#Esp if your aro

[starryskiesstuff]

So I am Aromantic Asexual, and I’ve been thinking about hmm maybe it’s worth pursuing a qpr in the future. The only problem is that while I could see myself in a qpr with a person vaguely, I couldn’t see myself in a qpr with a man or woman. I’ve finally figured it out! Along with my gender identity!

I do not want kids, nor am I romantically attracted to anyone. Since a lot of gender roles revolve around parentage to me, and I’m also not interested in the social/societal roles of either gender, I didn’t feel like I have a gender. In a way that IS true, I act how I act, more like my identity as myself supersedes any call for gender to play a role in my behavior.

I wouldn’t consider myself non-binary since while I know otherwise, the term is used like there is a cohesive gender identity behind it. Genderqueer is probably closer to what’s in my head. I don’t really like using micro labels for myself, I’m sure if I wanted to be specific I could find like 10 but I’m not that interested.

But I digress. Ok so I don’t consider myself a man or woman great, what does that have to do with qprs?

WELL, since I consider myself an identity that exists outside gender and I couldn’t see myself in a qpr with a man or woman because a close relationship with a man or woman feels inherently romantic, even if it isn’t, because of my understanding of gender performance of one that wants those who perform it fit into societal roles. One of said societal roles is close ROMANTIC partnerships and by getting into a qpr with a man or woman I feel like I would be performing a gender role, which bothers me because I don’t consider myself with gender. I am Starry and that is it.

I dunno if that makes sense but we’ll roll with it.

In this whole essay I keep saying man or woman why is that? That is because while I would be uncomfortable partnering because gender, if the other person ALSO considered themselves out of the binary with a separate role, then I wouldn’t feel like I was performing gender.

So in the future any companions I have will be genderqueer probably. I dunno how I’d label this specific kind of attraction, since a label would feel like the beginnings of a gender role but also not everyone has a 5D level of understanding of gender and romance like I do. Eh its probably easier to leave people guessing.

TLDR: I consider myself separated from gender because of aroaceness and with that separation and my understanding of performing gender I couldn’t get into a qpr with a gendered person because it’d feel as if I were gendered by proxy but I could get in a qpr with a non-gendered person because I wouldn’t feel gendered by proxy

[maerhiya]

sometimes "don't give up" doesn't apply to every situation!! (stop pursuing someone who has already rejected you and has never shown any signs that they've changed their mind)

[ruthlesslistener]

If ace and arophobes really are coming back to tumblr then I'm not apologizing for how nasty I'll be to them btw. I've got no plans to seek them or their rhetoric out but if it happens organically then I'mma tear them bitches a new one and I don't care if it leads to them hatebombing me with death and rape threats again like they did when I was 14 and 17 <3 theres 10 million problems out there in the world that need solving but theoretical cishet men 'infiltrating' the queer community ain't one of them

[not-that-debonair]

society would be much improved if it were at least 10% more aromantic and I mean that earnestly

[lucifer-kane]

hey i don't mind that you reposted the screenshots at all i think it's entirely fair to do so but. can you please not link the tweets to people on this site? because idk if there are assholes lurking in the fandom space who know me on both accounts or if they're from outside and just want to troll but ive gotten hate anons about it already, one of which was. Violently arophobic, which i assume comes from me mentioning being aro in a tweet. ive turned off anons and im really sorry about this whole thing but i don't want to give people easier access to my twt account than they already have if possible.

-2nd person in the tweets

I can respect this 100%. (I want to say that anyone who's said they've seen the posts on twitter, I haven't sent the link to anyone and will continue to not, so they've found the post themselves) I just don't also like the things I've seen you said (on twitter) because they're blatantly untrue. Sure, you may have seen people say something or another about being upset that the ship isn't real or what fucking ever, but majority of the time, the criticism of Malev comes from a place of genuine critique.

