#Cute Ending

[angstyandromanticwriting]

Regina George X Fem!Reader Angsty, Cute, and Fluffy Prompt [Full Version + Part 1 due to Tumblr text block limit]

• Takes place after the occurrence of the film [2024 ver. with Reneé Rapp]

• Some mild changes made to some elements of the story

• This is the entirety of the prompt/instalment, as promised!

• There will be more!

!TW: Being stuck in a toxic relationship, insult(s), mention of previously being kidnapped, implied suffering from PTSD + Depression + Separation Anxiety + Anxiety in general, mention of previously being abused (physically and verbally) + injury detail, jealousy, mention of divorce + poor relationship with family/family members, elements of self-doubt + presence of self put-downs, panic-attacks/mention of them, swearing, presence of weaponry, threat(s), suicide attempt(s) + suicidal intentions + consideration, implied/mention of previous elements of homophobia, mention of having nightmares linked to trauma, drug-taking (medication), mention of substance abuse (alcohol addiction), mention of miscarrying, breaking up, sense of drowning - if I’ve missed any, let me know!

Birds’ Eye View/Heart’s Desire

“Are you done, or-?” You inquired, raising your eyebrows, after Regina threw another line of insults at you; you’d told her to rant, seeing she needed it, but…

“No,” she answered, without hesitation, even though she appeared a little exasperated, wincing, before she looked away from you, and sighed heavily, knowing she shouldn’t get you involved with all that was currently frustrating her following her recent arguments with her boyfriend, Shane Olman, especially when you didn’t even know him, and hadn’t ever talked to him, only a recent student at Northshore High School, managing to take on Senior Year after you’d been expelled from your last school. “Yes,” she added, barely audibly, and you would appear surprised, not expecting such an answer from her as you tilted your head partially, a pained as well as skeptical expression on your face; you didn’t want her to feel as if she couldn’t talk to you about all that was burdening her the way you feared she did, hoping against hope - however - at the same time, that she had instead managed to clear her mind a little, until she crumpled, and looked up at you again with a hurt look on her face before she said ‘no’, her voice softer than you’d ever heard it before. “N-No, I’m not, I-.. I’m-..” She shrugged, before awkwardly bowing her head, and you would nod gravely, smiling sadly over at her, before you timidly inched closer to her to gently squeeze her shoulder, prompting her to express relief, her heart skipping a beat, before she glanced up at you again, and felt strong enough to continue just by having her gaze lock with your own in the best way possible. “I hate you,” she spat, her gaze never leaving your’s, whilst you couldn’t help, but smirk in her direction, amused though you knew you shouldn’t be, but it didn’t stop your heart from aching as you wondered who had hurt her the way you could tell that they had, before she’d come back to your Uncle’s ranch with you. “Y-You stink, and I hope an air conditioner falls on you,” she added sharply, clearly through gritted teeth, whilst you appeared taken aback - of all things you thought she might say, that was one of the least you’d been expecting to hear, but it still made you have to fight back a giggle regardless of how it had shocked you, at first, “okay.” She drew in another shallow breath, before releasing it through her nose like you’d told her to, just to try and calm her down when she’d almost broken one of the mucking up shovels you and her had been using to tidy up the horses’ stalls here. “Okay, I - I think I’m-.. I think I’m done, now,” she stated, and you would almost feel disappointed, though at the same time of course you were relieved to know that she seemed at least somewhat relieved, now that she’d slung out yet another insult in your direction, though she wasn’t directing anything of what she meant toward you; she couldn’t.

The thought startled her, just for a moment, as she winced again, and forced a smile in your direction, trying to hide that such a small thing had flustered her the way nothing else ever had before.

“That’s good,” you stated, and she would hesitate, before nodding, and smiling softly over at you, this time the smile was genuine; it was hard not to allow the corners of her lips to curve upward whenever she was around you, “that’s always good - so-.. are you ready to talk about it, now?”

She would appear taken aback by your question, her smile faltering a little, before she awkwardly cleared her throat, and nodded slowly, though you could tell she was reluctant to discuss what had been happening between her and Shane recently.

“I guess,” she answered, and you would smile warmly back at her, glad that she felt able to talk about such things with you - it even made you feel a little warm and fuzzy inside, like a sense of pride was washing over you in response to your hope that she seemed to trust you, just as much as you trusted her, and somehow had ever since you’d first met her that day; the day she’d first been sent here by her mother to distract her, and take her mind off of the tense situation between her and Shane, before you’d even started at Northshore High. “But - if we’re gonna talk about it,” she began again, and you would tense up for a moment, wondering what she might be about to say, next; you were always terrified that maybe something bad would happen - that maybe she would up, and abandon you, though you couldn’t imagine why. You always put such dread up to how you’d been kidnapped, and abused the way you and, a few years ago now; you were quite young when it happened, and the nights you’d spent screaming and crying had never left your mind, especially not at night, where your nightmares were at their most vivid moments. For a moment, you remembered your kidnapper coming in to kick at your side for how you’d tried to call your home, after successfully sneaking out of his basement, but that wasn’t the worst of the punishment; he spent every night after that breaking each and every one of your fingers, and he would have moved onto your wrist, or toes, if the police didn’t locate you when they did. You winced at the memory, but you wouldn’t let her see the pain in your eyes as you bowed your head, before she could lock eyes with you again, making her heart sink a little as soon as she realised she wouldn’t be able to lock eyes with you again, if you didn’t lift your head the way you had, before, trying to act as if you were distracted by the next pile of dung you were shovelling up at your feet. “Can we do it whilst we’re mucking up, l-like we are, now?” You appeared taken aback again by her request, forgetting your previous thought as you looked up at her again, forgetting how to breathe for a moment whilst she silently admired your eyes without even realising that she was, trying to tell herself that it was just because it made sense to make eye contact right now, rather than glance down at your lips, or just down at the ground when you were both in the middle of a conversation the way that you were, or had been, now.

You appeared skeptical again, once you’d recomposed yourself, and could finally breathe again, as soon as you remembered how your lungs were supposed to work, ever since you’d been born a few years ago, now.

“I don’t know,” you answered warily, prompting her heart to sink, and eyes to darken a little; it made something ache within her for a reason unbeknownst to her to see that you still didn’t seem to trust her with the shovel, but she guessed she understood after she’d been wielding it the way she had earlier, wanting to either break it or smack someone over the head with it whilst she’d been thinking about her and Shane’s recent argument. It was seeing the hurt on her face - even if it were only there for a moment - that made your heart cave in, as you - without hesitation - took up her shovel, before holding it out to her, and forgetting how to breathe all over again as you waited for her to take it from you. “Here, of - of course we can,” you reassured her gently, a little breathlessly, but you tried to hide that you couldn’t breathe as you tried not to watch her hand as it inched closer to your own, before she accepted the shovel from you, and couldn’t help, but allow the pinky finger of her left hand to brush against the back of your own, prompting your heart to stutter, and you to tense up again as a makeshift spurt of electricity seemed to run down your arm - something you’d never felt before. You wondered if she felt it too, noticing the dazed expression on her face, making your cheeks heat up as you hastily looked away from her again, though you longed to keep your eyes focused on her, and only her, despite your not knowing why you’d even had such a reaction to her skin touching your own the way it had, for a split second.

“Thank you,” she replied, once she’d been able to find her voice again as she smiled timidly down at the ground beneath her, “that was-.. really brave of you, considering.”

You lifted your eyebrows again as you glanced over at her, confused by her praise, but still you couldn’t keep the smile from your face as your eyes glinted a little over at her, prompting her heart to skip a beat again as soon as she felt your eyes upon her, encouraging her more than enough to glance up at you again, her eyes not hesitating to lock with your own as you both faltered in place for a moment, staring over at each other as if nobody else existed anymore, besides you two, right here, right now.

It took her more strength than it ever had before to stay stood where she was, seeing herself in another universe inching closer to you, whilst she lifted her right hand up to your left cheek, only making her heart begin to pound a little as you warily glanced over at her, your heart skipping a beat, almost as if you were picturing the same thing as she was, hardly breathing, just like she was, stood before you, before her eyes darkened, and she awkwardly cleared her throat again to break herself from her previous daze, as well as you from your own as you silently cursed yourself, before digging up at the muck again to try and clear your head somehow, only to fail miserably as soon as you felt her hand upon your shoulder.

“Reg-” You spluttered out, before you even knew her name was slipping from your lips, but before you could continue, she pressed on, determined to show you that she meant everything she told you, whilst she knew you silently doubted some things about yourself, though you’d not even told her her about what had happened to you, when you were younger, and felt more hopeless than you ever had before.

“I meant it,” she cooed, gently squeezing your shoulder as you timidly glanced up at her, wishing you could breathe normally again, whilst at the same time you were terrified of losing the way she made you feel, whenever she was with you the way she was, now, “you’re the bravest girl I know.”

You tried not to shudder, your eyes threatening to fill with tears as a lump began to form within your throat, only making it harder for you to not break down in front of her as you forced a shaky smile in her direction, before bowing your head again as soon as small tears began to form within your eyes.

“Bravest, huh?” You mused, and she nodded hastily, not hesitating at all because she meant every word, and knew she always would. Being hit by a bus the way she had last year had made her feel different; more grateful, of everything, as well as everyone, around her - for a split second, whilst she was unconscious, she swore her life had flashed before her eyes, and it made her feel guilty for almost everything she’d ever done - well, everything, until now.

“You - mean a heck of a lot to me,” she expressed, and you would appear taken aback again, your heart skipping a beat, before you glanced up at her again, and wondered why your heart felt as if it were being squeezed even though at the same time it felt as if it were currently soaring with every word she shared with you, and you’d reacted in similar ways ever since you’d first met her, and began to feel alive whenever she was with you the way that she was, now, “you always have, e-ever since I-.. y’know, got to actually know you, and talk to you, and that’ll never change, I promise - you know that, right?”

“I know,” you reassured her, your voice briefly trembling, prompting her heart to squeeze alongside your own as she frowned, and carefully eased you into a hug whilst you melted into her embrace, and wouldn’t hesitate to return it as you buried your face into her left shoulder, feeling safer than you ever had before as you subconsciously drowned within her sweet scent in the best way possible.

“Good,” she returned gently, “I’m glad.” You both fell quiet for a moment as you tried to recompose yourselves, before she held you at arms length blissfully, her eyes glinting alongside your own. “So,” she chimed, and you couldn’t help, but giggle softly whilst you carefully brushed away any remaining tears, “should we continue mucking, or-?”

You smiled warmly at her, before nodding, and taking up your shovel again, as if she hadn’t had you almost breaking down completely within her arms a brief moment ago.

“I’d love to,” you replied, brighter than she’d ever heard you before, prompting her heart to jump alongside your own as she smiled sheepishly back at you, evidently glad to see that you were happy again, now that she’d admitted to you that you were more than what you thought you were to her, before, “as long as you’re still up to talking about whatever you wanna talk about, as we go?”

She tensed up again, remembering Shane, and the fight he and her had had, earlier today, and for a moment you regretted more than anything bringing up the situation, until she smiled reassuringly over at you again, and nodded, before taking your free hand within her own to soothe you even more, indirectly making your heart pound faster than it ever had before as you tried not to glance down at her fingers intertwined with your own, whilst also silently praying that she couldn’t hear what was currently going on within your chest.

“Always,” she answered, and you would express relief, your expression softening, before you glanced down at the ground again, your cheeks heating up even more than they ever had before, “but before that - where should we start?”

🜚

“So he lied to you, about the whole thing?” You mused, a hurt look on your face as you and Regina slowly walked side-by-side, her head bowed, and your eyes dark whilst you tried to ignore how your blood was boiling at the thought of her boyfriend, Shane, disrespecting her like that, hurting her the way you could tell that he was, even now that she was away from him, trying not to think about all that had taken place between them both recently, when things had seemed like they’d be okay the end of last year, before she and him had begun the senior year at Northshore High together, alongside you.

“Yep,” she murmured, and you would frown, glancing over at her for a brief moment whilst your heart ached alongside her own, something she never thought she’d feel before, until now, as she silently begged for a distraction that would end this conversation, and bring on a new one.

The sun was going down - slowly, but surely. The last of the birds out were singing, her looking around for them subconsciously as if she were recently only just discovering each and every one of them around her, after the accident had changed her last year. A thoughtful expression crossed her face, a barely audible sigh of awe escaping her whilst she admired the area around her - your uncle did seem to own quite a bit of natural land; a few acres, at least, beyond the stable.

You couldn’t help, but smile softly in her direction as you admired her in the new light, tilting your head partially. It was almost like a breeze; like something new had hit you harder than it ever had before; like you were seeing every new for the first time, just by being with her. Your heart skipped a beat, and you hastily averted your gaze before she could look back in your direction, and lock eyes with you, prompting your heart to sink as you wished for a moment that you could have met her gaze, but you were terrified of her seeing the evident effect she seemed to have on you, without either of you knowing what it was, exactly, during this blissful moment in time, away from the hustle and bustle of civilisation. Regina was almost glad, to say the least, that her mother had sent her here just for the time being, until your uncle decided that he needed no more stable hands, but she guessed she’d always have you at the school, right?

Before she had time to acknowledge the silent dread forming within the pit of her stomach, you gently took her right hand within your briefly shaky left one, prompting her to forget how to breathe for a moment as she tensed up, and her legs stopped moving beneath her, her head turning on its own toward you before she could even direct it to do so, as if she were no longer controlling her body for a moment, and was watching the pair of you from somewhere else; at a birds-eye view.

Actually, she ventured that such a thing wouldn’t be so bad; to be up high, with the birds that were currently singing from somewhere up in the trees around you both, the odd one or two or even three taking off to either continue their birdsong somewhere else, or depart to their nests wherever they were for the night, alone, or with a family to keep them company; chicks, mate, or a flock. It struck her, eventually, that it was unusual for her to be having such thoughts; she wasn’t used to it, still - the way you made her want to continue her change, after the bus had struck her last year. She knew the old her would probably never bother to acknowledge such a natural scenery, nor would she even notice how this light seemed to make your eyes glint in a certain way.

She winced again, realising she had been staring back at you for a few seconds too long, before she awkwardly cleared her throat, and mustered up the only thing she could think to ask, right now, without having her voice tremble, or having herself get lost completely by all that was around her right now, though she wasn’t completely opposed to waking up to such a scenery each day, you included, somewhere within that dream, in what position she wasn’t quite sure, yet. She still couldn’t put her finger upon it; where you stand, to her - what she felt around you was completely new; like fireworks in the ocean, or particles of snow forming a perfect layer upon lava.

“You okay?” She inquired, her voice barely audible, and you would falter, realising you’d not spoken yet, before you nodded hastily, and smiled timidly back at her whilst your cheeks began to feel as if they were heating up again.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine, I just-..” You sighed, before looking away from her, and begrudgingly releasing her hand, not sure what had even prompted you to want to hold it within your’s for a moment in the first place as you tried to ignore the warm and fuzzy feeling you were currently experiencing within your chest, as long as she were beside you the way that she was, now.

Regina could tell that you were struggling to find the right words to say - of course she could, so she decided to help the only way she knew she could, right now, inching closer to you somewhat as she looked around at the scenery again, smiling softly as she did - it all felt like some hidden paradise she never even knew existed, before now, and she guessed it didn’t surprise her to find that you were included in such a place as this.

“It’s really pretty, here,” she stated, and you would subconsciously relax, beside her; your body tensing up less in the corner of her eye as you drew in a barely audible sigh of relief to her right, glad that she’d changed the subject before you could falter completely beside her the way you feared you soon would, the way that things had been going recently, “peaceful - I can’t believe I’ve never been here, before.”

You slowly nodded beside her, but you couldn’t stop thinking about the guilt you felt, bringing up Shane again the way you had earlier, after she’d told you about all the fights they’d been having recently, whenever she weren’t here, with you, or was with her friends back at Northshore; you weren’t really used to being around them, yet, so when she was with them, you were either in the library, or outside, writing underneath one of the trees on the hill, unless you were bunking completely - you never really cared about your education, especially after you’d been kidnapped and abused a few years ago, now.

What your kidnapper had done to you had just made you feel like nothing mattered anymore; you hated, or distrusted most things; you only ever felt anything that wasn’t negative when you were with Regina, or the horses your Uncle owned, specifically Firenze, and Felicity, two Friesians that had been here since they were foals. You’d always dreamed about watching them grow, and you would have been able to, if it weren’t for the man who’d taken you the way he did when you were smaller.

You tried to stop thinking about it, turning to face her subconsciously, and the sight of her was enough to clear your head; enough to get you to blurt out exactly what you were thinking, right now, until you knew you should stop.

“I’m sorry,” you managed, your voice weak, and close to a whisper, prompting her heart to sink, before she glanced over at you, her eyes darkening; she just wished you’d stop putting yourself down for things she believed you shouldn’t put yourself down for, especially after all that you’d been through, yourself. She didn’t know yet about the kidnapping, but she knew that you came from a broken home - just your luck, right? You’d had to sit up most nights before you were taken; before the divorce, listening to your parents shouting at each through the walls, but you never understood what it meant that they were doing so, before one night you’d seen your mother packing up her things, and shortly after that bottles of beer appearing around the house. You’d never been more glad to have been put up with your Uncle, instead, by the police, though you still felt guilty sometimes, wondering what was going on with both your father as well as your mother, not that either of them had treated you as well as you thought they had, before, naive to what was going on around you when you were younger, and less aware of the tricks the world seemed to play on some unfortunate people for the fun of seeing them suffer under the clouds it tended to bring down upon them quite often. “I shouldn’t have brought him up again, I-.. I’m-”

“Y/n, don’t,” she interjected gently, making to hold your hands reassuringly within her own, but you would shake your head hastily, before stepping back; you couldn’t let yourself get away with it; didn’t want to get away with anything like that, anymore, as you continued, a little more shakily, worrying her above the pain she was experiencing ever since you’d moved away from her the way you had, a brief moment ago, now. You were beginning to panic a little, that much she could tell, and she couldn’t let it consume you any further than it already had, knowing what would happen, if she did, and she wasn’t ready at all to see you have a panic attack the way she already had once before, when she’d found you sobbing uncontrollably and shaking in the corner of the stable, a few paces away from the inside and outside arenas here for the riding students that tended to come here sometimes, herself included, as a reward for being a stable hand here alongside you, as well as the others.

Neither of you tended to talk to them as much as you spoke to each other; they seemed a little more awkward around you both, neither of you were sure why - it was probably because the owner of the place was your Uncle, and she was hanging out with you a lot of the time; they didn’t want to do or say anything that might get them kicked out of the place. You fought back a shaky sigh, trying not to break down in front of her again as you subconsciously wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to tell yourself that it wasn’t as bad as how your kidnapper had hurt you; you wouldn’t be punished like that again, but it didn’t seem to help much.

“You see, I - I don’t have much of a filter,” you mused, your words almost stumbling over each other as she tried to slowly get closer to you whilst you spoke, and were distracted, “and when I do, I still don’t know much of what I’m doing, and I’m sorry for that; I should have thought about it, before I said it, and I hate myself for it, I really do, I-”

Before you could even process what was going on in your head, your heart racing, and tears clouding your vision, Regina’s arms were around you, and you fell quiet in an instant, your head clearing up again whilst you melted subconsciously into her touch, small tears leaking from your eyes as you slowly returned the hug, not sure what to make of anything anymore. All you could think about now was that she was with you, holding you, and for a moment you wondered if this was the safest you’d ever felt before.

You had so much to thank her for, smiling softly against her shoulder as you stared ahead of you, but the words were stuck in your throat; you didn’t want to move; didn’t want this moment to change as you subconsciously clung to her black jumper, and silently begged her to never let go of you - not again.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” she cooed, her voice soothing you in an instant as she rubbed your back using her right hand, the circular movements leaving your skin feeling as if it were thrumming with electricity beneath your t-shirt with every touch, and you felt hopeless in a way, but this time it wasn’t linked to anything like fear - you only wanted more moments like these, more than you’d ever wanted anything else before.

It started off as an idea; you pictured the lights of the distant city against a dark sky, her arms around you almost like they were, now, before it became a picture you longed to witness, first hand, with every part of your being, your heart almost calling for it, and it didn’t take long at all for you to give into it, begrudgingly holding her at arm’s length, before the words so easily slipped from your lips before you could even process that they were doing so:

“Can I show you something?” You blurted out, and Regina appeared taken aback by your request, but she couldn’t say ‘no’ - it never occurred to her to do so, even when she was stood before your motorbike, and there was a glint in your eyes that she’d never seen before.

🜚

It felt like you both were soaring out of your Uncle’s riding centre, before a few seconds had even passed; like you were flying, without having a bird’s wings to do so. Neither of you spoke for a little while; Regina was silently admiring the distant lights of the city, as well as the near corn fields and occasional rabbits that ran alongside you both on the fields. You didn’t have the heart to interrupt her, occasionally glancing back at her, and smiling warmly as her eyes lit up at the sight of something new, only when you could; you didn’t wanna get her into an accident, not much caring about yourself if ever anything happened to you, but if anything happened to her…

You drew in a barely audible sharp breath through a wince, subconsciously slowing the motorbike down even more, though the road was often quiet the way it was, now, a rare car passing by you both every now and then, followed by a lengthy silence that seemed to stretch out between universe after universe. This was the life - if only it could stay like this, forever.

“This is nice,” she mused, perching her chin upon your right shoulder, prompting your heart to skip a beat as a dazed expression crossed your face for a moment, and you were glad it was being hidden by a helmet, worried that you might soon begin to blush again for a reason unbeknownst to you. You wondered how things had got even better; that she was so close to you, and already had her arms wrapped around you, obviously just as a safety precaution - you tried not to make anything of this moment, though it did make your heart pound uncomfortably against your ribcage somehow, to the point you were scared she might be able to hear it, but you assumed she couldn’t as she didn’t mention it, prompting you instantly to express relief, but you tried not to relax too much, reminding yourself that you were still responsible for her right now more than ever, and that you were still in control of your motorbike, no matter how much you wished you could just revel completely in the moment alongside her, without being fearful of how you could possible lose, or hurt her somehow, if ever you slipped up any minute, now - any second, even.

You kept your gaze firmly upon the road ahead, tightening your grip on the handles whilst she continued to look around, wondering how she’d never done this before, especially not with someone like you. Sure, it was similar to when she was driving her car, but this felt different in more ways than one. She snuggled even closer to you - just because it was getting cold, she tried to tell herself; it didn’t mean anything, though she could feel somewhere deeper inside her that she was wrong, and that scared her more than anything else ever had before. This was all so new, and something she never thought possible; she’d had feelings before, of course she had, regarding Shane and Aaron, but they’d never been this intense.

Even the crushes she’d had on other women (that she tried to ignore and excessively deny), had been ones that didn’t last as long as she thought - and sometimes feared - they would. A bird swooped past you both, but you wouldn’t let anything startle you, not if it meant that she could be put in danger by your recklessness if you let something distract you like that almost did.

“You okay, back there?” You inquired, your voice barely audible, as if you were afraid to even speak right now for her sake, your gaze never leaving the road again as you swerved a little to the right to allow another stray car to pass by peacefully - this was nothing like how you’d drive, if you were alone, that much you knew, above anything else right now.

“Yeah, you?” She called over the incoming wind, and you would appear taken aback by the question; you still weren’t used to someone else actually caring about you, you guessed.

“Yeah, I - I’m-” Your voice cracked for a brief moment, and you couldn’t help, but curse yourself for being so pathetic around her. “I’m okay,” you managed, eventually, and she would smile softly down at you, evidently glad to hear that as you’d been quiet for most of the ride, now, just too focused on trying to protect her to the point that it was unnatural; obsessive, to others, most likely, but you didn’t care; you couldn’t take any risk that could cause her demise.

“Good,” she replied gently, almost in a voice close to a whisper as if she were still afraid of what you’d think, if you heard her response, though she wasn’t sure why, all these new feelings leaving her with a headache due to the conflict going on between the two sides of both her heart, and mind. She clung on a little tighter to you to subconsciously provide comfort to herself, as well as you; she’d never seen you this quiet before, finding herself even missing your voice as another few minutes passed, with you not daring to muster up another word to her, even if it was just to ask her if she were okay; ask her if she liked the view; all the lights; the glittering stars above you both. “I’ve never seen you this focused before,” she admitted, and for a moment you faltered, swerving a little before you tightened your grip again, and re-centred your motorbike, but she wasn’t scared, only secretly glad that she’d achieved a reaction out of you the way she could tell that she had; you’d been so firm all this time, only now to let that foundation break if only just for a second the way it had, “you’re committed.”

You subconsciously grimaced, but tried not to let it get to you, though you knew she meant well, and in part, it was true; you were committed to protecting her, but just her, as well as the last few presences on the earth who had actually treated you right, but you couldn’t feel the same way toward the rest of the souls you’d met, so far, even though you’d only been alive for a few years, now.

“I guess,” you replied, and she would raise her eyebrows, wondering why you seemed to tense up beneath her touch only now, but she didn’t blame you, knowing you’d been through what nobody should have to go through at such a young age, your parents fighting all the time the way that they were, before they divorced, and your father started drinking - if only she knew about the kidnapping, too, before she continued; the kidnapping had always been the thing that especially provoked you the way it did, whether it broke you down to be reminded of what had been done to you, or it made you reckless; drove you to drink, yourself, or even suicide attempts, direct, or indirect on a count of reckless driving, or substance abuse - it just made you ache and burn in overwhelming ways that you couldn’t ignore everything it made you want to do, whenever you were reminded of what happened the nights you spent crying and screaming for someone to help, only for help to come when so much of you had already been broken inside, mentally and physically. You never intended to bring her into your pain; to get her involved with any of it, but something switched within you, and it always got to a point that you couldn’t hold anything back anymore - not until it was already too late for you to do so.

🜸

“You are,” Regina insisted, smiling subconsciously over at you as she admired your facial features without even realising that she was doing so, “you just don’t wanna admit it, right? The world, even if it hurt you; you wanna stay committed to it, somehow, in whatever way that you can-”

“I could never commit to something that never did anything good for me,” you uttered, and she would appear taken aback, a pained expression on her face as she nodded gravely, and regretted bringing it up in more ways than one, your eyes darkening as you scowled ahead of you, before slowly revving up your motorcycle, bringing it to accelerate even more as she winced, clinging onto you even more whilst you proceeded to turn another corner sharply, narrowly avoiding an approaching car.

“Y/n-”

“You wanna know how I feel about the world?” You questioned, and she would falter, finally appearing worried now as you accelerated even more somehow, something she never thought you would do considering you’d been so careful, up until this moment in time. “This is how I feel,” you spat, sharply revving the motorbike again as you leaned even further forward, and before Regina could even react; could even try and talk you out of what you were doing again, she noticed the broken fence you were both approaching, leaving open a dangerously close cliff-edge, and she knew what you were intending on doing more than you yourself even did.

“Shit,” she managed, first, before returning her widened gaze to you; her eyes full of nothing, but sheer dread as she gently shook you, desperate to try and stop you from continuing the way that you were, “Y/n, stop! You - You can’t do this; you’ll kill us-”

“We all fucking burn in the end,” you interjected sharply, your voice more dangerous and firm than she’d ever heard it before, but she never let go of you, regardless of what you were directing her as well as yourself toward right now, but before you could drive the motorcycle beyond the broken fence, you quickly swerved it a few paces before to the side, just about stopping the two of you before the wheel could go over, a pained expression crossing your face whilst Regina breathed heavy, and fast; she’d never been this scared, before - well, scared, and elated; only you had done things to have an effect such as this on her, and for some reason unbeknownst to her, she never wanted it to stop. “Get off,” you uttered, just as she made to say ‘I’, surprising her, as well as dejecting her as she subconsciously shook her head, and made to protest, only for you to continue in an even sharper voice, making her heart ache even more somehow, “get. Off, Regina.”

She couldn’t help, but scowl over at you, before nodding, and forcing herself to let go of you so she could dismount your motorbike, no matter how much her heart longed to remain close to your’s. She knew she should hate you, right now, but it was the sadness in your eyes that made her falter, her heart aching silently alongside your own - she couldn’t hate you; she just couldn’t, she cared about you too much to, maybe even loved you too much to, not that she knew what that meant yet; whether she loved you just as a friend, or as something more.

She drew in a barely audible shaky breath, still trying to recompose herself as she inched closer to you, and hugged herself, trying not to show that it was hurting her - how you were treating her, now, as if she meant nothing to you even after all that you’d both already been through together, recently.

“Y/n-”

“I can’t,” you murmured weakly, and she felt even worse when she heard your voice cracking, “I - I just-.. can’t, okay? I need to go-”

Her eyes widened again as she hastily shook her head; she couldn’t believe you’d just leave her there, without any explanation at all as to why you’d reacted to her assumption the way you did.

“But-”

“Reg, please-”

“You can’t just leave me here, Y/n,” she retorted, and quickly blocked your way before you could move your motorcycle anymore than you already had, a brief moment ago, now, “I need you; you’re the one who brought me here, remember?”

“You can walk, can’t you?” You reminded her harshly, but wished - as soon as the words had slipped from your lips - you could take them all back, your heart aching excruciatingly as you bowed your head, small tears threatening to cloud your vision. “You don’t need me to take you anywhere-”

“I do,” she contradicted, and you would sigh heavily, before bowing your head a little, knowing you should at least try and make something up to her, after what you’d already said to hurt her without even intentionally doing so the way you had.

“Then-.. let me make it up to you, at least,” you requested, evidently nervous as you fidgeted with your fingers subconsciously, your eyes full of worry as well as guilt behind your helmet, “please?”

Regina hesitated, not sure what to do, now - a part of her wanted nothing more, than to say ‘yes’, whilst another made her feel as if she should just go back home; give you some space, after what had happened a brief moment ago, but whenever she had such thoughts a cloud seemed to pass over her entire being, leaving her feeling empty and dejected inside - she hated being away from you, but she knew as well that she should get back, really, to avoid worrying her mother; during the journey, she felt that her phone was buzzing repeatedly, and she forgot until now that she’d promised she’d be back in time for dinner, and it had almost been a couple of hours or so passed that expectation.

“I don’t know-”

“Reg-”

“I want to go home, Y/n,” she decided, begrudgingly, and you would fall quiet, your frame drooping a little subconsciously in response to her interjection, but you couldn’t blame her - you’d probably hate you, too, if you were in her position, right now. “Not back to your Uncle’s ranch; not back onto any other road we haven’t been on - I want to go home,” she repeated, “my home, okay? Can you do that, without almost killing us both, or-?”

“Okay,” you answered, after swallowing painfully, but the lump in your throat didn’t go away, and Regina would reluctantly avert her gaze, a pained expression on her face as she climbed back up onto your motorcycle, before making to put her helmet back on, “I’m not a monster, by the way.”

