#Desert Witch Novel

[nuclearpasta]

WWW.TENEARTHSHATTERINGBLOWS.COM

A selfless gentleman helps his enemy strategize.

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[basicallyanotherwitchesthing]

Gustave Flaubert - The Temptation of St. Anthony - Rarity Press (private print) - 1932 (illustrations by Jean De Bosschere)

[torchwood-99]

Eowyn "The Deserter"

The thing about this debate is that it's not rooted in anything Tolkien included in the novel. It has absolutely no narrative weight or relevance.

Post Eowyn's charge to the Pelennor, there is zero indication that she was condemned, or should be condemned, as a deserter.

She was assisted by Elfhelm and the men in his Eored, who turned a blind eye to her presence.

Her presence was vindicated by the narrative through her defeat of the Witch King.

Her actions on the battlefield were praised by everybody, with Eomer declaring she should be laid to rest beside Theoden in full honour, before he even knew of the Witch King's defeat.

Aragorn and Faramir both declared that her deeds had earned her great renown and has put her on equal standing with legendary queens of old.

Eowyn had to overcome her despair and her desirre for death in battle, but at no point does she have to accept any blame or regret for her actions.

Eowyn declares the shadow has passed directly after Faramir tells her that she is a "lady high and valiant" with deeds that will not be forgotten. Eowyn's path to healing is aided by her hearing and accepting that she is wonderful and deserves all the good stuff.

Back in Edoras, she is "in bliss", and her betrothal to Faramir is toasted and celebrated by all. No indication anyone has a problem with her.

The appendices noted that in Rohan, her deeds were celebrated, and she was forever remembered as "the Lady of the Shield-Arm".

Eowyn the Deserter is something the fandom made up.

Look at her actions factually. She stood by her uncle at the expense of her own ambitions, in the defiance of her own nature, while withstanding sexual harassment, mental abuse and the threat of force marriage and rape, in order to tend to her uncle. A charge she alone had foisted on her, at the age of nineteen, according the year Theoden's illness began, because she was a woman.

After Theoden's recovery, she received zero credit from her uncle, but was instead once more relegated to the task that no one else wanted, a task that all others had the choice to refuse, after her uncle outright forgot she was part of her family.

At this point, she would have had every right to turn around and say "fuck you all", but instead she rounded up the civilians, lead them from their homes, something many of them were reluctant to do, and took them to a place of refuge and safety. She then organised the refuge camp and saw that all was organised and the people were settled.

When she rode to the Pelennor, (with the assist of Elfhelm and his riders) Erkenbrand remained behind, with troops to defend the people. A protector and a leader was provided, and considering his military support, one significantly more crucial and powerful than Eowyn.

She then managed to take down an extremely deadly and dangerous enemy, one that, had he lived, would have made an already improbable victory even more difficult to attain, and would most certainly have resulted in an greater loss of life. This at great risk and cost to herself.

This accomplished, she finally, finally gets some bloody credit, and it is so telling that a not too small part of the fandom, instead of looking at the sacrifices she made, instead of looking at the skills she used, instead of looking at the years of steadfast service she provided to Theoden, sacrifices asked of no one else, instead of looking at the many, many lives she saved because of her decisions and because of her choices, they quibble and go "oooh but she was told to stay behind, and the people left in Dunharrow didn't have her to lead them, leaving them as helpless and vulnerable as sheep, even though Erkenbrand has charge of the troops and these are grown men and women".

Some outright make up stuff that goes completely against the text of the book, insisting her sex had nothing to do with the orders given to her, and that she was left behind because Theoden meant to have her as an heir, even Theoden specifically said that if he and Eomer were to die, the people of Rohan were to choose another leader from amongst themselves.

I've even seen people try to put her actions on a par with Grima's, because "both were selfish", as though there is any sort of equivalency between a woman who sacrificed her own sanity tending to her uncle, before leading her people to a place of refuge and then risking her neck defeating a deadly enemy, to the man who worked to de-stabalise his country and bring about untold death and suffering for the promised reward of riches and a chance to rape someone.

You want to know if Eowyn is a heroine or a deserter? Ask someone from Rohan, they'll either laugh at the prospect she's anything but a heroine, or outright clobber you for daring to suggest she's a deserter.

[so-many-ocs]

user so many ocs, my beloved, fellow Locked Tomb enjoyer, I am about to finish Nona and I am losing my mind because nothing will fill the Gideon Nav sized hole in my heart (lol). do you perchance have any recommendations of what I can read next that's similar to TLT?

ok i wanna preface this by saying i've only read GtN (i needed time to recover after the first one and left HtN at my parents' house for the semester lol but by virtue of Existing On Tumblr i know most of what happens in the series + i plan to read HtN asap)

BUT LET'S GO!! (storygraph summaries linked)

if you liked gideon the ninth, try:

This is How You Lose the Time War by Max Gladstone & Amal El-Mohtar - maybe i just read these 2 really close together but Time War has time travel, space fuckery, gut-wrenching sapphic yearning, and a drily humorous tone all packed into the span of less than 200 pages.

She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan - historical fantasy, rich worldbuilding, one of my All-Time Favorite Books (right alongside Time War and Gideon the Ninth lol)

Babel: An Arcane History by R.F. Kuang - historical fantasy, political intrigue, silver possesses the ability to manifest any meaning lost in translation between languages.

Cosmoknights by Hannah Templer - graphic novel (2 books out now); princesses, politics, and gladiator-style fights, but in space!

now for books i haven't read (on my tbr) that others have recommended for fans of TLT:

The Unbroken by C.L. Clark - fantasy, desert empire, a soldier and a princess "haggling" over the price of a nation.

The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri - fantasy/romance, one seeking revenge, one seeking family.

The Ones We Burn by Rebecca Mix - fantasy, girl who is a monster (favorite trope of Ever btw), witches, kingdoms, and assassinations.

Crier's War by Nina Valera - fantasy with some sci-fi elements(?), humans vs. robots but with a twist! i want to read this so bad but have not found it anywhere

this list has some of the books i've recommended here, as well as a couple others i haven't! most of the books i've recommended are sapphic or at least lgbtq as well if that's something you're specifically interested in :)

lastly, storygraph does have a "browse similar books" feature, though i'm not sure how accurate it is as i've yet to really try it out!

i hope that was helpful !!!

[akajustmerry]

hey merry! i noticed you just started the show, so how're you liking dark winds so far?

I started and finished it in less than a week. suffice to say, I really enjoyed it! here's some quickfire thoughts (note: I'm Aboriginal/First Nations "Australian" so I'm speaking as a non-Native to the so called US) <3

Something I loved about it as an Indigenous person is that every character has a different relationship to their ceremony and cultural beliefs. You have Bern who's totally immersed, Joe who wants to but struggles because of his grief, and Jim who's skeptical af. I liked that so much because it's very real. at least in my family and community. Everyone's degree of belief is different for different reasons!!

Bern and Jim oh my FUCKING God. I was GIGGLING and KICKING MY FEET. a+ culturally specific slowburn. when he asked her about her tribe?? when she gave him the protection medicine? when he says there's nothing on the rez for him and she says "I'm here"? WHEN SHE LEAVES AND HE RETURNS THE PROTECTIVE JEWELLERY??? 🥹🥰🥹🥰

I preferred the first season to the second. I think it was shot better and had a better executed mystery. The cinematography in season one was so gorgeous. It had a very distinctive almost sunny yet gothic feel, but the second season was shot more conventionally. I hated the colour splash sequences.

Emma's sub-plot of helping other women avoid forced sterilisation was so awesome. Deserves its own show to be honest. That sequence where she tells the patient in Dineʼ (under the guise of translating for the white doc) that she should not have her baby in hospital because the white doctors will sterilise her? One of the best character intros I've ever seen, and I love how it tails off in season 2 with her agreeing to go public with what's happening.

I love Bern so MUCH. Jess Mattern is so GOOD. her encounters with the witch are CHILLING. Her pure dedication to her cultural beliefs is so inspiring. She's also one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen and I'm so gay. My only thing is......in WHAT universe is becoming a BORDER PATROL officer gonna mean you encounter LESS injustice. smh!!!

Kiowa Gordon as a 1970s suave FBI deserter turned hire out of a highway hotel private eye full of love for his community?? That's my dream gender!!!!!!! Also......it must be said....i need him.

Finally, even though I could tell Graham Roland and the writers made HUGE efforts to shift the white gaze of the novels Dark Winds was based on, there was just some moments/attitudes in the series that felt Off. maybe I'm over sensitive to copaganda idk but yeah there was just a little too much.......rampant individual American heroism and pro-cop/military stuff at times that made me roll my eyes as a non-usAmerican viewer

anyways, looking forward to having a reason to stay alive until 2025 (when season 3 comes out!)

[choiceofgames]

Pon Para and the Unconquerable Scorpion

"Pon Para and the Unconquerable Scorpion." Chosen by the gods, betrayed by your king, you must stop the Scorpion!

https://www.choiceofgames.com/pon-para-2/

The philosopher witch Teijia has unleashed a new weapon: a scorpion-god whose venom poisons the very foundations of reality! As the edges of the world disintegrate, the nomadic Stormraiders make one final, desperate push to defeat the Three Nations and carve out their own kingdom.

