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wiypt-writes · 2 years ago

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Consciousness Of Guilt

Chapter 25

Summary: You and Andy find out the sex of your new baby, and that leads Andy to an important decision.

Warnings: Language, adult themes, and an Andy who needs a hug…

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar the reader and any other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer. I do not consent to my work being translated or posted elsewhere. If you see this fiction on any site other than Tumblr it has been taken without permission.

W/C: 6.6k

A/N: So, here we are. The penultimate chapter. Hard to believe we’re almost there. As always, massive Thanks to my beta @spectre-writes

Consciousness Of Guilt Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 24

6.6k

Andy was nervous. Why he didn't know. Not entirely. It wasn't his first, maybe not his last. But sitting with you in the ultrasound room this time around had his knee bouncing and his stomach in knots. He hadn't even felt this way with Lucy's gender scan. This was...just different. You looked over at him and sighed. "Andy, relax." Your eyes were incredibly soft as you looked him over. He looked tired, you knew he was. He hadn't been sleeping much lately. He had to prepare for this seminar and a trial all at once. And when the work took over, keeping sleep at bay or to a minimum, the dreams started. It kept you up too and then he'd force himself to bed just so you'd sleep. Before your mind could think more and Andy could reply, the technician came in with a bright smile. “Me and Mrs Barber?” She pulled up the ultrasound machine as she walked round to the side of the trolley you were sat on. "Yep," Andy rubbed his hands on his thighs and stood to join you as you situated yourself on the table. She smiled as you lifted up your top, and then looked at you both. “So, you wanna know what you’re having, huh?” "Yes!" You grinned. "We did with our first." “Are they going to be a big brother or sister?” “Sister.” You smiled, “she’s so excited.” “I have three myself, a girl and twin boys," the technician grinned. "Lay back for me, this will be just a little cold." She squirted the gel on your lower abdomen after you'd undone your pants. "Are we taking bets, guesses, desires?" You glanced at Andy, swallowed a little, and you reached for his hand. “You have a feeling don’t you?” He nodded, "boy." He smiled at you as you squeezed his fingers. “Well, let’s see if dads right.” It took a couple of minutes, finding the baby and taking images for the more necessary parts of the scan. "Things look good," the technician smiled. "I can't say for sure since I'm not an MD but pieces and parts look good. Are we ready for the sex?" You looked at your husband. “Andy?” Andy nodded and squeezed your hand. "Are you a betting man, Mr Barber?" The tech looked at you both with a straight face. “I’ve had the occasional flutter, but it’s been a while.” He gave a little chuckle. “Well, take your odds to Vegas," the tech smiled and turned her screen. "It's a boy." Your eyes pricked with tears as you felt Andy’s hand tight around yours. "I'll get these printed for you and leave them with your chart when you go," she smiled warmly. "Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Barber." “Thank you,” you smiled, your eyes watching her go. When the door clicked shut, you looked over at Andy with tears in your eyes, "Andy...." “A boy…” he whispered. "Yeah," you said softly. "A boy." Your stomach was in knots as you tried to read your husband. For the first time since your very beginning, you couldn't. His eyes were shifting around the room, quickly. Looking at everything, yet focussing on nothing. "Okay," you took a shuddering breath and sat up, letting go of his hand. You swallowed the lump in your throat and slid off the table. You did up your pants, the with a turn on your foot, you stood between Andy's legs. "I can't imagine what's in your head right now," you knew exactly how his mind was whirring. "I won't pretend I do. But I am so happy, and I know you are too, BB. Just process it, okay, we'll talk about it all later." You kissed his lips tenderly as you cupped his face. "When you're ready." “Angel…” he reached up for your hand. "Yeah?" You whispered. His other hand curled round the back of your thigh as he sat up, his nose softly brushing the t-shirt which was stretched a little over your bump. “Hi, son…” he whispered, his voice cracking. Your bottom lip quivered and you sniffed. Your hand moved to the top of your little bump and you sputtered. His forehead pressed gently to your belly before those azure eyes looked up at you, misty with tears. “I love you so much.” "I love you, too, Andy," you cupped his cheek, your thumb running over his cheekbone. "We both do, we all do." Andy licked his lips, before he moved a little and you stepped back to allow him to stand up. He wiped his eyes, took a deep breath and then turned to you. “Wow…” You tearfully grinned, "I know." He moved and wrapped his arms around you, holding you close. “Suppose we best go tell Looby.” Andy snorted as the pair of you moved towards the door. Once you’d collected what you needed to, you made your way out towards Andy’s Audi, hand in hand. “So…how do you think we should do it?” You asked. “Tell Lucy, I mean.” "Suppose we just tell her?" Andy shrugged, still sniffing a little. "I'm not sure. How'd you find out about your sister?" “Mom and dad didn’t find out.” You shook your head. "Oh," he nodded and opened the door for you. "Well, then I guess we just tell her," he chuckled a little. "But we have the drive back to Ron's to figure it out." “Oh…erm can you stop by the bakery?” "Sure," he closed your door and walked around the back of the car to his side. Once in and settled, he started the car and backed out of the space. Turning left rather than right, toward Ron's, he took you to the little bakery you liked so much just down the road from the diner. As you pulled up outside, Andy stopped the car and then turned to you. “What is it?” You asked softly. “I wanna tell Lucy about both her brothers.” Your head slowly turned to look at him. "Okay..." “I mean…I know she’s probably too young to understand about Jacob, but if I tell her and keep telling her as she grows up…then she’s gotta understand as she gets older, right?” You kicked your lips. You weren't entirely surprised by his decision. You knew the day would come when Andy would want to tell Lucy about her big brother. He was after all, in the grand scheme of it, the reason she was born. But could a three year old possibly understand? That said, Lucy was very much like her father, brilliant in thought and smooth in word. Maybe you were doing her a disservice in doubting her. But more so, you knew this was less about her understanding than it was about Andy needing to tell her. You exhaled, “Andy," you paused, waiting for his eyes to flick to you. "I think you’re right. I think you should.” “Maybe…I…” he swallowed, “I just don’t think I know how.” You took a second to think, "that's okay too, BB. You'll know when you figure it out. If you want me there, I can be. I will be. But it's also okay for you to go at it alone with her." His hand reached for yours and he lifted it, softly kissing the soft skin of your wrist. “Thank you.” "I love you," you said softly, "and I know our son is..." your voice waivered, "our son is just as important as Jacob was. He won't replace his big brother. Just like Lucy never could. I can't possibly imagine how you're feeling, and part of me doesn't want to." You sniffed as the emotions started to take hold. "This is a big deal," you squeezed his hand, "and I'm always here, just like I've always been, always will be." Andy sniffed a little, before he glanced at you again. “I can’t tell you how happy I am. Another baby, a boy…” You lifted his hand to your lips, "I know...."

*********

Lucy sat in the living room in front of the film collection that sat below the television. You had gone to take a well-deserved nap so Andy popped popcorn for he and his little bunny to pass the time. He wanted to spend as much time with her as he could before the new baby arrived. For once she became a big sister, the Barber family would be forever changed. A familiar shape caught Lucy's eye and she pulled the case out. Her eyes grew wide as she stood and practically ran it over to Andy as he sat on the couch waiting for her choice.

"Daddy Wex we wash dis one!" She flopped on the couch next to him.

Andy looked over at her to take the case from her hand just as a feather escaped the couch cushion and floated between them.

The simple action made Lucy giggle as she tried to catch it.

Andy was caught off guard by the floating object, his focus quickly shifting away from Lucy. He felt his chest tighten and then he heard her giggle, her voice.

A blurred image of a T-Rex skeleton filled his vision. "Whoa, back up a second," he croaked then cleared his throat. "I can't see with it so close, bunny."

“Iss a Dino!” She moved a little allowing Andy to take the case from her.

“This…” he glanced at the Jurassic Park Blu-ray and sighed, “Looby this is gonna be way too grown up and scary for you.“

"But issa t-wex. I nots get scared, Daddy. I pwomise!"

Andy looked at her, and then he noticed the feather had landed in her hair.

It didn’t escape him just how much she was like Jacob, how he would often cajole Andy into allowing him to stay up later than he should or eat things that perhaps weren’t the wisest of choices just before bed.

And now, that feather…it was almost like Jake was telling him, “don’t be such a square, Dad…”

He chuckled with a little splutter and sniffed. It was the first feather he'd seen in a while and of all days for it to appear, it was now. With Lucy, and on the day the two of you found out your new baby was a boy. Andy reached out and plucked the feather from her hair and swallowed back the lump in his throat. And he knew, the time was right.

“Okay, we can…but first, there’s something I wanna talk to you about.”

“I not does it, Gwant ates your belt."

Andy blinked, “no, I…wait, he ate my belt?”

"Ooops," Lucy grinned with a giggle as she covered her mouth.

“Why would you think I would think you…you know what, it doesn’t matter. That’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

Lucy climbed up into his lap and sat there with her legs slung over his thighs, her little legs bouncing. Eyes that looked like his own gazed up at him as if he were the best thing in the world.

“So…you know before, when you got your cupcake…and it had blue frosting…”

"Because I gets a brudder! I so essited!" Lucy beamed at him,

“Me too, baby.” Andy swallowed, “But I wanna tell you something. About a long time ago, before I met your mommy.”

“Like when there was dinos?”

“No, not quite!” Andy laughed, “I’m not that old!”

