#English is not my native tongue

[ristineveineorzea]

Prologue - The Green Word

The Green Word sounded nice at first. It was all I knew. I always knew that I would be thrown away to the forest once I experienced my 13th summer. Like all Viera boys. Even if that was the way, I couldn't but long for those old days when I lived in the village of my birth with my friends. Playing, helping around and listening to stories of old. Being able to read books about the world around us. Stories, songs and history. I was quite a bookbunny and found early on drawn to the magics and aether manipulation. Whenever I was not playing with other kids or reading the few books our village had, I was either helping around or practicing magic with our village mage. She humored my curiosity and I thank her for that.

But that was not anymore an option. I was bound to the life of solitude as all Viera males were. After years of learning the way of survival in the surrounding forest, my master, Neve, deemed that I would be ready to go on my own. I knew that was the tradition. That was the way. But... My tears wouldn't stop flowing on the first day I was set to be on my own. It wasn't the solitude I was afraid of. I actually enjoyed the silence of the forest. The beautiful greenery and wild life. The nature's embrace. But I felt uneasy. It was the lack of connection that hurt me the most. Like I should be somewhere else. I found myself always going closer to my home village. Watching them live their lives. ...but sometimes I ventured too close. It soon became a problem. To the point that I would be facing the sharp tip of the spear of our esteemed female soldiers frequently. To the point that they threatened me with exile. That I should abandon the Green Word.

I chose for them. I camped at the edge of my home forest for days gathering courage to set my foot on the road to the unknown world. The first step seemed like the hardest thing I have ever done. I just couldn't do it. Rather than take step forward, I side stepped like crab, or backtracked to face my home forest.

But my struggles were not unknown. My master, Neve, had come to visit me. He was informed of my situation. Or so he told me. For one night, he sat with me. Under the moon and the starlight. We never talked too much, and this time was no different. But I felt like there was always a mutual connection. Understanding and love. I could feel that he only wanted what was best for me. And like always, he parted with wise words to rally me.

"Risti. You don't have to worry about the Green Word. It has been spoken for centuries, is spoken now and will be spoken in the future. Find your own Word. Your own voice." That's what he said. I hesitated. He could sense it.

He sighed with loving frustration. He knew me too well. "Five years from now. Under the same full moon. Let us meet again. Here. At the edge of the forest. Tell me of your adventures. Your joys. Your tears. Your love. Your Word. This is the final assignment I bestow upon you as your master."

Those are the words I live by. Those are the words that pushed me to take my first step outside. The first word written in my story. Now... It didn't feel final. I had a goal. I was no longer afraid of the unknown because I knew my master waited for me. I wasn't alone.

[twinliches]

"the goal in life is to be successful" wrong. the goal in life is to say as many sentences that have never been said before as possible. you are on the grind i am incomprehensible. babel-maxxing. straight up speaking in tongues. the only project i want to contribute to is the dictionary

[katyspersonal]

Mfw I learned how Shakespearean English works just to be able to roleplay as Messmer with my bestie 🙄 But at the same time would not have had it any other way (taking hobbies seriously ends up tricking you into self-education)

[rapha-reads]

IWTV rewatch

(book to show, show to book, the meta continues)

Season 1 episode 3 [Is My Very Nature That Of The Devil]

- Louis: *tries to read*

Lestat: *bla bla bla*

Louis: "if you don't shut up and leave me with my books I'm going to start a social commentary and ethics conversation"

Lestat: "... Never mind. Let's go hunt."

Louis in that white suit is daaamn fine.

Oooh, so the conversation about only eating the "evil" ones starts there. Louis munching on that cat kills me every time.

- Oh, hello Antoinette. Love that we go from 19th century violinist Antoine to 20th century music hall singer Antoinette. Very nice change.

[Louis] "'This ain't your kind of music.'

[Lestat] 'You can pretend you're a vegetarian. I can pretend the fool.'" - part of me thinks that Louis meant by that "this is Black music, a Black folk band, and you're still a white boy, even vampire that you are".

