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kitimeq · 6 months ago

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-ˋˏ ༻❁ surprise encounter 🤍 sylus 秦 ❀༺ ˎˊ-

❀˖°pairing: sylus x reader

❀˖°summary: You’ve been playing love&deepspace ever since the game came out and it became your comfort place now. You like all of the boys, but you have the highest affinity with sylus, who had your heart in a grasp ever since the beginning. Who would’ve thought that he shares the sentiment? And after your monthly absence from the game, he decides to pay you a little visit and finally confess to all of it (and maybe kind of try to kidnap you in the process too oho).

❀˖° tropes: fluff, angst to fluff, fluff to angst to fluff? fluff to angst to fluff to angst to fluff???? idk angst with happy ending!

❀˖°word count: no idea, it goes on for days sorry. (7k!!)

❀˖°warning!: i apologize for any mistakes, i am not a native speaker of english!! if you see any errors you can write me a dm and i will correct them for sure ♡ and i think it gets better later! i can’t write for shi, especially the beginnings, and the second part was fueled by my delulu so it is probably much more fun to read 🤍

•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙ ⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙

You liked days like these: quiet days, lazy ones, when you didn’t have any errands to run, meetings to attend, or people to please. You could just stay inside for the whole day, reading your favorite books and playing cozy games, spending your time however you wanted. Today was Saturday and you didn’t have to go to work until Monday and you decided that you finally deserved to have some rest after the last couple of weeks of almost working yourself to the bone due to the amount of the assingments you had to complete at work. You often had to stay after hours or work from home to complete everything in time. Your work was not usually that challenging, but there were certain times of the year when everyone at your job had their hands full and when it happened, you were almost completely cut off not only from your social, but also personal life. However, you never complained, because you actually liked what you were doing, and even if the occasional hard times were inevitable, your work brought you so much fun and satisfaction.

And today was a good day! You finally finished everything you had to do, so you could go back to your favourite game. You didn’t have time to play recently due to the amount of work, up to the point that you didn’t even bother to check in to grab some stamina. Usually, love&deepspace was an important part of your day - you logged in there at least twice a day, completed every task thrown your way and had a blast doing so, but these couple of weeks were so hard for you that you almost forgot about it completely. But even if you were too busy, you thought about the boys from time to time, as well as about the events that you were probably missing out on. You really hoped that if some new events had taken place during that time, that they did not involve Sylus, because if you had missed them, you would be slightly devastated.

Sylus was your favorite. Ever since the beginning, there was something about him that caught your attention. You downloaded the game after his announcement and haven’t looked back since. You played with other boys as well, but your time with Sylus was always the most memorable. Not only was he extremely attractive in your eyes, as well as the eyes of other players around the world, but you also understood his character, adored his little jokes and mannerisms, and could safely say that he made your life a little more exciting. You knew that it probably sounded lame to someone who didn’t play such games, and you were aware that he wasn’t real, but you enjoyed yourself regardless. In your real life, you had some experience with men and were pretty popular among them; however, you never felt comfortable enough to form more serious romantic relationships.

Here, with Sylus, you didn’t have to worry about such things. You were aware that he was only a game character and maybe that was why you were so honest with him from the very beginning. You knew that he wouldn’t judge you, misstreat you or make you miserable - he was created in a way that was supposed to make your playthrough enjoyable so you didn’t have to worry about your responses in the messages for him or your real life reactions to everything he said or did. You could just be yourself. And you loved how freeing that felt.

That is why you felt so excited ever since you woke up. Because you knew that today you could finally go back to playing l&d, and you could meet up with your Sylus after so much time apart. You quickly did your chores, spent some time on self-care to slightly relieve the fatigue from the weeks before, you put on your favourite cozy outfit and finally clicked the ”enter game” button.

And there he was. Sylus was standing in the cafe, wearing his extremally attractive biker outfit and you caught yourself sighing dreamily at the sight of him. You missed him so bad, you missed the little memories you shared and the sound of his voice. You missed playing kitty cards with him, catching plushies together and even looking for that bastard Tobias again and again. You couldn’t help but smile brightly at him.

“Hi Sylus, you have no idea how happy I am to see you.” You said cheerfully, feeling kind of dumb for it but you couldn’t help yourself. You often talked out loud to him during your playtime.

You watched him blink slowly once, then twice, and you started to think that there was something wrong with the server because his response should have already been uttered. But then the look on his face changed. At first, he appeared really shocked and relieved, but then a little frown appeared between his perfect little eyebrows.

“Where the hell have you been?” He responded quickly and it shocked you. You didn’t know that they could swear in the game, but after connecting some dots you figured that it had to be included in the special responses after the player was away for some time.

“At work mostly, been so busy lately but now I’m back and ready to defeat some Wanderers!!” You fist bumped the air above you, you couldn’t contain your excitement.

You also noticed that his expression stayed the same. He was silent, looking at you through your phone screen with bewilderment, and he looked almost hurt. In an attempt to provide some comfort to him, you swiped your finger gently through his hair and across his cheek. However, when you touched his cheek, he closed his eyes and nuzzled into your finger, which made you widen your eyes in surprise. Was that always a thing? Was he always so responsive to your touch? It had to be a new feature; you didn’t remember him being so lively.

“Next time you decide to leave me without a word, I think I’m going to take more drastic measures, sweetie” He said while opening his eyes. You couldn’t help but notice he did look different than usual. More… realistic? Even the way in which he moved his body looked so smooth.

“If not for Mephisto, I would have worried sick about your safety. You can't do this to me every time you have more work than usual; you have to visit me, even if it's just for a minute. I won't exaggerate when I say that I almost went insane after the first week of your cruel silence” And at that you were completely stunned. Should he talk this much? He never talked this much. And how could he know that you had more work than usual? Was that a lucky guess on the studio’s side?

“That’s so weird…” You whispered and touched his hand to trigger some kind of reaction that would appear more usual than what was happening right now.

“Is that your way of catching me off guard? If you wanted to hold my hand so badly kitten, then you would have visited me sooner. I will not let myself be distracted by your cute little behavior” He raised the hand you touched and crossed his arms at his chest, while continuing to frown. And you were still so, so confused.

“Promise me that you won’t leave me again, I know where to find you now.” You raised your eyebrows and bit your lip gently. You started to feel a little bit out of place, you knew that he was not real, but he sounded kind of scary. His voice was demanding, and the part about him finding you? You shivered involuntarily.

“What happened? Cat got your tongue, kitten? Or did you finally understood the selfishness of your actions?” Sylus continued and you opened your mouth in awe. “Promise. Me.” He said slowly, his gaze unnerving. Suddenly you heard a series of loud caws outside on your balcony. The sound made you jump in place, and you dropped your phone on your bed. Was that a freaking crow?? Outside your apartament???

You quickly picked up your phone and cursed softly. You were going insane. You got scared just because the game had an update you did not know about. You almost wanted to laugh at how stupid that was. Almost. Because Sylus walked up to the front of your phone screen and spoke to you again.

“Why are you hesitating? Are you really planning to leave me again?” You swore you never heard him so hurt.

“No!” You said before you could think.

“No?” He answered immediately, which scared the hell out of you. “I am not sure I believe you. And I can’t stand it. I can’t stand being away from you anymore.” He took two steps back and closed his eyes.

That was when the game crashed. Your phone appeared to be broked too, after the colourful lines appeared on the screen, flickered a couple of times and the whole screen turned black. You threw the device away from you and your heart started beating so fast you could hear the blood pulsing in your ears. You were so confused and genuinely scared. Was there an update that switched the genre of the game to horror? You were stunned.

And then you heard the knock.

You almost jumped out of your slippers. You brought your hand to your heart in order to calm yourself down and you started taking slow, deep breaths. It’s just a game. It’s just a game. Besides, how did Sylus, of all people, managed to scare you so badly? You adored that character, and you should know that he was prone not only to exaggeration, but also to intimidating behavior. That was literally one of his characteristics. So you forced yourself to calm down and opened the damn door, because it was probably either a mailman, or one of your friendly neighbors, and here you were making a scene like some kind of a delusional psychopath.

One. Two. Three.

You opened the door, and at first all you could see was a huge cloud of black mist. You closed your eyes in order to keep the mist from clouding your vision and then you felt wind pushing you gently further into your apartament. You heard the door close and the sound of the key turning in the lock. Everything happened so fast. And when you opened your eyes your knees almost buckled.

Sylus.

Sylus was all you could see. He was standing in front of you, in your own apartament, looking so out of place that you wanted to laugh. The first thing that you noticed about him was that he was huge, you couldn’t really see past him, and the more you looked at him, the more real he appeared to be. Soft-looking silver hair, rugged skin, that perfect nose and those piercing eyes. They looked into yours now, and at first they seemed to be searching for something, and after one quick second they visibly softened. You could also see how his handsome, oh so handsome mouth started to display his signature little smirk. And that was when you started to tremble.

“W-wha—” You tried to say something, anything but your mouth was not working. You have never been so confused and scared in your entire life. “Who—W-who are—” He was starting to close the distance between you and that is when the panic finally took over your body. You flinched and went to take a step back, but you slipped on your soft carpet.

Yet you didn’t fall. You felt the gentle caress of the mist that managed to caught you before you hit the ground, and it streightened your posture so that now you stood tall in front of the man.

“Careful kitten, I do not think that falling on four feet applies to you.” He spoke out loud for the first time and the voice was so familiar to you. It was the same, deep, husky timbre that you loved to hear, the same voice that made you squeal in happiness, that lulled you to sleep countless of times. You couldn’t believe it.

“Oh my god, am I dead?” He laughed softly at your reaction and looked at you through his lashes. “This can’t be happening.”

“Oh but it is. I knew that I would find my way to you, I just needed time.” He said and tried to close the distance between you, but you didn’t let him. Every step forward he took, you took one back. “It was so hard to find you. But after you disappeared without saying a word I think I got desperate.” Something flashed in his eyes. You recognized it as determination.

He stopped walking when he noticed that you were getting too close to the balcony. He straightened his posture, and you almost released a gasp. He was huge. And he was real. Alive and so, so real, that you had trouble breathing. You were so scared, but at the same time, so happy to see him, that your body didn’t know how it should react. You just looked at him, taking him in, trying to assess whether it wasn’t your mind playing tricks on you, or if it wasn’t some random man breaking into your apartment and your brain had created a new, fantastic defense mechanism. But no, the longer you took him in, the more similarities you managed to notice: the scar in the corner of his eye, his unevenly clipped fingernails, strong but dry hands, olive skin, slim lips, long, slightly furrowed eyebrows. The not-so-hidden gentleness in his gaze as he was taking you in himself.

“It’s really you.” You managed to breathe out.

“You’re so beautiful.” He answered and his voice was slowly starting to make you feel these familiar butterflies. “So, so magnificent.” He continued. You felt your cheeks heat up and he seemed to drink that reaction in. “Will you talk to me more? You sound angelic. I did not think that you could sound even better than you did through the phone but I guess you will never fail to surprise me, sweetheart.” He did not move an inch. He just looked at you, and you still didn’t know how to react, but you were slowly coming to terms with the fact that it was not a weird dream. He was here and he didn’t appear to have bad intentions. At least you wanted to believe that.

��You’re still trembling. Are you really that scared of me?” He pressed his lips into a line.

“I’m sorry. I just… I’m just not sure what is happening. I had no idea you were… real.” He laughed softly at that.

“You wound me, kitten. Is that your way of unleashing your little claws?” He continued with a small smile on his lips and you couldn’t take it. He looked… stressed. And you thought that was new for him. You spend so many hours playing with him in l&d but you have never seen him so stressed.

Everything that came out of his mouth was slow and precise, not a word was spoken without a purpose. However you could see by his appearance that he was uncertain.

“Of course I’m real. And all the time we spent together is real too. Was it so wrong of me to expect that you would be at least a little bit happier to see me?” He was starting to look hurt. But not angry, not displeased. More concerned than anything, and that was when most of your worries started to disappear. He was your Sylus. He really was.

“I am happy to see you. I really am.” You said truthfully, the fear slowly dissolving. “What are you doing here? How did it happen?”

“When you left me, I was worried to death. I had to come see that you were alright for myself.” He said, not taking his eyes off of you. “I found a path between our worlds, and first I sent Mephisto after you. And that was how I knew you were fine, just busy.” He started explaining slowly and put two fingers at the bridge of his nose. This gesture was so familiar that you felt a slight pang in your chest. “Which l understand. But you stopped visiting completely and I panicked that I lost you. And that you lost your interest in me. And when you logged in today I guess I just lost control over myself.”

“I had to see you. I had to feel you. I needed to know that you will never leave me like that again. But how could I be so sure if you thought I was not real, sweetie?” His voice carried a hint of a ridicule. He smirked slowly and you allowed yourself to relax. You spend so much time with him on your phone, that you knew when he really needed reassurance. And it was the first time you saw him being so honest about his own feelings.

You decided to step closer to him and his eyes widened slightly. His body tightened because of the sudden change in proximity, and when you gently touched his hand bringing it to your mouth, he appeared to be rendered speechless.

“I would never leave you, Sy. At least not without saying goodbye first. You are my safe space, remember?” You said quietly and smiled at him brightly, reminding him of what you had written in your game bio. And then you brought his knuckles to your lips and placed a soft kiss upon them. His hands were much warmer than you expected them to be. They felt harsh, but gentle.