Maybe I'm coming at this from a personal perspective of people talking about the wrong shit and refusing to criticize a creator they like, because this is very much a second happening of this, albeit, a different person. But VERY similar paths for both certain parts of fans (not wanting people to crit his show and saying there's something wrong with people doing this and you getting the facts wrong) going to bat for the creator (who SHOULD be listening to well informed and constructive CRITIQUES, which has been the MAJORITY of the criticism for YEARS)

[strawberrysweater]

augh the ot3 and saimatsu...... i just love themb so so so so so much there are so few ships i feel this strongly about... nine times out of ten if i "ship" something it's in a sorta hypothetical way where i hardly ever imagine them doing romantic things together and more just. i like them when they stand next to each other and their dynamic is good/silly/tragic/etc. but saimatsu and saiibomatsu make me so unwell (positive) like. if my aro romance repulsed ass is imagining a ship getting married i have it BAD for them ok

[lunarsanctuary]

i drew this to describe a fictional character's embarrassment during a discussion but i think this is just how it is actually.

[sick-as-a-dog]

×

[an-organized-confusion]

I had another silly thought.

So like. Gymrat!Roceit is a sexual/no-romo/qpp type of relationship.

And like they have this weird domestic sort of arrangement together - part of it being from a place of Janus just giving a shit about Roman on a human level than colored by romanticism. They have a pretty good time together which helps sweeten the arrangement up... if you know what I mean..

Also, Roman has a history of neglecting or not fully appreciating his health.

I just imagine Janus has either thought or said, “Gdi, I’m not losing the cutest disaster of a fucktoy I’ve ever had to himself. ISTG.“

This only got worse after Ro fucked up his kidneys (over-training + heat stroke + rhabdo + delayed treatment = Stage 3 CKD, in his case).

[reinemichele]

I think I need to go to bed, I understand Less now . And, I've spent Years begging for more Thanatos/Lost references, & Revo showed up with a bat (literally)

[luciphe-r]

btw if not being depressed means being this horned up im even more terrified of my teen asexual moment like that bitch shoulda been hospitalized how was i roaming the streets unchecked

[lovelessrage]

Usually I do a focus on positivity for different labels, but do want to do a quick shoutout for aroallos because I see so little rep and a lot of stigma. While sex aversion, esp in a community that shares a lot of members/experiences w/asexual people, is common, I do think there should be discussions around how we frame sexuality and some expressions of love in general. I see a lot of aroallos, even people close to me, express sentiments around feeling less-than or shallow for what attraction they have, and I think it's sourced from the same things that oppress all of us as a community.

It's a real shame when I can see that discrimination against aroallos comes from the love hierarchy placed on other aro labels, where some types of love [or just love in general] are placed on tiers, kinda like the hierarchy of needs, pyramid style. What that order is varies person to person, but I see sexuality often left on the bottom, as if it's fundamentally less important or more shallow, which is doubly hurtful when that's your major attraction.

Properly dismantling love focus and creating relationship anarchy doesn't JUST mean decentering love as necessary, it ALSO means dismantling the structures that frame certain types of love as dirtier or less-than. It goes both ways, from putting it on a pedestal to tearing it down, and I think if we're going to focus so much on the topic of deconstructing these ideals, aroallo perspective should be included.

To all aroallos, your attraction is your attraction. It's easier said than done to accept it, especially if people around you don't, but I hope this month is peaceful and welcoming to you. It's a struggle for everyone, but that doesn't mean your personal struggles are less than anyone else's in the community, nor does it mean you're less deserving of speaking your mind on it.

[Open for input on anything]

[Edit: a pro/shipper rbed this so making it clear I do NOT support pro/shippers. Ever. Get lost]

[norel-ravenclaw]

Aro/Ace Spectrum x Hazbin

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Featured characters: All x aro/ace spec reader

Rating: 18

Genre: FLUFFIEST OF FLUFF and aro/ace SOUL HEALING romance

Word count: 2500

Description: Dating the Hazbins as an aro/ace. These are based on my personal experience, what friends and the internet have told me, and I tried to keep things generic and up to interpretation - whether you want to see it as 100% non sexual or otherwise is up to you. Gotta say, this turned out better than I thought it would, hope you like it!

