#I might do more later but this is all I can think of right now
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whateveriwant · 3 days ago
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Annoying Things the 141 Do
Price
Never cleans the sink well after he shaves. Every time you go in the bathroom after he’s trimmed his beard, it’s like walking into a crime scene of a hamster massacre
Always manages to load the dishwasher wrong (because, yes, there is a right way and a wrong way to do it, John)
Asks you to wait for him to get home so you can watch your shows together, but then as soon as you start the first episode, he falls asleep beside you
Smokes his cigars inside sometimes. I don’t care that you sprayed air freshener afterwards, sir. Now the whole house smells like spring meadow and shit!
Is incapable of closing the door behind himself?? At least, that appears to be the case since he’s always leaving your door wide open even though you ask him to shut it when he goes
Doesn’t like throwing things out because he’ll “find a use for it one day”. Even if that day ever does come, I think he has a better chance of finding Atlantis than finding that scrap piece of wood he saved four years ago
Ghost
Turns the TV on and then just… walks away??? And if you try to change it to something else, he grumbles “I was watchin’ tha’” when he comes back
Drinks milk/juice/etc. straight out of the carton. Mr Simon “Patient Zero” Riley might not see the problem with this, but I think the rest of us would agree that is diabolical behavior
Leaves his wet towel on the floor after he showers even though the towel rack is right? there?
Hates asking for help even when he has no clue what he’s doing. Like, sure, I get wanting to fix things yourself. However, I’d rather spend $100 on a simple repair than $1000 on a full replacement after he breaks the thing even more
Puts his phone calls on speaker whenever possible. While this can have its merits sometimes (you get firsthand news of Gaz’s engagement!), most of the time it feels like a nuisance (do you really need to hear Soap talk about his hemorrhoids?)
MANSPREADERRRR! This man cannot sit like a civilized being to save his life. He claims he sits like that because his balls need to breathe, and to that I say good luck trying to breathe after I karate chop you in the throat :))))
Soap
Cuts his toenails in bed, which wouldn’t necessarily be an issue if he didn’t accidentally leave one or two rogue clippings that stab you in the side later when you’re trying to get comfortable
Forgets to put the toilet seat down when he gets up in the middle of the night to pee – that or he pisses all over the seat in the dark. Either way, prepare to have wet cheeks the next time you sit on the toilet
Whenever he doesn’t feel like doing the laundry, he just buys a new set of whatever’s dirty (that’s how he ended up with 100 pairs of socks and 200 pairs of underwear)
Talks nonstop through every show/movie you try to watch. Good luck getting more than five minutes of uninterrupted runtime next to this yapper
Apparently, doesn’t understand what “one bite” means? Whenever he asks you for a bite of your food, he always ends up taking five or six
Also, apparently doesn’t know how to chew with his mouth closed? Like, I’m glad you’re enjoying your meal, Johnny, but can you enjoy it without speckling it all over the table and my face?
Gaz
Two words: bathroom hog. I hope you don’t like taking hot showers or having more than a 6x6 inch square of counter space for your stuff, because after Kyle’s done with his 30-step beauty routine, there’s little of either left
Never knows what he wants to eat for dinner, and no matter what you suggest, he never thinks it sounds good
Has the gall to chastise you for your screen time even though he’s just as bad as you, if not worse (because you being on your phone before bed is so much worse than him playing video games for nine hours straight, right?)
Rests his feet on the couch/bed/coffee table while wearing shoes. It doesn’t matter if they’re brand new or beaten up; take your damn shoes off the furniture, sir!
Never writes down the shopping list because he’ll “remember everything”. (Newsflash: he does not remember everything, which means cue taking a second trip to the store)
Watches one documentary and thinks he’s an expert on the subject. You can have studied a thing for years, can present him with a bunch of rock solid facts and reputable sources, and he’ll hit you with a “Well, actually ☝️🤓” and then proceed to give the most nonsensical take ever
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cosmicbyeol · 20 hours ago
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𝙖 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙖𝙨𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙤𝙧 : 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙖𝙜𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙪𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛
take this however it resonates.
calm down and take deep breaths.
pick an image!! each corresponds with a pile.
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♥︎ pile 1. Luther – Kendrick Lamar & SZA
hey…
all though you’re strong… there’s no doubt about that, we have to choose and pick our battles correctly. we can win for sure. don’t get me wrong. but there’s consequences if we choose the wrong one. not everyone is worth our spark, not everyone is worth our fire. and who do we look like wasting it. it sure as hell ain’t us. that’s for sure.
we’ve worked so hard to get were we are. everyone who says “working hard or hardly working” irks me. but alas, we should take a break. we need to take a break. it’s so close. the sweet sweet time off. it’s time to sit back and relax. take that time off work. it’s time to treat yourself, we have the right of way.
we’ve got everything that we’ve ever wished for and maybe more further in the future. we have all these things and gifts. I think we should share them. what do you think about that? everyone needs help every once and a while. but be careful with who you give it to. some people could drain you for all our worth and then we’d be left with nothing.
we’ll learn to use our gifts a little later, you’ll develop the energy to be the light around people. you’re energy might be in you now, it’s just a little hidden. but once you get the hang off it and tap into it, people will feel like they can do anything when they’re around you. you make them feel like they’re strong and powerful too. but again make sure you’re around the right people.
you have a select few or a small group of people that are good for you. you love them and they love you too. some celebration is in order. maybe an anniversary or an accomplishment is coming up or in the future. it’s good to celebrate closeness or a bond. you’d do anything for them in your power, and they should be able to do the same.
it’s okay to stand your ground. it’s okay to be outspoken, especially if it’s something you believe. especially if it’s about you and your wellbeing. I just want to see you win. you have the tools and your soul in your corner. fight for yourself with your whole being. you’re ready. stand up for yourself. You’ve got this!!
it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. and it’s okay to tell someone about it. someone you trust, someone who won’t judge you.
♥︎ pile 2. 30 for 30 – SZA & Kendrick Lamar
hey boo! ,
it’s confirmed. we’re not for everyone. and that’s okay. people are meant to be in and out of your life. we have the strength and power to overcome anything. why would we settle for less huh? we don’t need someone that’s going to treat us like shit, we don’t need someone that wouldn’t tend to us and our needs. we don’t need someone that won’t do what we would do for them. we’re stronger than that. it’s been put in our heads that we deserve below the minimum. we’ll never be at peace.
we should should learn to love yourself and our being before going to someone else to seek what we need. find that feeling you need in yourself first, before you give it to someone else. learn your worth know that you’re worth more than anything you could imagine. you’re worth more than that person you think is treating you right. KNOW YOUR WORTH DON’T YOU DARE SETTLE FOR LESS!!
learn how to love you!! take yourself out on a solo date. learn about yourself. learning and knowing yourself can take years, but at least you have somewhere to start. you’ll feel a little less lost. learning about ourself is the best thing we can do. it’s the best thing we could do for us and the people around us that truly care about us.
you don’t have to be with a partner or a significant other to have a good time. go out with your friends. go have that girls/boys/theys night. celebrate finding yourself and dumping that piece of trash. I know they didn’t let you go out. treat yourself.
with this new mindset you’ll do wonders. you won’t ever settle for less again. promise you’ll stand up for us, make more buzz and be a boss. never settle for less than your worth. WIPE THEM DOWN. ( but don’t go to jail! )
♥︎ pile 3. miracle – wayv
hey bestie ,
we need to learn to love ourself. and we need to learn about ourselves too. how else can we ascend? how else can we exist in that plane? how can we peacefully open our eye? we need to learn about us before we can start our journey, we can’t open doors if they’re locked. we can’t enter windows either. no hidden doors will work. “dreams can take you far, find out who you really are”
I’m gonna hold your hand when I say this, but to open these doors we can’t hang on to everybody. we can’t hang on to certain places or people. you can’t grow in a place with no water and no lights. you need to make that decision for yourself. no one else can make it for you. only you can give yourself water and light. and maybe plant food.
you definitely have the strength to grow and take yourself to a whole new level. you have the power to transcend all the things you deem “meaningless”, to reach that orbit. to replenish your energy and grow countless of times. it’s something more than psychical for you. you could even get the the point where you don’t even need to open eyes to feel and see things.
this definitely isn’t a journey you can quite get through alone. but most of it will be done within you. but as long as you have someone in your corner and someone that knows about this kind of thing. but maybe finding a like minded person or people can do you some good 😌. you won’t regret it. you guys might be on to something.
don’t get too deep in that ascending and bigger than life feeling. keep yourself grounded, just because you’ve reached this state doesn’t mean it can be taken away from you. especially if you start to abuse it. this feeling can cause some miscommunication in your circle you’ve made. it might cause a rift, but sometimes not everything is meant to be. this miscommunication could lead to you to question if your ideologies and feelings are the same as your circle. you might need to take a step back and see if your circle is for you.
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signanothername · 3 days ago
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I– I need to ask.
HOW DO YOU DO THIS?? Like, share your thoughts with everyone. Because I've been working on my universe for about three years now, AND I STILL FEEL LIKE IT'S NOT READY. At the same time, I’m still afraid to share these things...
So. How do you do it?D:
Alright my answer will seem a bit harsh and/or cruel, but know that I mean it in the most kind, genuine, and gentle way possible, i just don’t know how to word it any other way
With that in mind
Anon, you’re never going to be ready to share it, and the fear will always linger, you will never be 100% confident of what you share
And that’s ok
Again, I know that i make it seem super easy, but I promise that I’m just as afraid to share my ideas as anyone else (I’m a perfectionist, and that also contributes to my fear to share things)
It’s just, I think of it this way
I have an idea, and I got two choices
Either
1- I keep overthinking it, and succumb to my worries and fears when it comes to my idea, and keep my ideas with me, never to see the light of day
Or
2- I acknowledge that I’m afraid, acknowledge that my idea might not be perfect or ready, acknowledge that there might be flaws that I will probably notice later and even feel stupid about it, and still share my ideas anyway regardless of the voice in my head telling me to “wait a little more”
I usually go for choice number 2
The art and writing process is complicated, it’s so not easy to write something and feel ready to share it, no matter how much time it takes, you will never ever feel truly and utterly ready to share it, you’ll have that worry in your mind that maybe it’s stupid, or incomplete, or inconsistent or whatever else
And guess what? Sometimes, the worried voice in your head is completely right
But what matters is how you tackle it
Even if you share an idea, remember that you can always change your mind about it, you can absolutely go back and say, I don’t like that idea anymore and so I’ll remove/ change/ replace it
Ideas are never set in stone, you change and grow as a person as so do your ideas, they grow and change with you as you learn more and more, and sometimes they don’t, they don’t change at all, and that’s ok too
You can’t keep worrying about whether the story or idea you’re working on is ready or complete, because all you’re going to do is just walk around in circles and end up never sharing anything at all
It’s ok to be worried, but you can’t let your worries control you, of course, it’s not easy to ignore your worries, but it’s better than feeling stuck with your ideas
I myself do deal with these worries a lot, most of the time i just tell my brain “shut up” and share my ideas anyway, other times my worries do get the best of me and i tend to keep some ideas to myself
But sharing your ideas is actually essential for you to actually be able to work on them and refine them, because people might start asking questions or giving really good feedback that you actually sit with yourself to think about
But what if they ask you a question and you don’t know the answer to it? That’s actually a good thing, it’ll make you sit down and think of how to connect the dots and answer it, not only does it mean you’re actually making progress on your story/ideas, but these kinda questions help you understand different perspectives and by that, you learn and grow in your writing
It’s ok to be worried and to keep ideas to yourself sometimes, but don’t let them fester, because believe me, eventually your passion is gonna burn out because you kept overthinking it to the point it became just a worry than something you enjoy doing
In fact, to give you a bit of motivation, imma actually share one of the ideas I never shared cause I was afraid it’ll be a bit stupid and out of character
And I’m very worried about sharing it, but fuck my worry I do what I want
Remember when I mentioned Dream received one gift from Nightmare, and never received anything after? My idea for that gift was an echo flower he gave Dream, and it echoes one thing “I love you”
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There, I shared it ouuughh the stress of sharing it is killing me actually, but I mean I can keep worrying about it forever, or actually share it and refine it later if I wanted, I choose the latter
And your ideas are never going to be perfect anyway, but you can improve them with time, even after sharing them
That’s all I do really shzggz
So go out there and start sharing anon, fuck anxiety, you can do whatever you want, you’re unstoppable
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bearforcecaptions · 3 days ago
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The lights flickered again.
They always did when someone new arrived. That soft, pulsing glow that ran through the walls, like the place itself was exhaling in anticipation. I leaned against the squat rack, waiting. I didn’t know how long I’d been here—days, weeks, years? It didn’t matter anymore. All I knew was that when the lights pulsed like that, someone else was about to walk through those doors, confused and scared, their life about to be rewritten.
This time, the man who stumbled in couldn’t have been more out of place. Middle-aged, thin, with the kind of stooped posture that came from decades of working hunched over desks or shelves. He was wearing a gray cardigan over a button-down shirt, neatly pressed khakis, and polished loafers that echoed slightly on the gym’s smooth floors. He carried a leather satchel in one hand, clutching it like a lifeline, his wide eyes darting across the mirrored walls and rows of gleaming equipment. He looked like he should have been walking into a library or an academic conference, not… here.
“What on earth?” he muttered, his voice low, trembling. He stood frozen for a moment, taking in the scene—the endless rows of dumbbells and machines, the clinking of weights as the other men in the gym worked through their routines, completely oblivious to his arrival. The mirrors reflected his thin, nervous frame a thousand times over, distorting him until he seemed swallowed up by the space.
I pushed off the rack and crossed my arms, watching him. It was always the same—panic first, then denial, and finally, acceptance. But everyone fought it differently.
“Hey,” I said, keeping my tone casual. “You lost?”
He spun around, startled, his satchel swinging slightly. He was older than most of the people who showed up here—maybe mid-forties, with thinning brown hair streaked with gray at the temples. He wore wire-rimmed glasses that made his pale blue eyes seem even more anxious. His face was lined, but not unpleasant, though it had that soft, academic quality that suggested he’d spent more time reading than living.
“I… yes, I think so,” he said, his voice shaky. “I was just leaving work, and I—” He paused, frowning. “This isn’t right. Where am I?”
“You’re in the gym,” I said simply, gesturing around us. “You didn’t mean to end up here, did you?”
“No, I…” He trailed off, looking around again. “I was leaving the library, locking up for the night. I stepped out the back door, and then… I was here.” His fingers tightened around the strap of his satchel. “This doesn’t make any sense.”
“It never does,” I said. “But you might as well put that bag down. You’re not going anywhere.”
He frowned, clearly not understanding. “What do you mean, ‘not going anywhere’? There’s always a way out.”
“Not here,” I said, leaning back against the rack again. “Every door leads back to the gym. You can try them all if you want, but it won’t make a difference.”
His mouth opened to argue, but he stopped himself, looking at me like he thought I might be messing with him. I didn’t bother explaining further. It was always easier to let them figure it out for themselves.
He did. For hours, or maybe it was minutes—it was hard to tell. He tried every door, every hallway, every nook and cranny of the gym, even peering behind some of the machines like there might be a hidden escape route. Each time, he ended up right back where he started. I watched him, arms crossed, waiting for the inevitable moment when he’d realize there was nothing else to do.
Eventually, he slumped down on a nearby bench, his satchel abandoned on the floor. His cardigan was hanging off one shoulder now, his button-down damp with sweat from all the pacing. He looked defeated, his glasses slipping down his nose.
“I don’t understand,” he said, mostly to himself. “This is impossible.”
“It’s not about understanding,” I said, walking over. “It’s about accepting. There’s nothing to do here except work out. Sooner or later, you’ll start.”
He gave me a sharp look, like I’d insulted him. “I don’t belong here,” he said, his voice firming slightly. “I’m a librarian. I haven’t set foot in a gym in years.”
