#Even though she definitely didn’t mean to kill anyone
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Danny found himself in the Batcave way before the Bats were due to return home. Alfred was on comms at the computer, so Danny waved to him before taking a seat on the head of the dinosaur. He was still so lost in thought.
His chat with Lady Gotham had been…uninformative. She’d had a lot to say, and he knew that he probably needed to hear every word of it, but none of it had brought him closer to solving the Coma Case. It hadn’t even told him if the portal was related!
He heaved a heavy sigh. “One thing at a time, Danny. Gotta call Connie.”
But what to tell him? That the Justice League Dark are going to have to infiltrate the main base for the League of Assassins because any of the heroes or their kids going would mean war on Gotham? Yeah, that���ll go over well.
He called the House.
“You’ve reached Batman.”
“Hey, Z.”
“Phantom! Why’re you calling the House?”
“Because what I’m about to say next may very well upset everyone and I very much do not want a call back about this tonight.”
“So be here in person?”
“That’s an even worse idea.”
She sighed, probably pinching the bridge of her nose. Had she been reading? Did he interrupt a meeting?
“Sorry,” he said quietly.
“What about?” Her voice was soft, but still stressed.
“For upsetting you… For interrupting whatever you were doing.”
“I wasn’t- It’s okay, Phantom, you didn’t interrupt anything. You have news?”
“Yeah.”
“Let me get the others in one place. You good to hold for a minute?”
“Yeah.”
“‘Kay, it’ll only be a minute.”
“Got it.”
There was a click on the line as it fell silent.
Danny sighed again.
There was another click and Zatanna began to speak again. “Alright, everyone’s here. Whatchu got for us, Phantom?”
He swallowed, forcing the words out before he chickened out and hung up on his team. “Battison and his children have spoken in council; In order to investigate the likely involvement with the League of Assassins, the Justice League Dark has to go alone.” He inhaled to try and calm his nerves. “Anyone of the JL heroes or their kids going in could risk war in Gotham and no one wants to see that happen.”
“Wouldn’t us going in be risking war?” Raven asked.
Danny shrugged. “Yeah, but a lot less so.”
There was a sigh that most definitely came from Constantine on the other end.
“We’ll give everyone a proper update once I’m back at the House, but I figured I should give y’all a bit to process the possibility.”
Deadman snorted. “How nice. Why can’t all of our missions give us time to process information?”
“Because Phantom’s not actively trying to kill any of us.” Zatanna answered, probably trying to slap him. “When’ll you be back?”
“Tomorrow? Yeah. Some time tomorrow.”
“Got it. We’ll order pizza.”
“Yay!”
The line went dead.
They didn’t like goodbyes, only saying as such before a high-risk mission. Abrupt hang-ups were better, though not during a crisis.
Danny stared up at the ceiling of the Cave from where he now laid on the T-Rex’s head. He still wanted to know where Batty Man got this thing. And the penny. Why’re they here? How are they here?
Eventually, Alfred left the comms and went upstairs, announcing his leave before going up to the Manor. Probably to make a midnight snack for the Batfam.
Soon thereafter, the group all came back to the Cave. First, Kate, who’s Batwoman; Then, Spoiler, Black Bat, and Red Robin; Next was Red Hood, who’s Jason, and Nightwing, then Batman and Robin. Duke was asleep, being the only day shift, and Barbra was elsewhere in the city.
Kate didn’t stay, changing before going up to the Manor to get her car. She was going to pick up Barbra from wherever she was and take her home. Steph and Cassandra were quick to also go upstairs, both very tired. Steph was leaning on Cassandra the whole way. Nightwing had dragged Red Hood into the infirmary before they could even get their masks off, so that was fun to listen to. Bruce sent Damian up to the Manor the moment he’d finished changing before sitting at the Bat Computer and starting to work on something. Timothy had taken his mask off, but hadn’t moved from his bike.
Nearly ten minutes after Dick and Jason had changed and gone upstairs to bed, Danny sighed and sat up. He wasn’t going to get anything done by sitting on his ass and counting bats. He resigned himself to talking to Bruce for a while longer. Not like it was a bad thing! Just that he would very much be asleep right now, but knows he won’t be able to sleep anywhere that isn’t the House or his Lair.
Timothy had moved from his bike, but hadn’t gone to change. Instead, he stood at the base of the T-Rex, staring at it in deep thought. Finally, he climbed to the top and sat next to Danny, about a foot of space between them.
Danny repressed a sigh.
“I looked into you,” Timothy said after a moment, “figured out who you were. Who you are.”
“I’m not anybody right now.”
“‘Course you are. You’re exactly who you were.”
“I can’t be who I was because I’m who I am now.”
“So you admit that you’re somebody?”
“It’s very well known, at least among the heroes, that I’m the Ghost King. That counts as being somebody.”
“True.”
“Is there a point to this discussion?”
A beat. “There was an accident when you were in middle school. The portal that your parents built, it’s what killed you, right?”
Another beat. Then another. “You need to learn a lesson in tact from Dick.” Inhale. Exhale. “Yeah, it was.”
“I’m sorry.”
“My first instinct is to say ‘It’s okay’, but we both know that’s a lie.” He didn’t turn to look at Timothy. “The dead don’t talk about their deaths even to each other. The living asking them about it isn’t something that happens. Whenever it’s brought up, the memories come flooding back. Most Realms Beings who have lived are only Realms Beings because of the way they died. Painfully, traumatically. Alone. Not only do we have to remember everything about how we died when it’s brought up, but we feel it, too. When I say it all comes back, I mean it; It all comes back and it hurts just the same as it did the first time.”
Timothy breathed in. Then, he let it go with a whispered, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
Danny shook his head. “You didn’t, but that’s not a good excuse. I’m not going to forgive you for the slight because that’s not how this goes. Assuring that you're forgiven will only affirm that you can get away with the behavior in the future.”
Timothy nodded, his eyes on the dinosaur head they were sitting on.
Danny was suddenly very aware that the typing at the computer had stopped, though Bruce hadn’t yet left. He was listening.
“Jason and Damian. They both died, yeah?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Have they ever been comfortable talking about how it happened? Have they ever been the ones to bring it up?”
Timothy shook his head. “No.”
“That should’ve been your first clue.”
Danny let the cold rings of light wash over him again. It’s always easier to use his powers as Phantom instead of Danny, though using them as Danny was not nearly as hard as it used to be.
Phantom phased through the head of the dinosaur, finding his way to the memorial that had been put up for Jason, if the named notes were anything to go by. Gently, he placed his hand on the glass and whispered, “You have suffered a great many hardships in both your life and relife. Your rest was disturbed, though I have no doubts that you stand where you are needed. Moriste demasiado joven, niño. Tu familia aún llora, aunque caminas entre ellos. Se te protegerá como tú proteges, se te ayudará como tú ayudas y se te llorará como tú lloras. Tu fuerza nunca te fallará y tu corazón tendrá el peso de una pluma. Descansa ahora, y no sientas más ira cuando despiertes..*”
The Cave fell silent again, not even the bats shuffling above pierced the heavy atmosphere.
“What was that?” Bruce’s voice tentatively broke through the air.
“It is the duty of a psychopomp to guide souls to their chosen afterlife. That was a blessing for Jason, a hope that he will not need my services for a while to come. It was also an apology for not reaching him the first time.”
“It was in Spanish, right?” Timothy asked, “Why couldn’t I understand it?”
“Because it wasn’t meant for your ears.” His feet landed soundlessly on the ground. “Am I okay to stay the night here? The others aren’t expecting me until sometime tomorrow anyway.”
A ghost - ha - of a smile crossed Bruce’s face. “Of course. Will you need a room?”
Phantom shook his head lightly. “Nah, you have a library?”
“Naturally,” the man said, “C’mon, I’ll walk you there.”
“Awesome.”
Part 21 Part 23
Translation 1 - Spanish - "You died too young, child. Your family still weeps, though you walk among them. You will be protected as you protect, helped as you help, and mourned as you mourn. Your strength will never fail you and your heart will have the weight of a feather. Rest now, and feel no more anger when you awaken."
#Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant#part 22#dc x dp#i am not a native spanish speaker#i don't actually know any of the language outside of very easy words#please let me know if i made any mistakes#the translator i used is called DeepL Translate
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#creeps comic#creepypasta fandom#creepypasta#creepypasta oc#artists on tumblr#i drew this with my finger#ashley blackhart#cc#That awkward moment when some random purple armed witch comes out of the woods to congratulate a cotton candy clown on killing everyone#Even though she definitely didn’t mean to kill anyone#my ocs#forcing my ocs to interact#Poor cc#but also damn#how did you mess up the cupcakes that BAD!?#The witch oc sells potions and poisons
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would you do satosugu discovering their "friend" (both of them have a fatass crush on m!reader) is a teen dad, and just all of them chaotically taking care of a baby. (like those collage students raising a baby tiktoks?)
ok so technically i only write for blue lock buttttttttttt… i am more than willing to make an exception for this. this is also my favorite niche of satosugu fics so im super honored someone requested it from me
tags: male reader has a foster daughter bc hell yeah girl dads, unnamed child bc that's too much for me, reader is a sorcerer, found family but in a janked up kinda way, whipped satosugu, pre-hidden inventory so everyone is in high school in this this a long one yall
part two coming soon!
★ when assigned an extremely harsh mission, you find an orphaned child barely a year old within all the rumble. you soon found out her family was recently killed in the destruction. unsure of what would happen to her after this, you decided to take her as your own.
★ scared of any judgment, you didn’t tell anyone about her so only a few higher-ups were aware. luckily you were allowed to live off campus so you two could have more space and privacy.
★ however the physical effects of raising a kid all on your own at such a young age were certainly showing. you came to school visibly worn down, often falling asleep in the middle of class and taking more absences than usual.
★ the first people to notice, of course, were gojo and geto. as nosy as they were, they tried not to push it, knowing you had just come back from a really taxing mission. though they did get more and more suspicious whenever you didn’t let them visit your new place.
★ however one day, they did spot you out in public wearing a baby carrier with, of course, a baby they’d never seen before resting right inside. they immediately came up to you and bombarded you with multiple questions before you got them to chill out and explained everything.
★ wanting you to take some time off (and win you over), they offer to take care of her regularly. who were you to refuse? after all, it is free babysitting and you were already using up so much money hiring actual babysitters.
★ during their first babysitting job, you thanked them profusely before going back into your room and instantly falling asleep the moment your body hit your bed, taking a very well-deserved nap.
★ you see, gojo was already pretty hesitant about you having a kid around. this was before he took in megumi so he found basically any child gross and annoying. (though he’s somehow even more attracted to you now that you’re a dad.)
★ coughs dilf lover gojo i mean what?
★ so when gojo picked up your baby for the first time, she immediately cried when they made eye contact and he got so so personally offended that he started rethinking this whole babysitting thing.
★ the first thirty minutes or so of taking care of your kid went pretty okay. that was until she started crying again and neither of them knew why.
★ you see, these idiots have no idea how to care for a child.
★ they frantically tried to calm her down and figure out what was wrong without needing to wake you. they checked if she was hurt in any way, she definitely wasn’t hungry since they already fed her, nor did she need to be changed. gojo even called shoko to see if she could do anything.
★ when they eventually saw her crawling towards your room and sobbing right outside your door, hesitantly let her in to see her climb onto your bed and lay down with you, realizing she just missed you the whole time. that entire experience made them so exhausted that they almost climbed into bed with you. but when they saw the gratitude on your face after you woke up, it made it all worth it.
★ luckily the next few times they watched over her, babysitting got more and more easy as she grew used to them.
★ they start coming over so often to look after her that your place basically becomes their second home.
★ geto is in charge of doing her hair since the last time gojo attempted it, it was just a big mess of hair ties and ribbons. geto’s definitely not complaining since he loves to get her ready. in fact, geto does a lot of the responsible stuff when taking care of her since gojo, hmm what’s a nice way to put it, lacks a lot of the necessary skills.
★ oh yeah, remember what i said about gojo hating younger children? yeah, that completely changes as he spends more time with your daughter. he’s almost always playing with her or showing up with a brand new toy or stuffed animal just for her. he ends up loving her so so much and wants to be her cool fun dad.
★ unfortunately both of them are way too nice when it comes to disciplining her. they let her get away with so much. late bedtimes, too much tv, grabbing any treats she wants off the grocery store shelves. how can they not spoil such an adorable little girl like her!?
★ what’s also unfortunate is how they try to drag you into it.
“come on, y/n. let loose a little. cake for dinner does sound pretty appetizing right now.”
“come on. just let her watch ten more minutes before bed.” gojo lazed on the couch with her on his lap. “besides this cartoon is starting to get good.”
“come onnn… just let her buy it.” geto held up a sparkly pink dress you already told him she doesn’t need with his own sparkles in his eyes. “she’ll look so cute in it. i promise i’ll pay you back.”
★ their hearts explode whenever you’re affectionate with her. they love the way you gently rock her in your arms while humming a sweet lullaby, slowly lulling her to sleep. the way they see you kiss her forehead after placing her into the crib before quickly turning around and acting like they weren’t staring the whole time. they fall head over heels for you for probably the twentieth time by now since they met you but those times were definitely the hardest.
★ they’ve been in her life for a good while so when she begins talking more frequently, she starts calling them her papas as she does with you. gojo aka former “ugh kids are so gross and icky” feels his heart combusting whenever she calls him that and he owns that title proudly. meanwhile geto feels so endeared and honored that she sees him that way.
★ “we’re not the stepdads. we’re the dads that stepped up!” looking asses.💀
★ the secret of you having a kid doesn’t last for long since these two can’t keep quiet about it. they’re just way too happy and want to show her off. especially gojo who scrolls through 100s of photos of her while gushing about her to basically anyone who’ll listen. shoko and nanami are the most common targets whenever this happens.
★ he even ends up showing photos of you and your daughter napping together (that you had no idea he took), making you snatch his phone away in embarrassment.
★ whenever you guys go out on family dates to go to the beach or picnicking, geto always takes the time to dress her up with pretty hairstyles and cute little outfits. he absolutely loves doting on her.
★ they love her with all their hearts and would do absolutely anything for her. she’s so lucky to have three weird dads take care of her and raise her. a very odd and… unconventional family dynamic but an amazing one nonetheless. this family only grows bigger and bigger once gojo takes in megumi and geto practically adopts mimiko and nanako.
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taglist: @userwithlotsoftime @lucas2060 @kiiyoooo
ayo we rocking with the star bullet points?? 🗣️⁉️
#★ snail.writes ★#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x male reader#satosugu x male reader#satosugu x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x male reader#gojo x male reader#geto x male reader#gojo x reader#geto x reader#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jujutsu kaisen fluff#finished this up while watching drew gooden
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Queen i love ur stories will you ever do other characters one day? keep writing girl ur killing it
i actually have been working on something for gojo so here it is lol but i didn’t think people wanted other characters! please let me know someone you guys would like me to write for!
you had it comin’
tw: daddy kink / reader is called a brat a lot / gojo ruins an orgasm / ——————————————————————————————————
“y’like it satoru? really?”
gojo looks at you like he’s got stars in his eyes. the second he even sees your pretty frame he was done for.
he had just come in from an entirely too long stressful day of work, the only thing on his mind was you. and of course, like you read his mind, you had a pretty surprise for him
you’re cutely giggling by the time he finally walks over to you, quickly shuffling himself so he sitting on the king size bed and your straddling his long legs.
with a bright smile on his face he demands, “gimme a spin beautiful,” and you happily get up. raising to your tip tip toes and giving him a short yet thorough spin. you’re in a short, pretty, baby blue lingerie set, and paired with the cute little matching bows you topped, he thinks you want him to explode.
when it comes to your husband, it doesn’t take much to get plenty praise from him. in his eyes your perfect. shit, it’s gotten to the point where you wake up in the morning already expecting praise just for opening your pretty eyes.
of course that has its ups and downs though. i mean you’ve always been really, ‘taking cared of’ as you call it, though satoru calls it spoiled. getting everything you’ve wanted since the day you were born without so much as a rebuttal plus satoru’s constant yes’ didn’t do well for you at all. before you were only spoiled, now you’re a full on brat. you never hear the word no out of anyone’s mouth anymore, and when you do, who cares? you know your husbands going to make it happen for you.
gojo cuffs both hands under your ass and grins handsomely.