Lestat schooling everyone about music, sassing everyone and playing the piano divinily, absolutely delicious. And then Louis' absolutely fond little smile, even when he's arguing with Lestat, he just loves him so.

- Ah! [Daniel] "Yeah, you know, I gotta say, it's not so much the minute details, Louis, rather the total rewrite that's giving me pause here." - that's the part. That's the crux of it. That's the character development of Louis who's done rejecting the depth of his feelings for Lestat and the role he's played in his own tragedy, regardless of Lestat's abuse, and ready to accept it and talk about it.

Love Louis' face relistening to his 1973's words versus 2022. The face of a man going "ah shit, I really was messed up back then".

- [Daniel] "'Fuck the 'Wolverine Blues'. Ken Burns can choke on the footnotes. It's the abused-abuser psychological relationship I'm talking about.'

[Louis] 'I do not consider myself abused.'

[Daniel] 'I mean, usually when you're a little too close to it, the abused still loves the abuser, but you flipped it completely on its head.'

[Louis] 'I'm not a victim.'

[Daniel] '50 years later, you talk like he was your soulmate, like you were locked in some fucked up gothic romance. Why?'"

First: Daniel's a petty bitch and he's getting to the bottom of this business whether Louis works with him or not. And Louis is equally petty and bitchy, answering Daniel by reading part of his own memoir and mocking him.

Secondly: well, yeah, it is a gothic romance, that's the genre. But it is a Contemporary Gothic romance. Contemporary Gothic expands on Classic Gothic. I wrote an essay about Contemporary Gothic using the movie Only Lovers Left Alive last year, I need to translate it from Spanish to English so I can share it. But I feel like I could reuse part of this essay to talk about IWTV book (inscribed in Classic Gothic) versus IWTV show (tending towards Contemporary Gothic). One more essay idea to develop later. Let's table this.

Thirdly: my little Loustat shipper heart is very happy.

And fourth: hey, Danny boy. Remember that conversation in a dozen of sessions because that will come in handy to explain a looooooot of things... Devil's Minion fans gleefully cackling in the background. And Armand isn't even in this scene. Talk about irony. And foreshadowing.

[Louis] "'This is the odyssey of recollection.' The tapes are an admitted performance. This is the premise of our interview. Half a century later, allow me my odyssey. [Daniel throws the tapes in the trash] Now who's performing?"

Louis being heartfelt but still hiding beneath his veneer - you know when he starts to be honest, or as genuine as he can at this point, when he starts to drop the accent. I swear I'm going to stop raving about Jacob's voice work at some point, but it's such an important part of the character, of who Louis is and how the audience can understand Louis, that it deserves an entire essay of its own.

And then Louis sasses Daniel and sets the tapes on fire, because that's not a performance at all, that. Pot meet kettle.

- [Louis] "Rigged to burn, Daniel" - foreshadowing...

- [Louis] "I barely had the energy to hold a book. My libido was not what it'd been. I understood the indulgence. I let it happen." - why are you such a liar, Louis. Stop fucking lying, Louis.

On a serious note, Louis' eating disorder emerging from his identity crisis, the clash of his religious upbringing with his new reality colliding with his lifelong depression... Who made that guy so relatable. But notice how there's a slight part of Louis' new diet here that's in direct reaction to Lestat's refusal to hear him and talk to him. They each punish each other for their perceived failings by acting in the way that'll hurt the other the most, even if that way hurts them too. Louis by letting himself starve and losing his energy when that's all Lestat wants him to do, Lestat by having several affairs and flaunting them, even when he explicitly says "I do everything for Louis". By the way, that little throwaway line? Lestat being genuine and fully honest about his feelings and motivations but playing it as a joke. If Louis had been hearing he'd have caught it and maaaybe we could have avoided some of the drama. Maybe.

- Oh, the whole Antoinette seduction scene is fascinating. Notice how Lestat barely looks at her? He only has eyes for Louis. And Louis cannot stand his gaze, he has to retreat. Says he understands, but then leaves in a huff. Disasters.

[Louis] "'So you didn't kill her.'