The next thing you heard was a soft grunt and you felt yourself being suddenly lifted in the air. You yelped and found yourself pressed against his big, solid chest. Sylus hugged your body to his by wrapping both of his arms around your torso, and when he realized that you weren’t comfortable, he put one hand under your thighs and brought your body to his by your waist. You let your arms wrap around his neck and squeezed, and he buried his head in the crook of your neck. You heard him inhale your scent and his breath became rigged, as if he could not contain his excitement. You also became familiar with his scent. He smelled so manly and comforting, you could catch some notes of wood and leather, and something surprisingly sweet.

“You smell divine. You’re so soft, so warm.” He breathed against your neck and you felt goosebumps spreading throughout your whole body. You were so embarrassed, you felt like you needed to release some tension.

“I did not expect you to be so open with me. You’re usually the teasing type.” He chucked deeply and put his forehead against yours, while closing his eyes. Your cheeks burned. You couldn’t believe it wasn’t a dream.

“There will be a time for teasing you, kitten.” He rubbed his forehead against yours slowly. “Right now let me enjoy you for a bit. I can’t believe I finally got to see you.” He squeezed you harder to him. You reciprocated the hug with all you had. You were actually kind of scared that your grip was too hard, but he seemed to bask in it. “Communicating through that small device was not nearly enough for me. I could always see you and I heard your little responses to everything I was saying. But it took me some time to figure out how to change some things up.” Your eyes went wide at the mention of your reactions, you knew that a lot of times there were beyond embarrassing, but you decided your blush to speak for itself. But what truly caught your attention was how he managed to appear in your home.

“Change things up?? You must have made such a mess, will it really be okay?” The concern in your voice made him look up and find your eyes with his. You were now looking at his beautiful red ones, so full of adoration and determination. You could see that the consequences of his actions did not matter to him at all.

“Sweetie, I would gladly burn the world down for you, even if it meant that I could see you just once.” You swallowed audibly and proceeded to shy away from his piercing gaze. You started to feel unworthy of such attention, you couldn’t quite grasp what exactly made him care about you to such extend. “Fortunately for everyone, the process did not involve starting an intergalactic war.” He smirked slowly, his eyes finding your lips and staying there for much longer than necessary. “Yet.”

You chuckled at that and proceeded to bury your fingers in his hair, stroking the strands with care. They were so soft to the touch, they reminded you of silk. He closed his eyes and let you touch him to your heart’s content. Your hand quickly found its way to his forehead, and then to his cheek, stroking the skin delicately. You couldn’t believe how someone so handsome could really exist.

“See something you like, kitten?” He said and nuzzled into your palm, pressing a kiss right there. “You will have all the time in the world to touch me when we arrive in the N109 Zone.” He seemed so peaceful, so content with himself, but the mention of the N109 Zone stopped you in your tracks. You tensed visibly and he opened his eyes, noticing the change in your posture.

“The N109 Zone?” You asked puzzled. “Are you taking me away for a weekend?” You took your hand from his face and he used his Evol to bring it back to his cheek. The mist around your fingers felt weird, but not unpleasant.

“For a weekend? No, no.” He locked his eyes with yours, his head slowly closing the distance between you. He licked his lips and looked at your mouth once again. “I am taking you away for forever.” And before his lips managed to touch yours, you flinched. Your hands quickly pushed him away and the panic returned to your features.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I meant what I said. Pack your bags if you believe there is something that I cannot provide for you quickly enough, and we will be off shortly.” He said matter of factly, kind of annoyed by the distance you decided to put between you. “Luke and Kieran have already prepared a room for you, although I think that you will have more than enough space for your belongings in mine.” His eyes brightened with excitement that you unfortunately could not share. Instead, you lightly pushed his torso, making him lower you to the ground grudgingly. His brows were once again furrowed.

“I can’t go with you Sylus. At least, not for forever”

“You can. We can stay together for the rest of our lives and no one would have any objections. I took care of everything.” He reached to grab your forearm and stroked it softly with his thumb. He was so sure of everything he was saying that you could feel how much he let himself get lost in his fantasy. It did make you feel wanted, loved even. But no matter how happy you were that he was real, and apparently shared your feelings, you couldn’t agree to his plan.

“No, Sylus. I need to stay here, I have built my whole life in this place.” You could feel how much your words shocked him. He was looking at you so puzzled as if he didn’t think that you declining his offer was even an option. “I can’t leave everything that I managed to achieve, I really am content with my life, despite how complicated it can be.” You said truthfully. A part of you wanted to go with him, to feel safe and cherished for, for the rest of your life but you knew that was not realistic. You wanted to achieve more, you wanted to have your own life and your own space. You needed to be independent, to feel that you were perfectly capable of caring for yourself and your own needs.

“I do not understand. Don’t you want to be with me?” It pained you how quickly he jumped to that conclusion. And you hated the look on his face - it made you feel like you were betraying him.

”I do want to! Oh my god— I really, really do want to Sylus. I don’t think that I can live without spending time with you anymore.” You smiled at him, and took hold of his huge, rugged hand. “But I can’t live with you in the N109 Zone. I can’t leave my whole life behind.” And the fact that he wanted to make you do that somewhat scared you. Made you feel distressed.

“I see.” He sounded deep in thought. Then, he broke the eye contact for a second, looked at his hand in your hold and before you could even react, he grabbed your body gently with his Evol and picked you up. Your whole body was above ground and although you felt secured, you looked at him with surprise.

“What are you doing?” You wanted to get free from the hold of the mist, but it was impossible with how tight it was. “Sylus, you have to let me go.” You tried not to panic, you knew that you weren’t in danger. But he looked relentless, unforgiving as if his mind was already set in stone.

“No. I can’t. Not now when I finally got to have you.” He looked up at you, with his eyebrows still furrowed, and you could hear a hint of a growl in his voice. “If you do not wish to go with me, I guess I would have to take you by force.”

It was then that you felt a sense of panic. You knew him, and you knew that if he wants something, he always gets it. It just did not cross your mind that he would ever go against your own wishes.

“No. No, no, no, Sylus, please calm down.” He narrowed his eyes and stood motionless before you, his face devoid of almost any emotion. Almost, if not for the desperation shining through his watchful eyes. “You cannot take me away. At least not for now. But I will do anything you ask me to! You can also stay here for some time, and visit me whenever you want to, I swear, I would be so happy to have you.” You just needed him to listen. You knew that you could change his mind, he always listened to what you had to say, he just needed a little bit of persuasion. Maybe he didn’t even think about alternative options?

“And I would make you happy in the N109 Zone with me.” You laughed with disbelief. He was completely missing your point. You decided to once again yank your hands from the grasp of his mist, and then hissed with pain when it did not loosen up its hold. “Your struggle is futile, please stop, I do not wish for you to get hurt.” He was annoyed with you and your disobedience. He did not think that you would have any objections, he started loosing his cool.

“You would never let me get hurt.” You answered, wanting to assure yourself of it as well. You didn’t like how commanding he sounded.

“Yes.” There was no doubt in his voice. “Yes, you know I would stop at nothing to protect you.” His gaze never wavered from yours. He truly thought that what he was doing was for the best. And you just had to let him know how wrong his approach was.

“Yes! Yes I do know that! Because I know you, Sy.” You started to sound as if you were pleading. Deep down it scared you, send uncomfortable shivers down your spine. “I know you, and I know that you also know me.”

He placed his hand on his heart.

“And I adore every single piece of information. And I still wish to know you much, much better.” You tensed when you noticed that his right eye was starting to glow. You did not know if that was intentional, or just a trick of the light.

“Then you MUST know how much this life means to me. How much I like my stupid job, and how much I love the people that are here for me. My friends, my family.” You noticed that your reasoning started to get to him when he clenched his fists and avoided your eyes for a second. “And you have to know how much it would hurt me if you were to take me away from them.” He appeared taken aback. It seemed that his longing for you clouded his judgement, and now he started to notice the faults in his plan.

“But I cannot stand to be apart from you anymore, sweetie.” In normal circumstances that would be so touching to you. But nothing about this situation was normal, and you guessed you just had to show him how normal looked like.

“You won’t be. You can visit me anytime you want. Stay for how long you want.” You wanted that too. So bad.

“But that is not ENOUGH.” It was the first time you heard his raised voice and you started to tremble. His outburst must’ve thrown him off guard too, because he wavered and the grip he had on you loosed. You acted instinctively. You freed yourself from the mist and started to run towards your door. And although he was stunned by your reaction, he quickly teleported so that you ran straight into his chest. His hands grabbed yours in order to protect you from falling due to the impact.

He gently caressed your now slightly red forehead and sighed loudly. You could hear that he was hurt. You cried out from frustration.

“If you really thought that you could run away from me then you must be a total fool.” He tucked your hair behind your ear and lifted your chin up with his finger. “Usually I like playing cat and mouse with you, but I do not like the fact that you appear genuinely scared of me right now.” He hugged your waist and brought you closer to him, lowering his head at the same time. “And that you tried to run away from me when I only want to offer you my protection.”

“It doesn’t sound like protection, it sounds like imprisonment.” You used strong words, but you sounded so small. You did not know what to do with him, you were so scared. ”I’m just scared. I tried to run away because you scared me, Sylus.” You sounded desperate for him to understand you. To look past his own clouded vision.

“You do not have to fear me. I just want what is best for you. For us.” His grip on your waist tightened, and he also proceeded to grab your wrist.

“No. You only want what is best for you. You are not listening to me. I do care about you Sylus, but I cannot leave this place.” You tried to stand your ground but you two never argued before. It was an unfamiliar ground to you, especially when it was the first time that you had a conversation in person. Everything felt more intense and dangerous when you remembered the extreme measures he was always willing to take to achieve his goals.

“You can. And I will make you leave.” He almost growled and a cloud of black and red mist surrounded both of you, and that was enough to bring tears into your eyes.

”Sylus, no, please, I don’t want to. Please, just listen to me, please.” And it was at that moment he started to came into his senses. Your quiet voice and your eyes full of tears made his breathing stop. It was the first time he was seeing you react like this. He hated how broken you sounded. How small. “I’m so scared, Sy, please stop scaring me.” Your voice sounded choked and you could feel that the tears started streaming down your face. Every single one physically hurt him. It was your first meeting and he already made you so miserable. He wanted to scream. “Please.” You tried once again and it shocked you that it finally worked on him.

He tensed and released you from his grip. The mist also dissipated as he took a step back from you. You could hear him breathing deeply.

“I cannot do this." He sounded panicked. “I did not want to scare you, and I cannot listen to your little broken pleas. They break my heart.” He hidden his face in his hands and curled in himself. He felt as if someone pierced his heart with a knife and twisted it. He could not bring himself to look at your beautiful heartbroken face again. “They really do. Please, just stop crying. You won.”

You sniffed softly and touched your wet cheeks. You tried to calm yourself down, he finally listened to you.

“It does not feel so good this time for some reason.” You answered, referring to your Kitty Card battles. You wanted to relieve the tension somehow. You knew that he didn’t want to hurt you, you understand that he lives in a different reality where danger awaits everywhere. You could understand why he wanted to have you beside him at all times. But it scared you how insistent he was, how brutal and final. “Do you really understand why I got so scared?”

He nodded helplessly. “I won’t steal you away. Not when I know how much you despise the idea of spending the rest of your time with me.” You noticed how hard he was pressing his hands to his face and you grabbed them in your own. He let you uncover his eyes and you saw how much it hurt him to let you go.

“Oh, Sy.” You whispered and hugged his hands to your chest. “You know that’s not the reason.”

“Stop calling me that. It drives me crazy.” He breathed and met your eyes. “You drive me crazy. What am I going to do with you? How can I make sure you are safe now?” You took his hands and made him follow you into your bedroom. You sat on your bed and urged him to do the same. This way you could finally talk with him more comfortably.

“Sylus, we have to talk about it.” You squeezed his hands and he looked at yours and took notice of how much smaller they were in comparison to his. So fragile, so breakable. He couldn’t stand it. His whole body longed to protect you. “I do not despise the idea of spending my time with you. I just can’t randomly leave everything I know and love. And this world is different from the one you know, we have our dangers but no one wants my head.” You explained to him slowly. “There are no Wanderers. No protocores.” He looked conflicted.

“I already know that sweetheart. I do. But when you disappeared for such a long time I couldn’t help but think that something bad happened to you” he gritted through his teeth. “I nearly lost my mind looking for you everywhere. It was terrifying, that thought in my mind and the idea that I would never have another chance to speak with you. To see you.” He touched your forearms and brought you a little closer to him. “And when Mephisto found you safe and sound I thought that I never want to feel that fear, that helplessness again. And the only way to do that is to keep you beside me at all times. To guard you with my own body and soul.” He took your hand and rested it on his chest. You could feel the fast and steady rhythm of his heart. You could feel his desperation, his complete devotion. And it almost made you tear up.

“I-I’m so sorry that I made you worry this much.” He studied your face with intention and you shake your head. “But I didn’t even know that you were real. I really thought it was just a game that made me feel less alone and now…” You swallowed audibly. “Now I know that everything I built with you during our time together was very much real and I’m still having trouble to wrap my head around it to be honest.” You smiled at him softly and he nodded with understanding.

