#DO I PUSH AND PURSUE?
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solar-eclipsed · 30 days ago
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The Birth of a Star
(The Birth of a Ghost)
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ctrlzxoo · 2 months ago
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even if your eyes are open, i will help you close them.
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Afterword: Ivan’s thoughts
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aardvaark · 8 months ago
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i think it’s noteworthy that parker finds a way, multiple times, to pretend to be with hardison in a con. she kisses him in the first david job, she pretends she’s meeting him to have sex in the wedding job, they pretend they’re getting a marriage visa in the zanzibar marketplace job, and they act like they’ve been making out in the jailhouse job. and i can’t think of a time that she’s done that with any of the others?? tell me if im wrong but i don’t think she’s fake-made-out with anyone else, at least.
i mean, parker stabs or breaks the fingers of guys who flirt with her or touch her. yet in the first david job she kisses hardison. in season one, when she’s still so resistant to touch and her heart is so guarded. its just for the con, of course. but a fake kiss, something she can easily write off - that’s all she can do at that stage. she can’t offer her heart, she won’t let herself get attached, and really it takes until the long way down job (ie season 4) for her to start accepting that she is capable of loving and being loved. in season 1, when she was entirely closed off, a fake kiss is all she can do with her feelings for hardison pretzels. she keeps taking the opportunity to kiss him or be together, without the consequence of Having To Talk About It and all the problems she knows would come with that. her method of coping with Emotions is to let herself get into a bunch of mini fake dating AUs with him lol.
i think its worth bringing up because ive mentioned how sweet hardison is with her, and we all talk about how much he cares for her and shows patience and understanding, but its certainly not one-sided! parker’s enamoured with him since pretty early on. her way of showing it is just different and somehow both far less and way more direct lol. they both put effort into figuring each other out and learning to be in a relationship, not to mention that trying to be capable of a healthy relationship with hardison is one of the biggest driving forces behind parker’s character growth. he’s so important to her (and they’re so important to me <3).
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etoilesombre · 9 months ago
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kindalonely-ngl · 3 months ago
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Sylus's Voice Call: Remote Support
Today I felt like listening to his voice so I re-listen to his old voice calls and I realized I haven't listen to his Remote Support call.
I've said this before that Sylus is the type of person who I will probably love and admire from a safe distance because I am scared(?), intimidated, feel small yet attracted and in awed by his huge and secure presence. Like if I get to befriend him, I will try my best not to show my naturally pessimistic side. I will seek advice, yes, but I wouldn't dare to complain and whine in front of him because I feel like he won't entertain such things and would prefer if we get our shit together and face the problems ahead. Sylus is someone who will push his person to be the better version of themself whether the person is ready to face themself or not. He's a fierce green flag, a kind of friend my mom would pray for me to have, and the person who I should hold on to. But for me and my low self-esteem, Sylus is simply intimidatingly admirable.
... and through this voice call, I could say that I was almost right.
Maybe because I've met some friends and acquintances who have almost similar mentality/personality/presence as Sylus and I remember their firm, "positive" response and optimistic outlook made me feel even smaller, extra pessimistic and weak. And as the call continued, I was hella nervous when MC kept on pointing out how he was acting different than the "usual" Sylus would act (pampering her, calming her down, playing along with her antics etc)
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I was like "Girl, just say thank you and ask for a simple advice and support or something. Stop it I'm scared! 😭"
Maybe because I've never been too close to anyone in my life, most of the time I felt like MC is pushing it too far and that makes me feel scared and my social anxiety would just gradually makes its way into my already anxious heart. And I often thought to myself "Is this normal? Is this how people interact these days? Is this what they called a cute banter between people in love? Is this flirting? I'm scared." Especially when replying to the LIs texts, I always find myself feeling nervous, scared to choose between 3 options, as if there are right and wrong answers or the affinity level would drop if I choose the wrong one. Idk what to do with myself so sometimes I would left the texts unread for a few days until I'm ready lmao and that's how I actually am irl too.
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Anyways, as my heart started pounding anxiously, waiting for his sharp remarks, I was relieved when he put them in words nicely. I was baffled at myself for expecting him to say mean things to MC lol.
When he said "believe in yourself" so softly I got teary eyes, heartbeat slowed down, I exhaled the breath I didn't realized I've been holding for a while and I just fell in love with him. Again.
And when he said that he would be there for MC anytime haaa such a heart pounding and warming phone call 😩.
I love him and I would love him to be real but at the same time I would be sad if he is real because I know he won't even glance at my negative, pessimistic, low self-esteem ass. Seeing how he loves MC whose personality I can't relate to at all, yeah just stay fictional, my dear Sylus.
