#Dirk Breed

[huariqueje]

Panorama II  -    Dirk Breed , c. 1966.

Dutch,  1920-2004

Oil on canvas, 70 x 100 cm. 

[exaltior-a]

jake english is a CAT and dirk strider is a BOARDER COLLIE and this is a fact. law even. trust me.

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

DIRK, critiquing one of DAVE’S memes: It's not ironic enough.

DAVE: you know what isnt ironic? saying shit like brohoof

DIRK: Bold to assume I simply do it ironically.

DIRK: In fact, I do it ironically unironically.

DIRK: Get on my level, skrub.

DAVE, in awe:

[homestuckconfession]

As a Jake liker who isn’t super interested in Dirk or DirkJake, this cannibalism stuff is starting to get really annoying. Like I get it if you just like it, and I respect alternative interpretations, but canon Jake wouldn’t eat people. Like full stop he just wouldn’t. Why the hell are people seriously factoring this into their analysis of him? The only things that support it as a headcanon are extremely subjective and could also be used to justify things like basic relationship anxiety and whatever what have you. And that’s fine!!!! But I’ll admit, going to my favorite characters tag and seeing it become full of untagged gore of some other guy is grounds for annoyance.

I saw people say that you shouldn’t criticize it as the interpretation is based on an acearo reading of affection/their relationship or whatever, but honestly as an acearo person I don’t see it and I don’t think that’s a valid justification for as to why your headcanon should be exempt from people getting annoyed with it. It’s like the new Davekat in the sense that people who are mischaracterizing the relationship feel entitled to be able to have their fun in a public space and not suffer any type of scrutiny. I’m sorry but you can’t love gore and think it’s super hot and sexy, and then become immediately uncomfortable whenever people detached from you see it and voice grievances with having to see/interact with it. You’re literally posting it public for all to see, and as such the public is allowed to go back to their own corner of the internet and post their opinions of that publicly. You don’t get to police that just because it makes you upset that people don’t think that Jake having attachment issues constitutes people eating.

Jade has more overt “cannibalism” themes with her grimbark form and her intense desire to feel a connection, Davesprite is portrayed as a prey animal in comparison to her. Kanaya literally eats people actually in canon due to being a rainbow drinker. But no, DirkJake, the DaveKat of fandom intellectual types, is the true cannibalism ship. Because everything alpha kid related always has to loop back to everybody’s favorite white boy. And please don’t analyze or think critically about that phenomenon, because it might introduce others to alternate perspectives which is practically violence on tumblr or something.

Anyway tldr; I’m usually just mildly annoyed that I can’t consume content of one of my favorite characters without having to sift through the most ooc torture porn of the guy he’s most commonly shipped with, but now I’m pissed off that they’re pulling a “you can't handle messy queer art that's nuanced and explores dark subject matter” when they’re literally talking about self indulgent DirkJake yaoi. At this point I’m asking you to please get over yourself and accept the fact that not everyone has to agree with you.

.

[dyrehound]

no thoughts head empty

just dogstuck in my head

dirk is a poodle w a wack top knot

[carewyncromwell]

“Tell me, what has become of my rights? Am I invisible ‘cause you ignore me? Your proclamation promised me free liberty, now... I’m tired of bein’ the victim of shame -- They’re throwin’ me in a class with a bad name! I can’t believe this is the land from which I came! You know I really do hate to say it... The government don't wanna see, But if Roosevelt was livin’, he wouldn’t let this be, no, no!”

~“They Don’t Really Care About Us” by Michael Jackson

x~x~x~x

The day before Valentine’s Day 1996, Mia Flume finally came to grips with the horrible thought that Cornelius Fudge -- Minister for Magic and leader of the British Wizarding World -- was actively trying to cover up the return of He Who Must Not Be Named, all for the sake of his own personal ambitions. As the year wore on, Mia became more and more convinced that it was true...and to make matters worse, Fudge’s chosen representative, Dolores Umbridge, was making life hell for the students of Hogwarts.

Mia first heard about Dumbledore having to flee the school for supposedly organizing an illegal student “army” to rise up against the Ministry from Madame Rosmerta. It honestly sounded like the most outlandish thing in the world -- something that she couldn’t believe anyone sane would believe. Yet Fudge sure seemed to believe it -- and so Dumbledore was now on the run, a wanted man, and Dolores Umbridge had been named Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And one of the things she did first was punish the students who had supposedly joined “Dumbledore’s Army” -- one of whom, Mia was horrified to hear from her older sister Tia, was her fourteen-year-old nephew, Olin!

Both Tia and Mia sent Olin several letters questioning the validity of what they’d heard, but to their dismay, they received no letters in response. Instead Umbridge went to paid a visit to Tia and Dirk herself, where she asked them many pointed questions and even made some vaguely threatening comments.