“look what you do to me, baby.” he looks down at the hard-on in his dress pants, and your eyes follow, practically drooling at the sight.
you feel like your going crazy the longer you look at it, you need it. it’s not like you haven’t had it or anything, you’re fucking yourself on your husbands dick practically every night. which is why your confused when satoru doesn’t make his move like usual. and you’re even more confused when he shoves your hand away from touching him.
your lips curl back when you pout, “satoru…why can’t i—”
“what you think you deserve it all of the sudden?” he takes a deep breath and tries to put on his stern voice. “you really think weeks worth of being a spoiled brat is gonna erase from this, sweetheart?”
yes. most definitely. even satoru knows it can, but he’s realized going easy on you doesn’t get him anywhere. he can’t help it though, you’re as cute as can be. how’s he supposed to just say no to his pretty wife when she’s looking up at him with those perfect doe eyes, those wispy lashes he just adores on her? that big pouty lip and the puffed out cheeks when you start to throw a fit? exactly he can’t. although he figures he’ll at least give it a shot, just to say he tried.
“but—” of course he sees ‘em before they come. those big fat crocodile tears you force out whenever you’re not getting what you want on your timing. “i have been a good girl…! you just don’t even love me—” you go to wipe at your eyes and whine. usually they work, but this time satoru’s putting his foot down.
“nu-uh, no— baby c’mon, we’re not doing this tonight, ok?” he says the kind words though an antagonizing smile shows on his face, which he tries to hide.
he pulls you back on his lap and rubs circles on your back. he speaks to you in a delicate tone when you’ve finally calmed down he speaks to you in a subtle tone.
“what’s been going on, huh?” he fakes a pout. “what’s up with my sweet girl? i just can’t say no to anything these days, just throw a fit.”
your eyebrows are raised when you curl your head into his shoulder like a cat, trying to get on his good side. “m’sorry toru.” you sniffle out a whiney, “i jus’ miss you so much.” when you puff your chest out and start to slowly move your hips against him, you think your older husband starts to listen.
“i know you do pretty girl, but you can’t just—”
“please daddy…can i make it better?” when you say it like that all satoru can look at is your plush tits in that pretty set you’ve got on. all he can pay attention to is your full hips slowly circling his cock.
out the window is his stern attitude when you lay him down and take his clothes off one by one. out the window is you being a spoiled brat the last few weeks. all your husband can think about now is the way you let yourself sink on top of his leaking cock. he thinks all can be forgiven.
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“hah—” you’re still whining as you bounce on his cock, wanting to hear his praise. “m’doin g….good, daddy?” your pussy still dripping from the last load satoru gave you, sucking everything he’s got.
satoru slaps your ass and pants against your tits, mumbling incoherently to himself. he looks up at you bouncing on your tip toes and he feels like he’s gonna faint. he’s never seen something so beautiful, sure of it.
“mygosh, baby…” he tries to grab on to something—your hips, the bed, anything to keep him stable. “can’t keep doing this, ok? n…next time m’putting my foot done.”
yeah, yeah. you give him a cutely whined, ‘k, daddy’ and keep yourself going, trying your best to fuck him good like he does you. your trying your best and your husband knows it. and it’s almost like he reads your mind, because the second you feel your legs grow aches and tired of riding, he flips you onto the edge of the bed.
satoru leans down to fuck his tounge into your mouth when he starts to hear you whine about how its, ‘too much,’ all the sudden. he just can’t get a fucking break from your shit, can he? when he’s not fucking you its, ‘you don’t love me,’ but when he is you can’t take it?fuck that. he feels himself taking deeper stroke when you complain. fucks you harder and harder. you try to push at his lower tummy but he won’t let up—just grabs both of your hands with one of his and holds them above your head.
when your pussy starts to squirt out more of her mess he knows you’re starting to get overstimulated, but he just can’t seem to get himself to care. when you get too fussy all he does is stuff two of his fat fingers in your mouth.
“yeah,” he looks down to see the mix of slick and sweat pooling at the base of his cock every time he pulls away from you. “pussy feels even better when it’s not a fucking brat in my ear.”
drool pools around your mouth when you go to say something. satorus positive it’s something along the lines of, “m’not a brat!” he’s just glad he doesn’t have to hear it.
your clit pulses against his moving fingers and he can tell your there, just a few more strokes and you’d be making another mess.
“you wanna cum, baby?” satoru watches you hurriedly nod and his eyebrows raise, ready to play. he keeps fucking you deeper and deeper and you swear your feel your pussy gradually molding just for his dick.
his cock getting messier by the second, white ring showing every time he pulls in and out of your pussy. as soon as satoru sees your eyes start to roll back, and feels that little pussy let go. he pulls right out.
the whine that escapes from your lips is beyond satisfying, he can barely hold his smile. “wha— ‘toru!!” your little fingers fly to your clit, trying to at least ease some of the dissatisfaction. you rub your middle and ring finger in circles on your little clit messily, not nearly doing it as fulfilling as your husband. when your twitchy pussy does nothing but ache you cry out.
your eyes are weeping when you look to see your husband already pulling his briefs up and laughing at you. “don’t look at me like that baby.” he looks down at your pretty pussy still leaking with his and your cum and licks his lips, “you had it coming’.
#gojo satoru#gojo satoru smut#gojo smut#jjk smut#husband gojo#brat reader#jujustsu kaisen smut#gojo x reader#satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader
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like a french girl 🎨
part 1 - paint me | part 2 | art major ellie x dance major reader | ellie photo
ao3 link
summary: ellie had been struggling with finding the perfect model for her art final. that was until she saw you.
18+ MDNI | 2.2k words | tags; college au, pining, only a little explicit, no use of y/n, not proofread
disclaimer: not an art or dance major, don't shoot!
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Scribble, scratch, throw. This has been Ellie’s routine since she moved onto campus.
Why? Her professor told her that she draws the human body like it’s lifeless. Ranting about how they’re too one-dimensional and have no depth, her lines are too sharp or not sharp enough; flat and boring in looks and in feeling.
Now listen, Ellie has nothing against criticism. She respects her professor and she’s aware that her drawings lack “vitality”. It’s been something she’s struggled with for a while now, an effect of some recent events and overall adjusting to college life.
Ellie isn’t unable to grasp the anatomy of the body, in fact it’s the opposite. She knows the human body is complex and needs thorough observation. The way the sun hits the skin, the hairs on a knuckle, the creases of a smile. Wide, small, big, tall; no two bodies are exactly the same.
Really, the imagery is so clear to her, but she finds it impossible to transfer the life and motion of the body onto a piece of paper without truly understanding the person. The way she sees it, every body has a story, and in order to make a good piece she needs to know that story.
Since art school is filled to the brim with inspiring, exciting, and vibrant people, she has, of course, tried to talk with them. She attempted to get to know the models, ask them general questions and hope something clicks. Unfortunately, that has yet to happen. She can’t really ask her friends either without it getting awkward. Imagine, “ Oh, hey guys! Can you guys get naked and pose in one spot for my homework?” Hear how weird that sounds? Even though she’s sure Jesse would definitely be down, she values her eyes.
Any “muse” she could possibly ever want was right in front of her, so why was it really impossible for her to find one?
Well, because Ellie didn’t find anyone interesting enough. She’s not shallow or anything, it has nothing to do with how the model looked, Ellie has had several good-looking models. It was more about how she perceived them. It’s just that she hasn’t seen a model that made her ask questions like: “ How’d they get that scar?” “ What does that tattoo mean?” Stuff like that.
The last interesting model she had was probably a fucking homeless guy she shared a blunt with outside a gas station many moons ago. Till this day, he might be one of her best pieces. There’s not a lot of moments like that here.
Nonetheless, Ellie saw this developing– extremely lame— personal requirement of hers annoying as shit. It’s holding her back big time, but she couldn’t help it even if she really wanted to.
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It’s practically useless to keep trying. The tiny voice in Ellie's head presses her to keep going, keep failing, but enough is enough. She is seriously burnt out and any more of this might kill her. The only thing that could help right now is a meaty slice of pizza and a blunt as soon as she thought of it.
Ellie clears out her desk, knocking the stack of crumpled paper into a conveniently placed trash can; a placement made from her constant trials and errors. She pushes up, and stretches widely, obnoxiously groaning like an old man by the end of it. She quickly tidied herself up, tying up half of her hair into a ponytail and throwing on a dark-green flannel shirt she had to sniff before wearing over her plain white tee. She takes a quick look into her floor-length mirror, making sure she looks presentable before grabbing what she needs to head out.
Just as her hand reached for the silver knob, Ellie felt this overwhelming urge to look back. God, she knows what she is going to look back at, but she really hopes she doesn’t. Unfortunately, her eyes land on her sketchbook, laid flat on the desk underneath a lamp’s warm light. She shouldn’t.
She needs a break. She knows she needs a break, but there is a twinge of hope, faith, lodged somewhere inside her. The same faith that’s kept her from dropping out every day for the past four months. Ellie groans as she drags her feet to her desk where she whisks up the brown book and shoves it in her tote bag with an accompanying pencil. She swivels back to the door and strolls out, silently praying her mood improves in the next hour.
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The cafeteria was surprisingly crowded, but Ellie managed to get her pizza without saying ‘fuck it’ to the line. Still, the thought of eating between this buzzing mess when she was in such a shitty mood turned her off. Thankfully, she knew that everyone would be everywhere but the upstairs balcony, especially during this chilly time of year. No sane person would eat out there, and she’s not particularly sane. Ellie saunters off to the balcony and sits herself at a small table facing the view.
It only took a glance around before she came to the realization that the view is not really a view. There’s only a dorm a few feet away, directly across. It’s a large brick-laid, generic building with wide windows. If it weren’t for the blinds, the view into a room would probably be good enough to read a label on something. Ellie’s freckled face grimaces at the thought, imagining what it’d be like if someone watched her rage as she messed up her homework over and over from this distance. Despite that, she thought it’d probably be a pretty good spot to live in. It’s close to the cafeteria and probably a lot bigger than her 1x1 dorm.
With a twinge of curiosity piquing her mind, Ellie glimpses over the windows, and for the most part, they are all closed.
All closed, but yours.
Yours doesn’t even have blinds. You’re on the 3rd floor and almost completely unobscured in a black camisole, sitting on your questionably roomy windowsill with a leg perched up. Ellie can see the fairy lights strung up in your bedroom, and a line of succulents closer to the window; ordered by size, which she briefly thought was cute.
You aren’t facing the window, so she can only see your back. What she could see, though, is you doing your hair, occasionally swaying to what she can only imagine is music. Your room is high, but low enough for her to identify you if she had the pleasure of knowing you. Knowing you, reverberates in her head. Does she know you? Has she met you before? Amongst that babble, there is one more question she is slowly trying to gather an answer to.
Time passes, most definitely shorter than Ellie would have thought passed. Her eyes have been glued on you the whole time, she even forgot about her, now freezing cold, pizza just so she could gawk at you. She still hasn’t seen your face yet, barely even a glimpse, but she already thinks you are stupidly beautiful just by the way you move.
From the graciousness of your movements alone, she thought there was no way in hell you didn’t know she was watching. At some point, your arms got tired, so you smoothly rolled your aching shoulders back; stretching into an arched, effortlessly perfect posture. Ellie’s eyes traced that slight curve of your back as if you’d disappear if she broke off from you.
There is no way it gets better from that, is what she thinks to herself, only to be shut up immediately after when she sees that perfectness of your back stay as you bend over and shift onto both knees to grab something far away, bringing your shorts in view. So short— so tight , they could easily be mistaken for panties.
It was unexpected to say the least, Ellie could feel her face heating up and had to look around her to see if anyone else could see what she was seeing right now. Ellie wondered about the practicality of those shorts, wondered what exactly they were supposed to cover, leering at the plush of your ass peeking out. She thoughtlessly lets her jaw drop before muttering out a low, impressed, and barely over a whisper, “Well, fuck.”
You must’ve noticed your shorts riding up, since you quickly pulled them down after you grabbed what you wanted. Ellie clears her throat, internally scolding herself for being so gross— so perverted. Her brows furrow in embarrassment from all the dirty thoughts she brewed up in that moment. But for some reason, she still doesn’t look away. Well, there’s a list of reasons for her to look away, but she feels like ignoring it.
Then a cold gust of wind bites past her face, clearly a sign from the universe that she should snap out of it, and snap out of it she does.
What the hell happened to her? What is it about you that she keeps leaning into? Suddenly something clicks in her brain. After months of creative agony, something finally clicked. She has sat here completely fascinated by you and she couldn’t tell sooner?
In all honesty, to say she is just “interested” in you would be an understatement. Yeah, now she thinks you’re the perfect model for her final, but she wants to know you beyond just the drawing. A plus is that you just happened to be hot, and Ellie has never been attracted to a subject before, so the whole thing was new and exciting to her. Just the thought of drawing you made her remember why she loved art so much. Ellie reaches for her tote bag sitting in an empty seat beside her, pulling out her sketchbook with more enthusiasm than she probably ever has. She sets the book down, opening up a blank page with one hand and tightening her grip on her pencil in the other.
She looks back up at your window, ready to sketch your life onto paper and.. Shit. You’re looking back.
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Today has been a good day for you, your teacher chose you to teach the choreo you’ve been working on for weeks to your classmates. It was an obvious ego booster for you. You felt good and you wanted to look good too, even if you weren’t going out anywhere. It was just one of those nights. You wanted to experiment with your hair, thinking maybe you’ll do something new before your next practice. Dye it, cut it.. something.
It’s been a while since you started, and after several wrist and shoulder cramps, you were finally finished. You take a look into your hand mirror, peering at your reflection. You’re satisfied now, looking exactly how you’re feeling if you minus the dingy sleep clothes you’re in.
♫ My heart, I never be, I never see, I never know. ♫
Grimes? Really? You pout, upset that your playlist didn’t magically read your mood. What you need is real 2000’s hot girl music. Britney Spears, Nelly Furtado, or Beyoncé for crying out loud.
“Alexa, skip!” You shout across the room, just loud enough for the device to hear.
The stupid thing doesn’t even light up, so you call out a few more times but to no avail. Isn’t the whole point of that thing to be voice automated? You sigh and look around for your phone, and seeing it’s nowhere in front of you, you figure it’s behind. You twist your torso to find your phone behind you and luckily you do. As you pick it up, you casually glance out the window without any expectations.
Did you see a figure in the blur as you looked away? You question your eyes, but you decide to take another look and just find out for yourself.
You peer back down and your eyes meet with someone else’s. The sudden eye contact between you and this woman instantly mortified you. Your heart sunk, and all you could do was raise your brows stupidly. She was surprised too, even in the dim light you could see her shocked expression boring back at you. Not only that, it went on for way longer than it should have. Any normal person would’ve looked away, but her eyes lingered on you before she hastily turned away.