[Lestat] 'No. She has talents.'

[Louis] 'Aren't I enough?'" - excuse me while I go scream.

[Lestat] "We're communicating so much better now." - baby, no. That ain't communication. You two are still talking two different languages.

[Lestat] "Of course. Of course. Of course. As long as you come home to me." - that's way too many "of course", 'Stat. Maybe add a couple dozen more to reeeeally make your point that you're not bothered AT ALL by the idea of Louis seeing other people. Hypocrite...

- Welcome to WW1. Business, racism, capitalism, and the fantastic Miss Bricks. Can't wait for Tom Anderson to get eaten, that guy rubs me off the wrong way. Gotta love that Louis' standing up for himself. Aaaaand hello Jonah. Oop, Lestat's already staring and going insane with jealousy. Meanwhile Louis doesn't even remember he's got nieces. Looots of little crucial hits in this scene, between the poker game, WW1 come a-knocking, Loustat's fuckery and Louis' getting further and further away from his human family.

- [Jonah] "'Ain't aged a day since I seen you last.'

[Louis] 'That's the moonlight lyin' is all.'" - hi, Nicholas Sparks called, he says that line belongs in The Notebook and he's claiming copyright for it.

[Jonah] "'And most of why I signed up is I kept hearing something about something they call 'European sensibilities'. They care less what you look like or who you're lookin' at.'

[Louis] 'Yeah, I got someone.'

[Jonah] 'I figured as much. No ring on your finger?'

[Louis] 'Not a woman.'

[Jonah] 'Well, what's he like?'

[Louis] 'He's... a lot. It's not perfect. But we kind of have this agreement.'"

Yeah, believe me, racism and homophobia are very alive in Europe too. Though... The roaring twenties are right around the corner and that's a decade I would have loved to experience in Paris.

Hey, look! Louis has come around about his sexuality, is that the first time he comes out willingly and peacefully? Yey, progress. Also I love that he has explicit permission from Lestat to have his own affairs, but he feels uncomfortable about at it at first. But still goes for it 'cause you know. Gotta show Lestat he ain't bothered. Should have fed first tho, stupid. Also, Lestat overhearing Louis calling him "a lot" and "not perfect" > direct parallel to Claudia hearing Louis calling her a "burden" to Armand in s2. Louis is so good at being casually cruel to and about those he loves.

[Louis] "'Good fit, this uniform.'

[Jonah] 'Well, it's the moonlight.'" - sorry, Nicholas Sparks on line 3 again, he said that moonlight line is actually too sappy for even The Notebook. Said we can keep it, he doesn't want to pay our dentist note.

- Daniel Hart's music is fantastic.

- Ah, Lestat's jealousy crisis. Aw, the domesticity. Ooh, wait, love how the memory changes. You can see Louis struggling to remember which memory is accurate.

- Arf, Louis being rejected from his own family house and then breaking down the door. Mamaw du Lac, Mother of the Decade, everyone. Poor baby. The curse of the vampire. Downward spiral getting worse. And then coming home and seeing Lestat entertain the regiment? And then the news about the Azalea. Nervous breakdown about to happen. Oh, Lestat flexing his powers. Love that. Notice the blood trail coming from his ear? It appears again when he saves Louis during the trial. He's not without his limits. Regarding his powers or his feelings.

[Lestat] "I heard your hearts dancing" - so first of all, awards for Sam, when? Secondly, brb, need to sob a little. And third, Nicholas Sparks on the line again, wants to know if the writer of these lines is available to come work with him.

[Lestat] "'This is not a life!'

[Louis] 'That's' cause you took my life! I got nothing! I lost everything! I lost my brother. I lost my family. 'Bout to lose the last fucking thing I care about.'" - where are the awards for Jacob and Sam for heaven's saaaaaaaake. Also, love how the music briefly stops between 'everything' and 'brother'.

- [Louis] "When your mother sees the Devil in your eyes, it's a hard assessment to abandon. Am I from the Devil? Is my very nature that of the Devil? I had hedged against the question, but now it completely overwhelmed me." - Lestat and Armand had that conversation a century earlier...

