#Doofus Penny

[dizzybelle]

pebby :)

[missbutterworthless]

[i’m not a violent dog. i don’t know why i bite.]

The lead singer of BOTB’s Season 4 projected underdogs, Arlo Beck of Penny Arcade, declined further comment in regards to the threatening of a member of the media when questioned about former band mate and fellow competitor, Seven Lawless of Soft Violence.

Further Info Under the Cut!

TW for mentions of addiction 🫶

Introducing Arlo Beck, lead singer of Penny Arcade, a pop punk band of humble origins known most for their musically delivered political commentary and their revenge anthems (it is of particular note that such anthems were not common in the Lawless Era, with the band leaning far more heavily into charged love songs. Which could mean nothing.)

Fun Facts!

Beck is an Aquarius!

According to an insider source, beyond singing, Beck is quite capable with the ocarina.

Beck is known to juggle at any and every opportunity, regardless of who may or may not be watching. (He is apparently rather talented as well.)

Beck is known for accessorizing with heart motifs, noted by a previous local publication to be a nod to fellow bandmate Rowan Hart.

Beck often carries a bottle of quick dry black polish for ‘manicure emergencies’. He is known to have addressed such emergencies while on stage after chipping a nail during a performance.

Beck is often cited as the source for Penny Arcade’s ‘gimmick’ of collecting loose change in collection bins during a dedicated song at every performance. The change is then matched and donated to queer and at risk youth. Beck remains firm that every member of Penny Arcade, past and present, is equally responsible.

Picture Easter Eggs and more Fun Facts!

Arlo is wearing a WWOD? bracelet in the pic! The band got together to make bracelets with Orion’s most recent catchphrase while waiting for filming to start. Arlo made his particularly fruity. He also made a keychain version for Orion.

The time on Arlo’s phone is a nod to MCx7. Seven is, well, 7. And Arlo is 1 & 2 because his initials are the first and second letters of the alphabet. Hence, 7:12.

Arlo’s initial tattoo utilizes the S in SD as an infinity symbol. He acknowledges it is cringy. And poetically tragic.

Not shown is his tongue piercing, which Orion chewed him out for getting because his tongue was swollen and his speech slurred for nearly two weeks!

As stated above, he likes to wear motifs of his band members! Because he is a doofus! Most common because it’s his daily accessories is a heart motif for Rowan, but he also has jellyfish pendants and vampire bite chokers for Iris and different color bee pins for Devyn depending on their hair color! Jazzy is represented in the case he carries his juggling equipment in, which he takes literally everywhere after she bought him one for his birthday years ago. He is currently racking his brain for what to do for August!

43 of the 57 missed calls on his phone were from Orion. He knows because Orion’s ringtone is I Don’t Dance from High School Musical 2.

He is heavily addicted to nicotine (to Orion’s chagrin) and became a functioning (for now) alcoholic after The Fight™️. Prior, he imbibed during social functions but never alone and never when he had plans. Up until the audition, he never partook in other substances but caved into peer pressure. Despite his snark and notorius RBF, he is a chronic people pleaser.

The eyebrow slit is a scar from slicing his eyebrow open in Lucy’s diner after crashing head first into the dish station and shattering a plate. With his face. The scar is almost entirely faded but he can no longer grow hair there. He’s actually really insecure about it and has considered getting the spot microbladed.

That’s all for now folks! I mostly wanted to share my art :) I adore @infamous-if and have been playing with Arlo as my MC since Day 1! He finally fully clicked in my head and after days of attempting to find a face claim or craft him in the sims I decided to crack open Ye Olde iPad and do it myself!

Please feel free to share any fun facts about your own Infamous OCs! Regretfully my friends stay firmly opposed to interactive fiction so I am starved for fellow Infamous fans

[percyweasleyapologist]

also, thoughts on the relationship hcs:

-bisexual cedric diggory, percy was his bi awakening but they didn't date, good friends though

-pansexual oliver wood, acts like a dufus off the pitch but in a totally endearing way

-bisexual percy weasley, thought he was straight, then thought he was gay, then realised he could swing both ways

-omniromantic, asexual penelope clearwater, very femme and used to date girls exclusively, until percy and oliver

-aromantic homosexual marcus flint who finds boys attractive but doesn't date and likes physical contact from close friends

-ships: perciver, percivelope, percelope

-everyone thought percy was dating penelope when he asked oliver out, and then after oliver broke up with him, he went out with penelope for a bit; when oliver realised he still loved percy and talked to him about it, the three started a poly relationship

-bisexual cedric diggory, percy was his bi awakening but they didn't date, good friends though

ooh i love that one!! def bi cedric, and i really like the idea of percy being his gay awakening but then realizing he also just likes him as a friend! (once oliver learns of this, he absolutely demolishes him in the next game)

-pansexual oliver wood, acts like a dufus off the pitch but in a totally endearing way

YES!!! THIS!! oliver my love <3 i definitely see him as pan, and then the doofus part is just always, like he's so sweet, but also so funky. And him with auDHD is just👌

-bisexual percy weasley, thought he was straight, then thought he was gay, then realised he could swing both ways

real. and i love that one!! oliver first, then penny. bc he could tell he liked oliver pretty immediately bc he didn't like him as a friend at the time (rivals to friends to lovers), but he couldn't really tell the difference between loving Penny as a friend, or romantically, so he didn't realize until she literally just fucking kissed him (she was giving him hints for months/years and he was too oblivious to notice)

-omniromantic, asexual penelope clearwater, very femme and used to date girls exclusively, until percy and oliver

oooooh! i really like love omni penny, i feel like it just fits her so well! for me, i kinda see her as either demisexual (i think that's what it's called?) or hypersexual. Also femme Penny is AOAHIWQIHWHWU, yes.

