#Dragon: Yeah. Because he looks just like *you*

[loreandletters]

Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Chick-Fil-A

The King, L’landis Plebarin, hadn’t stopped speaking. He stands ramrod straight, a large, obnoxious sword at his hip. The land behind him unfolds like a tapestry, a beautiful window into a world of fantasy. In Peter’s home, birds would dot the sky; here, there are dragons. They’re on the balcony of this prestigious building, so the view is high up and unobstructed. There’s no skyscraper to break up the horizon, or a thick smog to block it. 

The building they’ve climbed the steps of reeks of a strange otherness, enshrouded in a beauty that Peter has only known to be in ancient cathedrals and grand eastern temples. It’s beautiful, really. He’s sure they brought him up here to tempt him with their wealth, their beauty and fantasy. What a real fucking shame this King and his servants only know how to spew filth. 

“- and crush our enemies, who threaten our world.” 

Yeah, Peter had stopped listening after ‘we will gift you with slaves to own and women to conquer.’  

A high collared servant of some sort stood smugly by the Kings side, a polite smile scrawled across his wrinkled face. His too long robe fell into a puddle onto the floor, spreading out like a puddle of piss, except it floated before it could touch the stones beneath their feet. He wore another dress underneath, covering his feet, and Peter thought if magic was used so thoughtlessly, they might not be as stupid as they sound. Damn. There goes his punch-and-run plan.

The King stood confidently, his aged face warm with invitation. What a crime, for such a conventionally attractive man to be this vile. “What do you say, hero?”

Peter smiled, because sadly, he wasn’t the one with a giant sword on his hip or magic at his fingertips. “Your enemies, the Demons, are they the only ones I have to fight?”

“I wish it were so.” A weary look overcame the King. “Our land is surrounded by enemies. To the west, lay the Lipkons, who vie after our riches. Should we defeat them, I’m sure their Queen will make a valuable concubine.”

“Queen Kelamine is a proud woman, unnatural through and through. Worry not though, pride makes for feisty bed warmers,” the servant remarked. Fury burns begins to warm his skin, and Peter thinks how satisfying it will be to smack this fucker.

“They are a Matriarchy, the fools, so naturally they will be the easiest to fell.” The King rubs his chin thoughtfully.

“Right.” Peter agrees in pure habit alone. Strangely, this feels like dealing with an old customer, one who begins spewing the most ridiculous shit completely unprompted. He employes his usual coping method: a flat smile, a nod, and a dash of a desperate hope that he’ll get through it without getting yelled at. Fuck, it’s so annoying. He’d just finished with this shit not an hour ago, getting off a stupidly long shift with a line that just wouldn’t end. Fuck this old man and fuck Chick-Fil-A. 

“And then to the east, the dirty Halflings have made a kingdom of their own.” The King laughs like its a joke.

“A rabble of bandits more like, liege,” the servant says, “they are nothing to worry about. Built out runaway slaves and illiterate bastards.”

“Yes, we have nothing to fear from them,” the King agrees, “the North is ours, thankfully. The Dukes in charge had rebelled some time ago, but we have reasserted our control. Their heir resides here with us, so hence, the Northern loyalty is secure. And of course, the South is rife with the Demon Empire. So, yes Hero, we are in desperate need of your help.”

“I understand.” Peter closes his eyes. He’s cold, only standing on this balcony in his thin, red uniform. He hadn’t even been able to walk through the door of his apartment before all this shit. Couldn’t get iskeaied into a nice place, could he? Or any of the other kingdoms? Couldn’t be the east, or the west, or even the Demons - he had to get the sexist slavers, smack dab in the middle of the continent. No chance to run, no place to go.  What the fuck is his life.  

“So, Hero, will you take this challenge?” The King sounds confident, as if there’s no world in wich Peter will say no.

Fuck you, let me go home bitch, Peter thinks viciously, resentment bubbling up because this never should have been his problem. This man doesn’t even see him as a hero, just pawn in a really fucked up game. Kinda like Kaden, the power tripping bastard that thought being a manager of a round down fast food restaurant was equal to being god. Kaden only bothered to start acting nice when an audit came about. Fuck the King, fuck Kaden, and fuck Chick-fil-A.

“You’re asking a lot of me.” Peter grits out as politely as he can. Damn it all, just let me go home.

“You are right, what we ask of you is tremendous. But, know this, you were not summoned at random,” reverence emboldens the King Plebarin’s words, and Peter has to shove down the urge to scratch his face off, big fancy sword or not. “You were brought here for your strength, inwards and outwards. You may not believe in yourself, but I believe I do. You will be the one to save us, Hero. I know it.”

Oh, I’ll do more than that. Peter nods, more to himself then the king. Resolve slowed his heart,  quieting its rabbiting pace. Save you? Ha! I’ll be a hero, alright, just not yours.

“Thank you, your Majesty,” Peter bowed, his righteous fury and determination filling his chest, “it’ll be my pleasure.”

the king has a large problem. The hero that was summoned thinks slavery is "a bad thing" and women "should have rights"

[toutallyahoe]

━ hebrews 9:22 ,, mouthwashing

requested by: –

pairing(s): curly x male reader

word count: 1856

warnings: canon spoilers, cursing, character death(s), attempted murder, murder, deaths oh my god so many deaths help, j*mmy (ew 🤮)

a/n: yeah, im surprised it aint porn too

"Indeed, under the law almost everything is purified with blood..."

Pained laboured breaths left what was once a hopeful man's lips. Well, hopeful was far from what he had become over the years, crippled by the trials and tribulations of what life had put onto him— yet he persevered despite the doubts that ate him whole. Curly persevered despite it all...

But does he still want that?

Laying in the Medical Room's bed without any control of his own body— burnt body— without feeling any sort of pain that he wished he would just die was difficult. Even breathing was difficult but he was forced to do so. Forced to endure. But Curly wanted to die. More than he had wished in the past... but he can't. Forced to lay in bed, feeling helpless as he watched his crew... his friends... descend into madness.

If he could cry, Curly would. The pain of his entire body doesn't hurt as much as the pain and guilt in his chest. Well, Curly thinks so. He doesn't know if the pain in his chest is the guilt of eating him or just the normal pain of being burnt alive to the point his skin is gone. But Curly still felt sick and hopeless. So despaired by it all. Because despite being forced to lay in bed and watch helplessly as everyone descended into madness, Curly knew it was his fault. And it eats him up.

Anya had already said her good bye after she locked herself in the Medical Room with him. Saying how despite everything he had done (or lack there of), she forgave him. Curly tried to talk, to reach out but all it came was garbled mess of croaks and pained wheezes as his throat hurts from the pain. Curly had to watch helplessly as she finally decided to escape the nightmare that came to the Tuplar crew of the Pony Express... to them.

The pain in his chest worsened as Curly could hear a pained screaming echoing throughout the room and it took a second for him to realize who the screamer was. But once Curly realized, his heart dropped as he wanted to cry more. Daisuke showed up in his peripheral vision, looking worse for wear since he had last seen the younger man. Curly wants to cry harder seeing Daisuke all bloodied and hurt, with so many cuts and gashes as Curly realized that in order for Daisuke to come inside the Medical Room despite Anya locking it, it was through the vents that were connected to the Utility Room. The same vents Curly knew was dangerous... fuck.

Curly had believed in the past he was a good captain. The crew in Tuplar sang his praises after all to the point Jimmy always mentions how annoying it was. Curly would have brushed it off like all the times but he knew deep inside he did feel a sense of fulfillment to be called that. A good captain. Because it made him feel like he was actually doing something worthwhile with his life.

But he doesn't believe that anymore.

How can he? Failing Anya despite the trust she placed on him to confess what his friend— what Jimmy had done to her? Where did she have to take things in her own hands? Failing Daisuke from Jimmy's manipulation that the poor young man is now crying from the pain of his injuries as well as he was screaming at Anya to wake up? Failing Swansea where he had to watch the older man lose himself to the little bits of alcohol in the Dragon's Breath mouthwash they were delivering? And worst yet... failing you as he watches the happy man descend into despair along with the crew.