“And then you came in and wanted to kidnap me to a world much more dangerous than mine where I do not have my close ones and—”

“I did NOT mean for that to be a kidnapping I though that you shared my sentiment, and also wanted to spend some time—”

“SOME time?? Sylus you wanted me to switch literal worlds and live with you in your freaking villa in the middle of nowhere—”

“I live in an apartment that has a fantastic location, mind you, and you would feel so comfortable in—”

”Apartament??? You cannot possibly be a freaking leader of Onychinus and live in an apartment complex, are you being serious with me right now??”

“Have you ever heard of a saying that the darkest place is under the candlestick, kitten? Besides there is no one in the whole N109 Zone that would pose an actual threat to me—” He cut off when he met your eyes full of laughter, and then he heard that beautiful sound. You burst into giggles right in front of him and you touched him by the bicep and brought his forehead to yours. He couldn’t help but chuckle too, understanding the absurdity of the situation. Feeling your forehead against his, hearing your adorable chuckles and inhaling your sweet scent made him feel so at peace that he closed his eyes to embrace the moment completely. He couldn’t believe that he almost ruined your relationship by being so selfish.

“I missed this. This back and forth with you” You said and he chucked deeply. “I really am happy to see you, Sy. And I swear that we will be able to talk and spent time with each other more often now. And actually see each other in person.” He nuzzled into your face more and you caught his smirk by the corner of your eye. “We can stay in touch at all times, so that you won’t have to worry about my safety so much.”

“So bossy, kitten.” He answered, but the small smile did not leave his face. He couldn’t make it go away even if he tried. “Forgive me for scaring you earlier. I was not thinking straight. I was just so elated to finally have you in my arms that I let my selfishness get the best of me, and for that I’m sorry. I did not want to ruin our first meeting, sweetie.” You hugged him by bringing your arms around his chest and he closed his eyes drinking in the proximity. You were too small, too adorable, too attractive for him to take it. Too honest. Too lovable. Made just for him to adore. To protect.

“You did not ruin anything.” You said into his shirt, hugging him tighter. “I understand you, Sylus. And I like you a little selfish if it means that’s what brought you to me” He smiled into your hair and reluctantly let go of your fragile frame. He touched your chin and delicately lifted your face up to face him. His eyes were once again drinking you in, committing every single one of your features to his memory. He sighed contentedly.

“Selfishness was not the reason of my visit.” You could see how his eyes softened and you felt your chest squeeze. You brushed his cheek, loving the way how he seemed to relish in your touch. His eyes wandered to your lips: pink, plump and so inviting. “Adoration was. The complete love and devotion that I have felt for you for quite some time now.” You gasped quietly and opened your lips slightly, which didn’t go unnoticed by him.

“Sy—”

“And I guess a little emotional push was what made me finally find my way to you, my beloved.” He half-whispered, leaned in, and pressed his lips to yours, locking you in a sweet, passionate kiss that went on and on, seeming to deepen with every minute you spent in his embrace.

*˚⁺‧͙ ⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*

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gothicfied · 4 months ago

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(Squid game s2) Can you write a comfort fic about an insecure reader has past trauma and has endured Highschool bullying. When she joins the games and is in the group (Gi-hun, Dae-ho, Jun-hee & others) but once they meet Jun-hee she gets pushed aside and has to join another group in the second game. Feel free to change or add anything, the pairing could be Daeho x reader but it’s up to you <33

Never alone again - Kang Dae-ho / Player 388

Pairing: Kang Dae-ho / Player 388 x Reader

Summary: After seeing you almost die, Dae-ho swore he wouldn't leave your side ever again.

Warnings: Mentions of death/dying, gunshots (typical squid game stuff), other than that it's just fluff, not proof read (english isn't my first language)

Word Count: ~ 1.2k

A/N: hii! tysm for the request and I hope I did it justice.

You believed Gi-hun from the start. You believed he was right, no sane person would just say stuff like that, right? That they kill each player who gets eliminated? He seemed too damn serious for it to be a lie. And lo and behold, he was right. People. Shot dead. Right in front of you. Red-Light-Green-Light was a traumatic experience. You wanted to quit, you wanted to go home, go home and hug your parents and just be grateful to still be alive.

It was like the universe had turned against you. How wasn't everyone scared out of their minds like you? Was money really all that mattered to them? A heated discussion broke out during the first voting, angry voices yelling at each other, accusing Gi-hun of lying. You took all the courage you had left in you to try and stand up for him, at least make it known that you sided with him. Past experiences, especially your school time, usually made it hard for you to speak up, but that shouldn't really be an issue right now — You could end up dead, that's what worried you. After the voting, that didn't go your way at all, Gi-hun showed gratitude for your courage to say something and suggested you'd stick with him from now on.

Added to your group were In-ho, the last player who actually voted 'O', Jung-bae and Dae-ho, who were both former marines. While eating the lunch provided to you by the guards, those two immediately bonded over their former occupation, which you found endearing. Even though you were currently still to shy to join in on their conversations, you were content with just having a group you could stick to — Because you were sure you absolutely wouldn't survive in here alone.

"And, what's your name?" Dae-ho asked, as hd took a seat on the stairs next to you, happily eating his food. When you told him he gasped, almost chocking in the process. "That's my sisters name!" he laughed, nudging your shoulder with his. You just replied with a little "Oh? No way." and then he began rambling about his life, about his four sisters, about how his father sent him to be a marine and so on. He closed his monologue saying "Anyway, that's a really pretty name." and then proceeded to ask you for your leftover food. He made you laugh, which was nice considering you all were stuck in this hellhole.

In Dae-ho's opinion, you two had a lot in common, even if you didn't at all. He suggested you slept in the bed right under his which was.. well, free now after the first game. At night, you couldn't help but overthink your interactions with not only him, but the other three guys, too. They were so nice and welcoming. All of them had a special attribute that will probably be useful in the coming few days.. and you? You had the feeling that you brought nothing to the table.

The next day, a vast majority of the players went into the second game with the impression that this will be Dalgona, like Gi-hun predicted. Apparently not. The female voice over the speakers ordered the players to form groups of five. "Ah, how perfect," In-ho smiled, "guess we'll be a group then." You looked between the men, nodding in agreement and just when you were about to say something-

"Excuse me, are you maybe searching for one more person-?"

"Oh, no I'm sorry, we're actually already five peo-"

"I'm pregnant."

The girl cut Jung-bae off, resting her hands on her pregnant belly. You raised your eyebrows in shock and no one really seemed to know what to do next. Oh, you felt bad for her. She must've been very desperate if she entered the games while being pregnant. You five were just looking at each other confused, until you took a deep breath: "It's okay, I'll find another group. She needs to be with people she can absolutely win with." You looked at the girl and she looked back, slowly giving you a grateful smile. "No it's okay I'll go-" Dae-ho tried to say, but you waved him off, shaking your head.

"Well.. No, you can't just.."

"Dae-ho," In-ho said in a low tone, putting a hand on his shoulder, "she's pregnant." he said, like Dae-ho needed a reminder of what was right in front of him. You weren't that important to the team anyways, and that girl needed your help. So, it was decided, and in the end you did find a team of three players who voted 'X', like you, and one who didn't. You felt fairly safe with these people and even if you didn't, you didn't have much of a choice.

The game was a six-legged pentathlon with five mini games you had to split between each team member to complete. Watching the first few teams go was an absolute adrenaline rush, given the small amount of time of five minutes, the first few players were shot on sight pretty early on. This made you nervous to the point where you could throw up. Your original group was sitting a few meters away from youd current one and you did lock eyes with Dae-ho quite a bit, him giving you reassuring glances or a thumbs up. You mustered up a smile, trying yo calm your thoughts down.

I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this-

Oh but you could. Your team, which came before Gi-hun's, barely made it over the finish line with three seconds to spare, making the crowd of waiting players roar and cheer and yell "Good job!". The most time you lost was at Gonggi, thankfully not your mini game. Being able to beat yours on the first try filled you with the confidence you needed, which was probably the only thing that kept you up on your feet. Speaking of which, the shackles, that bound your left leg together with the player next to you, were taken off of them and you were free to go. Well, back into the dorm area.

Anxiously, you sat on your bed and waited, for your team. Players streamed in, one after the other, just not the ones you were so desperate to see. You were biting your fingernails, your thoughts being flooded with the fear of them all just dying, being left alone to survive this shit.

Suddenly, you heard a voice call out for you. It was Dae-ho (who else?) who basically sprinted to you. Before you could even stand up to reciprocate his hug, he pulled you up into his arms, squeezing the air out if his lungs. "Do you know how scared I was?" he sounded really out of breath. You didn't reply, just hugged him back the best you could and watched Jung-bae laugh to himself, watching the two of you. "I'm so glad you're alive! I'll never let you do that again, okay? Next time, I'll be the one to find another group.. not you okay?" His word vomit just wouldn't stop.

"Let's hope there won't be a next time."

"Obviously there won't be, I won't ever let you leave again."

#squid game #squid game fanfic #squid game season 2 #squid game x reader #squid games x reader #squid games #kang dae ho x reader #kang dae ho #dae ho #dae ho x reader #player 388 x reader #player 388

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always-a-slut-4-ghouls · 2 years ago

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What you guys would be seeing if tumblr posted all my drafts tbh:

“Day three of my brother shouting at us because he saw something on the news over Christmas break”

But also

“If German is closer to English than English is to Norwegian then why is Norwegian so much easier to learn 🤨 things the government doesn’t want you to know about”

#emma posts #I don’t actually remember which is closer to English #and there are so many loan words going around #plus. I haven’t actually taken lessons on German. just seen my cousin do it #and read about it a little #while i have been doing Norwegian classes on Duolingo since April #and read up on the language before I even started #so it is not a fair comparison #gonna be honest with you though #going from English to Norwegian and THEN starting Swedish was definitely the best plan #if I hadn’t had that middle step i would fucking die #after those two it’s learning Spanish… again (three times isn’t enough I guess)#and one day. my magnum opus (that’s the word. right?) will be Icelandic #but that language is so much more isolated and hard to find lessons on #my amma is trying to learn it because her family did when she was a kid but man #that’s a big jump to make without learning 1 about the language in a linguistic sense #and 2 learning some of its relatives that are easier for native English speakers #none of this-well. I guess I would still need to learn Spanish- would be happening if everyone hadn’t told my grandparents to just speak #English as kids! I could know FOUR languages just from family #but noooo. You’re family comes to america and you only use English #I know it’s worse for a lot of non-white people when it comes to that #but I’m just so frustrated because I was just a little too late(in at least one case) to have learned from actual speakers in my own family!#that particular family way of speaking. any little quirks or accents. are gone #I don’t think Icelandic has accents though if I’m remembering correctly #but Norwegian and Swedish have sooooo many #I actually got to meet one of my great grandparents! but she died when I was about four or five #my grandpa was speaking (I think his family was the all Norwegian one #Norwegian on his deathbed and while my dad and his siblings could recognize the language and some names. they didn’t know what he was sayin #I will forever have to live with the fact that no one understood the last words my grandpa had spoken #I know. I know! it’s worse for immigrants from other cultures

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theetherealbloom · 6 months ago

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The Things I Would Do, Just To Be Here With You

Summary: Amidst the whirlwind of movie premieres and busy schedules, you and Pedro Pascal, both thriving in your respective careers, find ways to celebrate each other despite the distance. While Pedro promotes Gladiator 2 in London, he longs for your presence at the after-party.

Or, you two would scream at the stars for keeping you apart... and the government too.

“Pedro Pascal x f!reader, Pedro is promoting Gladiator 2, and reader is in Wicked (Elphaba or Galinda of course!) for the screenplay of Wicked, and they are just really supportive of each other but also joke about their own movie being the best. Finding time to come to each other’s premiers. Posting behind the scenes or visiting each other.” — From @imaginemixedfandom

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x F!Reader

Warnings: Established Relationship, TOOTH-ROTTING FLUFF, Slight Angst, Swearing, Anxiety, Surrounded by A-Listers, Cheesy Dialogue, Romance, Kissing, Real People Fiction, Red Carpet, Cameras, Paparazzi, Long Distance, Timezone Difference, Social Media, Interviews, I’m not a Spanish speaker, I might be wrong with the terms, please don’t come after me T^T,

Word Count: 4.4k

A/N: Ty @imaginemixedfandom for giving the idea! I didn’t really want to replace the reader with the cast of Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo. Those two are just too iconic. So instead I will make the reader a writer for the screenplay adaptation of Wicked tehe. You all should listen to brent iii by Jeremy Zucker and Chelsea Cutler, it’s absolutely one of my favorite albums of this year. Lastly, remember this is all fictional and for fun! Enjoyyyy my loves!

Side note: I’m dyslexic and English isn’t my first language! So I apologize in advance for the spelling and/or grammatical errors. As always, reblogs, comments, and likes are always appreciated. Thank you and happy reading!

Song: and the government too! By Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler

gif by @andrew-garfielld

| Main Masterlist |

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — EVENING

“Hi.” Your voice was soft as you nestled deeper into the duvet, your body cocooned in its comforting folds.

“Hola, mi amor.” Pedro’s face lit up on your phone screen, the warm timbre of his voice washing over you like a balm. “I miss you.” “I miss you too… so much,” you replied with a little pout. The time difference between London and New York was merciless. Between his packed schedule promoting Gladiator 2 and prepping for Fantastic Four, and your whirlwind of work with the Wicked movie premiere, your conversations had been reduced to stolen moments like this. Still, even through a screen, Pedro had a way of making you feel like the most important person in the world. “You look cozy,” he said with a lopsided grin, his brown eyes crinkling at the corners. “Meanwhile, I’m freezing my ass off here on set. I think my nose might fall off.” You laughed softly, the sound tinged with longing. “I’d trade you, you know. I’ll take the cold if it means I get to see you.”

