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wiypt-writes · 2 years ago

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Consciousness Of Guilt

Chapter 25

Summary: You and Andy find out the sex of your new baby, and that leads Andy to an important decision.

Warnings: Language, adult themes, and an Andy who needs a hug…

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar the reader and any other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer. I do not consent to my work being translated or posted elsewhere. If you see this fiction on any site other than Tumblr it has been taken without permission.

W/C: 6.6k

A/N: So, here we are. The penultimate chapter. Hard to believe we’re almost there. As always, massive Thanks to my beta @spectre-writes

Consciousness Of Guilt Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 24

6.6k

Andy was nervous. Why he didn't know. Not entirely. It wasn't his first, maybe not his last. But sitting with you in the ultrasound room this time around had his knee bouncing and his stomach in knots. He hadn't even felt this way with Lucy's gender scan. This was...just different. You looked over at him and sighed. "Andy, relax." Your eyes were incredibly soft as you looked him over. He looked tired, you knew he was. He hadn't been sleeping much lately. He had to prepare for this seminar and a trial all at once. And when the work took over, keeping sleep at bay or to a minimum, the dreams started. It kept you up too and then he'd force himself to bed just so you'd sleep. Before your mind could think more and Andy could reply, the technician came in with a bright smile. “Me and Mrs Barber?” She pulled up the ultrasound machine as she walked round to the side of the trolley you were sat on. "Yep," Andy rubbed his hands on his thighs and stood to join you as you situated yourself on the table. She smiled as you lifted up your top, and then looked at you both. “So, you wanna know what you’re having, huh?” "Yes!" You grinned. "We did with our first." “Are they going to be a big brother or sister?” “Sister.” You smiled, “she’s so excited.” “I have three myself, a girl and twin boys," the technician grinned. "Lay back for me, this will be just a little cold." She squirted the gel on your lower abdomen after you'd undone your pants. "Are we taking bets, guesses, desires?" You glanced at Andy, swallowed a little, and you reached for his hand. “You have a feeling don’t you?” He nodded, "boy." He smiled at you as you squeezed his fingers. “Well, let’s see if dads right.” It took a couple of minutes, finding the baby and taking images for the more necessary parts of the scan. "Things look good," the technician smiled. "I can't say for sure since I'm not an MD but pieces and parts look good. Are we ready for the sex?" You looked at your husband. “Andy?” Andy nodded and squeezed your hand. "Are you a betting man, Mr Barber?" The tech looked at you both with a straight face. “I’ve had the occasional flutter, but it’s been a while.” He gave a little chuckle. “Well, take your odds to Vegas," the tech smiled and turned her screen. "It's a boy." Your eyes pricked with tears as you felt Andy’s hand tight around yours. "I'll get these printed for you and leave them with your chart when you go," she smiled warmly. "Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Barber." “Thank you,” you smiled, your eyes watching her go. When the door clicked shut, you looked over at Andy with tears in your eyes, "Andy...." “A boy…” he whispered. "Yeah," you said softly. "A boy." Your stomach was in knots as you tried to read your husband. For the first time since your very beginning, you couldn't. His eyes were shifting around the room, quickly. Looking at everything, yet focussing on nothing. "Okay," you took a shuddering breath and sat up, letting go of his hand. You swallowed the lump in your throat and slid off the table. You did up your pants, the with a turn on your foot, you stood between Andy's legs. "I can't imagine what's in your head right now," you knew exactly how his mind was whirring. "I won't pretend I do. But I am so happy, and I know you are too, BB. Just process it, okay, we'll talk about it all later." You kissed his lips tenderly as you cupped his face. "When you're ready." “Angel…” he reached up for your hand. "Yeah?" You whispered. His other hand curled round the back of your thigh as he sat up, his nose softly brushing the t-shirt which was stretched a little over your bump. “Hi, son…” he whispered, his voice cracking. Your bottom lip quivered and you sniffed. Your hand moved to the top of your little bump and you sputtered. His forehead pressed gently to your belly before those azure eyes looked up at you, misty with tears. “I love you so much.” "I love you, too, Andy," you cupped his cheek, your thumb running over his cheekbone. "We both do, we all do." Andy licked his lips, before he moved a little and you stepped back to allow him to stand up. He wiped his eyes, took a deep breath and then turned to you. “Wow…” You tearfully grinned, "I know." He moved and wrapped his arms around you, holding you close. “Suppose we best go tell Looby.” Andy snorted as the pair of you moved towards the door. Once you’d collected what you needed to, you made your way out towards Andy’s Audi, hand in hand. “So…how do you think we should do it?” You asked. “Tell Lucy, I mean.” "Suppose we just tell her?" Andy shrugged, still sniffing a little. "I'm not sure. How'd you find out about your sister?" “Mom and dad didn’t find out.” You shook your head. "Oh," he nodded and opened the door for you. "Well, then I guess we just tell her," he chuckled a little. "But we have the drive back to Ron's to figure it out." “Oh…erm can you stop by the bakery?” "Sure," he closed your door and walked around the back of the car to his side. Once in and settled, he started the car and backed out of the space. Turning left rather than right, toward Ron's, he took you to the little bakery you liked so much just down the road from the diner. As you pulled up outside, Andy stopped the car and then turned to you. “What is it?” You asked softly. “I wanna tell Lucy about both her brothers.” Your head slowly turned to look at him. "Okay..." “I mean…I know she’s probably too young to understand about Jacob, but if I tell her and keep telling her as she grows up…then she’s gotta understand as she gets older, right?” You kicked your lips. You weren't entirely surprised by his decision. You knew the day would come when Andy would want to tell Lucy about her big brother. He was after all, in the grand scheme of it, the reason she was born. But could a three year old possibly understand? That said, Lucy was very much like her father, brilliant in thought and smooth in word. Maybe you were doing her a disservice in doubting her. But more so, you knew this was less about her understanding than it was about Andy needing to tell her. You exhaled, “Andy," you paused, waiting for his eyes to flick to you. "I think you’re right. I think you should.” “Maybe…I…” he swallowed, “I just don’t think I know how.” You took a second to think, "that's okay too, BB. You'll know when you figure it out. If you want me there, I can be. I will be. But it's also okay for you to go at it alone with her." His hand reached for yours and he lifted it, softly kissing the soft skin of your wrist. “Thank you.” "I love you," you said softly, "and I know our son is..." your voice waivered, "our son is just as important as Jacob was. He won't replace his big brother. Just like Lucy never could. I can't possibly imagine how you're feeling, and part of me doesn't want to." You sniffed as the emotions started to take hold. "This is a big deal," you squeezed his hand, "and I'm always here, just like I've always been, always will be." Andy sniffed a little, before he glanced at you again. “I can’t tell you how happy I am. Another baby, a boy…” You lifted his hand to your lips, "I know...."