Curly felt useless as he laid there motionless and despaired in bed. He can hear Swansea cursing out as he and Jimmy dragging out Daisuke who was moaning and groaning in pain. He didn't hear Anya anymore... will never hear her voice ever again.

It all was a blur. Time passed by so quickly... not that Curly knows how long it had been. The pain made it hard to focus on his surroundings but he saw someone standing in front of the medical bed. Curly let out a pained croak when he saw it was you. The one who used to be a picture image of a calm and collected crew member of his who had bright eyes that looked at him with love and respect looked frantic yet oh so tired as your dull eyes are red and puffy from crying, tear stains on your sunken cheeks. Lips quivering as you looked down at Curly. There was panic and mania in your eyes. Curly dreaded it.

"Let's rest now," You said, your tone shaky and raspy. You bite your bottom lip to stop your lips from quivering until you tasted blood that grounded you a little bit. "We can rest now, right?" You asked as tears brimmed your vision on what you were about to do. You looked at Curly and gave a smile. A smile that Curly knew was far from genuine. It didn't reach your eyes. Not the same sweet smile you would send him when you two would wake up early in the morning, in bed together. Far from the one Curly is used too. It looks despaired, haunting...

Curly tried to talk, to reach out. But just like Anya, he failed. Like he always does.

"!!!"

Curly wanted to cry when he felt your hands wrapped around his throat. He wheezes in pain as his body thrashes automatically when you squeezed. It hurts! It hurts— but let him die! There were salty tears falling down his bandaged cheek, stinging him as he could see you finally breakdown. Losing it all.

"We can go together! Everyone is gone so let's go together like you said!" You said as a deranged laugh left your lips. "Aren't we in this together, captain? We can rest!" You put more pressure down Curly's throat.

"Please, just stop suffering already!" You wailed as your entire body was shaking. You desperately tried to tune out Curly's pained noises and thrashing as you sobbed. You didn't want to do this— but you had too. No one else was going to put Curly out of his misery. No one is giving your poor captain mercy.

Anya already died, her rotting corpse was beside you, slumped over the floor. Daisuke had his head split open by an axe by Swansea. You were there to witness Swansea put down the young man. You already knew Swansea was dead somewhere around the ship. Especially when you had heard two loud gun shots rang out eerily inside the Tulpar— Jimmy was fucking insane! You knew that oh too well as you watched that monster descend to madness.

You knew you only had so little time to do what you needed to do. To finally put Curly out of his misery because you knew Jimmy wouldn't. You can accept whatever responsibility is left when Curly is gone. Whether Jimmy kills you with a gun or you having time to get the axe and kill Jimmy yourself... it'll be fine as long as you take Curly out of his misery first. Because Curly deserves it.

"Please wait for me," You cried as you looked at Curly through your tears. "I'll be close behind, okay?" You say as you smiled. The blood from your bruised bottom lip stuck to your teeth as you smiled. You look deranged but Curly could only admire you. He wanted this. He wanted to die— to have the suffering end already. Curly just wished it didn't have to be you to put him down knowing how much you loved him.

"I love you," Curly heard you sobbed as black spots formed in his vision. Curly already had trouble breathing after the crash but he can barely gasp for air, not with your hands on his throat, trying so hard to kill him. Slowly, Curly's body stopped thrashing, too weak as the black spots continued on to fill his vision. He can barely see your broken face now.

He was going to die. Curly was going to die... and that's fine.

Curly just hoped you won't suffer painfully before you both are reunited once again in the after life. Hah, when did he even believe in an after life? Curly lost hope of a god existing so many years ago. But if there was a god, Curly hoped they would be kind enough to let him see you again after this. To see the others too. But mostly... Curly just wants to see you—

Bang

Thud

Curly let out a painful gasp as his lungs burned while greedily took a lot of air to fill it back up. His throat hurts so much. If he could tear up, Curly knows he would with his one singular eye left from the pain. Everything hurts. Fuck. It hurts...

Wait.

Pain... was pain part of death? Living was painful and Curly thought death would be more welcoming. Curly would have thought it would be peaceful like when the air was deprived from his lungs as you strangled him. When Curly knew he was dying as his vision darkened. You— where were you? Why was Curly's head ringing so loudly? Was... was he still alive?

Why... why was he still alive?

Why?

Why?

Why?!?

Didn't you promise to take him out of his misery? Was it all a lie? But the pain— the pain in his throat was real! Curly swore it! Where were you? Where were you?!? What happened?!?

Curly found his answer when he saw a shadowy figure where you once stood. Where you should be. And seeing the face of the figure, Curly wanted to cry and scream. Wanted to yell until his throat was raw and burned. Curly wanted to thrash his burnt body and cry.

But he can't. Curly can't...

"It's okay, I saved you," Curly heard Jimmy say. Curly wanted to bitterly laugh at his words. Jimmy didn't save him. Far from it. Jimmy depraved him from his peace! What more can Jimmy take away from him?!? Where were you?!?

Curly could only let the man whom he used to call a friend carry him without much of a fight as he was tired and still processing what everything just happened, wondering where you should have been. Did you chicken out on killing him? Was your love for him too much to kill him? Then where were you then?

Curly looked at Jimmy with dull eyes as he was carried away from the Medical Room. You were nowhere in sight— until Curly saw you... dead on the ground with a puddle of blood around your head... no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO—

"Don't worry, Curly. I'll fix this..."

"And without the shedding of blood... there is no forgiveness of sin..."

[ashblooddragons]

My Heart, My Ruin (Chapter 2/?)

(sorry if this chapter is on the shorter side, I got back on a med I hadn't had in a while because my doctors weren't refilling it, and one of the side effects of this med is making me tired and fatigued. I honestly didn't even know if I would get chapter 8 of The Red Queen so I'm really sorry if this is short, or not written well or anywhere near as well as I try usually, I'm just trying to stay awake to get this out. sorry for the rant I'm gonna let you read now lol)

28 ac

Rhaellas Pov

I try not to fidget as Papa makes a speech, it's my sixth nameday which means I'm officially a big girl. 

“I warn you all, our little girl is a curious one. She will ask about the gift you have given her and want all the details. There is a reason we call her our curious dragon.” Papa says making all the lords laugh and making me blush and hide my face in my hands.

“So let us feast on this great day as we celebrate my sweet little girl, my firstborn, for her sixth nameday!” Papa finishes making everyone cheer as they take sips of their wine.

He bends down and kisses my forehead and whispers. “Happy nameday my curious dragon.” 

“Thank you, Papa.” I say making him smile before he and Mama walk down the steps of the high table to talk to some of the lords.

“When will you get to open your presents?” Rhaena asks picking at the food on her plate.

“Yeah, we're bored!” Aegon my little brother exclaims. He's only two but he's very smart, Mama calls him her little genius.

“I'm sure Papa or Grandsire will announce when I can open them.” I say grabbing Aegon's arm before he runs off. Have I mentioned he also never stops running! How he can run into a tree head first and laugh before running again is beyond me. I hope the baby in Mama's belly is a girl, I can't handle another brother.

“I want to see the dragons!” Aegon demands stomping his feet.

He always throws tantrums if he doesn't get his way so I try and find Mama or Papa in the crowd of lords and ladies.

“Don't speak to your sister that way boy.” I hear the deep and cold voice of Kepus. 

Aegon stops and turns to look up at him just when I do too. I know Kepus must be mad from the scowl on his face.

“I just wanted to say hi to Quicksilver.” Aegon says sheepishly already turning to hide in the shirts of my dress.

Kepus only hums before taking a sip of wine from his chalice. Thankfully for Aegon and Rhaena Papa and Mama seem to have had their nursemaids come to get them as it's time for them to go to sleep.

Once my siblings are taken away Kepus sits in the chair next to me that was previously taken by Rhaena.

“Happy nameday, ñuha prūmia. I got you something.” He says as he reaches into his jerkin pocket. He holds something in his fist holding it out to me. “Hold your hands out, ñuha prūmia.”