Your words took her aback as she stopped what she was doing, for a moment, subconsciously lowering the helmet as she glanced up at you, her eyes full of the guilt as well as concern that she was currently feeling for you, right now; she’d never intended to make you feel that way, about yourself, especially not after all that you’d been through, ever since you were born a few years back - not when she thought the complete opposite about you, without you even knowing that she did, and had ever since she’d first met you, not too long ago, now.

“I know,” she reassured you gently, but you couldn’t let it go; couldn’t give in, not without her knowing that you never meant to hurt her, and never could; that you loved her too much to; that no matter what the future held for you, you could never let your past change you in a way that threatened her life, the way you almost had shortly after the ride had begun, not too long ago, now.

“I mean it, Reg, I - I’m not-”

“You don’t need to prove anything to me, Y/n,” she cooed, lifting her right hand up to your right shoulder, prompting you to falter, and fall quiet instantly as you revelled in her touch, smiling softly as you glanced down upon her hand holding your shoulder, making you feel warm and fuzzy all over again as if the pain had never been there in the first place, just because she was there with you, and holding you again the way you loved to feel her doing so, and had ever since you’d first met her a few months ago, now, or was it longer? You hardly had any sense of time anymore, now that she was with you. You tried not to sigh, more relaxed than you’d ever been before, until she withdrew her hand, and you began to feel empty again, trying desperately to cling onto the feeling, before she continued gently, soothing you all the more whilst she put her helmet back on again. “You know that, right?” She asked, wanting to hear you tell her that you did, and you would hesitate, glancing back at her timidly for a moment, before you smiled faintly, and nodded, trying to appear firm and confident again to reassure her further as you recomposed yourself, before answering in a makeshift stronger voice simply the word ‘yes’, prompting her to smile warmly back at you, glad, before she returned her arms around your waist, mustered up a sleepy ‘good’, and you began to rev up the motorcycle again - if you wanted to get her home to a not-so-furious scolding from her mother, you better do so quickly, right?

🜚

As soon as you pulled into her mother’s driveway, you began to feel empty again, knowing you’d both soon be departing from each other for the day. You smiled sadly back at her, before pulling off your helmet, and helping her off of your motorcycle.

“H-Hey, do you - can - can I walk you to your door?” You inquired, and she would appear taken aback, as well as a little flustered by your request, her eyes glinting a little whilst blood rushed up to her cheeks for a reason unbeknownst to her - she assumed it was just because it was cold again, but it terrified her to know that she was lying to herself, somewhere deep inside her; the part of her she didn’t like to show too often, until recently, after the bus had hit her last year.

“Er,” she began awkwardly, finding she couldn’t meet your gaze for a moment, whilst you tensed up and waited anxiously for her response before her, “sure, I - I don’t see why not, so.. yeah, c’mon.”

You appeared relieved, your eyes brightening up again as you smiled sheepishly over at her.

“Okay!” You replied, maybe a little too brightly, before you timidly offered her your right hand, prompting her heart to skip a beat, before she accepted your hand, and smiled softly over at you, trying not to appear dazed as soon as she felt the electricity passing between your and her hand, through both your and her arm, not even stopping as you began to walk slowly side-by-side, not wanting this moment to end for the world, but she guessed that was a luxury neither of you would ever be able to achieve, considering the way things had been ever since you both had been born, a few years ago, now. Time doesn’t stop for anyone. You frowned, averting your gaze down to the ground for a moment as your eyes darkened, and heart sank alongside her own as soon as you both had reached her door. “So,” you began begrudgingly, before turning to face her, and managing a faint smile back at her whilst she gently squeezed your hand in an attempt to provide comfort to you as well as herself.

“I guess we should-”

“There you are!” Another voice sounded out after the door began to open, prompting Regina to wince, before she hastily withdrew her hand from your own, prompting your heart to sink even more as you hastily looked away, and awkwardly shuffled upon the spot. “What did I tell you about dinner, and going out late, young lady?” Mrs George questioned - at least you assumed it was her mother; you’d seen her a few times before with Regina, but you’d never really spoken to her before, and certainly had never been this close to her before, making you feel awkward as she’d probably never seen you and her daughter together like she had her other friends.

“Jesus, mom, it’s only been a few hours since I left-”

“You left school at three, and it’s now-” She glanced down at her watch, before hastily returning her gaze to Regina. “Seven in the evening, almost eight - where have you been?” She questioned, and she would have continued, certainly appearing as if she were about to, before her gaze fell upon you, and she would wince, managing to smile awkwardly as well as apologetically over at you. “Sorry, I didn’t see you there,” she mused, before appearing a little puzzled as she looked you over, realising that she’d never really seen you before, until now, and didn’t know you as well as she did the others, “er - Regina, honey, is this one of your friends?”

“Y-Yeah,” she answered, trying to disguise the pause with a faint cough; she wasn’t sure why it felt strange to call you her ‘friend’, as well as why it flooded her with guilt a little to notice the pained expression on your face in response to her description of you, “she is; you’ve not met her before, but-.. she’s one of the other stable hands at that riding centre near here; her Uncle’s the owner of the place.”

“Is that right? Well, it’s nice to meet you, erm,” her mother paused for a moment, awkwardly holding her hand out for a moment, “sorry, I didn’t catch your name?”

“Y/n,” you managed, your voice faint, and close to a whisper; you were evidently nervous, “Y/n L/n.”

Mrs. George smiled warmly over at you, and you would hesitantly shake her hand, smiling awkwardly back at her, before you averted your gaze once the hand-shake was over, evidently afraid of doing or saying something wrong if you stayed any longer than you already had, now.

“Do you go to Northshore, too, sweetie?” She inquired, and you would tense up, realising she was talking to you again, before you nodded, awkwardly looking over at Regina as if you were afraid that that was the wrong answer, though it was far from being something wrong when you were going to Northshore alongside her, after you’d been kicked out of your last high school.

“Yeah, she - she does, she - she’s also starting senior year,” Regina explained, and Mrs. George would appear surprised; she couldn’t believe she’d never noticed you before, if you were starting senior year here the way you were said to be doing so, “she moved here, from another school - t-that’s why you, y’know-..”

“Right,” Mrs. George replied, things making at least somewhat more sense to her, now, before she seemed to remember something, and secretly winked over at Regina for a reason unbeknownst to her, prompting her daughter to wince, and appear a little flustered again, looking away before either of you could tell that such an effect was currently being had on her, right now, because of her mother’s evident assumption, “hey, would you like to stay for dinner? There’s a lot left, because missy here said there would be company joining us tonight, until none of them showed up - you’re very welcome to!”

You hesitated, not sure, as you awkwardly stepped back, and smiled apologetically back at Regina’s mother; you weren’t sure you were ready for doing anything like that, yet - social company that didn’t involve you and Regina being alone together wasn’t something you were used to, or much comfortable with, even if Mrs. George seemed to be keen on having you stay the way that she was, for Regina’s sake as much as her own; she just wanted to see Regina happy again considering all the fights she’d been having with Shane recently, and by the looks of things she could see that you seemed to have a certain effect on her daughter that she found hopeful, as well as actually kind of adorable - you seemed to naturally click together, and she wanted to keep that going, somehow, hoping it would prompt Regina to drop Shane, somehow, whether it led to you both being anymore than you were, now, or it just kept you being close friends the way that she could tell you currently were.

“I’d love to, b-but-”

“She’s gotta get back and help her Uncle with the horses,” Regina answered, seeing that you were struggling, prompting you to express relief, before you smiled faintly back at her mother again whilst Mrs. George appeared a little disappointed, before nodding gravely, and returning a reassuring smile back at you, only relaxing you even further as you warily glanced back toward the motorbike, and fidgeted a little with your helmet.

“Right, sorry,” her mother responded gently, “I’ll let you get on with that, then, but if you ever want to come back and stay for a bit, you know where we are, right?”

“Right,” you reassured her, before timidly smiling back at the both of them, “thank you, Mrs. George - see you tomorrow, Reg.”

“See you,” she returned a little dismally, before you pushed yourself to begin walking back toward your motorbike, whilst Mrs. George appeared skeptical, mouthing ‘Reg’ as a question to her daughter, but Regina wouldn’t acknowledge her, slipping by her mother into the house once you’d begun to pull out of their driveway, but it wasn’t long before you’d hear her voice again, shortly after you’d got back, and were trying to get to sleep - not long at all.

🜚

“What was that?” Mrs. George inquired, after closing the door, and Regina would wince, reluctantly looking back at her as she stopped upon the first stop of their home’s staircase up to the second floor.

“Nothing,” she answered, but her mother didn’t seem convinced, worrying her a little as she looked away after rolling her eyes, “it was nothing, I swear; she’s a friend, mom - that’s all there is to it-”

“You know it’s okay, right?” She continued, gentler, this time, and Regina would falter, glancing back at her with a pained as well as puzzled expression on her face.

“Mom-”

“You can have feelings for her,” she clarified, resting her hands upon her daughter’s shoulders reassuringly, “it’s normal - I’m not judging you, at all, so tell me - do you like her, or-?”

“C-Can we not do this, right now?” Regina requested, avoiding her mother’s gaze, but Mrs. George knew better than to just give in.

“Just tell me, okay? If ever you-.. do start feeling anything for her,” she requested, and Regina would sigh, before she nodded gravely, and awkwardly shuffled upon the spot, “you know I have all the tricks you need to know, about winning who you want to be with; I used to be quite the popular flirt, myself-”

“Gross, but okay,” she replied, unable to stop a soft smile from tugging at the corners of her lips as she looked back up at her mother, prompting her to smile back at her; she liked seeing her daughter happy the way she was, now - it had been a little while since things had been like this between them both, after she’d got with Shane last year, “I’ll tell you.”

“Thank you,” Mrs. George responded exasperatedly, glad, above anything else, that she’d got through to Regina the way she could tell that she had.

“But,” Regina continued, worrying her mother again as she appeared to tense up, “I’m still with Shane, and I’m happy, so-”

“You’re happy? Really? Happy is not what I’m seeing from you when you’re with him, Regina-”

“Then that’s your opinion,” her daughter interjected sharply, “not mine - just-.. stay out of my business, okay? Please?”

Mrs. George frowned, shaking her head subconsciously, but Regina was already turning away from her even as she made to continue:

“Honey-”

“I’m going to bed,” she stated, and her mother would sigh behind her, before nodding gravely; she knew she’d never be able to change her mind about Shane; she’d have to do it herself, somehow; have to realise herself that he wasn’t any good for her, like she had thought he might be last year, until now; until the fighting had started the way it did, faster than she’d ever expected it to.

“Okay, but-.. next time, let me know when you’re going to be coming home late, okay?” Mrs. George called, and Regina would grunt, not bothering to respond as she disappeared into her room, and locked the door behind her.

🜚

It wasn’t long that you were plunged into a nightmare, after you fell asleep, crying and shaking uncontrollably whilst you clung to your duvet, your Uncle trying to soothe you as you struggled within his arms once he’d managed to get them around you, no matter how much you thrashed and cried out for help, thinking you were being taken by the man who had kidnapped and abused you again.

“You’re okay,” he cooed gently, his voice briefly shaking as he held you close, and you continued to cry, shaking your head rapidly as you mustered up things barely audible, before Regina’s name shakily slipped from your lips, “it’s okay.”

“Let go!” You cried, desperate to get away from him, and to find Regina again, afraid of what might happen to her, though the man who had kidnapped you was already in jail for what he’d done, and had been locked up for a few years now already - there was no way he was getting out, any time soon. “Please,” you begged, “I - I can’t - let me go! I need her! I - I need to hear her, please; let me see her, before he hurts her, too, please!”

“She’s okay,” he reassured hastily, “everything’s okay - he isn’t here, Y/n, you’re safe! He’s never coming back-”

“Stop!” You continued weakly, before you struggled out of his embrace, and lunged yourself off of the bed, before grabbing your phone, and surprising him by retrieving a pen-knife you’d been hiding under your bed in case anyone ever tried hurting you again like your kidnapper had years ago.

He faltered, hastily shaking his head whilst he drew back, and lifted his hands up in surrender, not wanting you to think he was going to force you to do anything - even he knew that it was smart not to continue trying to stop you when you were in a state like this, enough to prompt you to threaten him even if he was trying to help you, but he knew it was difficult for you; knew that you’d not recovered yet; that you were still stuck thinking right now that you were trapped within some form of that nightmare, even if it were over, now, and would hopefully never happen to you again, no matter what the future held for you, after today.

“Woah now,” he began slowly, “it’s okay - I’m staying over here, okay? I’m not gonna do anything; I’m not like him, you know I’m not, just don’t do anything stupid, okay?”

“I just wanna hear her,” you admitted shakily, your voice cracking as you did, and his expression would soften, before he nodded gravely.

“Okay,” he replied gently, “then call her, see if she’s awake, but-.. if she’s not-”

“Don’t,” you spat weakly; sharply, and he would fall quiet again, “don’t you dare - I won’t let him take her; she will answer, and if she doesn’t-”

“She’s safe,” he reassured you again gently, “just try, and you’ll see, I promise.”

You hesitated, evidently nervous, before you began to shakily unlock your phone, allowing you to bring up your messages, alongside her number, but as soon as you noticed the phone symbol in the corner of the screen, you hastily pressed your finger down upon it, and waited anxiously for her to answer the call.

🜸

By the time you’d called her, she was already awake, struggling to sleep; tossing and turning, until she heard her phone buzzing, dragging her out of her thoughts regarding you, and what her mother had told her regarding your and her relationship. It rattled her more than anything else ever had before. She hastily sat up, grabbing her phone in the process of doing so, before she faltered, and tensed up a little upon noticing your name on her screen.

She didn’t hesitate, sliding with her finger to accept the call, before she shakily held her phone up to her ear, almost regretting doing so as soon as it had been done.

🜸

All she heard at first, was you sniffling barely audibly on the other side of the phone, prompting her heart to ache excruciatingly as soon as she realised that you were crying, for a reason unbeknownst to her. You couldn’t speak, at first, your hand shaking at your right ear whilst your Uncle watched you quietly; cautiously - he still didn’t know what to make of the situation, right now, with you still holding the pen-knife.

“Regina?” You managed, your voice briefly trembling, barely audible, and she sucked in a sharp breath subconsciously, her heart skipping a beat as soon as she heard your voice.

“Y/n?” She replied, and you would express relief, evidently glad to hear that she was okay; still there, and hopefully not in the clutches of the man who had kidnapped you the way he did, a few years ago, now. “Are you - Are you okay? What - What’s wrong?” She questioned, sitting up even further in her bed as she even shuffled toward the edge of it, as if she were deciding whether she should go back to your Uncle’s ranch to check on you, and make sure that you were okay; she didn’t like the idea of you being alone, whilst you were like this, evidently not knowing that your Uncle was with you in the room right now, you holding a pen-knife at him as if you still thought he were about to hurt you, or try and stop you from protecting her somehow when he could never do anything like that to you, especially not when he’d made a vow to protect you to your mother, before she’d left after the divorce.

You frowned, wrapping your left arm around your legs as you shuffled even further back against the wall, your eyes glistening as you tried to find the right words to say, your bottom lip shaking whilst your throat felt as if it were burning; sore from crying, and screaming the way that you were, a brief moment ago, before your Uncle had let you go to call her like you were, now.

“I - I’m,” you began feebly, your words stumbling over themselves, “I’m sorry-”

“Y/n,” your Uncle began gently, but you wouldn’t listen to him, hastily shaking your head; you didn’t want to be told that it wasn’t your fault; that none of this was, because you knew that things could have been different; you knew that maybe you could have done something to fix this; to fix everything that happened; to fix yourself even after all that had been done to you, before.

“I should never have-.. I-” You faltered again, struggling to hold yourself together as your face crumpled, and you began to cry again, your grip on your phone tightening. “I’m sorry, okay? I really am, I-”

“Y/n, stop-” Your Uncle continued, but you would move away before he could inch any closer than he had, despite you still holding the pen-knife in front of you as soon as he’d made to move again like he had.

“The - The truth is,” you began again, trying not to allow your voice to shake anymore than it already had, by briefly biting down upon your tongue, even as you began to taste blood, and tears continued to leak out of your already red and sore eyes, “I like you, Reg, more - more than I had planned to, and I-.. I’m so-..” Regina didn’t know what to say, her heart silently breaking alongside your own as she listened to you trying, and struggling to hold everything within you together, just to try and stay strong for her, though she still didn’t know what had prompted you to react the way that you were; to call her, instead of anyone else, during times like these that you were at your weakest; she’d never heard you like this before. “Look, I-.. if - if he takes me today; y-you don’t know him, but-.. if he takes me,” you continued, a little more urgently now, your voice trembling even more whilst your hand began to shake again, your heart pounding, “don’t look for me, don’t even ask for me, don’t-.. don’t even-.. please, just forget about me, okay? Please? Will you?”

“What? Y/n, what - what are you talking about?” She questioned, evidently getting nervous, now, her eyes full of the concern she was currently holding for you, whilst her own heart began to pound uncomfortably within her chest. “Y/n-”

“I’m sorry,” you repeated a little weaker, “I-.. just don’t let him get you, too.”

“That’s enough, Y/n,” your Uncle continued, before he hastily got off of the bed, before taking the phone from you before you could even try and take it back from him, wanting to hear her voice just for one short moment longer, even if you really were safe right now, and weren’t still trapped within the nightmare you’d been plunged into not too long ago, now, “c’mon-”

“No!” You cried, but he held the phone away from you, carefully pinning you down upon the ground before you could scratch at him using the pen-knife; he knew that it was a hard situation for Regina to be in, too, not knowing about what had happened to you regarding you being kidnapped the way you were, and he knew he shouldn’t let it continue for as long as it was, so instead of giving the phone up to you, he put it up to his own right ear, before saying goodnight, as well as apologising to Regina, and ending the call, but she couldn’t let what she’d heard go, shaking her head as soon as she noticed the call had been ended, before she got up, and rushed down the stairs.

🜸

“You can’t do this!” You cried, desperate to call her again, but still he wouldn’t let you have the phone back, keeping it in the pocket of his jacket; he often stayed up late, keeping watch of the horses if they were particularly loud, and that was what he had been doing, before he’d heard you screaming and crying upstairs. “I have to call her again, please!” You begged, struggling against his hold as he removed the pen-knife from your left hand, before carefully picking you up off of the ground; you needed to relax, somehow, as he carefully laid you back down upon his bed, before taking up a bottle of sleep medication that tended to help you sometimes, on nights like these. “If I lose her, I-”

“You won’t lose her,” he cooed, as he carefully encouraged you to take the pill, before offering you the glass of water he’d got you earlier - this was often a common occurrence, at night; he liked to be prepared for you if ever you needed more of your medication or for him to stay with you until you fell asleep again after being plunged into a nightmare like the one you’d just had not too long ago, now. “She’s always gonna be here for you, I promise,” he added gently, “no matter what - I can tell, I just-.. I’m worried about - about what she’ll think, if she-.. if she knows, about what happened to you; she doesn’t know yet, remember? She doesn’t even know about the divorce, does she?”

“She does,” you contradicted a little sleepily, your voice quieter than it was, before; the pill was already taking effect, it seemed, as you subconsciously snuggled a little into your duvet whilst your Uncle sat on the edge of the bed beside you, “I-.. I told her. I-.. I don’t know why, I just-.. I-”

“It’s okay,” he reassured you, smiling softly down at you, “I understand.” He sighed, before laying down beside you whilst you stared up at the ceiling, your eyelids growing a little heavier than they were, before. “Try and get some sleep, okay?” He encouraged, and you would hesitate, before nodding slowly, though it was a struggle to focus anymore; struggle to quiet your mind, when all you could think about was how you hoped Regina was safe, even though you had been brought back to reality by now.

🜸

Regina didn’t waste any time getting downstairs, her heart pounding overwhelmingly whilst she made to grab her coat from the hanger, but before she could open the door after swiftly retrieving her car keys, her mother came out of the kitchen, startling her as she jumped, and leaned heavily against the door for a moment after Mrs. George had tiredly said her daughter’s name to her right.

“Mom?” She managed, her voice barely audible, and sounding as if she were still shaken up after what had happened, earlier. “W-What are you-”

“I should be asking you the same thing,” Mrs. George interrupted suspiciously, and Regina would wince, hastily bowing her head as a lump began to form within her throat again - she couldn’t let her mother stop her from seeing you, after you’d called her the way that you did, all broken up and sounding more scared than she’d ever heard you before, only making her heart ache even more excruciatingly than it ever had before. “What are you doing, missy?” She questioned, but before Regina could muster up a response, her mother continued, and she found herself struggling not to cry, as she bowed her head, and blinked her tears back whilst her mother surveyed her curiously all the while, wondering if Shane had fought with her again, before she’d rushed down the stairs the way she had, phone loosely in her right hand. “Don’t tell me, it’s Shane, isn’t it? He upset you again-”

“It’s Y/n,” Regina managed, her voice briefly trembling, and her mother’s expression would soften as soon as she heard the pain in her daughter’s voice, no matter how much she tried to hide that she was struggling, the way she currently was, after you’d called her a brief moment ago, “she-.. she’s-”

“Oh, honey,” her mother cooed sympathetically as soon as Regina found herself breaking down, unable to fight back her emotions any longer as she collapsed into Mrs. George’s arms, crying quietly into her left shoulder in a strained manner, as if she were still trying to hold the tears and sobs back, somehow, after they’d managed to escape her the way they had, a brief moment ago, now, “it’s okay - you’re okay; everything’s okay, you can tell me - what’s wrong with Y/n? Did you guys have a fight, or-? Or is she-?” Mrs. George appeared worried as she held her daughter at arms length, her eyes a little wider than they were, before. “God, no, she isn’t hurt, or - or even dead, is she? Talk to me, Regina, you’re scaring me-”

“I can’t stay here,” Regina managed, a little more firmly, though her voice still shook for a brief moment, as she withdrew from her mother’s embrace, even stepping back as Mrs. George drew closer to her again, “she needs me-”

“But it’s late, sweetie-”

“You used to be okay with late nights,” Regina reminded her exasperatedly, desperate to get to you as fast as she possibly could, so she could make sure that you were okay; she hated that she weren’t with you right now, especially when you sounded so scared, before, “please, mom, let me go to her, please!”

Mrs. George sighed, before nodding gravely, and averting her gaze for a brief moment as she thought about what she could do to keep her daughter safe in the process, afraid of what accidents she could get into in a state like this, but she tried her best not to conjure up subconsciously any images in her mind of a car accident waiting to happen. She’d have to go with her, if she wanted to protect her the way she did, and had ever since she had first been born, a few years ago, now.

“Fine, you can go, but I’m not letting you go alone,” she decided, before Regina could slip through the front door the way she’d been making to, just as her mother had made to continue.

She groaned, evidently displeased by her mother’s choice, but before she could complain, Mrs. George took the car keys from her, only annoying her even more.

“What? But-”

“And I’m driving, missy,” Mrs. George continued, before slipping by her daughter to open the door, “so are we doing this, or not?”

🜚

The drive felt longer than it ever had before, like a million lifetimes were going by, and they still hadn’t got to his ranch yet though it was quite close by to her mom’s house, as well as near to Northshore High School, but Regina didn’t want to think about how she’d have to go back there tomorrow right now - not when she was still worried about you, the way that she currently was, and had been ever since you’d called her the way you did.

“You okay back there, hon? You’re very quiet,” Mrs. George inquired, and Regina would hesitate, before nodding, and forcing a smile over at her mother through the rear view mirror, but she couldn’t get the smile to reach her eyes as she bowed her head again quickly, trying to hide that her smile dropped as fast as she’d brought it on. “Hey,” her mother continued gently, seeing that her daughter was still in pain, and definitely nothing short of worried about you, as she carefully reached her left hand behind her to gently and reassuringly squeeze Regina’s own, but it still shook a little once she let go; she couldn’t calm down; couldn’t stop her heart from pounding, and she hated it, but she couldn’t quite get herself to want to go home, not when they were both so close now to your Uncle’s ranch.

As soon as the driveway came into view, Regina sat up, her eyes a little wide as they surveyed the area, as if she were expecting to see blood stains, or weapons, or broken windows, only to find that the place seemed unscathed, prompting her to express relief, her heart instantly slowing down a little as she relaxed back into her seat just a bit, but she was still tense, telling herself that she wouldn’t be happy, until she saw that you were okay; still breathing, and not cold inside, as long as you were still here.

“Who’s there?” A familiar voice called out, and that was when Regina noticed that there was a figure approaching the car warily with a flashlight.

“This is the right place, isn’t it, sweetie?” Her mom asked, but Regina couldn’t bring herself to answer, hastily getting out of the car, before she rushed up to your Uncle, and couldn’t help, but shove him, assuming that maybe he had something to do with how scared you sounded, since he’d interrupted the call, before it was ended the way it suddenly was, earlier. “Regina!” Mrs. George called after her, running toward them both to wrap her arms around her daughter, attempting to pull her away, but Regina wouldn’t let her mother stop her.

“Where is she, and what have you done to her!?” She cried, and your Uncle would frown, shaking his head subconsciously, before he sighed, and looked warily back toward the house; he’d been expecting this, but wasn’t phased, as he smiled apologetically back at both of them.

“She’s inside,” he answered calmly, before his eyes darkened a little upon him realising he may have to tell Regina and her mother the truth, now that they were here, prompting him to appear slightly dejected in response to his own recollection of what had happened to you a few years ago, now.

He remembered all the sleepless nights, wondering when the police would call him back; when you’d be brought home, and it was painful - he himself still had nightmares about it, sometimes, and it filled him with a boiling hot rage to think about how long it had taken them to locate you; how your father had done nothing himself to help you, not even looking alongside the search party he’d put together for you, but he guessed that was in the past, now, and could never be changed - at least you’d finally been brought home; a little broken, but still alive, and home.

He sighed heavily, appearing tired, now; he’d been awake for a little while, after you’d woke up from the nightmare you’d been plunged into a little earlier, shaking him up slightly to the point he found he just couldn’t get anymore sleep, worried about how you might need him to comfort you again, at some point; he never wanted to not be there for you, when you needed him, especially not after you’d hardly been looked after by your father and mother, considering your mother was focused on getting away, whilst your father had been more content drinking than he was looking after you.

Even that made him scowl subconsciously down at the ground again; maybe if your father had been looking after you, you wouldn’t have been taken, and wouldn’t have to had gone through the abuse that you did at the hands of your kidnapper, years ago, now.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. L/n, I didn’t think she’d-”

“It’s fine,” he reassured, smiling feebly back at Regina’s mother, before he gesticulated toward the house, and switched off his flashlight, “come inside for a little while - it’s cold out, and-.. I feel I have some explaining to do for Ms. George, here, as well as you, but Y/n, she-.. she’s upstairs, sleeping, at least I think she is, and I’ll let you see her if you want, but-.. she needs rest, and most likely won’t wake up until the morning comes around, now - is that okay?”

Regina hesitated, before nodding slowly, and awkwardly shuffling on her feet - as long as she could see you, she was happy, so as soon as your Uncle turned to walk back into the house, she followed, her mother hot on her heels behind her.

🜚

“Sorry again, Ms George,” your Uncle began hesitantly, once they had all entered the house, and he had shut the front door to keep the wind out, “about the call.”

Regina’s mother would appear confused, looking between Regina and your Uncle as she tried to make sense of what was going on, right now, given that she hadn’t been around to hear the phone call between you and her daughter not too long ago, now.

“It’s fine,” Regina responded in a voice barely audible, cautiously watching him as he made his way over to the kitchen table, before awkwardly sitting down upon one of the chairs, looking as if his back were hurting him as he did; he’d never been quite so energetic after he’d been bucked off one of the horses, here, a little while ago, now, “but-.. why? Why was Y/n talking like that? Like she was about to get taken away, or - or even killed? You haven’t told us anything about that, yet-”

“In due time,” he reassured, before smiling apologetically over at Regina, and gesticulating for them to sit at the table with him, “first, maybe you should make yourselves comfortable for a little while, before I let anyone go up there and see her.”

Regina hesitated, at first, mostly because she didn’t want to waste anymore time when she could be going upstairs, and making sure that you were okay, right now, the way she wanted to ever since she’d got the call from you, in the first place.

“Regina, honey, let’s do as he says, okay?” Mrs. George encouraged, and Regina would roll her eyes, before nodding gravely, and moving toward the table before her mother could guide her toward it instead.

“Thank you, Mrs. George,” your Uncle replied, evidently grateful as he himself was struggling to keep up a strong front right now, considering what he knew he would be having to tell them both about you, soon, “this might be easier, sitting down, than it would be standing up - that’s why I thought this would be better, for all of us.” Regina couldn’t help, but scowl down at the table, as she fidgeted with her hands, desperate to get this over with so she could check on you, like he said she’d be able to earlier, before they all had gone inside to talk about what had happened, first. “Now that we’re here,” he began again slowly, in more of a strained manner, before forcing a smile up at them both, “I-..” He sighed, before standing up again, and making toward one of the countertops, Regina cautiously tracking his every move, though it did make her feel a little guilty, suspecting him of anything right now when he’d always been good to her, as well as you, whenever she was here, and not either at home, out with her other friends, or stuck at Northshore high. “Would anybody like a coffee, at all, or-?” He asked, and Mrs. George would practically jump on the idea, before she looked toward her daughter, only for her to continue protesting again; she wouldn’t accept anything, until she was allowed to see you.

“I’m fine,” she claimed dismissively, her mother frowning over at her, but she wouldn’t pay her any attention as your Uncle nodded patiently; respectfully, before he continued to the kettle to begin the process of making himself as well as Mrs. George a coffee - it was needed to keep them awake, of course, considering it was already so late, by now, for the two of them, whilst Regina’s energy was coming completely from her telling herself she wouldn’t do anything, until she was allowed to see you and make sure that you were okay, the way she feared you weren’t, alone right now, after you’d broken down over the phone the way you had still for a reason currently unbeknownst to her, during this moment in time.

“So, what - what happened with this call I’m only just hearing about?” Mrs. George inquired, and your Uncle would tense up, before warily looking back toward Regina and her mother.

“Y/n called me,” Regina answered, her voice a little dejected as she averted her gaze down to her hands again, “I thought you knew that-”

“No, I just - I didn’t know; I thought she messaged you, or something,” Mrs. George explained apologetically, as well as a little exasperatedly again, “I’m sorry, honey, but I didn’t - what happened on the call?”

“She was scared,” she replied again, a pained expression on her face as she had to try and swallow the lump forming within her throat again, “I could tell, she was - she-”

“She was taken, a few years ago,” your Uncle revealed, his voice barely audible, and both Regina and Mrs. George would fall quiet, looking over at him with wide eyes, before he sighed heavily, and brought over the two mugs to the table.