*********

Lucy sat in the living room in front of the film collection that sat below the television. You had gone to take a well-deserved nap so Andy popped popcorn for he and his little bunny to pass the time. He wanted to spend as much time with her as he could before the new baby arrived. For once she became a big sister, the Barber family would be forever changed. A familiar shape caught Lucy's eye and she pulled the case out. Her eyes grew wide as she stood and practically ran it over to Andy as he sat on the couch waiting for her choice.

"Daddy Wex we wash dis one!" She flopped on the couch next to him.

Andy looked over at her to take the case from her hand just as a feather escaped the couch cushion and floated between them.

The simple action made Lucy giggle as she tried to catch it.

Andy was caught off guard by the floating object, his focus quickly shifting away from Lucy. He felt his chest tighten and then he heard her giggle, her voice.

A blurred image of a T-Rex skeleton filled his vision. "Whoa, back up a second," he croaked then cleared his throat. "I can't see with it so close, bunny."

“Iss a Dino!” She moved a little allowing Andy to take the case from her.

“This…” he glanced at the Jurassic Park Blu-ray and sighed, “Looby this is gonna be way too grown up and scary for you.“

"But issa t-wex. I nots get scared, Daddy. I pwomise!"

Andy looked at her, and then he noticed the feather had landed in her hair.

It didn’t escape him just how much she was like Jacob, how he would often cajole Andy into allowing him to stay up later than he should or eat things that perhaps weren’t the wisest of choices just before bed.

And now, that feather…it was almost like Jake was telling him, “don’t be such a square, Dad…”

He chuckled with a little splutter and sniffed. It was the first feather he'd seen in a while and of all days for it to appear, it was now. With Lucy, and on the day the two of you found out your new baby was a boy. Andy reached out and plucked the feather from her hair and swallowed back the lump in his throat. And he knew, the time was right.

“Okay, we can…but first, there’s something I wanna talk to you about.”

“I not does it, Gwant ates your belt."

Andy blinked, “no, I…wait, he ate my belt?”

"Ooops," Lucy grinned with a giggle as she covered her mouth.