WARNINGS: | gender neutral reader | suggestive content that can be interpreted in mutiple ways | mild angst? | Valentino and Adam are included | slight yandere vibes here and there (Sera, Lilith esp) | i bully vox, mostly bc I still can’t believe I like this mf |

“Love is choice, after all. And they will choose you every day for the rest of eternity.”

Alastor -

Connection over drinks, spontaneous dances, occasional murder, and a lack of desire for the normal things brought you together. But as your odd friendship grows, you find yourselves drawn to domestic habits and more comfortable touch. It’s Alastor who proposes that you make your relationship something more official. He’d never wanted one before, but with you, it’s easy. Whatever the both of you are or aren’t feeling like is fine, when it comes to dinner or intimacy. Touch is to feel good, lounging in the bath is for simple warmth and company. You become as comfortable in your skin as you are with each other. While emotion and urges are largely lacking, the comfort of constancy together is everything. And more than enough for you both.

Lucifer -

To be honest, all of his exes were a bit emotionally unavailable, so when you tell him that you can’t feel much (if anything at all) it nearly sends him spiralling for a moment. But with a strained smile and a few drinks, he listens to you and realises, maybe this is exactly what he needs. Your honesty is a refreshing change after millennia of mind games, lies, and dancing around expectations. Whether you want touch or not is fine with him - he is happy to take care of you in any way you need (and himself, in any way you’re comfortable with). All he wants is to be with you - the person that has restored his hope and the colour to his life.

Sir Pentious -

While he may never have had the words to describe such things, they were just as common in his century as they are now. So when you first tell him, his first response is worry that he’s accidentally broken your boundaries. He adores you, and he’s willing to do anything to be worthy to be by your side. If he can be the one to make you happy, simply say the word of how you want to be courted! Of course he’s happy to invent things to make your life easier. Flowers, food, romantic sightseeing flights in his warship. His egg boys are quickly at your beck and call. If you’re comfortable with cuddling, he’ll wrap himself around you and make you feel so safe and cosy.

Husk -

Mr. ‘I lost the ability to love ages ago’ certainly understands, well, more or less. But then you start breaking all his rules and walls down. He knows your boundaries and will follow them respectfully. To be honest, he does want to touch you, as much as you’ll allow. But even if you don’t want that, just having you by his side is enough to clear his head and make him happy to live in the present again. He can be as romantic or as casual as you like, make a fuss over things or keep is cool. Praise and support for everything you do, advice when you need it. Just help him take care of his wings and help bring him back down to earth when he gets lost in his head and he’ll be your ride or die for the rest of your afterlife.

Angel Dust -

Touch and over the top sexual energy is the only way he really knows to act when it comes to lovers. So when you come into his life, suddenly he’s able to slow down, step back, and just… be. And there’s something so liberating about that. If you’re okay to cuddle, he’d love intimate touch that has no sexual expectations. If you want to be more comfortable with things, he’d go so slowly and praise you all the way. No performing, no rush, just the two of you together. He’d love to joke with you, take you around town. Buy you the most fashionable clothes, maybe jump into turf wars for kicks now and then. But he’ll be as tender and supportive as you need, no matter what. If ever you may feel like it, he has plenty of hands available to hold.

Charlie -

The most supportive and understanding of them all. Everything you are is what she needs and loves and hoped for. So whatever you want life to look like, she’ll do whatever it takes to make it reality. From pancakes in bed to renovating your own space in the hotel, your happiness is hers. Whatever touch you’re comfortable with, she’ll work really hard to never make you feel crowded or overwhelmed. Tucking hair behind your ear or holding hands, candlelight dinners or dates to the best spots in hell. (Her credit card is loaded and ready to be used for you.) No matter how much you can feel, you can be sure she’ll feel enough love and affection for you both.

Vaggie -

She was a soldier, and having seen all types of personalities in that role, there’s no discrepancy in her mind between lack of feeling and a desire to love and protect. Her love is steady and calm, as attached or distant as you need it. Hell is never a safe place, so she’ll protect you from anything that could hurt you, emotionally or otherwise. Have enemies that will be arriving in hell? She’ll keep her info network on the lookout for them so she can take care of it for you. The hotel is safest place she knows of and will work to make it a sanctuary for you both. Whatever makes you happy, feel safe, and… want to stay with her. She thought she knew what salvation was, but it wasn’t until she met you that she truly experienced it for herself.

