#End-Of-Line-Solutions | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ahollowgrave · 5 months ago

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-- home sweet home.

I have been thinking a lot about Selenite's apartment and the vibes. She likes to keep the overhead lights off as much as possible, there is almost always some old sappy romance playing on the TV, a door open for friends to wander in and out as they please. She doesn't like to be alone too long!! But it is also her home and she will be comfortable. A bonus shot, just for you:

#Pigeon Screens #Selenite of S9 #Solution 9 #Dawntrail #Dawntrail Spoilers #selenite big shirt + no pants (: (: (: (:#a gift for us all !!!!!!!!!!#also i think that tall is probably the 'better' shot but #*I* really like the long one #i showed this to husband and iron and my friend peep and all three of them said something along the lines of “so coy”#which I also find to be.... very charming...................... i love.......... my loved ones #anyway #something something welcome to the parlor #jk she's no spider she just doesn't wanna think too much #i had to have a heart 2 heart with S9 lighting because MY GOD!!!!!!!!!#why are you LIKE THAT SOMETIMES #but it's it ok we settled our differences and i really like the end result #why am i still HERE GOODBYE MWAH

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timetravelstudies · 2 months ago

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This got long and annoying so its under a cut now

The way in the fight w the museum director insul gets the same big injuries he has given trianon (so far), aand particularly the ones that T thinks back on often as specific sources of fear/humiliation/control (pepper sprayed in the eyes; kicked in the balls; choked with smth small and thin ((wire / car window)))….. im too tired to formulate a proper Thought abt this but the fact this all happens right in front of tjat one painting of dante & virgil in hell + insul and the director are in the exact same pose right as insul is about to die* is obviously so meant to evoke the idea of contrappasso….. at this stage trianon isnt “””strong””” enough (doesnt understand Insul enough and most importantly doesnt fully inhabit himself and his own strengths) to be able to pay back Insul’s violence (as he does later, though not in such a literal way anymore) so tje director will do for now🥰 bc they both need to descend into hell they both need to be subject to physical and psychological violence in order to strip down layers……. so its cool how the director serves that purpose for this phase 1 both in story for insul himself (who eats shit in this fight) and also as a sort of alert for the reader like make no mistake they are BOTH gonna get put thru the ringer. even the top has to wade through cocytus! or smth

#i wrote and erased so many asides and digressions bc they were nit relevant but #and obviously im not trying to imply this is a story about giving back what you got just as bad in order for Badass Self Improvement or #whatever to be achieved #like the n1 innovation of SW in so much Twink Chained To Radiator and Tortured literature #is that the resolution is not ‘he chains tje kidnapper back😈 he seemed so uke and frail bjt hes the strong one now!’#NOR ‘he learned to be happy chained to the radiator (or toilet ig) bc thats what he wanted deep down all along #and just needed a tough strong man to give it to him❤️’#but rather it creates this beautiful and perfectly calibrated solution where #the suffering that one party inflicts on the other becomes fundamental to the existence & identity of said party #and vice versa. ‘if i lost you i would lose part of what happened to me / insul reached back answering the same’#like by the ending insul does still absolutely have physical power over Trianon and he beats his ass black and blue regularly lol #but also Trianon has this gorilla grip on insul’s soul and sense of self and self worth; a sense that was kind of nonexistent or #dormant or repressed in Insul before and hed managed to be a ‘strong’ person without it bc thats the kind of thing you can live without in #Society if youre a strong able bodied masculine man. but trianon teases out the messed up abused little boy underneath and its like #NOT at all a beauty and the beast hes vulnerable around me ❤️ fantasy its actually kind of horrific.#like trianon does very much do some psychological torture yandere shit to insul …….. and by the end he COULD kill him and walk away but #he CHOOSES to do that……..#and ofc this is all deeply weilian not as in lines up perfectly with what she says necessarily but is very much in discourse with her ideas #anyway I’ve typed so fucking much and for what….. -_-‘’ sorry #serious weakness

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dykedvonte · 3 months ago

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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.

I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.

It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.

There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.

