#when people work hard to truly express whats being said rather than only show whats being said- i appreciate it 🫰

[jessiesjaded]

It is funny sometimes seeing people get uppity about translators not doing exactly 1:1 translations of media, whether it be a book or a game or a series- and I get it from the perspective of say, 90s and 2000s anime adaptations that completely altered plot points, completely nixed entire lines of dialogue or alter characters enough that they were barely reminiscent of the original- think Sailor Moon and how the US dub censored anything gay in it. Those complaints I understand, completely.

And then with the advent of translating tools sometimes a company has pretty clearly been cheap or lazy and has just slapped it into an online translator and hodge podged it together, losing a lot of important details along the way, just to save on paying a proper translator and that is something I find absolutely shitty and extremely fair to point out- especially when it's a big corporation.

But the flipside people seem to forget is that sometimes there's not an exact word to translate to. Sometimes translations done to T will lose the humour or the feeling of the original so the translator will change it just enough to still get the expression across in a similar way as the original without bogging it down or losing its charm- localising something isn't always a bad thing as long as it overall stays true to the original. Translation is an art at the end of the day, sometimes whats on the page needs a little extra help to really pop, I have a lot of respect for the people who put in the effort.

[lady-griffin]

#ArcaneSeason01 | When and how did Jinx develop fishbones?

Thank you for your ask Anon!

I’m sorry it took me years to finally answer it, but at least I’m answering it the day S2 airs, so that’s something, right?

Also, I worked on this before S2 aired (before I watched it), so if something turns out to be wrong - oh well, I did my best. Again, sorry for the super late response.

Fishbones – The Idea and the When

This might surprise a lot of people since many see Fishbones as something Jinx specifically made for Silco, but the show’s details make it clear Jinx had the idea for Fishbones before she ever met Silco.

The main evidence being one of Powder’s drawings -

The bottom drawing depicts the very basic concept of Fishbones - a shark shooting a fiery blast out of its mouth with a bullet above it.

Fishbones is clearly a power fantasy of Powder’s, which makes sense. Violence was beyond the norm for her growing up and unlike Vi, physical hand to hand combat was not something she excelled at.

Now, her having this fantasy or dream weapon doesn’t make Powder some evil child who was always going to be violent, she was a kid growing up in a violent world, who wanted to be useful, so it makes perfect sense she wanted to have (make) this “ultimate gun” – especially since shooting was something she truly excelled at.

I would also argue, she has more of a desire to create weapons that are uniquely hers, rather than just weapons to hurt people. Because despite all her insecurities she’s always been confident in her own artistic and general self-expression.

Powder obviously admired her sister and wanted to be like Vi, but she never tried to be Vi. She pursued things she was interested in and even what she was good at, rather than abandon all of it to be more like Vi.

In many ways, whether as Powder or Jinx, she's always remained true to herself.

Her weapons, particularly Fishbones are arguably proof of that. As, the same drawing (or a near identical one) is hanging up in Jinx’s lab in ep. 4.

Indicating Fishbones is still something she wants to make, despite how much she's changed and is different from her younger self.

Bonus Material -

Additionally, we have a promotional image of what comes with The Collector’s Edition of Arcane, giving us a clearer picture of said initial drawing of Fishbones.

As well as the blueprint three of Jinx's weapons (including Fishbones) and her other drawings.

Her blueprints are interesting to me, because they’re this mix of childishness and sophistication.

There’s a lot of “maturity” in how the actual drawings are clean, concise, and well-made. They don’t have Jinx’s usual scribbling style or aesthetic, which is evidence of something I’ve always believed about Jinx – her art style is simply just that, her style of choice.

Mostly importantly these are blueprints; meaning Fishbones is no longer just the abstract idea of a shark with a fiery blast, but now an actual idea of a possible weapon to be used.

Now in general it’s hard to tell what specific age Jinx drew something because of her scribbly style, but I’m leaning towards her being on the younger side for these.

Though it's more than possible she made the blueprint of Fishbones after Silco took her in.

Nonetheless, Fishbones has been an idea of Jinx’s long before Silco entered her life - meaning he wasn't the sole for reason why she built Fishbones.

Fishbones - The Design (Inspiration and Reason)

Now, I do agree with the common consensus that Fishbones was made with Silco in mind, specifically his love for sea monsters – BUT he’s not the only one with a love for monsters.

If we pay attention to the details, it's obvious, Powder had an affinity for monsters as well, even a fondness for sharks specifically. 

Which is just the cutest thing ever.

Can you imagine how happy Silco was when he learned his newly adopted daughter loved sharks and other monstrous creatures?

I know that has nothing to do with your question, but I just can’t get over that. Seriously, imagining that scene is just way too cute.

Evidence of Powder’s Affinity Towards Monsters

Ep. 1 - Shark plushie

In ep. 1, we see a shark plushie right before Vi goes to comfort Powder. Now, either Powder made this plushie herself or it was made for her, but either way it’s obviously Powder’s.

It also looks very similar to the rocket she shot from Fishbones – the grin especially.

Act I - Powder’s grenades

Throughout Act 1 we see several of Powder's grenades and also hear her talk about them. Note how she designed them, she didn’t simply draw a cute little poro or dragon on them, she actually designed them to be little creatures themselves.

She goes even further, by giving them names and pronouns; which to me, shows how many of her weapons are meant to be their own little creatures, not just weapons.  

Fishbones is a great example of what I’m talking about – because he’s not a bazooka with a shark drawn on him, he’s an actual SHARK bazooka.

Plus, I’m using he/him pronouns instead of calling Fishbones an it, because of the intentional “life” and personality Jinx has imbued into this weapon, and also from how she interacts with him in other League media.  

Ep. 6 - Powder drawing monsters

Vi has a hallucination/memory of Powder drawing the monsters they made up to outdo one another, so even though Vi said she went too far at times and Powder got scared, clearly Powder loved their game.

Which, by the sounds of it, was solely made up with the purpose of keeping Powder happy and entertained.

Ep. 7 and Enemy (mv) - Powder's battle helmet

With its eyes and teeth, clearly her helmet is another one of her monsters. And again, we don't simply see a cute figure simply drawn on the helmet, instead what Powder did here, like with her grenades, is turn her helmet into its own little monster.

Another couple of tiny details

In ep. 1 - Powder picks up something from the trash when Claggor and Vander are leaving the Last Drop and it looks very similar to the teeth of her future chomper grenades.

Even if they're not the same - Powder she clearly saw something that resembled sharp teeth and kept it.

There’s also her clapping monkey toy and while that's not a monster, it’s still a pretty creepy toy.

In the S2 trailer - Shark hoodie.

I know I said I was only focusing on S1, but I couldn't not talk about her hoodie, because she's wearing a shark hoodie!

It’s interesting - because some say this is her fully embracing Silco and his legacy while others claim this her returning to being Powder once again, as she's wearing something similar to what she wore when she played with Ekko – with the markings on her cheeks and everything.

I think it’s 100% both of those things, while also just Jinx being Jinx – someone who has always loved monsters and sharks.

-

Now I genuinely believe Fishbones was a gift for Silco; it’s just that Fishbones was always going to be Jinx's weapon. If anything, Jinx made Fishbones for Silco AND herself - something for the two of them to share.

Because if Silco had lived and they had attacked Piltover together, Jinx would’ve still been the one firing Fishbones, Silco would’ve been standing right there next to her of course, but Fishbones was always going to be her weapon.

Fishbones - The Physical and Literal When

My theory is that Jinx has tried to make Fishbones over the years and was finally only able to complete him (in a few days), once she figured out hextech (Acts II & III.)

The main Fishbones drawing I've been talking about proves he wasn’t thought of and then made and finished in a few days, rather he’s been in the works for a while.

I also think the scene in which we see the drawing is some great foreshadowing.

The unrefined hextech crystals landing top of the drawings of Fishbones and her family, right after her breakdown (ep. 3).

Fishbones may have only been an idea at the time and maybe that's all he could've ever been, but once the crystals were refined into gemstones, there became a way for Jinx to bring her vision to life.

I could also argue, that without the tragedy of losing her family and Silco taking her in - Fishbones may have never existed.

Even with Powder's fantasy of Fishbones and her being more than ready to use her grenades, she's never actually hurt anyone before, not as far as we know. It's possible if things stayed relatively the same, Powder would've ended up freaked out or scared of the reality of what her weapons can do.

Jinx on the other, being raised by Silco... not so much.

-

I'm so glad I noticed all these monster and shark details, because initially my timeline for Fishbones was that Jinx came up with the idea for him and executed said idea in less than a week.

While Jinx is beyond impressive, when would she have time to do that?

Seriously, even if Jinx didn't get any sleep (more than likely) there are only so many hours in a day and she was doing a million other things.

But with this new (very loose) timeline, well everything makes a whole lot more sense.

It's still beyond amazing Jinx made and finished Fishbones in the time frame she did – but it’s more doable (for her), especially since Jinx has shown to be able to accomplish a whole lot when she’s under a time crunch.

But like I've said, I believe Jinx has been working on Fishbones for years now and I’m guessing she couldn’t make her specific vision of him into a reality because she didn’t have a strong enough power source; so, he was put on hold.

But once she cracked the gemstone/hextech – it was “simply” a matter of redesigning Fishbone’s design to be a hextech devise.

Basically, I think Jinx was able to finish Fishbones by the finale, because she salvaged her previous protypes of him for parts

None of this is easy or simple by the way. Fishbones truly shows how much of a genius Jinx is. Seriously, consider the fact that at the end of S1 the three experts on hextech and known inventors of its devises are Jinx and the two literal creators and founders of Hextech.

That's amazing.

Jinx taught herself hextech by using the notes and research she stole from them, which is beyond insane and I feel like so many undercut how truly impressive that actually is.

In addition, Fishbones' existence shows us how inventive, adaptive, and weirdly enough practical Jinx is.

The last one may seem odd, but remember Silco told her she needed to crack hextech sooner than later, so, working with a design she's been struggling with for years and adapting said design to be a hextech one; rather than just starting from scratch is really practical of her.

And Jinx did all of this while remaining true to herself and her aesthetic, because she's all about that self-expression and creativity.

Jinx wouldn’t/couldn’t design just any weapon for Silco, especially not for his war against Piltover, none of those weapons would've been good enough for him or for her.

The weapon she made to help Silco finally turn the tables on Piltover, would've had to be something significant and meaningful to them both, because this is important to them.

So, even though Silco never saw Fishbones, I know he would’ve absolutely appreciated and loved him.

Fishbones was made to be something the two could share in a way; if anything, he’s a symbol of their bond as well as all the things they have in common, in particular their shared love and admiration for monstrous creatures.

And I absolutely love that so goddamn much, because in a way Fishbones shows Silco and Jinx were “always meant” to be father and daughter.

Who else would’ve truly appreciated her giant shark bazooka?

Who else would’ve found Silco's sea monsters to be just as beautiful and awe inspiring as he did?

Summary

Fishbones was an idea of Jinx’s long before she ever met Silco and what started out as power fantasy of a young powerless girl, became not only a reality, but her ultimate show of power (at least for S1).

Fishbones was made for Silco’s sake though, Jinx was going to present him to Silco as the weapon to turn the tables on Piltover.

He's a shark because of Silco's love for sea monsters AND because of Jinx's own love and fondness for monsters (+ sharks).

Fishbones also, at least I think so, shows their bond as father and daughter over the years.  

In regards to when Jinx made Fishbones, I think since Silco took her in, she's likely tried to make him a few times, but he's never worked – likely because she didn't have a strong enough power source.

But once she figured out hextech, she was able to implement the tech into her redesign, and by using her other skills and knowhow, Jinx was able to create the perfect weapon for herself.

[lamnwar]

Ok I have another req! Could I request a fem reader x taiga who's used to guys only expressing interest in her body and sexuality and sexualising her so when taiga doesn't do that it makes her think that he isn't into her? Angst and miscommunication and misunderstandings but it gets resolved in the end!

Hiiii bby 💕 so so sorry I took so long to work on your request, it took me longer than expected bc the premise kinda hit too close to home and I had a hard time seperating my personal feelings from what I was writing 😭 here it is and I hope you enjoy it! I was very happy to write on Kagami for you again <333

Doubts // Kagami Taiga x Fem! Reader

Context: you're so used to boys sexualizing you that when a certain Kagami Taiga enters your life, you don't know what to expect from him anymore. Characters are aged up (18+) for plot context.

Warnings: college!au, angsty, reader is insecure, trust issues, implicit mentions of sex but nothing detailed so still sfw, Kagami being a bit oblivious, reader and Kagami have a little misunderstanding but it's resolved at the end <3 fluff towards the end bc I'm a romantic at the core 🥰

The sun hits your face as you get out of the lecture hall, the sweet scent of spring reaching you and giving you a false sense of rest. It doesn’t last long; the other students follow behind you, and soon enough you are stuck in a crowd that wander aimlessly, following the flow when really you should be walking the opposite direction. It’s noon, you should be going home to a miserable sandwich, take a quick nap and wake up wondering if you truly want to show up to the next lecture or just do nothing for the rest of the day.

A voice calls for you, and you turn around, tired eyes opening up slightly when you recognize the silhouette coming towards you. Taiga runs to you, big body forcing everyone to get out of his way so he can reach you. And he does, Taiga with his honest smile, and his old backpack nonchalantly hanging on his broad shoulders. You smile, though your body tenses up.

“Wanna have lunch with me?” he asks.

You are tempted to decline the invitation, like every time he comes to you. It’s more a reflex than what your heart truly wants, and you are fully aware of it. So in confusion, you urge yourself to give an answer:

“Was heading home to eat, actually” you say, hoping that he’ll let you go.

But he doesn’t because Kagami Taiga never does. It irritates you in some ways, probably because you can’t make sense of it. He’s not the kind to hang out with you now, is he?

Kagami Taiga has always been the “out of your reach” kind of person.  A handsome guy that walks the campus by turning all heads, yet he appears somewhat oblivious – or maybe he’s grown accustomed to the looks he gets at everything he goes. He’s the one people invite to their parties although they barely know him, and the one girls wish they could date one day. He’s all that, with his cool aura, a constant frown on his face that make him look more intimidating than he really is, and his reputation as the best basketball player the university has ever had.