Cherri Bomb -

Sure she’s met a few aro/aces over the years, but it never really made sense to her. How can you not be obsessed with sex and drugs?? But when you come into the picture, all she knows is that you are what she needs. Whatever you need her to be or do, she’ll do it. Over time, she learns about you and why you are the way that you are, and any hesitations she may have had in loving you vanish. All that matters is that you’re happy, and safe, and by her side. You have to have an adrenaline junkie side to hang out with her. (But how hilarious if you don’t. Maybe she can introduce you to the less explosive joys of pyromaniacy? Burning pine needles is fun.) Maybe love with you is less passionate and fiery than she would have imagined, but finally hell can be home, as long as you’re there.

Vox -

This ass. He will definitely try to persuade you to try sexy things. And either you will and he’ll have to deal with any limitations you have, or the answer is still no. And he’s left questioning everything as he realises he can’t live without you. His ego (see: crippling insecurity) is threatened when he realises you may or may not be able to feel the way he does about you. He’d need you to reassure him and show that even if you can’t feel (or do) the usual things people expect in love, you do love his dumb tv-shark ass. Once he’s more convinced that you aren’t going to leave, and you really do love him in your own way, be prepared to be spoiled in every conceivable way. Want the heart of your enemy on a platter? The best writers and costume makers to make your fave book into the perfect movie? Cuddles? Money? His soul?? It’s yours.

Velvette -

She doesn’t have time for nonsense, and tbh your way of being is just easier for her. Feelings are more straightforward with you, in theory at least, and sex comes with easy to understand rules. (Maybe the rule is simply ‘no’.) If you at all have a love for design or fashion, she’ll have you on priority contact to send you pics and concepts to get your opinion. Maybe people even start to notice her style shifts a bit after meeting you. She’s a busy woman, so either hold a clipboard and be her assistant or be a good little lover and wait for her at home, dinner and bath salts ready to help her unwind from hectic days. But whatever your dynamic ends up being like, all she knows is hell is way fucking better with you.

Valentino -

Sure he knows people can be ace, but it’s still inconceivable to him that you are. How the fuck did this even happen, him falling for someone who isn’t a nympho?? Oh now there’s a possibility, maybe hypersexuality is a thing for you, and even though it doesn’t come with attraction, he can be your outlet. No matter how much or little you’re into sex in general, he can’t help but want to dote on you. The best restaurants, clothes, shows, and drinks. No one would ever dare to mess with you, and if they did, well, consider it taken care of. (Vees PR may have to do clean up, but whatever.) Pet names, talking to you in Spanish, and generally gushing over your existence is his M.O. Whether you want to fix him or make himself worse, he’s on your leash now.

Rosie -

If anyone is going to be understanding and accommodating of you, it’s Rosie. Gossip over her breaks, strolls around Cannibal Town, getting you the perfect wardrobe. She’ll spoil you as much as you can handle while still encouraging you to stand tall and be your best. Domestic bliss with a dash of community leadership (or manipulation, same thing) and psycho thrill is what she does best. Whatever you can or can’t give is fine with her, she’s a secure woman after all. All that matters to her is that you’re safe and strong enough to handle whatever hell may throw at you. And she, for one, is stronger with you beside her.

Adam -

Oh boy. This bastard can’t fathom anyone feeling differently about sex than he does. He hates that you can’t love him the same way, but as time goes on (and several breakups later) he finally gets it through his thick head that he loves you no matter what. So, clumsily, begrudgingly, he starts to learn what you really want and need. Having things different than it was with anyone before makes him slow down and appreciate other things about you, about spending time with you. Finally he settles into your lines, and his softer side can come out more. Not that that’s the only thing that drew you to him, of course. As he falls deeper and harder than ever before, he realises that you’re perfect just the way you are.