Looby giggled again and Andy took a deep breath. “But, back then, I had a different family.”

"You did?" Lucy frowned.

Andy nodded. “I had a different wife…and a boy…a son.”

"Oh...not Mommy, nots my baby?"

“No.” Andy shook his head. “He was older, a lot older than you.”

"Oh..." she was quiet for a minute. "Where deys goes?"

“They…they died. In an accident.”

"Oh...." Lucy frowned, "Yous sad?"

“I was, Bunny. For a long time. Sometimes I still am. But you and mommy…and now our new baby, you make it better.”

In a mature move, that surprised even Andy, Lucy threw herself into his chest. Her little body twisted to hug him close. "Nos be sad, Daddy." She whispered, "it's otay."

Andy choked a little, his arms cuddling his daughter close. “Oh, Lucy. I love you. So much.”

"Who's he? Your uvver boy?”

“His name...his name was Jake. Jacob.”

"Jay-cob," Lucy repeated. "Jacob wiked dime-osaurs."

Andy blinked, “he…he did. What….what makes you say that?”

"I wike dem, so Jay-cob wiked dem."

Andy looked down at his daughter. “He did, he liked them a lot.”

She grinned, "wike you and me."

“Just like me and you.” Andy smiled. “You know what else he liked?”

"Wut?"

“Ice cream.”

Lucy squealed, "I wuv ice cream!"

“I know,” Andy grinned.

"We has some? Wiff the movie?”

Andy chuckled, “okay, but we should probably ask Mommy. Or I'll be in big trouble!”

Lucy climbed down from where she sat and waited for Andy to get up. She took his big hand with her tiny one and pulled him toward the stairs.

"Where are we going?" He asked.

"To ask Mommy about ice cweam!"

"Oh, hang on, Looby!" Andy chuckled and pulled her back to him. "Mommy is taking a nap, why don't we start with our popcorn and when she wakes up, we ask about the ice cream?"

Lucy looked like she was in deep thought. Her little eyebrows rose into her forehead. "Just a wittle bit? I won'ts tell if you won'ts!"

There it was again, that glimmer of Jacob inside his sister. Andy supposed it was what he gave his children, sneaky little traits. He snorted, “alright, let’s go see what we got.”

Andy had just about finished scooping Lucy's strawberry ice cream into her bowl when he heard your voice. "What are you doing?"

Andy and Lucy stopped dead as you walked into the kitchen.

“Uh oh, Looby…”

“Busted!” Lucy giggled.

"Ice cream before dinner?" Your hands went to your hips, slightly masked by your little bump.

“Iss for the moovie mommy!”

You couldn't help but playfully sneer at them but then turned that smirk into a grin, "Where's my bowl?!"

Andy's grin matched yours as he slid the bowl intended for his own ice cream in front of him and began adding scoops. "How much, Angel?"

“Plenty.” You grinned.

Andy chuckled and scooped up your bowl. Lucy sat on the counter bouncing her feet as she held her bowl in her lap.

“So, what movie are we watching?”

"Juwassic Pahk!" Lucy replied.

You blinked. “Really?”

"Yup!" Lucy took a bite of her ice cream.

"Andy, are you sure?" You were a little concerned.

"We'll give it a try," he smiled softly. "Trust me, Angel."

"Mommy! Guess what?" Lucy asked.

"What?" You replied.

"Daddy says I has a Jay-cob wike my baby. He wikes dinos and ice cream likes me!”

“Daddy told you about your big brother huh?” You smiled.

At that Lucy frowned. “He’s not my brudder.”

"Why do you say that?" You asked as Andy frowned.

"Because you not his mommy," she sighed.

Andy sighed, he'd hoped she had understood what he told her but maybe he’d been a little optimistic to expect her to fully understand how the dynamics would work. He looked at you, as you registered his reaction. “I didn’t even think to try and explain that…”

"Hey, it’s okay…” You smiled gently. “Lucy, you’re right. I'm not Jacob’s mommy…”

“Dems hows he my brudder?”

"Because just like your baby brother in here,” you rubbed your bump, “ you share Daddy with him. Jacob was your brother because you have the same Daddy.”

“Oh…buts not the same mommy?”

“No baby, Jacob’s mommy was a different lady, her name was Laurie. Daddy was married to her before he met me.”

“Otay.” Looby nodded. “I sees.”

“You do?” Andy felt his heart lighten at little at her words.

“Yups. Jay-cob was my brudder, because we has the same daddy.” She repeated with a final firm nod.

“That’s it.” Andy smiled softly, “you’re so clever, Bunny.”

“Buts he in heaven nows, mommy.”

You looked at Andy as she'd said it, and saw his eyes misting as you answered for him. “Yeah, Looby, he is."

Lucy then sighed, “so I cants see him.”

“You know…” Andy quickly wiped his eyes, “I can show him to you. If you like?”

"Otay," she smiled. She handed you her bowl of ice cream, "Don't eats it, Mommy!"

“Okay, I won’t.” You chuckled.

With a soft smile, Andy looked at you.

“You go, I'll meet you at the couch.”

He nodded and swooped Lucy up in his arms off the counter.

He carried her across to the study, and gently sat her on the oak desk. He reached for a photo which sat next to one of you both and Lucy, taken a few months back, and he gently held it out.

“This is Jacob. And me.” He smiled softly. “We were in our garden of my old home.”

"Hi Jay-cob," Lucy smiled, "I your sissy, Looby."

Andy smiled as he watched, the lump in his throat thick.

"We has Daddy."

At that Andy had to look away, his chest feeling tight.

"Yous ups in Heaven wiff Bongo. Das Nanny and Gwampa’s doggy. He dieded..."

At that Andy couldn’t help but splutter a chuckle at the memory of the raggedy dog he had first met all those years back. Sadly, old age and ill health had forced your parents to make the decision all pet owners dread, and they’d done the kindest thing for him last week.

“You know, I think I’m gonna miss Bongo…” Andy smiled softly.

"Wike you misses Jay-cob?"

“Kinda.” Andy nodded.

"I wike him," Lucy looked away from the photo and to Andy. "Das my brudder, Jay-cob."

Andy immediately felt the sting in his nose, and he sniffed. “I’m sure…” his voice cracked, “I’m sure he would have liked you too, Looby.”

Ever astute, Lucy looked up at Andy, "Daddy....why you crying?"

Andy hesitated and thought about brushing it off but instead he gently picked Lucy up.

“I sometimes do when I think of Jake, but you…you make it all better.”

"I does?"

“Absolutely. Now…you know what I need?”

"A big Looby-Sore-us hug?”

“A huge Looby-Saurus hug.” Andy nodded.

Her arms wrapped around his neck and squeezed.

Andy hugged her back, his face burying into her hair. “I love you so much, don’t ever forget that.”

"I lobes you too," her little forehead touched his. "Daddy?”

“Yes, baby?”

"Can we has our popcorn and ice cream now?"

Andy laughed, “sure. Come on.”

Her little arms wrapped around his neck and held on tight as he carried her across the hall.

“Well, there you are!” You smiled as they both walked into the living space.

"Any longer and you'd miss out on ice cream! It's melting!"

"We're sorry, Angel," Andy kissed Lucy's temple and set her down. He bent his neck and gave you a soft kiss, his hand settling over your small bump.

“It’s okay,” you smiled, “did you guys…”

"Yeah, I think so," he replied softly. His eyes still a little pink.

"Are you okay?" You gently rubbed his arm.

With a nod and sniffle, Andy sighed with a small shake in his chest. "It's just fine."

"I love you, Andy."

“I love you too, Angel, all of you.”

With your hand over his, you smiled ever so gently as you all settled down to watch the film.

Surprisingly to you, maybe not so much to Andy, Lucy was fine with most of the film but didn’t like the bit where the Raptors were chasing Tim and Lexi through the kitchen. She asked Andy to fast forward through that bit, so he did.

There were no nightmares, just an excited little girl babbling all about the best bits of the film to Andy the next morning as he got her ready for nursery, asking when she could watch it again.

The rest of your week passed quickly, as did the weekend, and soon Monday morning rolled around bringing with it four nights away for Andy at a conference in New York. He was reticent to leave you, but you waved his worry away. Your pregnancy hadn’t been any more difficult than with Lucy and you felt more than capable of coping without him. You kissed him goodbye as he left in the morning, watching his baby girl hug him tight before you both then set off for the office and nursery, Grant perched in the seat next to Lucy so he could take up residency in his corner of your office as usual.

That evening, on the way home you stopped by the pet store as you’d run out of dog treats for your office stash. You let Lucy hold Grants leash as you pushed the trolley around, popping in a few bags of natural treats and titbits.

Lucy then asked to go look at the tanks of fish at the back, and she watched with fascination at how the assistant was catching a few for a sale when she gave a gasp and tugged at your top.

“Mommy, please! We hasta get Daddy-Wex a fish!"

You paused, then frowned. “Looby, why do you say that?”

"I fink he's sad," she shrugs.

“You do?”

"Yeah," she kicked dust on the ground. "I fink he misses Jay-cob."

You took a deep breath. Andy had, indeed, been a lot more reflective than you’d seen him in a long time since the day of your sexing scan. And, whilst you knew he was happy about the news you were having a boy, you also knew he was still wrapping his head around it all. And that was okay, he’d get there in time.

What you hadn’t realised was that your beautiful and smart three year old had noticed the change in her daddy too. And moreover, you had absolutely no idea how the hell she’d joined the dots as to what the problem was. But she had.