So, considering all that, maybe it makes sense that you’re suspicious when he’s suddenly taken a liking to you. It cannot be without intentions, and you suspect that they aren’t pure. It’s just something you know. Men always disappoint you.

Your friends tell you that you are dramatic for making such statement, and you’ve wondered for a long while if you’re just not too pessimistic. At the end of the day, men are humans too, aren’t they? What is the point of assuming that they’re not capable of love, or rather, of loving you? You’ve struggled on multiple sleepless nights, grieving the false hopes you’ve built for yourself – just because a guy said the right words, and hold you the right ways, and made your heart pound at the right pace. It’s always started like a dream, too good to be true, you’d repeat to yourself. Because it never took long for your prince to turn into a frog, dropping you the moment he no longer found pleasure in your body. And the circle would start again, with a new guy, and new words, new feelings, till he nonchalantly confessed how you were nothing more than a piece of meat to him. Always a “hump and dump”, so are you wrong, to be suspicious of all men?

“You know, I wanna cook for you one day” Taiga’s voice resonates as you keep walking out of the campus to reach your place.

“Why would you want to cook for me, anyway?”

It’s a genuine question – something like that can hold so many meanings, so you wonder what it could signify for him. You have your own meaning of it: you’ll only cook for the one you love. A gesture of love, exclusive, and that you believe you’ll never get to make, considering how things are going for yourself.

“I’m a fucking good chef, for one, and it’d make me happy to see you eat my food” he replies with his usual straightforwardness.

The romantic undertones of his answer do not go unnoticed and your heart pounds in your chest, despite all your efforts of keeping it down. Every one of his words, every one of his actions, takes you back to the days when you were just a teenager having crushes and dreaming of the kind of romance that you’ve got to learn doesn’t exist in reality.

“Well… we’ll see about that” you reply, not wanting to reject him as the tiny glimpse of hope that he is genuine guides your actions.

He smiles, striking you right in your most sensitive spot – it’s hard not to smile back, but you’d be a fool to do so. He’s no different from the others, you repeat to yourself. Yet, here you are, walking in the soft sun of spring and honestly enjoying his presence. He doesn’t have to do much or say much, his aura somewhat soothing to you. You feel like you’re falling for a spell, aware of it but still uncapable of resisting it. You sigh, looking at the time on your phone as you rack your brain for a way out of here. It’s not quite that you want to leave Taiga, but more that you need to. You fear what will happen if you extend these simple moments with him, if you let your guards down and don’t think twice as the space between you gets smaller, and smaller.

So, you need to flee the situation. For your own sake, for your own heart. It hurts you to leave him, but you’re convinced there’s truly a greater purpose to you digging the distance between the basketball player and you. But you fail, and you really can’t bring yourself from stopping him from walking you home. For a second there, you look up at the sky like it holds these answers you’re seeking for.

It’s insane, how your heart beats at the simple thought of Taiga. His warm smile, the way his hand lingers on your waist when you walk together in crowds, his voice when he calls your name – all so confusing, yet so consuming. And then you stop and think back to all those who were there before him. Those who praised your body at night and ignored your soul in the daylight. Those who charmed you with smiles and words, making you feel at the top of the world for a second, and made you realized that you worthed no more than dust the next second. It’s always promises of stars in your eyes, till it turns out to be nothing but dreams. It’s destructive, this circle you’ve got yourself into inadvertently. And you hate yourself for letting it get the best of you. You hate yourself for letting it install all these doubts in your mind. Maybe you’re too cautious, maybe you’re running away from a true opportunity; there’s just no way of knowing for sure. It’s simply that you’re brought to lose all trust in men, and despite the warmth Taiga brings you, he can’t be an exception.

He can’t be right? It doesn’t matter how he makes you feel, he’ll hurt you, too… won’t he?

But under the soft rays of the sun, he’s no more than a human that you love. You may inch away from him at each step, but he doesn’t give up. And you wait in frustration that he shows himself to be no better than others. The moment he’ll touch you with clear intentions of consuming your body, or that he’ll outright tell how you’re nothing more than an attractive body. He’s yet to say or do anything of that sort – does he even like you, in any way? Taiga has always kept a fair amount of distance, despite never leaving your circle. He stays in proximity, yet never comes to close, and you keep waiting for the moment he’ll reach and turn your fear into reality. You always wonder why he doesn’t do like the others, when he’s had countless of occasions to act. He’s never once let his fingers linger longer than needed on your waist, he’s never once looked at you with lustful eyes, he’s never once made a suggestive comment. But he doesn’t go away either, and here you are, confused and struggling.

“You never give me straightforward answers when you I invite you to stuff” he lets out.

You slow down, struggling to hide your reaction upon the realization that he’s somewhat noticed that habit of yours. Granted, you’re probably not as sly as you think you are. After months of him suggesting things that you may do together, and you answering in the most elusive way possible, maybe it shouldn’t be such a surprise that he’s noticed that pattern of yours.

“I really don’t, do I?” you try to laugh yourself out of the spotlight.

Yet, you fail. He’s caught you, and you still have to figure out how much has he picked up on.

“Well, you know me” he stops mid-sentence to stretch his arms.

You don’t say anything. Do you truly know him, you wonder. He seems to think so, but at the same time, it might just be a ruse. For all you know, you can’t never truly know someone. You don’t see how he’ll be any different.

“Just say it, if I piss you off” he reprises, “I’ve never been good at reading minds.”

“You don’t annoy me” you reply immediately, before you can even think of an answer.

It’s like something has taken over you, a part of you you’d usually repress for you believe it’s incapable of making sensible choices. You sigh, as a silence settles between both your bodies. Only the chirping of the birds and the sounds of cars passing by interrupt the quiet. It’s not comfortable at all. If anything, there’s a lot left unsaid. After each step, each breath, each side glance at each other, you feel the tension build up.

“Hey, d’you even like me?”

Taiga’s voice sounds up, snapping the tension in a sharp move. You’re defenceless, but somehow fishing for a semblance of barricade to build up.

“You can’t ask that kind of silly questions…”

“You can’t keep being avoidant like that.”

“Fuck.”

He’s really got you cornered. For some reason, the more it goes, the more you feel yourself crumbling. You feel like crying, yet tears don’t fall. You just have the feeling that at any point, you’ll just falter and break in tiny pieces in front of him.

“Yeah… you know what? I better stop right now. I sound like a fucking looser trynna pass for a nice guy. Sorry for being a bitch about my own doubts. They have nothing to do with you.”

You furrow your brows, stopping in your walk as you register his words.

“Are they real?” you ask.

“Huh?”

“Your doubts… are they real? Or are you just saying that to make me feel something?”

He ogles at you, seemingly shocked by your words.

“The fuck you’re saying? I just feel like I like you more than you do, that’s just it.”

“Yeah, but do you really like me, Taiga?”

You sniff, your deepest thoughts cracking through your barricade.

“Yes I do! I thought I was being obvious enough” he replies, eyebrows raised in incredulousness.

“Pardon me, but it’s hard to believe so” you reply, not daring to confront his gaze. “Guys like you…”

You stop before finishing your sentence. It hurts you to say these words to someone that you love despite everything. And you feel stupid enough for loving him, like you haven’t learned your lesson yet. You shouldn’t let him in, he’ll use you and leave you, like they all do.

“Hey…” Taiga’s is voice is soft in your ears, comforting, exactly what you need at this instant which makes you even more cautious of him.

“Leave it, Taiga. You don’t have to comfort me” you say as you take a step back. “You don’t have to be nice to me at all, actually. It’s pointless, because…”

You take a breath, wondering why it’s so hard to speak, yet as soon as you open your mouth, it feels like an unstoppable flow of words. Just all your deepest insecurities coming to the surface and embracing you in their vile hands, to the point where you are nothing but your fear of being used by someone you love.

“The moment you’ll realize you can’t get what you want of me, you’ll leave, anyways. They always do, guys like you.”

For a moment, neither of you speak. You can’t say more for your part, and as for him, he doesn’t know what to say. It’s rather conflicting; should he defend himself, or take you in his arms? Or should he, simply, walk away if the sight of him hurts you so much? Despite everything, he finds himself unable to move anywhere further from you. It’s like some force drives him to stay by you, even if you might hate him.

“I’m sorry” he finally says.

If you dare look at his eyes, you might be surprised by the sight. The flame that usually shines so bright in his eyes is almost inexistent, replaced by the wavering glimmer of humid eyes. Your overly cautious self isn’t quite sure what these words mean. It could be an admission of guilt, and that prospect shatters your heart in countless little pieces.

“What for?” you risk yourself asking.

“For not showing you properly how I feel about you. Have I been more straightforward… you’d probably think of me differently. You wouldn’t have to love me back, either way, but I’d have the comfort of knowing that you knew that I was genuine” he answers, hands digging in his pockets. “And I’m sorry I can’t prove myself to be better than the assholes who’ve treated you like shit before. Just say the word, and I’ll go. Or say nothing, there’s meaning to that, too.”

He doesn’t say a single word after that, the sound of cars passing by crashing between your two silent bodies. You feel the tears well up in the corner of your eyes, almost spilling but being kept there, on the edge of your eyelids. The seconds pass by faster than you want them to while you are yet to say or do anything. The more time passes by, the more Taiga feels something break in him. He’s never been really good at relationships – he isn’t a reader of people, and up till recently, he’s never really taken the time to reflect on the way he feels. But things somewhat changed when he met you, the heat you brought to his heart being a novelty he’s been on a quest to understand. And then he figured that it must simply be love. Maybe he’s been expressing it wrong, maybe he should have been more observant, he would have caught on the signs that you’ve lost all trust in others.

It takes everything in him to take a step away from you. Kagami Taiga has never been the kind to give up. But he still fights against himself and move, digging the distance between you. And at the sight of his tall frame going away, your hand reaches forward by itself. You tug at his t-shirt, forcing him to turn around to look at you. Teary eyes stare at each other as your fingers don’t let go of the fabric of his t-shirt.

“Could you… could you hold me then? Just once, to show me that you truly like me.”

Your request surprises him. Everything till now has been convincing him that you need him the furthest away from you, yet, when he looks at your pleading eyes, he realises that this might just be his window. Before he truly has to let you go, he should hold you the way he’s always wanted to.

And he does, strong arms pushing you towards his chest where you hear the erratic beat of his heart. You cry, as his fingers pat your head with a gentleness that you’ve always been craving. You don’t want him to let you go, and by the way he holds you, he doesn’t either. That much is made clear to you, and here in Taiga’s embrace you figure for once that maybe, yeah maybe, someone can truly love you.

“I don’t like you, dummy. I love you” his voice sounds smoothly in your ears.

Truer words have never been spoken to you, and they go straight to your aching heart, somehow mending it back together.

“You do?”

“Yeah, and I’ll prove it to you every day till there’s not a single doubt left in your pretty head.”

[crescentblossom66]

The Dream turned Nightmare

The scorching sun of the blazing summer was up high, it's strong rays making the sand below impossible to touch without getting burned. The Dead Bird Desert was an unwelcoming place, always had been, yet there stood a single little cabin in the midst of the relentlessly arid wasteland. The wood of the cabin had seen better days,the paint peeling off, leaving the once strong planks that the small house had once been painstakingly created from in a bad shape. The wind blew through the holes of which the cabin had plenty of, creating an ominous howl. Neither the heat nor the howling ever disturbed its sole resident.

On the decrepit porch of the cabin sat a bird now long forgotten, one whose glory days were long over. The old bird reached for the, by now warm, bottle of whiskey that stood on the flimsy table next to the chair he sat on. He nearly missed the glass as he tried to pour himself a glass, cursing at the bottle that wasn't to blame for his inability to pour the liquid. Rather, it were his eyes that had recently gotten worse. It was vexing to believe that an owl would have trouble seeing something right in front of him, yet here he was. The same eyes that had keenly picked up on every mistake, every tiny error in his work or his subordinates, now failed him. The same could be said for his wings that were starting to shake whenever he had to pick up something even remotely heavy, the bottle just barely light enough for him to hold without his wing shaking as if he was suffering from a bad cold.

Getting old was something that happened to every being, so was dying. Neither concept was foreign to him, but sometimes he truly wished that the end would come sooner. He stared at the harsh and dry environment around him, trying to find something that could distract him from his own thoughts, thoughts that tormented his tired mind daily. He found nothing, it was much the same as every day, harsh, lonely and unbearable, words that many would agree fit him just as much as it does the wide desert he lived in. He briefly wondered what those same people were doing now. The Express Owls, now without any Owl Express to board,likely had to carpool to their workplaces, and were happier than ever that they wouldn't have to face an unexpected movie shoot along the way. In his mind he could hear them, cheering and smiling, just like they had been internally when he had announced his retirement. Those peck necks' eyes couldn't hide their happiness, even if their postures and beaks showed the opposite emotion, he had known that they weren't the slightest bit sad to see him go. Even his rival had looked more distraught when his own crew, despite the jumps of joy that his penguins did. Tears of sadness had been the last things that he had envisioned the DJ to shed at his final day, yet he had still been as spineless as ever, opening the door to his office with a present, only to stand there as he cleaned up his belongings. A brief looked to the floor and a small mumble, that his aging ears had failed to pick up properly, was all he had done to see him off for the final time. The present that had been in his flippers had been discarded in front of his door, with no sight of the DJ. The present contained a movie they had both seen as children as it had been popular, and was directed by none other than the bird that they both admired and influenced their career choice.

A choice, people always said that one can make many choices in life, a bunch of lies! He hadn't chosen what he now was, a forgotten relic of long bygone days that no one even cared about anymore! He hadn't chosen that his wife abandoned him! He hadn't chosen that his daughter only came to him when she needed money, and he certainly hadn't chosen that even his grandkids ignored him! He grit his beak, slamming his claw down in anger, on the table so hard that the glass spilled its contents. The other voice in him spoke up over his anger; YOU made the choices that resulted in those outcomes! There it was, the darkest thought that kept him awake at night and caused his heart to speed up to the point that even breathing was hard sometimes. Had he not worked as much as he had, maybe his wife wouldn't have left him. Had he been more present in his daughter's life, maybe she would see him as family and not just a bank account. Had he cared more about his grandkids, maybe they would have visited from time to time. Alas... no matter what he'd do, he couldn't turn back time to fix the blatant error. His career, the career that had started with a kid's dumb pipe-dream and ended in corruption and pain.