“Why would you think I would think you…you know what, it doesn’t matter. That’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

Lucy climbed up into his lap and sat there with her legs slung over his thighs, her little legs bouncing. Eyes that looked like his own gazed up at him as if he were the best thing in the world.

“So…you know before, when you got your cupcake…and it had blue frosting…”

"Because I gets a brudder! I so essited!" Lucy beamed at him,

“Me too, baby.” Andy swallowed, “But I wanna tell you something. About a long time ago, before I met your mommy.”

“Like when there was dinos?”

“No, not quite!” Andy laughed, “I’m not that old!”

Looby giggled again and Andy took a deep breath. “But, back then, I had a different family.”

"You did?" Lucy frowned.

Andy nodded. “I had a different wife…and a boy…a son.”

"Oh...not Mommy, nots my baby?"

“No.” Andy shook his head. “He was older, a lot older than you.”

"Oh..." she was quiet for a minute. "Where deys goes?"

“They…they died. In an accident.”

"Oh...." Lucy frowned, "Yous sad?"

“I was, Bunny. For a long time. Sometimes I still am. But you and mommy…and now our new baby, you make it better.”

In a mature move, that surprised even Andy, Lucy threw herself into his chest. Her little body twisted to hug him close. "Nos be sad, Daddy." She whispered, "it's otay."

Andy choked a little, his arms cuddling his daughter close. “Oh, Lucy. I love you. So much.”

"Who's he? Your uvver boy?”

“His name...his name was Jake. Jacob.”

"Jay-cob," Lucy repeated. "Jacob wiked dime-osaurs."

Andy blinked, “he…he did. What….what makes you say that?”

"I wike dem, so Jay-cob wiked dem."

Andy looked down at his daughter. “He did, he liked them a lot.”

She grinned, "wike you and me."

“Just like me and you.” Andy smiled. “You know what else he liked?”

"Wut?"

“Ice cream.”

Lucy squealed, "I wuv ice cream!"

“I know,” Andy grinned.

"We has some? Wiff the movie?”

Andy chuckled, “okay, but we should probably ask Mommy. Or I'll be in big trouble!”

Lucy climbed down from where she sat and waited for Andy to get up. She took his big hand with her tiny one and pulled him toward the stairs.

"Where are we going?" He asked.

"To ask Mommy about ice cweam!"

"Oh, hang on, Looby!" Andy chuckled and pulled her back to him. "Mommy is taking a nap, why don't we start with our popcorn and when she wakes up, we ask about the ice cream?"

Lucy looked like she was in deep thought. Her little eyebrows rose into her forehead. "Just a wittle bit? I won'ts tell if you won'ts!"

There it was again, that glimmer of Jacob inside his sister. Andy supposed it was what he gave his children, sneaky little traits. He snorted, “alright, let’s go see what we got.”

Andy had just about finished scooping Lucy's strawberry ice cream into her bowl when he heard your voice. "What are you doing?"

Andy and Lucy stopped dead as you walked into the kitchen.

“Uh oh, Looby…”

“Busted!” Lucy giggled.

"Ice cream before dinner?" Your hands went to your hips, slightly masked by your little bump.

“Iss for the moovie mommy!”

You couldn't help but playfully sneer at them but then turned that smirk into a grin, "Where's my bowl?!"

Andy's grin matched yours as he slid the bowl intended for his own ice cream in front of him and began adding scoops. "How much, Angel?"

“Plenty.” You grinned.

Andy chuckled and scooped up your bowl. Lucy sat on the counter bouncing her feet as she held her bowl in her lap.

“So, what movie are we watching?”

"Juwassic Pahk!" Lucy replied.

You blinked. “Really?”

"Yup!" Lucy took a bite of her ice cream.

"Andy, are you sure?" You were a little concerned.

"We'll give it a try," he smiled softly. "Trust me, Angel."

"Mommy! Guess what?" Lucy asked.

"What?" You replied.

"Daddy says I has a Jay-cob wike my baby. He wikes dinos and ice cream likes me!”

“Daddy told you about your big brother huh?” You smiled.

At that Lucy frowned. “He’s not my brudder.”

"Why do you say that?" You asked as Andy frowned.

"Because you not his mommy," she sighed.

Andy sighed, he'd hoped she had understood what he told her but maybe he’d been a little optimistic to expect her to fully understand how the dynamics would work. He looked at you, as you registered his reaction. “I didn’t even think to try and explain that…”

"Hey, it’s okay…” You smiled gently. “Lucy, you’re right. I'm not Jacob’s mommy…”

“Dems hows he my brudder?”