#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea #would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress #was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he #just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim #the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking #eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the #reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew #feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to #choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like #it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto #that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the #scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt #cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still #followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want #because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so #they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you #just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be #like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c #crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot #himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point #like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a #point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c #there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance #in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly #is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the #convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied #Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact #Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs #around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin #to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more

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funeralcity · 25 days ago

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mulholland drive was interesting

#as soona s it ended our discussion went into how the first part of the movie was obviously a dream that the character of the second part was #having #it all lines up and stuff but im not sure im satisfied with that.... it feels like too easy of a “solution” to all the “questions”

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deus-ex-mona · 1 month ago

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im working hard at hardly working just for you my queen~~~~~~

#funny story: so like i woke up this morning feeling oddly ✨locked in✨ to tl idol sengen…#but since it’s a workday i got the sense that *something* had gone wrong at work. bc yk. it’s just equal like that #like. if you feel up for leisure when you know gotta go to work instead…#there’s just that nagging feeling that something had gone wrong at work. right? y’know *that* feel… right…?#anyway sure enough something *had* gone wrong at work l m a o it went so poorly i cant even.#like. my sample analysis machine. thing. (details amended for privacy) ✨gave up✨ on analysing samples in the middle of the run #soooooooooo the little flame went burnin’ all night long bc it wasnt able to get to the ‘switch off after run completes’ command at the end #also i ran out of solutions for [the machine] and both of my waste containers were full and it was ✨inconvenient✨#…either way this was a truly annoying day. so im gonna go ahead and queue up my herohero/noontea tls for tomorrow just bc #im still ehhhhhhhh about some of the herohero lines so ig i’ll put one interpretation in the main part and another in the footnotes…#noontea’s a little more straightforward… but the line distributions are a little wonky… i think #oh well~~~~ the beauty of text tls is that you can amend ‘em easily if needed~~~~~ yayyyyyyyy #(tling songs is still a major pain though… oh welllllllllllll)#but~~~~~~~~~ chizuchan manga vol 2 will prolly drop at this time next monday so~~~~~ im gonna hold on just for chizuchan.#the light at the end of the tunnel is visible frfrrrrrrr wait for me chizuchan im just 5 days awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy #(b u t f i r s t — i cant wait for the weekend thoughhhhhhh last weekend was really fun (spent it cleaning idolsengen pages and sleeping))#o k that’s all gn guysssss see y’all tomorrow for herohero/noontea questionable tls~~~~~~

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aroaessidhe · 2 years ago

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2023 reads // twitter thread

To Shape A Dragon’s Breath

YA fantasy

a young Indigenous girl finds & bonds with a dragon hatchling - the first time in many generations for her people - and is required to go to the coloniser’s dragon academy in their mainland city, to learn how to raise her dragon and the science of its magic

historical inspired setting on the cusp of industrial revolution with steampunk vibes

bi polyamorous MC, Black lesbian SC, nonverbal autistic SC

#To Shape A Dragon’s Breath #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #this is really really good i loved it!#the chapter titles are all like snippets of a story. or like sentence fragments that match up. which is cool #it is definitely more about being indigenous in a coloniser institution than Dragon School - not Super dragon heavy if you want that #I suspect the subsequent books will get into that when she gets big enough to ride and stuff #t’s also def YA! i’ve seen a few ppl assume it’s adult and be like its very young :( but like. I mean its perfectly reasonable for a 15yo m #definitely a Lot of racism and colonialism which is not fun to read! though it's still through a YA lens. there was def a part of me that #was imagining consequences of the narrative as if it were an adult novel #on that line of thought - at the end a lot of it is kind of solved by them going to the king and he's is like. oh no racism is happening?#that's bad i'll deal with those people! which felt like. a little simplistic. but maybe the easiest way to end the narrative for book 1 -#I don't think the author ACTUALLY is going to portray the king as a Good Guy throughout the series - it just felt conveniently like -#a simple YA solution to some very big and complex elements? if that makes sense? (but again - it is YA so it's allowed I suppose!)#some of the worldbuilding (like all the science learning) is probably setup for next books - we don’t really see any practical application #the romances are also subtle and not Overbearing In Book One which i like - leave some space for the series!#also her getting fanmail from a 10yo mixed race girl who looks up to her 🥺#anyway. i really loved it!#oh also it reminded me a little of leviathan. i guess just the steampunk/time period/european culture....#To Shape A Dragon's Breath

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oathtorn · 1 year ago

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// sometimes I think about how many times in bg3 you get conflicts that don't have an objectively "best" outcome. I think about freeing the 7000 vampires, for example. Freeing them is the ethical thing to do, because they are all innocent victims, but it remains true that leaving thousands of vampires loose, even in the underdark, is a bad bad idea. Not only are they traumatized people, but they're predators who have only their instincts to help them survive in an unfamiliar land that isn't exactly bountiful in terms of wildlife. If they don't do well, they'll die or be slaughtered, and if they do they'll ruin entire communities or ecosystems, depending on whether they feed on people or animals.