The old owl turned around, peeking past the door frame and into the room behind it, an array of movie posters adorned the walls of the cabin, giving some color to the otherwise plain room. All those years spend honing a craft and dedicating his whole life to it...only to realize way too late that his dream had turned into a nightmare. A nightmare he had trapped himself in, a nightmare that he had seen as a pleasant dream until he opened his eyes from what he averted them from for years.

He looked at the first poster that showed him on a horse with a lasso in hand, it was old and very worn, unlike the younger version of himself that stared back at him with a happy smile and a gleam that was noticeable even on the poster. It was a harsh contrast with the pristine and clean poster for his final movie. Not only did he look terrible due to the stress and him being older, but his expression had turned from one that was once happy to make movies, to one for which the movie was only a stepping stone to reach the greater goal, the golden trophy.

The first place golden trophies of the Annual Bird Movie Awards, the very same things that he had looked at with nothing but pride and joy during his long career, he now glared at with resentment and self-loathing. He had earned the title of one of the best directors that the planet had ever known...yet no one really cared for him. They praised him for the work he had done, praised the effects in his movies, praised the realism...but in the end of the day no one was there for him. His fans weren't there when he felt lonely in his own home. His fans weren't there when he felt like crying from the stress and responsibility that he had to bear. Someone once told him that if he kept pushing people away from him and treated them like dirt, he'd end up all alone. He had scoffed at those words, dismissed them as an empty threat, but their truth was haunting him now.

He could no longer even bear to look at himself in the mirror, the person that stared back at him disgusted him. The mirror was cracked now, a mere tap away from breaking and covering the bathroom in glass shards. It wasn't him, the broken and ancient looking owl wasn't him! No way did his bright feathers dull so much, he wasn't that skinny either, and no way did he look so messy! He refused to listen to the voice that once again spoke up to tell him that the old owl that stared back at him was indeed him.

The greatest director known to bird couldn't look this disheveled, right? The master of cinematography couldn't be so miserable, right?

The Conductor, the owl that had so many fans, wouldn't die alone, right?

[towersofprospit]

How about the Knight of Heart? As a treat. It's my classpect.

🌑 Of course!! Thanks for the ask. 🌑

Knight of Heart

Knight: Knights are a protector class, through and through. They use a mask of self-importance/“cool”ness to hide how much they care for others, and they’re happiest when their friends are happy.

Heart: Heart is the aspect of emotion, self-expression and the True Self. Because of this, they can be very different depending on class, but you can certainly never accuse a Heartbound of being shallow. They can have trouble separating their inner world and the real world, though.

Inverted Title: Rogue of Mind

Oh this is gonna be fun, knights are among my favourites. Very well then. A Knight of Heart is an interesting case. How does one hide behind identity? Simple enough, a KoH wants everyone to believe they know exactly who they are. And it works, too! From the outside, a Knight of Heart is impenetrable. They may not be the most well-liked person in the room, or the most talented, but it doesn’t matter, because they’re completely aware and sure of themselves, and that means nothing can shake them, be it a petty insult or a crisis.

Whether this is actually true depends on the particular knight and how far along they are in their development, but it will nonetheless be something they strive for. This Knight is also interesting because it would genuinely be hard to parse said development, since they were hiding behind their true self in the first place. Even if their mask consisted of Emotion rather than Self, or some other aspect of Heart, the end result would be the same. Long story short, a Knight of Heart would be Rose Lalonde’s worst nightmare.

We’ve talked at length about the inner workings of this Knight, now let us look at how they might interact with the world around them. Heart players seem to have an innate understanding of what makes up the core of people, their heart if you will, and Knight being the class of innate skill with their aspect, this ability would become a weapon in their hands. Just as with all knights though, this weapon is a double-edged sword, and a Knight that is too empathetic may let their understanding of people get in the way of treating them as they deserve, or in turn a more unempathetic Knight might come to see any person’s action that doesn’t match up with the version of them they perceive as a deception. Whoo, that was a sentence and a half.

I feel as though I’ve been a bit harsh to this classpect. That’s part of the nature of the Knight class though, occasionally they need a reality check. Not that their heads tend to wander, Knights tend to be fairly rooted in reality, only that they tend to lose sight of others’ perspectives in favour of their own. Particularly unhealthy knights also tend towards self-sustaining loops of anxiety, usually somewhat regarding their aspect. “Is the version of me I show others truly who I am? Are my emotions justified?” A Knight that can stay grounded is a formidable force, however, and should not be underestimated.

A Knight of Heart might be someone who enjoys and is skilled in roleplaying, and by connection RPGs. They strike me as the type to enjoy games where decisions and consequences hold real weight, and their dialogue options always reflect their true feelings, rather than the ‘good’ path most main characters are pushed into pursuing. They might also be skilled in matters regarding technology, coding and torrenting, and for some reason my intuition tells me scrapbooking. It’s an interesting idea, for sure. If you’re a KoH feel free to tell me how you feel about scrapbooking I’d love to hear it.

Mostly they need to remember that their achievements hold weight, and others cannot prescribe meaning to what they hold dear, only they can. As the knower of all that is irrelevant, I would know. Also, they shouldn’t let the whims of others become obstacles for their own desires.

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

My first original post in a while and its nothing anyone will want to read

This is a vent post disguised as how I came up with my name on tumblr.

When I was little I got my hands on a copy of H.P. Lovecrafts "At The Mountains Of Madness" and because of that I've always had a deep love of horror, and because I could relate to the Shoggoths and their stories, though I am nowhere near as brave as them.

Honestly I've always found it easier to relate to the "Monsters" in the media than the heroes. It's probably because I never really feel at home with who I am, a bit too tall with proportions that are a bit odd for my height.

It made me feel alien, like one of the Shoggoths had decided to try and mimic the human form but screwed the proportions up, not to mention that I never really got human interaction, always leaving me on the outs of most things when it came to talking with actual people until I got good at faking it.

But it probably also didn’t help, that my mother and I have a rather… horrendous relationship.

In fact one of the things I remember her saying to me the clearest was that I “Had no heart”.

All of this leads to the me most everyone in the real world knows, a tall guy who wears nothing but gray and black and yet despite how alien he acts, is always referred to as “Charismatic”.

Sounds exactly like a certain being in H.P Lovecraft's works, a cosmic horror, who is still probably nicer to speak to than me.

At least he will have a more expressive face than me.

For as an infamous man once said with a bit of tweaking on my part.

What I show to everyone, including the people who are “Closest” to me in the real world is merely an idea of a who I am, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there. It is hard for me to make sense on any given level. Myself is fabricated, an aberration. I am a noncontingent human being. My personality is malleable and unformed, my heartlessness goes deep and is persistent. My conscience, my pity, my hopes disappeared a long time ago, probably when I was seven or eight years old if they ever did exist. There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I see in the world and my utter indifference toward it, I have now surpassed. I still, though, hold on to one single bleak truth: no one is safe, nothing is redeemed and that each model of human behavior must be assumed to have some validity. Is evil something you are? Or is it something you do? My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact, I believe that the only thing all humans can feel equally is pain. But even after admitting this—and I have countless times, in just about every second of my “Life” I’ve committed—and coming face-to-face with these truths, there is no catharsis. I gain no deeper knowledge about myself, no new understanding can be extracted from my telling. There has been no reason for me to tell you any of this. This confession has meant nothing, and will mean nothing for all of time.

These are just the rantings of someone who is screaming against silence and screaming against the fact that not a single living being who I truly know understands nor will ever understand who the “Real” me is.

[archeologistfalse]

The Nightmare Part 2

Tw: Attempted Straggling(It worked but not exactly), Suicidal thoughts

It was dark, empty. False stood up, rubbing her head and observe what was this place. Well she tried, but a shadowy hand snatch her shoulder and slammed False into the floor. Out of survival instincts and surprise, False tried to tripped the mysterious figure legs but to no avail.

False then tried standing up to punch the person, she suddenly had this fiery rage, like a volcano ready to poured kind of rage. She wasn’t sure why, but she definitely wanted to kill him and that was never something she thought about doing to another person before.

But unfortunately, the figure made her move first, grabbing False throat first seemingly trying to straggle her, giving a tired laughter and a pained expression. Now she could fully see the figure face or outline, as it was of the Phamtom Assassin yet something was different, the eyes glowed bright yellow and the rest of the body was darker than night itself. Her throat fell as she gaze the Bandit and as she tried to strangle False.

“Hello Wicka, wait no what are you going by now?”

“False.” She said weakly, not quite trying to get out of the Bandit grip

“God we not being subtle at all, at least all of it is dead.” The Bandit sighed in relief

“What? Why ‘it’?”

The Assassin left out a roar: “Painting, scripture, history book, everything and archeologist could use to find traces of us!” She left out a bitter laugh

False felt out of breath, then only seconds later realize she was not breathing.

“Why would they make scripture for a random historian of Pixandria?” She couldn’t shake the feeling of dread and familiarity.

A twisted smile appears on Phantom face, clear as the sunlit day: “Why did we decide to cut and dye, why did we wear contract lenses. Why aren’t you wondering why the plural uses I address to both of us even now. You know deep down but you rather forget it until it show itself right into your face.”

False wanted to say something, but instead she punches the Phantom Assassin face

It didn’t falter the Assassin one bit: “You wanna know who I am?” She asked, almost like a silly question and a threat as the same time.

That set False off, everything in her inside consumed no longer with rage but pure fear. That when she struggled, so hard she was begging and fighting and screaming despite the raspiness of her voice.

Nothing worked, but False so desperately wished it did, she rather died than truly find the truth. It was anti-climatic in hindsight, but when The Phantom Assassin left go of the mask, the truth fell into its awful pieces and blinding like shiny new copper.

Shiny new cooper that glinted in the Assassin eyes, her hair not frazzle like False who barely bother a brush, hair fit like a royal.

“The Copper Queen.” A small, weak whisper echoes through False thoughts.

The Copper Queen now finally let go, and False fell. Fell that felt like it took thousands of years, and so many years before. She remembered everything.

All the other emperors, she remembered their smiles and frowns while she tried to fix loose ends(but fail fail fail fail). She left them, hopefully to be forgotten, if they even alive. Well Oli is so who knows.

Mephis…she didn’t even want to think about him.

And Wicka, she didn’t need to die. She could have lived a happy life in Pixandria, but she was used to be a vessel. She was used because of False, and False knew she should have just died instead of being reborn in a friend who she abandoned due to jealousy and her own selfish impulsive. Wicka really should have been the Copper Queen huh, as the elders would whisper. She at least wouldn’t have help in killing the Dragon

It was all too much, the memories. The mere memories of being something important feel pathetic and overwhelming. She is only suppose to be forgotten mentor, helping people and not hurting. She failed so much she can never repent, she want to die, so the past of the Copper Queen can actually disappear, the world will be better for it.

False finally lands, hitting her head, now looking at the her before, freezing in place though the tears move like a regretful waterfall.

The Bandit for the first time since she seen her cried: “I can erase them.” Her voice seem so much echoing than before: “It better that way don’t you think.”

“It better if the body dies as well.” False proclaimed

“Not now…but the time is coming. I seen it, soon the world will have it relief of the failing of the past.” The Copper Queen gave a hand to False, to help her up and the memories down once again. She take it.

False wake up.

Another tan colored candle go out, just as the hundreds of its predecessors has done.

[nahalism]

[trigger warning] re: anon ask advice for child s/a.

im not replying to the question directly cause i couldnt preface it with a warning & the topic matter is super heavy for the dashboard. hope u understand. advising you would be irresponsible as im not privy to the situation, its context, what the child needs, and how they're currently reacting. what i will do is put some things for u to watch out for below along with an advisory which im sure your on top of already, to seek out a professional service along side the counsel of a trusted elder

• presence (intentional time spent without being distracted) is so important. being consistently present = showing up. this doesnt mean being constantly with the child or coddling them, but that when you are with them, youre present. the more you or the childs caregivers show up for them in this way, the more trust will be built between the child and yourselves & that will help reinforce a feeling of protection and support from you to them. creating that space is important for 2 big reasons 1) it creates a line of communication which will be key. first to re-establish healthy communication and intimacy patterns (this will eventually make much of the self identification, self worth and boundary work easier) but also to reduce symptoms like self isolation & other harmful coping mechanisms. 2) people don't always open up on our timeline, so consistently holding room to be present makes it that much more likely that when something is said, or a behaviour/emotion slips through the cracks, there's someone will be to say it to or someone to see.

• whatever thought, emotion or reaction the child may be exhibiting/beginning to exhibit, needs to be sat with and listened to without trying to be changed or corrected. if not listened to effectively, they may repress the trauma of the experience, internalising it but not processing it, which means it will have to be processed later on. by giving them the space to be heard, seen, and felt early on, the issues specific to the child and their experience can be supported (which means when they are ready to transmute their experiences they'll have a clearer road map to the issues they need to solve, why they need to solve them, and they and their support system will have less guesswork to do on why they need the support and how to be supportive/supported later on).

• so so so many s/a survivors become withdrawn or silent & internalise their trauma, so its important that the goal of creating a space for conversation is not seen as a 'space to reverse the damage done' or 'manage how it gets expressed', but rather as a space that two people (not child and adult, but people) can be together. by genuinely bonding and not trying to fix someone you continue to appeal to the whole individual, rather than one aspect of the individuals journey. normalise inquiry into their life, who they are, what they enjoy doing, discovering the answer to those questions, & supporting them in asking new questions. only once they feel secure, can they begin to process what they have experienced at the level available to them & trying to guide someone through healing prematurely can be harmful, particularly if they arent ready to truly process what happened. so whilst its good to talk about the assault if they want to open up to you, it doesnt need to be the primary topic at hand.