“Don’t tempt me.” He leaned closer to the camera, his face filling your screen. “If I weren’t contractually obligated to be here, I’d hop on the next flight and show up at your premiere tomorrow. Red carpet and all.” You smiled wistfully, your fingers brushing against the edge of your phone as if you could reach through it to touch him. “You’d outshine me. Imagine the headlines: ‘Pedro Pascal steals the show at Wicked premiere.’” “Please. Everyone’s going to be talking about you. ‘Brilliant screenwriter dazzles Hollywood!’” He paused, his tone softening. “You’re incredible, you know that?” Your throat tightened at his words, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. “Stop, or I’ll actually cry, and my face will be all puffy for tomorrow.” He chuckled. “Okay, okay. But seriously, mi amor, I’m so proud of you. You’ve worked so hard for this.” “And so have you,” you countered. “The Gladiator 2 trailer broke the internet, and you still found time to send me flowers last week. You’re amazing, Pedro.” “Yeah, but flowers aren’t the same as being there with you.” His voice dipped, a hint of regret slipping through. “I hate being this far away.” You sighed, your heart aching in tandem with his. “Me too.”

For a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence filled with the unspoken tension of your shared longing. Then, Pedro’s grin returned, bright and mischievous. “So,” he said, leaning back in his chair, “who do you think has the better movie? Be honest.”

You raised an eyebrow, feigning offense. “Are you seriously asking me to compare Wicked to Gladiator 2? One’s a heartfelt, magical adaptation, and the other is a testosterone-filled epic. They’re different.”

“Uh-huh,” he teased, crossing his arms. “Sounds like you’re dodging the question. I knew you were scared to admit Gladiator 2 is better.”

You scoffed, sitting up straighter in bed. “Scared? Please. I just don’t want to hurt your feelings when Wicked inevitably becomes a global phenomenon.”

Pedro laughed, the sound rich and contagious. “You’re lucky I love you. Otherwise, this would be grounds for war.”

“Lucky? You’re the lucky one,” you shot back, smirking. “I’ll prove it when I finally see you in person again. But until then…”

You brought the phone closer, pressing a soft kiss to the screen. Pedro mimicked your gesture, his lips brushing his camera lens.

“Goodnight, mi vida,” he murmured.

“Goodnight, Pedro.” Your voice was tender, laced with all the love you couldn’t put into words.

As the call ended, you clutched the phone to your chest, a bittersweet smile tugging at your lips. Despite the distance, despite the chaos of your lives, you knew one thing for certain: Pedro Pascal would always be worth the wait.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — MORNING

Today was the day. You were walking the red carpet for the Wicked movie premiere. A sea of celebrities, producers, fellow writers, and editors would surround you. The sheer magnitude of it all left you feeling both giddy and utterly petrified.

You smoothed your hands over the silk robe you wore, your palms damp with nerves. While you loved the craft of storytelling, the spotlight had always felt daunting. You preferred to let your work speak for itself—a tendency that paired surprisingly well with dating Pedro Pascal, the literal human embodiment of charisma and charm.

“There, all done,” Laura, your makeup artist, said with a satisfied grin.

You blinked at your reflection in the mirror. Your skin glowed, your eyes were accentuated just enough to look striking without overwhelming, and your lips were painted a perfect shade of confidence.

“You’ve outdone yourself,” you said, giving her a warm smile.

“Of course I did,” Laura replied with a wink. “Big night for my favorite screenwriter.”

Mia, your stylist, emerged from behind a rack of gowns, holding up the dress. “Speaking of big nights... Ready to put this beauty on?”

You nodded, though your smile wavered. “I just wish Pedro were here,” you admitted, your voice quieter now.

Laura and Mia exchanged sympathetic glances before Laura gently squeezed your shoulder. “You’re going to look incredible, and he’d lose his mind if he saw you. How about we take some pictures to send him? A little preview for the man himself.”

You hesitated, glancing at your phone on the vanity. “I don’t want to distract him. He’s busy with interviews and set work. London and New York aren’t exactly next door…”

“All is fair in love and war,” Laura teased, her giggle breaking the tension. “Come on, babe! If anything, it’ll be motivation for him to hop on the next flight.”

Mia chimed in, smirking. “Or just to remind him what he’s missing. Trust me, teasing Pedro is a public service.”

You laughed despite yourself, feeling the nerves lift slightly. “Fine, fine. But if he complains, I’m blaming you two.”

They ushered you into the dress—a masterpiece of emerald silk and intricate detailing that clung perfectly in all the right places. As Mia zipped you up, Laura stepped back, her hands pressed dramatically over her heart.

“Pedro’s going to lose his shit.”

“You look like a literal goddess,” Mia added, spinning you toward the mirror.

For a moment, you hardly recognized yourself. The reflection staring back radiated elegance and confidence, even if you didn’t entirely feel it yet.

“Okay, okay. Take the pictures,” you relented, biting your lip as you tried to contain your grin.

Laura grabbed your phone and started snapping. You struck a few playful poses, twirling and laughing as Mia adjusted the hem of your dress. It felt silly, but imagining Pedro’s reaction warmed your chest.

Once the photos were taken, you grabbed your phone and hovered over the message screen. You debated for a moment, then attached the best photo and typed a quick message.

You: Wish you were here. But since you’re not... Enjoy this. Don’t let it distract you too much, cariño.

You hit send before you could second-guess yourself, the familiar swoosh of the message sending making your heart race.

The reply came faster than you expected.

Pedro: Distract me? How am I supposed to do anything now? You look like an angel. No, better than an angel. Drop-dead stunning.

You couldn’t stop the grin from taking over your face.

Pedro: Red carpet better be ready. They’ve got no idea who they’re dealing with tonight.

The butterflies in your stomach multiplied tenfold. Before you could reply, another message appeared.

Pedro: I’m so proud of you. Go knock ’em dead, mi amor. I love you.

Your throat tightened, and you had to blink back the sudden tears threatening to ruin Laura’s hard work. You tapped out a quick reply.

You: I love you too. Now go back to being the coolest man alive.

“You okay over there?” Mia asked, watching you with a knowing smile.

“More than okay,” you said softly, tucking your phone away.

As you prepared to step into the whirlwind of the premiere, Pedro’s words echoed in your mind. Even from thousands of miles away, he made you feel invincible.

Tonight wasn’t just about the red carpet or the glitz and glamour. It was about celebrating what you loved—and knowing Pedro would always be your biggest cheerleader, no matter where in the world he was.

UNITED KINGDOM, LONDON — AFTERNOON

Pedro sighed deeply, his head resting against the back of his chair. The steady hum of activity on set felt like background noise, the voices and clatter muffled by the ache in his chest. His fingers drummed lightly against his thigh, the motion absent-minded, a physical echo of the restlessness he felt inside.

He missed you.

It wasn’t the casual longing of someone who hadn’t seen their partner in a while—it was the kind of yearning that settled into his bones, heavy and persistent. A few hundred miles of ocean separated you, but it may as well have been an entire galaxy.

He opened his phone and scrolled back to the picture you’d sent him that morning. The emerald dress, the way it hugged your form, the way your eyes sparkled even in a still image—it took his breath away. You looked like a dream. His dream.

“If I were there right now…” he murmured under his breath, running his thumb over the screen as if he could touch you.

If it were as simple as hopping on a flight, he’d already be on his way. He imagined the way you’d light up when you saw him, how you’d rush into his arms. He’d bury his face in your hair, inhale your scent, and hold you so tightly that he’d forget about the world outside.

But it wasn’t that simple. The timing was off, as it so often was with both your careers in full swing. He was tied to the production schedule of Fantastic Four, and you were in the spotlight for Wicked. The universe seemed determined to keep you apart, and for the first time in years, Pedro felt the cracks in his patience.

He closed his eyes, resting his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward. “Damn stars. Damn schedules. Damn… government,” he muttered bitterly. The laugh that followed was humorless, the frustration thick in his voice.

If he could, he’d scream at the stars for conspiring against you both. Curse the invisible forces that made life so complicated. He’d barter with time itself, twist it and stretch it, just to have you here with him for a few stolen moments.

He wondered what you were doing right now. Were you nervous about the red carpet? Did you feel as hollow without him as he felt without you? Pedro clenched his jaw, guilt gnawing at him. You deserved to have him there, to walk that carpet with you, to hold your hand and beam with pride as you took in the applause for your work.

“Pedro, they’re ready for you!”

The call from a production assistant jolted him from his thoughts. He blinked, the weight of reality crashing back down as he stood and stretched.

“Be right there,” he called back, tucking his phone into his pocket.

As he made his way back to the soundstage, he couldn’t shake the thought of tomorrow. The Gladiator 2 premiere loomed ahead, another milestone he should be celebrating with you by his side. Instead, you’d be halfway across the world.

But one day, he promised himself, one day, nothing will keep us apart.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — EVENING

The flashing lights were relentless, casting an almost blinding glow over the red carpet. The screams of fans and the constant click of cameras created a symphony of chaos, one you weren’t entirely comfortable navigating. You’d always preferred the quiet—curled up with a book, tucked away from the world’s prying eyes.

But tonight, you smiled and posed alongside your cast and the production crew. You owed it to them, to yourself, and to the story you’d helped bring to life.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Winnie Holzman, the original writer of Wicked, leaned in with a smile, her eyes sparkling as she looked at the crowd.

You nodded, though your voice was tinged with nervousness. “It’s incredible. Overwhelming, but in the best way.”

“You’ve done amazing work,” Dana Fox chimed in, her excitement infectious. “We wouldn’t be standing here without your screenplay tying it all together.”

Jon M. Chu, ever the cheerleader, clapped you lightly on the back. “Tonight’s your night too. Own it.”

You laughed softly, feeling a little more at ease with their encouragement. Together, the four of you posed for the cameras, sharing a few candid laughs before heading closer to the press area.

As you stepped into the spotlight for interviews, the questions started flying.

“How does it feel to see Wicked finally come to life on the big screen?”

“It feels surreal,” you answered, your smile genuine. “Everyone on this project has poured so much heart into it. To see it come together like this is... overwhelming in the best way.”

“You’re known for being quite private. How are you handling all the attention tonight?”

“It’s definitely out of my comfort zone,” you admitted with a small laugh. “But I’m surrounded by such a talented and supportive team, which makes it easier.”

Then, inevitably, came the question you’d been bracing for. “We couldn’t help but notice that Pedro Pascal isn’t here tonight. Do you miss him?”

The question tugged at something deep inside you. “I miss him so much,” you said softly, your expression softening. “He’s busy promoting Gladiator 2 and filming in London. I know he wishes he could be here, just like I wish I could be there for him. We’re both incredibly proud of each other, though.” You grinned, a playful sparkle in your eyes. “But, of course, Wicked is better. Don’t tell him I said that.”

The interviewer laughed, and you followed with a wink before stepping away.

AFTER THE PREMIERE

As the credits rolled and the crowd applauded, you walked alongside Jon, Winnie, and Dana toward the exit. The night air was cool and refreshing after the heat of the theater.

“You were glowing on that carpet,” Winnie teased, nudging you gently.

Jon smirked. “Bet it’s because of a certain someone who couldn’t make it.”

You flushed immediately, your cheeks warming. “Stop,” you mumbled, though your smile betrayed your embarrassment.

“Oh, come on,” Dana added with a laugh. “You were gushing about him earlier. Just admit it—you’re head over heels.”

You sighed dramatically, though your heart raced just thinking about Pedro. “Okay, fine. I miss him like crazy. I just—” You paused, glancing up at the stars. “I wish I could be there for him, you know? For his premiere. He’s always so supportive of me. It feels wrong not to do the same.”

Jon stopped walking, turning to face you with a thoughtful look. “So go.”

“What?”

“Go to him,” he said with a shrug. “Take the jet. I’ll make the call.”

You blinked at him, stunned. “You—you’d let me do that?”

“Of course,” Jon said, waving off your concern. “You’re part of the heart of this project. If being with him makes you happy, it’s worth it.”

“But I don’t have a ticket, and I need to pack, and—”

Dana held up a hand, already pulling out her phone. “Relax. I’ll call a car, and we’ll pack together. You just focus on getting there.”

Before you could protest further, Jon had already stepped aside, dialing someone on his phone. Dana grabbed your arm and started steering you toward the waiting car.

“You’re really doing this,” she said, grinning.

“I—I guess I am.” Your voice trembled with excitement and nerves. “What if I don’t make it in time? What if—”

Dana cut you off with a gentle squeeze on your shoulder. “You’ll make it. And even if you don’t, just being there will mean everything to him.”

AT THE AIRPORT

The private jet was waiting for you, its sleek frame illuminated by the glow of the runway lights. You quickly texted Pedro’s manager and assistant, letting them know you were on your way.

You: I’m coming to London. Please don’t tell him. I want it to be a surprise.

The response was almost immediate:

Franklin Latt: Got it. He’s going to lose his mind—in the best way.

As you settled into your seat and the jet began to taxi, your heart raced. Seven hours separated you from Pedro, but for the first time in days, the distance didn’t feel insurmountable.

