#Compassionate inquiry

[markllockwood]

The Healing POWER of LOVE

In order for us to actually find love, a part of us must die. A part of us needs to die because it's not love; usually instead, it's something based in fear, says Mark L Lockwood who designed his 10 step healing course with the very first step being centr

An Introduction to Love vs Personality The modern world of psychiatry widely acknowledges the importance of self-love for healing the disordered persona, especially in the aftermath of a global mental health crisis. This concept is supported by abundant research in psychology, coaching, religion, spirituality, and medicine. It seems that understanding the true essence of love might have eluded���

[save-mohamed-family]

My campaign is verified and added to the Gaza Donations page with number 192.

Thank you for documenting my campaign from the following accounts:

@sar-soor @heba-20 @el-shab-hussein @90-ghost @soon-palestine@ibtisams @marnota @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @i-am-aprl @northgazaupdates @fallahifag @fairuzfan

I love you all 🙏🙏♥️🌹

I am Mohammed Almanasra, 32 years old, married, and a father of three children: Abdulrahman, 6 years old, Sarah, 4 years old, and Lina, 3 years old.

My story began with the loss of my parents and four of my sisters, who were bombed and lost their lives along with their children after the events of October 7 and the severe war on Gaza. Now, I am facing a severe injury to my leg, which is at risk of amputation if I do not receive the necessary treatment. My wife, children, and I are displaced, without parents or siblings, and my wife is also suffering from uterine cancer.

Recently, I moved to the south of the Gaza Strip, fearing for the lives of my children. We left behind our memories and our new home, for which we had not finished paying the installments, in addition to losing my job. Currently, I live in a tent that does not protect me from the heat of summer or the cold of winter, and without the minimum necessary livinng basics including water, food medical care, clothe and even bedding .

I suffer from a chronic asthma and severe attacks from tightness and an extreme allergy in the ear and I need medicine that are not available, or very expensive .

Under these difficult circumstances, after five attempts at displacement and narrowly escaping death from the bombing, I am trying with all my might to protect my family, the most precious thing I have.

My dreams were shattered, and my house was destroyed, and I found myself living in a tent no larger than 4 square metres. My work turned from a tailor to a street vendor in order to barely buy a few crumbs of bread to feed my children.

Look at what happened to my children because of the intense heat and the insects that thrive in the summer season. Every day, I take them to the hospital to treat them due to poisonous insect bites. I implore every kind-hearted soul to help me protect my children.

My son, Abdul Rahman, has a deep passion for playing football and is a devoted fan of Real Madrid. He always dreamed of playing football at his school, but the war prevented this dream from coming true.

Where are you, Real Madrid fans ?

Help Abdul Rahman achieve his dream.

Every donation will make an enormous difference in helping me save my family.

I feel very sad and embarrassed to ask for help, but I have no other options left. I know that this request is difficult, but I also know that there is still humanity and living consciences and I believe in miracles.

Your support during this extremely difficult time will give us hope in the midst of devastation and despair.

If you have any inquiries or questions, feel free to ask me, please!

To everyone with a compassionate heart,

To all who understand the essence of humanity,

This is a message from my innocent children, who trust that their words will reach everyone who truly understands the meaning of childhood.

We cry out to you, asking you to feel our sorrow and pain, and to extend a helping hand to us in this time when we are in desperate need of your mercy and compassion.

My name is being repeatedly added to many public and private donation campaigns. Please, be a support for me in this difficult situation.

Sincere greetings & thanks

Mohammed & the family

[dekariosclan]

Note, this is an Anon ask that I reformatted to allow for the 18+ cut!

———

Anonymous asked:

uhhh heads up this is a Spicy question but do you think gale would enjoy

18+ under the cut

having his nipples licked hehehe

Here we have another 10/10 inquiry from an Anon! Not only because of the fabulous ‘hehehe’ addition (which I appreciated 😂), but also, you’ve unlocked a special answer with this ask, because I’m gonna do something I usually never do: offer a sexy HC for GodGale. 😳

(In addition to HCs for our perfect & preferred pixel husband, Professor Gale, of course!)

