#still dont really remember the details of how this ends but still thinking they couldve made laura vampire instead of carmilla human

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

because im less breakable than you

[soleillunne]

OKAY OKAY SO!! do you have any book recs?? i want to get back into reading, it feels like i've mostly been focused on writing these days

i have a bunch but most are fantasy!

the folk of the air trilogy - holly black

enemies to friends-ish to enemies to lovers, mc is a badass and the li is so in love (hes also a menace but mc kinda covers that lmao)

this is a 3 book series with a new series that just dropped that happens after the events of these 3 books

the order is: the cruel prince, the wicked king, the queen of nothing, stolen heir (the new book) but there are also books you can read in between (that i havent read myself)

by far the best book series ive read, i would sell my soul to read it again for the first time

circe - madelline miller

this is a story about circe, a godess (i think) from greek myth. the writing was beautiful, but since its myth, if youre not interested i dont reccomend

(same goes w song of achilles by the same writer)

shadow and bone & six of crows - leigh bardugo

(this one has a two season series on netflix too if youre interested)

shadow and bone - 3 books;

mc is so op honestly, she discovers magical powers early in the book and finds out shes grisha (ppl that have magical powers), but not just any grisha, shes a legend grisha, one of a kind

i dont really remember who she ends up with as its been a while since i read the books but one li is an ass while the other gives golden retriever vibes and i didnt like either of them /lh

six of crows - 2 books;

now listen, i didnt actually read these two books but in the tv show the two series are shown at the same time and i like the characters in this one more

badass gang, thats it. (look more info pls dont trust me)

the kane chronicles - rick riordan

percy jackson is so famous people forget this absolute gem right here.

the idea is the same as percy jackson, except this time its about egyptian gods instead (also techically mc isnt a child of the gods)

it has 3 books, with extra crossover books w pjo (that are also really good once you have the basics)

the midnight library - matt haig

i'm actually not sure what category this falls into.

mc has an accident and ends up at a library at exactly midnight, where the weird librarian tells her that this library is her life (of sorts). basically each book in the library is how her life couldve been like based on some decisions she made

and she keeps going to these other versions of her life by reading the books until she realizes hey, she wants to live, and goes back to her original life

not my favorite, but still an okay one

dune - frank herbert

this is a classic, but it was really good

i dont remember the details, all i really remember was that i had sth for the mc

fr tho its really good, give it a go if long books dont intimidate you

as for books to get into reading again, hmmm

cries okay so dont get mad but the cruel prince got me out of a reading slump

momo - michael ende

this book is so well written istg

mc is a child, first of all. and i dont mean like a teen i mean shes 8 max, shes a literal child but its okay bc there isnt that much action in this one

the main idea of the book is about how precious time is, but its told through such an interesting way. there are time thieves that steal other people's time to live, making it look like theyre helping people save time on mundane things, and momo stops them (not in an insane way i promise)

the secret garden - frances hodgson burnett

this is a classic, but dont let that fool you this is a really well written book

this one has almost no action in it btw

mc is also a child here (shes maybe 12 at most), she moves into the mansion of her uncle after her family dies where she starts to behave like an actual child instead of some spoiled princess/lh

so one day while going on a stroll in the garden area (?) bc no one is there to take care of her now, she finds a secret garden and decides hey since no one seems to care for this garden, this is mine now

also there are other children that she befriends along the way that help her w the garden

def recommend

extra;

anne of green gables (this is so long honestly i ended up just watching the series bc the fact that its 8 books intimidated me at the time - ill get to it eventually)

miss peregrines home for peculiar children (also same as above - i loved the concept tho and ill read it eventually)

percy jackson - a classic

Jayden's Rescue & Old Scroll - vladimir tumanov (these are techincally chrildrens books but theyre also great books so)

[lunatic-fandom-space]

alright so, I have thoughts about the season 5 finale and theyre pretty much all negative. Also, even though Im done with the series I still have a lot of thoughts specifically about whether its a good kids show or not, but I'd have rewatch some kids shows I think are good to refresh my memory a little before I write a detailed analysis on it, so for now this will probably be my last mlb post in a while

A lot of people are really upset because Gabriel got redeemed through death and is presumably going to be remembered as a good person or atleast A Dad Who Tried and a lot of people who liked the finale are responding to that by being like "no, hes not been redeemed, the series constantly showed us how objectively awful of a father he was and how impossible it was to sympathize with him despite his seemingly noble intentions and now hes dead, he hasnt been redeemed and the show is not trying to get us to sympathize with him in any way" and no. I think thats wrong

Lets talk about Chloe for a second. Chloe started out as the obligatory standard mean girl that every show for girls feels the need to have, but then in season 2 the writers were like "what if she had she had some character development, some setup for a full-on redemotion arc later down the line even?" so they put her sob-story about how the was neglected in there and did some other stuff to make her more sympathetic. They werent all that consistant about it tbh, but this is Miraculous Ladybug and thats how we roll babeyy. And then they were like "nevermind actually, we dont want this anymore" and just like that, they stopped bringing up her sob story and stopped trying to make her sympathetic. I get the impression that they were still trying to atleast make her interesting in season 3 with her resisting that akuma but by season 4 she was just more awful and more pathetic than ever before.

Gabriel and his dead-wife-sob-story is functionally the same as Chloe and her neglectful-parents-sob-story except the writers never changed their mind on Gabriel being a sympathetic, if still villainous, character. Like with Chloe, theyre not particularly consistant about it, with there being multiple episodes where hes perfectly fine abusing his son and putting him in danger for the sake of getting the Miraculous. I think that mostly stems from the fact that the writers ultimately want him to be a sympathetic and even tragic character but there are some episodes, like Cat Blanc and Ephemeral, where they just want him to be The Most Evil even towards his own son for the sake of furthering Marinette and Adriens drama, all of that on top of this shows general tendancy towards inconsistancy

So, tldr: no, I think we are meant to sympathize with Gabriel Agreste and also, I doubt we're going to really address him now because I think as far as this show is concerned, we're done with that guy now. the agreste arc is over and we're just not gonna get into it

The other thing that I wanted to talk about was Adriens absence during the fight against Monarch. Ive seen some people defend this by being like "Cat Blanc and Ephemeral prove that Monarch cant ever find out that his son is Cat Noir because he would take advantage of him and his distress and it would result in the end of the world", some people also say that those episodes are proof that Adrien "wouldnt be able to handle the truth" which is really infantilizing and stupid and I dont feel like talking about that particular take rn, so I'll just talk about the former. Obviously my first response to that would be, its a story written by people, they couldve simply not written that in order to have a more dramatically satisfying conclusion. But, if I were to stop being Doylist for a second, I would say, when Ladybug told him that Gabriel Agreste might be Hawk Moth, Adrien was distressed and in denial but nowhere close to becoming akumatized. And I recognize that there is a difference between your friend telling you they suspect your dad of being a supervillain and actually finding out about it for yourself, but still, it couldve and shouldve been different

The thing that kills me about this finale is that I genuinely dont know why it had to be this way because I dont think its like, thematically satisfying which is the first explanation my mind jumps to for these kinds of weird endings.

Like, MLB has this theme of identity and while I dont think its executed that well, its definitely the most complex out of the line up of pretty simplistic themes this show has, so we're gonna talk about it

Ladybug and Adrien are the Ideal to Marinette and Cat Noirs Authentic Self. Theyre not wholly seperate though, because Marinette and Ladybug and Adrien and Cat Noir respectively are still the same people, mask or no mask, its kinda like code-switching actually. You probably act differently around your friends than you act around your family, that doesnt necessarily make one way you act inauthentic. However, Marinette and Chat Noirs situations are not the same; there are two major differences between them and they are connected. Ladybug is essentially Marinettes creation, shes like that OC you have thats like you in every way except theyre cooler and better than you and stuff like that, while Adrien is Gabriels creation, not his own

Marinette starts to become more like Ladybug even when in civillian mode because shes becoming the person she wants to be all the time, shes becoming the Ideal that she set for herself, shes not losing any part of her Authentic Self, shes just changing for the better and finding balance and security. Its different for Adrien because in order to find that same balance between the Ideal and Authentic Self, he needs to shed the Ideal that his father is imposing on him and create on based on what he actually wants, which he cant do because of how controlling he is. As a result, Adrien keeps those two personas almost entirely seperate and they dont meld together into one fully realized identity in the same way they did for Marinette. And I find it interesting because obviously his father is the one forcing Adrien to be the way he is in civillian mode, but hes also inadvertantly giving him an excuse, and even forcing him, to be himself and to "act out" when fighting Hawk Moth/Shadow Moth/Monarch

And idk, I feel like the natural conclusion to all that would be to have him fight Monarch directly in order to truly reclaim himself and start on the path to create his own identity. I guess they kinda tried to do that with the rings but like, he had no agency in that, he doesnt know the true significance of those rings, so it just has no impact

Anyway, thats pretty much it, Im suprised that I had nothing to say about the Senti stuff but honestly, for how much I was worrying about all that, it ended up being a pretty minor part of the actual season and while I hate the concept, they didnt really give me anything to complain about, so yeah

Thanks for reading ^^

[pestopascal]

While I will absolutely agree that CB2077 isn’t the ONLY game doing all this bullshit, or that other AAA studios don’t deserve the flack CDPR is getting, I have to say that this is absolutely the perfect storm and I think people are FINALLY seeing the problems in modern AAA gaming. CB2077 might be fun to play, may have a good story, but it’s almost impossible to see because of the glaring issues. Which, honestly, is a good thing. I hope games change after this.

under here

AAA studios have been like this and this sort of release has been completely normalised on all accounts by both the businesses themselves and fans because of the inherent reliance on modders (bethesda at the forefront of this), as well as the pushback every time companies actually go ‘uh we need a lil more time’ (although... they just shouldnt announce potential release dates, im even of the camp they shouldnt even start releasing the game until like 6 months out from their official date because they fuck it up every time. borderlands 3 being the only game i know of being in “secret” development and then announcing itself in march for a september release. game itself aside, thats how companies should do it). easily i can remember a lot of 2011 release games which have had the exact same issues as cp77′s release, and then every other game in between since. very rarely do you actually have a game that isn’t a fucked up mess of a pile of pixels. and it is always the customisable character ones that are honestly, genuinely, ugly looking at release. but you can definitely say its been happening looooooong before 2011, with unrealistic expectations, word limits, 11 month time frames, offloading sequels to smaller companies so they can suffer if it fails, etc etc. the entire system has been like this for so long... they dont know any real different nowadays.

i mean look. tlou2 released under crunch conditions this year, and was rewarded. it was ALL over the social media feeds, it was quite the controversy because, surprise surprise, the company promised they wouldnt do it uwu and then. bam ! crunch conditions. literally around that time too, bioware employees came out with a statement saying ‘man we wish dai FAILED so that back in 2014 we couldve proven crunch was a wrong practice’. they say this as well after having to produce da2 in 14 months, which just suffered from fans and journalism for reusing environments, because it was produced in 14 months, and honestly? no one pointed that out back then, bioware themselves pointed it out again this year, 6 years after release, that that game was produced in 14 months. rdr2′s release was hounded by stories of crunch, and they all disappeared into the night because... it was heralded as the best game of all time. that was 2018, 2 years ago.

i think too is that some people get kind of ... morally and ethically concerned. which is understandable. can you consume something when you know it was made under conditions like crunch? and i think one of the most confronting things about it is that 9/10, not only has your favourite company engaged in crunch conditions, they almost actively choose to continue with them. and then that’s a whole other bag of issues blown up over there when it comes to what is able to be consumed what isn’t etc etc

i think also like a mix of marketing, promises and then the expectations of what the game will be like have really had cdpr earn the ire of fans which is just like... you don’t believe what these companies are saying. you never should, esp when it’s their ceo’s saying it who don’t work on the actual floor. bioware itself is the main culprit of doing this to the point they finally came around with all the da4 concept art and teasing to be like ‘ummm but actually dont get invested?’. remember all that qunari lady fanart that bioware management was like ... please dont get attached? yeah. yeah. like at what point as well is there going to be heavy level of apprehension to approach this? and i can’t really talk either, i cracked open the door for mass effect again. i know exactly what kind of shit bioware will pull, i know they are teasing it already on social media, but mass effect is my ride or die series. that’s why people keep opening the door on letting these companies get away with it. and you can’t fault fans entirely either because this is down to a science of how to get money. i mean, fuck, mass effect andromeda’s entire advertising campaign HINGED on the n7 logo. for the nostalgia value. and i see text posts in the same vein of both ‘guys, disney isnt gonna fuck you if you consume every remake for nostalgia value’ and ‘its understandable why people do it’.

so then you have to go ‘well are fans as just to blame’ and then that’s a whole other argument.