I shrugged. “You’re here now. And there’s nothing else to do. So unless you want to sit and stare at the walls forever…”
He didn’t answer, just looked down at his hands, his thin fingers twitching slightly. After a long pause, he stood up, walking over to one of the machines with a hesitant, almost resigned air. He stared at it like it was some alien contraption, his head tilted slightly. Then, cautiously, he sat down and gripped the handles.
The first push was awkward, his arms trembling as he tried to move the weight. He was clearly out of his element, his movements shaky and uncoordinated. But he kept at it, his jaw tightening with determination. He didn’t look at me again, too focused on the machine.
The changes started slowly. At first, it was just his posture—his shoulders squared as he worked through his reps, the slump in his back disappearing. His movements became smoother, more confident, as though his body was remembering something it had never known. His arms, once thin and weak, began to fill out, the first hints of muscle appearing beneath his pale skin.
His cardigan slipped off completely at some point, forgotten on the floor, and his button-down shirt started to cling to his torso, the fabric tightening as his chest began to expand. He frowned, tugging at it absently, but he didn’t stop. His khakis were next, the legs stretching taut against his thighs, which were visibly thickening with each push. By the time he moved on to the free weights, the khakis had morphed into gray Nike sweatpants, snug around his growing legs.
I watched as he grabbed a set of dumbbells, his hands gripping the metal with more confidence than before. His biceps swelled as he curled them, the veins in his forearms becoming more pronounced. His button-down had somehow transformed into a tight maroon T-shirt that clung to his chest and shoulders, the sleeves straining to contain his growing arms. The hem rode up slightly, revealing a set of abs that hadn’t been there an hour ago.
He paused mid-rep, frowning as he caught his reflection in the mirror. “Is it just me, or do I look… different?” he asked, glancing at me.
I smirked. “You’re changing. Everyone does.”
“What?” His voice wavered slightly, but he didn’t sound as panicked as I’d expected. He turned back to the mirror, his eyes narrowing as he examined himself. “I mean, I do look better, don’t I?”
“Sure,” I said. “But that’s not all that’s happening.”
He didn’t seem to hear me. He flexed his arm experimentally, a grin spreading across his face as he admired the way his bicep bulged. “I haven’t looked like this since college,” he said, his tone lighter, almost excited. “No, I’ve never looked like this.”
The lights flickered again.
They always did when someone new arrived. That soft, pulsing glow that ran through the walls, like the place itself was exhaling in anticipation. I leaned against the squat rack, waiting. I didn’t know how long I’d been here—days, weeks, years? It didn’t matter anymore. All I knew was that when the lights pulsed like that, someone else was about to walk through those doors, confused and scared, their life about to be rewritten.
This time, the man who stumbled in couldn’t have been more out of place. Middle-aged, thin, with the kind of stooped posture that came from decades of working hunched over desks or shelves. He was wearing a gray cardigan over a button-down shirt, neatly pressed khakis, and polished loafers that echoed slightly on the gym’s smooth floors. He carried a leather satchel in one hand, clutching it like a lifeline, his wide eyes darting across the mirrored walls and rows of gleaming equipment. He looked like he should have been walking into a library or an academic conference, not… here.
“What on earth?” he muttered, his voice low, trembling. He stood frozen for a moment, taking in the scene—the endless rows of dumbbells and machines, the clinking of weights as the other men in the gym worked through their routines, completely oblivious to his arrival. The mirrors reflected his thin, nervous frame a thousand times over, distorting him until he seemed swallowed up by the space.
I pushed off the rack and crossed my arms, watching him. It was always the same—panic first, then denial, and finally, acceptance. But everyone fought it differently.
“Hey,” I said, keeping my tone casual. “You lost?”
He spun around, startled, his satchel swinging slightly. He was older than most of the people who showed up here—maybe mid-forties, with thinning brown hair streaked with gray at the temples. He wore wire-rimmed glasses that made his pale blue eyes seem even more anxious. His face was lined, but not unpleasant, though it had that soft, academic quality that suggested he’d spent more time reading than living.
“I… yes, I think so,” he said, his voice shaky. “I was just leaving work, and I—” He paused, frowning. “This isn’t right. Where am I?”
“You’re in the gym,” I said simply, gesturing around us. “You didn’t mean to end up here, did you?”
“No, I…” He trailed off, looking around again. “I was leaving the library, locking up for the night. I stepped out the back door, and then… I was here.” His fingers tightened around the strap of his satchel. “This doesn’t make any sense.”
“It never does,” I said. “But you might as well put that bag down. You’re not going anywhere.”
He frowned, clearly not understanding. “What do you mean, ‘not going anywhere’? There’s always a way out.”
“Not here,” I said, leaning back against the rack again. “Every door leads back to the gym. You can try them all if you want, but it won’t make a difference.”
His mouth opened to argue, but he stopped himself, looking at me like he thought I might be messing with him. I didn’t bother explaining further. It was always easier to let them figure it out for themselves.
He did. For hours, or maybe it was minutes—it was hard to tell. He tried every door, every hallway, every nook and cranny of the gym, even peering behind some of the machines like there might be a hidden escape route. Each time, he ended up right back where he started. I watched him, arms crossed, waiting for the inevitable moment when he’d realize there was nothing else to do.
Eventually, he slumped down on a nearby bench, his satchel abandoned on the floor. His cardigan was hanging off one shoulder now, his button-down damp with sweat from all the pacing. He looked defeated, his glasses slipping down his nose.
“I don’t understand,” he said, mostly to himself. “This is impossible.”
“It’s not about understanding,” I said, walking over. “It’s about accepting. There’s nothing to do here except work out. Sooner or later, you’ll start.”
He gave me a sharp look, like I’d insulted him. “I don’t belong here,” he said, his voice firming slightly. “I’m a librarian. I haven’t set foot in a gym in years.”
I shrugged. “You’re here now. And there’s nothing else to do. So unless you want to sit and stare at the walls forever…”
He didn’t answer, just looked down at his hands, his thin fingers twitching slightly. After a long pause, he stood up, walking over to one of the machines with a hesitant, almost resigned air. He stared at it like it was some alien contraption, his head tilted slightly. Then, cautiously, he sat down and gripped the handles.
The first push was awkward, his arms trembling as he tried to move the weight. He was clearly out of his element, his movements shaky and uncoordinated. But he kept at it, his jaw tightening with determination. He didn’t look at me again, too focused on the machine.
The changes started slowly. At first, it was just his posture—his shoulders squared as he worked through his reps, the slump in his back disappearing. His movements became smoother, more confident, as though his body was remembering something it had never known. His arms, once thin and weak, began to fill out, the first hints of muscle appearing beneath his pale skin.
His cardigan slipped off completely at some point, forgotten on the floor, and his button-down shirt started to cling to his torso, the fabric tightening as his chest began to expand. He frowned, tugging at it absently, but he didn’t stop. His khakis were next, the legs stretching taut against his thighs, which were visibly thickening with each push. By the time he moved on to the free weights, the khakis had morphed into gray Nike sweatpants, snug around his growing legs.
I watched as he grabbed a set of dumbbells, his hands gripping the metal with more confidence than before. His biceps swelled as he curled them, the veins in his forearms becoming more pronounced. His button-down had somehow transformed into a tight maroon T-shirt that clung to his chest and shoulders, the sleeves straining to contain his growing arms. The hem rode up slightly, revealing a set of abs that hadn’t been there an hour ago.
He paused mid-rep, frowning as he caught his reflection in the mirror. “Is it just me, or do I look… different?” he asked, glancing at me.
I smirked. “You’re changing. Everyone does.”
“What?” His voice wavered slightly, but he didn’t sound as panicked as I’d expected. He turned back to the mirror, his eyes narrowing as he examined himself. “I mean, I do look better, don’t I?”
“Sure,” I said. “But that’s not all that’s happening.”
He didn’t seem to hear me. He flexed his arm experimentally, a grin spreading across his face as he admired the way his bicep bulged. “I haven’t looked like this since college,” he said, his tone lighter, almost excited. “No, I’ve never looked like this.”
The lights flickered again.
They always did when someone new arrived. That soft, pulsing glow that ran through the walls, like the place itself was exhaling in anticipation. I leaned against the squat rack, waiting. I didn’t know how long I’d been here—days, weeks, years? It didn’t matter anymore. All I knew was that when the lights pulsed like that, someone else was about to walk through those doors, confused and scared, their life about to be rewritten.
This time, the man who stumbled in couldn’t have been more out of place. Middle-aged, thin, with the kind of stooped posture that came from decades of working hunched over desks or shelves. He was wearing a gray cardigan over a button-down shirt, neatly pressed khakis, and polished loafers that echoed slightly on the gym’s smooth floors. He carried a leather satchel in one hand, clutching it like a lifeline, his wide eyes darting across the mirrored walls and rows of gleaming equipment. He looked like he should have been walking into a library or an academic conference, not… here.
“What on earth?” he muttered, his voice low, trembling. He stood frozen for a moment, taking in the scene—the endless rows of dumbbells and machines, the clinking of weights as the other men in the gym worked through their routines, completely oblivious to his arrival. The mirrors reflected his thin, nervous frame a thousand times over, distorting him until he seemed swallowed up by the space.
I pushed off the rack and crossed my arms, watching him. It was always the same—panic first, then denial, and finally, acceptance. But everyone fought it differently.
“Hey,” I said, keeping my tone casual. “You lost?”
He spun around, startled, his satchel swinging slightly. He was older than most of the people who showed up here—maybe mid-forties, with thinning brown hair streaked with gray at the temples. He wore wire-rimmed glasses that made his pale blue eyes seem even more anxious. His face was lined, but not unpleasant, though it had that soft, academic quality that suggested he’d spent more time reading than living.
“I… yes, I think so,” he said, his voice shaky. “I was just leaving work, and I—” He paused, frowning. “This isn’t right. Where am I?”
“You’re in the gym,” I said simply, gesturing around us. “You didn’t mean to end up here, did you?”
“No, I…” He trailed off, looking around again. “I was leaving the library, locking up for the night. I stepped out the back door, and then… I was here.” His fingers tightened around the strap of his satchel. “This doesn’t make any sense.”
“It never does,” I said. “But you might as well put that bag down. You’re not going anywhere.”
He frowned, clearly not understanding. “What do you mean, ‘not going anywhere’? There’s always a way out.”
“Not here,” I said, leaning back against the rack again. “Every door leads back to the gym. You can try them all if you want, but it won’t make a difference.”
His mouth opened to argue, but he stopped himself, looking at me like he thought I might be messing with him. I didn’t bother explaining further. It was always easier to let them figure it out for themselves.
He did. For hours, or maybe it was minutes—it was hard to tell. He tried every door, every hallway, every nook and cranny of the gym, even peering behind some of the machines like there might be a hidden escape route. Each time, he ended up right back where he started. I watched him, arms crossed, waiting for the inevitable moment when he’d realize there was nothing else to do.
Eventually, he slumped down on a nearby bench, his satchel abandoned on the floor. His cardigan was hanging off one shoulder now, his button-down damp with sweat from all the pacing. He looked defeated, his glasses slipping down his nose.
“I don’t understand,” he said, mostly to himself. “This is impossible.”
“It’s not about understanding,” I said, walking over. “It’s about accepting. There’s nothing to do here except work out. Sooner or later, you’ll start.”
He gave me a sharp look, like I’d insulted him. “I don’t belong here,” he said, his voice firming slightly. “I’m a librarian. I haven’t set foot in a gym in years.”
I shrugged. “You’re here now. And there’s nothing else to do. So unless you want to sit and stare at the walls forever…”
He didn’t answer, just looked down at his hands, his thin fingers twitching slightly. After a long pause, he stood up, walking over to one of the machines with a hesitant, almost resigned air. He stared at it like it was some alien contraption, his head tilted slightly. Then, cautiously, he sat down and gripped the handles.
The first push was awkward, his arms trembling as he tried to move the weight. He was clearly out of his element, his movements shaky and uncoordinated. But he kept at it, his jaw tightening with determination. He didn’t look at me again, too focused on the machine.
The changes started slowly. At first, it was just his posture—his shoulders squared as he worked through his reps, the slump in his back disappearing. His movements became smoother, more confident, as though his body was remembering something it had never known. His arms, once thin and weak, began to fill out, the first hints of muscle appearing beneath his pale skin.
His cardigan slipped off completely at some point, forgotten on the floor, and his button-down shirt started to cling to his torso, the fabric tightening as his chest began to expand. He frowned, tugging at it absently, but he didn’t stop. His khakis were next, the legs stretching taut against his thighs, which were visibly thickening with each push. By the time he moved on to the free weights, the khakis had morphed into gray Nike sweatpants, snug around his growing legs.
I watched as he grabbed a set of dumbbells, his hands gripping the metal with more confidence than before. His biceps swelled as he curled them, the veins in his forearms becoming more pronounced. His button-down had somehow transformed into a tight maroon T-shirt that clung to his chest and shoulders, the sleeves straining to contain his growing arms. The hem rode up slightly, revealing a set of abs that hadn’t been there an hour ago.
He paused mid-rep, frowning as he caught his reflection in the mirror. “Is it just me, or do I look… different?” he asked, glancing at me.
I smirked. “You’re changing. Everyone does.”
“What?” His voice wavered slightly, but he didn’t sound as panicked as I’d expected. He turned back to the mirror, his eyes narrowing as he examined himself. “I mean, I do look better, don’t I?”
“Sure,” I said. “But that’s not all that’s happening.”
He didn’t seem to hear me. He flexed his arm experimentally, a grin spreading across his face as he admired the way his bicep bulged. “I haven’t looked like this since college,” he said, his tone lighter, almost excited. “No, I’ve never looked like this.”
I didn’t bother correcting him. The changes were already affecting his mind, his memories shifting to accommodate the new reality. It was subtle at first—almost unnoticeable. He still responded when I called him Richard, but there was hesitation, a faint flicker of confusion in his eyes, like the name didn’t sit right anymore.
By the time he moved on to another machine, the transformation was undeniable. His maroon T-shirt was no longer sitting properly—it had somehow ridden up, the hem tucked under itself and pulled halfway over his head. It clung to his neck and bunched around his upper arms like a makeshift cape, the fabric framing his now-sculpted chest and sharply defined abs. He didn’t seem to notice, or maybe he didn’t care. Instead, he focused entirely on the mirror, admiring the way the overhead lights highlighted every groove in his torso. His pecs looked impossibly firm, rising and falling with each slow, deliberate breath.
The silver chain had appeared around his neck at some point, its polished links catching the light with every slight movement. It sat just above his chest, glinting in the mirror like it had always belonged there. His sweatpants clung tightly to his thighs, emphasizing their powerful bulk, the fabric stretched taut over legs that had once been scrawny. The waistband sagged low on his hips, revealing the elastic band of Calvin Klein briefs. Even the brand seemed to match the newfound confidence radiating from him.
He caught me staring, pausing in front of the mirror with a cocky grin. “I look good, huh?” he said, flexing one arm and glancing between me and his reflection.
I frowned. “You’re changing, Richard. This isn’t—”
“Who’s Richard?” he interrupted, letting out a low, amused laugh. “Man, you’re weird.” He shook his head, turning his attention back to the mirror. His hand ran through his hair, which was now thicker, darker, and styled into soft spikes. His face had become smoother, younger, his jawline sharper. A shadow of stubble darkened his cheeks and chin, perfectly trimmed, as if he’d spent hours grooming it. But I knew better—it had just appeared.
“Richard is who you were,” I said firmly, stepping closer. “You don’t have to give in to this.”
He didn’t even glance at me this time. “Yeah, sure, whatever,” he said absently, adjusting the chain around his neck. His biceps bulged as he moved, the veins in his arms standing out against his tanned skin. “You’re kinda bringing down the vibe, bro.”
“Bro?” I repeated, incredulous. “You’re not—”
But he’d already moved on, grabbing a set of heavier dumbbells. I watched as he curled them, his movements slow and deliberate, his grin widening with each rep. His muscles swelled with every lift, as though the weights were sculpting him further, refining every detail of his physique. I could feel the gym working on him, reshaping not just his body but his mind.
I tried to get through to him again a little later, when he’d moved to the leg press. He was loading plates onto the machine with a kind of thoughtless ease, his movements mechanical but confident. “Richard,” I called, louder this time.
