#Dont live with friends its a trap and you will lose friends over it

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Bluesky and enshittification

NEXT WEEKEND (November 8-10), I'll be in TUCSON, AZ: I'm the GUEST OF HONOR at the TUSCON SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION.

I would like to use Bluesky. They've done a bunch of seriously interesting technical work on moderation and ranking that I truly admire, and I've got lots of friends there who really enjoy it.

But I'm not on Bluesky and I don't have any plans to join it anytime soon. I wrote about this in 2023: I will never again devote my energies to building up an audience on a platform whose management can sever my relationship to that audience at will:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/06/fool-me-twice-we-dont-get-fooled-again/

When a platform can hold the people you care about or rely upon hostage – when it can credibly threaten you with disconnection and exile – that platform can abuse you in lots of ways without losing your business. In other words, they can enshittify their service:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/08/17/hack-the-planet/#how-about-a-nice-game-of-chess

I appreciate that the CEO of Bluesky, Jay Graber, has evinced her sincere intention never to enshittify Bluesky and I believe she is totally sincere:

https://www.wired.com/story/bluesky-ceo-jay-graber-wont-enshittify-ads/

But here's the thing: all those other platforms, the ones where I unwisely allowed myself to get locked in, where today I find myself trapped by the professional, personal and political costs of leaving them, they were all started by people who swore they'd never sell out. I know those people, the old blogger mafia who started the CMSes, social media services, and publishing platforms where I find myself trapped. I considered they friends (I still consider most of them friends), and I knew them well enough to believe that they really cared about their users.

They did care about their users. They just cared about other stuff, too, and, when push came to shove, they chose the worsening of their services as the lesser of two evils.

Like: when your service is on the brink of being shut down by its investors, who demand that you compromise on privacy, or integrity, or quality, in some relatively small way, are you really going to stand on principle? What about all the users who won't be harmed by the compromise, but will have their communities and online lives shattered if you shut down the company? What about all the workers who trusted you, whose family finances will be critically imperilled if you don't compromise, just a little. What about the "ecosystem" partners who've bet on your service, building plug-ins, add-ons and services that make your product better? What about their employees and their employees' families?

Maybe you tell yourself, "If I do this, I'll live to fight another day. I can only make the service better for its users if the service still exists." Of course you tell yourself that.

I have watched virtually every service I relied on, gave my time and attention to, and trusted, go through this process. It happened with services run by people I knew well and thought highly of.

Enshittification can be thought of as the result of a lack of consequences. Whether you are tempted by greed or pressured by people who have lower ethics than you, the more it costs to compromise, the fewer compromises you'll make.

In other words, to resist enshittification, you have to impose switching costs on yourself.

That's where federation comes in. On Mastodon (and other services based on Activitypub), you can easily leave one server and go to another, and everyone you follow and everyone who follows you will move over to the new server. If the person who runs your server turns out to be imperfect in a way that you can't endure, you can find another server, spend five minutes moving your account over, and you're back up and running on the new server:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/04/pick-all-three/#agonism

Any system where users can leave without pain is a system whose owners have high switching costs and whose users have none. An owner who makes a bad call – like removing the block function say, or opting every user into AI training – will lose a lot of users. Not just those users who price these downgrades highly enough that they outweigh the costs of leaving the service. If leaving the service is free, then tormenting your users in this way will visit in swift and devastating pain upon you.

That not only helps you steer clear of rationalizing your way into a bad compromise: it also stops your investors and other people with leverage over you from pressuring you into taking actions that harm your users. These devils only sit on your shoulder, whispering temptations and threats, because they think that you can make things worse without spoiling their investment. They're not cruel, they're greedy. They will only insist on enshittification that they believe they can profit from. If they understand that forcing you to enshittify the service will send all your users packing and leave them with nothing, they will very likely not force you to wreck your service.

And of course, if they are so greedy that they force your hand anyway, then your users will be able to escape. Your service will be wrecked and you'll be broke, which sucks for you, but you're just one person and your pain is vastly outweighed by the relief for the millions of people who escape your service when it goes sour.

There's a name for this dynamic, from the world of behavioral economics. It's called a "Ulysses Pact." It's named for the ancient hacker Ulysses, who ignored the normal protocol for sailing through the sirens' sea. While normie sailors resisted the sirens' song by filling their ears with wax, Ulysses instead had himself lashed to the mast, so that he could hear the sirens' song, but could not be tempted into leaping into the sea, to be drowned by the sirens.

Whenever you take a measure during a moment of strength that guards against your own future self's weakness, you enter into a Ulysses Pact – think throwing away the Oreos when you start your diet.

There is no such thing as a person who is immune to rationalization or pressure. I'm certainly not. Anyone who believes that they will never be tempted is a danger to themselves and the people who rely on them. A belief you can never be tempted or coerced is like a belief that you can never be conned – it makes you more of a mark, not less.

Bluesky has many federated features that I find technically admirable. I only know the CEO there slightly, but I have nothing but good opinions of her. At least one of the board members there, Mike Masnick, is one of my oldest friends and comrades in the fights for user rights. We don't agree on everything, but I trust him implicitly and would happily give him the keys to my house if he needed a place to stay or even the password for my computer before I had major surgery.

But even the best boards can make bad calls. It was just a couple years ago that we had to picket to stop the board of ISOC – where I had several dear old friends and comrades – from selling control of every .ORG domain to a shadowy hedge-fund run by mustache-twirling evil billionaires:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/12/how-we-saved-org-2020-review

Bluesky lacks the one federated feature that is absolutely necessary for me to trust it: the ability to leave Bluesky and go to another host and continue to talk to the people I've entered into community with there. While there are many independently maintained servers that provide services to Bluesky and its users, there is only one Bluesky server. A federation of multiple servers, each a peer to the other, has been on Bluesky's roadmap for as long as I've been following it, but they haven't (yet) delivered it.

That was worrying when Bluesky was a scrappy, bootstrapped startup with a few million users. Now it has grown to over 13 million users, and it has taken on a large tranche of outside capital:

https://fediversereport.com/on-bluesky-and-enshittification/

Plenty of people have commented that now that a VC is holding Bluesky's purse-strings, enshittification will surely follow (doubly so because the VC is called "Blockchain Capital," which, at this point, might as well be "Grifty Scam Caveat Emptor Capital"). But I don't agree with this at all. It's not outside capital that leads to enshittification, it's leverage that enshittifies a service.

A VC that understands that they can force you to wreck your users' lives is always in danger of doing so. A VC who understands that doing this will make your service into an empty – and thus worthless – server is far less likely to do so (and if they do, at least your users can escape).

My publishing process is a lot of work and adding another service to it represents a huge amount of future labor:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/13/two-decades/#hfbd

But I would leap into Bluesky and gladly taken on all that extra work, every day – if I knew that I couldn't get trapped there.

I don't know why Bluesky hasn't added the federation systems that would enable freedom of exit to its service. Perhaps there are excellent technical reasons to prioritize rolling out the other systems they've created so far. Frankly, it doesn't matter. So long as Bluesky can be a trap, I won't let myself be tempted. My rule – I don't join a service that I can't leave without switching costs – is my Ulysses Pact, and it's keeping me safe from danger I've sailed into too many times before.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/02/ulysses-pacts/#tie-yourself-to-a-federated-mast

[chiiyuuvv]

[DAY 8] masterlist ᡣ𐭩 !

— " you ganging up against your friends during a game and being smug afterwards " ; a's oblivious to b's feelings ft. riize

♡list : @lecheugo , @imthisclosetokms , @rizzkisworld , @hyvelxve , @starryriize

The room erupts in laughter, your laughter. "and lets see.." seunghan, your partner, says, "thats two spaces forward but oh wait! I land on the space where i can take two more spaces. Going up the board, kicking sungchan hyung out of the way so you have to start over, past antons trap and boom, im in first place." Seunghan lets out a long sigh in triumph, wiping the fake sweat from his brows as sungchan scuffs.

"This is no fair.. hate this game." He grumbles to himself, and to his partner beside him, anton. "Who's turn is it?" Seunghan askes, with his signature smirk, leaning on his arm in confidence.

He eyes sohee when he raises his hand, grabbing the dice to cage into his hands before shaking and releasing it. "10!" Sohee announces, moving his figure — he knocks over sungchan again, making the latter scoff once more. He falls into antons trap so two points were deducted, but he still manages to be one space ahead of seunghan.

"WHAT!" the said boy says loudly, the rest of the boys secretly rolling their eyes because they know seunghan didn't care about the game, hes just trying to put up a fake persona to impress you. And to their misfortune, its working. With a gasp, you quickly get up to roll your dice, helping seunghan out by placing him three steps ahead of sohee. "Oh my god, thank you." He begins. "I could almost kiss you."

Do it then, the boys think to themselves, before sighing, and continuing their game. "You counted it wrong," eunseok said directed to you. "Since taro hyung has a counter, you lose your points, and sohees still in the lead."

"NOOOO!!" Seunghan shouts again, waving his fist in the air as if its the ceiling fault. "Its okay," you reason, grabbing his fist. "We'll get them by the end of the game anyways." Seunghan immediately calms down under your touch, his voice suddenly small as he blushes like crazy. "Oh my, are you okay?! Are you sick or something?? Guys i think he has a feve-"

"OH MY GOD!" wonbin erupts, flipping over the board game. "Hey, why did you do tha-"

"HE LIKES YOU IDIOT! HE'S BEEN TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU THIS ENTIRE TIME! YOU THINK HE LIKES THIS GAME?? HE SKIMMED THE INSTRUCTIONS WHEN HE HEARD YOU WERE COMING! GOD!" an angry wonbin runs his hands through his hair, walking out of the living room and to the bathroom as shotaro chases after him, making sure he doesnt break anything along the way.

You and the boys sit in silence, before you whip your head to the latter. "You.. like me??" Your voice was as small as seunghans.

"Apparently its obvious.." he plays with his fingers, sending you a glance. "I like you a lot-"

"AHHH!! go get a room, i dont want to watch you make out." Anton covers his eyes along with everyone else, waving you off. With a grin, seunghan gets up, lacing your hands together before leading you to his room. You were definitely going to suffer a heart attack tonight, and so was he. How nice.

[puhpandas]

I like that a lot of the tragedy about new fnaf is about how everyone lived, in contrast to the tragedy of old fnaf where everyone died

like gregory vanessa cassie the animatronics everyone had their lives ripped away from them because of the same source, but they didnt end after that.

the animatronics 'lived', but it was in an abandoned falling apart building while they're broken themselves and slowly losing their sanity. gregory survived the mimic and ggy and the streets but he'll never get back those years of childhood he lost or his parents or friends or old life and he has to live with that and the trauma from everything forever

vanessa lost her life and her free will right as she would have been free from her dad for good and was still put down and hated even as her alter ego. she was forced to leave her little support systems and drag other people into the same boat as her and kill people and after she gets freed abruptly she just has to. get back on her feet. and get a job and take care of Gregory and Freddy and somehow keep living a life as normal as anyone else but things are so different and she doesnt get a chance to sit and process everything

cassie doesnt die in the elevator crash and instead goes on to be trapped underground with something getting in her head. she gets taken over all alone by herself thinking that vanny was a friend and getting 'betrayed' again. once again someone's life is ripped away from them as they're forced to serve this virus, and its made a hundred times worse because no matter what it happened to cassie because Gregory wasnt fast enough. and theres so much tragedy in Gregory failing to stop what happened to him from happening to someone else let alone his best friend

and the tragedy that none of them will ever be free despite how they live on unless they kill the mimic and vanny for good, but theyve always just been too scared to do it. "the family missed the greatest opportunity of their lives" "the woman would kill the witch in the morning" they didnt kill them both when they could have and now other people are getting hurt along with themselves having to deal with it again after thinking they were okay.

and theres also tragedy in the glamrocks and how they lived in the pizzaplex. no matter how you view their sentience theyll always be seen as characters and machines and not real people despite how theyre literally alive and living. and alongside that in canon they push the idea of the animatronics not wanting to fit themselves into the character box (freddy) or not feeling like they deserve to be who they're supposed to (roxy) or not even trying to fit the bill because they're so overtaken with anger at it all (monty) or their programming making them crazy and obsessed with their characters gimmick so they're always trapped no matter what (chica). and how fronnie loved eachother but not only would the brand not have allowed it but bonnie gets decommissioned and Fazbear entertainment doesn't see it as worth it to keep him in the character roster so they just. dont. and Freddy has to deal with how unfair that is.