i think also like. i personally havent run into aaaannnyyyyyyy of the issues that you see posted online. which is ironic bc 1) i play on ps4 and 2) its an old dusty ps4. in fact a lot of ppl i have spoken to who have had issues have played on pc. does this mean the glitches dont exist? ofc not, the vids and screenshots are right there. but like... ive had a basically unhindered experience so far, and i get where ppl are coming from (i do, i promise) where theyve basically found the game unplayable. is there also a standard of what ppl consider unplayable because ive played most AAA games at launch when they basically rushed to slap the box label on the game and called it a day until they work on patches. when ppl consider unplayable is also just... different per person. some people have a slight blur on the screen when turning too fast even in an MMO and decide the game is horrible and unplayable. some people can have broken quests and npcs not loading and falling through maps and still be fine. there’s no agreed statement of what makes a game unplayable either, which is why you read threads on twitter and someone goes ‘yeah this npc t-posed so i quit in the first hour’ with a dozen replies. everyone has different levels of it.

it’s a mixed bag of issues. im not excusing cdpr, but the ppl who worked on the game are honestly likely not the ones who pushed for a release. you’ve gotta look at sony and microsoft and ceo’s with bonuses coming up and the investors and shareholders and people who sit behind computers and read numbers detailing interest and demand and supply and how every single time they had to delay this game, the loudest (but smallest) bunch of assholes on like reddit and in the twitter threads complained that it was delayed AGAIN even though back in what 2015? they said it’ll come out when it’s ready. and yeah there are times when game delays result in a mismatched half assed sort of story (kh3... p5... ffxv... dai...) and then there are times when, if they need to delay the game... they probably need to delay the game. sometimes delays are bad sometimes theyre good sometimes you are sitting there like whew if you only didn’t try to be like THIS TIME this is the release date.

the ONLY WAY this will stop happening is, quite frankly, unionising. and everyone is allergic to that whole concept so like... this is “the perfect storm” as you put it. but it’s also not. people have been so disappointed over the last 2 years alone for gaming companies, the final product, the attitudes from higher ups, that i think cdpr is receiving a good few years worth of anger. i think theyre also on the receiving end of misdirection from american fans who still don’t fucking get the company isn’t american, because that’s another bag of issues as well. like we’re holding at least 8 bags of groceries out of the back of the car now, and we don’t want to take another trip, because there are so many little bits of this entire situation to look at. there’s so much back and forth.

i think the worst, but most realistic thing is: games won’t change. how they will social media wise will. maybe. assuming bioware gets their heads out their asses but... they’re going to be a lot more careful. i mean, hell, sony offered refunds. that was just a publicity stint. they dont give a fuck if the game was bad. as i said before, if they did, they would make all companies fix trophy problems, starting from like 2010 or whenever the trophy system first came out. they just don’t wanna fall in alongside cdpr being thrown on its sword. but the companies are gonna learn from this, get smarter, still do the same shit to their employees, still pay off journalists, still do media blackouts, etc etc. and we’re gonna be here in another year’s time, with another game, having these same roundabout arguments, and cp77′s issues are gonna fade into just a wikipedia article.

[melforbes]

ask meme. what if. patching up. no I still haven’t seen source material

the way i completely forgot about this ask until i wrote like two paragraphs in this and was like oh shit lmao

the source material is getting an hbo series bb you're in luck also ignore anna whatever as tess yes i respect her as an actress yes she is talented in a bunch of things i have not seen but ms annie wersching is the only tess in my heart and also if i have to endure tess being reduced to a powerbitch stereotype i will start foaming at the mouth. but also i have no feelings about this whatsoever <3

WHAT IF: i will pick an important choice or event in my current project and write three sentences (or more?) about if it’d gone done differently

hmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMm

this is hard because i kind of had a stupid amount of confidence in the decisions i had them make in this and because i have ~a lot of experience~ in flying by the seat of my pants with writing lmaooooo a lot of the time with this ive had some degree of foresight when it comes to certain plot decisions. the only reason i have this in the first place is that with other things ive had kind of sort of plot revelations and then been like "well if i'd set that up three chapters ago it would have a huge impact i think but instead i guess it's just going in this one for a smaller impact" so i think i learned my lesson haha. also because this pairing nowadays has a small and sparse tag i really intentionally put in stuff to make it interesting (maybe the wrong word) to reread. like not Interesting interesting but i wanted there to be certain details that are more relevant on a reread than on an initial read because whenever i read stuff in small tags i tend to read it Multiple Times lmaoooooo and it's like if anyone like me is out there I Will Feed You. I Will Give You Food. you see i have this problem in which im like i dont want to act like i put thought into this because That's Embarrassing and i also dont want to seem like i take this too seriously because That's Embarrassing and also i dont want to act uppity or pompous or something But At The Same Time i do put a lot of thought into certain things and i feel like mentioning that and i dont really want to judge myself for that. it's complicated but also super uncomplicated. where was i going with this

OH right. so most of the plot decisions were made super concretely. like pre breakup arc in the nightmares chapters (which came out so much worse than i intended alkdjksjad;glksjg) when tess and joel talk about ellie Knowing (also legit it is such a trip to me that you dont know the context of that. a trip in a good way) she says we every time and he only ever says i even when she points out that this would affect both of them, and at one point i think he says that tess doesnt understand baseless violence which is 100% untrue, and then there's a bunch of window imagery i put in starting there because im a freak. so like For Once In My Life a lot of this was as planned as it could be. on occasion there's been Plot Revelations that get wedged in (the radio interlude chapter, which was a bit of an inelegant seam between prewritten things that didnt mesh well) but for the most part ive got tits out into every decision. like tess and ellie disagreeing about joel's choice was very planned though i imagine that kind of conversation could be executed many different ways i had my one way and stuck to it. so either way

where was i going with this. did i have a point.

OKAY. let's see. i think one of the big ~emotional beats~ so to speak was the ambush chapter and i think that's the favorite because that's usually where people comment if i remember correctly and initially i wasnt going to go with that tone At All haha. years ago i wrote everyday domestic scenes of mulder and scully from x files and had it all on this blog and it was plotless but largely in the same overarching universe (i say as if it was legit ever That Deep) and after writing this as a oneshot and being like you know? Kind of feel like doing that again. i figured i would just follow the same largely plotless path of legit just domesticity and leave it at that. and i think the first like five chapters are tonally different from the rest because i'd never really intended for it to have plot or really any depth whatsoever. in the end like. How do i say this in a way that wont be interpreted as uppity or something asldkjgalsdgjk like. when i did those mulder scully scenes i was very much a beginner and i think i didnt realize just how inherent that beginner-ness was to the concept itself. which isnt a bad thing! like people had fun with those so far as i remember. bizarrely enough i think people might still read those which. cringe. but you kno!!! but with a few years of distance from that kind of concept i think it was hard for me to Not try something else. especially with this universe in which it's just dense with storytelling opportunity. and also i felt as if the first few chapters were just like super super lighthearted and i wanted some angst factor. which is why in the end the angst factor plot itself is flimsy as fuck. like i did not care WHY they got attacked i just wanted that sweet sweet hurt/comfort cup of tea u feel. and after that i didnt really go for the plot too much But i did edge toward it a lot more. like i mean ultimately this is a romance like it was not intended to be plot heavy ever But it's more plot heavy than it couldve been. had i actually written it as i'd intended from the start i think it wouldve gotten old really fast. like nothing but lighthearted domesticity doesnt make sense in this context. for the first few chapters it doesnt necessarily kill the whole thing imo because like. that's the first few chapters. but after then if there was never any ~deeper thoughts~ i think it wouldve gotten reductive super fast.

hmmm what else. Because i am deciding to talk too much on the internet now.

oh in theory the whole breakup arc couldve been omitted and now in retrospect im like it's hilarious that like the next chapter after they got married i immediately peppered in hints that they would break up lkajsdglaksjgdlkj like wow. That lasted a long time. but like i mean i think with them it fits that they would do something like get married before they even said that they loved each other. like i can see them doing a massive workaround instead of doing a small and simple but vulnerable thing. makes sense 2 me. and like they definitely couldve stuck together in the end but 1 theres interesting storytelling in how maybe joel was too stubborn or maybe they grew apart in certain ways or blah blah blah and 2 I JUST LOVE A GOOD BREAKUP AND THEN RETURNING TO EACH OTHER ARC OKAAAAAAAAAY. legit. favorite trope. if i ever experienced that in real life i would claw my eyes out but in fiction it makes me FERALLLL. and also like i mean i lov these two for their dumb quirks but also like it would be a lil wrong to say there wouldnt be consequences for like. Not communicating haha. also again like the world this game is put in is so full of storytelling opportunities and im like Must Take Them All. like joel is stubborn as hell and shuts down when he's overwhelmed and there is growth in the first game (and in the second too but thats not really shown as much and is more left for the player to fill in the gaps i think) but also i think it would be super easy to regress in that sense and i had fun with putting him in those situations. and it's also super fun to have an additional person for the joel and ellie plots to bounce off of. like joel and ellie are two very stubborn people and having an extra person there to be like You Blithering Idiots has been a good time. im getting sidetracked. like it was fun to answer the question of how these two in a marriage neither of them can fully substantiate would communicate in hard times and the answer i personally found was that they both would end up breaking things. which was fun to write!!!!!!!!! but in theory couldve been prevented. maybe i just cant imagine this a different way haha. like Joel And Tess Learn Healthy Communication Skills Over Time. am i mean for saying that doesnt sound probable aldskjgalskdjgslkgj

OH LMAO THE MARRIAGE PART. that was also a big decision i guess. i wouldnt make it go differently alksdjglasdjg like. i definitely couldve written the context around that many different ways bc again this whole is full of opportunity But a frankly premature wedding just feels right to me. especially with like going from being stuck on survival to being safe for the first time in decades. and then having that sense of safety get boring and wondering why there was that super fast wedding in the first place. cant really imagine it going differently

there is later unposted stuff that could def have gone many different ways and that i tried to make go different ways but that would not be right to talk about akldsjaslkgdjsg so.

this got too long sorry <3

[thefreshchannel]

Havent finished tda yet but taking a break bc i was thinking about tdas and heres some thoughts on whether or not these characters shd be considered all stars or not:

- gwen: yes. Unfortunately for gwen she’s been stirring drama since s1. Unintentionally but she’s been involved in the most dramatic parts of the series (heather reading her diary, her relationship w trent constantly falling out, stealing duncan) not to mention her being incredibly popular so whether it pains me to say it but she is a td all star. Also a finalist for s1 so that works

- heather: absolutely. No explanation needed. Queen of drama. Winner/finalist

- duncan: most popular character in the series aside from gwen. Definitely an all star. Winner/finalist

- courtney: love her or hate her they had to put her in because duncney is still obviously popular and fresh cannot resist a good love triangle. U can tell they had absolutely NOTHING planned for courtney by the way they butchered her but. Yeah all star.

- alejandro: winner/finalist. there to find out what ended up happening with him while also probably just there for juicy aleheather moments until unfortunate elimination.

- sierra: uh....i actually have no clue why they put sierra in and made her go cody crazy. If well written she couldve dominated this. But thats not the case here. She made it to 4th place in world tour which i guess counts for something since zoey and scott and cameron can be counted for that too, but then again sierra was only in for one season and i dont think a lot of fans were very fond of her. Debatable all star status.

- cameron: i PURELY believe he’s solely there due to being a finalist/winner and also bc theyre putting mike and zoey in. In my eyes camerons not really much of an all star he just. Happened to win afsjsgsh. I guess popularity with the fans all star because i do know if anything he had more fans than sierra. Do not understand why they had the whole cam/cody thing with sierra.

- lightning: SHA LIGHTNING! I dont remember him being in all stars or how far he got but. I do think he counts because he was a finalist/winner for a season. All star.

- sam: to this day i still wonder why sam. Like is he rlly more popular than brick or dawn?

- scott: s3 villain. Decent villain. All star.

- jo: okay maybe i’m being harsh with the roti cast because of how little i remember it but iirc jo was mostly challenging brick and lightning sgshsh like i like her, she’s a strong player. Debatable.

- zoey: i mean i guess her and mike come as a package. I dont find zoey particularly interesting. I think they WANTED to do something with her having a bunch of skills everyone was like “whoah she can do that?” But ultimately got side tracked for mike’s storyline. She does have the popularity to be an all star tho, focus couples in every season tend to be popular so theres that.

- mike: all star based on fan popularity. Definitely just there to be the plot line of the season. Refuse to go into more detail.

- lindsay: I ALMOST POST THIS WITHOUT HER BC I FORGOT SHE WAS THERE AFSHSGSHGS SEEMED LIKE A WASTE BECAUSE SHE HAS ALL STAR POTENTIAL FROM HER PERFORMANCE IN TDA. BUT LIKE. IS SHE REALLY THAT POPULAR? IN MY HEART SHE’S AN ALL STAR BUT IDK IF U THINK OF OTHER TDI CHARACTERS THEN THERES SOME THAT COULD HAVE MORE OF AN ALL STAR STATUS THAN HER (coughs leshawna)

Again this might change after i finally get to rewatching tdroti but imo if td wanted to have an all star season they shouldve introduced the second gen cast earlier. To me theres a lot of missed opportunities w characters from tdi that could be considered in a more all star status than some of the ones from roti in tdas.

[kamikui]

Onmyoji Movie

HI so I watched the Onmyoji Movie based off of the game last night and . . . . that sure was something!

In all honesty despite the weird path they decided to take, I actually enjoyed the movie. The music and detail in the scenery was amazing, I LOVED the costuming for a lot of the background characters esp in the Demon Realm, and a lot of the easter eggs that were hidden were nice. 

