hereticpriest

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Relax 📙🐶

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we love Karlach

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End of an era

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Look, I'm not a "details" person, all right?

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I need more of Astarion being an absolute undead fucking weirdo. No more suave charming elf man NO this man forgets to breathe for prolonged periods of time and randomly gasps or croaks because he can't speak without air in his lungs. He lurks in dark corners with weird reflective eyes and doesn't move until you notice him. He's SUPER into the scent of his lover and buries his face in their neck or chest while taking in a BIG snorf. He gets very affectionate when he notices his partner is on their period or is bleeding from other causes. He doesn't make noise when approaching someone and often scares the shit out of them because he just silently shows up behind them. He's addicted to the warmth of his partner and rubs his body against them like a cat. He makes animalistic grunts and moans while he feeds. He forgets to blink and just stares at people with wide eyes while they talk. He stares at his lovers pulse point instead of looking in their eyes. He growls when displeased. Sometimes he smiles just a tad too wide. He watches his lover sleep and waits for them to wake up for them to find him just staring them down, unblinking. He's a fucking freak and I love him to bits I need more weirdo Astarion.

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astarion you're breaking my heart man

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I need someone to do a video essay-length deep dive into how 75% of the BG3 fandom fell so hard for Astarion's manipulative seductor act that they believe that's his actual personality. This man has to practice his lines and still fumbles them constantly. He flat-out says it's all a front because he believes his sex appeal is the only reason anyone would keep him around, which is tragic. When he drops the act, he becomes this kind of silly man rediscovering what it means to be himself, and what it means to both love and be loved. He says "I'm all pointy ears, love." while turning his head to show off those pointy ears. Let him be silly, let him be awkward! It's so much more authentic then him being a walking innuendo.

He has a mid charisma stat with a bonus for deception and rolled a nat 20 on all y'all.

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a little self-indulgent comic :>

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remember how young and scared we were?

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Support 🙏

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im cooking

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Pictured: Gale rolling a nat 1 on his insight check

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It is absolutely critical to my personal headcanon that Emmrich paints Rook’s nails when she’s sick, restless, and too high on cough syrup to function.

She wants to do it herself because she’s bored out of her goddamn mind, but her motor skills are officially out of service. A determined little rat, twitching with the need to paint her nails, except she’s missing the mark by several inches.

So Emmrich, with his very steady hands, takes over. And oh, would you fucking look at that: he knows about multiple coats. He knows about base coats. Top coats. He even has a fast-drying one on hand.

Rook, still high as a kite: “What does this MEAN, Emmrich?? Emmrich, WHY did you never paint your nails with me?? DID YOU DO IT WITH JOHANNA???”

Peepaw grumbles something about the apocalypse not being the right time for manicures, but still finishes hers to absolute perfection.

The man knows how to snort coke, get a PhD, and paint nails like a goddamn professional. What a fucking catch.

Rook asks him if he wants a tip. Emmrich immediately narrows his eyes because he knows this is a setup for pure bullshit.

”…Or do you want to give me just the tip?”

He smothers her with a pillow on sight, walks the fuck out, leaves her for dead. He still brings her tea later, though, because she’s gonna need the hydration and he is Very Considerate (TM)

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Doodles of Emmrich and Dahlia

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Translation: HI GRANDMA! HI GRANDPA! I'M BEL! I LOVE YOU!

A lil sorta-sequel to this post:

(forgive me, I do not know how to just... add the link in the actual text. I used to. But now I'm old.)

Hearing all the BS from EA's CEO got me craving some saccharine half-qunari baby sweetness. DA fanart is now an act of protest and rebellion against the corporate machine.

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Solas counting to ten after his vhenan dead ass asks if he wants to be scratched behind the ears like a good boy.

"Why are you like this?"

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So I'm just working on that Emmrook modern AU where they're stuck in weird investigation together.