#EVERYONE FUCKING SAY THANK YOU DAMIAN

[cryptidwrestling]

"A N D N E W-"

[business-as-usual-bats]

Bruce: we will continue to utilize the Batmobile, of course. But we needed an upgrade and we got one. Introducing-

Bruce [pause-for-dramatic-effect Wayne]: the Bat-tank

Dick:

Jason:

Tim:

Steph:

Cass:

Damian:

Duke: fine, I'll say it- that's just an armored minivan

Bruce: what? It's not-

Jason: It has sliding doors

Bruce: for efficiency and convenience-

Dick: i think it's neat! But... yeah, not really a tank

Steph: very spacious, yet very compact, very on brand for a mom with 6-9 kids

Bruce: it has all of the features and capabilities of the Batmobile-

Damian: Father, I for one admire your priority, practicality is far more important than being fashionable.

Bruce: i, wha- It very clearly has lasers and it's bullet-proof! How is that unfashionabl- I know my brand!

Tim: aww, enough cup holders for the whole family, very thoughtful, Bruce

Bruce: The Bat-tank WILL strike fear into the enemies of Gotham!

Jason: our enemies will see us speeding at 700mph and assume you're late to your kid's soccer game

Bruce: Okay! Okay, so we needed a family car, but this isn't-

Cass: Recital

Bruce: *gasp* OH, we're going to be late for Cass's dance recital, everyone in the van!

Dick: I thought it was a tank-

Bruce, glaring: Cass gets shotgun since she's the only one who respects the Bat-tank!

Cass: yes... very scary *pats Bruce's arm affectionately*

Bruce: Hurry up, everyone! Duke, the backseats unfold if you press the button underneath-

Duke: yeah I know how minivans work

Bruce: It's not-

Bruce:

Bruce: oh no.

Dick: there's the moment of realization we were waiting for

Bruce, whispering: It IS a minivan.

Tim: can we go to Bat Burger after this?

Damian: Seconded

Jason: yes thank fuck I'm starving

Dick: Language! Here, little D, you can sit by me

Steph: ugh, why do I have to sit in the middle?

Duke: this thing comes with chargers, right, Bruce?

Bruce: I'm... I'm a minivan mom.

Cass, smiling: Our minivan mom

[prlssprfctn]

Jason, who starts gaslighting his family members by saying that All Blades were always a thing and that they just didn't take him seriously, once they found out about it.

Bruce, frustrated: If you yielded a magical sword in the past, I would know, Jaylad.

Jason: Jesus fucking Christ, I told you, I don't use it often, since it uses my soul. But I did mention that I have it!

Dick: You did not!

Jason: I said that Robin gives me magic! I said I *am* magic!

Bruce: That's��

Dick: But—

Bruce and Dick, turning to Damian helplessly: Your verdict?

Damian, who got already paid by Jason (price was two sneaked in rabbits): That's true. Mother said Todd had always had them. He only ever was sent to All Caste because he needed to be taught how to use it correctly. Didn't Dulcra say that you were the chosen one, Todd?

Jason, intentionally irritated: Exactly! Thank you.

The rest of the family: ●○●

Bruce, sitting in the Cave, in the middle of his 300th existential crisis: I— If Jason is the chosen one, was I technically wrong in our argument?

Dick: ...I can't believe that this is what takes you to accept that you were wrong, and not the fact that— Dunno, he is your son— And you kinda failed him—

Tim: On the more important note, should we call Jason Harry Potter now or something?

Stephanie, snickering: Jason... You are a wizard!

Bruce, sniffling: He did like these books as a child. Perhaps it was his way to try to tell us the truth.

Dick: Damn... Once we were arguing, and I told him that he had no magic... How foolish I was.

Jason, pressing phone to the shoulder, while cooking: ...And now they are staring at me, like I am about to do the whole Enchantix transformation, lol

Talia: I admit, that's amusing. Damian did a great job at supporting this circus.

Ra's voice on the background: Enchantix? What is it? Had that boy found ANOTHER magical device plot?!

Talia: ...Do you think I am too old to pull the same move you did on my father?

Jason: Nah, it is never too late to trick your dad. Get his ass.

Talia: You are absolutely correct.

Talia, screaming to Ra's: He did, father. It is related to the constant cycle of being brought back alive.

Jason, turning around to Damian, who is playing with rabbits on his couch: Prepare, little gremlin. You are about to testify falsely again, this time to your grandfather.

Damian, snorting: Two golden fish and one parrot.

Jason: I will warn your mother.

Tim, with Excel Chart open: Okay, so we figured out that he has All Blades, strange version of immortality, quick recovery thanks to Pit... What other magic Jason can have we don't know about it yet?

Cassandra: Cooking?

Stephanie: ...I think he is just a normal person, Cass.

Dick: NO, no, listen, it is one thing to cook normally, another to be trusted by Alfred.

Duke: ...You are reaching, guys. I think he is just a good chief.

Bruce: He always makes me laugh.

Tim: That's not— B, no one laughs, but you, so what kind of magic power is that?!

Duke: Listen, y'all, what if he sees ghosts?

Everyone: (pauses)

Stephanie, hitting Tim on the shoulder: WRITE IT DOWN, WRITE IT DOWN—

Tim: I am putting it in the "unclear" column, but good idea, dude.

Alfred, glancing at all of this sceptically: Dear Lord, this family is not your brightest soldiers...

[massivetittiesandwarcrimes]

I need Dick to be completely delusional about Tim and consider him to be his nicest, most helpful, and most well-behaved sibling.

_____

Tim: I have never done anything wrong, ever, in my life.

Dick: I know this and I love you 🥰

Jason: ...Dick, are you fucking HIGH???

_____

Dick: You should consider trying to be more like Tim! He's always such a well-behaved angel ❤️

Tim: Thank you, Dick 😇

Damian:

________

Dick: Tim is very kind and always so polite! He would never be mean to someone on purpose! ❤️

Bruce, who is bullied by Tim an average of 4.5 times a day:

______

Dick: Tim is an absolute sweetheart!

Cass: ... I do not think that word means what you think it does.

_____

Duke, staring at a warehouse that he and Tim just 'accidentally' blew up: ... So how mad do you think Dick is going to be at us?

Tim: Don't worry, I got this.

Dick, landing next to them: Holy explosion, Red Robin! What happened here?!?

Tim: I don't know 😔. It was like this when we got here 🥺.

Duke, whispering: There is no way he's going to believe tha-

Dick: Oh no! Well, I'm just glad you two are safe!

Duke: ... Tim, I need you to teach me your ways.

Dick: hm? Did you say something, Duke?

________

Dick: I don't get it! Why does everyone think Tim is some kind of crazed feral gremlin?!?

Alfred: I believe that is because they have in fact met Master Tim.

Dick: What was that? 🙃

Alfred: ... 😮‍💨 Truly it is a mystery for the ages.

[anxi04]

ra’s shows up one day in the batcave to “speak with the detective” except he’s ignoring bruce (who is Not offended Thank You Very Much) and everyone is so confused

except tim. who is currently thinking of three escape routes, five ways to die, and how to gaslight everyone. he’s thankfully hidden from ra’s for the moment until he slowly tries leaving and ra’s catches sight of him, his face visibly lighting up. he calls out to tim as “detective” while everyone is trying to figure out when the fuck tim replaced bruce in ra’s eyes

tim’s course of action is kicking ra’s in the nuts and stealing the batmobile. damian has a new appreciation for tim

bruce questions why ra’s is calling tim detective to which ra’s just raises his eyebrow and says “because he’s the better detective? as evidenced by your question.” and then ra’s fucks off to find tim after his dramatic exit. and no he’s not limping (he put in armor in that area after the first time. ignore that he’s very clearly walking slower, tim just has a strong kick)

[timmydraker]

PART 2 OF CLONE BABY

Bruce: You need to tell the rest of the family, but mostly Dick.