You leaned your head back against the seat, clutching your phone tightly as you closed your eyes. You could already picture the look on his face when he saw you.

Just hold on, Pedro. I’m on my way.

UNITED KINGDOM, LONDON, ODEON LUXE LEICESTER SQUARE — EVENING

The energy in Leicester Square was electric. Fans filled the barricades, the roar of excitement nearly drowning out the camera flashes as Pedro made his way down the red carpet. Dressed in a sharp black shirt, the top unbuttoned, slacks, his signature charm, and a warm smile lit up every interaction as he stopped to greet fans and pose for photos.

The press area was bustling, and soon Pedro found himself standing in front of a journalist holding a microphone.

“Pedro, congratulations on Gladiator 2! How does it feel to be here tonight celebrating this film?”

Pedro grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “It feels incredible. This is one of those projects you dream about as an actor, and to see it all come together, to see everyone’s hard work pay off, it’s… it’s a real honor.”

The interviewer nodded. “You’ve had an amazing year, between this and your other projects. But we couldn’t help but notice that someone special in your life had a big night recently—the Wicked premiere in New York. Did you get a chance to see any photos?”

Pedro’s face lit up instantly, a laugh bubbling out of him. “Oh, I did. Believe me, I did. She sent me some pictures, and I’ve seen the ones floating around online too. I mean… she looked absolutely stunning. Like, knock-you-out, breathtakingly gorgeous. I might be a little biased, but still.”

The crowd nearby caught wind of his gushing, and a few cheers erupted. Pedro laughed, scratching the back of his neck.

“Honestly, I’m so proud of her,” he continued, his voice softening. “She poured so much of herself into that screenplay, and to see her get the recognition she deserves? It’s the best feeling in the world.”

The interviewer smiled. “There’s definitely a lot of love and mutual admiration between you two. Word on the street is you’ve got a bit of a friendly competition going on—Gladiator 2 versus Wicked. Any truth to that?”

Pedro chuckled, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Oh, it’s absolutely true. We’ve got a bet going. She’s convinced Wicked is going to sweep the box office, and I, of course, have complete faith in Gladiator 2. Let’s just say the stakes are high—winner gets breakfast in bed for a week.”

The interviewer laughed along with him. “That’s adorable. Who’s winning so far?”

Pedro smirked. “Let’s just say she’s got me a little worried. But I’ll never admit that to her.”

LATER, BACKSTAGE

Pedro leaned against the wall, sipping from a glass of water while chatting with Paul Mescal. Their conversation flowed easily, but Pedro’s gaze kept drifting toward the entrance, as if hoping for some sort of miracle.

“You’ve got that look again,” Paul teased, nudging him with his elbow.

“What look?” Pedro asked, feigning ignorance.

“The ‘I’m desperately in love and missing my girl’ look,” Paul quipped with a grin.

Denzel Washington, who had just joined the conversation, chuckled. “He’s not wrong, man. You’ve been staring off into space like a lovesick teenager.”

Joe Quinn walked by, overhearing the exchange and throwing in his two cents. “It’s cute, though. Very romantic. Someone should write a movie about it.”

Pedro rolled his eyes, though a bashful smile crept onto his face. “Okay, okay, I miss her. Can you blame me? She’s halfway across the world, and I can’t stop thinking about her.”

Frank, Pedro’s manager, stepped in, giving him a supportive pat on the back. “You’ve got it bad, buddy. But hey, it’s not a bad problem to have.”

Frank couldn’t help but smile to himself, already knowing what Pedro didn’t—that you were on your way. He could only imagine Pedro’s reaction when he saw you walk through those doors.

“Alright,” Pedro said with a dramatic sigh, “can we please focus on the fact that we’re here for Gladiator 2 and not my love life?”

“Sure,” Paul said, smirking. “But if she shows up, we’re all watching you lose it.”

Pedro laughed, shaking his head. “I’ll take that bet.”

Little did he know, he was about to owe a lot of people a round of drinks.

UNITED KINGDOM, LONDON, ODEON LUXE LEICESTER SQUARE — EVENING

The crowd in the after-party buzzed with excitement, a mix of A-list chatter and glasses clinking. Pedro stood near Lux, their conversation about the night’s success lighthearted, though his gaze kept drifting toward the entrance. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, only that the ache of missing you hadn’t dulled, even amidst all the celebration.

Lux, sharp-eyed as always, caught the slight shift in his expression and smirked. “You’ve got that look again,” she teased.

“What look?” Pedro asked, feigning nonchalance as he sipped his drink.

“The one that screams, ‘I wish she were here.’” Lux nudged his arm playfully.

Before he could muster a witty retort, Lux’s eyes darted toward the entrance, widening in surprise. “Well, speak of the devil…”

Pedro turned, following her gaze, and the breath left his lungs.

There you were, stepping into the room, your black silk gown catching the dim lights perfectly. Your hair, slightly tousled from the rush, framed your face with an effortless beauty that made his heart stop. Heads turned as you walked in with Frank, but Pedro didn’t notice anyone else.

He froze, jaw slack, his mind racing to comprehend that you were actually here.

“Pedro,” Lux whispered, amused. “Close your mouth before you catch a fly.”

But Pedro couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. All he could do was watch as you walked toward him, the soft smile on your lips turning into a grin as your eyes met his. He vaguely registered Joe, Paul, and Denzel laughing nearby, but he didn’t care. You were here.

When you finally stopped in front of him, your grin widened, and you quipped, “Sorry, I’m late. Traffic was terrible—there’s a movie premiere happening, and I—”

Before you could finish, Pedro moved.

He swept you up in his arms, lifting you off your feet as a chorus of cheers, whistles, and laughter erupted around you. You let out a surprised giggle, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck as he held you close, burying his face against your shoulder.

“Dios mío,” Pedro murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “You’re here.”

“I’m here,” you whispered back, your fingers threading through his curls.

He pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes brimming with love. “I can’t believe this. You’re really here.”

You smiled, tears threatening to spill as you cupped his face. “I couldn’t let you have all the fun without me.”

Pedro didn’t hesitate. He closed the distance, kissing you with a fervor that made the entire room fade away. The kiss was deep, all-consuming, and when you finally pulled back, both of you were breathless.

Your laughter broke the moment, and Pedro pressed his forehead to yours, his hands still firmly around your waist as if afraid you might disappear. “Thank you,” he whispered, his voice trembling slightly.

“For what?” you asked softly, your fingers tracing the line of his jaw.

“For being here. For being you. For… everything.” His voice was low, reverent. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’ll never stop thanking the universe for it.”

You kissed him again, a soft press of lips this time, and smiled against his mouth. “You don’t have to thank the universe. Just let me love you.”

Pedro let out a soft laugh, his arms tightening around you. “You’re incredible, you know that?”

“You’ve mentioned it once or twice,” you teased, resting your head against his chest as the room slowly came back into focus.

From the sidelines, Joe nudged Paul, chuckling. “Think he’s gonna let her go anytime soon?”

Paul smirked. “Not a chance.”

Denzel clinked his glass against Joe’s. “Now that’s a man in love.”

And Pedro? He didn’t care about the laughter, the cameras, or even the early morning call time tomorrow. For now, you were in his arms, and nothing else mattered.

#pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x f!reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x ofc #gladiator 2 #pedro pascal #wicked #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal masterlist #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal smut

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pyfsan · 8 months ago

Text

Your taste on my lips

pairing: bf!jake x fem!reader

genre: smut (minors DNI)

synopsis: no plot, just reader and her bf jake fucking and being dirty

wc: 1k

warnings: rough sex (just at the beginning) mention of bruises, cum eating, oral (m receiving), face fucking, fingering, a bit of dirty talk (jake is chalant), also jake is a whimper. i think that's everything

☆

note: this is the first time I'm writing in English and I'm not a native speaker so there will be grammar mistakes so just read past it..... and be patient

smut under the cut

The thing is... jake doesn't know the time to stop. To the point you have to yell at him that you need to breathe a little, or even that it's hurting. He gets so drunk in the feeling that his senses become nothing and he can't hear for shit. But once your voice comes tearing through his ears he just completely freezes in place, looking at you with both eyes wide open.

"I'm sorry babe, did i hurt you?" He asks, soft voice as he runs his hands on the skin your legs, soothing you down.

"Just... go less rough, it'll bruise me later" you say back, trying to recover your breath.

"I'll kiss the bruise away, don't worry" he says cockingly and you slap his arm

"I'm being serious, your cock will tear me apart if you don't slow down" you hiss back and he kisses your neck picking up his pace again, but being much more gentle.

He buries his face in the curve of your neck, licking and sucking your skin just to compensate the steady pace he set himself, almost like to control his impulses. It makes you moan as his mouth keeps working on your sensitive skin and it gets even harder when jake goes down to bite and suck your nipples. He's actually unable to keep his pretty mouth empty, always having his puffy lips on your breasts, neck, pussy or even ass. He doesn't care as longs as his tongue is busy with your body.

Jake ends up caught in the heat all over again but now it doesn't hurt anymore so when his pace increases crazy hard all you manage to do is moan and dig your nails on his arms. You feel the moment he can't control his mouth around your nipple anymore, leaving his lips parted over your skin as he drools, feeling dizzy from how your pussy clenchs around his cock, milking him until he is moaning nonstop. He cannot cum inside you, you have agreed to don't do that so jake is almost fainting trying to hold his orgasm as long as he can. But he's losing this time so he pulls out of you to cum over your belly, dropping the most pornographic whimpers to your ears. You don't think for even a second before leading your hand to the mess he's made on you and picking his cum with your fingers. Jake watches you with his face high as you sink your dirty fingers into your mouth to taste him.

"Now you'll have to do that to my cock" he says, picking your cheeks with one of his hands to bring your face to his, kissing your wet lips.

"But will you let me fuck myself while i suck you off?" you plea, dolled eyes shining under your dark lashes, jake almost let out a moan as he hear you say those words. He can't believe you're so dirty like this for him.

"I can do that for you, babe" he'll say back, with his fingers running down to your wet core. You sigh when he finds your clit and presses it, rubbing gently first.

His cock starting to get hard again by the feeling of you under his fingers, so wet for him. Even thou he loves you so much and find it so endearing the way you cannot take your eyes away from his face while you fuck, jake himself likes to spend time looking over your body and the way it moves under his touch. So as he rubs your pussy, he watches the way you lift your leg a bit more, the way your stomach moves faster as your breathe gets faster and how your tits bounces a little when he starts fingering you. The whole thing is just pure magic for him. When jake notice, he's hard as fuck again, rocking his hips on your leg to get some release before sitting above your stomach to put it in your mouth.

You part your lips open, receiving his weight on your tongue and then swallowing as much as possible. Jake is no monster cock but he's no near little either, so you find yourself fighting for air anyways everytime you give him head. To your liking, jake already knows how you prefer doing it so he just starts fucking your mouth immediately, getting a little sloppy with his fingers on your pussy but you don't even mind it. Seeing the way he loses himself inside your mouth little by little is the best part. He grabs you neck using his free hand and just rolls his hips into your face nonstop, causing wet sounds to scape your mouth which is full of him. Once again he's whimpering and sighing, closing his eyes so tight he starts seeing white spots.

"Oh my god, i want to fuck that pretty mouth everyday" he starts babbling, head thrown back and eyes shut and you watch as he does his best to continue to massage your clit "I'm gonna fill your mouth with my cum, do you like it?" he says now looking back at you seeing you blink as an answer since you cannot talk right now. "you're so hot, fuck" he just goes back to babbling before he cums deep in your throat. He stops his hands on your pussy for a moment, lost in his senses, holding your head with both hands to keep you in place through his orgasm.

You do your best to breath by your nose, focusing to not choke on his sensitive cock. Jake pulls out and sits back on your lap eyes glued on your face.

"Let me see it" he asks touching your chin with his index finger so you open your mouth enough for him to see his cum all over your tongue and throat. Your boyfriend smiles with pride and closes your mouth "now swallow it for me, babe" he tells you and so you do, then he leans in to lend a kiss on your lips.

"I'm gonna make you cum now" he just says, brushing his nose over yours.

#enhypen hard hours #enhypen smut #jake smut #jake sim #pyfsan

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itneverendshere · 4 days ago

Text

it's my right to be hellish - r.c +18

pairing: : kelce's!sister x hockey!rafe warnings: angst; smut.

Empty cans and half-finished drinks were littering the space around you, the night felt perfect. You were tucked comfortably between Rafe's legs, his jacket draped over your shoulders, your head resting against his chest, while the latest round of Never Have I Ever brought loud laughter.

The drinking game had started out of the living room and spilled onto the wide wooden porch. Someone had dragged out an old speaker, and now a half-decent playlist played.

It was fun, being back home. Loud, tipsy fun, buzzing in your chest and making your cheeks hurt from smiling too much.

Rafe kept tracing patterns on your thigh that made it hard to focus on anything except him, Every once in a while, he’d lean down and kiss your temple, absent-minded like he couldn’t help it.

He’d say something under his breath, usually about JJ or Toppeer being the worst at these games, and you’d laugh while his nose brushed your cheek. His fingers would kept tapping on your knee in rhythm with whatever song was playing.

Your brother was sitting on the steps with Topper, both of them halfway into their fifth drink, arguing about who should’ve been MVP.

They weren’t paying much attention to the game, which was honestly a relief. You loved Kelce, but you didn’t need him locked in on the way Rafe kept touching you, for his own sake.