This time you'll need more than the sign of your god and a few friends: to end the war and save the world from destruction, you'll need an army! Establish yourself as a warlord, crime boss, or divine leader and cross oceans and deserts to find a weapon that can stop the Unconquerable Scorpion!

Old Friends and Enemies Return. Once again find friendship, enmity, or romance with Melaxu the nymph philosopher and Tamur the Desert Empire spy. But beware: the Stormraiders Galimar and Gisla are back too. And what will your own rulers, King Hyras and the Desert Empress, demand of you this time?

New Heroes, New Threats. Recruit Col the satyr general and his young ward Clannath, a crow-woman cursed by the God of Rage. Claim territory across two nations and scheme to protect your followers. But beware the ambitions of the dark priests…and of the priests of Heaven, who still consider you a heretic and enemy of the gods!

The End of Philosophy? Even as King Hyras and Lord Vankred square off to end the Stormraider War, the witch Teijia unleashes her ultimate weapon: the Emissary Beast Magdala, the Unconquerable Scorpion, whose venom can destroy the engines that maintain the World That Remains. What can stop a creature forged by the gods to be unstoppable? Return to the World That Remains. Make yourself at home!

"Pon Para and the Unconquerable Scorpion" is an interactive fantasy novel by Kyle Marquis, where your choices control the story. It's entirely text-based—742,000 words and hundreds of choices long, without graphics or sound effects—and fueled by the vast, unstoppable power of your imagination.

[liesmyth]

Any fiction recommendations? I’ve repeatedly read Locked Tomb, natch. I’d love something similarly brainwork inducing but maybe a touch lighter. Also not fantasy or sci fi…I need something to listen to while I do a ton of chores, and those can be hard (for me) because the unfamiliar proper nouns get confusing. :/

anon!! I'm terrible at reccing anything based on “if you liked TLT” because TLT is like five different genres in a trench coat, but I TRIED (⭐) Here are some brainworm-y recs that aren't sff — where by brainworm-y I mean that they stayed with me for a while after I finished them, but aren't overly confusing. (most of them are books, but available on audio)

Podcasts: a tumblr pal recced me the deviser based on me liking the eldritch elements of tlt; it's short and horror-y, and I really enjoyed it.

I haven't checked out the new TMA yet but I see many TLT peeps who are enjoying it (or S1 of the original The Magnus Archives could be a good entry point if you haven't ever listened to it)

TV: Unfortunately I hardly ever watch live action stuff BUT if you haven't seen either IWTV (the series not the film) or Yellowjackets, I do rec those! There's a lot of overlap between these fans and TLT fandom on my dash. His Dark Materials also goes hard and you might enjoy it (dysfunctional characters! worldbuilding! religious weirdness!) but it has more sff elements than other stuff I've recced. Oddball out of nowhere but The Great is a fun show if you enjoy the meme moments of TLT + people being gleefully horrible + having feelings despite your best intentions

Animanga: Utena (!!!!!) also Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, which occupies a very similar space to TLT in my brain

Books!

✧ I went through my “women unhinged” goodreads shelf and found some books that are avaliable in audio format, and might appeal. These are wildly varied in scope and ngl the criterion was just “at least one person (besides myself) who enjoyed tlt also this book” and the similarities stop there. It's all vibes baby! Still, I tried

my heart is a chainsaw by stephen graham jones (horror, slasher), bunny by mona awad (horror, wildly unhinged), the witching hour by anne rice (horror, gothic)

matrix by lauren groff (historical, lesbian nuns), anything by sarah waters (historical fiction + lesbians), rebecca by daphne du maurier (historical, gothic)

the plot by jean hanff korelitz (litfic, thriller), sadie by courtney summers (thriller, coming of age). anything by gillian flynn (thrillers with terrible women).

✧ I really enjoy Tana French thrillers for the strong sense of place, great prose, and the complete emotional turmoil of her character-centric narratives. If anything sounds up your alley, I enjoyed the witch's elm + dublin murder squad series. They're murder mystery procedural but the messy characters really elevate the novels. Available in audiobook also

✧ American Elsewhere, technically scifi but set in New Mexico. Somehow, cosmic horrors who have taken over a quaint little town and worse! They are enforcing HETERONORMATIVITY upon it! They also have tentacles. The main character rocks

✧ Sundial by Catriona Ward: insane, gripping psychological horror. A mother and her unsettling daughter take a trip to the isolate desert ranch where the main chracter grew up. Surrounded by unsettling science experiments

✧ A Touch of Jen by Beth Morgan: when the parasocial relationship is so strong, it accidentally summons a hellmonster from another dimension

✧ SFF adjacent, sorry, but set in the real world (historical, tho) — Cuckoo Song by Frances Hardinge, a middle grade novel with fairytale elements that gave me more brainworms than any kids book ought to, mostly because I LOVED the main character. She occupies a very similar place in my brain as Gideon does. This is actually the only book on the list that I'm not sure is available in audio format, but if you get a chance and it's up your alley, I'd check it out

I hope there's at least ONE thing you'll like in here! lmk (also. lmk if you don't have access to a way to borrow audiobooks but would like to)

[theinquisitxor]

April 2024 Reading Wrap Up

I read 6 books in April, which is honestly more than I thought I would get to at the beginning of this month. April's are historically slow reading months for me, and while this was another slower month, I'm happy with what I read. Audiobooks really saved me this month! I read 2 fantasy books, 3 nonfiction (who am I?) and 1 literary fiction.

1.The Book of Doors by Gareth Brown (3.5/5 stars) This was an anticipated new release for me, and I was very intrigued by the premise. This was enjoyable, but there were some things I didn't really care for. This was engaging and easy to read, and if you liked The Cartographers or The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, I think you'd like this. Adult low fantasy

2.The Wager: A Tale of Shipwreck, Mutiny, and Murder by David Grann (4/5 stars) I really enjoy survival stories and seafaring stories, so I knew I was going to like this. The audiobook was great, and I liked how this was a shorter nonfiction. I'm not sure how much I like the narrative nonfiction that Grann writes in. Either way, this was a super engaging and entertaining read. Nonfiction audiobook

3.Atomic Habits by James Clear. I was not planning on reading this book in April, but I randomly go interested in it. Overall enjoyable, and interesting to see how we structure our lives around habits.

4.Who Cooked the Last Supper: The Women's History of the World by Rosalind Miles (4/5 stars) I read this 80s feminist nonfiction on audio, and while this could get pessimistic and difficult, I found it to be an engaging read with flashes of humor throughout. I would be interested to see what this book would be like published in the 2020s vs the 1980s. Nonfiction audiobook

5.The Bloody Throne (Hostage of Empire 3) by SC Emmett (5/5 stars) This was the fantastic conclusion to one of my favorite new series. Everything came together in this book and delivered an ending well worth the series. I wasn't sure how the series would end, but it was satisfying and bittersweet. I'm going to be talking about this series for a while. Adult fantasy

6. The Wall by Marlen Haushofer (4.5/5 stars) This is a translated dystopian fiction book about a women who is stuck behind a wall while the rest of the world as ended. She only has a cat, dog, and cow as her companions. She must learn to survive and cope with loneliness. I deeply enjoyed this novel, and found many passages that really stuck with me. Parts of this book got me very emotional.

That's it for April! I'm hoping for a strong reading month this May and summer!

May TBR:

The Familiar by Lehigh Bardugo

The Winners (Beartown 3) by Fredrik Backman

The Language of Trees: A rewilding of literature and landscape

Desert Solitare by Edward Abby

Brave the Wild River (nonfiction audiobook)

The Hedgewitch of Fox Hall by Ana Bright

Song of the Huntress by Lucy Holland

The Witch Collector by Charissa Weaks (my Random TBR Pick for May)

[ireadyabooks]

Spring into Extraordinary Graphic Novels from I read YA! 🌷🎨

Graphic novels are one of our favorite reading formats here at I read YA! It’s always such a joy seeing an author bring their magnificent storytelling to life with their artwork or another artist adding their unique spin! The possibilities are endless when it comes to graphic novel styles, and that’s what makes them so perfect! There is something for everyone! We have compiled some of our recent favorite graphic novels below that you should absolutely check out as we welcome spring and warmer weather! Whether you’re looking for stories about an adorable daydreamer, a dark secret, or two boys simply falling in love, we have it all! Happy reading!

Rainbow! Volume 1 by Gloom & Sunny

From Tapas Media, the same webtoon platform that brought you Magical Boy, comes Rainbow!, a new LGBTQ+ YA graphic novel series!

Teenager Boo Meadows has pink hair and a very vivid imagination -- she has trouble separating from the real world. In her daydreams, she dances beautifully at balls or fights monsters as a magical girl. In reality, she has a complicated home life, work stress, school stress, and a wicked crush on the girl of her dreams. When a new student, Mimi, arrives at school, Boo starts exploring a side of herself that she never considered before. As she grows closer with Mimi, it may finally be time for Boo to face reality . . . Who is the real Mimi? The one in her dreams? Or the one in real life?