“You know, you’re right, he does miss Jacob.” You looked down at her. “And I think that because the new baby is going to be a boy, it’s making daddy think about Jacob a lot. But he’s gonna be okay.”

"I don't wike it when Daddy is sad."

“I don’t either,” you sighed, cupping her face. “But I promise, you help him. He loves you, baby. And you make him smile.” You then looked at the tank of fancy goldfish and bit your lip. “Why do you think fish will make daddy feel better?”

"Because he wikes the fish at the aquaridum!"

You felt your heart swell, and the tears of emotion prick your eyes at just how observant and thoughtful your little girl was.

“You’re right…” you nodded, and then you decided; screw it. “You know, if we wanna get him some fish, we gotta get a tank and set it all up first…”

"Oh, can we!"

“Sure, why not.” You smiled. “We can set it up and then come back for the fish at the end of the week, before daddy comes home.”

"He's gonna be so happy, Mommy! So happy!"

You smiled, you had no idea whether Andy wanted fish or not, but you knew he’d love them simply because his little girl had picked them for him, for a very caring reason.

So, off you went, loading the trolley up with an adequately sized set up, including lights, filter, substrate, and a large ornament which was in the shape of a t-rex skeleton skull.

You knew that lifting the things inside the house wasn't going to be the best of ideas if Andy sussed it out, but you didn't need to enlist help either. So when you got home, with Lucy's help carrying the lighter things, you managed to get the tank and things inside and sat in Andy's office where Lucy wanted to set up the tank.

Lucy helped you arrange the ornaments and pop in the plants, then it was a case of filling it up. You had the bright idea of using the hosepipe and attaching it to the tap in the cloakroom across the hall, and it worked pretty well all things considered.

“Iss dirty!” Lucy peered at the water.

“No, it just needs to settle.” You assured her as you flicked the filter on and added the chemicals they had told you to at the shop. “Tomorrow morning it’ll be much better.”

"Can I watch it?" Lucy grinned, complete excitement dancing in her eyes.

“There’s not much to see,” you chuckled, “but I got a better idea.”

"What?"

“Why don’t you come and look on the iPad for the types of fish we should get daddy whilst I make dinner?”

"Oh, yay!" Lucy clapped, "I esscited!"

“I know, honey, I can tell. And Daddy’s gonna love his surprise.”

"I hope sos!" Lucy smiled up at you.

You smiled down and her and took her hand, leading her to the kitchen and grabbing your tablet along the way.

True to her word, Lucy picked out a few good fish to start Andy's collection. As you didn’t work Thursdays or Fridays, Lucy didn’t attend nursery, so Thursday afternoon you took her to a specialist aquatics shop this time and let her explain to the assistant what she wanted with the pictures she had printed off and watched, smiling as the young man led her round to the cold water tanks.

When you got home, the two of you started the process of integrating the fish in the tank. Lucy couldn’t wait to tell Andy all about them.

And she would get her chance in one more sleep. Andy was scheduled to touch back down in Denver just after eleven the next morning and would be home just after lunch.

“Deys look happy, mommy!” She giggled as the four fancy goldfish swam around the various plants. “Buts deys so smalls!”

“They’re babies, Bunny.” You smiled, “that’s why. But the man told you they’ll grow bigger and that’s the perfect amount for the tank size.”

"But no more than four," Lucy held up four fingers. "Or that's toooo mush!"

You chuckled at the way she said it, that was her and Andy’s thing. Andy had always asked her how much daddy loved Looby and that was the standard response. Tooo much.

“You’re right, it is too much.” You smiled, hand on your bump as your baby boy was wriggling. “Now, which ones your favourite?”

"Ummmmm," Lucy watched them swim for a moment. "That one! Right dere!" She pointed to a particularly deep gold rather than orange colored fish. "Das Goldie!"

“Goldie…” you chuckled, “you not going to let daddy name them?”

“He can name the uvvers.” Lucy beamed up at you, a smile much like her father's with eyes that were entirely his.

"Good Idea. Now, what do you think about laying down with me for a bit and then we can order pizza and snuggle all night. Tomorrow, just after lunch Daddy will be home."

"Is Auntie Jo coming wiff hims?" Lucy wondered.

"No, baby, she's not. Not this time." You smiled, "So whatdya say; snuggles, pizza and more snuggles?"

“Yay!” She nodded, “and Gwant too.”

“Of course! Can't forget about Grant!"

Lucy did indeed snuggle and take a little cat nap with you until Andy called, waking you both up.

“Hey…” you blinked at the screen.

“I’m sorry, Angel.” He sighed, apologetically, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay,” you shook your head, “I should probably be getting little miss ready for bed anyway.”

"You feeling alright?" Andy wondered.

"Just making a baby, nothing unusual," you chuckled.

“Nah, the making is the fun part,” Andy winked, “You’re doing the hard work baking him now.”

You grinned, "how did it go today?”

“It was okay, my presentation in the morning went without a hitch.” He smiled, “some of the debate this afternoon got a little heated but, wouldn’t expect anything else from a room full of judges and lawyers. The big dinner tonight should make up for it.”

"Ah yes, the dinner," you sighed, remembering the very first one you'd attended with Andy. "Bland chicken and cold vegetables. Enjoy the open bar, it'll be worth it."

Andy laughed, “lamb tonight, Angel, they asked for our orders in advance. And I intend to, although not too much. Don’t fancy flying home with a hangover.”

“Is that daddy?” A yawning voice from the little person tucked into your side spoke.

"It sure is, Bunny."

She shifted a little and sat up, and you smoothed her hair back as she took the phone from you.

“Hi daddy rex!”

"Well, hi Looby-saurus!" Andy chuckled, "how's my little bunny? Are you taking care of Mommy?"

“Yups,” She grinned. “We had Pizza and watched Toy Story!”

"Well, I can't believe I missed it!"

“Yous can watch at weekends” she grinned.

“Sounds great?” Andy smiled, “what else did you do?”

“Wells today we goes and…” Lucy stopped, and then blinked. “Oops, I cants say.”

"Oh, you can't, huh?" A smirk crossed his lips. He flicked his brow in curiosity.

"Nopes, it's a supwise! I cants!"

“You got me a surprise?”

"Don't give in to him, Lucy!" You laughed. "Andy..." you slowly scolded.

“What?” He laughed.

“Dass naughty, Daddy!”

"Alright! I'll be excited to see it! One more sleep, Looby, just one!"

“Does you gots to work tomorrow when yous home?”

“Nope.” Andy shook his head, “it’s an early start to the weekend, baby.”

"Pancakes?"

“Well, I won’t be home until after lunch but…Saturday morning absolutely.”

“Wiff berries and whippeds cream?"

“Of course, is there any other way?”

"Otay! I miss you Daddy."

“I miss you too, Bunny, but one more sleep. That’s all.”

"Otay, Daddy! I gots to go potty!"

“Alright…I love you.”

"Bye daddy!" Lucy tossed the phone to you and then scrambled over your legs and off the sofa.

Can you manage?” You called after her.

"I gots it!"

You chuckled as you picked up the phone. “Little Miss Independent.”

"Huh, yeah, like someone else I know," Andy's eyes sent a playful glare your way. "I miss you, Angel. I know It's only been a couple of days, but I miss you both a lot."

“I miss you too, but not long now.” You smiled softly.

"No, I suppose not," he smiled back. But whilst you knew his smile was genuine, there was that look in his eyes. The look you recognised all too well, and the one that was clearly now why Lucy was feeling the way she was about her daddy; that he was sad.

“Andy…”

"Yeah, baby?"

“It’s okay, you know. To feel how you’re feeling about this…about him. I get it.”

Andy sighed, "I know. But...Angel, this... This is on me. It's not about our son, it's not about us. I'm just...it’s a lot to wrap around right now. It's been a heavy week." His shoulders slumped and he inhaled a shaky breath. "Maybe that's why this seminar hasn't been the greatest. My heads not here, my heart isn't either."

“Oh, Andy.” You swallowed, “I can’t imagine how you feel but I just want you to know I’m not mad or upset…I just, well I get it, okay. And however long you need…that’s okay too.”

"Thank you, I'm sorry."

“Are you happy about the baby?”

“What? Of course I am!”

“And are you gonna love him any less because he is a boy?”

“No, Angel, that’s…”

“Then there’s nothing to be sorry for.” You shook your head.

Andy took in a deep, rattling breath. His eyes were misting, and you could see it over the video call.

“I mean it,” you looked at him.

Andy nodded, the words stuck in his throat. He sniffed and cleared the lump away. "I love you."

“I love you too. So much, Andrew Steven Barber.”

He nodded as his lip wobbled, "I'm gonna see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams, Angel."

“Yeah, you will. Enjoy the dinner, okay? “

“Okay, honey.”

You bid him goodbye and then took a deep breath before you hauled yourself up off the sofa and headed off to find Lucy.

****

It was just before one the next afternoon when Lucy excitedly yelled as she heard Andy’s car pull up the gravel driveway in front of your home.

“Mommy! It's Daddy-Rex!! He's home!"

“I heard,” you chuckled over Grant’s barking.

He came through the front door and dropped his bags at once, scooping up a charging Lucy.

“Hi, Bunny!” He grinned as he hugged her tightly.

Her little arms strangled around his neck as she buried her little face into his bearded cheek. "I missed yous!"