I just love SW era fnaf and how they do tragedy it's very interesting and cool

[melodyfsoul1]

Sth I find interesting after watching the Loki Series Finale, and seeing everyone's reactions to it, is that you can immediately tell what someone's priorities were for the ending (ships aside)

Because depending on what your priorities for the Story or Loki as a Character were, people are either really hyped / optimistic for the future ... or just really freaking depressed right now.

Like on the positive side we have Loki:

- finally finding his "Glorious Purpose", his place in... well "outside" the world/ universe, becoming an even greater being, while his story comes full circle

- reaching his full potential, unlocking new powers, new magic, and being the God of Stories

- becoming one of the most powerful beings in the MCU, and hey maybe he's even able to travel freely through time now and not trapped at the space outside of time

- creating Yggdrasil and protecting it, and by that, saving his friends and the Multiverse, being a true hero

__________

But then on the other side we have the more pessimistic view of Loki:

- finding his "Glorious" Purpose, taking over the burden of a throne he realized he never wanted, but doing it because it was the only option he saw to save his friends and the multiverse ( though I wouldnt even call it a choice, he just resigned himself to accept it because the other options where helping the current HWR, killing Sylvie, risking a universal war or death by spaghettification....)

- making the ultimate sacrifice by chosing to "give everyone else a chance at life" over his own needs, his own future, his desire to be with his friends...

- now having the huge responsible of keeping the multiverse alive & intact for all eternity

And do we even know if he can travel freely through time? (I hope so), but how much power does it take him? What if protecting Yggdrasil means he cant leave the space outside time? That would mean he is trapped there, for all eternity, alone, having to watch over his friends without actually being able to interact with them. He will be able to see that they are okay (hopefully), but he will never be a part of their lives again.... Loki, the very character who explicitely said he doesnt want to be alone...

So depending on how you view it, the ending was either really epic, with Loki getting several upgrades and creating a new era for the MCU

or

Somewhere between bittersweet and incredibly dreadfully tragic with Loki making the ultimate sacrifice, losing everything he just worked so hard to keep (after all the struggles of his original timeline too with Thanos) with Loki probably never being part of any of their stories again, damned to eternal loneliness.

(I'm personally more the 2nd type... I do get the others point of view, it was epic and Loki unlocking his true potential as the God of Stories is insane, GOS Loki is one of my faves in the comics. And my GOD the imagery of Yggdrasil was freaking gorgeous.

But... my main priority was "Loki, for ONCE, getting a chance at life, to be himself, live, with his new found friends/ family at his side..." so you can guess how freaking sad I am over the ending... hell I dont even care about the ships, I just didnt want him to be alone... I just wanted him to have a friend...

Its like, no matter what or where, whether its the OG Timeline Loki, or L1130 or even in the comics... Loki is meant to be a sacrifice for the "greater good" or to suffer trying change or even help, like he did in the comics as Kid Loki and Agent of Asgard.

That being said, I still cling to the hope that Loki can either freely travel through time now or somehow find a way to get in contact with his friends again... of them finding a way to get to him... please, Marvel, I need a Loki who is allowed to be happy, he certainly deserves it.

[joodles98]

do u ever think about raileon as being two sides of the same coin? the dragon guarding a castle and the king who loves his subjects yet is trapped in a tower. childhood friends (perchance) turned into friendly rivals and eventually lovers.

do you think they idolized red and blue as kids or teens (depending on how old you think they are bc in my mind reguri are slightly older, maybe like late 20s while raileon are early 20s) and they dont talk about it but you can clearly see the parallels of battle prodigy child who goes on to be champion and rival who ends up becoming the 8th gym leader who prefers double battles plus a researcher (and both r super gay)

yes to all of that a million times ❗️these characters are so intertwined to me.

i have all kinds of scattered thoughts

i think leon would have invited rednblue to galar to get their input/expertise in creating his battle tower (since they have the experience in setting up the battle tree 😋)

blue would love how cutthroat the galar league is/the gym leadership system, also really enjoy the commercial appeal of it/spectacle of the stadiums. red doesnt really care for any of that but he fucking loves gigantamaxing his charizard. he feels his cool meter thru the roof. when he sees gigantamax pikachu for the first time his heart explodes

there is something to say about red and leon confronting its hard(scary) to go back home. but its nice to have someone on your side to remind you of who you are and who you can be.

red especially, who "threw away" the obligations of being champ because the core of his journey was to test the limits of his strength, learn and grow, and battle for the sake of it because its what he loves to do. period. (and ending up becoming a hero just because he saw abuses of power and knew he could stop it, since no one else was.) leon realizes that living and battling really could be simple and fundamental once he's free of the excess of championing lol, and the only real pressure and maintenance of reputation comes from a personal definition within. that's it.

red as a character, to me at least, symbolizes we get to choose what we let go of, what we carry on, and what's new that we'll venture into. nobody's judgement, no matter how big or loud it seems, can "make" us do anything, that is, if we have the courage to decide what defines us and act accordingly

basically. i think red is a character who is the epitome of authenticity (the responsibility we have to our own life and dreams.) he is just doing his thing forever fuck the haters. mad respect. everybody can learn from him

on the other hand, i think leon symbolizes possibility. the way identity is a constant process. like the many lives we have the fortune to live in our one life, if we have the courage and resilience to begin again. (resilience and not stubborn kind that makes you blind to opportunity. im talking like a strong acceptance of reality, unwavering belief that life is meaningful. i think that's what leon's growth arc is about 🤧)

blue and leon could become drinking buddies over the self-reinventing journeys they undertook after losing 🫣. its so fascinating to compare the outcomes of someone who was champ for less than an hour vs. someone who was champ for over 10 years (a whole childhood/teenagedom!). also considering leon just had a whole fucking terrible week before his loss that probably already put his identity on shaky foundation. (the darkest day and losing to eternatus in front of hop. being betrayed by rose. etc).

when i think of older blue and post game leon they are a reminder of at the end of the day its that you gotta make sure the things you do is for You

baseline reguri for me is that blue never actually "hated" red. jealousy and frustration can make a kid who just wants recognition and praise pretty volatile. for raihan, especially when he was younger, he had to be pretty vigilant to not let his jealously of leon taint their friendship/rivaly. it could be a factor in his investment of a personal brand and celebrity through his influencer status(quiet his inner doubt/impostor syndrom/make up for the he perceivs he lacks).

but i also think raihan's interest in history makes him the contextual thinking type to have been skeptical of leon's experience as champion, especially since leon's hard to read. (the way they both have different types of trust issues. lol) it kinda protected his heart from being too hurt of the physical distance leon's championing put in their friendship over the years too, especially since their rivalry continued on into a professional, profitable setting and they both had images to maintain. (whereas red and blue are coworkers also lol, but working side by side.)

i want to talk about raileon slow burn so bad but i have to go to work rn 😭

[adventure-showdown]

What is your favourite Doctor Who story?

ROUND 2 MASTERPOST

synopses and propaganda under the cut

Anachrophobia

Synopsis

Imagine a war. A war that has lasted centuries, a war which has transformed an entire planet into a desolate No Man's Land. A war where time itself is being used as a weapon.

You can create zones of decelerated time and bring the enemy troops to a standstill. You can create storms of accelerated time and reduce the opposition to dust in a matter of seconds.

But now the war has reached a stalemate. Neither the Plutocrats nor the Defaulters have made any gains for over a hundred years.

The Doctor, Fitz and Anji arrive at Isolation Station Forty, a military research establishment on the verge of a breakthrough. A breakthrough which will change the entire course of the war.

They have found a way to send soldiers back in time. But time travel is a primitive, unpredictable and dangerous business. And not without its own sinister side effects...

Propaganda

YOU THINK MIDNIGHT IS SCARY? YOU THINK MIDNIGHT IS HORROR? TRY READING ANACHROPHOBIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! imagine. there is a war that has been raging for centuries between two groups - the plutocrats and the defaulters (YEAH THIS IS ALSO A COMMENTARY ON THE FUTILITY OF CAPITALISM AND WAR ECONOMICS!) - and both sides have developed time technology that allows them to either Speed Time Up (which can age someone to dust in the span of a few seconds) or Slow Time Down (trapping someone in a single second for millennia). the doctor and his friends are trapped in a military base that is studying time travel. they send a pod into the past, but when it comes back it brings Something With It. something that makes people Lose Their Whole Past and relive moments again and again. and also turns their faces into clocks. read this fuckkng book (@eightdoctor )

ANACHROPHOBIA ANACHROPHOBIA ANACHROPHOBIA ITS SO GOOD ITS SO GOOD YOU DONT UNDERSTAND YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. IT DEALS WITH THE TIME JUST AFTER (TWO BOOKS AFTER) THE DOCTOR HAD HIS SECOND HEART REMOVED AND IT DOES IT SO WELL. ‘‘LIKE A MAN WHO HAS LOST AN ARM STILL BEING ABLE TO SENSE MOVEMENTS IN HIS FINGERS. LIKE A MAN WHO STILL SOMETIMES FEELS THE BEAT OF A SECOND HEART’’ ARATFTFY ITS SO GOOD IT CHANGED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY. THE LAST TWO BOOKS (MAD DOGS AND ENGLISHMEN + HOPE) DIDNT MENTION MUCH ABOUT THE EFFECTS OF LOSING AN ENTIRE FUCKING HEART BUT ANACHROPHOBIA IS ALL ABOUT IT. THE DOCTOR IS SICK, WEAKER THAN USUAL, FITZ AND ANJI ARE CONCERNED, SO CONCERNED THEY’RE WONDERING IF HE CAN LIVE WITH ONLY ONE HEART. THEY GET OXYGEN CANNISTERS AND A MASK OUT FOR HIM JUST IN CASE!!!!! AND OH THE BODY HORROR OH THE BODY HORROR. IT'S GOOD ITS SO GOOD. AND SABBATH IS IN IT AND HES DISGUISED AS A GUY (ISN'T REVEALED UNTIL THE END) AND HE PRETENDS TO PANIC WHEN HE REALISES HIS COWORKERS ARE DEAD AND IT MAKES ME FEEL SICK SO SICK WHEN I REALISED HIS EMOTION WAS FAKE. ITS GOOD ITS SO GOOD ITS SO FUCKING GOOD (nix)

Alien Bodies

Synopsis

On an island in the East Indies, in a lost city buried deep in the heart of the rainforest, agents of the most formidable powers in the galaxy are gathering. They have been invited there to bid for what could turn out to be the deadliest weapon ever created.

When the Doctor and Sam arrive in the city, the Time Lord soon realises they've walked into the middle of the strangest auction in history — and what's on sale to the highest bidder is something more horrifying than even the Doctor could have imagined, something that could change his life forever.

And just when it seems things can't get any worse, the Doctor finds out who else is on the guest list.

Propaganda

Doctor ends up at an auction for his own dead body (anonymous)

One of the most notable Eighth Doctor books, the first by Lawrence Miles and the beginning of Faction Paradox. Generally very good. (anonymous)

Banger of a story where 8 goes to an auction in order to purchase 3's dead body. Then the weird shit starts happening. (@eighthdoctor )

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

wild dream. Sorry its long: there was this tall wirey gaunt looking old man who was a gemini and he was obsessively in love with me. He was poor he lived in a big white van like a moving truck type vehicle. And He wanted to give me money. so he pretended to lose control of his truck while driving down a narrow street & plowed thru crowds of people, eventually crashing into this taco truck that belonged to his friend. i was in the back of the mans truck while this was happening but somehow escaped just b4 the crash. the two trucks were burning as everyone gathered around to watch. The man ran to me looking frantic & hurried me into a nearby pub to hide me. in the pub were random famous ppl drinking .. at this point the man explained to me he and his friend had come up with the plan to crash their trucks on purpose so they cld get insurance payouts and he cld give me thousands of dollars from it. i felt uncomfortable and afraid as i didnt ask for any money in the first place and dont want to b responsible for this money he attained fraudulently.

i felt he was treating me as an accesory to his crime in order to trap me and i got so anxious i literally had to shit LOL. BUT the only fucking toilet in the establishment was just in the middle of the bar with no stalls so i had to shit in front of everyone. And in a way i was fine w this as i knew all the others drinking there regualrly wld have had to do the same at some point. no one paid attention. Once i was done my friend Mel (who's also a gemini irl) came into the bar because she worked there, she was wearing a cute outfit with bright colors and butterfuly clips in her hair. Oh i forgot to mention for this dream i was also wearing a very over the top cutesy outfit like an 80s/90s idol creamy mami huge poofy skirt and ribbons. Mel took me into the back room to help me hide. we talked for a while and she affirmed i need to stay away from that man. last thing i remember her saying "No more breaking the law for you!" and i woke up from noises in the house. Weird ass complicated dream.