Rainbow! is perfect for fans of Heartstopper and Magical Boy, full of heart, adorable illustrations, and a storyline that any teenager can relate to!

Start reading Rainbow! Volume 1 now!

Escape From St. Hell by Lewis Hancox

In this sequel to the Indie bestseller Welcome to St. Hell, Lewis Hancox tells the hilarious, inspiring story of coming into his own as a trans man.

For Lew, figuring out he was a guy and wanted to live life as a guy was the end of our journey... and the start of a whole other journey. Escape From St. Hell charts all the changes that Lew wanted to be made in order for him to live as a young trans man -- changes not just to his own body and perspective, but to the perspectives of the family, friends, and enemies around him.

As he did in his bestselling graphic memoir Welcome to St. Hell, Lewis Hancox charts his journey with plenty of laughs, a good number of cringes, and an honesty that takes readers along for the ride of Lew's life.

Start reading Escape From St. Hell now!

The Deep Dark by Molly Knox Ostertag

From Molly Knox Ostertag, writer-illustrator of the New York Times and Indie bestselling The Witch Boy trilogy and The Girl from the Sea, comes a darkly beautiful story of identity, family, love, loss, and magic.

Everyone has secrets. Mags’s has teeth.

Magdalena Herrera is about to graduate high school, but she already feels like an adult with serious responsibilities: caring for her ailing grandmother; working a part-time job; clandestine makeouts with a girl who has a boyfriend. And then there’s her secret, which pulls her into the basement each night, drains her of energy, and leaves her bleeding. A secret that could hurt and even kill if it ever got out -- like it did once before.

So Mags keeps her head down, isolated in her small desert community. That is, until her childhood friend Nessa comes back to town, bringing vivid memories of the past, an intoxicating glimpse of the future, and a secret of her own. Mags won’t get attached, of course. She’s always been strong enough to survive without anyone’s help.

But when the darkness starts to close in on them both, Mags will have to drag her secret into the daylight, and choose between risking everything... or having nothing left to lose.

Start reading The Deep Dark now!

Heartstopper 5 by Alice Oseman

Boy meets boy. Boys become friends. Boys fall in love. The bestselling LGBTQ+ graphic novel about life, love, and everything that happens in between: this is the fifth volume of the much-loved HEARTSTOPPER series, featuring gorgeous two-color artwork.

Nick and Charlie are in love. They’ve finally said those three little words, and Charlie has almost persuaded his mum to let him sleep over at Nick’s house. He wants to take their relationship to the next level... but can he find the confidence he needs? And with Nick going off to university next year, is everything about to change?

By Alice Oseman, winner of the YA Book Prize, Heartstopper encompasses all the small moments of Nick and Charlie’s lives that together make up something larger, which speaks to all of us.

Contains discussions around mental health and eating disorders, and sexual references.

Start reading Heartstopper 5 now!

Stars in Their Eyes by Jessica Walton and Aśka

In this lighthearted YA romance, Maisie and Ollie discover that nothing beats the feeling of falling in love for the first time.

Maisie is on her way to Fancon! She's looking forward to meeting her idol, Kara Bufano, the action hero from her favorite TV show, who has a lower-leg amputation, just like Maisie. But when Maisie and her mom arrive at the convention center, she is stopped in her tracks by Ollie, a cute volunteer working the show. They are kind, charming, and geek out about nerd culture just as much as Maisie does. And as the day wears on, Maisie notices feelings for Ollie that she's never had before. Is this what it feels like to fall in love?

Perfect for fans of Heartstopper and Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me, this graphic novel debut is a fresh, one-of-a-kind story that celebrates the excitement of meeting someone special for the first time.

Start reading Stars in Their Eyes now!

The Good Neighbors by Holly Black and Ted Naifeh

From the bestselling author of The Cruel Prince, an astonishing graphic trilogy set in a faerie world, full of mystery, intrigue, and romance.

From the amazing imagination of bestselling author Holly Black and acclaimed illustrator Ted Naifeh, a mysterious and wonderful faerie saga, for the first time in one volume.

Rue Silver's mother has disappeared... and her father has been arrested, suspected of killing her. But it's not as straightforward as that. Because Rue is a faerie, like her mother was. And her father didn't kill her mother -- instead, he broke a promise to Rue's faerie king grandfather, which caused Rue's mother to be flung back to the faerie world. Now Rue must go to save her -- and defeat a dark faerie that threatens our very mortal world.

Start reading The Good Neighbors now!

[d-8tober]

D8Tober Prompt List (Long Version)

FAQ for the event is available here and the prompts-only version is available here

The Shining

Characters facing an extended period of isolation together, such as a deserted island or a snowed-in building

One of a bazillion movies based off Stephen King stories. A family goes to take care of a haunted hotel for the winter, trapping them with each other. There's probably three movies on this list that are genuine indisputable classics not just within horror but also for movies in general; this is the first of those three. If you haven't seen it, I'd recommend it just for the level of cultural references that depend on it even now.

Do you recommend it?

Absolutely.

Are there sequels?

There's a tv miniseries version made because Stephen King notoriously hated both the Kubrick version and Kubrick himself; it's a soulless mess. There's also a direct sequel made just a few years ago that tries to be a followup both to the King novel version and the Kubrick movie, Doctor Sleep; it got a little overlooked from some bad timing on the release but it's actually incredible and I HIGHLY recommend it.

Saw

Characters making a difficult choice or a required sacrifice.

If you're not a horror fan and you've heard of Saw, you've probably heard it called torture porn. That's a reputation that's almost entirely earned by the sequels, however - the original Saw is a hyper-low budget movie that borders more on thriller than horror, starring Cary Elwes (of Princess Bride and Robin Hood: Men in Tights fame) doing what may be the worst American accent in the history of movies. It's a very grimy movie, for certain, but it's also kind of a taut little mystery.

Do you recommend it?

Yes, though not that strongly.

Are there sequels?

Yes, and they're where the series gets its reputation. The movies involve a theoretically continuous plotline, and they manage to get incredibly convoluted and also increasingly gorey. Personally, I'd recommend just stopping after the first one.

Pet Semetary

A character's favorite pet or other animal.

Another King story, and also a book the man himself claims he can't remember writing and thinks is his most miserable story. I don't think either of the two movie version are that good, but they can be okay - I can't even talk about them without giving away the most major twist, really.

Do you recommend it?

Not really, but it's not actively terrible.

Are there sequels?

There's a recent remake, and the original movie had a truly awful sequel. I'm also told there was a direct-to-Paramount+ prequel to the remake, which I'm sure is every bit the quality that you could expect from a direct to C-tier streaming service horror movie prequel.

Suspiria

Characters exploring dance.

Technically I'm talking about the 70s Italian version here, which is a fever dream of a film made in a style in which all the actors spoke in their various native languages on set and then were overdubbed for all versions of the movie. Taking place in a dance boarding school run by witches, the script was originally written envisioning the students to be children in the 10-12 range and then cast with them as college-aged but without changing any of the dialogue, which honestly just makes it more unsettling. It's stylish as hell.

Do you recommend it?

Yes, but if you're looking for something SLIGHTLY less weird to most modern audiences maybe go for the remake first and loop back.

Are there sequels?

As mentioned, there's a very recent remake that basically takes the framework of dance boarding school run by witches and abandons the rest. There's much more emphasis put on dance (and rather less on 70s progressive rock music) but it has a style all its own. I love both versions, but I slightly prefer the original myself.

The Thing

An imposter; a character replaced by a foe unknowingly.

I'm talking about the 1982 version here; as someone who was born in the 80s but is mostly not on board with 80s nostalgia shit at ALL I make a lone exception for the works of John Carpenter. Taking place at an Antarctic research station, this movie is both known for its paranoia-inducing plot and its incredibly detailed special practical effects. Among Us is 100% not based off this movie, they promise.

Do you recommend it?

Yes, wholeheartedly.

Are there sequels?

There's a prequel from the mid 2010s that basically uses the exact same plot but replaces the practical effects with CGI (which has already aged poorly) and has less interesting characters overall. It's not the worst thing in the world - the plot is good! - but why watch it when you could just watch the 1982 version instead?

Friday the 13th

Violence without glory or mercy.

There are a million of these, of course, featuring Jason Vorhees murdering a bunch of people in various sometimes-creative but usually not fashions. The original isn't that, though; it's a cheap Halloween knockoff with boring kills, shoddy acting, and maybe the world's worst who-dun-it mystery. (Jason is not the killer and in fact never really appears.)

Do you recommend it?

Absolutely not.

Are there sequels?

There are SO MANY sequels. None of them climb all the way up to good, though most are at least a little better than the original; personally the one I enjoy the most is Jason X, the one in space, which at least is aware of how fucking bad it is and dances in the sewage a bit.

Scream

A metatextual story or image.