“Your son is very bright, Ms. Cresswell,” Umbridge said in honeyed tones. “It’s not unlikely to presume he wishes to join the Ministry like his father someday, yes?”

Tia tried to keep her head high, but Umbridge’s overly sweet attitude was making her uneasy for a reason she couldn’t quite explain.

“...He hasn’t quite decided yet,” she confessed. “He’s always wanted to play Quidditch professionally, before...but recently, he’s expressed some interest in working in the Being division as an advocate...”

Something oddly cold flickered through Umbridge’s eyes. Knowing immediately that his wife had said the wrong thing, Dirk quickly brought a hand onto Tia’s and gave it a supportive squeeze.

“We shall support our son in anything he chooses to do with his life,” Dirk said very firmly, his eyes narrowing.

“Not aligning himself with traitors, I hope, Cresswell,” Umbridge said, her sweet tone twinged with something much more poisonous. “It would be a shame to see a man like you lose the Minister’s good graces, the way your son has his new Headmistress’s.”

Umbridge then put on a much more fake smile.

“...Fortunately your son has been diligently working to re-earn my favor in his detentions with me. I’m certain he’ll completely overcome this rebellious phase...especially with your guiding influence, as his parents.”

“We might guide Olin more easily if we knew our letters were getting through to him,” Dirk said, a bit of temper squeaking out of him despite himself.

Tia squeezed her husband’s hand, her face much more anxious upon Umbridge. “We haven’t heard from Olin in over a week now...please, Headmistress, I just want to hear from my son...”

“Of course, Ms. Cresswell -- of course you do,” said Umbridge. She gave Tia an insincere pat to the shoulder. “That’s something any mother should want. But sadly, children are very selfish creatures -- prone to keep things to themselves...especially any misbehavior. Sometimes they just go quiet, rather than admit they’ve done wrong...”

Dirk opened his mouth to speak, but Umbridge silenced him with a look.

“Not to worry,” she said with another sugary sweet smile. “When your boy is ready to speak to you, I promise you, I’ll make absolutely sure that his letters reach you.”

When Umbridge left, Tia actually burst into tears. Dirk ended up contacting Mia and Callie himself via Floo Powder, and when they met up at the Cresswell home, he was clearly beside himself.

“Olin would not just go quiet like this,” he said fiercely. “He would never worry his mother this way...”

“Worry us this way,” Mia interjected in agreement. “Olin always writes back to me, when I write to him, and always on the same day. This is not normal.”

Dirk slid his pipe into his mouth, giving it an anxious puff.

“His mail must be getting intercepted before it can reach us,” he muttered, “but if so...Merlin, what state must he be in now? Hogwarts was always safe, with Dumbledore in charge...”

He whirled on his youngest sister-in-law. “Callie, you have contacts at the radio station -- surely one of them knows what the deal is behind this ‘Dumbledore’s Army?’”

Callie looked unusually gloomy as she bowed her head. “Not really. No one who was in Dumbledore’s office that day has been very open about it...and everyone else...well, they’re just following the party line Fudge has been circulating. The whole Ministry’s really clammed up, lately.”

"Because of that interview you did with the Junior Undersecretary?” asked Mia.

Callie crossed her arms moodily.

“The boss even brought me into his office yesterday to scold me,” she grumbled. “Said I was too ‘hard-ball’ with Weasley, when I asked him about that rumor that Umbridge made Potter write with a cursed quill, during one of his detentions with her...”

The idea that Olin might’ve likewise been put through that in his detentions with Umbridge made Tia cover her face again, trying to hold in a fresh round of tears. Dirk’s jaw clenched as he brought an arm around his wife and squeezed her against his side.

“The broadcast was cut short, but trust me -- Weasley looked like he’d seen a ghost,” Callie said resentfully. “I don’t know whether it’s because he didn’t know about it at all or he just didn’t know I’d know about it...but either way, he didn’t even try to deny it or defend Umbridge’s character. I frankly don’t think he can.”

“How could he?” said Mia. “From the sound of it, not even the Ministry was aware Umbridge had quills like that. Where did you even hear that rumor in the first place?”

“A new informant of mine,” said Callie lightly.

When Mia raised her eyebrows, all traces of humor from Callie’s face faded immediately, and she crossed her arms.

“Ah, ah, don’t you dare ask!” she scolded her older sister in a tone rather akin to a huffy teenager. “It’s a secret.”

“A secret?” Mia recurred, her features creased with suspicion.

“Of course,” Callie said defensively. “I mean...he’s got contacts at both the Ministry and Hogwarts. The staffs of which I’m quite sure have no idea he’s been sending me messages.”

“True,” said Dirk. “Any Ministry employee could face severe consequences for being so open with the press...the professors too, now that Umbridge is in charge...”

Mia had to admit Dirk was right. She nodded in agreement.