“I missed you too. Have you looked after mommy and your brother for me?”

Lucy pulled back and smooshed his cheeks together, "Yups! And I fed Gwant! He no eats your tings dis time."

“Well, good job!” Andy grinned as he puckered his lips for a kiss off his daughter. She laid one on him and with a final squeeze, let her down. He used his lower thigh to move Grant out of the way and looped an arm around you as you waited close by. He cupped the side of your face with his free and hand kissed you. Kissed you good; tenderly and slowly.

“Hi…” you whispered, your nose brushing his.

"Hi, baby," he whispered back. His lips pecked yours as he pulled back a little to rest his hand on your bump. "Hi, pal."

“How was your flight?” You asked, your hand laying over the top of his.

"Not quick enough," he sighed. "Let me take these bags up and put my briefcase in the office and I'm all yours. Jo gave me some stuff to bring home for Lucy."

“Why am I not surprised?” You chuckled, “she’s spoilt.”

"Hey, she's her godmother and Lucy is the closest thing they have to children.” Andy smirked. "Let me just go put this in the office first," he winked and picked up his shoulder bag.

"No Daddy! You cants go in there!" Lucy exclaimed.

“Why not?”

"Ums..." she looked at you for help.

“Because we made a mess in there, and we need to tidy up.” You said slowly, holding his gaze.

“Ohhh,” Andy nodded, winking at you. “I see.”

"So you goes to your room, Daddy!" Lucy grinned, "gets cozy and comes back!" She shrugged with her hands out to the sides like it was the perfect idea.

Andy bit his lip, stopping himself from laughing and he nodded. “That’s the best idea, ever.”

"Otay, bye!"

Andy kissed you again and grabbed his suitcase and headed upstairs. Grant, as ever the obnoxious dog he was to his owner, trotted up after him.

“Hello, you furry ass hole.” Andy chuckled as he hopped up onto the bed, tail wagging. He gave Grant an affectionate scratch behind the ear before he emptied his case out quickly. Once his dirty laundry was in the basket, he changed from his jeans and polo to some sweats and a tee.

“C’mon, pal. Let’s go see what your best buddy has planned, huh?”

Grant huffed as if in reply and followed Andy out of the room. Behind his back he held a little gift bag from Jo and her wife. Quickly thudding down the stairs, Andy found you and a very excited Lucy waiting for him ever so wiggly patient by the television and fireplace.

"Cwose yous eyes, Daddy!"

“Okay, but don’t you want your present from auntie JoJo first?”

Lucy's eyes grew wise, "yes, pwease!" She jumped up and down.

With a smile, Andy handed it over.

She sat right down in the spot where she'd stood and pulled the tissue from the top.

“Ooooh looks!” She pulled a new set of colouring pencils out, followed by a sketch book. “I lobes them!”

"Auntie knows you love your art sets, doesn't she, Looby?" You smiled at her, your hand resting on your belly.

Andy smiled warmly and pulled his phone from the coffee table. "Look here, Looby Loo!" He snapped a picture to send off later.

"Okay, do you think Daddy's ready, Lucy?" You peered down at her as she put her things on the coffee table.

“Yups!” She nodded, a huge grin on her face.

"Alright," you smiled. "Close your eyes, BB. Looby, take his hand and go show him. I'm right behind you."

“Dis way, Daddy. For your surprise!”

"Don't run me into anything!"

"No peeking, Daddy!"

“I’m not…”

Lucy took him to his office and made sure he stood right in front of the tank. You held your phone out for pictures and video that you knew Andy would want to see later.

“Okay daddy, when I counts free!”

Andy chuckled, "Okay!"

"One...two..free!"

Andy opened his eyes and blinked. He frowned a little, before his mouth curled up at one side.

“Goldfish?”

"Yup!" She grinned. "Wike the aquardium!"

“They are, yeah.” He chuckled, “and is that a t-rex?”

"Yes! Mommy wet me gets it!" Lucy giggled and hugged his leg. "Are yous happy now, Daddy?"

At that Andy looked away from the fish and down at Lucy. “What do you mean, Bunny?”

"You sads cause of Jay-cob, so I makes you happy!"

“I…” Andy blinked, before he hung his head a little, swallowing.

Your hand fell to the middle of his back, "It's okay." You whispered to him. Then with a little louder voice you peered around Andy's broad back, "He loves it Lucy."

Andy gently dropped to his knees and pulled his daughter into his arms and just held her. "I'm so happy about my fish, baby."

“Daddy, you cries?”

"I'm okay, Lucy, I promise." He sniffed.

“Daddy’s just really happy. Sometimes those feelings get a lot.” You explained.

"Oh," she sighed. "No cries, okay Daddy? I loves you, and dems fishies loves you. Mommy, my baby, my Jay-cob. We alls loves you, Daddy-Rex."

Andy spluttered and pulled Lucy to him, burying his face in her hair. “I love you too, my baby girl. So, so much.”

"Tooooo much!"

Andy pulled back. “Lucy, I wanna tell you something now. And I hope you understand. But, sometimes when I miss Jacob, I do feel sad, but that doesn’t ever mean I don’t love you or I’m sad because of you. You and mommy and now your new baby brother make me so, so happy.”

Lucy took a minute to try and, but she looked confused. Your heart ached for your husband, hearing him say it just chipped away a little at it. The confusion on Lucy's face made you smile softly. "That means that Daddy loves you no matter what and always, okay, Lucy?"

“I knows dat!” She looked at you and then Andy as if you were both stupid.

"Okay, Bunny, just so you know," Andy sniffed. "Now, do they have names?"

“Erms…one does.” She grinned as Andy stood up with her in his arms. “Dat one is Goldie.”

"Oh, Goldie, huh? Original.” His sarcasm was lost on Lucy as she grinned. Andy chuckled. “Okay, and the rest?"

"Das it."

“So, we have to pick names for the other three?” Andy studied the remaining fish, one being white with an orange stripe down its back, the other black with googly eyes and the other a mix of black, orange and gold flecks.

"Yup!"

“Okay…well this one is kinda speckled, so what about Speckles?”

“Now who’s original?” You whispered and he snorted.

"I wike dat," Lucy smiled. "And dat one is...." she thought for a moment, pointing at the black one. "Dat one is Wex!"

“Rex, okay…that’s cool so that just leaves that one with the stripe.”

“Erms oh, oh…Iddle Foot!”

"Oh, good eye, baby! He has a stripe like Little Foot, huh?" Andy kissed her temple. "Thank you so much for my surprise, both of you." He reached for you and looped his arm around your waist, then he kissed your temple. "I love you all so much."

“He wikes them mommy!”

"He sure does, baby," you nodded and leaned into Andy. "He sure does.”

#consciousness of guilt #andy barber #andy barber fanfic #andy barber x reader #andy barber fanfiction #Andy barber x you #reader insert #Chris Evans character #Defending Jacob #defending jacob fanfiction #defending Jacob fan fic

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wiypt-writes · 2 years ago

Text

Consciousness Of Guilt Ch 24

Summary: It’s the countdown to Christmas, and you and Andy have a very excited almost 3 year old…and a pain in the ass Elf to contend with.

Warnings: Language, adult themes, Smut (NSFW, 18+)

W/C: 7.3k

A/N: Thanks to my beta @spectre-posts

Consciousness Of Guilt Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 23

According to Ferris Bueller, “life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Well, you certainly could relate.

Within what felt like such a short amount of time; Lucy was growing, life was rapidly changing and there was no slowing down. You had gone back to work and while that was an adjustment in and of itself, you enjoyed the opportunity to work from home as well when necessary. Lucy was attending a daycare in the lobby of the building, and it gave you (and Andy) a chance to check in on her. Although you weren’t sure it were a good idea in the beginning as you knew Andy was down there “watching” or “checking in” far more than you were. Ron even would joke that if one couldn’t find Andrew Barber in his office then his calls should be

“forwarded to the nursery in the lobby.”

And speaking of Ron, the end of the year was fast approaching and so was his retirement. The founding partner had given the news to yourself, Andy and the board with their spouses present at a dinner party they’d hosted at autumn’s start. He had declared that he would be stepping down at the end of February the following year. That meant many changes were coming including adding much more to Andy’s desk. Because, with Ron’s announcement, came another vote to seat Andy as the second head of the firm.

Simply put, it was as if you and Andy had merely blinked, and here you were. Your baby girl now almost three, and another year about to draw to a close.

You woke and stretched, leaning over to give Andy a quick peck on the cheek good morning. He stirred, and smiled, his arm moving to slip round your back.

“Morning, Angel.”

“Good morning, BB.” You smiled as your lips brushed his. “Happy first of December.”

Andy snorted, “whoopee…” You playfully slapped his chest and he laughed. “Seriously, what’s to get excited about? You’ve already put the tree up…it went up the day before Thanksgiving.”

You knew he was only half-serious. Whilst he’d grumbled it was far too early, when he’d seen how excited his little girl at the boxes of decorations, he’d got stuck right in to help.

“Listen, Mr Grinch…have you forgotten what’s waiting downstairs?”

At that, Andy grinned. This was the first year that Lucy had really appreciated and understood what Christmas was and her excitement was infectious.

“I can’t wait for her to see it.”

The two of you laid quietly talking for a few minutes, until Andy’s alarm obnoxiously signaled it was time to get up.

"Hit snooze," you suggested.

