solar-eclipsed

[solar-eclipsed]

i feel bad about blocking porn bots sometimes like shit what IF ashley6507 is into bob dylan yaoi

[solar-eclipsed]

creating a alternate stage persona and living in its shadow to the point where you become it which ultimately ruins your life and destroys the line between a public persona and the real you sounds a little bit fun I’m not gonna lie

[solar-eclipsed]

GODDDDDD I hate these kids mannnn

[solar-eclipsed]

Gaining its strength from the moon’s rays, this loyal pokemon is the perfect companion for quiet night walks and stargazing.

[solar-eclipsed]

siffrin has a very negative perception of themself, and it's especially fascinating to explore it through how he treats other versions of himself.

in the ghost event, siffrin refers to the ghost siffrin with it, while the others use siffrin's pronouns, he/they. the others see the other siffrin as their friend, while siffrin sees the ghost as something potentially dangerous, when the ghost has never done anything to siffrin or their friends, or exhibited any signs of violence or danger.

when siffrin encounters mal du pays, his first instinct is to attack it.

siffrin doesn't hesitate to attack mal du pays, even when it has the same face and appearance as him, and continues doing so even when it has no effect. in fact, the only way to advance the fight is to repeatedly attack mal du pays.

siffrin dehumanizes the ghost of themself. they don't hesitate to attack something that wears their own face. they externalize their self-hatred onto these other versions of themself with violence and derogatory language.

and loop has this same tendency. they say cruel things to siffrin.

but they also realize that being cruel to siffrin is unfair of them, because they're not truly directing it to siffrin-- they're directing it to themself. siffrin is a convenient target for those thoughts and feelings, but they're much more compassionate for siffrin and sympathetic of his plight than they are for themself.

loop thinks they're disgusting and manipulative. and stardust is them, so it's only natural that stardust is also disgusting. but now that they have an outsider's perspective, loop is able to see the good parts of siffrin that they weren't able to see in themself before this. they're able to see siffrin as a normal person-- someone who is overly harsh on themself, someone who doesn't deserve the bad things that happen to them.

loop cares about siffrin. they'll touch siffrin to show him that he's real. they'll try to talk siffrin out of using his dagger to commit suicide. they'll remind siffrin of the party's names if siffrin forgets, despite how they try to avoid saying everyone's names and use titles for them instead. in act 5, loop decides to approach the party and help them reach siffrin, because siffrin's wellbeing is more important than the hurt they might feel at meeting them again.

and siffrin reflects that same love and care for their self that loop displays.

despite how negatively siffrin may view himself, how he might externalize his self-loathing on other versions of him, that doesn't apply to loop. because loop is someone who siffrin formed an emotional connection with. when he finds out about loop's identity, his opinion of them doesn't change.

after siffrin wins the twohats fight, he says "my self hatred isn't that strong that I'd literally kill another me."

but his reaction when encountering mal du pays has proven that he is willing to attempt exactly that-- mal du pays may be a sadness, but it's his. it's made up of siffrin's fears and homesickness. its appearance reflects siffrin's near-perfectly. it is a sadness, but it is also another siffrin.

so it's not really that siffrin wouldn't kill another him, but that siffrin refuses to kill loop.

loop is someone who helped siffrin throughout their journey. someone who genuinely wanted the best for them. someone who could be a listening ear for his troubles, someone siffrin didn't have to act around. siffrin wouldn't have made it as far as they did without them.

siffrin realizes that he can't kill them. because they're him, and they did so much for him, knowing that they were the same person from the get go. loop knew every disgusting thing about them, and they every reason not to help. they could have hurt him, or ignored him, or anything else, but they decided to help. and they stuck to it until the very end, until the final loop. 

if it wasn't for loop contacting their family, and talking to them, and helping them navigate the house, siffrin may still have been trapped in the loops, or gotten a worse ending. and they didn't have to do it-- they could've just stood by and waited for the next loop to try to talk to siffrin again, but they went out of their way to get siffrin help, even though it hurt them to do so. they didn't have to, but they did, and siffrin got to have a happy ending, as a direct result of loop's help.

loop cares about siffrin. loop loves and cares about themself-- the proof is written all over their actions, everything they did for siffrin. and siffrin's self hatred means nothing next to that. so, in response, siffrin accepts loop as someone precious to them. someone they refuse to kill. someone they thank for everything.

siffrin accepts themself.

[solar-eclipsed]

[solar-eclipsed]

toxic music taste gap relationship

[solar-eclipsed]

💛 Day 69

he’s an empath

[solar-eclipsed]

Hitch and Hitomi's designs changed so drastically in the end and Im so GLADDDD

they were so bland before in my personal opinion.

[solar-eclipsed]

workin on another piece near dallas again! this time with a template to have fun colors YAY this will take a lonng while

[solar-eclipsed]

THEM ❤️‍🔥✨😖 ( love QueenTenna )

+Extra Queen 🤓✨

[solar-eclipsed]

Cool kids in town

[solar-eclipsed]

[solar-eclipsed]

📱 through a camera's lens

[solar-eclipsed]

Full respect to the deltarune transfem headcanons like I 100% see them too but I do take issue with people saying the only reading for the stuff the characters experience is transfem when much of it can be (and I'd argue explicitly is) racial. Its a story about a ethnic minority child being raised by parents who, despite their best efforts can't understand them. Changing their name after adopting a child from a different ethnicity is so common. Susie being treated like a threat and a problem child even tho she hasn't actually done anything looks almost exactly like my childhood. Idk its probably cause this is the 80% white website but its so much the experience of being a poc in a white neighborhood that I'm shocked more people arent talking about it

[solar-eclipsed]

Old One Piece drawing I'm posting here now lol

[solar-eclipsed]

i havent died so maybe i wont ever