You’ve been sitting here, dressing up your hair, listening to your music without a care in the world. Far too absorbed in yourself to realize there’s someone outside your window. You slide off your windowsill and out of sight. Just as your bottom finally hits the wood floor, you feel the coldness of it against your skin and you’re immediately conscious of the fact that your ass was literally out at some point.
The poor girl was trying to eat her food and you were bending over in front of your window like a harlot. It certainly didn’t help that she looked kinda hot. Did she? You peeked over your windowsill, hoping to get another look to really assess her hotness, but she was already gone. Whatever, maybe she didn’t see? But she looked embarrassed… embarrassed for you probably!
You hide your face in your hands and topple to the side, letting out a fake sob. Oh, god. You can already imagine Dina’s face when you tell her. You couldn’t help but burst out laughing at that thought. That was humiliating as shit, but it’s whatever. It’s not like you’ll see her again.
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side note: if you have any tropes you'd like to see w/ this universe pls do drop an ask 🤭
click 4 more!
#ellie williams#ellie x reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie the last of us#tlou2#ellie williams x reader#the last of us part 2#ellie williams x female reader#ellie x you#ellie x y/n#lesbian#ᝰ like a french girl
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General and Relationship Headcanons
Mostly just me rambling about Valeria because she’s all I think about all day everyday <3
This is pretty unstructured
Valeria Garza was a mean girl in high school. She wasn’t popular by any means, she was just really mean and aggressive. She had a habit of getting into physical fights. She’d swing on anybody, boy or girl.
She’s a raging lesbian. (I don’t make the rules.) She probably hasn’t had many girlfriends though because Las Almas has a smaller, more traditional population. During her military days I can definitely see her hooking up with at least one of the other women in her unit, fraternization be damned. It ended when the woman didn’t want anything serious.
She had no romantic or sexual relations with Alejandro. I refuse to entertain the idea at all for my own sake.
I like to think she’s 5’6 to 5’7 and around 135lbs. Perhaps 140lbs. Shes around the same age as Alejandro and Rudy. You have to have around 22 years of experience to become a colonel, which Alejandro is, so that sets them around their late thirties to forties. I think Valeria sits at 38.
She has a short temper and not much patience. Especially with the men who work for her. (And men in general.) She feels pressured to make them afraid of her because since she’s a woman she knows they don’t respect her as much as they would a man. She’s not afraid to stab people in the back and she believes everyone is like that. Loyalty can be bought by the highest bidder so she’s always prepared for a betrayal.
The general public don’t know that she’s El Sin Nombre, and most of her own cartel are unaware as well. Only three or four get the privilege of knowing and even then she doesn’t trust them completely.
The cartel wasn’t as influential before she took it over. La Araña liked to do business under the table and out of sight if he could. Because of that, it was smaller. Still making bank but not as much as it could in Valeria’s opinion. She saw an opportunity to line her own pockets and make Las Almas just a little stronger. She used bribery, violence, and fear to her advantage. Killing and displaying anyone who got in her way and building important building to gain public support. All while hiding behind the Sicaria title.
She grew up poorer than the other children. Money is one of her biggest motivators. She was always envious of the other kids who got to go on trips or get new things often. She felt she was dealt a bad hand in life and it turned her bitter. Because she didn’t grow up with a lot of money I think she has spending guilt. She’ll splurge sometimes but she doesn’t own five fancy cars and a huge house. She probably has a smaller private property somewhere and conducts her business at Diego’s villa.
She’s an attractive woman, and she knows it. She’ll still put on a little makeup though. She’ll touch up her brows and put on mascara. She has no one to impress but she knows she’ll be taken more seriously if she’s perceived as attractive.
Valeria doesn’t do flings. Shes not some hopeless romantic, she doesn’t date around hoping to find the one. But, if she’s going to make herself vulnerable to another human being, physically or emotionally then she isn’t going to do it for someone who’s not going to appreciate it. The payoff needs to be worth the price. She learned her lesson.
She’s not the type to be soft and sweet in a relationship. She has her moments of course, but I can’t see her constantly calling you pet names and clinging to you. Her love language is acts of service. She’ll cook you food, bring you something to drink if you mention being thirsty, simple things she can do to make your life a little more convenient. If her you happen to be someone in her cartel she’ll show she cares by keeping a closer eye on you.
One of the men keeps making you uncomfortable? She’ll make sure you don’t have to interact with him. She’ll give you safer tasks and pay you a little more than the others. She might try to convince you to just quit all together. You’d be safer and happier tending to the home, she’s sure. She also just wants you to be financially dependent on her to make it harder to leave. Not that you’d want to. Shes a great girlfriend.
Just not during fights. She loves you but she has a nasty habit of blowing up at you. She’ll say things she knows will hurt you. There’s also the fact that she works a lot. She puts a lot of her time into the cartel. In keeping it going. You might feel lonely and neglected while with her.
She does love you. Even if she calls you replaceable she doesn’t mean it. If you get fed up and try to leave she’ll pull out the crocodile tears. It’s undignified, but she’s convincing enough with her promises to change and her woe-is-me act that you’d feel too guilty to leave.
If that doesn’t work she’ll turn to the only other thing she knows, threats of violence.
She also has jealously issues. She is territorial. She doesn’t make it obvious but she’s jealous of your friends. She doesn’t like your male friends even if you’re a lesbian yourself, and she views your female friends as potential competition regardless of their sexual orientation.
She won’t whine about it, but if you spend too much time with your friends she’ll take it out on you without telling you why. She’ll be snappy, give you the cold shoulder. Which ultimately leads into another fight. She doesn’t understand why you need friends. She doesn’t have friends and she’s fine.
She’ll make it up to you by buying you gifts. She’s not one to spend frivolously but she’ll drop a pretty penny on something if she thinks it will make you forgive her. You mentioned an article of clothing in a passing conversation five weeks ago? Well Valeria remembered and now it’s carefully folded up on the bed waiting for you. She sees a piece of jewellery that she knows you’ll like? It’s yours, but only if you forgive her.
Her favourite colour is pink. Her bedsheets are pink. Her nails are canonically pink. I don’t make the rules, her favourite colour is pink.
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CAN’T THINK STRAIGHT
carl grimes x fem!reader
(you were chosen at terminus.)
tags: angst to comfort, themes pertaining to terminus.
masterlist here!
You were absolutely terrified when you were pulled from the large container that you were held in at Terminus. You remember Carl grasping at your hand, trying to keep them from taking you but he couldn’t hold on tight enough. Once you were gone he started to blame himself. He immediately felt that your life was at stake and it was his fault.
You were in and out of consciousness while you were dragged away from your family. All that ran through your head is that you weren’t able to properly say goodbye to anyone, you believed you were the only one being taken but soon you realized you weren’t. You were able to take in everything once you were in a larger room, a room where you heard a loud blade, so loud that you realized you hadn’t heard a noise like that in a while.
You look up to be met with a terrifying image that would most likely be engraved in your brain for a while. You were scared it would be you soon. You were thinking, there needed to be some way out, you were always able to escape. You were thrown next to Rick, once settling onto your knees you look down the row to see Daryl and Glenn as well, along with another group of four people who you didn’t know.
Once Rick took it all in, realizing that you’d be sitting right next to him, he panicked. He’d do anything in his power for you not to be there, after all you were incredibly important to him and Carl. You were family. The next few moments were taunting and torturous. There were things you would definitely not forget.
You were able to escape death, maybe for the tenth time in your life. You couldn’t think, you just took orders from Rick or went into the direction he shoved you into run. You didn’t even really react when reuniting with Carl either. You just let him tackle you into a hug, and you can’t quite reciprocate it, instead you just freeze until he feels you not responding and he pulls away.
From then on you can’t quite open up. Carl hated every second of it. He wasn’t sure what to do, you practically shut him out completely. Michonne noticed his frustration. At some point she caught him just staring at you after it all while you were out on the road the day after Terminus. You were sitting on a log by the fire and he stood next to a tree and just watched you.
You kept your head down, sort of drawing shapes into the dirt beneath your feet quietly. That was until Abraham dropped a log into the fire, causing a loud noise which you couldn’t help but flinch at. Everyone noticed, the yelp that came from your mouth as you shielded your head. Just the noise coming from the fire’s flames growing louder filled the silence before Abraham spoke.
“Sorry, little one…didn’t mean to startle ya.” He says apologetically, his tone was quiet, he seemed sincere and concerned. You shake your head, telling him it’s fine and to move on. Meanwhile with Carl watching you, he noticed how startled you gotten and he just wanted to help you. He was going to walk over to you before Michonne stopped him. “Don’t. Not right now.” She tells him, leading him to be frustrated. “She’s seen a lot. I’m not exactly sure what, it’ll be a while before she truly opens up but…give her some time.”
So he does, he gives you a couple days but you start to warm up to everyone again once all the remaining people from Terminus were killed at the church. You felt somewhat relieved. Like they couldn’t hurt you anymore. Even though they never did and never could. You started talking to Carl more often which made him ecstatic. Except you avoided any topics toward Terminus. You put up a front, you didn’t want to think of it so you acted like it didn’t happen.
He understood but he wanted nothing more than for you to open up to him. He’s so in love with you, he just wants to help but he can’t if you just act like nothing happened.
That was all until after losing Beth and Tyreese. That’s what set you off. You wandered far into the forest while you guys stopped for some food and water, little did you know Carl was following behind. You walked quite far, cleared any of the walkers on the way before you slumped down against a tree trunk. Not long after, Carl approached. You expected him to be there, he’s sort of been lingering.
He walks over and sits next to you, his eyes focused on you the entire time. You stay silent until he speaks up, bringing your attention from the floor beneath you to him. “You know I love you…right?” He tells you. “I really do. I want you to talk to me. I wanna help you.” He continues. You just look at him, your eyes sort of pleading like you want to tell him but you can’t. “I just…I want you to open up.”
Your pleading eyes start to fill with tears. You wanted to ignore everything that happened at Terminus but with the past weeks you’ve realized holding it in only makes it worse.
“It was horrible, like really terrifying. They were sawing a man apart in front of us…they were gonna drain all our blood. Almost killed Glenn if it wasn’t for Carol.” At this point, tears were falling from your face and he was wiping every single one away for you. He looked at you so intently. “Gareth waved a knife in front of my face…he was gonna take my eye out if your dad didn’t cooperate.” You mutter. He feels horrible for you, he has no idea what he could do for you besides comforting you. He didn’t realize how bad Terminus truly was. “I just…I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel like I can’t think straight.”
He leaned forward to place a kiss on your forehead which lead to him pulling you into him for a hug. He rests his chin atop your forehead while you hug him tightly. Every time you squeeze him, he squeezes back.
“I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. I mean it.”
a/n: maxine how dare you request this ITS SO PAINFUL!!!!! AGHHH!!!!! I’m jk this was sooooo rjgsjfbdjdjff sobbing pissing and shitting my pants i love it even though it’s so upsetting AHHHH
tag list: @zomb-1-egutzz @lunarnightt @ilikestrawberriesandwomen @hiro--aoki @h00d-tr4sh @callsignwidow
#carl grimes#twd#the walking dead#carl grimes twd#carl grimes fanfiction#carl grimes x reader#carl grimes fluff#carl grimes x fem!reader#carl grimes x y/n#carl grimes the walking dead#the walking dead carl#carl grimes smut#carl grimes angst#twd carl#twd fanfiction#twd angst
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This last post really made me think about how Hybern attacks places, and it’s honestly wild to me that some people still act like Feyre is this untouchable saintess when there’s so much blood on her hands. I mean, we’re talking about what happens during Hybern’s invasions—actual horrors. It’s not just some battles between armies; it’s full-on carnage and destruction. The soldiers aren’t just killing—they’re raping women, torturing people, and completely dismantling the lives of anyone they come across. And what’s even worse? Hybern lets all this happen. He’s fully aware of the atrocities his soldiers commit, and he does nothing to stop it because it’s all part of his plan to break the courts and take control.
Let’s not forget that when Feyre is in the middle of everything, she isn’t taking the time to think about the bigger picture. The fact that people in these towns and villages are being tortured and raped while she’s trying to make everything about her own personal trauma? The hypocrisy is real. She has no problem condemning the Spring Court and everyone else when it’s convenient for her, but when it comes to Hybern, the actual villain causing this destruction, she just seems to think it’s all a side effect of her being “chosen.” It’s as if she has this weird shield that makes her blameless in the face of these horrors.
We all know Hybern’s army doesn’t just kill in battle—they’re taught to make the suffering last. They terrorize entire towns. Men, women, children, it doesn’t matter. They burn homes, enslave the survivors, and like I said before, rape women. There’s no justice for these people. They’re just collateral damage in the war Hybern is waging. The fact that Feyre—who’s supposed to be a “hero”—is so close to this horror, yet still takes no responsibility for her role in all of it, is staggering. She’s not some innocent bystander—she’s one of the key players in this mess.
But Hybern’s army isn’t just mindless savages—they’re systematically destroying entire cultures, and Feyre’s part in that destruction? She just shrugs it off. Her desire for Rhysand and to “get back” at Tamlin always seems to take priority over seeing the actual suffering happening in these territories. And yet people still hold her up as a saint, as though she’s doing everything out of the kindness of her heart. Sorry, but no. She’s complicit in the suffering of thousands, and it’s sickening that some fans can overlook this.
Feyre, in her blind rush to make herself the center of everything, loses sight of what’s really going on around her, and it’s not just about her or her family—it’s about the people whose lives are literally shattered because of this war. And for what? To make sure she can “prove herself” to the Night Court? It’s twisted when you look at the full scope of the war Hybern is waging, and yet somehow Feyre gets this get-out-of-jail-free card when it comes to acknowledging the true depth of the violence and destruction.
In the end, I’m just saying: If people are going to keep acting like Feyre is this pure, untouchable figure, they need to really think about what happens in the world of Prythian when Hybern attacks. And more importantly, they need to take a hard look at Feyre and her role in this mess. She’s no innocent bystander—she’s knee-deep in it.
I’m not blaming Feyre for the entire destruction, but let’s be real—she’s definitely one of the major reasons why everything that happened to the Spring Court went down the way it did. The attack on the Spring Court, the devastation, the deaths—it didn’t just happen in a vacuum. Yes, Hybern was the mastermind behind the invasion, but Feyre’s choices, her actions, and the decisions she made set so much of this in motion.
Tamlin was trying, even if he was a mess. But Feyre’s actions took the Spring Court’s defenses away, and left them exposed to the very real dangers of the invasion that followed. I’m not saying she’s solely to blame for the war or the horrors that followed—but let’s not ignore the fact that her choices were a huge catalyst. If we’re talking about accountability, she needs to realize that part of the destruction was because of her, even if she didn’t intend for it to go that way.
#anti acosf#anti acotar#anti feysand#anti inner circle#anti rhysand#nesta archeron deserves better#pro nesta#anti azriel#anti amren#anti cassian#anti nessian#anti morrigan#anti night court#anti feyre
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There’s been multiple characters in Bungou Stray Dogs that have been called “angel.”
Shibusawa called Atsushi the “angel that will save me.” Yosano was called the Angel of Death. Mushitaro called himself the Angel of Murder.
Ango is the angel Dazai refers to when he tells Sigma an angel is how he’s able to reach the outside world.
And while not referred to directly in Stormbringer Chuuya’s corrupted form resembles that of an angel.
Fukuchi (chapter 90) tells Tachihara that he is an angel but Tachihara is not. And explains what it means to be an angel.