#i was thinking again of that line minthara says about how the patriars should have the refugees work for them and have them defend the city #and tav is like 'um that's slavery you're describing?'#and she's like 'call it what you want but would you rather have them die of starvation stuck outside the city walls?'#and i mean the player doesn't have much to say in that matter but there is still a complex situation being presented with no easy solution #because bg has been the destination for refugees for a long time already #like it was already in a state of crisis after the descent when many people who could not return to their homes #massively started to arrive to the gate #right when their duke was gone and left the city without a ruler and the military without a leader #now the government is even WORSE and so is the refugee situation since they're now coming from everywhere #it is painfully true that the guild is still the only truly functioning organism in the city #and they're also having trouble with the absolute #like bg objectively doesnt have the space or the means to sustain the refugees #the patriars may #but in the end gold cant feed a family either #but eating the rich does sound like the most sensible option still-#ooc #the only objectively good ending i think is if you could leave the githyanki egg with lae'zel #also i think of the quest zevlor gives for killing kagha #which sounds like a sensible option when he says it but it prompts the grove massacre #but you can explain it to halsin and he understands that they forgot their principles and attacked defenseless refugees #and you merely defended yourself and them #then again if you look in the right places you can see dialogues suggesting that the refugees are indeed damaging the grove #like chopping trees without the druid's consent #so.#yeah i just have a deep appreciation for some aspects of the game's writing #that show there often isn't an objectively best choice #and you are just doing your best with the information you have and what your morals dictate

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laurelwinchester · 1 year ago

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spn stans are so terrified of women existing within the world of the show that they will literally rewrite canon to say "dean never truly loved any woman" or they will say absolutely absurd shit like "jensen ackles just doesn't have chemistry with women." and yet they still insist that they're not at all misogynistic or biphobic.

#i do realize that i have written this same rant about five hundred billion times but like. how does it keep getting worse????#aren't new generations supposed to be better? and yet with every new wave the misogyny seems to run even deeper #yeah i have A LOT of thoughts about this new popular 'dean wasn't actually bisexual he was gay' headcanon #y'all have so many internalized issues that you need to work on #but you won't because you've convinced yourselves that you're the solution and not the problem #when in reality you're just the same old problem dressed up in brand new shitty justifications #and the thing is....supernatural is fiction yes but this line of thinking definitely impacts real life #and that's how you end up with outwardly progressive people spouting conservative bullshit and pretending it's what being truly woke is #the poison drips through folks the poison drips through #spn fandom discourse #supernatural #dean winchester #jensen ackles

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maliro-t · 5 months ago

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as a bona fide vaxleth lover i am more confused than ever about how they are portrayed on the animated series i'm not gonna lie 😭

#not that different is bad like it doesn't affect or 'ruin' the actual source material #i just legitimately do not understand some of their choices here #there's stuff i really like ofc but u know. i've written multiple long analyses about conflict in their relationship #and in previous seasons it seemed to me like they were just smoothing out those sharp edges which bummed me out ngl #(for one there was a line at the end of s1 where kiki directly contradicted her campaign self in favor of No Conflict that i was feeling #unsatisfied with. and s2 didn't contend with rq as a sticking point for keyleth really at all)#and like to be honest my distaste for that is biased by like fandom drama of years past and people shitting on them for that exact stuff #so for me it kinda felt like an updated and palatable version that appealed to the group of people that made me feel bad for liking them #which is again like a strong personal bias lol but u know it also is just. a really important story to me that i love #but this season it's like they went no no. they do actually need to fight that was a big thing. hmmmm what about #AH YES. let's reverse their povs about their relationship completely.#have not finished ep3 yet but 10 min in i'm just like HUH?#again this doesn't rly matter and the show remains an enjoyable adaptation it's just truly bizzare to me 😭 how did this choice get made #it speaks #lovm spoilers #sorry I'm not done yet actually because the specific conflict about happiness in the present being or not being worth sorrow later #is the VERY CORE OF BOTH OF THOSE CHARACTERS and to switch which one feels which is way more than weird for the romance it's weird for like #what each of their whole individual deal is. that's why i'm so ??????????????#gah. i truly don't want to complain too badly #(and tbh the eps simply don't have enough runtime for vax to be as completely-falling-apart as he actually was and the role of #depression and trauma and self-loathing in that vs like. a more easily telegraphed supernatural boogeyman #-which if they slowed the pace down more might fit in but the scale of the story is so grand that they can't so like i begrudingly get it.#but still absolutely wild for the solution to be: do away with their actual arguments about divinity or keyleth's insecurity about #outliving all of vox machina. oh btw we are giving the vision she had of that to vax as a gift from rq or whatever #so he can be inscure about it instead. because he's fate touched or smthn. and that's too abstract for us to explore here so let's just #give him ominous visions.)#the more i have typed the saltier i have gotten i'm sorry it's just WILD TO MEEEE