In conclusion, I'm scaroused of Sylus.
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puppppppppy · 1 year ago
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people who do STEM or administration as a career full time and continue to do art as a hobby, I am scared of you but like in a hot way. youre like if we were allowed to have cold drinks in winter. i look at you and think of miles morales with his two cakes. do you want to make out sometime
#i say all of this positively bc i just! i cant help admiring it!! even if its mundane or not a big deal to you i seriously cant wrap my head#around it.. this is in no way at all meant to be condescending or anything. whenever i look at someones bio and theyre like oh im working#as a lab assistant biologist pharmacist realtor etc im like woag.... thats insane.. and then i peep your art tag and it knocks my socks of#how?? what lives do you lead??? im so curious. i seriously want a peek inside your brains someday. or at least shadow you at work lol#i cant help but feel sad when someone says smth like well i have to support myself and art cant do that for me. or maybe you were#pushed into pursuing a 'safe' career bc i hear it a lot. all of my relatives have the same story working as nurses and OFWs for the family#i think for me its not about missed potential but rather its being sad about making a decision to put your happiness aside to get by#ive tried so hard to do it but it didnt work out. i guess watching you guys do it is fascinating to me#or maybe youve made peace with your decision or actually like what you pursued but im still amazed!! it makes me wonder what made#you pick one over the other in that case.. is it like putting time for two different things the way you would for a schedule?? hmmm#im doing graphic design so i dont really interact with ppl in other faculties even humanities like sociology or childcare... so i cant help#wondering what it must be like as someone whos pursuing visual communication both as an interest and career#i seriously wish i could do smth like a desk job or even admin and maybe ill try that if this doesnt work. or i could look into trades#but dyscalculia already makes it hard to do things like cash and mental math so i get overwhelmed if i think about this too hard#yapping
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tallymali · 1 year ago
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i have such a morbid fascination with those weird reddit dudes who rate their attraction to a woman by working out the ratios and proportions of her features. i want to know if it has ever occurred to them that this is not how other people experience attraction
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justlikeheavenfest · 1 day ago
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register now for access to passes, on sale this friday at 11am PT. May awaits with arms outstretched. 🫶 $49.99 down payment plans available. www.justlikeheavenfest.com
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eggsistential-basket · 3 months ago
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thinking about the person i could have been if i tried a little harder to find my own way
#probably the thing i am resenting my parents for right now is how good they were at convincing me#not to pursue any career paths other than the ones they laid out#every time i was like hey this seems interesting should i check it out? they would be so quick with the#do you care enough about it to stake your livelihood on it? to do it for your whole working life?#and obviously 8 yo 12 yo 14 yo 17 yo 18 yo me would get terrified and go no sorry and just not look into anything further#supposedly this is the safe option but everything i do feels meaningless#all of the jobs in this field seem meaningless#the job market in this field right now is dog shit and I'm fighting like hell for positions that just make me sad to think about#but every time i think hey what if i tried another thing#now my brain shuts me down with the do you care enough about it to stake your livelihood on it#your whole life on it#and the answer is no and it's gonna be no for a long time i bet#don't know if I'll ever find my way out of it#told my roommate's boyfriend about my general dispassion for pretty much everything in life#he asked me if I'm even a person#which feels very true#i feel like this path I've followed if i keep following it#I'm not going to be a person i can be proud of#i know it's really early in my life to say but#idk if it's nature or nurture or my own damn fault but all the ambition has been weaned out of me and I've been getting just surviving#i just wish i got told more you can be whatever you want to be :)#instead of whatever you'll do you'll be good at so do what makes money and push your hobbies to the side you can do them after you retire#your mom likes this and you're good at it so you'll like it too it'll make you money this is the best thing#the other thing is harder and doesn't make as much money don't do that you won't like it that much i bet#when i was younger#maybe I'd be struggling more but I'd be really happy and fulfilled#or maybe this is genuinely the best timeline and eggs who tried to pursue art hates it now#maybe I'd be really stupid at all the other things i gave a passing glance at#eggsistential speaks#tag rant
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ai-the-broccoli · 3 months ago
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it's something I've thought about for a short while, but...