So let’s start with our human hubby. Would he enjoy having his nipples licked?

I can’t imagine a world where the answer would be ‘no’.

We all know this man appreciates elevated sensuality and the pleasures that can be experienced via bodily exploration/the art of the body. But he also appreciates the most basic, raw, purely physical aspects of sex, such as Tav’s musk and Tav’s ‘glistening muscles’.

So to have Tav’s tongue on HIS body, and Tav’s teeth gently biting on HIS skin, and to know how turned on Tav is by HIM, all while they drive him mad with erotic nipple play, would result in…well…to quote Gale himself: ‘sensations beyond reckoning’.

And I imagine Tav would use this to their advantage:

Gale’s going off on a tangent? A few soft, trailing kisses down his chest, ending with his nipple in Tav’s mouth, and suddenly he’s gone silent—except for those low, appreciative moans.

Gale’s been caught up in his research and Tav thinks it’s time he took a break? The quill drops from Gale’s fingers and all knowledge is forgotten the instant Tav’s velvet tongue begins tracing his areola, and suddenly he’s VERY aware of how Tav feels in his lap, the way their ass presses so pleasantly against his groin…

Gale’s changing into his teaching robes to head to Blackstaff Academy and Tav is in the room with him? Gale doesn’t know whether to curse or praise the Academy’s tailor for making the front of his robe so, ah…easily accessible. He doesn’t know what to think at all, actually, because the feeling of Tav’s tongue has him ready to teleport them both to the bed, Academy start time be damned.

…so yes, Anon! I rather think he would enjoy it 😂

Also, my Tav wants to remind you all that as always, the best place to go for any romantic fun with Gale is, of course, the Stormshore Tabernacle! Pay no heed to that random statue in the background 😇

——-

Now—I want to speak briefly about my HC for this question in regards to GodGale. And I don’t often delve into GodGale HCs because, as with most Galemancers, I infinitely prefer human Gale.

I spoke in a previous post about how Gale’s canon stats are high intelligence and low wisdom, and how I believe that to be deliberate and accurate. Because while I love that Gale was intelligent enough to succeed at what he set out to do with the Crown, he still wasn’t wise enough to see that in the long run, the consequences of becoming a God would result in him losing his connection to humanity, losing his best friend Tara, and losing his compassionate heart.

…but at the same time, even though his God form is essentially the Faerunian equivalent of a spray-tanned CryptoBro™️…

…I still love him.

DAMMIT.

Because he’s still Gale, buried inside. Because it’s confirmed he still loves Tav. And because my Tav and I could never leave him to be alone for eternity after his fondest wish was always just to end up with his beloved, in his Tower.

SO! GodGale gets one (1) HC for this ask, too. And do you know why it’s for this ask in particular?

Because the first time I saw him in-game, wearing that ridiculously resplendent God garb with his nipple out and on FULL DISPLAY for everyone, I remembered how our precious sweet human Gale used to ask Tara to leave the room before so much as changing his shirt. And I immediately thought: ‘What would happen if Tav decided to take his nipple into their mouth, hmmm? Would he still act Godly then?’

And my personal HC is that it would bring him to his knees.

Because I think the pleasure human Gale would have derived from such an act is amped up 100x in GodGale. And I think in return, he would be on his knees and worshipping Tav’s body the way he wants his followers to worship his ambition. Because I think Tav being his equal in all things—as a fellow God, as his bonded partner, as his lover—is what he desires just as much as his newfound power.

[thesirencult]

Pick A Card : Soul Connection

An intuitive reading about a soul meant to find yours. In epic tales there is a literally mechanism called "recognition". The hero and his counterpart recognize eachother even after years of estrangement. Like Penelope and Odysseus. A love so deep not even multiple lifetimes can erase. A soul kindred to yours you would recognize in a sea of people.