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justworthlessreblogs · 8 months ago

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Same Anon as Yesterday (Food pun anon) and I just wanna say something I personally think is missing from Rio’s arc, that I think is important.

So largely, I’m speaking from my own experience as a twin, where me and the twin were really codependent and I was definitely the more docile of the twins. What really helped me with my own personal inferiority complex was making the choice to step out of her shadow. Even though I wasn’t born talented at the things I chose to focus on, the fact that I had chosen to set out and do it on my own left me feeling proud and fulfilled.

To me, Rio makes this choice by becoming Julio, only to step back into her shadow (aka his comfort zone) after his redemption. His friends are her friends, his hobby is her hobby. In a way it’s like, regression rather than development.

I think Rio really should have found something that he’s passionate about that Ciel isn’t, and made some friends that care about that same passion. I don’t think he needs to stop being passionate about baking, but I think he should’ve tried to find something that makes him feel unique. He needs friends that care for him not because he’s Ciels twin, but because he’s Rio.

I’ve came up with various headcanons over the years to deal with this, from giving him a set of new friends, to him becoming more of a business kinda guy when they grow up. Like Ciel is the creative one who literally doesn’t understand the first thing about running a business and Rio is the manager who makes sure the patisserie they run doesn’t spontaneously explode or smth. If I recall, WV Rio likes sports as a hobby (might’ve hallucinated that, it’s been a minute) and I really wish canon had expanded on that, or his other talents. Because I think that would’ve been a much more satisfying way to end his arc.

food anon you're so right. my hottest take of all is that at the end of the series rio still isn't in a healthy mindset because he's put right back into the same situation that caused him to spiral in the first place except ciel compliments him sometimes and i don't think that's a great ending. when writing waffleverse i always ask myself "who is (pov character)?" and once i moved out of rio's julio era and his corporated mandated post-redemption angst i realized i had no fucking idea because postcoma rio just. Exists. he's ciel's brother and he's kinda grumpy and he feels bad about what he did as julio and that's about all you can say about him. he is unfortunately the hardest character for me to write because of that

#like you said the solution to rio's arc isn't ciel saying his waffles tasted good it's him getting to define himself independent of ciel #because the reason why rio's arc doesn't work in canon is because at the end of the day he is simply just an extension of her!#i've played with ideas like yours for other versions of rio that float around in my head #imo if they Absolutely had to have rio out of the story for 16 episodes why not put him on a literal bus. let him have an offscreen self #discovery arc. maybe he could cameo once in a while by calling ciel or something. i think giving him time to breathe and figure out who #he is would've worked a lot better #also wv rio does play soccer! it's a throwaway line in part 3. it would've come up again in part 6 had i not cut #most of the sports festival episode #since it was giving me a lot of trouble and i just wanted to get the fic out #anyways yeah remember how rio as julio was into experimenting... how he was good at sports...#i think both ciel and rio need hobbies outside of baking tbh. it's not healthy to be so hyperfocused all the time #i also headcanon rio as being the finances guy lmao. in wv it's yukari rn but in the future after yukari leaves he takes over #sorry for how long these tags are i've thought about the stuff in your ask a lot #asks #anonymous #precure critical #precure neg #once again tagging just to be safe #cure waffle au #rio kuroki

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 7 months ago

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because im less breakable than you