BUT. but. As someone heavily invested in the lore of the game (especially concerning Ibaraki) how they decided to deal with the movie was like. really confusing. It genuinely felt as if NE gave the directors a cast of characters and let them do what they wanted from there w/o any prior knowledge of the game.

(spoilers down below)

Before I really pry into that though, I’ll kinda note some of the characters.

Seimei/Qingming was actually my favorite. I think this is sort of an unpopular opinion right now, but his characterization was so nice even if it sorta leans into the basic drama hero type personality. In the game Seimei is supposed to be you/the player, and not everyone is going to have the same interpretation of him-- and that’s what the movie felt like, a different interpretation. I will say I didn’t really like them making him related to their version of Orochi. I believe the snakes name was Xiangliu? I can’t remember, but I didn’t see the reason in that. 

If anything, keeping him a fox and having a version of Tamamo no Mae popping up to offer advice to help with the situation would’ve been nicer, and that’d keep more of Seimei’s backstory kept in tact-- because asides from him becoming an Onmyoji apprentice at a young age we literally do not know shit about him. And legit I wouldn’t necessarily mind bc it’s a movie, you’re not going to get everyone’s backstory within 2 hrs, but we can’t really get attached to him.

Yao Bikuni/Baini was. Hm. I like her as a character in the movie, but I don’t like where she’s placed as a character in the movie. She’s a Seer? in the game and tbh it should’ve stayed that way, like I honestly can’t see her willingly working for one clan. “But how would she--” In game she is also influenced by Seimei pretty heavily, as in the in game chapters she believed he would be able to kill her. Up until she got manipulated by Orochi, she stuck to his side. With the Stone plot in the movie, if it put him in danger she would be there in order to try and help him, OR, try and pull him to join Orochi if they went that route. And they KINDA tried to hint at it when Seimei “died” with Orochi using her image, but like. come on man. Let Yao be evil for a little bit.

That being said I didn’t like the Master & Shikigami bit with those two, or the implied romance they tried to pull with them. Canonically Seimei legit brushes her off and when shes like “ohhh you’ll kill me right” hes like “lol sure” and thats IT. Literally any form of romance that’s tried at Seimei he brushes it off. he’s not into it he’s an amnesiac.

The “Oh if you become my shikigami you won’t become evil” thing was :/ to me as well because again, canonically, even though Seimei is being taunted he can contain the Kitsune part pretty well even when he wasn’t aware he was kitsune. Like I think the part as a kid was a good bit to add since it’s when he’s first being exposed to Onmyoji type stuff, but like. idk idk I couldn’t vibe with that power dynamic while they were trying to hint romance.

Continuing on with Hiromasa/Yuan Boya and Kagura/Shenle, again considering this is a movie, I’m somewhat content with their characters.

I really liked how energetic this Kagura was, and given they weren’t able to do her actual backstory, I liked the one she was given. Her introduction in the movie was really great too-- and compared to Hiromasa I felt they gave her a little more attention? Which like fine, but not so good for Hiro.

They didn’t even. Discuss his archery skills at any point which was disappointing. The most plot relevance he (and honestly Kagura too) had was finding Seimei while trying to arrest him but that’s it. And yes they showed some of his skill while he was fighting Kamaitachi, but that’s the extent of it. AGAIN i’ll consider the fact this was a movie and they didn’t have enough time to fit EVERYTHING in, but since they gave Yao and Seimei so much attention you would think they’d be able to spare some for the other two protagonists in the game. 

Before I leave those two tho I’m still trying to figure out what the fuck happened in the end. Like did hiromasa get promoted in some form? was he given credit for what happened between the demon realm? Why did he separate from Kagura since they got close during the movie? I guess like bc work duties but still. I have no idea tho like i was sitting there not processing a single thing. Regardless I did like Hiro and Kags acting like siblings despite in this canon them not being related (at least it’s never clarified).

Ok so before I dive into the whole mess that is the Cimu/”Ibaraki” character, stuff on side characters.

While I didn’t like the outfits for Sakura(? Momo? Both of them?) or Chocho, I liked the roles that they held as sort of trainers for the rest of Seimeis shikigami. In fact I liked the whole courtyard ordeal in general. I have my own worldbuilding thing that has a similar theme so seeing it being used canonically was pretty nice. I do wish we could’ve seen more SSRs or even SRs though. Like, why couldn’t Aoandon be hanging out in the courtyard to give gossip to Hiro & Kagura? Yamakaze or Shishio hanging out in the forest, or like. bruh even Jikikaeru as the boss in the Showdown considering he runs that in game. 

I did like the fish man! I really did, but literally everything about him could’ve been Jikikaeru, I don’t think it’s that hard to make a frog man. 

Also as mentioned previously it would’ve been nice to see Tamamo make an appearance considering he makes random ones every now and then. The Mujou Brothers could’ve helped the shikigami when they were escaping Seimeis courtyard, Shiranui could’ve been an entertainer while they were traveling through the demon realm, HAKU??? couldve been one of Seimeis shiki?? literally anyone. They have all these misc characters in the background but barely any of them resemble in game characters.

GOD EVEN KOSODENOTE COULDVE BEEN THERE . . . . at the scene where Kagura was messing with jewelry and clothing . . . Koso couldve been the seller. Aobozu could’ve worked at the shrine . . . . I just. Man.

ANYWAYS . . . pulling from that and going into whatever the hell Cimu is. god.

So according to casting, Cimu is supposed to be Ibaraki. But the thing is. There’s only like. 3-4 Elements about Ibaraki that goes into him. Everything else is Shuten which i honestly find pretty funny?? Take away the homophobic jokes and combine the gay coded character into his love interest. Which I mean that’s better than making them brothers but at what cost.

anyways. Cimu previously being an onmyoji but turning evil -> shuten previously being a monk and turning evil. The design of the hand that Cimu uses as transportation -> SP Shutens design where he sits on two hands. Red hair -> shuten. The horns, eye color (minus scleras), arm getting chopped off, and his ambition to grow stronger are really the only parts of Ibaraki that’s in the character-- and even then you could say Shuten has a similar ambition of growing stronger. It’s just so scuffed. 

ALSO IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. literally it doesn’t make sense when you look at the characters.

Why couldn’t they just stick with Kuro Seimei considering the fact that this Ibaraki works with Ootengus and Yuki Onna/The Snow Queen? They could’ve given Seimei a twin brother to work off of this. But like if they really wanted to keep Ibaraki and Shuten, they could’ve made it that Shuten was being manipulated by Orochi and Ibaraki was serving him, because there’s a LOT of shit you could do just with Shuten by himself. Legit no reason to combine the two since they’re BOTH heavily marketed characters. 

Legit like, Shuten being controlled, given Ibaraki’s loyalty to Shuten he would most likely follow him no matter what, and even like. Have a form of Momiji to kind of help out-- probably at a heavy expense of Shuten doing something for her, but still. like i LOVED the snow queen, I loved this interpretation of yuki so I wouldn’t want to get rid of her, but they shouldve went with Seimei 2 instead of “ibaraki”. It’s just so much and it doesn’t make sense. 

Now orochi himself and how that was handled was like. Okay I guess. If anyone was being talked to through their head at the time it should’ve been Yao Bikuni considering she allies with him in canon at one point. but like whatever. I did think the end was neat where Seimei forced him into becoming his shikigami, like I liked that whole process. Otherwise all antagonists were pretty underwhelming.

I also was not fond of the ending where like Seimei just turns away at the broken bridge. Like does this mean the Demon realm is completely cut off now? just fix the bridge. Also does Seimei just fuck off?? I know theres a scene where he’s standing on the roof but. i dont know. 

Regardless the movie was great, I had fun watching it. When ibaraki came in I accidentally paused the movie a couple of times while spamming screenshots. Even tho hes like kinda ugly but that’s ok. There WERE some angles where he was hot as hell but otherwise they did his actor so dirty. The horns were just. God I won’t delve into that bc this post is long as hell BUT. BUT. THE MOVIE WAS GOOD. just not if ure into the lore for the game LMAO.

Ok that’s it for now bye

[21ate]

do you ever think about how a mostly overlooked part of komaeda as a character is the fact that he has frontotemporal dementia, which can damage an individuals emotional responses, personality, and actions? like... it explains a lot abt his actions in game and makes udg hurt more cuz like. a lot of what they do to the servant is just? taking advantage of that? i am in pain

hmmm…

well first i just wanna say i wouldnt really consider the situation between the warriors of hope and komaeda as them taking advantage of him really? cause for one thing, komaeda was an adult by that time (or at least close to adulthood)…and the woh are children

if anything, komaeda was the one taking advantage of the children by teaming up with monaca and forcing the game to continue, which he only did as a means to serve his own twisted beliefs about hope and despair 

and this couldve easily been among his worst offenses as a remnant of despair given that we’re initially led to believe that the woh komaru defeats were killed as a result (i.e.: executed)…but like, as it turns out, they all survived. so ?? 1 point for komaeda there, but -99 points since his involvement is directly tied to the WOH’s demon hunting game. people still died, and a lot of em at that

but anyways back to your point about his dementia lmao

yes ive thought about it before and currently, im torn about whether i believe komaeda was telling the truth or not tbh?

i dont doubt that komaeda is mentally ill in some way, but yknow, the confession regarding this topic is scrutinized as possibly being a lie by hajime (especially as komaeda goes on to say he had just read about it in a book)

like obviously i cant take even THAT at face value because when having to separate lies from facts as part of analyzing a character like komaeda, i dont think it makes sense to try and pin down the “real truth” at all anyways? because for one thing, unless there is explicit and intentionally wrote in evidence to prove a statement wrong, it may as well be quite literally impossible to determine what the real truth is since we dont know every single detail that went into kodaka’s story

that being said, there does seem to be proof that komaeda has problems of course - but also that his problems and he as a character himself are not meant to be seen as inherently bad or evil just because he’s suffering from something. i mean idk what else im supposed to take away from how his arc concludes - he and the other remnants actually get to redeem themselves and become better people. part of the hardship of such a thing is having to grapple with the cruelties of not just the world around you, but also your own perception and thinking and behavior

whether komaeda has frontotemporal dementia specifically kinda doesnt matter to me because the subtext is enough to consider him neurodivergent and trying to cope, and his character arc doesnt end up demonizing him for it i think

and dont get me wrong i used to feel like having that label among the other tidbits of information about komaeda was like essential knowledge and it still is, but NOT because of its specificity necessarily. rather, the fact that komaeda would potentially LIE about having the condition or the lymphoma or whatever…and then knowing all the other undeniably traumatic shit we can for certain say happened thanks to dr3 - all that right there leads me to the same conclusion anyways without having to think too hard about the implications of komaeda having that specific diagnosis. theres just no way id ever believe it if someone claimed komaeda isnt mentally ill…a person cant go thru the amount of trauma he has and come out unscathed, yknow?

so yeah i AM in pain over komaeda because he’s certainly gone through the wringer his entire life and thats what shaped his beliefs and behavior…but behind all that pain is his genuine kindness and humanity and willingness to befriend hajime and the rest as they work towards creating a better future not for some third party’s best interest but THEIR OWN…and thats incredibly important to remember too

[crybabiegeeks]

Just got sent one of those questionnaires that are just an excuse to talk about yourself but fuck it.

1. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them?

The first one that I can remember would be a guy called Liam in year three but I’m sure there were people before that. I’m pretty sure it was because of some silly shit like he was sporty and played soccer hahaha

2. What is one thing you regret having done or not done in your life?

Every time I think of my number one regret there’s one memory that comes to mind. I’m going to hide some details because it’s too embarrassing to tell truthfully on here. When I was fifteen I was drinking in a park with friends and then did mdma. I ended up hooking up with a really SHIT guy, like honestly one of the worst people I will ever meet. It went further than that and the whole night was a complete mess I’ve never experienced again the feelings I had on that night I think its the most unsafe and anxious I’ve ever felt, being alone and drugged up with this psychotic douche bag in a park at three AM. I later found out while coming down that the dickhead had a girlfriend, not only that but his bestfriend was in love with me which caused me and him to lose our friendship. I didnt know at the time that the friend’s feelings for me were so strong and what I did really hurt him.

3. Which parent do you identify with the most?

Definitely my mum. The similarities I see between me and my dad scare me.

4. What do you think you cook or bake the best?

My pasta bake changes lives

5. If you could change your first name what would it be?

When I was a kid i always wanted to be called Lilly, I couldn’t decide now though.

6. Can you hula hoop?

Only on my arm

7. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people?

When I get loud and obnoxious without realising it

8. Have you considered running for president?

God no im a mess

9. If you had to choose one thing you were most passionate about, what would it be and why?

I hate being asked what my passions are. I feel like if you dont play a music or a sport then youre just basic. I dont read heaps or get into politics or anything like that. I guess it’d be music and films but isn’t that everyone?

10. Who are you most envious of—real or fictional—and why?

I’ve never thought about this before, I dont know how Im meant to pick one person because im pretty much jealous of everyone

11. Where is the most beautiful place on earth and why?

This isnt the most beautiful place on earth because I have no way of knowing where that is, but my favourite spot in the world is on this rock me and my sister discovered as kids. Its near my house down on the water. Sitting there at sunset is so incredibly beautiful.

