awakened something in me and it wasn’t love of STEM. (Spock was responsible for my love of STEM, and various other awakenings in 5th-grade me) I’m sure it would still look great on her, because she is probably a silver haired foxy granny now, and that’s who this jacket belongs on in the current century.

Wu Xie should never have gotten within a mile of this old lady jacket.

To clarify, I’m not being gender-essentialist here; I’m being ageist. If this jacket had some contemporary detailing or interesting features to offset its last-century vibe, the way Bai Haotian’s green roller derby jacket does, it would be fine even though I’m not a fan of this sort of collar in menswear. But it’s just a nicely-made old lady jacket. Mary Berry could bake a nice cake while wearing this jacket. 

Note: Liu Sang could wear the hell out of this jacket, of course, because that man can wear literally anything and make it look like it’s made of spun pheromones.

(more after the cut!)

Wu Xie eventually improves this look by taking the jacket off and giving the camera operator a nice long look at his ass. He’s wearing dark jeans and a long-sleeve white thermal shirt, which is a great improvement. 

Look 62

The granny jacket is contrasted by the blessed arrival of Huo Daofu’s daddy jacket, and the rest of the clothing that Huo Daofu is wearing with it.  This is a dark green jacket with a nipped in waist, military styling, and invisible stitching that says "obey" You can't see it, but oh, it's there.

He's wearing this jacket of domination with jeans so tight they appear to be made of paint. I approve of these jeans so much that I might need to take a break from writing for a moment. 

Instead of shoes he’s opted for a pair of tall riding boots, just in case anyone failed to get the message.

He finishes off this look with gold rimmed glasses, pomegranate-toned lips, and an air of authority so strong that even Pangzi does what he tells him to with minimal back chat.

Later the jacket comes off, so he can wrap it solicitously around the shoulders of a person who is already wearing a perfectly good jacket.  OP looks up “service top” in the dictionary.

Underneath, Huo Daofu is wearing a grey houndstooth waistcoat. Shen Wei’s tailor would gnash his teeth in envy, if he saw the cut of this vest. This tops off a warm-toned brown shirt worn with a silver-toned watch. The watch is...round, and it tells time. He’s wearing a brown belt with his black jeans. Huo Daofu is great at combining warm and cool, formal and casual, in a single look. 

Look at this dapper bitch. Slaying this hard has got to be against his Hippocratic oath.

This jacket-free look is combined with hip posture so provocative that it sends Wu Xie into a hasty search for the last scraps of his heteronormative assumptions. Xiao Bai does her best to help.

Look 63

The beards. 

OP's family of origin is full of hairy visigoths, so Pangzi's beard is a style I've encountered before, alas. We call this a [US] Civil War beard. This one is terrible and lopsided, but at least it covers a lot of Pangzi’s face.

Wu Xie’s fake facial hair isn't terrible, but isn't great. You can tell it’s fake because everything about Zhu Yilong is inherently lovely, and this isn’t. 

Also, it's a ridiculous idea for a disguise. Wu Xie's close-trimmed chin patch and mustache are nice style, very typical for a Chinese dude. They let Wu Xie’s lovely facial structure continue to do its thing while they just provide a bit of an accent. But this is a problem, because they don't change his appearance in any meaningful way; his cheekbones are still visible from orbit. 

He’s wearing this facial hair and cap with the same vest he wore earlier to practice slingshot. This time he's accessorizing with a simple tan jacket, with an interesting buttonhole detail... 

...and with an attractive human IV stand.

Doctor doctor, give me the news, I've got a bad case of loving you you loving me.

Look 64

This look belongs to the man that Jia Kezale’s wife has replaced him with. We have to infer his look based on his shoes, and that he is presumably in the same league as the extremely hot Jia Kezale. 

Based on these shoes, which are very nice, if a little weathered, Huarache-style loafers, this other man in her life also presumably wears linen trousers and a guayabera shirt. 

*mentally pictures this person* 

ok, I guess I don't blame her. 

[Image, and shirts, from cubavera dot com]

Look 65

After having his IV fluids, Wu Xie goes for a nighttime motorbike ride, because he apparently needs to go way up on a hill to see that the hotel he’s staying in is circular.

So, what is with the Ultraman motorcycle helmet? Does it have any padding or insulation at all? Why doesn’t it cover more than 40 percent of his head and face?

And shouldn't it have a chin strap?  How does it stay on in a crash?  I mean yes I know this is a show with sentient crustaceans...yeah, never mind. I’m sure that’s a super effective helmet. 

Once the rain starts, his mustache and beard look better. Still not great, but better. Here he looks like he’s cosplaying as Zhou Yunlan.

Now he’s wet and lying on the ground because...oh, hell if I remember. Just look at him, poor moist snookums. He needs a blankie and a hot tea and a hurt-comfort fic about him and his doctor. 

This look gives the newest members of the polycule an opportunity to demonstrate their devotion, as they haul him off the motorcycle and over to a wall, and then continue to stand in the rain, for some reason, instead of going indoors. 

I gotta say, when a producer decides to pour water on Zhu Yilong, they  commit to it.

Speaking of commitment, here’s Huo Daofu holding his hand up over Wu Xie’s face like a tiny umbrella. 

Bonus 1

Look at the yellow duffle coat on that kid. She looks beautiful and classic, and the mustard yellow color just pops so nicely in this scene. 

The mustard yellow also visually marks her allegiance to gold-dragon-wearing Xue Wu. 

Bonus 2

This look is Wu Xie’s antique-scheming outfit, but now he is wearing the Sunglasses of Manpain. They belong to Pangzi, but Wu Xie is wearing them while he waits for Pangzi to collect his angst from the morgue.

These sunglasses are good to wear while contemplating the fact that, despite the many differences in narrative tropes between Chinese and Western media, the one where a female character is hurt and/or dies merely to further a male character's emotional development remains a constant.

That said, this is a nice small signifier of their relationship, as he puts these glasses on Pangzi, allowing him to hide his feelings, while hugging him, allowing him to express his feelings.