Tim: why...?

Bruce, remembering how mad Dick got when he didn't tell him about Jason or literally any other kid: just trust me, it's not worth it

Tim: but I haven't told Kon yet *biggest pouty face ever made*

Bruce: Tim, he's still dead... isn't he?

Tim: I mean... for now.

Bruce:

Tim: FINE. Give her back to me then.

Bruce: ... five more minutes?

*Later:*

Dick: Hey guys, what was so important I had to get here so quick? Is everyone okay? Did someone... y'know?

Bruce: Opposite, actually.

Tim: I had a baby

Dick: you fucking what.

Tim: I had baby.

Tim: lil bubba

Tim: I made it myself :)

Tim, holding up his baby girl: see!

Dick, rapidly going through several emotions at once before letting out such a high pitched squeal that Clark Kent breaks a mug out of shock: A BABY!!!

Tim: a baby!

Bruce: a baby...

Damian, who had come out of his room as soon as he saw that Dick had gotten to the house via his trackers: a baby?

Tim: not for you, go away

Bruce: Tim.

Tim: what? She may have been a scientific miscalculation but she is mine and I will not risk her being stabbed by your miscalculation baby.

Damian: what did you just call me?!

Tim: you heard me!

The baby stirring and whining:

Tim: shhh, it's okay little one. Did Damian's shouting upset you? That's very mean of him, isn't it? It's okay, it's okay

Dick: omg im an uncle

Tim: yes you are!

Dick: and who's the mother?

Tim: 1 am.

Dick: oh... okay, then who's the dad?

Tim, in all seriousness: Kon.

Dick, naturally assuming Kon came back to life like people do all the time: oh, he's back?

Bruce, making a silencing motion:

Tim, trying not to cry: not yet...

Damian: I am confused, why does Drake have a child?

Bruce: he was trying to clone his dead best friend and accidentally mixed his DNA with one of the subjects and made a clone hybrid baby.

Dick: more like dead situationship but okay

Damian: oh, like my brother but an acciden

Bruce: your WHAT?

Tim: yeah! But she's going to grow up like a normal human/kryptonian clone baby and not in like a week.

Damian: very well, I will craft some training weapons for her so she can at least have a chance fitting into this family.

Tim: no the fuck you will not Tim: I mean fudge

Damian: she will also grow up without a father apparently.

Tim: oh like Slade is a better option? And also, so did you???

Damian: beside the point. This baby will be too much like its parents, you are better to let someone else raise her so she won't be a blubbering fool.

Tim: BLUBBERING FOOL?!

Dick: hold on, go back-

Bruce: so l don't have a second blood son?

Damian: and anyway, you can hardly be a n when you practically weren't raised at all, 1 other hand was raised by an exceptional woman-

Damian: and anyway, you can hardly be a mother when you practically weren't raised at all, I on the other hand was raised by an exceptional woman-

Tim: oh HELL no

Tim: first of all, my parents have nothing to do with how I myself will parent! I will be everything in wanted to have and I will not let my baby girl feel unloved for a single second of her life, thank you very much.

Tim: secondly, you're saying that Taliah is a good role model for parenting? When was the last time you spoke to her that didn't involve her using your or Bruce for your granddaddy? Huh?

Damian: ...

Tim: that's what I thought.

Bruce: maybe we should calm-

Tim: and anyway, now that I'm a mother I understand a lot more and I'm not letting you raise my kid because you are a kid, Damian. I know your almost fifteen but that doesn't change the fact that you have Child Developmental Syndrome as well as severe CPTSD and deserve to be carefree and not hold as many responsibilities as some people, *glares at Bruce* seem to think is okay!

Tim: so, no, you can't take my baby but you can be in her life because while I still kind of hate you and think you should suffer for trying to kill me and cutting my line, I can truely see now that you are a baby yourself.

Tim: now, who is going to help me pick out a paint for the nursery l'm making at my apartment?

Damian: ...

Bruce: ...

Dick, who has been slowly inching forward to try hold the baby: ...

Damian, still seething but also a little... honoured?: may I suggest the colour China Rose?

It will go well with the rest of your apartment.

Tim, smiling happily and rocking his baby: good idea!

Tim: Dick, you can hold her while I find Alfred.

Dick: oh thank god, gimme, gimme, gimme, oh hi baby!!! Oh, just look at those chubby wittle cheekies~! Aren't you the most precious wittle thing? Yes you are! You are! Awww!!

Bruce: I forgot to ask, do you have a name?

Tim: oh yeah... that's a thing

Dick and Bruce, integrally: *He is not going to be able to do this alone.*

ーーーーー

QUESTION: what should the baby be called?????

Also wonder how long it will take to end up on

TikTok lol

[chaoticwriting]

Fenton Crime Family

-Wayne Manor, Gotham-

Stephanie: So no one is gonna ask why Cass has been out so much lately? Alone too.

Duke: Didn't she say she is going out to meet a friend?

Stephanie: Yeah, but no one knows where she goes. We don't know who she goes out with nor do we know where she goes.

Tim: Just say that you are jealous that Cass is going out without you. No will make fun of you.

Jason & Duke: That's a lie.

Tim: Yeah, that's a lie. I would totally make fun of you.

Stephanie: Shut up nerd. Don't pretend you are not jealous when Bernard or Conner says that they are hanging out with someone else.

Tim: Woah there. Jason is the nerd one. If you want to insult me, at least use the correct one.

Jason: I want to be mad but you're not wrong.

Damian: Tt, why should we bother who Cain goes out with? It is her choice who she wishes to be her companion.

Stephanie: But aren't you curious even a little bit? Who is the person? Where do they go? Are they friends or something more? There are so many questions and yet so little answer.

Bruce: We should give Cass some room for herself. Letting her form a relationship outside of this household is also good.

Everyone: *Stares at Bruce*

Jason: I think the old man is being mind controlled. Let me punch him to wake him up.

Dick: Are you sick, B? Do you want to go to Dr. Leslie? I can take over your patrol tonight if you are not feeling well.

Damian: I also agree with Todd. Father might be compromised right now. Let's take him down.

Tim: Wait wait. Do you have anything to say before we jump you Bruce?

Bruce: *Grunts* I went to meet the therapist that Jason recommended to me. Dr. Fenton says that I should give my children room to grow independently so that I can take the first step in treating my paranoia.

Jason: *Gasp* You actually went to meet the therapist. Fuck.

Stephanie: He he he, where is my 50 bucks? I told you he would go if you recommend it.

Jason: *Grumble while handing out 50 bucks*

Duke: So that's where you are going. I thought you were going on a date.

Bruce: I am too old for dating anymore.

Dick: Yeah, right. Tell that to me when you go meet Selina later tonight.

Bruce: *Grunts*

Alfred: *Walks in* I am here to inform that Miss Cassandra has returned.

Dick: She's not gonna eat lunch?

Alfred: Miss Cassandra has informed me that she has eaten outside with her friend.

Jason: Did you see who her friend is? Is it a boy or a girl? Please tell me it's a boy.

Alfred: I'm afraid I cannot tell you anything as per my agreement with Miss Cassandra. What I can tell you though is that she is very happy to meet her friend. I suggest all of you don't disturb her happiness.

Stephanie: What? Boooo. I want answers. Timothy I choose you. Go find the answer using your stalker skills.

Tim: I would rather not anger her after what she did last time. All of my coffee mugs are still stuck on the table.

Duke: *Scoffs* You would probably go behind her back to find this friend anyway. You're just saying it in case Cass heard us.

Tim: I shall not confirm nor deny the accusation.

-Upstairs-

Cass lays on her bed after changing her clothes. It's been so long since she saw Danny. If not for the coincidental encounter at the stores, she wouldn't have known that Danny is in Gotham. After the first encounter, they exchanged phone numbers and talks and even met up often. Today is their first official date as a girlfriend/boyfriend.