Andy sighed, “I’d love to, but I have a lot of prep today.”

You groaned, "alright. I'm working from home today. I'll keep Looby with me."

Andy groaned as he stretched. “I know it’s only a DUI and possession but whilst he’s pleading guilty for the DUI, on the rest he claims he’s been stitched up…”

You rolled to your side, facing his side of the bed, "well, I know it's been tough so far, but I’m sure it's going to work out."

“It feels like an awful amount of prep for something so minor, but there’s huge implications here that go behind the verdict.”

“Like…”

“Bent cops.” Andy wrinkled his nose.

“Oh…”

“Yeah,” Andy shrugged a little, before his arm which lay under your neck threaded into the hair at the back of your head. “Busy couple of weeks before the holidays.”

You nodded and leaned up for a kiss. "You best get up, or I'll kidnap you."

“Isn’t kidnapping when it’s done against your…” he trailed off, the joke dying on his lips. “Fahk, Angel…that was…”

Your eyes grew soft, "Hey....," you cupped his face, "Andy no, it's okay. I'm okay."

He took a deep breath and accepted the soft kiss you gave him. “I know, I still don’t like the…the jokes, you know?”

Before you could reply, a little voice called out echoing down the landing and through the monitor on the bedside table.

“Daddy! Mommy! Isss awakes!”

“Well, that's a new record," you snorted. "That’s your fault for reminding her last night she’s got her advent calendars to open.”

"Me? I did no such thing, that was Penny sending that fahkin' ugly bright box of which, no doubt, is full of shit prizes and candy."

“Oh hush!” You giggled, “you know full well she’s more excited about that glittery card dinosaur one you managed to find!”

Andy chuckled as you moved so he could climb out of bed, his bare torso flexing a little as he headed out of the room, Grant following. He opened the baby gate into Lucy’s room to find her sat up, the early light from the sunrise illuminating her slightly.

“Good morning Looby-Saurus.” He beamed.

“Hi Daddy Wex!” She giggled as Grant hopped up onto her toddler bed and stuck his nose into her face. “Gwant!”

“Stupid dog…” Andy grumbled, rolling his eyes.

“Daddy nos calls Gwant!” Lucy admonished as she stared up at him and Andy couldn’t help but snort at the expression she wore, so like you.

“Okay, okay.” He grinned and swooped her up in his big arms. She still sometimes looked so small in them to him, his precious girl. "Do you want to come snuggle Mommy so I can get ready for work?"

“Yup yup yups!” She hugged him round his neck and then she gasped. “Oh…iss a-vent day?”

He groans a little, "yep, it's advent day."

She squealed. “We goes?”

"Yes, but after I get dressed for work."

“Otay…”

"I'll be quick, promise." He kissed her cheek as he walked them into his room.

“Mommy!” Looby grinned as she saw you sat up in the large bed.

"Good morning, Looby Loo!"

“Iss assvent!”

"I know! Are you excited?"

In the corner of your eye, you saw Andy trying not to laugh at the unfortunate mispronunciation of the word.

“I so esscited!”

Andy headed into the bathroom, and you smiled at Lucy.

"I tell you what. Let’s go grab your robe and your slippers, make sure you’re warm when we go down, yeah?”

"Does it snows wast night?"

“I think so.” You grinned, “shall we see?”

"Outs dare?" She pointed to the French doors on your balcony.

"Yep, go see!"

She hopped down from your bed and ran to the long curtains, pulling them apart as she pushed her face through. “Mommy! More snows!”

"Oh my! Well, we'll just have to go out in it, won't we?" You laugh. “Make a snowman!”

“Wike Olaf!” Looby grinned as you climbed out of bed and grabbed Andy’s sweater from the vanity chair.

"Yes!" You pulled it on over your sleep cami.

That was when Andy threw open the bathroom door and rushed out in only a towel. "Sorry, two minutes." he quickly said and grabbed his underwear and undershirt, running back in.

“Daddy siwwy.”

"Yes, he is!" You carried her back to her room to get her robe and slippers. Andy met you two in the hall, his tie hanging around his neck and his jacket fisted in his hand. The smell of his shower gel, aftershave and the linger of toothpaste was a particularly heady mix that morning.

"Okay, let's get your advent!” He swooped up Lucy as she grinned and clapped.

You followed and smiled at Andy as you opened the door to the huge open plan loving area of your old farmhouse. Andy set your daughter down and she immediately squealed.

“Oh. Wow!” You gasped as Andy took a dramatic inhale, “what on Earth…”

"Wassat, Wassat?!"

“It looks…it looks like an elf!” Andy grinned as Lucy ran to the little elf doll on the sofa. The Elf was sat holding a balloon.

"Das 'L' for Lucy!" She bounced on the spot, pointing at the balloon.

“You’re right.” Andy nodded. “That’s what it says. Hi, Lucy!”

Jumping up and down with pure glee, she took the sign and handed it to you.

You gasped, "Bunny, I think it's... It's a note, look!

“Issat?” Her eyes widened.

"Hang on, I need to make sure it's real...." Andy took the note from you and squinted as he inspected the teeny writing on the page. “Miss Lucy Jo Barber, Sheephill Cottage!” He read with an astonished tone. “It is real!”

"Reads it, Dadd-wex, peas!"

“Okay…” Andy took a deep breath and opened the letter. “Hi Lucy! I’m your special elf! I’m new, from the North Pole, and Santa sent me to your home especially so we can play together!” He paused as Lucy gasped.

You could help the grin that matched your daughter's as Andy read. This was definitely going to be the best part of the season.

“Like all new elves, I don’t have a name. So, the first thing we can do together is pick one. Anything you want, as long as it isn’t a rude word like…” Andy gasped and playfully looked at Lucy, “like fart or butt…”

She giggled and covered her grin with her small hands.

“You can play with me all day, but at night you have to leave me under the tree so that I can report back to Santa through the special Red bauble…”

"I can do it, I can do it!"

“I can’t wait to play and have lots of adventures. With love, from your Elf!” Andy finished. “Well, how awesome is that?!”

"I so esscited! I has to name hims! Don't goes!"

Andy chuckled, “I have to get to work soon, Bunny but…okay, a couple of minutes.”

"Think really hard, Lucy... A name is special." You encouraged.

“Erms….Pickles!”

Andy snorted, “what?"

“Pickles!”

Andy was about to ask why, but his phone rang. It was Ron. "Angel... I..."

“Yeah, okay…go. See you tonight.”

"I love you," he bent and kissed you. Then he kneeled down, "I gotta go, Bunny, come gimme a kiss then you and 'Pickles' can play."

“Bye daddy!” She ran to him and kissed his bearded cheek. “I wobes you.”

"I love you, too." He stood and kissed you again before rushing out.

"So," you clapped your hands together and smirked, "what are we going to do with Pickles?"

And that was how it started.

You quickly realized the Elf couldn’t be left “under” the tree as Grant took a liking to him, and on the first night, Andy spent a good five minutes trying to retrieve him from your dog’s jaws.

Then, each and every day you had to remind yourself or Andy to move the damn elf, that fast became an annoying and obnoxious chore. But seeing Lucy’s reaction each morning was so worth it. It was in the kitchen hanging off the fridge, it was in the bathroom Lucy used being naughty using the sink as a tub. It scuba dived in Grant’s water bowl, pulled all the cushions off the couch, left a trail of marshmallow footprints all over the kitchen counters….When it was Andy's turn to move it, you'd learned to double check the setup, for the first time he was in charge there was a very precarious pose your husband had put it in. So, you had to fix it. And that was how every turn Andy had went, so you had to scold him each time as you fixed it before Lucy saw.

But one Tuesday evening, a few weeks after his 46th birthday, Andy outdid himself.

You’d arranged Pickles on the coffee table with one of Lucy’s Barbie Dolls, and a few of her dinosaurs around a little table of their own along with a sign that informed everyone that this was a “tea-rex” party. You’d left to go grab a drink from the kitchen and come back to find Pickles’ head was now between Barbie’s legs and Andy was bent over the scene, giggling like a naughty schoolboy.

“Andrew!”

"What?” He spun to face you.

“You absolute child!”

“Hey, Picks has to try Barbie at least once in his life!"

“You are the…” you slapped the back of his head, causing him to yelp, “absolute worst!”

"Oh c'mahn!" He drawled in his Boston baroque as you moved to fix the toy porn scene in front of you. “I mean I'm naht a Barbie man myself, but..." he wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling your neck.

“You’re not?”

"Nope...." he kissed your skin. "I like wings."

“Smooth….”

"I have my moments," he snorted.

“Hmmm…” you moved in his arms, turning to face him.

"It's just a little fun, Angel," he smirked and kissed the tip of your nose. "You laughed, something you haven't done for a week."

You sighed. "I know, it's been busy. With both Amber and Eva already gone, and now the nursery closed for the holidays, I've been overloaded. And I'm still not feeling well."

“No?” He frowned. “I thought you said you were yesterday?”

"I just still feel tired and run down," you sighed. "Honestly, it's just the full plate but now that I'm working from home, it'll get easier. Especially with you and Ron buttoning up this case. I didn't want to say much because you're so stressed and putting in the hours."

Andy took a deep breath, “well, we have the closing arguments tomorrow so…that’s it. If no verdict by 5pm, it’s deferred until new year. I’ll be finished tomorrow evening regardless.”