"I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world."

disclaimer : a tarot reading should never be used in place of professional counselling. Your reading cannot offer legal, medical, business, or financial advice nor does any portion of your reading herein purport to. You should not rely on a tarot reading to make any decision that would affect your legal, financial, or medical condition. If your inquiry involves the law, finance, or medicine, then you should seek the advice of a licensed or qualified legal, financial, or medical professional. Also, tarot reading cannot replace qualified mental health care. A tarot reading can only facilitate how you cope spiritually with a given situation.

PILE 1

The soul meant to find yours is a gentle one. Themes that come up here remind me of couples like Queen Victoria and Albert. I t will be love at first sight. Whatever your genders are, the "supposed" feminine will be the dominant one.

Your person will take the backseat as you run things. You may come from a wealthier background or simply seem "high value". Lady and the trump vibes.

This person will fight for those who didn't get the same opportunities to grow. They cheer for the underdog. This person will love your firey nature and how "bossy" you are. One thing you have to be careful with in this relationship is to keep things balanced as sometimes they might feel like you do not respect them or you don't spend enough time with them.

They could be an INFJ. Sympathetic, compassionate and protective. Practical and detail oriented, this is the safe place you need to come back to after your long trips towards the stars.

PILE 2

The love of your life will be able to see you. The real you. They won't overlook the greyness in your face. "You're Losing Me" by Taylor Swift is a song that can talk about your past.

No one stopped hurting you even though they knew they wouldn't be able to bring you back. They didn't care.

This person is everything that you deserve. They will help you heal. No sad songs with this one. Your happily ever after. This person is a soldier. They would die for love.

Your people pleasing tendencies won't go unnoticed with this one. They care about YOU, not what you can do about THEM.

Give them a chance when they come around. Sweet energy. Safe. Boy-Girl-They next door energy. A sweetheart with a great smile and a kind glint in their eyes. My heart feels warm writing about them. Hallmark movies ain't got nothing on them. Their love is simple and "perfect". No questions and worries. Your safe place.

Your energy reminds me of those wedding photos you see on Instagram of couples in small American towns posing with their golden retriever and smiling at each other. Don't let your past wounds f*ck this up. Sincerely, from one people pleaser to another. If you picked this pile we would have been besties in real life. Lots of love and hugs your way.

P.S. They will always choose you. You are not the first, but the ONLY choice.

PILE 3

Your whole life you have felt alone and isolated. Like life is a party you have not been invited. I wouldn't say you are a "pick me", you are far from that. You just feel like there is no one there for you to keep your hands warm. You have always longed for someone that will look behind the mirror and realize there is someone is behind it. You struggle with finding your inner voice.

The catch here is that you have the ability to choose anyone behind the mirror. You have the ability to show who you truly are. Be wild and crazy. Unstoppable. You didn't come here to do pretty and quiet. You are here to awake others and break the glass.

The person meant for you, your other half is very different from you. They are way more hedonistic and may find solace is the material realm. They will do everything to make you feel wanted and beautiful. This person will see you for who you truly are and they won't feel intimidated. Your "black cat energy" won't drive them away. They have some skeletons in the closet themselves. Disturbing and compelling, this one would make a great "50 Shades Of Grey" type of movie. lol. They could listen a lot to the Weeknd or they used to live a very "rough" lifestyle in the past. Love at first sight. Intense. You slap them and they will kiss you. They will buffle you. "Why doe sthis mfer stick around somehow?".

In all honesty, in this lifetime, your other half will be overbearing. They won't back down until they take you down with them. Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem come to mind in Jamon Jamon. This person may also come from money or have a lot of money and they want you to be their dark princess/prince. It will feel like taking a panther or feral cat and trying to domesticate it. Good try. You are still dangerous though, but they don't mind a few scratches.

[sideysvault]

𓍼ོ Ad Astra Per Aspera 𓍼ོ (PT. 4)

Inglorious Shame

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader

wc: 1090k

Tags: [sfw] Arranged marriage, slow burn, angst, mentions of dead, mature themes, mentions of sexual assault, enemies to lovers, hurt, comfort.

full series masterlist. read part five.

