#That awkward moment when some random purple armed witch comes out of the woods to congratulate a cotton candy clown on killing everyone

[thebananaiscold]

[kurokoros]

Bippity Boppity Oops!

For @ochakos-trashcan for the Halloween fic exchange! This is longer than expected and kind of weird, so enjoy!

Ochako has never been the best with spells. It’s not that she doesn’t understand how to do them, it’s just that her mind tends to wander and she stops reading the words right. She’s always been a little absentminded, but most o her friends find it more endearing than anything else. While she might not be the best at spell casting, Ochako is nothing less than determined to do her absolute best. Besides, in most cases a backfired spell has no real consequences. They come with fail-safes, in a way, little reassurances for the ever present “oh shit” moment that comes with being a witch. No one has ever died from Ochako miscasting a spell. Sure, Kirishima lost his hair once, and Tsuyu was stuck with a purple tongue for a day, but things certainly could have been much, much worse.

This is much, much worse than either of those things combined.

This is something she doesn’t know how to fix.

Ochako bites her lip as she glances at her bed, nervous gaze flickering between the small, furry creature glaring at her from her pillow and the spellbook on her lap, wondering how she could have messed things up so spectacularly. It was only supposed to be a simple spell, really. It wasn’t supposed to end up like this.

On her bed, Bakugou twitches, glaring between her and his fluffy tail, his ears flat against the top of his head as he hissed at his sleek new appendage. He practically bristles, looking about ready to blow something up. Ochako doesn’t know if he can still perform magic like this, but she’d rather not find out. Bakugou exploding things is stressful enough on a good day; Ochako doesn’t think she could handle seeing the ball of fluff on her bed cackling maniacally and setting things on fire.

Be that as it may, she’s very proud of him for not lighting her room on fire so far. He’s showing a large amount of control all things considered. She isn’t sure if it’s because he actually likes her in some way or another or if his fluffy paws don’t allow him to cast magic, but he hasn’t started yelling or threatening to scratch her eyes out, so it’s an improvement of how things could have been.

Clearing her throat, Ochako crosses her legs beneath her, shifting awkwardly as Bakugou stands on wobbly legs, taking an awkward step, limbs stiff. His claws pull at the yarn of her quilt, and she winces when he causes a snag, but she doesn’t say a word, not wanting to unintentionally make things worse.

He stumbles around like a baby for several seconds, hissing something she can’t hear under his breath. His tail puffs up to three times its former size, his pupils nearly blocking out the red in his eyes.

“Bakugou,” she starts slowly, unsure what to say that won’t sound stupid, “I know this looks bad…” She trails off when Bakugou sends her the nastiest look he can manage as a cat. “Umm, I can fix it?”

He looks at her like he wants to scratch her eyes out, but doesn’t say a word, though she expects him to curse and scream and cause her landlord to bust down her door. The last thing she needs is her entirely normal old landlord to have a heart attack when he sees her talking cat.

Bakugou’s eye twitches and then suddenly he begins to yowl in the most ungodly way imaginable.

Ochako sighs and slaps a hand onto her forehead. “I’m calling Kirishima.

Ochako is absentmindedly playing with Bakugou’s tail and ignoring his glare on the side of her face when she hears a knock at the door, muffled voices coming from the other side of her apartment, laughter and mumbled words of concern. Someone snickers, and then there’s a smacking sound and a yelp.

Kirishima and Kaminari. Great. She sighs, running a tired hand down the side of her face and trying not to scream. Kirishima’s help she appreciates. He’s the only one that can really calm Bakugou down when he starts screaming and lighting things on fire in his adult tantrum kind of way. Kaminari not so much. Usually he just antagonizes Bakugou, and that’s the last thing any of them need right now.

Scooping up Bakugou in her arms, Ochako leaves her room, ignoring Bakugou’s grumbled threats. His long tail tickles her bare leg, flicking madly, a testament to his irritation.

“Put me down,” he demands, nails digging into her arm. He glares at her, baring his teeth, but she only sends him an unimpressed look.

“No.” Her reply is simple, but he takes it about as well as expected. A low growl rumbles in his throat, Bakugou beginning to struggle in her arms, short legs scrambling for purchase as he’s dangled nearly five feet in the air. “Bakugou! Knock it off!” As much as she would like to put him down, she doesn’t really feel like dropping him. Cats always land on their feet, but Bakugou is turning out to be a lousy cat.