I do as he told me, holding my hands out under his. When he opens it I'm ready to catch something but nothing falls into my hands, but when I look at his hand I see he's dangling a beautiful necklace from his pointer finger. It has purple stones that appear almost like tear drops, and the metal looks like a darker silver. 

“Happy nameday, ñuha prūmia.”

“It's wonderful, where did you get it?” I ask, reaching out to feel the cool metal against the skin of my palms.

“It was in our family archives, supposedly it was Daenys the Dreamers. It's made of Valyrian steel and is encrusted with amethysts. Daenys was always said to love amethysts.” He says with a soft smile.

“Daenys? she wore this?” I ask excitedly, he knows how much I adore Daenys the Dreamer. I've probably made him read me the story of her more than a hundred times by now.

“That's what the Maester said, now turn around let me help put it on you.” He says in that tone that I know means he's not asking, he's telling. 

So I do as he says turning in my seat so my back is to him and grab my curly hair hoping I got it all. I feel the chill of the metal against my throat as I feel Kepus clip it. 

“There, now let me see.” I hear him say as he gently takes my hair out of my hands so it can fall down my back once more

I turn and look up at him watching as he smiles fondly. “Lovely, it matches your dress wonderfully, but it matches those eyes much better.” 

I smile touching the pink velvet dress Mama gave me for my Nameday. It has gold dragon embroidered along the skirt and at the neckline. But for some reason his words about my eyes is what makes me blush. But my joy is soon cut off my none other than Ceryse Hightower.

“I see you've given her the present you chose.” She says resting her hand on Kepus's shoulder. 

I watch as he tense something dark, something cruel flashes in his eyes before they become the stoney ones he lets the world see. 

I like the ones he has with me much better. I think before turning to his wife.

“Yes, it's a wonderful gift.” I say trying to stay kind even though I don't like her.

I never knew why I didn't like her, she's kind, gentle, sweet, but she's so boring. Her idea of fun is sitting and sewing, my idea of fun is running in the fields or flying with Papa or Grandsire. 

“That's wonderful, I'm glad you like it. Maegor worked very hard to find it. Had to be the perfect one, he said.” She says smiling at Kepus but he only seems to be getting more and more upset.

Cersye seems to catch the tense atmosphere and hands me a black leather journal with red ribbon to tie it. It seems to be imprinted with the Targaryen symbol on the front and back.

“As you are six namedays you'll start your studies with a Septa. I found having a journal helped me to remember my lessons and to take notes. I hope it helps you as much as having one helped me.” 

I can't deny that it's a thoughtful gift, and one she seems to have commissioned just for me. She obviously didn't just pick this up at some random book store in a rush. I think, feeling the soft leather against my palms.

“Thank you, it's a lovely gift. I'm sure it will get much use.” I say setting it back on the table. 

I'm about to ask if Kepus will dance with me when I hear the music start but his wife beats me to it.

“Dance with me, darling? You know this is my favorite.” She asks, already pulling him out of his chair.

I watch as he walks away with her to dance, I don't know why it hurts my heart seeing him with her, but it does. I hear a dragon roar from outside, it gives a pull at my soul like always.

“Come to me! I'm waiting!” it's starting to sound desperate, if only I could find out where it is. No, where she is.

This is the necklace Maegor gies Rhaella, or at least what I see lol

Special thanks to @sugutoad for making the header for this fic! I swear I'd be lost without you girly!

TAGLIST @sugutoad @ilikefelines @sachaa-ff @classicsimpforaaronwarner @mmogurl

[jujus-bizarre-blog]

SOC and CK allegories for the queer characters (and other thoughts)

I was going to make a separate blog to yell about books but I decided to do it here.

I AM NOT DONE CROOKED KINGDOM AT THE TIME OF WRITING THIS SO EVERYTHING I SAY IS HAVING ONLY READ HALF THE BOOK SO FAR.

The Grishaverse doesn't seem to have any form of homophobia, but SOC and CK are chalk fulllllllll of what I can only see as plots that mimic queer experiences for the queer characters in the main group.

We have four queer characters (that I know of at the moment): Jesper, Wylan, Nina, Kuwei.

So let's start with the obvious, three of the four are Grisha. Obviously not all Grisha are queer, but all the Grisha in the party are. This gives them an automatic plotline of "hide who you are".

It could be said that since Nina is Ravkan she wasn't raised that way, and no, she wasn't. However since leaving Ravka she has been forced to hide for her safety, and not only that but she is frequently told she's "too much" which sounds a lot to me like what some people say about queer people when they think queer people should be less queer. Also Matthias is all about being "traditional" and "proper" and Nina's whole thing is that she is neither. Traditional and proper sound a lottttt like some people's arguments to be homophobic.

Jesper's I think is rather obvious. His father has a clear concern for his son being Grisha since it can put your life at risk. In Jesper's argument with his dad he goes off and asks his dad why did he never let him go to Ravka where he could be himself and learn about himself and his powers. Oh not to mention the fact that him and his dad talk around him being Grisha like it's some sort of virus that can be caught by simply speaking the word.

Kuwei's took a second to hit me but when it did I was like "ah yep, makes sense" and this is probably because it took me a hot second to realize Kuwei was queer. Yeah, apparently him being jealous that Jesper only looked at Wylan a certain way didn't tip me off... ANYWAY THOUGH. Kuwei is also told to hide who he is, but his dad goes the extra length of literally making a drug to help him hide himself. Is it giving anyone else Dorian's dad from Dragon Age vibes??? Blood magic for the gay son???

FINALLY, I will talk about my baby, the character I love more than anything else. Wylan. Here's the thing about Wylan, while I was reading SOC I wasn't sure if homophobia existed in this world yet and I was half convinced that his dad disowned him because gay. While his dad obviously didn't do that, I still think at the end of the day it portrays an experience that is very similar. Wylan is shamed, hidden, and ultimately his dad tries to have him killed, all because he can't read. His dad loathes him over such a stupid reason, especially since Wylan is absolutely brilliant at tons of stuff and the cutest lil guy. But I think it's that hatred of his son over something so trivial that really lends itself to being about something else entirely, Wylan being queer.

All four of our queer characters in the main group have different plots, but ultimately they all circle around the idea of hiding who you are and being ashamed of who you are. That sounds like a very common queer experience if you ask me.

I don't know if this was intentional or just a huge coincidence. As a writer myself I am all too aware of how easily accidental metaphors and symbols can happen. But I think about it a lot as I'm reading so I wanted to shout about it either way. I also have no clue if this is a common idea or not, I just know when I pointed it out to my friends who had read the books prior, one of who loves and reads them yearly, they both kinda went "oh damn, you right," but didn't see it before I mentioned it.

Anyway, if I missed things (or you wanna yell at me about how wrong I am, which is usually the more likely option) I'd love to know thoughts :)

AND BONUS THOUGHTS

This one is super obvious but I just wanna say it. Jesper is ADHD and no one will change my mind in the history of ever. This man cannot sit still, has been described as having limitless energy, and he seeks constant immediate gratification in the form of gambling and adrenalin rushes. COME ON MAN. I know I know, there's a lore reason, something something Grisha not using magic blah blah. No. No. He is ADHD and you cannot tell me otherwise. And I love him dearly.

Also, not a theory or anything but, y'all, I love Wylan so much. I just wanna give him a hug and a lollipop and tell him it's okay. He's so cute.

[amoebab22]

I completely agree with this. I feel like this is one of the worst parts about Veilguard. My Inky is in the South, and while I firmly believe Orlais is the devil, it's very weird that Tevinter is just super chill about my elf Rook when my elf Inky had constant micro-aggressions as well as just out and out slurs hurled at her. Also I'm going on a rant about Mythal.

SPOILERS BELOW

Bellara also seems to just...kind of ignore that I'm an elf? Davrin makes more sense. He left his clan and joined the Wardens because he just didn't really vibe with the Dalish. He'd think of himself as a Warden first, I think. Wardens don't seem to give much of a shit about your race or religion or sexuality or whatever. In The Calling, they canonically don't give a fuck about the gay couple in their little group, or that Fiona is a mage and an elf. Absolutely irrelevant. So Davrin could start to fall into that mindset because frankly, it's a nice way to live. It's just not real outside the Wardens.