“Taken?” Regina managed, her heart feeling as if it were being squeezed for a moment as her voice threatened to tremble, your Uncle nodding gravely as he slowly sat back down opposite them, wrapping his hands around the mug as if he were seeking comfort from it, somehow - it was something he would forever and always hate having to talk about; hate having to even think about, or being reminded of, but he guessed some things were just doomed to stick with you forever, somehow.

“I guess she-.. well, it haunts the both of us, sometimes,” he admitted gravely, Regina and Mrs. George clinging to his every word, “you see, she was still quite small, when it happened; after the divorce, and her father had started drinking, she was alone a lot of the time, and this man, he-.. he broke into the house, the police said, and when he saw her..” Your Uncle faltered, his voice briefly trembling as he lifted his mug to his lips for a moment, needing something to try and help him hold himself together for them, as well as you; you needed him to stay strong now, more than ever, he believed, considering you were still being haunted by the man who’d taken you the way he did. “Well, he-.. you can imagine, what he did, right? It was a few days, at least, almost a week, or two,” he continued, after a little while he’d taken to recompose himself, knowing he had to continue at some point, feeling it was owed to Regina to know what had prompted you to break down the way you did, not too long ago, now, after the nightmare you’d had, “before the police found her - she hardly..” His voice broke again as he murmured a shaky and quick apology, secret tears clouding his vision, only making Regina feel worse for suspecting him a brief moment ago of hurting you and scaring you the way she feared he did earlier. “Let’s just say,” he managed after drawing in a sharp breath; another sip of his coffee, his head still partially bowed, “his voice, tonight, brought back memories for her, of dark rooms, and broken bones.” He sighed again, this time a little more strained as he smiled sadly up at the both of them, before bowing his head once more a little, feeling more small tears beginning to cloud his vision as he did, but neither of them dared say anything for a moment, until he continued. “It always does,” he added dejectedly, his voice close to a whisper, and Regina frowned as she started piecing things together, her eyes darkening whilst she did.

When she felt as if she could, she hastily lifted her head, leaning forward in her chair as she did, surprising her mother as she looked over at Regina, evidently startled by her previous moment beside her.

“Can I see her? Please?” She requested, her voice full of a new urgency; a more anxious desperation, and your Uncle would hesitate, before sighing again, and looking toward the staircase - he guess he did tell her that she could earlier, after all.

🜚

“She likes you, you know that, right?” Your Uncle stated, as he and Regina lingered by the door to your bedroom, a relieved, but still pained expression on her face as she looked over you to make sure that you were okay, now; that you weren’t scared anymore, or hadn’t somehow got yourself wounded in your previous bout of fright - you seemed okay, and it was only when she’d made such a determination that she could breathe again.

Regina hesitantly glanced up at him, though she didn’t like much the idea of looking away the way she just had, feeling as if she should to make it known that she was listening to him, just to avoid being disrespectful, especially considering he was your Uncle, only making her feel like - even more - she should treat him with respect, too, considering she could tell he’d always looked after you, as well as always been good to her ever since she’d joined the stable hand program earlier this year.

“She does?” She replied, her voice light, whilst a soft smile played on her lips - sometimes she got this weird feeling as if she were afraid that she might lose you, somehow, exactly like the one she’d experienced earlier, after the call had ended the way it did, and she couldn’t explain it; she just never wanted things to change; just wanted to stay here, with you, and the thought would fluster her a little as she winced, and hastily averted her gaze to try and hide that blood was rushing up to her cheeks for a reason unbeknownst to her, even as she was stood where she was right now, hardly able to keep her eyes off of your sleeping frame.

“She does,” your Uncle repeated, smiling warmly back at Regina as he rested his left hand upon her right shoulder - a silent thank you, until he could muster up a true one once he’d recomposed himself once more, still thinking about what that man had done to you years ago to the point it was unbearable; overwhelmingly excruciatingly, as well as frustrating, but he couldn’t let it get to him too long, not now, “and she hardly likes anyone - sometimes I’m not sure she even likes me, but I suppose I don’t blame her.”

“She likes you,” she reassured him gently, the words escaping her lips before she even knew that she was allowing them to; she didn’t want him to think that you thought bad things about him for what happened all those years ago, “I’ve seen what it’s like, Y/n not liking someone, and the way she is around you, is not that.”

“Is that so?” Your Uncle responded, and she could hear that he was smiling, making her feel a little better; warmer, and brighter, to know that she’d made him feel better, as he should considering he’d been the only one taking care of you even before your parents had divorced the way they did years ago, now. She hummed in agreement, certain of herself, and he would express relief, his eyes glinting a little as he smiled back at you, glad to see that you were sleeping peacefully, at the moment, whilst also being overjoyed to hear such words from Regina; he hated doubting that you at least trusted him after what had been done to you, but sometimes it just hit him - hard - and completely at random, but somehow he felt it wouldn’t happen anymore, now, or at least he hoped against hope that it wouldn’t, now that Regina had made such a revelation about you. “I’m glad,” he continued quietly; thoughtfully, before he turned to face her fully, and she would appear a little nervous, looking over at him again as she wondered what he may be about to say; whether he was about to kick her out, or about to leave you and her alone together, though she couldn’t imagine why either possibilities scared her as much as they seemed to, “but not just because of your kind words, Ms. George. You see, Y/n’s never really smiled, and didn’t talk as much as she does, now, and I think it’s because of you - that’s why I’m not only grateful for your words, and reassurance, but-.. I’m also grateful that-..” He fell quiet again, trying to stop his voice trembling for a moment whilst Regina smiled sympathetically over at him; she could see this was a struggle for him in more ways than one, after all he’d had to go through alongside you regarding your parents’ divorce, and then you disappearing shortly after it had taken place - if she were in his position, she herself didn’t know what she’d do, nor did she know if she’d even be able to fare if she had to go through what you had had to, even if it had been a while ago that you’d been taken the way you had, now. “Y/n,” he concluded gently, “I’m grateful she has you, above anything else - keep doing what you do, won’t you? Not only for me, but for you, and Y/n, too - you need each other, I can see that; we all need someone, don’t we?”

“I won’t disappoint you, nor will I ever let Y/n down, I promise,” Regina vowed, her voice firm, but still gentle, and close to a whisper; she herself feared breaking down somehow in front of him, as well as you, whilst another part of her was afraid of waking you up, and having you get scared again, “c-can I-..” She sighed, before awkwardly averting her gaze; it was difficult for her to get the words out, right now, though she wanted more than anything to stay here with you, at least just for tonight, so she could protect you, if only he’d let her. “I know this might be a lot for me to ask, but-.. can I-.. can I stay here, tonight, with - with her?” She managed, the question coming out faster than she thought it would, just because she was scared she would break down, or just start stammering again if she voiced it any slower, but your Uncle just smiled softly, a thoughtful look on his face, before he nodded slowly, prompting Regina’s eyes to glint, before she smiled sheepishly over at him, feeling lighter than she ever had before.

“Sure,” he answered simply, “I’m sure your mother wouldn’t mind, just - call me, if Y/n-.. y’know, has another nightmare, and I’ll take over for you, but I hope it doesn’t come to that.”

Regina would wince, before nodding hastily, and managing a quick as well as barely audible ‘will do’, before your Uncle left the room, and disappeared back down the stairs, leaving her alone in the room with you.

🜚

At first, she didn’t know what to do with herself, warily looking over at you again as she subconsciously fidgeted with her fingers, before she inched closer to you, and carefully sat down upon your bed beside you. You were so peaceful; so quiet, that she even subconsciously made sure that you were still breathing, worried for a moment that you’d stopped because you were so limp, but your chest was still rising and falling steadily. She smiled softly, before laying down beside you quietly, wanting to make sure that - by staying as close to you as she possibly could be - you were safe; that you weren’t being plagued by another nightmare, but it relieved her to see you so peaceful that you couldn’t be being tortured by your memories again - at least she hoped you weren’t, of course there was no way to be able to tell if you were, or weren’t in the process of being plunged into such a nightmare again.

“Y/n?” She cooed, wanting to make sure that you were asleep, and weren’t - also - pretending to be asleep to trick her at the same time, though she felt bad for asking, when she saw you so peaceful, the way that you were, now. It relieved her to not achieve a response from you, but at the same time it also pained her a little to know that she’d have to wait until morning to speak to you, as long as you didn’t awaken from a nightmare again before then.

🜸

“Your daughter,” your Uncle began, as he re-entered the kitchen where Mrs. George was currently sitting, still drinking her coffee whilst she anxiously waited for Regina to come back downstairs, clearly unaware of her daughter’s decision, during this moment in time, “she’s decided she wants to stay upstairs with Y/n, if that’s okay with you?”

She sat up, surprised, before setting her phone back down upon the table to turn toward your Uncle, whilst she tried to hide that she was slightly perturbed by this revelation, only because she’d not been expecting it, and had been keen to get home.

“Sure,” she replied, injecting at least some brightness into her voice; she knew how much you meant to her daughter, and she didn’t want to force Regina away from you, “why not?”

Your Uncle nodded, before smiling softly over at her, as he took his coat off of the hanger again, knowing he should make sure the horses were asleep, by now, before retiring for the night.

“Now that we both know about your daughter, and my niece,” he continued, as he took up his flashlight, “I figure maybe we should fully introduce ourselves, what do you say?”

Mrs. George appeared taken aback, evidently surprised by his suggestion, but she’d feel guilty if she turned it down, and didn’t see any particular reason as to why she should as she smiled warmly over at him, and got up out of her seat, before she held out her right hand, and said: “June.”

🜸

It didn’t take long for Regina to get comfortable, but almost as soon as she had, carefully wrapping her arms around you, you tensed up within her embrace, whimpering barely audibly as your eyelids began to flutter open a bit, though they were still heavy. Regina winced, hastily closing her eyes as if it would help her to pretend that she were asleep, but that didn’t stop you from carefully turning around within her arms.

“R-Reg?” You managed, your voice close to a whisper, and she would falter upon hearing your voice, hastily glancing over at you as she locked eyes with you for a moment, her heart skipping a beat.

“Hi,” she replied sleepily, unable to hold back a smile from you as you admired her subconsciously, your heart pounding alongside her own, “I - I’m sorry, I just wanted-.. I came to make sure you’re okay; that - that you’re happy - I was worried about you.”

You frowned, a pained expression on your face, before you looked away, and turned a little away from her, lying upon your back instead of your left side.

“You shouldn’t have been,” you responded dejectedly, “I-.. I shouldn’t have called you, I just-.. I - I wanted to hear your voice, and-.. and to-.. to tell you that I-.. that you mean a lot to me, a-and that if I got taken away, you should-..”

Regina shook her head subconsciously, before lifting her left hand up to your right cheek; she wasn’t sure why - it just felt right, and part of her wanted to feel how soft your cheeks looked.

“I could never forget you,” she stated, and you would falter, your head turning toward her own again, and for a moment you both just locked eyes again, your hearts beating as one; the air growing hotter between you both, and for a moment you wondered if you were floating, even as you glanced down at her lips, and she at your partially agape ones, until she finally leaned forward, and allowed her own to connect with your’s.

🜸

“You like horses, don’t you, June?” Cal - Your Uncle - asked Regina’s mother, as she surveyed them all peacefully, trying not to get too excited or skittish around them; she’d always liked horses - well, the ones that weren’t a few hands taller than her, which she often considered to be intimidating as well as scary, somehow, even with their hairy hooves and often calm demeanour.

“Sure, I like them,” she answered, as she warily tucked a stray piece of her hair behind her right ear. “It’s only the really big ones that make me feel uncomfortable,” she added, and Cal couldn’t help, but chuckle, before he stopped before Firenze’s stall, your Black Leopard Chimera Friesian, who appeared to currently be half asleep, if Felicity, your White Friesian wasn’t currently bothering him the way that she was.

“You wouldn’t like Y/n’s horses, then,” he stated, before gesticulating toward them whilst June cautiously watched him approach their stall doors - he only stopped briefly in front of Firenze’s, before passing toward Felicity’s, seeing he needed to try and relax her, somehow, for her makeshift sibling’s sake - they certainly acted as if they were siblings, squabbling the way that they did, whether they were of the same bloodline, or not.

June hesitated, not sure what to make of them as Felicity whinnied as well as snorted at Cal, before playfully trying to nibble at his fingers, just like she tended to try and do whenever you were around her, too. Firenze was certainly the calmer of the two, except from when you were out riding with him - as soon as you’re in the saddle, and out on the field with him, he tended to like bolting almost as much as Felicity did.

“I - I mean,” June began again quietly, trying to hide that she was a little nervous around them, as she inched closer to Felicity’s stall, being encouraged to by Cal as he stroked the mare’s mane, “they’re certainly - interesting looking horses.”

“Cross-bred, I fear,” Cal admitted sympathetically, “we decided at an auction to rescue them from whatever hell-hole they must have came from, before.”

“How very - considerate, of you,” June remarked, and Cal would hum softly in agreement, before smiling his thanks over at her.

“Well, it did start off as being Y/n’s idea,” he revealed, as Felicity tried to nibble at his fingers again, whilst Firenze surveyed the group peacefully, “but-..” He sighed, a pained expression crossing his face again as he looked away from June; a look similar to the one he’d been holding and trying to hide from them earlier, whilst he was telling her and her daughter about what had happened to you, a few years ago, now. “I remember she told me she wanted to rescue as many horses as she possibly could, when she was a little girl, and at the time of that auction these two were almost as small as she was - she took one look at them and knew something wasn’t right; I remember she tugged on my sleeve, and was almost crying when I turned to look at her, and she never got to see them growing from the foals that they were, into these two beauties, by the time she could come back - life kept her away from me, you see, with the divorce; her being taken..” He trailed off, his eyes darkening again as Felicity nuzzled at his hand, no longer making any attempt at all to nibble at his fingers the way that she was, before, sensing his sadness, as well as frustration at how he’d not been able to do anymore than he had tried to help you, before, but he guessed that that was years ago, now, and that he shouldn’t be dwelling on it anymore, but it was too hard to forget, and too easy to remember.

“I understand,” June expressed, smiling sadly at Cal as she leaned against the stall door beside him, Felicity eyeing her curiously, “it’s hard, losing the people you really care about.” Cal would nod gravely as he stared ahead of him thoughtfully, June tensing up a little beside him as she thought about how she’d actually miscarried, a few years after Regina had been born. “Regina had a little sister, named Kylie,” she began timidly, her voice barely audible as Cal surveyed her, listening to every word whilst Felicity seemed to grow a little more comfortable around June, her blue eyes trained on her, before they occasionally flickered to Cal, or even Firenze as he lightly snored in the stall beside her, “she didn’t get a chance, at life - I-.. I miscarried, when.. when I thought she’d survive.. I guess the doctors did warn me, but..” She drew in a shaky breath, and Cal would frown, trying to provide comfort to her by wrapping his arms around her, as she tried to continue, only to break down, and return the embrace, crying quietly into his left shoulder. “Regina, she - she doesn’t talk about her, but,” June managed shakily, her voice close to a feeble whisper, “I know she thinks about her, even if she tries to hide it from me; she was excited, too, at the idea of having a little sister - she really was, a-and I really tried; I swear I did, but-”

“There was nothing that you could have done, Mrs. George,” Cal reassured her gently, as he rubbed her back to try and soothe her even more, Felicity still looking on at them, “these things, they just-.. just seem to - happen, when you least expect, or want them to; life can be cruel, but love - I’ve learnt - love can be crueler.”

🜸

“Shit,” Regina whispered, after she pulled away, wincing as she silently cursed herself for losing control like she just had, allowing herself to kiss you, but it was hard for her to deny that it wasn’t something she’d been wanting to do, and feel for a while.

You frowned, feeling empty ever since the kiss had ended, and you couldn’t bear to see the pained expression on her face, as if she didn’t feel the butterflies fluttering within the depths of her stomach the way they were your’s, right now.

“You-.. You didn’t like it, did you?” You guessed, your voice barely audible as you stared over at her with dark eyes, prompting her heart to sink as she averted her gaze, subconsciously sitting up as she did beside you, only making you feel worse; you guessed you shouldn’t have expected anything more, or else to happen, when she kissed you the way she did, and you’d melted into her touch - you only wished that things that felt so perfect could hurt less, as the pain you were currently trying to hide from her was next to unbearable; excruciating, but it wasn’t something new to you, as you - too - forced yourself to look away, staring dejectedly up at the ceiling as she tried to recompose herself, her breathing pattern unnaturally staggered, and uneven, whilst her heart pounded overwhelmingly alongside your own.

“This is-.. I - I’m not-.. I-.. fuck-!” She concluded, finding she couldn’t quite get the right words out; she didn’t know how to feel, right now - the kiss she’d just shared with you was like no other that she’d ever been part of, before, and it terrified her. As soon as her lips had been against your’s, it was like the whole world just fell away; it was just you two, alone, as if you both were the last two people on earth; like she was a lit firework, desperate to soar even higher - it had filled her with energy; elation, to be with you like that; to have her lips brushing against your own, and it was hard more than anything else had ever been before, for her to not turn back around, and initiate an even deeper kiss. “I didn’t think-..” She continued weakly, as she forced herself up off of the bed, whilst you silently begged her with everything within you to stay. “I’m sorry, Y/n, okay?” She managed, noticing the worried as well as hurt look on your face whilst she lingered by your bedroom door, as if she were about to slip through it, and get away from you as fast as she possibly could, if only something wasn’t gluing her to where she was stood, right now, for a reason unbeknownst to her. “I can’t do this; I can’t stay; I can’t kiss you - I don’t know why I thought I could, o-or should, I just-.. you understand, right? T-There’s Shane, a-and this is all - this is all so confusing, I just-”

“It’s fine,” you reassured her gently, though she could hear in your voice the pain you were currently trying to harbour from her, “don’t worry about it, okay? I should-.. I should get back to sleep, but-..”

“Right,” Regina agreed, before wincing again, as if she’d forgotten so easily, after she’d allowed herself to kiss you the way she did, a brief moment ago; it was like she’d forgotten a lot of things, until the kiss had sadly been broken - something she couldn’t help, but hate herself for. “S-Sorry,” she added, her voice barely audible again, before she drew in a shaky breath, and you smiled sadly up at her. “I-.. I should-”

“Don’t let me keep you,” you stated, and she would frown, before nodding gravely, and bowing her head.

“I hope you sleep well,” she replied, and you would wince, doubting that you would, especially now, but you didn’t dare show her the pained expression on your face that would suggest otherwise, after you’d nodded and forced a smile again.

“You too,” you returned awkwardly, though your heart was aching excruciatingly still alongside her own, to the point that you wished you could just tear it out of your chest, and break it apart in your hands, before offering the remaining pieces to her, whether she wanted them, or not; you’d never stop dreaming of a life with her - that’s all you knew, now.

“Thanks,” she responded gently, trying not to allow her voice to tremble as she avoided eye contact with you for a moment, before bowing her head completely as she shuffled awkwardly on the spot, “w-well, goodnight, a-and I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, won’t I?”

The question felt more like a plead, and you couldn’t help, but surrender to it, your eyes widening a little, before you nodded hastily, not wanting her to think that you’d abandon her like that, though it didn’t sound like a bad idea to just try and get yourself to disappear, somehow, after what had just occurred between you both a brief moment ago, before this moment in time.

“I - I’ll be there, tomorrow,” you reassured, your voice briefly cracking, and she would express relief, before smiling her thanks to you, though all she could manage right now was a faint one, through the pain she was currently experiencing alongside you for a reason unbeknownst to her, “a-and here, after school, y’know, d-doing what I usually do, so-..”

“Good,” she mused thoughtfully; gratefully, “that’s - that’s good - I’m.. I’m glad, I-.. I’ll see you there, o-or here, I-..” She awkwardly cleared her throat, before managing another timid smile in your direction. “See you tomorrow, Y/n,” she concluded gently, before drawing in another strained breath, and dragging herself from the room.

🜸

“I think she likes you,” Cal stated, as Felicity whinnied at June, before allowing her to begin scratching at her left ear, all whilst she leaned into her touch, but before either of them could continue, Firenze seemed jealous, waking up shortly after in response to the commotion, before he got up off of the ground, and neither for Cal to stroke him, too, as well as his makeshift sister.

“You do?” June mused, subconsciously smiling over at him, not worried anymore that Felicity might nibble at her fingers the way she feared the mare would, before, seeing her all playful with Cal, earlier.

“Without a doubt,” Cal answered, “that’s unusual, for her, as well as her brother - they’re comfortable around me and Y/n, and understandably so, but around other people, except for you and your daughter, they seem-.. anxious - that’s why I only really allow myself or Y/n to ride them, outside of the arenas - well, only when there’s a lesson going on inside.”

“I see,” June responded thoughtfully, “so they’re that difficult, huh?”

“They can be,” he agreed hesitantly, “but not if you show them who’s the boss, as well as treat them with the respect that they deserve - isn’t that right, guys?”

“If only they had a better upbringing,” June mused sympathetically, and Cal would nod gravely beside her.

“They’ll get there, someday, I hope,” Cal continued gently, as he began stroking at Firenze’s left ear, “I have faith, Mrs. George, and faith is what will get us all through to where we need to go, in the end-”

“Mom? Mr. L/n?” Regina called, hugging herself as she walked toward the stable, shivering a little - the wind was picking up even more, somehow, since she’d left.

June would falter upon hearing her daughter’s voice, looking toward the double doors, whilst Cal seemed to tense up behind her, his eyes full of worry, as well as the concern he was currently holding for both you and Regina, wondering if you had had another nightmare, and that’s why she’d left all of a sudden, though he couldn’t imagine why the sleep medication would have worn off so fast, especially to enable you to be plunged into another nightmare like he assumed you had been, until Regina had rushed inside, looking shaken up, as well as a little guilty, her eyes dark, and hands barely visibly trembling at her sides.

June didn’t hesitate to - upon noticing the state her daughter was currently in - to rush over to Regina, before throwing her arms around her.

“What’s wrong, sweetie? You’re cold, we should get you inside before you get sick - is it Y/n?” She questioned, whilst Cal warily approached the both of them, Firenze and Felicity going back to squabbling rather than watching the group.

Regina didn’t know what to say, at first, hiding her face from the both of them as she neglected to return her mother’s embrace, finding herself unable to move for a moment as guilt positively consumed her; she wished she’d never left your side, now, especially the way she had, leaving you so dejected and confused, whilst she tried not to meet your Uncle’s worried gaze; she didn’t want to tell him what had happened; didn’t want to tell him that that was why she was leaving - that she was scared of how the kiss had made her feel, especially when she had been the one to initiate it in the first place.

So many questions were circling in her mind to the point that there had never been anything more overwhelming - whilst her mother tried to get answer after answer out of her, there were whispers of why she’d let herself kiss you, in the first place; whispers of why you’d returned the kiss, and - above all of them - why she had enjoyed it, more than she had ever enjoyed any other kiss she’d ever shared with anyone else.

“Is she okay?” Cal asked, and she only felt worse, hearing his voice briefly cracking; she’d never intended to worry him like that, remembering the promise she’d made him to never let you down, whilst she couldn’t help, but think about the day she’d found you having a panic attack within the stable, when you were least expecting yourself to.

She was meant to be mucking up with you again, at the time, as she rushed toward the stable, trudging through the mud that had formed after the rain had poured down heavily that day - the lessons had all been cancelled, because of it, she remembered being disappointed about, but she understood why. Only the stable hands were allowed to come by, and past the information point, but there weren’t many so it was quite quiet, but - in a way - she liked how quiet it was, mostly because she knew it would be rare, then, for anyone to come by and interrupt her incoming time with you, and the soft smile would probably never have left her face, if she didn’t hear someone sounding like you crying inside.

As soon as she heard you, her heart dropped, and smile faded as she lingered by the door for a moment, not sure what to do; why it hurt so much, to hear you like that, and she worried that maybe it would be intrusive of her to go inside, now, whilst you were in a state like that, but something pushed her to open the doors before she could even think to go and get your Uncle, instead. She had to see you; she didn’t want to leave you alone like that, and her legs took over for her, before her doubts could.

She appeared nervous, as well as concerned, her eyes darkening as soon as her gaze fell upon you, curled up, and crying against the back wall, a shovel laid down to your right beside you, only worrying her even more as she wondered if you’d somehow hurt yourself, or had fallen over whilst she was gone, as she rushed up to you, and crouched down beside you, her heart pounding alongside your own, faster than it ever had before.

“Y/n?” She strained out, her voice briefly trembling, and full of dread as she reached out to cradle your body close to her own, but you moved away before she could get any closer, evidently startled, and somehow scared of her for a reason unbeknownst to her, as if she were instead a figment of a horrible memory, rather than your friend, prompting her heart to sink and ache even further, as if it were being squeezed tightly within her chest at the very thought, of having you react to her in the way that you currently were, terrified of her, and shaking visibly against the wall.

The horses around you both seemed a little agitated, as well, upon seeing you in such a state, especially Firenze and Felicity as they looked on curiously at you both, their eyes also full of worry, whilst an occasional whinny came from their direction as if they were trying to get either you, or Regina’s attention

“G-Get away from me!” You cried, your voice close to a shaky whisper that might soon break down alongside you, as if everything within you was collapsing, somehow; your very core was being shaken by what you thought you’d seen, a brief moment ago.

Regina subconsciously shook her head, a hurt look on her face as she inched closer to you; she knew you didn’t mean it - that this wasn’t you seeing what was really in front of you. At the time, your Uncle had warned her of how you were liable to having panic attacks, but they weren’t very common, and were often easily rectified if ever in an emergency situation like if you ever had one during a riding lesson with the students your Uncle allowed into the place.

“Y/n, it’s me,” she cooed, her voice ever so gentle, and you would hesitate, before glancing up at her, your breathing slowing down as soon as your tearful and sore gaze fell upon her.

“R-Regina?” You managed, and she couldn’t help, but breathe a sigh of relief, her eyes glinting whilst a soft smile tugged at the corners of her lips again, brightening her up like a lighthouse would the ocean, and you couldn’t help, but get lost in her eyes, feeling safer around her than you ever had with anyone else before.

“You’re okay,” she continued, and you wouldn’t hesitate to collapse into her arms as she drew you close to her, once you allowed her to, and had recognised her to be - well, her, and not your kidnapper, all those years ago, “I promise - you’re safe here, and you always will be, no matter what.”

“I thought-..” You whispered feebly, your voice still shaking, whilst you tried to calm yourself down, focussing on her warmth to the best of her ability, rather than the picture of your kidnapper breaking into your room, a flashlight in his hand, whilst he held a crowbar in his other one. You drew in a shaky breath, clinging to her jacket tighter as you whimpered quietly, fighting back another strained sob to the best of your ability. “Him,” you managed again weakly, “I thought I saw him.”

You then winced, remembering she didn’t know about what had happened to you, before - well, she knew about everything regarding the divorce, but nothing about the kidnapping, so to speak.

“Him?” Regina mused, a pained expression on her face whilst you sniffled barely audibly against her left shoulder, not daring to glance up at her for fear of what she’d think of you; of what she’d achieve out of you - she had that kind of effect on you; the one that made you feel like you could tell her anything, and everything, and the truth was so close on your lips, but you couldn’t let it slip out; you never wanted to think, or even talk about it, ever again, if only your brain would allow you to forget it, forever, after today.

“My dad,” you managed, instead, trying to hide that it had relieved you, to be able to lie, like you just had, “I saw him - he - he was drinking again, he-.. he was shouting, a-and I-.. I-”

“It’s okay,” she reassured you again hastily, not wanting you to panic anymore than you already had as she lifted her right hand up to the back of your head, allowing her to stroke your hair, soothing you more than you thought possible as you drew in a barely audible breath again, and buried your face into the crook of her neck, prompting her to shudder a little, but she tried to hide that you’d flustered her as she pretended to cough, and you appeared a little dejected, closing your eyes tightly to try and fight back the remaining of your tears, “I’m here - I’m here, Y/n, a-and I’m always gonna be here for you, I promise, I-.. no matter what; he isn’t here anymore, and he can never hurt you again - I’d never let him; he wouldn’t ever be able to even touch a hair on your head, I swear, because he wouldn’t get through me - I swear on my life that he wouldn’t; you trust me, don’t you?”

You would appear taken aback by the question, before nodding hastily, sniffling again, and locking eyes with her, making your heart feel as if it had stopped, for a moment, as you tried not to get lost within her orbs again.

“M-More than anything,” you answered, without hesitation, “I - I’ve trusted you ever since I first met you, Reg.”

“Good,” she replied, evidently relieved to hear as much, before she smiled timidly over at you, prompting your heart to skip a beat, and you to forget how to breathe for a moment - how to even function, if she didn’t affectionately connect her forehead to your own, in an attempt to further provide comfort to you, seeing that you needed it still for a reason unbeknownst to her, “I’m glad, because - because I’ve also trusted you ever since I first met you, too - you’re-.. a really good friend; you always have been, and I wanna repay you for being here for me the way you have been.”

You tried to hide that the words ‘really good friend’ had dejected you, prompting you to smile half-heartedly back at her whilst your eyes darkened, and heart squeezed within your chest, feeling as if someone were trying to tear it to pieces somehow, whilst all you could do was watch, and feel it get broken in so many more ways in one, no matter how close you and Regina currently were - the pain would never go away, not until you stopped dreaming of a life with her, as well as stopped being plunged into nightmares about your past - something you feared could never happen, no matter how much you wanted it to. Besides - even if you were reluctant to let your dreams concerning her go - you knew that someone as perfect as her could never feel the same way for someone like you, could they?

‘I’m always gonna be here for you, I promise.’ Her own words kept circling her mind, even as Cal inched closer, his hands trembling a little whilst June, her mother, held her at arm’s length, tears slowly beginning to stream down her cheeks again.

“She’s fine,” Regina managed, barely audibly, her heart pounding uncomfortably again as she averted her gaze down to the ground once more, as soon as Cal expressed relief, before bowing his own head alongside her; he’d evidently been afraid that maybe you’d had a nightmare again, and freaked out on her, but it didn’t completely take his dread away, considering she was here, and not still up there with you.

“That’s good,” June mused, her voice gentle, and eyes never leaving her daughter, as if she were trying to search for the answer upon her to why she’d left you so suddenly, when you’d not even had a nightmare like they feared you had, as soon as they laid eyes upon her so shaken up again, “but-”

“Don’t,” she interjected, her eyes widening, voice trembling, whilst she tried not to allow a strained sob to escape her; talking wasn’t helping, when she was on the verge of breaking down again, “please.”

June winced, before smiling apologetically back at Cal, who sighed barely audibly, before nodding gravely back at her; he understood - it was difficult, and he didn’t want to force Regina in any way, shape, or form, to tell either of them about what had happened when she was set completely against doing so, for a reason unbeknownst to herself as well as the two before her. In a way, it felt like it was something dangling upon the tip of her tongue; she longed to tell people, in secret, that she’d kissed you, and that scared her - it was almost like an addiction, because at the same time she couldn’t decide whether she wanted to share any detail, at all, instead of going back upstairs to do it all over again.