#still dont really remember the details of how this ends but still thinking they couldve made laura vampire instead of carmilla human #also keep thinking - as with all the things recently idk why this is a thing now but i gotta keep thinking abt it - that canonically #carmilla died at 18 #laura is 19 #actresses are 25ish here? it's not a big difference but it is...a little difference #theyre teenagers #they look like teenagers #she fucking died at her first ball hoping to make her first ever friend it's so sad really #but i was thinking abt this too with the iwtv episode where claudia asks armand to turn madeleine and he goes to question her #like certain lines are just so very specifically written i think and they hit so much harder if you adjust their ages mentally #claudia looks 14. shes from 1903 so shes around 40-45 years old?#madeleine's actress is 30ish i believe and i think madeleine is meant to be a similar age #but she looks kind of young. i guess 30 is pretty young actually #armand in the show was turned at 27? assad zaman is 34? close enough i guess you dont have to adjust that much #but in the book hes turned at 17?#like just some lines really hit #when claudia calls madeleine 'some weird white lady i met by happenstance'#imagine a 14 yo talking abt a 30 yo instead of two people who look similar in age #when madeleine calls armand young man when shes like theres nothing left of my era theres been a war #i think she says like 'young man theres been a war'#that 'young man' really hits if you imagine him 17 #idk #also still thinking abt yaz. if she looked 19 #idk. teenage vampires man #also been reading the book and forever5yo claudia is fascinating too i love her #also can they do telepathy in the book bc i feel like a lot of times in the book it's that claudia is being carried by louis like a 5yo #that she whispers stuff in his ear. and thats always the kind of stuff that in the show they'd use telepathy for #it's a good solution both ways i lik eboth but it made me wonder did they just add the telepathy in entirely in the show?#bc i dont believe theres been any so far in the book

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squuote · 1 year ago

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I made a post bout the skip button ending a while back and I deleted it a while ago but I desperately wanna redo it cause I’m interested in what others think but man I cannot find the words for it at all lmaoo

#delete later #LMAO I JUST REMEMBERED IT #I rlly should have saved a reblog to drafts before deleting it #but basically it was along the lines of #a person who feels trapped in a situation may see a solution and just go for it-#-before trying to find other solutions. and most of the time that solution might not be an actually good one #I still feel like I’m wording that wrong though #the concept of stanley seeing the skip button as the only means to escape this ending #and not directly as a way to truly hurt the narrator #because stanley is the one trapped in that room/in the parable #and in times of feeling trapped you may reach for an option that feels like your only hope #or a solution that gives you back some sort of control #so I think the portrayal of the skip button and the zending kinda speak to this idea in an odd way #the feeling of being trapped and seeing a way out and going for that without thinking #though in the end this is me very heavily projecting my own stuff onto these endings #because I’ve been in that position before a few times and I know what it’s like #it doesn’t mean your bad for doing it but I think some people don’t understand it well #it is essentially just me explaining rash decisions in serious situations #yeah stanley should have waited with the narrator but in moments of uncertainty-#-people react in their own ways. idk shrugs I still don’t know if I’m making sense or not #maybe I’ll just keep it here in the tags lol

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aroaessidhe · 2 years ago

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2023 reads // twitter thread

Star Eater

fantasy world under religious rule by an order of nuns who practice ritualistic cannibalism to gain magic

one young Sister who’s plagued by visions wants to get out, and ends up caught in the complex politics between factions vying for power and the revolution wanting to get rid of them

#star eater #kerstin hall #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #Star Eater #lots of intriguing ideas and interesting worldbuilding!#it just didn’t follow through with them very well imo #in the very beginning it’s like. floating land! they ride giant cats! cool things! and then they’re like…..#well i literally forgot about both those things til they came up again near the end #I also expected it to be way more brutal and gory.#i thought it would be cannibailsm blood zombies everywhere but it’s really. every now and then lol #as well as just narratively…..i thought like. the love interest would die half way through and then the MC would become way more unhinged #i think it maybe chickened out on going more interesting places #the first half is all quite complex politically and then it’s just kinda. chosen one magical solution to fix all that!#which really was just fixing a different thing than the core of the revolution stuff...#also. i know the lines between fantasy and scifi are tenuous at best i've seen people call this sci-fi…..imo it;s not really at all?#the star thing is in reference to their mythology. like you COULD call it scifi but imo nothing about it Isn’t just fantasy #also calling it horror....there's horror MOMENTs but overall idk #anyway i will repeat: there are a lot of things I did like about it! i just think it could have done them More