“Uraraka, I said--”

She cuts him off before he can finish. “I know what you said and I don’t care,” she snaps at the struggling feline. Bakugou blinks back at her, pouting, but he stops struggling. For a moment, she almost feels bad for him, his kitty face more adorable than his usual grumpy face. As much as she’s panicking about this, she can’t even begin to imagine how he must be feeling.

There’s another loud knock at the door before she makes it halfway across the living room. “Bakugou!” Kirishima yells through the wood. “Are you dead? Did you murder Uraraka before we could get here?” Her eye twitches at the thought, but she keeps her mouth shut, aware that Kiri uses humor to cover his stress. Sometimes she wishes she could do the same, but there’s really nothing to laugh about in this situation. At least, nothing to laugh about that wouldn’t get her eyes scratched out by a pissy feline.

“I wish,” Bakugou grumbles, finally settling into her arms, though he doesn’t look happy about it. She doesn’t know if he’s referring to himself or to her, but she decides she really doesn’t want to know. Ochako pinches the tip of his tail and he hisses at her.

“Shut up, Kiri!” Ochako mumbles, glaring at the door. Bakugou scrambles onto her shoulder and she crosses her arms, tapping her foot impatiently. Really, all she wants to do is take a nap and never look at her spellbook again. She’s utterly convinced at this point that Kirishima and Mina fucked with her book and switched out the Latin when she wasn’t looking. And if they did, well, Cat Bakugou can be their problem, not hers.

She sighs. “Door’s open!”

“You better be wearing clothes, you two,” Kaminari jokes, snickering to himself. The doorknob jiggles and Ochako rolls her eyes, in no mood for their jokes at the moment. There’s another whacking sound, and a yelp, and then silence.

Bakugou’s tail flicks. “I’m not.”

She nearly throws him off her shoulder as she turns to glare at him. “Bakugou!” Her cheeks turn a bright cherry color, her heartbeat skyrocketing. He sends her a bored look in response, nails digging into her shoulder to steady himself. Any other day she would praise him for being honest, but now is definitely not the time for it.

“Too late!” Kirishima calls before kicking down the door. It bangs harshly against the wall and Bakugou jumps, the hair on his spine standing on end.

“Bakugou,” Kaminari begins, glancing around the room with a frown, trying to find where his friend is hiding, completely ignoring the random cat sitting on her shoulder. “Where are--what the fuck?” He blinks stupidly at the cat that happens to be Bakugou. Bakugou glares at him, hissing, and Kaminari cocks his head to one side curiously, confusion clear on his face.

Kirishima glances between her and the feline, seeming unsure what to say. Ochako has never expressed any interest in getting a cat, and even if she did her landlord would never allow it. “When did you buy a cat?” he asks her, slow and even, something like recognition forming in his eyes though he looks horrified at the thought.

“I didn’t,” she tells them simply, hoping she doesn’t need to spell it out for them. She already feels silly enough over what happened, she really doesn’t need their input.

Bakugou isn’t quite as tactful. “It’s me you dumbasses,” he sneers, standing on her shoulder and huffing. He moves to leap from her shoulder, but she stops him before he can go far, aware that he’s more likely to scratch someone’s eyes out than cuddle up to them. He may look adorable and fluffy, but she knows better than to think he isn’t the devil incarnate when he wants to be.

She made the worst combination. Bakugou is practically a psychotic pyromaniac and cats are literally Satan and squishing them together is bad for her health. And what’s worse is that she has no idea how to fix him. It would have been mildly entertaining if she merely turned him into a fluffy kitty for a few minutes, but this? This is about as awful as things can get. Not to mention that some spells become permanent after several hours, especially the curses.

Not that she cursed Bakugou. At least, not on purpose.

Kaminari’s mouth drops open in shock. Kirishima only blinks, his lips twitching as if he’s unsure whether or not to laugh. As amusing as the situation may be in the future, Ochako is halfway to a panic attack and Bakugou looks ready to claw someone’s eyes out.

“Dude,” Kaminari begins, sighing heavily, clearly exasperated, “please tell me you didn’t buy a cat to fuck with us.” He crosses his arms, unimpressed, and Ochako suddenly feels like strangling him. Kaminari squints at Bakugou before peering around the room, as if he’s hiding somewhere and making the cat’s mouth move just to fuck with them. Kirishima raises a dubious brow, and Bakugou growls, his nails digging into her arm as she squeezes him tight against her.