Breathing some fresh air into horror in the mid-90s after like fifteen years of the same stale slasher series limping along, Scream still holds up quite well today - I watched it last year. The cold open of the movie alone would be an incredible short horror film. Also, it's the first R-rated movie I saw in theaters, at far too young an age to probably be watching it in theaters (I was 10). Movie theaters really didn't give a shit before Columbine happened, I have to tell you.

Do you recommend it?

A strong yes. Genuinely, as a writer, there's a lot to learn in this movie, which is VERY funny without actually being a horror-comedy.

Are there sequels?

Yes; none of them are as good as the original, but none of them are BAD necessarily.

You're Next

Betrayal from a beloved one.

A home invasion movie where it turns out the main character and designated final girl to be grew up with survivalists and is WAY prepared for a situation where people are trying to murder the shit out of her.

Do you recommend it?

Yes, though it's a milder recommendation than some of the others on the list. The violence in this one is a little more realistic than many of the others, as well, so know that going in.

Are there sequels?

Nope, this one's a pure stand-alone.

Alien

Placing profits above safety; an anti-capitalist message

A crew of a spaceship finds they have an unwanted stowaway. Actually, multiple ones. Honestly the idea that someone in circumstances to be reading this wouldn't at least have a vague idea what happens in this movie is baffling to me.

Do you recommend it?

YES. Yes, yes, yes. This may be one of the twenty or thirty best movies ever made, and made 45 years ago or not it still LOOKS great.

Are there sequels?

Bunches, in complicated branches that would require flowcharts to fully explain. Aliens, the most direct sequel, might actually be better even though Alien is one of the best movies of all time in my books; after that, it drops off in a hurry but if you want more and an expanded universe and all then hey, you've got that going for you.

An American Werewolf in London

Werewolves! Either all characters are, or one is newly turned into one.

A comedy-horror that is more or less what it says in the title; an American in London gets bitten by what locals definitely won't admit is a werewolf, and then things happen.

Do you recommend it?

Eeeeh. The movie itself is okay, not great. The director is a, ah, controversial figure MOSTLY known for his work with comedies and also his work in running unsafe sets that got actors harmed or killed, including two children and one adult on the set of the Twilight Zone movie; unfortunately, he also made a number of movies that ARE legitimately classics of my childhood, this just isn't one of them. I just wanted a movie where I could prompt werewolves. Werewolves are great.

Are there sequels?

There's one, An American Werewolf in Paris, which involves none of the same people and is actively terrible.

Freaky

Body swap two or more characters

The movie was pitched as Freaky Friday but instead of getting swapped with her mom the main high school character gets body swapped with a slasher movie killer, played by Vince Vaughn. Legitimately this one's a lot of fun, made by the same people who made the Groundhog's Day inspired Happy Death Day, and also it's VERY bloody.

Do you recommend it?

This one was literally the Halloween recommendation I gave my mom last year.

Are there sequels?

No, at least not yet.

Evil Dead

Characters not leaving well enough alone, and pushing into danger from curiosity.

A very classic 'group goes to an isolated place and then dies one by one' kind of movie, this was Sam Raimi's first movie, starring his college buddy Bruce Campbell. There's a lot of genius in this, but it also does have some real rough spots, and in some ways is basically a student film.

Do you recommend it?

Honestly for most new viewers I'd recommend skipping to the second one, which basically remakes the first one for the first half and then continues from there. There's a lot of filmmaking brilliance on display in a much less raw but still campy state in Evil Dead 2.

Are there sequels?

Yes, even beyond the second one there are several plus a TV show. Army of Darkness and the TV show are more fantasy adventure comedy things, and a lot of fun; the remake and the recent sequel to the remake, on the other hand, cut out all the campy humor elements of the original and play them straight horror and end up being pretty divisive as a result. I recommend everything in the series, though.

It Follows

Characters regretting a relationship

A remarkably low death count on screen in this one, which is a tense movie about a shapeshifting monster that gets passed off STD-style and steadily walks towards the current target, killing them if they catch up but moving on to stalking their partner if they hook up first. Features a memorable score, in particular, enough so that I'm mentioning it here.

Do you recommend it?

Lukewarmly yes; it's good, but I don't think it's great. This one's got a real cult following, though, which led to…

Are there sequels?

There's one coming out soon, titled "They Follow". Horror movies get sequels relatively easily - they tend to be cheap to make and while they generally don't do gangbusters at the box office they usually do okay - but I have to admit I didn't think one was coming for this.

Final Destination

One or more characters fighting against destiny

The premise on this one is pretty famous, and while this isn't the first story ever to use it by a long shot it's probably the most well known: After seeing a vision of the future where he and a bunch of other people die, the main character takes action to prevent it. Only, it turns out that death doesn't like to be cheated, and the survivors start dying in mysterious and bizarre circumstances…

Do you recommend it?

This entirely comes down to one thing: Does the idea of repeated scenes of people either dying or nearly dying in tremendously Rube Goldberg-esque fashions appeal to you? If so, then absolutely yes, even though the acting is overall VERY late 90s teen drama.

Are there sequels?

Yes, four of them, and most of them are pretty good in the category of fun deathtraps. The second one's 'mass death vision' scene, in particular, is a traffic accident scene that genuinely probably causes multiple millions of people to avoid following behind log trucks. Avoid the 3-d one, but the last one and the first three are all fun if it's your thing.

Reanimator

Characters attempting to bring back a dead friend

Extremely loosely based off an HP Lovecraft story, but don't let that stop you from watching this science gone wrong film about a researcher attempting to bring the dead back to life. Honestly, just that is enough that you know a lot of where this is going, but do exercise caution - it's VERY 80s and also VERY gorey. Also, and the fact that I'm giving this warning in this article when I haven't on several other films means you should take it seriously, if you're sex repulsed stay far, far away from this one.

Do you recommend it?

Yes, assuming you can tolerate those warnings in the above paragraph. Barbara Crampton and Jeffrey Combs are great.

Are there sequels?

Yes, two of them. There was also apparently a Broadway adaptation in the early 2010s so those of you with tastes in that might be able to track down a cast recording or something?

Candyman

Characters fighting against someone seeking revenge for the sins of their ancestors

One of the few decent 90s pre-Scream horror movies, this one features a researcher in urban myths going into a housing project in Chicago and seeking information on the titular Candyman. She finds him.

Do you recommend it?

Yes; it's a very good movie, though there's a pretty heavy social message aspect (both racism and feminism are major points within the film) to it that is at times ham-fisted. It means well, but I'll leave it to the viewer to judge on that front the quality.

Are there sequels?

Yes, and they're dogshit slashers that lose everything good about the original except for Tony Todd playing the villain. There's also a more recent reboot, but I have not seen that one.

Ready or Not

Characters playing a childhood game.

A comedic horror movie, this one features a game of hide or seek and some of the world's worst in-laws. There's some GREAT props and stuff if you're into board games at all, and honestly you're on a dimension 20 promptlist so there's a decent chance you are.

Do you recommend it?

Strongly so, yes. The ending is particularly memorable.

Are there sequels?

No, and there better NOT be any either.

Sinister

Discovering records of past tragedies, such as a journal, photograph, or film.

A fine member of the long tradition of horror movies where the secret villain is the protagonist (see also the Shining, though it's even less of a secret there), this is a haunted house movie with a nasty twist. Very much in the jump scare vein of movies so if you're not into that, maybe give this one a past, though unlike its near-contemporary in the jumpscare heavy front of the Conjuring movies this one's got the FULL courage of its convictions to actually follow through on some of them - this is a nasty, bloody movie.

Do you recommend it?

If you're okay with a nasty, bloody movie then yes. I'm not exactly sure what sent Ethan Hawke on the road to where he's ended up in a bunch of movies like this, but he's good as the aforementioned protagonist.

Are there sequels?

There's one, which is weirdly easier to find on streaming than the original. It's not very good, but I've seen worse.

Tucker and Dale VS Evil

The kindness of strangers in the face of the unkindness of those once thought friends

Another horror comedy, this one turns one of my absolute least favorite tropes of hillbilly murderers on its head, and is purely a (bloody) comedy of errors for the vast majority of the runtime.

Do you recommend it?

Yes.

Are there sequels?

No; filming conditions on set were apparently bad enough that there's basically no possibility anyone would come back for it, and the movie wasn't a huge financial success even though it's become something of a cult classic.

Midsommar

A relationship continuing past when it should have ended; the failure of inaction.

An extended exercise in misery dressed up in spring tones, this is the only movie on this list I remember actually getting specifically called out during a D20 episode - Aabria talks about going full Midsommar at the start of ACoFaF, which it is something of the look if not AT ALL the tone. This one's a cult movie. Not, like, a cult classic - it's literally a movie about a cult.

Do you recommend it?

It's a great movie, but it's also HEAVY. If you're in the mood for that then absolutely go for it, if you're not then maybe wait for more cheerful days.

Are there sequels?

No, and I can't imagine anyone involved making a followup.

The Lighthouse

A character assuming another's identity.