She drew in a sharp breath, wishing she could stop thinking, and not just about the kiss, but also about how much she’d relaxed into it; how it made her feel - she couldn’t stop thinking about you, about all the times you’d smiled sheepishly in her direction, causing her heart to jump somehow in her chest, whilst she began to feel warm and fuzzy each time. She thought about all the times she held you, and you held her, and it was almost enough to make her smile softly down at the ground, until she remembered what had happened between you both a brief moment ago, and how it had ended; how she’d pulled away, and cursed herself for feeling anything for you, without you actually knowing that she did, and feared she always had.

June awkwardly cleared her throat, looking between Regina and your Uncle for a moment whilst she tried to think about the right words to say, now, after what had just happened, with her fleeing your room the way that she had.

“Maybe we should-”

“It might be for the best,” Cal interrupted dejectedly, and June would frown, before nodding gravely, whilst Regina didn’t dare say another word, not sure what to do with herself, now; not sure what to even feel, or think, anymore, now that she’d allowed herself to kiss you the way that she did, “but you can always come around another time, if you want to.”

“T-The place is gonna be open tomorrow, right?” Regina asked, her voice close to a whisper, and Cal would tense up, before nodding slowly, and smiling apologetically in her direction. “And Y/n’ll be-?” She continued, just to make sure.

“She’ll be here,” he reassured her, his eyes still warm regardless of what had just happened between her and you, as well as after the conversation she had had with him, promising that she wouldn’t let either you, or him down, “even if it rains - I take it we’ll still see you tomorrow, then, won’t we, Ms. George?”

“Yes,” Regina answered, without hesitation this time, and Cal would nod as well as smile his thanks to her, glad to see she at least wasn’t giving up on you, even though he and her mother still didn’t know why things had evidently changed the way they had.

“Then we’ll see you tomorrow,” he concluded gently, “goodnight, both of you, and I hope to see both of you again soon, outside of work and riding hours, if you ever wanna come around again.”

🜚

“What was that?” June questioned, once she and her daughter had left the barn, as well as Cal inside it, walking hastily back toward the car mostly because of Regina’s fast pace, but it didn’t stop her from occasionally as well as guilty and dejectedly glancing up at the house you were still meant to be sleeping within.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Regina answered simply, her voice barely audible, and sounding strained, as if she were struggling to hold herself together; struggling to stop it from trembling, even now; even after she’d kissed you, something she’d been subconsciously dreaming of doing for a while, now, only to find herself panicking, and drawing back the way she did though it had been one of the most blissful feelings she’d ever experienced before, to have her lips slot perfectly against your own.

“That might be the case, Regina, but I think this is something we should talk about,” her mother contradicted, and Regina would tense up, wincing, as she bowed her head, and hugged her arms closer to her chest, “why did you leave like that? Did Y/n do something to you?”

Regina faltered in place, her legs failing as she stopped in place, her eyes darkening; she couldn’t let you take the fall for her, even if it wouldn’t change how she felt, to have you kiss her, like she’d kissed you a brief moment ago.

“No,” she answered, without hesitation, sounding a little exasperated as she turned sharply on her mother, “she - she didn’t, she-..” She couldn’t stop it, small tears leaking from her eyes as her mother surveyed her curiously, evidently concerned, even as her daughter defended you, and she was still unaware of what had happened between you both. “I-.. It was me, okay?” She admitted weakly, and June’s expression would soften, her eyes growing a little warmer as she tilted her head partially, before lifting her hands up to her daughter’s shoulders.

“It’s okay,” she cooed gently, as Regina gradually began to break down.

“I did it-”

“Don’t cry, sweetie, it’s okay,” June continued in a softer voice as she drew her daughter into her arms, “just tell me what happened, and I’ll try and help you - I promise I will; the damage can’t be that bad, can it?”

“I kissed her,” she answered, in a voice close to a whisper, and June would fall quiet for a moment, realising.

“That’s okay,” she reassured her, and Regina would hesitate, before glancing up at her mother with a pained expression on her face, “h-how did it seem, to you?”

She would appear confused by the question, as well as a little further flustered by it, wincing again, before she bowed her head, and shuffled awkwardly upon the spot whilst she continued to try and swallow the lump back within her throat.

“W-What do you mean?” Regina inquired, as if she didn’t know, but her mother wouldn’t give in - not yet.

“You know what I mean, honey,” June insisted, her eyes trying to meet her daughter’s again, if only they’d let her, “how did the kiss feel, to you? Did you like it?”

“That’s irrelevant,” Regina contradicted, before pulling out of her mother’s embrace, and continuing toward the car, but June continued along the way, rushing after her daughter no matter how fast she walked ahead of her.

“Oh, c’mon, sweetie,” she pried, “I know you, and if you just talk to me about it, maybe I could help you!”

“Well you’re not helping me,” Regina spat, her voice briefly cracking as she opened the right back door of her mother’s car.

“Then tell me how I can help you-”

“You can help me, by shutting up,” she hissed, and June would falter, before nodding gravely, and appearing a little dejected, prompting Regina to falter, and sigh heavily as she looked away from her mother, not sure what had made her snap like that, but - all she knew now - was that she needed to be careful, around you, for her own sake, as much as your’s.

🜸

‘Well you’re not helping me!’ You heard Regina snap at her mother from a few paces below your bedroom window, prompting your heart to sink as you warily inched closer to the wall, before getting up off of your bed to sneak a glance at the two of them outside of their car.

Your lips tingled a little, as you thought back to the kiss, your heart skipping a beat, before it dropped and felt as if it were being squeezed excruciatingly all over again. You drew in a strained, shaky, and barely audible breath, your eyes darkening as you bowed your head a little, before releasing the curtain from your left hand; you shouldn’t dwell on it any longer, especially when you doubted anyone as perfect as her could feel anything for you, too.

“Y/n?” Cal began gently, his voice full of concern again as well as sympathy; he could tell that you were in pain, your shoulders tensing up a little as you glanced back at him, a lump forming within your throat as you scowled shook your head, small tears clouding your vision.

“It wasn’t her,” you claimed, without hesitation, “it - it wasn’t-”

“It’s okay,” he reassured you, a pained expression on his face as he drew closer to you slowly, the car outside slowly beginning to pull out of the drive-way, its wheels crackling upon the gravel, filling up the rest of the painful silence that passed between you both, until you felt able to speak up again.

“It’s not!” You cried, and you couldn’t hold it back anymore, steadily beginning to break down as he wrapped his arms around you, strained sobs slipping from your lips as you shook within his embrace, before returning it tightly, unable to stop thinking about her, and how her lips were so soft against your own, only making the pain worse than it was, before. “It was me! I scared her away; I kissed her,” you added hoarsely, and Cal would realise, his heart sinking alongside your own at such a revelation; he didn’t think Regina would reject you like that, but he held no hatred for anyone, but your father, and the man who had kidnapped you - he knew she must have her reasons, and she did, “it was all me; my fault; m-my stupid brain - she probably hates me, now-”

“She doesn’t hate you,” Cal contradicted hastily, not wanting you to think something like that as he held you at arms length, “I can see that she doesn’t; she probably just-.. needs some time, to think about things, but she told me herself that she’d be back, hopefully tomorrow, if that’s okay?”

You would appear taken aback, your heart skipping a beat, before you glanced up at him, sniffled quietly, and lifted your right hand up to wipe your eyes, but it didn’t stop the smaller tears from leaking out of the corners of them.

“S-She told you that, too?” You mused, and Cal would nod, noting that you’d said ‘too’, and not just ended the question on ‘that’, suggesting to him that you’d also heard from her that she’d be returning, the next day, like he had a brief moment ago.

“You doubted that she would?” He guessed, and you would frown, before nodding gravely, and bowing your head again. “I see,” he continued slowly; thoughtfully, “well, I’m afraid the only thing you can do right now, is not worry about what’s already happened, and instead think about what can be done to make up for it, right?”

“I guess,” you agreed begrudgingly, your voice briefly trembling as you tried to recompose yourself even further, somehow, making yet another failure of an attempt to swallow the lump in your throat.

“Good,” he replied, before smiling softly over at you, but you didn’t feel any better, simply forcing a smile over at him, before you awkwardly shuffled on your feet, trying not to think about the kiss anymore with everything within you, but you found it to be the only thing you could think about, the rest of that night, as soon as Cal had hesitantly retired himself to bed after completing one more check of the horses, now all surprisingly asleep as they should be, until the sun came back up excruciatingly slowly for both you, and Regina, the remainder of that night.

🜸🜚🜸

Regina struggled to focus during the school day, even as she and her friends sat together in the cafeteria, you a little ways away from them; you never really tended to sit together - never even seemed to talk, during the day, until you and her met to work as your Uncle’s stablehands after all the school work was done and over with for you both. As usual, Cady and Aaron were sitting together, followed by Janis and her girlfriend from last year, whilst she, Karen, and Gretchen were sat on the end of the table, each talking amongst themselves peacefully, until Karen asked Regina a question, and she was snapped out of her previous trance of thought, trying not to look in your direction as soon as she’d been broken out of it.

Instead, she looked up at Karen and Gretchen, mustered up a half-hearted ‘hm’, before forcing a smile, and wishing someone would give her an excuse to look in your direction; she was desperate to see how you were; to see if you, too, were possibly thinking about what had occurred the day before, but it terrified her to think about how things could change, if her feelings were reciprocated, especially when she’d not even broken up with Shane, yet.

Gretchen appeared concerned, tilting her head partially in response to Regina’s unexpected reaction; she’d never seen her like this before.

“Are you okay, Regina? You’ve been - unusually quiet, today,” she mused, and Regina would wince, before shrugging, and acting as if she were unperturbed; as if nothing were phasing her, as usual - well, not since she’d recovered from the incident with the bus, last year.

“I’m fine,” she reassured, trying to inject some brightness into her voice, “honestly.” But they clearly didn’t believe her, still watching her curiously for a moment, until Gretchen decided to question her some more as she averted her gaze back down to the bottle of water she’d recently bought - she’d not really felt like eating, today.

“Have you even been listening to anything of what we’re saying?” She pried, and Regina would try and fight back a sigh, nodding begrudgingly as she reluctantly returned her gaze to her friends sat opposite her.

“Sure I have,” she answered, her eyebrows furrowing a little, “why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know,” Gretchen replied, truthfully, “unless you’re hiding something from us - are you?”

Regina tensed up, trying not to glance back at you again, as she fidgeted with her hands under the table, trying to find the right answer she could muster in response to her question.

“No,” she responded, a little defensively, as she tried not to express that she was getting a little flustered again, trying desperately not to remind herself of the kiss yesterday, but - no matter how hard she tried - it always seemed to come back to the front of her mind, as if it were a fresher memory than it truly was, “I’d never hide anything from anyone - especially not you guys.” Both Gretchen and Karen shared a look, and Regina tensed up even more, like a deer caught in headlights, but she wouldn’t let them win against her. “N-Not anymore, I mean,” she added, her voice barely audible, and hasty, as if she were afraid of you overhearing such a response.

“Okay,” Gretchen continued slowly, but Regina could tell that she wasn’t quite out of the woods, yet, “if you really were listening, can you answer Karen’s question about the acorns?”

Acorns? That confused her even more, her eyebrows subconsciously furrowing again as she appeared a little puzzled, before looking toward Karen who looked expectant, as well as a little intrigued, mostly because she still wanted to know if acorns were smarter than people, as well as eager to find out somehow what was plaguing Regina’s train of thought the way they could both tell something was, even as she tried to claim that nothing was vexing her in any way, shape, or form, no matter how much they claimed it was.

“Acorns?” She inquired, subconsciously, forgetting the task at hand, and Karen would make to repeat the question, before Gretchen spoke up again.

“See? You weren’t listening,” she determined, and Regina would try not to roll her eyes, realising she’d messed up, “what’s going on with you, today? You’re being weird; this isn’t - well, you, at all.”

She hesitated, trying to make something up, and fast, especially when she noticed that the whole table had just fallen quiet to her left.

“It - It’s nothing,” Regina stated, avoiding eye contact with each of them, “it’s just - I don’t know, me and Shane had a fight again, earlier - that’s all; it’s not a big deal.”

Gretchen’s expression softened, whilst the others appeared concerned as well as worried about their friend - even Damian, sat currently at least a couple tables away to work on lyrics with his boyfriend, Toby (a recent date of his since even before the night of the prom) - looked up upon hearing it had got a little quieter where the group were sitting, right now - something unusual for their table as a whole, even during the shorter break time that came before lunchtime tended to arrive.

She’d feel bad, she knew - if it weren’t an entire lie; she and Shane had, in fact, briefly fought earlier, just before the school day had started, and she’d first regrouped with the others for the day, but she still felt a little heavy, knowing it was what happened between you and her yesterday that she couldn’t stop thinking about, rather than her arguments with Shane recently.

“Are you okay?” Gretchen inquired, her voice a little lower, since it was more of a personal subject to be discussing right now, only meant for the ears of her friends, and preferably nobody else, you excluded, since you were also her friend, though the others didn’t really know about you, yet, considering you didn’t tend to hang out together during the school day the way she did the others.

“Yeah,” Regina answered genuinely - it didn’t phase her anymore, though it probably should; some of the things he called her were horrible, “I - I’m kinda used to it, now, so - it’s not a problem, I swear-”

“Dump him,” Janis interjected, her girlfriend Lisa nodding beside her, “he doesn’t deserve you, honestly.”

“Janis is right,” Cady corroborated, and Regina would nod thoughtfully, managing a timid smile over at each of them as they spoke, “he doesn’t - it’s like, ever since the year started, he’s been avoiding you; you guys used to hang out more, but now.. I don’t trust him - you should totally just drop him, find someone better - there has to be someone else here that you like, is there?”

She didn’t dare answer, though your name was lingering uncomfortably upon the tip of her tongue, especially after her heart had jumped at Cady’s use of the word ‘someone’, instead of simply just another guy, something that she knew would only make her feel uncomfortable after all she’d been through with her ex boyfriends, and Shane, recently, her recently developing feelings for you only adding to that unsettled pit lingering within her stomach.

“Not that I know of, yet,” she claimed, instead, though she soon found herself unable to stop thinking about you again; your voice, small and sleepy, the night before; your eyes glinting; her brushing her lips against your own - her heart jumped again, and she quickly looked away from Cady, shrugging as she tried to distract herself with her bottle of water, all whilst a soft smile tried desperately to play on the curves of her lips in response to the thought of you, and her kissing you the night before. “But I’ll dump him,” she concluded, certain of herself, sounding determined, whilst her friends all appeared relieved at such a revelation, “I just need to wait for the right time to do it.”

🜚

Gravel cracked beneath her boots as she walked up the driveway of your Uncle’s riding centre, light rain droplets falling upon her and the floor below her as she moved swiftly, hoping to find you out in the riding pasture like your Uncle had stated you would be, in an email to each of the stablehands detailing their timetables today; what they were meant to be doing; where they were meant to be, right now, until - as well as a little after - the riding lessons were done for the day, and the horses were catered for until the next morning.

She wrapped her arms around herself, the wind biting a little though she was wearing a jumper, and quite a thick one, hoping it would keep the cold out completely, before she’d arrived here again. A couple other stablehands walked by her, talking amongst themselves and giggling quietly, until they disappeared around the corner, into the stable, but she didn’t stop and follow them, though she wanted to make sure that you were where you were meant to be, before she interrupted a lesson for no particular reason, except to talk to you about the previous night, not sure yet still what she was hoping for from you, as well as herself.

She also had made sure to keep her head down as she passed them, knowing she was probably supposed to be helping them out with arranging tack for the next set of riders, instead of going to the pasture the way that she was, her heart skipping a beat as soon as she noticed the outdoor riding arena coming into view, opposite the indoor one almost directly. She’d never really been in the indoor riding arena before; it was mainly for private lessons, as well as for the training of the horses who seemed to have more of a - challenging and wild personality than the others did - at least, that was what you’d told her the first day she’d arrived here, and asked you about it.

She couldn’t help, but begin walking a bit faster, determined to make things right, somehow, now more than ever, whether that was by just talking to you about what she did, or by doing something she was more afraid of, but she guessed she’d just have to see how you’d react to her, first, as she leaned against the pasture fence, watching you leading the students on Gile, a Buckskin Tobiano Mustang who had a tendency of being grumpy, especially when you’d first introduced her to him.

You rode so well; she couldn’t help, but watch in awe for a moment - she’d been struggling, herself, to get the hang of it, whenever your Uncle had allowed you to give her a lesson alongside the other stablehands as a reward for their work, completely free. She almost forgot what she’d came over here for, until she noticed your Uncle walking over to her, prompting her to wince, and hastily avert her gaze as she wondered if she should just speed-walk out of here, considering she couldn’t think up any other excuses for being here, and not where the others were, currently, preparing for the next group’s lesson in almost less than half an hour - if she wanted to talk to you, and fast, with a resolving of what she’d done the night before, she’d have to do it quickly - like, right now, before he could reach her, and usher her away from the outdoor arena, when that was - unbeknownst to her - the opposite of what he was planning on doing, currently, if only she knew that, herself.

“Remember, keep steady,” she heard you advise the students, walking along behind you, her heart pounding within her chest uncomfortably as she gripped on a little tighter to the fence, trying to find the right words to say, as well as trying desperately not to let go, and flee before it was too late to talk to you, when she felt able to do so, “the horses can sense your fear, and you need to make sure that you treat them with the respect that they deserve, whilst showing them who’s boss if they step out of line, so don’t let yourself slip, but if you do, treat them right, and they’ll treat you right, too.”

“She’s right,” Regina corroborated, and you would falter, your heart skipping a beat as you looked toward her, your eyes glinting a little as you lifted your right hand up to stop the students behind you from getting any closer, your Uncle wincing as he looked over at you, before returning his attention to her, “your strongest muscle, and worst enemy, is your mind - train it well.”

“Regina,” you began timidly, your heart squeezing a little as you remembered the night before, whilst your eyes darkened all over again, but you tried to stop the smile on your face from faltering the way it longed to, at least a little; seeing her would always make the ends of your lips curve up just slightly, as long as she were there with you, the way she was here for you, now, and intended to always be there for you, no matter what, even after what had happened between you both the night before, “w-what are you-”

“I’ll take over for you, Y/n, for a bit, okay?” Cal decided, and you would hesitate, before nodding, and smiling faintly your thanks to him as you carefully dismounted Gile, so your Uncle could instead ride him for the remainder of the lesson, as you jogged over to Regina, and quickly climbed over the fence so you could be out of the way of him as well as the students, especially when they were about to be trotting over some of the poles that had been laid out before the lesson had begun for them.

“Hey,” you greeted a little nervously, as she shuffled awkwardly on the spot for a moment, warily looking over at your Uncle to make sure that he wasn’t looking over at you both, before she gently took your left hand in her right one, mouthed a quick ‘follow me’, and rushed you away from the outdoor riding pasture.

🜚

Time seemed to slow down, for a moment - at least, you felt like it did, as you surveyed her peacefully, your eyes light, and heart pounding still in your chest as her hair flowed behind her, making her look even more like a goddess than she already did. You tried to fight back a sigh, especially since you knew it would sound weird, as you raced behind her, taking a while to catch your breath, until she snuck you into the next stable, and led you over to Firenze and Felicity.

🜸

“What are you doing?” You questioned, once you and Regina had stopped before their stalls, a sheepish smile on her face as she beamed over at you, evidently glad to see you again, after yesterday night’s events.

“What does it look like I’m doing, Y/n?” She inquired, as she carefully took down a couple of bridles, you watching her warily as she walked back up to Firenze’s as well as Felicity’s stall.

“Regina,” you began cautiously, but she wouldn’t listen, “don’t-”

“We won’t get enough time together, if we stay,” Regina interjected gently, and you would falter, a pained expression on your face, before you nodded gravely, and nervously looked away from her, your gaze stopping at the double doors, but luckily they were still closed, and you couldn’t hear anyone passing by, or getting any closer to them.

“Then give me one of the bridles, and I’ll tack up a horse for you,” you replied, and she would frown, evidently disappointed as she glanced back at you; she’d been hoping to ride Felicity, to keep her and her makeshift brother together, but you knew what Felicity liked to do, and you couldn’t risk Regina being flung off of her.

“But-”

“Please!” You begged, and she would sigh, before nodding begrudgingly, and passing on one of the bridles to you; if you and her were going to be riding outside of the establishment, then you wanted to keep her safe, so you moved away from Felicity’s stall, and instead walked toward Sunrise’s one.

🜚

You and Regina slowly walked side-by-side upon your horses, you on Firenze, and she on Sunrise, a pretty dapple grey Dutch Warmblood. Though she tended to slow down a lot without being instructed to do so, you felt she would be better off riding her, instead of Felicity, considering the White Friesian mare did tend to like bolting a lot more than Firenze did, whenever you or your Uncle were riding her outside of the compound.

“How are you doing, over there?” You inquired, trying to hide that you were smirking upon hearing Regina’s quiet struggles beside you, evidently finding it difficult to settle into the saddle more than you ever had.

Regina winced, evidently embarrassed as she tensed up a little, Sunrise snorting as she tossed her head a little, evidently nervous in response to her rider’s discomfort, but you managed to reach over, and hold part of the mare’s rein to try and stabilise her, though you doubted she’d bolt like either Firenze or Felicity would.

“I’m fine,” she claimed, not wanting to appear like she couldn’t handle the mare beneath her like you were managing Firenze, “you don’t need to worry about me - I can do this, I swear!”

“Not like that,” you contradicted gently, and she would grunt, before you reluctantly released the rein, warily watching Sunrise for a moment, before you returned your gaze to her after determining that the mare was calm, enough, “sit up, first, and keep your feet in the stirrups - do not move them out, just yet; you aren’t ready for that.”

She would hesitate, before begrudgingly doing as you told her to do, prompting you to express relief as you surveyed her peacefully, a soft smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

“Okay,” she replied slowly, “what now?”

“Just focus on Sunrise, now,” you answered, “keep a good hold on those reins, but don’t pull at her bit too much, okay? You need her to know that she can trust you; that you know what you’re doing, otherwise she won’t trust you, and will probably end up trying to buck you off of her-”

“Wait, what?” She interjected, and you would wince, Sunrise snorting again as she prodded along, whilst Firenze tossed his head alongside her; they’d evidently not appreciated her interruption, sensing that she was still a little uncomfortable in her position.

“Don’t think about that, now,” you advised her hastily, but still in a soft voice, not wanting to startle the horses any further, “just focus on the reins, and the speed you want her to go. You remember what I told you about slowing down, right? Squeeze her sides a bit, and pull back on the reins-”

“I remember that, I just-..” She trailed off, wincing, before she bowed her head a little, and you would frown, bringing Firenze a little closer to Sunrise so you could encouragingly squeeze her left shoulder using your right hand, prompting her heart to skip a beat as she glanced over at you for a moment, her eyes glinting, and smile beginning to grow back just as easily as it had gone away. You then faltered, remembering the night before again as you tried not to glance down at her lips, your eyes darkening, and heart sinking as you forced a smile over at her, before you removed your hand from her shoulder, trying not to break down, or lose your focus, especially not right now, with Firenze, and the possibility of him bolting when you were least expecting him to. “Hey,” she began gently; a little dejectedly as she averted her gaze back down to the reins, “I just-.. I wanted to bring you out here because-.. because I wanted to tell you that I - I’m-”

“Don’t,” you interrupted weakly, and she would fall quiet, a pained expression on her face as she looked over at you, tensing up a little again as she wondered why her heart felt as if it were being squeezed all over again, “I-.. there’s nothing for you to be sorry for, okay? We were both - both tired, a-and-..”

“Yeah, but-.. why?” She questioned, and you would appear puzzled, as well as a little scared as you looked over at her, your eyes full of a little anxiety as you wondered what she were trying to achieve out of you after what had happened between you both last night.

“Why were we both tired?” You inquired, hopefully, but she would hastily shake her head, appearing a little exasperated in response to your own question.

“No,” she answered, her voice trembling a little, “I - I meant - why? Why didn’t you push me away, then? If you didn’t like it, why didn’t you push me away? None of it makes sense-”

“Does it have to make sense?” You retorted, and she would falter, a hurt look on her face in response to you snapping at her the way you had, prompting you to falter, a pained expression on your face as you bowed your head a little, your eyes darkening again as guilt as well as shame began to overwhelm you; you hated upsetting her, the way you could tell you had a brief moment ago. You both rode along in silence for a little while, universes of pain spreading between you both excruciatingly, but you didn’t know what to say, so instead you allowed what you were currently thinking to slip from your lips, instead. “I’m sorry,” you continued a little shakily, as small tears began to cloud your vision, a lump beginning to form within your throat again, and Regina would frown, her heart aching for you in response to the sound of your voice breaking the way it did, prompting her to glance over at you, her expression softening as she did, “I’m sorry, okay?”

“Y/n-”

“I-.. I can’t always know the answer,” you interrupted feebly again, and she would shake her head hastily, not wanting you to feel as if you had to explain yourself like that, especially when it prompted you to begin putting yourself down again, something that hurt her almost as much as it hurt you, whenever she heard you cursing yourself for things like this, “a-and I hate myself for that, I really do, I-”

“It’s not your fault,” she contradicted gently, and you would hesitate, before you fell quiet, and glanced over at her again, your heart skipping a beat as soon as your gaze fell upon her; her soft eyes, sweet smile - it was an effort not to get lost within her orbs all over again, all the while you still found yourselves longing to glance down at her lips, your own tingling again at the thought of the kiss you’d shared with her last night - if only she’d not made you crave it even more than you ever had anything else before, as soon as she’d shared such an addictive experience with you. “It’s mine, okay? You know it is,” she reminded you, but you didn’t want her to take the blame for it, either, making to protest, before she continued again, “I’m sorry.”

You hastily shook your head again, your heart pounding against your ribcage uncomfortably whilst you tried to find the right words to say, but your thoughts were too loud, and your lips were still tingling as the memory of the night before kept replaying within your mind.

“Reg-”

“No,” she interjected, sounding a little exasperated again, “you don’t get to apologise for things that aren’t your fault, okay?”

You faltered, hesitating, and she could see that you still felt as if you should protest, your lips moving a little for a moment, as your eyes appeared thoughtful, but her voice had been firm, as well as soft enough, to deter you from doing so.

“Okay,” you answered, instead, and she would express relief, glad that she’d managed to get through to you, before you could panic anymore than you already had, a brief moment ago.

“Good,” she replied gently, her eyes growing a little warmer as she hesitantly returned her gaze to what was ahead of her, reminding herself of what you’d told her, before, about making sure you knew the environment around you, to prevent yourself from having an accident whilst riding outside of the compound the way you both were, right now, you still on Firenze, and she still on Sunrise, the two horses calmly prodding alongside each other as if they were unperturbed by what was currently going on above them both. “I’m sorry,” she began again, her voice barely audible, as if it were growing to be more of an effort to speak with every second that passed between you both, a heavy wall pressing down upon both of your chests and throats, making it harder all the more to not break down the way your emotions seemed to want you to, right now, riding alongside each other with small tears clouding each of your visions, “I - I really am, okay? I’m sorry that-..” She swallowed uncomfortably, her voice cracking as she did, but she couldn’t get rid of the lump forming within her throat. “That I left, like I did, a-after-..” She drew in a shaky breath, whilst you tried not to shake your head again, listening to her through partially ringing ears, your heart aching even more within your chest. “I should have stayed,” she stated, her voice a little firmer, and you could tell that she was angry at herself for not doing so, when you couldn’t blame her, at all; you just wanted her to be happy, and you felt as if you could never make her happy like that; the way you wished you could ever since you’d first met her, even when you didn’t know exactly what your feelings for her meant, at all, until this moment in time, “but that’s not the only thing I’m sorry for.” You appeared taken aback, evidently surprised by such a revelation; it only hurt even more to know that such things had been plaguing her just like they had you, just because of what had happened between you both yesterday. “I’m also sorry, b-because-..” She sighed, wishing this weren’t so hard; she had been hoping it would be easier, but she’d found that it had always been hard to find the right words around you, especially whenever you smiled at her like you did, every time your gaze fell upon her. “Fuck, why is this so hard?” She uttered, evidently flustered as well as frustrated, and you couldn’t help, but smile softly down at Firenze’s mane, finding it cute, how easily she could be flustered by some things, like she was, now. “Sorry,” she managed, as she winced, realising she’d said that out loud, only embarrassing as well as exasperating her further as she tried to start again for her sake, as much as your own, “l-look, I’m-.. I’m sorry, that I had nothing to say that night - I should’ve-.. I-..”

“Can we dismount, here? Really quick?” You requested, your voice close to a whisper, and she would fall quiet, her heart skipping a beat again as she looked over at you, her eyes widening a little as she subconsciously eased Sunrise into a standing position, and you would express relief, bringing Firenze to a stop beside her.

“Sure,” she answered curiously, “why?”

🜚

For a moment, all you could imagine flashed through your mind. You saw yourself pinning her gently against one of the trees to her right, your heart pounding alongside your own as you pressed your lips to hers, imagining yourself revelling in the feeling of her body against your own - a beautiful feeling. Butterflies fluttered around in your stomach; you tried not to look over at her too much, blood rushing to your cheeks; your urges were so vivid, so near, that you could almost reach out and grab them, but you didn’t want to lose her, so you kept your hands to yourself to the best of your ability.

Leaves crunched beneath both your, and her feet, as you trailed slowly side by side, leading your horses behind you as you admired the scenery around you, wondering if there were anything more perfect, than this moment you both found yourselves in.

“H-Hey, I, erm-”

“I missed you,” you began absent-mindedly, before wincing, your voice barely audible, blood rushing to your cheeks. Regina faltered, her expression softening as she glanced over at you, her eyes glinting just a little alongside your own; she’d missed you, too - all day today, whilst she was at school, as well as last night, even before she’d kissed you, and fled from your side again the way that she did, not too long ago, now. “A-All of last night, and-..” You fell quiet, and she would frown, before nodding gravely, and timidly linking her fingers with your own, prompting your heart to skip a beat, and you to falter in speech, mind, lung, and muscle, as you stopped beside her, and - as you were terrified of your feelings for her right now; of what they’d make you do - you hastily removed your hand from hers, stammering a little shakily; barely audibly, for a moment, whilst she appeared hurt by your decision as you stepped back a little from her side, avoiding eye contact with her to the best of your ability.

“Y/n-”

“I - I don’t think we should be friends, anymore,” you uttered, sounding a little exasperated, and strained, as if just sounding the words out was painful for you to do, whilst she, too, found it hard to hide that your words had struck her, leaving what felt like a burning hole within her chest.