────────

The Princess entered the marital room —partially worried about him, and in part with a desire to confront him— but she was taken aback by the lack of a familiar eye patch on her husband’s face. 

His left eye, which was man crafted, was as blue as the real one. She did not know the name of the stone that filled his empty socket, but it was beautiful, and it reflected a much brighter light than the one available in the chamber. When he saw her lingering on the door, he shifted on his seat slightly, embarrassed upon her transfixed gaze. An argument could be made that the Princess was as equally astonished; For the first time since she had known him, he looked truly disheveled. Even his straight moon hair rebelled, forming unknown patterns that matched the lines between his eyebrows.

Prince Aemond  must have been able to read it on his wife’s face immediately, because he quickly stated “Heleana told you” his voice sounded remote and strange as he said it.

She made a dissipative gesture with her hands and shrugged her shoulders with a guilty look. Of course Helaena had told her. 

Getting closer to him, sighing and remembering the oath she had made to herself of making an active effort to be conciliatory and compassionate, she tried to help smooth the situation.

“You must ignore Aegon, He has done everything so many times in life, that he has drifted too far between the jaws of cruelness”.

A semblance of a laughter emerged from her husband, but he was either too angry or too embarrassed to find any sort of amusement in the ordeal. 

“Are you disappointed?” There was that question again. But unlike the first time, the accusatory tone could not mask the sincerity of it. The Princess thought about it for a moment. She had felt mortified and embarrassed of his husband seeking in a brothel what he had rejected from his own wife, but upon hearing the details of the mockery of the King, she was not really sure that the encounter between the whore and her husband had been completely sexual in nature. Aemond was a strange man. So, she told him what she had rehearsed if he ever asked her feelings on the matter; The truth.  “Not entirely. You were not hurting anyone, unlike he often does. That brings me some peace of mind”.

The Gods are sometimes merciful, and apparently so could be his wife. Aemond felt a reassurance that if he had not received it, he may have never known he needed it.  

“I still defiled the honor of our marriage. It was improper of my character, and completely at odds with your values, for that matter”. 

She uttered an affirmative sound. He was right. He had committed a sin, and no matter the feelings she lacked towards him, it had still hurt her. And after thinking about it for a moment, mustering the courage she needed to ask what had been plaguing her mind “Is that-, Is that the reason you refused to consummate?”

She regretted asking him that intrusive question as soon as the words finished leaving her mind. Aemond looked uncomfortable again, and she was sure that the inquiry had brought them two steps back. “She-, when I was-” struggling for a minute to find the proper words, possibly debating whether sharing that information with her was the right move, he finally continued

“Well, when I was a child. Aegon took me”.

The cavities on his wife’s heart contrived in the most uncomfortable of sensations. Such occurrences were not foreign her, and having experienced them in the tenderness of girlhood, she could not deny that it had taken a toll on her psyche as well. As much as she tried not to, the Princess instinctively imagined Aemond as a child, with his face wounded, his brother on a path to destruction, Helena feeling as lonely as ever, and his mother, heartbroken still for the loss of her childhood friend. Upon the mess of this hurricane, he had also been hurt. 

She sat near the edge of the bed, as close to him as she could. The fabric that covered their thighs were brushing against one another, emanating the soft warmth of skin. The Princess rested her head on his shoulder while he took her hand. She tried to avoid eye contact with him, because flashes of her own violation of innocence were poisoning the back of her eyes, and Aemond wanted to avoid eye contact as well, clearly embarrassed and dealing with shadows of his own. 

So, she softly said to the skin on his shoulder the only thing she could think of, “I am sorry. I truly am”, tying the comment down to his flesh with a small kiss on the cusp of his blade. 

