#Day’s failed surgery
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maybe-boys-do-love · 1 month ago
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lowkey obsessed with Aof Noppharnach’s consistent but subtle shade at Christmas. The Grinch of Thai BL.
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jabberwockypie · 3 months ago
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I lived, bitches.
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varjopeura · 5 months ago
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iliveinprocrasti-nationn · 8 months ago
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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
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llycaons · 16 days ago
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I wrote a long post abt how hysteria over cheating with AI is borderline irrelevant to my field and how that post implying it's a huge epidemic annoys me and then deleted it bc nobody cares. lol
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chaoswillcalmusdown · 2 months ago
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operation "how much estrogen leeway do we have" has commenced and it's only been 2 days but i'm so frustrated my muscles are still acting like they've been through a marathon
#the past month has been trash and i've spent sooo many work days at home already this year#operation estrogen might fail which would leave us in an interesting place bc idk what the fuck he's gonna try next#except for a more radical surgery#which like. i'm down but endo seems to never get properly treated on surgery alone#though i guess mine might be if they surgically remove everything necessary to get rid of my periods#i'm just like#so frustrated by the way this takes time#and my endo is still like. comparatively not bad. and i've not struggled with it that long#relatively speaking#hiding from work helps a tad until i then have to return to work after an absence#i feel guilty about not being at work but i also just really want to have arms that don't feel like lead#i want to have energy for one after work activity once in a while#and like. my doctor is determined to get me there#they all keep telling me that it is important that i'm good and not just surviving#i'm just really tired#and i have to speak to the counselor tomorrow which#is good and mature but i truly don't fucking want to#i have fridays off to 'get more rest' but like#i do one thing on the weekend and it knocks me the fuck out#traitorous goddamn body#we shall see what the counselor says before i message my endo doctor agAIn but i don't think i'm any more capable of working full weeks#now than i was 4 weeks ago#i haven't worked a full week in the 6 weeks since school came back#rip to me#😔#some day my whiny text posts will be but a memory#i say as if i have any faith
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no-face-no-shame · 4 months ago
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I hate my fucking university so much it's unreal
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ereborne · 10 months ago
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Song of the Day: January 18
"Settle Down" by The 1975
#song of the day#maybe one of the days I've had the hardest time choosing a song#it might have been 'Royals' by Neon Jungle (Lorde cover) which I talked to Lily about earlier#(the other day when we spent all that time traveling that was almost 'Eight Legged Blues' by Vixy and Tony#I played it for my family in the car on hour three of our drive and it was a big big hit#but it did get very cleanly overtaken by the Diva's Lament after I spent so much time with it on the train)#the original Lorde version of Royals played on Lily's playlist on the first hour of that drive and I mentioned I had a good cover#real good harmonies and neat acoustics in the big room they recorded in#and then today I finally remembered to send the link to Lily so that might have been today's song#or today's song also could have been 'Ringleader' by The Madison Letter which I tried but failed to sing in the shower#(I definitely don't know all the words yet. I did get a good echo off my 'ring-ring-ring-ringleader / ringleader' though which was nice)#and it also could have been 'Salt and the Sea' by the Lumineers which was in my single-song-by-artist playlist accidentally#no artist listed on the track somehow. very strange especially since it is so clearly a Lumineers song. they got the sound you know#anyway Salt and the Sea has some killer lines. 'from the destruction / out of the flame / you need a villain? give me a name#I'll be your friend / in the daylight again / there we will be / like an old enemy / like the salt and the sea'#but instead today is 'Settle Down' which is unbelievably fun to sing just for the way some of the words are pronounced and delivered#hits my brain just right every time#I had to do surgery on some of my poor plants (I can never leave them for so long again) and it was awful but the playlist provides#truly a wealth of song options today
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flintstill · 1 year ago
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God I loved that in my neighborhood back where my lease is that the grass gets mowed at like 5pm or a bit later