“What?” She replied; she still couldn’t quite believe it, but you wouldn’t let it go, shaking your head as you stepped back again, before she could get any closer than she subconsciously had.

“I don’t-.. I’m not-” You struggled, your voice briefly trembling as you tried not to cry, an overwhelming lump within your throat again. “I can’t do this anymore; I don’t want this-”

“Y/n, stop-”

“I don’t want you,” you concluded weakly, though every word was far from the truth, burning your tongue excruciatingly as you wished you could just tear your heart out, and just give it to her right now, on more than just some silver platter, “I-”

“So that’s it?” Regina interrupted, a hurt look on her face, and you would falter, hesitantly glancing up at her whilst small tears leaked from the corners of your eyes.

“Reg-”

“You’re just gonna - what, throw us away? After everything?” She questioned, her voice firm, though you could still tell she was hurting, too, just like you were - you just wondered why. “Is this about the kiss, yesterday?” She inquired, the question throwing you off guard as you tensed up, before hastily lowering your gaze again as you bit down harshly upon your tongue, almost enough to draw blood as a faint metallic taste began to form grossly within your mouth, only to be worsened by her drawing slowly closer to you, a hopeful, as well as pained, and curious expression on her face.

“What? No, you-”

She didn’t hesitate, gently easing you against the tree behind you as she delicately pressed her lips to your own, and you relaxed within her embrace, your eyelids fluttering shut at the feeling.

“You liked it, didn’t you?” She mused, sounding a little breathless, her voice close to a whisper, and you would wince, not realising for a moment that the kiss had ended when it did, the realisation that it was over only making you feel empty inside all over again.

“Regina,” you began again feebly, a little nervous; you’d never been in a situation like this before, her eyes never leaving your own.

“I liked it, too,” she managed, though the words still felt foreign; dangerous, considering her previous ideals and personality, last year - it was unusual, but not in her own eyes, just in the eyes of the others, back at Northshore high, “t-that’s why I-”

“There you two are,” your Uncle interrupted, and you both would falter, tensing up as he and his horse, Willow, a Black Pinto Clydesdale, emerged into the clearing, their auras emitting the same calmness the pair shared, together, completely contradictory to your and Regina’s current demeanours, as you warily asked him the question you were first thinking of, your eyes doing all the talking they needed to do, for you. “Don’t worry - the session’s still going; Desdemona’s got it covered,” he explained, his voice gentle, just so you both knew he wasn’t angry, at all; he was more relieved, than he was anything else, glad to see that you two were at least still talking, after yesterday’s events.

You expressed relief, as well as dejection, forcing a smile, before you nodded gravely, and averted your gaze again.

“I-..” You began slowly, your voice briefly cracking as Cal warily looked between you both, his eyes looking as if they were trying to scan through the both of you; trying to determine the skip, drop, and squeeze of your heart beats, as if they were that easy to read, right now, just through the ways you were both standing; the way you were trying to form a sentence, only to fail miserably before the girl you loved, and the man you considered to be your only family, after all that had happened to you, all those years ago, with the divorce, as well as the kidnapping that had previously befallen you. “We-”

“I can give you both some more time, if you need it?” Cal suggested, his voice already knowing, but neither you or Regina dared to respond, finding you couldn’t even muster up the right words to say, each one stuck within your throats, but it wasn’t something new to him - not at all. “Do you?” He continued, and Regina made to nod, but before she could say anything, you were shaking your head, and uttering that you had stuff to do, before you walked hastily back to Firenze’s left side, and carefully climbed back up into his saddle, gone before she could even say goodbye to you, only making her heart ache even more within her chest, somehow. “She’ll come around,” he reassured her gently, and she would wince, realising she’d zoned out, a pained expression on your face, as soon as you had disappeared back into the woodland behind them both, “she just-.. needs some time, probably, to think about things.”

Regina frowned, before nodding gravely, and awkwardly shuffling on the spot as she tried to recompose herself, feeling pathetic for how she’d just acted around you, before.

“I know,” she corroborated, her voice soft, though it longed to crack like your’s had, the lump still stuck within her throat, and her face still warm, like it usually was when she was trying not to cry.

“Good,” he replied, evidently glad; he didn’t want her to think that you’d left, and would never talk to her again, now, regardless of what had just happened between you both; he knew you too well, to even fear that you’d completely leave her alone like that - even after the world had done you wrong the way it did, all those years ago, you still tried; you would never abandon those you loved, he only hoped that such a trait never left you, for both your sake, as much as her own.

🜚

On the ride back, neither of them said a word to each other - at least, not until they were about to leave the woodlands behind them, the academy’s arenas coming in to view just about beyond the tree-line, before it could be broken, and they would be out in the open again.

“I’m sorry,” Regina managed, her voice barely audible, and heart aching again as her eyes darkened; she hated how she’d left you the way she did, last night, when she feared you needed her the most, in the state that you had been, before she’d arrived, and - regardless of how right the previous moment had felt between you both - she still felt guilty for reacting the way she did; for pressing you against that tree, and kissing you again; it was something she never thought she was capable of allowing herself to do, before, considering she’d always tried to hide her own secret desires the way she had been, until she’d first met you, and began to see and think of you everywhere she seemed to go, away from here, “for - for last night - I shouldn’t have-.. y’know; I should have stayed with her, and I hate myself for leaving, I swear I do, I-”

“She understands why you did it, Ms. George,” Cal reassured her gently, but she didn’t want you to understand; she wanted you to hate her for what she did, though the thought of you hating her was painful, in itself, “and - in a way - so do I.”

Regina curiously looked over at him, though she didn’t mean it any disrespectful way; it was just a surprise to her as it wasn’t something she’d ever heard him talking about, before, despite her being around him and you for a while, now, almost proper family to you, in some ways - at least, she wished she could be that for you. Little did she know, that you did feel that strong of an attachment to her already, and it was almost unbearable when things became the way that they were, now, between you both, especially when you found yourself rejecting her, afraid of disappointing her, as well as of what Shane might do, considering she was still with him, currently; still arguing with him everyday, and trying to hide it from you, though you could see through her the pain and frustration it was putting her through, you just never thought part of that pain would be a manifestation of what was also going on between you both, too.

“You do?” She mused, almost sounding relieved, and Cal would nod gravely, before smiling faintly over at her.

“I do,” he repeated gently, “love, it does - curious, things to people.”

Regina faltered at his use of the word ‘love’, her heart skipping a beat, before she hastily looked away from him, trying to hide that she could feel her cheeks beginning to warm up in response to his phrasing; she’d never considered ‘love’ as being what her feelings for you, were, but - in a way - it felt like it made sense, and the word seemed more appealing to her, now, as a soft smile began to tug at the corners of her lips as she found herself unable to stop thinking about you, and what you might be doing right now, again.

“Love? What makes you think it’s-”

“Feelings, then,” Cal rephrased, and Regina would frown, before nodding slowly in response to his interjection - she already missed the previous word, but not as much as she missed being with you, the way she was earlier, “everyone’s had them - whether they’re love, or something less, they’re there - you might be scared of them, right now, but you won’t be for long, that much I can promise you, it’s just what they do to you, after-..” Your Uncle sighed, whilst Regina looked over at him, a concerned as well as curious expression on her face as he seemed to be trying to recompose himself, small tears clouding his own vision as he avoided her gaze strategically, desperate to try and keep himself together for you, as well as for her, but the thought of how his late husband had gone made his body weak, each day that passed by since his own passing - the cold of his bed’s left side would never go away, when he woke up in the morning. “I’m sorry, Ms. George, but I really must be checking on the session, now,” he stated, his voice a little more strained as he forced a smile over at her, “just - give it time, and you’ll see.” He then eased Willow into a trot beneath him, only making it a few paces away from her, before he halted his stallion again. “Oh, and by the way,” he continued, as Willow prodded slowly toward the end of the tree-line, “we were all young once, Ms. George, never forget that, will you?”

🜚

Cal’s words followed her everywhere after he’d gone, as she trotted Sunrise back toward the stable, being as careful as she possibly could, considering she was by herself, now, no-one to protect her if something went wrong, but she didn’t blame you for rushing off the way you did, after what had previously happened between you both. She knew Cal said she should wait, but it was painful trying to hide from her feelings, something silently pulling her toward the house as she sneakily rushed up the porch, looking around her warily, before she eased open the front door, and immediately headed for the stairwell.

🜸

You were inside your room, crying, at the time; you’d tried to hold it all back, but the emotions soon came flooding out of you, as soon as you were alone, curled up upon your bed the way that you were, now. You sniffled barely audibly against your pillow, hugging your knees to your chest as your shoulders shook a little with every strained and uncontrollable sob that escaped your lips - you didn’t doubt you would have been stuck like this for a while, if she didn’t stop outside your door, and knock on it gently the way that she did.

🜸

As soon as she reached the door, she faltered, a pained expression on her face as soon as she heard you crying behind it; it was unbearable. For a moment, she couldn’t lift her right arm to knock, instead allowing her palm to press against the door as she tried to work up the courage to do something, anything, and it then struck her that you were only a few paces away from her, prompting her heart to skip a beat, before she smiled softly, and managed to pull herself out of her brief trance, before she knocked upon the door, and you managed a feeble ‘come in’ in response to the sound.

🜸

Before she could open the door, you were hastily wiping your eyes, and forcing yourself to sit up. You evidently expected Cal to be stood on the other side, your heart dropping, and muscles tensing up as soon as your gaze had fallen upon her. She stared back at you, lingering anxiously by the door as she fidgeted a little with her fingers again, her heart pounding overwhelmingly alongside your own.

“Y/n-”

“W-What are you doing, in here?” You questioned, and she would frown, a hurt look on her face as she bowed her head for a moment, trying to find the right words to say.

“I-.. I don’t know, I just-.. I guess I just-..” She sighed, evidently frustrated again - even her cheeks were turning a little pink; you couldn’t help, but find it adorable, trying not to show that her current demeanour was making your skin buzz with elation. “I wanted to see you, okay?” She managed, eventually, sounding just as exasperated as she looked, right now. “I-..” She fell quiet, her heart sinking as her eyes darkened, prompting you to feel a little guilty as you bowed your head, fidgeting with your own shaky fingers alongside her, as she timidly drew closer, hoping you’d accept her presence, this time. “I’m sorry,” she began again, her voice briefly trembling; sounding dejected, only making you feel worse, but still you didn’t dare look up at her - everything about her was just too-.. tempting, and you couldn’t take the way you felt around her; your feelings were growing to be too intense; more than they ever had, before, “f-for earlier, I-.. I really-”

“It’s fine,” you reassured her gently, and she would express relief, her heart skipping a beat as her eyes began to glint a little again, “it-.. it was my fault, anyway.”

That took her aback, again; she hastily shook her head, not wanting you to blame yourself for what she’d done as she then stepped even closer, your heart pounding even faster somehow with every step she took, only a few away from your bed, now.

“I-”

“Reg,” you interjected gently, but your voice was still firm - it was a warning, and nothing less than that; you didn’t want to lose control of yourself around her, especially when she was so close to you, right now, only leaving you more afraid than ever of what you’d end up doing; of everything you were imagining yourself doing, even after what had happened between you both, earlier, within the clearing.

“I know,” she replied, her voice soft and strained, and your heart begged to surrender to her, but you didn’t want to make things worse for her like you feared you would, if ever she decided she wanted to be with you, instead of Shane, “look, maybe-.. maybe we don’t have to talk about it, right now, if you don’t want to? W-Would you let me just-.. stay with you, l-like I should have, last night?”

You would appear taken aback by her suggestion, your heart positively soaring in response to it; you couldn’t think of anything you’d ever wanted more, as you tried to win back control of a clear mind, only for it to get cloudy and loud again within it, as she sat down upon your bed, before smiling lovingly in your direction. This would no doubt be the hardest night of your life, as well as the best thing that had ever happened to you, so far.

🜚

You still couldn’t bear to look over at her, especially as soon as she came out of the bathroom in her pyjamas, your heart skipping a beat as you noticed her loose-hanging clothing, trying not to think of anything, but the sound of the horses’ galloping outside, evidently playing within their pasture as they neither occasionally, or snorted - it made you smile, to think of Firenze and Felicity playing out there, before their own bedtime could begin, alongside your and Regina’s.

“What did your mum say?” You asked, sounding a little nervous, and Regina would shrug, seeming unperturbed as she finished up brushing her teeth, before rejoining you on the edge of your bed again.

“She’s fine with it,” she answered, and you would raise your eyebrows; you could tell when she was lying, and - for a moment - she winced, before hastily averting her gaze down to her hands, “okay, I didn’t tell her, but-”

“Then what did you say?” You questioned, appearing a little more worried, now, whilst another part of you tried desperately not to smirk, your eyes glinting as she appeared confused by your demeanour, as well as a little relieved, tilting her head partially to the side as you surveyed her peacefully, trying not to get lost within her orbs, though they felt like oceans of calm, to you, your heart-beat not pounding as overwhelmingly as it usually did, whenever you were around her, as long as you were looking into her eyes the way that you were, right now.

“You don’t really care, do you?” She guessed, and you would fall quiet, wincing, as she grinned sheepishly over at you; knowingly, and for a moment she seemed to lean closer to you, and you would falter, your blood running cold, and heart beginning to pound against your rib-cage again as you drew back from her, and hastily looked away to try and tell yourself that you were just imagining it; she couldn’t still want to kiss you, why would she? Regina faltered, a pained expression on her face as she looked away from you, too, her eyes darkening; she didn’t know why your action had hurt so much, and nor did she know why she kept feeling as if she were magnified to you, even more so after the kiss had taken place between you both, yesterday, as well as a little earlier, today. She sighed, timidly fidgeting with her fingers as she tried to find the right words to say again, not wanting things to just be awkward between you both, now, the way that they were. “I’m sorry,” she offered gently, and you would tense up, only for a moment, as you glanced over at her again timidly, forgetting how to breathe as you admired her again - it just didn’t seem possible to not be able to do so, “I don’t know why I-.. my mom, I told her I was at another friend’s house - she probably won’t suspect a thing, in fact, I promise you she won’t - just-.. please, don’t worry about that - we have a night together to enjoy, right? Whatever bad that might happen can come later, but right now we’re happy here, aren’t we?”

You couldn’t help, but smile softly, blood rushing to your cheeks, even as you hesitated, your eyes glinting once they were locked with her own again.

“We’re happy,” you corroborated gently, and she would express relief, smiling warmly back at you as she wrapped her arms around your waist, prompting you to tense up again within her embrace for a moment, evidently not used to how it felt, still, to have her arms around you the way they were, now.

“Good,” she replied, glad, as you timidly returned the hug, now flustering her a little as she couldn’t help, but beam over at the wall, even as she’d forgot how to breathe, briefly, alongside you, only remembering how to do so once it was necessary for her to, alongside you, but she knew at some point the hug would have to be broken, regardless, prompting her heart to sink, before she shot a sad smile over at you, released you from her arms, and tried to find more words she could use again without choking: “so, what do you wanna do?”

~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed the first part! ❤️

[lavenderauthor]

Title: Biologically Wired to Think Enji's Eldest is Hot by LavenderAuthor (6k)

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Dabi | Todoroki Touya/Takami Keigo | Hawks, Dabi | Todoroki Touya & Todoroki Enji | Endeavor, Dabi | Todoroki Touya/Original Male Character(s), Dabi | Todoroki Touya & Iguchi Shuuichi | Spinner

Summary: After months of sleeping around(or just making out) with most of the cold-blooded and avian mutant population that frequented a secret heteromorph club, Dabi accidentally gets on the nerves of a specific group who both hated that he A) frequented a club meant for mostly heteromorphs and B) is a non-heteromorph sleeping around with only specific heteromorphs.

Said group, after seeing him at a gathering and easily slipping between partners like usual, made the brash decision to turn the gathering into a hostage situation. They made one mistake, however: they kidnapped Endeavor's eldest son.

(Gif by itssleepyrabbit)

[raaorqtpbpdy]

Haunted

For the Phic Phight prompt: During a fight, Danny finds out he can survive in space. This leads to him [accidentally] terrorising the astronauts on the ISS à la every space thriller ever. (from @the-archer-goddess)

AO3 Link

[Warnings for outer space, and horror elements]

("Italicized dialogue" = Spoken in Russian)

Danny had chased ghosts a lot of places. At a certain point, after flying through buildings and mountains and the core of the Earth, he stopped paying attention to where he was. This particular ghost, an irritating little bugger known as Youngblood, who fancied himself an astronaut today, led Danny all the way into the stratosphere without the halfa even batting an eye.

By the time he captured Youngblood in the Fenton Thermos and took a moment to absorb his surroundings, he realized he was all the way in outer space. And wouldn't you know it, it turned out that ghosts, even half-ghosts, could survive in a total vacuum. There wasn't a chance in the Realms of Danny not taking advantage this new information, and, well, he'd always wanted to visit the International Space Station.

—

Kazimir Novikov, a Russian mathematician and programmer aboard the ISS, heard a tapping on the window. For a moment, he didn't think anything of it, until he heard the tapping again. The sound was coming from the other side of the thick glass. It was coming from outside the ship. He groaned.

"Ryuji!" he called out to the nearest engineer. Ryuji Mochizuki didn't speak Russian as well as he probably should've been able to, so they spoke to each other in English, though Kazimir's English wasn't quite perfect. "Sound like something shaken loose outside!" 

"Shaken loose?" questioned Ryuji. "Broken?"

"Maybe," Kazimir answered. "Don't know. Something tap on my window outside like tap tap taptap tap," he verbally mimicked the strange rhythm.

"Wait wait!" Denise Song, a Chinese-American biochemist interrupted. "What did the tapping sound like?" as if on cue, the tapping came again, this time on a different window, nearer the others. Tap tap taptap tap. Denise pushed herself to the window and looked through, but saw nothing out there that shouldn't be. Tap tap taptap tap. Cautiously, she tapped twice on the inside of the window.

In a flash, a boy appeared, grinning. He had white hair and luminous green eyes and disappeared in an instant. He hadn't been wearing a space suit. Denise gasped and if there had been gravity, she would've fallen on her ass.

"There's something out there!" she said. She repeated herself in Russian, then Japanese, just to make absolutely sure the message got through to her crew mates.

"What is?" Ryuji asked asked. "Loose coupling? Bent panel? Space debris?"

Denise shook her head. "I don't know what. Looked like a kid, but it vanished."

"Vanished?" Kazimir asked. That word wasn't in his English vocabulary.

"Исчез," she translated. "Disappeared. Gone."

"How could a child be outside?" Kazimir asked in Russian, scoffing. "I think you must be getting space-sick or something. You watch too many scary movies on your laptop."

"I swear I saw someone, Kaz!" she insisted. She turned to Ryuji and said, "You shouldn't go out there."

"If something is broken, I need to go fix it," Ryuji responded. "I have to at least check."

"It's not—" Denise cut herself off. Maybe they were right. She did watch a lot of horror movies; maybe she was imagining things. It could've been a trick of the light. Her eyes could've picked up on glare from the lights and her own reflection in the glass, and for a moment, it had just looked like there was someone outside. "Just... be careful."

"Of course," Ryuji promised.

He changed into his space suit, attached the safety line, and stepped off the edge of the ISS. He went for a little spacewalk along the side where they'd heard tapping, keeping an eye out for something loose, or bent out of shape, maybe a wrench or screwdriver that had accidentally been left hooked to the outside of the station. He and Amélie Chevalier, the other engineer on board, a robotics specialist from France, had done maintenance just two days before. One of them may have mistakenly left a tool behind, but there shouldn't have been any actual mechanical issues to deal with.

Ryuji checked the panels on the outside of the station, the hatches, the mechanical arms, examined each of the windows. Everything seemed to be in perfect working order. But... all three of them had heard that tapping noise. Something had to have made it. 

He felt a tug on his safety cable and looked behind him to see what he'd snagged it on. Nothing appeared to be there, and the cable floated freely in the vacuum of space. He tugged back, just in case, and for the barest of seconds, he could swore he saw a boy without a space suit holding onto the cable about ten feet down. Then Ryuji blinked, and the boy was gone, leaving him to wonder if he'd really seen him in the first place.

An uneasy feeling churned in the engineer's stomach. He'd done what he came out to do, even if he hadn't found anything. He was ready to go back in now. Whatever that was, his imagination or not, he really didn't want to meet it again. Once he was back inside, he told no one what he'd seen, only that nothing was loose or damaged, and he couldn't find the source of the tapping.

A few minutes later, Amélie screamed.

When an astronaut screamed like that on the International Space Station, everyone had to know why. Anything worth screaming about in space could mean fatalities for the crew.

"What is it, Amélie?" Miroslav Zima, the pilot, asked in Russian.

"I saw someone outside!" Amélie answered, on the verge of hysterics. "It was a boy, and he wasn't wearing a suit. He... he waved at me!"

"That's impossible Amélie," said Étouale Bois, the Latin-Quebecois botanist on board. "How much sleep have you gotten recently?" 

"I'm not sleep deprived!" Amélie insisted. "I know what I saw!"

"I saw him too," Denise said. "He tapped on the window. He smiled at me when I tapped back." She turned and translated for Ryuji, who's Russian wasn't as good as the others.

"I—" Ryuji started to say in English, then swallowed hard and shook his head. "I thought I saw a boy, too," he told them in a whisper. "I thought he tugged on my safety cable."

"White hair?" Denise asked, switching to English as well. "Glowing green eyes? Black jumpsuit, but no helmet?" Ryuji nodded. Amélie nodded too. "How could we all have seen the same thing if it wasn't really there?" she asked the other three.

"You could be messing with us," Miroslav pointed out. Then the lights flickered. Then the air grew cold. "Are you... messing with us?" Denise shook her head solemnly.

"Whatever it is... I think... I think it may have gotten inside somehow," Denise said as a shiver crawled up her spine. "I think it's close."

The six astronauts stilled, glancing around the chamber as if some sort of ghoul or alien might jump out at them somehow. Just when Étouale scoffed, about to make a snide remark about how all their crew mates were paranoid, an unfamiliar voice spoke from behind them.

"This place is the coolest thing ever!" claimed the voice of a young boy. This time, Amélie wasn't the only one who screamed. They all saw him. White hair and eyes like the light on an anglerfish, drawing them in, threatening to consume them whole.

"What the fuck is that!?" Étouale screeched. "How the fuck did a kid get up here!?"

The boy looked momentarily startled before vanishing again. The astronauts whipped their heads around, waiting for him to appear again. Slowly, without having to say anything, they all turned so they were back-to-back-to-back, ready on all sides for the boy, whoever or whatever he was, to appear again.

It was so cold now that their breath misted in the air. In the climate controlled space station, it had been months since any of them felt this kind of cold, this bone-deep chill, like the icy grips of death in their very lungs. The lights flickered again, and the astronauts collectively held their breath.

"Sorry about the cold, it's just, I'm really excited to be here!"

The boy popped up again, in front of Miroslav, who took a swing at him on instinct. His fist passed right through the boy's head like he wasn't there at all. Again, the boy vanished, but this time a hollow, echoing giggle took his place. The laugh sounded like a child in a home video that they were watching after the child's funeral. Happy, but at the same time brimming with heartache.

"What kinds of experiments are you working on?" The leaves on Étouale's radishes rustled as if something brushed up against them, and frost formed. "Oops. Don't worry, I'll fix it!" Just like that, the frost evaporated. The boy turned visible again for an instant, then was gone from their sight.

"Who are you?" Kazimir demanded. "What are you?"

"Oh, sorry," the boy's voice chuckled nervously. He appeared again, standing on wall, upright to them all, as if gravity was somehow holding him there. "I'm Danny!" he said, smiling brightly as if he wasn't the most horrifying thing six astronauts who faced the vast, deadly vacuum of space every day had seen in their entire lives. "And I know you guys! Denise Song, Ryuji Mochizuki, Kazimir Novikov, Miroslav Zima, Amélie Chevalier, and Étouale Bois! Am I pronouncing that right? Étouale?"

Étouale nodded mutely. None of them could muster up a word to say to the mysterious teenage boy standing in front of them, who somehow knew all their names.

"I keep up on everything that goes on in space!" the boy said, seemingly oblivious to the fact that the astronauts were all fairly petrified with fear. "I follow NASA on all my social media so I can see what's going on up here. I never thought I'd be able to actually see it see it, not for years, at least."

"H-how did you get here?" Denise asked, trying to sound authoritative and failing miserably as her voice escaped her a timid squeak.

"I flew!" came the response. "Turns out ghosts can survive in space! Who knew? Not me! Isn't it awesome?"

"Ghost?" was all Denise managed to get out before he fainted, her unconscious form floating in the chamber. For all that she loved supernatural horror movies, she was not prepared to live one.

"Denise!" Ryuji called out to her, tapping the side of her face and trying to get her to wake up. He felt for a pulse, making sure the ghost boy hadn't somehow killed her. "She's okay. I think she fainted."

"Can you blame her?" Étouale asked. "I think I'll probably join her in a minute. I would not have signed up for this shit if I knew the ISS was fucking haunted."

"Haunted?" the boy cocked his head in confusion and looked around. "But I didn't sense any ghosts up here?"

"She's talking about you, kid," Miroslav told him, using the bars above to reposition himself in front of his crew mates. Kazimir slipped thought the passage on the opposite side to take the unconscious Denise out of there.

"Me? But I'm... oh... yeah..." A light green tinge rose to the boy's cheeks, and he looked down as if he was embarrassed. "Sorry, I guess I didn't think about—I was just really excited, you know. I didn't realize I was scaring you."

"Didn't realize?" Ryuji repeated, aghast. "Kid, you scared the absolute shit out of us!"

He looked even more chastised as he hunched his shoulders, shrinking into himself. "Sorry."

"You're... not going to hurt us?" Amélie asked cautiously.

"No!" The boy's eyes widened. "Definitely not! I just wanted to see the space station. You guys are, like, my heroes. I've always wanted to be an astronaut, you know."

"Is that so?" hesitantly, Amélie maneuvered past Miroslav, closer to the ghost boy. "What did you say your name was?"

"Danny Phantom," the boy said.

"Well, Danny, would you like to see the Astrobee robots?" she offered with a smile.

The boy lit up, his faintly glowing aura literally brightening at her offer to see the little fan propelled robotic assistants on the space station. "Would I ever!"

[basicallyjaywalker]

Starry Eyed

Was going through my drafts tonight and refound this, so I decided to polish it up a little and publish. It's just self-indulgent tooth-rotting manashipping fluff but... eh, my AO3, I get to choose what to publish

[tobimilobi]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Haikyuu!! Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou & Yachi Hitoka Characters: Hinata Shouyou, Kageyama Tobio, Nishinoya Yuu, Sugawara Koushi, Hinata Natsu, Hinata Shouyou's Mother, Sawamura Daichi Additional Tags: Mute Hinata Shouyou, Hurt Hinata Shouyou, Hinata Shouyou Needs a Hug, hinata shouyou - Freeform, kageyama tobio - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Aphonia, Temporary Mute Character, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, Yachi Hitoka is a Good Friend, Nishinoya Yuu is a Good Friend, child abuse is metioned a the end, No Beta, a little bit of kagehina?, I think?, but not really, Oneshot, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Cute Ending Summary:

"What of my words made you stop talking?"

The question surprised him so much that he stopped with his bicycle. He thought maybe he misheard, but when Kageyama looked at him, he realized he really wanted to know.

[taringill]

The ending is very cute🩷🤧

Part 11!

I discovered that Draxum's place is actually very beautiful.

By the way, his scars are still here. I just have too minimalistic art style to draw them on every page:)

Part 1

[monstermonger]

Study of a cat I once saw in Sopot, Poland.

[emotional-moss]

idk y’all should treat fat men better. and i don’t mean mildly chubby guys i mean honest-to-god love-handles-and-double-chins fat guys. stop calling them shit like discord mods or gross weebs or nasty creeps or neckbeards or that they’re stinky or sweaty or beer bellied or whatever else. fatphobia isn’t cute, even repackaged in a neat little box of “ew men”

[valtsv]

are we still doing this because i have a late submission

[angstyandromanticwriting]

Reneé Rapp X Fem!Reader Angsty, Cute and Fluffy Prompt [Full Version]

• This is the full version of the prompt, as promised!

• This is a WIP and some thoughts may be inefficient to the story as it was partly written whilst I had been taken ill!

• There will be more!

• Hope you enjoy!

!TW: Implied suffering from self doubt + Anxiety + Separation Anxiety + Depression, self put-downs, mention of previously being bullied, mention/presence of a break-up, swearing, mild hints of jealousy, spoilers regarding the T.J Klune ‘Green Creek’ series, occurrence of a car crash, presence of blood, injury detail, mention of previously almost being a victim of sexual harassment, mention of implied previous sexual occurrences - If I’ve missed any, please let me know!

Stupid/Was it Ever Real

You couldn’t remember days you’d been happier, than you were, now. Reneé was stood to your left, styling her fringe whilst you overlooked your own, wincing; you’d not done a great job at it - at least, you thought you didn’t. You were so distracted by it, as well as anxious about what she would think about what you’d done with it, that you didn’t notice her eyes travelling over to you; the soft smile playing on her lips. Your heart skipped a beat, as soon as you heard her voice beside you.

“Stop being so cute,” she remarked, almost pouting, and you couldn’t help, but giggle softly, your eyes locking with her own, stopping you from turning to face her completely, once her bright orbs had entrapped you within them; her entire being.

You remembered it all so clearly; how she tilted her head partially in your direction, her smile only growing wider to the point your heart almost couldn’t take it. It still made you tense up, to think about how she’d always had this effect on you, ever since you’d first met her.

“You think I’m cute?” You mused, your eyebrows raising a little as she tried not to wince, her smile growing a little more sheepish as she appeared a little exasperated, only making it harder for you to breathe, seeing her in such a state, and all because you were there, beside her. It was hard to believe, knowing she was still there with you, perfect, and full of bright life, whilst you-…

You tried not to sigh, your eyes darkening a little as you looked away from her, trying not to allow a pained expression to cross your face; you doubted you could ever be anything like her; anything enough for her, and that hurt more than anything else ever had, before. Worse than all the bullying you’d ever experienced in your lifetime, before this moment, stood with her before a slightly dirty but bright mirror. You timidly adjusted your glasses, but her eyes never left your’s, now full of concern as well as something else you couldn’t quite figure out, but you loved how it felt, regardless - the warm spark in her eyes.