Lute -

Is she the type to be annoyed at first? Sure there are other ways to let off steam than sex, but having it not be an option with you initially makes her want to avoid you. But she keeps coming back. Shit. She’s not exactly romantic, so it’s fine if you aren’t either. As she falls harder and harder, it bothers her that she can’t show you. Until you finally talk about it and she’s shown all the other ways you want to be loved. Suddenly it’s not so hard, and the distance between you is closed at last. Protecting you and keeping you with her are all that matter anymore. Even heaven would suck without you.

Emily -

Her job is literally ensuring the joy of souls, so of course she’s learned all about aro and ace people and how to fulfill their needs. So she’s unfazed when you tell her, overwhelming you with questions about what you like, how to make you happy. Acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, is touch okay??? She loves you, and all she needs for heaven to fulfil the measure of its creation is to see your smile. Of course she wants to be as close to you as you’ll let her be. She’ll show you all over heaven, take you to all the best places in creation. Packed snacks in your bag, mending your clothes. Ask her to hold your hand and her wings flutter adorably.

Sera -

Now catching her attention may well be the most difficult of all. But your soul is so radiant, so captivating, it doesn’t matter what your preferences and needs are, she will move heaven and earth to have you beside her. An angel in need of a promotion? Done. A human soul that earned their wings? No problem. Even if you were a demon, she would find a way to twist your horns into a halo. Her low energy nature makes her a good match for someone with lesser passions. All she wants is you, just as you are.

Lilith -

She is a woman of fierce desire for freedom, to make her own choices - and when she meets you, she knows that you will be the one she chooses. Even if she wants to resist at first, she can’t help but want you. And what she wants, she gets. When she learns that you’re aro/ace, she’s honestly relived. Maybe things will be a little less complicated. She knows she can keep you with her no matter what you can or can’t feel, and as for touch, she’s fine with whatever you want. She’s a big girl, worst comes to worst she can take care of herself. Her only worry is making sure you’re happy and safe, because she has no tolerance for losing what she needs.

Zestial -

This demon is ancient, and while he finds a great many passions in life, having a partner like you is more welcome. Not having to worry about meeting your expectations in bed is a relief. Not that he wouldn’t give his best if you needed such attention, but he was never much preoccupied with such pastimes. His love is quiet but intense, his influence visible in every part of your life. From his protection, using his power as leverage to get you whatever you want, clearing out restaurants so you can have a private experience. As gentle as he is dangerous, he wants nothing more than to keep you safe and as close to him as you can bear to be.

Carmilla -

She is a busy woman, powerful and confident. Nothing fazes her. She knew you were aro/ace spec from the first moment she laid eyes on you. But what she didn’t expect was how important you would become to her. As soon as Odette and Clara start teasing her about it, she knew something has started that she couldn’t stop if she wanted to - for the precise reason that she doesn’t want to. It doesn’t matter to her if you don’t want to be touched, or only sometimes. She can see that your love for her is real, no matter what emotions may or may not be present. Love is choice, after all. And she will choose you every day for the rest of eternity.

Here’s the full flag if you want it 🩶

[volturissideslut]

Hellooo,

How would the Kings and guards (esp Demetri and Alec) react to a mate who is OBSESSED with academic validation and is working themselves to death studying at a dark academia aesthetic university like Oxford/Cambridge?

𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖎

Aro loves to spoil you, gifting you aesthetically pleasing hardbook versions of all the classes books. He gifts you bows, clothes, shoes, bags, books and happily pays for any art or education you may want. He wants the best for you and admired the aesthetic and your persuit of knowledge.

Marcus teaches you everything he knows, eager to spend as much time with you as possible. He gives you constant praise and makes sure you don't overwork yourself. He isn't above manhandling you into taking care of yourself if need be.

Caius paints the hard covers of books into beautiful individual art pieces as gifts for you, and many many painting of you can be found. A few of the rooms in his private quarters have been turned into a private library/study for you, a space for you to do all your work.

Alec attends classes with you and even takes notes for you. He assists with whatever reaserch you need to do and plans educational trips out to museums. The most recent one he's planned is to take you to the big telescope in hawaii - but that's a surprise for next month.