He glanced over his shoulder, frowning slightly. “What now, dude?”
“You don’t have to do this,” I said. “You can stop. You can fight it.”
“Fight what?” He laughed, shaking his head as he sat down and braced his legs against the machine. “You’re not making any sense, man. I’m just… doing my thing, you know?”
“This isn’t who you are!” I snapped, frustration boiling over. “You’re a librarian. You don’t belong here.”
He hesitated for just a second, his hands gripping the bars of the machine. Then he grinned, his teeth gleaming white. “Librarian? Nah, man. I’m not… I mean, that doesn’t sound right.” He pressed the weight, his quads flexing powerfully. “Besides, look at me. This is who I am. Always been, right?”
“No, it’s not!” I insisted, stepping closer. But he wasn’t listening anymore. His focus was entirely on the machine, on the weight, on the burn of his muscles. He grunted with effort, his sweatpants riding lower with each press, exposing more of the waistband of his underwear.
Our conversations grew shorter after that. Every time I tried to talk to him, he seemed more distracted, his attention entirely on his reflection or the next set of reps.
“Hey, Richard,” I said again one day—if it was even a day. Time blurred together here, and it felt like I was stuck in an endless loop. “Do you even remember where you came from?”
“Uh, sure,” he said without looking at me, his voice vague. He flexed in the mirror, adjusting the way his shirt hung around his neck. “Came from, like… somewhere, I guess. Doesn’t matter, does it?”
“It does matter!” I said sharply. “You’re forgetting yourself. Can’t you see that?”
“Dude,” he said, finally glancing my way, his tone exasperated. “I don’t get what your deal is. I feel great. I look great. Why would I care about… whatever boring stuff you’re on about?”
“That ‘boring stuff’ is who you are,” I said, but I could already tell he wasn’t paying attention. He was busy pulling his sweatpants lower, angling his body in front of the mirror to admire his abs. The smirk on his face made my stomach churn.
“Looking sick, right?” he said, gesturing at his reflection. He glanced at me like he expected me to agree, but when I didn’t, he just shrugged and turned away.
It didn’t take long after that for him to stop talking to me entirely. My attempts to reach him were met with vague grunts, or, more often, complete silence. He became just like the others—completely absorbed in his workouts, his reflection, the endless pursuit of perfection. He spent hours—if hours even existed here—lifting, flexing, adjusting his chain or his sweatpants. Occasionally, he’d let out a low, satisfied laugh as he admired his progress, but he never spoke to me again.
I watched him for a long time, that familiar mix of anger and helplessness twisting in my chest. The man who had walked into the gym—the librarian clutching his satchel and looking so out of place—was gone. In his place was another meathead, all muscles and vanity, his mind as sculpted and empty as his body was powerful. He didn’t even glance my way as he moved from one machine to the next, lost in the rhythm of his routine.
And I knew, eventually, the lights would flicker for him. But until then, he was just another mindless body in the gym, endlessly lifting, endlessly transforming.
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glitter-stained · 1 day ago
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I know some people argue that robin!Jason and Dick were never close post-crisis pre n52 because they only interacted a couple of times in canon and I understand that due to Dick living away when they first met they wouldn't be as close as the relationship Dick has with some of his other siblings, but I would also wish we would take in account that for all three of Jason's years, we have like 30 issues of Jason's run. That's exceedingly small. We have batman #416, we have that one moment in teen titans (i forgot the issue) of jason working with the team, and i think the ski trip we found out later about was included in the same canon*. (also, i do feel like even if you didn't know/like eachother before going on a ski trip together by the end of the ski trip this will have changed, and the picture definitely felt like they were getting along even though Jason's face in the picture was comically weird.) I'm not sure if there were other interactions shown or mentioned, but hey, 2-3/30ish isn't a bad score at all! If we're going 3/30, that's a whole tenth of Jason's robin era.
(And I'm talking about their relationship from Dick's pov since it's the one in question here but it's clear to me in Jason's run, even post-crisis, that Dick is often on his mind and important in his life (with a certain inferiority complex the little siblings of very cool people know well) with stuff like I think Batman #410 or Jason is Legends.)
And even more importantly, 30ish is extremely short for three damn years. That's ten issues per year! Do we assume that Jason was sitting on a shelf for the whole time he's not working with batman in the comics? Do we assume batman was sitting on a shelf twiddling his thumbs all that time during those three years he appears, either? It's perfectly logical to make the assumption that Bruce and Jason were still going out as goddamn Batman and Robin even when it's not shown on screen and having a relationship and interacting together even when it's not seen. In fact it's the most reasonable and logical assumption even. It's obvious Jason and Bruce's interactions extend past what was shown on screen so why wouldn't Dick and Jason? We know from Dick's relationship to his death that Dick cared about Jason. We know how much his death impacted him. Regardless of the (now retconned) terrible mess that was their relationship after Jason came back, they had a relationship, and it was good, and how deep it went is up to interpretation but it doesn't cheapen or lessen any of Dick's relationship with his other siblings to acknowledge that (like, seriously, even though some of them might view it as such in the story, dick's love isn't a prize that can only go to the one blorbo to win the competition. Personally I don't see Robin Jason being his favourite, and that's fine. Probably since, as I only have one sibling to be weird about, this is one aspect of Dick and Jason's relationship that I don't project onto them.)
There's a difference between saying "those are the only canon interactions between Dick and Robin!Jason that we know of" and saying "those are the only interactions that happened between Jason and Dick when Jason was Robin", especially if the next sentence is going to be something like "read a comic". I want to insist that I'm not saying that they have to have been super close. All I'm saying is I don't see, with the knowledge I personally have of canon and the retcons I choose to disregard (because of terrible writing), why considering that they were close wouldn't be canon compliant.
Leeway, nuance and up to interpretation stuff are fun and should matter for evaluating the level of canon compliance of your own headcanons, and I think it's especially important when trying to police other people's interpretation of canon: are you certain their interpretation is fanon and you're correcting it with the right canon, or is it a case of two headcanons clashing in the blank space between comic pages?
I just found it strange to never see it taken in account in the sometimes pretty emphatic takes I saw on the debate around their relationship, so those are my two cents on the matter. All this to say, [theatre joke in coming], when it comes to Dick and Jaybin, we could all stand to be more chill.
* btw i'm excluding dixon's nightwing year one from this conversation because I hate how it manages to shit on every one of the characters i've seen him write in it so violently and also fuck dixon, my jason comes from post-crisis not that crappy weirdo retcon.
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zeroseuniverse · 2 days ago
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Safety Blanket
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Word Count: 1.2K Summary: "You’re right. I can't resist. This is... incredible." Hoshi let out a dramatic sigh of contentment, resting his head on the mound of pillows. "I told you. It’s the ultimate self-care." Pairing: Hoshi X Fem Reader
She walked into the living room, hoping to find her best friend, Hoshi, ready to hang out and do something productive. Instead, she was met with an unusual sight—an entire fortress of blankets piled high on the couch, with only a small gap near the edge for Hoshi's face to peek through.
She blinked. "Uh... are you okay?"
There was a muffled voice from within the blanket fortress. "I'll let you take one guess."
She raised an eyebrow, walking closer to the pile of fabric. "Hoshi, what... what happened? Did you get buried under here or something?"
A hand emerged from the side, flailing weakly in the air. "Nope! I'm just... embracing my inner potato today." The voice was muffled by the blankets, but she could tell Hoshi was grinning.
She couldn't help but laugh. "Inner potato, huh? Is that a new thing? Because it looks more like you’re hiding from the world."
Hoshi’s head popped out from the blanket cocoon, his messy hair sticking out like a haystack, eyes wide with determination. "It’s called self-care. You should try it sometime."
She squatted down next to the blanket mountain, peering into the small gap where Hoshi’s face was framed. "So, you’re just... hiding in there? Not doing anything productive? Not even thinking about lunch?"
Hoshi dramatically sighed and lay back into the mound of fabric. "Well, considering I spent the entire morning trying to perfect my dance routine for one move, which I still haven’t nailed, I decided it was time for a retreat. You can only fail so many times before you need an emotional support blanket."
She leaned back and crossed her arms, trying to suppress a laugh. "So, you’re giving up on dancing?"
Hoshi shot her a look, his face partially visible beneath the blankets. "I’m not giving up. I’m just... recharging my spirit with the power of blankets. You can't underestimate the healing properties of a cozy fortress." He adjusted his position, fluffed his pillow, and let out a deep sigh of satisfaction. "Okay, I might be a little bit giving up. But at least I’m comfortable."
She rolled her eyes, but there was something endearing about his dramatic behavior. "What happened to the guy who wanted to become the world’s best dancer?"
Hoshi’s head popped up again, and he gave her a serious look, his blanket cocoon shifting with the motion. "He got temporarily replaced by a potato. It’s a phase."
She chuckled. "Alright, well, if you want to embrace your potato self, I guess I’ll leave you to it. But the world’s best dancer doesn’t get to hide forever, you know."
Hoshi’s eyes sparkled mischievously. "That’s why I’m training to become the world’s best blanket ninja right now. It’s all part of the plan."
She shook her head in mock disbelief. "You’re ridiculous."
Hoshi grinned, sinking further into his blankets with a dramatic flair. "Thank you. It’s an art form, really."
She let out a sigh, still smiling. "Well, enjoy your blanket paradise, Potato Hoshi. Let me know if you need anything. Like, I don’t know, a snack or a wake-up call when your blanket fortress collapses."
Hoshi’s muffled voice came from beneath the pile, far too calm. "I’m already preparing my escape plan. Just give me a few hours. Maybe days."
She laughed. "Alright, take your time, Potato Hoshi. Just... don’t forget about the world outside your blanket fortress."
Hoshi, from the depths of his blanket hideout, gave a triumphant thumbs-up. "World? What world?"
And with that, she left him to his blankets, knowing full well he’d emerge sooner or later, probably with a new ridiculous story to tell. After all, this was Hoshi—a potato by day, dancer by night.
She had left Hoshi to his blanket cocoon for a good while, but curiosity—and an undeniable sense of comfort—pulled her back. As she peeked around the corner, she saw him still hidden beneath the layers of fabric, looking like a human burrito, only his eyes visible. He was definitely not planning on leaving anytime soon.
She hesitated for a moment, but then the mischievous side of her took over. She wasn't going to let him have all the fun. Without saying a word, she casually walked over to the fortress and, in one swift move, pulled a corner of the blankets back and slipped underneath.
Hoshi, who had been staring at his phone with a half-interested gaze, blinked in surprise as she crawled in beside him, her face emerging from the same gap he'd been peering through.
"What are you doing?" Hoshi asked, his voice half-amused, half-confused.
She gave him a grin, her hair slightly tangled from the blanket’s cozy chaos. "Joining you, obviously. I can't let you have all the potato glory to yourself."
Hoshi’s face lit up, and a playful laugh bubbled out of him. "So, you’ve decided to embrace your inner potato as well? Welcome to the club."
She snuggled into the pile of blankets, enjoying the soft warmth around her. "You’re right. I can't resist. This is... incredible."
Hoshi let out a dramatic sigh of contentment, resting his head on the mound of pillows. "I told you. It’s the ultimate self-care."
She laid beside him, mimicking his posture. They both stared at the ceiling for a few moments, cocooned in silence. The outside world—work, obligations, the chaos of life—seemed a million miles away.
"How long do you think we can stay here?" she asked lazily, her voice muffled by the blankets.
Hoshi raised his hand as if he were about to give a speech. "As long as we need. The world outside does not exist in Blanket land."
She chuckled, nudging him lightly. "You’re ridiculous."
"I’m serious!" Hoshi replied dramatically. "I’m at peace with the universe right now. No distractions. No responsibilities. Just blankets and—" He paused dramatically, looking at her. "—you. My fellow blanket warrior."
She smiled. "I never thought I’d be hiding from the world inside a blanket fort, but... I think I get it now. This is the best idea you’ve ever had."
Hoshi grinned, satisfied with his self-proclaimed genius. "Told ya! It's the ultimate fortress of tranquility."
She rolled onto her side, facing him. "What do we do now? Should we come up with a plan to conquer the world, or just nap for the rest of the day?"
Hoshi tapped his finger to his chin, deep in thought. "Hmm, I think I’m going with Plan B: nap first, conquer the world later. This blanket fortress has taken a lot out of me."
She laughed and settled her head onto a pillow. "Sounds good to me. I’ve got absolutely no plans anyway."
The two of them lay there for a while, wrapped in warmth and comfort, talking about everything and nothing. No deadlines, no pressures, just the soft hum of the world outside, barely reaching them beneath their blanket fortress.
And as they both drifted into a peaceful nap, She couldn’t help but feel that this was exactly what they both needed. After all, sometimes the best adventures were the ones where you simply stayed still.
"Hey, Hoshi," She whispered sleepily, "I think this might be my new favorite thing."
Hoshi let out a contented sigh, his voice barely a whisper. "I told you. The Potato Club is the best club."
She smiled, snuggling deeper into the cocoon. "Best club ever."
And so, in their blanket fortress, the world outside could wait.
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aziraphales-library · 2 days ago
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Hello! Thanks for all your hard work, I’ve found so many good fics through here.
Do you have any recommendations for human au fics where Crowley and Aziraphale have known each other for a long time before becoming romantically involved. Could be acquaintances or co-workers or even friends, but looking for a good rec without a real meet cute/strangers-to-lover situation! Thanks so much :)
Hi! We have #friends to lovers and #childhood friends tags which you can check for lots of fics like this. Here are some more to add...
be mine tonight (be mine forever) by artenon (T)
Aziraphale knows he’s a solitary person. He knows Crowley may very well be his only true friend. He doesn’t mind this. He does, however, very much mind learning that his coworkers have a betting pool on whether he’ll be coming alone to the department holiday party next week. He especially minds when he learns that the reason there is a betting pool in the first place is because their intern, young Newton Pulsifer, is the only one naïve enough to believe Aziraphale might have a date. ----- In retaliation to a bet made against him, Aziraphale asks Crowley to be his date to the office holiday party. Certainly there are no flaws to be found in this plan. Certainly the secret love Aziraphale has been harboring for Crowley for the past several years won't be an issue. Certainly not.
Slipping by AppleSeeds (T)
When Aziraphale's friend and colleague Crowley asks him out at their work Christmas party, Aziraphale turns him down, having only ever thought of Crowley as a friend. Months later, Aziraphale's feelings for Crowley have changed, but due to a series of increasingly ridiculous misunderstandings, they both become convinced that the other isn't interested in a romantic relationship. (They're just adorable, oblivious, and pining, that's the whole fic.)
Wanna Bet? by Mimsynims (E)
“What do you mean, ‘you can’t find my name’?” “I’m sorry, sir. We have bookings for all of your colleagues, but your name is missing. Unfortunately that means there’s no room set aside for you.” “Right…” Crowley could guess who had made the ‘mistake’. “But surely there’s another room available? It doesn’t have to be on the same floor as the others’.” He would actually prefer it if it wasn’t.  “I’m afraid not, sir. Due to the conference all of our rooms are booked already.” The young woman on the other side of the counter looked genuinely distressed. “Most hotels within the vicinity are.” Crowley sighed and furrowed his brows. He didn’t even want to be here in the first place, and now he didn’t have a place to sleep? Knowing Gabriel, it would be no use asking to be allowed to go back home.  “Let me check something…” The woman brightened again, a small smile growing on her face. “Yes. It’s not ideal, but it seems that two of your colleagues have been placed in double rooms. Perhaps you or someone else can consider sharing?” Anyone want to guess who he ends up sharing a room with? ;)
On The Side by FeralTuxedo (E)
Aziraphale is far too pure of heart to be anybody’s bit on the side. Or so Crowley thinks. But when his friend starts seeing walking red flag Jim, with his dodgy smiles and mysterious past, Crowley does everything he can to protect Aziraphale from disaster. His own heart might just end up being collateral damage.
i've found a way (a way to make you smile) by curtaincall (T)
Crowley worked in Sales. He had never intended to work in Sales. It had just sort of happened. One moment, there he’d been, a newly minted university graduate off to change the world, exquisitely useless Philosophy degree in hand, and now here he was, having sauntered vaguely downwards into a Hell that consisted mainly of cold-calling new customers and sucking up to existing ones.   AU based on The Office.