“You know I do,” she insisted gently, and before you could even recover from the last effect she had had on you, the fingers of her right hand were intertwined blissfully within the fingers of your left one, and you couldn’t breathe, your previous breath hitching in your throat as your eyes widened a little - what felt like little shots of electricity ran through your arm, and you hoped you weren’t getting goosebumps right now underneath your sleeves. “Hey,” she began again, and it was so hard to not look over at her, “baby, look at me-”

“C-Can you tell me again,” you mused slowly, her eyes tracking you keenly, the worry never leaving them as she gently squeezed your hand, never interrupting though you struggled to find the right words to say, your heart aching excruciatingly within your chest more than it ever had, before, “why - why should we date? No, w-why would - why would someone as perfect as you want to date someone like me? Why-”

“Stop it,” she commanded softly, now holding both of your hands within her own, “you know why, silly - I love you-”

“Look at me, Ren,” you interjected, gesticulating to what you believed to be your new mess of a fringe, but she didn’t care; why would something like that perturb her? She found it adorable, in fact, unbeknownst to you. “I’m-”

“You’re perfect, Y/n,” she contradicted, her voice full of determination as well as conviction; she didn’t like to hear that you still believed such things about yourself, and it only made her feel more hatred toward those who had spent all their time bullying you, back in high school, “you always have been; you know that, don’t you?”

You hesitated, not sure, prompting her heart to sink as she frowned, before easing you into a hug; she hated seeing you like this. You couldn’t stop yourself, as you melted into the embrace, subconsciously clinging to her jumper as you sniffled quietly, unable to fight back your emotions anymore as your face crumpled. You just wished she’d give up on you, no matter how much it hurt to think of what it would be like, losing her.

She rubbed your back, hoping it would help as she rested her chin upon your left shoulder, trying not to allow her own small tears to escape no matter how much they longed to do so; stinging her eyes, and making it hard for her to concentrate.

“I just-.. I want you to be happy, Ren,” you managed, your voice briefly trembling as she shook her head, before holding you at arm’s length, and it hurt you even more to see that she was trying not to cry, alongside you.

“I am happy,” she stated, and you would falter, evidently surprised as she lifted her right hand up to your left cheek, allowing her to brush away one of your tears delicately with her thumb, the touch leaving your skin tingling again, “Y/n, I’ve got everything I’ve ever wanted - the girl I love, a career; I’ve never wanted anything else, just-.. this.” She smiled warmly over at you, before wrapping her arms around your waist. “Us,” she cooed, her forehead affectionately connected to your own as if nothing else had ever mattered, before, as much as this moment in time did, “I love you - and I’ll never stop, I promise, no matter what; it’s you, and that’s all that matters now. Promise me you know that, or I’ll give you the silent treatment for the rest of the day.”

You raised your eyebrows again, but she didn’t let up - it was a challenge, both playful, and serious, and you couldn’t get enough of it; you couldn’t get enough of her, over and over again.

•

These were the moments you tended to think about, whenever you felt lost again. Sure, things seemed to be going okay regarding your own career, but in a way it didn’t feel like that - like, at all. You and Reneé had promised you’d do things, together, but now it felt like there was nothing left of either of you, anymore. It was your fault, though; you knew it was. You’d made the choice that you did, and now she was gone. You doubted you’d ever see her again, especially not now that a couple of years had already passed by, only leaving you worse for wear.

Alice, your remaining friend, knocked on the door to the restroom stall you were in, prompting you to jump, wince, and tense up all at the same time.

“Y/n? Is - Is that you in there?” She inquired, hopeful that it was you, and not some stranger, but she was in luck - a lot more than you felt yourself to be in, right now.

“Yeah, I’ll - I’ll be out in a minute, I just-.. I need a minute, okay?” You uttered, your voice briefly trembling as you subconsciously bowed your head a little, as if afraid of her noticing you; that your eyes were wet again, as if they’d never really dried up after everything that had happened, recently.

“Sure, but-.. are you okay? Do - Do you wanna talk about anything, at all?” She pried, her voice gentle; you knew she meant well, you just wished she’d stop - you didn’t wanna know about anything anymore. It already struck you hard enough to hear her name mentioned, sometimes; to see pictures of her, smiling, around other people. Your heart squeezed - yeah, it would probably always be hard to stop thinking about how everything used to be, between you both.

You couldn’t help, but think about how she’d kissed you so delicately, that night; how she’d carried you up the stairs like you were due to become her bride, if only you’d decided to stay. Your heart dropped again, and eyes darkened as you tried not to allow a strained sob to escape your lips, especially not with Alice on the other side; you didn’t want her to see that you were still a wreck, after what had happened; didn’t want anyone to see how weak you believed yourself to be, on both the inside, as well as the outside.

You drew in a barely audible shaky breath, before you wiped away the remainder of your tears to the best of your ability, unable to stop thinking about that night, and how you’d ended up intentionally pretending that you didn’t know that she loved you; that you doubted she’d never stop. You wondered if she didn’t care, anymore; you guessed you wouldn’t be surprised - she always seemed… happy, in the photos you saw of her following the day you’d both decided to split from each other, but you guessed you didn’t blame her - who wouldn’t be happy, to get away from someone like you?

“Alice,” you began again feebly, “please, just-”

“I know, you - you want me to go, but-”

“I’ll be out soon, okay? I’ll talk to you then-”

“She’s back,” Alice stated, sounding exasperated, and you would fall quiet, your heart skipping a beat as you glanced up at the stall door, not sure what to even think, or say anymore, but the moment didn’t last long, your doubts not wasting any time to make a comeback alongside her.

“Probably not for long,” you murmured, and Alice would frown, a pained expression on her face as she leaned against the door, wishing she could do more to make you feel better, somehow; you’d never been like this, before she’d gone; before everything had ended between you both the way they did. Even when you were being bullied, you talked a lot more than you tended to, now. You were just… a shell of yourself, and she couldn’t stand it, but she didn’t know what more she could do for you, though it hurt her to admit something like that, concerning you. “A-And probably not for me, either, so - why would you even-”

“I don’t know,” she admitted dejected, “I guess I thought maybe you already knew, or-.. or it would make you happy again; I don’t like seeing you like this, Y/n.”

You scoffed, shaking your head, before you bowed it again, your red and glistening eyes trained upon your slightly shaky and wet hands; they hadn’t got a break from your tears yet, either, that much was clear.

“I’m no different to who I was, before,” you contradicted a little sharply, Alice wincing at hearing your voice like that; like you were trying to be strong, but the pain just wouldn’t go away. She wondered why you even decided to come out today for the book signings; she wished you’d take a break, instead, to try and think about things, and reach a understanding, but you thought stuff like that was useless, so what would the point be? “Just go, Alice,” you begged, your voice strained, “I told you, I’ll come out and join you in a little while, okay? I - I just-.. I need a little time-.. y’know, to - to think. I’ve never done anything like this, before, a-and I-.. that’s all there is to it, okay? T-There’s nothing else - you know that, right? T-That I’m just nervous?”

“Sure,” Alice replied gently, not wanting to upset you anymore than she could tell she already had, bringing Reneé up again, “I’ll - I’ll meet you outside, okay?”

“Thank you,” you offered, and she smiled faintly, before returning with a barely audible ‘no problem’, and making back toward the door, but it didn’t make you feel any better, not when all you could think about was everything you wished you could do, to see, repay, and fall in love with Reneé all over again.

🜚

Once you felt able to move again, you pushed yourself up off of the toilet seat, before unlocking the stall door, and making to step out of it, only to falter when you noticed the two other women stood in front of the sink ahead of you. One looked like Reneé from behind, at first, your heart skipping a beat, until you noticed their faces in the mirror, and your heart sank. It wasn’t her. Of course it wasn’t. You drew in a shaky breath, the women appearing puzzled as well as a little judgemental in response to your action, and you tensed up, before hastily walking toward the door. You weren’t here to be distracted.

You tried to think that this was your life now; you were married to your books - your writing, that was how it would stay. Nobody would ever distract you, ever again. You drew in another strained breath, noticing Alice stood a few paces away from the queue of people waiting to received a signed version of your new book. You never thought anyone would ever want to buy something - your own work - off of you. You couldn’t help, but smile softly, a little embarrassed, but still it was nerve-wracking.

And it didn’t make it better, being reminded that Reneé wasn’t there for this moment with you. Your heart dropped again, and your eyes darkened, everything inside you feeling as if it were aching, or being squeezed, but you guessed it was okay - at least you were here, now, no matter how much your heart screamed in agony at the reminder of the decision you’d made, a little while ago, now.

“Y/n, c’mon!” Alice encouraged, evidently excited as you smiled faintly back at her. A weird thought struck you, then - why couldn’t you feel anything for her? Why did your heart only react to the thought of Reneé? You faltered in response to it, before wincing, and shaking your head - you only hoped the queue didn’t notice such a reaction from you. You didn’t hesitate, taking your seat, a few piles of your books - arranged incredibly neatly - stationed in front of you, alongside a pen, laying a few paces away from your right hand. “You’ve got this,” she cooed, in a quieter voice, before gently squeezing your left shoulder, “I’ll just be over here, okay? Y’know, just if - if you need me - don’t hesitate to give me a call, and I’ll come running to help, I promise.”

“Thank you, Alice,” you replied, and she beamed back at you, before rushing back to where she was, before, whilst the security began to open up the roping around your seat, and the chaos began all over again.

🜸

Little did you know, Reneé had found herself stood outside of the very library you and Alice were in, now, her heart racing a little; she hadn’t seen you in what felt like more than two years - two decades; she hadn’t heard your voice in a timeframe even longer than that. She sighed subconsciously, before timidly taking a few steps closer to the double doors stood before her; she just hoped you weren’t still mad at her, especially not now that she’d been hoping to become friends with you, again, even after all this time.

🜸

You couldn’t believe how many people you ended up speaking to; how many copies had been, and gone. You never thought anyone would smile at you, as if you mattered - well, not after Reneé, and Alice. Your heart sank, just for a moment; it did that, whenever you thought about how things were, before. A pained expression crossed your face, but you tried to hide it, remembering someone else had pre-brought a copy for today, so instead you forced a smile again, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes.

“Alice, when this is over, should we-?” You faltered, hearing someone coming, before you cleared your throat, and Alice tensed up a few paces away from you for a reason unbeknownst to you, until you heard her voice, and were forced to remember everything again.

🜚

“Ren,” you whispered, before wincing, and standing up a little, “w-what are you-”

“I bought your book,” she stated simply, a soft smile tugging at the corners of her lips, and you would tilt your head partially, your eyes full of confusion and disbelief - you didn’t think she’d ever come back here for you, let alone to appreciate your work, “by the way, I would love it if you wrote some extra cringy shit in mine, if you know what I mean - y’know, just between you and me.”

You just couldn’t believe it, your heart pounding too fast; it was terrifying, how fast it was racing, but at the same time, you couldn’t help, but love every second of it, almost as much as you-

No - you wouldn’t think such things anymore; you wouldn’t let yourself feel anything for her again; you couldn’t. You drew in a barely audible shaky breath, before you shrugged, sat back down, and took up the book she bought, making to write anything you could in there, fitting somewhat her description.

“Fuck,” you uttered, the pen slipping from your shaky right hand, “shit, I - I’m so-”

“Let me get it for you,” Alice proposed, but Reneé bent down to pick it up before she could, and you didn’t know what to think or even feel anymore, your heart still racing much too fast, and eyes locked with her’s; everything felt much too numb, your skin too tingly, especially as she offered the pen back to you, and you didn’t hesitate to accept it from her, your fingertips brushing her own.

You couldn’t stop it, how that moment took you back to that night. Your heart squeezed, before you bowed your head a little; before you put pen to paper, small tears clouding your vision all over again.

•

“I missed you,” she cooed, the fingers of her left hand entangled blissfully within your hair, now a little sticky against your forehead as you smirked over at her, your eyelids fluttering a little as she leaned forward to delicately press a kiss to your left cheek, only flustering you even more as you admired her in this new light; the shadows on her, as you blocked out the bedroom lamp partially, contrasting the warm light displaying the remainder of her soft face.

“Clearly,” you replied suggestively, and she smirked over at you, before passionately kissing you again, “I love you, Ren.”

“I love you, too,” she responded gently, after the next delicate kiss ended; she couldn’t help, but find herself addicted to your lips, “I always have, and I’m sorry, Y/n, that - that I never told you, before-”

“Ren-”

“Just know that I’ll never stop loving you, okay? No matter what happens, after today; no matter how this whole - y’know - touring stuff turns out, it’ll always be you for me, no matter what,” she added, determined to keep you beside her, no matter what, “it’s always gonna be us - you know that, right?”

You smiled softly over at her, your eyes watering a little as she gently caressed your left cheek.

“I know,” you replied, “why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know, I guess I just wanted to-.. I wanted to hear you say it,” she answered, and you would appear surprised, as well as a little flustered, your heart skipping a beat again, “and now that you have, I’m happy - you don’t have to do it again, unless you want to.”

“I want to,” you stated confidently, and she couldn’t help, but grin sheepishly over at you again, her eyes sparkling a little in the light, “I’ll always want to - so, h-here you go, I guess. I love you, Ren, a-and of course I know; I’ve always known, that it would be your side I’d want to stick by, no matter what, and that’s never going to change, I promise - c’mere.”

“Sure,” she responded, no hesitations at all, as you beamed over at her, giggling softly as you wrapped your arms around her waist, and she gave into your embrace, allowing you to ease her closer to you to kiss her again, through you still got shy sometimes to do so, feeling as if you might mess up, someday, if you even tried your best, but it relieved you, to have her melt into the kiss, as if it weren’t something you felt could be disappointing, to her. You expressed relief, smiling against her lips - this was one of your favourite times to think about; you just wished you could do more for her, somehow; if only you didn’t feel worlds apart, anymore.

•

You didn’t realise tears were leaking down your cheeks, until you winced, noticing one had dropped down onto the book. Alice frowned, noticing the pained expression on your face, whilst Reneé looked like she was struggling to stay where she was. She longed to throw her arms around you, and nothing had ever been as hard to do, as not doing exactly that was.

“I - I’m sorry, Ren - I mean, Reneé, that was - that was stupid of me,” you murmured dejectedly, and Reneé would hastily shake her head, her heart aching as soon as she heard your voice trembling the way it did, a brief moment ago, “do you want me to get a new book, or-?”

“No,” she reassured you hastily, sounding more sure than she ever had, before, “I - I love it already, I promise; don’t worry about it. I, erm - I just..”

“Ren, what-.. what are you even doing, here?” You questioned, and she would appear taken aback, her eyes darkening as she looked away from you, and god you wished you could take it back, as soon as the words had slipped from your lips the way that they did.

“I wanted to see you,” she answered truthfully, and you would tilt your head partially, clearly surprised, and that only hurt her more, “Y/n, when - when I heard about your first book, I-”

“You can’t just be here, for me,” you contradicted feebly, your voice close to a whisper, “why would you-?”

“Why can’t I?” She inquired, trying hard not to let her own voice shake, as you tensed up, not sure how to respond as you bowed your head; you didn’t want to hurt her again, though you didn’t why she, or anyone else would care, if they heard about all that went on inside your head; your heart. It wasn’t important; you weren’t important, and that was all you knew, now. “Y/n-”

“I’m not enough,” you uttered, and she faltered, her heart dropping as her breath hitched in her throat, her eyes full of the pain she was feeling, but trying desperately not to show, “I-.. I was never-”

“You didn’t wanna come with me,” she interjected faintly, “I asked you, but you-”

“You wouldn’t have been happy,” you retorted, “Reneé, everything I’ve ever done, has been for you, a-and I-.. I-..”

Your face crumpled, and you couldn’t hold it back anymore as you began to cry quietly, hastily looking away as you didn’t want her to see you like that, but it was too late. She hastily shook her head, before she meandered around the table, and threw her arms around you; she couldn’t just let you suffer, like that, even after everything that had happened between you both, recently.

“I’m sorry, I - I’m so-”

“No, Ren,” you contradicted shakily, “i-it’s not-.. it’s not your fault, okay? It’s mine, I-.. It’s all-”

“I never stopped,” she whispered, her voice cracking a little against your scalp, “I-.. I could never-..”

You tensed up again, shaking your head, before you sniffled barely audibly, and pulled away from her, though it hurt you to do so, especially when you noticed the flicker of pain that crossed her own face again.

“I need to go,” you murmured, your voice hardly there anymore, “I just-.. I can’t - your book’s done; you can take it now.”

“But-”

“Go, Ren!” You cried, and she would fall quiet, before grimacing a little in your direction, though it even hurt her to do that, especially when you looked like you were so close to break down again.

“Okay,” she replied, shrugging as if she were unperturbed, though her heart was aching, too, alongside your own, “I’ll - I’ll go, but.. I have a few days, here, so.. if you want, you - you could-..” She sighed, and you stared down at the ground, not sure what to do with yourself, anymore. “It’s up to you,” she reassured gently, “I, erm.. I’m - I’ve gotta go, now, so - y’know, I’ll see you around maybe, right?”

“See you around,” you managed, before forcing a smile back at her, but it wasn’t very convincing; you hated yourself for everything, and that would never change, especially not after today.

🜚

“You did the right thing,” Alice began, and you would wince, your eyes darkening again as you tried not to look over at her, a pained expression on your face, “she shouldn’t have just turned up like that-”

“I thought you were happy,” you murmured, “you - you said that maybe her coming back would make me happy-”

“Did it?” She questioned, and you would falter, looking up at her skeptically, whilst she herself winced, too, not daring to look over at you though she knew she probably should, right now, if you were to not grow suspicious of her, and her secretly forming own feelings for you.

“Do I look happy to you?” You retorted, and she would frown, before she shook her head gravely. “W-Why would you even.. wait a minute,” you mused, “are you jealous?”

Alice couldn’t help, but scowl, gritting her teeth a little as she shook her head, though she couldn’t deny that there was a secret part of her burning with everything she longed to do for you to make you happy again; to try and make you forget, and move on from Reneé, but that was something you doubted would ever happen, especially considering you’d spent years practically growing up alongside her. It still surprised you to say it, but it didn’t take someone a long time to fall in love with the person they believed to be their soulmate.

You didn’t doubt - no matter how much it hurt - that she would ever stop being that for you. You drew in a barely audible shaky breath, before you turned to fully face Alice, who bowed her head, not sure what to say, now, but at the same time she was terrified, knowing that if she told the truth, you may never want to be around her, again, especially not after Reneé had come back the way she did, today.

“Why would I be jealous?” Alice retorted, sounding way too pissed off to be genuine, right now.

“Alice,” you cooed, but she shook her head dejectedly, not wanting to break down, now, “talk to me-”

“I need to go,” she spat, and you would falter, a hurt look on your face as she sped ahead, leaving you a few paces behind her, before she disappeared around the corner, and you felt lost all over again.

🜚

It didn’t take you long to break down again, tears streaming down your cheeks as you walked back toward the library, the rain pouring down around you like it were cursing you for just existing. You wiped your eyes again, sick of crying; sick of being so - weak, especially whenever you thought of Reneé; of how she smiled so brightly at you; of how her eyes glinted whenever you found yourself within the centre of them. You drew in a shaky breath, taking out your keys to the establishment; Alice had lent you a spare pair, considering she trusted you, and her brother was the owner.

What better way to try and get lost, somewhere away from this grey reality, than by reading a book or two, right? You sighed, taking off your coat as soon as you’d got into the establishment, and you shortly returned to the corner you liked to sit in sometimes with one of your favourites - ‘Wolfsong’, by T.J Klune. You smiled softly, looking down at the cover - yeah, this should do it, temporarily. You grimaced at the word, wanting to live for as long as you could within this moment, as you opened the cover, and faltered when a small note dropped out of it.

Your heart skipped a beat - not because it had scared you, but because it was a little - well, to say the least - exciting. You raised your eyebrows tentatively, wondering what it could be; had someone left a receipt, again? Could they have tried to reserve it? Was it a secret note, for someone else? Such possibilities kept circling your mind, and you couldn’t help, but feel guilty as you unravelled the piece of paper, your heart pounding uncomfortably within your chest - you couldn’t deny there was an element of.. familiarity, within such an action.

It reminded you of when Reneé had started leaving you little folded up notes like this one, back when you both were going to high school together. You sighed, trying to force the memory out of your mind. You didn’t have time for memories like that, anymore. You straightened the note upon the table, looking around as if you could be persecuted for doing so, before you began to read its contents. You appeared puzzled, at first, seeing only the words:

‘Come find me.’ You shrugged; they were scribbled across the white of the page before you. You sighed, a little disappointed; you knew it was probably some stupid trick, as you made to fold the page back up again, until you noticed another bit of writing on the back of it. Your heart jumped again, and you wished you could get it to stop, sick of feeling it doing anything, recently, since it had only ever caused you heaps and heaps of pain, ever since you’d first lost Reneé, only to see her again today and be reminded of every single reason why you fell in love with her, in the first place. A pained expression crossed your face, and you cursed yourself for thinking about her again; for thinking maybe she could still want you. You broke it, and that couldn’t be undone, anymore; not when you knew she’d be better off, without someone like you beside her. You traced the next instalment, it only leaving you further puzzled than the first message did as you read it slowly over and over again, trying to figure out if you knew what it meant, or not. ‘214 Ariadna Ochoa St’. Your gaze lingered on the letters ‘st’ - that was all you understood, so far. It had to be some address, right? But why would it be in this book, specifically? You subconsciously looked down at the book again, and you couldn’t help, but smile weakly, remembering when Reneé had bought you a signed copy for your 18th birthday.

Your blood ran cold - what if this was her doing? You examined the writing again, trying to see if you recognised it, and you couldn’t deny that it did look familiar, but whose to say her handwriting hadn’t changed, since then? No, it couldn’t be her’s; why would she even bother? Your heart dropped within your chest again, and you winced, before setting both the book and note aside, intending to log into one of the computers, wondering if maybe you could look up the street name on there, instead of going on a completely wild and blind goose chase.

You hastily typed your email into the device followed by your password, desperate to figure at least one thing out, today, before you could give up, and feel bad about it. The result didn’t surprise you - it was a street, and it wasn’t too far away from here. The most interesting thing about it, however, was that it was a stretch beside a trailer park. Your heart skipped a beat, and you almost released an inner squeal; you’d always wanted to own a trailer within one of those, but you’d been scared of doing so, considering you knew you needed quite a bit of space for everything you already owned. Items that a trailer may not be able to hold efficiently, or neatly. So this stranger lived in a trailer park? You wondered if you should go so far as to try and do as the note was telling you to, but at the same time, you feared maybe it were just some cruel trick. That’s why you picked up another book, this time - a Brontë book, by which sister you didn’t check - only to find that there was nothing within it, that looked out of place. Just out of further curiosity, you moved along to where T.J Klune’s ‘Brothersong’ was perched, and you were both surprised, and unsurprised, to see there was nothing inside it, but a sticky-note saying: ‘have you read me, yet?’

🜸

Earlier that day, Reneé pulled up outside of the trailer park, her heart still racing, and fingers struggling not to tremble. She sighed, after turning off the engine, and looking over her right shoulder at the bag she’d brought back with her. She couldn’t help, but smile softly over at it, before she undid her seatbelt, and reached for it, the colourful sticky-notes and small sheets of paper remaining shifting within it, as she got out of her car, and made for the trailer labelled ‘214’.

🜸

You couldn’t help, but stare down at the sticky note, your heart beating too fast, and eyes watering a little again as you drew in a barely audible shaky breath. Before you’d lost each other, you hadn’t got onto the fourth book, yet. You didn’t hesitate to take down the one before - ‘Heartsong’. You flipped open the cover, your eyes trailing over the next sticky note whilst your mouth moved silently, forming the words: ‘I remember you told me you were happy when Jessie and Dominique got together’. You moved onto the next one, ‘Ravensong’ - ‘I think you said this one was frustrating, but you loved it all the same when Gordo and Mark buried the hatchet’.

Your heart stopped, for a moment; or it felt like it did - those were exactly your words, when you were describing the book to her. You almost dropped it - and certainly would have - if you didn’t recompose yourself enough to quickly put it back on the shelf, before you rushed back over to the table you were sitting at, before, not sure what to do with yourself. You leaned against it heavily, small tears running down your cheeks as your face began to feel too hot again; you guessed you still weren’t used to it; how it felt, to remember everything even after all this time.

You bowed your head, fighting back the strained sob that longed to escape you, before your gaze trailed over to the first note. To the address - ‘214 Ariadna Ochoa st’, and you knew what you had to do, no matter how much it scared you, as you picked up your coat again, before making your way back out, and hoping Alice wouldn’t mind that you’d left ‘Wolfsong’ on the desk, just for now. Until you came back, at least.

🜚

You ran to your car, waiting for you just around the corner, from here; you were scared she’d disappear again, otherwise, if you took too long. You quickly got in, before turning the engine on, and directing it out of the parking lot. Your hands didn’t fail to shake, all the way there.

🜸

Reneé spent a lot of the time she’d had since she got back anxiously waiting - for what, she didn’t know. She couldn’t be sure you’d seen her notes, she’d just been-.. hopeful, that you might. Unless you were different, from the girl she’d known you to be, before. She sighed, subconsciously pacing as she tried to find things to do, but they didn’t take her mind off of everything she wished she could tell you, but didn’t know how to, yet, especially not after the way things had ended, between you both.

🜸

At some points of the journey, you admit you may have been driving just a bit faster than you knew you should, but you couldn’t stop yourself. You had to see her again, you just wished you knew, before another pair of headlights came toward you, that you should have been more careful, than you turned out being, in the first place.

🜸

It started off as a bad feeling. That was all she could remember, leaning heavily over the bathroom sink like she did the night you were styling your fringes together. You could still see that moment, even when everything was dark; blurry - even as blood ran down your forehead, your muscles aching excruciatingly. It never stopped the smile forming on your lips - nothing ever could, when you found yourself thinking about her, again.

🜚

When you woke up, you found yourself in a blurry haze. The medics on scene were treating you, whilst your ears rang, and heart sang. You barely registered the situation - you weren’t exactly headachy, but there was a painful void there, where you thought everything was before. Except, this time, you couldn’t figure out what it was, nothing making sense anymore. You winced, feeling the paramedics around you trying to pick you up, whilst people surrounding the area were all either shouting or talking in anxious and hurried voices.

You didn’t know why, but you couldn’t figure out or think about a lot right now. All you could see, in this makeshift hellhole, was a blurry figure a little far away, almost up in the sky. You stared up at the scene, the moon glaring back at you as if it were an invasion of privacy. You smiled weakly, your eyebrows furrowing as another figure came into view. And then another, but this one was closer, this time. You tilted your head partially, but it ached to make such a movement, your neck weak, and feeling as if it were on fire; unstable.

The paramedic stood to the right of you held your head in place, but you were desperate to see more; desperate to make some sense of the the unknowable. The new figure was gone, as soon as it appeared - you groaned, feeling too light, but you were scared that it would hurt, if the wind took you away anywhere, as you tried desperately to stay grounded, no longer trusting the gravity that was meant to be holding you down, alongside the paramedics who wouldn’t let go of you; keep their eyes off you, until you were laid down upon another stretcher, and you couldn’t see the moon anymore.

The figures never left you, though. They were just blurrier than they were, before. You strained your eyes to see them, but it didn’t help much - you scowled, frustrated. It didn’t take you long to give up, entirely, as your eyelids fluttered shut again, and all you could hear was the sirens above you, ringing out their dreadful song, over and over and over again.

🜚

“Can’t you stay a little longer?” You heard, before you were transported to another hazy scene.

•

A pretty woman was standing before you, and just that fact seemed to make your heart pound. She smiled softly in your direction, the action bright, warm, and full of care; it was too much, and it almost made you break into a panic, if the moment didn’t feel so familiar. She lifted her right hand up to your left cheek, and you shuddered, your eyes locked with her’s; it was impossible to look away. Impossible to even speak, and breathing - well, what was going on with your lungs was another story, entirely.

“I love you,” she cooed, and your heart stopped; her voice was even more beautiful than anything you’d ever heard before, and you didn’t miss how her eyes sparkled, prompting your heart to skip a beat again as your lips parted a little subconsciously to aid you in your staggered breathing pattern.

“I love you, too,” you returned feebly, your voice close to a shaky and exasperated whisper; it was foreign to you, at first - almost as if you’d already forgotten your own voice, after hearing her’s again, though you still weren’t sure who she was. You couldn’t remember a number of things, after you’d hit your head on the steering wheel, the airbag failing to inflate in time. You sighed; a thing of comfort, full of content, as she drew her thumb gently over your bottom lip.

“I really want to kiss you, right now,” she admitted, and your skin tingled, whilst you subconsciously raised your eyebrows, as if you weren’t in control, during this moment in time - it was only a memory after all, right? You couldn’t be sure, inside, but you didn’t know much anymore, now, so who’s to say it isn’t exactly that?

“Then do it,” you encouraged, and she couldn’t help, but smirk, only making your heart pound even faster, as your head began to spin, “what are you waiting for? Has a cat got your tongue, or something?”

“Almost,” she answered, and you couldn’t help, but giggle softly, as she drew closer to you, wrapping her arms lovingly around your waist, as if you were delicate, and could easily be broken if ever she lost control, and got too rough with you, “but not enough to stop me from telling you that - as much as I’d love for you to have my tongue right now - I can’t help, but think that I wish we could stay like this together, forever - just a bit, y’know. Nothing too extreme - god, sorry, that sounded awful actually-”

“I liked it,” you reassured her gently, and she appeared a little flustered alongside you, her eyes glinting even more as she smiled sheepishly over at you, blood rushing to her cheeks. You wished you could tell her everything, even if you didn’t know her yet, or anymore. You wished you could stay here with her - no more moving, no more sleeping; just in this moment, too - just existing, with her beside you, like you’d spent your entire life with her, this whole time, without even realising it yet. You wanted to tell her so many things, but your tongue wouldn’t allow you to voice everything you wished to do so, during this moment in time.

“Good,” she replied brightly, her forehead affectionately brushing against your own as you beamed back at her, wondering how red your face must be, right now, “because I like hearing whatever you tell me, whenever you have something you wanna tell me - sorry if that made no sense, I realise it might sound weird I just-”

You shook your head, before leaning forward to delicately press your lips to her’s, silencing her instantly as she faltered, before melting into the kiss, her eyelids fluttering shut alongside your own. You smiled faintly against her lips, wondering how anything could be as soft as they were. You lifted your arms to rest on her shoulders, your right hand in her hair, but before the scene could progress, someone was shouting somewhere outside, and it didn’t take long for you to gradually wake up again, your eyelids-

•

You faltered, feeling someone holding your hand to the right of your limp frame. Your eyes would have shot open, if your eyelids allowed them to. Instead, they opened gradually, still heavy, and dark, but they opened nevertheless. Your vision was too blurry, at first; your neck too achy, still, to allow you to look over to your right and see who it was, holding your hand the way that they were so gently, now, as if you were all that mattered, during this moment in time.

“She got hit,” another unfamiliar voice chimed, every layer of it shaky, and close to a whisper, as if the figure it came from was trying not to break down, over what had happened to you.