Cass takes her phone to text Danny that she has reached home safely when she suddenly remembers something. She opens her gallery and puts the photos of her and Danny in a secure secret folder so that no one can find it.

While doing that, a text comes through.

Danny 💕💓💕

Danny: Hey Cass, are you home yet?

Cass: Yes. I just got home.

Danny: Thanks for the date today

Cass: 💖💖

Cass: Are you home yet?

Danny: Almost

Danny: Sorry gotta go. My sister is calling.

Cass: Get home fast. Love you 😘

Danny: I love you too 💖

Cass puts the phone on the bed and closes her eyes. Soon, she falls asleep and dreams of living in a large house with a lot of children running around.

-The Bowery, Gotham-

A young skinny man with black hair and blue eyes is walking down the quite alley slowly. He looks around him as the people of the Bowery look almost respectful but certainly fearful to him.

He sighs and leaves the sprawled bodies on the ground. They wouldn't die. He makes sure of that. A huge man comes within his proximity when suddenly the man bows down to him.

????: We are sorry, sir. These people are a new gang in the rise from the east. We get the news too late to send people to dispose of them.

Danny: Chill out, Jeff. Just take them to Dani and let her handle it. Also, tell her to return before dinner or else Jazz will come for her.

Jeff: Yes, sir.

The man along with a few of his henchmen pick the bodies and move them to somewhere else. To be honest, Jazz and Danny still don't know how to feel that their little sister is officially a crime lord.

All of them moved last month since Jazz gets her job at Arkham Asylum and Danny gets his internship at Wayne Enterprise. Dani tags along since she has explored all the places she wants to visit and she doesn't know what else to do.

Well that also didn't last long, as the first day they arrived at Gotham, Dani goes to beat up all the gang and goons in The Bowery and round them up into one single group. It's certainly easier that all the rouges are in Arkham right now.

One time the Falcon crime family tried to threaten Dani by taking Danny and Jazz hostage. In the end, Falcon and other crime families agree to stay out of The Bowery after Danny freezes all of their building and Dani strikes them with lightning multiple times.

Danny arrives home and sits on the couch. He scrolls Twitter while waiting for his sisters to return when the news catches his eyes.

Breakout at Arkham Asylum

All the people of Gotham are suggested to stay inside tonight.

Danny looks at the news with concern. Usually a breakout at Arkham happens a lot later in the day. He stands up, picks a leather jacket and a mask and then transforms into Phantom. He wears the mask and the jacket and flies towards Arkham Asylum to check out what happened. Today is Saturday so Jazz isn't working so he doesn't worry that much about Jazz.

On his way to Arkham, he encounters some rouge like The Riddler and Scarecrow. He knocks them out and hangs them on a poll and continues flying towards it. He's not a hero anymore but if the rogues are to enter and cause havoc in The Bowery, neither him, Jazz nor Ellie will be happy.

Suddenly, he sees a clown car speeding through the road at a very fast speed. Danny looks at it and sees the Joker along with his few goons are making a getaway while being chased down by a few cop cars. Danny flies down towards the clown car, and slowly unscrews the tyres of the car.

Danny flies back a little bit to the back and the clown car starts to wiggle and waggle and suddenly all of the tyres come off the car. Danny can hear the clown cursing heavily until finally they crash into a poll.He flies back down and just to make sure he is permanently down or at least down for some time, snap his back bone to incapacitate him.

Danny, still invisible, flies back up and continues on his way to Arkham. He meets a few more escapees like Mr. Freeze, Firefly and Killer Croc. Except for Killer Croc, all the other rouges are beaten up and sent back to Arkham. Killer Croc or Waylon is not thinking of causing trouble. He just wants to return to the sewer cause it is his home. Danny plans to maybe offer Waylon employment in their gang if he feels like Waylon is stable enough to work. Meanwhile, he will go around the city and beat up rogues that he is pretty sure is not going out to have a tea party.

When Danny lands on the roof, he opens his phone to see Cass is warning him to stay at home and not go outside. He smiles wryly since he is already outside and is beating up the rouges. Danny replies with a thumbs up and is about to continue flying when a shadow jumps out from behind him.

Danny: Uh, hello? How are you?

???: *Stares*

Danny: I'm no trouble. Just on the lookout just in case there is a rouge nearby. I see some guy beat up Scarecrow and The Riddler on my way here. They are not so scary when they don't have anything to use you know.

???: Where?

Danny: Errr, I think it is right over there. I was coming from that direction so you would probably see them if you go this way.

???: Thank you.

The shadow then vanishes and Danny is left standing there. The shadow really reminded him of Cass for some reason. Looking up online, apparently that one is called Black Bat.

Danny: Huh, they are out early today then. I guess they can work during the day.

Danny then turns invisible and returns back to the Bowery because most of the notorious rogues have been captured and Danny isn't worried about the rest.

Part 2

[2tcs]

Day 2 Meeting a new family member and Wire

“My brother has moved to Gotham and I intend to visit them tonight as Robin.” Damian announced as everyone began to eat dinner.

“You have. A brother?” Tim haltingly asked as he looked at Damian.

“Tt. That is what I said. I advise not attempting to contact him unless he invites you into his home.”

“Damian. Why didn’t you tell me you had a brother?” Bruce asked.

“It was irrelevant. Danyal is older than me and had been deemed a failure by the time Mother and Grandfather decided to make me. I had been under the impression that he had been disposed of. In a way, I suppose he was, seeing as he was placed in the hands of some scientists who worked for the league.”

“But he’s back. Do you know what he wants?” Tim asked as Bruce disassociated.

“He would not go into detail but it seems that the scientists who raised him have found a purer and more radioactive Lazarus water. It is why I am meeting him tonight so he can turn over the more sensitive information without the league hearing about it.”

“Damian.” Bruce started before rethinking what he was going to say. “I would like to come with. He may be your brother but he is also an unknown.”

“I am aware Father. That is why I am telling you now. You cannot come with me but I will stay in contact and keep the com channel open throughout the entire exchange.”

“I would still prefer”

“Father. You will not come with. Danyal has expressly forbade you from meeting him.”

“That makes this even more suspicious! If not me then at least bring Dick with you.”

“Richard is in Bloodhaven and will not be able to get here in a timely manner. I am going alone.” Damian said before standing up and walking off.

“Damian!”

“Give it a rest B. He’s on a mission and I have a feeling he’ll go alone no mater what you say. If anything we could try to tail him but I have a feeling he’ll be on the lookout for that.”

“Hn.”

👻🦇👻🦇

“Akhi. You have fortified this place well.” Damian complimented as he walked into the office of the warehouse where Danny had made his base. It had been years since Danny had looked into the child that was meant to replace him after he failed one too many missions for Grandfather's liking. But to see that his little brother had managed to escape the league made Danny’s core hum happily.

“Thank you, Dams. But we aren’t here for pleasantries.” Danny said as he walked over to the single desk in the room and pulled a thick file out of one of the drawers. “In here is a brief rundown of the Fenton's research as well as a law that has recently passed that is in violation of”

Before Danny could finish talking there was a loud crash and a string of expletives.

“What the fuck! Who puts two wire traps mere inches from each other!” The voice shouted before the sound of a body hitting the floor. A few moments later the voice started yelling again as they fell into another trap.

“A friend of yours Dams?” Danny asked while he watched the door.

“A member of our family. Unfortunately. I had told Father not to come and I was hoping the fact that it was in Crime Allie would discourage Drake. I had not counted on Father getting Todd involved.” Damian sighed before walking over to the folder.

“As long as he does not wake up the littles I could care less. Perhaps we should help him out?” Danny asked. Not noticing Damian’s head snapping up to stare at him.

“Littles? You did not inform me of anyone else.”

“Hm. Long story short? You are an uncle to two little ones.”

“ALL RIGHT! WHO SET UP ALL THOSE… Demon brat. I should have known.” Red Hood said as he barged into the office. Causing twin crys to echo from a door on the opposite side of the main door. “Are those?”