12. Are ghosts real?

Hope not

13. Are aliens real?

Hope so

14. How old is the most expired item in your fridge?

Dont think anything in there would be

15. What are your favorite style of underwear?

Lace cheeky ones

16. What’s the saddest song you’ve ever heard?

Off the top of my head Id say let down by radiohead

17. How about the sweetest song?

Falling slowly from the Once soundtrack

18. Do you know how to play dominoes?

Yep

19. What’s under your bed?

My box of memories from highschool

20. Have you ever prank called someone?

Yess

21. 100 kittens or 3 baby sloths?

SLOTHS what kind of question is this

22. Are you proud of what you’re doing with your heart and time right now?

I think relatively, i finally feel like im on track with what i want to do with my life. I wish that i had a connection with someone at the moment but theres not much you can do about that hey

23. Why or why not?

I explained already

24. How many bones have you broken?

surprisingly none, torn my acl and meniscus twice however

25. Have you ever won anything? Big or small?

nothing more than concert tickets

26. If you could buy one material thing, and money was not an issue, what would it be?

first thing that came to mind was air pods

27. What’s your favorite movie from your childhood?

twilight, i dont know why but i can watch it over and over again

28. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat?

vegemite

29. What’s the best way to comfort you when you’re having a really terrible day?

Cigarette, cuddles, and a movie in bed

30. Has anything/anyone every saved your life before?

Not that I can think of

31. Would you ever adopt a child?

Definitely

32. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try

Skateboarding haha im so uncoordinated though and itd be extremely embarassing if i just started

33. If you were a cake which cake would you be?

id like to think a red velvet cupcake

34. What is the most important material possession you have and why?

My box of memories think the reason is a given

35. What is the most important memory you have and why?

I cant think of any big good memories that have had huge impacts on my life its mostly the bad ones that have. But thinking about it now, Im doing what i want to be doing and im relatively happy so they cant have been to bad hey

36. When was the last time you cried?

On saturday night, I was talking to my bestfriend about his mum who recently passed away.

37. How old was your mother when she had you?

thirty

38. Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with?

tom holland

39. Is there something you wish you had said sorry for but never did?

to my step sister for not trusting her, i still dont know what really happened but i wish i stuck by her i couldve made a difference in her life.

[etherealskeletons]

･ ･ ･

now that i moved REALLY far away from my family and dont have a working cellphone they can blow up at odd hours. i dont have to play therapist for them anymore, i dont have to listen to their bs sob stories, i dont have to worry about something being thrown at me or getting screamed at or guilted -- i dont actually have to do anything with them. i dont think ive ever felt so.. i dunno? peaceful? happy in my own home? its a nice feeling, i hope this feeling never goes away

sometimes my family tries to talk to me via my dad and act like we’re the best of pals and tell him how much they miss me and love me and everything under the sun [except my moms side of the family, they completely disowned me and cut me off. i actually havent heard anything from them since i moved]

im still mad at all of them to be honest, and i dont think ill ever forgive them for all the shit they put me through. and i KNOW that makes me sound like a Bitter Asshole, and everyone always says you should love your family because “theyre the only family you have” but jesus, they did so much damage to me

like my moms side is a whole train wreck. they always made me feel so hideous and unwanted, theyd try to screw with my memories and tell me things that happened didnt really happen or that im exaggerating. they kept me around p*dos and drug addicts, theyd always tell me how obese i was despite being 90lbs soaking wet, how ugly i was because i didnt wear makeup and because i wore clothes i was comfy in, they never once said i love you to me. i was nothing but a burden my mother would shove onto them while she went out to party and get high

i always talk about how shitty my moms side of the family is. my dads side of the family was real shitty too though. like, it wasnt just my shitty uncle or my crazy aunt, just about all of them were really fucking shitty and werent afraid to lash out on me

theyd all say how much they love me, but theyd criticize every little thing i did and make huge deals out of any small mistakes i did, they also made me feel just as gross and hideous like my moms side of the family would, they loved screaming, they would throw things near or at me, they loved to tell me everything they put me through didnt happen. there was a mixed bag of family members that would either go “your mother is a fucking whore” or “your mother is a saint who did nothing wrong, you just want to make her look bad. youre such a fucking asshole.” oh man and dont even get me started on the amount of times ive been told i should be thankful that i live with them 5 or 6 days of the week because theyre wayyy better than “that trashy shithole your whore of a mothers family is” [and dont get me wrong i AM thankful i wasnt with my mom 24/7!! but still.] and sometimes theyd tell me my dad wouldve been better off if i wasnt born, because then he wouldnt have been stuck dealing with my “whore of a mother” for 16 years while raising me. he couldve been successful if it wasnt for me

sometimes i remember the shit they put me through in vivid detail, sometimes i dream it. sometimes i end up melting down because its all too much to remember, and it just hurts

i always knew i was terrified of a good majority of my dads side of the family, but i never wanted to accept it. i guess its because i found it hard to believe that both sides of my family were equally as bad

it was hard to make friends when i became homeschooled. i mean, i was already painfully shy, but my family didnt try to get me out of my shell. instead they all guilted me into staying home 24/7 to take care of everything. i actually spent more time taking care of my grandparents and their hoarded up house than doing any of my studies [maybe thats why i feel so stupid all the time]

really, i couldnt do fucking anything. if i even had ONE HOUR to myself for therapy theyd yell at me, degrade me, and say how selfish i am because i could be using that time to take care of my family. id actually end up missing a lot of appointments because of them. they would have a huge fit and id have to stay home or take my grandparents to appointments because they just didnt feel like it and thought since all i do is apparently sit on my stupid fucking ass all day its the least i could do. even though i would give so much to them. id give and give and give, and they would still have the audacity to demand more from me

there was a good handful of times where i was extremely suicidal and on the brink of doing somethin stupid, and all my family cared about was having/running up all my credit. we’d get into arguments where id be crying about how i wanna fucking die damn near every day, and all they would say back to me was stupid shit like “Okay so what?? If youre so suicidal you shouldnt care if I use up all your credit for this family!” which was really code for running up all my credit on themselves on God only knows what. most likely drugs, hookers, or useless shit we already had or didnt need.. my dads side of the family only ever really cared about money. they were all so fucking greedy. if i ever used MY OWN money on myself, my dad, or my little sister, they would call me selfish and make me feel shitty and say dumb shit like “oh, you should be using that on your family that cares about you, yknow?”

just like my moms side of the family, my dads side of the family didnt care about me. i was nothing more than a free servant and laborer

[hysterialevi]

Abraham - A RDR2 Fanfic

Fanfic summary [NO SPOILERS]: Lyle Morgan and his eleven-year-old son have a conversation about Beatrice’s death, only for the boy to witness a second one.

Warning(s): Mild language

Author’s note: Bear with me if not everything in this story is correct. I’m not entirely sure where Arthur’s originally from (all I’ve heard is that he’s from somewhere in the north), so I just made something up lol. Also, this fic will only be one part. Anyway, hope you enjoy :)

From Lyle’s POV

A FOREST SOMEWHERE IN MONTANA

SUMMER, 1874

Strollin’ through the tall, thick grass, I led my mount around the forest at a casual pace while my son sat on top, consumed by his journal as always. It was an hour or two before midday, and right now, there was a radiant blanket o’ sunshine bathing the entire forest, painting everything with a golden tint. It was beautiful, and I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the day out here...but this feeling of annoyance just wouldn’t stop naggin’ me, and I knew exactly why.

I briefly glanced over my shoulder, peering at my son as he scribbled something down in the weathered pages of his journal.

A quick sigh escaped me.

I didn’t know who the hell Arthur got his interest in art from, or why Beatrice even bothered buying him that book, but that child just couldn’t seem to take his eyes away from it. Every time I came across the boy, he was always scratchin’ down some fantasy world of his, or creating images of a utopia I ain’t ever seen. It was pointless.

He spent more time daydreamin’ in that book than he did playing outside, or hunting, or fishing -- hell, he didn’t even know how to read -- and yet, Beatrice seemed perfectly content with it.

Or at least...she did.

Beatrice weren’t around no more. She was killed by bandits a few months ago. Robbed. Left on the side o’ the road for the crows to feed on. But Arthur didn’t know that. Sheriff told him it was a wild animal that took her. A wolf, to be exact. And he believed him.

I dragged a hand down my face, suddenly feelin’ exhausted just thinking about it.

Had I done the right thing, not tellin’ Arthur the truth about his own mother’s death, I wondered? I figured the kid didn’t need to know the morbid details, or even the entire truth, but I still felt like a piece of shit for not revealing the full story -- especially considering that them bandits who killed Beatrice...killed her ‘cause of me.

I had stolen something from them. Somethin’ valuable. And before it fell into their dirty hands, that “something” apparently belonged to a rich plantation owner who really wanted it back. Ended up gettin’ one of the bandits hanged, and left them thirsty for revenge. But they didn’t have the strength to go after the plantation owner. So, they came after me instead.

They chased me for quite a while. They chased me across the mountains, across the swamps, across the goddamned snow...until finally, they came to their senses and realized there were much better, more convenient ways of hurtin’ me. And thus, their paths diverted to my wife and son.

Those bastards managed to corner her while she was ridin’ to town to do some shopping. Found her on some secluded road between here and the nearest settlement, and ensured she would never return. That was when Arthur went lookin’ for help to find his missing mother hours later, and the sheriff assured him a wolf had gotten to Beatrice.

Christ. I really was a terrible father, weren’t I? Not only did I pay more attention to a bottle o’ whiskey than my own wife, I had also neglected Arthur for years on end, and indirectly gotten his mother killed. And the boy was only eleven.

He had spent half of his life not knowing a damned thing about where his daddy was, or even what he did, only to lose the one parent he already had before he could find out.

Lord...there had to be some way to make this up to him.

I looked back at the boy, suddenly feeling an urge to say something -- anything -- to him.

“Arthur,” I called out, catching the kid’s attention as his head perked up from behind the journal’s pages, “put that damned book away for a moment, will you?”

The boy hurriedly marked his place in the journal with a pen and shut it closed, resting the object on the saddle’s surface as he hung his head low in shame.

“...Sorry, sir.” He murmured.

I shook my head, lettin’ out a concerned breath.

“You spend far too much time in that journal. It was a mistake to buy it.”

Arthur’s eyes wandered to the trees towering around us.

“I’m sorry, dad,” he apologized timidly. “But I like drawing.”

I scoffed. “Yeah? Well, I like Poker. But I ain’t got time to play it. Too busy worryin’ about survival, and keeping the both of us fed. You can’t always do what you want, Arthur. You gotta provide. Things like drawing, gambling...they’re frivolous. We got better things to worry about.”

The child quirked a brow. “Friv-uh-less...? What’s that mean?”

“It means we don’t need to do it,” I explained. “What we do need, however, is to eat. So put that journal away and keep an eye out for deer. You was the one who suggested we come out here in the first place.”

Arthur frowned in a discouraged manner. “Yes, sir.”

I gave him a stern nod. “Good boy. Now...you said you seen a big buck out here?”

The boy pointed ahead. “Yeah. It was by the river.”

I gave the reins a little tug, urging my horse to follow me. “Then that’s where we’ll start. C’mon, Boadicea.”

Continuing our little hunting trip, Arthur and I traveled deeper into the lively woods as creatures of all types scurried around us, rustling blades of grass and alerting the tiny insects that hovered above the plants.

There was a rather peaceful mood to the forest today -- a welcome change considerin’ how chaotic my life usually was -- and I had to admit: some part of me enjoyed being here with Arthur. I rarely ever got to see the boy because of my work as an outlaw, and when I did, he always seemed reluctant to leave the house. Whether that was because he was more of an indoors person, or simply ‘cause he weren’t eager to spend time with me -- I didn’t know. But it was good to be with him regardless.

Approaching the large river, I came to a temporary halt as I crouched down and examined the ground, carefully searchin’ for any tracks that could’ve possibly led us to the buck.

The area here appeared undisturbed -- save for the fish flopping in and out of the babbling water -- and as far as I could tell, there weren’t no deer running around this section of the forest. Not at the moment, anyway. Maybe they were at a different part of the river.

I took a closer look at the grass, only to be torn away from my thoughts when Arthur raised a question.

“Dad?” He asked softly. “Can I...can I ask you something? About momma?”

I paused, thrown off-guard by the sudden change in tone.

“Momma?” I repeated, slowly turning towards the boy. “Why you wanna talk about her?”

Arthur’s expression sank with sorrow.

“It’s just...you knew her better than I did. Or longer, I guess. And I don’t remember her that good. ...Do you?”

I gazed at him in a puzzled manner, admittedly still a bit taken aback by the abrupt question.

“...Clear as day,” I replied, unwilling to sift through the painful memories. “But that don’t matter. She’s...she ain’t coming back, Arthur. No one does, once they die. Ain’t no point in lingerin’ in the past when it can only haunt you. All we can do is move on. You understand?”

Clearly a bit hurt by my response, Arthur dropped the subject and averted his eyes from me, peering over at a nearby gathering of flowers instead.

He slouched despondently. “...I understand.”

That wasn’t good enough for me. I took a step towards him.