[causenessus]

hi my dearest loveliness !! good evening afternoon OR morning I HOPE YOUR DAY IS GOING WELL TODAY!! AND I HOPE YOUVE EATEN!! i literally just woke up (it’s 3pm…. my parents literally watched me come out of my room and were like ???)(you just woke up???)LMFAO BUT BUT i’m back to work tomorrow so i wanted to sleep in a lot today(I HAVE A 9-5:30 RIGHT OFF THE BAT)(MY WORK HATES ME??)but omg i just saw the ask from sav(sorry am i allowed to call her that too)(IM SORRY IDK) and i was like AWWWW “you and your mango anon” I AM NESS’ MANGO ANON idk why i thought it was so cute and sweet like YOU GIGGLE AND READ THEM?? THATS SO CUTE?? IM GONNA EXPLODE?? but let’s all yap together this is yap central(a safe place for yappers)

omg last night i got so many notifs if you answering every ask bat to bat and I FELT SO BAD BECAUSE I WROTE A LOT YESTERDAY BUT YOU STILL ANSWERED EACH ASK WITH LIKE SO SO MUCH PASSION??(idk if that’s the right word) but you always answer each ask with ur heart like non of it is halfassed(sorry am i allowed to swear)(IVE BEEN REFRAINING FROM SWEARING BECAUSE IDK I DONT THINK IVE SEEN YOU SWEAR OUTSIDE YOUR SMAUS???)(or idk i’m crazy i think i’m crazy)

I WOULD SHARE WHAT CONCERT IT WAS LIKE I WAS GOING TO but i was like omg i’m gonna dox myself LOL BUT actually you know what’s so funny i don’t even live in the states(LORE DROP) ALSO DECLAN MCKENNA?? THATS SO COOL THAT YOU GOT TO SEE HIM i think he’s on tour again right now?? or just performing right now (I THINK) im pretty sure i saw on ticketmaster! i would 100% go but literally my bank account is decreasing a little too much for my liking and it’s time to lock in and go ultra saving mode LOL BUT OMG MITSKI??? stop it if i was rich i would 100% fly over to your state and buy tickets for you and me and we could go together and have our losing dogs moment(on repeat by eggy always in my heart)(literally one of my fav smaus LOL)

ness i will read every single part of your response LITERALLY I WILL READ AND ABSORB EVERY PART SO do not worry your pretty little head(as i said this i imagined myself tapping your head with a pretty little fairy stick)BUT OMG ME AND YOU WORKING AT ILLEGAL AGES(actually actually hold on)okay because i started working my retail job when i was 15 but i was like a week away from turning 16 but they accepted me anyways? idk it’s kind of silly but i remember saying i was 15 but turning 16 in a “few days” (i think it was a week and a bit) and they were like mmmm okay! here’s your training days blah blah blah LOL listen i really wanted a job… i always felt bad asking my parents for money so i was like you know what ILL get my own money(here i am 2-3 years later still trapped in retail)also i totally get the hostess thing because my friend works at olive garden as a hostess and like it SOUNDS SO STRESSFUL? because like… you’re kinda in control of how much tips a person gets? (if that makes sense) and it just feels ITS TOO STRESSFUL FOR ME TO FANTOM LIKE i cant i feel like im too much of a people pleaser where id just be like oh! oh you don’t want this table? okay! oh i have you too many tables? i’m sorry! my bad! let me do it! ALSO IDK i hate fixed schedules like i like the random rotation every week LOL like it’s kinda a surprise!! like omg what days am i working today type of thing you know! BUT OMG THEM KEEPING YOU ON STANDBY IS CRAZY AFTER YOU QUIT LOL they love you so much they want to keep you <3 i can’t blame them <3 ness is a very lovable person <3 but restaurant environments are different from retail idk how you do it like I APPAUD YOU AND EVERY OTHER RESTAURANT WORKER because like dealing with hangry people everyday like… i already deal with impatient customers which make me wanna pull my hair like i remember one time during this rush we had everyone on cash like everyone on the tills right and this guy came up to my till and he’s like “yall need more workers” LIKE CANT YOU SEE EVERYONE ON THE TILLS RIGHT NOW??WE ARE TRYING OUR BEST !! and i was deadass like “haha sorry….. would you like a bag for 50 cents?”

ALSO YOURE SO BUSY WHAT?? your schedule is so jacked up HOW DO YOU DO IT??? like literally uni + job AND THEATRE??? and also the fact that you have more than one job?? PLS PLS PLS EAT AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF LOVE YOURE GONNA BURN OUT </3

omg if i worked lights with you it would’ve been so so so much better like i’m not discrediting the light people i worked with BUT it was the fact that they were a year younger right so they didn’t really know what they were doing since all our light crew graduated and for some reason people didn’t like doing lights as much? so they were just first years doing lights and i had to help out a bunch and kind of guide them BCUZ IDK WHY MY TECH TEACHER DIDNT DO IT RIGHT so i had to focus on sound PLUS helping the lights people which i don’t really mind too much when we’re just having rehearsals but like during shows i was a little more stressed because they weren’t that confident and was always asking just to make sure and it was 100% not their fault of course but I WAS STILL STRESSED and doing my hardest to help him while trying to also keep track of where the play was(sorry very messy)(i too am like you and i do NOT proof read these whatsoever) IF I COULD I WOULD DROP EVERYTHING AND FLY THERE !! we could be the light + sound duo because i literally miss my tech days like i lowkey thought about doing it in uni but IDK WHY I DIDNT !! I SHOULDVE !! also another suna smau would heal me (LMFAO NO PRESSURE) BUT I LITERALLY LOVE ALL OF INARIZAKI?? like they all have my heart(especially kita and osamu like oh my god)BUT OH MY GOD IF YOU DO I THINK ILL CRY LIKE “OMG THATS ME GUYS” “I AM MANGO ANON !!!” BUT you have sooooo much stuff lined up so DO NOT WORRY TOO MUCH!! what you’ve been giving right now (TRY AGAIN AND TONICS <333) is already so good like the idea and concepts AND IM SO EXCITED FOR THEM TOO AHH

THE CAST NOT BEINF ABLE TO PROJECT THEIR VOICES ARE SO REAL !!! maybe i’m just saying this because i only did plays in high school right so it was a bunch of kids right but it was soooo frustrating because like SPEAK UP but also the fact that some cast got better mics than others? like tell me why i can’t hear this lead but i can hear this random person playing a citizen like?? BUT LITERALLY WHEN MICS DIE I LITERALLY WANNA JUST FALL TO THE FLOOR LIKE and the director is just like “keep going” LIKE DONT KEEP GOING WHAT? I CANT HEAR? like i literally feel like i have to focus my energy like some type of anime character to my ears just to hear a SNIPPET of what they’re saying but then sometimes i get in trouble for missing cues </3 LIKE I’M SORRY IT ISNT MY FAULT LIKE MAYBE GET BETTER SPEAKERS AND MICS?? also not you literally running the whole tech crew like rewiring the motherboard and climbing stuff like ness mvp tech girl LOL BUT I GET NOT WANTING TO THINK ABOUT THOSE TIMES LIKE i swear all tech/cast crew environments are SO toxic like i literally remember one of the cast fainting because like we literally got no breaks at all so she was probably overwhelmed with the lighting and everything else then that’s when the director was like ok… let’s take a break like YOU THINK??

ALSO YOURE SO RIGHT if the previous men i’ve talked to is on tumblr reading cutesy little haikyuu x femreader stuff THEN THATS ANOTHER PROBLEM(NO STOP I LITERALLY GIGGLED SO HARD WHEN YOU SAID THAT LOL)(everytime i read your responses im always smiling and giggling like i always reread it too LOL) but omg ness… the quarantine online gaming breakout season is such a canon event like BECAUSE ME TOOOOO LOL(we are so soulmates) mine was a mix of minecraft and roblox and I LITERALLY MET A WHOLE GROUP ONLINE TOO IT WAS CRAZY the ptsd flashbacks is so real but THATS SO GIRLBOSS OF YOU LIKE YES!! CALL MEN OUT ON THEIR SHIT!!(sorry swearing again) BE NO MANS PEACE!! i will literally find him and politely beat him up for you <333 TIME FOR LORE DROP AND IF THE PERSON READS THIS THEN ??? WELL ??? oh well LOL but anyways so i was in this little online group idk i kind of just found them through twitter and i was like WHY NOT so i became friends with this guy he went by socks(discord names are so real)and like we got really close right and like he was the only person i really VC’d with (AND AND TO BE FAIR I THINK ITS BECAUSE WE WERE LIKE THE BABIES OF THE GROUP) like we were the same age while everyone else was like 19-25ish now(idk what i was doing hanging out with them as a minor but oh well)(i’m 18 now so it’s ok!)(but i literally don’t talk to any of them now LOL)but i remember this one specific conversation where he was like teaching me spanish?? because i don’t know i was teaching him viet too so it was just a silly little thing and i translated it(this was through texts like i still have the screenshot LOL) and he basically confessed to me through text in spanish right then afterwards they were like JK JK JK!! IDK idk if it was real or not but we drifted a lot after that so idk! sock if ur out there !! im sorry !! to be fair though they didn’t give me a chance to reply because i had to translate it then when i came back to the chat they were like IM JK IM JK SO idk! I GUESS WE’LL NEVER KNOW!! also i will def report back when i get a poke bowl but im very very picky about the way i eat raw fish bevause sometimes it’s okay but when there’s an overwhelming amount i kind of get scared and im like hmmm maybeeee.. not this time… LOL It really depends for me!! but maybe ill try the imitation crab one if i see it!

AND UR SO RIGHT ONE DAY I WILL COME TO YOU AND I WILL BE UR GUARD DOG AT WORK !!! i’m glad yesterday was better! hopefully it keeps getting better, i will fight off the bad omens for you ness i will stand in the front lines fighting them off I COULD NEVER BE DISAPPOINTED IN YOU but i will be a tiny tiny bit upset because I WANT YOU TO EAT WELL AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF !! eggs and toast is so real but don’t worry :( a meal is a meal and you did good by getting up and making yourself something small! little steps are okay, i will be here along the way so don’t worry! take your time <333 I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT REST OF YOUR DAY!! (it literally took me an hour to write this because now it’s 4:30)(BUT i did eat in between writing) I HAD RICE AND CHICKEN YIPPPPEE!! i had to take a little break to eat then i continued writing LOL(but so real on saying ill go back but you never do because … me too)(i’m too lazy to look back on what i wrote so ill just trust myself) (mango anon loves you very much pls take care of yourself) (ALSO) i just realized i could make the font smaller (thank you again sav for the idea) so it would be easier to scroll pass these LOL BUT ANYWAYS MAKE SURE TO EAT AND REST WELL !!! xoxoxoxo

HELLO MY LOVE!!! MY DAY WAS PRETTY OKAY!! BESIDES THE CAR CRISIS OFC 😭😭 AND PLEASE WAKING UP AT 3PM IS SO REAL I'VE DONE THAT BEFORE </33 AND ESPECIALLY IF U WORK A 9-5:30 TOMORROW DEFINITELY GET ALL THE SLEEP YOU CAN GET!! REST UP AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF PLS <3 MAKE SURE TO DRINK LOTS OF WATER AND BRING PLENTY WITH YOU TOMORROW AND PLEASE EAT!! and don't apologize at all you're def okay to call sav sav as well (i'm pretty sure!!) AND YOU ARE MY MANGO ANON <33 AND I LOVE U SM!! AND I LOVE UR PARANTHESES LMAO THEY'RE SO CUTE <3 YES YAP CENTRAL!!