• transparency is key!!! a lot if the time adults try to speak to children in a way that appeals to children, rather than just saying things as they are, and sometimes pussyfooting around the topic leads to confusion and miscommunication. now obviously use your discretion, but being given clear, hard facts, builds security, first for the person within themselves as it lets people plan their response, second between you and the person you tell the truth because they will believe over time you hold their interest at heart, and thirdly because knowing the full picture reduces fear of unknowns and potential blindspots. even tho that might be a concern cause your dealing with a child, an element of adulthood can come over children who have experienced certain things. that mix of processing adult thoughts and emotions with innocent reasoning can make it really hard to understand not only ones own thoughts and emotions but the appropriateness of them, what is right to say, and what should remain hidden. so by giving them adult vocabulary not only can you help them understand themselves, but also understand the manner of adult communication that is right and wrong for them to be around. hearing the truth and learning that its okay to be frank and say what you see, think, feel, hear is pivotal. it will it help them make sense of their own thoughts and emotions, it will help them feel supported in their own truth and be a further buffer of protection in the future. super importantly!! since children mirror everything, especially adults, it teaches them that they can speak freely and honestly, without fear of negative repercussions or being inappropriate.

• the other points are quite serious so this one is important. playyyy!! children need to be children. one of the worst effects that trauma can have is robbing children of lightheartedness and their childhood. whilst they may have been forced to grow ahead of their years in many ways, they are still a child, so do your best to help them cultivate not only a space to play in (both alone and with people you trust), but to be in the spirit of playfulness. & ofc, dont force feelings from them that arent there, so if you find their spirits are low, model the behaviour for them. inserting moments of fun, random adventures (even during errands like going to the shop) that evoke laughter and lightheartedness into the everyday stuff is v helpful to keeping that part of their spirit alive.

[septembersghost]

Sometimes I think harry's explanation on fine line(having s*x and feeling sad) suits hs1 better simply because that's all the album is about. I always think about his 2015-16 and I can't imagine it being any other way. Like I think 2015 was his worst year . First taylor left him and showed up with her bf 3 months after leaving him. Then zayn left the band and he definitely hated(atleast resented zayn for that) . He was snarky everytime zayn was brought up. I also felt like the boys also isolated him and blamed him for z.In some bts there was ot3 standing close then there was.......harry. If louis blamed harry in 2019 for breaking band we can imagine how he behaved in 15. on top there was Robin's cancer. So he had a lot to deal with and he was only 21-22. I genuinely don't think I'll be able to go through all that unscathed. So he didn't have a silver lining to look for in that stage and he used sex as a defence mechanism. Taylor left him when he had a bit more less-messy life I don't think hs1 would be this sad and maybe would've been more positive. I felt like tay left him when he desperately needed someone in his life who truly understands him as a support system. While he wrote it as a heartbreak album there is a lot of underlying issues in it. While he asks 'take the pain away' he is not just talking about Taylor. He is talking about everything in his life. I think Olivia perfectly describes how much he needed her companionship at that moment of his life.

that explanation of fine line is so inaccurate, and i think he said that to try and conceal some of its heartbreak/darkness/vulnerability, but it does the record a bit of a disservice. it's much more than that. i do agree that description is more fitting for HS1, though he does tackle some of that in a deeper way there as well.

idk that i'd characterize his response to zayn as hating him, but he definitely was upset/annoyed and played that off with snarky humor. i'd imagine it also frustrated him that zayn expressed some dismissal of the band as a whole, since harry has always openly been very proud of their music and what they achieved and created, but naturally the two of them had disparate experiences and walked away with individual feelings. i haven't necessarily picked up on the other boys blaming him (although i have seen commentary about h being blamed for the "hiatus" and some of the resentment that went along with that, whether unfounded or not), but that could be due to seeing things in hindsight rather than as they happened. (niall and harry seem quite close to me in press for mitam!)

agree that was a very difficult and tumultuous time for him, and it's easy to forget he was still SO young. there's real grief tucked away on a lot of HS1, and masking that with sex is not at all uncommon. the sorrow and feeling of not knowing how to handle everything is probably clearest in ever since new york, especially since he's said that it's about that specific loss, but shades of it and that uncertainty and hurt show up in ftdt/mmith and even two ghosts as well.

keeping in mind she was also very unwell and in an escalatingly bad place at this time, it makes additional sense as to why they never found a safe moment to land or an ability to work that out. two young, adrift people just trying to hold on and make it through various terrible storms weren't going to be able to build a lasting foundation.

While he asks 'take the pain away' he is..talking about everything in his life. definitely. fame itself is such a monster to deal with and to survive, and to be thrown headfirst into that as a teenager and try to surface and cope with early adulthood and finding your sense of self and experiencing such formative events...the trade-off of success and money or whatever for sharing your creativity and talent being that intrusive, incessant fame is nightmarish to consider. the entire concept of scrutiny on that level fills me with dread tbh. and it's been challenging and hard from the advent of popular celebrity, we've seen its destruction on so many people, sadly. it's incredible anyone survives it with their minds and hearts intact at all.

[mischiefmodig]

Prompts for Headcanons Meme \ / Not Accepting

@yendarxenk: 💛⚰️ (⁠ㆁ⁠ω⁠ㆁ⁠)

[ 💛 ] how empathetic is your muse? how compassionate are they? is this something people expect from them, or are people surprised when they find out how compassionate or empathetic they actually are?

So ... Loki is not an empathic individual, or rather, he very deliberately chooses not to be empathic. He is someone who watches from the shadows/sidelines and can be very in tune with people's facial expressions, the way they hold themselves, the tone of voice, etc.

However, I have a lot of headcanons surrounding the fact that Loki has really had to fight tooth and nail to overcome the physical struggles that he was born with in order to be perceived as an equal to Thor. He's someone to embodies ' you must earn your place ' which isn't always bad, but in tandem with ' if you aren't where you don't want to be, you're not working hard enough ', can make him very not compassionate with people who struggle.

However, this is a different case with people that he is close to and trusts. In the former case, he won't ever acknowledge past weaknesses that he has had in order to empathize with strangers or even acquaintances for fear of being perceived as not enough.

But he is someone who longs desperately for connection and a place to belong, and often times when he allows himself to open up and trust, he truly empathizes with people and shows compassion. He knows what all of that is like ( esp with his stunt as a villain ) and some part of him doesn't want anyone else to go through that - or at the very least, feel like they're alone through it like he felt.

I think people can be surprised about the fact that deep down he is compassionate, but for everyone he grew up with it seemed very expected for him to be cold, distant, off-putting, and blunt with people about stuff like that. The only exception is Thor except when Thor is shutting him out.

[ ⚰️ ] what are your muse’s greatest regrets? what would flash before their eyes when they’re on their deathbed?

hahahahaAHAHAHAAH-

So. The last memories Loki ever has are of Thor clutching at his chest and crying in utter remorse over his dying body ;;v;;

I like to think that what flashed before his eyes were his favorite childhood memories. He and Thor as young and innocent boys, playing with their mother and father in the garden watching them.

There was nothing wrong in the world.

He had everything he ever wanted: a family, a home, and more than that he had love.

He was so innocent, and I think some part of him regrets losing that.

But his absolute biggest regret is the fact that he never truly got to repair the damage he did to Thor over the past 10 years. Yes, he made the hero's move and saved Thor's life from a place of pure love and hope for his brother to find happiness someday. He doesn't regret giving Thor his loyalty and his life for that.

But they never said goodbye. They never properly reconciled anything about their pasts, their futures, or anything of the sort. They had only been traveling for 2 months before Thanos showed up, and with how closed off Thor is and how cagey Loki is - there is no way they were ever going to get a proper resolution in that time.

He realized far too late how much he genuinely loves Thor and wanted to be by his side, but now he can't anymore. It was supposed to be them against the world. He regrets abandoning Thor for the third time, and this time for good.

[lupically]

#FFF8EA | XIAO. 

genre | fluff

word count | 2233

warning | mention of falling off a moutain​

note | i just have some ideas for xiao...

"the yaksha is fond of you."

madame ping was no stranger to you. the kind old lady roaming around yujing terrace, often seen admiring flowers or brewing a cup of hot tea, was someone you come across every afternoon after school when you head to the censor to make a wish to rex lapis.

the conversation you two have had always been brief, mainly because you were always in a hurry to get to work. she never minded your urgency, blissfully talking about how fast-paced and active young people these days are, and simply being happy that you even stopped to let her hand you some glazed lilies from time to time.

interestingly, though, she stopped giving you glazed lilies after a while and began handing you some pretty qingxin instead.

you never questioned it. it was just flowers. you could live without being gifted only one kind of them for the rest of your life. but after today's incident—after the burning down of your school located just outside the city, as well as what madame ping told you with hearty laughter laced in her voice, you were starting to think the switch to qingxin meant something.

"the yaksha is fond of you."

you tightened your hands around the weak strap of your school bag, made out of bamboo after lots of trials and errors, and you tilted your head with increasingly furrowing brows.

"pardon me, the what is fond of me?"

"the yaksha, my dear."

you stared at her. the corner of your lips was quirking up in confused twitches, and she could see that you were fiddling uncomfortably on your spot because you truly have no idea what she was talking about. it was not because of the history of the yaksha that might have made you feel jittery and out of place, you simply had no idea!

madame ping smiled even harder at your innocent oblivion then. how could you have such ample knowledge of rex lapis and the adepti, but nothing about the yaksha? especially the one with his mark, a jade green glow surrounding you like fireflies, all over your aura?

maybe that was why xiao chose you.

or, at least, it was one of the reasons why he liked you.

it was because you knew nothing of him. you never think about him, you never talk about him, and you would never suspect the string of random good luck and trails of safe travels that have been following you around.

while it must be tearing him down on the inside; the fact that he wasn't being able to approach the one person who made his good deeds a choice rather than an order. it must be plaguing his mind and patience every day.

but, even then, your surprising lack of information about his identity does save him the pressure of being chased down by you.

it saves him the problem of being even further attached to you. it was already pressing on his breaking point when he went out of his way to watch over you, leaving trails of his magic over your mortal soul to keep you safe when he was busy. any further interaction would be disastrous.

logically, he knew he would fall for you, so he was doing preventive measures. he has to keep his chest sealed so his heart wouldn't jump toward you involuntarily; he has to keep his chest sealed so you couldn't see all the mess inside.

"oh, sweet child," madame ping cooed as she walked toward you. she whispered to herself, "you're being protected by an adeptus and you don't even know."

she brought up a qingxin from her pocket, the petals slightly wrinkled from the confined space. she tucked it carefully in the pocket of your shirt before patting the bloomed flower, almost as if she was reminiscing.

"this is his flower," she said.

you hummed, looking down at it. "this is his favorite flower?"

"i'm not sure about his favorite flower, but this is his flower," she replied casually.

you pursed your lips together. well, at least now you knew the qingxin did have something to do with the... yaksha... or whatever.

"madame ping... may i ask–"

"you can find him at qingyun peak," she cut you off calmly. "during the lantern festival. he is always there during the festival. it was for the quiet, he said, that old man."

you shut your mouth, surprised that she knew what you wanted to ask. "uh... qingyun peak... is kind of... a big place..."

"you will find him if he wants to see you," she said. "you can speak his name–xiao. he might not show himself to you, but if you have something to say, he's likely there to listen."

qingyun peak. the lantern festival. the yaksha.

right.

that was how you found yourself bearing the freezing night cold with just a thin shirt and a ragged fabric wrapped and tied around your torso, your hands hurting from grabbing sharp edges and rough rocks, and your anxiety increasing with every jump that not only would the almond tofu in your bag fall, but you would as well.

as opposed to watching xinyan play for the lantern festival, being warm and cozy from the warm city lights and the tasty street food, and maybe even letting go of a lantern yourself after making a wish, you were here. you were alone, climbing mountains for a chance.

all for a random boy madame ping told you about! someone who was supposedly fond of you—if this xiao guy was so fond of you, he would have shown himself the first three times you called his name at the bottom of the mountain!

"fond of me–what a joke," you said through gritted teeth as you hoisted yourself up on a small ledge. "i'm going to kick his ass so hard when i find him."

you let yourself pant for a minute, regaining your stamina as you groggily accessed the higher peaks above you. your eyes squinted in dismay, but something inside you—the curiosity for the truth, as well as the longing for a friend, also the anger for playful revenge—urged you to keep going.

"he better eats the almond tofu i made," you muttered to yourself as you moved closer to the mountain. "i even picked some flowers... for him."

jump after jump, you were close to making it to the second ledge when suddenly, a slime jumped and appeared above you. it looked surprised, mirroring your expression, and as it prepared itself to attack you after seeing your hands move, it stopped when it saw you fumble about in the air before you began to fall further away from itself.

you had let yourself go. out of surprise, and an instinct to grab a weapon, your hands moved away from the edge and you fell.

your mind raced as the wind hit your face, your falling body heavy against the current that desperately tried to take you up from the ledge you just climbed up from. you would surely die from the impact if you drop. even without dropping down to the bottom, you would still suffer from a painful death.

was there something to do? how did this happen, you were doing fine! what should you do, what could you do? you were falling already—what was there to do now? anything, something?

"i–archons–" you heaved with the cold air, your lungs squeezing inside you with fear as tears began to drip out of your eyes.

anything? anybody?

xiao?

"you can speak his name. he might not show himself to you, but if you have something to say, he's likely there to listen."

"xi–" your voice broke for a millisecond when you could see the green grass approaching quickly. you squeezed your eyes shut, and your voice was louder than you have ever allowed it to be.

you called his name, loud and clear.

the first thing you felt was a lightning strike. you opened your eyes at the electric feeling to find a flash of green. it was bright, close and bright, in a way that was blinding. but then the tail broke into gentle fragments as a pair of arms circled your body to catch you from the fall.

one arm went around your waist, the other hand securely tightened itself around the back of your neck to keep it from breaking from the impact of his fast landing.

xiao growled under his breath when his feet struck the ground in a heavy blow. he pushed your head to his shoulder, shielding your face away from the soil that bounced upward as a result.

quietness ensued after a moment of calm. you took the moment to access the situation—you were fine. someone, likely xiao, saved you from the fall. you were fine.

he dropped onto the ground, sitting on the cold grass with your body pressed close to his, when he heard that you began to sob from the accident.

despite feeling awkward and unsure, he kept quiet and let you vent out the post-accident fear so you could slowly bring in the relief that you were still alive. but his quietness was unwelcomed when you suddenly curled your fist and hit him across the shoulder.