“Look at me when you say that, Arthur,” I demanded. “It’s important you look people in the eye when you speak to them.”

The boy brought his line of sight back to me, his face veiled behind a very subtle layer of fear.

He straightened his back a bit. “I understand.”

I nodded in approval. “Good. Now...let’s get back to huntin’ this buck. You sure it was around the river?”

Arthur gazed around. “I saw it this morning when I was playing with Copper,” he confirmed. “It was drinkin’ water right here. That’s when I came to get you.”

I observed the dirt underneath me, squinting my eyes as I searched for clues. The grass in these parts was quite thick, so that made it even tougher to spot fur, or dung -- and I still didn’t see any deer tracks -- but it certainly looked like another animal had been around here.

I kneeled down, shuffling the grass outta the way with my hand.

“It looks like some wild horses might’ve passed through this area,” I examined. “But no sign of deer. Oh, well...the day is still young, and we have some time, so we’ll keep looking.” I gestured to a nearby bridge. “Let’s try over there.”

Grabbing my horse’s reins, I continued to guide it through the woods as Arthur scouted the area for me, his big blue eyes scanning the sharp horizon while the sun escalated in the sky. There was a certain determination in his temperament now, and the longer we carried on trying to locate this buck, the more my son seemed to be enjoying himself.

Perhaps there was hope for us, after all.

“...Dad?” The boy called again, making me flick my eyes to the side. “What if there are wolves out here?”

I encouraged him to stay calm. “Now, don’t you go worryin’ about that. If we see wolves out here, we’ll be fine. We’re armed, we’re fast, and we’re smart.”

Arthur wasn’t convinced. “...Momma was smart.”

I sighed in a melancholic tone at that. “Yes...she was. But...Momma was killed by a different type of wolf.”

He tilted his head in a puzzled manner. “What d’you mean?”

I gestured to my rifle. “Not all wolves are the same, Arthur. Some use their teeth, some use their guns, and some use their tongue. You gotta be able to identify them when you see ‘em.”

The kid didn’t say it flat out, but I could tell he knew what I was really talkin’ about.

“Those sound more like people.” He replied. I let out a gentle chuckle.

“People can be worse than wolves, Arthur. In fact, I’d prefer a wolf over some o’ the people I’ve met.”

Arthur leaned forward in the saddle, his body swaying along with Boadicea’s steady speed.

“What kinda people have you met?”

I lowered my voice, thinking back to the bandits who killed Beatrice.

“Killers. Thieves. Deceivers. Men who will constantly betray each other even though they share the same motive: greed.”

I turned to Arthur with a remorseful look, hopin’ to do at least one right thing in my life, and use myself as a cautionary tale that money weren’t as clean as it seemed.

“...Greed,” I told him, “it breaks people, Arthur. They may not realize it, ‘cause greed can get you far in this world...but the reward ain’t worth it. Not compared to the things you have to sacrifice. In the end, you’ll have tons of cash, only to realize that there are luxuries not even millionaires can afford.”

His innocence took over. “Then why do they do it?”

That was a question I asked myself everyday. I shrugged in a disheartened fashion.

“Because they don’t care. So long as their pockets is heavy, and their bellies is full, they’ll keep on going. But like I said, greed poisons you. It kills you. And you won’t even notice until you’re already sittin’ in a grave. So promise me, Arthur, promise me that when you get to my age...you won’t become a wolf.”

Despite evidently bein’ a little confused, the child was able to make some sense of what I just said and agreed to the promise, reassuring me with a small smile.

“I promise.”

“Good boy,” I praised, bringing my mind back to the main reason we came out here. “Anyway, here’s the bridge. Why don’t you hop down and help me find this buck?”

“Okay.”

Sliding down the saddle, Arthur effortlessly climbed down and joined me, scurrying ‘round like a mouse while he searched for any signs of the buck. But so far, there was nothing in sight.

“See anything?” I checked. The boy shook his head.

I wiped some sweat off my brow, letting out a fatigued sigh. This animal was certainly proving to be a challenge to hunt down. We had already been in this forest for a couple hours now, and our efforts still hadn’t paid off. Part o’ me was almost starting to suspect if Arthur even saw a deer in the first place, and not some other kinda animal.

I decided to take a short break, and turned to ask the boy.

“You positive the buck was roamin’ around in these parts? Or that it was a buck at all? I haven’t seen any tracks so far.”

A soft rustle suddenly reached my ears, interrupting my conversation with Arthur as I reached for my gun, only to be stopped by a sound I didn’t expect.

It was a man’s voice.

“...Don’t even think about it,” the stranger warned, cocking his own gun. “I will shoot if necessary.”

Freezing at the intrusion, I remained perfectly still and didn’t utter a single word as a pair of footsteps steadily approached me from behind, followed by two more men coming in from the front on horseback.

They were all dressed in similar outfits donned with Nevada hats, and I couldn’t help but notice the star-shaped badges shimmerin’ blatantly on their chests.

Shit. These were lawmen. What the hell were they doin’ out here? I never expected the law to travel this far into the country. This was definitely odd.

What really puzzled me though, weren’t the fact that there were three lawmen just...waitin’ for us out here -- it was more the fact that Arthur didn’t seem phased by any of this in the slightest. Just what exactly was goin’ on?

Trotting closer to me, one of the mounted men glowered in my direction as he ordered his deputy to restrain me, his firm, steel eyes never wavering.

I recognized him instantly.

“...Sheriff Buchanan.” I muttered through gritted teeth.

He returned the greeting, scowling from under his hat’s rim.

“Lyle Morgan.”

I shrugged at him, unsure of what to make of the situation.

“What is this shit? What’s the sheriff doing all the way out here?”

Buchanan glanced at Arthur, standing in front of him in a protective manner.

“I told you I’d use every option I had to get you behind bars, Morgan...and I meant it. You made the choice not to heed my warning.”

Taking a second to process what he just told me, the realization suddenly hit me like a bullet to the gut as I stared at Arthur with a sense of immense betrayal, unable to believe what was happening.

There never was no goddamned buck.

Things was never gonna work out for me and Arthur.

This was all a trap.

My own...son...had turned me in.

He was the bait, and Buchanan was the true hunter.

I clenched my jaw in rage, doing my absolute best to shield my emotions as the deputy kicked me to my knees.

“...A-Arthur...?” I whispered, my voice trembling.

The boy looked me straight in the eye, standing adamantly beside Buchanan as his deputies tied me up. I threw a glare at the sheriff, damning him till my last moments.

“You bastard, Buchanan...!” I cursed. “You turned my own damned son against me...?!”

The man showed no guilt and tightened his grip on his rifle, silently advising me to stay back.

“No need,” Buchanan denied. “You drove him to me all by yourself.”

He placed a gentle hand on Arthur’s shoulder and guided him towards the second deputy, ordering them to bring him back to town.

“Clayton, bring the boy back to the office. We’ll figure out where to send him later. For now though, just keep him safe, and look after him.”

“Right away, Sheriff.”

Preparing both his horse and mine for departure, the deputy left Arthur next to the sheriff as the boy stood firmly in place, his innocent yet damaged gaze never leavin’ mine.

Despite the hint of remorse clouding the child’s eyes, it was pretty obvious Arthur felt he made the right decision in turning me in. And just as Buchanan’s second deputy started to drag me away, I couldn’t help but notice a beautiful Whitetail buck wanderin’ around in the distance, its majestic antlers standing out like a crown on a monarch’s head as it bathed in the golden sunlight.

The animal swayed its head in my direction, almost as if trying to communicate with me.

“I’m sorry, dad,” Arthur whispered as he walked towards Clayton, blocking the buck in the process. “...But you made me promise.”

Taking his leave, the boy finally mounted up and steadily trotted away from the scene, only to reveal an empty spot where the buck once stood as he left the forest.

Well...I may have found the buck like I planned, but it weren’t my job to kill it.

And it certainly weren’t my place to look for it.

I could hunt them down to my heart’s content, and kill ‘em all I wanted for my own desires...but in the end, they would always be able to afford the one luxury I’d never obtained.

Peace.

[ssj4]

Sorry to bother you, but I keep seeing posts about a future Goten AU and I keep getting really curious! However, when I try to find links to anything about it I end up at some abandoned URLs.

SECOND TIME TRYING TO ANSWER THIS CAUSE MY IDIOT ASS FORGOT I HAD ONE TYPED OUT AND CLOSED EVERYTHING :)

some disclaimers im getting most of this from an old draft i had written about the au, i havent watched the specific scenes in dbz and dbs that these are based on in well over 2+ years so i dont remember the timeline of events that well so im sorry if some of it just straight up doesnt make sense lol

this whole thing did start out as an excuse to replace the romantic scenes with mai in dbs with goten actually so the truten themes are pretty significant but that aside future goten is a very good boy with a much different personality and outlook on things… much like how future trunks is compared to his main timeline counterpart :3c the whole thing was developed by me and my gf together and we never rly posted too much about it and the broken links you did end up finding were probably from like the one or two times we did but here u go im glad u asked 

I HOPE THE READ MORE LINK WORKS ON MOBILE IF NOT IM SORRY

the big change is it starts out with chi chi getting pregnant before goku dies of heart disease or whatever in the android saga instead of the cell saga, so even after he dies in that timeline she still has their 2nd son and he grows up in the future timeline with trunks.

when they were kids (like 10-15) goten was stronger than trunks just bc gohan and chi chi were there to teach him just a little bit. trunks and goten sparred a lot though so he was able to keep up but never really passed him. (that part isnt really important but i figured it was a nice detail that made sense)

thats when history of trunks comes into play, and they both get really serious about gohan training them. the scene in the movie where gohan knocks trunks out before flying off and getting killed is the same except now he just knocks out 2 kids instead of 1 i guess. 

i feel i gotta add that this au was created when the future trunks arc in dbs was airing, and mai was introduced as his love interest, and honestly in my opinion the scenes were written really well but i just wasnt digging the fact that before she was granted a younger appearance she was already middle aged, like she was old enough to be his mom if that makes sense. so it really isnt a dig on mai at all cause i love her and id die for her its just the romantic plot that i didnt like. so when that was airing i thought “WELL what if that was someone else” 

she’s still with them though in this timeline and she still has her younger appearance! 

the future timeline is still progressing the same as it did in canon, the androids still wrecked the place and no one was strong enough to do much about it so trunks is still set up with a time machine to meet with the other timeline. goten stays back and does his best to protect everyone while hes gone just in case

some stuff happens in between here but skip ahead to trunks coming back from the trip after the cell games i guess! lots of stuff happened obviously like trunks literally dying, spending years in the time chamber with his dad, meeting a whole gaggle of clowns that he’d only heard stories about, seeing gohan as a preteen. hes got a lot of stuff to share!!! now hes back and he can take care of the androids + cell + and goten can catch up and lifes pretty good over there! 😇

during the rebuilding period goten would spend a lot of time with chi-chi and ox-king and still slept over there occasionally which she really appreciated, and he invited trunks and bulma over there with him frequently.

despite this he wasnt present when she died as no one really expected goku black to wipe out the landscape so far from the city, but she and ox-king died along with more than half of the population. (ugh god im so sorry queen i love you😓)

as i said before mai is still here and she’s still the leader of the resistance!

events of future bulmas death is the same as well as mai originally intending to go with trunks when they meet up together in an abandoned building. goten is already there as the three of them rest up a bit and start making their way to capsule corp. goten was planning on staying behind anyways but he wanted to see the two of them off. when goku black interrupts them as they arrive, trunks and goten encourage mai to escape, seeing as she only has a gun and everyone already knows bullets arent gonna work. 

this scene is the same as it was in canon, where trunks tries to rush black but gets beaten quickly. mai trying to buy him time to let him escape is replaced with goten actually fighting him and taking a hit for trunks but getting knocked out as mai did. trunks under extreme stress from already losing his mom today assumes hes dead instantly, (he has dumb bitch disease, he didnt even check for a pulse in canon!🤔) and fires a masenko to escape into capsule on his own 

after trunks pops back in time and black is focused on searching for him, mai sneaks back in to retrieve goten (even though they told her to leave she really just ducked behind some rubble and stayed close, because she wasnt just gonna leave them!)

she takes him back to an underground bunker with other members of earths resistance and when he wakes up she tells him that trunks made it to the time machine and that hes presumably in the other timeline now. 

idk if yall remember it well but i rewatched some of the episodes just for this, and trunks in the main timeline believing goten was killed and mai is alone and he wont be able to get back is so sad. and when he spent that day with gohan and his family and cried thinking about how if black hadn’t have shown up, he couldve had a family too… he doesnt deserve to be this sad 😥

skip to when he’s finally able to get back home with goku and vegeta with him and they make their way to the bunker where he sees mai and goten together! the scene in canon where he rushes over and starts spilling his heart out is the same, with him telling goten he thought he died

they get a really sweet hug moment here when theyre both happy to see the other is still safe and it gives both goku and vegeta some Food For Thought, because goku actually didnt know there was a goten in this timeline, and he doesnt really recognize him at first. vegeta has the idea in his head that this is probably goten.