AND omg mango anon i just have to tell you like how honored i am <3 like i feel so seen by you!! the way you see the passion in my writing and like notice that i don't curse outside of my writing pls :(( my face is literally going :((( rn /pos i try not to curse outside of my writing just bc it's not my thing!! but ofc you can and like sometimes i still do!! definitely do whatever you want AND SORRY FOR ALL THE NOTIFS YESTERDAY AND TODAY SINCE I'M DOING THE SAME THING LMAO 😭 i'm the one that lets them bunch up so dw about them at all!! and mango anon i genuinely love talking and replying to you so so much AND I'M REALLY SO THANKFUL FOR EVERY ASK FROM ANYONE SO OFC I'LL BE ANSWERING IT WITH PASSION!! I GET WHAT YOU MEAN ENTIRELY AND I'M GLAD THAT GETS ACROSS WELL <3 I JUST APPRECIATE YOU ALL SM <3

AND YOU DEF DON'T HAVE TO SAY WHAT CONCERT YOU WENT TO!! I WAS WORRIED ABOUT LIKE THAT DOXXING U OR SOMETHING bc i had no idea you didn't live in the states!!! i definitely automatically assumed that and that maybe u had went to a different state since we were in the same timezone for a little bit but that makes total sense and that was my bad for assuming 😭😭 BUT AA YES!! I'D LOVE TO SEE HIM AGAIN AND MAYBE I WILL <3 LIKE HIS TICKETS DEF ARE NOT BAD PRICING AND HE'S AMAZING!!! i'm just insanely broke and like ik he's touring with sabrina carpenter rn or something??? which is super cool and good for him!! and sabrina's cool but i don't think i'd enjoy or be able to afford her concerts 😭 and that's okay!! maybe my tickets were cheap the time i went to see him bc it was a little more niche <3 AND AAA YES I WISH WE COULD SEE MITSKI TOGETHER!! the entire crowd would be in tears over i bet on losing dogs like that's our national anthem FRFR!!!!

I WAS IMAGINING THE PRETTY LITTLE FAIRY STICK WITH U thank you for tapping my head <33 AND I ALSO READ ABSORB EVERYTHING U TELL ME SO PLEASE YAP AS MUCH AS YOU WANT!! AND DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT SMALL FONT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO <3 YOU DO WHATEVER YOUR PRETTY LITTLE HEART DESIRES!!! (i am giving ur heart a kiss rn mwah <3) BUT PLEASE THE ILLEGAL JOBS FR SOME PLACES BE CRAZY AND THEY STILL GET AWAY WITH IT!!! BUT YOU GET IT EXACTLY like at the restaurant i often work at we often just have a rotation with no server sections bc it's pretty small (i'd only be forced to do sections when i worked with my manager who made me want to DIE and made me cry once i literally ran out and cried next to a steakhouse across from us) and so basically i just sit people at random tables (i always ask them like "is this table okay?" and i'm not really asking them like girl i have better things to be doing than escorting you around this restaurant trying to see what table tickles your fancy the best. i just ask them so i don't sound super forward like "THIS IS YOUR TABLE SUCK IT UP." yk??) and whoever's turn it is next, they get it so i'll tell them like "table three for two people" so like I REALLY DO NOT CONTROL WHAT CUSTOMERS A SERVER GETS BUT THEY ALL COME AND COMPLAIN AT ME FOR HOW BAD THEIR TABLES ARE (probably bc they're trying to guilt trip me or be passive aggressive) BUT LIKE WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT?? I'M NOT PURPOSELY GIVING PEOPLE BAD OR GOOD TABLES LIKE 😭😭 and i'm sure it's even worse at places like olive garden which are way bigger! and you have to work with other hosts and more people so best of luck to your friend she's doing amazing <3 AND YOU GET IT!! LIKE IT'D PROABABLY BE NICE TO HAVE A FIXED SCHEDULE BUT ALSO I COULDN'T DO IT I LOVE BEING SCHEDULED ON RANDOM DAYS EVERY WEEK I NEVER KNOW WHAT'S COMING also the guy who told you you guys needed more workers??? THANK YOU SIR FOR STATING THE OBVIOUS!! I HAD NO IDEA, LET ME, JUST A PERSON WHO WORKS HERE, NOT A MANAGER OR ANYTHING, GO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!! IN FACT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST PUT ON AN APRON AND START HELPING SINCE WE NEED MORE WORKERS!! CONGRATS YOU'RE HIRED!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH MANGO ANON 😭 I ALREADY FEEL SO BURNT OUT I'M REALLY HOPING THINGS WILL CALM DOWN AFTER SEPTEMBER IG (WHEN I STOP WORKING TWO JOBS) OR BY NOVEMEBER AT LEAST (WHEN THEATRE IS OVER) BUT WE'LL SEE </3 i'm sure things will continue to come up but i fr just want to lay down and sleep until 3pm like u did today 😔😔 that sounds so nice </3

AND PLEASE WHY IS YOUR TECH THEATRE STORIES THE SAME AS MINE like i was a run and props kid until my school's musical sophomore year where we got these three boys who all wanted to do tech and we had too many run and props kids so i was like "yk what. let me go to lights so that hopefully u three can be together" which didn't even work out bc one of the boys got thrown into lights with me while the other two were on run and props but were on opposite wings LMAO and so that was my first show doing lights which i did board op for because it was also our last show of the year which was also our like senior who knew everything about lights' last show so after that she GRADUATED and i was the one left to figure everything out 😭😭 and then the year after we lost our senior that knew everything about sound so my senior year was a STRUGGLE omg...bad times. but then i left that department a mess bc i could no longer care. like that lights kid wanted my job so badly? fine, fend for urself bro i'm not teaching u anything (sorry i am spiteful against that kid still LMAO) I ALSO THOUGHT ABOUT DOING TECH IN UNI!! my junior year i was fully planning to go to school to get a bfa for lighting design (new grounds was such a self insert for me LMAO) and my tech director literally pushed me to do it but then i decided i really did not want to be in these toxic stressful environments for the rest of my life 😭 BUT IF I HAD YOU!!! I DEF ACTUALLY WOULDN'T MIND <3 WE WOULD BE THE BEST DUO EVER I KNOW IT!! WE'D BOTH KNOW HOW TO DO OUR JOBS AND THAT WOULD BE LITERALLY GROUND BREAKING!! i mean even just reading ur stories i could feel the stress of like managing EVERYTHING i am so sorry for u mango anon but i am with u completely and from one tech mother to another, thank u for ur services 🫡 (i say tech mother bc WOMEN IN STEM!! in my entire four years of high school our top of the mill techies were always girls until we had this one run and props guy ruin it 🙄 he's actually the same guy who i used to like and the one who my mutual friend tried to get us to go to prom together but like i would NEVER UGHGHGH sorry he's also so frustrating to deal with i need to stop thinking about those times and this is exactly why i didn't actually go into theatre for school LMAOO) BUT YES AAA!! I WILL UPDATE YOU ON THE SUNA TECH SMAU AND I LOVE ALL OF INARIZAKI TOO <33333 haruichi furudate really put his whole budget into that team like please everyone on there is so pretty and beautiful and amazing and pookie shaped i love them sm <33 AND LOWKEY i was feeling like a stage manager reader (probably usually audio head but is stage managing this show) x lights head suna...bc i think that'd just be a crazy dynamic of her lowkey being in a higher position than him and he's just teasing and messing with her the whole time..BUT IDK and ik like theatre works differently in college but THIS IS MY WORLD AND WRITING SO I'LL DO WHAT I WANT!! i also have absolutely nothing actually planned out for the smau so who even knows LMAO THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME TO TAKE MY TIME </3 THERE'S DEFINITELY SO MUCH I NEED TO DO AND TOO LITTLE TIME UEFBIEWIOEGLN

BUT I'M GLAD U HAD THE SAME EXPERIENCES WITH PEOPLE NOT STRUGGLING we did this one horror play (which was SUCH a mess. okay let me just say this. our stage manager full on just gave up like halfway thru and would sit next to me reading vampire books and so same lights kid that kept trying to steal my job decided that it was "UP TO HIM" to save the show HIS WORDS EXACTLY I REMEMBER HEARING ABOUT THIS when literally the entire show was going fine and so basically he was like overthrowing our stage manager and was taking it upon himself to stage manage instead and give cues and just OMG THAT SHOW WAS A MESS BUT ANYWAY) and our main character just would NOT project like she was always cranky the musical we did that year she would just not sing or talk and we were like bro...ur in a musical BUT ANYWAY she wouldn't project we literally ended up hanging a mic and putting a little speaker in the booth so we could hear her bc like it was so important that we heard her lines but we couldn't when we were in a booth behind four windows and a closed door 😭😭

AND HELP YOUR ONLINE STORIES??? I GIGGLED READING ABOUT HIM TEACHING YOU SPANISH AND YOU TEACHING HIM VIET BUT ALSO THE ENTIRE FRIEND GROUP BEING OLDER WHEN YOU WERE A MINOR WAS CRAZY BUT I CAN'T EVEN JUDGE BC THAT WAS ME TOO 😭😭 I FEEL LIKE THAT'S HOW IT ALWAYS IS FOR ME I'M LIKE ALWAYS ONE OF THE YOUNGEST PEOPLE IN A FRIEND GROUP but i cannot imagine what that guy was thinking (i LOVE DISCORD NAMES HOLD ON LET ME GO FIND THE NAME OF MY GUY i think he changed it bc it's froge now...but ANYWAY IT WAS SOMETHING LAME AND SO WAS HIS ROBLOX USER IT WAS PROBABLY SOMETHING LIKE DARK KNIGHT IDK) but i cannot imagine the stress socks was going thru </33 i bet he sent that and then u were like "oh let me go translate it!" and then he was like "OMG SHE DIDN'T RESPOND AND SHE WENT OFFLINE SHE HATES ME" and just flipped and said "jk" bc THERE'S NO WAY THAT WAS JUST A JOKE LIKE U DO NOT TEACH PEOPLE CONFESSIONS LIKE DID THE TAMING OF THE SHREW TEACH U PEOPLE NOTHING THAT IS SO OLD SCHOOL!! (i also never proofread these and just go on tangents and for that, i am sorry </3)

BUT I ALSO DON'T LIKE RAW FISH DW AT ALL!! like they have a hawaiian poke bowl too or something with all raw tuna and i'm like...yeah i'm good actually... and so my only other choice is imitation crab unfortunately 😭 BUT I HOPE YOU FIND SOMETHING GOOD AND LIKE IT!!