Between Comfort And Chaos by anathxmadevice (T)
“And how long have you two been a couple?” “Oh, I—” Aziraphale panics. “Ha, well, that’s a funny… We’re not actually—” “We’re just friends.” Crowley says, their voice clear and calm and lightly amused, either because of or in spite of Aziraphale’s flailing attempts to divert the conversation. “Ah, yes, quite.” Aziraphale says, then takes a sip of his drink just for something to do, instead of focussing on the way Crowley said just friends, and how it causes a painful throb in his chest that he has never fully got used to. His memory can only scrabble at the edge of a time where being just friends with Crowley didn’t feel like a particular form of torture. * Or, Aziraphale has been desperately in love with his best friend and housemate Crowley since they were students, but is too scared to do anything about it.
- Mod D
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worfsbarmitzvah · 3 days ago
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in the coming weeks, months, and years PLEASE be mindful of posts that rile you up but include no useful or actionable information.
an example i just encountered on tiktok: “they’re banning these books!!!” who is banning them? what, exactly, do the bans entail (are they banned from being taught in schools, removed from school libraries, from public libraries, etc)? in what parts of the country? is this coming from school boards, local legislators, or somewhere else? what is the source of this information? am i supposed to be able to do something about this, or am i just supposed to get mad, leave an incredulous comment, and scroll on?
social media makes it easier than ever for people to feed off of fear and anger. misinformation spreads like wildfire online. BE DILIGENT. do not let people use your outrage to farm engagement. direct that energy toward action based on verifiable information. attend local government meetings. find a real-life community (even one that isn’t oriented toward activism — you will make connections that will be essential in the coming years whether your community is a volunteer group or a dnd campaign).
you are not obligated to complete the work, but you are not free to abandon it. getting worked up over posts feels righteous, and you think you’re gonna put that energy away to do Something with it later, but i know from experience that that doesn’t work. you overwhelm yourself with all the bad news and you keep doomscrolling.
here are some actions that make a difference:
get some rubber gloves and a trash bag, go for a short walk, and pick up all the litter you see.
donate to the aclu.
draw or write something. in times like this we need art.
call your local food bank and see if they’re looking for volunteers or donations.
this website lists various ways you can help undocumented people.
go to or contact your local public library and find out what groups, activities, and programs they have available. even if there’s nothing there for you, get a library card and use it regularly.
there is so much more you can do, but it will vary from place to place and person to person. my point is: find what you can do and do it rather than doomscrolling for four years straight.
remember to practice self-care. you cannot boil an empty kettle. tidy up your living space, take a bath or shower, do some stretches or jumping jacks or push-ups, take a few deep breaths.
if you are a minor right now, especially if you won’t be 18 before the next election, your job right now is to SURVIVE. that’s everybody’s job, but kids and teenagers especially. do not burn yourself out on despair before you ever get to cast a ballot. i know it’s terrifying right now. i was 12 on january 20, 2017. i know how you’re feeling. it won’t be easy and the you that you are in 2028 will not be the you that you are today. be good to your friends, do your best in school, and take care of your body and mind. that is your ONLY job. you might see kids your age doing activism, like kids my age saw greta thunberg and x gonzález during trump’s first term. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE THEM. you just have to keep yourself going. the future needs you.
again, whatever you do, DO NOT GIVE IN TO DESPAIR. do not give your attention and energy to people that just want your like and your outraged comment. save that energy for things that help heal the world.
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restlessmaknae · 2 days ago
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got me so lovesick // gyuvin
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A school radio announcement goes wrong, and you accidentally end up confessing to the whole school that you might have a crush on a member of the school band - which consists of Gyuvin, Taesan, Jungwon and Yechan.
➳ Characters: band member!Gyuvin x school radio host!female reader/you
➳ Genre: high school au, boarding school au, rich kids au, comedy, fluff
➳ Words: 6.4k
➳ Warning: mentions of food, drinks, reader is a bit chaotic and overdramatic and overthinks a lot
➳ A/N: This story is part of my KOZ International High series, but can totally be read on its own as it's Gyuvin's own story.
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“Good morning, everyone! This is your host, Y/N, and me and the whole school radio team hope that you had a wonderful summer. We would like to warmly welcome the freshman and welcome back all the other students. This year will probably be very challenging for a lot of you, especially for me and my fellow seniors, but since it’s still just the first day, let's not be sad! Here’s one of the most requested songs to start the new school year right with the last bits of summer: Supernova by aespa.”
You introduced the song before you pressed play on the audio. Then, you put your mic on mute and turned towards Hikaru who sat on the chair beside yours. She shook her head.
“I swear to god, we’re always ready to make the announcements, but the student service office can’t even help us out,” you grumbled as you reached for your bottle of water to take a sip from it.
It was just you, Hikaru and Seokjoon – the boy was currently checking on the cables as if you hadn’t been doing this for two years – for now, but there was also Samantha who was in the school radio club with you, and who was currently chasing after teachers and officers for any possible updates. Even though you had already sent out the survey to other students for song recs last week, and had already reached out to the school board if they wanted to make any announcements during your usual slots for the school radio, they were more or less unresponsive. Apart from getting your hands on the weekly menu at the canteen, that is.
After gulping down the liquid and your growing frustration, you turned to the head of the school radio again.
“Do you think we should make the announcements after the third period? Maybe lunch break?”
“I don’t know about you, but I would rather sacrifice the break after the third period than lunch break. I’ve been missing the cafeteria food,” the girl admitted with a lopsided smile, and you cracked up immediately.
“Fair point,” you agreed because if there was one thing you really liked about this school, it was the food at the canteen. Sure, it was a private school, so the quality of the facilities should be better than average, but you had heard that food was something that was questionable even at boarding schools. However, KOZ International High had excellent choices to suit all dietary needs and preferences, and they were also generous with the portions. Guys even lined up for seconds at times.
After agreeing on the timing of the usual announcements for the beginning of the school year, you turned back to the mic and as Supernova ended, you were on air again.
“Since everyone is still sleepy, we’ve decided to spare you from the usual round of announcements and paperwork deadlines until the third break. However, what we can say confidently, and what might wake you up is that Insomnia, the school’s one and only band is back! They are going to perform at today’s ceremony, to officially kick off the school year in good spirits. And for all the freshmen who are new to them… you’ve been seriously missing out until now,” you teased playfully before bidding your goodbye with a promise to come back with the announcements later on. One slot down, one more to go.
Seokjoon huffed behind you, and you and Hikaru both turned towards the boy, eyebrows raised in question.
“I don’t know what’s so good about that band. They are good, but they are pretty much mid,” he blurted out the cause of his disapproval, and you exchanged a glance with Hikaru in disbelief. You were of the opinion that the creation of Insomnia was the best thing to happen in your sophomore year because the school finally had a band, and because the school ceremonies finally didn’t suck. The four-membered band frequently performed at school events, and even had their own Youtube channel which had grown rapidly over the past 2 years.
Not to mention that the four members – Taesan, Jungwon, Yechan and Gyuvin – were still very much approachable and friendly with others, and they didn’t look for any trouble unlike Seokjoon who always felt the need to pick on others for liking different things than he did.
“Just because you listen to different kinds of music doesn’t mean that they are mid in their own genre,” you reasoned calmly, but of course, that wasn’t good enough for the boy.
“Just because they look good doesn’t mean that they make good music.”
“They look good and they make good music,” you corrected the boy who just shook his head, a knowing smile playing along his lips.
“You have a crush on one of them, don’t you?”
“And if I do, what about it?” You exclaimed as you rose from your seat, puffing your chest out confidently. You and Seokjoon had gotten into arguments before, so you weren’t one to back down from this one either.
You faintly heard that someone was trying to get inside the room, but your door was locked as usual while you were on air. Hikaru stood up from beside you to walk towards the door, but Seokjoon continued on with the conversation in the meantime.
“Who do you have a crush on?”
Just as you were about to open your mouth to answer his question, Samantha practically flew into the room and pushed you and Seokjoon away from the sound desk, pushing a button fervently before turning towards the two of you. She looked like she had been running, and you were more than perplexed because you had just said that you would make the announcements later on, so even if she had scooped up something, it couldn’t be that urgent.
However, Samantha was faster and told you why she had been rushing here:
“You guys were on live the whole time! So now the whole school knows that Seokjoon doesn’t like Insomnia, and that you, Y/N, have a crush on one of the members!”
You needed a moment to close your mouth after your jaw literally dropped, but then, your hands flew to your mouth when you realised what it meant that the whole school knew about it. The whole school included the members of Insomnia as well!
“Oh no… noooo… this can’t be happening,” you whined as you slid back into your chair, totally devastated. You covered your face with your hands as if you could hide away from everyone, but at least you couldn’t see the others’ expressions.
Hikaru put a hand on your shoulder sympathetically, and you were ready to hear some comforting words from her. Instead, she made you feel even worse when she pointed out:
“At least, you didn’t say who your crush is.”
Sure, because having a crush on any of them wouldn’t be enough for students to start gossiping or even worse, for the members of Insomnia to think of you as a crazy fangirl.
“Aaah, I’m so doomed…”
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You were doomed.
If not from receiving multiple questions regarding your crush from multiple people in the corridor and in the classroom (even students you didn’t even know), then from agonising over what you should do when the third break rolled by. Should you apologise for the technical mishap? Which was totally your fault, by the way. You were the one who forgot to turn off the mic after signing off, so you couldn’t blame it on anyone.
Or rather, should you just act like nothing happened? That would mean you wouldn’t pressure the Insomnia members even more to tolerate your sudden confession because yes, you could admit once more that you had a crush on a member of Insomnia, but wouldn’t that make things worse? Wouldn’t that just make them more uncomfortable? Should you just say that it was a rhetorical question, nothing more?
Your two friends had different opinions on the matter, so mulling over it beside them in your classroom didn’t help either. Hikaru said that you should totally say that it was a rhetorical question if you wanted to avoid further gossip, but Hiyyih was of the opinion that you should confirm that you liked one of them. Who knew? Your crush might like you back.
“Ah, I don’t think that’s a good idea, to be honest,” Hikaru shook her head, and she looked like she didn’t want to say why she found it so unlikely that Han Taesan – the leader of Insomnia – would like you back. Yet, when you started questioning whether it was because you weren’t enough for a boy like him, she quickly dismissed your doubts.
“No, it’s just…” She started hesitantly, and looked around before leaning closer to the two of you. “I’ve heard from Kit that Taesan sat beside the head of the Maths club on the way home from their school trip willingly. Some claim that they have seen them warm up to each other, and that she fell asleep on his shoulder!” Hikaru whispered so quietly that you almost didn’t catch her words, and well… you wished you didn’t catch them.
You leaned forward all the way and rested your head on the table, hoping that it would solve all your problems – which consisted of your school radio mishap during the first break and the fact that Han Taesan might be in love with a different girl. You were aware that he was just a distant crush. After all, you weren’t even in the same class. All four members of Insomnia were in the other class, not yours.
Yet, you had been keeping an eye on him ever since he had opened the door for you on the first day of freshman year after another guy had shut the door in your face. He was the quiet type of kind, but you liked the fact that he was always quick to respond when you asked him about band-related stuff for the school radio announcements, and he had even sent in song recs for the slots.
“I mean, you know how Kit is… it might be exaggerated,” Hiyyih tried to save the day, and Hikaru seconded that, adding that she didn’t know if it was 100% true because she had heard about it when she had come into school that day.
Still, even the probability of the summer trip events happening in any form prompted you to apologise for the technical mishap during the third break and to claim that the crush-related mention of yours was simply rhetorical. Then, you quickly moved on to announce the weekly menu, the deadlines for the international students’ paperwork and where the freshman could pick up their student ID cards.
You signed off as usual, but you couldn’t help but ponder over the whole thing even until the end of the day, even when you were forced to sit through the school year opening ceremony which would end with the members of Insomnia performing.
However, shame was rushing through your veins at the very thought of seeing the band perform after today’s events, and you felt your face flush. You felt like it would be a terrible idea to be present, and since you were at the very back of the event hall because you were already seniors, you could escape quietly after letting your homeroom teacher know that you would go to the restroom.
You let out a long sigh when you got outside of the hall, your shoulders slumped at ease. You looked around, but the corridor was blissfully empty, so you could actually head to the restroom without anyone bothering you. You planned on staying inside a cubicle until the whole event was over, but it got suffocating quickly, so you walked out, planning to get some fresh air outside of the building.
However, as you turned a corner, you managed to bump into Kim Gyuvin, the guy who played the synthesizer in Insomnia.
“Oh, sorry,” the boy mumbled with a chuckle, his fringe falling into his eyes. You had to crane your neck to look at him because he was just so impossibly tall, but his height wasn’t your biggest concern now. It was the fact that he must have heard your words from before, if not from the school radio itself because he had been outside playing basketball with some guys or whatever, then from other students for sure.
“No worries, it’s fine,” you tried to shrug it off, partially saying it to him and partially to yourself, and since he didn’t seem to want to make a further comment, you took a step to the right and started walking away from him.
However, he called after you, he called your name which made you turn around in no time. Oh no… he recognised you!
“Yes?” You asked, trying to play the dumb, but your stomach turned into a gigantic knot in no time, and you felt dizzy immediately. This couldn’t go well, surely, he knew what had happened and he wanted to call you out on it. It couldn’t be for any other reason…
“Aren’t you coming back to the hall? We’ll perform soon.”
Surely, he had to know about it, he was just playing cool, but you were on the verge of running away from him and from this whole school.
“Oh no, I’m just…” You hesitated, trying to come up with a plausible explanation, but your brain kept telling you that you were already busted. He probably saw through you, right? “I’m just not feeling… super well,” you croaked out, a drop of sweat rolling down your cheeks as the words left your mouth.
Gyuvin seemed genuinely taken aback, and you couldn’t tell whether it was out of concern or surprise, but you just wished he could leave as soon as possible. Instead, he offered:
“Do you want me to walk you to the infirmary?”
Now, it was your turn to be taken aback because what the hell? This was not the scenario you had expected, and this was not the answer you had expected. You were trying to come up with reasons as to why he would go as far as walking you to the infirmary when he knew nothing about why you were feeling off, but then, your nervous ass decided to join the game and you shook your hands in front of your chest out of desperation:
“No, no way! I mean, there’s no need. You have to go and perform anyway. I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?” Gyuvin quirked an eyebrow, suspiciously eyeing you, but you bobbed your head so fervently, you were afraid it would fall off. “Alright, then. Get well soon!” He wished before turning around and heading back to the event hall.
You thought it was over and you were celebrating your little victory of not making a fool out of yourself for the second time that day, but then he called out your name once more, and you almost got a heart attack.
“Thanks for defending us! We’re happy to have supportive fans like you,” he exclaimed with a big smile, a genuine one, but before you could react, the boy sprung off and was out of sight.
Needless to say, you were more shocked than ever before in your whole entire life.
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Your whole life was in a frenzy for three whole days before things started to calm down again. If the whole paperwork part of being an international student at a boarding school, moving into the student halls for the semester and dealing with your jet-lag wasn’t enough, the whole school radio fiasco topped it all off.
After the technical mishap on the first day, you always double-checked whether you muted your mic or not, and didn’t dare to talk to others around you until you made sure that the whole school didn’t hear you. You had random students ask you if you really did have a crush on one of the Insomnia members, and if you did, who it was (some girl even claimed Jungwon for herself which was scary because apparently it meant that no one else could have a crush on the boy), and it just got annoying after a while.
On the other hand, it was Seokjoon who had it worse. The boy was fairly liked in your class before, but now, he complained about girls giving him the cold shoulder because he dared to disrespect Insomnia out loud.