transmasc and/or nonbinary Hotori Yuzuki . is this anything
(I say into the mic, to an audience of like barely anyone really though, there are so few posts in hotori's character tags)
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gaylittleguys · 2 days ago
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I kinda wish they’d delved more into what exactly went down between Silco and Vander bc it’s so ambiguous, but the letter in s2 did sort of allude to maybe Silco getting Felicia killed? As does Warwick/Vander’s scattered flashback in the same episode with Silco standing over her body on the bridge…. SO what if. What if on the bridge/attack against Piltover Silco had orchestrated something alongside it that backfired, causing them to lose/more people be killed, much like Powder’s monkey bomb in the beginning of s1…. 🤔
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#arcane spoilers#yum tasty parallels between them and their daughters#but also it seems like something changed between seasons perhaps#bc in the flashbacks vander is clean shaven suggesting it’s before the bridge/felica’s death#(the flashbacks in s1 of their fight/near drowning at least)#but that may be an unintended inconsistency?#they’re so inch resting…..#bc some things frame it as an ideological difference but idk if that would have led to such a violent falling out#but a fuckup that lost the fight for Zaun AND killed more people including Felicia could have done it#I can see how that would have pushed Vander to stop fighting and pursue a deal#but also push Silco to turn to underhanded tactics instead of something big + aggressive as well#but also being nearly killed by your best friend would do that too I suppose#if it was more accidental then I could see it being something they could forgive each other for#(shaking crying sobbing)#and the paralellsssssss#idk if there’s an official source somewhere talking about it! if there is lmk#the fight/drowning seems to come a bit later than the bridge tho?#given that the water’s a fair bit uh. down.#and Vander was still on the bridge to pick up the kids#sooo maybe only afterwards it was revealed to be kinda Silco’s fault?#while they’re both dealing with the loss of the attack AND grief over Felicia#idkkkkk#it really does seem like something changed between seasons bc I’d think that powder/jinx or Vi would remember Silco? if this was the case?#I guess he changed a lot and I’d think maybe Vander would have just told them he was dead perhaps#.doc#taking the cowards way out leaving most of this in the tags
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mejomonster · 11 days ago
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There's a podcast I found on youtube called Behind the Bastards that goes into the history of awful people in history. Listened to the Thomas Jefferson episodes recently and. Wow rich people always have been shit (as a group)
Jefferson admired the roman 'farmers' who were land owners who had slaves work their land. He and his peers were virginia landowners who also had slaves farm for them. The ideal he read about and admired were "hard working self sufficient farmers" but this image is not of a man hunting and farming himself or with his family, but a man living in comfort with slaves to do the work and provide the comfort.
Now the big trend among conservatives is tradwifes and the image men are sold about it - a woman cleaning their home, farming for them, providing for them and obeying them. Which on the small scale is to like appease poor men and poor women - to give poor men this illusion that they could have a stay at home wife and afford for her to not work eventually (and also serve him), to give poor women (that they could afford to not work for money one day and serve a man who loves them for being the 'right' kind of woman). The people who are actually achieving this lifestyle are rich men (and women who end up working since... if you're an influencer that's your job, so it's all an illusion since the lifestyle could not be achieved without money coming in).
It's just a symptom of a bigger pattern. Conservative circles push this lifestyle as idealized to the masses (a man being served by someone for free, able to control them absolutely). If the masses aspire to that, hope for that, then the masses will continue to think they'll be billionaires one day who WILL have that and DESERVE to have that. And instead of fighting the billionaires, they'll think that is the goal to be admired as a sign of success.
Meanwhile our whole world, our current world, is at the mercy of some very very rich fucks. Who are attempting to sap what wealth everyone else has, and take it for themselves. These billionaires live in comfort! Far more comfort than slave owners of centuries past! These billionaires have so much money, they can buy any service they want, land, websites, politicians. And yet its never 'enough' money to these bastards. They need to buy more property to rent to the masses, and drive rent prices up by using housing as assets. They need healthcare gutted because god forbid the masses pay less for healthcare - they SHOULD pay 100,0000 to live after an accident! God forbid the masses own property, and therefore have a little wealth and security for their family - if they're less housing stable, they'll quit shitty jobs less. You can abuse them more! God forbid the majority of humans have food, water, shelter, healthcare. Got to raise the price of all groceries, because you can! Because you need to get ALL the money the masses manage to make, and funnel it to yourself. Billionaires are just like those illusions of "self sufficient farmers" who own slaves and rely on slaves to both provide necessities and luxuries.
Billionaires really spew the bullshit they're self sufficient, then don't pay their employees living wages. Billionaires have nothing to offer without the efforts of their employees, and the money those employees earned for them (or the rent they charged etc). They certainly aren't self sufficient, they're also not a single benefit to society. They dream of a world where everyone serves them, provides for them, and gives them always MORE. In many ways the world probably already is this, all of us buy something that eventually contributes to a billionaire, or work for one (or for a company that serves one), or pay taxes to a government that coddles a billionaire, buy groceries. But billionaires always want MORE. More more more. They're destructive in their existence. In what they choose to do, which is take from others to give themselves more, to give themselves SO much they can't even use it all. They'd still be rich enough to buy a politician off, to buy an island or a website, if they paid their employees a living wage and charged reasonable prices. Once you have enough money you simply cannot spend it all in your lifetime, in your grandchildrens lifetimes, even if you buy absolutely everything you ever want. They don't have to seek to take from others endlessly, to continue existing with the lifestyle they do. But they still seek to take more and more and more. In the process they hurt most people, and hurt the world we live in as a whole. And they don't care, even though it would not hurt them at all and would not take a single tangible benefit they receive, to stop being Such destructive presences in the world.