“Now who are the angels? Those who don’t dirty their own hands, who don’t bear the filth. And send their inferior humans to the battlefield.
Those who, bearing no responsibility, crave nothing but the honour, riches and pleasures. They hold the reins of the people. Heavenly beings that’s others hands cannot reach.”
Fukuchi’s correct Tachihara doesn’t fit this criteria of being an angel. But neither do any of the characters I’ve listed.
Atsushi is the one who gets sent into battle. He does not control anyone and sees those others view as inferior, as people who need help.
And any time something goes wrong Atsushi blames himself for it.
Yosano sent soldiers to there deaths during the war, absolutely. But the second she realised the true weight of her actions she tried to stop it.
It was out of her control and Yosano still shoulders responsibility for it.
Chuuya has been on the front lines since he joined the Sheep. He enjoys the thrill of the fight sure but his fights are usually in service to protecting his family. Be it the Sheep or the Port Mafia.
Chuuya’s always been placed on a pedestal but he never put himself on one. And on multiple occasions Chuuya’s chosen to protect even if it could cost him everything.
Mushitaro tried to convince himself it was all for his own pleasure and amusement. But he only dirtied his hands for an old friend who’s long gone.
Same with Ango who dirtied his hands for Dazai. He took responsibility for the Dragons Head incident. And even with everything at stake Ango cautioned Chuuya against using corruption.
Even Fukuchi himself doesn’t truly fit this description.
Fukuchi’s dirtied his hands sure but happily uses others to do it for him. He tried to convince Akutagawa to kill Atsushi because he didn’t want the blood of more children on his hands.
The fact Fukuchi uses the vampires to begin show he has a hold on others. Along with his reputation that really carried things for him. His motive is peace sure but he’s already decided how many deserve to die for it.
Much like the politicians he’s criticising in the statement above. But I guess it’s fine when he chooses who deserves to live or die.
The only other person I can think of who fits this criteria the closest is Fyodor. Makes sense considering he’s probably the one who spoon fed the motto to Fukuchi to begin with.
But it is interesting considering Fyodor has only ever been referred to by others as a demon. Though he himself probably thinks of himself as an angel. One that will purge this world of abilities, of sin.
Despite possessing one himself.
Fyodor can dirty his hands but like Fukuchi prefers to use people to fight for him. He doesn’t see anyone as his equal not even Dazai. And he manipulates and brainwashes his way into controlling others.
It makes sense that in Fyodor’s eyes he is an angel. Though there is one thing Fukuchi mentions that the rest possess more than he does.
And that’s to be an angel means to suffer.
Fukuchi definitely suffered from war. But he says his experience with torture is from the torturers side. He has not suffered for his own mission of peace.
He’s never lost anything he didn’t plan to lose. Prior to Fyodor showing up Fukuchi was dying exactly how he wanted too.
Ango’s suffered. Mushitaro’s suffered. Chuuya’s suffered. Yosano’s suffered. Atsushi is suffering. Fyodor literally wouldn’t have gotten to this point if he hadn’t suffered.
Fukuchi by his own criteria is an angel and yet it puts him even closer to the demon himself. Rather fitting for a man who thought his quest to end a war with a war would make him a hero.
#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bsd chuuya#bsd atsushi#bsd fukuchi#bsd fyodor#bsd ango#bsd mushitaro#bsd yosano#bsd manga spoilers#bsd spoilers#atsushi nakajima#ango sakaguchi#yosano akiko#mushitaro oguri#chuuya nakahara#fukuchi ouchi#bsd fyodor dostoevsky
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“Hmm.”
The one-armed Kuranta standing beside him in the rocky mountainside slants a sideways glance towards him. “Is that all you have to say? Just ‘hmm?’”
Dario shrugs. “Well, what else did you expect me to say?”
He can’t say that he’s surprised that Salome refused to eat Eligius. It had been a bit of a shot in the dark to begin with, anyways; they couldn’t say for sure if Salome was truly rotting away due to her Necrotic inheritance, and… they weren’t really sure about Salome’s dietary habits, either. Dario didn’t know much about Nachzehrers, and he had no idea if they were obligatory cannibals or if their bodies literally starved without blood and flesh to sate their hunger.
Their young leader had no qualms about killing people who broke the rules that she laid down in Arkos, but Dario doesn’t think he’s ever seen her eat any of them. Nor have any residents of Arkos ever gone mysteriously missing overnight, so it’s probably safe to say that Salome isn’t making anyone into a midnight snack.
Dario has no idea how this impacts her, though. Salome certainly doesn’t look like she’s starving, but the blackened hands… are they a sign of starvation, or merely cosmetic? Will there be any negative effects if a half-Nachzehrer child does not follow the traditional Nachzehrer diet?
Even Salome doesn’t know the answer. How could she, when she was orphaned at a young age and had no family to turn to?
… In hindsight, living habits and other necessities for Nachzehrers is something that they probably should’ve asked their unexpected Nachzehrer visitors before they left. But no one had thought to do so at the time. They’d all been far too wary of the Nachzehrers to even entertain the thought. And from the way that some of those Nachzehrers had reacted… well, Dario wouldn’t have been surprised if they’d attempted to kidnap Salome from Arkos.
Not that it was very likely that they would’ve succeeded. After all, Salome was strong. There’s a reason why she’s the undisputed leader of Arkos despite her young age, and it has nothing to do with the fact that she was the sole original resident here.
… In fact, it’s because Salome lived here that a settlement even started growing in the first place, despite the treacherous terrain.
Dario can’t say that he understands the decision to live by oneself in the middle of nowhere. In Siracusa, the famiglia means everything, and Dario had grown up surrounded by people.
He likes talking to and interacting with other people. Poking and prodding them, and seeing what makes them tick.
Salome is hard to read. Dario has been here for nearly half a year already, and he still doesn’t have a good read on their young leader. But if she had been born a donna in one of the famiglias back in Siracusa… heh, the balance of power would definitely see some major upheaval with her on the stage.
But the power struggles between the famiglias back in Siracusa have nothing to do with Dario now. He’s a lone wolf now, and none of that has anything to do with him anymore.
Right now, Dario is just a simple resident of Arkos, whose greatest troubles are worrying what to do about his leader’s possibly-cannibalistic dietary needs… and farming.
Dario lifts the shovel in his hands, and shoves it into the hardened earth. There’s a harsh clang; the sound of steel striking stone.
“… Maybe we should try turning the earth somewhere else,” Eligius says. “Salome said to let her know once we’ve figured out how to grow potatoes… Do you think Nachzehrers need to eat potatoes?”
Dario rolls his eyes, “Oh, I’m sure they do.”
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What if Desmond was reborn as Shay’s son and the same age as Connor
We have this idea where Desmond is reborn as Shay’s son but, in that one, we made Desmond the same age as Arno for that sweet, sweet angst.
For this one, we need to talk about the timeline for a bit.
Ratonhnhaké:ton is born in 1756 and Shay put his lot with the Templars the same year.
This means Desmond has to be conceived in 1755 before Shay leaves for Lisbon. Specifically: Desmond must be conceived months before November 1 1755. (If you want, we can put it his birth date as March 13 then Desmond would have to be considered around June 1755)
He returns to the homestead late 1755 to early 1756 and there was a lot of snow during the cutscenes during that time so we can say Winter Months (December ~ February)
Why is this important?
Because we have a prime ‘candidate’ for Desmond’s mother:
Hope Jensen.
Hope would definitely hide the fact that she’s pregnant and would never say that Shay was the father.
Perhaps it was simply a night of passion that they never talked about.
Maybe there was a sliver of ‘something more’ but it was postponed when Shay sailed to Lisbon.
Regardless, Hope would still join the hunt for Shay and she would watch as he ‘dies’ after failing to persuade him into returning the manuscript (maybe even hint on her current ‘situation’)
After that, she would never tell anyone who the father of her son was.
Desmond would be born in one of her gang’s hideout.
He would stay with her while she worked for the Brotherhood and he would know she’s an Assassin early on. Her gang would serve as both his bodyguards and his nannies when she’s away.
He would be 1 year and 8 months old when his mother died while he was taken away by her most trusted gang members, running away when she noticed Shay spying on them while she was talking to Liam. Desmond was nearby and was taken away while Hope slowly filled the warehouse with poisonous gas.
Desmond would then watch the fall of the Brotherhood and his mother’s gang as Shay hunted them down.
By the time Desmond is four years old, the only living gang members that he knows of are the ones who took care of him.
To him, Shay Cormac is the man who betrayed the Brotherhood and joined the Templars to hunt them all down.
The man who killed Desmond’s mother.
And now we have the setup for Desmond’s revenge plot (with a twist).
So, in this one, Desmond comes to Achilles around the same time Ratonhnhaké:ton does. Maybe he timed it that way, maybe it was fate. An important thing to note is that he has been making a name of himself by rebuilding his mother’s gang.
Of course, it’s less of a gang and more of a Brotherhood by its own rights. They stick to the shadows and follow the Creed and its tenets.
People see him as a genius youngster.
The ones who raised him after Hope died believed that he’s a prodigy like his late mother.
So he didn’t come to Achilles to ask for him to train him, he came there to learn about Shay Cormac and if he knows his current location.
This is where our plot can diverse into specific plot points:
(1) Desmond learns Shay is his father but Shay remains oblivious.
(2) Shay learns Desmond is his son but Desmond doesn’t know about this.
(3) They learn of their connection with one another in different ways.
For Desmond, either one of the people who raised him (maybe the ‘nanny’) knew the truth, maybe she was a servant of the Jensen family who came to care for Desmond, or Hope left a letter for Desmond to read when he was older if she died to one of the people who cared for him beforehand.
For Shay, it could be the good old ‘Hope Jensen had a son’, ‘said son is around this age’, Shay remembers they had sex around that time, and did the math himself. Or the Templars learned of the connection and informed Shay.
This would change how tragic this becomes, especially on Shay’s side.
Desmond’s side though?
He already had a bad father as Desmond Miles. His father being the one to kill his mother? Yeah, that just another nail in the coffin he would be carving for Shay Cormac, to be honest.
Shay though? If he learned that Desmond is his son, he would absolutely try to connect with him.
He would be the reason why Shay would return to the colonies during AC3.
So if you want Shay to be part of AC3 then Shay must know that Desmond is his son.
Or…
He learned that Hope Jensen’s son has been wrecking havoc with Haytham Kenway’s son and felt that it was his duty to ‘finish’ what he started.
.
Whatever situation they have, Desmond would be loyal to the Brotherhood. Not Achilles’ Brotherhood but the one he made himself. He’d support Ratonhnhaké:ton on his missions while suggesting Ratonhnhaké:ton join them.
Haytham would even comment on how their relationship is a bit similar to Haytham’s relationship with Shay but with the ‘roles’ reversed.
Desmond would clarify that he sees Ratonhnhaké:ton as an equal.
Desmond and Ratonhnhaké:ton would also bond over having bad fathers (although Ratonhnhaké:ton would remind Desmond that Shay Cormac doesn’t even know that he has a son so it was less ‘bad father’ and more like ‘bad Assassin’). In the end, Desmond would never betray Ratonhnhaké:ton and he has no memories of Shay being anything ‘good’ to him. Being his mother’s killer definitely soured their entire relationship before it even started.
So… it’s not going to have a happy ending.
.
.
.
Or, you know, Desmond’s mother could be some random woman Shay slept with and he found out about him after betraying the Brotherhood. He raised him away from his Templar business and Desmond becomes an Assassin anyway because of Ratonhnhaké:ton. This one’s angst would be the hesitation of fighting his father.
Pick your poison. XD
#assassin's creed#ask and answer#teecup writes/has a plot#fic idea: assassin's creed#desmond miles#ratonhnhaké:ton#connor kenway#shay cormac#hope jensen
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Hi. I have a pretty specific request for Kaz x reader. Basically, the reader was a part of the dregs for some time, well acquainted with Kaz, Nina and Inej (and Jesper, though I don't remember when he dropped studies and joined, but like yeah). After some time (2 years?) the reader is sent off to a job that causes them not to run into the main group a lot. For half a year they almost disappear (maybe swindling people in the harbor or watching some other Dregs’ territory). When they return all is good, new scars were definitely made and all, but that's a part of the job. They did mess up their leg though, having the knee crushed by a heavy object. They didn't get to heal it and after half a year its pretty hard to really fix. Unfortunately, they were known for their dancing and athletics as well as hand to hand combat before. That was why thy were seen as a valuable asset in the first place. And in the Dregs it’s not uncommon to overlook or hide injuries. So, though it's clear that something is wrong, they downplay it, afraid of being seen as weak or useless. But they struggle on the daily. I mean, from experience, that kind of an unhealed injury is hard to manage - they don't know how to sleep without pain flaring up bc the usual positions just don't work anymore, they have to relearn walking the stairs in a painless manner, whether changes are number one enemy, riding in anything is a nightmare bc the roads are bumpy, sitting apparently can cause pain too not to even mention walking. And all the fighting and acrobatics aren't as effective. They try to make others forget, trying to dance with Nina and Jes and sparring with Inej as if nothing happened. They want their life and self worth back
Before, they were known for keeping Kaz at a distance, which doesn't change at first. They still bicker, the reader is still distrustful. But I think he would be helpful. Not out of kindness, especially at first, but out of convenience. He can’t have them messing things up and so it starts small with offhand tips. Just enough not to have them get killed. Later, perhaps, they start talking more and the reader isn't sure if Kaz is still just the ruthless asshole they have to work with
To be fair, I don't have much plot. I just have my love for bittersweet stories and my messed up leg to provide inspiration. Also, don't care what you do with the gender, I used they/them to make in neutral but I don't really care. I know this request is long. No pressure if you don't like this scenario
-☆
My apologies for this taking so long. I was just scared that I wasn’t gonna do this justice. I hope it’s at least somewhat close. 🥺😫
Broken dreams
Playing a part was always hard. Fitting different masks. Making sure they didn’t slip. Always a smile. Always a careless, wild girl. But she just died last year. She was beaten. Broken to bits. Tossed aside. Left to die in that ally. To rot. Forgotten. Would anyone have come looking for you? Would have missed you? Grieved you? They killed the innocent girl that day. Left a broken shell of a woman in her way.
“Come on one more”, Nina pulled at your hand breathlessly. You quickly shoot her a smile, pushing the demons running in your mind aside. “We just sat down”, you chuckled while in reality, the idea of being up on your feet was making you want to turn to the side and vomit. “Oh, come on, we used to dance all night long, remember?”, she tossed her head back, downing her drink. “Jasper always steps on my toes, I need you to save me from that”, she cackled. Your eyes followed Jasper who was turning Wylan around. How much has everything changed in the time you were gone? It felt as if you no longer belonged. As if this version of you didn’t belong here anymore. “Are you feeling okay?”, Nina’s worried eyes watched you and you instantly nudged her, “Morning my freedom now that you’ve pretty much left your boyfriend for me”, you teased her. Happy to see her laugh. Off the hook then. “Lead the way”, you urged her. You could dance. Then down half the bottle of painkillers. Snatch one of the absolute bottles from Kaz’s drawer. It would work. You just had to pretend for a bit longer.
The pain was unbearable once you finally excused yourself. Sobbing the whole way back to the den. The agony felt like tongues of flames. No longer just in your legs. All over your body now. You slumped against the door. Letting yourself breathe. Trying to breathe. Only twenty sets of steps. It used to be only. Now it felt like twenty too many. Ot aggravated you. You wanted your body back. Wanted your freedom back. Wanted to be able to do things that others did. You just wanted it all to stop.