“Well, he had it coming,” Hikaru mentioned before sipping on her mango juice, and it was true that Seokjoon wasn’t the friendliest guy at school, and he deserved to have his real personality exposed, the one that he didn’t show when he was flirting with girls.
Either way, there was already new drama with the father of one of the freshmen running for the election in her country and having memes of him speaking at an event, so you were glad that someone else stole the spotlight from you because you had enough of it for the whole year.
Whilst it was nice that you didn’t get that many knowing glances or stupid questions by the end of the first week, you simply didn’t know how to function in front of the members of Insomnia. Thankfully, you weren’t really in the same space with them apart from seeing them at the canteen, but you just had to see Taesan walk out of the school building with the head of the Maths club a week later.
It was already past 7PM, and you had finished dinner at the canteen, but your plan of peacefully walking back to the student halls was hijacked, and you had to duck behind a giant bush to not get caught. You could already picture what Taesan would be thinking if he saw you around him after classes (and probably after his band practice), and no, thank you, you didn’t need him to think that you were following him around.
You watched him crack a smile when he casted a glance at the girl beside him, and you felt something twist within you. Some raw, gawking, painful emotion overtook you, and you knew it right then and there that Kit was right. They must have warmed up to each other because though you didn’t know a lot about the head of the Maths club, you knew that Taesan wouldn’t talk to, let alone smile at just anyone like that.
Oh gosh, Hikaru was right…. Thank God you didn’t tell the whole school who you had a crush on!
“Why are we hiding behind a bush?” A male voice asked beside you, and you almost let out a squeal when you caught sight of Gyuvin crouching on your right.
“Jeez, you scared me!”
“I guess I did. You were zoning out so badly, you didn’t even hear me walk up to you,” the boy called you out, his eyes twinkling with amusement. Sure, it must have been an odd sight to see you crouched down behind a bush, but you had your reasons.
When you looked over the bush once over, you saw that the pair was out of sight, so you straightened your legs and turned to Gyuvin who did the same. Now, he was a whole lot taller than you as opposed to your crouching forms, and well, it was more difficult to take yourself seriously when you had to look up at him like that. You were sure that he thought this situation was way too funny.
“Do I really have to explain?”
“You don’t have to, but I’m kinda curious,” Gyuvin replied with an excited grin and looked at you with those big, round eyes that reminded you of your dog’s back home. You heaved a sigh, probably way too dramatic, but you just had to let it all out before you could admit the truth to him.
“So I was just coming from the canteen when I saw Taesan with the head of the Maths club walk out of the main building, and I panicked.” “Panicked? But why?” Gyuvin tilted his head in confusion, and you let out a sigh. Again.
“Well, if it had not been obvious, I had been trying to avoid you guys since the school radio incident. I was afraid that Taesan would jump to conclusions if he saw me around him after school.”
“But you live in the halls and eat dinner at the canteen. Why would he jump to conclusions?”
The boy looked so perplexed that you wondered if he really was that oblivious or he was just trying to make you feel better. After all, he could also have been the one you had a crush on, so why was he acting so… coolly? So unbothered?
“Wait, does Taesan not care about the school radio incident? About me possibly having a crush on one of you?”
The boy furrowed his eyebrows for a few seconds before his features finally smoothed out, and he let out a carefree laughter. The kind of laughter that you didn’t appreciate given the circumstances, so you smacked his side lightly to reprimand him.
“Ouch,” he yelped, reaching for the spot you just hit, but it couldn’t be as painful as he made it out to be. 
“I was being serious, Gyuvin! Don’t laugh at me!” You glared at him, putting your hands on your hips to appear more determined and more bossy than ever before. May it be because of that or because the boy was willing to answer either way, but he shared with you afterwards:
“If you want to know, we seriously didn’t give it much thought. Not me, not Yechan, not Jungwon and definitely not Taesan. So no, he would definitely not jump to the wrong conclusions. Believe me, I’m serious,” he stated in a surprisingly genuine tone, but you eyed him for a good ten seconds to see if he would break character.
When he didn’t, you let your shoulders drop and let out a long, long sigh. Again.
“Thank God! This whole situation has been giving me more stress than all my previous years here combined,” you admitted as you reached for your temple, feeling a headache creeping on.
“Oh yeah, the good old school drama. Insomnia had its fair share of them, you know,” he mused out loud, his lips curling upwards on one side. You didn’t know whether he added this to make you feel better or to make it seem like something that could happen to anybody, but you were thankful for his comment. Even more so when he reached a bottle out to you. “Want my banana milk?”
“Aww, thanks! That’s my favourite,” you squealed excitedly as you got your hands on the sweet drink. You immediately stripped the straw off and pierced it through the protective layer on top.
And somehow, this was how you walked back to the student halls with Gyuvin by your side, sipping on his banana milk.
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Befriending Gyuvin was definitely not on your bingo card for the new school year.
Or well… you weren’t sure that you were friends, but you did act friendly with each other afterwards. He greeted you in the hallways, asked about your days when you met in the communal room of the student hall, and somehow, he never failed to request a song for the school radio. He even went as far as sitting beside you in the canteen for dinner much to Hiyyih and Hikaru’s amusement. Even though they knew everything, so they were aware that you two started talking since the incident, they didn’t really think much of it. Not until the boy casually plopped down beside you and the girls for dinner. He explained that Taesan and Jungwon didn’t live in the student halls, and though Yechan did, he was always the first to have dinner because that boy was hungry all the time.
After that, the girls couldn’t stop teasing you about Gyuvin, and how it seemed like you could actually have an Insomnia member to yourself even though Taesan liked a different girl.
“Come on! It’s not like that,” you protested, trying to talk some sense into the girls, but they were relentless.
“People say that it’s not like that when it’s exactly like that. Think about what happened at the sports day with Anton,” Hikaru teased with a grin, talking about the annual sports day which took place at the end of October. Someone said that they saw the school magazine writer hugging Anton after she had won the swimming competition in your year, but she denied everything. Apparently, even the tips of Anton’s ears blushed when he was asked the same question, so something must have been going on.
On the other hand, you and Gyuvin weren’t like that. At least, you didn’t think so, so you pushed Hikaru’s shoulder playfully as a sign of disapproval. The girl pushed you back and somewhere along the way, you got into a pillow fight in Hiyyih’s room while denying that you didn’t like the said guy.
However, your emotions were difficult to decipher lately. You somehow managed to get over your crush on Taesan without much of a… breakdown? Heartbreak? Sure, seeing him with the head of the Maths club for the first time hadn’t been the best feeling in the world, but he seemed happy, and that’s what mattered. Besides, it was only platonic on your part, you didn’t even interact a lot apart from what was necessary for the school radio, and things weren’t about to change in your senior year.
Plus, you had to admit that you enjoyed talking to Gyuvin. He was a really fun guy, and though you never knew when to take him seriously even though he was sometimes totally serious, you knew that he was genuine. He didn’t play a part, he was just being himself, and his jokes and playful remarks were enough to turn even your worst days into good ones.
Like that Friday night in November when you were moping on one of the couches in the communal room, holding a mug of steaming tea in your hands. Lemongrass tea was said to have a calming effect, but it either didn’t work on you or didn’t hit yet. On the other hand, Gyuvin joined you as soon as he caught sight of you, and asked why you were so down.
“It’s just that I did worse on a test than I wanted to,” you admitted, your lips curling downwards. You usually didn’t let academics get you down because you didn’t need to have perfect scores to get into the university you wanted, and your parents weren’t that strict about your grades either, but that day, you really took it to heart.
“It’s okay. There will be more tests on which you can do better…” Gyuvin comforted you, and you turned your head to look at him. He gave you a gentle smile before he reached out to ruffle your hair. A habit that you might have grown fond of. “Or you can even do worse,” he added with a shrug, his playful side resurfacing.
You immediately smacked his side to punish him.
“Hey! You do know that for someone as small as you, you do hit pretty hard,” he complained as his hands flew to the spot you hit. You stuck your tongue out at him like a child, but beside him, you could be one.
“I’m not small! You are just too tall!”
“Well, at least someone can reach the top of the shelf,” he wiggled his eyebrows, reminding you of the fact that you needed to ask for his help when you wanted to get something down from the top shelf in the communal kitchen. Because somehow the cleaning lady always put your scattered things on the top one. “Speaking of which, want a banana milk?” Gyuvin quirked an eyebrow, way too proud with himself when you immediately perked up, giving in.
However, instead of getting a bottle out of his pockets or his bag like he usually did, he prompted you to follow him to the nearest communal kitchen. Since you were provided breakfast, lunch and dinner at the school, the kitchen wasn’t equipped with a lot of appliances. Instead, it had more fridges and shelves where you could store your snacks, fruits and drinks. There was one kitchen per 6 students which was more than enough, but you and Gyuvin used different kitchens, so you weren’t super familiar with this one.
It looked the same as yours, but instead of your snacks being placed on the top shelf, Gyuvin opened the top cupboard to reveal at least eight different bottles of banana milk.
“You’re kidding!” You gaped at the sight. “You’ve been hoarding these?”
“I don’t like how they taste, but I don’t want to waste them,” the boy shrugged as if it had been an everyday thing. To be honest, one could always choose whether they wanted some kind of milk (banana, strawberry or chocolate flavoured) or juice with their meal, so he could have totally opted out. Which meant that he must have kept them for you.
The thought fazed you so much that you almost didn’t notice Gyuvin giving you three bottles of your favourite drink.
“Here you go. And if you need someone to get them for you, you can always call me,” he winked at you, all casual and cool, and you played along with him as you put a hand on your heart, feigning being touched.
“Oh, my knight in shining armour…”
You both burst into laughter, and it felt nice to hear him laugh like that, and it felt nice to be so carefree after being down the whole day. Not to mention the thought of him keeping banana milk in his cupboard for you.
“Thanks. That’s really nice of you,” you mentioned after pulling yourself together, giving him a grateful smile.
“You’re welcome.”
He smiled back at you, and in that moment, you felt like your heart did a little somersault.
Wait… was it like that now?
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It was natural, really. Being with Gyuvin was all natural and fun and easy. Despite the fact that you had been so overdramatic when you had accidentally blurted out that you might have a crush on one of the Insomnia members, spending time with Gyuvin was not at all complicated or nerve-wrecking. Not that you actually spent time with the other Insomnia members, so they could ask you who you meant by that, but you know… it was still a big thing in your eyes.
These days, whenever you were around Gyuvin, you felt another layer of emotion that had not been there before, and admitting to your best friends that you might actually like the boy was somewhat deliberating. Though of course they said that they had known it all along. Especially when Gyuvin once asked you if you wanted to watch ‘The Wild Robot’ with him in the cinema because his friends didn’t want to see an animated movie with him.
“It’s totally a date,” Hiyyih squealed when you broke the news to them, but Hikaru just looked at you with those knowing eyes, and you knew that she was thinking the same.
“I mean, he didn’t say it was a date as per se, but I mean… it’s the first time we’ll spend time together off-campus, just the two of us,” you mused out loud, trying to make sense of what this occasion could mean to the boy.
“Well, at least, you’ll have an excuse to wear something nice that’s not your uniform,” Hikaru pointed out matter-of-factly, but you just realised right then and there that you didn’t even know what to wear for the occasion.
Since you usually wore a version of your school uniform during weekdays and some casual homey clothes on the weekends, you didn’t really have anything in mind. However, you were meeting Gyuvin off-campus, and you were going to the cinema with him, so you really did have an excuse to wear something else.
Which turned out to be a much more difficult task in the end, but the girls helped you choose a nice shirt with a fluffy cardigan, loose jeans and high-heeled boots to go with your usual winter coat and fluffy scarf. You thanked your friends by buying them their favourite snacks, and after getting permission from your parents to leave the campus during the weekend, you were good to go. You needed their permission because you were underage, but it was a fairly smooth process with a whole online system set up where your homeroom teacher got a notification when your parents approved your leave, and you could show the approval on your phone to the guards at the gate.
You decided on meeting the boy at the entrance – a giant gate with the school’s logo engraved into the front –, and after showing your permissions to the guard, he let you out. You started talking about the previous occasions you had left the campus grounds while taking the bus to the cinema, and time flew by quickly.
You almost forgot how much you had agonised over choosing the right outfit, but when you got inside the building, and the effect of the apparent heating hit you, you got rid of your coat and scarf immediately.
As Gyuvin turned around, he literally froze for a moment before he blurted out the obvious:
“Wow, you look different!”
“Yeah, I know. No school uniform today, thank God.”
“No, I mean…” Gyuvin tried to pull himself together, but he blinked a few times and cleared his throat before he managed to get the following words out. “You look pretty.”
Your face felt like it caught on fire right. You couldn’t help but smile sheepishly at the compliment, and ever so obviously not knowing what to do with it, you suggested getting some popcorn for the movie. Gyuvin looked just as awkward as you thought you looked like, so you felt a bit better about this whole thing. Turns out you weren’t the only one who had never done anything like this before.
After grabbing some popcorn and drinks, you were back to your usual chatty selves, and you stopped talking only when the movie started rolling. You had to admit that you had been a bit perplexed when Gyuvin had suggested an animated movie because a lot of boys your age would call them childish and cringey. You, on the other hand, were always up for a good Disney or Pixar movie, so after making sure that this invitation wasn’t a joke on the boy’s part, you had given it immediately.
You didn’t even mind. The movie was funny, heart-warming, and almost made you cry at one point. It was honestly so wholesome and you left the movie theatre in such good spirits that you felt like you could take on the world. But conquering the tests the week ahead was enough for you…
Gyuvin was of the same opinion, and as you were exiting the place, you shared your two cents on the movie, and what you liked about it. It was fun listening to the boy’s side, and it yet again warmed your heart that he oh so genuinely shared his opinion on an animated movie. Afterwards, you grabbed some good old convenience store food on the way back, filling your bellies before heading back to campus.
“To be honest…” Gyuvin started while you were waiting for the bus, and you turned to look him in the eye. It was unlike him to falter in his words, so you were extra curious what he had to say. “I didn’t even ask the guys if they wanted to come with me. I’ve wanted to see it with you,” he admitted as he scratched the back of his neck, a bit too embarrassed for his liking.
You blushed at the implication, but you blushed even more when you realised that you didn’t mind. It would have definitely been different with others around, let them be his friends or your friends.
“Y/N, can I ask you something?” Gyuvin inquired before you could properly react to his previous comment, but you bobbed your head immediately.
“Hmm?”
You just looked at him, eyes wide with curiosity, but the boy seemed uncharacteristically nervous for someone who was usually very casual. He bit down on his lower lip and let out a sigh before he finally blurted out his question:
“Do you really have a crush on somebody in the band?”
Though this was a question you had expected to get since the very first day of the semester, you didn’t expect it right now. However, you didn’t even have anything to hide from him, so you nodded, a genuine smile painted on your lips.
“Is it me?” He tried with a similarly wide smile, though he seemed reluctant. There was no turning back from here now, you knew it, and with each passing second, he just became more and more agitated, but before he could confuse your first love confession nervousness for trying-to-decide-how-to-reject-him kind of contemplation, you confessed with all the enthusiasm in the world:
“Yeah, I like you!”
And it was true. Though you used to have a crush on Taesan, if you could get over him so easily, it meant that it was just a fleeting thought rather than a real, deep-rooted crush. Instead, you were most definitely falling for this funny, silly guy who was always there for you with his banana milk and motivating (or teasing) words, and there was no denying this time that it was real.
“Ah, I’m so relieved,” he huffed with a grin, and reached out to ruffle your hair. “I like you, too, Y/N!” He said, and fireworks exploded in your heart at his words, at the way his lips curled into a gentle, never seen before smile, the kind that – it seemed like – came with confessions like this.
Now, you were more sure than ever that you were in love, and all the love songs were right about this feeling because it was all flushed faces, racing hearts and feeling out of breath for all the right reasons.
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A/N: Hope you enjoyed this story of mine! Let me know what you think! 😊
Click here for my ZB1 masterlist!
If you want to read more stories of mine, let it be for ZB1 or for other artists, consider signing up for my taglist here. 🥰
Header taken from the 'Good So Bad' MV, story title taken from 'Doctor Doctor'.