“Yes, and your entrance has just woken up my kids. Dams? I have also left a number in the folder if you need to contact me. I will be off now.” Danny said as he began to walk towards the door the cries were coming from.

“There is a family brunch every Wednesday at ten in the morning. I request you to be there so that I can meet the new members of our family. Father would also like to meet you.” Damian said while ignoring Jason’s stuttering.

“I will think about it. Until next time Dams.” Danny replied before disappearing through the door.

[ultimate-marysue]

You know how Finn Wolfhard unionized the other Stranger Things kids so they could swear in the show after coming back from filming IT? That's Duke.

Also, his biggest adversary in this fight is not Bruce, it's Dick. He refuses to let Damian swear and delights in using cheesy family friendly curses. The older kids give him like, a month before he inevitably falls in line. In retaliation, Duke starts censoring Dick's name like he's in a TikTok. The psychological war that ensues gets so absurd Bruce lifts the swearing ban "as long as it's not too inappropriate or unprofessional".

Everyone says thank you to Duke, and Tim uses his first official swear to say "Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw" at a particularly gruesome crime scene. Montoya does not recover from that one and the ban is reinstated for Tim.

[l0s3rd0wnt0wn]

THE MIND OF A WEIRD BLACK GIRL

CHAPTER 1: "I'M JUST A GIRL!!!"

Platonic yandere!batfamily x Neglected weird black!reader

CHAPTER 2

SYNOPSIS: You're not childish, are you?

3:00 am. I should be dead asleep right now, completely unconscious, but tonight I couldn't help myself. I mean, who passes up an update on their favorite Tumblr fanfic? This fic has got me stuck at my desk for days on end. I keep telling myself that this is the last one and that I'm done, but then out of the blue, an ask pops up from the floodgates, and I'm back on my grind; no Kevin Gates. The blue rays of my computer screen glow against my dark skin. I can feel my eyes getting red and heavy. Another swig of Monster will keep me alive. One sip, and I feel my body tingle. That definitely wasn't good. I can hear my mom's words ringing in my head: "I saw a story on Facebook about a girl who drank so many energy drinks her heart stopped." She really needs to get off Facebook, and I really need to invest in some water. *Ping* OOOH, Leon Kennedy smut? Don't mind if I do! I laugh evilly to myself, clicking the fic with the pretty pink dividers.

*BEEP BEEP* "AHHH!!" I fall out of my gaming chair, my face hitting the cold floor. I rub my eyes that were under my glasses. I turn my head to see the screen of my alarm clock. FUCK! I'm late! I grab my school uniform and race to the bathroom. That's weird. I'm the first one here. It doesn't matter; take what you can and do what you need. I take a quick shower, put on deodorant and perfume, and stare at all my imperfections. My eye bags are getting bigger; that’s what happens when I watch 24 episodes of One Piece nonstop. Taking off my bonnet, I pray my hair cooperates with me now. I flat iron it until my arms go numb. I smell something burning. You know what? Just thug it out. Great, I look respectable. Grabbing my jacket, I run down the stairs. We really need an escalator.

Running into the dining room, I see everyone at the dinner table, no one in a hurry or rush. "Young master, would you like to join us?" The British accent of the old butler made me calm down, only for a millisecond. "Sorry, Al, but I'm late!" I grab a waffle off the table. "What in hell's name are you talking about?" the little devil speaks up. "Damian," his name makes my skin crawl. Ever since he got here, he's been on my back like white on rice. "None of your business, pipesqueak!" I glare at him. Still, my father's icy blue eyes shine on me like an interrogation light. I straighten myself. "Sorry to burst your bubble, [Name], but it's Saturday." I try to hold in an involuntary groan. Every time Tim speaks, it’s like he’s trying to correct me on something. I get it, you're smart; get a life. "I knew that," I huff, the fastest lie in history. "Then why were you running like a chicken that lost its head, and why are you all dressed for school?" Jason says sarcastically, sipping his coffee. His mug has a middle finger on the bottom; it seemed like it was pointing at me. Asshole.

"Well, I was just... whatever." Grabbing a piece of French toast, I go to sit down, but Steph's hand reaches out to cover the seat. "Sorry, [Name], this is Cass's spot." Oh, what is this, middle school? I walk to the other side of the dining table, but both Tim and Damian cover the seat. "This is for Dick." Oh, this is middle school. My blood is beginning to boil. "Great, I guess all the seats are taken. Thanks, team." I snatch a plate of pancakes off the table, walking up to my room. "Thank Allah! I can't stand it when she sits with us. She won't stop rambling about Power Rangers. She's so childish." I hear laughs coming from downstairs. Well, isn’t that just great? So much for a family breakfast. I eat in my bed. I’d rather doom scroll through Tumblr than talk to those losers—those really cool, strong, popular losers. I stare up at the Batman merch in my room. They’re all in order from Batman all the way down to Duke, the last member of the family. I used to find it weird having merch, shirts, and posters of them. I mean, they’re my "family." It’s just odd, you know? But I idolize them; even Damian—fighting crime, saving lives—all that crap. They're cool, but who knew cool people could be so cruel and mean? But let's be real; the family tree should've ended at Duke. I have no powers, no cool ninja training. I'm not smart or athletic. I sweat at the idea of running a mile. I get good grades, but I’m not Tim Drake-smart. I’m not even a Cass-level fighter. Hell, I don’t fight, period. The bottom line is, I’m "normal," as normal as a high school girl who likes video games, comics, anime, and cartoons can be. Other kids wouldn’t call you "normal," but in my family, I’m a saint compared to them.

But that's enough of that. I'm going downstairs to put my food away. Everyone’s gone, just Alfred in the kitchen cleaning up. "Hey, Al, where's everyone?" I say, putting my dish in the sink, then picking up a sponge, ready to help the old man out. "Oh, family outing." Family outing? "To where?" "To see a play, I believe, or a show. Maybe I saw tickets?" A show? "Don't you think it's too early for that stuff?" I reply, my hands getting wet with soap foam. "It's a long play; they had to get there early." Oh really, huh? "Was there a ticket for me?" "I'm afraid not." Oh, just great. Dad can buy tickets for his clan of kids, but not for his singular daughter? Fucking fantastic. My hands stop scrubbing the plate. "Oh cool." I didn't want to sound disappointed, but let's be real—I was. They always do things without me, and whenever I'm invited to things, it's out of pity—like a little kid your mom forces you to play with because she met the other mom, and now you guys have to be friends and hang out by pure association, even if you don't want to. I can see it whenever they're around—going to the theater with Steph, Cass, and Babs to watch some superhero movie, I shout out facts like crazy: "You know Spider-Man isn't allowed to drink any alcohol!" during the Into the Spider-Verse movie premiere. I could feel them rolling their eyes at me. Fake fans. Next time, they didn't invite me at all. Maybe I talk too much, or I’m too childish. I tried to invite Tim to play a fighting game with me. "The MHA fighting game? What are you, twelve? You're so childish, [Name]." He's acting like MHA is a bad anime. I went to their library with Jason once and picked up Percy Jackson. "Look, Jay, they have the whole series!" I looked down and saw him holding The Giver. Oh well, these are completely different books. "Can you try not to read something so childish? Grow up, [Name]." Oh yeah, only middle schoolers read Percy Jackson—it's not like he's a staple of my childhood or that I grew up with Vivra character designs of him, not at all. But it seems like a recurring theme: "You're childish, so, [Name]." "Grow up, [Name]." Maybe that's why I wasn’t invited. I'm immature and childish. Hell, even Damian’s more mature than me, and he's like 14. But I'm not childish; I'm just passionate and energetic, and I like things. I like a lot of things. Is it wrong to enjoy stuff to the fullest? I could never be nonchalant. If I can't show how I feel, then who am I?