"Good," your hands ran up his cotton tee covered chest and sighed. "You wanna light that fire now? We can turn the lights out and leave the tree on?"

“Mmmm get comfy, huh?” He smiled and leaned down to kiss you. “Any of that red we opened at dinner left?”

"A bit. Maybe a glass each."

“Just enough.” He smiled, “the Christmas order from the Wine club should be arriving tomorrow or the day after. I stuck a few bottles of the cheap stuff in so we can make mulled wine.”

"My favorite," you slipped from his arms and padded back toward the kitchen.

When you came back a small fire was just starting to pick up. Andy tossed on more kindling before, once satisfied it was going to take, he chucked on a log.

You passed off his glass and he took it with a soft smile, but not without kissing you gently in the glow. His free hand rest against the small of your back.

You loved the night times. Andy always made time for Lucy when he came home, playing, bathing, and reading her a story. But once she was tucked in, and it was just the two of you, he relaxed even more.

"I love you," you bumped your nose against his.

“I love you too.” He smiled, his lips brushing yours.

"What now, counselor?"

“Movie? Sit on the rug and talk?

"Rug sounds good to me,” you winked.

You both settled down, you sat between his legs, your back settled in against his chest as he leaned against the oak coffee table. One of his long legs was extended flat along the floor, the other bent at the knee.

The two of you drank your wine and talked, in the easy way you’d always been able to. Andy’s hands would rub up and down your forearms and sometimes his lips would kiss your neck. Your hands would move up and down the top part of his shin or fingers would draw lines and swirls over his thigh.

It was peaceful, intimate, and in the comfortable moments of silence, the crackle of the fire filled the room making it feel even more homely and cozy.

As the flames started to die down, you checked your watch.

"It's late, Andy," you spoke with a softness almost as if any louder you might disturb the silent night. "You don't want to be late in the morning."

“Ten more minutes.” He whispered, his lips kissing the back of your shoulder.

"Alright," you sighed in appreciation.

His lips didn’t move far from your skin. His beard tickled you as it gently rubbed against the crook of your shoulder.

You reached back to curl your hand around his neck. Your fingers ran down the length of his neck.

He hummed in appreciation, as his lips found the hinge of your jaw. You responded the same. But you leaned your body into him more as your fingers scratched at the shorter hairs along the back of his head and a hand pressed further into his thigh.

As he nuzzled into you, one hand moved, splaying across your belly as the other arm wrapped across your chest. Your hum turned into breathy grunt and sigh.

The hand that was splayed on your belly slid further down, fingers softly brushing the inside of your right thigh through your sleep pants. The other softly traced the swell of your breast. A gentle moan left your throat at the feel of his hands on you like that. Your body easily responding to your husband’s touch with a delicate yet elevated sensitivity.

Andy sighed, his lips now at your chin as his fingers danced over your nipple, which was peaked through the soft material of your sleep shirt. “Oh, Angel…so responsive for me…”

You whimpered at his voice and touch, "Mmm, yeah.” You tilted your hips back against him. His lips met yours as you felt the hand on your thigh slipping beneath the waistband of your pants.

You gasped into his mouth, the tickle of his fingers passing your mound was pleasurable. Your own fingers curled into his hair. His mouth hovered over yours, his eyes twinkling as he slowly circled your clit with his fingers, the other hand now slipping into the neckline of your top.

The twist of your body against his chest gave you a better angle to feel his hot breath against your lips. Your hips tilted forward just a pinch to practically fall into that finger circling you. You jutted your chin just a fraction outward to capture a kiss as his hand now cupped your breast.

He gave a squeeze and his thumb rubbed over your nipple now with the pad of his thumb against your skin. It was slow, delicate, like a strum to a guitar string.

"Mmm," you hummed against his lips.

“Good?” His voice was a grunt as his tipped his hips forward, his hardness pressing into the dip of your back.

"Yeah," you whispered. "S'good...."

“Can I fuck you like this?” he rasped.

Your belly knotted as your chest fluttered, "ah, fuck, yes...."

You didn’t wait, your hands moved, and you pulled off your top and then tipped your head back round to Andy.

“Lose yours.”

His hand came away from your sleep pants, your clit missing his touch, as he took that very hand to single handedly pull that collar of his sleep shirt over his head.

You moved as he did so, slipping your sleep pants down and you heard Andy groan a little behind you.

"Good?" You smirked.

He chuckled as you felt him shuffle, hands on your hips as you knelt up. He eased you back over him, one hand letting go to grip at his dick. As you moved yourself backwards, you felt his head brushing through your folds, and you moaned.

“That feels good…”

Andy sighed pleasurably as you rocked over his cock. His head tickled your clit and a delightful whimper sounded from your lips at the feel. His hands remained at your hips, not pushing, or pulling, simply resting as you dictated your speed.

It all felt so good. His hands on you, your hands bracing yourself at his thighs as you rubbed along his shaft. You felt a stir inside and changed tactic, wanting him inside you.

You stopped and shifted backwards, Andy immediately obliging. His tip slipped in with ease and you slowly sank down on him. The remnants of the burning embers and fire, now near gone, still warmed you and the Christmas lights around you casted a romantic glow across your bodies.

You leaned back against his chest as he tipped his hips upwards, both of you sighing as he filled you.

After a minute, your hips rolled as you snaked that hand and arm back and up around his neck and nape. His lips nipped at your shoulder, hands sliding up your rib cage until they cupped both of your breasts.

"Yes," you hissed. You splayed your fingers over the back of his head as the heel of your hand cradled the base.

His hips were slow, thrusts deep as his palms squeezed your mounds before his fingers pinched your nipples.

"Fuck, Andy," you squirmed.

His hands continued, teasing you as his rolls were measured. His lips brushed up your neck.

Your skin felt like it was on fire and not from the dying flames, but from Andy's touch and his deep thrusts. He filled your still tight insides with a stretch you'd grown accustomed to, desired most days and begged for at times. The way his soft hands were gentle always at first but demanding when begged for.

“Feel so good, Angel.”

"Yeah, it does," you replied with a whine. "Jesus, Andy, it's real good."

His fingers continued their massaging and plucking, your nipples so sensitive as his rolls and thrusts picked up pace ever so slightly.

Your delicate walls began to flutter against his shaft as it rubbed along your ridges. The hooded edge of his tip kissed your spongy surface as the slow drag of his thrusts slipped through you.

He kept that same, steady pace to the end, and you came with a soft whimper as his teeth nipped your shoulder.

Your weight settled with a welcome slouch against his lap as you became pliant to his touch. Your orgasm had your whole body tingling and every sense was intensified. You could feel the fibers of his hair on his thighs, the grooves of his teeth on your skin. Even the prints of his fingers and thumbs felt like imprints on your nipple and breasts.

“Oh, baby…” he cooed, “there we go…”

"Fuck, Andy...."

Andy could feel you, squeezing him as you trembled in his lap.

"Jesus, Angel...."

You could only whimper as your body kept going. It was as if a shorter, weaker, second orgasm was trickling through. An aftershock of sorts.

You were that caught up, you didn’t feel Andy as he came, but you heard his little grunt in your ear.

The room was silent bar your heavy breaths mixing with his. There was a peppering sound of soft kisses, but it were only for your ears.

"That was good, Angel."

“Mmmm.”

He lightly chuckled with a rasp to his voice but made no attempt to move you, and the two of you remained there for a bit longer.

****

Neither of you wanted to get up the next morning, but Andy knew the end was in sight. He was up, showered, downstairs and waiting with coffee before you and Lucy appeared.

He could hear the two of you in her room, giggling in excitement at what Pickles could have been up to overnight. He smirked with a flick of his brows knowing damn well what the little shit had been up to.

Soon after, the door opened and Looby ran into the room and squealed, “looks!”

"Oh my, he's had a party with your other friends!" You grinned and your eyes moved over to Andy.

He smirked at you over his mug. “Yeah, said friends look really happy. Bet Barbie had a great time last night.

You blushed, "Angel did."

He said nothing, merely arched a brow and you knew he was smug as fuck.

Breakfast was the usual affair and at 8:15 you kissed him goodbye so he could make the half hour drive to Denver.

As he went through security, he placed his case in the conveyor belt and walked through the scanner. As Andy replaced his belt and watch, stuck his phone back in his pocket, the guy at the X-ray machine peered carefully at the screen before he chuckled to himself and looked Andy.

“Merry Christmas, Mr Barber.”

"Merry Christmas, Jack," he smirked. "Have a good one."

He grabbed his case and jacket and headed through. A few moments later he entered the courtroom as spectators did but slipped through the bailiff to sit at the Defense table. He placed his case down on the desk in front of his seat, an empty one to the left where his client would sit and turned to Ron as he clicked the clasps on his case open.

“Good evening?” Ron smiled.

"Great evening,"

“Dare I ask?” Ron snorted.

Andy just smugly grinned, "Nope."

Ron chuckled as Andy opened the case and stopped dead.

“What the…” his boisterous laugh filled the room as those around took a glare at him.

“I don’t…how the hell…” he chuckled as he turned his open case to Ron. There, on top of his files, led Pickles.

Now, it was Ron's turn to join in on the laughter.

“Is that the famous Pickles?” He reached for the elf.

"That it is," Andy shook his head.

Ron grinned as he sat the Elf doll on the edge of the desk.

“Shit, Ron! You can’t…” but Andy’s attention was jerked away as the Bailiff called for order and their client was led in.