“Why would I buy a cat?” Bakugou yowls, finally leaping from her arms before she can stop him. He growls at Kaminari, clawing his way up his pant leg. He settles on Kaminari’s shoulder, swatting at him as he continues to shout, “I don’t even like cats!” He hisses and spits, Kaminari screaming and flailing to throw him off. “That’s not even a good prank, you dumbass mother--”

Ochako cuts him off, smiling awkwardly at Kirishima, both of them ignoring the screaming pair. “I, umm, had a little accident while practicing today.” She scurries over to Kaminari’s side and pulls Bakugou off of him, a dozen lovely red marks decorating Kaminari’s face, his hair a mess from Bakugou’s clawing. The cat--Bakugou--huffs in her arms, but doesn’t fight her, too busy glaring at Kaminari to care about her cradling him and playing with his tail.

“Well shit,” Kirishima mumbles, looking utterly bewildered about the situation. “Did you try reversing it?” Ochako glares at him for insinuating it, and the three of them begin to bicker as they try to figure out exactly what’s going on.

Kaminari squints, shifting so he’s half-hidden behind Kirishima, using him as a shield. His expression turns an odd combination of pensive and mischievous. “Did you try kissing him?” he asks them.

“What the fuck?” Bakugou yowls. He squirms and she drops him, face coloring to a rather dashing shade of scarlet. All of the blood rushes to her face, her hands feeling sweaty, and she barely has the sense to grab Bakugou again before he can kill Kaminari for real this time.

“Me?” she sputters out, a warm feeling spreading through her stomach and chest. Briefly, she imagines kissing him, a fantasy that she would never admit to thinking about on a regular basis. Bakugou’s cursing shoves the thought from her mind, however.

Karishima frowns, but nods slowly. “Yeah, you know, Denki might be right, for once.” Ochako looks at him like he’s completely lost it, and Bakugou starts screaming again. “I mean, isn’t that what usually happens in fairy tales when one of them is turned into an animal?” he asks, shrugging like it makes perfect sense.

Ochako’s mouth drops open. “Why do I have to kiss him?” she blurts, glancing down at Bakugou awkwardly before turning back to Kirishima. “Why don’t you kiss him!” She jabs a finger in his direction.

“No one is kissing me,” Bakugou hisses, shooting Kiri a nasty look, tail flicking angrily.

Kiri just shrugs again, exasperated. “Fine, stay a grumpy cat forever, Bakugou,” he drawls sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “Want to watch Hocus Pocus?” he asks Ochako and Kaminari.

“Hell yeah.”

“Fuckers.”

None of them are sure what they should be doing. Ochako has tried to reverse the spell twice since the boys showed up, Kirishima has corrected the book’s shitty Latin for her, and Kaminari has been providing them with snacks, popping popcorn excruciatingly slowly as she and Kiri tried to figure out just what was happening. Kirishima tried a different spell on Bakugou meant to turn animals into humans, but all that happened was a dull popping sound and a flash of light that did absolutely nothing.

In a way, they were all just hoping things would go back to normal on their own, that maybe it was just some weird dream or the result of way too much alcohol, but evidently not. Bakugou is still a cat, Kaminari has eaten all of her snacks, Kirishima is just as lost as she is, and Ochako isn’t sure if she wants to cry or take a nap for six years.

In the end, they end up watching Hocus Pocus to take notes, Bakugou complained the entire time about the movie, though he eventually settled onto her lap and began to purr--which she really wishes she caught on her phone because Bakugou was purring.

After the movie, they threw a vial of fairy dust at him, which didn’t turn him back to normal, though it did make him float and cover him in glitter. Bakugou was not happy and Ochako will find glitter on her floor for the next twenty years.

Eventually, Kaminari loses a game of rock-paper-scissors with Kirishima and has to call Momo for assistance.

Ochako drums her fingers against her knee, glancing down at Bakugou, still nestled in her lap, tail flicking, though not in an irritated way this time. She scratches beneath his chin and he purrs loudly, leaning into her touch, though he doesn’t appear to notice it. “Maybe someone should kiss him,” she blurts, feeling her face color for even suggesting it. “I mean, it always works in the movies, right?”