Fuck ye outside my window I’m trying to go back to sleep
#dsps#dspd#dswpd#my mom just screamed at me for taking a sleeping pill to go back to bed#(which is unfortunately not uncommon. esp at my parents house where I can never get good sleep)#especially because my fucking body woke me up after 4 hours of sleep when I am trying to sleep as much as possible like 12+ hours#to fight off the fevers I’ve been intermittently having#and the yeast infection from hell and two different cold sores in 3 weeks despite#I literally paid for a hotel for two nights because I tried valiantly and failed to get any decent sleep at my parents house#even with melatonin and cbd and CBN and sleeping pills literally trying every *safe* combination#and then she accusingly asks me when I went to bed#like I’m not a fucking adult whose on fucking break. like I don’t have both adhd and fucking dsps#she just had joint surgery and I’m sorry I haven’t been able to help her as much#but I wasn’t even supposed to be here now?! I was supposed to fly back a week ago but had to cancel because I got sick#and have been running errands since#and also while sick#which has probably#made me fucking sicker?#like not yesterday but the two days before that I was running around doing errands with a fever. (covid negative)#I didn’t fucking ask to be sick or tomorrow be able to sleep in this house#and she fucking yelled at me that I have to go to bed at midnight#like bitch I don’t have to do anything#and thank you again for making me feel so profoundly misunderstood and unlistened to#and worthless because of my adhd and dsp#I really hope it was the pain from the surgery and her pain meds not having kicked in#because it was out of character#like I hate that this is one of the few times your hearing about her to build a picture about#as if anyone is reading these tags haha I am processing and venting#because she is usually wonderful and lovely#but she was a fucking bitch. she really hurt my feelings
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little-mouse-adventures · 1 year ago
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Having a fuckin Thursday, my dudes (gender neutral)
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jabberwockypie · 3 months ago
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Filled with perpetual despair that - while my mother traumatized me in multiple ways and left me with physical and emotional scars that I'll carry for the rest of my life - as parents go, like, she's not really even in the Top Ten Worst Parents I know of among people in my social circle?
She did at least recognize that children aren't just . . . potted plants you just have and then don't have to do anything with except yell at them if they make a mess. She understood that children have feelings and need to be taught how to deal with them and that you have to actually engage with your child about their interests and play with them and express that you love them in a way where they like, actually believe it.
Pro-tip: If you can't deal with the fact children make messes, are inconvenient, sometimes annoying, are not just an extension of you, and sometimes you have to say things like "Oh no, what are we going to do, Ariel? :-O" because you have been cast as the fish sidekick in an elaborate mermaid drama? Don't fucking have kids.
Because I will fucking find you and I will tell your kids that you were shit and that the things you did were not okay.
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hardtchill · 2 years ago
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Did Vlatko not ring Christen up to see how her journey was going before telling everyone she should be ready for selection in April?
Are you surprised?
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reasonsforhope · 3 months ago
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"The first modern attempt at transferring a uterus from one human to another occurred at the turn of the millennium. But surgeons had to remove the organ, which had become necrotic, 99 days later. The first successful transplant was performed in 2011 — but even then, the recipient wasn’t immediately able to get pregnant and deliver a baby. It took three more years for the first person in the world with a transplanted uterus to give birth. 
More than 70 such babies have been born globally in the decade since. “It’s a complete new world,” said Giuliano Testa, chief of abdominal transplant at Baylor University Medical Center.
Almost a third of those babies — 22 and counting — have been born in Dallas at Baylor. On Thursday, Testa and his team published a major cohort study in JAMA analyzing the results from the program’s first 20 patients. All women were of reproductive age and had no uterus (most having been born without one), but had at least one functioning ovary. Most of the uteri came from living donors, but two came from deceased donors.
Fourteen women had successful transplants, all of whom were able to have at least one baby.  
“That success rate is extraordinary, and I want that to get out there,” said Liza Johannesson, the medical director of uterus transplants at Baylor, who works with Testa and co-authored the study. “We want this to be an option for all women out there that need it.”