“She didn’t get hit,” another contradicted, sounding a little frustrated, as well as exasperated, but it still managed to send a shiver of warmth throughout your body, regardless, as if you’d heard her voice, before, somewhere. “They said they got her out of her car, Alice,” she continued, and the other would scowl - at least, it looked as if she were scowling; you couldn’t determine much of what was going on, but it didn’t sound like they were happy with each other.

“A-Almost the same thing, though,” the other figure retorted, before adding under her breath: “maybe if you’d not come back and surprised us like that-”

“I heard that, by the way,” Reneé uttered, but she didn’t dare look up at Alice, her eyes focused on you, though her vision was blurry from crying, and she looked like she needed sleep more than ever, right now.

“Well maybe you were supposed to, Ren,” she spat, and Reneé tensed up upon hearing the nickname again, it only reminding her of how things used to be, before she’d lost you, as well as Alice. She sighed, before shaking her head; she couldn’t take it anymore - if this was how things were going to be, she feared maybe they would never go back to the way that they were, no matter how much she longed to be as close to you as she was, back then.

Even hanging out with Alice was fun, though she didn’t dare admit to her or you that she sometimes got jealous of her, considering she’d been your friend for not so long, and she’d always been close to you, too.

“I’m gonna go,” she stated, trying desperately to not allow her voice to tremble, no matter how much it was threatening to do so, right now.

“So you’re leaving again?” Alice accused, and Reneé faltered, a hurt look on her face as she stopped a few paces before who she thought was her friend, too, until now.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She questioned, but before Alice could continue, she shook her head, deciding she didn’t want to hear it, for fear of how much pain it would leave her in, after today. “Y‘know what? Fuck it,” she concluded, before meandering around Alice, and making quickly down the hallway - her eyes were already stinging again, and she didn’t feel like being scolded by Alice for things she never did, to you, as well as her.

You appeared dejected, seeing that she’d gone; feeling that her hand was no longer holding your own. Your heart sank, and you allowed your eyes to close again, for a moment even wishing that maybe they’d never open anymore, if she decided to never come back to you, again.

🜚

“She-.. suffered a concussion, or - I guess you could say - is still suffering one,” your doctor informed Alice, stood outside of your room; they didn’t want to worry you, but the doctor knew she should let you know eventually, about your complex situation, without confusing you even more than you appeared to be, now, after the crash had taken place, “she, er - looking at her recent scans, it is clear there is a mild form of amnesia forming as a result of the trauma to her brain, in the accident - does she have anyone she can stay with for a little, at all, after we figure out what she wants to be done regarding her arm?”

Alice frowned, appearing a little guilty as she bowed her head, remembering she had to leave town, soon - at least in a couple of days, to go and see her family on vacation. Obviously, she wouldn’t have made such plans, if she knew that this would end up happening to you, the way that it did, but life is full of terrible surprises - that much had always been clear.

“I’m meant to be seeing my family, back at home, in a couple of days - I can’t-”

“It’s okay,” the doctor reassured her gently, not wanting to panic her, though she did look a little worried, herself, hearing this news; oftentimes it wasn’t safe to leave a patient like you alone after the brain trauma you’d experienced, not too long ago, now, “is - is there anyone else, at all? Does she have family, living nearby?”

Alice sighed, trying not to appear frustrated though it was clear she was, right now - you didn’t have any immediate family living here, with you; you’d been trying to get away from them for a while, regardless, after your experiences with them. It wasn’t to say they were bad people, but you always felt trapped, before, and you still found it frustrating to think about how your dad had ended up responding to your coming out, a few years ago, now.

“Not-.. immediate family,” she began apprehensively, trying not to grunt, “not even family at all, but.. I can think of someone, and I doubt she’d pass up on taking care of Y/n for a little while, so..”

“Great,” she responded, appearing definitely more relieved than she was, before, to see your wounds treated, as well as scan true to her previous hypothesis, “who is this you have in mind?”

🜸

Reneé pulled back into the trailer park, though she felt bad for leaving; she didn’t like being away from you, especially when you were in a state like that. She sighed, running her right hand across her face, before she switched off the engine, and hoped for a distraction. However, the distraction that came wasn’t one she’d expected - her phone began to buzz in her bag, and she didn’t know what to think, when she saw that the one who was calling her was Alice, as if they’d not fought like they had, earlier.

🜚

She didn’t know what to say, when the call came through; as she stared down at the phone, her heart pounding a little as her hands trembled slightly. She tilted her head partially, before scoffing, and making to reject the call, but something within her didn’t allow her to do so as she continued to stare down at the screen, a lump forming within her throat. She sighed, before shrugging, and uttering ‘fuck it’, as she brought herself back together, before answering the call.

🜸

Alice appeared relieved, upon hearing Reneé’s voice.

“Hey,” she began, a little exasperatedly, lingering by the doorway of the room the doctors had stationed you in.

“So you’re calling me, now?” She questioned, and Alice faltered, a pained expression on her face as she looked toward you, through the window allowing her a glimpse into the room.

“It’s not for me,” she answered simply, and Reneé tensed up, her expression softening, “it’s for Y/n - she needs you, Ren, now more than ever - so you can either show up, this time, again, or you can go. I don’t want you to tell me what you’re going to do - just-.. do something, okay? You’ve got until midnight to come back - if you don’t come, I’ll try and find someone else for her. See you around.”

She then ended the call, and Reneé faltered again, a hurt look on her face as she tried to think, but didn’t know what to do with herself. She obviously wasn’t pleased that Alice was still blaming her for what happened, before, but she didn’t want to leave you to suffer alone, regardless of whether you told Alice that she’d left you, or not. She grunted, trying to push away her doubts as she shook her head, before turning the key in the engine again - if she was going to try and make things right between you both, she’d better start now, right? Before it could get to being too late to do so, all over again.

🜚

Alice guessed she wasn’t surprised, when Reneé appeared at the door to your room, her heart skipping a beat as soon as she saw you, before her gaze fell onto Alice holding your hand, like she was before she’d gone. She tried not to frown, instead looking away, whilst Alice awkwardly shuffled in her seat, you wincing when your arm was moved just a bit, prompting Alice to appear guilty as she quickly withdrew her hand from your’s, not wanting to cause you any discomfort like she feared she just had, a brief moment ago.

“That was-.. you’re-”

“I came as soon as I could,” Reneé explained exasperatedly, her voice barely audible, and Alice would nod slowly, before murmuring a quiet ‘clearly’, as she got up from her seat, before inviting Reneé to sit in her place, knowing it would only be right to do so, as long as she saw to that you were comfortable, but it looked as if you were nervous, regardless, watching the two of them anxiously as if you’d never seen them before in any of your lifetimes. “Alice, I-”

“Just - sit down there with her, Ren,” she insisted, and Reneé hesitated, before nodding, and meandering around the bed, to sit beside you. “I - she needs you more, right now,” she mused, though it hurt her a little to say that, “if she’s gonna be seeing you a lot more, after today.”

Reneé raised her eyebrows, glancing up at Alice.

“You said she needs me,” she began timidly, “what do you mean by that? Did - Did she ask for me, at all?” Alice frowned, warily glancing down at you with a pained expression on her face, only making Reneé’s heart sink as she began to realise why she might have been called here. She looked down at you, her heart aching as you seemed to survey her tiredly, as if you were trying to figure out who she was; as if you didn’t know her anymore, like you were supposed to, and obviously would have, before the accident had taken place. “Y/n?” She began, leaning forward a little urgently, only for you to appear puzzled, as if you didn’t even recognise your own name anymore. “Hey, do - do you know where you are, right now? Do you know me? Y/n-”

“Ren,” Alice began weakly, “she doesn’t-”

“No, Alice, she - she can’t have just forgot about everything, like that,” Reneé protested, her eyes never leaving your’s, “she can’t just forget us-”

“Well she has,” Alice retorted sharply, her voice briefly cracking, and she soon couldn’t take it anymore as she shook her head, before storming out of the room, not wanting to cry in front of either of you.

Reneé didn’t know what to do, her eyes darkening as she felt lost for a moment, all of a sudden, something she’d never felt before, for a little while, until this moment in time.

“I-.. no, you - you can’t have-.. you said you wouldn’t forget,” she uttered, and you frowned, noticing the hurt look on her face; you’d never intended to hurt her like you could tell you had, your heart sinking alongside your own, despite you no longer knowing her no matter how much you wished you did.

“I’m sorry,” you managed, your voice weaker than she’d ever heard it before, “I.. if I knew-”

“No,” Reneé began gently, and your heart skipped a beat as she leaned closer again, her right hand holding your left one, “it’s okay - you - you need to rest, okay? You’re safe, now, and you always will be, no matter what, because I-.. I’ll never leave you, I promise.”

“I wish I knew you,” you admitted dejectedly, sounding a little frustrated, and Reneé couldn’t help, but smile feebly over at you as she nodded slowly, the thumb of her right hand delicately drawing circles upon the back of your hand, as if you were all that mattered, right now.

“I can imagine,” she stated, “I mean - who wouldn’t want to know me, right?” You couldn’t help, but allow your smile to grow, whilst she beamed over at you, glad to see you smiling again, after everything, even if you knew her, or had truly forgotten about her like she feared you had. “Don’t worry,” she continued softly, “there’s plenty of time to start again, right?”

You hesitated, before nodding slowly, through it pained you to think that maybe there were memories, like the one you’d seen, before this moment in time, with a woman who looked almost identical to her kissing you, except the one who had been in such a hazy scene was a little blurry, but you guessed that didn’t surprise you. You didn’t even know her, anyway, so you weren’t sure why you couldn’t let it go - how it had felt, being there with her. Being here, with this other - or possibly even same - stranger.

“My name’s-..” You blanked, appearing puzzled, and Reneé’s heart sank again; you couldn’t even remember your own name, though you’d forgotten about that fact, even, and had appeared confident, until you’d forgotten about your current situation, the way you just had, and wished you never could again.

“Y/n,” she cooed gently, “your - your name is Y/n; it always has been, well - obviously, y-y’know.”

You smiled sheepishly over at her again, finding it cute, her stammer in response to her own clarification. You were too focused on her eyes, to acknowledge that blood was rushing up to your cheeks.

“Right,” you mused, trying not to laugh, “I - I guessed that much, but-.. thank you, anyway - it - it really helps. I mean, why wouldn’t it help? K-Knowing your own name?” Crap. Now you were doing it, too, and Reneé couldn’t help, but smirk over at you, evidently amused by your reaction. She also couldn’t help, but find it adorable - how she still managed to fluster you, even after all this time.

“That’s a good point,” she answered, “and don’t worry, I’m here to help, as much as I possibly can. In that case, I guess it would be helpful for me to tell you my name, too?” She offered you her free hand, and you would appear surprised, glancing up at her again though it freaked your heart out to allow your gaze to meet her own bright orbs.

“Y-Yeah, that - that would be great, actually, I - I mean - yes, please,” you answered, whilst silently cringing and cursing yourself for being so weak, around her, though you couldn’t figure out if you’d ever met her, before.

“My name’s Reneé,” she offered, and you would subconsciously revel in hearing such a name; how beautiful it sounded, especially when she was saying it, too, with her soft voice, and warm eyes, “it’s nice to meet you.”

You timidly held her hand, allowing her to delicately shake your own, though she was still scared of hurting you, somehow, after seeing you react to Alice’a movement the way you did, earlier.

“It - It’s nice to meet you, too,” you returned, “I - I er.. I’m-”

“Cat got your tongue, already?” She teased, and your heart skipped a beat, especially when you were reminded of the scene you’d witnessed, before your eyelids had fluttered open, not too long ago, now.

‘Has a cat got your tongue, or something?’ You remembered saying, a thoughtful expression on your face as she tilted her head partially, wondering what you might be thinking about, right now.

“No, but - I don’t know,” you murmured, wincing as you did, and Reneé smiled sadly over at you, before she nodded gravely, and delicately squeezed your hand, not wanting you to waste your energy too much, especially when you needed it to get better for her, “sorry-”

“It’s okay, don’t worry,” she reassured you gently, “we’ll get there, I promise, but - for now - we need to focus on getting you better, right? Here, let me help you with that.” She picked up the glass of water for you, and you smiled your thanks to her as she eased it up to your lips, helping you drink from it slowly, but surely.

“Thank you,” you responded, your eyes brightening as she set the glass back down, “I - t-that was-”

“You’re welcome,” she replied brightly, and her smile made you wonder if you were about to have a heart attack, again, “now, get some sleep until the doctor comes back, okay?”

“But-”

“Please?” Reneé practically pleaded with you, and you would sigh, before nodding slowly, and resting your head back upon the pillow.

“Sure, but just know - I’m not doing this because I want to,” you clarified, and she couldn’t help, but grin again, evidently amused by your statement, “and I’ll make it so that you regret it one day, because of that.”

“Wow, I’m scared,” she claimed, whilst you scoffed, trying not to giggle again, “that was quite a big threat you made, right there, but hey - I’ll see what I think of what you have in store first, before I myself make any rash decisions, alright?”

“Whatever, Renny,” you teased, and she smirked over at you, before allowing her head to lower again, though she would rather keep her gaze locked upon you, than let her gaze flow over to anywhere else, right now.

🜚

As soon as Alice had got back, Reneé got up to guide her out of the room, worried about waking you up, if she spoke to her right now, whilst you were resting.

“Thank you, for calling me,” she stated, before her old friend could protest, “if you didn’t, I - I’d probably never know that-”

“I should be thanking you, Ren,” Alice mused, “I-.. you made the choice to come back, and if you didn’t-.. I really don’t know what would have happened, to Y/n - where she would go, or what she would do, after today, but.. we don’t need to worry about that anymore, right? You - Can - Can you stay with her, or-?”

Reneé hesitated, knowing she’d have to sort some things out, but she wasn’t at all reluctant, whenever it came to making decisions about your safety, as she grinned, before nodding, and answering with ‘sure’, relieving Alice as she smiled weakly back at her, before gesticulating back toward the room, but Reneé felt maybe it would be better, giving you some time alone for a bit, as she led Alice away from the door, and suggested that the two get a coffee, before they go back and check on you again.

🜚

“Thank you, again,” Alice stated, as she held open the passenger car door for Reneé to help you into it - this was, of course, after a few more hours of rest, and examination, but you were otherwise a bit more stable than you were, now. “You’re helping us both out, a lot,” she added truthfully; a little exasperatedly, whilst a soft smile played on her lips.

“Don’t mention it,” she responded gently, as you leaned back into the seat, wishing your head weren’t so cloudy after the accident had occurred, “thank you, too, because if you didn’t call me-”

“I know,” Alice reassured her friend, “don’t worry - you or Y/n would have done the same for me, I know you would. Now get your sorry asses out of here, before I kick the both of them away.”

“No comments in response to that, for sure,” Reneé remarked, smirking as she did, before she opened the door on the driver’s side of her car, her window open a little as she closed it again. “Oh, by the way - tell your family ‘hi’ from me,” she requested, and Alice would raise her eyebrows, before Reneé looked back toward your sleepy frame, “from the both of us - could you?”

“Sure,” Alice replied, without hesitation, “why not?”

“Thanks,” Reneé returned, before she turned on the engine, and began to pull out of the parking lot, managing a final wave in Alice’s direction, before the car disappeared around the corner, and the journey back to the almost valley of death trailer park began again, you occasionally drifting off with every turn that was taken, until you’d both finally arrived back, and your eyelids began to open up slowly again.

🜚

She was glad she didn’t have to wake you up, by herself; she didn’t have the heart to do it - you’d looked so peaceful, sleeping in the seat beside her. She smiled softly, noticing your eyelids half-open, as if you were still trying to catch up on the sleep people would believe you’d lost since the accident, if they saw you like this, right now, when she knew otherwise, but she didn’t blame you for needing more rest, after what you’d been through recently.

She wished she could find out how the accident happened, though the thought made her heart sink; she was scared maybe you’d find it on purpose - that maybe it could have been on your way to her? Or it could have been done just on your way home? Who’s to say it wasn’t done like that? She tried not to think about it, delicately resting her left hand upon your right shoulder as you yawned, before stretching your good arm as she watched you serenely, forgetting the situation, almost, as she was taken aback by your beauty in this light.

It had always hit her like that - she just wished things didn’t have to change between you both, the way they did.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” she cooed, and your heart skipped a beat, your eyelids opening a little more as you turned your head to look over at her, forgetting how to breathe as her eyes locked with your own. If it weren’t hard to say with your lack of memory, you would probably have no doubt that this was the woman you’d kissed in the hazy scene, whether it had been a memory, or merely a daydream. You tried not to sigh, as if still caught in a dream-like state; you hated seeing her like this. She smiled weakly over at you, and your eyes darkened a little - she still looked as if she were being troubled by something, and you couldn’t explain why that hurt, as much as it did, so you stayed quiet, until you felt able to speak again without having your voice break in some pathetic manner.

“Hi,” you returned, your voice instead tired; strained, and she lifted her left hand up to your right cheek, only making your heart begin to pound even faster than it was, before, and she couldn’t help, but smile softly upon feeling your cheek warming up beneath her palm.

“How was your sleep?” She inquired, and you shuddered, feeling her relocating a stray piece of your hair behind your ear, seeing as it seemed to be getting on your nerves, dangling in front of your right eye, blocking your vision of her, until she was a bit closer, and her hand was still caressing your cheek as if you were the last two people on earth that mattered, in a sea of ruins, if there was one, right now.

“Good,” you answered, as a subtle smirk crossed your face, “until you woke me up.”

Reneé raised her eyebrows, though a spark seemed to glint within her eyes, to see you were still comfortable enough joking around with her, even after everything that had happened, recently, not just regarding the accident, but because of the break-up, too. Not that you particularly remembered it, right now, of course.

“I did not wake you up,” she contradicted, her voice a little lighter, than before, and you couldn’t help, but grin sheepishly over at her, noticing how her lips curved perfectly upward even more than before, “you woke yourself up, dummy.” She then made to open the car door, whilst you watched after her, trying not to pout though she could tell that you wanted to, only delighting her more somehow than you did, before, a brief moment ago. “No offence,” she added, but you shrugged, as she meandered around to your side of the car, your window down so she could hear you as you replied: ‘none taken’, relieving her as she beamed back at you, before opening the passenger door, and helping you out of the car all over again.

🜚

“You live in a trailer park?” You mused, and Reneé would tilt her head partially as she looked over at you, seeming in awe of the place. She couldn’t help, but smile softly, noticing the look on your face.

“You sound disappointed,” she claimed, as you both walked slowly side-by-side, toward her trailer marked ‘214’.

You winced, before hastily shaking her head, but little did you know she knew you didn’t mean to make it sound like that, considering you’d often talked about how you wished you could live in a trailer one day, even if it weren’t a temporary decision, or whatever. You hardly ever stopped, until the end.

“N-No, I - I’m not, I swear, I - sorry,” you managed, sounding a little panicked, but she soothed you by smiling softly in your direction, her eyes warm, and bright, enough to keep you grounded, even when she e weren’t holding your hand like she had, earlier today.

“It’s okay,” she reassured you gently, “to be honest, I can probably see why you’d be disappointed - I mean-”

“It - It isn’t like that, Renny,” you insisted, and she raised her eyebrows again, trying to hide that she liked the new nickname, “I just-..”

You sighed, before you timidly faltered in step beside her, and turned to face her, considering it didn’t take her long at all to stop walking beside you. As soon as she had, she appeared worried, warily inching closer to you so she could hold your left hand, as if you needed her to stabilise you, all of a sudden.

“You okay?” She asked, and you couldn’t help, but smile weakly up at her, your heart stuttering; you weren’t used to having someone care about you, the way she did, though you couldn’t imagine why, considering who you believed yourself to be, compared to her. Your heart dropped, but not as if these thoughts were unfamiliar, but you tried to hide it, bowing your head as your smile faltered; you’d never had such thoughts, before.

Or, at least, you didn’t think you did, wondering if these thoughts were a part of the void that had formed, following your accident, recently, but it didn’t take long for these thoughts to leave you, as soon as your eyes met her’s, again.

“I - I’m fine, Ren, I just-..” You fell quiet, noticing that she’d tensed up, her breath hitching in her throat whilst you appeared a little guilty, wondering why she appeared dejected, all of a sudden, and if you’d been the one to prompt such a reaction from her, somehow, for a reason unbeknownst to you, currently. “Sorry, I - I didn’t mean-.. I just.. if this is about that nickname, I’m sorry, I - I just heard Alice say it earlier, or if it’s because I said something else, I’m so-”

Reneé hastily shook her head, before she carefully wrapped her arms around you, prompting your heart to skip a beat again as you melted into her touch, resting your head upon her left shoulder as if nothing else mattered, but this moment in time; how it felt, to exist in her arms. You tried not to sigh, content again - instead, a faint breath escaped your lips, as she lifted her right hand up to the back of your head, only making you feel calmer than you were, before, as she entangled her fingers into your hair, and drew soft circles across your scalp.

“It’s okay,” she reassured you, “I - I just - I’m not used to hearing you say it, still, after…” You appeared puzzled, as she held you at arm’s length. “Don’t worry about it,” she added quietly, though you could tell something was off; her eyes darkening, whilst your heart sank, upon noticing such a reaction from her.

“Want me to stick to Renny?” You suggested, and Reneé would hesitate, before shaking her head, a soft smile spreading across her lips again as you expressed relief, evidently glad to see she didn’t mind such a change, despite her previous reaction to it.

“I personally prefer Ren,” she admitted, as you grinned over at her timidly, glad to hear such a statement as when you called her Ren, it seemed to feel better than ‘Renny’ did, “so no, you don’t have to get stuck with Renny - c’mon, it looks like it’s going to rain, soon, and I don’t want you getting sick, or something.”

She led you down the path, gravel crunching beneath the both of you - you were certainly pleased to feel that her hand was holding your’s again, her arm around your waist as if she were still trying protect you, though you didn’t need as much protection as you did, before, shortly after the accident had taken place, a few hours ago, now.

🜚

You were lost for words, as soon as you and Reneé got into the trailer. She smiled softly, glancing back at you as you admired the interior. The pretty and soft-looking sofa a few paces away from you both; the keyboard she’d decided to bring with her, reminding her of so many moments she’d had with you that she wanted to remember, no matter what their contents, or whatever may happen to you both, in the future. She meandered around you, before closing the door gently, not wanting to make you nervous as she remembered what had happened to you, a few years ago now, when another friend of yours (well, who you thought was a friend), tried to sexually harass you at a party you both went to, together.

Since then, you’d been anxious often by the sound of doors closing; locks being switched. You appeared unperturbed, surprising her as she surveyed you peacefully, your eyes glinting as you inched closer to the keyboard, prompting her heart to skip a beat. She remembered one time she was sitting at the keyboard with you - the very same one, still - and she was singing to you, as you rested your head upon her shoulder, smiling lovingly up at her. Another time, she remembered you teasing her; a slightly heated moment, leading up to the first time you had ever both fooled around together.

She tried not to shudder, but it didn’t work very well; it was hard, trying not to be reminded of these moments, as you admired the keys; the kinda classic design of the keyboard’s exterior, her surveying you keenly whilst you did.

“You like that keyboard, huh?” She mused, and you would appear taken aback by her voice, your heart skipping a beat as you glanced back at her, your eyes glinting as soon as your gaze locked with her own. God, was it hard for her not to kiss you, right now, but she couldn’t let herself lose control, considering the situation right now, with you and her technically still broken up, and many of your memories gone after your car accident not too long ago, now.

“I - It’s amazing,” you answered, “I-.. how do you have everything I’ve ever wanted? It’s crazy.”

She couldn’t help, but grin sheepishly down at the ground, before she sat down beside you, tracing the fingers of her right hand over the keys, before landing on the closest ‘A’, you fixated upon her the entire time, as if you’d never seen someone like her, before.

“We always made it a thing, to try and best each other,” she recalled, “and - by the way - even when we were kids, I always kicked your ass with everything we did, and got, so don’t worry yourself over who won, ‘cause it was definitely me, for sure, as you can already tell - right?”

“Sure,” you answered, a mischievous glint forming in your eyes as you looked back up at her, before your gaze dropped down to her hand, “but who’s to say that - if our competition has been going on for this long, now - that I won’t best you eventually?”

Reneé raised her eyebrows, curious, before she smirked back at you, and made to play another chord, all whilst you couldn’t help, but admire everything about her; how she moved, spoke, smiled. Your heart felt as if it were melting, whilst butterflies fluttered within your stomach - snakes across water. You pried your gaze away, feeling as if you may be staring, for longer than you should have been. She tried not to make anything of it, no matter how much she wished things could go back to the way they were, between you both, before the break-up had taken place.

“Is that a challenge?” She asked, and you would appear a little exasperated, subconsciously inching closer to her so your legs were touching, prompting your skin to tingle a little as her heart began to pound a little alongside your own. She’d never get used to being this close to you, no matter how much she wished she could, without feeling as if the air were strangling her, whenever you both were together the way that you were, now.

“M-Maybe?” You managed, and she couldn’t help, but grin again as she shrugged, unperturbed, trying not to glance down at your lips as she looked away from you again, though it hurt her to do so more than anything else ever had, before.

“In that case, I guess we’ll just have to see - right?” She concluded, before getting up, prompting your heart to sink as you watched her, silently begging her to sit down beside you again, but she was struggling even to think, being as close to you as she was, a brief moment ago - it wasn’t safe, no matter how much she wished it could be; she wouldn’t let herself lose control around you again, unless she knew you wanted her to, and were in such a state to make such a proclamation, possibly also followed by an apology for everything that had happened between you both, a little while ago, now. Obviously, that depended - she decided - on whether you got your memories back, or not; she didn’t want to force you to apologise for something you weren’t aware of, yet.

“Ren-”

Her heart skipped a beat again, her breath hitching in her throat as soon as she heard the nickname slip from your lips once more, and it didn’t take her long to decide she couldn’t take it anymore, as she shook her head, and smiled apologetically in your direction.

“I gotta make a call,” she claimed, and you would frown, before nodding gravely, and glancing back down at the keyboard, “make yourself at home, okay? I’ll be back in a bit.”

🜚

She rushed toward her car, once she’d got out of the trailer, breathing hard, and much too fast as her heart pounded against her ribcage. She’d never be used to how it felt, being around you like that - this was a fact she was sure of, now. She sighed, as she sat in the passenger seat, staring down at her hands as she tried not to let them shake. She wouldn’t let her feelings show that easily again; she’d promised she wouldn’t, after what had happened between you both, the last time you’d seen each other, before you’d said goodbye.

Her heart sank again, the moment replaying constantly in her head, though it hurt her more than anything else ever had, before, to allow it to do so. She thought about calling Alice; saying she couldn’t do it, but she couldn’t leave you to suffer alone; couldn’t let you get stuck in the hospital, the way that you were, now. She grunted, stuffing her phone back into her left pocket as she lifted her hands up to her face, frustrated, and exasperated; in desperate need of a drink, but she knew she couldn’t stay out here long, subconsciously wondering what you were doing, without her, right now.

🜸

You drew the fingers of your left hand over the keys, like she had, before, only stopping when you got to a lower octave ‘A’. You tilted your head partially, wondering why the sound seemed so familiar, especially as you followed it with a drop down to ‘F’. You smiled softly; it made you think of a certain piece: Debussy’s Claire De Lune, though immensely incomplete with a much thinner opening. You wished you could remember more, returning to ‘A’ as you thought about the piece more, trying to make sense of the sound, and you were sure you were close to understanding part of it, until you were hit by a memory - a distant one, but certainly a memory all the same.

•

Reneé was playing around on the keyboard at the time, you lingering timidly by the doorway. She smirked, sensing you a few paces away, watching her.

“You like staring,” she commented suggestively, and your heart skipped a beat, “any reason why?”

You winced, tensing up as you stepped back, but it was too late - you couldn’t flee, as she turned to face you, flipping her hair a little as she did, only making your heart pound and your head spin even more as she grinned in your direction, an all-knowing look in her eyes. You tried not to sigh, stammering a little as she tilted her head partially, before raising her eyebrows a little.

“W-What? No! I wasn’t staring… I - I was looking at something behind you!” You claimed, but she could tell you were lying as she grinned back at you, before gesticulating for you to sit beside her. You faltered, your heart skipping a beat, before you nodded timidly, and sat next to her, your left leg brushing against her right one. She tried not to shudder again, smirking over at you, but this time her smile was fainter, and almost as shy as your own. “S-So - what - what are you working on?” You inquired, and Reneé appeared taken aback, before glancing back down at the keyboard.

“N-Not much,” she claimed, not sure if she should go into much detail; she was worried about what you would think of it, right now, “just playing around for now, I guess - did you miss me?”

You smiled softly over at her, before you rested your head upon her right shoulder, only making her skin thrum even more alongside your own, as if full of electricity, somehow, just through the touches you were sharing together, no matter how brief they were, or how small they tended to be.

“I always miss you,” you admitted, your voice close to a whisper, “why wouldn’t I?”

“Good,” she replied, evidently glad to hear that you did, almost - if not as much - as she knew she did, “hey.”

You glanced over at her, your eyes glinting as soon as they locked with her own again.

“Yeah?” You responded, and she appeared nervous all of a sudden.

“I - I love you,” she cooed, and you felt warm, like you could melt, just in response to her words. “You know that, right?” She inquired, hopeful, as you affectionately leaned over to connect your forehead to her own.

“Always,” you answered, “n-no matter what; I - I love you, too, Ren, and I always will, I promise.”

“I’m glad, because - because I-.. I could never stop loving you, either,” she returned delicately, and you clung to each of her words, feeling more whole than you ever had, before, “it’ll always be you for me, I promise.”

“You’re too good to me,” you mused, and Reneé scoffed, before wrapping her right arm around your waist.

“If anything, I’m not good enough,” she contradicted, “I could do better for you - I know I could. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m perfect as shit, but there are things I wanna work on, and you can’t stop me from doing that, no matter what, so don’t even think about trying.”

You couldn’t help, but grin sheepishly in her direction.

“I’ll try not to,” you reassured her, delicately pressing a kiss to the right side of her head, and she swore she forgot how to breathe, for a second, “but I will make you one more promise for today - I will never stop trying, just without you knowing, because you’re right - you are perfect, Ren; you always have been, and that’ll never change - no matter what. You’ll never stop me from planning what I will, just to show you that, but sure - you may try and stop me, but I know what I’m going to do, and what you’re not going to achieve out of me.”

“Okay,” she returned, before giggling, “you can try, in silence - for now. Y’know, this is partly why I love you, you enormously stubborn but beautiful pain in the ass.”

You appeared taken aback, your heart skipping a beat or more again as you forgot how to breathe, and even think, feeling lost but in a field of lavender, her holding your hand no matter what. You tried not to sigh, a soft smile playing on your lips as she lifted her right hand up to the side of your head, only soothing you even more than you thought possible, before, as you melted further into her touch, wondering what you’d ever done to deserve someone as caring and warm as her.