So when Bellara is like oh my god our gods are evil and Davrin is like eh, fuck 'em, that's actually about the most realistic reaction we've got re: elves. Davrin is just out here like yo I'm a little busy saving the world fuck them gods. Love Davrin.

Also, in Inquisition, there's concern that knowing Corypheus's artifact is Elvhen will cause violence against elves. So knowing it's the Elvhen gods causing all of this? The consequences of that, even if an elf Rook saves the world, should be looming for a Shadow Dragon in particular. Clearly Inquisitor Ameridan's race did nothing for the elves of Orlais. It was covered up over time. His sacrifice meant nothing to the humans. This should make Solas's plans to restore the elves much, much more tempting.

The way the Crows were presented REALLY bothered me as well as someone who romanced Zev. The Crows *tortured* him, sexually assaulted him, made him feel worthless, because it was seen as necessary. Sure, Lucanis being blood family might give him a very different perspective and experience, but Jacobus is just allowed to be a Crow and start his own house when he wouldn't kill? I mean, I totally agree that prolonged, public shaming and imprisonment is worse for this individual, but like.... That's not how the Crows work. They kill stuff for money. Sure, they run Antiva and would be pretty pissed off about the Antaam taking their territory I'm sure, and they might work with Rook since Rook helped Lucanis and he's a big deal to the First Talon. But like... It should be a hard choice to work with them for Shadow Dragon Rook, because SLAVERY.

I feel like the pullback on slavery is to make Solas's actions seem more ambiguous, and to make it seem like there was some equal power between him and Mythal. But I have a very hard time believing he was never Mythal's slave. Also, a spirit of BENEVOLENCE? Get ABSOLUTELY fucked. She was fine with SLAVERY. Thought she could just slowly phase it out, maybe. Yeah, no .

Because here's the thing: slavery is evil. Whatever you have to do to stop slavery, short of participating or killing slaves, is pretty easy to justify. Maybe I'm just John Brown-pilled from living in Kansas a good chunk of my life, but killing slavers and slave owners and freeing slaves is MORALLY CORRECT. FULL STOP. A "kind" master is still a master. Sure, you can give them a chance to free their slaves and make reparations first, but waiting to vote slavery out didn't work. The US had to go to war. Haiti had to rebel (and give basically all its GDP to France for like two hundred years. Fuck Orlais AND France).

The only reason my Inky was able to befriend Dorian, at first, was their shared trauma in going to the future. That changes people (that whole quest fucked me up the first time I did it) and I think my elf Inky was looking for reasons to trust Dorian and ignore the system he participated in. She didn't have to see it so it seemed less real. He's an altus so he doesn't own the estate. He seems open to other opinions! And some part of him knows it's wrong, or he wouldn't be so awkward upon talking to Inky the first time.

But Solas's inherent and never fully overcome distrust of Dorian isn't wrong. Solas needs to see action; words aren't enough. I don't blame him.

This is the same softening we saw of the Templars in DA2 and Inquisition, but if you read The Stolen Throne and The Calling and play DAO, it's very clear that mages are oppressed by the Chantry and live in horrible conditions. The ones in Lake Calenhad are described as pale and kinda sickly looking (or something like that) because they don't get any fucking sunlight. Fiona is happy to go to the circle at first because she was a SLAVE in Orlais (Honestly Loghain's hatred of Orlais is justified even though his actions aren't). If you decide to allow the right of annulment or whatever in DAO, Zevran calls it genocide. Zevran isn't one to mince words. He doesn't pretend he isn't a killer or that he wasn't tortured.

My Inky and my Rook are both 'no gods no masters' types, which is why I think clan Lavellan sent their First on a risky mission supposedly by herself (got real sick of her shit lol). As a result, she heavily sympathizes with Solas's cause, and would have happily joined him in bringing down the Veil if he'd just agreed to spend time making sure as few people died as possible, particularly after she meets the Avvar and sees how spirits really are. She knows Solas better than anyone, and even without a full explanation, she'd know that his reasons for doing this were morally right. He freed her people. He never meant to hurt them. He can't live with his guilt. Inky (who in my game was more like 30 because I don't think she could have made decisions or led on her own at 20, nor would she have been a studied enough mage) wants freedom for everyone. She's chaotic good.

Rook is a Shadow Dragon who killed slavers a little too hard for an organization dedicated to killing slavers (based Rook). They're also chaotic good, and a bit of an idiot, bless them, who kinda sees everything as a nail because they have a hammer. They see slavery, they fight it. Fuck the consequences. Solas did the same.

So why is Rook not bringing up slavery a lot? Why is Rook only finding out that Solas freed slaves on the regular at the beginning of the game? Did Varric just decide that wasn't worth bringing up to a person whose entire life revolves around ending slavery? Why is Rook not having an existential crisis after talking to Solas and finding out the truth of his past in his memories?

Look, all I'm saying is that I don't understand why more people aren't angry with Mythal and why no one is talking about slavery and racism. The whole point of fantasy and sci-fi, and the point of Dragon Age, is to critique modern society through thinly veiled references. That's why people get so passionate about Star Trek. And yeah, yes, it's necessarily going to make a piece of media more niche, or people are going to bitch about it (especially gamer bros my dude calm down, sorry something is very briefly not about you), but it makes a game *good* and lasting

BG3 did a good job of exploring the themes of trauma and power imbalance, and while some characters I think needed more fleshing out (Wyll my beloved, I owe you a lengthy fanfic for the injustice done to you), it was particularly powerful in Astarion. The people are ready for real exploration of real issues. We always have been. Backing off was a mistake.

ANYWAY I have feelings and none of my friends share my special interest. Here you go.

Why Fenris could Never Cameo in Dragon Age: The Veilguard

In the run up to Dragon age: The Veilguard, I was almost certain that Fenris would be our main legacy character from previous games. Not only has he been central in the comics released between DAI and DATV, he is an escaped Tevinter slave who's plot revolved around magisters, magic and the structural prejudices surrounding elves in Thedas. Not only that, but he's canonically in Tevinter killing slavers currently so he's geographically in the right place for us to meet him.

About halfway through the game though, it was clear to me: Fenris could never cameo in The Veilguard. Because he'd break it.

How the Veilguard treats Thedas is...odd to me, to say the least. I will be writing another post about how much I adored the expanded big lore in this game (the titans, ancient elves were spirits, where the blight came from etc.) and yet while these large lore expansions worked for me, the actual culture of modern Thedas is entirely softened, its sharp edges filed down until it's a sanitised fantasy world devoid of what made the franchise so vibrant and compelling in the first place.

So let's start with Fenris and slavery. In all three games, the reality of slavery is pushing at the corners of the world. In DAO Loghain allows Tevinter Magisters to enslave elves in order to raise money for his war effort. In DA2 Fenris is fighting to be free from slavers who will not leave him be, let alone the reminders that the city was built by slaves which are everywhere. In DAI one of the two possible mini-bosses is Calpurnia who was a slave, and characters such as Gatt and Dorian both show us how much slavery is tied into Tevinters culture and success.

But DATV the first game actually set in Tevinter where we get to see the famed Minrathous...it's like the game purposefully wants to avoid the issue. I can feel it tilting the camera away to not allow me to see. Slavery is mentioned, but never talked about in depth or as a specifically ELVEN problem in Tevinter. This might have been done to be less problematic, it feels ignored.

We are in DOCK TOWN. We are at the DOCKS. You would think that slaves from all over Thedas who are being smuggled and bought by various groups would be everywhere. You would think that the injustice in dock town would be partly built on the back of ships we've seen in the comics crammed with elves in chains. This is the world Dragon age set up for us. And yet...nothing. zilch. A tiny easily skippable side quest where we free a couple of venatori slaves, but only one of whom is an elf.