[Daniel] "Take a Black man in America, make him a vampire, fuck with that vampire, and see what comes of it." - thanks for the social commentary, Danny, don't even need to do it myself. Now eat those assholes, Lou.

- [Louis] "You said I'm arrogant? Maybe I am arrogant! [...] I'm a vampire." - okay, can I soliloque about Louis please? Have I said he's my favourite of the entire books lately? As someone who has been called pretentious more than once just because I know my own value and refuse to play stupid, that part, yeah, that part gets to me. Louis finally knows who he is and refuses to pretend he's less just to please others. And as a lesson that I've finally embraced this year especially too, I like that. I like that a lot.

Oops. Louis just started a civil war in New Orleans. Fun. Like Lestat says, it's not on Louis tho. He merely "provided them the excuse".

[Louis] "And that's why you and me ain't never gon' work. That's why you're always gonna be alone." - oooh man, that was harsh. And only half deserved. And cruel in that typical Louis way. Also, wrong. But you're gonna have to wait another century for that. Oof, Lestat's face as Louis leaves, the crumbling, the desperation oozing out of his entire soul, heart and mind...

- "I ran from the Quarter that night, ran to where the violence spread most wild. I stumbled through the streets like an irrational child who had tested his strength on the small bird and now asked 'can I make it whole again?' - Can I help you? Please let me help you. - Their faces ran past me like snow in a terrible wind, unaware that it was I who had brought this retribution. It was I who should pay for this sin. And then... [Help me!] one of those inconceivable moments where who you were before and who you would be forever after is marked in time. [Help!] A rooming house, now a fire trap. I could not save the Azalea. I could not save Storyville. I could not save the aunt on the wrong side of the wall, but I could save her. My light. My Claudia. My redemption."

... Brb, need to scream in a pillow. Oooof. What a tirade. Louis, Saint Louis, Saint Louis, bearing the weight of the cross on his shoulders... Selflessness being selfishness, trying to help to try to alleviate his own pain and guilt. Doing good things out of a need to feel useful or at peace with your own conscience is not a bad thing, you're still helping whatever your motives, but when it starts making you unable to see the people you're trying to help as people, and starts making you see them as tools to relieve your tortured soul and conscience, are your good actions still good? Or the pavement on the road to a very dark place? Guess we'll let Claudia tell us her opinion.

episode 1 | episode 2 | episode 3 | episode 4 | episode 5 | episode 6 | episode 7

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

no because I spent less than a third of my school years in Brazil and yet whenever I do maths in my head I still always resort back to Portuguese

no because I always speak Portuguese with my mom and we almost exclusively listen to Brazilian music at home but the first time we went back to Brazil after covid just listening to all the people around me casually speak in Portuguese almost made me burst into tears

no because one time I was sleeping at my grandma's and I still hadn't completely woken up and the birds were singing (we used to have australian budgies) and for a moment I thought I was still living there, at my old apartment. I don't even know how many years ago this day happened and my memory is absolute shit but I still remember the feeling of bittersweet grief when I woke up properly

no because I always get so hyped whenever I hear someone casually speaking Brazilian Portuguese like even if I don't outwardly acknowledge them just hearing it always fills me with so much joy

no because whenever I forget another word in Portuguese my heart breaks a little

no because even if I do my hair the exact same way here and there it still comes out with a completely different texture (it looks better over there in case you were wondering btw)

no because I mostly speak Portuguese with my mom and I didn't even realize that some of the words I use are actually super outdated

the point being: I really appreciate that there are so many characters that come from different countries in Stormlight Archive, and that Sanderson has clearly thought a lot about their different cultures and religions and politics and worldbuilding in general. however. i don't think he quite realizes how personal a place and a language can be. like obviously my experiences are far from universal, not to mention very different from theirs (much much less trauma for one lol), but especially when we get a pov from one of those characters I can't help but think that there is always something.... lacking? missing?

let shallan complain about her hair and skin routine not working the same anymore ever since she moved away from her home. let lunamor be a bit resentful of his new family for not even trying to learn his real name. let The Lopen forget more words in alethi now that he's surrounded by his herdasian cousins again. let shallan not be able to properly talk about her drawings in the way she wants to whenever adolin asks because she learnt all the proper words in her vadan art book. let there be foreign members of bridge four who adore alethkar and those who hate it and those who feel a bit of both at the same time.

dunno. i know these are just small details, but i noticed that these are small details that matter to me (and I can imagine that many people with a foreign background may feel similarly?)

