#Dysfunctional Grace

[churchofsatannews]

Tabernacle of Oddities - Tampa 2023

The 3rd annual Tabernacle of Oddities event returns August 12 & 13 to Ybor City, Tampa, FL. This year’s event has expanded to over 100 oddities, taxidermy and antique dealers and relocated to the historic and haunted four storey Cuban Club. The event features art, live music and performance, tattooing and more. The Tampa based oddities convention showcases Church of Satan Reverend Andy Howl.…

[thewingedwolf]

luther: the golden child

diego: the mastermind

allison: the peace keeper

klaus: the clown / mascot

five: the rebel / truth teller

ben: the lost child

viktor: the scapegoat

is this something i think this is something

[nokingsonlyfooles]

I'll be damned. It IS a diagnostic.

Ya know, @kithpendragon, I recall you mentioning you never thought of Magic Eye posters as a diagnostic, when I mentioned never being able to do them (and now I can!) but I did wonder if I'd just learned how instead of correcting something that kept me from seeing them. I got curious and the internet delivered!

There are several blog articles about it, but that there is a goddamn scientific paper.

If I'd known this in 6th grade when the damn things got popular, I could've fixed my eye when I was still a kid!

If you can't find the shark, you may have a problem!

For the rest of you, my eyes didn't used to line up. It wasn't enough to look obvious, just enough to give me trouble focusing. It also made me clumsier (impaired 3D vision means not knowing quite where things and people are) increased my anxiety in crowds (again, I wouldn't have known for sure where everyone really was) and made me read words all weird (I read them by their general shape, so I spell very badly). I didn't know any of that. That was just me. Until recently.

I've spent most of this year teaching my eyes to work together. My reward: LASIK (hopefully) and I can finally see Magic Eye posters. The LASIK is because I'm old enough to need dual correction and bifocals and progressives are not an option. My eye still tries to pull out of whack, and if I put on glasses that work like an obstacle course, it will.

I'm slow to focus and I still read words all weird. That might get better, or it might not. I'm grateful to have improved as much as I have. I can read and draw again! It still hurts a little because I need that dual correction, but I'm hopeful.

And I could've started this process 30 years ago! If only someone had realized those funny posters tell you how good your stereo vision is!

[theitcharchives]

(Ao3 heads-up: all my works are only shown to registered users)

Once upon a time, I wrote a really short story about pitfalls and downfalls of the one and the collective. In truth I'd had a brief spark of inspiration about a time-travelling plot twist.

Teenager me was very proud of this short piece of very amateur literature, because I thought being extremely vague about the gender of the space tyrant was incredibly progressive and not at all a manifestation of my own oblivious and not unique agender ass.

My go-to idea for publication was self-publishing, so a few months ago I had decided to test it out with a novelette titled Inferno. Well, self-publishing is darn hard, and I've had enough of testing, so Inferno has been retired and is not only free in full on Ao3 and Wattpad, but I've changed its title into Legacy of Mayhem and several paragraphs while I was at it.

---

~15k words

[Interesting tags: Science Fiction & Magic, Self Fulfilling Prophecy, Time Travel, Fall From Grace, Reluctant Allies To Dysfunctional Friends, Angst, Gen, First Person POV]

Star-children aren’t an oddity, but Ember, volatile like fire, born of death and new light, sure is–a very troublesome, talkative one, who has been kidnapped (twice) by a very miffed warrior, survivor of an apocalypse yet to come.

Duly named Miff, said warrior has the mission of challenging Time itself and its rule over History. After a first merciful, failed attempt he must find another way to avoid the rise of a tyrant to lunacy.

To avoid Mayhem.

Two stubborn people on the run from governments and monsters, from the past that becomes the future, with the task of saving the universe twice–once each. If they don’t drive each other crazy first.

Focusing on the interactions between Ember and Miff and their conversations, this work's purpose is to explore how the burden of society’s greed and expectations brings about the downfall of the individual and of itself.

[deusinabsentiaa]

I was up all night with a raging migraine and guess who has a job interview today? 🥲 The company I'm interviewing at lets you reschedule your interviews, and I'm half tempted to reschedule it for tomorrow, but I already rescheduled my interview from last week to today. It's a giant company and everything about the job interview scheduling is automated, so it's not like anyone is noticing me rescheduling. I just feel bad for putting it off since I *need* a job, I hate it when my body betrays me like this 😞

[rottenlittlefink]

Not to sound like a 🤓 but algebra is pretty fun when you’re properly medicated 😵‍💫

[ananke-xiii]

S9E1 Castiel being freshly human, not understanding a thing of what's going on, fully aware that a.lot. of angels would very much like to kill him just.because meets a random angel on the street (Hael) and he's like: LET'S GO SEE THE GRAND CANYON TOGETHER, WOO-HOOO!