-aromantic homosexual marcus flint who finds boys attractive but doesn't date and likes physical contact from close friends

omg i love this. i'd never thought of it but it makes so much sense!! like sometimes hooks up with guys but not much attraction other than that.

-ships: perciver, percivelope, percelope

PERCIVELOPE MY LOVES!!!! EEEEEEE yupyupyup i love all of them. I also really like woodwater (penny and oliver), just because i think the dynamic is super cute and i honestly can't ship troubles without shipping all three of them individually haha. i also like poly academic disaster, but not one of my top ones.

-everyone thought percy was dating penelope when he asked oliver out, and then after oliver broke up with him, he went out with penelope for a bit; when oliver realised he still loved percy and talked to him about it, the three started a poly relationship

ooh yes!! or i also like percelope dating, oliver gets jealous. percelope breaks up bc they think they're better off as friends. perciver happens. percy realizes he still likes penny. penny realizes she still likes percy. perciver open relationship and percelope and perciver co-exist. oliver gets jealous again, but not bc of percy this time. oliver realizes he likes penny. penny realizes she likes oliver. yayyyy percivelope!!

[lolahaurisfw]

✎ Introduction ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Reqs are always open like usual too, and you can request as much as you want and as detailed as you want! i just get to things when i can/want to.

Anon's: None Yet

Other Accounts: @lolas-favfics @lolamultifandom @lolahauri @chowderpop 🔞

AO3: Here

BlueSky: Here

-> MASTERLIST <-

DNI: Map, Zoo, Pro-Para, Pro-Ana, TERF, Zionist, Bigots, Discourse Blogs. Block me if you don't agree. ❤️🖤🤍💚

What I Won't Write:

Smut. (Go to my other blog)

What I'm Willing To Write:

Reader Who Is: Tall, Short, Fat, Chubby, Curvy, Buff. Trans/NB.

Reader Who Has: Depression, Anxiety, DPDR, ADD.

Fluff, angst, platonic, hurt/comfort.

HC's, one shots, short multi-chapter fics, imagines/drabbles.

Canon-friendly, AU's, Canon Divergence, Out of Character.

Ch x Ch / Ch x Reader / Ch x OC / Poly Ships of any kind.

F/F, M/M, F/M, GN/F, GN/M, Poly Ships of any kind.

Now that that's out of the way, here's the list of fandoms and characters i'm familiar with and will happily take requests on!

Adventure Time/Fiona & Cake: PB, Marceline, Marshall Lee, Winter King, Candy Queen, Simon, Ice King, Fiona.

Attack On Titan: Armin, Eren, Mikasa, Sasha, Levi, Hanji, Annie, Historia, Reiner, Erwin, Ymir. 

Avatar: Jake, Neytiri.

Batman Begins Trilogy: Batman, Catwoman, Bane, Joker, Scarecrow.

Beauty & The Beast: Belle, Beast/Adam, Gaston.

Bee & Puppycat: Bee, Deckard, Cass, Toast.

BigBang Theory: Raj, Leonard, Penny, Amy.

Bistro Huddy: All Staff Members.

Black Dynamite: Honeybee, Black Dynamite.

BNA: Michiru, Shirou.

Bob’s Burgers: Bob, Linda.

Breaking Bad: Jesse, Skylar.

Call of Duty: Konig, Ghost, Mace, Keegan, Krueger, Valeria, Farah.

Creepypasta: Jeff, Jane, Ben, Toby, EJ, LJ, Slenderman, Splendorman, Clockwork, Kate, Masky, Hoodie,

Desperate Housewives: Bree, Gabi, Edie, Lynette, Carlos, John.

Dirty Dancing: Johnny, Baby.

Earth Girls Are Easy: Mac, Zeebo, Wiploc, Valerie.

Elemental: Wade, Ember.

Encanto: Isabela, Bruno, Dolores, Julieta.

FNAF Movie: Vanessa, Mike, William/Steve.

Frozen: Elsa, Anna, Kristoff.

Futurama: Leela, Fry, Amy, Bender.

Good Pizza, Great Pizza: Alicante, Octavia, Dr. Keh, Nasir, Flash, Cicero, Kimmy Slice, Dr. Price.

Grandma's Boy: J.P, Samantha.

Gravity Falls: Ford, Stan, Soos, Melody, Giffany, Bill.

Jane The Virgin: Jane, Michael, Petra, Luisa, Rose, Rogelio, Xiomara.

Jurassic Park (1993): Ian Malcolm, Ellie Sattler.