[tiredfoxtf]

Hey, guys, I have a question to writers whose native language isn't English, but they still write for an English speaking audience. How do you do it? Do you write in your first language and then translate or do you do it in English from the get-go?

I just noticed that when I write in English from the beginning, the sentences are making more sense and it feels more grammatically correct and flows better, but I feel like the colour of my language dies and like I am not well equipped in the vocabulary department. But think of the sentences in my first language is kinda hard and some parts look wonky when I write them.

So I basically feel over all uncomfortable with either.

[songtwo]

on the bright side i’ve been meaning to write a piece on something that isn’t music related for this magazine that only accepts like social pieces and this gave me the perfect idea to pitch something i have so much to say

[enden-k]

well by seeing your pinned post and those two country flags it's probably korean? I couldn't recognize the first one

first is kazakhstan. im mixed. and a mess

[ratatatastic]

IM SORRY. REINO ATE THAI FOOD. IN FINLAND????? YOU ARE IN FINLAND????? AND YOU DECIDED TO EAT THAI FOOD????????

[idontmindifuforgetme]

sometimes I surprise myself w the fact that im fluent in Arabic

[m1ckeyb3rry]

bilinguals hit my line 🤩

[marietheran]

I am begging all the Catholics of Tumblr to stop making/reblogging posts of the "what the devil said during an exorcism and what that proves" sort. Even if this one particular thing was to be mostly the truth, I cannot stress enough just how dumb citing a known liar is.

[burntblueberrywaffles]

You’re not allowed to mock a language if you don’t speak it btw. You’re not being funny you’re just an asshole who doesn’t even know what they’re talking about.

[mcrololo]

tell me about her

this was so wonderfully threatening to receive unprompted sgfjsj but i'm assuming you mean beca desjardins?? I'll try not to ramble but this character is so precious to me so I'm sorry in advance (no I'm not)

So Beca's full name is Isabel Desjardins, she's french, and grew up in an incredibly abusive household. I wanted to challenge myself to create a character who felt so, SO much but had to repress everything, and part of that was figuring out what made her love as deeply as she does despite the way she grew up (homophobic mother inflicting both mental and physical abuse, an alcoholic father who was never really there). It's been about 8 years since Beca first knocked on my door, so to speak, and I learned so much about myself because of her.

Anyway, I'm not going to inflict 8 years of info on anyone right now bc that's insane. But I loved exploring her teens when she develops a crush on her best friend (and learns she's really really gay), loved exploring what abuse does to someone in both learning to love others as well as loving yourself, her not-so-healthy friendships (who push her to do things that she doesn't want to) combined with the healthy ones (who help her finding the things she does want to do) - I absolutely adore experiencing her growth along with her. And I cannot begin to describe the joy I feel for writing Beca and her love interest Emily mutually pining, it's been 8 years but we're finally there.

I could say so much more about her relationship with her father, her siblings, and even her mother (the latter of which I finally felt comfortable diving deeper into a few weeks ago). But like I said, I don't want to ramble on and on about a character that's not even on here lmao. However, I do have a (VERY long) playlist for her if you're interested!!

[anyonghalimaw]

me watching western europeans whining abt Americanization of Their Languages And Cultures via cultural/media exports knowing that they themselves have literally destroyed countless languages and cultures worldwide in the name of colonialism

[alicefromwhichplanet]

THIS.

(Been trying to find the original post but failed on tumblr. But I want to repost this so much. Tell me if the author thinks it’s a violation of their copyright. I’ll delete it.)