Six patients had transplant failures, all within two weeks of the procedure. Part of the problem may have been a learning curve: The study initially included only 10 patients, and five of the six with failed transplants were in that first group. These were “technical” failures, Testa said, involving aspects of the surgery such as how surgeons connected the organ’s blood vessels, what material was used for sutures, and selecting a uterus that would work well in a transplant. 
The team saw only one transplant fail in the second group of 10 people, the researchers said. All 20 transplants took place between September 2016 and August 2019.
Only one other cohort study has previously been published on uterus transplants, in 2022. A Swedish team, which included Johannesson before she moved to Baylor, performed seven successful transplants out of nine attempts. Six women, including the first transplant recipient to ever deliver a baby back in 2014, gave birth.
“It’s hard to extract data from that, because they were the first ones that did it,” Johannesson said. “This is the first time we can actually see the safety and efficacy of this procedure properly.”
So far, the signs are good: High success rates for transplants and live births, safe and healthy children so far, and early signs that immunosuppressants — typically given to transplant recipients so their bodies don’t reject the new organ — may not cause long-term harm, the researchers said. (The uterine transplants are removed after recipients no longer need them to deliver children.) And the Baylor team has figured out how to identify the right uterus for transfer: It should be from a donor who has had a baby before, is premenopausal, and, of course, who matches the blood type of the recipient, Testa said...
“They’ve really embraced the idea of practicing improvement as you go along, to understand how to make this safer or more effective. And that’s reflected in the results,” said Jessica Walter, an assistant professor of reproductive endocrinology and infertility at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine, who co-authored an editorial on the research in JAMA...
Walter was a skeptic herself when she first learned about uterine transplants. The procedure seemed invasive and complicated. But she did her fellowship training at Penn Medicine, home to one of just four programs in the U.S. doing uterine transplants. 
“The firsts — the first time the patient received a transplant, the first time she got her period after the transplant, the positive pregnancy test,” Walter said. “Immersing myself in the science, the patients, the practitioners, and researchers — it really changed my opinion that this is science, and this is an innovation like anything else.” ...
Many transgender women are hopeful that uterine transplants might someday be available for them, but it’s likely a far-off possibility. Scientists need to rewind and do animal studies on how a uterus might fare in a different “hormonal milieu” before doing any clinical trials of the procedure with trans people, Wagner said.
Among cisgender women, more long-term research is still needed on the donors, recipients, and the children they have, experts said.
“We want other centers to start up,” Johannesson said. “Our main goal is to publish all of our data, as much as we can.”"
-via Stat, August 16, 2024
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ramblingandpie · 11 months ago
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I made this a while ago but I feel like I can reuse it for this.
Someone passing out from fever or sickness, but in a fictional way where you can rush to pick them up and wrap them in a blanket on your couch, not where you call EMS and worry that they might have cracked their head on a sidewalk. Their eyes actually close, unlike in real life where people sometimes faint with their eyes partly or entirely open.
Someone being drugged, but in a fictional way where they glaze over and then gracefully faint, but continue breathing, instead of the real world way, where we have to have a respirator during surgery because substances that produce sustained unconsciousness also tend to paralyze breathing. I like sci fi settings where I can make up drugs for this reason, I know too much about anesthesia.
Someone being put to sleep with magic, which requires no qualifier because it never has medical health risks. I like fantasy settings because of this, too.
Someone passing out from being choked with someone's thighs or arm, but in a fictional way where they stay out without the risk of brain damage or death and they don't lose bowel or bladder control.
The comical clonk on the head is just ruined for me entirely unless it's an overt cartoon, because concussions are scary and subdural hematoma is even scarier.
As a writer I want to do research. As a whump fetishist I have learned that once I have done research, sometimes I harm my own suspension of disbelief. Oops.
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akiriith · 9 months ago
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1. I want to play 7R so baaaad
2. Now that I finally started there is so much side stuff that it's kinda overwhelming. And I'm still in the Grasslands OTL.
at least the card game was fun
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butterflyeffectiooon · 11 months ago
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Good intentions do not absolve abusive (in effect) treatment :)))))
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