It’s not like she wants to kiss Bakugou. Of course she doesn’t! Not even a little bit! But she doesn’t exactly want him to stay a cat forever wither.

Kirishima quirks a brow at her, and Ochako steadfastly ignores Bakugou’s eyes on her. “I kissed him once in college,” Kiri says dryly, “I did my time.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal, though there’s a mocking smile on his face when he looks at Bakugou, a joke she isn’t privy to. Bkugou merely rolls his eyes as best he can as a cat, huffing and turning his back to Kiri. He doesn’t yell for once, which is odd, but appreciated.

Kaminari walks back into the room “Momo and Jiro think I’m having a psychotic episode or I’m drunk and refuse to come over until I’m sober.”

“Awesome.”

They settle into an easy silence for a moment, Ochako lazily stroking Bakugou’s spine and Kirishima flipping through her spellbook for the twentieth time, looking for anything that could help them out. Kaminari plops down on the couch across from her, draping himself over the side of it, one foot tossed across Kirishima’s lap. If Kiri notices he doesn’t appear to care.

Ochako sighs and drops her head back to rest against the back of her chair, rocking it slightly, and hums to herself in an effort to distract her from how ridiculous all of this is. She turned Bakugou into a cat. She turned Bakugou into a cat. Of all the people she could turn into a cat it just had to be the most surly person she’d ever met. Then again, he did agree to help her in the first place, so technically he brought this upon himself.

Ochako peers down at Bakugou, eyes narrowed, a small frown pulling at her lips. He’s been oddly helpful lately, offering to help her with her magic even though he knows that she tends to fudge things up. He knows all of this and yet…

“So has Ochako kissed you yet?”

She nearly chokes at Kaminari’s question and ends up yanking on Bakugou’s fur, making him hiss. She sputters for a moment as she looks at Kaminari and Kirishima, both boys wearing sly smiles. Her mouth goes dry as she thinks of something to say, her tongue thick and sticking to the roof of her mouth when she sputters out, “why do you keep asking that!” It comes out more shrill than she means it to, and Bakugou winces, his ears sensitive.

Kaminari only shrugs, hiding a shit-eating grin behind a bowl of popcorn. “Because in stories kissing always solves everything.”

“No it doesn’t, Kaminari,” she mumbles, unsure whether to blush or wince. Because it’s not kissing that breaks the curses. No, it’s true love. Her face flames at the thought, and she bites her lip, holding in a sigh. Her face must fall, because Kirishima’s expression slips into one of concern. He doesn’t say anything, but Ochako thinks he must know what’s on her mind. He’s always been perceptive, even if he tries to pretend he’s not.

“Do you think maybe it’s because you’re an asshole?”

This time she does choke. “Excuse me?” she asks Kaminari, wide-eyed at the accusation. She hasn’t exactly done anything to warrant name calling today. At least, not from Kaminari, of all people.

His eyes widen, and he back-tracks when Bakugou begins to growl at him. “Not you Uraraka, you’re an angel!” His expression turns apologetic for a moment before he turns to look at the cat on her lap. “Bakugou, on the other hand, is the devil.” Well, she can’t really disagree with that.

Kirishima groans. “Do you really want him to scratch you again, Denki?” he hisses, rolling his eyes.

The last thing she needs is a catfight in her apartment at nearly eleven at night.

“Just listen!” He raises his hands in a pacifying gesture, glancing between Ochako and Kirishima slowly. “In Disney movies when people are turned into animals it’s because they need to stop being shitty people, right?” he asks them, dragging out the last word, prompting them to answer.

Kirishima starts to answer, but stops after a moment, eyes narrowing as he mulls it over. “Yeah, but Ochako is the one that turned him into a cat,” he reminds his friend. Honestly, Ochako almost wishes it was some cosmic force that cursed Bakugou for being an asshole to people. At least then it wouldn’t be her fault and they could potentially get Bakugou to become a nice person. Well, nicer person. She’s not going to push it.

“Well, I don’t see you coming up with any ideas, Kiri!”

“At least I’m doing something instead of coming up with shitty theories,” Kirishima counters, glaring at Kaminari and waving the spellbook in his hand, practically daring him to respond.

Ochako can feel a headache coming on.