#rant#its just like.... so jeffersons argument for why he didnt emancipate his slaves was he had debts to pay#and debt was inheritable back then. (kind of sounds like trumps massive debts when he ran for pres but that was all his own debt)#well one of jeffersons friends offered to give him money when he died to 1 pay off debts 2 free all his slaves#and jefferson refused. even though he was provided the means to pay his debt! the reason he said he didnt want to give up slaves#and billionaires are kind of like that. they have SO much fucking wealth they do not have to give up a single comfort or desire to simply..#stop being so goddamn destructive... but they refuse to stop being destructive. there's no Need for them to be the way they are. they WANT#to be this way.#jefferson wanted to be that way. tell himself he's self sufficient and own people who had to do what he said and provide for him#he (and MANY people in debt at the time) could have worked to eliminate inherited debt#an issue which likely affected the many poor people - not just the people with land.#i dont know if rich people just fucking brainwash themselves#the way they try to brainwash the poor: into this idea that having wealth means youre 'self sufficient' and 'the best'#and so pursuit of ever MORE wealth is the only way to prove you're worthy of existing#and to lose wealth or simply pursue less than a peer makes you a LOSER failure worthless.#so billionaires cant just 'stop destroying' because they'd still have enough to buy anything. but their worth would be LESS than a peer#and they're horrified by that number being LESS.#and that idea also aspires to push poor people to attack each other: for the small business owner to pay poverty wages and do part time so#no one gets healthcare. for the worker to attack immigrants because their employer might pay them even Less under the table#for the worker to get 2 or 3 jobs even though its killing them and making them ill because to have more money is to be 'better'
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datastate · 1 month ago
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i don't mean this to brag or anything silly like that bc. that is weird to do! but i seriously do think at this point i've thought more abt the intricacies of asunaro than anyone else - barring nankidai, of course, but even so... that's primarily a matter of how long yttd existed in his head. whereas i was only introduced to it abt 3 years ago... otherwise. well. hey mister nankidai would you like to collaborate. hey,
#i would also need to find a good translation of frankenstein for him. to encourage inadvertently transgender michiru#all else can stay hc that's fine. but this is my only price...#honestly though like. if this is a generational thing; it really opens up the question of what it means for mr. chidouin to adopt#a child that isn't his own by blood. while the other asunaro associates (presumably) had given away their candidates#(though it's not required - seeing as hiyori was kept after all... likely what could've pushed mrs. hiyori to put the idea of#a memory machine in gashu's head. it seems she's presently out of the picture since gashu assumed head researcher; but ideas remain)#giving them away likely wasn't only to ensure it didn't draw unnecessary attention toward themselves post-hades#but to ensure that these candidates - or their grandchildren - could be integrated into general society#and learn their rules so they aren't fish out of water... not like kai or the fake hinako.#you can imply that even miley. and of course gashu. are able to retain their composure toward the general public#and if their candidates can do the same then it ensures a future for asunaro#i have my own assumptions about exactly why this had reinitiated something similar to the hades incident but i will leave that for mcfdau..#because i'm. shy. and i've already gone on. and i am so sleepy so my words are likely incomprehensible#especially w the layers and layers of hc. forgive me !!!#jestersvaguely#yttdposting#also to be clear i believe michiru was also wondering abt a memory machine of her own. as a personal project. but needed the slightest push#to pursue it...#okay. i sleepy now
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hoziersong · 2 months ago
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anyone know some fun activities to do with a 4 year old without leaving the house
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bangcakes · 3 months ago
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killjoy-prince · 4 months ago
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Ok two things. One, I'm sure they meant best friend when they wrote 'bf' but I keep seeing it as boyfriend. Two, the profiles can only be seen by people who have the RFA Chat App. Which is a private app. That Seven made. The guy who wrote this status. Your bf isnt gonna see it he's not part of the RFA
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t-u-i-t-c · 7 months ago
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Shinobi 25: It's Summer! Beware of Dracula
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justlikeheavenfest · 1 day ago
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register now for access to passes, on sale this friday at 11am PT. May awaits with arms outstretched. 🫶 $49.99 down payment plans available. www.justlikeheavenfest.com
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