“Well, if your new informant can tell us what really happened, Callie,” said Dirk, as he squeezed Tia gently against his side, “we would both be very grateful.”

Tia sniffled miserably.

“My son wouldn’t cause trouble for no reason,” she whimpered. “He’s a good boy...”

~*~

In May, at long, long last, Mia finally received a letter from Olin. The minute she received it, she ripped the envelope open so roughly, she almost tore the letter inside too. The letter didn’t hold any of the explanation she’d wanted -- instead, it seemed almost painfully restrained, talking only about the upcoming Quidditch Cup Final between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. When Umbridge was brought up, it was written in such flowery, over-the-top language that Olin’s sarcasm seemed to be bleeding through the page.

Don’t know if you heard, but we have a new Headmistress! Dolores Umbridge, you know -- the High Inquisitor I told you about? She really is marvelous -- a perfectly upstanding woman. I’d gush more, but...well, she’s just such a kind and sweet lady, I don’t think my testimony could do her justice!

Dirk was right, Mia thought. His other letters must’ve been intercepted before they could reach us. That’s why he’s saying all this now -- he must know Umbridge is reading any letters he tries to send, and she won’t let them reach us unless he says what she wants him to say...

The thought of a fourteen-year-old boy having to lie blatantly in his letters just to have any chance of getting through to his family was absolutely horrid to think about. Even worse was the thought that the person now censoring her nephew and preventing him from writing to her and his mother had been selected by the Minister of Magic himself, supposedly address the “falling standards” at Hogwarts promoted by Albus Dumbledore...

With a heavy heart, Mia put Olin’s letter away in her robes and set about trying to busy herself with the work of the day.

And of course, right in the midst of this -- right when Mia was feeling so miserable and worried about her nephew and trying hard to distract herself with some medicinal normalcy -- this just had to be when Jacob Cromwell had the audacity to show his rotten face in Honeydukes’ Sweet Shop for the first time in five years.

When he’d first come in around mid-day, Mia had had her back turned, arranging inventory on the shelf in the far corner of the shop. Her mother Jenie was busy ringing up customers at the desk while her father Ambrosius pecked away in the kitchen, so Mia had rolled over a whole cart full of brightly colored boxes across the shop, which she was now levitating onto the shelf.

It was while doing this that she suddenly realized dozens of boxes were flying up onto the shelves around her, rather than just the ones she’d actively levitated.

“What -- ?”

When she turned around, she found herself immediately face-to-face with a man exactly her height, who had not one but two wands -- one made of white aspen and the other of black ebony -- raised, enchanting the rest of Mia’s stock to arrange themselves neatly on the shelf. His dark curls cascaded down his back and shoulders like a waterfall and his blue eyes were so darkened and sunken-in, they resembled a skull’s, especially when juxtaposed on such a pale face.

When Jacob Cromwell looked down at her, he offered a sheepish smile.

“Sorry -- I didn’t want to interrupt you while you were working,” he said.

Jacob wordlessly enchanted the last few boxes he’d lifted up onto the shelves to dance around each other so they were in the proper order.

Mia immediately flicked her wand around, catching the one box that she’d still been levitating in her non-wand hand so she could turn her wand’s focus onto Jacob. Before she could cast any spell, though, Jacob brought both of his wands up, crossing them in an “x” shape around Mia’s so as to force her to lower it.

“Easy!” he said quickly. “I’m not here to cause trouble.”

“That’d be a first,” spat Mia. “What do you want, Cromwell?”

“To talk to you, actually,” said Jacob.

“Well, I don’t want to talk to you. Now get lost -- ”

Mia yanked her wand arm back and turned her back on Jacob. He seemed to have predicted this move, though, for within seconds, he’d stepped in front of her.

“Wait -- I’ve been talking to your sister,” Jacob said seriously. “Your younger sister, Callie.”

Mia’s dark eyes flashed. Callie? Mia knew full well that her sister was one of those who’d taken a stupid liking to Jacob, so she’d interviewed Jacob rather often, but had she actually told Jacob to seek Mia out? When she knew how Mia loathed Jacob Cromwell and would for the rest of his sodding life? The chocolatier felt the strong urge to throw her shoe at something.

“I gather you don’t like me, for whatever reason, but please, just hear me out,” said Jacob. “For Callie’s sake, if not mine.”

Mia glared at Jacob. Glancing around, she took note of several customers who’d started to eavesdrop -- upon being noticed, they all immediately looked away.

“What do you want?” Mia repeated lowly, as she put down the box of Peppermint Toads still in her hand down roughly on the shelf.

Jacob likewise glanced around the shop, taking stock of the people around them. He seemed to be thinking hard, for it took him a moment to conjure up a response.

“...Callie’s told me that you’ve...been looking for new things to read, lately.”

Mia’s face scrunched up with confusion. “What?”