None of our Tevinter characters seem to have been influenced by their culture even a little bit when it comes to how they view elves; there is no moment when Neve fucks up and says something prejudiced, no moment when Bellara or Davrin are distrustful of her for being a Tevinter mage.

The same goes for Zevran; a character who epitomised the issues with the crows. The crows have consistently been characterised as very morally dubious assassins who kill for the highest bidder and who buy children on the slave market and torture them as they grow in order to assure that they reach maturity able to withstand torture without giving away a client's name. Zevran is very explicit about the fact that if you fail a contract your life is forefit.

Nobody responds particularly to you if you're an elf. Nobody trusts rook less for it in Tevinter. Nobody treats Rook any differently. Even DAI had better mechanics for this; with nobles in Orlais less likely to trust you as an elf.

Considering one of the main plot points of this game and what makes Solas sympathetic is the fact that he was fighting against the slavery of ancient elves...you'd think the game might want to mirror that in modern Thedas. It might want to show us how characters fighting to end slavery in Tevinter are similar to Solas and how the society Solas fought against was similar to the one that characters we love such as Fenris have fought against in modern Thedas. Maybe we'd want to explore how in a world of slavery like this, how could the answer NOT be to tear it all down? Maybe we should have that option at the end of the game so it really can chose whether we agree with Solas and his plans or not.

Adding Fenris to this game would entirely break the game because Fenris refuses to allow you to look away from this horror. He is a sympathetic character who had to learn to trust mages again because of course he didn't trust them. Of course he didn't. Fenris wouldn't allow the camera to shift focus because he's literally covered in the lyrium scars that show how slaves are used as experiments in Tevinter. Fenris WOULD question Neve on how she feels about elves and slaves. Fenris WOULD have things to say about Lucanis and the crows (let alone the fact Lucanis is an abomonation). So he could never be in this game; he'd drop a bomb on it's carefully constructed blinders to the very society its supposed to be set in.

And yet, in DATV, the crows are presented as...a found family of misfits and orphans? The politician who opposes the crows having absolute power in Antiva is framed as a comically evil idiot who doesn't understand that the crows are ontologically good. Yet...they're NOT. Crows in this game act more like a secret rebel group than an assassin organisation. We see no crow taking contracts with the VERY RICH venatori magisters despite being hired killers. We see crows just refuse to kill people despite having a contract because 'its crueler to leave them alive'. The crows don't feel like the crows here, they feel like a softened version of a cool assassin group who are cool because they wear black and purple.

Our pirate group are also sanitised; the Lords of Fortune are good pirates who only steal treasure that's not culturally significant. Theyve clearly read the modern critiques of the British Museum and have decided to explicitly stop anyone levelling similar critiques at them. There is no faction of the Lords of Fortune who aren't like this, no internal arguments about it. Everyone just. Agrees. And is able to accurately tell what a cultural artifact is vs. what treasure that you can have yourself is. Rather than showing us why a pirate stealing cultural artifacts might be bad (like in da2 where such a situation literally causes a coup and a war) it just tells us it's bad. But also pirates are cool so we still want them in our world.

This issue seaps into Thedas and drains it of any of the interesting complexity and ability to SAY anything that this franchise had before this game. It becomes a game about telling and not showing rather than the other way around. The games have ALWAYS asked questions about oppressive structural systems and their interplay with society, religion and culture and how these things can affect even the most well meaning character. Dragon age at its best IS a game about society and how society functions both for and against it's characters and what happens to societies built on cruelty and indifference. The best bad guys dragon age has given us are those who are bad because they embody these systems or have been shaped by them. Our main characters have had to wrestle with questions surrounding how to exist in these systems, fight against them, learn and grow.

Yet every group you come across in DATV is sanitised and cleaned up to the point of being as non problematic as humanly possible. None of our cast of characters have to wrestle with where they came from or the world that shaped them. None of them have to confront their own biases. They start the game perfectly non-problematic and end it that way too.

And this just...isn't what Dragon Age has been in the past. It isn't why I love the franchise. The whole game just felt, in a way, hollow. And this was a CHOICE and it is why the legacy characters are few and far between. Too many dragon age characters are just too...angry and complex for this game. You can feel them pulling their punches on this one. I have to imagine they did this because they didn't want to be criticised or have too much controversy? But I think it honestly goes far too much in the other direction and just makes it bland.

I can't imagine what I say here will be unique, but it is the basis for a LOT of my other thoughts on this game so I wanted to get it out of the way first. The softened Thedas and characters make this game by far the weakest in the franchise.

[hannaxjo]

My biggest concerns on the live action is how they’ll be able to portray Toothless’ and Hiccup’s relationship. Since that’s kinda the main point in the movie, if they screw that up then that’s that. Unfortunately for them, it’s really easy to screw up (…even when looking at the sequels). The main thing with that relationship is that it’s equal. I think the easiest way to screw them up, is by approaching it as a human and an animal forming a bond. It doesn’t work like that, because as characters, Toothless and Hiccup are equal. It honestly should be approached as a person and a person forming a bond. Because for all the purposes of the story, Toothless is a person. He understands Hiccup, just as Hiccup understands him. And the reason why their bond becomes so strong - stronger than between any other characters, dragon or human - is because they are so similar. The reason why Toothless didn’t kill Hiccup is the same reason why Hiccup didn’t kill Toothless. Because he could see he was just as terrified as him.

So the story should be approached as two characters from opposing sides, neither of whom fit in with their kind. And then they find each other, and finally someone understands them. And this bond is what brings the opposing sides together.

I’m not gonna lie, I don’t have much faith for the live action, but I do hope I’ll be proven wrong. The way to do that, is for the live action to show me that the change of medium can bring something else to the story. Because the thing about How To Train Your Dragon is, that I think it’s a perfect example of a perfect medium having been picked for a story. Those flying scenes where you feel like you’re flying with the characters wouldn’t have been possible with 2D. And in live action, the bond between Hiccup and Toothless wouldn’t have felt real, because they clearly don’t exist in the same world. 3D animation is the perfect mix of realism and non-realism, for a magical fairytale such as this to exist in.

That’s another thing I’m worried about. How they’ll be able to convince the audience of the relationship between Toothless and Hiccup when one of them is animated and the other isn’t. But that’s to be seen.

But they do need to do something with the story to show that the change in medium was worth it. A shot for shot recreation is just gonna a give a shittier version of the original. But I think there are ways they could manage. They could focus on the contrast between the joyful and the colorful with the more terrifying aspects of the story. To make them compliment each other. Because the dragons, especially Toothless, are scary. Like, there’s a reason why the Nightfury is so feared. That’s an aspect I wish they’d hone on. How terrifying Toothless can be. I mean think about the end battle. All that they threw at that thing, and it barely reacted. And then compare that to just one blast from Toothless. And the way they won, was by using Toothless’ skills against it. Silent, out of sight, and never misses. The only reason the Vikings managed to capture Toothless, is because Hiccup asked him not to hurt his dad.

So if they really use the live action medium, to bring out how terrifying dragons, especially Toothless are, then they’ll be able to showcase just how batshit insane Hiccup is for everything he does. And just how special their bond is.

And in turn, I think it would be great if they did the same for the Vikings. Make them scary, and show the audience why the dragons would fear them.

But yeah. We’ll see. It’s not Disney, so maybe I can have like an ounce more hope, but honestly…ehhh. I really don’t have a lot of faith. I don’t think the live action is necessary, I don’t think they’ll be able to use it to change or enhance anything. But, like I said, I do hope I’ll be proven wrong.

[vaguely-concerned]

lucanis truly has a near terminal case of burned out golden child syndrome. caterina fucked both of these kids over so incredibly bad with the dynamic she enforced there, with illario being labled the perpetual fuckup kid where lucanis 'could do no (would never be allowed to do) wrong'. the way he admits in the first coffee date scene that the only thing that happened when he showed he could carry the weight of expectation was that more weight was added makes me so sad. you can hear it in caterina's voice in his intro mission that she's incredibly proud of him, but this is clearly a leandra and hawke situation where that pride never translates into relief or resolution or unconditional warmth or understanding or anything that really helps.