"screw you! why didn't you just answer me when i–when i was at the bottom of the moun–mountain! screw you!"

you blamed him and you hit his shoulder repeatedly. your weak fist was nothing compared to the pain he has endured in the past, but your cries cut through him like glass in the most seamless pattern when he realized he was part of the reason why you had to go through that traumatic experience.

if he had just jumped down from the peak when he heard you the first time, this would not have happened.

xiao looked at the empty spot before him. his golden eyes glowed with a softness that has long fallen into the abyss, forever gone and forever abandoned. but he brought it back out now because he cares about you, and he is, ultimately, attached to you, and he loves you.

"you're right," he said, holding you close to him. "i'm sorry."

ever since you discreetly left the almond tofu on the roof of the wangshu inn, your shy figure hunched over in an apologizing manner because you were told that you were giving food to an important, albeit weird, guest, and your blissfully ignorant words of encouragement as you told him to go out and explore the world, to give it a chance so he could find people he would like.

ever since then, he has loved you, in fragile and discreet ways, in unwavering and patient ways, in protective and caring ways.

"i love you, i'm sorry."

you stopped sobbing almost immediately, and he was afraid he might have said the wrong thing.

wasn't it what he was supposed to do? verr told him to speak his mind once. just be truthful with his feelings and nothing could go wrong. was he not supposed to show his affection blatantly, as he would his complaints and opinions?

"that... that is going a little too fast for me, xiao," you joked. "let's settle with appreciating each other for now."

he heard you laugh, causing the weight of his heart to drop, like finding lights in a fog, like seeing the lanterns in the night sky and realizing that there are more people alive with you than you think.

"thank you, for saving me," you said kindly then, your fist long stopped hitting him and was now patting his shoulder.

"always."

“but burning my school down is not the best approach for... whatever it was you were trying to help me with.”

xiao blinked in confusion, then realization hit him. he almost forgot about that! he was, shockingly, dwelling in the prideful fact that because he literally destroyed the building, you would be free of school for the day, and therefore not having to face all the hardships inside the walls he could not venture past. he thought it was the best thing to do, second to beating up everyone, which he politely opposed to.

“i am not sorry about that,” he muttered. “it was what i thought was best.”

he could feel you grin in his embrace. your laughter reverberated in the air, making his magic glow around you both. it was like nothing he has felt before. he wanted to stay like this—in this position where you were engulfed by him, where he could surround you with himself instead of the fireflies of green he has left behind, where he was with you in a way it was entire, in a way he could feel your beating heart against his own.

you are pressing onto his breaking point.

you are going to open him up, see him whole, and renovate his insides to your will. you are going to take his heart from his chest, breaking through his ribcage made feeble from his sheer affection for you, and claim it as your own. you are going to make him love, like sharp knives, like soft breaths, like tragic past, like warm blood, you are going to make him love.

you are pressing onto his breaking point.

and xiao lets you.

because you will be worth the tragedy, you will be worth everything.

[demonicheadcanons]

Obey Me Brothers + Little Affections

AN: Keep thinking about the little things each brother would do to express affection. Some warm fluffy stuff because we all need it. Enjoy!!

The hair drying one on Lucifer’s sparked this entire thing thanks

Lucifer

- Washing and drying your hair. You know if you get your hair washed at a hairdressers and they just. Go to town with a towel drying your hair? He finds it hilarious and loves doing that. You’ll hear him chuckle, unable to see him because your face is covered by the towel. He’s softer towards the end but initially when trying to get most of the excess water his only concern is not actually hurting you. He’s also genuinely trying to help, just having a little fun with it at the same time.

- Continuing on from this, Lucifer will ruffle your hair. If it doesn’t really upset you, he loves to make a mess of it, and he grins at you, your hair sticking out every which way.

- The second his brothers aren’t around, he seems to canonically love holding your hand under the guise of keeping track of you or comforting you. Its partially true - the MC gets into trouble easily, so its good to keep a hand on them. However, the comforting affect goes both ways.

- Sharing information with you implies a close bond (or at the very least, a strong curiosity, like when he hints at where Mammon’s card is / when he talks about the album) and it means Luci cares about you a lot. He likes to talk about his interests and introduce you to things he cares a lot about. A lot of the time this comes in the form of music, because it’s something he’s able to enjoy whilst still doing his work.

- Doing origami or other paper crafts together? Really relaxes him. It’s so peacefully intimate and cosy. You sit together at his desk, work documents hidden out of sight for now, and make whatever you can out of colourful little bits of paper. He likes making flowers, although he’d never say it out loud, but he makes you countless crowns with paper flowers of all different kinds. You walk in one day when he’s taking a break from work and he’s got paper cranes lining the entire length of his desk. He calls you over and puts one on your head for absolutely no reason before acting like it never happened.

- If no one else is around and he’s feeling a bit daft, he’ll sweep you up into his arms with no warning and just hold you like that, staring directly into your eyes with a daring and loving smile on his face. This happens most when it’s late at night and all the coffee he’s had is starting to wear off and he feels a little more relaxed and open. He’ll carry you to his room to cuddle, too, if you don’t have anywhere else you need to be. Just pray none of his brothers encounter you two because he’ll set you down on your feet immediately and he won’t help you up if you fall.

[[Other Brothers under the read more]]

Mammon

- Fist bumps!!! He passes you and holds his fist out, and pouts if you don’t immediately bump your hand into his. Do the snail or turkey thing once and he falls in love with it. Lucifer, tired and stressed after a lot of work, decides for once to go along with giving him a fist bump because he’s too tired and no one else is around, and Mammon does the snail thing. The look on Luci’s face is worth everything that happened after. But when its you, Mammon just smiles and beams at you. He’s really happy.

- Sitting so close together that you can’t possibly move without disturbing the other. Sides fully pressed together even if he doesn’t have an arm around you or your hand in his. He likes the constant contact, it’s healing. So heavily invested in whatever you’re watching that the two of you simply don’t realise how close you are until the episode ends and you realise you’re leaning your full weight against him and his face is red but he’s smiling so softly you can’t bring yourself to move.

- You’ll have to start the habit, but, tackle hugs. You see him in the distance somewhere and sprint over and tackle him full force. He’ll act mad at first, especially if he trips and falls over or he’d been talking with someone else, but he holds onto you tightly and his face is beautifully flushed. After a while he’ll do it too, although he’s a lot gentler, but if you hear him call your name you need to turn around quickly and hold your arms out. He’ll lift you up into the air and twirl you around once or twice before just, going on with his day as normal. You hear his laughter as he walks away, bright and bubbly and confident, exactly as he should be.

- The absence of insults is important for Mammon. He’ll tolerate it if it’s every now and then but he’ll really notice if you’re always kind to him, he pays attention and holds tightly on to every compliment you give him. When he feels low he finds you and holds you in his arms, fingers playing with the loops in your jeans, as he recites off every nice thing you’ve said to him, hoping you’ll reaffirm them. Did you mean it when you said he was one of the most caring people you’d ever met? When you said his eyes made you feel at home?

- He likes feeding the crows with you. It’s something he does without telling anyone, but one day he takes you out along with him and the crows take a liking to you instantly. He likes how you look with his crows standing proud and confident on your arm, your hair a mess from their flapping wings as you laugh and try to get the last bits of food out from the bag.

- If you style his hair and put random accessories in it - anything from silly plastic hair clips to flowers to feathers - he’ll keep them in all day. He doesn’t care who sees because his MC spent their time doing this for him, and he’s happy to tell anyone who dares criticise him.

Leviathan

- He’s awkward with any affection at first, but he actually builds up to quick tight hugs when he’s really happy. If he’s incredibly excited - just won tickets for something, or some idol liked his comments - expect to be tackled in a hug. He gets flustered after, but if you hold tightly onto him he won’t let go immediately.

- If they even vaguely relate to his own interests, Levi will try hard to be invested in anything you really enjoy. For example, he’ll watch your favourite shows with you or try and read things you enjoy, etc.

- At the same time, Levi will share his interests with you. It’s not something he can really avoid doing as it’s ingrained in him to ramble about his special interests, but it will come in seemingly smaller forms - for example, he’ll hand you his headphones one day, blushing, and ask what you think of this song, or he’ll show you a paragraph in a TSL book that has particularly good rhythm or evokes a lot of emotion. If he lends you his books or DVDs it’s practically a proposal.

- You two have full conversations with Henry as he swims about in his tank. About silly and pointless things or very serious topics, from jokingly scolding him to venting about the future and about school and such. It warms Levi’s heart.

- Horn pats. When he’s in his demon form, pull him down to your level and pat his horns. He’s so flustered he can’t move the first few times, but one day he’ll start coming up to you and asking you if you want to do it. He likes being able to be in his demon form, and likes that you’re comfortable with him even when he doesn’t look as human.

- When he’s very comfortable with you, he likes to wrap you up in surprise hugs and laughs if you try to squirm your way out of his grip, a brilliant mischievous glow in his eyes, any self-consciousness long forgotten.

Satan

- I’ve said this before on another post but Satan likes to pet your hair and run his thumbs over your palms, pressing into them gently like he’s touching the pads on the paws of a cat. He traces circles and presses kisses into your palm and over each finger tip and knuckle, like it’s his own form of worship.

- It takes a long time to build up the confidence to do so but I can see him like. Playfully nipping at your skin if he presses light kisses against your shoulders or neck. If it makes you laugh or blush he smiles against your skin.

- If you fall asleep somewhere he’s the first person to go get a blanket to throw over you - he’d rather just let you sleep if you’re somewhere safe instead of disturbing you to lift you elsewhere, and risking waking you up. Occasionally he’ll kneel down beside you and stay there with a book until you wake up, and he’s fallen asleep like that once or twice.

- Just. Talking. Laying down together and going from topic to topic, saying whatever crosses your minds with no filters and no judgement. Letting time pass by with the comfort of the other, laying on your back in the planetarium or library or in his room, wherever there aren’t books piled up. No responsibilities except to listen to the other, and every now and then you laugh and he feels like maybe this could be home.

Asmodeus

- Sharing things, whatever it is. Food, clothes, jewellery. Taking a necklace off and putting it on him because “this would go so well with your outfit,” or holding out your fork and telling him to try some of your food, it tastes heavenly. Perfume, as well, is a must - he wants the two of you to smell the same.

- Like Mammon, he likes to have some kind of contact with you at all time - holding hands, an arm across your shoulders, anything. But the main point of contact he truly adores is if he has his hands on the skin of your stomach or back, even in the most innocent way possible. If his arms are around you and you’re comfortable with it, he’ll tuck his hands under your shirt and trace shapes against your hips, stomach, back, lower ribcage. Wherever he can. It’s something he’ll do absentmindedly without everything thinking about it, and it recharges him when he’s low on energy.

- He actually really likes working alongside you, whether it’s school work or something related to a part time job, or a potential business idea. He’s smarter than anyone would give him credit for and he loves how you look when you’re deep in thought, trying to solve something, and how your eyes light up as you figure it all out. He’s not one to just give you the answer to things, so if he knows something and you don’t he likes to hint at it like it’s a game. When you guess the answer right he presses a kiss to the tip of your nose and beams at you.

- Late night phone calls where you talk about whatever’s keeping you awake. He doesn’t mind who’s calling who, he wants to ramble or listen to you at any given moment and he’ll give up his sleep if it means you can get something that’s bothering you off your chest. Similarly, there is no greater comfort for him than getting to complain to you about something or other, something that’s genuinely bothering him and that’s stuck in his head. He feels like it only disappears when you take a hold of it for him for a little bit.

Beelzebub

- Sharing food, obviously, means a lot to him. Feed him bites of your food, give him anything you don’t want, and he’ll love it. He especially loves if you share food that’s important to you in some way, and you’ll find him giving you little bites of his food too the closer you two get. It means a lot to him when people embrace the fact that he eats so much, instead of scolding him for it or making jokes about it.

- He really likes holding hands. Your hands are so small in his and yet you trust him not to injure them as you pull him along. He feels possessive sometimes but isn’t outwardly affectionate enough to do anything about it, and the last thing he wants is to make you uncomfortable. It’s the perfect thing for him.

- Stacking random things on the other. Sitting cross-legged in a park, pulling daisies out of the lawn that’s about to be mowed anyway and gently placing them into each other’s hair, on the other’s shoulders and laps. If you’re laying in his bed he’ll take random light objects off his night stand and place them on top of you. There’s no purpose and no intention, and yet it makes him smile and gives him butterflies, and he laughs if you glare jokingly up at him but let him continue.

- Run your hands through his hair, down the sides of his face, under his jaw. Anywhere. He melts in an instant, mouth slightly open as you poke his cheeks or tickle his neck and shoulders with feather light touches.

Belphegor

- Nap. On. Him. Any time, any where. Snuggle up to him, lean your head against his shoulder or bury your face into his neck or lay down on his lap and just rest. He blushes every time and it takes him a second to recover. Sometimes he’ll angle himself so he can lean against you two and he’ll fall asleep as well.

- He likes those kind of monkey hugs where you wrap your entire body around him and he can bury his face in your neck and hold on as tight as he wants. He’ll walk around like that until you get to the attic and he can throw you into his pile of pillows and blankets, and he flops down on top of you and clings onto you again, trying to hide his face because he’s smiling so wide his cheeks hurt.

- He loves playful, back and forth banter. He’ll tease you constantly, loves if you pout at him, loves it more if you retort with something and keep it running for a while before the two of you start laughing.

- Being childish. He’ll stick out his tongue at you or pull a sudden face and he expects you to do it back immediately. If you don’t he’ll poke and tickle you, telling you how disappointed and hurt he is.

- Headbumps! But not too hard. Gently bump your head against his shoulder to get his attention and he’ll pat it. Bonus points if you nuzzle into his hands then - he’s hard to fluster but you can hear him swallow as he starts to go red. You’ll immediately have all of his attention to yourself.

- Belphie is the king of silent conversations. The tiniest gestures, nods, tilts of the head. He can pick up on all of them, knows exactly what you’re trying to say without you saying it, to the point where sometimes you won’t even realise you’re not talking aloud.

[guaxinimraccoon]

jesus christ why-

oh mY DEAR GOD-

FIRST OF ALL I'm SO sorry for taking so damn long to answer those, I've been really really busy and I'm very sorry, I'm doing my best to answer everybody ; o ;

BUT FINALLY let's talk about our big last Euphoria reveal (about four months ago but ok-), where I showed you guys that Alex is Brad's father and Elisa is Toby's mom.

"BUT GUAX WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??? HOW?? WHEN??? WHERE??"