Jacob kept his blue eyes dreamily aloft, dancing over the highest shelves, as he slipped his hands idly into the pockets of his jeans.

“Newspapers are lovely and all, of course...but their content just gets kind of stale, after a while. Same boring, feel-good stories, over and over again. Sometimes it’s good to read other kinds of fiction, just for a change of pace...”

He shot another furtive glance around before glancing at Mia out the side of his eye.

“...Even the Quibbler gets a bit old, after a while.”

Harry Potter’s interview flitted through Mia’s mind, and it made her stiffen.

“You read the Quibbler?” she asked.

“Not all the time -- just when they’ve written something interesting,” said Jacob with a grin. “Like that article about Stubby Boardman and Sirius Black? Those photos! Almost had me believing their wacko theory, for a second...”

Thoroughly unamused, Mia tried to move past him. “I don’t have time for this -- ”

But Jacob once again seemed to have predicted her movement before she made it and cut her off.

“Mia -- may I call you Mia?”

“It’s either Hermia or Miss Flume to you,” Mia spat. She did not want to be on nickname terms with Jacob Cromwell.

“Hermia,” Jacob took this in stride, his voice going down a full decibel, “if you want me to get to the point...I know what you’ve been worrying about. What a lot more people have started worrying about, lately....”

Jacob glanced around the shop again, which prompted Mia to do the same. Once again, she could sense many of the shoppers there looking away quickly, so as to pretend they hadn’t been trying to listen in.

Oh great, Mia thought irritably, they’re probably looking at this whole exchange and thinking it’s some sort of lover’s spat.

The thought -- and Jacob’s seemingly obliviousness to how their physical proximity made them look -- made Mia glare at Jacob and take a marked step back as she started busying herself with arranging inventory on the closest shelf.

“And I suppose you’ve been worrying just as much yourself?” she growled disbelievingly under her breath.

“Is that really so hard to believe?” Jacob asked, his mouth turned down in a confused frown.

“You forget, I remember your arrogant arse at school,” Mia said vindictively. “You’ve never worried about a damn thing in your life, Jacob Cromwell.”

Despite the lingering bewilderment in his expression, Jacob’s brows came together over his eyes in intense seriousness as he stepped closer to her again. 

“Look, Hermia,” he murmured so quietly only she could hear him, “I’m sorry for whatever I did to upset you so much...but this thing is a lot bigger than us, than all of us. However much you might not like me, there’s a War coming. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon. Real soon. And with how close you are to Hogwarts, I reckon you deserve to have some better reading than the stuff you’ve currently got.”

Very abruptly Jacob had pushed a pretty blue leather-bound book into Mia’s hands. She looked down at it, startled.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

“I would hope you’d have seen this on stage, given your name,” he said with a slight wry smile. “But even if you’ve only read it...I think spending an evening reading the annotated version might prove very enlightening.”

With this cryptic remark, Jacob turned on his heel and swept off toward the door. Mia looked up from the cover, mouthing angrily before finally being able to conjure up a response.

“Wha -- what in the world is that supposed to mean?! Cromwell! Get back here!”

But by the time she’d pulled herself together enough to chase after him, Jacob had already disappeared from Hogsmeade with a CRACK.

~*~

Mia was left stewing in her juices for the rest of the day. There were points she didn’t even want to look at the book Jacob had so unceremoniously gifted her -- after all, she already had her own worn copy of A Midsummer Night’s Dream, as well as all of Shakespeare’s other plays. But at the same time, she couldn’t deny that however annoying Jacob had been -- as annoying as he always was to her, quite frankly -- his word choice seemed way too pointed to not mean something.

“ -- you deserve to have some better reading -- ”

“ -- reading the annotated version might prove very enlightening -- ”

And so, later that afternoon on her lunch break, Mia opened the book and idly flip through the pages. Nothing seemed particularly special about the book, though -- it was the same text she’d read countless times when she was little, trying to entertain herself without leaving Honeydukes or her father. She used the Revealing Charm on the pages to see if any hidden text would appear, to no avail. There weren’t even any notations or markings of any sort on the pages that could hint to some sort of code.

You would think that a guy who runs around cursebreaking all willy-nilly would know the benefit of a proper code, Mia thought scornfully.

With a scoff, the chocolatier shut the book with a loud snap, leaving it behind on the counter in the kitchen as she returned to work.

~*~

Within a few days, Mia had completely forgotten about Jacob’s “gift.” It wasn’t hard to lose track of it, given the state of things both in Hogsmeade and at Hogwarts. As OWL season began up at the school, Honeydukes and the other shops became busier, and Mia heard even more more bad news. It seemed that Umbridge had ordered several Aurors to help her forcibly evict Rubeus Hagrid from the grounds, only for them to fire several Stunning spells right into Minerva McGonagall’s chest when the Deputy Headmistress tried to intervene, sending her to St. Mungo’s and sending Hagrid running off into the forest. However much Mia hadn’t spoken much to Hagrid at school, considering how fond Hagrid was of Jacob Cromwell, she’d still always found him sweet in his own weird way, and Minerva McGonagall -- how anyone could dream to attack her, Mia couldn’t even fathom.