goten never really had any sort of real attachment to his dad. it makes sense hes never met him, hes only ever really heard about him through others, (his mom, his brother, trunks, and probably bulma has mentioned him as well) so he definitely knows OF him its just that, he doesnt know him. so when he sees the real goku standing there for once a lot of thoughts run though his mind, like, “that looks A LOT like goku black!” “thats definitely my old hairstyle” and “holy shit is that my dad?” but the first thing he actually says out loud is “Holy shit its goku orange” and vegeta really almost loses it because cause any doubt in his mind about this kid being related to kakarot just went right out the window cause only someone related to him would say that

and as you probably know a lot happens after that with them all finding a way to defeat zamasu but i dont want to include all of the rest when you can probably just interpret which scenes were changed  

ANYWAYS now instead of trunks surviving the apocalypse its trunks and goten surviving the apocalypse. thats why its not a really super romantic deal like Who has time for dates when goku black Might possibly be hiding in this abandoned olive garden?? so theyre just very close and privately affectionate

the ending where trunks and mai get to live in a new world with their counterparts is the same except gotens there with them of course, dbs left their ending pretty open 

so that takes care of the story changes, heres some additional details and information on gotens character in this au! 

heres his design, drawn by my girlfriend @ssj2 uwu !! 

he kept his natural hairstyle for a while, but i think he changed it sometime during the rebuilding period after the androids and just let it grow out a bunch. up until then he kept his natural style purely to honor the guy he’s heard so fondly of even if it brought him a lot of mixed feelings when people said he looks just like him. a really distinct feature about his new hairstyle is that the spikes look like horns and i love that a lot !!

and the shawl he wears was the same one chi chi wore 

some personality traits for future goten is that he has a habit of bottling up his negative emotions and has trouble taking care of himself, as hes always more focused on the well being of his loved ones. he can be mischievous and cocky but hes not overconfident (or he hasnt been since gohans death) however in some situations he can be charismatic and assertive which works really well imowhen their timeline is erased and theyre temporarily in the main timeline, goten gets to meet a bunch of people like gohan and his family, chi chi, and even his counterpart 

sorry if this post was messy i wasnt really sure how i wanted to make it look and im kinda bad at dumping information out so if any of its confusing just redirect me to it and ill try again gdjfksjdgsfk 😭❤

hmmm anyways thank u for reading!! its an au we made years ago and we love a lot and i hope u do too! be nice pls!! and send asks about it if you’d like cause its fun to think about! 

[la-knight]

BOOKS I (RE)READ IN 2018: FURTHERMORE BY TAHEREH MAFI

"Alice Alexis Queensmeadow, 12, rates three things most important: Mother, who wouldn’t miss her; magic and color, which seem to elude her; and Father, who always loved her. Father disappeared from Ferenwood with only a ruler, almost three years ago. But she will have to travel through the mythical, dangerous land of Furthermore, where down can be up, paper is alive, and left can be both right and very, very wrong. Her only companion is Oliver whose own magic is based in lies and deceit. Alice must first find herself—and hold fast to the magic of love in the face of loss." "Red was ruby, green was fluorescent, yellow was simply incandescent. Color was life. Color was everything. Color, you see, was the universal sign of magic." "Love, it turned out, could both hurt and heal." "Narrow-mindedness will only get you as far as Nowhere, and once you're there, you're lost forever.” "Alice was an odd girl, even for Ferenwood, where the sun occasionally rained and the colors were brighter than usual and magic was as common as a frowning parent." "Making magic is far more interesting than making sense." So I actually read this book a few months ago and then recently reread it via audio so I could remember all the details for this review. I was first introduced to Tahereh Mafi’s work through her book Shatter Me, her debut novel. Ironically, it wasn’t through any of the ways I normally hear about books - Booktube, Goodreads, my best friend, Booklr - but from my husband’s aunt. She runs - or used to run, not sure if she’s still doing it - a book review blog. And she posted a review of Shatter Me and I was like, “What a weird, interesting writing style, lemme check this out.” At this point the entire Shatter Me Trilogy plus novellas had been published and I devoured all of them (still need to review those, too). So when I heard Tahereh Mafi was writing a middle grade book, I got super excited! Especially because this was during a time when I was too stressed out to read any YA, since most of the YA I like involves having to save the world and all the stress that entails. I need to lay out some trigger warnings real quick: the main character, Alice? Her mom is incredibly abusive, both emotionally and physically. It’s treated as not such a big deal in the book, which is honestly the story’s only real flaw, but it’s bad. It took me seven tries and resorting to an audiobook (and even with a fantastic narrator, that short audiobook took me almost a month to get through) because the abuse was so bad. So:

TRIGGER WARNING: THIS BOOK CONTAINS EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE OF A CHILD BY THEIR PARENT

Let’s get started, yo! First of all, the setting. OMG. See, I love tthis thing called Victorian fairy tales, which is something you can find in books like Mary Poppins - these super fantastical bits of whimsy that just warm your heart and make you grin because they’re so creative and fun. In the Mary Poppins books, you can jump into chalk drawings and go to a circus amidst the stars and make friends with a woman who sells living candy-cane horses. In Catherynne Valente’s Fairyland series, there are shadow balls and talking phonographs. And in Furthermore, there’s light raining down from the sky in literal drops, sticks of magic you use like money, and forests full of invisible berries. The way the world is put together and described, so full of color and imagination, is awesome and beautiful and I could picture it perfectly. It reminded me in all the best ways of books like The Phantom Tollbooth (one of my favorites). But I wouldn’t want to live there, because Ferenwood is full of colorism and ick. Alice, the female lead, is an albino in a world where color is important and the darker you are, the more magical you’re considered to be. So Alice gets treated like garbage. 

Also I think Alice may be autistic, but I don’t know if she’s deliberately coded autistic or if Tahereh Mafi did it by accident while trying to make Alice eccentric, but she comes across as autistic. I’ve actually begun to pay more attention to that sort of the thing in recent years, being autistic myself, and I see it a lot - authors giving their characters autistic characteristics, often without meaning to. I just touch on it here because Alice is already treated badly for being albino, but she’s also considered a freak because of the way she behaves - like an autistic preteen. And I wonder if Tahereh Mafi did that on purpose as a sort of commentary or not, because while Alice is treated badly by the people of Ferenwood for her behavior, the Narrator (who is an actual character in the story; love when that happens) always sides with Alice in this regard. The storyline is sweet and I love it. Alice tries to compete in the magical testing all the preteens do on their twelfth birthday, and so she dances. And her dancing is magical but it’s not Magical, you know? So she fails the test. Well, turns out a boy who passed the test the year before, Oliver (the brat), needs Alice’s help fulfilling a quest - rescuing Alice’s missing dad. So they go on a quest together, although Alice hates Oliver (and rightly so, he’s rude). They go to a dozen different and cool places, all of which are dangerous and all of which are different. I wish we could’ve spent more time in those places but I understand why we didn’t. The only annoying thing is there’s an origami fox on the cover but it only pops up in one of the worlds for like two pages and then it’s gone and I thought we could spend more time both in that world and with that creature since it ended up on the cover. But alas, not. I understand why - middle grade is often cursed to be short, especially if it’s the author’s first MG novel ever. Once you get big and bad like Rick Riordan you can start tossing out gihugic tomes like Son of Neptune or Blood of Olympus on the regular. Oliver’s reason for needing Alice was one I didn’t see coming, nor was her magical talent - a talent they hint at throughout the book but never explain until near the end, at the perfect moment. I thought it was an interesting commentary on how young girls perceive themselves, that Alice hates this marvelous, amazing talent she has of bringing color into the world from nothing...because she can’t use it to change how she looks. Society has trained her already, by the age of twelve, to discount something incredible about herself because she can’t use it to make herself into what society wants her to be. That’s pretty impressive for a book this short. I loved some of the more deliberate messages in the work - the thing I mentioned about society’s pressures on young girls, and also that it’s okay to tell boys to screw off if they’re mean to you, and to have hope and to look for second chances (Alice thinks she only has one chance to pass the test and believes her life is over when she fails, only to find out she can try again the next year). I love all of that, and the lyrical and whimsical quality of the prose, and the world building is so creative and also makes me a bit hungry (people eat magic in this book, among other things; I wonder what it tastes like). Now...let’s talk about the abuse. That’s my biggest issue with the book. Alice’s mother is a total bitch. And not in a cool, kickass way like the lady in the show Empire. She’s vicious, she’s cruel, and she’s abusive. Alice knows - and the Narrator confirms - that she turned bad when her husband went missing, and apparently the worry for him and the strain of raising four kids on her own is making her hard and sad, but I don’t give a shit. I was hoping Tahereh Mafi would’ve gone all Hansel and Gretel on this lady and when Alice comes home with her dad, the wife’s dead or something. She beats Alice (at one point she beat Alice for chasing a boy out of the place where she was sleeping, even though he kept staring at her in her sleeping clothes, because apparently the boy - Oliver - had the right to break into their barn at 3AM and ogle Alice???), she verbally abuses Alice, she sends her to bed regularly without dinner, is constantly criticizing, won’t hug her or kiss her, and - this one really got me, for some reason - forces her to do illegal things. Those invisible berries I mentioned? Alice can find them and bring back whole baskets because of her magical gift, and so her mom sends her out to pick them all the time. If she brings home enough, her mom smiles. If she doesn’t, her mom yells and calls her names and sometimes beats her. Guess what? Picking those berries is illegal. We don’t find this out until much later in the book, but it is. The thing I didn’t like about the berries is that Oliver, who’s thirteen, is less concerned about Alice’s mother beating her for not picking enough contraband berries and instead focuses on how her ability to find the berries in the first place means Alice has really impressive magic. NOBODY seems to care how much Alice is being abused, not even the Narrator. The Narrator sympathizes with Alice’s hurt feelings and despair over her missing Father, but it’s never objectively stated that her mom is abusing her AND SHE IS. Yeah, her mom is sooo glad to have her back after Alice almost dies on her trip with Oliver, but so what? My roommate’s mom is so abusive that my roommate’s clergy leaders, doctors, and psychological therapist all said my roommate needed to cut ties with said mom, even though my roommate’s mom has also exhibited the same kind of “oh baby I’m so sorry, I love you so much” bullshit. That’s what abusers do. So I hate Alice’s mom. She literally makes her daughter feel like if she doesn’t risk her life numerous times AND bring her father back, there is no chance her mother will ever love her. And if she pulls that stuff off (which she does), then MAYBE her mother will love her. Nuh-uh. Nope. Hate that bitch. Other than that, I really loved this book. The characters felt real (Alice is me, but without my anger), Even the ones I didn’t like were still REAL, and well-drawn. The world building and word choice is fantastic. Basically, if you can get past the evil mom, read this book. World Building: 1 star Realism: 1 star Word Choice: 1 star Plot: 1 star Characterization: 1 star - ¼ star because Oliver Newbanks is an obnoxious little creep - 1 star because the mom is AN ABUSIVE EVIL BITCH - ¼ star because NOBODY DOES ANYTHING ABOUT THAT +½ star because Alice is amazing and has a genius brain and I love her Total score: 4/5 stars Would I Buy It: Yes! I own it and loved it enough I got the sequel for Christmas (in...2017...I've been sitting on this review for months...)! Would I Recommend: yes, but with trigger warnings. Again, highly abusive evil bitch mom who somehow doesn’t die.

[comicteaparty]

October 4th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on October 4th, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PDT.  The chat focused on Finding Home by Hari.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Finding Home by Hari~! (https://tapas.io/series/FindingHome)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

keii4ii

I don't know if this counts as a "scene," but I really liked seeing the flowers bloom on Chepi from his emotions.

Superjustinbros

Aww~

Also hello there!

RebelVampire

yeah i thought that was a really interesting and unique detail. but also felt kind of sorry for chepi cause i mean, thats a dead give away youre feeling an emotion. cannot hide anything. cannot be a tsundere that says its not like i like you or anything

hi SJ~!

Superjustinbros

Thanks for the welcome, Rebel~

keii4ii

I wonder if it's possible to lie with the flowers, like how some people are able to fake tears/ blushing/ etc when they're an exceptionally good actor/liar? Probably not the case with Chepi, though

Superjustinbros

Maybe, or each mood gets represented by different kinds of flowers

RebelVampire

yeah i dont forsee chepi being the best liar persay. but maybe. and tbf have we seen any other dryad do it? this may be a unique feature of chepi because chepi has a unique situation

Superjustinbros

Maybe

RebelVampire

my favorite scene is the one where chepi speads to a bug and janek is like what. but chepi doesnt register that its not the language thing but the fact hes talking to a bug.

i also like in that scene how real the convo was. where janek sounds unintentionally ignorant and kind of racist, but not out of malicious intent. just out of the fact janek never really thought about it before.

keii4ii

Yeah, there's been quite a few examples of non-malicious ignorance

as well as other kinds of misunderstandings

I'm really curious about how they met. This seems to be a relatively new relationship, as in they weren't like... longtime friends or anything, so the beginning of it may still have a lot of relevance

mathtans

Made it. That was a real interesting way to get across some of the language stuff for the universe too, I thought.

RebelVampire

yeah ive been wondering that myself. how the two even met up in the first place. although it seems like they had some form of acquaintanceship

mathtans

A lot of their conversations are pretty realistic.

Seems like they just met because the chef was trying to get home?