"Because just like your baby brother in here,” you rubbed your bump, “ you share Daddy with him. Jacob was your brother because you have the same Daddy.”

“Oh…buts not the same mommy?”

“No baby, Jacob’s mommy was a different lady, her name was Laurie. Daddy was married to her before he met me.”

“Otay.” Looby nodded. “I sees.”

“You do?” Andy felt his heart lighten at little at her words.

“Yups. Jay-cob was my brudder, because we has the same daddy.” She repeated with a final firm nod.

“That’s it.” Andy smiled softly, “you’re so clever, Bunny.”

“Buts he in heaven nows, mommy.”

You looked at Andy as she'd said it, and saw his eyes misting as you answered for him. “Yeah, Looby, he is."

Lucy then sighed, “so I cants see him.”

“You know…” Andy quickly wiped his eyes, “I can show him to you. If you like?”

"Otay," she smiled. She handed you her bowl of ice cream, "Don't eats it, Mommy!"

“Okay, I won’t.” You chuckled.

With a soft smile, Andy looked at you.

“You go, I'll meet you at the couch.”

He nodded and swooped Lucy up in his arms off the counter.

He carried her across to the study, and gently sat her on the oak desk. He reached for a photo which sat next to one of you both and Lucy, taken a few months back, and he gently held it out.

“This is Jacob. And me.” He smiled softly. “We were in our garden of my old home.”

"Hi Jay-cob," Lucy smiled, "I your sissy, Looby."

Andy smiled as he watched, the lump in his throat thick.

"We has Daddy."

At that Andy had to look away, his chest feeling tight.

"Yous ups in Heaven wiff Bongo. Das Nanny and Gwampa’s doggy. He dieded..."

At that Andy couldn’t help but splutter a chuckle at the memory of the raggedy dog he had first met all those years back. Sadly, old age and ill health had forced your parents to make the decision all pet owners dread, and they’d done the kindest thing for him last week.

“You know, I think I’m gonna miss Bongo…” Andy smiled softly.

"Wike you misses Jay-cob?"

“Kinda.” Andy nodded.

"I wike him," Lucy looked away from the photo and to Andy. "Das my brudder, Jay-cob."

Andy immediately felt the sting in his nose, and he sniffed. “I’m sure…” his voice cracked, “I’m sure he would have liked you too, Looby.”

Ever astute, Lucy looked up at Andy, "Daddy....why you crying?"

Andy hesitated and thought about brushing it off but instead he gently picked Lucy up.

“I sometimes do when I think of Jake, but you…you make it all better.”

"I does?"

“Absolutely. Now…you know what I need?”

"A big Looby-Sore-us hug?”

“A huge Looby-Saurus hug.” Andy nodded.

Her arms wrapped around his neck and squeezed.

Andy hugged her back, his face burying into her hair. “I love you so much, don’t ever forget that.”

"I lobes you too," her little forehead touched his. "Daddy?”

“Yes, baby?”

"Can we has our popcorn and ice cream now?"

Andy laughed, “sure. Come on.”

Her little arms wrapped around his neck and held on tight as he carried her across the hall.

“Well, there you are!” You smiled as they both walked into the living space.

"Any longer and you'd miss out on ice cream! It's melting!"

"We're sorry, Angel," Andy kissed Lucy's temple and set her down. He bent his neck and gave you a soft kiss, his hand settling over your small bump.

“It’s okay,” you smiled, “did you guys…”

"Yeah, I think so," he replied softly. His eyes still a little pink.

"Are you okay?" You gently rubbed his arm.

With a nod and sniffle, Andy sighed with a small shake in his chest. "It's just fine."

"I love you, Andy."

“I love you too, Angel, all of you.”

With your hand over his, you smiled ever so gently as you all settled down to watch the film.

Surprisingly to you, maybe not so much to Andy, Lucy was fine with most of the film but didn’t like the bit where the Raptors were chasing Tim and Lexi through the kitchen. She asked Andy to fast forward through that bit, so he did.

There were no nightmares, just an excited little girl babbling all about the best bits of the film to Andy the next morning as he got her ready for nursery, asking when she could watch it again.