The boys continue to bicker for several minutes, mostly about who’s doing what and “I’m coming up with ideas and “take your ideas and shove them up your--”

“Guys!” she shouts, cutting them off with as nasty of a glare as she can muster. She’s been on friendly terms with Bakugou for long enough to master his scowl by now, and it works wonders on the boys. “Could you please knock it off?” She practically hisses at them, and perhaps later she’ll feel bad for it, but right now she just wants them to shut up and let her think.

Kaminari looks away frist. “Sorry, Uraraka.”

“Yeah,” Kirishima adds, sending Bakugou a sly look before standing. “We’ll, uh, we’ll grab some dinner. Seafood?” He sends her a smile that’s so fake it nearly hurts her to look at, Kirishima more awkward than she’s ever seen him as he yanks Kaminari off the couch and begins dragging him to the door.

“But I don’t want--”

“Yes, you do. Shut up.”

The door slams shut behind them. Ochako gets the strangest feeling that they aren’t coming back.

Instead of worrying about it, she merely shakes her head and floats her book back over to her, absently flicking through the pages to try finding a counter spell, though she’s slowly losing hope that one might exist. Counter spells are always listed with their curses, just in case anything should go wrong, and there’s always a nullification spell as a last resort, but that hadn’t worked when Kirishima said the incantation. There was a poof! And then nothing. All they succeeded in doing was turning Bakugou into a Soot Sprite, which he was none too pleased about.

As if hearing her thoughts, Bakugou begins to growl under his breath, nails pricking at her skin. She blinks down at him, concerned, but Bakugou doesn’t notice. His tail twitches violently, and he swears under his breath, the hair on his back standing on end as he stares at something across the room, practically glaring at it. “What’s wrong with you, Grumpy?” she tries to joke, bit it falls flat, Ochako too exhausted to make proper jokes.

He glances at her over his shoulder, glaring. “Oh, I don’t know,” he bites out sarcastically, much more subdued than he usually is. By now he’s usually making things explode, but the worst he’s done so far today is pull out a chunk of Kaminari’s hair with his teeth, leaving a lovely bald spot on his head. “I’m a cat and everyone keeps telling me to kiss you,” he spits out, rigid on her lap.

She tries to ignore the sting of hurt that comes with his words, but there’s something crushing in the way he says it, like it’s the worst thing he can think of. The cat part she can understand, though she tends to look on the brighter side of things. On the other hand… “What’s wrong with kissing me?” she asks him, softer than she intends to. Ochako bites her bottom lip, worrying it as she waits for him to respond, afraid that he might mock her for it.

Because if she’s being honest with herself, she kind of likes Bakugou like, a lot. Probably more than she should.

He sighs and turns around so that he’s facing her, an annoyed look on his face. Her heart seizes, disappointment seeping into her bones at the anger in his eyes. “I’m a cat, Ochako,” he says suddenly. It’s honestly the last thing she expected him to say, more the cat thing than her name but that’s nearly as surprising. “A cat,” he repeats, stressing it.

She frowns. “So what?” She’s kissed plenty of cats before. Besides, it’s not like she was planning on making out with him while he’s like this. She doesn’t exactly want gobs of hair in her mouth the first time she kisses Bakugou for real.

“I can’t kiss you if I’m a cat,” he hisses at her, ears flattening against the top of his head. He looks more irritated than before, and she doesn’t know if it’s because she’s arguing with him or if it’s because she doesn’t seem hindered by the cat thing.

What really makes her pause is how much he’s stressing the cat part of the equation. She fully expected him to abhor kissing her, but he seems more reluctant because of the fur and whiskers part, rather than it being her. “Do you want to kiss me?” she asks suddenly, blinking at him owlishly.

“I don’t know, maybe?” If cats could blush, she thinks he would be. Bakugou tucks his head close to his chest, looking more bashful than anything else. His whiskers twitch and it’s honestly the most adorable thing she’s ever seen.

“Aww,” she coos at him, “Bakugou!” Ochako sits up, scooping him into her arms and lowering her face close to his, grinning so wide her face starts to hurt. She leans in just enough to place a kiss against his nose, making him twitch, his eyes blown wide.

Of course, that’s the exact moment Bakugou decides to stop being a cat.

There’s a poof and smoke and then Bakugou is leaning over her, cherry red and wide-eyed. His mouth drops open, but he doesn’t say a word, tongue-tied for the very first time since they met. Ochako giggles at his stunned expression and leans in to press another quick kiss on his mouth before pulling away. He doesn’t let her go far.