When he finally turned to face his wife, he saw her teary eyes. That was all it took for him to understand that it went beyond the compassion she felt for him, but a remembrance of a similar curse of her own. He nodded to her in an understanding that only shared experiences could create. But just as he was about to say something else, she stood up from the bed and nervously uttered with tears now running through her cheeks, “Let us have a cup of wine and wake up no sooner than noon.” This time, however, no strength was needed to laugh at her attempts to lighten the mood. His wife walked towards the counter, now facing away from Aemond as she continued, “You must rest. We will deal with whatever is to come later, with the clarity of the morning. But you have nothing to be ashamed of, husband. I hope that much is clear”. 

The Prince smiled. While the tender moment was over, her stern and bossy disposition was back, and that was enough for him tonight. In a sense, he felt grateful for Heleana’s indiscretions.

Aemond got up to prepare the cups as she turned off most of the candles in the chamber. The Princess grabbed some lavender she had stolen from the garden earlier that week and burned it slightly before putting it off, bringing the sweet smell of the smoke near the bed, making sure of doing everything in her hands to provide him with some peace. He deserved it, after all that had happened.

From that day forward, Prince Aemond knew no end to his enjoyment of lavender scent. 

────────

Notes: Work is swallowing me whole but all i can think about are these two idiots.

This is dedicated to @aemondslove whose religious re-blogs are the sole reason why this series has gained any traction in the vast sea of Tumblr. Thank you for reading! I wanted to dedicate you a good chapter, but i guess i can always tag you twice :'p.

(i know 100 may not seem like a lot to some people, but this is my first series and im so thankful for any interaction!)

[clairdelunelove]

actually shaking at the thought of how considerate boyfriend!yuuji is once you’re dating

hasn’t been in the ‘dating field’ before so this is all new territory to him and he tries so hard to be vigilant about everything you do. every anxious mannerism you have. the tone of your voice when you’re frustrated. it’s all carefully commemorated in his mind. filed away for a day when he needs it. mental notes that’ll help him guide you through any tough times you might have. he wishes to be the best for you– the best partner a person could possibly have because you deserve it. so he’ll fight and compromise for you. even rearranges his schedule just to get a glimpse of your face in the dim moonlight. an honor that you bestow upon him. that is, until he notices the furrow of your brows and how the ends of your lips are curved downwards. now this is unfamiliar to him. he ventures to step closer to you and his gaze flickers when you unconsciously twist away. but if yuuji is known for anything– then it’s for how adamantly he cares for you. 

“hey,” his voice is low and tender, “you doin’ alright?” 

and he’s so selfless. compassionate to a point where it’s noble. his calloused hand caresses your shoulder and the touch automatically soothes you. it always does. that’s the effect that yuuji had on you and a shaky exhale passes through you. his voice was, without fail, softer whenever he spoke to you. the tone of it undertook a maturity that he typically saved for more serious matters. 

“yeah,” you instinctively respond with a shaky smile, “I’m fine.” 

the reply is a reflex that you haven’t fought to break and it shows. it gives rise to genuine worry that bleeds into his stare when your boyfriend looks at you. and goodness does he watch you closely. his honeyed eyes bounce along every inch of your face and body, checking for any physical signs that might cause you harm. upon concluding that you weren’t hurt, he gingerly takes your hands into his own and gently squeezes.

“you sure? you don’t sound fine to me.”

his sharp features catch the faintest glint of exhaustion behind your eyes and he recognizes that it’ll take a bit more prying to coax you to talk. no worries– yuuji’s a man of patience. he’d wait decades for you. in fact, he’d drop to his knees and plead if it’d aid him in finding a solution to your problems. and you’re aware that he would because his concern for your wellbeing is so apparent. he’d shout it from the rooftops until his voice eventually gave out and that conception only warms your heart. in truth, you just missed him– his presence, affection, and yearning.