The rest of your week passed quickly, as did the weekend, and soon Monday morning rolled around bringing with it four nights away for Andy at a conference in New York. He was reticent to leave you, but you waved his worry away. Your pregnancy hadn’t been any more difficult than with Lucy and you felt more than capable of coping without him. You kissed him goodbye as he left in the morning, watching his baby girl hug him tight before you both then set off for the office and nursery, Grant perched in the seat next to Lucy so he could take up residency in his corner of your office as usual.

That evening, on the way home you stopped by the pet store as you’d run out of dog treats for your office stash. You let Lucy hold Grants leash as you pushed the trolley around, popping in a few bags of natural treats and titbits.

Lucy then asked to go look at the tanks of fish at the back, and she watched with fascination at how the assistant was catching a few for a sale when she gave a gasp and tugged at your top.

“Mommy, please! We hasta get Daddy-Wex a fish!"

You paused, then frowned. “Looby, why do you say that?”

"I fink he's sad," she shrugs.

“You do?”

"Yeah," she kicked dust on the ground. "I fink he misses Jay-cob."

You took a deep breath. Andy had, indeed, been a lot more reflective than you’d seen him in a long time since the day of your sexing scan. And, whilst you knew he was happy about the news you were having a boy, you also knew he was still wrapping his head around it all. And that was okay, he’d get there in time.

What you hadn’t realised was that your beautiful and smart three year old had noticed the change in her daddy too. And moreover, you had absolutely no idea how the hell she’d joined the dots as to what the problem was. But she had.

“You know, you’re right, he does miss Jacob.” You looked down at her. “And I think that because the new baby is going to be a boy, it’s making daddy think about Jacob a lot. But he’s gonna be okay.”

"I don't wike it when Daddy is sad."

“I don’t either,” you sighed, cupping her face. “But I promise, you help him. He loves you, baby. And you make him smile.” You then looked at the tank of fancy goldfish and bit your lip. “Why do you think fish will make daddy feel better?”

"Because he wikes the fish at the aquaridum!"

You felt your heart swell, and the tears of emotion prick your eyes at just how observant and thoughtful your little girl was.

“You’re right…” you nodded, and then you decided; screw it. “You know, if we wanna get him some fish, we gotta get a tank and set it all up first…”

"Oh, can we!"

“Sure, why not.” You smiled. “We can set it up and then come back for the fish at the end of the week, before daddy comes home.”

"He's gonna be so happy, Mommy! So happy!"

You smiled, you had no idea whether Andy wanted fish or not, but you knew he’d love them simply because his little girl had picked them for him, for a very caring reason.

So, off you went, loading the trolley up with an adequately sized set up, including lights, filter, substrate, and a large ornament which was in the shape of a t-rex skeleton skull.

You knew that lifting the things inside the house wasn't going to be the best of ideas if Andy sussed it out, but you didn't need to enlist help either. So when you got home, with Lucy's help carrying the lighter things, you managed to get the tank and things inside and sat in Andy's office where Lucy wanted to set up the tank.

Lucy helped you arrange the ornaments and pop in the plants, then it was a case of filling it up. You had the bright idea of using the hosepipe and attaching it to the tap in the cloakroom across the hall, and it worked pretty well all things considered.

“Iss dirty!” Lucy peered at the water.

“No, it just needs to settle.” You assured her as you flicked the filter on and added the chemicals they had told you to at the shop. “Tomorrow morning it’ll be much better.”

"Can I watch it?" Lucy grinned, complete excitement dancing in her eyes.

“There’s not much to see,” you chuckled, “but I got a better idea.”

"What?"

“Why don’t you come and look on the iPad for the types of fish we should get daddy whilst I make dinner?”

"Oh, yay!" Lucy clapped, "I esscited!"

“I know, honey, I can tell. And Daddy’s gonna love his surprise.”

"I hope sos!" Lucy smiled up at you.

You smiled down and her and took her hand, leading her to the kitchen and grabbing your tablet along the way.

True to her word, Lucy picked out a few good fish to start Andy's collection. As you didn’t work Thursdays or Fridays, Lucy didn’t attend nursery, so Thursday afternoon you took her to a specialist aquatics shop this time and let her explain to the assistant what she wanted with the pictures she had printed off and watched, smiling as the young man led her round to the cold water tanks.

When you got home, the two of you started the process of integrating the fish in the tank. Lucy couldn’t wait to tell Andy all about them.

And she would get her chance in one more sleep. Andy was scheduled to touch back down in Denver just after eleven the next morning and would be home just after lunch.

“Deys look happy, mommy!” She giggled as the four fancy goldfish swam around the various plants. “Buts deys so smalls!”