SHUSH , CALM YOUR TITS DOWN and let me explain:

Ok, so I'll be putting some links here and there because yes, Alex and Elisa's story is very, VERY connected to Brad and Toby's. 

And get ready for a veeeeeeeeeeeeery long post. You were warned.

As you all already know, Alex and Elisa had a troublesome meeting, but eventually got closer to each other, they fell in love yadda yadda yadda BUT their will to get closer to each other, in other words, their relationship brought HUGE consequences.

Yes, they did manage to build a healthy relationship, they were happy, they were fine.

But they were also adults, adults that wanted something serious and concrete, they couldn't spend the rest of their lives as forbbiden lovers.

So Elisa did something literally illegal. She did a potion that was forbidden by the Colony authorities - a shrunken potion - to get closer to Alex.

Those potions were never developed, they're rustic and really antique, so they could do more harm than good or not work at all.

But Alex didn't care, he took the risk and drank the potion to get closer to his girl, the woman that was the love of his life.

The effect of the potion is temporary, so Alex would drink them from time to time whenever he had the opportunity to visit the Colony, spend some time with Elisa and, of course, be a part of her life.

He wasn't just trying to "be like her", he was also trying to be a part of her home. He made friends with her friends, he met her family, he met new imps, new fairies, all of it under his "imp disguise". He even fought for the Colony at it's war times (that is lasting till the current story time). He EVEN presented himself with a more “impish name” - Turk - to make sure people wouldn’t suspect anything.

Of course, people eventually started to ask why didn’t he live in the Colony with Elisa, why did he only showed up from time to time. Alex and Elisa lied, obviously, they told everyone that Alex belonged to a secluded imp tribe that lived walking around the forest as nomads, which made sense since those types of imp communities do exist.

ANYWAY THE POINT IS Alex grew affectioned of those people and with their lifestyle. He started to feel like he was one of them. 

And, of course, he was now closer than he ever was to Elisa.

Since they were different species, they never worried about having kids. I’ve never said this before but Alex is a doctor, he knows about this stuff, so he always made sure to reassure Elisa that "they were their own condon" and, as sad as it may sound, they couldn't have kids.

... Or so Alex thought.

You know how tigers and lions can have offspring together? Yeah, it's the same thing.

It's very hard to happen, but they spent YEARS together if you know what I mean so yeah

That's how Alex and Elisa gave birth to their first child: Tobias, the only one of a specie that is a mix between human and imp.

His parents were really worried at first, afterall, they new NOTHING about Toby's condition. They didn't know if he was going to grow as large as a human or if he'd assume imp proportions forever. After some research with his son's blood, Alex found out that Toby was indeed half human and half imp, but he was predominantly physically an imp. That means his biological features are, mostly, imp like: he'd hardly grow as large as a human through his life's course and could live as a normal imp in the Colony. The fact that he showed talent for magic (once he was old enough to do so) and was able to do it just like any other imp in the Colony also made things easier.

Elisa and Alex chose to raise Toby in the Colony, they believed it’d be healthier and safer for him (especially after some events that I’ll be talking about in other posts), although it hurt Alex to pretend that he was an imp to his son and that he couldn’t see him everyday. 

Even if they couldn’t see each other everyday, Alex and Toby were very close. Toby loved his daddy very much and was very attached to him.

After five years after Toby was born, Elisa got pregnant again and gave birth to their second child: Bernardo (that’d eventually be nicknamed as “Brad”), one of the two only beings of the specie Alex and Elisa accidently created together.

For preucation, Alex took a bit of Brad’s blood and made some research, just like he did to Toby.

And what he found out wasn’t exactly... relieving.

Brad, just like Toby, was half human and half imp, but he had expressed mostly human features in his physical body. He was as small as a baby imp now, but it was a matter of time until he started to grow very VERY large.

Unlike Toby, Brad couldn’t live as an imp in the Colony and things got very complicated for them.

Alex wanted to leave. He told Elisa the Colony’s community would NEVER accept their youngest, they would never accept Alex and probably wouldn’t accept Toby either. They had to leave that place before they couldn’t hide the truth anymore, even if it cost revealing Toby, a five year old child, that most of his life was a lie.

But Elisa was hesitant. She didn’t want to leave her home, her parents, her friends. She knew Alex was right, they couldn’t stand that play for too long, but how to leave everything she had built behind? How to leave everything she knew as home behind? It wasn’t that easy.

Until something very bad happened.

Remember I said Alex made a few friends in the Colony? So, one of them was Stefan, a experienced fairy soldier that had known Elisa for as long as she was alive. He was pretty much her best friend (even if he was old enough to be her father) and now he was also great friends with Alex.

Stefan is important here. He has a very tragic backstory involving humans. He lost pretty much everything to them: his whole family and his wings, something that meant more than just flying to him.

So, as expected, he hates humans and truly believes that they are nothing more than monsters that try to manipulate you and to get advantage from imp’s and fairy’s magic. 

After some years, he started to get very suspicious over Alex. Some things weren’t making any sense anymore and that “nomad imp community” was starting to sound way more like an excuse than the actual truth. He simply didn’t understand what was stopping him to live with Elisa and his sons for once.

So he did some investigation. One day, he followed Alex (that he knew as Turk) out of the Colony, in one of the days he had only come to visit his family. Alex had said earlier that he had to “go back to his own society”. Yeah, right. Stefan was hiding the whole time and followed Alex till a good distane from the Colony’s limits. 

And he didn’t get exaclty happy to see his best friend growing impossibly huge out of nowhere.

Stefan now knew the truth: Alex was pretending to be an imp using shrinking potions. He didn’t belong to any nomad imp group, he was a human that lived in his own house and was coming to the Colony to play family with them.

Of course, he didn’t only felt betrayed, but pissed as fuck. Stefan didn’t waste any time: as soon as Alex came back to the Colony he confronted him. Alex tried to explain himself, but they only argued and ended up having a pretty bad fight.

In anger, Stefan didn’t want to hear no more explanations, so he told some of the Colony’s high authorities about Alex’s lies and that they had to do something about it. 

The Colony’s Council decided to call Elisa and solve things between imps and fairies only. But they showed her no mercy.

They basically gave her two options: or she’d prove her loyalty to the Colony and would kill her husband and her human son, or the Colony would sentence all of them to death penalty, including Toby and Brad, children that they claimed should have never been born. 

Elisa was in shatters. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t kill the man she loved and her baby child, she just couldn’t. She was about to accept the second option, rathering die with her family than killing them, but Stefan decided to help her out.

He wasn’t expecting the Council to be so cruel and he started to regret his decisions the moment he saw how Elisa was worried about her family and how much she loved them, even if they were human. He hated Alex and Brad, but seeing Elisa in excruciating pain over them was impossible for him, so he made up a plan with her to save everybody.

It cost Elisa to trust Stefan, he had told their secrets to the worst people possible, but she had no option aside from accepting his help and following his plan.

The plan was simple: Elisa would tell the Council she’d kill Alex and Brad and would tell Alex that she had changed her mind and that they should leave the Colony as soon as possible now that Stefan knew the truth.

Alex believed her and, after Stefan’s confirmation, so the Council did. The next step was to take Alex and Brad to the Colony’s limits, pretending they were about to leave. 

Then it happened.

Elisa made, with Stefan’s help, a huge barrier on the Colony’s frontier that didn’t allowed humans to cross it. It was basically a security method that they never thought it’d be necessary.

But now it was and it wasn’t meant to protect the ones inside the Colony...

Of course, Alex didn’t understand SHIT.

He spent MONTHS returning to the Colony in his shrinking form, trying to find a way to cross the barrier and to get Toby back. 

Or to talk to Elisa.

Or to understand.

Or anything.

He just wanted his family.

Eventually, his potions ended and he was left to raise Brad on his own and to never see his wife and oldest son again.

Since then, he hates Elisa. Or at least thinks he does. He’s just deeply mad at her, he doesn’t understand why she left them. 

He did everything for her. Denyed his own race, submitted himself to the dangerous effects of a extremely nocive potion which he faces the consequences till this day, did his fucking best to be the best father and husband his family could have-

All this love, all this effort, all this sweat and blood

Wasted.

It took years for him to fully recover. Aside from the health problems the abusive use of the shrinking potions brought, he also became alcohoolic. Because he wasn’t mentally estable enough, neither to take care of himself and of his very very small son, he went to live in his parents house. His family knew about Elisa and the children they had together, his folks actually liked her a lot so it saddened them as well that she simply abandoned Alex and Brad and that they would never see Toby again.

His family didn’t had to worry about Brad’s very little size for too long though, before he was one year old he had already reached his human size.

Anyway, Alex’s family gave him a huge help until he was healthy enough to take care of Brad, the only one left from the family he built.

Back to Elisa, she didn’t told Alex her plan because she KNEW he wouldn’t want to do it. She simply knew Alex would be too stubborn. He’d have wanted to try to escape or to face the Council. Both alternatives would get them all killed.

Toby didn’t understand why his mother did what she did. He was forced to go back home with her, screaming the whole time, saying that they left his father and brother behind while Elisa was crying endelessly.

Stefan came to them eventually and calmed Toby down. His heart broke when he saw Elisa. She was... not okay.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have time to assist her. He immediatly went to a representent of the Council and took them to Elisa and to the Colony’s frontier to prove that she had done it and did even more than she was suppose to. Of course, not without consequences to her sanity, she had just killed her husband and baby, of course she was in pain.

Nevertheless, the Council confirmed Elisa had done her part and left to leave her alone with the child they let live.

After that, Toby spent weeks returning to that spot of the frontier to look for his dad and brother. No sucess.

As time went by, he eventually forgot about Brad, he was very young when they tore apart and Elisa and Stefan never talked about him nor Alex. All he can remember is that there was a baby in the middle of that mess, but he can’t relate to it.

He kept the memories of his father though, who was closer to him, and till this day he believes he’s alive somewhere and that he can be found. But he has no idea he’s a human and has no idea of his own true nature.

Elisa and Alex miss their respective sons deeply and think about them everyday. They also miss each other very much and the first months after the incident were terribly agonizing for the both of them.

They kept going for the child that had remained for the both of them and raised them apart from each other. Alex never told Brad what happened and so Elisa did to Toby. Like that, none of the brothers knew about the existence of each other.

Until the day Toby was sent, coincidentally, to his “little” brother’s house

And none of them has no idea of this fucking long backstory I just spent four months writing :)

enjoy

[yandere-sins]

Good evening or morning (wherever you are).... My request for today is Kaeya from genshin impact. What if he were to confess his love to a timid reader but *gasps* she reveals she has a boyfriend already. Smut is fine if you want.

Thank you so much 🦋

Thank you for requesting!! ♥ Part 2 of my trying to get back into smut OTL

Rated Lemon/Explicit!

»»———————— ♡ ————————««   

Even after everything that happened, you weren't able to forget the look on Kaeya's face as you broke the news.

True, you and your boyfriend had wanted to keep your relationship on the low, but not because you tried to deceive your friends, just so you two could have some peace while finding out more about each other and developing your feelings. But you never meant for anyone to look at you so... disappointed. Even if you were happy with your choice of partner, having to reject someone dear to you still hurt.

"Oh, [Name]," Kaeya sighed, shaking his head. Of course, he wouldn't be happy to hear the person he just asked out confess that they had a boyfriend. Perhaps especially because you two had always been relatively close, even more so lately where you were out almost every day after work. You felt a tinge of regret not telling him earlier. Save him the embarrassment you assumed he must feel. Then again, how could you have known that the charismatic Kaeya had feelings for you? He could have any woman in town, so why had it to be you? Of all people, you wouldn't have expected Kaeya to confess his love to you. Even if you two always got along fine, you thought yourself to look rather gray next to the shining knight that Kaeya was. Someone who wasn't fit to be anything more than friends with him.

"W-We can still continue being friends?" was the best and stupidest comfort you could come up with on the spot. You saw his grimace of disapproval, and it took him a second to collect himself, taking a deep breath before pushing himself away from the wall he had leaned on after learning the truth. Kaeya truly appeared devastated by the realization that you were taken already, and part of you could understand him. Certainly, you had just ruined his night and whatever companionship you two had, just because you couldn't have been more open from the beginning. It would have at least saved him some heartache, if any.

"Friends?" Kaeya mumbled, unfolding his crossed arms as he walked back to your side, leaning on the backrest of your chair. Feeling uncomfortably cornered, you stood up, looking around you. The outside of the tavern was lonely, and Kaeya had chosen this place for his confession surely to avoid any curious listeners. There were still voices coming from inside Angel's Share, but the streets of Mondstadt were quiet at this time of the night, with only his smooth voice reaching out to you. "With all due respect..."

Wrapping his fingers around your chin, you were forced to look up, staring right back into the mocking expression of your 'friend', the mood suddenly shifting. You had regretted having to reject Kaeya's feelings before, Kaeya always having been a good friend to you and hurting him felt wrong. But you would come to regret it much more that you went outside with him, away from the safety of the masses.

"I'd rather be anything else than your 'friend'."

»»————————

"Come on, Dove! Say it! I'm better than him, aren't I?"

"N-No--"

Your attempt to refuse this assumption was meekly interrupted by your loud gasps as Kaeya pushed forward. The curve on his cock was so perfectly aligned inside of you, constantly hitting the good spots whenever he plowed it inside. A cocky grin was on his face as he showed you off in the reflection of the mirror before you, spread over his legs and hanging in his grip on you. It was the biggest taunt he could think of, constantly reminding you how good you were feeling despite your initial refusal of him.

The image inside of the mirror wasn't one you had ever seen of yourself. That sweaty, drooling mess of a human, eyes unfocused and yet filled with pleasure, was nothing you could relate to. And yet, except for the occasional blue strands of hair falling over your skin and peeking out from behind your shoulder, your brain recognized the sight as you. Still, it was hard to accept this side of yourself, especially with his marks and hands. All. Over. It.

Kaeya only laughed as you tried to refute him, smirking a cocky grin from behind you. "Oh? Did Mr. Boyfriend not touch you yet? Even though you're such a little slut?"