[s4ndg3m]

@comvi would be careful because he might......

GET YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dont worry its all jokes. it wont use teeth just gum on your arm. since ur dragon he wont take it from u... yet.... hehehekekekekeeeee..!!

[moongothic]

While I do believe it's likely the reason Dragon never contacted Croc after The Divorce was because things didn't go As Intended (/shit just went Bad) (or they kept their distance for security reasons, not wanting to risk being found out etc)

There is that Funny Alternative that the reason Dragon never contacted Crocodile and warned him about their son having become a pirate with a bounty and having entered the Grand Line, was because Dragon just assumed Crocodile would be able to recognize Luffy right away because "they're so similar" and that it'd be "a nice surprise" if they ran into each other

[alongtidesoflight]

so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.

full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.

oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.

i'm starting off with the things i liked

the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.

combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less

the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.

your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.

the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.

speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.

bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.

varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.

the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).

rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.

and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately

the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.

tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???

there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.

i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.

that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.

for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol

in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.

the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.

this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.

when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.

morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.

dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.

on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.

really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.

for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.

rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.

speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.

the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything

[moeblob]

Rey, who is in my very biased opinion, one of the funniest "girls" I have because she's just a guy, truly. Like Rey is just short for Reynold because he was recruited by a a goddess to help the hero she selected and the hero is conveniently Reynold's younger brother. So he agrees to help under the condition that the goddess gives him a female body for the other world. She's like "really odd flex but whatever" and gives him a female form and he's like "you know. I can't really blame anyone but myself for not specifying 'please don't turn me into a Lisa Frank personification'."

[edwinisms]

I know how it sounds at first, but I really gotta feel bad for the boys that sacrificed edwin; I mean even the term “sacrificed edwin” paints them in a more sinister light than they really deserve– considering that wasn’t really, actually their intention.

they were bullies, they were homophobic (and/or were self loathing gay boys themselves taking it out on edwin, or were equally likely peer pressured into acting a certain way), they planned something stupid and mean to do to an innocent, anxious boy with the goal of scaring the shit out of him, all because he was effeminate and an easy target. but they didn’t know or expect any of the ritual stuff to be real. they were all laughing and joking during the ritual because it was just that to them– a joke. a cruel joke, but a joke.

teenagers can be mean and stupid and they usually regret it as adults and grow out of it / grow from it. they were stifled the chance to grow out of it, at least while alive. none of those boys deserved to be instakilled and sent to hell; they’re really not that much less deserving than edwin himself. they were all just kids, after all.

[mourn-and-watch]

one thing that especially irks me about cullen's so-called redemption is the attempts to redeem him through cole's words.

templars' abuses affected cole so badly it damaged his connection to the fade and his own nature. he was a spirit of compassion and witnessing what was happening in white spire turned him into a killer. he murdered lord seeker lambert in cold blood for what he did and most of the time he doesn't regret it — and then he just. drops the "he's not like the other girls" lines about cullen.

and this is such a lazy and annoying move. another thing that is established about cole is that you particularly can't lie to him — about your real feelings and intentions at least. whatever he states about other characters must be true and it is often used as a tool to deepen the characterizations of the main cast and in cullen's case it is just. blatant apologism. there's literally a banter where cole talks about atrocities commited by the templars and then he adds "oh no but cassandra and cullen aren't like that" and never elaborates. the game itself doesn't elaborate either.

like please don't tell me that the spirit who was shaken by knowledge that an innocent boy can die from starving because his jailors simply forgot about him would look in the eyes of a person who used to be meredith fucking stannard's right hand and still thinks that her methods were just a little too harsh but necessary and justified and say yeah. this guy is such a friend of mages. if only there were more templars like him

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s5 episode 5 thoughts

it’s been a few days. and you KNOW what i’m craving!!! 

ohhhh this episode… so i’ve heard about this one before. specifically it was brought up a lot when i voiced my complaints with small potatoes, with a lot of commenters comparing it to this episode. so that doesn’t fill me with a sense of joy and anticipation.

well, i had a nice day. the only way out is through. let’s see if this makes me as mad as small potatoes, shall we?

(author's note: i have many, many questions. i mean i can tell that this was an homage to old spooky movies but beyond that: huh?)

why now in the series? who came up with this? why do multiple episodes explore the concept of forced impregnation as something silly and harmless? why did the agents look so good in black and white? have they danced together before? do you believe in life after love?

let us take it from the top.

we begin with a comic book, it seems? inside is a black and white scene. is this whole episode in black and white? i looked at the image for the episode and it was black and white, too

this guy izzy is trying to go to a comic book convention, but his mom said she’ll kick him out. damn. being a nerd is hard. is this taking place in the distant past or something? well, the cars look older too.

(it was not taking place in the distant past... also, i thought izzy's mom, mrs. berkowitz, was mean at first because she joked about kicking him out, but she was actually the best character in this episode) 

later that night we see their home, including a photo of izzy with a pig, but she’s watching jerry springer. which seems anachronistic to the black and white setting. it’s an episode about a hairy baby. while the windows are being covered up with a sort of striped tent??? and something is smoking. 

enter cher???? no, enter someone else as cher plays. i do like when they put music in the episodes.

mom is coughing while a man with two faces comes to get her???

i mean, okay, the song slaps. i am unfamiliar with the work of cher and i was jamming out to it, even if i had no idea what was really going on except that maybe izzy made a frankenstein dupe in a comic, and it somehow came to life and hurt his mom. sure. why not?

the intro was shortened... you still can’t fool me.

the whole episode is in black and white????

OH GOD. this lady felt a presence in the room, woke up three days later and was pregnant??? with izzy??? 

so frankenstein is the father????? and it happened again??? and she heard cher when it went down??? man. man what.

scully is reading this letter… LMAO mulder was mentioned on the jerry springer show episode about the wolf baby, which is how she found him <- BAHAHA this cannot be good for his covert work!!!! 

her name is mrs. berkowitz and she is pouring our agents a soda as they enter her home. it is very kind to offer them caffeine as they rely so heavily upon it. and she wants to know about the wolf baby. it feels very weird to hear mulder do the medical talking.

WHAT THE HELL??? she is somehow pregnant again despite having a tubal ligation…. hey what. how is she not losing her mind? scully looks utterly gagged. 

the camera work here is so different, there are these intense closeups on the character with a sort of fisheye effect, it's both off-putting and cool

mrs. berkowitz says mulder knows what is happening, but he says he’s not even sure if he believes in aliens anymore??? he has to be lying. or does he actually believe that everything was faked as put forth by the redux trilogy? i thought he saw through that when he told CSM to go fuck off. also, i KNOW he is not dead.

sorry, but scully looks so good in black and white and a pinstriped suit. ohhhh my god.

anyway, scully says hmm, your description of the intruder is funny... because it MATCHES THIS COMIC BOOK CHARACTER FROM IZZY’S ROOM!!

izzy created that comic book character… so the plot is thickening??? 

enter izzy. we must confront him with this fact. he says that he’s seen “the great mutato” too, and that plenty of people have!! is he hanging in the neighborhood?? doing evil activities??? he's like, a real guy? and not some mysterious intruder???

cut to izzy outside with a peanut butter sandwich, luring in the beast

“i think what we’re seeing here is an example of a culture for whom daytime talk shows and tabloid headlines have become a reality against which they measure their lives- a culture so… so obsessed by the media and a chance for self-dramatization that they’ll do anything in order to gain a spotlight” (twirling my hair... kicking my feet a little... hey scully...)