"Young master?" "Sorry, Al, just deep in thought." I sighed. He patted my back gently. "You could spend time with me." "You don't mind?" "Not at all." At least there's someone who loves my passion. "You don't mind?" He shakes his head gently, so I spend Saturday with Alfred. It was mostly cleaning and listening to R&B. I never knew he liked Janet Jackson, but who doesn't like Janet Jackson? She's Janet Jackson! We were lip-syncing to Ginuwine: "So Anxious!" The house was clean; time to watch trashy TV—Dance Moms. It's our main show. "No! Why are they dancing like that? Horrible choreography!" I laugh. "You couldn't do better!"

"I have to run some errands; would you like to come?"

"Nah, I'll chill here, thanks, Al."

He pulled me into a strong hug despite his frame and then pulled me off the couch. "Get me something pretty, please!" I screamed out.

"Yes, young master!"

I giggled. If it doesn't burn my stomach in seconds, I don't want it. Flipping through the TV channels like crazy until I hit the news, I saw them all together without me in fancy clothes and coats, smiling at the camera. This was more than a play or a show; this was some kind of event, and they didn't think to bring me or tell me. They didn't think of doing anything to inform me, and the way they were smiling and talking, it was like they planned this all week, all month even. And no one even told me—they didn't invite me; they left me here.

"Dick, where's your little sister tonight?" said a reporter.

"Which one?!" Duke chimed in with a big smile.

"No, I mean [Name]," the reporter said, putting the microphone in his face.

"You know how she is. [Name] is just too childish sometimes."

Dick ran a hand through his hair, laughing. His blue eyes gleamed at the camera. Childish?

"Yeah, she can't go to events like this; she'd lose it," Steph barked out, making Tim chuckle.

"Yes, she's a handful; she wouldn't know how to act around these cameras."

Really, Dad, really? They're all laughing and making fun of me. The same words come up: "Childish," "Grow up," "Handful." I'm not that bad, am I? The final nail in the coffin: "She's so immature." From Damian? Immature? I'm not immature; I like comic books and collect figures and plushies and trading cards. I make cosplays and write fanfiction. That doesn't make me childish; I'm just passionate, that's all. I have passion. I care for the things I like, so what if they were made for little kids and boys to play on the playground? It doesn't mean I can't like it, doesn't mean I can't enjoy it, doesn't mean I can't handle a few cameras or a few mics.

Hot tears run down my face. "I-I I'm not childish! I can handle it! I can be a Wayne! I can grow up! I can!" Who am I trying to convince—me or the damn TV screen? I feel my body shaking. I rip the plug of the TV out of the wall, throwing it to the ground. I run upstairs to my room, seeing the Batman and Robin merch staring at me. "Childish? I'll show you childish!" I wipe the figures off my shelf; they hit the floor, smashing apart. The heads fell off and the wings of Red Robin's suit broke. I smashed the Lego Batmobile piece, scattering it everywhere. I ripped the posters off my wall. "Who's the handful now, huh, Bruce?" I stomped on the poster and snatched a Batman plushie off my nightstand. I took a mechanical pencil and stabbed it; the stuffing pooled out like blood. "I'm not a handful!" I threw it against the wall near Damian's action figures and Dick's.

"I'm not a handful!" I yelled as loud as I possibly could, my voice breaking. I flopped down onto the floor, my legs shaking. I could hardly breathe, staring at the mess all around me. I sniffled and wiped my face gently. I picked up the Batman plushie and pulled it close to my chest. "Sorry, Daddy."

@milkbean69

@mal-flores

@kultofkorii

@hebaoffside

@ichbswa

@simpingpandas

@sh0dor1

@pix-stuff

@viilan

@smutty-littleslut

@ilovemyhusbandnanami

@thecloudsaremyhome

@meganhaxaxa200

@goodsoup19

@onceinamillionposter

[livinghalfway]

Younger Years Pt. 7

Masterlist

Summary: Damian gets temp de-aged to 6yrs old; cue him asking where his twin is. This is how everyone finds out about Danny's existence. Word Count: 1254

Danny was really starting to regret wanting Sam and Tucker to come with him to Gotham as he stands in front of the planetarium’s dedication plaque. The words themselves almost feel as if they are mocking him; opening old wounds once thought healed. 

“To the one who told me that all I needed to do was look towards the stars to find him. — Damian Wayne” 

He remembers the day he said those words to Damian. It was the night before they would be going on separate missions, hundreds of miles apart. Despite it not being said Danny knew that Damian didn't like the idea of them not being together. The words were meant to be a way to bring comfort to his brother. 

Danny didn't know how he felt seeing them, knowing that Damian remembered what he had said all those years ago. He didn't think he liked it though as his chest started to feel tight the more he stared at them.

While stuck in his own head and feeling Danny failed to notice Sam and Tucker coming up from behind him. 

"Maybe an old friend?" Sam wonders, "His mom or another family member? The person might not even exist though; could have just built the building and dedicated it to a fake person to make it seem more special." 

"No way! No one is going to make a building purposely seem more special in Gotham; that's just asking for it to be destroyed." Tucker counters before lightly elbowing him in the side. "What about you Danny, what do you think? Real or fake?"

"I- I think we should head inside, and find our seats before the show starts!" Grabbing both Sam and Tucker's arm he pulls them towards the doors with him. 

Once inside Danny lets go of his friends and takes a look around the dome shaped room. As he does the feeling in his chest returns ten folds. Damian obviously had this built for him, and he just can't figure out why. 

Why after all this time has his brother decided to become sentimental about his supposed death; about him? It's the only thought on his mind as the lights dim and stars begin to cover the ceiling. Danny can almost block everything around him out, and pretend that he's back in Nanda Parbat with Damian.

It's comforting just as much as it is torturous. 

It’s not until the end of the show when Danny finally tunes back in to what the speaker is saying, and it’s not something he’s excited to hear. “-I’d also like to give a big thank you to the Waynes for joining us with their presence here today for a surprise interview! Especially Damaian Wayne, without his contributions none of us would have gathered here today to learn about the stars. Mr. Wayne, a few words if you please?” 

No.

No fucking way is this really happening. Of course the brother that he is trying his best to avoid is here on the same day as him. Just his fucking luck; now to find a way out of here without gaining Damian’s attention. 

Which is definitely easier said than done, especially when Tucker starts rapidly hitting his arm and whispering into his ear, “Dude! I can’t believe this, the Waynes are here! What are the odds?”

Danny doesn’t give his friend any sort of answer though as he looks at his brother for the first time in nearly four years. He’s of course seen pictures of Damian ever since the announcement of him joining Father in Gotham, but it’s a different feeling being so close yet so far to someone who was once so important in his life. Someone who he now needs to hide from and quickly.

Just as Damian and Father are turning to face the crowd Danny is grabbing Tucker's hat, and places it on himself while making sure to lower his head enough as a way to block his face from view. He can't have the Bats on his tail the very first day he's here. 

"Thank you for having us Mrs. Smith, my son and I are so excited to be here today!" Father grins brightly as he shakes the speaker's hand. "I knew as soon as Damian mentioned wanting a planetarium built that it was going to be an amazing idea." 

"That actually brings me to my first question. Damian, what made you want a planetarium built?"

"I was taught a lot about the stars as a child, and I wanted others to get the chance to learn about them as well," Damian simply states. 

"Can I ask who taught you? Is it the same person who you dedicated the building to?" 

Danny watches as his brother takes a breath, he's hesitating, before speaking in a soft tone, "Yes, they are one in the same. We would talk and go over the starry sky nearly every night. He taught me the courage of stars. How life carries on endlessly even after death. He’d explain the infinite, how rare and beautiful it is to even exist. I’d give anything to hear him say it one more time; that the universe was made to be seen by my eyes.”

A ringing is the only thing he hears now as he continues to stare at Damian. How dare his brother act like his death affected him; he has no right to do so. Where was this sadness when Ra's dealt the final blow?