There are people who would try to make the case that this is actually not a horror movie and I think that's fair. This is the same director as The Witch, and it's a very specific style for this movie up to and including it being in black and white and the accents that the two actors (the ONLY two actors) choose to take on. If you're into Greek mythology, see when you figure out which myth this is a reference to as a fun little minigame.

Do you recommend it?

I… kind of? If you think you'd be into a period piece with two actors in black and white that also features a shockingly high amount of talk about various biological functions, go for it.

Are there sequels?

Good god, no.

Hereditary

A character's bloodline being cursed in a mysterious way.

This one was a big hit a few years ago, and is half horror movie, half family tragi-drama, and all miserable. It's not the scariest movie on this list by any means, but it is in rare company on my personal list of things I recommend watching once and then never again. (Total Forgiveness is actually also on this list.)

Do you recommend it?

Yes, unless you have already seen it, in which case no.

Are there sequels?

Midsommar is the same director and in spite of an almost opposite aesthetic inherits much of the ethos of misery, but no, not really.

Phantasm

Dealing with a character's corpse, either to reanimate it or bury it.

One of the WEIRDER entries on this list, Phantasm is a late 70s film featuring a truly great villain known only as the Tall Man, who steals corpses and reanimates them as slave zombies back in his home dimension and honestly it just gets a little odder from there. His main opposition is a like ten year old kid.

Do you recommend it?

I can't say I DON'T recommend it but I probably wouldn't put it high on the list of things I would recommend to people partly because unless they're deep into weird movies themselves they're going to look at me like I'm crazy after they watch this on my recommendation.

Are there sequels?

Yes, and they form an allegedly continuous story and feature mostly the same actors - that original movie was an indie production in the freaking 70s and cost less than many houses to make, returning something like a hundred and fifty times its budget. The first sequel is probably the best movie in the series; the later ones kind of lost what plot there was.

The Ring

Impending death, to one's self or another.

A mysterious tape leads to death seven days after you watch it - this is probably one of the best-known and most-parodied movies on this list, to the point where I'd be a little surprised if even the younger audience hadn't at least HEARD of it even though it's somewhat older now.

Do you recommend it?

Yes, either this version or the Japanese version (which is the original; this is one of a string of American remakes of Japanese horror movies from around this time, and definitely the best of them.)

Are there sequels?

There are sprawling franchises in BOTH the US and Japan around this, with substantial differences in the lore and varying degrees of sucking. Personally, I'd just stick to the original two movies, but all the rest of it has fans certainly.

Child's Play

A character's favorite childhood toys.

A serial killer gets shot down by a cop and possesses a doll, but wants to steal a real body back. In contrast to what the sequels eventually became, the original is much less comedic, with a lot of practical effects around the doll - who in spite of being a serial killer has to play it smart because he's a doll, at least in this one. Chucky gets a lot of his superhuman abilities later on in the series; in the original it's mostly a deception play.

Do you recommend it?

Yes, the first two movies in particular here are quite good.

Are there sequels?

Buckle up, because this one's a long runner - this series has a continuous timeline spanning like eight movies and three seasons of television, with more still forthcoming. There's also a reboot that basically is in name only and also is bad.

Dracula

Vampires! Either all characters are vampires or one is turned into one.

I mean, it's Dracula. Do you seriously need me to explain to you on tumblr.com what Dracula is?

Do you recommend it?

It here being the original Bela Legusi Universal movie? Sure, as long as you know that's what it is - this thing's damn near a hundred years old at this point.

Are there sequels?

Yes, and a million different versions of this story.

Nightmare on Elm Street

A work focused on a character's dreams.

A school janitor who may or may not have been committing sexual assault on children - it's implied in the original that he wasn't and it was a witch hunt from the parents in the style of the satanic panic of the time; in the remake he absolutely was - has regardless become a demon who haunts the children of the parents who killed him and murders them in their dreams. One of the great 80s slasher franchises.

Do you recommend it?

Yes; it's the best of the 80s slasher franchises, at least in the first movie or two before Freddie descends into full clownhood.

Are there sequels?

Yeah, a whole bunch of varying quality, including a deeply weird one in New Nightmare which is effectively RPF of the first movie except instead of Real Person Fanfiction it's just Real Person Fiction.

It

A work focused on the character's greatest fears.

Yet another Stephen King story, this one features a creature from beyond space and time who comes up every so often to murder the shit out of people and especially kids while taking the form of their worst fear to do it. Tim Curry plays the clown in the miniseries in one of his most well known roles, and again this was a MADE FOR TV MINISERIES that broadcast on network television and is one of TIM CURRY'S best known roles. He's by far the best part of it.

Do you recommend it?

Yes, I recommend it. And It.

Are there sequels?

I suppose we can mention the much more recent theatrical movies, which split the childhood and adulthood portions more firmly into two films and also made literally over a billion dollars between the two of them. I've never seen them, though. There's only room for Tim Curry to clown around in my heart.

Jaws A beach episode! Beach-inspired fic or pic.

THE shark movie of all time, and also the movie that singlehandedly created the concept of a summer blockbuster movie, and ALSO the movie that kicked off Steven Spielberg's career and in spite of all of those things it's also genuinely incredibly good.

Do you recommend it?

If you somehow haven't seen this you should watch it the next time you have two hours to kill; this is a genuine classic work of art in popular filmmaking and also you'll suddenly understand a thousand cultural references you've been missing.

Are there sequels?

Yes, three of them, and they're increasing levels of bad. The second one rehashes the first but does a shittier job; the third one is IN THREE-D and that was the only reason they made it, and the fourth one features a telepathic shark that stalks the family of the sheriff from the first movie to the Bahamas out of wanting revenge for the murder of that shark but is both worse and more boring than this description makes it sound.

The Fly

A character going through an unwanted physical change.

Did you know Jeff Goldblum was hot once upon a time, and also like, genuinely ripped? This movie absolutely shows that off and then desperately makes you wish it hadn't. Another classic, though not really for the weak of stomach - a lot of real body horror in this one, so buckle in if you're going to give it a watch. I miss practical effects.

Do you recommend it?

Yes, though if you're on an older movie kick and haven't seen a lot of these the other older movies on this list are mostly better. Unless you're genuinely curious to see Jeff Goldblum as a sex symbol, in which case hey, go nuts. Also fun fact - this movie was still in a few budget theaters on the day I was born, though it was far behind the #1 movie in America, Crocodile Dundee. I'm mostly bringing that up because it invariably makes the Australians in my life flinch.

Are there sequels?

There's one, which I've never seen and which certainly doesn't involve either David Cronenberg or Jeff Goldblum. It is by most accounts quite bad. Also, technically, this one's a remake to begin with and there's a 50's version but I'm not counting that one - the difference between a movie from 1955 and one from 1980, even though they were only 25 years apart, are VASTLY greater than the differences between a movie from 1980 and today even though that's almost 45 years.

A Bay of Blood

A comedy of errors, with deadly or painful results.

Another foreign film, and kind of a proto-slasher, this one involves a real estate deal gone bad, family feuds, accidents, a whole lot of deaths, and some gratuitous nudity. It's basically like Friday the 13th in some ways except actually fun, assuming you're into that kind of thing. Definitely cheesy though.

Do you recommend it?

Eeeeeeeeeeh. If you're into schlock and cheese and people getting murdered in the middle of sex (not, generally, by the person they're involved with) then you could do a lot worse.

Are there sequels?

Not direct ones.

[nuclearpasta]

WWW.TENEARTHSHATTERINGBLOWS.COM

He apparently changes titles faster than his underwear.

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[fatale-distraction]

Canon World State

Decided to compile my main world state for Dragon Age in anticipation of The Veilguard.

This world state is mostly compatible with comics/novels, with the exception of Alistair. I figure events are basically the same, except instead of king, he’s just a Grey Warden. *BIG SHRUG*

Massive post under cut. Feel free to steal this format, I literally just listed all the choices in The Keep and added a few extra things.

EDIT: Added some major companion choices for Inquisition, still missing Blackwall’s resolution. Will update that later.

Edit: Added screenshot of Hawke, some Judgement results from Inquisition; still working on this one.