MANGO ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND IT WAS SO GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU <3 I ATE A BAGEL HALFWAY THROUGH THIS AS WELL (you can probably tell when i started eating it bc i was only typing with my left hand and probably didn't use as many crying emojis for a bit LMAO) AND I LOVE TALKING TO YOU!! I LOVE YOU <3 AND I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL!! I LOVE CHICKEN AND RICE AND I WILL MAKE SURE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF AS LONG AS YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!! DRINK LOTS OF WATER AND GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SHIFT TOMORROW!! <3

[postmail]

okay so biggg trans hc dump up ahead. idk how read mores work and i was sleep deprived as hell when i wrote this so idk

okay so trans maxwell right? trans maxwell. but consider that if one part of a pair of identical twins is trans then typically the other one will be too. so trans jack.

and thats just dandy and opens up a lot of interesting paths you could take with that. and look, ive got a whole deleted version of this post thats twice as long going over the whole wendy and abi thing, so just trust me when i say that ive thought about it, lol

and just listen to me. the idea that both jack and maxwell are trans makes me feel so much. perhaps the reason they seem to be rather close is because they share this one aspect of themself with the other.

imagine a nervous william admitting his darkest secret to his twin and finding out that the other has been dealing with the exact same thing the whole time. or jack putting on a brave face and telling william that he wishes he was born a boy and william saying that he feels the same, and that maybe they werent born that way but they could become who they know they are inside. neither of them will face this alone, so long as the other is there

contrast this with trans, hirsute wilson. wilson, who feels like no one in the world understands. no gets why hes happy he has hirsutism, and why he refuses to shave, because they think hes a woman. he cant tell them that he feel like his body has finally got the memo thats hes a man, that it feels right to be able to grow a beard. its no becoming cis over night, but it makes him feel better. gender euphoria and all that jazz

wilson feels like who he is in the inside is finally being reflected outwards. and if other people dont like the truth... well, he doesn’t need them anyhow. he knows who is, and thats all that matters.

when wilson moves to america, it is very much like turning a new leaf. here, he decided, he would live as a man- and nobody would ever know the truth. and it feels great. but it also feels very lonely. it feels very isolating, and he has a dark secret all over again. hes not lying to himself or others anymore, but he knows how fragile this new life is. one wrong move, one wrong person confided in, and this whole new life hes constructed for himself will crumble in front of his eyes.

all of this considered, is it so much of a shock that he withdraws himself, swearing the only friend he needs to be science? refusing to interact with others unless absolutely necessary, never letting himself get close to anyone. to protect himself

all of this compounds into living alone in a rickety shack in the woods, far from anyone else. never seeing anyone except the postman on the other side of the window.

wilson might pass much better, but he lacks something maxwell has- a support system, someone who understands him. this isolation protects him from the transphobia of the outside world, but its loneliness all the same

its this that makes him willing to listen to the smooth talking stranger over the radio. he has no one, and when even science itself seems to fail him, hes eager to hear out the first friendly voice hes heard in a long time.

when hes trapped in the constant, it almost feels like reality has come back to smack some sense into him. of course, of course this would happen, who was he kidding?

when he frees maxwell and then precedes to be freed himself it takes them both a long time to figure out that the other is trans. they are both very well trained in hiding this specific part of themselves, but theres only so long you can hide this kind of thing from some one you are literally surviving in the woods with

so when someone inevitably finds out, i think it would be a whole ordeal. if its maxwell figuring it out then i think he would be more chill about it but wilson would lose his goddamn mind. for the first time, wilson finally has someone who understands him and doesn’t judge him.

it would change everything. wilson gets more comfortable with maxwell than he ever has with anyone else and maxwell can understand and he can understand maxwell

its been so long since maxwell had had another person like him around, and its like a breath of fresh air. he doesnt have to watch what he says, he doesnt have to make sure that his voice doesnt sound too high, he can just be honest with who he is, and wilson wont judge him. infact, wilson almost seems to like him more because of it

maybe they try to go back to how they were after this reveal but they just cant. they know too much now to just go back to the way they were. and maybe they find that they dont really want to, anyways

they might be in hell, but theyve got each other.

all of this to say, t4t maxwil is the best maxwil. trans rights baybeeeeee

[eggs-can-draw]

now I am thinking, Kokichi pestering Hajime about his relationships all the time from the moment of his naegirigami realization, he sees his dad talk to someone or takes a liking to an adult that's babysitting him and he's immediately interrogating Hajime, Do you like them? Do you think they're pretty? Are they going to come over more often? Can they be my mom? Can Mikan be my mom since we have the same hair? Is Chiaki my mom? Can I have another dad? Why don't you marry Nagito? He also asks existing couples on Jabberwock if they'll adopt them into their family, and says Hajime owes him some siblings because he's no fun and a child needs someone to play with them and he whines so much when Hajime keeps telling him no, why doesn't his dad understand that he's making him lose a very important competition against Shuichi? Ah, one-sided rivalries are fun, and they're probably forced to spend a lot of the time together from early on, I don't know the details of what you planned for them, but I'd bet Shu was one of, if not The first kid his age Kokichi meets, because I don't think other RoDs had children during their despair arcs or immediately after, so it's a special kind of a relationship, when Shuichi's away he's scheming all the ways he could defeat his nemesis and drawing epic fights they could have and thinking up special pranks for when he visits again and he doesn't understand why all those adults are smiling at him and calling Shuichi his friend, they're enemies for life!

OH THIS IS MY OPPORTUNITY TO INFODUMP ABOUT THE V3 KIDDOS ON JABBERWOCK LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO ok first off there are other kids who arent Kokichi on Jabberwock dont worry he has people to play with Said kids are: Kaede - Tsubuki kid, she was adopted lol Rantaro - he just appeared one day, nobody really knows where he came from or where he lives but he seems(?) like he isn't homeless so nobody questions it Kibo - He's a collab project between Alter Ego and Souda! (I like to think they're friends I unno it just makes me smile) Usami and Nanami are also helping (gotta get the whole ai squad yknow Himiko - Sondam kid ✨ (How do they all go to HPES with the mainland kids? dont worry about it.)

Kokichi is, however, a little older than other kids in his age group (aside from Rantaro and Kaede who are in the same boat) because he was born pre-sdr2 whereas others were born somewhat after sdr2 (small mini tangent explanation, I extended the time between dr1 and sdr2 in this au so for reference, Kokichi was born around the same time Shuichi was born) Shu was very much the first kid his age that Kokichi met since Kokichi actually got to Jabberwock maybe a week or two after they all woke up from the NWP whereas all the other kiddos came around after they got their friends un-coma-ed (including Rantaro, its like iron golems in Minecraft he can only spawn once there are enough people around)

The thought of Kokichi trying some Parent Trap level shenanigans JUST TO ONE UP SHUICHI is simultaneously hilarious and so so so so so so so depressing I do think the (one-sided) rivalry calms down a bit and turns into "ok actually maybe possibly we can be friends" but not until after The Horrors (aka a little after they stars high school at NHPA)

I am a komahina enjoyer so I will say that Kokichi gets a second dad eventually but it takes like 10 years of slowburn (He still gets Komaeda as a dad figure tho since he's Kokichi's dedicated "Babysitter")

as for who Kokichi's other bio parent is?

Honestly it could be anyone!

[voidwritesstuff]

Angel Of Lost Hope AU

Cw: alusions to ptsd, nightmares and divorce, Desmond is in a coma like state.

Summary: Desmond Wales lost his battle to Agent Rainbow, now trapped within his own mind. Luckily, his patients find a way to reach put to him and possibly bring him back to the waking world. Alusions to age gap (between Lucas and jerico)

->AU idea Belongs to @theallenshorefangirl I'm just merely writing it.

->"Jerico" is my self insert. They're genderfluid and in this fic they use they/them.

->Sorry for the weird formatting.

->reblogs appreciated.

Well, this was a pickle.

Milton-haven and Its residents have been ramsacked with crime,insecurity and violence. Amidst it all people took comfort in the smaller things in life, loved ones, Friends, and some even went to therapy.

The pickle in question was that the town's reisdent psicologist, Dr.Desmond Wales, was...out of comission. Well, that was one way to put it.

--Well? Have you guys thought of anything?-- Virginia asked softly, handing Allen a cup of tea-- here

Allen, who was sitting on the couch looks up at the rest of his companions, his attention diverted to the Virginia for a quick moment-- thanks-- he answered giving her a nervous smile before returning to the rest of his companions.

Rosemary sighs audibly, passing a hand through her forehead, stress settled deep within her mind. In the background they can hear the heart monitor noise coming from Lucas' bedroom. --if we can create a diluted solution of agent rainbow, we might have a chance at taking him back, but if we dont do it right theres a risk we either succumb to our shadow or we die

Max raised a brow,arms crossed over his chest-- Well isn't that wonderfull?. How the hell do we beat our "shadow" self?

--Well,we'll have to fight them. Not in a physical sense but rather....-- the scientist trails off trying to find the right word-- accept them? They are all we repress About ourselves.. it would be a very shocking first engagement. Thats the part that could kill us, besides the chemical melting our brain

--Well that doesn't sound appealing-- Virginia muttered and Allen couldnt help but chuckle a little.

At this, the only person in the room that has not yet spoken was Lucas, the owner of the cabin that they were all in. The ex military Man leans on the door frame, arms crossed and setting his weight on his right leg. Hes deathly silent.

--Lucas?-- Rosemary calls out-- whats up?

--I'm going in-- he simply replied-- Now I understand if y'all don't. Max has his family and the rest of ya have a life. I lost enough people in mine, and 'm not 'bout to lose 'nother one

Then, the room quietens. Theres a sense both dread and indecisiveness, the sound of the heart monitor is almost deafening its both a grim reminder of why they were all there and a sliver of hope that Desmond was still in the realm of the living.

Allen's eyes fall on his tea,dark as night yet sweet to the taste,Much like him, he looked intimidating and people didn't really like him much, but truthfully he was a sweet guy, he just wanted to help people-- I'm going too, he helped me a lot and..it wouldn't be right for me to not help him back.

Rosemary looked at Desmond and then Lucas-- seems fitting I go too, I was the one who brought back that thing from retirement. I gotta set things right.

Virginia was nervously picking at the hem of her sleeve, the purple material soft to the touch-- if theres anything I can do to help desmond then... I'm in

Max sighed, scratching the back of his neck-- well... the doc here has been a great help. I might need to call my daughter first

Lucas' face softened, he turns to Max and says-- ya don't gotta come with, ya have a little girl to take care of

The other Man just let out a somber huff of air through his nose-- without desmond I can't see 'er. Court mandated sessions and all...even if I changed therapists I doubt they'll understand me like the doc did...

--Well...it's settled then?-- Rosemary asked-- we're all going? -- she gets a Group nodd in response-- 'kay..I'll need some time to dilute the chemicals so maybe a couple of days

Then Allen perked up-- just one quick question...if we're all there... who stays here to look after us?

Lucas' lips purse, his fists tighten but then he relaxes his hands, shaking his head a little. Rosemary notices this and asks-- you have an idea Lucas?

--I...do-- the ex soldier replied-- there's this other patient of Desmond, young gal. I met 'em some weeks back I thought I was running late to an appointment with Desmond but turns out I wasn't, talked to them in the Hall..-- he sighed-- I just don't like the idea to rope them into this, they're young and I know what being pulled into things you dont understand can cause

--well, If its not them...-- Virginia trailed off looking at Rosemary-- you could guide us through the...what did you call it again? Collective unconcious?

--Yes-- the scientist answered-- but... I have to go-

--You can help from this side,you understand this thing better than any of us, you can pay your dues that way-- Lucas reassured.-- we'll need a voice to guide us, we can use radio wave signals to communicate

--That's actually a great idea-- she replied-- well...guess I'm staying..

--Not to be that guy...-- Max interjected-- but we should need a way to pull us all out in case something happens on this side

--If I could make your bodies process the diluted solution faster, you'll be able to come to conciousness...there might be side effects like..maybe you all hear eachother's voices in your own head-- rosemary explained-- wont be for long, just until the entirety of the solution is gone from your bodies

--So you're saying we would have telepathy?!-- Allen exclaimed and Virginia looked at him as if he was onto something.

The scientist chuckled at the kid-like joy Allen had displayed-- something like that

--Cool!-- the lighthouse keeper mutters with a smile.

--Well, Rosemary and I Will stay here and figure how to dilude the chemicals,you Guys should go get ready, give us a few days-- Lucas answered sitting up Straight and pushing himself off the door frame he was leaning on.

After a few moments each person within the cabin leave, Allen and Virgnia seem lost in a quiet yet energetic conversation, Max seems deep in thought.

Rosemary looks at the floor for a moment-- you know...we could use some back up

Lucas Turned to the scientist with mild anger on his face-- Rosemary...

--Listen. I'm not saying rope them into it. I'm saying let them check in on me every few days, bring groceries and stuff

The ex military stands besides the scientist,arms crossed-- and risk 'em being followed and endager our mission?

--you care about 'em, don't you? -- she turns to him with a brow raised.

--W-well I care about them as anyone would do-- he answered, voice stammering and eyes darting away

--Y'know what I mean, Cole

--It's none of yer bussiness-- He answered.

--if anyone from mayer saw you talking to them they might be in danger-- she Warned-- don't think this whole thing won't go unnoticed

--The hell do you expect me to tell 'em?! "Oh hey why dont you come stay at my cabin in the middle of the Woods,why? Oh the goverment is looking for you!" 

--When you put it like that-- rosemary started, but then she sighed-- look I can call them and tell 'em I call on behalf of Desmond. The Office isn't a safe spot...in fact the only thing keeping us undercover is the tin Foil you set up and the curtains being drawn-- Then she took a moment to think-- Unless...how were they when talking to you? Did they lean in? Copy your body stance?