RebelVampire

yeah it could be as simple as they were in the same town. chepi was like "i like helping ppl i will help this person"

cause chepi is a good dude

who does good dude things

except for the part where he jeapordizes his own health

thats a bad dude thing

mathtans

Yeah, he's had a rough go of it.

keii4ii

There's probably a little more to that, or at least that's the impression I get

I mean, it seemed like he wanted Janek's company for personal reasons too, even if they weren't Compelling Super Important Goals

Superjustinbros

Christ, definitely not a good thing

The jeopardizing your health part

mathtans

One of the scenes I particularly liked was early on. Where the one guy was "filling the silence" by talking a lot. It was an interesting visual in how it was laid out, and I've been on both sides of that... wanting to fill what I feel is an awkward silence as well as just wanting to enjoy stillness.

There might be a little more to it, but I'm not certain either of them are keen to acknowledge it.

keii4ii

Weird. I started reading this comic when it was still pretty new, and this scene I remember reading isn't there anymore. O_o

I wonder if it was deleted because of not fitting with the creator's vision anymore, because the impression I got from that scene was rather different

RebelVampire

that could be. i think a print volume was kickstartered and that is generally the time when heavy editing occurs

mathtans

Oh? You mean the flower blooming one? Because I remember seeing that...

I also looked at the holiday bonus that was linked away, incidentally. The mistletoe one. That was amusing and touching.

RebelVampire

i also liked that scene too, math. the one with the silence filling. but more than that i really appreciate the understanding that happened between the two. in that chepi didnt mind janek was busy rambling on and on and on. cause i understood how janek felt in feeling awkward about filling the silence too

keii4ii

No, I remember this scene where one of them is talking to some soldiers?

mathtans

Rebel: Right, that aspect of it helped it to stand out for me, I think. One of those times they had an understanding, almost unspoken.

keii4ii

(I could be remembering it wrong )

mathtans

In a flashback, I guess...?

RebelVampire

yeah i dont remember any scene with soldiers. it couldve been an extra of some sort? cause i generally dont look at extras

keii4ii

Yeah, it's not there. I might be mixing things up, unless the comic was rebooted at some point

RebelVampire

thats okay. i like to think its opportunity to speculate

cause there probably is something more

cause despite saying it, even i find it more believable there was something else going on besides chepi is a good dude

QUESTION 2. Throughout the comic, Chepi is shown to be a somewhat anxious person due to past experiences. How do you think Chepi came to be born in the first place? Do you think it has anything to do with why Chepi was encouraged to not like humans? What do you think happened exactly between Chepi and Ishaan that made the relationship have such a traumatic impact on Chepi? Do you think it was a bad relationship from the start, or do you think there were genuine, mutual feelings at the beginning? Do you think the person helping Chepi to publish his works is really altruistic, or is said person just out for their own gain? Lastly, do you think Chepi will be able to overcome all his trauma (and will Janek help or hurt these personal issues)?

keii4ii

TBH I've seen zero reasons to trust that dude

mathtans

Which one?

Superjustinbros

The publisher?

RebelVampire

idk how i feel about ishaan. i wanna give ishaan the benefit of the doubt at least for the beginning of the relationship. but even when ishaan was being all impressed by chepi i got sleezy impressions.

mathtans

As far as Chepi being born... fun fact, in the prologue, at first I thought maybe we were seeing Chepi's father. And, like, he was born of two guys or something, like that's the only way to get a mixed race type.

RebelVampire

LOL. well i mean, not impossible. we are dealing with fae and such.

mathtans

Ishaan's that smoking guy in the flashbacks...? (I'm so bad with names.) I figure there had to be something initially other than "here's an easy mark". But it morphed into something else. Also, profound effect due to his first romantic rejection, that's gotta hurt more than being rejected from the university (and even being shunned in the library).

RebelVampire

yes smoking guy who chepi dated is ishaan

i wanna say that maybe ishaan didnt start with bad intentions. but i also think he might have been attracted to chepi for the novelty of it. cause then he could brag to all his friends about his cool significant other

granted not sure if that logic matches up with the fact ishaan wanted chepi to look more human

so it could be the exact opposite in that ishaan genuinely liked chepi but did not like chepi was half dryad. and ishaan dealt with that in the most toxic way possible

mathtans

Except I don't think he could brag either, as his friends would say he was hanging around with a weirdo freak.

That last theory possibly works.

keii4ii

I get the impression that even if he was genuinely attracted to Chepi, he was always the type of a guy who manipulates and gaslights people whenever given the opportunity

mathtans

keii: There is that. Guy should just get his own oranges.

RebelVampire

i get the impression that ishaan is used to just getting what he wants and is some spoiled rich guy or something. so yeah, manipulation and gaslighting very probable

although i also dont trust the person chepi is using as a cover to publish his papers

that person rubs be the wrong way

cause the convo just seemed really manipulative

mathtans

That's kind of funny though, because Chepi is also a rich guy who prefers to do his own thing. Maybe that's partly why they ended up together.

I'm okay with her (I think it was a her). True that they might be getting more out of the arrangement, but I think it comes from a good place. Also, Chepi has access to the basement books, which seems like a decent thing to do.

Also, I want a backpack like that. O.o

RebelVampire

yeah at the end they havent done anything evil yet. so i could be be overly suspicious. but chepi sure is getting the short end of the stick and it makes me sad and hurts my poor heart

mathtans

He does, yeah. I think he's kind of closed himself off in order to deal with it.

Superjustinbros

That seems reasonable

RebelVampire

i do think chepi is gonna learn to deal with his trauma better. cause i mean hes already taking those critical first steps of talking about the problem a bit. not all the way, but hes said more than he probably would have previously

keii4ii

Yes

mathtans

I wonder if he'll manage to deal with his crowds situation too. (I know that feeling, though not to the extent of being triggered or anything.)

RebelVampire

the crowds one may take more time ironically imo. just because the issue behind that is harder to fix. since even if chepi was like "lets go cold turkey into a crowd," it is more likely his fears will get reaffirmed

Superjustinbros

Perhaps.

Seems like a fear that’s hard to remove anyways

mathtans

Yes, though he's got the travelling companion now, so small steps.

RebelVampire

yeah although that may forever be his comfort level. and i dont blame him for that cause he may just be an introvert who prefers setups like that. cause even with the dryads he seemed very much a soloist

mathtans

True.

Superjustinbros

Same.

mathtans

Also means less making demands on him.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. Janek and Chepi grow ever closer throughout their journey, though some issues seem to get between the two. Do you think the relationship between the two will ever become something more, or will trauma and other issues continue to get in the way? Even if they do become romantically involved, do you think it would work out? What about when the two reach Erkesh? Will their relationship last (whether romantically or as friends) even then? Or, will Chepi simply move on to his next destination? For that matter, do you think the two will even make it to Erkesh? Additionally, given the title of the comic is “Finding Home,” what do you think that means for each character and their personal journeys? In other words, what is “home?”

Superjustinbros

There's people that struggle lots with groups

mathtans

(Ones he'd be inclined to help with.)

I feel like they're building towards a relationship, a healing one, so I'd be a bit surprised if that doesn't happen. There'll still be bumps along the way though, for sure.

Like, they keep finding out things about each other that alter their perceptions.

Superjustinbros

Yea

mathtans

Also, home is where the heart is?

RebelVampire

part of me would be surprised if they dont cross that threshold from friends to something more. cause they keep bonding and the chemistry is super strong. but on the otherhand, this comic feels a lot like a journey wherein i feel the destination is gonna throw me a bit. so i could also see them not being able to. or ya know, there being a dramatic fakeout where chepi leaves janek in erkesh but then comes back being like "what was i thinking"

keii4ii

I feel that it's not about forming a relationship (though that's a strong possibility). It's about finding "home" and if both of them grow and reach a point where they simply become more comfortable with the self, separately, I can see them going separate ways too...

mathtans

I suppose that could happen (the fakeout), but really rooting for Chepi to have a happy ending. Versus, saying, dying in Janek's arms while saying "I'm finally happy".

keii4ii

omg

mathtans

I can see them going separate ways, but somehow not before being intimate. Could be the shipper in me.

RebelVampire

well tbf the comic is genred romance so...

mathtans

Chepi might totally sacrifice himself to deal Janek though.

RebelVampire

theres kind of high expectations here for some romance

mathtans

(Speaking of, I like his dry sense of humour... "come down from there, it would be a pain to heal every bone in your body" or words to that effect.)

RebelVampire

im gonna hope this comic doesnt go chepi death route. mostly cause despite its serious issues, its a pretty light-hearted comic.

keii4ii

It's got very gentle, soft vibes

Superjustinbros

Ye

Not every comic needs death

mathtans

I don't know if I'd say light-hearted? It has chuckle moments to be sure.

My opinion, anyway. Yes, vibes.

RebelVampire

imo the sense of home in this comic's case is a place where you feel comfortable and can be yourself. and if that place happens to be wherever another person is, well then...

yeah light-hearted might not be the right word but on 3 hours of sleep its the word i got O_O

mathtans

Home is where the wisps aren't.

I feel you, I only got about 4 hours sleep.

RebelVampire

i will also accept that answer. home is where the wisps arent

cause those wisps are creepy

now if there is tragedy in this comic, the thing i could see happening is they get to erkesh....but erkesh isnt there anymore

and janek has nowhere to go

home is gone

very sad

ah i forgot to say i do like chepi's dry sense of humor. partly cause i like that he has a sense of humor despite seeming so serious all the time

Superjustinbros

r.i.p. home

mathtans

Ooooh. I could see that too, that the wisps have destroyed the old home. That might be bittersweet.

His sense of humour sometimes flies a bit under the radar for me. Like, when he talked about studying since he was a baby I was like, 'dryads do that?' then I realized I was a species-ist.

RebelVampire

yeah i have to agree that sometimes it takes a moment for chepi's jokes to register as jokes. but then i have a good laugh.

mathtans

Because there's times when he's not, like when he's just going for a swim and all.

The hair discussion was pretty interesting though. It's funny, in a way growing the hair out long seemed like an emotional, human thing to do, and the guy had been trying to get Chepi to be more human.

RebelVampire

yeah i liked this little act of rebellion for chepi. cause i mean it feels really realistic too. because lots of ppl getting out of bad relationships do trivial things like this, even though for them the emotional impact is significant

i really liked the swimming scene in general though

cause i think something about it really illustrated the individual diffs between janek and chepi

and how both their selves and upbringings brought about different attitudes

QUESTION 4. Though not the focus, the comic’s world has a lot of interesting aspects that affect the characters. Do you think things will improve for Fae within the world, or will Chepi always suffer from negative policies and views from both sides? Do you think spending time with Janek will give Chepi new insight into how he can better help people? Alternatively, will spending time with Janek show Chepi a way to convince more Fae to help mortals? Speaking of the supernatural, do you think the Wisps will continue to be a danger to Janek and Chepi? Do you think the amount of Wisps about is normal, or do you feel it’s foreshadowing something sinister is about? Finally, Chepi at one point mentions a magical surge that has been growing. How might this affect the world in general, and do you think Chepi will be the one to figure out what’s going on?

mathtans

Yeah, definitely from two different worlds.

Oh yeah, the magical surge... maybe that does explain the wisps too? And if that map he found is really old, maybe it's all happened before, like decades ago, and it stopped surging after the Imperials lost or something.

Superjustinbros

I'd say maybe a mixture of both? Things will improve, but our protagonists will slowly encounter new problems.(edited)

RebelVampire

true, the world is rarely ever perma fixed.

the magical surge really has me interested because something about it was so ominous

mostly the abandoned house

and cause it made me suspicious that besides the destroyed village they really havent come across any form of civilization

or other ppl

what if theyre in some time paradox in the future and the world is destroyed

mathtans

So it becomes about fleeing to another realm, which was foreshadowed in that talk about whether Chepi even could.(edited)

RebelVampire

i dont remember this convo but im gonna gasp anyway

Superjustinbros

Paradoxes why must you exist

RebelVampire

idk. it just felt like something suspicious was going on. and i do feel the wisp situation has an abnormal quality to it. at the very least i dont think they go around village destroying on the regular

mathtans

He said they were old too, right? Could be relevant... Chopi's mom was over 200 or something...

It's interesting how we're gradually learning more about the world, including the urban centres, while we're pretty far removed from them. Incidentally, I think Janek would be dead a few times over if not for his friend, what with wisps and poison mushrooms and no map.

RebelVampire

yeah. like i wonder what janek intended to do if chepi hadnt offered to guide the way. would janek just be stuck at wherever theyre traveling from?

but yeah i really like how the world is being told in the story

because its never in a way thats separate from teh characters

if its being told, its somehow relavent to how the world has effected them

mathtans

Maybe he'd have to have taken public transit.

Yeah, it's all connected. But the characters have their own families and backstories thought out, like Janek's sister.

RebelVampire

LOL chepi and janek take forest route, but then the whole time theres like an express train system that couldve had janek to erkesh in an hour

that would be hilarious

very unfitting

but hilarious

Superjustinbros

lol

mathtans

"We built it a couple days after you left."