Halina (Hal) Mahariel

Dalish archer, Ranger spec, she/her, b. 9:09

Status as of 9:54 - Presumed alive, age 45

Recruited All Companions minus Logain

Killed Logain

Returned Sten’s Sword

Zevran alive & well

Wynne alive & well

Leliana alive & well

Dark Ritual completed with Alistair

Killed Flemmeth & acquired grimoire

Prologue -

Fed deserter

Cured Mabari (recruited)

Broken Circle -

Supported Mages

Irving Survived

Did not agree to Cullen’s request

Nature of the Beast -

Brokered Peace

Brought Camden & Gheyna together

Saved the Halla

Returned Deygan to camp

Brought Ironbark to Varathorn

Told Athras about his wife

The Arl of Redcliffe-

Helped Redcliffe Fight

Helped Redcliffe Prepare

Freed Bevin & Paid for sword

Helped Owen’s Daughter Escape

Bella owns tavern

Connor Alive, not possessed

Isolde is alive

Paragon of Her Kind-

Killed Branka and Destroyed Anvil

Dagna left to study

Bhelen rules Orzamar

Said Ruck died, but spared him

Didn’t help Burkel

Helped Zerlinda reconcile with family

Proved Legion of Dead connected to noble house

Completed Rogek’s lyrium deal

Helped Orta join Assembly

Denerim-

Ser Landry alive

Told Bann Sighard about Oswyn

Brought scroll to Sister Justine

Helped clear customers out of the Pearl

Handled the Crimson Oars

Completed Slim Couldry’s crime wave

Gave Alfstanna Irminric’s ring

Returned amulet to beggar

Completed Master Ignacio’s assassinations

Sent Marjolaine away (softened Leliana)

Helped Alistair find Goldana (softened Alistair)

The Landsmeet-

Anora rules Ferelden

The Battle of Denerim-

Halina killed the Archdemon

Awakening-

Allowed Architect to live

Nathaniel alive & well

Oghren & Felsi reunited

Keep & Amaranthine protected

Witch Hunt-

Halina did not go through the eluvian

Warden’s Keep-

Didn’t drink concoction

Slayed Avernus

Stone Prisoner-

Shale is alive and well

Matthias & Amalia both alive, neither possessed

Above: Ashe Hawke and Halina Mahariel

Ashe Hawke

Mage, Primal & Elemental Spec, she/they, b. 9:11

Status as of 9:54 - Presumed dead, would have been 43

Recruited all companions; friends with all but Sebastian

Humorous

Slept with Isabela & Fenris

Flirted with Aveline at every chance

Romanced Anders

Friends with Varric

Bethany died leaving Lothering

Carver became a templar

Carver did not die in final battle

Bartrand not killed

Helped Varric discover cause of haunting

Varric did not keep red lyrium idol

Isabela returned the tome to the Qunari

Didn’t give Isabela to Arishok

Fenris alive & well

Spared Fenris’ sister

Helped Merrill fix Eluvian

Gave Merrill Arulin’Holm

Merrill alive & well

Sent Feynriel to the Dalish

Encouraged Feynriel to train his powers

Supported Mages

Approved of Anders’ actions at Chantry

Anders alive & well

Aveline married Donnic

Aveline stayed with Hawke

Merrill’s clan was not killed

Sebastian became Prince

Didn’t make Tallis angry

Kissed Tallis

Ellanasha (Ellana, El) Lavellan

Dalish archer, Tempest Spec, she/her, b. 9:17

Status as of 9:54 - Alive and mostly okay, age 37

Emotional

Recruited all companions; friends with all

Romanced: Solas

Cole - Spirit*

Vivienne - Gave her the Snow Wyvern heart

Josie - Resolved contract peacefully

Solas - stopped him from killing the mages

Varric & Cassandra - reconciled

Dorian - encouraged him to reconcile with his father

The Iron Bull - Saved The Chargers

Sera - pulled pranks with Sera

Cullen - Helped him quit lyrium

Flirted with Cassandra at every chance

Judgement:

- Alexius works for Inquisition mages

- Mayor of Crestwood conscripted to Grey Wardens

- Armed Avvar and sent to Tevinter

- Recruited Bear

Allied as partners with Mages

Left Hawke in the Fade**

Conscripted Grey Wardens

Celene reconciled with Briala***

Destroyed Samson’s armor

Drank from the Well of Sorrows****

Supports Leliana (softened) as Divine Victoria

Disbands the Inquisition in a fit

Vows to convince Solas of this world’s value

*Later wonders if this was the right call, in spite of assurances by Cole that he is happy

**Constantly struggles with this decision. Alistair is technically her family (second cousin once removed by marriage), so there’s no other choice she would ever have made, but it still kills her.

***Ellana regrets this when she learns more about their past, expresses that she would have put Briala in power with Gaspard as a puppet ruler instead.

****Names the dragon Butterpat

Prior to DA:O

NOT CANON TO GAMES:

In an unknown year, Felassan is awakened after an indeterminate amount of time by the Fade spirit of Fen’Harel in order to prepare him for reawakening. His primary duty is to track down magical artifacts to help Fen’Harel regain his power and to discover what changes have occurred.

Above: Althera and Miriam Lavellan

In 9:10 Felassan meets Althera, Keeper of Clan Lavellan at the Arlathven. She introduces him to her wife, Miriam and they invite him to travel with Clan Lavellan to learn how they’ve kept a clan full of mages safe for the last several generations. In 9:13, Evelyn is born to Felassan and Althera. In 9:17 Ellana is born to Felassan and Miriam. Fen’harel has become suspicious of Felassan over the last seven years, and although Althera has been using her significant power to protect him, Fel knows he must return eventually. He uses Ellana in an ancient ritual to wipe the Lavellan clan from Fen’Harel’s memory in an effort to protect them, resulting in the loss of her magic. Ellana is the only non-mage in Clan Lavellan in four generations.

In 9:18, Felassan leaves Clan Lavellan. Ellana’s memories of him are limited to a smell, a voice, and a smile. Evelyn remembers and hates him for leaving.

Ellana meets her 2nd cousin once removed, Halina Mahariel and idolizes her. Mahariel is Miriam’s 1st cousin’s daughter.

In 9:24, Althera (40, F) and Miriam Lavellan (35, F) are presumably killed defending their clan from Tevinter slavers. Miriam has just given birth to twins. They leave behind their children Levas, Susan, twins Pallas and Peras, Litha, Seryl, Lethas, Evelyn, Ellana, and twins Aneth and Athim.^ Deshanna Istimaethorial becomes Keeper.

In 9:29, Ellana (age 12) falls extremely ill. Her sister (18) Evelyn travels alone to find a rare herb to cure her sister and is cornered by Darkspawn. She is captured by templars and brought to Kinloch after using magic to defend herself, where she spends several months. An older brother and sister come to rescue her and Cullen helps her escape with her phylactery while the remaining siblings stabilize Ellana. Ellana’s growth is stunted from the months she spent being ill.

After Ellana is captured by the fledgling Inquisition in 9:41, Evelyn, as the First of Clan Lavellan, deposes Deshanna Istimaethorial as Keeper. Once she determines that Ellana is safe, she leads clan Lavellan to Haven. Clan Lavellan stays with the Inquisition until the defeat of Corypheus, at which point they move on and settle near Wycome to form a permanent Dalish township called Lavellanlea. The town becomes a haven for elven slaves fleeing Tevinter, and for elves from alienages all over Thedas who oppose the Agents of Fen’Harel but seek to better the lot of their race.

Above: Evelyn and Ellana, post Inquisition, prior to Trespasser

In 9:44, Cullen proposes to Evelyn and she accepts. They are married in 9:46.

^Lavellan Siblings listed in order of age.

Althera’s biological children:

Lethas (he/him)*

Litha (she/they)**

Logan (he/him)

Evelyn (she/her)***

Miriam’s biological children:

Susan (she/her)*

Pallas (he/him) and Peras (he/him)*

Seryl (they/them)**

Ellana***

* shared father 1

** shared father 2

*** Felassan

There are MANY Lavellan niblings, but the most important are Susan’s twins:

Aneth (she/her) and Athim (they/them)

[hyperpotamianarch]

Well, I'm reading the Secret Commonwealth, I have some thoughts, and am unlikely to get to talk to anyone who has read it in the near future, so I'm going to dump my thoughts here! We'll see where it goes.

I'm currently at the middle of chapter 6. To start with, this book is very clear that our current focus is on special roses that come from the Levant. By which I mean, for the duration of the second chapter (I think?) literally everything ties back into those roses. I suppose the Gobblers had a similar role in Northern Lights/the Golden Compass? I don't know.

The book also seems to start to play out as a mystery/detective story, but I guess I'll have to wait and see where that leads.

More tidbits I might want to make include... well... people who've followed my HDM related posts know I'm trying to work on Judaism in Lyra's world. I already knew this book has to do with the Ottoman Empire, so I suppose it could showcase some things about Islam in this world. This would be a step towards seeing how strong is the Magisterium worldwide. There seem to be implications they burned rose gardens because of a connection discovered between those roses and Dust, so it's clear their long arm can reach into the Ottoman Empire. That is interesting, as I'd expect the Ottomans to be against outside influence in their land. Coverup stories or no, something is suspicious and the Ottomans probably also have income from the export of roses. I mean, if those roses can only grow in lands under their control... I would expect them to protect their interests better. If they can't... That has bad implications all around.

Also, Miriam is a Jewish name which appears at the beginning. I don't know how common it is among non Jews, I kind of assumed Maria was the more popular version, so it makes me just a tiny bit interested in that character - though with the way colleges work in Lyra's world, I'm not sure she could practice any religion that isn't Christianity.