His hand falling between your legs, Kaeya first brushed up your thighs, causing you to squirm from the sensation. His hands were trained and roughed up from handling swords, but the way he used them showed how skilled he was. Settling at your clit, he slowed down the rocking of his hips for a moment to get his fingers wet with your juices before picking up the pace again. There was no way you could deny how you were feeling after riding him for the better portion of time ever since he brought you to this city apartment of his, your body shivering and moving on its own with his hand teasing your clit, the additional pleasure riling you up.

"Look at your cunt gaping open for me~" he purred, opening your lower lips wide for the mirror to reflect your exposed entrance. Seeing how his shaft disappeared inside you clearly, you only felt hotter from embarrassment, turning your head which was quickly caught by his free hand, Kaeya turning it forward again - painfully so. His grip wasn't even close to how he had touched you before when you two had still been 'only' drinking buddies. You weren't sure how long he had feelings for you, but you wagered that these feelings must have changed much in the last hour, just like his touch. It once had been so gentle, kind. But now, it was rough and demanding, leaving no room for how you felt.

"Let go!" you said firmly, tearing yourself from his grip to avoid looking at this strange self in the reflection. You felt ashamed and embarrassed. Kaeya made a fool out of you, now that he had you in this peculiar situation. It's not like you wanted to cheat on your boyfriend and betray him in any kind. But your body reacted positively to it, making Kaeya chuckle as you tightened around him after seeing yourself, "You are enjoying it a lot, aren't you?"

It brought tears to your eyes, knowing it was Kaeya deeply lodged inside of you, but your sobs were just another incentive for him to continue. You couldn't even blame him for that - they did sound a lot like sounds of pleasure that overtook their place. Soon you were back to gasping and moaning, glad you at least weren't begging him for more with how shameful you behaved.

"You can still leave him," Kaeya suggested. Though a smile still played around his lips before he hid them behind your shoulder, kissing it tenderly, he sounded very serious. "Leave him and stay with me. No one needs to know what kind of slut you are, going behind his back."

"But I didn't!" you sobbed. "You forced me too-- You forced yourself on me!"

Without hearing the sigh falling off Kaeya's lips, you found yourself breathing in sharply as he made a sudden push, burying his cock even deeper inside of you, the base of it touching your body. The gasp was followed by a long moan, tears streaming down your face after he exploited your sensitivity so much. It was a regrettable, disgusting moan signaling how much you enjoyed him hitting these sweet spots of yours.

Your gaze fell back to the mirror, showing the pleasure-stricken expression on your face. Even though you knew you shouldn't feel this way, Kaeya simply seemed to know all the right things to do, and he used all of them. It was bitter, but he did make you feel... erotic. Made you feel like something you never saw yourself as. Something your boyfriend couldn't make you feel.

With him, it was sugary-sweet puppy love, but with Kaeya, there was so much more. Desire, carnal at that. Love, demands, obsession. No matter how either of you moved your body, it was exciting, making your heart race. Every glance at yourself in the mirror made your body tingle, and every one of his pushes sent waves of excitement up your spine. You wished to have experienced these things with the person you truly loved instead of the hawk watching you from behind.

"I know," he mumbled, his hands driving up from your pussy to your chest, giving your breasts an equal squeeze. Taking in a sharp breath, you held back, instead having Kaeya be the one to groan lowly into your shoulder as you tightened around him. "I'll take so much better care of you than that boy. I can make you your true self, don't you think? You're wasted on everyone but me."

"Just finish it," you breathed heavily, and Kaeya sighed.

"As you wish."

Picking you up by the legs, Kaeya hoisted you up into the air, taking a few steps forward to stand right in front of the mirror. It was a breathtaking sensation to feel his cock carving you out from the dynamic motions, your walls gladly welcoming every inch before confining his member inside. You really could do without a closer look at how his cock slid in and out of you, sloppy sounds and tingling sensations running through you, but it almost made you wonder if you'd be able to experience the same sensations that Kaeya put you through, ever again once this was over.

"Hope you're ready for what you wished for," he reminded you, and you instantly began to realize alarming innuendos in his choice of words and the teasing tone of his voice, struggling in his hold.

"N-Not inside!" you yelled at him, slinging one arm over his head to be the one to tightly grip his face this time. "You can't cum inside!"

"Oh, really?" he taunted you. You squeezing his cheeks together didn't change the fact that he could grin like a Cheshire cat out of fairytales. "Give me one good reason not to."

"I can't bear your baby! I just can't!"

Grinning even wider, Kaeya let you drop a few inches to kiss your nose. "You'll need to do better than that."

Biting your lip, you thought about what he could want to hear from you, eventually realizing the level you'd have to stoop to. A baby would ruin everything, especially if it was Kaeya's baby. Even if things wouldn't turn out the worst way possible, it would still be a lifelong reminder of this ordeal he put you through. Your pride was worth nothing in exchange for the future you always wanted to have.

"P-Please..." you mumbled, the quick pace with which he was ramming into you making it hard to speak. At the same time, it urged you to hurry, as it wouldn't be long now before he'd fulfill the deed inside of you.

"I can't hear you~"

"Please don't cum inside me!"

Halting abruptly, Kaeya looked at the mirror image of you two, thinking for a split second before he resumed the pounding--this time, determined to finish. It was almost like you were hit by thunder, every movement releasing more shocks through you. You were a panting mess, but Kaeya wasn't far from it either. His eye would close halfway as he sunk into pleasure with you, both of you falling deeper and deeper into this hole.

Until it was finally over, your body curving and stretching, Kaeya's grip tightening to hold you throughout your orgasm, fingers digging into your supple thighs. Closing your eyes, you felt like flying, carried by a cloud, away from all the bad things and surrounded by the comforts and excitement that only intimacy could cause. You were almost lost in the orgasm before a part of you recalled the danger that was Kaeya, but much to your relief, when you opened your eyes again, he pushed in deep for the last time before suddenly lifting your up and off his cock.

Spurts of white semen shot through the air, landing on your reflection's stomach almost exactly where it would have landed inside of you. Both of you huffing, exhausted and spent, you watched as it dripped off the slick surface, leaving its stains there rather than inside of you.

Kaeya finally dropped you down, your legs unsteady, but his hold never ceased and kept you up. "Thank you..." you muttered, finding it hard to believe that after all he did, you were still thanking him for not cumming inside. Finding yourself in his arms rather than the ground, you refused the kiss he wanted to plant on your lips, instead turning your cheek, but Kaeya didn't seem to mind.

"I think you owe me something," he whispered into your ear before you felt his teeth bit into your lobe, making you flinch. "I did pull out like you asked me to."

"I owe you nothing, you... you bastard! You fiend! You...!" Your feelings took the upper hand as you heard what he demanded from you now. It was hard not to raise your voice when he dared to tell you about what you owed him after taking you against your will.

Laughing out loud, Kaeya quickly composed himself again, pretending to be hurt. "Ouch. I didn't know you knew these kinds of words."

A sudden rough pull in your hair yanked your head back, your body arching under the force and pressing against his while Kaeya towered over you, never letting his gaze stray from you. "Call me what you want. I don't care what you think, I'm not your friend, remember? I am anything but your stupid, little friend."

This time he took your mouth as he pleased, ramming his lips into yours and slipping his tongue down your throat. When he finally spoke again, his words were nothing but threatening to you, an anxious knot building in your stomach.

"That's why you'll break up with that asshole, you understand?"

"Why would I! Just leave me alone! You had what you wanted!"

"You still don't understand it," Kaeya sighed, releasing your hair briefly before tangling it around his fingers again, pulling you back even further and making you fear your spine would snap. "You are what I want! You belong to me! I was nice this time, but I will change if I must. Break up with him and make it easy for both of you. And then you'll come back to warm my bed, understand?"

Gulping, you put on a brave face, trying to face his stare head-on. This was getting out of control; you couldn't let him win with all his endeavors! No matter how you thought about Kaeya before, this wasn't the man you had come to like and appreciate in the past. He was something, but you could only hope it was still a human.

"And what if I don't?" you asked, using all the courage left inside of you.

"Oh darling, believe me," he laughed, unexpectedly pulling away all of his hands, your body unable to keep itself up and plummeting to the floor. Instant waves of shock and pain hit you, but when he stepped between your legs, you couldn't help but look up to him. How could you have been so wrong about a person you spent so much time with? Who was this man claiming to love you?

"You will do as I say, or everyone will know what kind of slut you really are. Especially your fine boyfriend. Who do you think the people will believe - their charming cavalry captain or some random chick that was seen laughing and hanging around him a lot?"

You opened your mouth to protest, wanting to prove him wrong, wanting to tell him Mondstadt cared about you as much as they did about him. But... was this wrong to assume? Would they really believe your word against his? With a reputation like Kaeya had, would you stand a chance to win against him? You couldn't imagine living a different life than you had so far, so would you be able to deal with the branding of a cheater? Realizing these questions, you closed your mouth again, scrambling to get up and collect your clothes from the ground. You were ready to storm out of the room, just go home and forget about everything that happened but reaching for the doorknob, Kaeya approached you from behind, holding the door shut with his hand.

"Don't hate me too much, okay? I really, really love you, [Name]."

He sounded anxious as he whispered these words against your head, leaving a trail of kisses. How could you believe this? How could you believe any of what he was saying? Just now, he had forced you into a level of intimacy you hadn't been ready for, threatened you, and made demands. And now he came to you, showing these rare moments of vulnerability and insecurity that made you special before all of this went down. What could you still believe about Kaeya?

"This isn't love," you mumbled, twisting and turning the knob to leave, deciding you couldn't listen to his voice anymore.

"You'll come to understand that this is love," Kaeya chuckled. You could hear the bittersweet smile on his lips as he planted one more kiss on top of your shoulder before he pushed himself away, letting you escape into the night.

Only when the cold, fresh air engulfed your heated body could you finally collect your thoughts. Your body ached, and yet, it tingled with every step, remembering you of the pleasure you had experienced through him. Disgusted and appalled by yourself, you made your way back home, crying the whole time, wondering what went wrong.

It was all Kaeya's fault, right? He went mad and did these unspeakable things to you. He was jealous because you had a boyfriend already and rejected him. None of this was your fault... right? But at the same time, would he make these threats come true? Was there really no other way than to break up with your boyfriend? Could you do nothing but obey his demands if you wanted to keep living your life? Was the love he had for you really love?

These questions kept you up all night.

All while Kaeya sipped on his drink, satisfied with himself, studying the image of you he had in his mind and the cum stains on his mirror. Stains he only planned to add to but never get rid of.

Just like you'd never get rid of him.

[ventiskies]

when he accidentally injures you | Xiao, Albedo, Bennett

a/n: hello anon!! im doing well, thank you!! hope you are too !! thank you for giving me the chance to add characters HHHH ive been DYING to write for Xiao, Albedo and Benny so i took the opportunity to! hope you like it !! also,,, this is probably my longest post !! i loved writing this <3

pairing: Xiao x gn! reader, Albedo x gn! reader Bennett x gn! reader

warnings: vague mentions of injury and blood

Xiao

★Xiao and you had been on a stroll, something you casually did together whenever Xiao was in a good mood. the adeptus wasn’t one to get out of the confines of Wangshuu Inn, so every time he does, you cherish it and spend it as if it was your last

★but this particular stroll didn’t go as planned, at all

★the two of you had left Wangshuu Inn in the morning, when the weather had seemed as if it would be sunny the whole morning, but it had betrayed you the moment you had set foot in Minlin, the skies had loomed with darkness and occasional rumbles of thunder

★Xiao could have easily teleported the two of you together, but a sudden attack with a ruin hunter had caused him to get distracted

★he could easily defeat the creation with a simple use of his elemental burst, but you were in the vicinity and he didn’t want you getting injured, despite the chances of hitting you were low, he wasn’t going to take the chance

★he had strictly told you to stay back and out of sight, making use of the terrain to jump and strike at the core with his polearm whenever the hunter was aiming to him, but he should have known you were stubborn

★the moment you had ran into the fight, arrow pointing to the ruin hunter, the said war machine had immediately turned towards you, all four of its arms aiming missiles towards you

★Xiao had been too slow, and when he had realized it was aiming towards you, you had already been sent back flying after the hit

★your name fell on his lips, his eyes widening in anger when he had seen what the creature had done, and without any hesitance Xiao summons his elemental burst and sends the creature falling to pieces

★“y/n,” Xiao mutters, worried that he would be met with the sight of you dead, “y/n, where are you?”

★you gave a weak groan, unable to raise your head after hitting it on the sharp rocks. Xiao made his way towards you, and the rain started pouting

★Xiao knelt down and cradled your head gently, seeing the gash on your head. you were most likely suffering from a concussion as well from the way you were unable to look at him in the eye, and your hands grabbing your forehead as if it had exploded

★his eyes showing evident worry, and this was the first time he had felt so scared

★he knew he was powerful, and he was beginning to regret even taking you out of the safety of the Inn. this shouldn't have happened, he was with you because he wanted to protect you,

★and here he was being the cause of your injury

★“y/n, can you hear me?” he asked, and when you hissed the moment he placed a gentle hand on your head, he curses lightly, unable to keep himself calm as he always had anymore, “hold on,”

★Xiao had lived for years and had suffered watching deaths and injuries of the people he had been close with since he had became the adeptus of Liyue, but for once, he had felt a different type of hurt when you had been injured this time

★because this was his fault; what if it had happened again?

★he had teleported the two of you back to Wangshuu Inn, and had asked Verr Goldet to help you just because he was afraid of hurting you further

★and she knew more than to question what happened, especially after Xiao had told her with the weakest voice she has ever heard him use, and pleading eyes to take care of you.

★when you had healed completely, you noticed Xiao had distanced himself from you more than when you had both met the first time, and it had worried you to no end

★it had came to a point where he would disappear whenever you tried to search for him at the balcony, and you were getting upset that he was running away from you because of the accident that was caused by your stubbornness; and the fact that you knew Xiao blamed himself had only made you more guilty

★”Xiao,” you gently said, walking outside with a bowl of his favorite almond tofu, “I miss you,”

★he had to contain himself to avoid disappearing on you again after he heard the words. Xiao wasn’t much of an emotional person, but the memories from the accident had left him afraid of getting close to you again, in fear that he would hurt you once more

★but when he had met your glossy eyes and saw the pained expression you held, he knew that it was only going to be worse is he had avoided you

★”y/n-” Xiao started, but you had only dropped the almond tofu and ran into his arms, hugging him tight as if you were afraid to let him go

★and (with reluctance), Xiao had hugged you back, twice as hard

★it would take time for him to get back to his usual self and trust himself to go out and adventure with you again, but for him, you would wait your lifetime.