“Back early”, the voice makes you halt. Eyes growing big, you wipe your face before turning around, “Been a while since I drank so freely, Nina is also too persuasive”, you shoot a somewhat dazed smile at Kaz, who’s leaning against the the hallway arch. “You used to dance till early morning sun”, his words meet the target in a blind shot. Making your eyes sting once more. “You used to be more quiet. Don’t want to crawl back to your hole?”, it’s bitter. So bitter because he had learned to live with his pain. You were jealous of that. You had hoped that by watching him you would learn some tricks. How to navigate things that were easy once but brought you pain now. You learned to walk down the stairs because of him. Of watching him.
“You’ve changed”, Kaz’s eyes don’t leave you as he speaks. “Rich coming from you”, you let out a chuckle, locking the outside door. “You’re defensive”, he continues to push, “You were never defensive with me. We argued. You tested my patience but you never bit me”, you hear the sound of his cane, then the smooth steps. “Why are you biting me now, YN?”, Kaz asks. “Don’t make everything about yourself, Kaz”, you turned around swiftly, feeling your legs dip slightly beneath your weight. But you bite back the cry of pain, stepping forward. Hoping to escape him. But Kaz’s cane comes in front of you blocking your way.
“You don’t get to walk away”, he grunts, turning his head to you. “I’ll ask this once”, his voice low, lethal, “So take your time to think”. You can feel him. Feel his eyes when he asks, “Who hurt you?”. The anger takes flight within you. Sending traitorous tears falling down your cheeks, “If I have an idea they would be six feet under”. He had played his part. Made you open the throbbing wound up for him to see. “They captured me. Broke my knees. I couldn’t…”, the words tumble freely, as you hide your face in your palms. “Why didn’t you say anything?”, his tone is blank, emotionless.
“What was I supposed to say?”, you crock out in frustration, “I was worthless then. I was of no use”. Kaz clenches his jaw, “So you hide the truth from me?”. You can’t help but growl in frustration, “I did the job you gave me. I got you what you wanted, what else do you want from me for fuck sake”.
And it’s a matter of heartbeats as your back hits the wall, Kaz’s cane now pressed against your chest, “I don’t give a fuck about the job”, he spats, veins visible in his tense neck now. “We could have gotten you a good doctor, could have…”, he grunts, “Did anyone look at the injury at all?”. You look at him for a moment. You could lie but what’s the point? “Some passing by a doctor”, you admit, “Fixed what he was able to, wished me luck, and left”.
Kaz shakes his head as he steps back, “How bad is the pain?”, “You want to bask in it?”, you clip right at him. “I should throw you out. Make you pay for ruining your own body so carelessly”, he hisses, “Legally you are mine. I own you. So your legs are mine to worry about”. You scoff, “How sweet of you, my gods”. Kaz’s gloved hand catches your jaw, the touch starts you both it seems. “I’m mad at you because you should have spoken up. I would have helped you. Would have dropped everything and made my way to you”, Kaz snarls through gritted teeth, “You’re starting physical therapy from tomorrow. That’s an order”, he steps back, pulls at his west. You blink up at him, knowing that you should say something. Anything. He would have come to you. But was it true? “If you ever pull anything like this ever again…”, Kaz doesn’t finish but you know well what his words imply, “I’ll see you in the morning at my office. Think well about the features of people who attacked”.
#kaz brekker x you#kaz brekker x oc#kaz x you#kaz brekker six of crows#kaz brekker x reader#kaz brekker imagine#kaz x reader#the six of crows x reader#the six of crows imagine#the six of crows x you
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[Theory] Agatha All Along title meaning + character arc for Agatha
Back on the theory train — here’s another thing that’s bugging me. Why is the show called Agatha All Along, besides the cute allusion to the song. I know for a fact Jac Schaeffer is too clever and too good of a writer to not make it mean something more.
I’m feeling like it must tie into Agatha’s character arc for the show, so let me take you on a little hypothetical journey here.
Spoilers below the cut!
Now that I’ve rewatched those last few episodes of WandaVision, I can’t get Agatha’s flashback out of my head. Particularly her saying, practically pleading, “I can be good” and her mother replying “no, you cannot.” Like holy shit. That’s a condemnation if I ever heard one. A different kind of curse passed down by a different kind of mother.
I’m starting to wonder… what if Agatha was always this powerful, even without the Darkhold. What if she was so innately powerful, her own mother and her entire coven was afraid of her? Maybe they even suspected her of being the Scarlet Witch, and therefore capable of ending the world itself? And because she was so powerful, and every other witch around her didn’t even want to touch her much less teach her, what if she went looking for resources herself? And whether that was the actual Darkhold or something else “above her station” (… I’m not convinced she had the Darkhold yet at the time of this WV flashback scene) that only served as the indictment the other witches needed to finally attack her?
Basically where I’m going with this is… what if Agatha was raised to believe she was bad? If she was always told she was basically evil incarnate, always feared for her power, too powerful for her own good, too powerful to be good, to anyone… her own coven, her sisters, and her mother were afraid of her and shunned her… what would that core belief do to her?
Let’s also assume her coven were the first (maybe only) people she intentionally killed (and even then, in self defense). The way she looks when she takes the amulet from her mother’s body — she’s angry, but how much of that anger is directed at herself? How much of her thought, well, look, they were right. I am bad. I am evil. And there’s no turning back now. And I hate myself for it.
Except maybe, she tries. She’s constantly trying to escape this fate, this identity that was forced on her. She never joins another coven in the centuries after, not only because no one wants her and she has serious trust issues but because she doesn’t want to hurt them, intentionally or not. She doesn’t need their power, she’s already more powerful than just about any other witch. So she studies. She learns the craft. She controls her power. And she leans into the persona of Agatha the powerful evil witch, because why not? That’s what they all think of her anyway. Let her control the narrative then. She wears her reputation like armor, so that no one can betray her ever again. As Rio says, “you’re vulnerable.” And she replies, “only physically.”
Then at some point, the unthinkable happens. She meets Rio, falls in love with her, figures out who she is (not necessarily in that order) and maybe she thinks, what kind of person falls in love with death? Surely that must be even more confirmation that she’s horrible (despite the fact that Rio is not horrible, not really, and certainly not to her). But she tries not to care, and mostly she doesn’t because she’s in love.
And then she has Nicky, however that happens, and she’s absolutely terrified but he is hers, and she loves him like she never loved anyone before. And she’s determined — he will be powerful but he will never think he’s anything less than because of it. He is finally, finally something good that came from her.
And then he too, is ripped away from her, by her own lover Death, and however it happened (even though it definitely wasn’t intentional on her part), she knows it’s her fault. Because she is evil, she is horrible, and this is her fate. She is betrayed by the people she loves, and she is left behind.
But still! She can’t give him up. She can’t stop trying. And she feels the absolutely insane surge of power in Westview and inserts herself into the Scarlet Witch’s hex, when no other witch would even dare get close, because maybe with enough power, with Wanda’s power, she can remake Nicky. (“And you wanted him back.”) She can create somewhere he’ll be safe and everyone else will be safe, and she won’t cause any more damage, to anyone. Death will never find them. She can raise her son in peace. She never wanted Wanda’s power just for power’s sake, she wanted what Wanda created, but better. Her version.
And then that too, was gone. And once again, she was painted the villain.
And now? Now it seems like all the pieces of her past are coming back to haunt her all at once. A new coven of witches who seem impossible to get along with, her lover Death who she tried to escape for so long, and a boy who looks like he might be the version of her son she was trying to recreate, who seems to adore her despite everything she is and wants to learn magic more than anything else. It’s all come back around.
So maybe, through reasons and events currently unfolding, Agatha’s journey on The Road (and the show) is to realize, or at least begin to maybe believe slightly, that she’s not inherently evil. She’s not an inherently bad person, or bad luck, or horrible. It wasn’t all her fault. Nicky’s death wasn’t her fault, even if she couldn’t save him. Death is part of her journey, as it is for us all, and maybe she can learn to accept that, maybe even love the woman who carries that name again, or at least forgive her.
Maybe this boy isn’t hers, but she can care for him and teach him the magic she never got to teach her own son. There can be a coven who actually has her back, who even sees her as their leader, who knows her and accepts her for what she truly is. Extremely flawed, powerful as all fuck, snarky and sarcastic, but the real her.
Not Agatha the evil witch. Not Agatha the villain (because she never was one). Not Agatha the hero either. Just Agatha. All Along.
———
Eh?? 🤷♀️
Now maybe in the show it’s not quite as angsty as all this, but Jac Schaeffer is writing this character too complexly and Kathryn Hahn is playing her too complexly for at least some of this not to be true. Agatha’s not just a villain. She’s not true evil. It’s only episode 4 and we basically know for a fact based on her reactions alone that Agatha did NOT sacrifice her own child for the book of the damned. And I just can’t get over the way Kathryn Hahn almost seems to be playing two characters with Agatha, the (evil) witch and the vulnerable Agatha underneath that only seems to surface for Teen and Rio, so far.
It’s fascinating, and I just want to see her get the depth of story she deserves. And we deserve, tbh.
#Agatha all along#agatha harkness#character analysis#theory#fan theory#meta#Rio Vidal#agathario#Agatha all along spoilers
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Shark week hc’s featuring bf Touya
Summary: Touya as a bf when you’re on your Period
A/n I’m on my period soooo
Warnings: cursing, blood obviously, second hand embarrassment from twice, he burns your heating pad to ash lmao
I’ve seen some ppl say he’d be clueless (“what size pussy u wear”)
Nah
Fuyumi would’ve explained everything to him with Rei when he was younger
Plus, he’s probably had to pick up pads and chocolates for Toga during his time with the league
Yk all emo big brother like ☝️🥹
Needless to say he’d understand
And he’d be really thoughtful too.
His openness might be awkward
But it’s the thought that counts
Especially when he’s letting you use his whole body as a heating pad
But if he’s honest he just enjoys the cuddles
If you’re in the league, he’ll shamelessly cover for you on missions
And by shamelessly I mean he’d legit go to shiggy and be like “yeah I’ll take her mission… well it’s that time of month, and she’s in the shower right now…it’s like The Shining in there”
WITH NO SHAME
Shiggy would probably understand too though tbh but that’s a story for another time
He’d definitely have toga hang out with you while he’s gone,
And when he gets back he’s got candy and pads, and ibuprofen
Hes not shameless with that part tho
He’s well aware that if any of the league saw him being so thoughtful they’d make fun of him
So he usually comes in with a bunch of Walmart bags stuffed in his jacket
Which is usually hilarious because it’s crinkling like crazy and he’s just acting like it’s not there
Being aLoOf
The fuckin emo 🖤 ⛓️🥀
He walks in, drops the bags on the bed, and flops over into your lap, letting you play with his hair while his quirk warms you up
Seriously he’s like a heating pad but a million times better
If you bleed through your pants, he immediately spots it (he stares at your ass all the time it’s nothing new)
Gives you his jacket
Acts mad at first “you should really take care of that, we’re in public”
But when you’re alone “sorry doll I’ll get you the heavier flow pads next time, now c’mere”
Bc he can’t stay mad when it’s not your fault
And if anyone sees it too? No they fuckin didn’t 😀
Will threaten to kill them if they mention it
Them being Twice bc he’s the only one who would
Not in a mean way he’d just be like “OMG Y/N ARE YOU OKAY YOUR ASS IS BLEEDING”
And Touya would do that really slow creepy ass side eye/head turn
And Twice never mentioned it again
Ofc after that Toga walked Twice through it
Because unlike Touya, Twice never had anyone to explain that stuff
But once again that’s a story for another time
But I think Touya would be really reassuring if you got embarrassed
In his own way ofc
“Calm down doll, it’s natural, so shut up and keep walking…I got ibuprofen in the car…”
Back to heating pads because I just had a thought
He wouldn’t let you have a heating pad
He’d get so jealous
“Wtf am I even here for then”
Probably burned it and payed you what you spent on it
“See? I’m clearly the better candidate for keepin ya warm, that crap didn’t stand a chance”
With a big ass maniacal grin
(This was playing while I wrote it lmao, I don’t make the rules 🤷♀️ plus you can never go wrong with Arctic Monkeys ☝️😤)
Banner Creds to Artist 🙌🙌🙌 lmk if you recognize it in the comments so I can add their tag here 🙏🙏🙏
#dabi x reader#touya x reader#bnha dabi#bnha touya#mha dabi#touya todoroki#dabi headcanons#mha touya#touya fluff#touya headcanons#dabi fluff#Spotify#Chloe’s Drabble
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kings rising highlights & annotations
chapter 3
indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!
also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!
i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.
this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.
The Regent’s forces were rivers of darker red, driving inroads into their lines, mingling their armies together, like a stream of blood hitting water, then diffusing.
He killed, and it was simply that men got out of his way, or were dead.
He had grown used to something that had been temporary, like the flash of exhilaration in a pair of blue eyes for a moment catching his own. All of that tangled together inside him, and tightened, through the killing, into a single hard knot.
something about the way this is written just hits me in the abandonment issues
‘If the Prince of Vere shows himself, I will kill him.’ Nikandros half spat the words.
nik private twitter venting moment #2
The ground was wet, his legs were mud-spattered above his knees—mud in dry summer, because the ground was blood.
i don’t know man i feel like after a point you have to just be like. hey. why are we doing this again? like yeah i get that fighting in a military force can be for A Cause but unless you’re directly involved in enacting ideological change, aren’t you basically just cannon fodder
On the far side of the field, he saw the flash of embroidered red. That is how Akielons win wars, isn’t it? Why fight the whole army, when you can just—
i’m guessing the part in italics in a previous laurent line, about damen killing auguste at marlas?