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theultracharmingladynoire · 2 years ago

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I tried to stop myself from posting this but the whole 'victuuri is unhealthy because x or y or they are codependent/yuuri is always selfish and cold to victor' take that seems so prevalent across the post I came across genuinely upsets me so much it has been making me feel low-key physically nauseous when I think about anything related to the show and it sucks honestly

#Like I know I disagree with those takes and ik why #I also know now relationship is 100% perfect but when people apparently used that as some sort of justification #For this take always makes me uncomfortable #I know I should just ignore this and I have been but I also can't stop thinking about it #Maybe it is a me problem or something like I know don't like don't read and stuff #But there is a part of my mind that is kind of like. oh no what if it is true what if #These takes are true and I am willfully being ignorant or not being critical of whatever or etc #I just. ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhugh #I don't want to post this either because I feel nowadays all I've been talking about on here excluding rbs is just about how I saw x take #About this show and how that upsetted me which when said repeatedly seems kind of stupid #And looks like I am deliberately seeking out stuff that upsets me #And if I am being honest that is also part of the problem like. I know that if I block a blog it is def because I read something that just #Upsetted me a lot #But WHY doesn't it stop me from clicking the view blog button is just. stupidity on my part #And I just didn't want to come off as too sensitive or whiny #But like rn it's almost the end of holidays so I think I just need to #find a solution to this for once and for all #aaand also it is almost am rn and I saw an extremely hideous take along the lines of what I mentioned and it was vile #and it is just bothering me ao much I. Can't stop thinking about it and it is making me too uneasy #(also combined with my nervousness for the end of holidays obv but eh)#idk this is giving me flash backs to the whole ladynoir season 4 discourse except the stuff I've seen is even more extreme and I just. ugh

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outeremissary · 2 years ago

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Just the art from this prompt post.

#emi art #balthazar lucienne #voice of some demon in my head at one in the morning like “what if I drew new art. how long could it take.”#to be fair a significant chunk of that time was hunting for a functioning paint marker #and then giving up and attempting to use watercolor pencil for it #I really need to find a better white solution for goofy things like stars #anyway. the plants are oleander and thyme (blooming) although the details are hard to see because I drew Too Small #the sunburst is meant to be a small nod to the divine light in Bernini's Ecstasy of Saint Theresa #where my thought was “I do not have time to really imitate the lush detail of baroque art BUT I can draw straightish lines”#in the end I wasn't careful enough planning the distribution of rays and the reference got lost.#and of course the background moves between a daylight storm and early night #I wanted to capture a decent number of the “associations” in a fun way #I'm not good at moodboard-y things. I can't explain it but that was a moodboard-y list #so I suppose I felt a little more certain of myself with a little project tying things together haha #anyway even though I spent too much time on this now I wish I'd spent more...

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tchaikovskym · 1 year ago

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decided to celebrate a bit for kind of not-officially yet getting into a phd, getting into new jobs (2 of them actually), and having car problems on top of it all, so, naturally, i deserve to overspend on food delivery

#there is so much to worry about but fuck it honestly #when the problems come i will think of a solution #for now i celebrate #man im really going to work 3 jobs aaaaa #will decrease the load on my current one to 0.5 #then 0.75 as lab assistant with like no one to teach me because the old one died #and then 0.25 on a project that i know the vague details of #so. all taken together i will work 1.5 loads AND do a phd #but tbh that 0.25 project sounds easy i think i will manage of just like doing it one evening in a month #and i wanted to apply for a scholarship because my income will now be messed up because of taxes #i think at the end of the day i will earn less #which sucks #oh and i will be able to do the phd in the time of my lab assistant work so those 0.75 are pretty okay #and nothing is entirely new? i am just going to work in a place i study no biggie #but man this is stressful #'go where the wind blows' had ended me in this situation #'if you think by saying no you would regret years down the line say yes' has ended me in this situation #honestly i deserve to have financially bad treats for myself because of this all #whoosh #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #man #'i crave stability in my life' my ass #im doing this and oh boy oh boy oh boy #stay tuned for the next three years to see how things turn out #btw that 0.25 project ends in december so all is fine

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