“They’re babies, Bunny.” You smiled, “that’s why. But the man told you they’ll grow bigger and that’s the perfect amount for the tank size.”

"But no more than four," Lucy held up four fingers. "Or that's toooo mush!"

You chuckled at the way she said it, that was her and Andy’s thing. Andy had always asked her how much daddy loved Looby and that was the standard response. Tooo much.

“You’re right, it is too much.” You smiled, hand on your bump as your baby boy was wriggling. “Now, which ones your favourite?”

"Ummmmm," Lucy watched them swim for a moment. "That one! Right dere!" She pointed to a particularly deep gold rather than orange colored fish. "Das Goldie!"

“Goldie…” you chuckled, “you not going to let daddy name them?”

“He can name the uvvers.” Lucy beamed up at you, a smile much like her father's with eyes that were entirely his.

"Good Idea. Now, what do you think about laying down with me for a bit and then we can order pizza and snuggle all night. Tomorrow, just after lunch Daddy will be home."

"Is Auntie Jo coming wiff hims?" Lucy wondered.

"No, baby, she's not. Not this time." You smiled, "So whatdya say; snuggles, pizza and more snuggles?"

“Yay!” She nodded, “and Gwant too.”

“Of course! Can't forget about Grant!"

Lucy did indeed snuggle and take a little cat nap with you until Andy called, waking you both up.

“Hey…” you blinked at the screen.

“I’m sorry, Angel.” He sighed, apologetically, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay,” you shook your head, “I should probably be getting little miss ready for bed anyway.”

"You feeling alright?" Andy wondered.

"Just making a baby, nothing unusual," you chuckled.

“Nah, the making is the fun part,” Andy winked, “You’re doing the hard work baking him now.”

You grinned, "how did it go today?”

“It was okay, my presentation in the morning went without a hitch.” He smiled, “some of the debate this afternoon got a little heated but, wouldn’t expect anything else from a room full of judges and lawyers. The big dinner tonight should make up for it.”

"Ah yes, the dinner," you sighed, remembering the very first one you'd attended with Andy. "Bland chicken and cold vegetables. Enjoy the open bar, it'll be worth it."

Andy laughed, “lamb tonight, Angel, they asked for our orders in advance. And I intend to, although not too much. Don’t fancy flying home with a hangover.”

“Is that daddy?” A yawning voice from the little person tucked into your side spoke.

"It sure is, Bunny."

She shifted a little and sat up, and you smoothed her hair back as she took the phone from you.

“Hi daddy rex!”

"Well, hi Looby-saurus!" Andy chuckled, "how's my little bunny? Are you taking care of Mommy?"

“Yups,” She grinned. “We had Pizza and watched Toy Story!”

"Well, I can't believe I missed it!"

“Yous can watch at weekends” she grinned.

“Sounds great?” Andy smiled, “what else did you do?”

“Wells today we goes and…” Lucy stopped, and then blinked. “Oops, I cants say.”

"Oh, you can't, huh?" A smirk crossed his lips. He flicked his brow in curiosity.

"Nopes, it's a supwise! I cants!"

“You got me a surprise?”

"Don't give in to him, Lucy!" You laughed. "Andy..." you slowly scolded.

“What?” He laughed.

“Dass naughty, Daddy!”

"Alright! I'll be excited to see it! One more sleep, Looby, just one!"

“Does you gots to work tomorrow when yous home?”

“Nope.” Andy shook his head, “it’s an early start to the weekend, baby.”

"Pancakes?"

“Well, I won’t be home until after lunch but…Saturday morning absolutely.”

“Wiff berries and whippeds cream?"

“Of course, is there any other way?”

"Otay! I miss you Daddy."

“I miss you too, Bunny, but one more sleep. That’s all.”

"Otay, Daddy! I gots to go potty!"

“Alright…I love you.”

"Bye daddy!" Lucy tossed the phone to you and then scrambled over your legs and off the sofa.

Can you manage?” You called after her.

"I gots it!"

You chuckled as you picked up the phone. “Little Miss Independent.”

"Huh, yeah, like someone else I know," Andy's eyes sent a playful glare your way. "I miss you, Angel. I know It's only been a couple of days, but I miss you both a lot."

“I miss you too, but not long now.” You smiled softly.

"No, I suppose not," he smiled back. But whilst you knew his smile was genuine, there was that look in his eyes. The look you recognised all too well, and the one that was clearly now why Lucy was feeling the way she was about her daddy; that he was sad.