Jujutsu Kaisen: Gojo, Choso, Nanami, Sukuna, Toji, Shoko, Geto, Yaga Masamichi, Utahime, Uraume.

King of the Hill: Hank, Peggy, Luane, Nancy, Dale, Khan, Min, John Redcorn.

Life Is Strange (2015): Maxine, Chloe.

Lisa Frankenstein: Lisa, Creature, Taffy.

Little Mermaid (2022): Ariel, Eric.

MHA: Dabi, Hawks, Aizawa, Shigaraki.

Miller's Girl: Cairo, Johnathon.

Moon Knight: Moon System, Layla, Khonshu.

Mulan: Mulan, Li Shang.

National Treasure: Benjamin, Riley.

Nintendo: Link, Zelda, Peach, Daisy, Rosalina, Luigi, Bowser, Waluigi.

Norbit: Rasputia, Norbit.

Princess & The Frog: Tiana, Lottie, Naveen, Shadow Man.

Ratatouille: Colette, Linguini. 

Regular Show: Mordecai, Margret, Eileen, CJ, Benson.

Resident Evil: Karl Heisenberg, Carlos Oiliveria, Lady Dimitrescu.

Rick and Morty: Rick, Jerry, Beth, Doofus Rick.

Riverdale: FP Jones, Hiram.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: Kim, Ramona, Gideon, Wallace.

Scream 5: Amber, Tara, Sam.

Serial Mom: Chip, Beverly.

Silverado: Slick, Rae, Mal, Paden.

Shallow Hal: Rosemary, Hal.

Shameless: Lip, Fiona, Kev, V.

SheRa (2018): All Adults.

Sherlock (2010): Sherlock, John Watson.

Slashers & DBD: Brahms, Ghostface, Michael Myers, Jason Vorhees, Pyramid Head, The Spirit, Huntress, Trapper, Wraith, Trickster, Pearl, Jennifer Check, Stu Matcher, Billy Loomis, Tiffany Valentine, Patrick Batmeman, Thomas Hewitt, Vincent Sinclair, Eric Draven, The Artist, Amanda Young.

Spiderverse: Miguel, Jessica Drew.

Spongebob: Dennis, Man Ray.

Squid Games: Gihun, Saebyeok, Ali, Sangwoo, Minyeo, Junho, Jiyeong, Inho, Hyunju, Daeho, Mina, Noeul, Junhee, Youngmi, Myunggi, Masked Officer, Namgyu, Gyeongseok, Minsu, Yongsik, Semi, Thanos, Mercenary Kim, Wooseok, Salesman.

Stardew Valley: All Adult Humans (Except George & Evelyn)

Steven Universe: Garnet, Amethyst, Peridot, Lapis, Jasper, Blue Diamond, Rose, Greg.

Stranger Things: Robin, Billy Eddie, Chrissy, Hopper.

Supernatural: Sam, Dean, Castiel.

Super Store: Amy, Jonah, Dina, Garrett, Cheyenne.

Tangled: Flynn, Rapunzel, Mother Gothell.

The Batman (2022): Batman, Riddler.

The Breakfast Club: John Bender, Allison Reynolds.

The Nanny: C.C, Fran, Maxwell.

Total Drama Island: S1 Contestants, Chris, Chef, Blainley.

Triple Frontier: Frankie, Santiago.

Turning Red: Ming Lee, Jin Lee.

Twilight: Edward, Carlisle, Alice, Charlie.

YOU: Beck, Joe, Peach, Love.

Young Sheldon: Mary, Connie.

~

Abel Morales (A Most Violent Year)

Astarion (Baulder’s Gate 3)

Babbo Natale (Violent Night)

Barbie (Barbie 2023)

Basil Stitt (Lightning Face)

Beverly Goldberg (The Goldbergs)

Bruce (Beyond Therapy)

Charles Ingalls (Little House on the Praire)

Charlie Dompler (Smiling Friends)

Chel (Road to El Dorado)

Dale Kobble (Longlegs)

Dan Conner (Rosanne)

David Levinson (Independence Day)

Din Djarin (The Mandalorian)

Doug Remer (Baseketball)

Duke Leto Atreides (Dune)

Fezzik (Princess Bride)

Francine (American Dad)

Fujimoto (Ponyo)

Georgia Miller (Ginny & Georgia)

Jack Harrison (Translyvania 6-5000)

Jackson Rippner (Red Eye)

Jon Arbuckle (Garfield 2024)

John Doe (John Doe Game)

Jonathan Levy (Scenes from a Marriage)

John Wick (John Wick 4)

King Baldwin (Kingdom of Heaven)

Kitten (Breakfast on Pluto)

Laurent LeClaire (In Secret)

Linda Gunderson (Rio)

Llewyn Davis (Inside Lleywn Davis)

Master Chief (Halo)

Mike (5lbs of Pressure)

Moe Doodle (Doodle Bops)

Nani Palekai (Lilo & Stitch)

Nathan Bateman (Ex Machina)

Outcome-3 (The Bourne Legacy)

Orestes (Agora)

Paul Blart (Paul Blart: Mall Cop)

