#Dysthymia

[rambles-of-mental-illness]

They Made You Into A Weapon And Told You To Find Peace

[papermunchughh]

Everynight I fall asleep looking mournfully into his eyes. "I can fix him." You can’t, not really. The kindest thing you can do for him is to be there. And then let him go.

"Promise me you won’t let me end up like that hopeye."

"If I’m trapped here… just let me go, okay?"

He compares himself to a hopeye slowly dying in a cage. Its so joever.

[mymusingsaftermidnight]

I'm not gonna lie. Its really annoying that persistent depressive disorder is like... Persistent

[aashidoodles]

Well, y'all know the drill. When i get really into a game I gotta express that love through doodles so here's the gang in their pre/early teens!

[pizzapocketphrog]

No one look at the marker smudges

[dyingroses]

[jiraisupportgroup]

[sourliartdump]

doodling some faces rather than sleeping whoops!

[oshidorifuufu]

i think a life like mine will just fade away

[wouldyourfavepaychildsupport]

would Dysthymia pay child support?

[twidiarie]

losing a hyper fixation is worse than a breakup, I think

Not that I've ever experienced a breakup, but I imagine it is

It's like having a piece of your soul being ripped out. 

Something you considered another piece of glass making up a mosaic

Unceremoniously chipped off with a palette knife

And it leaves behind a hollow, pore

And if the soul  is anything like rock,  more pores result in

More erosion

You desperately search for that spark again

Wait for someone else

You might try going back to your ex to make things work

But it's never a good idea because it'll never be the same

You might get lucky, but you'll most likely have to move onto

A new passion

A new lover

Unfamiliar 

Sometimes you fall fast and it's exhilarating and a rush of endorphins and dopamine and all the happy chemicals bounce around in your cranium like arcade pinball game

it's all encompassing, sustaining

but inevitably as everything,

it will perish 

because that is a truth of the universe 

all creations must die, and so will all thoughts and ideas birthed by those creations, some day

being hollow is agonizing 

it is painful, a deep ache that will persist

no matter how many times you try a slap a bandaid on,

like by temporarily pleasuring the taste buds and your olfactory systems with the delicacy that is strawberries and sharp cheddar. colors and explosions of flavor coat the expanse of your tongue and your throat. scents swirl, perfumes diffuse into the enclave of your mind,

or by temporarily pleasuring the eardrums with mind numbing, upbeat, soulless pop songs. dancing and prancing about in your pajamas, staging silent concerts with empty, invisible seats with empty, invisible people,

or by temporarily pleasuring the hands with making crafts, hastily slapping colors onto paper to try and create something, anything,

or by temporarily pleasuring the eyes with the art that exists already, outside, inside, in existing.

the fleeting desires of the mind cannot satisfy the needs of the soul.

the grief of passion. 

going through all five stages accompanies alongside it exhaustion.

and hope

hope that you'll stumble upon yet another lover

to bring back the colors in life

to revive feelings of whimsy and fantasy

to replace that piece of glass chipped off the mosaic

to slow down erosion once again

to keep the soul whole.

[hedgehogoftime]

Teenage Exocolonist Kids: How would they be as Jedi?

Sol: Our nonbinary icon is THE Jedi, especially after Transcendence. Goes on a long multi-lifetime journey to learn to accept there are things they cannot change and tragedies they cannot avoid is PEAK Jedi story. Definetly Master/Councilor material

Tangent/Tang: Eh, Tangent would probably not be a very good Jedi when it comes to active duty. She struggles with empathy which is a core Jedi value, but I think Jedi training would help her come to terms with her identity in a very helpful way. Definitely a more "stays at the Temple and researches/debates" type Jedi than one who goes out on active field work.

Cal/Recalcitrance: My gentle, plant-loving pacifist husband is PRIME Jedi material! Definitely head of the AgriCorps and teaches the younglings about cool plants from across the Galaxy on his off days. Man is literally great for the role of a Jedi. He's a Master, but probably not on the Council as he has no patience for politics.

Nem/Anemone: Eh... I do not think Nem would be a very good Jedi. Too angry, too attached to the memories of her loved ones. Relaly I see her more as a nat-born soldier or a light-aligned Bounty Hunter who works with the Jedi, but doesn't really get them. Not to say she's bad, but if she were trained as a Jedi she'd probably Fall at some point. However, I do think she'd make her way back to the Light eventually, with help. But, I don't see my girl as a very good Jedi.

Dys/Dysthymia: Dys would be a good Jedi... but only in certain circumstances. Definitely a Jedi Shadow, but with how he fails to get along with others I can't see him doing traditional Jedi things. However, he does have an instinctive knowledge of letting go. But, I do see his inability to feel fear as a detriment. Jedi train to overcome their fear and at in spite of it, but since Dys can't feel fear, i feel he would be missing a key piece of Jedi education. Not good.

Marz/Marzipan: Marz, actually would be a GREAT Jedi! Granted, not a very conventional one, with her love of the spotlight and drive to succeed, I see her as the Jedi's Liason to the Senate, as one of the few of the Order with a head for Politics. This lady would have the Senate and the Media eating out of her hand, giving the Jedi a sterling reputation. While she struggles with passion in some cases, I think she could easily overcome it!

Tammy/Aspartame: Did someone say Creche MasteR? Because this lovely lady is a Creche-Master! She would not only be great at caring for the Younglings, she's treasure every moment of working with them and readying them for the journeys ahead. And is Definetly secretly a Master and a badass, she actively chooses not to kick people's asses. Peace and love, baby.

Vace/Olivaceous: Not a good Jedi. At all. Too proud, too full of ambition and vainglory to hack it as one of the Servants of the Republic. Probably a Mandalorian, honestly, and a neutrally aligned one. If he were to become a Jedi he would fall. Period. He's too much like Anakin, too focused on his own glory and power to understand the Jedi Way.

Nomi-Nomi/Nomination: I'm...honestly at a loss, here. I think Nomi would make a very... weird Jedi? But a good one, probably? They're definitely kind and compassionate enough to be a Jedi, but they struggle with attachment so... probably a mid-ranked Knight who's a Smash Hit with the Younglings. Probably the first Jedi Twitch Streamer.

Rex/Basorexia: Honestly? Rex'd be a good Jedi. No in-depth explanations here, just vibes. Definitely Jedi material

[papermunchughh]

[pizzapocketphrog]

How does tumbler feel about I was a teenage exocolonist?

[elvexen]

[At a zoo]

Sol: So what are they in for?

Dys: This isn't a prison

Sol: So can they leave?

Dys: Well no but-

Sol, pointing at a hopeye: I bet that one killed somebody

[oshidorifuufu]

“i’m just going to push forward and be as happy as i can be!” then dysthymia hits