He used the little name that Damen had been called as a boy; the childhood name, reserved for intimates.
the fact that is was kastor specifically asking the veretians to call him that…
Damen realised that he was on his knees, his own chest heaving like the chest of his horse.
laurent’s horse will be glad to know that damen’s horse lived. because, as we all know, they’re in love
‘Over?’ The word grated out of him. All he could think was that if the Regent still lived, nothing was over.
it is interesting how, even when he thinks laurent screwed him over (see previous chapter), damen has this uncontrollable rage towards the regent rather than laurent. i think this has more to do with the regent killing his men and trying invade his country, though. and maybe just that it’s easier to hate him than laurent. “regent = bad” is something that’s easy for damen to comprehend right now, while laurent’s whole thing is a lot more confusing and intimate
And with returning awareness, he saw as if for the first time the bodies of the men that he had killed to get to the Regent’s decoy, and beyond that, the evidence of what he had done. The field was a rutted earthworks strewn with the dead. The ground was a churned mess of flesh, ineffective armour and riderless horses. Killing ceaselessly, for hours, he had not been aware of the scale of it, of what he had caused to happen here. He saw flashes behind his eyelids, faces of the men he’d killed. Those left standing were all Akielon; and they stared at Damen as at something impossible.
damen holy shit… i guess that’s one way to reclaim your authority. and he didn’t even mean it as a sign of intimidation, he just wanted to get to the “regent.” who by the way was just some random guy RIP
‘Find the highest-ranked Veretian still living and tell them they have leave to bury their dead,’ said Damen. There was a fallen Akielon banner on the ground beside him. ‘Charcy is claimed for Akielos.’ As he rose, Damen wrapped his hand around its wooden pole and planted it in the earth.
not sure if calling it an akielion victory despite the combined forces is just customary, or intentionally out of spite. i’m leaning on the former, since it’s damen and not laurent we're talking about
The herald came cantering across the devastated landscape on a white, glossy mare with a curved neck and a high, flying tail. Beautiful and untouched, he made a mockery of the sacrifice of the brave men on the field. His banner streamed out behind him, and its blazon was Laurent’s starburst, in blue and shining gold.
here is an excerpt from a post i made while reading king’s rising for the first time:
“damen when he realizes he’s not in a slow burn romance with problematic beginnings, but a complex psychological thriller in which the smartest fictional character i have ever personally encountered has decided to make his life a living hell and also they’re in love with each other but the psychological thriller stuff is way more important to his bitchy blonde nightmare malewife and he is SO down bad and just has to deal with laurent’s mean girls 4d chess petty nonsense bc it’s enrichment for him and damen will kill anyone who gets in laurent’s way and he can’t even pick up the very very VERY clear implications of laurent’s trauma that would probably allow them to reach some kind of vulnerability equilibrium in their relationship”
on a re-read, i think this is a great time to dig into that a little more ;)
SO what i love about so much of laurent’s choices in the next few chapters is the fact that much of what he says and does is entirely petty. like, yes there’s always strategy and trauma and depth as usual, but i think it’s not denying him depth to say that he is 20 years old, this is his first love in the midst of an extremely stressful and messy situation, and despite his own wishes he cannot prevent his emotions from affecting his actions. laurent has had control over so much of the situation with damen thus far, both with the power dynamics between them as master and “slave” and the fact that damen didn’t know that laurent knew who he was. but now laurent knows that damen knows, so all of his previous and future actions are going to be under damen’s scrutiny in that context. they’re equals now, and the secrets reinforcing laurent’s prior cognitive dissonance have dissolved. that leaves laurent vulnerable (especially after being tortured and genuinely letting damen down even if by accident) and emotional compromised (he has no choice but to see damen as damianos, and with that comes all of the auguste baggage and the fact that they’ve already fallen in love and had sex under different circumstances).
all that is to say, the next few chapters are laurent’s mean girls era. he is, again, still being smart and strategic (4d chess), and his feelings are valid and his trauma is real. however, he is also just being MEAN, for the same reasons classic high school movie mean girls tend to be: he feels insecure and vulnerable about his romantic attachment to damen, stressed out by the insane amount of power he definitely should not have, and self-righteous about all the ways the world has conspired against him. regina george might have been the villain of the movie, but she was the hero of her own story. janis and cady methodically dismantled her life as a popular, powerful, and confident person. that’s why she got revenge with the burn book instead of looking inward and acknowledging her own issues, of which there were many. she had a machiavellian view of life, in which mean people always won, and so being mean in retaliation was how she could protect herself from being a victim.
that is laurent’s perspective too, for a lot of this series. we don’t know anything about regina’s backstory, or heather chandler’s (another great example), but we do know exactly why laurent has the worldview he does. he used to be sweet and it made him a victim. so he is mean to protect himself, even if that robs him of his sweetness. damen’s integrity and honor have challenged laurent’s worldview, though, and that has been the source of a lot of laurent’s slow reconsideration. but now that laurent can’t just pretend that damen isn't damianos, now that he has to accept this situation in its full interpersonal and political messiness, he isn’t nearly as inspired. laurent assumes, now that laurent has gone “mask off,” that damen will realize that laurent doesn’t deserve the love he has shown him in the past. because laurent has been mean to damen, by lying about his awareness even at the times damen thought he was being earnest and sweet. that makes damen a victim and fool—two things laurent deeply fears being, and therefore assumes everyone else also fears in themselves. two things the regent had wanted laurent to consider himself, by placing damen in his life in the first place.
therefore, in his insecurity and vulnerability and anger, as a 20 year old just experiencing his first love, as someone with a lot of power and stress who cannot waste time or energy on genuinely confronting his own flaws in good faith, laurent is gearing up to be sososososo mean to damen specifically in the next few chapters. like comedically mean. aimlessly mean. pathetically mean. on purpose. ultimately, if he must be alone (which he obviously must, says laurent's brain), laurent would rather be the villain of someone else’s story than a victim in his own. that, at least, is similar to book 1 laurent—but while he was a cat playing with a mouse in book 1, in a position to do serious damage to his opponent, now he’s more like…. a cat, slapping another cat. evenly matched, but still throwing hands. transparently insecure and pathetic, only effective in doing emotional damage in ways he doesn’t intend. damen isn’t hurt by the petty things laurent says and does, because he sees through them for what they are. he’s hurt because laurent sees them as necessary to protect himself and keep his distance, when all damen wants is to make things okay between them. which laurent would never expect, because he assumes that damen wants nothing to do with him, and would be happier and better off if they stayed apart.
basically: unstoppable force (damen's persistent caring) meets unmovable object (laurent's refusal to be genuinely cared for). the only way for this cycle to end is for damen to choose to stop, or for laurent to choose to yield. laurent will eventually make that choice, but he still has to be a huge bitch about it first. he's going to lash out at damen and challenge him to stop caring, but ultimately fail—both because damen is just built different, and because he's lowkey written as a fantasy partner for emotionally volatile people with attachment and abandonment issues.
rest assured, laurent’s genre is still psychological thriller, but it’s also now a high school drama movie. and damen is about to get a bitter taste of that, with pretty much no choice in the matter. this poor man will have to deal with laurent’s bitchy theatrics as they try to co-parent an army, and he’s already too emotionally invested and aware of laurent’s habit of lashing out when he’s in pain to genuinely fight back.
this could also be called laurent’s s1 catra era, but i’m not sure what the venn diagram of capri and she ra enjoyers looks like. to those who get it—laurent is doing what catra did at princess prom for the next several chapters, down to the “hey adora” = “hello lover.” this dynamic is very fun to read because it doesn’t overstay its welcome. it’s different from laurent in book 1, or catra in general, because it’s so clearly pathetic, damen and laurent are on the same side of the war, and damen could technically make it stop at any point. so i think it’s very very fun, while it lasts >:)
The herald reined in in front of him. Damen looked at the mare’s shiny coat, not dirt-covered, not heaving or darkened with sweat, and then at the herald’s livery, in immaculate condition, unflecked by the dust of the road. He felt it rising at the back of his throat. ‘Where is he?’
damen showed up to the prom laurent planned with him to unite their rival high schools, only to find himself dateless and laurent’s promised fancy party decorations missing. this is the moment where damen checks snapchat (i was in high school from 2013-2017) and sees everyone from vere high at their own immaculately-decorated prom, where laurent is being crowned king. little does damen know, laurent was blindsided by the vere-only prom and forced via social pressure to be there since everyone elected him prom king. they’re mad at each other for a high school drama pacing-typical period of time, and then make up when they realize the misunderstanding and reassert their dedication to each other.
laurent did still murder someone with a chair, though. but like a metal folding chair from the band room
The herald’s back hit the ground. Damen had dragged him bodily from his horse into the dirt, where he lay dazed and winded, with Damen’s knee in his stomach. Damen’s hand was around his neck.
His grip tightened before it opened enough to allow the herald to speak. The herald rolled onto his side and coughed as Damen released him. He pulled something from inside his jacket. Parchment, with two lines on it. You have Charcy. I have Fortaine. He stared at the words, written in familiar, unmistakable handwriting. I’ll receive you at my fort.
lamen hr complaint #5 (unnamed herald): ragdolling this guy over what should be impersonal, professional correspondence
also, because i can't help myself:
Fortaine eclipsed even Ravenel, powerful and beautiful, its towers high-flung, its jutting crenelles biting the sky. It rose to a sheer, impossible height and, from every vantage, it was flying Laurent’s banners. The pennants seemed to float on the air effortlessly, patterned silk in blue and gold.
WELCOME HOME, BROTHER KILLER
Rows upon rows of peaked, coloured tents were pitched on the field outside Fortaine’s walls, the sun lighting the pavilions, the banners, and the silks of a graceful encampment. It was a city of tents, and it camped a fresh, intact force of Laurent’s men, who had not fought and died through the morning. The constructed arrogance of the display was intentional. It said, exquisitely: Did you exert yourself at Charcy? I have been here examining my nails.
this is funny and i wouldn’t put it past laurent, but also i’m not sure if he like. really meant this part of it specifically to piss damen off. he was just tortured idk he probably just wanted things nice. a good part of the fun of lamen divorce era is remembering that damen’s interpretation of events isn’t necessarily accurate, and that it’s hilarious how he interprets things as petty personal slights even when they might not be. they’re both so obsessed with each other and it’s great
Nikandros reined in alongside him. ‘Uncle and nephew are alike. They send other men to do their fighting for them.’
nik tweets this verbatim on priv (#3)
Damen was silent. What he felt in his chest was a hardness like anger. He looked at the elegant silken city and thought about men dying on the field at Charcy.
but not exactly anger—betrayal? heartache? self-consciousness?
Some kind of herald’s greeting party was riding towards them. He gripped the Regent’s bloody, torn banner in his hand.
the phrase “greeting party” just made me imagine them rolling up with like confetti and a speaker blasting the celebration song. while damen holds the bloody torn banner
‘Just me,’ said Damen, and put his heels into his horse. About halfway across the field, he was met by the herald, who arrived with an anxious party of four attendants saying something urgent about protocol. Damen listened to four words of it. ‘Don’t worry,’ said Damen. ‘He’s expecting me.’
lamen hr complaint #6 (more unnamed heralds): disregarding protocol
(also “he’s expecting me” girlllll)
Without even pulling off his gauntlets, he strode to the tent. He knew its high scalloped folds; he knew the starburst pennant. No one stopped him. Not even when he reached the tent and dismissed the soldier at the entrance with a single order: ‘Go.’ He didn’t bother to see if his order was obeyed. The soldier let him through: of course he did; this had all been planned. Laurent was ready for him whether he came docilely behind the herald or, as he did now, the dirt and the sweat of the battle still on him, blood dried in the places where a cursory swipe with a cloth had not reached it. He swept the tent flap back with an arm, and stepped inside.
again i do have to question, beyond the drama, how much of this is as intentional and petty as damen thinks it is. like, the heralds literally cite protocol, damen knows this is the correct way for a camp to be run. i think he is assuming a lot here, although it’s reasonable to do so. we have seen in the past that damen assumes things of laurent that laurent is just like, “uh. not everything i do is on purpose” about, or damen is just WRONG about. i just wonder if damen’s approach here confirms things laurent was worried about (damen thinking poorly of him now that they’re on even ground), further fueling the fire of his rejection-sensitive bitchiness. not that it’s an excuse, or even undeserved, but it’s good to remember that there are two sides to the story.
like to damen, this is an angry post-battle rush of a moment to confront laurent and speak his truth (he doesn’t know laurent knows who he is), but to laurent this is like. post-torture and escape, and basically being thrown into the deep end of vulnerability with damianos and what this all implies to auguste’s memory. we’re not getting the best or most rational version of either of them right now, which is great for the drama but also makes the narration less reliable
This was the place Laurent had chosen.
right. damen thinks laurent chose this place to hear the truth about him, because the “you have charcy” note implies that at some point laurent probably figured out that damen is damianos. therefore laurent chose this occasion for them to meet each other, as they truly are by birth, for the first time. damen just doesn’t know the twist that laurent has always known who he’s been, and has chosen everything else before now with that knowledge too
There were a few furnishings, low seats, cushions, and in the background a trestle table hung with its own coverings, and set with shallow bowls of sugared pears and oranges. As though they were going to nibble at sweetmeats.
the same guy who ordered the “sorry you were given a severed head and discovered a suicide” fruit basket in prince’s gambit had to order a “sorry i gaslighted you for 2 books but not really because you also technically gaslighted me” fruit basket in kings rising
He lifted his gaze from the table to the exquisitely attired figure leaned with a single shoulder against the tent pole, watching him.
lucky number laurent lean #13!
Laurent said, ‘Hello, lover.’
It was not going to be simple.
this being the follow-up line to “hello lover” is such a good combination of funny and tension-building. like laurent’s cunty tableau immediately put out damen’s fiery righteous indignation and now he’s just like “oh this is going to suck.”
He made himself breathe through that. ‘Your men think you’re a coward. Nikandros thinks that you deceived us. That you sent us to Charcy, and left us there to die by your uncle’s sword.’ ‘And is that what you think?’ said Laurent. ‘No.’ Damen said, ‘Nikandros doesn’t know you.’
this is really a testament to pacat’s cleverness, how in chapter 1 there are a lot of moments where it’s almost like damen is directly saying he thinks laurent screwed him over—nikandros and the herald saying it and him not disagreeing, him accepting the reality that laurent is not going to show up—but he never does truly say that he thinks the abandonment was on purpose. because he didn’t, and he doesn’t, which makes sense. but he’s still angry and confused and also just concerned about how laurent is taking the “news” that he’s damianos. how much of damen’s anger about laurent’s composed appearance is projection of his anxiety about laurent seeing him as he truly is, a powerful authority figure in his own right who just won a battle against insane odds?
it’s so ambiguously written that it’s almost like pacat WANTS us to spiral. which i did, and will probably continue to do, so well-played. these books are like evil catnip to anxious overthinking theater people with attachment issues and an interest in understanding complex fictional situations to cope with the fact that real life never makes enough sense. also kinky gays but let's be real that's just a trojan horse for the other stuff
‘And you do.’ Damen looked at the arrangement of Laurent’s weight, the careful way he was holding his body. Laurent’s left hand was still casually resting against the tent pole. Deliberately, he stepped forward, and clasped Laurent’s right shoulder. Nothing, for a moment. Damen tightened his grip, and ground in with his thumb. Harder. He watched Laurent turn ashen. Finally, Laurent said, ‘Stop.’
proving that he knows laurent well enough to pick up from his posture alone exactly where he’s been injured. also they’re both so messy, like let’s put pressure on each other’s literal and figurative wounds instead of just talking about our misconceptions and feelings, awesome
He let go. Laurent had wrenched back and was clutching his shoulder, where the blue of his doublet had darkened. Blood, welling up from some newly bandaged, subterranean place, and Laurent was staring at him, his eyes oddly wide. ‘You wouldn’t break an oath,’ said Damen, past the feeling in his chest. ‘Even to me.’
damen proving to himself, and proving to laurent, that he knows that laurent didn’t screw him over, and instead was injured and failed to show up. laurent is shocked by how quickly damen picked up on this. also ow
He had to force himself back.
he doesn’t want to see laurent in pain, or know that he’s causing it :( which is especially unfortunate given the conversation they’re about to have about damen murdering laurent’s brother
Laurent didn’t answer. He still had a hand clutched to his shoulder, his fingers sticky with blood. Laurent said, ‘Even to you?’