Jane gives you access to her diaries. Not many within the volturi know, but she has journaled her experiences and given a first hand account of history since she turned 50. It became a hobby, one that she now shares with you, her mate, and she's more than happy to spend time with you going through them together.

Demetri teaches you Latin, opening your eyes to so much more books, texts, dialogues and history. You stay awake at night listening to him tell you about history, most especially ancient Rome, and beg for him to keep going even when he insists you should sleep.

Felix collects gifts for you whenever he's away on missions. Most recently, he's filled shelves upon shelves of records of classical music in your shared room, along with a vintage record player he gifted you for your anniversary.

[our-arospec-experience]

rant/vent, swearing

i yearn for the day where alloaros can talk about their issues, rightfully pissed, without other apsecs having a problem with it. for context, i am an aroace. and i see the CONSTANT lumping together of aro and ace and it even gets on MY nerves immensely. esp the fact its the posts with the highest notes in the tags that do it. i want to see posts about aromanticism without ace always being there. and someone might see this as me and alloaros "hating" on alloaces & aroaces but its not. we're/they're just pissed because this keeps happening and people just dont listen. I've seen people say "terfs are causing the infighting in the aspec community" (there was a meme attached of someone venting about alloaces using aro tags and whatnot) and can we not fucking do that. please. yes, asshole human beings (terfs) will try to be assholes. i think its because of the tone of the posts some people might misunderstand and thus that they come to that conclusion. but i get the anger. and you should be rightfully angry when your identity constantly gets erased and forgotten to the point you have to explicitly say you're an alloaro/aroallo. and some alloaces and other aroaces can be dicks about it. ive seen it recently.(note: SOME) I've seen the same thing in transmasc spaces where someone describes their experience with transfems that treated them like shit and they're angry, and people will always jump the the dumbass conclusions "oh wow you hate transfems now." or "You're trying to divide the community". and no, noone actually wants that. it's like people keep forgetting that any queer person can be a dick to other queer people. all that alloaros want is to have their own space and not create new ones for themselves just because of this afaik. aromanticism should be talked about without asexuality. and the thing is, this only happens to alloaros iirc. I've never seen the opposite (alloaces having the issue of having their stuff tagged as aro) happen. it could very well also be a problem, i dont want to say that can't happen. and please, please do not take this as hate against any other aspecs. i have just seen people taking this as "hating" when its really not.

-a tired aroace.

.

[telephonetrance]

new intro post yayyy

hiii you can call me three/trick/radio, welcome to my kink blog! i’m your local robotgirlboy who’s a big fan of hypnokink :]

warning for dark kinks (noncon, psychological stuff, sometimes gore, and more), i’ll try to tag what seems especially egregious but let me know if you want anything specific tagged!

i’m 18, a switch, aro+bi, and i go by any pronouns but i like it/its!

PLS talk to me about hypnosis and games (esp ttrpgs) and kink !!!! i don’t always do kink play but i am always a nerd abt kink. asks and dms are very welcome :D

MAIN KINKS: cnc, hypnosis/mind control/brainwashing, robots/tech/objectum, worship/divinity, objectification, orgasm denial, bondage, musk, snuff, fearplay

rambly info under the cut:

more hyperspecific weird stuff im into: theatre, metanarrative/messing w reality, math, knights/armor/weapons, henchmen, games, switchy dynamics, forced romance, messing w communication/language, being made to be into kinks (i GUESS that’s just called corruption but for some reason that doesn’t feel right)

also i’ve been playing w droneplay so i might occasionally refer to myself in 3rd person as “it” or “03” but who knows if that’ll actually come up

TAG LIST:

#3's posts: my original posts

#3's art: my drawings

#asks: me answering asks

#pics: irl pictures/videos of people

#audio: audios

#scripts stories: (typically hypnotic) longer pieces of text

#art: other people’s art

#tech: robots/objectum of all flavors!

#dynamics: mostly switchy (but not always) stuff i find fun/inspiring

#math kink real: ok this started as a joke. math hot