--uh..I guess? I noticed their voice go down a few pitches-- he answered-- why?

--that's great! Okay here's the thing. Call 'em,tell 'em you wanna meet and make 'em come here to the park -- she started,noticing the increasing flusteredness of her companion-- what?

Lucas scratched the back of his neck-- how do I put this? I don't know how to talk to people,I'm outta practice

--You're talking to me right now

--You know what I mean-- he huffed,scowling at the smirk the woman gives him-- don't look so smug

--So you do have a crush on 'em-- she smirked-- adorable

--You're the worst-- he complained,folding his arms over his chest.

--Look. Chicks dig a Man in uniform-- rosemary started-- what's the worst that could happen? They say no and that's the end of that

Lucas gives an "are you kidding me?" Look to the woman and answers--it's not that easy!

She stands up from sitting on the table and faces her companion--Trust me,Cole. You call em up, and say "Hey,I really enjoyed our talk the other day. can we meet at Elysium Park?" Its infalible, you're nice and honest and it's a place usually filled with people which means they know that there Will be people around,which makes it safe! Witnesses and all that

--And if they ask how I got their number?-- he asks.

--Phone books!

--Great,make me look like a creep why dont you?

Rosemary rolled her eyes-- fine. You can tell them Desmond gave you their number

--Doesn't that violate patient confidentiality?

--Seesh you're complicated! Just call 'em up! Go!-- she Gently pushed him towards the phone resting on a coffee table-- Check if their file are on that paper stack over there-- she pointed at one of the other sofas.

--This is unbelivable-- he growled with warm cheeks and a scowl.

--You'll thank me later!-- rosemary shouted as her companion left, Taking great enjoyment in the way Lucas stomps off towards the files grumbling curses.

Rumaging through the files he finally finds the one belonging Jerico, he sighs under his breath. After finding the number he closes the file a little too abruptly And quickly starts pressing the numbers on his phone.

From where he was sitting,Lucas could see the smug face rosemary was giving him. He finishes pressing the number and puts the speaker part of the phone against his trapezius mouthing-- Fuck off -- and then when she laughs he gives her the middle finger. A really mature interaction between two adults, as you can tell.

Finally, Jerico picks up. Their voice startles Lucas a little bit-- Uh, Hello?

--uhm Hi,it's Lucas the guy you met ar Dr.Wales' Office..

--Oh hey Lucas!-- Their tone was cheery and oddly energetic-- how are you?

--Oh uh- 'M alright. How about you?

--Tired but fine. Glad summer break is starting,university has been kicking my ass-- they reply.

--Yeah I bet. Hey lissen uh- I really enjoyed our talk the other day, can we meet up?-- he hears them squeal on the other side of the phone, he has to clear his throat as blush spreads across his cheeks. Good to know they were excited to see him too.

--Yes. Uh yes of course! Where'd you think we should meet up?

--Elysium park? On the entrance to the dinner?

--cool! Sure. What time?

--Does tomorrow twelve am work for you?-- he asked, looking at Rosemary whose just making kissy lips at him. He grabs a crumpled ball of paper and throws it at her, barely missing his target. Damn he had good aim.

--Yes. It does-- they answer-- One more thing though, How did you get house number?

His cheeks go dark red, he has to cough a little to play off just how flustered he was-- Ah well the doc gave it to me

On the other side of the line,Jerico had their brows raised. They humm as if to say "huh. Interesting" and then they answer-- alright then. See you tomorrow, take care!

--Y-You too, see ya

They hang up first, Lucas takes a quick moment to snap out of it. He clears his throat and settles the phone back to where it was previously.

--Sooo?--Rosemary asked peeking from behind the doorframe, Like a nosy younger sibling.

--I guess I'll be seein' 'em-- he replied looking away, arms folded over his chest and acting all tough and rough.

--Wonderfull!-- she squeals-- they grow up so fast

--aintcha s'pposed to be workin' or somethin'?! Dontcha have better things to do?!-- he exclaimed his flusteredness increasing.

--I'm waiting on some equipment to finish running a few formulas to dilute Agent Rainbow-- she replied nonchalantly,shrugging a little-- I'm just killing time

--I'm going out, 'M gonna practice my aim-- he grabs his jacket haphazardly thrown on the one person sofá and walks to the entrance to his cabin muttering-- so Next time I throw something at you I actually hit you square in the face -- he of course didn't mean it. He was trying to look all tough and manly, rosemary didn't buy in his threat.

Meanwhile, Max had just arrived at his house, muttering under his breath. The door of his house opens a little too roughly, he closes it with a slam and locks it. His jacket is thrown to the nearest chair and as he goes to the fridge he says-- weird chemicals, governent conspiracies...the hell did you got into now Nyaagard.

He takes out a beer and opens it hitting the underside of the bottlecap on the corner of the table-- Unbelivable...

Sitting down on his couch, he sighs audibly, he lands roughly against the cushioned surface. His feet propped up on the coffee table, he looks at the ceiling taking a swig from his drink.

Max's eyes dart to the phone Next to the TV. He had to at least try and call Madison, let her know he would be out,make sure his little girl was alright.

Another sigh falls past his lips yet again. Swirling his beer he takes another sip and stands up, leaving the bottle on the coffee table and picking up the phone

Soon he dials up the number of his ex-wife's home and he anxiously knocks on the wooden surface of the dresser where the phone and TV rested on.

A woman picks up,he knows the voice--Hello?

--Hey...-- He starts.

--Im hanging up

--No wait! Look, Can I just talk to Maddie? I gotta leave for a job soon and I just want to hear her voice

Theres a short but heavy silence that Is interrupted by his ex wife calling out to Madison. A smile appears on his face as he hears his daughter's excited steps up to the phone.

--Daddy!-- Madison exclaims.

--Hello sweetheart-- Max says softly, a kind of softness reserved just for his kid-- how are ya?

--'m fine! Oh I had this thing happen to me at school n'-- Max diligently hears his daughter go on a rant for a solid ten minutes, smiling tenderly.

When she finished he adds-- thats really interesting sweetie, Hey lissen, Daddy has to go away for a bit. I'm not sure when I'm comin' Back but.. I love ya sweetheart

--Love ya too daddy! Good luck!!

He chuckled and said his goodbyes to his kid, then his ex wife adds-- whatever you do,be carefull

--I Will, Keep her safe for me

--Will do

He hangs up and lets out a heavy sigh. Scratching the back of his neck, knocking on wood one last time before returning to the sofá and resume his drinking.

By sunfall Rosemary had the exact formula, she was nothing but efficient. She would spend the rest of the night up until she managed to dilute Agent Rainbow. Next morning Lucas would find Rosemary passed out on her desk.

As the sun rises and Lucas makes his way to the coffee machine, he barely got any sleep at night. Night terrors wouldn't leave him alone.

But, he had to focus on the good things. He was a step closer to saving desmond, and...he could see his crush before plunging into the uncertainty and almost certain death of his mission. Lucas decided to start by having breakfast and leaving a mug of coffee besides rosemary.

He pats her back shaking her a little-- Rose? Wake up. I made ya coffee

The scientist grumbles that she would wake up soon and he finished his own coffee, making his way to a duffel bag to Grab some of his clothes and walking up to the bathroom, he had to get ready for the day ahead

[thats-sir-dyke-to-you]

This is probably an unpopular opinion: so, i'll just preface with: Im saying this as a person with disability and chronic illness:

At a certain point its a bit shitty when people keep cancelling plans. I know sometimes health can get in the way of things but when you're ALWAYS reaching out to your friend and they are ALWAYS cancelling on you, it really, really sucks.

I don't cancel plans often. Usually I go through with them, even if I feel like pure death. I will save up all my energy for a day to see my friends. I put in that effort, even if sometimes it causes me to flare. And yeah, I could stand to tone it down a little, but I really dont like cancelling.

Because I've had friends cancel plans on me. a lot. And its usually people im trying to get back into contact with. It sucks to be cancelled on, and even though you know the person isn't doing it maliciously, after a certain amount of times it just starts to feel like they dont actually want to see you.

Of course you need to look after your health and comfort, but I sometimes feel like people can focus too much on prioritising their comfort over their relationships. Relationships are hard work and unfortunately, that sometimes means pushing through exhaustion and pain for someone because you care about them.

Disability and illness can be really isolating. In order to get rid of that loneliness, it means meeting up with people. And adjusting to living with disability and chronic illness means learning to balance those two forces. If you find yourself always cancelling and notice that your friendships are fading, you're not acting in your best interest. You are going to have to be uncomfortable and push yourself. You are going to have to put effort in, or be content with people pulling away because the relationship is becoming one-sided.

It should also just be basic etiquette that if you cancel on someone, it should be your responsibility to reschedule. And you should try not to let the person down again.

Like, I get it. Im sometimes exhausted and in pain and dont feel up to hanging out. I do it anyway. Because its good for the relationship, its good for my mental health, and its good to push your boundaries sometime. Its like exercise a muscle, if you dont push it, you dont get stronger. You dont grow.

It sucks to put in all that work, and get nothing back. It also especially sucks when it feels like your friend gives up on plans at the slightest hint of resistance. If you cancel, maybe try communicating why.

But in general i think that people have become too blasé about this kind of thing. Yes, life gets in the way, but at a certain point you have to stop victimising yourself and realise that youre treating people badly. You're not the only person whos struggling, and you owe it to yourself to try and do something that will make you feel better long-term -- like fulfilling relationships with others -- rather than prioritising short term gains (like getting to rest)

TLDR: cancelling plans sucks, and getting cancelled on sucks too. Remember, its never just one person losing a friend, its always at least two, and thats awful. Dont let yourself fall into the trap of neglecting your relationships. Part of taking care of your wellbeing means taking care of your social health too.

[adventure-showdown]

What is your favourite Doctor Who story?

ROUND 1 MASTERPOST

synopses and propaganda under the cut

Mad Dogs and Englishmen

Synopsis

"Grrrrr."

The greatest book ever written.

Professor Reginald Tyler's The True History of Planets was a twentieth-century classic; an epic of dwarves and swords and wizardry. And definitely no poodles. Or at least there weren't when the Doctor read it.

Now it tells the true tale of how the Queen of the poodles was overthrown; it's been made into a hit movie, and it's going to cause a bloodbath on the dogworld — unless the Doctor, Fitz and Anji (and assorted friends) can sort it all out.

The Doctor infiltrates the Smudgelings, Tyler's elite Cambridge writing set of the early twentieth century; Fitz falls for flamboyant torch singer Brenda Soobie in sixties Las Vegas, and Anji experiences some very special effects in seventies Hollywood. Their intention is to prevent the movie from ever being made. But there is a shadowy figure present in all three time zones who is just as determined to see it completed... so the poodle revolution can begin.

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

Anachrophobia

Synopsis

Imagine a war. A war that has lasted centuries, a war which has transformed an entire planet into a desolate No Man's Land. A war where time itself is being used as a weapon.

You can create zones of decelerated time and bring the enemy troops to a standstill. You can create storms of accelerated time and reduce the opposition to dust in a matter of seconds.

But now the war has reached a stalemate. Neither the Plutocrats nor the Defaulters have made any gains for over a hundred years.

The Doctor, Fitz and Anji arrive at Isolation Station Forty, a military research establishment on the verge of a breakthrough. A breakthrough which will change the entire course of the war.

They have found a way to send soldiers back in time. But time travel is a primitive, unpredictable and dangerous business. And not without its own sinister side effects...