Albedo

★An experiment going wrong was a part of alchemy. It was something Albedo would expect to happen fifty percent of the time he conducts something for the first time

★He has gotten a handful of injuries from it that he had sometimes forgotten that people outside of the realm of alchemy wouldn't know what it would be like to expect a burn or scars after the first test

★So of course, sometimes even the smartest people could be careless

★Albedo had brought you to his lab in Dragonspine, claiming that he had found a rare plant and wanted to see if it was able to withstand heat

★Putting it in a flask, he had placed it on a test tube holder and your curious eyes had caught sight of the glowing pink tube

★“What’s this?” you stepped closer to inspect the glowing flask, and Albedo wordlessly looks at you with a fond smile. your curious gaze at his work had always made him feel happy; you truly were endearing

★Albedo turns on the burner, and the moment the fire had hit the flask, the substance had instantly exploded, causing you to recoil back and grab at your face when the substance had burned your face

★instantly, Albedo had abandoned his failed test and attended to you, trying to pry your hands away from your face

★“My love, I’m so sorry,” he says gently, trying to see the damage that the explosion has gave you, “please look at me,”

★you felt tears well in your eyes, the burns on your cheeks combining with the coldness of the snow stinging your face

★when Albedo had successfully pried your hands away , he grabbed them gently and looked at you, “we- we need to see the deaconess,” he mutters to himself, feeling his heart ache seeing you holding back tears, never in his life had he regretted conducting an experiment so badly;

★he had wished he was able to take the pain away from you, he absolutely despised seeing you so hurt

★after you had healed, Albedo would make a rule that you weren’t ever allowed in the premises of his laboratory ever again, and that you were banned from joining him whenever he was conducting experiments

★it had hurt you when Albedo had adamantly decided on it, but you knew that it would only hurt him more if you tried to fight him about it

★he was still blaming himself for the incident; despite him knowing that errors were completely common in alchemy

★his greatest fear was hurting you, and if he was given a choice, he would rather have you far away as possible from anything that could lead to potential harm

★(and that especially meant that when the time comes and he loses control and destroys Mond, he hopes you would be far away from him as possible, too)

Bennett

★Bennett knew he was bad luck, he knew that was mostly the reason there wasn't anyone on his team. no one wanted to get hurt and gain nothing on an adventure. no one wanted to bring a bunch of medical supplies for when an accident that was bound to happen, happens

★no one but you

★you were the only member in Bennett’s team; you were a duo. you didn’t wield a vision, but that didn't make Bennett think of you any less, in fact, he thought you were the bravest person ever for being just a feet away from him outside of Mond, and now you were a team member of his

★injuries were common for you. there would always be some sort of scratch or bleeding whenever you went out on an adventure with the pyro vision holder. if there wasn’t a monster encounter, the two of you would accidentally trip and fall into a lake

★but when the latter happens, Bennett would have a fire for the two of you, and settle in an empty (at least, you hope was) hilichurl camp nearby to warm up in

★it was the norm now, and despite Bennett wanting you to just choose another team because he couldn't handle seeing you in pain from his luck, you had always reassured him that the unexpected turns of events because of his luck was just what you had loved about adventure, and you always trusted him to take care of you whenever something like that happened

★but of course, it was only a matter of time until it was Bennett himself who had hurt you

★you were both fighting a cryo abyss mage, the bastard’s protective shield already broken by Bennett’s elemental skill, causing the creature to start crawling on the ground pathetically

★you were sure its health had already decreased a significant amount that one slice could kill it off instantly, and you had wanted to give the final blow

★but Benny seemed to have a different idea

★the moment Bennett had saw you coming, it had been too late for him to stop, because the same moment you had ran towards the abyss mage, he had raised his sword and sliced the creature hard to the point that his sword had accidentally sliced your stomach as well

★thankfully, your clothes were thick enough that the cut hadn’t been deep enough to get stitches, but it still hurt so badly that you had fallen to the floor, clutching your stomach

★“y/n, what happened?!” he asked, too worried to remember that it had been him who did it, “are you okay?!- wait, no, that was a stupid question, let me see,”

★Bennett was an excellent team leader, but sometimes, he could be a little oblivious

★he gently lays you on his lap, taking out supplies from his belt. he had saw a glimpse of red, so he takes out towels to wipe the blood

★he had gently asked if he could lift your shirt, and when you had weakly nodded, he assessed the damage

★and that was when he had saw the burns by your cut

★burns. the abyss mage was a cryo one, and there wasn't any source of fire where you were but him

★Bennett felt his breath hitch, hands holding the towel clenching in fear. what had he done?

★“no, no, no,” he says in slight panic; this was exactly what he was afraid would happen, “no, no, y/n I’m so sorry. I was supposed to protect you,” his voice broke, gently pressing the towel on your wound to soak up the blood, and when he heard you hiss in pain, he felt tears well in his eyes, “I’m so sorry...”

★he knew the cut wasn’t deep, and you were going to be okay, but the mere thought that the fact you couldn't move and were in pain was because of his doing had caused Bennett to be unable to focus

★you were taken to Barbara immediately, Bennett carrying you bridal style the whole way back (he had been silent, while you had tried to start a conversation with lighthearted banter with him, he had only given you a half hearted laugh before focusing on his journey back) and was healed with a simple swish of the deaconess’ hands

★but afterwards, Bennett had started to spend less time outside of Mondstadt, saying that he had preferred to read at the library with you, and that was extremely unlike of him

★you knew it was because he was blaming himself for what had happened, so you had to let him know that you were fine, and that you knew that it was bound to happen anyways

★It would take a lot of reassurance for Benny to agree to even step a foot outside again, but in the end, it would be worth it to see his adventurer spirit once more

[ptergwen]

I think your requests are open (I didn’t see anything that said otherwise but I suck at this app lol) but I was wondering if you could write a peter x reader (likely college-age) where they have an academic rivalry and just tease each other a lot and lots of fluff and shit? It can be an established relationship or like a friends/rivals to lovers or really whatever you want. Sorry if this is super specific! Anyways, I love your writing, it always cheers me up :)

friends close, enemies closer

ik this is cherry BUT i had to

w/c: 1.6k

warnings: swearing and hints of suggestiveness

a/n: thank you my love ! i’m actually obsessed with this concept so i’m super super happy with how it came out n i hope you are too :,)

-

you wipe sweat from your upper lip, peeking at peter’s laptop screen. he’s more than halfway through the paper your english professor tasked your class to write. he looks to have not a worry in the world as he continues to type away. growling at this, you dive right back into work.

you’ve been at each other’s throats since the beginning of classes when you both wanted the same spot. first row, middle seat. peter had officially claimed it in the end. you’d flopped down next to him and his irritating smirk.

the dude is smart, you’ll give him that. his knowledge of literature is almost as impressive as yours. almost. he raises his hand any chance he gets, effectively stealing your thunder if you dare to participate.

peter is also a bit of a people pleaser. he’ll chat up your professor at office hours, fascinate her with his hot takes on things or stupid anecdotes. you often get so annoyed that you bail before you even attempt to woo her yourself. the sight of you storming off is something peter thoroughly enjoys.

bottom line is, golden boy peter parker never loses. underneath the sweet, innocent persona he hides behind is a ruthless fighter. you’re determined to end his winning streak, thus sparking your ongoing competition to be better than the other in every way possible.

this time, your goal is to meet your ten page paper requirements the fastest. they aren’t due for weeks, but you and peter are banging them out in one sitting.

you’re hauled up in the campus library, sat side by side despite your wishes for peter to get his own table. he’d insisted on sharing with you. why, you haven’t a clue. you can’t stand him, and he isn’t the fondest of you either.

that’s what you tell yourselves, at least.

“progress report?” peter requests from you. “page three. you?” you grunt back. he props his feet up on the table, arms flexed behind his head. “finishing up page seven. you already knew that, though... creeper.”

god, you can hear the shit-eating grin in his voice.

you glance over at peter, doing your best to ignore how his biceps bulge under his hoodie. nerdy little parker is ripped.

“worry about yours, i’ll worry about mine. thanks.” you reread the sentence you wrote prior to peter’s chiseled body distracting you. “oh, the irony,” he sighs and nudges the edge of your laptop with his sneaker. scowling, you shift the screen away from him.

about a minute of silence goes by until it’s unfortunately filled by peter. he stretches his arms out, finally removing his dirty shoes from the table.

“i’m gonna take five. maybe, you could use it as an opportunity to catch up to me,” peter cockily suggests. “spare me your charity, peter. i’m doing just fine without it,” you retort, letting out a scoff. peter raises his hands in defense. “if you say so, princess.”

here you were, naively thinking peter couldn’t become any more insufferable than he already is.

you slam your laptop shut and jab a finger at his chest. “jesus christ, how many times do i have to ask you not to call me that?” a patronizing pout adorns peter’s lips. “aw, i love it when you get all bossy on me. so cute.”

he grabs your hand still on his chest, pressing a light kiss to the back of it. you’re quick to wipe it off on his hoodie. nevertheless, there’s an undeniable heat rushing to your cheeks.

“well, i hate it when you call me princess,” you deadpan. peter tilts his head to the side. “do you?”

of course not. deep down, you live for the fuzzy feeling you get whenever the nickname slips from his tongue. oh, his tongue and the things it can do. poking out as he focuses hard on a question, running across his pink lips…

you have to reel it in. this is peter parker you’re fantasizing about, your mortal enemy.

“yes. i hate it, and i hate you,” you unsuccessfully convince the both of you. “no, you don’t,” peter rasps, darkened eyes scanning over your features. his stare is intense and intimidating. he grasps your chin between his thumb and index finger, slowly leaning in closer.

he’s not going to stop until you make him. you don’t want to, but you will.

you shove his shoulder, dragging your laptop towards you again. “on second thought, i could use that catch up. you’re not gonna throw me off my game, parker.”

your rejection seems to disappoint peter. his expression matches that of a kicked puppy, brows furrowed and arms crossed over his chest.

“we’ll see,” he murmurs and swings a leg over his chair. “alright, i’m gonna run to the caf. you want anything?”

he’s offering to buy you food now? what’s his angle here?

“i’d say yes, but i’m afraid you’ll poison it somehow,” you half joke. peter hops to his feet. “don’t give me any ideas,” he warns, snatching his backpack off the floor. “i’ll just surprise you.”

although you’re curious what his mystery snack choice for you would be, you can’t accept. you’d be going against your entire dynamic.

would that be so terrible?

absolutely.

you wave him off towards the double doors. “i’m good, peter. really. i’m not that hungry, anyway.” shaking his head, peter throws a backpack strap onto one shoulder. “y/n, your stomach’s been grumbling for the last hour. you gotta eat.”

he’s not wrong. you’re starving, but you’ve been too preoccupied by your essay to break for dinner.

“fine, surprise me,” you concede. peter flashes you a smile, this one void of its usual condescendence. “i’ll be back. try not to miss me too much,” he calls as he walks backwards to the library doors. “i won’t. shoo already,” you dismiss him, a laugh falling from your lips.

peter winks at you, then disappears into the night. you’re left with a serious case of butterflies and a certain freckle faced know-it-all on your mind.

that’s a problem.

you’ve managed to get another page done when peter reappears. he sits back down and slides a bag across the table, you closing your laptop. you dig into it to figure out what he picked for you. you’re not too pleased with his selection, however.

“oh, yummy. vomit in a cup,” you announce as you hold a green smoothie in your hand. peter reaches over and pats your thigh. “it’s good for you. drink up, princess.” you slap him away. “hard pass. i’d rather you have gotten me nothing.”

narrowing his eyes, peter pulls two cookies wrapped in a napkin from his pocket. “i’m guessing you don’t want these either? more for me, then.”

they’re chocolate chip and m&m, your favorite in the cafeteria. they just came out of the oven, so they’re still warm.

“how… how did you know i…” you trail off, peter setting the cookies in front of you. he offers you a lopsided grin. “i know a lot about you, believe it or not. i pay attention.” you surprise yourself by returning his smile. “thank you, peter. how much do i owe you?”

“nah, it’s on me,” peter assures you. “enjoy.” pushing aside your unappealing drink, you seize the cookies instead. “you have to eat, too. let me at least split these with you.” there’s a beat before peter nods. “fair enough.”

that results in you two munching on your cookies while pretending to write your papers. you’re sneaking glances at each other whenever the other isn’t looking, in reality.

once it’s about time for the library to close, you’re on the verge of passing out. peter is concluding his essay until he hears a thump from your side of the table.

he finds you with your cheek smushed against your keyboard and hitting random letters, snores escaping you.

chuckling to himself, peter places a hand on your shoulder. “hey, y/n?” he speaks in a hushed tone. you awake with a gasp, drool pooling at the corners of your mouth. “easy there, princess. it’s only me.” he rubs circles on your back, and it’s oddly comforting.

“keep doing that,” you purr, momentarily forgetting how much you’re supposed to despise peter. he lets his fingers dance across the exposed skin of your lower back. “we should probably head out. it’s kinda late,” peter decides.

you sit up, bones aching and eyes forced open. “not yet. have to beat you first.” you start to delete the gibberish you accidentally typed. peter cups your cheek to turn your head towards him, your movements halting. “this one’s a tie. you did good, y/n/n,” he coos. “finish the rest another day.”

“why’re you being so nice to me?” you nearly whisper. peter uses his thumb to swipe the drool from your lips. “‘cuz i care about you. i might not show it, but i do,” he admits with the hint of a smile. “besides, i need you… for the, uh, the healthy competition.”

laughing softly, you twist his hoodie strings around your fingers and tug. “your intentions are pure as always. sure that’s all you need me for?” peter’s gaze darts to your lips, then your eyes. “we’ll see,” he repeats.

rivalry be damned.

“mm. i care about you too, parker. thanks again for tonight,” you hum. a blush coats peter’s cheeks, even in the dim library lighting. his sweet and innocent side might truly exist. “no problem.” peter links your pinkie with his, the gesture giving you that fuzzy feeling. “i’ll walk you back to your dorm?”

you lean over and kiss his pinkie intertwined in yours.

“lead the way.”