He doesn't want to be angry at Damian, he already has spent far too much time being angry at someone who was also in an impossible situation that fateful day. It's just so hard not to be at this very moment. 

… Danny missed Damian. He missed being able to talk to him. It was easy to ignore and forget when they were miles apart, but that's impossible to do when his brother is right in front of him in a building he had built in tribute to him. 

Anger is easier to deal with than sadness. 

"-nny! Danny!" Sam grabs his shoulder and gives him a little shake as she whisper shouts his name. 

Looking around he sees that everyone is starting to stand to leave now; Damian is no longer anywhere in sight. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. I'm here. Let's- Let's go!" 

He stands quickly while swatting Tucker's hands away from grabbing his hat back; Danny will return it when he's sure the coast is clear. Danny practically runs to the front door as he keeps looking over his shoulder for any sign of Damian. He can't get caught now that he's so close to getting away. 

Danny takes one more last look behind him, noting Sam and Tucker not far behind, before throwing open the front door. Taking only a few steps outside before running into another figure; both grabbing onto one another as to not fall. 

"Danyal?" 

Snapping his eyes up he meets the gaze of none other than Damian Wayne. 

His twin must have seen the surprised recognition in his eyes because Damian tightens his grip and repeats himself with a growl, "Danyal." 

One second he's staring at his brother's face, and the next he finds himself running down the street. Danny knows he's a coward for running, but this is not something that he can handle right now. So he runs and runs and runs until turning into an alley, collapsing on the ground. 

Danny isn't sure how long he stayed in that alley, it must have been hours by now, when he hears multiple sets of footsteps seemingly approaching him. With a deep breath he gains enough courage to lift his head to see who exactly is now upon him. 

[prlssprfctn]

Continuing my agenda about Bruce and Jason becoming the most annoying and dramatic people after fixing their relationship, and making others roll their eyes, because, come on, we all need that. And because Bruce is as dramatic as others; he kinda technically was inspired by Zorro when becoming Batman, alright? That tells a lot.

Anyway, no thoughts, just Bruce and Jason annoying everyone with being the most melodramatic duo ever.

Jason, appearing in the Batcave out of the sudden, swaying a little: Hey Dick, worried: Hey. Are you okay? You rarely drop by like this... Jason, stopping by Bruce's armchair, dramatically slumping over: I... I came here today, because I lost my last battle... Bruce, who senses his bullshit, but plays along: Oh no, champ, what's wrong? Dick, activating mother-hen: SHOULD WE CALL ALFRED? ARE YOU- Jason, sniffling: Battle... Battle with... Loneliness. Bruce, with a short smile on his face: (theatrically puts Britney's Baby One More Time exactly on "My loneliness is killing me" line) Dick, groaning: YOU BOTH-

Jason, spawning in the middle of the day in WE, behind Bruce's back: Old man, protocol 222. Asap. You have five minutes. Bruce, standing up abruptly: Oh, okay. Bruce, with his stern father voice on: Jason, you are disowned. Jason: Fuck you!!! Tim, who was sitting in the same cabinet, watching as Jason storms off: Excuse me? Bruce: He is either watching some movie or reads a book about daddy issues, so he needs to get into a mood. Please, continue your analysis. Tim: ...What the fuck.

Duke: I was always a little curious... What was your father like? No pressure, you don't need to answer if you don't want to. Jason: Well- Bruce, popping out of nowhere: How come you don't know what kind of father I am? Duke: Oh, no, I meant Jason's biological fa- Bruce, frowning: I am his biological father. Jason, because he is no less shit: Yeah, damn, didn't want to tell others, especially to Damian, since he will freak out... But apparently Bruce had a one-night stand thing with my bio mama. It is kinda a secret. Bruce, very pleased: Yeah. It is a secret... but you can probably say that, considering how alike we look. Jason: (nods) Duke, absolutely believing this shit, because had you seen this fucking family: Oh. Ok. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. Jason, beaming: Thanks, dude. That's why you are my favourite.

[witherby]

What would happen if any if the batfamilys enemies kidnapped baby y/n and ended up hurting them badly?

I'm happy to tell you, but not in any fantastic detail. When you say "baby" I think "infant, no teeth, still in diapers, etc."

Content warning for bruises on an infant

--

The contexts in which you would not be with a family member as an infant are very few and far between. I'm thinking a couple of your brothers have you on an outing, like a soiree or a networking lunch for Wayne Enterprises, where they have to put the masks away and act like civilians. There's lots of people around, their attention spans are divided, and they're also counting down the minutes until it's socially acceptable to leave.

When that time finally hits, Dick politely excuses himself and goes to collect you and Tim so they can head home. But he only finds Tim.

And Tim turns and only sees Dick.

"I thought you were watching them," Tim says, immediately turning sheet white. Dick's complexion is the same.

"I thought you were watching them."

Cue the immediate panic. Tim has his phone out and is trying to pinpoint your location via the tracker they put in all your pacifiers. Dick's eyes are sweeping the area for any signs of you having either crawled away or gotten scooped up by some confused and well-meaning socialite.

You are far away, and getting farther. Someone definitely took you on purpose. They don't hesitate before leaving the gathering and radioing backup. They'll handle all the screaming and scolding from everyone else as long as you get back home safe.

Whoever did take you, be it someone from the usual rogues gallery or a rando that likes kidnapping kids, it doesn't take long for them to catch up to him. It also doesn't take long to do any damage, either, so when they do find you, it's unfortunately with some significant bruising. Your chubby cheeks are red from tears and your arms and waist have handprint bruising from being dragged around, but nothing is broken or bleeding.

Your brothers can't say the same for the one that had the balls kidnap you. He should be thankful Jason was already on another mission.

(Jason comes back and pays him a visit anyway. Nobody gets to lay a fucking finger on you.)

In the aftermath, you're almost overwhelmed by the attention. You don't sleep in your nursery alone again for months; either someone is in there with you, or you're simply relocated to one of their bedrooms for the night. You're handled so, so delicately, like you're made of porcelain. It's all very soft play and quiet voices for a couple days. If you flinch at contact, either due to the trauma of the kidnapping or because someone brushed against a bruise that's still healing, there will be tears shed from that person.

Bruce notices you flinch when he burps you after a feeding and he has to sit on the floor with you in his lap because his hands are shaking so badly.

Damian will not touch you directly at all. If you need to be picked up, he's fashioning a hammock to slowly and gently roll you into and then carry you off.

Alfred maintains the calmest facade when he carries you around, but if you make any kind of whine or pained face, he has to take a moment alone to recollect himself.

Dick and Tim can barely stand to look at you. They're overwhelmed with guilt for assuming the other person was watching you and not simply double-checking themselves.

Jason asks Tim if he can do some tummy time with you, and he just straight up shakes his head.

Dick fucks up his sleep schedule keeping an eye on you in the night, because even though Dr. Thompkins cleared you, what if she missed something and you develop a complication and need help? He doesn't patrol Blüdhaven properly for weeks, instead coming over to Gotham to keep vigil at your window.

Needless to say, the general public does not see you again for months, and when they do, you are with the entire family. They will not let that happen again.

[coldilikeit]

Isekai reader x Batfam (Neglected au)

Female reader

Chapter 6- The mission is non-existent

TW: School shooting

______________________________

Damian looks around the room, it feels more like an apartment rather than a room

"No wonder the miss rarely comes down for food, with the amount of kitchen appliances here she'd rival a small town restaurant..." Alfred chuckles, he looks at the expensive, top grade materials

"There's nothing in the fridge though..." Jason grumbles, Duke is asleep beside you holding your hand and Bruce admires the scene "That's enough, stop rummaging through your sister's stuff"

He looks around your room, pictures of your friends, you at parties, you at school events, how the fuck?, you held your own charity gala? How??? Where did you get the money? How did this not reach him?