Paul Cable (Last Stand at Saber River)

Peggy Bundy (Married With Children)

Peter Mitchell (3 Men & A Baby)

Poe Dameron (Star Wars)

Prince John (Robin Hood 2010)

Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd (Top Gun: Maverick)

Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)

Shiv (Pu-239)

Stanley Ipkiss (The Mask)

Star-Lord (Guardians of the Galaxy)

Summer Field (Time Cut)

Tate Langdon (AHS: Murder House)

The Janitor (Willy’s Wonderland)

Thomas Magnum (Magnum, P.I 1980)

William Tell (The Card Counter)

[serenayonaka]

Our darling Penny has ✨finally✨ found a home, leaving just this sweet little doofus up for adoption. 09/27 will be a full year of trying to find his forever home. 😞 He’s such a sweet boy. Please keep sharing him, especially if you haven’t before. His family is out there, we just haven’t reached them yet!

Located in Leesburg, FL

[emiemi345]

SpongeBob quotes by Clone High characters

JFK: Hey, you guys must be lost! Doofus Drive is around the corner!

Abe: We're not lost! I've got my compass!

-

Harriet: I'm a good noodle! I'm a good noodle!!

Candide: You'll get this star back when you earn it.

Harriet: Noooo!!

-

Scudworth: I'm not cheap! I'm generous!

Butlertron: You almost tore a man's arm off for a penny.

-

Topher: You could say we're friends, right?

Joan: Um, no.

Topher: Acquaintances?

Joan: No.

-

Confucius: Welcome to the future!

Gandhi: What?

[hooter-n-company]

The masses have spoken! Next up in Hooter’s roster, we have this dastardly wolf-man here, my own version of the Big Bad Wolf.

Starting out in life as a normal human, Louis Garou was a notorious criminal and thief, who acquired an enchanted wolf skin that transformed him into a wolf when he put it on. He used it to aid him in robberies and all sorts of devilish deeds, but once he began to rely on it too much, he didn't heed the warnings about misusing this powerful magic item. He wore it for far too long, and as a result, the skin permanently fused with his own flesh, trapping him in werewolf form. He eventually figured out a way to morph back into a semi-humanoid state, but he can never regain his true form.

An outcast unable to blend in with similar races and monsters (mostly because of his obnoxious and gluttonous tendencies), he migrated from the rural countryside to the Victorian steampunk city of Mythos, a place where the wealthy live in the highest buildings and the poor live on ground level alongside shady characters and dangerous beasts of legend…Louis Garou included.

More info under the cut:

Name: Louis Garou

Pronouns: He/him

Age: Mid to late 30s

Species: Werewolf (used to be fully human)

Role: Pred

Height: 8 feet tall (10 in “beast” form)

Abilities: Can shift into a 10 foot tall “beast wolf” form when under high stress, sharp teeth and claws

Personality: This fella makes himself out to be a refined gentleman, but he’s really a liar, a thief, and a gluttonous beast underneath it all, luring in unsuspecting victims with his wit and charms. Ironically, Louis isn’t nearly as wealthy as he claims he is, and whatever wealth he does have wasn’t acquired though legal means. However, as much as he’s this infamous, powerful creature, he can be a real doofus and a straight up coward when he’s outmatched.

Likes: Eating, squirmy prey, fancy clothes, jewelry, showing off, flaunting his (nonexistent) wealth, gingerbread, card games, drinking, flirting, playing cards, penny dreadfuls, grooming himself, being pampered

Dislikes: Witches, magic curses, law enforcement, sharp objects, woodcutters, living in poverty, indigestion, headless horse-men, rain, fire, gray hairs, old ladies with rolling pins, being held accountable

Other Info:

-Speaks in a Cockney accent

-The light of the full moon has a powerful effect on his shapeshifting abilities. It temporarily traps him in his more beastly form, unable to transform back, which can last from one to three days.

-On decent terms with a troll living under a bridge and an old crone who used to be a noblewoman

-On VERY bad terms with a headless horse-man who runs the local “monster mafia”

-If you know the story of Little Red Riding Hood, you know how he got that scar on his tummy…

[systastic]

Could we ask for a level 3 catgirl little? You were the first to come to mind for catgirls ^^ a picrew image would be lovely

YESYESYESYES!!!! another catfriend!!! aaahhh im so honored mew came to me nya!! if mew end up splitting her please please please feel free to let her come n talk to us!! imogen n i are both catgirls ~ and i love new friends meow - 🍥

name :: penny (short for penelope), sophie, bella, rosie, grace, alice, poppy, merry

age :: 9 to 12

pronouns :: predominantly she/her, will use purr/purrs, cloud/clouds, frog/frogs, fluff/fluffs, and yarn/yarns when she remembers they can be used to refer to herself (which isn’t often- it’s a bit much for her to get a hold of)

roles :: charge, little, innocence holder, ògregulator, catgirlxenorole

species :: catgirl!!

gender identity :: she doesn’t rly think about it a whole lot! so she is sticking to female until proven otherwise

orientation :: aroace (cus shes a kiddo — this may change if she ages!!)