“i am alarmed that you would reduce these people to a cultural stereotype” <- YEAH YOU TELL HER MULDER ‼️

they’re fighting about if this is possible or not and frankly i think they should just kiss about it 

(about the rumors, he says:) “but nonetheless unverifiable, and therefore true in the sense that they’re believed to be true” hey. when they talk all academic?? i'm swooning.

and they’re soooo close as they're fighting over all of this <3

“is there anything that you don’t believe in, mulder?” <- i was really looking forward to hearing him answer that, but no!! a distant moaning cut him off!!

scully….. oh my god…….. nothing to note here in terms of plot, she’s just pretty

the great mutato EMERGES for his sandwich!! and mulder is in trackstar mode absolutely SPRINTING, coat billowing behind him as thunder crackles and his long long legs carry him into the woods. and scully is fast too, but he is so much faster it’s actually funny. that man was made to run. absolute horse DNA

oooooo spoooooky, mulder is running after the great mutato into the woods with scully not too far behind, and they can’t find him!!

BAHAHA the old school movie effects are kinda endearing. mulder pointing “there!” and then a dramatic crash of thunder revealing a silhouette… yeah, i giggled 

i’m not well versed enough in old movies to understand all of these references, but i bet they had the horror girlies losing their minds 

but it’s just some guy walking a pig?? telling them to gtfo. well!

guy with pig sends them to his son???? who i later learned is named dr. pollidori. and who has a newspaper article about some experiment he did. this guy is looking like a stereotypical mad scientist. “my father is a simpleton farmer. he understands nothing of my scientific achievements” <- okay nerd, let’s not get in a science-off with dr. scully… also, let's not be mean to your dad!!

this mad scientist dr. pollidori says he is going to remembered for his incredible discovery of the “homeotic hox gene” and i hope he is taken down by scully. i hope she disproves every single thing he says. and then spits on him. fuck this guy for real.

i paused to write that down and she’s smiling at mulder behind this evil doctor’s shoulders :,)

mad scientist dr. pollidori tries to pull the whole “oh, let’s have scully explain my incredibly advanced research” card, further proving his evil tendencies, and she says it has something to do with growth. which is more than i could say.

he says he has to leave to go to an important international talk and she hits him with “sir, unless you want your scientific achievements to end up as a footnote on the jerry springer show, i suggest that you make the time” <- DAMN, GET HIM AGAIN FOR ME!!! i love when she puts people in their place.

i love this sort of "fishbowl/actors looking right into the camera" angle, because they look so cool standing like that. and i want to draw them like this, but i can’t draw. so i will just admire them instead. yeahhhh. they look cool as hell.

so it seems that what this mad scientist fellow dr. pollidori does is torture fruit flies and act mysterious? while thunder crashes about. kind of a sick gig aside, from the fly torture, but i could be mysterious and be way nicer. i could be a friendly mad scientist. i know a few of those, and they’re fascinating people!

so he fucked up some fruit flies and gave them legs in their mouths. that is rude as hell.

mulder asks “why would you do that?” (we were all thinking it) and mad scientist dr. pollidori says “because i can” with another crash of thunder. throw him to the dungeons at once!!! 

dr. pollidori says "it" (editing genes to put legs in mouths) could theoretically be done in humans. scully tries to assure mulder this really isn’t the case, and it’s not quite that easy, but mulder isn’t so sure

“given the power, who could resist to create life in his own image?”, mulder asks <- honey, you just need a cat. you’re not ready for a child yet. i know you want one so badly, but you sleep on the couch. it's just not the right time.

ohhh she got him with just that LMAOOOO “we already have that ability, mulder; it’s called procreation” <- i am very attuned to scully, as you can clearly tell by me anticipating that line

she says she’s going to really see if mrs. berkowitz is pregnant tomorrow... i did not know that this was a service scully could provide. but i guess i should have assumed.

dr. pollidori has a wife??? her name is elizabeth. she wants to talk to him about children?????? but he says “you know how i feel about children” okay well elizabeth seems too good for you anyway, so??

“what happened to our dream?” “i think that’s your dream” <- BABE LEAVE HIM!!! FUCK THE MAILMAN!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

everything is so incredibly 1950’s coded in this scene, down to her little apron

i’m picking up a sword for elizabeth, why are you being so mean to her, mad scientist dr. pollidori!!!!!!!!!!! NO, SHE’S CRYING!!!!!!!!! DIVORCE, BABES, DIVORCE!!

but something is at the window?? NO!! STAY AWAY FROM HER, GREAT MUTATO, SHE’S HAD ENOUGH!!

diner time with the agents. seems the whole town is there and they are smiling at them. in an unsettling manner. oh lord, why is MULDER so good looking in black and white too?? someone put me down like a rabid dog.

awww, scully finds a newspaper and it mentions their FBI stuff… who snitched on them!!! :(

mulder is presented with an IMMENSE amount of food (he only wanted coffee!) on behalf of JJ (that’s with two J's), and i still can’t figure out the vibe here, because on one hand we’ve got spooky silly mad scientist dr. pollidori, and on the other hand we have a rapist monster so. like?? hey???

some reporter character next to mulder is writing down everything he says and does. and this waitress gets right in his face to ask if jerry springer is coming to town. i’m uncomfy, you’re uncomfy, we’re all uncomfy.

so the newspaper article had everything they said last night word for word!!! who was sneaking around?? other than that person who was just sneaking over mulder’s shoulder, but we had not seen before??

izzy is being questioned for potential recording of their conversation and they’re sticking their heads in one at a time LMAOOOO. mrs. berkowitz has had ENOUGH of izzy's shenanigans!

he pulls out a tape recorder, and their whole conversation from the night before was on there!!! and then mulder rewinds, and they hear the cher song???? what!!! how is this connected??? and they hear a voice singing along!!! it’s the great mutato!!! he wasn't even there when that happened!!!

SO WHO WAS RECORDING EVERYTHING?????

the great mutato is dancing around in the doctor’s house!!!!!

LMAOOOOO mulder’s spouting frankenstein analysis in relation to this case (hey. call me btw) and scully hits him with the “mulder, i’m alarmed you would reduce this man to a literary stereotype” <- yeah the roasting should be mutual

he asks who else would go to such lengths to get mrs. berkowitz pregnant, and she’s looking around as if she has to gently break the news to him that "well, mulder, certain men love to hurt women", etc etc

scully is reading mrs. berkowitz’s file as they drive off, and everything DOES look true, both the tubal ligation and the pregnancy!!! when mulder starts driving the car backwards???

WE GET ANOTHER CHER SONG MOMENT as they run into a house that is covered with a tent!!! like we saw before at the very beginning with mrs. berkowitz!!! i think it’s dr. pollidori's house!!! and it’s filled with smoke!!! 

the girls (the agents) are breaking in!!! have we considered that scully should get out of here considering what happened last time we saw this exact scenario go down????? she’s coughing!!!!

mulder emerges from nearby, but nooooo!! they both collapse!!!!!! and the pig guy/dr. pollidori's father from before has a gas mask and says there ain’t no monster!!! HUH??

dr. pollidori comes back to his home a few days later, and poor mulder and scully and elizabeth are on the floor in a heap, looking terribly hung over from this gassing. they must have been out for like three days!!!

mulder says out loud that he thinks that he thinks dr. pollidori's wife elizabeth was impregnated, which is crazy to say btw, but elizabeth seems deeply excited at the fact. and then he tries to stand up and confront dr. pollidori, but he crashes into some stuff. and people are so right, mulder IS my baby girl. 

scully, meanwhile, is explaining that she thinks this is all some big hoax.

but mulder!!! he finds a frying pan!! and mrs. berkowitz also had her frying pans “violated”, in his words!!

his tie is all messy and he’s stumbling around. we are given a brief insight into what drunk mulder must appear like. but a principled man, he has generally sworn off alcohol, so this is all we can use to imagine how such a sight would appear.

when they pull out an empty jar of peanut butter like izzy used to summon the great mutato, he proclaims that he found his smoking gun. lmao

IT’S THE DOCTOR'S DAD?????? THE ONE WHO WAS WALKING THE PIG EARLIER??? HE’S BRINGING THE MUTATO SANDWICHES AND CALLS HIM "SON"??? please put your son on a leash sir, because he is clearly committing crimes

ohhh confrontation time between dr. pollidori and his father…. OHHHH choking is going on. the dad said he did "it" because he can….. terrible reasoning to make a guy, btw

mulder is back in the diner, and now everyone is avoiding his gaze, throwing things at him, trying to trip him!!! JJ spits on his plate!!! he still looks good as hell though. 