[sunnylolli]

any tips on how to build an academic brain? sometimes I am scared of studying because I feel like I wouldn't keep up😔

Oooo, anon- My best advice in regards to being nervous about not being able to keep up would probably be: Everyone works at their own pace.

Depending on your country and the way the school works, there is of course a curriculum and a certain order to do things, so by those standards, keeping up might come down to work ethic and motivation.

And I mean, on that front, university is a safe haven for me, because it's all something I'm interested in learning about, in some way. Danish University is built in the way that it's themed around the education that you want to work with- I attend VIA University College and I am studying Pedagogy, for example. And every class is centered within that subject, so motivation comes easier because I find it interesting!

We have a main class with people we'll be working together with and be able to talk to the entire 3-4 years, which is mighty nice, so building friendships is way easier and feeling like you have someone to talk to about struggles or hurdles in regards to the work is great!

I'm personally petrified with group assigments (My Pedagogic bachelor is set up so that everything, assignments and projects, is all group-based, which is a personal nightmare for me atm) and presentations, so I'm having a rough start, but aside from that - Choose something you're interested in studying and can see yourself working with. So that it'll make sense to you! An "Academic brain" varies, because, as I'm ironically studying and learning about as I'm writing this: Academic learning is entirely dependent on how studying and learning is defined for you. To me, studying and learning is associated with performance and ranking, which I'm trying to reassociate into being for interest and curiosity to learn more.

You're studying to learn, not to get graded, does that make sense?

And as for performance anxiety for presentations, for example, I've adopted the mindset:

"Everyone takes a shit sitting down."

[eusuntgratie]

Kris and Zucker 🔀

It's not right, but it's okay

Kris is wedged between Brian, who’s shifted closer with every beer, and Sid, who’s very pink and giggly and leaning heavily into his side when Geno sighs dramatically and mutters, “not again.”

Sid giggles a few times and then hiccups.

He watches Brian and Geno track someone’s movement towards their table before Geno gives up with an eyeroll and finishes his drink. Brian’s got a weird expression on his face he can’t quite read. Sid hiccups again. Rusty stares fixedly at the table.

“Oh. Jason. Great,” he hears Jars say before disappearing into the bar and then Jason’s at the end of their booth gesticulating wildly with a serious case of crazy eyes.

Rusty tries to escape but Geno refuses to move, grunting and shoving them both deeper into the booth.

“J-Jason! Hi, Jason!” Sid says, pawing at him.

“Hi, Sid,” he says with a huff. Jason says he hates Sid, but Sid’s really hard to hate.

He levels a glare at Kris. “You said you’d be home an hour ago.”

Brian shifts next to him, uncomfortable.

“Oh, we were just-”

“It’s fine,” Kris tells him. He looks back at Jason. “Sorry, babe. Just got caught up. You know how it is.”

Jason looks around the table, gaze lingering on Brian and on Sid, who is still mostly draped against Kris’s side.

“Yeah. I guess I do.” He turns to leave.

“Don’t be like that, baby!” Kris calls.

Geno looks at him like he’s the stupidest man alive.

“Break up with him. You’re terrible together.”

Kris can’t help but smile.

“Can’t. The sex is incredible.”

He pours Sid into Geno’s booth and heads after Jason, chased by a chorus of chirps and assaults on his character.

He finds Jason at the bar, but it’s easy enough to pull him away, then down the hallway in the back, then into the bathroom.

“You’re so jealous,” Kris murmurs in his ear when he’s got him pinned up against the bathroom stall. “But I think you like it. Showing up here and making a big fucking scene.”

“You’re such a bitch.”

“You’re crazy.”

“You like it.”

“Maybe.”

The boys all look at him with a mix of horror, disappointment, and fond amusement when they trail out of the bathroom, clothes slightly askew, hair a little sweaty, hickies littered over their chests and necks. But Jason beams like a cat who’s got the cream, and Kris can’t bring himself to regret it.

send me a ship and 🔀 and i'll shuffle my playlist and make an au

[silverislander]

forgot to mention but my therapist is literally encouraging me to get adhd testing :') she really did believe me and still does, and i'm not just losing it i (almost definitely) have A Disorder holy fuck

[mindfulldsliving]

From Beggar to Believer: A Journey of Redemption

I never realized that I had lived most of my life as a beggar and have since discovered I'm a believer in Christ. This transformation has been nothing short of miraculous. For years, I wandered through life feeling empty and unworthy,