source :: brainmade

aesthetic :: dopamine, kidcore, wholesome meme

appearance description :: sophie has shoulder length hair that’s been whipped back into a very sporadic ponytail… though most of the hair has fallen out or just doesn’t fit due to her placement. she often wears overalls paired with a sweater of some description (usually a bye one with clouds on it) that has pins all over the straps. mild scars scatter her face and legs from all the outdoor activists and occasional fight she gets into — but don’t you worry, cus rosie packs a MEAN punch when she wants to! those doofus boys never stood a chance!!

personality description :: sophie can and will get excited over the little things she sees during the day. no one is safe from her relentless optimism!! are you sad? boom, have a look at this cute cat gif. feeling down? then look at this shiny rock picked up just for you! grace hoards all of these tiny, seemingly useless objects to either cheer up her friends, dole out as gifts, or to add to her personal mini-hoard. even strangers can be victims to her unrelenting positivity: if someone looks down, merry will pepper them with questions and fun facts and maybe even some drawings until they feel better. that’s what she’s good at! even if the person has to fake it so they can back away… but don’t tell her that, you’d break her heart.

likes :: cool rocks, cool animals she found in the woods, bringing her favorite people cool things she found, coloring, self portraits, asking lots and LOTS of questions, talking to cool people, making new friends with anyone she meets, schoolyard games, flash dress up sites, cartoons like curious george, the owl house (early season!), bluey, the backyardigans, my little pony, craig of the creek, moon girl, amazing world of gumball (not the “gross” episodes), doc mcstuffins, fairly odd parents: the new wish, star vs the forces of evil, steven universe (NOT future), calico critters, dollhouses, clouds, yarn balls, funky sweaters, overalls, winning fights against the neighborhood boys, and running around outside

dislikes :: getting into scuffles with the local kids and losing, being picked on, being told she’s stupid, being told she’s “too young” for something, mean adults, mean people, things with too many “bad” (dark) colors, purposefully confusing phrases or sentences, not understanding something due to her age (this especially comes into play when she tries to learn knitting to make her own sweaters)

front triggers :: unexpected occurrences (positive ones), randomly finding something super cool or strange in a weird location, the toy aisle, anything with a lot of colors, drawing and coloring things in, seeing a random cat or frog, when people in front or externally feel sad (she wants to help!!)

signoff :: 🧶, ☁️, 🌼, or 🐈

picrew link here!

[writebackatya]

A few days ago me and my bro were texting and talking about how Augustus St. Cloud from Venture Bros. reminded us of Doofus Drake. It’s kinda funny we both had a similar thought when watching two different Venture Bros. clips on Twitter

Anyway, I haven’t stopped thinking about this scene from Venture Bros. but with Louie and Doofus

“Eat the pennies, Llewellyn.”

“I’M NOT GONNA EAT PENNIES!”

[enteringdullsville]

Noah Beane, the Black Drewman

Be Cool

Rank: A (Semi-Main Character)

Visual Inspiration

Other Character Bases

He Who Talks the Toque

Lovable slacker Noah has an exceptionally dry wit and an IQ through the roof. He’s too lazy to go out of his way to be a jerk to anyone, so he’s typically easygoing and non-confrontational. A notorious charmer. A shameless flirt, really.

Noah prefers intellectual pursuits, anyway. He’s a relatively simple guy who doesn’t ask for much, and a lot of people tend to write him off as a doofus as a result, but if he wants something, he knows how to people’s minds work. Now, Noah isn’t the kind of guy to manipulate others for his own benefit. Honestly he isn’t. He is, however, the kind of guy to manipulate others for others’ benefit.

Fun Facts

Noah’s surname is a play on (jelly)bean, fitting with the sweets theme of Drewman surnames.

Noah’s first name is a pun on “noir”, French for “black”.

Noah was initially envisioned as a more foppish and theatrical character.

Noah is tied with Chloe and J. for the most name changes in development, going from Blake to Ashton to Nigel to Noah. Unlike them, all Noah’s names are color themed, as Chloe and J.’s first names (Penny and Art) were art themed.

Noah, unlike Violet, has his bangs consistently point in the same direction no matter which way he faces.

Noah’s eyes are distinctly rectangular and, unlike many other characters, are largely consistent in shape.

Noah’s collected coolness is tucked under his hat. If taken off carelessly, Planet Palette will undergo an eighty-third ice age.

[arthyritis]

A/N: so obsessed with Shells, she really brought back a lot of my creative motivation, so here have this lol

,

The teacher's low-heeled pumps tapped against the tile floor, her voice reading off names in a much-too-professional tone for a middle school teacher. Being it was the first day, the students could already tell how this was going to go; it was time for them to make their impressions for the year.

"Penny?"

Ginger hair tied into a braid swished in the front row. "Here!"

“Sanjay?”

A boy with blond hair kicked his desk in response, a chuckle in his voice as he responded, “Present.” The teacher paid him no mind aside from crossing his name off the list.

“Shelly?”

The class went silent, looking around as an olive-skinned girl didn’t say anything, but raised her hand with a disgruntled frown. “If I’m not mistaken, it says “Shells” on the attendance, doesn’t it, Miss?”