RebelVampire

back to the question, i dont think anything chepi or janek will do will actually improve relationships between humans and fae. because theyre just kind of two people...wandering a forest. so for the moment they cant make that big a world impact.

unless theyre the last two ppl in the world

mathtans

There were imperial forces and everything though, I wonder what sort of technology level their warfare was.

RebelVampire

then relations improved

mathtans

Yeah, prejudice like that is pretty deep seated. Can only change individuals on the travels, I think.

Unless the magic surge helps others to feel the emotions Chepi has.

Like, "oh crud, that's what we've driven you to?"

RebelVampire

yeah. cause at the end magical surge is pretty vague. although imo a magical surge could be detrimental to humans and actually shrink their territory. because the magical surge could be why the wisps be destroying villages

mathtans

Shrink their "territory".

Magical surge is like cold water.

RebelVampire

oh dear

since there are only some moments, i want to take this chance to talk about the illustrations. because its a sad thing they havent been mentioned because the illustrations are really gorgeous. like nature is a hard thing to draw, but here this comic just puts it everywhere O_O

Superjustinbros

Can I have some of that surge? It's super warm here lol(edited)

RebelVampire

everywhere

mathtans

Yes, that's a great point. One of those things that would stand out if it was done wrong, the comic gets it very right.

Also, that whole thing with the flowers connecting to moods, that's kind of amazing. I didn't know that was a thing.

Superjustinbros

I'd love to see more of that

RebelVampire

yeah. like the flora in general is used in a very interesting way in the comic. because usually whats shown helps emphasis the tone and atmosphere of the scenes.

and honestly i give points to any comic that doesnt shy from the backgrounds

mathtans

That's a good point. I'm not great at noticing those sorts of details.

Superjustinbros

^

mathtans

The output's been pretty consistent for that too... like, 100 pages in less than two years?

I couldn't manage that.

Superjustinbros

Anyways, good luck with the comic, Hari, you're putting together something really magical here.(edited)

RebelVampireToday at 6:59 PM

yeah. although even if the pages took longer i wouldnt mind it. the backgrounds are honestly worth it because i feel theyre integral to showcasing the world at this point

mathtans

Yup, best with it!

Also the romance.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Hari, as well, for making Finding Home. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Hari’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://tapas.io/series/FindingHome

Hari’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/haridraws

Hari’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/haridraws

Comic Tea Party- Thursday Book Club

Next week’s Thursday Book Club will be about Four Corners by Boniae. For participants, you have the next week to read as much of the comic as you would like~! We hope to see you on Thursday, October 11th, from 5PM to 7PM PDT for the chat in #thursday_bookclub!

Comic’s Main Site: http://fourcorners.smackjeeves.com/

Comic’s Tapas Mirror: https://tapas.io/series/four-corners

Comic’s LINE Webtoon Mirror: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/four-corners/list?title_no=28768

[ohoshi]

yess the part where johnny bumped into taeyong was cool!! ty looks so cool while performing gosh 😌 i think ive watched that nct u class performance so many times by now, im still not over it for some reason hahaha

OMG I KNOW XIAOJUN BEING RELEVANT!! YES!! honestly im so glad that during nct 2020 a lot of the wayv members got to show their skills and how theyve improved (like xiaojun, hendery, yangyang) and i hope this keeps going (i feel like winwin esp couldve been showcased more? maybe it's hard with soo many members and i dont wanna be *that* fan...but he was the leader of the 90s love unit and had like 2 lines lol)

omg yes shotaro!! you never couldve known he debuted just 2 MONTHS AGO but i agree even in maw u can tell that the boy got moves! i feel so proud of him and hes so cute 😊 i agree, sign me up too for the idols who have such duality!! they were all so good (as expected)!!

WAIT LMAO SO SORRY i just fact checked myself and haikyuu actually has 4 seasons 😂 😅 there was like a 4 year gap between s3 and s4 so i think i felt like it was 2 seasons lmaoo. lately i have been more okay watching ongoing shows bc it gives me something to look forward to every week! but i usually do binge shows, which is why im a little sad that the uncanny counter is ongoing so i am forced to wait 😭 i must say though my binging skills are amazing...my one talent in life 🤣

her private life is another fake relationship kdrama (the main girl character is a fangirl and she runs a blog for her bias ahaha relatable??), and i think crash landing on you has some fake relationship things?? obviously it's not the main focus of the drama but crash landing is iconic u gotta watch, be prepared to cry tho if you get emotional watching these things like me 😭 because this is my first life was also good (i've heard some ppl get frustrated by the main guy character's lack of emotion though but i liked the writing and it's worth giving it a shot if you want!) i love the fake relationship and the enemies to lovers tropes, so if you come across any that are good pls let me know hehe

SVT yes that part in home where they choreographed like a house imagery with their hands was so cool!! the choreo is just so detailed (like i think there was a part that looked like they were opening a door bc it's "home"), i had heard svt is self produced and thats so amazing! theyre so talented and their performances are so good (the ones i've seen so far). i watched their mafia dance video for left and right and it was so FUNNY HAHAHAA they seem so chaotic i love it (also i love the mafia dances in general lol like nct dream did it for we go up). i'm going to try to learn svt's names (which i usually do by just watching crack videos about the group on youtube lmao) so stay tuned 👀 coming from nct, 13 members doesnt even seem like a lot to me anymore hahaha and i think im usually good with names so we'll see! i am also curious to see if i end up stanning dino :)) who are your svt biases??

haha yes i can understand xj/hn/lc without subtitles!! it's interesting because i think all 3 of them are from different places so their canto actually sounds a bit different from each other! but when i hear wayv speaking canto it feels so familiar bc i really only speak cantonese with my family, and it's such a weird but also good feeling and it makes me feel warm :) wayv is the unit that feels like ur close friends (whereas dreamies have best chemistry and i think i like 127’s music most? (but ofc i do actually like all the units songs hahah))

🥺yeah me too! i’m glad wayv members became more relevant thanks to nct 2020! honestly they are soooo good and they deserve all the attention! and winwin 💔 honestly i’m so happy he is in wayv now where he is being appreciated more! where he gets the lines and screentime! he deserves it 😤 of course you’re gonna be *that* fan! we’re all *that* fan 😤 the leader of the unit got 2 lines 😤 smh 😤

omg 4 year gap???? that’s a lot 😳 what for?? i guess the 4 year gap is the reason the show is still airing after all these years lmao when i saw gifs on my dash my reaction was wtf when did haikyuu become one piece what have i missed and then i googled and saw that the anime has 80+ episodes????? ABOUT VOLLEYBALL???? 😳 WILD

ohhh i see you have something to look forward to hmm that makes sense? maybe i should try it, especially since it’s most likely not as consuming as binge watching!! but yeah same, binge watching tv shows is one of my talents 😏

her private life is about a girl who runs a blog about her bias? there’s a whole kdrama about me? are you kidding me rn? never knew someone would be inspired by me or us for that matter? since we’re both just two little human beings running a blog about their biases<3 OMGGGG when am i gonna get the time to watch all of these drama 😭 hopefully really soon, but knowing how busy my college life can be (and esp rn) probs not 🤕 if i ever come across any drama that you haven’t watched already i will most likely recommend it to you!!!!

AHDGAGHFSDGH i love when idols play mafia game of any kind and i think that svt’s left and right is my favorite mafia dance ajfdshgadfshga they’re so chaotic and funny and omg vernon was so good tho?????? 😳 i was impressed bc i could never lie so well ahgdfags yeah it’s not that hard to remember all 13 of them especially because all of them are so different (i mean all of the members in all of the groups are always so different but ajdsgakja for whatever reason svt to me seemed the most uhhh versatile from the others?? like for example woozi is so smol it’s easy to remember him, and then seungkwan is the loud one, and then mingyu and jeonghan are pretty ones, joshua the charming one, sweet one, my biases are the best<3 etc but i mean THIS COULD BE JUST ME AJDGAJSH maybe i’m just too biased bc i love them so much sigh) anyways,,,,,, there’s a lot of ICONIC SVT CONTENT SO  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ welcome we have cookies, relax and enjoy yourself, the ride to being 500% whipped for svt begins right here, i recommend to you their pot and hammer game bc i love to watch when idols play it and svt? CHAOTIC AS ALWAYS! 

OK MY SVT BIASES 🥺 ok first of all here’s a digression: usually when i get into a kpop group i have like 3 different positions, 1) love at first sight - which is the person who i’m attracted to right from the second?? like the first person i see and i’m like oh //they// kinda like the way you’re attracted to dino’s dancing and stuff; 2) first bias - which is the person i just pick for whatever reason //ok they’re gonna be my bias//; 3) the actual bias - after watching a lot of content and listening to the music and getting to know the group in general i then choose //THE BIAS// or rather the bias chooses me bc it’s out of my control i just love them whoever they are! and with svt 🥺 all of the 3 were one guy (the only other time this happened to me is w nct dream lmao) 🥺 and i love him so much! one and only: xu minghao! (aka the8) 🥰 he’s one of the lead dancers and 1/2 china line in svt and he can sing! he can rap! and boy can he dance 😭 i just 🥺 love him 🥺 my other svt bias (whom, tbh, i don’t love nearly as much as i love minghao but i still love him very much<3) is wen junhui! (aka jun) 🥰 he is the other lead dancer and 2/2 china line in svt (this is random: but i really love china line in kpop??? like idek why? i mean of course i don’t care about their nationality or whatever but i’ve just noticed that for whatever reason the ones i tend to love and bias are more often than not chinese) and i know i know you asked ‘hey cora who are your svt biases??’ and everything i was supposed to say was ‘hey santa it’s the8 and jun!’ but no i had to be EXTRA bc guess what? well I AM EXTRA!!! bc i got excited i really love them 😭 (esp minghao<3 lately he’s been my ultimate bias so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

OMG I AM SO JEALOUS OF YOU RN? you can understand them without titles? lucky!!!!!! but the fact that it feels familiar and it makes you feel warm<3 is so precious<3 so cute!! so wayv feels like home? 🥺 bc you only speak cantonese with your family? this is so 🥺 i’m not crying you’re crying 🥺 teach me something in cantonese?? like?? actually, first tell me is it too different from mandarin??? and then teach me something? how do i say i love you? or hi and bye lmao and thank you? yk the basics! and i mean of course that we all love all units songs i mean!! we’re here for all the mess those 23 boys give us but!! i think i’d be biased and pick nct dream’s music<3 but i love wayv and 127 so much as well 😭

[lucayaxskies]

i just started doing a rewatch in production order and i feel like truth is one big foreshadow of how the romantic side of the show is supposed to play out (if we ignore the fact that it got cut short at least)

the whole theme of the episode is that the truth will come out, which is something that comes up again and again throughout the series as it pertains to the kids feelings

from the rucas perspective:

riley and lucas dont actually interact a whole lot in this episode. im pretty sure the only time their on screen together is as romeo and juliet. even after the play when they are all walking out in the hall, lucas and riley are still in costume

its pretty safe to say that its important that they chose romeo and juliet as the play, seeing as it didnt really matter what play they did (farkle couldve gone out of character in any play, it didnt need to be romeo and juliet)

romeo and juliet is basically about a doomed couple. its a tragedy, and they both end up dead by the end of the play. so the fact that riley and lucas end up in these roles is verrryy telling if you ask me.

from the riarkle perspective:

the episode really focuses on riley and farkles relationship, it being one of the main plot lines of the episode (along with mayas and corys)

there are two really important details of what goes on between riley and farkle this episode. the first is that farkle steals lucas’s moment. this one is pretty self explanatory (its supposed to be riley and lucas but farkle steals the show, aka he steals riley)

the second is the riarkle kiss. this is a parallel to the corpanga kiss against the lockers, which the writers said themselves was completely intentional.

from the lucaya perspective:

lucas and maya dont ever interact in this episode, BUT there are a couple of details with mayas wardrobe that could be significant as related to things we see later on in the series.

maya wears a yellow tee thats days ‘brooklyn’ along with a pic of a lion (or some other kind of cat). flash wayyyyyyyy forward to ski lodge 1, lucas wears a hoodie (which if im remembering correctly was customized by the costume department) that had the word ‘brooklyn’ on it as well as a pic of some kind of jungle cat (a jaguar i think?) ski lodge is literally all about the triangle so take that as you will.

in the same outfit maya wears a leopard print jacket and zebra print shoes. basically a lot of animal print. flash wayyyy forwards again to high school (i cant remember if it was 1 or 2) there is a moment when maya and riley are in the hole and they watch a girl and a boy kiss. we only get a view of their shoes though. the girl is wearing animal print shoes and the boy is wearing motorcycle boots. you know who else wears boots? hmmmm.....

the last one is the gold locket maya wears. its in the shape of a heart. this isnt a super hugely important detail and im not even 100% that they intended it to relate to lucaya, but later on in new year they talk about sense (your head) and sensibility (your heart) both being needed in a relationship. maya is paralleled in that episode to sensibility, the locket in this episode parallels that. (i could also throw in here that truth and new year tie in together quite a bit, seeing as telling the truth is an important theme in new year too). to tie lucas into all of this we can also consider the wizard of oz parallels that are thrown in, where lucas = scarecrow (i believe its eric who calls him the scarecrow). the scarecrow wants a brain, which completes the whole head and heart.