“Andy…”

"Yeah, baby?"

“It’s okay, you know. To feel how you’re feeling about this…about him. I get it.”

Andy sighed, "I know. But...Angel, this... This is on me. It's not about our son, it's not about us. I'm just...it’s a lot to wrap around right now. It's been a heavy week." His shoulders slumped and he inhaled a shaky breath. "Maybe that's why this seminar hasn't been the greatest. My heads not here, my heart isn't either."

“Oh, Andy.” You swallowed, “I can’t imagine how you feel but I just want you to know I’m not mad or upset…I just, well I get it, okay. And however long you need…that’s okay too.”

"Thank you, I'm sorry."

“Are you happy about the baby?”

“What? Of course I am!”

“And are you gonna love him any less because he is a boy?”

“No, Angel, that’s…”

“Then there’s nothing to be sorry for.” You shook your head.

Andy took in a deep, rattling breath. His eyes were misting, and you could see it over the video call.

“I mean it,” you looked at him.

Andy nodded, the words stuck in his throat. He sniffed and cleared the lump away. "I love you."

“I love you too. So much, Andrew Steven Barber.”

He nodded as his lip wobbled, "I'm gonna see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams, Angel."

“Yeah, you will. Enjoy the dinner, okay? “

“Okay, honey.”

You bid him goodbye and then took a deep breath before you hauled yourself up off the sofa and headed off to find Lucy.

****

It was just before one the next afternoon when Lucy excitedly yelled as she heard Andy’s car pull up the gravel driveway in front of your home.

“Mommy! It's Daddy-Rex!! He's home!"

“I heard,” you chuckled over Grant’s barking.

He came through the front door and dropped his bags at once, scooping up a charging Lucy.

“Hi, Bunny!” He grinned as he hugged her tightly.

Her little arms strangled around his neck as she buried her little face into his bearded cheek. "I missed yous!"

“I missed you too. Have you looked after mommy and your brother for me?”

Lucy pulled back and smooshed his cheeks together, "Yups! And I fed Gwant! He no eats your tings dis time."

“Well, good job!” Andy grinned as he puckered his lips for a kiss off his daughter. She laid one on him and with a final squeeze, let her down. He used his lower thigh to move Grant out of the way and looped an arm around you as you waited close by. He cupped the side of your face with his free and hand kissed you. Kissed you good; tenderly and slowly.

“Hi…” you whispered, your nose brushing his.

"Hi, baby," he whispered back. His lips pecked yours as he pulled back a little to rest his hand on your bump. "Hi, pal."

“How was your flight?” You asked, your hand laying over the top of his.

"Not quick enough," he sighed. "Let me take these bags up and put my briefcase in the office and I'm all yours. Jo gave me some stuff to bring home for Lucy."

“Why am I not surprised?” You chuckled, “she’s spoilt.”

"Hey, she's her godmother and Lucy is the closest thing they have to children.” Andy smirked. "Let me just go put this in the office first," he winked and picked up his shoulder bag.

"No Daddy! You cants go in there!" Lucy exclaimed.

“Why not?”

"Ums..." she looked at you for help.

“Because we made a mess in there, and we need to tidy up.” You said slowly, holding his gaze.

“Ohhh,” Andy nodded, winking at you. “I see.”

"So you goes to your room, Daddy!" Lucy grinned, "gets cozy and comes back!" She shrugged with her hands out to the sides like it was the perfect idea.

Andy bit his lip, stopping himself from laughing and he nodded. “That’s the best idea, ever.”

"Otay, bye!"

Andy kissed you again and grabbed his suitcase and headed upstairs. Grant, as ever the obnoxious dog he was to his owner, trotted up after him.

“Hello, you furry ass hole.” Andy chuckled as he hopped up onto the bed, tail wagging. He gave Grant an affectionate scratch behind the ear before he emptied his case out quickly. Once his dirty laundry was in the basket, he changed from his jeans and polo to some sweats and a tee.

“C’mon, pal. Let’s go see what your best buddy has planned, huh?”

Grant huffed as if in reply and followed Andy out of the room. Behind his back he held a little gift bag from Jo and her wife. Quickly thudding down the stairs, Andy found you and a very excited Lucy waiting for him ever so wiggly patient by the television and fireplace.

"Cwose yous eyes, Daddy!"

“Okay, but don’t you want your present from auntie JoJo first?”

Lucy's eyes grew wise, "yes, pwease!" She jumped up and down.