Cleo was leaned up against Pope’s side, Kie was teasing JJ, who’d already spilled half his drink and was slurring his way through a story about falling off his board.

Everything felt warm and dumb and happy.

Rafe had just whispered something in your ear—about stealing you away later, after everyone passed out—and you were blushing, smiling into your drink, when the next “Never Have I Ever” was called out.

"Never have I ever..." someone called out—Sam. You didn’t know the guy, he was a junior who tagged along after games and Topper dragged him to Kildare this weekend.

"...slept with two people here."

It was stupid, a throwaway, someone laughed. Your brother made a dumb “ooOOoooh” noise.

You didn’t drink.

You didn’t notice at first—your head still leaned against Rafe’s chest, your cup balanced against your leg.

And then—quietly.

“Wait.”

JJ’s voice.

His eyes were wide, cheeks flushed with cheap tequila. “Wait,” he slurred again, blinking hard. “Why didn’t you two drink?”

The way he said it—the emphasis. You two.

Your eyes snapped to him, and that’s when you saw it—his head moving between you and Pope. Turning back and forth, exaggerated like it was clicking for him.

The implication wasn’t subtle and Rafe’s hand stilled completely.

JJ kept going, oblivious.

“Didn’t you guys, like... back in the day? That summer? When we were sixteen?”

Each word felt like a bomb dropping into your stomach.

Kelce’s head jerked up. “Wait—what?”

Pope’s posture went rigid, not looking at anyone, staring at the ground, hoping it might disappear and take him with it.

“I thought everyone knew,” JJ was confused now, trying to figure out what made the mood turn.

Nobody knew. Only Kie, JJ, you and Pope. Not even Sarah.

You were sixteen, younger, unsure of everything but how safe you felt around Pope. It hadn’t been serious or a thing. You liked him a little, sure, but never the way you liked Rafe. He made you laugh, and you used to sit with him in the library, pretending to work on some dumb english project neither of you cared about. You both just wanted a reason to stay longer.

You remembered how close you sat at that table, your knees would brush and neither of you would move, you’d share earbuds and lowkey forget about the book you were supposed to be reading.

It was innocent, sweet. One night, he came over to finish your final paper—Kelce was at a party, your parents were out, it was late, you were both tired and laughing at nothing—and it just... happened.

You didn’t plan it.

You just looked at him too long, and he looked back, and then you kissed him and he kissed you and—it wasn't anything more than what it was. You lost your virginity to him that night.

The next day, you both kind of... moved on, it hadn’t changed anything. You stayed friends.

The memory shattered against the present moment, and you blinked back into reality with everybody’s eyes on you.

Your brother was staring, sitting up straighter, confusion creasing his brow. Topper looked like he was waiting for the drama to explode. Kie wouldn’t meet your eyes. Cleo was watching Pope. Sam left.

Rafe hadn’t moved.

You turned toward him, cautious and that’s when he stood up.

No drama or yelling, only tugging his arm as your fingers instinctively reached for him.

“Gonna get a drink.”

He was gone, walking back into the house without another word.

The porch was silent, all you could hear was the music playing low through the speaker, something stupidly out of place.

JJ, finally realizing what he’d dropped, sank lower into his seat, whispering, “Shit… I’m sorry…”

Kelce was still gawking at you—not angry, only trying to process the last five minutes. Topper, for once in his life, was smart enough not to say anything.

Pope hadn’t moved. His hands clasped together between his knees, eyes focused on the floorboards, bracing for Cleo to say something.

“Alrigh’,” Cleo said with a little laugh, voice extremely calm for how tense the porch was, “that was a messy one. Let’s call that a warm-up and move it along, yeah?”

You looked at her and there was no anger on her face.

“Y’all actin’ like they confessed to murder,” she added, head tilted, eyes briefly flicking to Pope—long enough to tell him we good.

“I mean,” she continued, sipping her drink and leaning back against the railing, “y’all were sixteen.”

Kie let out a breath she’d been holding. “Yeah. Seriously. Prehistoric.”

Cleo waved her cup. “Next question. Something less nuclear. Who’s got one?”

You could’ve cried right there.

She was giving everyone a way out. Even Pope seemed to uncoil, his shoulders relaxing as he risked a glance her way. She met his eyes and gave the smallest imperceptible nod.

You on the other hand couldn’t relax, Rafe was still inside. And no matter how cool Cleo was, how well she was patching the mood back together, you needed to find him.

You turned to Kie, “I should go check on him.”

She nodded immediately. “Yeah. Go.”

Behind you, the game limped forward again—someone throwing out a weak “Never have I ever gone skinny dipping,” and a few forced chuckles followed.

Cleo leaned back into the railing, her drink raised just enough to signal a toast to no one in particular. “See?”

You moved down the hall, past the kitchen, past the half-empty counters stacked with liquor bottles and someone’s abandoned vape, past where Kelce had tossed his hoodie earlier—and still, no Rafe.

Your heart was in your throat now, fists tight at your sides.

Eventually, you found him inside one of the rooms—door cracked, lights off. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, hands clasped in front of his mouth.

You stayed in the doorway. “Rafe?”

He didn’t look up, and that’s when the real panic started. The messy kind that starts in your stomach and climbs up your spine.

Because he didn’t look mad.

“Can you just—say something?” you asked, “Please.”

Nothing.

And your brain was spiraling now.

He hates me. He thinks I lied. He thinks I’m disgusting. He’s probably rethinking everything. I wouldn’t blame him. He’s gonna walk away. This is it. This is how I lose him and I didn’t even do anything wrong but I still should’ve known, I should’ve said it, I should’ve—

“Rafe,” you said again, louder now. “We weren’t serious. We weren’t—”

His jaw flexed and it shut you up.

What the fuck?

Okay, fine. It was a surprise, but it wasn’t like you cheated. It wasn’t even during, it was years ago. And more than that—Rafe wan’t a saint before you.

God, the night you two became official, literally that night, you heard a cheerleader gossiping in the bathroom about how she fucked him for two hours in a jacuzzi sophomore year. She’d laughed about it like it was a badge of honor. Said she tried again this year, too—while you and Rafe were already hooking up—but he turned her down.

What was the difference? You weren’t virgins. None of you were pure and untouched, saving yourselves for the perfect person.

Why did it suddenly feel wrong—something you should’ve hidden, something shameful? You weren’t ashamed when it happened, you were sixteen. You didn’t even know who you were yet, but you knew Pope was kind, he made you laugh, feel safe and it wasn’t a life-changing romantic tragedy.

You wanted to ask him how the fuck it’s any different than the girl in the bathroom or the other stories you’ve had to hear secondhand over the years before you got together. But your heart was also twisting and telling you it was your job to fix this.

You shut the guest room door behind you harder than you meant to, not slammed, but loud enough that it made Rafe flinch.

“Are you seriously gonna sit there and say nothing?”

Your voice already sounded wrong.

He chose to keep staring straight ahead, hoping the moment would dissolve if he didn’t engage.

“Say something,” you snapped.

Silence.

That did it.

“Rafe—grow up.

His head jerked toward you then, “Grow up?"

"That's not what I m—"

"You’re the one who kept it a secret.”

“There was nothing to tell.

“You slept with Pope.”

You reeled back like he just spat in your face. “So fucking what?”

His hands were fisted, elbows braced on his knees. “You don’t think that’s something I deserved to know? T-that you fucked a mutual friend? Lost your virginity to him?”

“Excuse me?” He must’ve been out of his fucking mind. “No,” you laughed, disbelieving, “Absolutely not. You do not get to throw that at me like I fucking owe you that confessional.”

“I’m just saying—”

“You’re just saying what, Rafe?” you barked, stepping forward. “That because I didn’t sit you down and cry about who I lost it to, that I’m what—dishonest? A fucking liar?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“It’s exactly what you said!” You were yelling, it scraped your throat and left your lungs raw. “Who the fuck did you lose your virginity to? Huh?” You jabbed a finger at his chest. “Was it that girl from Figure Eight who used to sneak out of church to meet you behind the dunes? Was it the lifeguard? That barista you ‘don’t even remember the name of’?”

His mouth opened, but no answer came out.

“Exactly,” you scoffed. “You never told me. I never asked, it doesn’t fucking matter. I know—I trust—that what we have now is real.”

“It’s different,” Rafe growled, “You’re still close with him! You had a project together —last month, for fuck’s sake—”

You blinked at him, stunned. “So what?!”

“So it’s not ancient history!” he shouted. “You see him every other day, you talk to him—”

“And? And what?” you demanded. “I’m—secretly in love with him? I’m gonna leave you for Pope because we had sex one time when we were sixteen? Grow the fuck up!”

You knew this wasn’t about Pope. It was Rafe, how he’d never had to feel small in someone’s eyes before, never talked about his parents divorce, and now he didn’t know how to sit with it.

He didn’t answer, and it wrecked you.

You threw your hands out, helpless.

“What do you want me to say? That I wish it never happened? You want me to rewrite my whole fucking life to make you feel better?”

His eyes snapped up at that, wild, the blue in them flickering like flame.

“I want to not fucking picture it every time I see you standing next to him from now on,” he exploded, the first honest thing he said since you walked in.

Your jaw dropped open, breath punched out of you. “You are so—wrong. Jesus, Rafe. You are so fucking wrong.”

He looked like he might break in half from hearing you say it.

“I don’t know. I don’t know, okay? I’ve never done this before. I’ve never—fuck—I’ve never loved someone like this before. It’s making me lose my mind.”

“It wasn’t serious. You and me—this is the most serious thing I’ve ever had.” You pressed your hand flat against your chest, hoping it held your heart together. “I have never, not once, made you feel like you weren’t everything to me. And you’re sitting here, making me feel like some dirty little secret because of something that happened when I was a fucking kid.”

He ran a hand down his face, eyes closed. You saw the tremble in his shoulders that had nothing to do with anger and everything to do with fear.

“Why did it have to be him?”

“What?”

His voice was strained. “Why did it have to be Pope?”

Not the fact that it happened, but who it happened with. What does that mean now?

“We were kids. It wasn’t planned.”

Rafe laughed bitterly. “Yeah. He’s still around, still in your life. Still—"

The way he spat that word out.

You stepped toward him, “Do you think I want him?”

“Was it good?” he asked suddenly, sharply, it leaped out of him before he could stop it. “With him?”

You stared at him, gut twisting. “Don’t do that.”

“I want to know.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I do.” His voice cracked. “Because if it was... if it meant something—"

“You’re asking because you want to hurt.”

You folded your arms across your chest, as if it could somehow shield you from this version of him—this paranoid, desperate, spiraling version you didn’t recognize.

“It meant nothing. You don’t believe me?”

“I don’t know.” His laugh was hollow, “You didn’t tell me before.”

“It wasn’t a secret—”

“I never even asked you about your exes,” he spat, turning on you suddenly. “I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to think about you with anyone else. But now—fuck—it’s in my head and I can’t unsee it. I had to hear it from JJ, of all people, at a fuckin’ party. Like it was a joke.”

You flinched, because yeah—you hadn’t thought about it like that.

Rafe’s voice dipped, gutted: “He said you two. Like it’s still happening.”

“It’s not, baby. You know it’s not.”

“You hang out. You text. You sit in his passenger seat and you laugh at his jokes and—”

“And what? What do you think that means?”

His face was twisted, stuck somewhere between heartbreak and humiliation. You saw the insecurity chewing him up from the inside out. You understood what was happening. Rafe had always been the one who knew more, the one with stories you had to smile through, girls you never named but always noticed. But one old hidden memory of yours—one ancient, dusty, barely-relevant chapter—was enough to make him unravel.

“I know what it sounded like, when JJ said it.” Your voice wavered, “It sounded wrong, like it was more than that, but it wasn’t and it isn’t. You know JJ—he doesn’t think before he speaks. He doesn’t get that it would land like that.”

Even if you understood why he was acting this way, it didn’t make it hurt less that he doubted you.

“I’m with you,” you reminded him through your teeth. "You don’t get to sit there and make me feel like I’m ruining this.”

“You’re not,” he added quietly.

“Then what the fuck is this, Rafe? What are we doing right now?”

He looked at you like you slapped him—but you were past coddling him through this, you were beeling for him and it sill didn’t look like it was enough.

“I didn’t come here to beg for your forgiveness for something that happened when I was sixteen. You want to be mad? Fine. Be mad.”

“You two make sense. Anyone but me."

“What?” It hit you like ice water. “You think I settled for you?”

“No,” he muttered, avoiding your eyes. “I think you picked me even though you shouldn’t have. And one day, you’re gonna realize that. And when you do—”

You're gonna leave him like his mom left Ward.

You didn’t let him finish. “Don’t.”

“You’re gonna leave. And I won’t be mad. I’ll understand, I always knew I didn’t deserve this.”

You went still, heart dropping so fast, you swore it made a sound

“You think that little of yourself?” you asked, “I don’t want anyone else. That chapter’s over, it’s been over.”

He looked at you then, chest heaving, eyes bloodshot and glassy.

“I love you in a way I never did anyone else—and I never will. Do you hear me?” you say, stepping closer. “I love you.”

He swallowed.

“And if you can’t trust that—then maybe we don’t work. But don’t you dare reduce me to a choice I made when I was sixteen because you’re scared.”

“I didn’t mean to—” he choked out. “I didn’t want to…”

“You love me?” you asked.