Propaganda

YOU THINK MIDNIGHT IS SCARY? YOU THINK MIDNIGHT IS HORROR? TRY READING ANACHROPHOBIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! imagine. there is a war that has been raging for centuries between two groups - the plutocrats and the defaulters (YEAH THIS IS ALSO A COMMENTARY ON THE FUTILITY OF CAPITALISM AND WAR ECONOMICS!) - and both sides have developed time technology that allows them to either Speed Time Up (which can age someone to dust in the span of a few seconds) or Slow Time Down (trapping someone in a single second for millennia). the doctor and his friends are trapped in a military base that is studying time travel. they send a pod into the past, but when it comes back it brings Something With It. something that makes people Lose Their Whole Past and relive moments again and again. and also turns their faces into clocks. read this fuckkng book (@eightdoctor)

ANACHROPHOBIA ANACHROPHOBIA ANACHROPHOBIA ITS SO GOOD ITS SO GOOD YOU DONT UNDERSTAND YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. IT DEALS WITH THE TIME JUST AFTER (TWO BOOKS AFTER) THE DOCTOR HAD HIS SECOND HEART REMOVED AND IT DOES IT SO WELL. ‘‘LIKE A MAN WHO HAS LOST AN ARM STILL BEING ABLE TO SENSE MOVEMENTS IN HIS FINGERS. LIKE A MAN WHO STILL SOMETIMES FEELS THE BEAT OF A SECOND HEART’’ ARATFTFY ITS SO GOOD IT CHANGED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY. THE LAST TWO BOOKS (MAD DOGS AND ENGLISHMEN + HOPE) DIDNT MENTION MUCH ABOUT THE EFFECTS OF LOSING AN ENTIRE FUCKING HEART BUT ANACHROPHOBIA IS ALL ABOUT IT. THE DOCTOR IS SICK, WEAKER THAN USUAL, FITZ AND ANJI ARE CONCERNED, SO CONCERNED THEY’RE WONDERING IF HE CAN LIVE WITH ONLY ONE HEART. THEY GET OXYGEN CANNISTERS AND A MASK OUT FOR HIM JUST IN CASE!!!!! AND OH THE BODY HORROR OH THE BODY HORROR. IT'S GOOD ITS SO GOOD. AND SABBATH IS IN IT AND HES DISGUISED AS A GUY (ISN'T REVEALED UNTIL THE END) AND HE PRETENDS TO PANIC WHEN HE REALISES HIS COWORKERS ARE DEAD AND IT MAKES ME FEEL SICK SO SICK WHEN I REALISED HIS EMOTION WAS FAKE. ITS GOOD ITS SO GOOD ITS SO FUCKING GOOD (nix)

The Book of the Still

Synopsis

The Book of the Still is a lifeline for stranded time travellers — write your location, sign your name and be instantly rescued. When the Unnoticed learn that within the book someone has revealed both their existence and whereabouts they are forced into murderous intercession to find it.

Fitz knows where it is, but then he's the one who stole it. Carmodi, addicted to the energies trapped in frequent time travellers, also knows where it is. But she's the one who's stolen Fitz. Anji, alone on a doomed planet, trying to find evidence of a race that has never had the decency to exist, doesn't know where anybody is.

Embroiled in the deadly chase, the Doctor is starting to worry about how many people he can keep alive along the way...

Propaganda

It's a convoluted nightmare that is absolutely impossible to put down. Beautiful. (anonymous)

The Crooked World

Synopsis

The people of the Crooked World lead an idyllic existence.

Take Streaky Bacon, for example. This jovial farmer wants nothing more from life than a huge blunderbuss, with which he can blast away at his crop-stealing nemesis. And then there's Angel Falls, a racing driver with a string of victories to her name. Sure, her trusted guardian might occasionally put on a mask and menace her for her prize money, but that's just life, right? And for Jasper the cat, nothing could be more pleasant than a nice, long nap in his kitchen — so long as that darn mouse doesn't jam his tail into the plug socket again.

But somebody is about to shatter all those lives. Somebody is about to change everything — and it's possible that no one on the Crooked World will ever be happy again.

The Doctor's TARDIS is about to arrive. And when it does... That's all folks!

Propaganda

I think that the best thing about EU stories is that, by the nature of their medium, they can tell stories that couldn't be shown on the TV due to constraints ranging from TV sensors to budget limitations to the fundamental laws of reality. This is maybe the best example of how the novels can transcend all of that. The action takes place in a world of cartoons, where goofy characters chase each other around and do comedy bits. Sometimes they blow each other up, but they're always fine by the next scene, so it's okay! Enter the TARDIS. The Doctor gets shot in the chest within literal moments of leaving the ship, and his apparent inability to heal sends shockwaves through the denizens of the Crooked World. The travelers' attempts to repair the damage only result in worsening it, as for the first time, the cartoons learn about violence, death, sex, and the fundamental inequalities of their society, culminating in riots in the streets, murder, and the attempted destruction of the world. (Spoilers: the Scooby Gang discovers the corpse of God!) It's fascinating, the vast tonal shifts throughout are masterfully handled, it traumatizes and re-traumatizes you every chapter, and for my money, it's one of the best portrayals of the 'Dr. Nyarlathotep' concept in the EU (though that probably wasn't intentional) (6&7)

Camera Obscura

Synopsis

The Doctor sat alone and listened to the beat of his remaining heart. He had never got used to it. He never would. The single sound where a double should be. What was this new code hammering through his body? What did it mean? Mortal. No, he'd always known he could die. Not mortal. Damaged. Crippled. Through his shirt, his fingers sought the thick ridge of his scar. Human...

The Doctor's second heart was taken from his body — for his own good, he was told. Removed by his sometime ally, sometime rival, the mysterious time-traveller Sabbath. Now, as a new danger menaces reality, the Doctor finds himself working with Sabbath again. From a seance in Victorian London to a wild pursuit on Dartmoor, the Doctor and his companions work frantically to unravel the mystery of this latest threat to Time... Before Time itself unravels.

Propaganda

DESPAIR ACCORDS WITH REALITY BUT I INSIST ON HOPE!!!!!!! GOOD FUCKING BOOK IM UNWELL (anonymous)

The Gallifrey Chronicles

Synopsis

The Doctor's home planet of Gallifrey has been destroyed. The Time Lords are dead, their TARDISes annihilated. The man responsible has been tracked down and lured to Earth in the year 2005, where there will be no escape. But Earth has other problems — a mysterious signal is being received, a second moon appears in the sky, and a primordial alien menace waits to be unleashed...

The stage is set for the ultimate confrontation — for justice to be done. The Doctor and his companions Fitz and Trix will meet their destiny. And this time, the Doctor isn't going to be able to save everyone.

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

[masterprocrastinatortm]

Yo!

I've been a regular follower for a while, and your uni looks beautiful and so modern (or post modern idk), and it just looks great.

But

How is the course, law I think?

How's uni life?

How's it all!

I wanna know cos imma be doing uni in 1.5yrs, and I just really am interested in it all

Thanks!!, FeS2

Hey! I am very happy to answer this!

This is a very long answer, so TLDR; University is different from school, I like student life, law is hard but you can do it if you want to.

I go to University in Aberdeen, Scotland (not sure where you're from but I know there are like three Aberdeens in the world...) and I really love it here. The University itself is a combination of really really old (Kings College was built in 1495) and really new (like the SDR library and some of the lecture halls and buildings).

I think any course in University or college will be very different from what school is like, just from my own experience. Especially if you go overseas (which is what I am doing). I think regardless it will be quite a big change. Personally, a good change - but it takes time to adjust.

When I came here I found it really difficult to acclimate to how the focus of learning here is very much memorization-based - remembering rules and names and dates, etc, whereas I was used to having a lot of open-book exams and application of rules that you could look up in the book.

My boyfriend is currently doing his first year of University, and he is finding it quite hard to get used to how to write in academia, compared to how it was in school or day-to-day as a standard working adult. There is a lot more referencing and you have to be quite critical of which sources you use - and it's a lot more stressful than what he thought beforehand.

this is why it's so important to choose something you are actually interested in, not just something that will give you a good job for the future - because going to University is like having a full-time job and a half, and a lot of people don't necessarily know/understand that

As for student life, I really liked my first few years. I was assigned 5 random flatmates for the first year, and it was a very eclectic bunch. I was very lucky and liked all of them, but they did not like everyone, and some of our neighbors really hated their flatmates. My best friend (and used to be library buddy) is actually one of those randos

We were a bit of a party flat the first few weeks, but after a few months together and some drama, we opted to go out instead so we didn't have to deal with the arguments that cleanup brought.

I think a lot has changed now though because of how society has adjusted to the panoramic. It hit while was on my year abroad - and honestly, it really affected my grades. I'm pretty sure most courses now have no in-person lectures, only online ones. And only some lucky courses have tutorials and seminars on campus (that you can also attend online). The same is true for socials. A lot of student societies (I could not recommend enough that you join some while in uni) have had to cut down on in-person events, or at least limit numbers, and has had a lot of online socials which personally I find almost more isolating than not joining any at all.

Law itself - would not recommend unless you hate yourself. But also, if you really want to do it, you are fully able to do it.

Our lecturers are like any other place, some good some bad. Aberdeen uni is very international so we have lectures from all over the world, and honestly, I still find them so interesting.

Studying is a lifestyle. It is very hard, but once you kind of crack the key for how to do things it does become easier. Since I'm in my last year and doing honours courses it's a lot of self-study, and very little anything together with lecturers or tutors, which personally I struggle with but is also fine if you set some good boundaries for yourself - and keep some good habits (I dont lol). This is where any friends you have from your course is good to have (i was lucky and made some friends in my first year who are still around this year)

[hopeymchope]

2022: The Rise of the Sneering, Manipulative Protagonist!

...and I mean that in the BEST possible way.

Based on my other writings on this Tumblr, you might read that headline and expect this to be a teardown of the characters I’m referring to. After all, you might think that a certain purple-haired lad with a checkerboard scarf could be described with the same words. But I say thee NAY! I come not to condemn the heroes of Tomadachi Game and Trapped in a Dating Sim, but instead to praise them!

So: Over the past couple of months, I’ve fallen in love with two boys who have truly embraced the notion of being the hero people need even if they’re not the one people want. Not only are they really compelling characters in their own right, it’s also interesting to see how their attempts to “playing the bad guy” contrast with somebody I’ve previously ragged on in this blog quite a bit. 

But we’ll get there. First, let’s talk about these two guys with their somewhat-similar solutions to problems as well as their obviously-similar hairdos.

We begin with Yuuchi Katagari, the protagonist of Tomadachi Game. (Which should really have been translated as “Friendship Game” for English audiences, but I guess someone in localization did precisely 1/2 their job and then rolled over for a nap or something.) Tomadachi Game is about Yuuchi and his friends getting trapped in a series game “rounds” where huge amounts of money are on the line — and unfortunately, huge amounts of debt are given to them from the outset. The kind of amounts that could destroy them and their families. I’ve given a VERY spoiler-free shout-out to it before. (And dont worry. I’m not gonna spoil either of these anime/manga/light novels beyond their setup details.)

The rest of the jist is that it soon becomes clear that the game is rigged towards making them all lose, and Yuuchi? He’s not going to let his friends destroy their lives. But he’s not going to let whoever’s behind the scheme get away with it, either. He wants justice.

A face you can trust. Clearly.

So, although Yuuchi starts off seeming pretty wholesome, once the titular game gets underway and shit begins to get real, he is soon looking a lot more... unhinged. He starts using his intelligence to manipulate everybody around him in such a manner that will lead to exposing more and more information about the game and its mastermind. Yuuchi is willing to act like an absolute maniac if that’s what he thinks the people in charge will want and need to see. He’ll embrace the role of villain externally, but at the same time, he’s working to keep his friends from suffering for their involvement — that is, provided their involvement is innocent. In the course of his actions, he appears to be manipulating all of his friends at times. And sometimes, it’s true. But even that manipulative appearance might be a maneuver in itself in certain cases — cases where, in reality, he’s being totally being upfront and honest with some of them while fronting for other people’s sake. 

It can sometimes be hard to figure out when he’s legitimately winning a game and when he’s legitimately losing one, because he just fronts so goddamn well. He’s easily one of the smartest characters I’ve seen in an anime — I’ve seen one YouTuber compare Yuuchi to the likes of Lelouch from Code Geass or Light from Death Note. And who doesn’t enjoy watching these sorts of master manipulators? .... Especially when they get to unload on people who’re much, much shittier. Having to act like a douchebag to other decent people? That may be necessary at times, but it kinda sucks. The complete jackasses though? Those are always the highlights.

Sure, he’s probably not gonna do it, but I mean... he’d be pretty justified if he did.

Even as things get tougher/darker for Yuuchi and he questions his own morality, starting to think that he really is a bad person at heart... the audience at home never has much reason to doubt his goodness. Even when he reveals some dark secret about his past, it inevitably seems to lead into a context that is actually NBD. And even when some of his friends seem to turn against him, he’s quick to forgive and bring them back under his protection — which they readily embrace. The result is surprisingly heartwarming.