Tired amber eyes met the green speaking at the back of the class as the student folded her arms in annoyance. “My apologies. I assumed it was a mistype, and it won’t happen again. Are you Shells?”

“The one and only. Here. Present.”

“Thank you for the correction, then, Shells. Timothy?”

Shells turned her eyes away from the front of the class where the teacher resided to look over at her friend who was currently making sure she was all right. “Shells?” he asked to which she waved a hand haphazardly and turned her attention to a wall to her left. “Want to talk at recess?”

Shells’ gaze left the wall for a moment, a faint smile on her face when she noticed how worried P was. “I’m okay. We’ll talk.”

Denim-clad legs kicked out on the swing, making Shells rise into the air. P sat on the swing beside her, his legs crossed at the ankles and arms wrapped around the chains, picking idly at his fingers while Shells swung, gaining enough momentum to shake the entire swing set. "Ready to talk?" he mumbled.

"You'd think," Shells emphasised the word with a kick, "that teachers would have faith in the staff who handles the attendance, that they wouldn't make a mistake like that. Especially because I specifically made sure of it."

"Yeah, you'd think," P repeated, wiggling his legs to get more comfortable on the plastic swing seat. "I know it bothers you, but at least it seemed an honest mistake on the teacher's part."

Shells scoffed, but her irritation was aimed more generally than at her friend. "At least. Maybe I need to get the school to put a note for any substitutes and future teachers saying, "It's not a mistake, it's just her name!" Why do they always think it's a mistake, anyway?"

"Beats me." P broke eye contact with his fingers to look over at Shells. His eyes widened in surprise of something that really would never fail to surprise him; the way Shells’ red hair shone bright in the sunny outdoors, an almost unnatural tint to it that would go away within a few minutes indoors was almost mezmerising. He scratched the back of his neck carefully, pondering this for a minute before getting back on topic. “Do you think you should talk to someone about it?”

Shells sighed dramatically, scuffing her feet into the ground on the way down. Her hair fell in her face as she turned to look at P. “No, she was pretty nice about it. I don’t think there’ll be any more problems; I’ll do something about it if there is, though. Don’t worry your silly head.”

She reached over and shuffled P’s hair around, tearing a laugh from him as he tried to get away.

“All right, all right. Don’t be such a doofus.”

[rosie-love98]

Just Realized Something About My Snape-Hardbroom-Hobbes Headcanon:

Since I have Nick Hobbes be born on Christmas Day of 1984 (in secret to Snape and Hardbroom), this means he was born during the star of “Hogwarts Mystery”. Thus, meaning that Snape would’ve been teaching the main kids while also worrying about his own kid’s arrival (along with giving said kid up for adoption and Snape’s divorce from Hardbroom). 

That all being said, this could also mean that Snape was (in his own Severus Snape way) asking his students questions that would give him ideas on what good names to give his son. Like this:

Severus Snape: While Libatius Borage has a rather...memorable name, it is vital for a wizard to have a more...adequate title. For the sake of (dare I say) entertainment, tell me what suitable names would you give yourselves if you would make powerful witches and wizards.

Penny Haywood: “Celestia Ruth”.

Chester Davies: “Solomon Ceartas”.

Merula Snyde: “Gloria Aeternus”

Charles Weasley: “Rufus Dragonheart”.

Merula Snyde: “Doofus Dragonbreath” best suits you, Weasley. If not, then “Filch Breath” would certainly do.

Charles Weasley: Silence, “Malitia Boggart”!

Chester Davies: Wouldn’t “Mrs. Norris II” be better, Charles?

Penny Haywood: Aaw! That sounds so cute!

Severus Snape: *Thinking* Serves me right for asking a bunch of prebubescent prats about anything...

[ollieblogs-stuff]

(No. 5)

This kid...

"This kid has insulted me so many times,” Qefia announced loudly, like saying the words would make them true, “nothing he says gets to me anymore." 

"You're ugly as hell," Tullius countered from his lounging position in the shallow pool the satyr carted behind her. 

"You take that back, you little -" Qefia whirled around furiously to face the spoiled merman. MerBOY was more accurate. 

The pathetic shit squeaked and raised his scrawny arms to cover his face. The satyr grunted, “Don’t start shit you can’t finish, my LiEgE.” Content with receiving a silent glare in response, Qefia turned once again to face the awkwardly-smiling innkeeper. 

“Ignore him. Gods know I do. It’s how I get through each day.” 

The woodland nymph gave a small, harried, smile to Qefia before returning to the computer in front of her. The satyr took a short moment to admire the speed and precision in which she hit each individual cap on the keyboard. 

Turning on her charm, Qefia cleared her throat quietly, “Look, Naicolei? Am I pronouncing that correctly?” The nymph smiled shyly as she nodded, tucking silky black strands behind her ear. 

Bingo. 

“Gods, what a gorgeous name. Surely there’s a star with that name, right? Or am I completely off?”

A shy, if confused, shake of the head in response. 

“Well there should be. Look, I’m sorry about all this. I don’t mean to put any unnecessary pressure on you. I completely understand that rocking up without a booking and demanding a room with a large bathtub is absolutely ludicrous. If it were me, I’d settle for anything, even a ‘no’ if it made your job easier.” 