His eyes shot to you, almost panicked.

“I love you so much it makes me fucking sick,” he said, voice ragged. “And I hate that it makes me like this.”

You flinched because you felt that too. You took a breath that hurt on the way in, looking at the boy you loved—the boy who was spiraling through self-hate and fear.

“I’m so fucking scared of losing you,” he confessed.

You were torn between screaming at him or dropping to your knees and holding him until the shaking stopped. Rafe rubbed at his eyes, hoping to wipe the shame off, and when he glanced back at you, his eyes were desperate.

You crossed the space between you in three steps.

He had no time to react before your hands were on his face, cupping his cheeks, your thumbs sweeping over the edge of his cheekbones, his eyes fluttering shut.

“Look at me.”

He didn’t at first, so you tried harder.

“Rafe. Look at me.”

When he finally did, there was that ache in your chest again.

“I’m not gonna pretend I know what it’s like in your head. But I do know you. You’d rip yourself to pieces before you ever hurt me on purpose.”

“But I did hurt you.”

You nodded. “Yeah. You did.”

His bottom lip quivered.

“I still love you,” you added, “Even when it hurts when you push and say shit you don’t mean.”

Rafe exhaled a sound that was almost a sob, pulling you into his chest, unable to stand the space between you.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, again and again, mouth pressed to your temple, “I’m so sorry.”

You held him, fingers threading through the back of his hair, knowing it always soothed him.

“I didn’t mean to—I just—fuck, I got scared. It’s ugly. I know it’s ugly.”

You shook your head, brushing his hair back, lips trembling as you leaned in and kissed him. His mouth opened against yours, a muffled groan catching in the back of his throat as you deepened it, tasting every ounce of his devastation.

You pushed him back onto the bed and followed, knees straddling his thighs, never breaking the kiss. His fingers dug into your waist and then up your thighs as you pulled back, noses brushing, your breaths mingling in the dark.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you reminded him, forehead resting against his.

Rafe exhaled shakily, trying not to cry.

“I’m not gonna leave when shit gets hard.”

His eyes squeezed shut. “I know. I know, I—I get this voice in my head and it says, this is where she leaves you. And I believe it. Every time.”

“Believe me harder.” You kissed him again, “You’re it for me. You’ve always been it.”

Rafe pulled you in, holding you against his chest, kissing you over and over—mouth, cheeks, jaw,—whispering apologies into your skin like prayers, voice shaking on every one.

“Don’t push me away again. I need you to try. You can’t shut down when something scares you.”

He nodded, absorbing each word one at a time. “Never,” he swore, “I’d rather die.”

“We’re okay?”

“We are,” Rafe promised instantly, “We are, baby. I’m sorry.”

You nodded, your arms curling around his neck as he sat up, kissed you hard, deeper than before—a vow. His hands were on your back, sliding down, pressing into the dip of your spine, then lower.

You felt his teeth graze your bottom lip, a quiet hum escaping him when you tugged his hair the way he liked, your name leaving his lips as a sigh, a prayer.

Your hips rolled against his without thinking and he moaned, hands tightening on your skin, grinding you against him as he turned his attention to your neck, teeth scraping, tongue soothing, sucking bruises because he needed to leave marks.

Those pretty deep plum echoes he yearned to see, indigo and aubergine proof that you were his, that he could still have you after everything, that you wanted him still.

Rafe rasped your name, forehead dropping to your shoulder, full body jerking up to meet yours. You pawed at the hem of his shirt, yanking it over his head within seconds, fingers immediately splaying across his bare chest. His skin was flushed as you dragged your long nails down his torso only to feel the way he shuddered.

He pulled at your shirt just as desperately, tongue only abandoning yours for a second, enough to strip it off and toss it somewhere behind you both. His hands cupped your breasts through your bra, brushing over your nipples until you gasped into his mouth, arching into him, begging without words.

“I need you,” he breathed, eyes locked on yours, pleading. “Please—need to feel you. That you still want me.”

You crushed your lips against his as an answer, letting him taste the promise in it.

“I am yours,” you muttered against his mouth. “Always been yours.”

Rafe wasted no time licking your chest as he unclasped your bra, every second of waiting pure agony. He mouthed at your skin, worshipful, leaving wet kisses along the tops of your breasts before taking one nipple into his mouth, sucking hard enough to make your hips jump against him.

God, the way he looked at you—you were squirming, moving shamelessly, your body begging for him. He grabbed a handful of your ass, squeezing, lifting you to rock your soaked core harder against the perfect line of his cock.

“You have no idea what you do to me…”

You did. You felt it every single day.

The lamplight washed over you both, casting shadows on your rich, warm skin—deep brown with undertones that reminded him of sunset light, the same shade he remembered from that first party last semester, when he saw you laughing under string lights, glowing, and thought, God, she's gonna be mine.

Rafe’s pupils were blown wide, lips swollen while his hands were under your thighs, lifting you enough to stand and shove your jeans and underwear down your legs in a desperate motion. His eyes dropped, breath hitching at the sight of you bare.

His rough hands ran up the backs of your legs, spreading over the curve of your ass. “You’re perfect. You’re—fuck, baby, I—”

You cut him off because if he kept talking you were going to lose it before he touched you properly. You climbed back into his lap, scorching skin meeting denim, the thick ridge of his cock caught the way you needed. The groan he let out went straight to your pussy.

“Off,” you begged against his mouth, tugging at his belt, the button of his jeans. “Now.”

He didn’t hesitate, pants and boxers gone in seconds, and then he was there, painfully hard against your thigh. Your body clenched at the sheer size of him as you looked down between you, pink flushed tip leaking.

You dragged your hand over him and his head fell back, jaw going slack, eyes fluttering shut. His hips bucked helplessly into your palm, breath stuttering as you teased the tip, spreading his precum with your thumb.

“I’m yours,” you whispered, “Only yours.”

He opened his eyes then, grabbing your wrist, pulling away, guiding you to straddle him again. Lining himself up with shaky hands and whispering, "Please... I need to feel you. Need you to take me, baby, please—"

You slid down onto him in one slow, wet glide.

The stretch made your whole body shudder—He was deep, every inch claimed by you, and the sounds he made—guttural, painful—made your eyes roll back.

Rafe’s forehead dropped to your chest while he gripped you hard enough to hurt. “I’m gonna—fuck, I can’t—”

You rocked your hips, teasing, and he cursed again, trying so hard not to lose it. His hands ran up your back, fingertips pressing into your spine.

“Get on your knees for me, baby.”

You obeyed without a word, legs embarrassingly shaky as you turned in his lap and leaned forward onto your hands, ass arched high, heart pounding. Before you settled fully, he yanked you back, keeping your spine curved but tugging your upper body to rest against his chest.

He knelt behind you, your back pressed tight to his torso, thick muscular thighs bracketing yours. One arm wrapped around your middle, the other spreading your legs wider.

He pushed back inside, and you whined—again—because no matter how many times he took you, it always felt like the first. The drag of his cock along your folds made your hips stutter back against him in plea.

Rafe’s mouth was at your ear in a flash.

“Gonna fuck you just like this. Keep you open for me.”

That hand around your stomach slid lower, holding you firm as he rocked his hips—sinking back inside you with a groan like it was killing him. Your hands scrambled for purchase, gripping the edge of the bed, the sheets—anything—as he filled you over and over, the angle so intense it stole your breath.

His chest was pressed to your back, skin on skin, drooling over your shoulder. Slow at first, torturously slow. His hips rocking into you, dragging his cock along every sensitive inch, hitting that spot deep deep inside that makes you clench like an animal in heat.

You shuddered, back arching harder as he twitched inside you again in the span of seconds. He pressed you harder to him, his nose buried in your curls, mouth dragging lazy kisses along your neck.

Rafe's hand roamed your body eagerly—over your belly, your ribs, up between your breasts where he cupped one roughly.

“Tell me you’re mine,” he hissed, rutting up into you, the slap of skin on skin getting louder, “Say it.”

“You—fuck—Rafe, I’m yours,” You gasped when he ground even deeper. “I’m yours, a-always yours.”

You were being used, held open, filled—but loved, too. Worshiped

His hand dropped teased lower, down your stomach but he didn’t rush it. His palm cupped your mound, simply resting there for a moment while he fucked up into you with punishing thrusts.

“Rafe, I need—”

“I know what you need,” he breathed. “…I’ve got you."

His fingers found your clit, slicking through the mess between your thighs before circling it enough to make your eyes roll back. The tease of it made your whole body clamp down around him, and he swore, pace faltering as your walls gripped him like a vice.

Your mouth fell open as he only circled your clit harder.

“Can’t stop touching you,” he murmured, licking your jaw between words. “You’re so fucking perfect. Look at you.”

You could hardly offer a whimper, your head falling against his shoulder again, trying to ride his hand too.

Rafe chuckled low, breath warm on your skin.

“Greedy girl,” he tsked.

You shook your head desperately. “More."

He grunted into your neck, thrusting up harder, chasing the feeling of you milking him. Your thighs started to tremble like leafs again, muscles burning, as his touch worked you closer, closer, closer.

You came with a strangled cry, body bucking in his arms, your inner walls pulsing hard. Without a single warning, Rafe shifted positions, guiding you down onto your side, still behind you, still inside you.

His arm hooked under your leg, lifting it, opening you wider as he started to fuck into you again—a mean pounding that had your eyes rolling back in your head, into another galaxy.

The new angle hit even deeper, every movement drawing a wrecked moan from your lips. Your body was sensitive, but especially needy.

Rafe kissed your shoulder, “Gimme more, baby. I need it.”

His hand trailed to the inside of your thigh, gripping behind your knee as he pressed it up and back, opening you fully to him. Your cries came out sweeter, tinged with the overstimulation and the love that dug under your ribs.

“I don’t d-deserve you,” he said again, voice broken, forehead pressed to the back of your neck, hips rolling forward.

You turned your head, lips finding his cheek, tasting the salt of his tears.

“You’re not losing me” you kissed the corner of his mouth, and he turned, catching you in a desperate kiss.

“Gimme another one,” he murmured, dragging his cock deeper with slow, relentless thrusts. “You’ve got more for me. I know you do.”

You whimpered, leg still hooked over his arm, the angle hitting that spot that had you seeing stars. “T-too much."

“I know,” he rasped, “But you can take it. Lemme give it to you.”

“Rafe—fuck—” you gasped, squirming in his arms, nails digging into the sheets as you writhed.

“That’s it,” he praised, hips grinding forward against your swollen, aching walls. “Look at you, so fucking wet, so f-fucking tight—begging for it even when you say you can’t take more.”

Your body was already clenching down, your noises dissolving into sobs. Rafe could feel it, your body giving in, could hear the desperation in your gasps, how you kept pushing into him chasing that last drop of control.

You sobbed, thighs quivering uncontrollably. “Rafe—fuck—I’m coming—”

Your whole body snapped tight, stealing your words. You cried out, body locked tight as your seconds orgasm tore through you without any proper warning.

Rafe didn’t slow down. You didn't have time to recover before his hand was sliding down again, his mouth hot on your neck.

If he kept that shit up, he was gonna fuck you into your next life.

“One more,” he whispered, “Please—give me one more. Wanna feel you fall apart on my cock again.”

You gasped, overstimulated but burning for it anyway. Your pussy gushed around him, your body was already saying yes, even if your mind couldn’t form the words. He moved, pulling your hips back, laying you flat on your stomach now as he climbed over you, bracketing your body with his. His cock pushed back into you, still so hard.

“I’ll make it good,” he promised, “Lemme make it good for you.”

You sobbed into the mattress, tears slipping down your nose and onto the cotton as your body trembled beneath him, overwhelmed and woozy, but your hips rolled to meet him anyway—because fuck, you needed him.

He was shaking too — from the effort, from the need — but his focus was singular. Your pleasure.

Rafe slowed only to press a kiss to your shoulder.

“Just one more, pretty girl.”

You whimpered, body too sensitive to move but too addicted to stop, back bowed to take him deeper.

“I can’t,” you drew in a sharp breath. “Baby, I can’t—”

“Yeahhh, you can.” His hand slid beneath your hips again, guiding your body where he wanted it — needed it. “Know you can. You’re fuckin’ made for this. F'me.”

He rolled his hips slow, hitting where you needed him to with surgical precision. He did it again, and again — each thrust dragging a pitful cries from you.

“S'fuckin' sweet, even when I don’t deserve it.”

Your walls fluttered around him, and Rafe whined like it killed him

“Right there,” he muttered like a man possessed. “Yeah, fuck, there she is.” He pressed yet another peck to your back, “Feel that, baby? T-that’s me. That’s allll me.”

You were moaning higher, it was so much —him inside you, the sound of his voice by your ear, coaxing you, commanding you—

He breathed a sinful: “C’mon, baby. Let go f’me.”

You shook your head, but your body betrayed you.

“You’re fuckin’ soaked,” he rasped, “So wet, even now—fuck. I feel it. I f-feel you.”

His rhythm never broke — grinding thrusts, pulsing inside you, fingers stroking your clit with maddening perfection. You sobbed, already floating away, face pressed into the mattress.

“Don’t fight it,” he said. “Lemme fuckin’ feel it.”

“Rafe—oh my god—babyyy—”

“That’s it,” he growled.

Your body arched off the bed, hands clawing around the sheets, vision going white as your third orgasm ripped through you like lightning. You screamed his name, sobbing, pulsing, dripping, shaking from the force of it.