The worst news of all, though, was the one Mia received through an owl from Callie in the wee hours of the morning of June 19, 1996.

The eagle owl had woke Mia up out of a sound sleep with the amount of noise he made tapping against her closed window. No matter how tired and irritable the chocolatier was at being awoken so abruptly, however, her mind bolted awake with alarm when she took in the first few words.

Mia,

The Evening Prophet has just confirmed our worst fears.

You-Know-Who is back.

Mia felt like her heart had stopped.

No. No, no, no --

Her mind racing at a million miles a minute, she tore through the rest of the letter.

He and his Death Eaters broke into the Department of Mysteries last night, supposedly getting all the way to the room that holds a series of prophecies. Nobody knows exactly what he was doing down there or what he was looking for, but the report says that Potter and Dumbledore and a couple of others were there to stop him. One of those people -- which confirms Harry Potter’s testimony about Peter Pettigrew somehow surviving! -- was Sirius Black, who died at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange while fighting the Death Eaters. You-Know-Who and his people fled after the Minister and his support staff arrived.

I’m sorry if this is hard to read -- I’m having a lot of trouble not shaking. Oh, Mia, Mia, what are we going to do...?

Please stay safe. Please, take care of Dad and Mum.

Your Loving Sister,

Callie

Mia felt like her throat had clenched up, making her unable to breathe. She collapsed back into the chair in front of her desk, Callie’s letter fluttering down onto the floor.

So it was true. All along, the terrible feeling she’d had, the outcome she’d feared, but had so desperately, desperately didn’t want to be true...

The Dark Lord was back -- really back. The terrifying Dark Wizard that had been a bogeyman for Mia and her sisters, while they were at school -- the man who terrified the Wizarding World, while the Flumes huddled together in the safety of the shadow of Hogwarts...was back, and back at full strength. His army had been restored, thanks in large part to the Azkaban breakout and the dementors turning against their guards...and if the reports of giant activity could be believed, that army was soon going to be a much bigger one.

And worst of all...the Ministry of Magic had lied to them. They’d lied! They knew the danger, they knew how bad things were getting for both wizards and Muggles, and they’d lied! They’d sent representatives to Hogwarts, not to improve its failings or promote higher education, but to persecute anyone who didn’t crow the party line, all in an effort to cover up the fact that everything coming out of their mouths was a LIE!

Mia felt herself shaking with both terror and righteous fury as she cupped her hands over her face.

“...There’s a War coming. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon. Real soon.”

The memory of Jacob Cromwell’s words were like cold poison in her blood. Tears spilled loose from Mia’s eyes as she gave a mad kick to the back of her desk, unable to hold in the violent emotions beating at the inside of her heart.

Mia had always been the sort to have faith in authority. Even despite all of the failings of the Hogwarts staff while she was at school, she at least always had faith that they cared about their students. But now...now she was forced to accept that the only thing the Minister had truly cared about was himself. And that was a truly bitter pill to swallow.

For the next hour, all Mia could do was sob at her desk. It wasn’t until she heard a CRACK outside of someone Apparating in the street that Mia shot out of her daze.

Her entire frame stiffening with irrational fear, Mia catapulted over to the window. When she looked out, though, she didn’t see a Death Eater standing in front of Honeydukes...but Florean.

For you see, Florean Fortescue had just received word about the Dark Lord’s return as well, and in an impulsive decision decided he had to make sure Mia was all right. It was only when he arrived that he realized just how early it was and therefore just how insensitive it would be to wake the whole house up, just to ensure Mia’s well-being. As fate would have it, though, Mia had been awake and seen his arrival -- and so within a minute, she’d come running downstairs in her oversized T-shirt, pajama pants, and slippers, right out into the street, to try to prevent him from leaving.

“Florean!”

Florean turned, startled. At the sight of Mia’s tear-stained, emotional face, though, he instantly melted. He swept right over to her, throwing his arms out and pulling her into his arms.

“Mia,” he breathed against the top of her head.

Mia clutched at the back of his shirt. “Florean...”

His arms should’ve been warm -- they’d always been so warm -- and yet now, in this moment, all she could feel was a numbing, paralyzing cold.

A War...what could she or her family hope to do, in the face of a War? Sure, Mia herself had been in the Dueling Club, but going up against Dark wizards? She’d never have thought she’d ever have to do that in a million years! And her sister and mother didn’t even have that distinction. And with her father’s condition...if Ambrosius turned into a dog, he’d be helpless against the likes of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named...