Hope you have a lovely day/night! Take care! ❤️
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sendpseuds · 23 hours ago
Note
Oh my god... Mall goth anakin x on-the-verge-of-a-midlife-crisis obiwan... Your Mind
[part one][part two]
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Obi-Wan knows he's already spent far more money than he'd planned. Store after store he's found himself nodding absently in response to every request Korkie makes. The huge wireless headphones he doesn't need. The limited edition sneakers that look identical to the ones already in his closet. The sunglasses all the cool kids are wearing.
Today, Obi-Wan can't seem to say No.
It would be easy to say he's doing it to make his son smile — it's not as if he's above buying a bit of the boy's affection from time to time — but the truth is, it would be far easier to stick to a budget were Obi-Wan's mind not so completely occupied by other things.
Things like leather harnesses and eyebrow scars.
Charcoal rimmed eyes and a teasing smile.
The unavoidable temptation of a shiny silver ring through a perfectly pouting lower lip.
Obi-Wan's cheek still burns where the young man kissed him, close enough to the line of his beard that he's certain the rough hairs must have tickled the soft corner of that painfully pretty mouth.
Had that actually happened?
Had it actually been want he’d seen in that sharp sapphire stare?
Had he actually said those things?
Meant those murmured words?
The questions are a near-constant loop in his head.
Being propositioned for sex is not an entirely foreign concept to Obi-Wan — it was certainly more common in his young and reckless years but he’s been single for a while now and it happens more often than people might think. Nowadays it’s usually, "Wanna get out of here?" from a tipsy patron in a dark dirty bar, or "Which one is yours?" from a single mother rooting for the rival team in the late innings of a high school baseball game.
The last time he was approached like this— with such brazen aggression, such wild open want — the last time a pretty young thing in leather and low-rise jeans cornered Obi-Wan in a dark neon-soaked room he had a fake ID and no clue he was about to become a dad.
"I think I'd rather call you Daddy."
Fucking hell.
"Hey, Dad?"
Obi-Wan needs to physically shake the thoughts from his head before he can look at his son.
His son who, as per usual, is buried in his phone.
"Yes?" Obi-Wan hums expectantly, as if he hasn't been walking around in a daze all day, cocking his head to one side when Korkie clicks off his phone but doesn't move to place it in his pocket.
"You've been really cool today," Korkie replies with a sincerity that hits Obi-Wan right in the chest, his heart squeezing tightly when he meets a pair of eyes that look like a mirror of his own, "and I know we planned to go to Dex's for lunch—"
Then Obi-Wan understands.
"But you have other plans?"
He looks appropriately apologetic.
He looks so much like his mom.
"Soniee just got her license," the teenager explains, holding up his phone as if it's evidence to his claim, his eyes darting away at the mention of his school friend's name, "She wants to celebrate."
"She wants to celebrate, hm?" Obi-Wan can't help but tease, barely resisting the urge to immediately apologize for the part his DNA had in the boy's complete inability to fight the blush creeping down his neck, remembering how endlessly Satine used to tease him, "With you?"
"Not just me," Korkie scoffs, somewhere between annoyed at his father and disappointed that it won't just be him and his crush driving around in the beat up sedan her father has been saving for her ever since he got that big truck he doesn't need, "She said she can pick me up here and drop me off at home later."
Obi-Wan know's that Home does not mean his apartment.
"I should call your mom—"
"I already texted her," Korkie quickly replies, holding up his phone to display the typical response of, "As long as it's alright with your father."
All Obi-Wan sees is the time.
And today, he just can't seem to say No.
"Alright," he agrees with a nod and a slanted smile, "As long as you promise to wear your seatbelt—" Korkie groans and rolls his eyes. Obi-Wan smiles. "And—" he continues loudly, holding up a finger as if to halt any oncoming complaints, "And if you consider spending an extra day or two with me before school starts so we can go up to Qui-Gon's camp."
"Fishing?" Korkie guesses, neither excited nor deterred by the prospect.
"I was actually thinking we could take his old Jeep out for some off-road driving lessons."
"Really!?"
"You can't—"
"I would never tell Mom."
Obi-Wan will tell Satine. He always does.
Sometimes, it's still fun to play the game.
"You're sure this is okay?" Korkie asks once the day's purchases are stuffed inside his new backpack, his tone almost uncomfortably earnest, "I feel bad about skipping lunch."
The kid probably thinks his dad is going to sit in their favorite diner by himself and frown into his french fries while Dex tries to cheer him up with wild stories of far faraway places.
Most times, he would probably be right.
Korkie also thinks no one has called Obi-Wan Daddy since he was seven.
"Get out of here," Obi-Wan insists with a smile, "I've got places to be."
That earns him a laugh.
There's an odd itch at the base of Obi-Wan's skull. One that crawls all the down his spine.
There's a secret in his throat he can't seem to swallow.
There's a low husky voice in the back of his mind counting down to a beautiful boy's thirty-minute lunch break.
"But that's more than enough time isn't it?"
He should leave.
Walk right out to the car and drive to Dex's alone exactly the way his son thinks he will.
"See you later, Dad!"
"Enough time for Daddy to fuck me—"
But, today, Obi-Wan just can't seem to say No.
[part one][part two]
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eldragon-x · 21 hours ago
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Gonna write out this idea that Silver inspired in me in a post because I'm not sure I'll get around to actually writing a fic for it and I just need more people to think about Mirabelle and Odile moments with me.
I've brought up before that it's kinda insane that Odile pulled out a spell that stopped Siffrin from looping back in time. Like whatever she used here is able to interact with Time Craft, which itself would normally kill the user.
So I think it's quite possible that she herself might suffer craft exhaustion as a result of this. Add on that the party had to run through the distorted House at night to catch up with Siffrin and that Odile isn't the most physically fit person at her age.
But maybe she pushes that aside. Siffrin was hit harder by Craft Sickness, everyone was concerned about him, the party decided to leave Dormont rather sooner than later for their sake, she can handle it.
But it does catch up to her soon enough after a long day of the party fighting their way through Sadnesses and making it to an Inn by the evening. She's tired, her body hurts, she feels ill, and she's bruised and dirty from the battles, not helped by her performance already dwindling since the party left Dormont.
So she's sitting on her bed, dizzy and aching, wishing she could take the opportunity to take a bath but feeling too weak to do so. It affects her to the point where Mirabelle can tell that she's not doing well and asks if she can help her in any way.
Odile admits at this point that maybe she didn't give herself enough rest since that day in Dormont and that she's frustrated because she can't do much at all right now. And now that she brought it up, she wonders if Mirabelle is alright, since she also performed a powerful spell that day.
Mira appreciates the concern, but assures Odile she's doing okay. The shield spell was complicated, but not so exhausting that she wouldn't have recovered over a good night's sleep. Moreso she feels rather guilty for not having checked up on Odile earlier.
All that being said, she offers to help Odile bathe. Being a healer and having spent a lot of time studying about anything in the House of Dormont, I imagine she has some degree of medical training and trusts herself to handle people.
Odile gets tense but weighting her options, decides it's probably the most logical step here and she'd rather Mira assists her than anyone else. It turns into a bit of a back and forth of them trying to assure each other that they don't have to if they're uncomfortable, but Odile wants to be practical and refresh herself, and Mirabelle can take the innitiative when she needs to and at worst will feel slightly awkward about helping someone she knows personally in such a vulnerable position.
Odile actually feels a lot more embarrassed about the whole situation because it's strange having to rely on someone notably younger than herself after essentially assigning herself as the Adult™️ of the party looking out for everyone else. But Mira doesn't hesitate, gets straight to the point, and after helping Odile settle, she stays to sit down next to the bathub in case Odile needs help reaching something or getting out, make sure she doesn't fall asleep and goes under, and tries to ease the tension for her by bringing up a book she's been reading.
Odile is surprised to hear that Mira's into horror literature but gets genuinely invested which helps her relax. Mira ends up convincing Odile to borrow one of her books and jokes that she will have to read through it while the party decides to stay at the inn for the following week so she can recover.
Odile's tempted to protest the suggestion that they should stop for over a week, just for her, but drops it. The party can take their time now, that the curse isn't threatening the country anymore. She supposes they also did promise to look out for each other, she just didn't think she'd need to rely on anyone else.
On Mira's insistence, Odile gets bed rest for the following days, with the rest of the party helping her get whatever she needs, while she picks up Mirabelle's book whenever she can.
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tgmsunmontue · 2 days ago
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From the top 5/6
IceMav, (eventual) Explicit, (background Hangster who are already established). Set post-TGM. (No dead Ice obviously).
CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR
PART FIVE
              When he wakes he goes through the postcards again, runs his fingers along the edges and finds himself just smiling at them. Some of them he remembers being with Pete when he found them, his excitement and encyclopedic knowledge of some of the catalogues and print runs. Propaganda postcards he’d called them, tongue in cheek as he’d grinned up at Tom while they’d been on various shore leaves. He might have a few himself, hidden away in a locked drawer that he supposes is redundant now that Pete knows how he feels.
              He stretches in his bed, rolling out to the side and then rolling his neck, feels everything click and crunch and pulls a face. There isn’t pain in any of his joints, but some of them are definitely stiffer than he’d like. He uses the bathroom and then pulls on a t-shirt before shuffling off downstairs, his desire for coffee growing. He turns the coffee maker on, walks out to fetch the paper in bare feet, shakes it out. It’s nice to be home, sleep in his own bed, be up early but with nowhere he needs to go. Until later.
              He’s halfway through his mug of coffee when he hears the front door open and there are only a handful of people that wouldn’t even knock first. One person in fact. His heart rate picks up and he licks his lips, isn’t really prepared to see him. He’s in a pair of almost threadbare sleep pants he’s had for over a decade and a t-shirt of a similar nature. He’d have made a little more effort if he knew Mav was coming over.
              “Ice! You up?”
              “Yes… hi,” Tom says, stepping into sight from the study where he’d laid out the paper on his desk.
              “Morning,” Maverick says, and Tom is fairly certain he doesn’t blush as Pete’s eyes sweep over his body, but he does shift a little, but he’s pretty sure he’s seeing open appreciation in his gaze, and that’s definitely a new and novel thing. Maybe he doesn’t need to worry about putting in too much effort after all… “Yeah. Hi. Sleep well?”
              “Yes. I thought I wasn’t seeing you until later?”
              “Yeah, no, well, I couldn’t wait to see you. Um. I hope that’s okay. I brought bagels…”
              “Of course you did…”
              “You can’t live off coffee alone…”
              They stand there looking at each other, the quiet stretching but it doesn’t feel uncomfortable or awkward. They just seem to simply be drinking the sight of each other in and he wonders… wants…
              “Mav… Pete…”
              “Can… look… can you kiss me? I know everyone thinks that I’m the risk taker but –”
              Tom swallows, carefully places his mug down and licks his lips before he’s stepping forward and cupping Mav’s face in his hands, knows he’s reading this right even if Pete hadn’t just asked for him to kiss him.
              “I love you…”
              He slides his mouth over Pete’s, doesn’t let him get a word in which is a nice change. Even if a small part of him is a little worried that Pete might not say the words back. It shouldn’t matter, but it does. So much. He’s loved Pete over half his lifetime. Is glad that they’ve had that back and forth recently because it’s giving him the much-needed confidence to do this.
              This is sucking Mav’s bottom lip and then licking over it, letting his teeth nibble a little and then Mav is kissing back, fingers of one hand scratching through Tom’s hair and pulling, holding him closer to kiss while the other is on his waist, fingers there curling into the fabric of his t-shirt like he’s worried Tom might want to be anywhere but here. He pulls back and lets his forehead rest against Maverick’s, leaves his eyes closed and just lets himself feel Mav’s warm humid breath against his skin.
              “First kiss…” Tom whispers softly.
              “First of many.”
              Then Pete’s kissing him, pressing against him and Tom can feel every line of him through the thin fabric of what he’s wearing. The roughness of his jeans, the suppleness of his jacket and he wants to push it off, has thought, fantasized, about pushing Mav’s jacket off his shoulders and he reaches for the collar, pushes it back and then moves to suck at the skin of Pete’s neck. Doesn’t miss the way Mav’s entire body jerks against his and he licks and sucks a path back to his mouth.
              “Tom Tom Tom…”
              It’s his new favorite sound, Maverick chanting his name in a breathy way he’s never heard before.
              “Let me… are you… do you have somewhere you need to be?”
              “Shit. I actually have a meeting with someone just after midday.”
              “And we’re still doing dinner at the hangar?”
              “Yeah. Got a few things I want to show you.”
              He raises an eyebrow and Pete laughs. He laughs with his entire body and it floods him with warmth. He wants to wrap his arms around him and kiss him again, wonders if he should try. Take a leaf out of Mav’s playbook and just do, so he leans forward and is met halfway by eager lips and hands that tug at his shirt.
              “Pete, Mav, we don’t…”
              “Midday is still over four hours away.”
              “You want to rush this?”
              “Is it really rushing?”
              Tom supposes that it’s really not, regardless of whether they count by his years or the last few weeks. But…
              “I’d like for you to not have to get up and leave me alone in my bed… if you do have somewhere you have to be.”
              “Okay. Yeah. I don’t think I’d want to leave you either… I love you too, you know. I didn’t get to tell you before… you’re very, uh, distracting.”
              He didn’t know, but he does now and he grins.
              “Come on, lets have breakfast and then make out on the sofa until you have to go…”
…          …          …
              Pete is used to feeling like he has electricity under his skin. Having Tom touch him makes it light up even more than usual and he tries not to think about years wasted. It’s fine, all of that has brought them together now and he will make the most of every moment. He pulls out his phone and opens the last string of messages. Start tapping out a new one while he waits for the woman he’s meant to be meeting at the airstrip.
>>Told him I loved him.
>>Making him dinner tonight.
>>Scared shitless to be honest.
>>He loves you back.
>>You could feed him trail rations and he’d be happy.
>>What’s scaring you?
>>I don’t want to disappoint him.
>>You could never do that. Not about this Mav.
              It’s not like he didn’t know he’s been talking to Ice the whole time, but he smiles at him calling him Mav anyway. He’s had his meeting, top secret and he knows he has a finite window and is very glad he currently has a considerable amount of goodwill with Cyclone for what he plans to do. Doesn’t care what anyone else thinks so he’s definitely doing it as soon as he can.
              He looks around the hangar, pleased with what he sees. Through the combined efforts of the Daggers it is a changed space, and he knows Fanboy and Payback are mainly to thank, although he knows Bradley and Hangman kept the workers fed and watered. He has a working kitchen and a meal that even an eight-year-old could cook. That’s what Penny had told him. Then she’d shoved an air fryer into his hands and told him it was going to be his new best friend.
              Steak. Potatoes. Salad.
              She’s right. He can’t muck that up. He’s been feeding himself for years and not done too badly. He’s alive isn’t he? The salad is already made and in the fridge. The potatoes are ready to be put in the air fryer, and Penny has given him step by step instructions on what to do. Then it’s just cooking the steaks.
              Now all he has to do is wait.
              Which is the hardest part, not something that comes naturally to him, so he’s so relieved when Ice sends him a message asking if it’s okay if he comes out earlier than planned. His response is immediate and affirmative. Now he just has to wait for him to get here. He reorganizes his tools, wipes down the work benches and then goes upstairs to the bed and makes sure the supplies he bought earlier are all still there. How or why they would have suddenly gone he has no fucking clue, but he’s nervous anyway.
              Then he hears it, the gentle rumble of Ice’s car and he sucks in a breath and lets it out slowly before going down the steps and heading outside. He waits for Ice to get out, but that’s more than long enough and he’s in his space, pressing up against him and smiling, head tilted up for a kiss and Ice doesn’t disappoint, one of his arms going around Pete’s waist and then he’s pressed between Ice and his car. One of Ice’s thighs is between his legs, he grinds against it as they kiss and he tries to remember what he was nervous about.