“you wouldn’t break an oath, even to me” (“even to me” being a sort of freudian slip, meaning “i killed your brother, and i’ve known that this whole time and i haven’t told you, and you have a good reason to hate me for that”) “even to you?” (to damen’s incomplete understanding: “well i know who you are now, and if i’d known before i would have broken every oath to you i’ve ever made”)
He made himself look at Laurent. The truth was an awful presence in his chest.
babygirl it’s about to get so much awfuller
He thought of the single night they had spent together. He thought of Laurent, giving himself, dark-eyed and vulnerable, and of the Regent, who knew how to break a man.
damen totally sees laurent as his “victim” right now, set up well by him re-opening laurent’s physical wound. damen fucked this man while knowing that he (damen) killed his (laurent’s) brother, and put trust in him. if they were normal, or this was a normal story, that’s where the confrontation would end. it would be that simple—damen didn’t mean to hurt laurent but still did, and laurent has to forgive him for that, and forgive himself for being fooled—and then it would get tearfully resolved because they love each other so much that it doesn't matter. but they are not normal, and this is not a normal story, so…
Outside, two armies were poised to fight. The moment was here, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He remembered the Regent’s constant suggestion: Bed my nephew. He had done that, wooed him, won him. Charcy, he saw, hadn’t mattered to the Regent. It hadn’t meant anything. The Regent’s real weapon against Laurent had always been Damen himself.
damen thinks the regent’s plan had been to weaken laurent by putting him in circumstances where he’d unknowingly make himself vulnerable with his brother’s killer, triggering him emotionally and destroying his judgment. i'm pretty sure that this was basically his intention, but had also made sure that it would also torture laurent even if he did recognize damen on the spot.
personally i think the regent knew that laurent knew in book 1 through observing his reaction, but had planned for both possibilities in advance. what he hadn't expected, though, was for laurent and damen to start genuinely working together instead of against each other. this happens early as the thing with patras, and really pops off during the botched assassination attempt.
charcy was meant to drive a wedge between them, to correct the regent's previous miscalculation. and given the inevitable truth damen must now reveal, there's nothing he can really do to stop laurent from being upset.
‘I’ve come to tell you who I am.’ Laurent was so keenly familiar, the shade of his hair, the strapped down clothing, the full lips that he held tense or cruelly repressed, the ruthless asceticism, the unbearable blue eyes. ‘I know who you are, Damianos,’ said Laurent. Damen heard it, as the interior of the tent seemed to change, so that all of the objects in it took on a different shape. ‘Did you think,’ said Laurent, ‘I wouldn’t recognise the man who killed my brother?’
the way i YELLED during my first read. i remember even like posting something before, like “oh my god damen just tell him put this poor man out of his misery,” and then after i got to this part i immediately went and deleted that post
Each word was an ice chip. Painful, sharp; a shard. Laurent’s voice was perfectly steady.
do you think he practiced this?
‘I knew in the palace, when they dragged you in front of me,’ said Laurent. The words continued, steady, relentless. ‘I knew in the baths when I ordered you flayed. I knew—’
he definitely practiced this
‘At Ravenel?’ said Damen.
“you knew when you kissed me and let me fuck you????”
‘If you knew,’ said Damen, ‘how could you—’ ‘Let you fuck me?’ His own chest hurt, so that he almost didn’t notice the signs of it in Laurent, the control, the face, pale at any time, now white.
he almost didn’t notice the signs, which means he still totally did. because even now, damen is attentive and caring towards laurent
‘I needed a victory at Charcy. You provided it. It was worth enduring,’ Laurent spoke the terrible, lucid words, ‘your fumbling attentions for that.’
LIARRRRRRR
It hurt so much it took the breath from his throat. ‘You’re lying.’ Damen’s heart was pounding. ‘You’re lying.’ The words were too loud. ‘You thought I was leaving. You practically threw me out.’ He said it, as the realisation blossomed inside him. ‘You knew who I was. You knew who I was the night we made love.’
tbh i think this kind of realization would make me have a panic attack on the spot. also do you think this is the kind of betrayal he’s been trying so hard to avoiding confronting, coming from kastor and jokaste? but here he has no choice to confront it, because laurent is forcing him to understand the depths of the deception. no avoiding it now
He thought of Laurent surrendering, not the first time, but the second, the slower, sweeter time, the tension in him, the way he had— ‘You weren’t making love to a slave, you were making love to me.’
very true, but laurent isn’t ready to deal with it. he can’t keep up the cognitive dissonance in the present, but that doesn’t mean he’s about to accept that it was real in the past. instead he’ll just lash out.
And he couldn’t think that through clearly but he could catch a glimmer of it, a glimmer of the edge of it. ‘I thought you wouldn’t, I thought you’d never—’
OF COURSE damen suspected, at some points, that laurent knew. but this tells us that he’d ultimately dismissed the notion because it would have been insane for laurent to kiss and fuck him, while knowing his real identity. “i thought you wouldn’t, i thought you’d never—“
this is similar to how i thought about it during my first read—i suspected for all of book 1, and some of book 2, but then figured that the story was taking a different direction because how the hell could the plot points of “laurent knows who damen is” and “laurent makes himself vulnerable to damen and does a romance/sex about it” possibly be compatible? laurent, a deeply traumatized and self-protective person, wouldn’t and would never. except i underestimated laurent’s capacity for self-delusion, and overestimated the amount of control he truly has over his emotions and impulses, beneath all the posturing. damen, here, is recognizing that he’s made similar miscalculations, and now he’s seeing laurent as he truly is. they’re both seeing each other, truly, for the first time.
‘Laurent, six years ago, when I fought Auguste, I—’ ‘Don’t you say his name.’ The words were forced out of Laurent. ‘Don’t you ever say his name, you killed my brother.’
i like the simplicity of this. just the plainness of “you killed my brother.” laurent’s language is so often clever and cagey and embellished, but that last sentiment is raw and informal, and what we the reader are probably screaming in our heads. because yeah, holy shit, damen killed laurent’s brother. it’s a pretty hard thing to argue against, or ignore. “you lied to me” “you killed my brother” “you flogged me” “you killed my brother” “you forgot to do the dishes” “you killed my brother”
Laurent was breathing shallowly, almost panting as he spoke, his hands rigid on the edge of the table behind him.
his practiced words are saying one thing, but his body is very obviously having a panic attack. this scene isn’t nearly as much of a laurent mean girl moment as it seemed during a rushed first read. that’s actually kind of a relief to me, bc it made me sad to interpret him as so heartless and unfazed the first time around. even if “hello lover” is an iconic moment, it’s a performance more than anything else. and pacat shows us this sooner than i recalled or first perceived. she’s not torturing us, the reader, as much as she’s torturing both damen and laurent. and it’s not even like a lazy misunderstanding kind of torture, this is genuinely complicated and they’re both in the wrong and they both are justified in this pain and hurt. i just couldn’t see that as well the first time, having binged like all of book 2 already and having no idea what would happen next and honestly just being shocked and betrayed and compelled by the massive mislead with laurent’s awareness of the situation
‘Is that what you want to hear, that I knew who you were and I still let you fuck me, my brother’s killer, who cut him down like an animal on the field?’
you know he doesn’t, laurent, that’s just what you’re telling yourself now that you’re forced to confront it. you started this scene with “hello lover” and your prepared speech, hoping to destroy damen emotionally, but once again you’ve just kinda played yourself. maybe just cool it with the emotional gambits for now, when it comes to damen, bc they only really seem to come back and hurt you (oh fuck he can’t hear me)
‘Shall I ask you how you did it? What he looked like when your sword went in?’ ‘No,’ said Damen.
laurent, shaking, pale, looks like he’s about to pass out: “you bastard, tell me about how you murdered my brother as i think about the fact that i let you fuck me in a similar way, go ahead just make it hurt more”
damen, not a therapist but still emotionally intelligent enough to know this isn’t really about punishing him: no, i don’t think i will. can you like sit down
‘Or shall I tell you about the illusion of the man who gave me good counsel. Who stood by me. Who never lied to me.’ ‘I never lied to you.’
that italicized “i” is interesting. is it an accusation of laurent’s own lying and hypocrisy, or a specification that damen never directly told laurent he wasn’t damianos? given damen’s well-established integrity, i’m guessing it’s the first option. again with the mutual moral arbitration. and damen wouldn’t want to take such a weak a cop-out as “well i never technically said it,” it’s just not typical of his character.
The words were awful in the silence that followed them. ‘“Laurent, I am your slave”?’ said Laurent. He felt the breath forced out from his lungs.
of course laurent takes it as the second option, though, and implies that by swearing himself to laurent and then bedding him damen was directly lying about his identity. because to laurent, damen =/= damianos. a slave can’t be a prince. so damianos, the prince, must have been intentionally lying about being damen, the slave. and that’s actually easier, and less painful, and less complicated to accept than any kind of nuanced alternative.
‘Don’t,’ he said, ‘talk about it like—’ ‘Like?’ ‘Like it was cold-blooded; like I controlled it. Like we didn’t both close our eyes and pretend I was a slave.’ He made himself say the exposing words. ‘I was your slave.’
he’s right. nothing much to add here. damen wasn't just literally laurent's slave, he had devoted himself emotionally as well, and he's admitting it here despite the fact that it makes him vulnerable—something laurent is too much of a (traumatized, understandable) coward to do himself. i love damen's characterization so much
‘There was no slave,’ said Laurent. ‘He never existed. I don’t know what manner of man stands before me now. All I know is that I am facing him for the first time.’ ‘He is here.’ His flesh ached as if he had been prised open. ‘We are the same.’
this gives us some insight to laurent’s actions in book 1—not necessarily excusing them, but making them fit better into what we’ve since learned about his moral code. it ties things together, which isn’t the same as making them simpler or easier to like. pacat is very very VERY good at establishing continuous moral ambiguity in her characters, and does not rush the slow burn of making ends meet. so when she does eventually begin to connect things, it’s satisfying, because it hasn’t been all been spelled out the whole time so readers don’t have to think for themselves. this, in reference to a lot of the series’s more problematic themes, is exactly why i think people end up seeing capri as apologism or glamorization. but by claiming that, i also think they’re exposing themselves as impatient, shallow, and (sorry) simply lazy.
but i don't just want to be reductive and uncharitable, because that would be shallow and lazy too. to be perfectly clear, i honestly can't blame people for disliking this series, and not being willing or able to have patience and understanding for its more problematic elements. this series is marketed as romance/erotica. it started as indulgent kink fic. it ended up evolving into its current state during its development—and i'm really glad it did, but that doesn't change the fact that so much of its marketing and premise imply certain things that it doesn't quite deliver. and if you look up the series today, as it's still being published years after its completion, it's still marketed in a way i find somewhat misleading. to the extent that when i picked it up, it was in an intentional attempt to expand my own horizons—i wanted to challenge myself with indulgent shameless problematic porn/romance, as opposed to the weak-ass "enemies" to lovers running rival bakeries gay romance novels with canva covers that haven't worked for me in the past. the logic was basically, "well, if i don't like romance on that side of the scale, maybe i'll like the opposite extreme, or at least learn more about what i don't like." and i did feel pretty challenged during book 1, to the point that for a while i only kept reading out of morbid curiosity and vague horniness rather than any genuine expectation of depth or satisfying storytelling. it was only around the assassination scene in book 1 that i started to see the book as something capable of more depth and intrigue than just like kinky debauchery, and it pretty much just snowballed from there. and as someone who frequently reads about these dark topics in other genres and contexts, i was familiar enough with the things happening on the page to at least stomach them and push foward.
however, if i was coming at the series from a different place—like if i loved cozy romance and had very little familiarity with reading about these topics—i can see the first book especially being very blindsiding and distressing, and not wanting to engage with it further. that's not laziness, it just means that the book wasn't for me.
and the nuance doesn't end there. one of the things i love most about this series is that, even if i was just looking for shameless slavekink porn and decidedly did not want to rise to the occasion of depth or thematic exploration, i would also walk away unsatisfied. because the truly problematic shit in these books is not shameless at all, and indulgence never comes without a cost. there are a few distasteful moments that make me roll my eyes, and the garden scene definitely prompts a Conversation—but as a whole, i think pacat is very aware of the moral implications of these themes. and i also think she's perfectly aware of the fact that many people get off on them.
this series almost feels like an accidental study of, like, the psychological implications of being a person compelled by dub-con and problematic kink, finding a sort of gratification in situations where those things ar kind of inevitable (like they are for damen in book 1). AND this is made even more complicated and brave by the fact that laurent is, very relevantly, a victim of serious sexual assault. like, as hot as some of the scenes in this book are, i really don't think it makes itself easy for people to just uncritically get themselves off to. it doesn't encourage shame, but it does encourage introspection. and a lot of people simply don't read erotica and romance to introspect. (couldn't be me though. if it isn't clear, i love the laurent of vere "having insane mindfucking sex fully clothed across the room" approach to eroticism).
i feel like it's actually kind of funny that i specifically got here, as a person who almost always reads books that force dark introspection, and assumed that this erotica/romance book would be mindless, but ended up with gestures vaguely instead. for me, coming across this series and realizing what it truly is was an incredibly happy accident. but for others, i completely understand how it could be the exact opposite, and it's not lazy or shallow to realize that you misunderstood what you were getting yourself into and step away.
what is lazy and shallow, though, is to either DNF and review based on those misconceptions, or keep reading simply to fuel your own disdain and discomfort. ultimately, i think that the true error of people who walk into capri wanting shameless porn or untroubling romance is the fact that they keep reading, even when it becomes clear that the book isn't doing that. and then they decide to evaluate the book based on expectations and standards that aren't the ones the author or fans have for the work itself. people seem to take out their anger towards the SUBJECTS of slavery or rape in fiction themselves on capri, rather then the way capri specifically portrays them. either because they fucking stopped reading the book and just wanted to go on a tangent on the topics in general, or hate-read to confirm their own pre-existing bias.
my point is, nobody has to read things that trigger or upset them, and it's okay to just pass on fictional stuff that makes you feel bad or frustrated. aspects of this series made me feel bad and frustrated, even on re-read, but i enjoy the intellectual and emotional exercise of exploring those feelings and better understanding the true meaning and purpose of the art. but there are certain topics in other works of fiction that i'm unwilling to explore, which would cause me to simply stop reading, and if asked for a review i'd just say that i'm not the right person to say. and there have been many times where i've continued reading a book, hoping it would change directions, and ended up just being like, "yeah, that wasn't for me," and moving on.
the exchange "there was no slave, he never existed" "here is here, we are the same" is almost a meta-commentary on the reception of the series as a whole. it would be dishonest to deny how this series started, and some of the themes and subjects it intentionally confronts. you can't say "there was no slave [kink], [it] never existed" because the narrative proceeded to be more of a commentary on kink rather than an uncritical display of it. kink, and dark topics in fiction in general, do all have depth, and while they might not be for everyone, they are for someone. exploring that depth is entirely optional, and i understand why people with certain experiences don't want anything to do with that exploration. but our personal tastes don't change the fact that subjects like slavery and rape exist, and that reality is inseparable from the stories that come from it. ultimately, the choice is whether we're willing to take that specific reality thoughtfully on, or else just walk away.
the people i have the hardest time with are the ones who choose neither of those options. like, what do you even get out of continuing to read something that you're unwilling to explore in good faith, or that you straight-up hate? just read something else. we only have so much time in the day. stop wasting yours, and stop wasting the time of people who actually enjoy the thing with your useless bad-faith criticism. sorry this tangent has totally departed from the chapter itself, but that really is what pisses me off so much about current-day online book culture. like, i'm thinking about all of those smug-looking booktubers making 2 hour videos called "i read [name of book that doesn't appeal to the lowest common denominator of people] so you don't have to." i know how long it takes to read books thoughtfully, and then to write, film, and edit videos. maybe stop wasting your own time and dig into something you love instead, or even try to make your own thing, and just hope that some smug asshole on the internet doesn't decide to do to your work what you've done to other people's work. but no, lazy cynicism and appealing to the easy gimmick of cringe is way more profitable, i guess. and it makes you less vulnerable to people criticizing work that came from your soul, because the work you're creating is completely soulless.
anyway. i wonder what kind of totally normal things damen and laurent are up to in the chapter i'm annotating
‘Kneel then,’ said Laurent. ‘Kiss my boot.’