Aw, see? He’s just an innocent lil’ fluffhead.

It just takes a little bit of honest communication to make his manipulative “villainy” into twisted teamwork. And sure, he stumbles a little bit — at one point he’s mean to one of his friends just because he wants to drive her away from him so she’ll be safe. But that same damn night, he rushes to be there for her and makes it all up to her. So even when he’s legit acting like an asshole, he can recover from those events pretty quick. Just because he’s playing 4D chess and acting like a psycho for external observers doesn’t mean he’s being a selfish dick about it for those who matter to him, and I love that.

I might love Leon Fou Bartfort even more, though — it’s hard for me to say. I just *might*.

Claims to hate “hot guys.” Is actually kinda hot though?

Leon’s the protagonist of Trapped in a Dating Sim: The World of Otome Games Is Tough for Mobs. YEAH, it’s one of those overlong titles that tells you “Oh, this is based on a series of light novels.” And it’s even a dreaded isekai story.

Historically, I don’t care for isekais much. Not only are they WAY overdone these days (and even when I write it in all caps and/or bold it, “WAY overdone” feels inadequate to explain just how fucking much isekai is out there currently), but I’ve found precious few of them do much with the conceit that feels unique. I do think Konosuba is pretty funny overall (though it has its obvious downfalls), and I adore the reverse-isekai The Devil is a Part-Timer! But in truth, I think I got more deeply invested in TiaDS than either one of those. This damn thing is something special.

The setup: Leon finds himself reborn in an otome game in which the matriarchical society allows noblewomen to attend an academy in their young adult years. Said academy is ostensibly about academics and etiquette, but it’s really about the men trying to impress the women that they’d make good husbands. Leon’s sister made him play this otome game to completion back in our world, and now, Leon hopes to use his knowledge of the game’s world and events to avoid any danger or drama. Initially, that seems like it’ll be easy because he’s just a background NPC of lower birth. But naturally, he soon finds that he’s going to face a horrible fate if he doesn’t achieve some level of nobility that will get him out of his predicament. And when he swiftly pulls THAT off, he’s forced to attend the same academy as all the game’s central characters. So once again, he tries to stay away from them and avoid their problems. And once again, he predictably cannot leave well enough alone. Both his moral code and his extreme irritation with the school’s highest nobility make him unable to stand aside and let things play out. That’s when he realizes that if he wants to both monitor what events are coming/what “route” the game is on AND also give some comeuppance to those who treat others as “lesser,” he needs to embrace acting like a douchebag. He must vilify himself to become the hero this world deserves. 

“Do you ever wonder why there are so many treasure chests throughout these dungeons? Like: Who put them there, and why?” “Nope. Sure haven’t.”

Leon is nowhere near as smart as Yuuchi, though. Even as he attempts to manipulate events through his behavior, his plans seem to backfire almost as often as they succeed. Sometimes he self-sabotages by acting impulsively. Leon is also probably a worse person than Yuuchi because he lacks Yuuchi’s self-doubt and self-awareness. It’s not too surprising when Leon starts to genuinely enjoy his cruelty on occasion, turning him into something of a “toxic gamer” type who verbally abuses others as he takes them out. (Yes, this supposed otome game has combat in it. Combat with mechs, even. Go figure.) But honestly, if gloating over people he beats in combat is his biggest sin? I think we can handle that. .... Though it is pretty rude, tbh.

Even with that character flaw, however? Leon waffles on his ability to fully play the villain role he’s assigned himself. Yuuchi is much more dedicated; Leon can’t help but make moves behind the scenes to help his enemies out so they don’t suffer overmuch for his actions. Even when he’s in the midst of a fight for his life, he refuses to kill anybody — something which his A.I. companion notes could definitely come back to bite him in the future.

That’s right, Leon has an A.I. companion: Luxion! Luxion was once housed within a robot that attempted to kill Leon. After a simple bit of reprogramming and a transition to a far less intimidating body, he now serves Leon with politeness that only barely masks his grumpiness and loathing. Their back-and-forth is really funny, and it’s cool to see how they gradually come to like each other at least a little more with time. 

Leon gives Luxion the privilege of naming his mech suit.

Even better, though, is Leon’s personal growth as he learns things about himself and how to treat others by comparing his behavior to that of the people around him. You see other characters in this world who first appear one-note come to show FAR more nuance, too. 

Plus, as I’ve said before, the English dub for this show is just insanely fucking good. Top-tier.

As much as I think Leon is great? I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention how cool Angelica is, too. By the end of the season, she was my second-favorite character. Angelica is the otome game’s ostensible villain — the girl who has it out for the protagonist and tries to prevent her from getting with any of the various pretty-boy nobles. She is also, like many of the characters in this show, deeper than she appears on the surface. Viewing the scenario from a different angle gives Leon a new perspective on her whole deal. The same goes for us viewers, presumably.

“Evil” is in the eye of the beholder, my guy.

But let’s get down to business (to defeat the huns): You might be inclined to wonder why I love these guys but despise Kokichi Ouma. After all, isn’t Kokichi ALSO publicly playing the part of the villain in order to draw out a mastermind and end a game — which sounds just like Yuuchi, who I claim to love?

To some of you, I bet the difference is already obvious.

Yuuchi and Leon are both keeping people in the loop on what they’re doing, and they avoid unnecessary cruelty (plus they try to make up for it with quieter acts of kindness). Yuuchi does try to do the “convince his friends that he’s evil” thing a couple of times, but he swiftly backs down on it in less than 24 hours. Because as soon as they need someone, he can’t help but be there to stand up for them. And Leon? Leon never tries to push his friends away. His initial pals at the academy, Dan and Raymond? They are ALWAYS in the loop on his plans. HIs newest friends, Olivia and Angelica? Even though he just met them, he’s still constantly open with them about what’s going on and why he’s doing it. His performance is only for the people he doesn’t know at all or just doesn’t like. 

Part of the fun is in watching them maneuver other people by pretending to be evil and/or psychotic while simultaneously being good-hearted people who show obvious care for others. Yuuchi and Leon are never going to be relentlessly cruel to the people around them without swiftly making up for it, and they’re never going to withhold information that could save lives for personal amusement. That’s only Kokichi’s jam, see?

Be Warned, Though: Neither “Tomadachi Game” or “Trapped in a Dating Sim” are currently a complete story as an anime. Both animes end with the door wide open for future seasons. But if you wish to keep going, the option to explore the source material IS there. Tomadachi Game’s manga is widely available in English online, and the series of Trapped in a Dating Sim light novels even has an official English publication that will take you far beyond the limits of the show. I don’t believe either of those source materials has wrapped up, however. So at some point, you’ll have to hit that wall. 

Personally, I’m going to start digging into those light novels first.

[emyluwinter]

I feel very bad psychologically...and this passage came to my mind.

I'm sorry that it came out so crumpled and torn.

When Crowley finds out about Grimm and a meeting with the elders is held.

Yuu tries to keep calm, but Ace and Deuce notice that they keep their hands clenched into fists. So that no one can see how much their hands are shaking.. Do not show weaknesses in front of others, so that they do not use it against you. This they learned quite well in this place.

They're still teenagers. They do not have the strength or endurance of a war that has passed a single battle, they do not have that rod that will not break under any circumstances.

They have no more peace of mind.

They no longer have a thirst for life..

They're just...a child that is not in its place. Scared and broken.

- Director Crowley..what are you going to do with the Grimm when you find him? - Yuu voice sounded almost like a plea that his little friend would not be injured during the capture.

The director thought for a couple of moments.

- In have no choice, Prefect..you yourself understand that the Grimm dont should stay in college..this is becoming too dangerous for other students. Depending on his Grimm condition, I will be forced to take measures to expel him.

Everyone in the office falls silent.

Yuu swallows nervously, voicing his worst fear, although it was already one of the few.

- So...will you expel me too?

The director purses his lips, realizing that the elders and friends of Yuu will not approve of this, but he is older and more experienced. He has power over them, so it's not up to them to decide. It was a very difficult decision to expel a child who has no family or shelter.

- Until I find a way to bring you home, I will make sure that you are in a good orphanage. Somewhere where you will be safe and without causing trouble to anyone.

Yuu makes a very quiet, but sharp sigh. Their shoulders droop. Realizing that their guesses were true. They can't say anything else.

They will be expelled. They will have to start all over again...in such a deplorable state.

Having nothing and waiting for some news that may never come. Like a princess trapped by a curse in a dark tower.

This is a terrible cruel decision, but the Director is right. Being in college is becoming too dangerous. And this battle for survival Yuu without magic...without a Grimm, will not endure.

Ace abruptly interrupts their conversation. His face turned white with fear that their friend would simply be thrown out on the street.

- Wait a minute, Director!!A shelter?!Seriously??are you going to expose Yuu like this?!

Deuce getting angry and joining in the conversation

- You can't do this, Yuu did everything to stay here and be diligent students!!

The director quickly interrupts the dissatisfied exclamations of the students.

- Quiet, please. I dare to remind you that Yuu is a student without magic. And given all the incidents in which they found themselves every time, their presence here becomes too dangerous for their lives.

Kalim does not believe that this is actually happening – But the director ... Yuu tried so hard and they always found a solution when the situation demanded it!You can't kick them out like that!

Riddle cautiously adding realizing that he does not want to lose their guest of honor – That's right, I think the option with the shelter is too hasty conclusion Director.

Vil looked at Yuu intently, fearing that the freshman would feel bad from everything that had happened. Seriously, they are not made of steel to endure all the events one after another without a break. It literally becomes a race to kill Yuu consciousness.

The director clears his throat loudly

– The decision has already been made…As soon as we find Grimm, Yuu will go to the orphanage. This concludes our meeting.

- Wait a minute...Director, I wanted to say something to the elders.- Yuu carefully raises his hand to attract attention to himself.

- All right, Prefect, but not for long. - The director adds, waiting for what Yuu will say.

- Don't go near the Grimm. - Yuu voice sounded broken and more desperate than warning.

- Don't think, herbivore, that this ball of wool can do anything to us. - Leona snorted with displeasure, looking intently at Yuu. He was infuriated by the smell that came from them. But the topic was not suitable to ask.

Yuu smiled mirthlessly.

- I thought so too...and this is what it led to..- Yuu unbuttons his shirt with a slightly crumpled movement and loosens his collar. Lifting the bandages, Yuu turns to the elders and shows his bare shoulder.

Yes, Malleus miraculously managed to come to the rescue, guessing that it was necessary to go after the frightened Yuu. Who run headlong in the middle of the night to the Colosseum, it turns out to be a very good idea.

But their magic is not omnipotent....

Their shoulder was cut by Grimm "attack". Black ragged stripes with burns.

A mixture of overblot impact and magic. Blood and burnt flesh mixed with ink. And they could not be withdrawn at the click of a finger.

- ....Holy shit......- Leona muttered softly, feeling all his animal features shouting not to get involved with what caused such an injury. That's where the smell came from. The smell of burnt flesh and blood...and traces of Malleus magic.

- Great Queen have mercy... - Riddle turned so pale that it seemed he was about to have a stroke, and clutched the edge of the table with his hands, looking at Yuu.

Kalim covered his mouth with his hands. His eyes quickly became wet with tears. He couldn't stand the fact that someone he knew had been hurt. Especially so seriously.

Vil was terrified. These injuries ... oh, seven..what terrible scars they will leave on their body.

It looked so terrible that the boys felt sick at the sight of it.

- And this is what happened...so please ... don't go near the Grimm. Catch it at such a distance that you can not get it.

Yuu is a little clumsy trying to cope with the buttons, but Ace notices that this is too difficult a task for them and without words approaches them and helps with the uniform. Deuce straightens Yuu tie properly.

- Thank you guys... - Yuu quietly thanks looking at his friends.

Ace gently presses his palm to their shoulder blade, rubbing their back trying to cheer them up. Deuce, on the other hand, holds them by the shoulders so that Yuu can lean on them.

Yuu was so tired, the force barely had the strength to hold on. Yuu met Leona gaze and whispered softly

- I think now I understand exactly why you said that life is terribly unfair..