Also on the front of Judaism in Lyra's world but a lot more distant, this world probably doesn't have a Sigmund Freud. The connection is that Freud was Jewish (though relatively assimilationist). The reason I think he didn't exist here is that therapy seems to not exist here, and I believe Freud's field of Psychoanalysis is what led to that existing? Also, if Freud existed I highly doubt this "The Hyperchorasmians" book would've survived without any Freudian interpretations of things. I might be extrapolating too much on that field, let's give this book a separate paragraph.

To be clear, I'm team Pan regarding this book, though my reasoning might defer from his. "It was nothing more than what it was" is a completely rubbish statement on events in a fictional novel. Everything can go through literary analysis and be found to have metaphors. I find it odd that I'm saying that because I'm not too fond of literary analysis, but saying there is no symbolism in your book is... a rather odd statement. But in universe, Pan's complaints about the different books can easily seem as him being a crybaby over people who deny the existence of dæmons. It does seem as if this book is going to explore what dæmons are more deeply, or so I'm assuming.

I do have a half-hearted theory regarding what the Hyperchorasmians was intended to represent. Thing is, I've seen HDM described as a book about teenagers killing God, and it's supposedly written as an antithesis to Narnia while being just as preachy in a different direction. Equivalents could be drawn. Obviously, the core problem Pan has with this book is something HDM can't really be blamed for... I'm having some trouble articulating my point exactly, we'll see how things go either way.

The desert - Karamakan - is interesting. It's portrayed as similar to the Land of the Dead or the place in the north the witches use for their practice of separation, but Dr. Strauss's dæmon managed to get there - and it seems that the only way to get into the building is with one's dæmon? So I don't know what's going on. This is another thing to be seen.

Also, Malcolm from La Belle Sauvage is a scholar now. I don't really remember much from this book, and I'm not sure what's going to be relevant? Bonneville is dead, I think, and likely irrelevant. There's the odd faerie woman from the flood, which... I don't know what she has to do with anything. I'm not sure what anything has to do with anything from this book. Again, I suppose we'll see.

That would be it for now.

[fallingtowers]

top 5 lesbians you've created?

GREAT question

5. avandera bell, a character i wrote a couple short stories about who i keep meaning to get back to. she's an aging pulp swashbuckler who spends most of her time squabbling with her platonic life partner and having sword and sorcery misadventures

4. jack of hearts, my current d&d character. she's a foulmouthed guttersnipe wizard who loves to stab people to death. she beat the grim reaper at chess and then told them to fuck right off when they dared to question her aims. she has a heavy australian accent

3. astrid raadh, the main character of a novella i wrote. she's a witch hunter on a dying desert planet who dresses all in black denim and rides a giant lizard and kills witches with a bigass sword. AND she's transgender.

2. serakhar arat, a character from my novel. she's a cop but i love her so. if i ever manage to get the novel published i'm gonna follow it up with another one from serakhar's pov

1. arhaún ysza, my novel protagonist. she's a crime lord's former bodyguard on a quest for revenge. she spends most of the novel being the most abrasive person alive and getting her ass roundly kicked. AND she's transgender.

[four-loose-screws]

FE2 Novelization Translation - Chapter 5 Part 5

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———————————

Chapter 5 - To Mila's Shrine

Part 5 - Princess Anthiese 

"We cannot afford to wait any longer!” Atlas shouted. The sight of the sun high in the sky made him thirsty for revenge.

"We never should have put our hopes in him." Valbar growled and stared at Celica with judging eyes. It was the first time he had ever done so since they formed their army.

After the entire day had passed, they still hadn't seen a single sign of Jesse in the desert, much less Sonya's army.

The sisters even said that if no one else was going to make any moves, then they would go by themselves.

Leo agreed with both Valbar and Atlas. The three rushed to get ready to start marching. Saber sat down calmly on a rock, his eyes shut tight. He entrusted all decision making to Celica. Genny would be loyal to Celica until the very end, and stood by her. Boey could not settle down, and so he was pacing around the room, his cape trailing behind him.

If they waited, Jesse might come back with Sonya. But she feared that her allies might split into two groups before then.

Saber finally opened his eyes, fanned his black scarf out behind him, and stood up with one big, fluid movement.

Celica ordered everyone to move out.

-

The howling winds of the sandstorm sounded not unlike there was a wailing dragon writhing beneath the desert.

As they neared Grieth's Citadel, sand began to swirl around and became a full-fledged sandstorm, getting stuck in the hinges of their armor and helmets making them creak. When they tried to brush it away from their legs and feet, it would just as quickly pelt them all the way up to their shoulders. The falcons' wings also collected enough sand that they became too heavy to flap very well, but they still fared better than the rest of the army on the ground. Because of that, when Palla and Catria folded their wings atop the gates of Grieth's Citadel, everyone else was still far off in the distance, with only Valbar's giant body visible within the sandstorm, looking like a black speck.

But if it was this difficult for them to come closer to the citadel, then it would be just as hard for Grieth's army to deploy from within the citadel. Or so they thought. When they reached a point where they could no longer take a single step forward due to the sandstorm's assault, they realized that a group of witches was attacking them. Celica was honestly impressed by just how tough Grieth was. Saber, as a unit who had transcended to Dread Fighter and was now strong against magic attacks, had of course predicted this outcome. Despite how powerful the witches were, they managed to defeat Grieth's entire vanguard and reunite with the sisters waiting at the citadel gate. But by that point, everyone was as exhausted and vulnerable as they could be.

Genny ran around nonstop healing everyone, and when they saw how unusually narrow the hallways were that Grieth's brigands appeared from, Celica stood as the vanguard as she always did, and her army was lured deeper into the citadel. That was all part of Grieth's plan. 

Celica's army could not move freely in the narrow hallway. Grieth took advantage of that by having Snipers assault them with crossbows from the embrasures above them, and Arcanists assault them with poison spells.

The powerful Valbar guarded Genny. The sword fighters Celica, Saber, and Atlas all fought the enemies in front of them, but unfortunately, as frustrating as it was, Leo's crossbow and Boey's Thunder spells did nothing but merely crack the rock walls the powerful enemies above them were hiding behind.

"Take that!" Valbar shouted, having lost his patience. He knew from the current onslaught of attacks that a Sniper and an Arcanist were hiding above him, and that making a break for it through the hallway would result in many sacrifices. But until they defeated those ranged attackers above them, the ever reliable sisters from Archanea could not fly at all within the hallway, making it impossible for them to make any progress.

“If you aren't going to show your faces, then I'm coming to you!" Acting on an impulse was utterly unlike a tactician like Valbar, he ignored Celica's call to stop. As he started to climb up the steel spikes jutting out of the wall, the Sniper's arrows unsurprisingly bounced off his giant full-body armor. However, the Poison spell the Arcanist cast to support the Sniper was eating away at his energy.

He endured his energy being sapped and managed to make it up to the embrasure, but his helmet was wide open due to his heavy breathing. The Sniper switched to a smaller crossbow and stuck his head out to deliver the finishing blow to Valbar's exposed neck.

It was too late for anyone to do anything. Celica's army all prepared themselves for Valbar's death and closed their eyes, when something happened that could only be described as a miracle. In an ironic twist of fate, it was Valbar who watched the Sniper's grinning head go flying through the air, spurting blood in every direction.

"You all just do as you please, don't you?!"

Someone came rushing in from behind them - it was none other than Jesse. And next to him was a mage who could only be Sonya, chanting the final words of an Excalibur spell. Her crimson-colored lipstick was proof that she was an independent, worldly Mage, not one who served any church or priory.

“Why didn’t you wait at the stronghold?” Jesse said with a loud laugh as Valbar expended the last of his strength and his huge body fell to the floor with a thunderous clang.

"Miss Genny, don’t bother healing this tin can! Now let's go, everyone!” Jesse shouted, not one to sweat the small stuff like Valbar's distaste of him.

Their chance at victory had finally returned.

For a moment, they thought Sonya had suddenly disappeared, but she was actually far over their heads, instantly casting an Excalibur spell that defeated the Archanist.

Down below, everyone else left behind Genny and Valbar to run deeper into the citadel.

When the army rushed into Grieth's throne room, they found him alone without any reinforcements. However, he was forcefully using his hostages as a shield. In his right arm he was holding Est, and in his left, he was holding a woman in the uniform of a noblewoman’s attendant, very likely the priest's wife.

Though he was a Dread Fighter, because he was so arrogant from living in power, his large body could not wield his sword properly. The sisters glided down from the ceiling and cut the tendons in his arms, Palla on the right, and Catria on the left.

The hostages escaped, and Grieth shouted his final curses.

Atlas was the next to rush up before the disgraced brigand king.

He had waited for this moment - the moment he could land a single blow on Grieth, the man who had slaughtered his entire family. Hopefully, it would be a fatal one. He ripped open the bag on his back and pulled out a sword.

There was no mistaking it. It was the Shadow Sword. The very sword from hell that took its wielder's body in exchange for the power to kill their enemies in a single blow. The very Shadow Sword that caused Blake to die consumed by madness.

A chill ran down Saber's spine. Celica gasped, Boey and Leo froze, and the sisters' falcons put their horns together, utterly terrified. Even Valbar, who was now fully healed and entering the throne room with the loud clanking of his combat boots, was already looking wide eyed at the sight before him.