              Ice is dressed in slack and a long sleeve button down, completely impractical for the hangar environment and he pulls the shirt from where it’s tucked in so he can get his hands on skin. Of course Ice is wearing an undershirt and he mutters under his breath even as he feels Ice smile and chuckle against his neck. He’s been carrying a low-level arousal with him all day, since he spent nearly three hours making out with Ice, pressed up against the long line of his body. The same body that’s now pressing him against the hard metal of the car, and he wonders if they could do this against the Mustang… Ice would likely indulge him.
              Right now he doesn’t want to move, unless it’s harder and firmer against Ice’s body, and he kisses him back, lips still feeling sensitive from that morning and he knows he’ll get used to it, but right now the novelty is making his entire body thrum with energy. The heat from the afternoon sun seems lukewarm compared to the hot press of Ice’s body and he’s quickly shifting to fully hard but then Ice is pulling back. He lips are pink and shiny-slick with spit, eyes bright and pupils blown wide with arousal and he looks fucking gorgeous so he says as much and then gets to see Ice blush and he reaches up to run a thumb over the apple of his cheek.
              “You, uh, wanted to show me something?”
              “Uh, well… everything,” Pete says, and he laces his fingers in Ice’s hand, brings it to his mouth so he can kiss his knuckles and then walks him toward the hangar. He’s steps inside and waves a hand around, when he turns back to Ice he grins at the slightly shocked expression.
              “Mav… Pete… when did all this happen?”
              “Last couple of weeks. I, uh, had a little help. A lot of help actually. Got the kitchen finished, a proper bed… I figured… um. Brand new bed for a brand new beginning.”
              He winces a little at how cheesy it sounds, but Ice has seen him pick up before, and he’s not trying to pick Ice up. Is a lot more interested in something forever with him than he ever has been with anyone else.
              “I thought I could turn the trailer into an office for you. Gives you privacy and air conditioning while I…”
              “You did all of this… for me?”
              “Who else?”
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worldly-fluster · 17 hours ago
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Snapdragon
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Dragon!Sylus x non-mc! Reader
AND
Sylus x non-mc Reader
Part 3 of ?
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(Each Part looks different in the beginning lolol oh well)
---
I sat waiting for a while, this is the first time in the few days I have been here that I've been left alone...the longest time in a little over a year that I've been without my Snapdragon.
Being left with my thoughts and memories, I can't help but think. With nothing and no one to distract me.
-**
"What do you think of this?"
I held up a small dragon doll I made from a blanket Sylus accidentally tore up with his claws in his sleep.
"...what is it supposed to be?"
"It's supposed to be a dragon...does it look bad?"
Sylus lifted the limp, lumpy dragon from my hands to see it closer.
"Hm...not bad but why would you do this?"
"Bored mostly, and this little dragon can keep me company when you're busy."
"Well I'm here right now."
He threw the little lumpy dragon to the side.
"There's no need for any other dragon."
---
"How did that...song go again?"
"Hm?"
"The one about Stargazing...intertwining souls?"
"Ah, it's one of my favorites. It goes like...hm..."
"Hm?"
"No give me a second I'm trying to remember the words for the chorus...ah! Got it, ahem..."
Sylus kept his attentive gaze on me as I sang the chorus, and tried to remember the rest of the song.
"Take my heart don't break it, love me to my bones. All this time I wasted, you were right there all along. You and I stargazing, intertwining souls. We were never strangers, you were right there all along."
"...more?"
"That's...all I remember off the top of my head, sorry."
"Don't be sorry...I liked it."
---
"Snapdragon~"
"Hm?"
"I might need some new clothes...these ones are kinda..."
"What's wrong with your clothes?"
I held up a dirt covered sweater, the shirt I was wearing torn and stained, my pants no better. I felt stinky and dirty, I really wanted- more like needed, new clothes.
"What's wrong with the garments you have now?"
He didn't see a problem with your attire, he actually kinda liked your natural smell that clung to the cloth covering you. Of course he did, he was a dragon first and foremost. Also, you didn't need anything fancy, it wasn't like there were any people you needed to dress for.
"I...I feel gross. If I stay in these much longer I might even get sick."
As soon as you said 'sick' he immediately started moving to get up. He didn't want you to get sick, that would be troublesome.
"I will go get you something."
"Thank you Sylus."
---
I lay, spread out in my little area Sylus let's me occupy, not knowing what to do...
"I'm doing nothing because nothing is doing me."
Sylus sits up and stares incredulously at my prone form.
"...what?"
"Did you know that the Egyptians thought the most significant thing you can do in life is die?"
Sylus stared with wide eyes for a moment before huffing and sprawling out next to me.
"There's something wrong with you..."
"Yep."
---
For some reason today, Sylus was acting...weird.
He wouldn't look me in the face, if he did it wasn't for long, and when I would do something his eyes almost always followed me.
When I asked about it he just responded, "Nothing."
I gave up after a while and went on to do my own thing...but boredom found me quick.
In my boredom, because he wasn't talking much, I thought maybe he would look pretty with some jewels hanging from his horns.
As I got close to him, he had his back to me but when he heard me coming he slightly turned his head to see what I was up to.
I stopped just a bit away from him and asked-
"Can I play with your hair again?"
A minute later I found myself seated next to him. He was laying on his stomach with his face in mine, his arms curled around me slightly. There was a slight rumble coming from his chest as I played with his hair and rubbed the base of his horns. He hardly noticed me loosely hanging jewelry from his horns, and if he did he didn't show it.
After I was done, I gently pulled his face from my stomach, my hands on either side of his face. I smiled when I saw his half lidded eyes and small frown on his face because I stopped playing with his hair.
I lightly squeezed his face, making his lips pucker and his eyebrows furrowed.
"You're so...ugh!"
I couldn't handle the way he was being adorable and planted a kiss on his nose, making him widen his eyes and go crosseyed.
That alone was too cute, once again, so I peppered his face with many more kisses. The cuteness aggression getting to me.
He grunted but didn't make to move away as he closed his eyes. His heart fluttering faster than he's used to. He didn't know what to do as you continued your affectionate tryst.
He could get used to this.
-**
While remembering those moments, ones I wish lasted forever, I didn't realize there were tears falling down my face.
I was knocked from my memories when I heard a cawing from above, right before the fluttering of crow wings as Mephisto landed on the bench beside me.
Caw! Caw?
I wiped my face, trying and failing to hide my tears.
"I'm okay, I'm okay...just remembering some stuff."
I let out a sad chuckle as Mephisto waddled closer.
"Maybe even a little homesick but... it's okay."
I gently held out my hand to lightly run the back of my fingers on his feathery chest. His smooth feathers soothing my whirlwind of thoughts.
"Is it though?"
I heard a deep, familiar voice behind me, startling me a bit.
Letting out a noise of surprise I turned around, my wide eyes landing on a familiar face that lacked the dark scales I was used to. My heart thumped in my chest uncomfortably.
"...Sylus...right?"
He chuckled as he nodded slightly.
"And...MC if I'm not mistaken. You aren't the MC I know though."
"No."
"I heard from Mephisto that you knew a Sylus before?"
"Oh um yeah, I did..."
"... Interesting. Tell me more on the ride."
He took a step to the side, letting me get a full view of the fancy sports car behind him.
Strange, I thought he rode motorcycles?
"I normally have a different ride, but I think the privacy of a car is much needed at this time."
He holds out his large, pale hand.
"Come."
***Sorry it's short lol it's more of a filler chapter***
@poptrim @lavvytae
I think that's all the tags I have RN lol ❤️
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justmochi · 20 hours ago
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finally decided to go back and read this and actually take my own advice.
i wrote this at a time where i hadn’t experienced a real earth shattering heartbreak. i wrote it with only assumptions i’ve seen my entire life. i’ve seen friends and family go through breakups, i’ve had shit hurled at me my entire life and so i tried to formulate it into something that i could understand. i thought if maybe i had taken all my sufferings and multiplied it by hundreds that i might be able to capture jenns pain.
i wrote this in 2020-2021 i think? but 4 years later and ive finally faced that earth shattering heartbreak i tried my best to convey and all i can really say is that i was pretty close with my intellect at the time, but i was still pretty far off.
talking about more serious things-
there have been nights i’ve wanted to die. nights i’ve drowned myself with all the alcohol i could handle. sometimes i wanted to numb the pain, and sometimes i just wanted it to end completely. when i look back on things, i know that the breakup was inevitable. even months prior he instilled such anxiety in me that i’d want to go out and drink with friends just to be able to approach the situation without coming off as a coward. but when things finally came to a peak, my first resort wasn’t even to drink, i had just wanted to die. it was so bad, im convinced that a part of me died that night. i honestly felt like i was losing the other half of me. there’s always gonna be a hole in me, never going to be filled, it may shrink and be healed little by little, but it’s always going to be there.
it’s been a rough past couple months. i’ve spent so much time going back and analyzing every past conversation we’ve had and get so sad. i’ve had countless dreams since then and they’re all bad. i didn’t think i’d be losing my soulmate in 2024. we had our future all planned out and talked about having grey hair together. i never imagined myself as someone who would be distrustful, but i’ve acquired trust issues. i keep my inner circle tiny now, it’s all i can really trust in at this point. i’ve taken up hobbies, such as reading (tbh nothing new but i read plenty more physical books than i have my entire life), i journal, cook and bake) play games and watch movies/shows just to keep my mind busy. it’s been hard but i’ve been doing my best to heal my mind and heart. healing is a journey and it’s hard, there’s no timeframe or one correct way to do it, but i’m figuring out what works for me. i had gotten to the point where i finally had to do right by myself, put myself first.
my dms are always open if you need to chat. treat yourself with love and care because you are the most important person in your life.
Kids talk about heartbreak with Jenn
pairing :: jenn x kids
word count :: 1.1k
synopsis :: jenn sits down to talk about her experience with heartbreak to kids.
warnings :: mentions of breakup, trouble eating and staying healthy, angst(?)
a/n :: based on odg’s channel. tbh this isn’t even just for kids if you’re going through a breakup, take jenn’s advice!!!
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“Hi there,” Jenn smiled as a young boy came onto the set, sitting across from her at the table. He flashed her a shy grin, bowing his head.
“Hello.”
“What’s your name?”
“Hyunwoo.” He fiddled with his fingers under the table.
“Ahh, Hyunwoo? That’s such a handsome name.” She offered her hand, allowing him to shake hers. “My name is Jenn.”
“Jenn?” He raised his eyebrows.
Keep reading
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missmarveledsblog · 2 days ago
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I gotcha cap (Steve Rogers x reader) part three
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Summary: He needs to make it right but she isnt letting him even near her so he get help off of their friends .
warning : slight angst , fluffy , goofy , idiots in love , mutual pinning
previous part
the blinding sun that had instantly regretted not closing the blind before she hit went to bed. not knowing what hurt more was it her head that thump and felt like it was gonna explode . was it her pride on being stood up on her not date date . she may of snuck out of the room once was sure he was gone . headed to the living room , importantly using her ability to burn the lock off of the liquor cabinet. She didn't stay undetected for too long for Tony to come see what she was doing and then an hour later Natasha was joining them . Now she was sure her blood was more alcohol than it was actually blood, stumbling from her bed . Pulling the shades on her eyes she dragged herself from the bed , stumbling down the hall to the dinning room to see both Natasha and Tony in the same state as she was .
“ You're a bad influence” the billionaire groaned his head laying on the table .
“ I did not influence you , you asked me to pour you a glass” she yawned sitting down ignoring a certain pair of blue eyes looking at her .
“ yeah cause your were sad anyways let not do it again” he couldn't even look at her it was too much of an effort.
I guess it laps today, your new recruit huh ?” clint nudged Natasha making her growl at the man but then nod .
“ whos the new recruit “ she asked looking up finally a slight catching of steve glance forcing herself to look at nat.
“ that jessica chick right?” sam spoke up .
“ yeah i think and some drills too once i can just observe” nat gave a sneaky smirk.
“ well good luck .. i'm not so hungry “ she stood, taking a cup of coffee and rushing out of the room.
“ y/n hey wait please” steve called rushing after her.
“ just leave me alone steve , my head hurts and I think i might throw up so lets just pretend nothing happened ok … please” she sighed.
“ but i didn't mean to stand you up i would of never of did that , she turned off my phone and kept telling me i still had time even showed me hers so i trusted her word and now i fucked up honestly of all people to let down and hurt you are not even close to being one of them” .
“ you did though , you made me look like such an idiot , you made me think … look it doesn't matter, maybe in time we can be friends but can you just let me breathe to do so?” she almost pleaded.
“ i wanna make it up to you please give me a second chance , please all im asking “
“ no i don't think we should ” .
she spent the day staring at the computer , trying to work in the lab with the bright lights was a bad idea now she was in her office , the lights dimmed and although the hangover was dimming and some of nats “drills” training made her mood a lot better. the petty side of her enjoy the soft torture of the bitchy agent and it sure wiped the sneering smile off ofhier face . now what she didn’t expect was the widow coming to the office hours later pulling her out of the room and dressing her up , not saying a word the whole time other than “stop whining “ or “ no feeling sorry for yourself “. probably a girl dinner night or something to cheer her up . begrudgingly she just followed even in the car , they talked about everything but the friendly hostage situation til they pulled up to well nothing .
“ you planning on killing me because joke on you it mean i wont have to do my reports “ she smirked.
“ no im doing this because I love you and you need to be happy and Tony's liver would be grateful” the widow kissed her cheek and led her to a footpath . “ now its down here straight ahead” .
“ ok this is only fueling my fear of you trying to kill me romanoff , hey in a wooded area where i could leave all this evidence and you know …. nat ? “ she turned to see the widow gone completely. "So I am gonna die “ she groaned. ok so now she was maybe more curious just following the footpath til she noticed red. that had her on alert , into action as she stop her feet lighter moving , eyes darting around to access any threat. now she was slightly afraid the bew recruit was gonna be at the end of this footpath and she was gonna be an accessory to murder.
“ oh thank god “ the breath of relief as she notice it wasnt blood but petal followed by more til the whole footpath was covered in these red petals .
the whole thing only made sense once she reached the clearing and now maybe she would be the one to hide a few bodies now .
There he stood in the clearing around the man where lights wrapped around the beauty of nature . a picnic table in the center with the same lights wrapped around the legs , her favourite flowers in the center. She wanted to hide how impressed she was. For a moment it wouldn't seem possible til she straightened herself up , crossing her arms trying not to smile or give anything away . including how good the man looked before her, the white dress shirt and black pants combo making him look like he stepped out of some steamy romance novel , the way the material of his clothes clung to the muscle she's found herself literally drooling over.
“ Please sit down?” pleading tone as she rolled her eyes and stepped more into the clearing saw the scorched mark still prominent in the ground. it was first time she had shown them her abilities , the one she had to hide all her life in persecution .
“ What is all this?”.
“ I wanted to make it up to you .. with nat's help of course … please just one chance” he came closer .
“ You seem to making a lot of effort for a not date” she mused while looking around .
“ well let this actual date make up for it” .
“ is this because of the not drunk confession because a pity date isn't necessary” she huffed wondering how her week took such a nose dive.
it's not a pity date its an actual i like you too date and dont wanna screw up “
“ touch of kidnapping” she nodded, not hiding the smirk on her lips .
“ with a touch of kidnapping, “ he laughed.
“ Fine I yield mainly because i'm hungry and I thought nat was feeding me “ she watched him pulling out the basket pulling out the canister and the tupperware .
“ ok food might be cold “ he winced, opening the tubs and putting the contents on a plate .
“ i got it “ she rolled her eyes over the plates for a couple of seconds as steam began to bellow . “ it help when i was younger” she shrugged easily, handing him back one .
“ ok so canister has coffee or we have wine” .
“ coffee i don't think i could look at alcohol for a good while “ she laughed flashback of her and tony drinking games . “ So why here?” .
“ honestly it was the first place we got to see you for you , like the real you” her breath caught in her throat at his admission . “ you were so scared and so nervous but then you opened up , i always wondered why , why you were so scared”.