Gesturing to the insipid, pompous merfolk behind her, the satyr continued, “Unfortunately, Mr Precious over here kind of needs to soak in water overnight. I promised his parents that I’d make sure this need is met as I accompany him to his next destination.” 

The clerk sighed softly. 

“There is one room available. It’s… one of our best rooms…” 

Ah. “Say no more, my dear Naicolei. It’s going to cost a pretty penny, right?” 

Another nod. 

“No expense is too high for my pampered, temporary ward here.” Turning to face Tullius, Qefia called, 

“Oi, doofus, pay up!” 

With a dramatic rolling of the royal eyes, Tullius tossed a sack of gold towards the satyr. She caught it mid-air and turned back to Naicolei. 

“Now, where were we?”

Qefia paid for the room and tipped the nymph generously. With a whispered, “I really appreciate all your help. I’d love to buy you a drink at the bar… When do you get off?... 9? It’s a date,” she pulled Tullius’ cart towards the elevators and rooms. 

##

The satyr decided she’d earned a quick nap on the luxurious, heavenly bed before her rendezvous. Unfortunately, Tullius seemed to have other ideas, 

“Qefia! I summon you!” 

For fuck’s sake. 

“I’m trying to sleep!” she roared in response. 

“Get in here, you miserable wretch!” he retaliated. 

Storming into the beautifully-tiled bathroom, Qefia cast her eyes on the merman stretched out leisurely in the bath. Tullius’ shiny and smooth tail rested lazily on the rim of the tub, and his head lay outstretched on a pillowed bath nook just out of the water. Prick. 

“You called?” The satyr injected as much venom as possible into her words. 

“I did, didn’t I?” was Tullius’ infuriating response. He opened one cerulean eye slowly, narrowing it in Qefia’s general direction. “Ugh, don’t look at me - or anyone else for that matter - like that. You look constipated. It’s unbecoming,” he drawled. 

Right. 

“Right,” Qefia gritted out between clenched teeth. “If that’s going to be all, I’m going to go back to bed, thanks. I’d rather not be insulted by a 10 year old.” 

Turning around to exit the space, Tullius’ grating voice made her clench her jaw harder, “I’m 16, you wretch!” 

Flipping her ward the bird, Qefia took another step forward. 

“Wait!” 

She stopped. Intrigued. Tullius’ frustrating, better-than-thou tone was gone. He sounded like a desperate, scared teen. 

“I’m - I’m sorry, okay? My pettiness is a knee jerk reaction,” Tullius explained softly. 

Intrigued further, Qefia turned around silently. She quirked her eyebrow at the lounging merman. 

Tullius cast his eyes to the water in the tub. He ran his fingers through the liquid distractedly. 

“I - Gods, I don’t even know how to start this conversation…”

The satyr settled into a seated position on the tiled floor when she recognised that this was going to take a while. Qefia pulled her hooves into a crossed position, then cocked her head inquiringly at Tullius. 

“How…?” The merman inhaled deeply. “The girl in the lobby. How did you…?” 

“Wait,” Qefia said slowly as a smile formed, “Are you trying to ask for flirting advice? From me?” 

“Shut up!” Tullius hid his reddened face behind his webbed hands. 

“Me?” the satyr teased further, “Ms ‘ugly as hell’? That me?” 

The merman screwed his face up and turned his head to face the opposite wall. “Forget it.” 

Realising she’d overstepped, Qefia hurried to correct herself. “Hey, no, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t’ve teased you. What did you want to talk about?” 

“I just - “ 

“Because like, Naicolei might also be attracted to guys, but I’m kind of appealing to her woman-loving side at the moment,” the satyr stated. 

Tullius shook his head, “No! Not her. Not - I just - “ 

Finally accepting a cue for silence, Qefia kept her mouth closed as she watched Tullius struggle to find the words. 

When he did finally speak in full words again, his voice was soft - timid. “How were you so confident in flirting with her? How did you know she was… like you?”

Ah. Shit. “Um…” 

“Not to imply that ‘you’ are different or wrong!” he rushed to clarify. “Quite the opposite, actually. I think - I think we’re more alike than I gave us credit for…” 

Qefia’s mind had blanked. Talk about dramatic reveals. She was so actively aware of how carefully this needed to be handled; how Tullius needed to be validated in this moment, without overwhelming him. She’d been prepared to get laid tonight, not have her temporary ward come out to her. 

Unfortunately, this blank and panicked state of mind didn’t communicate itself to Tullius, who had imploded at the lack of response after his disclosure. 

“NEVERMIND!” came his jarring voice. “I’m just being stupid. Forget it. Got you, haha!” 

Oh fuck, Qefia now had damage control to do. 

“Tullius,” she started. 

“NEVERMIND,” he repeated, avoiding eye contact. “I’m just being a stupid kid. I’m sure it’ll pass. Don’t tell my parents, please!” His eyes were large and shiny. Desperation hid behind his irises. 