“Fuuuck—” Rafe gasped, gripping your hips like he’d fall apart without them. “That’s my girl. That’s my fucking girl. You’re gonna make me—fuck, not gonna last.”

He tried to pull out, give you a second to breathe, be a gentleman — but the moment his cock started to slide free, your body clenched one more time around him while you let out a desperate sound that made him bite his tongue.

“Shit—don’t do that,” He hissed, “You want it that bad?”

You nodded weakly, unable to spit out words, but your body said everything —still hungry for him even after everything he’d given you.

“Shittt,” he cursed, and then he lost it.

Rafe grabbed onto you like you weighed nothing, driving back with a brutal thrust, and another, frantic, his control unraveling completely. His chest was plastered to your back, his teeth pulling at your skin, and the filthy sounds filled the room— skin slapping, breath hitching, your name falling from his lips.

He choked out: “So fuckin’ tight, baby, I can’t—oh my god—fuck.”

You felt it before he said it — his whole body locked up, pushing so deep you swore you could feel him in your stomach.

He cried out — long and wrecked — as he spilled inside you, thick ropes of cum flooding you, until it leaked down your thights, so much. His whole body shuddered with it, one arm squeezing the shit out of you, the other fisting the sheets.

“Mine,” he breathed into your skin, voice trembling, “You’re mine. Mine, mine, mine.”

Each word came with a desperate thrust, the final one hitting so deep it knocked the breath from your lungs, your body locking down around him, trying to keep him there forever.

Rafe stayed there, panting, breath coming in broken bursts as the aftershocks ran through him. His heart was hammering against your back, his grip softening but not letting go. You could feel his cum dripping out around where he was still plugged inside.

He mouthed at your shoulder, less feral than before, coming down from his high, but not ready to let you go.

“Baby,” he rasped, “I didn’t mean to—did I hurt you?”

Your lashes fluttered, you couldn’t speak yet, instead you held his hand where it wrapped under your stomach and slid your fingers between his.

“You okay?” he brushed your sweaty curls off your neck, voice worn from how he’d been growling your name into the air minutes ago. “Still with me?”

You turned your head to catch his blue eyes —swollen lips parted. “It was perfect.”

“Yeah?”

You nodded weakly, but even that small movement sent a pulse of overstimulation through your core. Rafe shifted inside you, and a helpless sound slipped from your lips.

“Fuck—sorry. I know, baby, I know.”

You hummed, with no strength to move —and honestly, you didn’t want to.

“You’re still squeezin’ me,” He muttered in disbelief. “God, you feel so good—don’t wanna leave you yet.”

He rolled over slowly, pulling you with him so you were sprawled across his chest, the sticky heat still between your thighs as he slipped out of you, groaning at the overstimulation.

“Shh, I got you. I got you,” He was already pulling the blanket up to cover your bare body, brow furrowed in that serious way he only got when he was taking care of you.

One of his hands trailed up your back, the other rested low, thumb lazily brushing where his cum was starting to leak out. He looked down, eyes fixed on that mess he made, and something satisfied curled in his expression.

You, all of you— rich dark skin glowing with sweat and cum, curls wild against the pillow, beautiful lips swollen from his kiss — made him curse under his breath. You hid your face in his chest, groaning, but Rafe laughed, still breathless.

His hand came up to your face, tilting it so you’d look at him. That sweet, almost boyish look flickered over the lust now — the Rafe that wanted to be loved back.

“I don’t deserve you."

You shook your head, turning to kiss him, coaxing him back into calm. He swallowed hard, a shaky hum escaping him while he held your face in both hands like you were something he had to earn.

Precious. “Still mine?”

You nodded, exhausted, ruined, filled. “Still yours.”

From outside the door, a very familiar voice cracked through the silence — unapologetic, and directed at the two of you.

“Shit,” you both hissed at the same time.

“I KNEW Y’ALL WERE GONNA DO THIS IN MY ROOM!” JJ’s voice rang through the house again. “You couldn’t wait—two seconds? Goddamn, y’all had a whole audience before you started ripping each other’s clothes off!”

You groaned into Rafe’s chest, laughing, half-mortified.

“I’m gonna die.”

Rafe didn’t pretend to be sorry.

He dragged the blanket higher, wrapped his arms tighter around you, and muttered into your hair, “Should’ve kept his mouth shut earlier.”

“Y’all traumatized everyone,” JJ hollered again.

You were shaking from trying not to laugh, face hidden against Rafe’s chest, while he rolled his eyes toward the ceiling.

“It's his fault. If he didn’t start shit, I wouldn’t’ve had to fuck you like that.”

“YOU’RE STILL IN THERE TALKING!” JJ screeched. “What the fuck are y’all doing, cuddling?!”

Rafe shouted back lazily, “Cuddling the fuck out of her, bro.”

“IN MY BED?!”

“Shouldn’t’ve run your mouth.”

“I’M BURNING THE SHEETS, MAN!” echoed down the hall.

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mayanneaa · 5 months ago

Text

hits different - ᴊᴊ ᴍᴀʏʙᴀɴᴋ.

PAIRING : jj maybank x ex!reader

SUMMARY : jj broke up with you two months ago, but this one party makes him truly realize what he’s done.

WARNING(S) : swearing, jealous and super drunk jj, a little angst, fluff, minimal use of y/n (like once), might have some grammar errors, english is not my first language

A/N : first fic on here heheh obv inspired by 'hits different' by taylor swift. i recommend listening to it while reading :) dividers by @roseraris !! not proofread dont kill me

WC : 1.7k

masterlist.

After a fourth beer, the party got too loud and the lights too bright. Normally, in a moment like this, he would run to you, wrap his arms around you, and inhale your sweet, calming scent. Just as he’s about to do it, the realization hits him like one of the waves nearby.

You aren’t together anymore.

He sharply inhales and looks around. His vision is softly spinning, but it’s no problem for him. JJ spots you in a second. With another boy.

You two are just talking. You don’t even know this guy, he came up to you to ask about something so random it got lost in your chat long ago. You give him one of those kind smiles, and JJ feels his fists clench. “Fuck.”

The music changes. As if he wasn’t already miserable, the speakers let out the first notes of your song. The one he first kissed you to. The one you two always played, alone at the chateau dancing on the back porch.

The memories flood his mind, and he can’t take it anymore. Jj feels his heartbeat loud in his ears, and he wants to leave. To go to any of the pogues, or, even better, drive away in the Twinkie. But his eyes cannot move from your face, and his legs just don’t work.

It baffles him. Not once in his life, he couldn’t move on. But this time, with you, it's different. It hits different.

You finally catch him. The guy is still talking to you, but your attention is on the other side of the beach. Before you can interrupt, you see John B. coming up to JJ. He tells him something, grabs his arm, and leads his best friend somewhere. You feel your heart sink. “Are you okay?” you hear the guy ask, making you turn your head.

“I’m so sorry, I have to go,” you quickly say, leaving him alone. You have to find JJ.

“Dude, stop this shit right now,” John B.’s holding the steering wheel, making his way to the Chateau. JJ's taken the passenger seat, shoulders slumped, and he runs his hand through the blonde strands.

"Yeah, easy for you to talk." he snarls, "You and Sarah are all happy together, you don't know how it's like-"

"I don't know because I don't just randomly break up with my girl over a bad day I had." John B. cuts him off and lets out a deep sigh. "JJ, you should talk to her. Everyone's done. You are constantly miserable."

JJ doesn't say anything. The words hit him like a slap, unnecessarily hurtful. Outside the window he sees the familiar place - they are at the Chateau.

"Get some rest, okay?" John B opens the door and helps JJ get in the house. "Call me in case something happens."

The blonde nods his head and plops on the couch, legs stretched out. Minutes pass, and he finds himself whispering your name, over and over again, as if he's scared he'll forget it.

His mind still replays that cold May night.

You two agreed to meet at the dock. The wind softly overflowed your face as you were waiting for him. When he finally came, you felt something was wrong. His usual smile was gone, and he didn't even look at you. You hugged yourself in your hoodie, "JJ? Is everything alright?"

He let out a shaky breath, leaning over the railings. "I think we should break up."

You blinked in surprise, your heart feeling heavy. "What?"

Your voice sounded smaller than you intended. You reached out for his hand, your own shaking.

"It will be better for both of us." JJ dismissively said, swallowing hard. A shiver ran down his body, and his throat tightened, but he brushed it off.

You felt so much hitting you. Tears burned under your eyelids, and anger started to bubble up. Did you do something? Or maybe he just decided you weren't good enough for him anymore?

"No," you whispered at first, but your voice was growing louder, "You don't get to just... just decide on my behalf!"

The moonlight fell on his face, and you tried to find any answers in his eyes. He stiffened, shaking his head before he repeated, "It will be better if we end it now."

You opened your mouth, but not a word came out. The tears threatening to fall finally flooded your face, a quiet scoff escaping your lips. "I can't believe this. This is how much it meant for you?"

You were met with silence. The atmosphere on the dock could be cut with a knife, and you couldn't just stand here. Before you registered it, your legs led you down, far from your boy- well... ex-boyfriend. JJ's eyes followed your every step. He wanted to run after you, to wrap you in his arms and never let you go. But he didn't.

It wasn't just a one-day whim he had. It stuck with him ever since you two decided to make it official. It grew with every late night you spent not on something you like, but on cleaning him up after another fight. You didn’t say anything—but he knew. He knew that sooner or later, it will be too much. He will be too much to handle.

The sweetest girl walking on the earth, a literal angel and him. A failure, a Pogue whose fate it was to end up just like his father—always drunk, always angry.

His heart ached at this thought. You had so many opportunities, and if you decided to let it go because of him, he would never forgive himself.

Breaking up before he got even more attached was for the better. It had to be. Right?

JJ doesn’t know how long he’s been lying like this. His breathing is now steady and slow, and he has to remind himself to breath in again.

He closes his eyes, but can’t escape you. The memories come fast—not giving him much time for defense.

Your face. Always in the sun, glowing as if you were a goddess. The lips glossed from the cherries you’ve been eating. Your eyes, the creases forming in the corners almost constantly from smiling.

Your touch. All these quick brushes, the way you traced your soft fingertips over his forearm every time you sat nearby. The long, tight hugs during which JJ’s hands wrapped your waist, him hungrily inhaling your perfume.

His breath hitches. Is it truly the best this way?

Before he can answer, the quiet crack of a key opens the door. He darts up and immediately regrets it, as the whole room starts spinning.

“JJ?” he hears a soft whisper, and his heart skips a beat.

The warm lights of the Chateau reveal your face. He feels the heat rising to his cheeks, “What are you doing here?”

His voice is quiet, almost as if he’s scared you’ll disappear. You step closer, with a cautiousness that kills something inside him. He avoids your gaze, staring at the suddenly interesting floor.

“You’re not doing great, huh?” you say, but there’s no mockery or anger in your voice. There’s just… worry.

JJ turns around on his heels and sits down on couch, fearing that if he stands for a minute longer, he might just fall. He runs a hand through his hair, a habit that intensified over the two months.

“Stop it, Y/N.” he finally replies looking at you for the first time. The light reflects of his watery eyes, and his voice breaks when he continues, “Go back to the party and your new stupid little boyfriend.”

Your eyes widen. “Are you fussing over me talking to a guy after you broke up with me?”

JJ shakes his head, looking at the floor again, “Doesn’t matter. Not anymore, I guess. You really should go—”

“Why did you end this?”

The question feels like an arrow through his heart. You’re standing with your hands crossed, not planning on going anywhere. “Why, J? We were happy. Did I do something…?”

“It wasn’t you.” In the response, he hears a snort.

Your gaze is heavy, with your eyebrows arched up. “Classic. Then what was it, JJ?” The tone of your voice is pushing, and you don’t even try to control it, “What happened that you decided to just leave me?”

“I was scared!” he snaps before he can think of anything better to say. “How do you imagine it? You… you can’t suffer with me forever. It’ll break you one day and—”

“JJ.”

The way you say his name pulls him out of the spiral. It slips off your tongue smoothly, just like it used to. You grip his arm, and JJ forgets what he was even talking about.

“You don’t get to make this decision without talking to me. Did you ever asked me how I feel about this?”

A blush creeps up on his cheeks, and whether you want it or not, the corners of your lips rise.

He tries to make any sense, the tears dangerously close to falling. “I mean— You deserve someone better. Someone who will keep you safe and… I’m not that person. And I don’t think I’ll ever be.”

You sigh. “Maybe. But I don’t want anyone better, baby. I want you. That’s my decision.”

With these words, with what you called him, his walls crash. You pull him closer, your bodies touching and he can’t take it anymore. JJ lets out a muffled sob into the crook of your neck, gripping you like he’s never letting you go.

Your fingers find their way up to his hair, running through the golden strands as he’s shaking.

“I’m sorry.” he whispers, his voice barely audible. “I’m so sorry. So sorry—”

“Shhh,” You draw small circles on his back, and his breath slows down after some time. “We will talk about it tomorrow, ’kay? You’re super drunk right now.”

“Promise you won’t leave.” JJ sniffles, the tip of his nose pink. You giggle, but he pulls away to look at you, a serious expression on his face. “I’m not joking! Promise me you’ll still be here in the morning. Please.”

You gently squeeze his shaking hand and can’t help but smile. “I promise.”

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