THEY POUR THE COFFEE RIGHT IN HIS LAP???? RUDE AF????

now the newspaper is publishing that the agents think the monster is a hoax, which i guess explains his treatment. so do the townspeople LIKE the monster, then??? and so denying him is to deny what makes them unique? but hold onto that thought, because now everyone is running outside!!!!

THE POLICE HAVE IZZY???? he has a mask on!!! the cop says they've caught their monster. a cosplay mask doesn’t make him a monster, you utter fools. mrs. berkowitz is a good mom though; she says she WILL throw hands with the whole town for judging her boy, and i respect that 

oh, scully with the big reveal: the stuff on the frying pan they found at the doctor's house is used to knock out farm animals???? and farmers have to be on a register to use it!! which leads them to dr. pollidori's father aka the guy who walked his pig!!!!

the great mutato finds his father dead in the kitchen and mourns him, bringing him into the barn where he sobs and digs him a grave. it is sad. but. he still did those terrible things to mrs. berkowitz and elizabeth, so i'm not sure how bad i'm supposed to feel.

so the agents arrive, while it seems he is hiding up in the rafters. they find a puck of that weird gas that knocks you out, and mulder says he thinks they’re too late as they find the freshly dug grave

OHHH they hear a creaking and he WHIPS out his gun, but does this thing where he backs up so he is RIGHT in front of scully… wait, i need to watch that again. yeah, it was good. 

it’s the journalist person??? from before at the diner?? here to get a good scoop on the murder!!!!

but now the angry townspeople are arriving!!! lead by dr. pollidori! it’s very much giving gaston in beauty in the beast with the flaming torches. well. they’re going after him. while our agents are in the rain. probably still enduring a crazy chemical hangover. 

NOOOO!!!! scully turns around and sees the mutato!!! wow, she actually saw the creature for once lmao. that never seemed to happen in the early seasons

so they go in the cellar after the mutato and find a shrine to CHER NOW HOLD ON. HOLD ON. i have to pause and laugh. WHAT THE HELL. LMAOOOO

at least he has taste, i guess??

they find him in the corner and tell him to come out. scully seems deeply compassionate.

meanwhile, the barn is fully on fire as the journalist tries to write everything down. who will think of the sheep and pigs??? and even the chickens???

they emerge from the cellar but nooo, the journalist sees them!!! and the townspeople are invading!!!

the doctor says to let him go or they’ll burn him out. and he reveals to the crowd it was his FATHER who created him!!

mulder holds up a finger to wordlessly say “WATCH IT, WISE GUY” while the mutato is trying to say something. oh he can fully talk. “i have never acted to harm another soul” <- BUDDY. BUDDY WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING TO THOSE WOMEN????????

he’s monologing now, explaining he was the product of the doctor’s experiments. but his father rescued and loved him. and he tried to learn the science to make him a friend. also a horse is listening to all of this btw.

dr. pollidori's calls mutato a mistake which is rude as hell. 

however, if i’m supposed to feel bad for this guy for saying sorry after being caught raping women, i’m not gonna 💀 it sucks that he was abandoned and unloved, but we still need to have ethics in our conduct

scully looks deeply upset though.

he says he learned so much about humanity, and about love; “cher loved that boy so much” <- well. yeah. i laughed.

izzy declares that the great mutato is no monster!!!! i guess that he is his father, so he might be a bit biased there.

mulder is troubled by the fact that unlike in the original book of frankenstein, this monster did not escape to look for a bride! he wants to speak to the writers

“there’s not gonna be any bride, mulder. not in this story” “well then where’s the writer? i want to speak to the writer” <- LMAOOO why did this feel like a dig at the MSR shippers, i'm HOWLING

we end with more cher as cars drive down the road. AND THE AGENTS HAVE THE GREAT MUTATO IN THEIR CAR??? he’s just chilling in the back.

AND THEY TAKE HIM TO A CHER CONCERT??? OR IMPERSONATOR??? OR SOMETHING!?? AND HE’S LOSING HIS MIND?? WHILE IZZY AND THE AGENTS WATCH???

AND THEN WE SEE THE GREAT MUTATO BABIES ON JERRY SPRINGER and when he asks if the babies are hard to love due to their two faces (rude??) mrs. berkowitz says “what’s not to love?” <- okay queen!!!! she may have gone through a lot, but damn she loves her babies!!!

and then… mulder takes scully, and they dance??? they dance??? i knew there was a dance scene actually because i had seen in mentioned before, but i am seeing this??? with my eyes???? oh my god???

they love each other man... and maybe that’s romantic or maybe they’re best friends and maybe it's both or some secret third thing, but that is LOVE!!!!! LOOK AT THEM!!!!!

and then izzy turns it into a comic book??

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH LMAOOOOO

guys please be kind to me if you understood this because i did not. i’m half laughing and half soooo confused

????? man, hold on

again, i see the similarities to small potatoes as has been mentioned before. and we’re supposed to just feel bad for the great mutato and wave off the rape. which doesn’t fly for me. and also why have there been two episodes with this theme now. what was chris carter smoking? and can we get him a different strain? 

tbh, i really haven’t listened to cher before but if nothing else this episode put me onto her?? i guess??

i don’t have that same visceral sick feeling that i had from small potatoes, which i take is because we did not see scully as the victim of the violence this time around, but still. not great. 

it felt like a huge inside joke i’m not in on. so i’m confused. and i appreciate that this is referencing old movie tropes, but that doesn’t mean i understand them any better, you know?

but they danced :( they danced :(

i waited two days before writing this up to try and let some time pass and hopefully make my perceptions a bit clearer, but i don't think it worked as well as i had hoped. this has to be a record for most question marks per episode writeup. so i am going to NEED to know what the wider community thinks of this episode. and also what you, the person reading, thinks of this episode. is this a cult classic? am i simply too young to understand the references? or is there truly nothing to get and the episode is just Like That for some reason?

i was, all in the span of 40-ish minutes, amused, disgusted, enamored, and baffled. with different percentages of each.

conclusion: mrs. berkowitz is real as hell, mulder and scully look AMAZING in black and white, and i do not forgive the great mutato. also they danced, btw. not sure if you caught that.

however, if i may venture a guess: this episode and the last were more silly than usual, and i appreciate that. but, i actually do sort of know what happens in the next two, in a "describe it in one sentence" kind of way, because before i decided to watch this show i googled it to see what it was about... and i came across this plot point. and maybe they decided to do something a bit more light-hearted before coming in with the emotional devastation. although, that did not stop them last season, so who knows?

i am excited to watch the next two.

[discoknack]

Kaiju-Lantern Catastrophe

Uhhh

[antiqua-lugar]

there has been a bunch of posts recently about the inquisitor being erased by the narrative and a bunch of posts about how this means that the inquisitor can never come back from "being the inquisitor" and I agree

BUT

like it's not going to happen because in the end this is bioware's sandbox and if they decide that the inquisitor is gonna be in veilguard then the inquisitor is going to show up in veilguard even if you think your inquisitor would let the world burn and good riddance

BUT

one could make the argument that because the inquisitor is a symbol, because the inquisitor is so much larger than life, because the inquisitor as an individual doesn't fucking matter, they can leave, because no one knows who they actually are. like it's not without risks but if lavellan paces out and goes back to their clan (or any clan) is anyone going to find them? do people even know what lavellan looks like? did anyone in this chantry-led, shamlen-run institution even bother to pay attention to their vasillin? when cadash or adaar was the herald of andraste in haven all bull had to do was throw some shitty clothes on them as camouflage. when you get to the winter palace, people are surprised about who the inquisitor actually is.

once you disband the inquisition and peace out, how many people can actually pick out cadash out of a line-up when so much about the inquistion has been about erasing everything about them except some vague "idk some dwarf. i think he's a ginger"? like when josephine interviews you she's not doing it to get the story straight, she's doing it to know what to hide, what to emphasize, how to rebuild your whole identity to someone who is not you anymore.