Mia hadn’t even realized how much she’d been shaking until Florean had fully descended upon her, securing her head in the crook of his neck and cradling her against his chest with his much taller frame like a blanket.

“Mia,” he whispered.

It was just her name, nothing more -- and yet the sound of it on his lips said so much. She could hear him wanting to comfort her, to reassure her, while also feeling as though he didn’t fully know how. She could hear his anxiety about the world: the heartbreak, seeing their whole peaceful world come crumbling down around their ears. She could hear his fears -- his fear for his grandfather, his shop, for her...the longing he felt, wishing that they’d be able to face this together as husband and wife, rather than just as associates and friends.

And what he said next, in such a soft, yet firm whisper, only seemed to make these feelings bloom into a blossom of understated, yet blazing courage.

“It’ll be okay.”

Mia choked. Fresh tears spilled out of her eyes as she clung to him more tightly than ever. Florean rocked her back and forth like a child, murmuring beside her hair.

“It w-will, Mia. I promise. He fell once before -- he will fall again. I p-promise you. ...I promise...”

Florean was never so articulate in words as he was on the page, but his sincerity rippled through every word all the same. And in that moment, all Mia could do was wrap herself up in his modest, understated courage, desperately longing to have the same kind of faith that he did.

[thisdayinmetal]

TONIC BREED "Fuel The Fire" w/ New Music Video ft. Dirk Verbeuren (Megadeth), Bernt Jansen (Artch/Wig Wam)

Norwegian one-man thrash Tonic Breed‘s is unleashing the latest music video for the opening title track off the latest EP “Fuel The Fire”. The video features guests Dirk Verbeuren (Megadeth) and Bernt Jansen (Artch/Wig Wam). “Fuel the Fire: A song that repeats itself twice with two different endings, which correlates with the lyrics. A new start, let us say it like that. Fast, energic, and…

[huariqueje]

Houses on the Strook in Kolhorn  -    Dirk Breed , c. 1990.

Dutch,  1920-2004

Oil on canvas, 70 x 80 cm. 

[dirksawesomesprites]

editing / fixing sprites + my headcanons

Part 1: Beta Lowbloods

Aradia Megdio

without bag

with bag

dead

she uses she/they and is demigirl and bisexual. her horns are covered in a layer of dust from scavaging for fossils and living in an underground hive. she wears a messanger bag that she uses to keep all of her fossile hunting materials and other things. she uses the fossils to decorate her hive and shes goth (original i know). her matesprit is sollux and her moirail is feferi.

Tavros Nitram

he uses he/him and is a cis guy (just is slightly feminine) he is mlm/gay. he loves fairycore and his favourite dog breed is a golden retriver (speficially the human version dave showed him, not alternian.) his robot legs will occasionslly malfcution, causing them to either get locked in place, squeak loudly, or get sticky joints. dave constantly has to call dirk over to fix his legs. his matesprit is dave, moirail is gamzee, and he has a black crush on gamzee (not very "black" though, mostly a "i can fix him" mentality but it ends up being "i can fix him but itll make me worse in the prossess) type stuff. its a pale leaning black thing.

Sollux Captor

he uses they/he/she and is bisexual and bigender (original i know but its kinda funny concidering my headmate with a sollux source is bisexual and bigender so im stealing that). hes emo and has a johnnie guilbert shrine in his hive he swears is ironic. he is colour blind (blue colour blindess specifically) so he sees voilet/purple as a ugly brown thats why he calls eridan ugly so much. he plays the synthesizer. hes double jointed and likes to gross his friends out with it. his shoes were orignially both white but he lost the second one but was too lazy to find it so he just wears the same brand shoe but different colours. theyre vans shoes. his matesprit is aradia , his moirail is dave , his kismesis is eridan , and his auspistice is karkat.

Karkat Vantas

he uses they/he, theyre nonbinary / transmasculine (has top scars and is technially transmasc but is also nonbinary i dont know if im saying this right) and is unlabeled for sexuality (they kiss guys but is unlabeled take with that what you will) they are punk even if they dont particualerly dress like it. their sweatpants are too big and their sweater is too small / tight so theyre a small gap of stomach showing. he purrs when happy, sleepy, or comfortable. when he gets scared their voice cracks and squeaks. when theyre alone listening to music in their hive hell jump around bouncing off stuff pretending to play the guitar and screaming / singing at the top of his lungs to the song. his matesprit is gamzee, his moirial is eridan, his kismesis is dave, and they aupistice for eridan and sollux.

Nepeta Lejion

she uses she/meow and is girlflux, catgender (original i know), grey romantic, and asexual. when she paints on her shipping wall she tends to get paint all over her and it has since stained her jacket. she has had her hat since she was very little and its very streched out and worn. same with her tail as its not part of her, it drags on the ground behind her and gets dirt, sticks and leaves caught in it most of the time. she likes to play the xylophone, read warrior cats, and play animal jam with equius. she purrs when she his happy / sleepy / comfy like karkat. her matesprit is feferi and her moirail is equius.