"All rise...." the spiel went on and as the judge sat down then told everyone to do the same, his eyes shot up at the defendants side.

"Barber, what the hell is that?"

Ron snorted as clearly Andy was head seat and was taking the ticking off from His Honor.

“Erm…I…”

“A new witness.” Ron quipped.

“No, I…it’s… Ron!” Andy hissed.

“It’s a little unbecoming to try and enter a new witness at such a late stage,” the Judge’s mouth twitched a little. Various titters rang round the court room.

“I’m sorry, your Honor. My daughter…she must have snuck it into my bag…” Andy grabbed the doll and pinched the bridge of his nose, “I can only apologize.”

"I'm a grandfather to twelve Barber, I get it. They’ve all had these damned Elf On A Shelf things each year for ages. But the merry little shits are annoying as hell, so put...."

"Pickles, Your Honor..." Ron interjected to more laughter.

"Pickles," the judge snorted, "back in the case until recess, huh?"

“Yes, sir…it’ll stay in there, believe me.” Andy tossed the doll into his case and closed it with a snap. “More than my life is worth to lose him.”

He glared at Ron as he sat back down, the soon retiring senior partner grinning like a fool back at him.

Thankfully, the rest of the proceedings went according to plan. The summing up was completed and then before lunch the jury were sent to consider their verdict. To Andy’s surprise, they were called by the clerk less than three hours later as the verdict was in.

Andy bit his lip and exhaled with relief as the verdict came back not guilty. The Judge nodded, and then following the sentencing for the DUI and a final consultation with their client, Andy and Ron left the courthouse. As they were leaving, the DA pulled them both to one side, informing them that she would be sanctioning an investigation into the allegations of corruption.

After Andy promised the firm would help in any way they could, they headed out into the cold air, buoyed by both the result and the fact it was now officially over in time for Christmas.

“Well,” Ron turned to Andy as he paused at his Mercedes, “not a bad one to bow out on.” He smirked as he opened his car door. “Maybe you should thank the elf…”

"You know, you're still my boss, or I'd say fahk you," he snorted.

“Only for another 2 months.” Ron grinned, “hit me with your worst!”

"Man, just 2 months left. I can’t believe you’re bowing out, you bastard!" Andy chuckled.

"Oh yes, yes I am," Ron touted. "I've put in my time. I'm seventy, and I’m done."

Andy had the door open to his Audi coupe, "I'm heading back for a few hours before going home.”

“What? Why? Fuck that! It’s back past your house to go to the office and you’ve done enough. We tied everything up, so go home. That’s an order, and as I’m still your boss…”

“Fahking fahk you!” Andy snorted, as Ron shot him a look. “Okay, okay, I’ll go home!”

“Good! I’ll check.”

“Don’t I know it. Hey, are you and Giselle coming by for dinner still?"

“Absolutely, be with you at seven-ish. Unfortunately, I’m driving as the boys, wives, and grandkids land early tomorrow morning so…”

“Yeah, you mentioned. Don’t worry, Y/N’s made mulled cider, not wine. Coupla beers if you fancy. Lucy will no doubt have us up at the crack of dawn, so we won’t have much either. Save it for tomorrow.”

“Speaking of my little pal, will she still be up tonight when we arrive or…”

“Well, she goes down around seven but she’s not in nursery, sure we can let her stay up a little longer. You never know, she may lay in tomorrow, I can pray for a Christmas miracle.” Andy winked.

"Good," Ron winked, "I'd hate to miss spoiling my God daughter on Christmas Eve Eve!" Ron chuckled and slipped into his Mercedes. He rolled down the window and shouted over the loud dual muffler. "See you at seven!"

With a smirk, Andy climbed into his car and pulled out of the lot, dialing his secretary’s number just to check in. By the time he was home, he was satisfied all his loose ends for the years were tied up and he was absolutely ready for the ten or so days break he would get.

The moment he stepped inside the house, he could smell the spirit of Christmas. Clearly, you'd been busy. And the motley crew of decorated cookies who seen better days proved so as they sat on the counter.

“Daddy!”

"Looby-saurus!" Andy kneeled down and dropped his case and jacket to his feet as he caught her little body.

“We medz cookies!” She grinned as she wrapped her little arms round his neck.

"I can see that! Did you decorate them?" He picked one up and offered her a bite before taking one himself.

“Yups!” She nodded. “Mama says Uncle Won and Aunti Zel will wike dem!”

"Oh, I bet they will, they're gonna be here later," he kissed her cheek. Then he turned to his right and kissed you tenderly.

"How'd it go?" Your hands pressed into his chest.

"Standard sentence for the DUI: fine and costs plus community service and a driving ban, no custodial or probation. But we expected that as it’s his first offense. Main thing is, not guilty for the possession," he said softly with a smile. “Which means we just ripped open an IA on the department.”

"Well, congrats BB, it all worked out. And judging by the early arrival, you're home for good now?"

“Yup.” He grinned and jiggled Lucy a little. “I’m done now until the 6th of January!”

You grinned, "Did you hear that, Lucy? Daddy-Rex is home for a lot of days!"

“Yay!” She cheered.

“So,” Andy set Lucy on the kitchen counter, “what else did my girls do today?”

"We cleaned up, made our cookies, had a Snowball fight!" You smiled.

"I gots Gwant. Den, he pushed me."

“He pushed you?” Andy gasped, as he reached to unwrap his scarf, “well that’s just put him right on Santas naughty list!”

"Das what I says!" Lucy opened her hands up like she was saying 'I don't know.'

"Lucy, hop down and go wash so you can help me, okay?" You offered.

Andy gently dropped her to her feet, and she ran off with excitement towards the bathroom by the laundry room.

He took off his coat, dropped it over the back of one of the tall stools which sat under the breakfast counter and loosened his tie.

He snorted as he lifted his case to set it in the same stool, remembering what was inside, "the fahkin' elf."

"What was that?" You looked up at him.

Andy moved his case to the counter and looked at you, “open it…”

You dried your hands from your work and walked around to the stool. You clicked the locks on the top and opened the case. Then, you sputtered a loud snort that turned into a chuckle. "How...I swear I did NOT do that!"

“Well, if it wasn’t you, it was either that spotty little Asshole or Lucy.”

Knowing full well it wasn't Grant, you simply smirked and titled your chin as your eyes humorously looked at your husband.

“Ron sat the damned thing on the desk, in court. Then told the judge it was a new witness.”

Your jaw dropped as you tried to cover it, "oh no...." you started chuckling again.

“Thankfully, the judge saw the funny side.” Andy snorted.

"I'd hope! It's Callahan, right? Guy's got a crap load of kids and grandkids." You remembered the judge from Andy having had a trial previously with him.

“That’s the one.” He nodded, then spun round as Lucy came back into the room.

"Looby…." you smirked, "where's Pickles? He was here this morning..."

“Erms…” instantly she adopted the same guilty expression Andy wore when he’d been caught out and Andy grinned.

“Pickles has been in court!”

"I knows!" She giggled and put her chubby little hands over her grinning face. "He goes!"

“Did you put him in my briefcase?” Andy gasped, “I thought he climbed in!”

"I halps!"

“Well, he got to see the judge. Uncle Ron sat him on the table.”

“He did?” She squealed, “was you in tempt?”

Andy chuckled, "almost!"

You blinked, not quite sure how your nearly three year old knew what that was, let alone how to use it in the right context. But then again, she was bright as a button. Her vocabulary and self-awareness already streets ahead of what you’d expect of a child her age.

"Alright, Smart Bunny," you shook your head with a smirk, "I need your help with the snacks while Daddy goes and changes for Ron and Giselle."

“Otay…oh, I puts Pickles back first?”

"Yes," Andy thrust him in her direction, "He needs to think about what to tell Santa tonight about his day!"

As she took the elf, Grant sidled over, his tail wagging.

“No, Gwant!” Looby sternly told him. “Daddy, you ups so I reaches?”

“Absolutely.” Andy picked her up and crossed the dining area to the living space where the larger tree sat.

She reached and set the elf right on what Lucy had deemed the 'homes' branch next to a red bauble. Grant sat looking up, licking his lips.

"NO GWANT! Bad dog!" Lucy shook her finger at him. "No eats!"

“He can’t reach, baby.” Andy kissed her head, “don’t worry.”

You snorted as you heard, "I wouldn't trust that. He got all the way to the back of the counter this morning."

“He what?” Andy wheeled round.

"Yep," you popped your 'p'. "This," you indicated to the chicken and mushroom pasta bake waiting to go into the oven, "is the second one. Lucy and I had to go back to the market after nap." You glared at the dalmatian.

“Fur coat…” Andy grumbled.

"Today, I'd agree." You snorted.

Andy headed up with a shake of his head to change and decompress from the day before Ron and Giselle were to arrive. It felt damn good to keep the laptop closed for at least a week and ignore important emails for just as long. He hung his tie and shirt, ready for the cleaners as well as his suit pieces. He slipped into dark jeans and a thin sweater, keeping his undershirt from the day on.

You heard his boots thud along the stairs as he came back down to join you and Lucy.

The three of you prepared the rest of the snacks and the accompanying sides to the pasta bake. Lucy then had her dinner, and Andy took her upstairs for a bath and to change into her pajamas ready for the evening.

"No bed," she argued as he slipped her snowmen sleep shirt over her head.

“No, not yet. You can stay up and see Uncle Ron first. Maybe open the presents they’re bringing if mama says you can.”