With a smile, Andy handed it over.

She sat right down in the spot where she'd stood and pulled the tissue from the top.

“Ooooh looks!” She pulled a new set of colouring pencils out, followed by a sketch book. “I lobes them!”

"Auntie knows you love your art sets, doesn't she, Looby?" You smiled at her, your hand resting on your belly.

Andy smiled warmly and pulled his phone from the coffee table. "Look here, Looby Loo!" He snapped a picture to send off later.

"Okay, do you think Daddy's ready, Lucy?" You peered down at her as she put her things on the coffee table.

“Yups!” She nodded, a huge grin on her face.

"Alright," you smiled. "Close your eyes, BB. Looby, take his hand and go show him. I'm right behind you."

“Dis way, Daddy. For your surprise!”

"Don't run me into anything!"

"No peeking, Daddy!"

“I’m not…”

Lucy took him to his office and made sure he stood right in front of the tank. You held your phone out for pictures and video that you knew Andy would want to see later.

“Okay daddy, when I counts free!”

Andy chuckled, "Okay!"

"One...two..free!"

Andy opened his eyes and blinked. He frowned a little, before his mouth curled up at one side.

“Goldfish?”

"Yup!" She grinned. "Wike the aquardium!"

“They are, yeah.” He chuckled, “and is that a t-rex?”

"Yes! Mommy wet me gets it!" Lucy giggled and hugged his leg. "Are yous happy now, Daddy?"

At that Andy looked away from the fish and down at Lucy. “What do you mean, Bunny?”

"You sads cause of Jay-cob, so I makes you happy!"

“I…” Andy blinked, before he hung his head a little, swallowing.

Your hand fell to the middle of his back, "It's okay." You whispered to him. Then with a little louder voice you peered around Andy's broad back, "He loves it Lucy."

Andy gently dropped to his knees and pulled his daughter into his arms and just held her. "I'm so happy about my fish, baby."

“Daddy, you cries?”

"I'm okay, Lucy, I promise." He sniffed.

“Daddy’s just really happy. Sometimes those feelings get a lot.” You explained.

"Oh," she sighed. "No cries, okay Daddy? I loves you, and dems fishies loves you. Mommy, my baby, my Jay-cob. We alls loves you, Daddy-Rex."

Andy spluttered and pulled Lucy to him, burying his face in her hair. “I love you too, my baby girl. So, so much.”

"Tooooo much!"

Andy pulled back. “Lucy, I wanna tell you something now. And I hope you understand. But, sometimes when I miss Jacob, I do feel sad, but that doesn’t ever mean I don’t love you or I’m sad because of you. You and mommy and now your new baby brother make me so, so happy.”

Lucy took a minute to try and, but she looked confused. Your heart ached for your husband, hearing him say it just chipped away a little at it. The confusion on Lucy's face made you smile softly. "That means that Daddy loves you no matter what and always, okay, Lucy?"

“I knows dat!” She looked at you and then Andy as if you were both stupid.

"Okay, Bunny, just so you know," Andy sniffed. "Now, do they have names?"

“Erms…one does.” She grinned as Andy stood up with her in his arms. “Dat one is Goldie.”

"Oh, Goldie, huh? Original.” His sarcasm was lost on Lucy as she grinned. Andy chuckled. “Okay, and the rest?"

"Das it."

“So, we have to pick names for the other three?” Andy studied the remaining fish, one being white with an orange stripe down its back, the other black with googly eyes and the other a mix of black, orange and gold flecks.

"Yup!"

“Okay…well this one is kinda speckled, so what about Speckles?”

“Now who’s original?” You whispered and he snorted.

"I wike dat," Lucy smiled. "And dat one is...." she thought for a moment, pointing at the black one. "Dat one is Wex!"

“Rex, okay…that’s cool so that just leaves that one with the stripe.”

“Erms oh, oh…Iddle Foot!”

"Oh, good eye, baby! He has a stripe like Little Foot, huh?" Andy kissed her temple. "Thank you so much for my surprise, both of you." He reached for you and looped his arm around your waist, then he kissed your temple. "I love you all so much."

“He wikes them mommy!”

"He sure does, baby," you nodded and leaned into Andy. "He sure does.”

#consciousness of guilt #andy barber #andy barber fanfic #andy barber x reader #andy barber fanfiction #Andy barber x you #reader insert #Chris Evans character #Defending Jacob #defending jacob fanfiction #defending Jacob fan fic

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