"Why do you have that?!” Jesse shouted. 

Because they were all so accustomed to battle and its horrors by now, everyone else was frozen in place, overcome by the vivid premonition of the tragedy that was about to befall Atlas.

Only Jesse was able to tackle him and take the demonic sword away from him.

No matter how arrogant Grieth was, he would not waste this opening. Jesse knew how terrifying it was to be attacked by a Dread Fighter's sword, but he could not let the tragedy of the Shadow Sword be repeated ever again in the hands of another.

In the scuffle, the Shadow Sword flew through the air, and sliced Jesse's forehead.

When Saber saw Jesse's blood splatter, he immediately regained his senses.

Valbar saw everything, watching Jesse lunge at Atlas out of worry for his sanity. It was an act that made him realize for the first time that Jesse truly was their ally, and he rushed to help him. 

If this fight dragged on any further, it would only guarantee Jesse's death. Saber lept up into the air and put all of his strength into bringing his Brave Sword down upon Grieth's head, bringing the battle to its end.

"You didn’t do so bad with your right shoulder this time!" Jesse mustered all of his strength to say. After confirming that Saber smiled in response to his joke, first his knees hit the stone floor, then his chin.

"Jesse!" Est cried, deeply worried, and started to run over to him.

However, someone else made it to him first, making her freeze, and her scream get caught in her throat.

It was Sonya. She picked him up into her arms, and he did not hesitate to lean his face into her chest.

“I didn't even get attacked by anybody! What's up with that?" Jesse said. 

Tired of his nonsense, Sonya lightly punched his cheek.

"Hey, Est." He said, finally realizing that Est was next to him. "Your big sisters are here. You can hurry home now.”

However short their time together had been, Est truly believed they had confessed their love for each other. Large, wet tears slowly formed in her eyes, until she finally started bawling loudly. Her utter innocence and lack of shame signaled that their battle within the citadel was over, and everyone laughed, finally at ease. Everyone but Palla and Catria, that is, who turned bright red and looked away from their sister's behavior.

-

The reason Celica came to Grieth's Citidel was not to conquer it for herself, nor because of the priest's threat, nor to save his wife. It wasn't even to fulfill her promise to the sisters to save Est. Everyone else learned that fact when the priest's wife, a noblewoman’s attendant, came out from the shadows she ran away to hide in, and approached Celica.

She looked straight at Celica's face for a long moment, then said, "Lady Liprica…"

Valbar and Saber both knew that name. She was one of the wives of the late King Lima IV.

"No, I am not Liprica." Celica said, and looked kindly at the attendant. "Liprica was my mother's name. She passed away a long time ago.”

The attendant immediately started sobbing. “Then… Then…” She repeated the same words over and over again, unable to get the next ones out.

Finally, they burst forth from within her. "Then you are Princess Anthiese!"

-

The attendant had once served the Zofian royal family. She kept the gold circlet that proved the princess’ legitimately safe for over ten long years, and was now finally able to return it to its rightful place, Celica's - Princess Anthiese’s - head. The moment she placed it where it belonged, it glittered beautifully. 

She then continued to cry over her husband’s immoral and embarrassing actions. Celica comforted her softly, and forgave him.

Jesse whistled, not holding back because she was a princess, in fact trying all the harder now that he knew she was a princess.

As the man with the right to the Desert Kingdom's throne, he did actually have the social standing to woo her. Celica did not waste even a second, immediately requesting that he rule over the Desert Kingdom with Sonya and return peace to it. 

"When all of this is over, I will come back, and my strength will be yours." Saber said to Jesse, and extended his arm.

Jesse accepted the gesture and gave him a firm handshake.

With that conversation over, Jesse wasted no time in requesting Atlas to return to his village and immediately organize a defense army. His village would become a critical location connecting the Desert Kingdom to central Zofia. Atlas, with Jesse's warning of the Shadow Sword etched into his heart, vowed to become one of his right-hand men.

Valbar, Saber, Leo, Genny, and Boey all felt their hearts leap for joy at the good fortune of the general they served being none other than Crown Princess Anthiese. And not only because of their happiness over Celica rescuing Est, but also because they now knew she was a princess, the Archanean sisters acted in proper code that all units should follow, and swore to serve Celica until this conflict was over. 

And so, Mila's Restoration Army set out on a new journey. As Celica looked at each of her friends that she had fought so long and hard with, she thought, '... Mila's physical manifestation may have already been lost from the shrine. Of that, I am eighty percent certain. However, there must be a way to restore her to her rightful place. Until that happens, I cannot return to Zofia Castle, no matter how beautiful the circlet glitters on my forehead. But the moment we do restore her… Alm and I will be able to continue creating memories together, at Zofia Castle this time.'

It was the first time ever in her life that she ever had a dream not as a Priestess, but as a woman.

[jaesrri]

So idk if anyone cares much, but I just gotta throw this out there-

DND Tumblr, send us some luck. I beg of you.

We open session tomorrow with initiative rolls and the facts are these:

We are level 8

Our playgroup is insane-we have a fully homebrew world, run Valda's Spire of Secrets from Mage Hand Press alongside most official 5e content and any other shiny bits that suit us

No really we're nuts. We have 1.6 conlangs (one full, a dialect thereof, and a few extra phrases) This campaign has already spawned a prequel novel, two prequel one-shots, thousands of words of prequel and concurrent text roleplay, an in-universe romance novella, and at least the threat of a prequel detective fiction-of-some-length. Plus assorted art, and an intro and an outro vid, and many, many playlists

The party consists of:

a 13 year old half drow necromancer who isn't exactly an orphan. Raised by the third of her mom's poly triad (terrorist cell leader, jealous AF, sus). Recently chosen as high priestess of Drow goddess of Death we.... May have released/awakened.

A playboy human guardsman (short king, twink, disaster bi) witch/fighter with two souls and royal blood. Also a very good loving mom and stepdad and lotsa excellent (vulnerable) siblings. Recently discovered blood dad and niece rather more questionable

A big (very strong, bit fat, busty) human Magani (oppressed desert culture- the conlang is theirs) fighter/cleric (battle master/twilight) and reluctant Prophet. Her boyfriend (secretly husband (secret wedding 4 in-game days ago)) is Magani by blood but not culture and also a state official (now rogue but not yet officially caught) ((Me!!!))

A Magani amethyst dragonborn aberrant mind sorcerer with a taste for gossip and a successful shop (girlfriend is half-orc craftsman smith- super sweet n talented, shit at finances). Incapable of minding her own buisness

Fairy mad bomber alchemist with a history as an expert fireworks maker and family back home in another country. Here investigating/troubleshooting fuckery in the Dreaming (existential threat to our world). In over their head (we all are)

Human warmage rebel/spy with serious history and beef with the imperial establishment. Recently reunited after 10 years with her sister. Things are rather tense, since said sister is now a warlock of a powerful member of the government (not quite as bad as it sounds, but very awkward)

We have 2 allied NPCs for this encounter, our fighter/cleric's boyfriend (husband), an eloquence bard (9th, poss 10th lvl), and one of the two high government officials that's been trying to make nice with us (sus, but we're pretty desperate) (sister's patron) who is a 20th level Wizard

Our opposition:

one equivalent government official who is absolutely opposed to everything we care about, is genocidal (Magani are probably next), and may infact be some sort of planar horror stuck here for reasons not yet understood. Also a slimy bastard.

And his pet horror who is strongly theorized to be our necromancer's dad, transformed and magically leashed. TBD if there's any of him left

Also of interest

None of us are full up on spells, including our npcs

Being caught doing magic by anyone but our friendly govt guy would be bad

I, (fighter/cleric) gave our witch/fighter my steel sword to hold onto, for I am in possession of the hilt of my ancestor's Thoughtblade which was broken in his last stand. I have learned that in order to reforge I I must simply (not easy) believe. So if I don't believe sufficiently I have no weapon

My steel sword is the only weapon our witch/fighter has, having given his rapier to his younger brother on parting and accidentally left his whip hanging in the coat-closet of the burlesque club we just left.

Our warmage is low-key actively plotting to throw the govt wizard NPC to the creature

Once again, the creature might be our teen necromancer's long lost dad

We have no idea what the super villain govt guy is packing. Wizard? Sorcerer? Horrible abomination? We just don't know

Things we (meta) know

The Dm has said the creature's statblock is unfair

That we should remember running away is an option

That the 20th lvl Wizard would find this challenging

There are five battle maps prepared "In case you do the smart thing and run"

"If you guys play this smart, you may all live to escape. If you guys are very smart, you may even defeat it. If you guys run in like a bunch of idiots, you *are* going to lose PCs. Maybe even permadeath, or very hard to cure death at least."

My character's whole deal is protecting people

We are *not* smart

Several of us are very adverse to allowing collateral damage. Others don't care much

This is a big city. Most of us don't know it well.

We should remember running away is an option

Thank you and I'll update on the fallout after. Hopefully without a blank character sheet in hand.