"hng- ow- What the fuck!?" You wake up and you see the cast of the Addams family surrounding you

"Don't try to overdo it" Dick helps you sit up

"Huh?"

Reader! You are fucked, everyone's hatred meter has gone down to 10%, EVEN DAMIAN AND JASON'S METER

You shift further away from Dick, his gaze turns sad sensing your discomfort with him, he really needs to change that

"Is there something you need?" Duke asks, he holds your hand tight, "Do you need us to do something?" Asked Tim

"Can you all please leave my room..." You say and you see that Bruce hesitates "Are you sure? You might need assistance?"

Reader, make them go away, it keeps on dropping! If it reaches zero you'll fail!

"There's no need, it was just fear gas..."

_____________________________

School was absolute shit.

Damian had pulled you away from your friends to eat with you during recess, you'd also found out Tim bribed the principal to switch your classes so you'd have the same as his

Some of your friends are annoyed that your siblings are meddling, they've never eaten lunch with you before? Why now? And others are cooing, they've never seen you interact with your siblings, and the fact your gentler with your friends than your siblings makes them happy

Your teachers are grateful that you manage to tame Damian

"(Name)! I watched your violin concert last night! You were amazing!" Says a student, you smile "Thank you!"

Then the student's mood shifts "I heard that the route you were taking home was attacked by both the Joker and Scarecrow right? Are you okay?" They ask, the surrounding students get curious but don't necessarily engage

"yeah... I'm fine" you say, you're trying to think of ways to differentiate the topic, the student gasps "Oh but I saw on the news that you were one of scarecrow's victims! And that you inhaled the fear gas..." She says as she smirks, "I don't really want to talk about it, and I'm fine..." You answer

"Oh but-" Damian grabs her arm and pushes her away from you "She says she doesn't want to talk about it? Why are you pushing?! Are you really worried or you just wanted gossip?" He snarls

You see the girl wince but smiles anyway "ah right... Sorry"

And then it hit... An attack? It hits your school so fast, the students scream and panic, "Everyone out!" Shouted a security guard, you hear a bunch of gunshots in the halls and the screams from that direction become quieter until it stopped completely see

Are you serious?

A school shooting.

Never in your original years and reincarnated years combined have you ever been so fucking scared and pissed off at the same time

First and foremost, you just survived the mother fucking scarecrow, now you have to survive guns?

Damian holds your hand and runs away with you, "What are you doing!? You're supposed to save people!?' you whisper-yell to him, he gets you to a hidden area and hands you a small dagger he hid in his socks, he looks at you worryingly "Stay here, wait till I get back-"

"They've been apprehended!" yelled a student, "Well... There's no need for that huh?", slowly you and Damian walk out of the room to see what happened? Did another bat get them already? Was it Tim?

Then you see her.

In a hero costume, trapping the shooters with what seem to be magical ropes, her costume design looked like it was stolen from my hero academia

"There's no need for all of you to worry, for I Protagonist has taken care of them, they'll be handed over to the police" she says

"Did she really name herself 'Protagonist'?" Tim comes from behind you looking baffled at the name choice

"At least she saved us" you say

_____________________________

Hey so do you guys remember that one comment about the family couch on chapter 2? And how all the years of living there you never sat on it? Well after days of the family trying to get you to watch a movie with them on the couch, you confessed you feel weird about sitting somewhere sacred to them

You come home after volunteering at a soup kitchen that the family couch is gone, replaced by a new pristine couch with comfortable pillows

Stephanie smiles at you "You're back! Wash up, the family is watching a movie" mixed in her voice a tone of dominance, you can't say no

You find yourself huddled up, you feel yourself sweating as Tim curls up on you and Cass is leaning on your shoulder, Dick hand you the remote "You pick" she says

You scroll for a few moments and you feel the family get a bit impatient, so you click on the nearest movie you find

Bad idea.

It was a movie about a dog being abandoned by their owner in a hike and as they try to find their way home they die

You're in shambles, you've watched people die in movies, either terminal illnesses, a series of unfortunate events, murder, you've cried to some, some didn't phase you

But a sad dog movie?

You are wrecked, Jason hands you your 3rd tissue pack, your inconsolable, you hate animals getting sad endings, the. Titus licks your hand, Damian brought him to console you, while Bruce chooses another movie, this time he chose a dog movie with a happy ending, you hugged Titus the whole night

It happened to you before, when you and your friends were in a really lengthy assembly, they fell asleep on your shoulders, you made it your mission to not move at all, you didn't want to wake them, you liked that they learned on you for comfort

But Tim and Cass sleeping on you, you have no idea what to do, your instincts that you got because of your friends tell you to stay still so they'd be comfortable

Another part of you is screaming that if you don't move the hatred meter will go down

And go down it did

Everyone is down to 2%, you can't let it get to zero, you can't

Bruce looks at you "(Name) about your upcoming 16th birthday-"

He sees you asleep, he smiles and admires his children

Matter of fact you were just pretending to be asleep, if you hear another birthday party plan you'll die, last year you had that Damian excuse, but now? You're out of reasons to not have that stupid party

So you sleep...

Oh well look at all of you...

What a happy family.

You're done for.

_____________________________

Damian: I need to place (Name) in a safe space before helping

Protagonist: the job is done

Tim: Tacky fucking name

_____________________________

@jellyedkazoo @vanilliona @shyenemyperson @popboomcha @plsfckmedxddy @devotedlyshamelessdetective @dorkatron-2000 @yuyuzi-ling @sweetsugerskull @butratherbutrather @yu-reiii @clementinesyummy @lfiee @iamapotatoe @type-ink @unknownloner1345 @randomlyappearingartist @justatimidcreator

[acid-ixx]

chapter five dialogue spoilers

— masterlist !

"you don't fucking understand jason!

— i don't need your help, or anyone else's. you have never been there for me! never been there for all the times i suffered because of your death! so don't even try to make a difference now!"

"— no way, did you dare scold me just now, jason. out of all the times i nearly got killed, you decided to save me by the time i accepted my death?! this isn't the first fucking time this happened to me and it wouldn't be the last."

"hell, the only first that happened this time was that one of you actually came to save me, so don't you fucking belittle me and call me impulsive and selfish when i can and have handled all this alone."

"jason... i don't want to be his favorite, i never want to be, fuck—!"

"i never wanted to be an athlete like dick, or as academically talented like you, or some crazed detective like tim, or as skilled as an assassin like damian! i don't even have the determination steph has or barbara's perseverance to continue fighting alongside all of you! i can't even reach cassandra's level of fighting, and i certainly don't have powers like duke!"

"— all of you guys are so fucking talented, and here i am, so pathetic for thinking i can reach the same level as you all when i can't!"

"i just can't, jason! so how could i have the damn audacity to desire being bruce's priority when each and every one of you are beyond my level?!"

"i never wanted to be bruce's favorite, jason! i just..."

"... i just wanted to be his child."

"i just want to be selfish for once... i want to see him the same way he looks at you back then, every damn time he stares at your grave, while i watch by the fucking windows, wishing it was me he looked at."

"i wanted him to look at me, and think of me as important as you, or even just a semblance of it..."

"god, i don't even want him to see me as a priority, i don't want him to see me and think i'm the best damn thing in the world, but i want him to stare and think, 'this is my child,' without any second thoughts, without any regards for my dirty fucking past."

"... we're not even siblings anymore, we're just strangers to each other—"

"that's not true, angel. don't even... don't even think of saying that..."

"why are you trying so hard to push us away?! push me away right after you.. you opened up?!"

"because we're not family anymore, goddamnit! care for me, care for me like you care for all those strangers getting mugged in the street! not as my brother—!"

"i am your brother, (name)!

and i care for you, more than you can ever fucking imagine, so don't... don't fucking push me away! not especially right after i almost lost you!"

a/n: hi guys, sorry for the random inactivity. i've been at an all time low with depression and that directly affected my motivation to write. lately, imposter syndrome alongside self-esteem issues did hinder me from commiting to writing events, and most especially this series. it's a very loved one, i know, for all the comments, thank you a lot for supporting me. but sometimes there're times i'm close to nearly deactivating this account. for everyone hoping for the next part; i don't know when, or how i'll be able to, but soon.