“ because i was taught to be , because the world taught me to be.. i mean unless you're an avenger or some high profiled hero , mutants or enhanced whatever you're side of that fence is, well it not something to celebrate it was and still is something people find to fear and with fear comes hate” she smiled sadly. “ my dad as crazy as he was , well he wasn't all wrong , we lived in chicago for a little until i thought my friend would accept me so i showed her what i could do and then that evening we had people yelling outside our home for the mutants to leave i was four when i learn what hate was truly and very real so when we moved to new york , my mom was chased down, hunted down and my dad began training soldiers for doomsday”.
“ that's why it took you so long to tell us you were enhanced” he asked not even noticing he grabbed her hand , the subconscious need to comfort the woman in front of him .
“ i know it's stupid to think giving wanda and pietro” she laughed. “ but yeah i think that fear or rejection was still there except tony stark lit up like a christmas tree at the sight” .
“ wheres your dad now? maybe you could show him its not like that now right”.
“ hes on the raft steve its still like that for him , i ran away i was maybe fourteen i didnt wanna live my life in fear and not live it at all “ she smiled sadly . “ great first kidnapping date content right here” she snorted .
“ we can talk about something else if you want,” he squeezed her hand .
“ no i mean i come to terms with it all , but i am curious why you didn't ask for me help?” .
“ honestly because you make me nervous , like when i talk to you suddenly i'm that small fry from brooklyn who couldn't look a dame in the eye and i mean you come into our lives with this air about you , this funny yet caring nature , you work hard to make sure everything run smoothly and you only one who can truly handle tony “ he smiled brightly.
“ pepper asked me for tips. Well, praise from the america's golden boy is nice. I must admit , I've learned to just be myself” her cheeks flushed.
“ also doesn't help that your most beautiful woman i've come across either, you must think i'm a dummy when i take to you because you make my brain short circuit by just smiling i mean the words just mix and melt together “ a braveness taking over like he couldn't stop, all the feelings that he held in for so long falling out of his mouth before he could stop .
“ you dont seem to have a problem with words now ? “ she giggled even freezing at the sound like was that her ?.
“well i guess i need to let it out now hopefully it will get you to forgive me, i only trained that agent hoping i could help and get over my nervousness because i was going to work up the courage to tell you how i really felt so i stupidly thought i could work through them by getting the blood pumping i didn't see the scheming part i guess i need lesson in people “ he grimaced .
“ Well I mean the food and coffee is working on the forgiveness so it this get up “ she mused hinting at his outfit making his cheeks flush . “ stand me up again date or not I will roast you up and serve you on that shield of , tony liver can't take it … apparently” she warned playfully .
“ well that wont happen and if i may say you look absolutely stunning “ he kissed her knuckles getting braver .
“ flattery will get you everywhere mr rogers but you can thank nat for this she literally dressed and dragged me here , im less mad at her for it “ .
She wasn't lying when she said that she was less pissed at him , conversation carried on more and more . she shared a little bit more of her childhood , the little handful of happy memories ,while he shared some of his from his childhood, a vast and different time . She couldn't help laughing thinking back to the hijinks that he and Bucky got up in that timezone . She asked him questions , getting to know the man behind the shield . Each minute , each hour passing by it was easier to get over that anger she felt but it also meant that he was getting braver , more flirty in his tone . Even when they finished their food he hit his phone as the speaker came to life . The blue jazz sound echoed in the woods . making the man stand before her holding his hand out that her . enjoying how perfect her hand fit in his , how his hand dwarfed hers . standing the crinkle of the foliage under their feet , his other hand on her hip pulling her closer. the swell of pride at her breath hitched at the bold movement . the sway of bodies to the rhythm and getting lost in the love story the song sang out. eyes locked pouring every unsaid emotion . he held her close in away that he was afraid to let her go, everything hes dreamed of was happening in real time. the first time he'd truly felt peace in the stormy war that was his life . the fist time it was serene that he could fully completely savour and enjoy the moment. his eye darted to her lips only to catch her doing the same, her tongue swiping the pillow plump soft lips . two leaning closer and closer til their foreheads pressed. a surge of bravery one he never felt before taking his hand off her hip and leading to cup her cheek , tilting her face up more before he leaned down .
At first it took her brain a second to recognise , to make the connection that captain Steven Grant Rogers was kissing her. not wasting another second she finally kissed the man back for the first time in a long time. It made sense . all the cliches from every romance book , rom com in existence, that foot popping , fire works going off kiss. seeing the sun rise and set for the first time kind of kiss. One that only starred in her dream and stopped when her alarm would go off. Everything felt electric in that one kiss , like nerves came alive ones she didn't even know she had . pulling back both needing air and yet he couldn't stop kissing her , pecking her lips in between breaths already addicted to her lip , to her taste .
“ god you don't know how long i wanted to do that “ he chuckled breathlessly, his forehead pressing against hers.
“ Don't worry I gotcha Cap “ she smirked pressing her lips to his once more
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koscheys-skull · 2 days ago
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Bullying, Mean, and Honest Truths About Spirituality
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Under the cut is an honest and crude description based off of my own bias and opinion of new people joining Spiritual practises, the occult, or seeking magic and mysticism.
So you want to start practising the Occult.
You are drawn to the idea of Mysticism, Magic, the Occult, and “Witchcraft”. Let me say that again, but louder.
You.
Are Drawn.
To the IDEA Of Mysticism, Magic, the Occult and “Witchcraft.
A lot of people like the idea of pets.
Pets are fun! You get a cat or a dog and they hang around and you imagine yourself going for long walks or hikes with a canine companion, or sitting at home and enjoying the company of a furry feline. Maybe it isn’t a dog or a cat or a common household pet. Maybe you want a bird! They are fun, right?
You see people on the internet through videos on whatever platform you’re wasting your hours on. You fantasize about what you would do or have. You spend hours entertaining this fantasy while looking at everyone else’s lives and situations.
You are drawn to the idea of something.
And then you ignore the important detail that these things require work, time, and dedication.
The Occult is just like people and pets.
There’s more people that i know that should not have pets than people that I know are responsible pet owners.
This, for me, is the same with the occult. Only, if you choose to neglect the Occult practise you claim to be drawn to, there isn’t really a penalty like a vet bill or a dead creature that you were supposed to be responsible for, for your negligence.
“Oh, I’ll just pick a “class” like an RPG and I’ll roll with it.”
Will you though? Will you dedicate the time and energy to do research on the subject matter you claim to be interested in? And not only will you give it the time and energy to just begin with the research, but will you also put in the dedication to put it into practice?
Be realistic with yourself. What are you actually going to do? Are you capable of maintaining routines and managing yourself and keeping up with the demands of the occult? Or are you just whimsically interested in it because it sounds “cool” and you had some friends in school that played with some tarot cards so now you think you’re a witch.
Let’s pretend you do actually have the self control and discipline to dedicate yourself to a spiritual path and practise. Let’s pretend you have that kind of integrity (but let’s be honest, you and I both know that’s a load of wash.)
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Most likely, you’re coming from an Abrahamic Background, aren’t you? In the least, you’ve spent a lot of your life surrounded by vaguely misshapen ideas of “some sort of binary system where there’s good and bad spirits” or something or another and demons might be a thing? You don’t really know. But you took a class once that talked about Greek and Roman gods or maybe the Norse and Celtic gods, so you know there’s Gods out there! So that’s a START! Let’s go!!!!!!!!
You can just pick a god and run with it, right? Like, who cares? Just pick what makes you go “Yeah that’s neat and cool. I’ll take this out for a spin.” and pretend that you’re somehow deeply connected to this being. You read something or another about this deity or this pantheon at some point or another (or something like that). Just google search and read the Wikipedia page and waste a few more hours on it till you’re a Reddixpert on it! You have everything you need and a few days later you throw down a candle and incense and you’re blown away by feeling a strong connection to this god! HOLY COW! It’s working?! Let’s face it, you’ve not been connected to anything at all in your self obsessed life for a long time. So you think it’s “Special” when you get an answer. It’s not.
Sorry, sugar. You’re not special. You’re not a little special little sugar plum fairy that is adored by the gods. Because, believe it or not, you have to build relationships. But not just that, you’ve just pulled a “White Person” move. Most likely, you didn’t consult with or have any discussions with practitioners of the ethnicity and belief system you are interested in. Nor did you research the culture and how the religious and spiritual beliefs of those people manifest. I would suggest you learned some or a little bit or even all of the language of the people that the religion belonged to, but let’s be honest again with one another, you don’t have that in you for sure. You chose to take a God from a Pantheon and chose to take it entirely out of context. Congratulations! You pulled a White Colonialism Move so good that you took it to a spiritual level!
What? You thought you could just pick whoever from wherever and just rip them out of their culture, place, language, and people and water it down till it suited you? What is this, Wicca?
It might be! If this sounds like your idea of fun, check out Wicca. They’re full of it. You have gods from across all seas (Except for some reason the Pacific? Not sure if it’s a weird Asian racism problem or if they’re just focusing on everything the British Empire stole from) being Shipped together like smutty fanfiction. It’s insane. Anubis and the Morrigan are having babies every year, I guess, and their child, who’s always a Son, is the next Cernunnos who is also Pan but also Hades and also is Thor every third life (or something, I don’t know I’m not Wiccan).
What, you didn’t think that you actually had to respect a culture and the people that a religion belongs to? What are you, a pilfering bandit? There’s a right way and a wrong way to do these things. But what’s important is that you have to be honest.
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Yeah that’s a big word. “Honesty”.
How honest are you with yourself? How true are you to what you think you can achieve and accomplish? Are you really going to read all of those books and write notes and document things? Are you really going to make a whole entire lifestyle change that surrounds and accommodates the culture, belief systems, and structures of a culture’s religion and beliefs? Are you? Are you really? If you make the change, are you going to commit to the change? Or, in a few weeks or months are you going to revert right back to the way you’ve always lived your life?
Again. This is the difference between enjoying the idea of something versus actually doing the work. And that is what the occult is. It is work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. It is putting you on the grindstone and making you both rethink, reshape, and re-evaluate your entire being. It is going to make you uncomfortable. It is going to challenge you. It is meant to help you grow and be better. And growth doesn’t happen when you’re being spoon fed off of a lace spoon. Your idea of what things are is going to be challenged.
That’s another word that has a tendency to throw people out of the Occult. Challenge.
If you’re new to the Occult, you’re going to have to learn a critical skill that, in my opinion, very few possess.
Everyone wants to be “right”. It sucks when you’re wrong. How well do you handle it when someone corrects you. Let’s be honest. It’s awkward. It’s embarrassing. Everyone wants to be right. YOUR PRIDE IS SENSITIVE DAMNIT!
You’re a sensitive snowflake and you need to be swaddled in soft cashmere and reassured that you’re perfect because of course you are, sugar-pie.
But we have to touch some grass and live in reality. Yeah, I know the occult feels like you’re indulging a fantasy, but it’s not. Spiritual practises and spiritual beliefs are real things that have real people of many different cultures and languages and walks of life. And these practises are not just little badges and stickers you can throw on a water bottle and make yourself feel like a “Validated Witchy Bitch, Baby! ‘Cause we’re Feminist and COOL.”
(And by the way, you are not “The Daughters of the Witches you Couldn’t Burn”. Get fucked, you uneducated slut.)
You are going to have to approach everything, and yes I mean everything, with the air of caution in your heart and mind that says “Maybe I do not know what I am talking about.”
This is almost impossible for some (haha just kidding it’s pretty much everyone. I’m guilty of failing at this sometimes myself), to approach everything that someone says with an air of “Maybe this person knows more than me.”
When you engage with other people and you give them the space to speak about a subject that they are educated in, always be open. You must be so open that you automatically assume that you know nothing about the subject that someone is going to educate you on. Assume you have no education at all. And then listen. Yeah, I said it. You have to listen.
Listening??? To someone else??? Telling you what’s what???? Are you kidding me? What is this, a Learning Experience?
Yes, Yes it is you poor summer child. It is a learning experience. And if you can’t be bothered to learn and to try and learn then you’re not going to make it.
And if you can’t be bothered to listen, to read, to do work, to give effort, and to re-evaluate yourself constantly, you are not going to make it.
So make the choice.
Commit. Or walk away.
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No one is going to think poorly of you for admitting that you’re not cut out for this.
But everyone. Everyone you interact with that is a real practitioner with a real lifestyle that encompasses their spiritual practise (because, surprise! The spiritual and the Mundane are intertwined in a very close and intimate way for practitioners) will be able to sniff you out from a mile away and know that you’re not worth your own salt.
It’s okay to be “casual” in some circumstances. It’s okay to be “subtle” or to follow paths that are more accommodating to your needs. That’s fine. Don’t get me wrong. This is a high energy and very taxing experience. There are paths that are accommodating to your needs and your degree or spoons, your laziness, or your life conditions. (I’m inclusive, dammit. Some people are disabled. Some are just fucking lazy. Some are kids with a fantasy fetish. I don’t know. I don’t care. Figure out which you are and make choices like an adult).
But don’t go picking a path or integrate yourself to a spiritual lifestyle that has high demands or you cannot adhere to. Not only is it disrespectful to the culture, the people, and the beings involved. But it’s not good for yourself, either. You will not benefit from the experience. You won’t make it anywhere and you’ll be left constantly feeling like a failure because you cannot accommodate the demands of a lifestyle and belief system that has expectations that are outside of your parameters to accommodate.
But back to YOU! Because let’s be honest, this is mostly about YOU. Everything is mostly about you and yourself. That’s just how a massive amount of people think. Which isn’t wrong, don’t get me wrong. But you have to be Self Aware. (I know most of you are not self aware. Get over it). When you set yourself up with all these fantastical expectations and then nothing progressive and fantastic happens with your practise, it is mostly because you failed to follow through with your own work. Something happened along the way where you struggled for some reason or another and you didn’t have the discipline and the integrity to keep up with something. And that feeling sucks. You feel “Let Down” by the Occult. But you let yourself down. In some way shape or form, you let yourself down. Because everything is about you, this means you have to be responsible for YOU. Yeah. I said it. You have to be responsible for yourself. No one’s wiping your Spiritual Ass for you. You have to do your own work and wipe your own spiritual butthole, and that also means cleaning up your own spiritual messes and doing the spiritual work and dedicating the time and dedicating the energy and making the changes to your life you need to make and then committing to them. It’s all Change, baby! And if you can’t handle change, then you can’t handle commitment to the occult.
And that’s okay! If you can’t handle some things, then DON’T FUCKING DO THEM?????
Maybe step away from that. And yeah, it’s okay to “try” some things to a degree. But please. For the love of fuck, approach them with the respect, dignity, and understanding that they deserve. Always approach a practise (And 99% of all practises have roots in SOME sort of ethnic culture!) with the respect it deserves. Do your best to adhere to those cultures and their beliefs and be as strict as you can while accommodating those traditions. They’re called “Traditions” for a reason. Treat them like they are sacred because they are. I shouldn’t have to explain to people that “Traditions of Spiritual Cultures are Sacred”, yet this post is being made because, quite clearly, this is a common issue.
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I’m not “Gatekeeping” anything by saying this. I’m telling you to explore as much as you can. But when you do so, don’t explore different spiritual practises and traditions like the tourists that make the locals want to commit a homicide. Which is how so many people getting into the occult treat Traditions they are exploring.
You want to be a good and a welcome guest. You can’t just trample whatever you feel like because you’re too self centred with your selfie stick in Greece to be aware that you’re disrupting people trying to live their daily lives. The locals should want you. Try to connect to the people and their language and culture. Don’t just stand in their ways and think their society should accommodate you because you’re visiting.
It is okay if something turns out that it isn’t for you. Be honest about it. Be respectful about it. Thank the people and the culture and those gods for their time for being Gracious Enough to Host you. And then move on. A little respect goes a long, long way.
The Occult and Spiritual practises opens the way for you to re-think everything that you believe and to apply new ideas, beliefs and principles to yourself to help you grow and explore yourself and your connection to people and places with deeper understanding.
Be honest.
Be open.
You have to grow. And if you are interested in the Occult, Spirituality and Mysticism, get ready because there’s going to be so many growing pains.
And if you can’t handle that,
Then why are you here?
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