Qefia stood up, aiming to sit closer to the tub. Tullius interpreted this as her preparing to leave, for he yelled,

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Stuck in a perpetual loop, he continued until he pleaded quietly, “Please don’t tell my parents. Please.” 

“Tullius, chill out dude. I’m not going to tell your parents anything you don’t want me to - unless it’s about your immediate safety, and this doesn’t fall under that category.” 

Qefia took a seated position closer to the bathtub, placing her arms on the outer rim to pillow her face. Tullius tracked her movement with wide eyes. The sound of lightly sloshing water filled the cavernous bathroom. 

Inhaling deeply, the satyr finally found the words, “Tullius, I want to offer my support the best I can. I’m a *bit* terrified at the thought I’m going to say the wrong thing and freak you out, so can I just ask some clarifying questions?” 

Tullius still just stared at her like a stunned mullet. 

“Do I have your permission to ask some clarifying questions so I can guide our conversation in the right direction? My questions are not to judge you or to force labels onto anything. If you don’t want to tell me something, don’t tell me. I’m here to listen and help how I can.” 

Slowly, Tullius nodded. With a grounding sigh, Qefia continued, 

“What did you mean when you said that we’re more alike than you’d given us credit for? What do you think makes us alike?” 

A pause. A long pause. An agonisingly long pause. 

Finally, 

“We both like… You like other girls. I - I like…” Tullius picked at one of his scales as he whispered, “I like boys. I like other guys.” 

Outwardly, Qefia nodded and maintained her best, encouraging ‘active listening’ expression. 

Internally, everything was on fire and she was screaming her head off. This wasn’t part of her job description! She wasn’t getting paid for this! She didn’t know how to talk to youth about their identities! She was a glorified bodyguard! What if she said the wrong thing and scarred this baby gay for life! She couldn’t live with that! 

Outwardly, calm Qefia said, “Tell me more about that. If you want. As little or as much as you’re comfortable with.” 

“I - I’ve known for a while, I guess. I spent a lot of time trying to ignore it. I thought I could convince myself to just marry a princess and convince her to let us stay as friends? But I just, I don’t know…” he trailed off. 

“I think I had a similar experience,” the satyr shared. “Trying to convince myself that I could live a charade for my entire adult life.” 

Tullius finally met her eyes again. “And then what?” 

“It lead me to a dark place. Eventually, I decided that my happiness was worth more than the comfort of close-minded people around me.” 

The merman processed her words for a moment. Then, “And is it? Worth it?” 

Ensuring their gazes held, Qefia uttered her response with absolute seriousness. “Always. Except,” she added, “when your safety is threatened. Your safety and happiness is always worth it.” 

“Oh,” Tullius’ voice was saddened. 

“But,” Qefia desperately continued, “there are always safe spaces and people who accept you for you, and who will protect you until it’s safe again. I’ll happily be one of your people, if you’ll accept a miserable wretch like me.” She grinned after her teasing. 

Tullius’ smile was genuine. “I’d like that. Thank you.” 

The two shared a rare, peaceful moment of cohabitation. 

Their zen was broken by the merman’s quiet, “Uh, Qefia, what time were you meeting with what’s-her-name?” 

The satyr glanced at her wristwatch. “SHIT!”

~ O.M.A

Random Prompts 14:

"Look, I just think it's a bad idea." "You have said that about all of my ideas."

"Any questions?" *raises hand* "No, you cannot leave." *lowers hand*

"Y'know, when I agreed to do this, I somehow didn't think about how gross I would be by the end of the day." "Hence why showers exist."

"Do you even know how to flirt with other people?" "Yeah! I've watched movies and read manga about it!"

"This kid has insulted me so many times, nothing they say gets to me anymore." "You're ugly as hell." "You take that back-"

"Have you been here the entire time?" "Yes! I love watching you do your best before I save you and make you look stupid."

"So, uh... how can I befriend a demon?" "You don't." "Okay, but what if it's really annoying?"

"Hey, guys- oh my god, are they alright?" "Hm? Oh, yeah. This happens every weekend, don't worry about it."

"Are you actually this cool and mysterious, or are you fronting about it? If you're actually this cool I might be jealous."

"My favorite person in the world!" "I literally hope you die." "Aw, it's so good to see you!"

[snapsicle]

da da da da da da da da 🎶🎵 🎶

[koskela13]

Skrawl: Was everyone satisfied with how close we came to taking over ChalkZone this time?

Beanie Boys: YEAH!

Skrawl: Even though the super device hard-crashed on startup, the timing on your entrances was all off, and ONE OF YOU CAPTURED THE WRONG CHALK BOY AND GENIUS GIRL?!

Doofus Rudy: Why, hello, it is we, Rudy and Penny!

Doofus Penny: (studying Skrawl’s body structure) My goodness! This potato insect man is quite a fascinating specimen.

Skrawl: (gives his henchmen a haunting death glare)

Beanie Boys: (in a vocal tone that basically says “Oh, smoof”) Yeah?

Skrawl: (swats Doofus Penny away) WRONG! You made me look like an imbecile out there!

[defuckingthrone-dot-com]

what a hawt ass doofus, I wanna be the penny board so we can ride 😈

Goof