“I wanna sing a song for you,” you stated, and she appeared taken aback, her heart skipping a beat for a moment as she looked over at you, evidently surprised as well as delighted by such a suggestion, “c-can I-?”

“I’d love that,” she admitted, and you expressed relief, before smiling softly over at her, and leaning a little closer to the keyboard, as well as sitting up straighter - you just wanted to impress her, no matter what - “what do you wanna sing for me?”

•

You faltered, your heart skipping a beat as you subconsciously played an ‘F# Major’ chord, and you were sure you would have played on, if Reneé hadn’t come back, and was stood at the door with a pained expression on her face.

🜸

She felt heavy, as she walked back toward the trailer, her heart pounding. She lingered by the door for a moment, trying to recompose herself, until she heard the chord, and her entire body began to tense up all over again.

🜸

“W-What are you playing?” She began feebly, her voice close to a whisper, and you would stop, wincing, before hastily turning to face her, appearing startled, as if you were afraid of what she’d think of you, now that she’d heard what you’d played, minimal though it was. One singular chord, with so much meaning.

“I - I don’t know,” you admitted faintly, and her expression would soften, though her eyes darkened as if such a response had hurt her, somehow, for a reason unbeknownst to you, “I just-… I guess I was-”

“It’s okay,” she cooed, “don’t worry, I just-.. I was curious; it sounded familiar - I don’t know why, but - but it did.”

“Right,” you managed, smiling weakly up at her, as she smiled timidly back at you, “hey, R-Ren? Could - Could I ask you something?”

Reneé hesitated, not sure as she warily looked over to the coffee machine, wondering if she should distract herself with that for a little while, as if it would protect her somehow from what you may be about to ask her. It scared her, to think that maybe you’d figured it all out, already - what you both used to be, compared to what you were, now. She couldn’t lose control of herself, not again; not after how it had ended, last time.

“Sure, but - while you do,” she began cautiously, “d’you want a coffee to go with it?”

You couldn’t help, but smile softly, prompting her to giggle quietly as you nodded, relieving her as well as yourself already, as she made to go over to the coffee machine, and began the preparations, all while you looked down at the keys again, and wondered if you should try and remember the rest of the piece, as you had begun it, a brief moment ago. You would have regret it, if it didn’t achieve a reaction out of her.

🜚

“Okay!” She chimed, as she walked back up to you, carrying two mugs, before she set them down on the coffee table stood to her right, right next to the sofa. You smiled your thanks up at her as she sat back down beside you, her heart skipping a beat. She winced, trying to ignore it as she smiled warmly back at you, her eyes locking with your own as soon as she looked over at you. You thought about what it would be like, for a moment, to lean closer to her. To let your lips brush against her own; your heart fluttered, and she tilted her head partially, only making it pound more; only making it harder to breathe, entirely.

You had to fight back a sigh again; it was dream-like, being here with her, though you’d only recently been reunited with her again, as a stranger, none-the-less. You forced yourself to look away from her, though it hurt to do so. Her heart sank, and you knew you’d messed up, sensing something had hurt her, though you couldn’t imagine why, or what could have done so. She cleared her throat awkwardly, before bowing her own head alongside your’s.

“Ren-”

“So, w-what did you want to ask me?” She inquired, before wincing, realising she’d spoken over you. “Sorry, I - I didn’t mean-.. sorry,” she added, whilst silently cursing herself for slipping up like that; for being so weak around you. She sighed, and you shook your head, smiling reassuringly over at her as you rested your left hand upon her own free one. Her heart skipped again, and her breath hitched in her throat, her lips parting a little - just a little. It was as if the feeling startled her, like an electric shock being sent through her arm, just from the touch of your hand, upon her own.

“It’s okay,” you cooed, your voice soothing her more than she thought possible, “I.. I know. I guess I just wanted to ask if we ever.. I don’t know-.. were.. something more, than we are, now?” Reneé tensed up, and you would wince, trying not to panic as you hastily shook your head, leaning a little closer to her as you intertwined your fingers with her own. “It’s okay, if you don’t know, or - or if we weren’t, I just-.. sorry,” you murmured, a pained expression on your face as she frowned, not sure what to do, especially now that you were already suspicious of what your and her past may have looked like, before.

“You saw something, didn’t you?” She guessed, avoiding eye contact with you as you appeared taken aback, glancing up at her again.

“H-How did you-”

“It wasn’t me,” she claimed, getting up off of the stool, and you would falter, a hurt look on your face as soon as her hand wasn’t holding your’s, again, “I - I never.. it was someone else, okay? We were never anything more than what we are, now, and don’t ever think otherwise, okay?”

“Okay,” you responded slowly, and the pain in your voice hurt her more than anything else ever had, before; it took a lot, not throwing her arms around you, “t-that’s fine, thank you, I - I just.. that was all I wanted to know.”

“You’re welcome,” she replied, forcing a smile back at you, as she tried to distract herself by cleaning up a little, all while you went back to the chords you were previously figuring out again.

“Hey, could - could you maybe help me with this song?” You requested, gesticulating to the keyboard, and Reneé would appear skeptical, raising her eyebrows a little in your direction, before she warily approached you again, and managed a barely audible ‘sure’; you could tell she was scared, however, as she sat back down beside you, and forced a smile in your direction again.

“I guess it depends on what song you want me to help you with,” she answered, and you then appeared confused, remembering you didn’t know what it was called anymore, “you don’t know, do you?”

You hesitated, wincing, before you appeared embarrassed, and looked back down at the keyboard.

“I - okay, I don’t, but-.. I just.. don’t,” you murmured dejectedly, “I.. can you help me?”

Reneé’s expression softened, before she smiled lovingly back at you, and nodded, relieving you as you smiled weakly back at her.

“I’d do anything for you, Y/n,” she cooed, trying not to take your right hand in her left hand, not only because it was broken, but because she was worried about what it would make you think, about you and her; about how she felt about you. “C’mon,” she began again gently, as you tried not to stare over at her again, your heart pounding, more than it ever had before, “let’s try and work this out together, shall we?”

🜚

You didn’t get very far, but she knew what you were trying to do, nonetheless. She tensed up, as soon as you played the last two chords you’d managed to figure out. Her throat stung, as a lump formed within it; she’d never forgot the day you played it to her - how could she?

“Is - Is that-.. Foreigner?” She mused, trying not to let her voice tremble. You appeared confused, looking over at her. “Shit, sorry, you - you can’t remember, can you? It’s called-”

You faltered, as if something struck you, and she fell quiet, noticing the pained expression on your face.

“‘I Want to Know What Love Is’,” you interjected weakly, “that’s - that’s what it’s called, right? At least, I think that’s what it is - is it?”

“You’re always right,” she cooed softly, her voice briefly trembling as she did, “what do you think?”

“I’m right, aren’t I?” You guessed, a soft smile playing on your lips, and she grinned back at you, before nodding, and looking away; she didn’t want you to see that she was trying not to cry, all over again. “Ren? A-Are - Are you-?” You began, and she would falter, wincing, before hastily shaking her head, not wanting to break down in front of you again.

“I’m okay,” she reassured, looking up at you as she did, but you could tell there was something wrong; her eyes were glistening a little, and it hurt, seeing her like that again, like it usually did whenever you noticed she looked sad, no matter how much you wished you could do everything to make her happy, even if you couldn’t remember exactly who you were to her, anymore, “I just.. I want.. I don’t know what I want anymore; I just.. want - you.”

You faltered, not sure what to do as you both stared over at one another for a moment, feeling almost lost, despite being so close together; almost as if you were still oceans apart, somehow. You wondered what would happen, if you leaned a little closer to her.

“I’m coming back,” you stated, and she raised her eyebrows, remembering a conversation that you’d both had before.

•

“It’s not gonna be for forever, Y/n,” she cooed, you standing a few paces away from her, a pained expression on your face, “you know that-”

“No, I don’t,” you contradicted sharply, but it didn’t stop your voice from shaking, “I’ve never had anyone stay, no matter how much they tell me they’re coming back. I don’t wanna lose you, too-”

Reneé hastily shook her head, before making to wrap her arms around your waist, and you couldn’t move away, your eyes locked with her’s - it was almost as if you were glued to her, ever since you’d first met her. You never wanted it to stop, but you were terrified, knowing that if she left, soon, you might never see her again. Your heart sank, and she affectionately connected her forehead to your’s, her lips close to your’s to the point that you couldn’t breathe, wanting nothing, but to be there with her, every moment of every day. You fought not to kiss her, no matter how much you wished you could, lifting your right hand up to her left cheek.

She smiled softly back at you, not hesitating to bring her own right hand up to your’s, keeping it there, but gently, not that you wanted to ever lose contact with her again. You sighed, melting into her touch as she eased you closer to her, her eyes glistening a little, and god did it hurt to see her trying not to cry, but you didn’t know what to do - you couldn’t go with her, no matter how much it hurt to say that, or even think it, the way you were, right now.

“Then come with me,” she practically pleaded, “Y/n, I-”

“No, Ren,” you interjected, and she faltered, her composure breaking as you withdrew from her, your eyes darkening as you bowed your head, sensing that she, too, was in pain, though you couldn’t imagine why - who wouldn’t be happy, to get away from someone like you? “I can’t do that, you know I can’t-”

“Why?” She questioned, trying not to break down as you stared at the door to your left, biting down upon your bottom lip to try and stop it from trembling again, but it was hard; every part of you wanted to break down, when her arms weren’t around you. You sighed again, the breath a little shakier than it was, before.

“You know why,” you uttered, “I told you before, I just-.. can’t. There’s too much, here; I can’t leave it behind. This is where everything started, for me; I need to stay, Ren - I have to-”

“So that’s just it? You don’t wanna go anywhere else, you just want-.. want to be here, and not go with me? Seriously? You’d rather lose me, than go with me, or at least trust my word that I’ll come back to you? Y/n-”

“I don’t want to get hurt again,” you murmured, “Ren, I-.. I’m sorry, but, maybe-.. maybe we should just..”

Her expression faltered again, and you couldn’t take it, staring down at your feet as you waited for the blow; waited for the pang you knew would break you, as soon as she agreed with you, like you didn’t doubt she would - especially not now. Instead, the pain that came soon enough was worse than anything you’d ever felt, before.

“But-..” She fell quiet, her voice smaller than you’d ever heard it, before. She scoffed, shaking her head, before bowing it, not sure what to do with herself anymore. She didn’t even know what to think, anymore.

“Ren, I-”

“It’s okay,” she claimed, but you knew you’d messed up; you knew it was too late to take it back, now, as she forced a smile over at you, before patting and gently squeezing your left shoulder, as if she were saying goodbye so soon, “have a nice life, Y/n, and I’ll try and have one, too, okay?”

•

That had been one of the worst moments of your entire lifetime. You remembered the pain as if it were only yesterday that it took place. Well, you used to remember. It was like a searing hot iron being pressed against your skin; like someone was digging it into your flesh, almost touching your rib cage. You winced, as if it were a pain striking you distantly from another universe. Reneé faltered, a pained expression on her face as she looked away from you. Nothing had ever hurt this much, before; she just wished you could see.

“You’re not coming back,” she contradicted subconsciously, her voice close to a whisper, and you would fall quiet, a hurt look on your face as you let your eyes meet her’s again, but the glance didn’t last long, “look, we-.. I don’t think we should be talking about this, right now-”

You raised your eyebrows, evidently surprise by her response.

“W-What are you talking about? We should be talking about this, because you know it’s true, Ren,” you contradicted determinedly, but she didn’t dare look back at you, no matter how much you silently begged her to, “look, I - I might not remember what, or how, we were, before, but-”

“We’ve only ever been friends,” she uttered, though it pained her even to let such words escape her lips, “nothing more than that, okay? Just.. don’t worry about it anymore, and we won’t have to get hurt again, okay? Please?”

You hesitated, not sure, but the hurt look on her face made it harder for you to say ‘no’, so instead you nodded gravely, and she expressed relief, glad to see you’d given up, before things could get any painful than they already were.

“Hey, I - I was thinking, could - could we maybe-?” You tensed up, though you’d never felt this nervous before, thinking she’d turn down your suggestion, especially after what had just happened between you both, a brief moment ago now. “I saw a park, on the way here,” you managed, as she warily looked over at you, as if awaiting some dreadful final blow, “c-could we go there, together? I think we should get some fresh air, for a bit, at least - it’s nice and sunny out there?”

Reneé hesitated, not sure as she looked warily toward the door, but she guessed it couldn’t hurt, as she smiled softly over at you, and got up off of the stool again.

“You’re right,” she corroborated, as she offered you her hand again, “maybe it would do us some good to get out for a little while - how far in d’you wanna go?”

🜚

“It’s nice out, today,” Reneé commented timidly, “yesterday, it was.. kinda miserable, to be honest - do you even remember what it was like?”

You winced, not sure as you tried to think back to the accident, but nothing much came to mind when you tried to recall what the weather had been like, at all. Your heart sank, and she frowned, nodding gravely, before she bowed her head.

“Sorry,” you managed weakly, “I-.. I thought maybe I could, but-.. I shouldn’t have tried, I’m sorry-”

“Why are you apologising?” She questioned, and you would falter, evidently a little flustered as you looked toward her, your heart pounding a little as if it hadn’t done so enough already today. You only hoped that she couldn’t tell your cheeks were a little redder than before, still.

“I don’t know,” you murmured, a pained expression on your face, “I just.. I thought.. sorry.”

“Hey,” she cooed gently, and you would fall quiet, glancing toward her again as your breath hitched in your throat, and your eyes widened especially as she eased you closer to her, the lake glistening to your left as she smiled softly over at you, as if you were more than what you thought you were, before, even after everything that had already happened today, leaving you worried that maybe she wouldn’t like you anymore, if you tried to continue prying the way that you were not too long ago, now, “it’s okay; it’s been a long day, and you’re hardly gonna remember everything if you’re tired, right?”

You raised your eyebrows, as you glanced toward the lake, wondering why the scenery felt familiar; even the feeling of her arms around you felt like it had happened, before. She eased you a little closer to her, and your heart skipped a beat.

“I don’t know,” you mused, “would something like that really make a difference, or do you just want me to stop trying?”

Reneé hesitated, not sure how to respond for a moment as she knew you were right; part of her was afraid of you figuring everything out, but the other wanted desperately to let you rest, and heal after what had happened, you getting caught up in that car crash, and all. The reminder of it only made her heart drop again; her blood run cold - she couldn’t bear to think of you getting yourself hurt like that; it only hurt more, to think maybe you’d done it on purpose, or on the way to where she’d requested you meet her, via the notes she’d left within T.J Klune’s Green Creek series.

“Why would I want you to stop trying? Y/n, all - all I want is for you to get some rest,” she answered a little defensively, and you couldn’t figure out why you thought she was lying, but a gut feeling told you that she was trying to hide something from you, and you couldn’t let it go, though you weren’t completely sure why you couldn’t do so possibly as easy as other people could - probably, anyway, if they weren’t as close to someone as you felt as if you were, to her, for reasons painfully unbeknownst to you, still, despite the fact that you’d almost spent a whole day with her, by now.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry, I - I’m just-.. curious, I guess,” you stated, and she rolled her eyes, but you could tell she didn’t mean it in a bad way, a soft smile playing on the corners of her lips as she tried to avoid eye contact with you, the two of you walking slowly side by side again, tracing the lake together, everything feeling and looking glassy like the surface did. “What do you miss the most, about us?” You asked, and she appeared taken aback by the question, her own heart skipping a beat as she even began to stammer a little, but you tried not to appear hopeful, knowing that it probably didn’t mean anything, but at the same time it scared you to think that you wanted it to mean something, to have her affected by you in such a way, the way she seemed to affect you, no matter how much she tried to insist that it wasn’t her who you’d been with, before. You just wished it weren’t so hard to remember, the memories always seeming to hit you in blurry scenes. Your most recent one had only confused you, too. It was like someone’s birthday, but you felt miserable, hiding away in your room, small tears leaking down your cheeks. Your heart sank again, but you tried to hide the pain from her. Little did you know, she was forced to remember moments like these, too, and they only hurt the more she recalled about them, especially when she knew that if the chances of getting you back were low, before, they were even lower, now.

•

“You can’t go,” she stated, blocking the door, “I’m not letting you go, Y/n-”

You grunted, stopping a few paces before her, but you didn’t dare look up at her again. If you did, you knew it would only hurt more. Instead, you bowed your head, and her heart dropped; she couldn’t stand seeing that things were breaking down the way they were between you both, but she didn’t know what else to do, anymore. Her heart ached, and she longed to throw her arms around you, but she didn’t know if you’d let her, and that only hurt her more than she thought possible. She sighed, shaking her head as she - too - looked away, wishing everything didn’t hurt as much, as it did, now.

“I thought you were fine with it, before,” you admitted, and she tensed up, remembering your and her previous fight when you’d decided maybe it would be better, if you both broke up, and went your separate ways. However, it did scare you that you were starting to think it impossible - a life, without her. You winced, wishing your heart would stop feeling as if someone were squeezing it, right now, close to the point of utter extinction as she silently begged you to look at her again; silently begged you to take it back - that you thought wrong your previous decision, and still loved her, like she feared she still loved you, but it wasn’t taking her long to lose hope, all over again, now, with you staring down at the ground, suitcase in hand. “You said-”

“I want you to stay,” she interjected weakly, “I - I didn’t mean it, I swear, I just-.. Y/n, I love you - please-”

“We’re not meant to be together, Ren,” you uttered, though it burned your tongue and throat to let such words escape you, especially when you felt the pain radiating off of her a few paces away from you, “I-.. I just can’t-”

“What, so you think it would be better to just - throw everything we ever did and said to each other away? Why the fuck would you ever think something like that? I thought we meant something to you-”

“We do,” you contradicted sharply, before a pained expression crossed your face, “we-.. we did, but I can’t do this anymore, okay? Reneé, we-.. we can’t keep doing this. I-.. I have to stay here, and you have to go and do what you’ve always dreamt of doing, right? That’s just the way things are; it’s always been like that. We knew this day was coming, we - we should have-”

“Yeah, but-.. but I-.. I never thought that you’d want to break us completely,” she interjected, and you couldn’t take hearing the pain in her voice, but you knew that even when you got away from it - whenever that may be - it would hurt, nonetheless, to be reminded of everything that was, and could have been.

You sighed, feeling helpless as you shuffled uncomfortably on the spot, suitcase still in your right hand whilst she tried not to pry it away from you; tried not to break down, but it was hard, not to do so, and she had to try and keep the small tears back that were currently forming in her eyes, the way that they were, now.

“Yeah, well.. nobody knows what the future holds for anyone here, do they?” You reminded her dejectedly, and she would frown, before nodding gravely, and trying to hide her face from you again, though she didn’t know why she was even bothering, now - why would you still care, if this was the way things were going for you both?

“I’m sorry you feel that way, about us,” she murmured, “it’s funny, because-.. I don’t know, I-.. I always thought there was something endless, about us; we’re.. we’ve always been.. forget it, I shouldn’t be wasting your time anymore, should I? You can go.”

Reneé meandered around you, and you thought about just slipping through the front door. Instead, you faltered before it, feeling her watching you a few paces behind you, a pained expression on her face again. You couldn’t do it, not without telling her the truth.

“Ren, you-.. you’re everything to me,” you admitted feebly, your voice threatening to crack as you glanced back at her, eyes dark, and still wet. She faltered, hastily lowering her gaze again as she shrugged, as if such a fact didn’t perturb her, right now. Not anymore.

“Great,” she uttered, “that’s-.. that’s really.. why are you doing this, exactly? Why, right now, are you doing this?”

“Because it’s true,” you answered determinedly, sounding exasperated, and she scoffed, “Ren-”

“Why, Y/n? Tell me why, or go, and I’ll never bother you again,” she pleaded, and you would hesitate, your hands shaking a little as you tried to calm down; tried not to panic, like you feared you might, soon, if you didn’t tell her, now, “please-”

“I have to do this because I love you, god damn it!” You cried, and she would fall quiet, her heart sinking again as she stared over at you, looking more crestfallen than you’d ever seen her, before. “I always have, and you know that; everything I’ve ever done has been for you!” You added, and you couldn’t hold it back anymore, crying quietly, as a strained sob escaped your lips, hurting her more than she thought possible as she shook her head faintly, before making to inch closer to you, but you only moved further back, until you were even against the door. She frowned, stopping in place as you tried to recompose yourself still, only to fail miserably, sniffling as your shoulders shook a little. She watched, feeling hopeless, a small tear managing to leak from her right eye as you stammered a little shakily, desperately trying not to break down even further than you already had. It was so easy, feeling weak around her; you wanted nothing, but to do everything you could for her, and you hoped more than anything that you leaving today would make her happy, no matter how much it hurt you, in the end.

•

It took her a little while to recompose herself as she tried to think of a response, these moments hitting her like bricks, hard and painful. She winced, avoiding eye contact with you again as you timidly awaited her answer, not realising you’d been forgetting to breathe, until she managed to speak up again.

“There’s a lot that I miss, about us,” she admitted dejectedly, and your heart sank, your eyes even darkening; there was so much you wished you could do, say - so much you were terrified you wouldn’t gain back again. She smiled sadly back at you, and you only felt worse, especially when she looked like she was about to cry again, only to bow her head and clear her throat as if she were trying to hide it from you, or something. You couldn’t take it; couldn’t take seeing her like this, especially when you didn’t know why, or what happened to make things the way they seemed to be, between you both. “One example would probably be how we were,” she mused, “h-how we-..” She drew in a barely audible shaky breath, before trying to disguise it as a faint cough. “It’s getting cold,” she stated, before smiling weakly over at you again, your blood running cold as you tried not to shake your head, wanting to spend more time with her, especially after everything that had happened, recently, including the memories only making the strange feelings you were experiencing to grow more intense with every minute you seemed to spend beside her, “m-maybe we should-”

“Wait,” you interjected breathlessly, “c-can we just-?” You winced, falling quiet, as you worried about what she might say, or do; how she could easily leave you as fast as she had presented herself to you. Your heart sank, and you stepped back, forcing a smile over at her as you fought back another sigh, no matter how much it hurt to hide everything you wished you could tell her, right now. “Never mind,” you uttered, and she frowned, a little disappointed, though she knew she should be relieved; that she couldn’t let her hopes grow anymore than they already had; it was still too painful, thinking about how much she wished she could tell you that she still loved you; that she’d never stopped, but she guessed that was all her feelings should be, right now - painful little secrets, so it was no surprise that the following night only made them pain her more than they ever had before.

🜚

Reneé remembered how you used to have nightmares. She never really figured out the cause of them; you’d always been too scared to tell her anything about what they consisted of. That night, she let you have the bed, considering there were no others, and she didn’t want to take up your space (not to mention that - despite the bed being a double - she didn’t want to make things awkward, nor did she want to take any risks that might lead to anything happening that she wouldn’t be able to take back the next day).

She winced, just thinking about it, but at the same time it made her ache again. She didn’t like being away from you, though you were just technically still beside her, just not close enough for her to reach out and hold you. She frowned up at the ceiling, trying not to think about it too much, but it was hard not to think about. You glanced down at her, as your eyelids fluttered open sleepily; you’d not been able to get any sleep, yet. The bed was cold, your body colder, even with the duvet you were hugging close to you, half of it draping off of the side as you’d insisted she have part of it, too. You didn’t want her to just have the blanket she was using, thin as it was, no matter how much she tried to protest to your suggestion. Some things never changed - her heart throbbed again.

The first night she knew about your feelings for her, had been one that had never left her, no matter what happened between you both. Even now, it was hard not to think about. You’d had a nightmare again; the wind was roaring outside. She sighed, her eyes glossy as she shook her head, before turning her head away, but the scene continued, no matter how much she wished the memories would just leave her alone, now.

•

She remembered it was really dark, whilst you were both in the room together. That she’d invited you over, after you’d told her you’d been struggling to sleep, recently. She timidly glanced over at you occasionally, lying next to you upon the bed after you’d requested for her to do so, though you’d been nervous to, worried about how it would feel, to be that close to her; how it would make your heart pound too fast again; how it would make your blood rush up to your cheeks.

You smiled softly, feeling her arms around you. She smiled lovingly, resting her head upon the space above your own. Your hair tickled her chin, but she couldn’t help, but love how it felt to be like this, with you. She wished she could wake up like this everyday, cuddled up with you. She tried not to sigh, though she was content, not wanting to scare you, or wake you up - she still thought you were sleeping, at the moment, not noticing how your eyelids occasionally opened alongside her own.

You’d felt so safe, turning around to face her so you could bury your face into the crook of her neck, and it was enough to almost make her shudder; the feeling of your skin against her own. She winced, feeling her cheeks heating up a little as she pressed her lips and nose to your scalp, trying not to make a sound, though there was an internal squeak longing to escape her lips, right now, during this blissful moment in time.

That had been before the nightmare had come, again. You started shaking in her arms, crying quietly as she began to stir beside you, her eyelids heavy with sleep, and chest wary as she stretched carefully, yawning as she did, until she noticed the pained expression on your face; the small tears leaking down your cheeks as your eyelids seemed to be closed tightly, as if you were afraid of opening your eyes; as if you were stuck, where you were, unable to find the way out.

Her blood ran cold, and she hastily shook her head, before gently shaking you, and at first you panicked, crying out as she held you close to her, her eyes darkening; she hated seeing you like this - so distraught, and terrified, as if you were in danger, somehow; as if she could lose you, if she didn’t wake you up, and soon after the nightmare had begun. This had often been the case. You cried quietly as she guided your head down, and you buried your face into the crook of her neck.

“It’s okay,” she cooed gently, but you shook your head, clinging to her vest as you silently begged for her to never let you go, terrified of what might happen, if she did; you’d always wondered if she would disappear, when her arms weren’t around you the way that they were, now. It was painful, having to think like that. This had often been the case, however, especially after your ex had left you, the year before. “You’re okay, I promise,” she continued, “n-nothing’s ever gonna hurt you again; I won’t let it-”

“Please don’t leave me,” you begged shakily, your voice close to a whisper, and she faltered, a hurt look on her face as she held you at arm’s length, her eyes full of the pain she was trying not to show, right now, “promise me you won’t; that - that we’ll always be together, no matter what.”

“We’ll always be together, I promise,” she reassured softly, your forehead against her own affectionately, “I - I could never-”

“I’m scared, Ren,” you managed, your voice barely audible, “I - I’ve never-…”

“It’s okay,” she continued, lifting her right hand up to your left cheek, “everything’s okay, now, I promise, and that’s the way it’s always going to be, no matter what, okay? You’re safe with me - you know that, right?”

You appeared taken aback by the question, wondering why she even doubted that you knew; you’d always known; you’d never stop. She encased you in so much warmth it was unbearable, sometimes; it became hard not to cry; to even breathe. You drew in a shaky breath, allowing your eyes to lock with her own, and the warmth came again - so familiar, so safe, but it still made your heart pound. She smiled softly in your direction, and you felt as if you could melt, trying not to let your gaze drift down to her lips - so close, you could almost just touch them, but you didn’t want to scare her away from you. You winced, stammering a little as she waited patiently for you to respond; to recompose yourself. It was hard not to cry, right now, overwhelming emotions and all.

“I - I think-.. Ren, I-..” You fell quiet, and she frowned, noticing that you were trying not to cry again, but it wasn’t because you were doubtful of her ability to protect you - it was just because you were afraid of what she’d think of you, if you ever got to tell her everything you wished you could, over and over again. “I’m - fuck,” you uttered, evidently frustrated at how difficult it was to form the words you longed to say, right now. It was embarrassing, to say the least, but it didn’t dissuade her from you, as she grinned softly over at you, her eyes glinting a little - she found it cute, how she seemed to have this effect on you. She just wished she knew then, what she knew now, even before you’d told her the truth about your feelings for her.

“It’s nice to meet you, fuck,” she remarked, and your heart skipped a beat as she offered you her left hand, “I’m Reneé, but you can call me Ren, if you want to!”

“I - I’d love that,” you managed, and she smirked over at you, evidently amused by your response as you giggled softly, and her heart skipped a beat again, “you, e-er.. you look pretty; you always look pretty.”

“You always look pretty, too,” she cooed, and you appeared taken aback, your breath hitching in your throat, “Y/n-”

“Ren, I-.. I think-.. please don’t hate me, but.. sometimes I think that m-maybe I - e-er - turned out liking you a lot more than I originally planned to,” you admitted, much too fast, and she faltered, forgetting how to breathe alongside you as her heart skipped a beat again, “i-is that okay?”

Reneé raised her eyebrows, trying to recompose herself alongside you as you smiled timidly over at her, before hastily looking away, as if you were afraid of what might happen, if you looked back over at her again, though you loved more than anything to look into her eyes like they were the brightest orbs you’d ever seen; the centre of your very existence. She delicately ran her right hand up to the back of your head, and you shuddered a little, unable to stop yourself as your eyes locked with her’s again, and she had to try and stop herself from kissing you, holding herself back, though her lips almost brushed against your’s, a brief moment ago, now.

She winced, appearing a little flustered, and you yourself looked as if you were still nervous, watching her anxiously as she tried to think of the right words to say, in response to your previous revelation.

“Of course it is,” she answered, and you expressed relief, “Y/n, we - we’re best friends. God, this is gonna sound cheesy, but - I love when you’re half asleep, and talking nonsense.”

Your heart sank a little, but you forced a smile over at her.

“You think it’s just ‘nonsense’, huh?” You guessed, and Reneé faltered, tilting her head partially as her smile dropped alongside her heart. “I-.. I meant it, Ren,” you admitted feebly, avoiding eye contact with her again, “I’ve always-”

She shook her head, and she couldn’t hold it back anymore as she delicately lifted your face back up to her own, before pressing her lips to your’s, and hoping the sun would never rise again.

~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed it, and are looking forward to the next one! ❤️

[miaqc1]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga), Pikmin (Video Game) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Blue Pikmin (Pikmin) & Mizuno Ami Characters: Blue Pikmin (Pikmin), Pikmin, Mizuno Ami Additional Tags: 1 Sentence Fiction, Cute, No Plot/Plotless, Bathtubs, Water, POV First Person, POV Mizuno Ami, Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Cute Ending, Happy Ending, Gen Work, Pikmin 2, Pikmin 3, Japanese Character(s), Wordcount: 0-100, Not Beta Read, author is autistic Summary:

One-sentence fanfic with Ami Mizuno and Blue Pikmin.

[pidgydraws]

🎉 progress 🎉 @jayvik-week - day 1

science boyfriends celebrating a breakthrough <3 continue to - day 2 - day 3 - day 4 - day 5 - day 6 - day 7 (day 7 tw: blood)

[ruoyeming]

A lirtle wangxian wip cause I've been rewatching The Untamed <3

[hinamie]

long way home

[vampthropologist]

awww <3

[puppypawbz]

me when i see my most profitable customer