[hydro-city-zone]

DIRK STRIDER

Lore under the cut

The rest of the au can be found here.

Artisan of the garage, rare breed of outdoorsy greasemonkey

Takes care of himself, all alone after the Doc passed with exception to his brain-clone AI targeting system 'Hal'

Busts up rogue robots with his Atomic Blaster to protect his island

Bonded with Roxy over retro gaming, Jake over adventures and Jane over discussions of the ethics of A.I

Has a close bond with his trusty steed, GHoof

Knight of Heart, Wielder of Busterkind

[legallypunkin]

Here’s my rendition of the Homestuck kids as trolls. I used preexisting canon (or postcanon) trollsona sprites as a jumping off point, though for some I couldn’t.

(Here’s the trolls as kids!!)

Design explanations will be under the cut.

Jake English: I chose to make Jake burgundy due to the Hiveswap description. I personally am not too much of a fan of these descriptions, as they really only apply to the main twelve trolls, if even that, but I was otherwise lost on Jake. His socks are indigo to reference the Alternian idea of wearing the blood color of someone you share a quadrant with, especially as a lowblood, to signify that you shouldn't be messed with. His horns are taken from Calliope's trollsona, as Jake is the closest relative to Lord English, and there's probably some symbolism there. As for the name "Jaking Enlish", I simply scrambled his original name a bit to make it fit the 6x6 naming conventions.

Dave Strider: I chose to make Dave gold due to his early shown proficiencies with tech. The horns are taken from his canon trollsona, and them having two starting points before merging into a single horn at the tip is similar to that of a few background Hiveswap trolls. His name is a reference to Davesprite, being a crow.

Roxy Lalonde: She is very connected to cats, even down to her human symbol, so who am I to get rid of that connection? Her horns are meant to look both like cat ears as well as hearts, and her hair was reshaped a bit for a spikier appearance. Her dress is her party dress, and, as seen in Jake's trollsona, Roxy too wears the blood color of someone she is in quadrants with. Her name isn't too much of a change.

Jade Harley: I made Jade jade because I thought it was funny, that is literally it. Her original trollsona was pretty good, and I replaced her god tier fit with a sort of horrid amalgamation of some other fits. Now that we've seen Fiamet with a tail, I figured I could give Jade one as well as ears, and I figure her working in the brooding caverns gives her a much lower likelihood of early culling. She also does breed the frogs, so that's got to be worth something. Her shoes are red because red seems to be one color which numerous trolls of all castes accessorize with, and her name is a combination of - you guessed it - the words "Jade" and "pup", with her last name remaining the same.

John Egbert: John gets to be a tealblood almost entirely due to his father. He's an unassuming guy from the suburbs who does menial officework. This also seems to be the fate of many tealbloods, so boom. Teal John. His horns are similar to those of Xefros, as, again, unassuming protagonist guy. I did give him sharper teeth, though, as burgundy bloods are the only caste with dull teeth, and I also fixed up his hair a bit. His name comes from a combination of "John" and "June" because I am a fan of both, and again, his last name remains the same.

Dirk Strider: The ties between Dirk and Equius are unavoidable, of course Dirk is going to be indigo. His horn is taken from his trollsona. His name is just "Dirk" but fancier and longer.

Rose Lalonde: Violet because of the horrorterrors. Took her original trollsona and gave it piercings because she's simply too goth not to. I also changed up her original dress a bit, made it more vibrant and closer to violet. Her name follows Roxy's pattern, but now with a closed consonant to end it off.

Jane Crocker: If you didn't think I was going to make her fuschia, you don't understand the depths of my autism. Her entire family line is fuschia, what other color COULD I make her?? Her trollsona is so baked into her appearance here, alongside her crockertier form. Still, Jane is butch in my heart of hearts, so she got to wear a suit instead of a dress (taken from Dave's sprites) and her pair of shorts and slippers(?). Her name is taken from her friend's nickname for her, "Janey".

[rm6y7m6]

Dirk pendant is breeding :D

[hereticpriest]

Masterlist

MDNI

Series

Mercy

Rating: Explicit 18+

Relationship: Obi-Wan Kenobi x Reader

To begin with, some warnings about this story: A/B/O Dynamics, Female Alpha, Male Omega, Some chapters may involve messing with the whole 'alphas are always dom and omegas are always sub' because I think nuance exists even in A/B/O dynamics, Fucking with the timeline (this is a blend of Canon, Legends, and original lore), Minimal use of Y/N (Explained in the first chapter), Reader is an alien species of my own creation and thus has a physical description, Familial bonds explored heavily, Clone rights explored heavily, Violence is more graphic than canon-typical however any graphic descriptions will be noted, AFAB reader, Not beta-read so I apologize for any mistakes.