"Oh... Can I seep wif Daddy Wex and Mommy?"

“I tell you what, you can go to sleep in our bed with the tv on and then I’ll move you later on, okay?”

"Otay, Gwant comes?”

“Yeah, Grant can sleep with you.”

She grinned, "Ups, peas, we goes!"

Andy chuckled, “want me to carry you or you wanna ride on my back?”

"Back!"

“Alright, robe and slippers on first.”

"'tay," she slid off her bed, feet first with her belly to the duvet.

She slipped her little feet into her Rudolph slippers that Pickles had bought one morning and then Andy held out her little dinosaur robe.

"Danks, Daddy Wex." Then Lucy gasped, "Daddy!"

"What, Bunny?"

"Oh nos! I forgot!"

Andy crouched down, "hey... Lucy what is it?"

"I fogots my assdent!"

Andy tried not to laugh, “that’s okay, we’ll open it now.”

"Okay..."

“Now…” Andy swiveled round, “hop on…”

He grunted as she did, then stood and tossed her a bit so he could settle her evenly, causing her to giggle. At the same time, he thanked whomever that she was still tiny, or he'd be fucked with his old man back.

“Lessgo Daddy-wex!”

With a roar, Andy jogged out of her room, causing her to shriek and giggle. You heard their laughs and giggles before his feet touched the stairs to come down and just as they hit the first floor, there was a knock on the door. Grant barking to make sure they were all well aware.

"Deys here! Dems here!"

“Well let’s go let them in!” Andy exclaimed back, bouncing to the door.

He opened the inside door to the porch first, Lucy still on his back and then he swung the heavy oak outside one inwards.

"Uncle Won! Auntie Zel!”

“Well, hi!” Ron beamed, as Lucy bounced on Andy’s back.

“Come on in outta the cold!” Andy chuckled, stepping back. He crouched so Lucy could slide off his back.

“Lemme get inside, pipsqueak!” Ron chuckled, “get these bags down so I can give you a hug!”

The greetings were spread between all and once the excitement died down and Lucy showed Giselle everything, she had in her advent for the fifth time, they'd settled in the living room by the fire.

“Bunny, did you open your advent for today now or did you forget again?” Andy asked.

"Aun Zelle halped! Penny gots me dis!" She held up a toy so close to his eye that he needed to lean back to see it.

“Another dinosaur!” Andy grinned.

"Issa di.... Di..."

“Diplodocus…” Andy said, pronouncing it carefully so Lucy could copy.

"Diplodikis"

“That’s it. Hi five!” Andy grinned.

Ron found the mispronunciation hilarious while and Giselle rolled your eyes.

"Alright, Looby Loo, you get to open your gifts from us, and then I heard Pickles say it was bedtime," Ron sighed.

Lucy opened her mouth to argue but a look from Andy stopped her impending protest dead.

“Remember what we agreed upstairs, bunny.” He spoke softly but firmly.

"Yes," she sighs a bit.

“Come on…it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow, we got a big day!”

"What's we do?"

“Well, we got breakfast and the last Advent day, then we’re gonna take Grant for a walk by the creek, build a snowman. Then we’re gonna help Mommy get things ready, before we go to Patti’s for dinner and watch the Carol singers. Then it’s home, and we make sure Pickles is ready to go back to the North Pole with Santa!”

"Santa! I sees him near Patti's," Lucy grinned as she took an outstretched gift from her Godfather. "Fanks!"

She flopped down as she started to unwrap the first present, but then paused halfway through ripping off the first bit of paper

“How’s comes dese presents here?”

“Well, you see, Santa brings some presents, but friends and family, well they buy each other things too.” You smiled, running your hand over her head. “So, Uncle Ron and Auntie Giselle bought these for you. And in a minute, you can give them their gifts from us.”

"Oh...." she drew out.

She continued and squealed as she unwrapped her gifts, which formed a set of new art supplies, complete with a wooden box with her name on to keep them in.

"I wuv dems! Fank you!"

“You’re very welcome, honey.” Giselle caught her hug before she then ran to Ron.

“Merry Christmas, my little squish monster!” Ron hugged her tight.

After exchanging the adult gifts, Looby was ushered round to say goodnight before Andy carried her upstairs.

That gave you the chance to invite Ron and Giselle to the dining area to take their seats so you could eat.

The hour was late by the time things were consumed and cleaned up. Giselle helped you, despite Andy's protests that he and Ron should be doing it. Even Giselle told Andy to piss off as she found it to be the perfect point in time for 'the two of you to have your cigars and scotch'.

She stirred the mulled cider and inhaled the aromatic scent that made one's heart warm and fill with a delightful holiday spirit. "So, what'd you get Andy for Christmas?"

“A long weekend in Vermont, towards the end of January.” you smiled. “Ron helped me, said he’d wangle the diaries. Booked us a cabin. Lucy’s going to my parents.”

"Oh, how lovely! You two deserve a trip like that. A log cabin, big fire, skiing! Ugh, we haven't done that since Ronnie's hip replacement. Old fart seizes up as soon as it hits forty*.”

You chuckled, “you know I’ve never been skiing. Andy has, not for a while.” You smiled, “and, then from Lucy…” you grinned, “I booked them one of the experience days at the museum, you know where they do the special dinosaur days and tours?”

Giselle grinned and opened her mouth to answer you, but you suddenly felt extremely warm and a little bit funny.

"Y/N?"

“I’m fine just…it’s a little warm, that’s all.” You waved Giselle away, “been feeling off for a few days.”

"Well, here, sit," she guided you to one of your bar stools. "I'll finish these." She grabbed you a glass of water.

“Thanks…” you sat down, glancing over to where Andy and Ron were sat. Neither seemed to have noticed.

After a few sips of water, you felt better and were thankfully able to participate in the rest of the night.

But something was niggling in the back of your mind, and you couldn’t quite figure out what.

*****

Christmas Eve morning had you slowly starting the morning. And that was despite Andy's plans of a big busy day.

But no worries, it was a lazy breakfast, more brunch really, and then you set off for a walk. Andy made good on his promise, you built a snowman the three of you before heading home and warming up with hot chocolate and a snack.

Then, you loaded into your jeep and headed back into Boulder. You let Lucy give Patti the small gift you’d bought for her, and in exchange she was very happy with the dinosaur book Patti gave her.

Then, after your burgers and fries you went out onto the square full of little Christmas market stalls, to wait for the Carol service.

Lucy and Andy were busy examining something at one of the stalls when you glanced around, and it suddenly hit you. What that nagging feeling had been.

You moved towards Andy and gently stood on your toes.

“One last thing I need to pick up, won’t be long…”

“Alright…” he leaned down, giving you a quick kiss.

You shot off across the square, slipped into the shop in question, leaving less than five minute late with your purchase stuck in your inside pocket. You needed another quick pit stop, before you returned ten minutes after you had left.

“Looks, Mommy!” Lucy excitedly waved a little wooden tree ornament at you as you reached her and Andy. “Is a daddy wex!”

“Oh, wow!” You beamed. “That’s amazing!”

“We got three!” Andy grinned. “A daddy rex, a mommy rex and a Looby saurus.”

“Hmmm, that’s great.” You beamed, “but…well, you might need to add another.”

"What?" Andy looked as if he hadn't entirely heard you.

You reached into your pocket, dipping your chin into your scarf a little and pulled out the test you’d just done. Thankfully, Lucy was too busy looking at the Carol singers who were now walking into the square with their lanterns to hear Andy’s exclamation.

“Holy fahking shit!”

You grinned. It was all you could do.

His nose was redder than seconds ago his eyes definitely not stinging from the winter air. He had no words, but you could see it on his face.

You'd just given him the third best gift of his life with you.

And pulled his hands from his pockets and quickly grabbed your face. His beard poked then tickled your cheeks as he kissed you, hard.

Lucy giggled, “kissy!” and you spluttered a bit as he pulled away.

“I know….we hadn’t planned another after Lucy, and…we’re gonna be a bit older than we both probably wanna be but…oh, Andy!” You couldn’t help the tears of happiness that pricked your eyes, “another baby!”

He grinned and pulled your face to his again. "I love you, fahk, I fahking love you much, baby."

You spluttered, allowing him to kiss you again before a yell of protest came from Lucy.

You broke apart quickly with a wet laugh from you both. Andy spoke first his voice able to carry over the growing crowd.

"What's the matter?"

“I no sees ” She looked up at you both, pointing to the singers who were now stood ready to start on the small makeshift stage in the middle. Her woolly hat slipped down over her eyes and Andy chuckled. He lifted her up into his arms, righted her hat and gave her cheek a huge kiss.

“Shoulders, peez!”

He grinned and tossed your daughter in her rightful place. Once she was settled, and her holding on, Andy looked down at you again.

His free hand cupped your jaw while his fingers carted through your hair and around the base of your head. "Here we go again," he grinned and bent as far as he could without losing Lucy.

You pressed up on your toes and met him the rest of the way, a final searing kiss to your lips as the opening carol played.

"Angels we have heard on high

Sweetly singing o'er the plains

And the mountains in reply

Echoing their joyous strains...."

"Thanks, Santa," Andy whispered as he pulled away

****

Chapter 25

#consciousness of guilt #andy barber x you #andy barber x reader #Andy barber smut #defending jacob #defending Jacob fan fic #Chris Evans characters

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