"if you really are still a slave, even though we both know you’re a king, then do a demeaning slave thing right now"
He looked into Laurent’s excoriating blue eyes. The impossibility of it was like a sharp pain. He couldn’t do it. He could only gaze at Laurent across the distance between them. The words hurt. ‘You’re right. I’m not a slave,’ he said.
can’t indulge in the kink anymore by circumstantial necessity, but i’m sure they’ll find something even weirder to do instead on purpose
‘I am the King.’ He said, ‘I killed your brother. And now I hold your fort.’ As he spoke, Damen drew out a knife. He felt rather than saw all of Laurent’s attention swing to it. The physical signs were small: Laurent’s lips parted, his body tensed. Laurent didn’t look at the knife. He kept his eyes on Damen, who looked right back at him. ‘So you will parley with me as with a king, and you will tell me why you called me here.’ Deliberately, Damen tossed the knife onto the floor of the tent.
okay this is just extra of him, but i mean laurent got to do “hello lover” so damen deserves to be dramatic too as a treat. i also like what this symbolizes, as opposed to their previous knife moments. as defined by their stations, they don’t have a power imbalance anymore, and they don’t have a reason to be enemies. they are a prince and a king, not a master and a slave. they are military allies, teaming up against the regent. any power imbalance and beef they have now is emotional, complicated, and abstract, nothing clear-cut (haha) enough to be represented by an instrument of simple violence like a knife. and damen summarizes this perfectly, in the context of their previous knife moments, by viscerally reminding laurent of those encounters and then just tossing the thing across the room.
honestly, i bet laurent feels jealous of the clever performative gesture. and maybe a little turned on, too, despite the horrors. that’s a fun reversal.
‘Didn’t you know?’ said Laurent. ‘My uncle is in Akielos.’
yeah, he got a really good all-inclusive deal at the akielion sandals resort and needed a vacation after all of the murder and [redacted]
#sam reads capri#capri#captive prince#kings rising#laurent of vere#damen of akielos#lamen#i go on a long rant about capri's reputation and current day book reviewer culture in this one
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Reader going from being Gojo's lover to being his worst enemy part l
Pairing: Gojo x fem!reader; Geto x fem!reder (18+)
Word Count: 2,6k
Synopsis: You were always the perfect girlfriend for Satoru Gojo: innocent, quiet and weak. Until something inside you snapped. Until you decided you don't want to be weak anymore. Until you realized that Satoru Gojo isn't your lover, but your enemy...
Warnings: big ass tw for anyone who isn't into dark reader, smut in Geto's part (you will be warned in the fic), reader going absolutely crazy, cheating, language, violence, Gojo is a bit of a jerk in this, couldn't bring myself to proofread so excuse spelling mistakes
Notes: I know you guys wanted this in one part but honestly, I've been so depressed these last weeks that I simply wasn't able to write that much. I thought one part is better than nothing though and I hope I'll be able to post part ll within the next days 🤍 If you don't mind, let me know what you think, your support means so much!
“(y/n), are you alright?”
“There’s absolutely no reason to go this hard on her, jerk.”
You stare into the blue sky above, hating yourself for the way your eyes start to sting in tears, for how weak you are. No, not again. Don’t cry in front of all of them because of something so minor. But no, this isn’t something minor.
He beat you again.
“If you want to get better than rank 4, you have to try harder, babe”, your boyfriend jeers at you.
How many times did he say that already? You lost count a long time ago. It’s a miracle that you’re still alive, given the fact that Gojo Satoru seems to lose his patience with you more and more.
No wonder. After all, you are his girlfriend. How is it even possible for the strongest jujutsu sorcerer of this time to have a girl of rank 4? You’ve been stuck with your poor abilities since joining jujutsu high, only able to sneak into training because your parents are friends of the Gojo clan.
It shouldn’t surprise you. Your life has always been like this: useless and puny. No matter how hard you try, no matter how much you train, you’ll never be as good as Satoru, Suguru and Shoko. You are nothing more than their shadow, doomed to watch them from the side-lines.
“Hey, are you alright, (y/n)? That looked pretty rough”, Suguru interferes gently while helping you to get up on your wobbly legs.
“You can at least say sorry, y’know? There was absolutely no reason to beat her this hard when she’s already down”, Shoko barks towards your boyfriend.
“Oh don’t worry babe, there isn’t enough space for two legends in this relationship anyway”, Satoru jokes while wrapping his arm around your clearly bruised shoulder tightly.
Even though all you want to do is cry and hide, you force a smile onto your lips. Yes, this is what you always do. Staying by his side, looking pretty and innocent while smiling kindly. Maybe this is your purpose in life, maybe this is everything you could ask for. Many girls are getting blue over the fact that Satoru is your boyfriend. You aren’t in the position to ask for more power, for the strength to stand up for yourself. So many people would kill for a life like yours.
You should be thankful.
Right?
…Right?
-the mission-
“I’m here to save you again, (y/n)! Hey, are you cryin’?”
You hate the way hot tears stream down your face, body too weak to fight against the debris that buried you.
“If I was crying, would you console me? I’d definitely like that”, you hear Mei Mei purr from the other side
“Oh you wouldn’t cry Mei. You’re strong.”
“Hey, how dare you to talk about (y/n) like that!?”, Utahime cries out.
Your mind goes blank, body sinking into the dirt.
“Oh, you wouldn’t cry Mei. You’re strong.”
Those words. Those oh so cruel words repeat themselves over and over in your mind. He surely didn’t mean it like that, didn’t wanted to hurt you. After all, Satoru just wants to look out for you, he’s always there to help you out. His words shouldn’t hit you with full force, you shouldn’t feel this burning inside your chest, your hands shouldn’t start trembling.
You let out the shaky breath you didn’t know you were holding, eyes staring into distance. But they do and force a stinging feeling up from deep within along with one single thought.
You have enough.
Enough of smiling kindly all the time. Enough of letting others push you around and pick on you. Enough of even Satoru making fun of you. Enough of being nothing but his innocent girlfriend to the world. Enough of all the fighting, all the hiding.
For the first time in forever, you don’t force a smile onto your lips but furrow your eyebrows instead. You are…more than that.
“Don’t listen to that guy…”, you hear Utahime mumble next to you while she frees your body.
As if in trance, you follow her back up, the new feeling you just discovered tickling underneath your skin.
“She knows I didn’t mean it like that. Right baby?”
But instead of hearing the usual low “yes” coming from your lips immediately, you just stand there and stare at him before turning on your heels and leaving.
Satoru’s eyes widen. You. Leaving him standing in the rain?
“Did you hear me say something to you, babe?”, he shouts after you.
You don’t even hear him anymore, blood rushing through your ears. No more excuses, no more playing the victim, the lover. Your hands are still clenched into tight fist while you leave without turning your head.
That’s enough.
“I’m…more than that”, you mumble to yourself while staring at your naked reflection in the bathroom mirror.
You just need to work even harder, train yourself even better, change your mindset. No, you aren’t only Satoru Gojo’s girlfriend. You are powerful as well, you can feel it tickling in your fingertips.
So you worked your ass off in silence. Trained when nobody was watching, read countless books, started to introduce you to yourself.
“Beat you again!”, Satoru announces proudly while you let him throw your body into the air.
But something inside you stops you from letting all that progress show on the surface. You force the usual small smile onto your lips, let your boyfriend treat you like the dirt underneath his shoes. Over and over, without anybody noticing that something has changed.
No, you aren’t the little (y/n) they all know anymore. You are so much better than that, so much stronger than what they see in you.
Your fingers dig into the sides of the sink until it bursts under your lilac touch. Fuck this whole jujutsu high, fuck the way they all smile down at you. Fuck the way Satoru sees you as nothing but his personal toy. A maniac grin creeps up your face, violent laughter shaking your body in the middle of the night while you stare into your own stone-cold eyes.
This ends right here and now. And you will show them when the time is right.
-next week-
Will surprise Suguru this evening for his birthday. Try not to get killed while I’m gone. Love ya <3
You huff to yourself, the arrogance dripping from your boyfriend’s text message almost unleash your powers in the middle of your dorm.
No, you need to get a hold of yourself at least a little longer. After all, a few more hours won’t hurt over the fact that you went through this for over 4 years by now.
But today, you will make Satoru Gojo pay for the countless times he made fun of you. Today, you will wipe that cheeky grin off his face. Oh, how much you long for the moment when reality hits him with full force, when he finds out what your capable of.
How will he react when he finds out that you, a grade 4 sorcerer, are able to use hollow purple before he does? How will he react when he finds out his girlfriend fucked his best friend before disappearing into thin air and becoming his worst enemy? You worked on this plan for so long, replayed it over and over in your head. But now it’s time. Today, you will make the whole jujutsu world pay for all the things they did to you.
With a satisfied grin, you pull the exquisite pair of stockings you just bought for this exact moment up your legs, looking at yourself in the mirror. Oh, those black dessous definitely suit you well. Perfect for seducing the best friend of your boyfriend.
You put a simple dress on and get going. Well, is it necessary to fuck with Suguru? Absolutely not. You could just disappear right here and now and continue your plan. But where would be the fun of it? Just the thought of seeing that look of horror on Satoru’s eyes when he realizes you aren’t the girl he knows anymore, him not only losing his girlfriend, but his best friend as well. He deserves a little pain for all the things he said to you, for the countless times he made you feel worthless.
Exactly 30 minutes left until Satoru will arrive at Suguru’s doorstep as well. 30 minutes to seduce your boyfriend’s best friend, 30 minutes that will change your life forever. Are you ready to let go of the sweet and innocent girl you were, the easy life you had in the eyes of others as Satoru’s girlfriend without any power?
“Hell yes”, you mumble to yourself, heart almost beating out of your chest while you knock against his door.
Geto was always a true sweetheart, the one who always stood up for you even against Satoru. His oh so charming smile, his inviting hands, his character made of pure gold. He really doesn’t deserve what comes next.
But power demands sacrifice and pain. Maybe he’ll understand.
As soon as he opens the door, you crumble in front of him and cry. Crocodile tears stream down your face in rivers, shaky hands covering your face.
“(y/n), what’s wrong? Did someone hurt you? Come on, get in!”
His hand is placed on your back and pushes you softy into the middle of the room. Instead of saying another word, he simply wraps his inviting arms around you.
“Satoru…”, you mumble.
You can clearly see the way his jaw tenses. It’s nothing new to Suguru to see you cry because of his best friend. Geto told him over and over to treat you better, to not be so rough, to look after you in a caring way. And even though he always admired how well you kept your composure, moments like this one happened once in a while.
Nothing noticeable, right?
You burry your head against his chest, arms wrapped around his neck. Oh, you never noticed how tight his muscles are, how trained he is underneath that wide uniform.
Time to take it off.
“I can’t take it anymore, Suguru”, you cry it.
Well, at least this isn’t a lie. Before he’s able to stop you, you press your lips against his. Suguru feels so different, tastes sweeter than Satoru with a hint of mint. Your hands cramp around his neck, force him to stay in place while he looks at you with his eyes widen.
“(y/n)…Please stop”, he breathes out.
Stopping? Why does he press his body against yours, then? Why do his lips start to move against yours in sync, his eyes slowly but surely fluttering shut? Suguru always held a special place for you in his heart.
And you’ll use this spark of weakness against him.
“I can’t”, you mutter against his lips while pushing him towards his bed.
He grabs your hips when you force him to sit down on his bed, dark eyes gazing up at you like in trance.
“We can’t…(y/n), this is wrong in so many ways, Satoru is my best friend-“
“I am your friend too”, you interrupt him, hand gliding up and down his chest.
“I heard it when you said that Satoru doesn’t deserve me.”
He lets out his breath, whole body tensed up like stone underneath your merciless touch. You let yourself glide onto his lap, let yourself fall onto his already rock-hard erection. No, there’s absolutely no doubt in the fact that Suguru wants you.
And that your plan will work.
“I always wanted you more. You were always so good to me, Suguru. Now let me be good to you”, you hush oh so innocent.
His eyes roll into his skull, a pained expression painted on his face while he fights for what seems like dear life underneath your merciless touch. Your words do things to him he’d never dare to speak out. Damn, Satoru is his best friend, you’ve been his girlfriend for over 4 years and right now, you’re sitting on his lap. Right now, he can’t help but imagine you underneath him while groaning his name into his ear with your sweet voice.
“Fuck”, he hisses through gritted teeth, arms pushing you harder against his pants.
Your hips start to move on their own, sensitive spot rubbing over and over against him until your wetness covers his clothes delicately, a low groan escaping his lips before he can stop himself.
Enough of that. Without thinking twice, you unzip his pants and push them down his muscular legs, heat radiating through your whole body. This is absolutely hot, so exciting that you almost come from the sheer thought of fucking Suguru. But what excites you even more is that Satoru might walk through this door every given minute in order to surprise his best friend…
“Suguru”, you moan into the thick air as soon as his fingertips brush over your clit.
“(y/n)”, he growls against your ear, head hidden against your neck.
“(y/n)…”
Your heart skips a beat, fingers digging deeper into Suguru’s skin. Yes, this is it. The moment you’ve been waiting for, the moment you’ve begged for. As if in slow motion, you turn your head around.
There he stands, bright blue orbs widen in horror while he stares at you and Suguru.
“Didn’t expect you here”, you lie, a satisfied grin plastered on your face.
Elegantly, you get up from Suguru’s lap and put your panties up.
“(y/n)…you….you fucked my best friend”, the white-haired boy breathes out.
“I need to make an announcement.”
His numb eyes dart towards you. You, the girl he loved for over four years. You, the cute and innocent (y/n) he was always proud of, the girlfriend literally any guy could ask for. You…you aren’t capable of something like that. You can’t even stand up for yourself and now…Now you’re fucking his best friend?
“See this as my first act of revenge for all those years you pushed me around like the dirt underneath your shoes, Gojo.”
The way you spit his last name at him almost sweeps him off his feet.
“What the hell are you talking about? I was always good to you and you…you just fucked my best friend”, he shouts, the numb undertone in his eyes changing into pure rage.
“Good to me? You treated me like a hamster, like your weak little pet. But let me tell you, I’m not that weak girl you taught me to be anymore.”
Roughly, you grab his wrist, light the whole room purple.
“(y/n)…”, you hear Suguru breathe out behind you.
“This can’t be true.”
Satoru’s free hand yanks towards your body, aims for control all over again. It has always been like this. Gojo, who thinks the world belongs exclusively to him. Gojo, who thinks he can treat you like a price. Gojo, who thinks you can’t live without him.
“Don’t you dare to touch me ever again”, you purr at him, escaping his grasp with ease while pushing him so hard that he stumbles backwards.
“You aren’t my boyfriend anymore. From now on, you are my enemy. And I’ll never let you forget about that, Gojo Satoru.”
Tags:
@arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @mokoartpost @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @wxwieeee @lovelyluna1 @froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso @gojosrealwife @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain @risuola @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr @kayleegomez @belovedvamp @wifenanami @chilichopsticks @dlwlrmas-world @oikawarz @darkstarlight82 @satoreo @luwumii @tachiharazsstuff @kentocalls @cheesemachine44 @ryva @kenjakusconcubine @baku2345 @komelrebi-san @deezy12299@busyreader17 @4pgletter @okay-it-is-ivy @iluvtoru
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#jujutsu gojo#jjk gojo#gojo saturo#gojou satoru x reader#jjk fanworks#jjk fanfic#jjk hurt#jjk hurt/comfort#reader fic#reader imagine#x reader#female reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojo x geto#geto x you#geto suguru#geto x reader#geto smut#geto x y/n#suguru
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