Read on AO3

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight - Part Nine - Part Nine Point Five - Part Ten -

Miniseries

The Typist - Laszlo Kreizler and his Bitey Wife

Bite - Laszlo Kreizler x reader ft odaxelagnia

Chew - Laszlo Kreizler x reader ft odaxelagnia, prequel to Bite

Swallow - Laszlo Kreizler x reader ft odaxelagnia, prequel to Bite and sequel to Chew

Gulp - Laszlo Kreizler x reader ft lactation and mommy kink, sequel to Swallow

Alpha Mine - Laszlo Kreizler x reader ft Omegaverse, AU to The Typist series

Bokeh - Niki Lauda and his Photographer Wife (Mouse)

Muse - Niki Lauda x photographer!reader ft soft femdom and bondage and breeding

What Happens in Ibiza - Niki Lauda x photographer!reader x James Hunt ft threesomes, double penetration and anal

Life and Death - Niki Lauda x photograhper!reader x James Hunt ft heavy hurt/comfort and mild petplay

Brûlée - Dirk Brûlée and his Single Mama

Sriracha - Dirk Brûlée x single mom!reader ft sex toys/sybian

Red Carpet - Dirk Brûlée x single mom!reader ft breeding

Victory - Helmut Zemo and his Super Soldier

Pyrrhic - Baron Helmut Zemo x Reader ft 14k of HYDRA being the worst and Helmut Zemo being a consent king

Clutch - Helmut Zemo x Reader ft daddy kink, Hydra hunting and impact play

Oneshots

The Bath - Baron Helmut Zemo x Reader ft cockwarming

Ctrl and Power - Ernst Schmidt x Reader ft rough sex and secret relationships

Ganache - Tony Balerdi x Original Male Character ft food play and body worship

Requests and Prompts

Reader likes to come up behind Zemo and kiss or bite him

Roman Sionis fucking reader in his club and being a show off about it (and also he's a total switch)

Roman Sionis making female reader cockwarm him during a gang meeting

Obi-Wan Kenobi noticing female reader's tattoos after sex and pausing to enjoy them

[uncharismatic-fauna]

Great Skua (Stercorarius skua)

Habitat & Distribution

Typically found on the open ocean, except for the breeding season when it roosts on grassy islands

Distributed throughout the northern Atlantic Ocean

Physical Description

Weight: 1.27 kg to 1.41 kg (2 lb 13 oz to 3 lb 2 oz)-- females are typically heavier than males

Wingspan: 125–140 cm (49–55 in)

Both sexes are greyish brown with lighter speckling along the wings and chest

Behaviour

Their primary source of food is fish, although they may also consume eggs, carrion, rodents, rabbits, and other birds

Although they can hunt for themselves, they mainly source their food by stealing from other birds, and may even directly attack targets in order to secure a meal

They have no known predators

Key Advantages

Greater skua are capable of long flights over large distances

Their large size and sharp beak enables them to drive other birds away from their food, or kill them outright

Photo by Dirk-Jan van Roest

[scribbledkingdomstuck]

Royalty means you have horses right? dirk do you have any favorites?

DIRK: I have a warhorse called Blue. I’ve had her for years, and I used to spend a lot of time around her when I had less duties. She belonged to an old military commander before she ended up with me.

DIRK: Dave has a horse too, a smaller breed the royal family has had since she was a colt. I’ve caught him sneaking treats to her too many times to count.

(Ooc: Maplehoof supremacy. Also some info on the research I did for this ask: Dirk’s horse is a Shire breed, which are like 64-72 inches tall. The color is specifically called a roan blue, which are absolutely gorgeous).

[turntechgothhead69420]

a list of animals i think the homestuck kids would be with like minimal exploitation

John Egbert: Orange cat (ferret maybe if they didn’t scare me)

Rose Lalonde: Devon rex cat idk feels right

Jade Harley: Samoyed dog she silly

Dave Strider: idfk a pitbull or smth that wants too be silly but is just a goof, id say a small breed but im probably bias because small breeds are my favorite and im dave for real (trust)

Jane Crocker: fish because shes evil. fish are evil

Roxy Lalonde: Selkirk rex fluffy silly kitties

Jake English: Maltese dudes got small dog energy idk

Dirk Strider: Doberman Pincher dudes got mega dog energy and hear me out hear me out, he’s a shitty guard who will do what he feels will help his friends if it kills him, and it probably will, hes stuck in his own mental health that it’ll leave him chasing some imaginary goal that he thinks will make people see hes good enough but everyone around him are like “yo dude…. stop that” but he wont listen. doberman also normally only bond too 2 or 3 people :3!!!