[arandomao3user]

Humbly asking for Bernard being a freaky fuck around the Batfam and Tim just being so done

*Insert cracking knuckles*

*Chugs down a bottle of Dr. Pepper*

*Slowly sips from my liter of caffeine in my fridge, don't ask*

Consider it did.

MINORS DNI!

YOU'RE TO YOUNG, YOU'RE TO BEAUTIFUL! (If you don't understand this meme/ vine, then you're definitely to young.)

Bernard, walking into the room:

Dick, talking with Jason:

Cass and Duke, playing a board game:

Stephanie, cheating at Jenga against Damian:

Bruce, discussing plans with a very, very tired Tim:

Bernard:

Bernard, deciding this family can absolutely not have nice things (/j): Hey, baby boy.

Tim, absolutely exhausted, functioning on the caffeine free sprite Jason handed him: Hey, Daddy.

The entire room:

Stephanie: Oh. My. God.

Jason: Would it be triggering to point a gun to my head right now?

Bruce, staring at Bernard like he personally sent him back in time:

Dick, internally screaming:

Bernard: Worth it.

Duke: All y'all judgemental a#&holes, Bruce you forget to turn your comm off so often we might as well be third wheeling to all of you and Catwoman's rooftops f$&# sessions, Dick we've all seen the texts you've publicly had with Kori on the batcomputer, Jason you read erotica novels from Booktok in the living room, Stephanie and Cass have been caught sucking face seven times this past week and it's only Tuesday!

Bruce:

Jason:

Dick:

Cass:

Steph:

Duke, to Bernard and Tim: Happy for y'all, but please have more respect than everyone else in this s#&$ hole. I do not wanna know what my elder bro and his weird a#& boyfriend get into.

Bernard, giving a thumbs up: Thanks, Duke.

Tim so, so sleep deprived: . . . Do you think that animals who don't see colours like us think "why the f#&$% are these guys calling this green thing an orange?"

The entire room:

—

Dick: I wanna watch Mean Girls!

Jason: If you turn on that offensive-to-broadway musical version I will personally disown you.

Tim: Anything besides a musical.

Stephanie: Dirty dancing or nothing.

Cassandra: Wall-E. I will fight you all.

Damian: I wish to watch Heathers! I am officially fourteen and I was promised I'd be able to watch the traffic light women when I was of age!

Jason: The musical was better.

Bernard, to Tim: Wanna go upstairs?

Tim: ??? It's family movie night, gotta watch a movie.

Bernard: I can give you something to watch, and a family if you're up for it~

Stephanie, choking:

Jason: What the F#-%$ did I just hear?

Dick, horrified noises:

Damian: I retract my earlier statement, I wish to be thirteen again and to be to young to hear the things that come from Dowd's mouth.

Tim: Oh, so you guys can hear that over fighting, but not when I ask to pass the salt!?

Jason: I'd say to go suck a d$&#, but you probably would.

Tim: . . . We made out in the library earlier.

Jason, pulling a gun out: HELL NO!

Tim, running already: NEXT TO THE CLASSIC LITERATURE!

Jason, chasing after him: YOU'RE DEAD!

Dick, glaring at Bernard:

Stephanie:

Damian:

Bernard: Also, I vote Wall-E.

Bruce, walking in: Why is Jason trying to kill Tim again?

Cassandra: It is Bernard's fault.

Damian: He—

Bruce, raising his hand: No more information needed.

—

Bernard, in comms: Hey, love dove?

Tim: Not now, Honey Bear, in the middle of a stakeout. Black Mask stuff.

Bernard, lowering his voice: Hmm, did you just "not know" me? Kinda rude, baby.

Tim, blushing: Sorry, bear, just really busy at the moment...

Bernard: Well, try not to get to banged up now, babe, you're gonna need to be ready for when you get home and I—

Damian: Children are present!

Jason: And crime lords.

Dick: Red Robin is suddenly not gonna come home tonight, he'll be staying at the manor. Until he graduates college.

Tim: Nightwing, I don't even have my high school diploma!

Dick: Whoops, guess he's not gonna be home for a while.

Bruce: Please, no personal information in the field.

Jason: I hate this family.

—

Tim, helping Bernard move his stuff to his houseboat: You really don't own a lot, do you?

Bernard: Never needed much, I guess. Kinda used to losing things when I get attached to 'em, parents and all...

Tim: Aw, bear—

Bernard, pulling Tim by his necklace: On the bright side, I don't plan on losing my most prized possession anytime soon...

Tim, swallowing: And what's that?

Bernard: Well, I'd say you, but that'd be rude to refer to you as only an object to me, and a very big lie. But certain parts of you? They're all mine, like you're—

Stephanie, who was helping them move: Oh my actual gods! I wish I could deny you're a real person!

—

Bernard, online, anonymously: Just got to consesually drug and f#&$ Red Robin against his bike! Never kill yourself!

Nightwing, already knowing it's Bernard: Excuse me?

Robin: Count your days.

Red Hood: Your birth certificate has expired, don't even bother sleeping with both eyes open because I will come like death herself and reap the remnants of your soul from your body. Death won't have a chance to let your body settle into cold nor will you see the light. I will ensure every agonizing moment of your death is red hot and dark, and will remain that way till you wake in hell where the punishment you receive there will be a mercy compared to mine, nor will you wake there till mine is fully served.

*Batman likes Red Hood's comment*

Signal: Just watched Red Hood and Nightwing chase a civilian five blocks while Red Robin stumbles after them in a delirious state! Never kill yourself!

*Spoiler posts a video of it to TikTok. Oracle makes sure Bernard can't be identified.*

—

Bruce: Unfortunately, Red Robin has been benched for the next three weeks nor will he be leaving the manor in that time.

Dick: Really Bruce, you grounded your adult son?

Jason: That's a new low, even for you.

Duke: He don't even live with you! What next, is Spoiler gonna get grounded?

Cassandra: How does one get benched and grounded?

Jason: He hasn't done that since me, and the one time he did it, I died!

Bruce: It was more a valid reason this time.

Jason: Oh yeah, what's that?

Bruce:

Babs: Tim was caught giving Bernard a blow job in the backseat of the Batmobile.

Bruce: Hrn...

Damian: WHAT!? MOTHER SAID THAT'S WHERE I WAS CREATED!

Stephanie, choking on her drink:

Cassandra: Better than where I was created.

Dick: I did that with Kori once—

Jason: Same.

Dick: What do you mean same?!

Jason: I retract that statement.

Stephanie: Damn, we only ever made out in the batmobile.

Duke: Have all y'all been defiled in the Batmobile!? Cass!?

Cassandra: . . . Stephanie and I—

Bruce: Grounded. Everyone is grounded.

Jason, walking out: Back to my grave I go, I guess.

Bruce: JASON, NO!

Jason: MAYBE THIS TIME YOU'LL HEAR ME SCREAMING FOR YOU, BRUCE!

Bruce: Jason, No T_T

—

Stephanie: Cute necklace, who got it?

Tim: Oh, Bernard. If you pull it it chokes me.

Stephanie:

Tim: It's pretty though, right?

Stephanie:

—

*At Tim's boat*

Kon: Damn, what happened to you last night?

Tim, with bruises and rope burn and cuts on his visible skin:

Bart: Were you kidnapped and tortured!?

Cassie: You look like you put up a real struggle.

Tim: . . . I spent all night with Bernard.

Bernard, walking out their room, pressing a kiss to Tim's cheek: Oh, hey guys!

Cassie: That explains it.

Bart: H o w ?

Kon: I am so glad I'm not a bat.

Tim, shrugging: Hate the sin, love the sinner.

—