Finding Sanity: Faith, Hope, and Joy in My Recovery Journey with Isaiah 40:1-2 Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,and cry to herthat her warfare is ended,that her iniquity is pardoned,that she has received from the Lord’s handdouble for all her sins.~Isaiah 40:1-2, ESV ~ Finding sanity amidst life’s chaos isn’t easy. Yet, as I reflect on my personal recovery…

[2024skin]

LOL because my grades dropped significantly once a violent man moved into my home and stayed down consistently the whole time I lived through violent & life threatening domestic disputes and then once the violence was over my grades went up almost immediately

[venuskind]

[tamacathers]

Day 10 - Finding My Personal Reason for My Pilgrimage - MidDay: October 7

In March of this year, I was suddenly ill with a worsening chest pain over my heart. I was so debilitated I needed a handicap placard and was trying to figure out how to get a wheelchair to take me from my car to the cardiologist’s office, when things finally eased up a bit.  I had knew something had been going on for a while; I’d had signs of heart failure for over a year, but all normal tests.…

[snonkerdoodledreams]

so there's this teacher at my school who i was kinda confused about.

this class is a performing arts class so it's already not like other classes. however, this specific class i took was designed for people in my grade level, so that the students can adjust to the new vibe and new rigor of the scene of that school.

and from the very first day, the teacher of this class was supportive. they asked for everyone's names and they knew the names of some students because they had taught them before when they were younger (they also teach at the feeder elementary schools). and then they got into how class worked. very nice, calm demeanor. there was just something about the way they interacted with everyone that showed that they had no bad intentions, and they genuinely wanted to support the students. they genuinely wanted to form a bond with them and be a trusted adult. they wanted their class to be a class where someone could relax and not be stressed about beforehand. overall a very different vibe than pretty much all of my other classes.

and then the next class period. same thing. same kindness. the same demeanor and manner of interacting that really solidified that this person, for whatever reason, wanted the students to thrive emotionally and be happy in their class. it definitely seemed that way to me because i have NEVER had a teacher that was like them. anyway this continues...and i am confused as FUCK.

because i am extremely confused as to why this person is so nice. why they are really kind to everyone and genuinely want to make sure they're okay and learn facts about their personal lives (which is very iffy for me). it's a kind of relationship that i would definitely not expect from a person of authority.

why the hell would you care about the well-being of the people you work with every day? (my parent has had me for 14 years and their way of showing they "care" about me is having oscillating emotions and overall actions/demeanor/manner of interacting that have made my life not a living hell, but definitely unusual and it has left scars on me i think) it's a professional environment; the only thing these people are going to be useful to you for is for executing the tasks that you give them. (why are you bothering with all this extra, let's-get-to-know-each-other-oh-goody shit?) and the question i really don't want to ask because it is coming from a source of deep shame is why do they almost seem like a parental/mentor figure?

it's like a fly to honey.

and then, i started to think about telling them. about my abusive home life. i really sort of did. and then i had to create this mind lecture for myself that i would give every time i entertained the notion.

teachers are mandated reporters where i live. which means if a student comes to them with a concern about something that could potentially be dangerous, they are legally required to report it. so if i told them about my abusive situation for example they would be legally required to report it.

and then what happens? CPS and cops and a bunch of shit gets involved. emotional and psychological abuse is the second hardest kind of abuse to prove in court. and my parent would just clean up their act and present a clean slate. and they would leave. and then it would be a living hell for me.

and besides, there are many many details about that life that i haven't even told people close to me. not my therapist, who i've told the most--some of these things are extremely shameful to me. i've been here so long now i don't even know what's abnormal anymore. it's just how it is. there's nothing to it.

and besides, a lot of my desi friends also have sort of the same issues as me. if not even fucking worse. at least my other parent is sane and they are the glue holding the family together. all my parent is is codependent and emotionally immature. meanwhile their parents hit them when they were young, are sexist, strict, and say many degrading things. i have it better. my better parent has also said that.

so i really don't need to tell this teacher. and besides. i have a theory that all of this "connecting" ass shit is just for this year. when we progress to the classes afterwards with that same teacher, i guess he'll still be all kind, but he won't be like "let's get to know each other" and all that. which is a small joy. and here is how i deduced this.

i went to back to school night. it's a discussion for teachers to parents about what happens in their classes. and this teacher told the parents that they wanted to foster a supportive environment for the students and has been checking in on us and is making sure that everyone is getting acclimatized to each other.

and i'm also in a club that this teacher runs, with students from these other (more advanced) performing arts classes and they definitely aren't as "let's foster connections"-ish as they are in my class. so i am very certain that at least some of this perplexing behavior will disappear next year. so all i have to do is stick it out.

however, i still get confused sometimes. why the hell does this person care? when my own parent didn't? why do i see this person as a mentor instead of someone in a professional environment and the connection shouldn't extend past the bounds of formal?