“you’re so good to me, yuu,” you softly admit, staring up at him. 

there are hearts in your eyes. glimmering and floating in a manner that knocks the wind out of his chest. little does he know that his obvious worry quells the ache of overthinking within you. he tilts his head, blushy hair bobbing at the action, and uses his thumb to draw circles on the back of your hands. sweet gestures that match him in this trying time. you can’t stifle the smile that overtakes your face and his heart is so full of you that he can hardly call it his own.

his stare is adoring as he murmurs, “oh yeah?” 

the inquiry borders a tease and he raises a brow at you. your eyes flicker to the width of his shoulders, broad and consuming. such a tempting sight that has your mind wandering. and yuuji’s seen that starry gleam in your gaze before. almost forces a chuckle out of him due to how troubled he was about the situation. but you just missed him. perhaps his busy schedule has kept him away from you for too long. such a needy thing. and if he did have a fault it would be how insatiable he is about you. 

he moves to grab you by the chin, his touch sensitive yet firm. honeyed eyes narrowing at how yours widens in longing. then, yuuji tilts your face up to his. his next words are a deep rumble that spreads enough warmth to start a wildfire within you and you’re gravitating towards him. pulled in by his temptations. 

leaning to press a sticky kiss on your jaw, he encourages, “then won't you talk to me, pretty girl? please?” 

[melliae]

Hong Lu, An Analysis-Prediction

Before beginning, as always, I've to clarify something: I haven't read Dream of the Red Chamber. My best source of information are the thematic connections drawn in the Reddit sub of Limbus, and that only gives me a slight idea of what Project Moon may have in mind.

So, everything below here is complete and utter speculation based on my own knowledge and impressions about Hong Lu's character, Sins, EGOS, and Abnormalities. Beware, and feel free to comment your own opinions!

Now, let's go with the post!

What We Know

So, I think the best way to start this analysis is by recapitulating Hong Lu’s overall character so far. For that, we need to return to the first ever explanation of his personality: the “resume” given in the game page and during his presentation in Selva Oscura.

“As such, he has a certain admiration for a free life; but occasionally, he may make ignorant and unsavory questions in regards to the food cooked by a certain other Sinner or other aspects of the low-lives' lowly culture. [,,,] However, it is important to note that no sarcastic undertones are contained in his curiosity-driven inquiries, so it is ill-advised to let them get physical over it.”

As a general thing… It surprisingly holds up! Don’t misunderstand me, though. It isn’t that the description is perfect; it’s just not untrue. In fact, his first even line in the game, about Dante’s head being some sort of trend and not waiting for an answer, totally falls there. Similarly, there are several other moments showing Hong Lu’s innocence and naivety without any ulterior or hidden motive, from wondering if the casino workers of Canto II were trying to make the Peccatula their pets (likely because his grandmother collects weird animals) to unintentionally insulting Outis’ watch in Canto VI. I’d say the biggest proof of his lack of experience is the moment in Canto V where he adjusted the LCCB badge of a pirate that very obviously wasn’t a member of Limbus. Though all of his weirdness may derive from the fact that his elders—which are weird as hell—are his point of reference.

Now, since his most notable trait has been explained, we can move into the discrepancies of the description, and the biggest one is mentioned at the end: that under Hong Lu's comments there is no sarcasm—which is a complete lie! This man is a menace, and the Sinner’s experiences in District 20 during To Claim Their Bones and Canto VI shows it, from agreeing with Caiman’s assessment of LCB to joining Nelly’s teasing, including his lines while helping Heathcliff with his appearance and clothes. But arguably, my favorite example of this is the horror story he told during Canto V that scared Sinclair and which he only finished when the latter ran away. Don't tell me Hong Lu was being innocently insensitive back there: Sinclair was visibly shitting bricks, and the pretty boy here is keen enough to masterfully play the most compassionate and kind member of the League of Nine.

“Brother Young-ji was a man of kindness. He was not one to rashly harbor spite or reproach for others. You resemble him in that sense.” - Yi Sang, Blossoming League of Nine Littérateurs, Canto IV.

Though I suppose the difference between them is that Hong Lu clearly has a more optimistic and fun-loving attitude. This is an obvious trait that he has had since his childhood, when he played with and complained about his “cheating” siblings, sneaked into the dining hall of his manor for snacks, and simply didn’t follow his family’s rules. But since we know his family is extremely strict (if not outright sadistic), this sanguine streak may have developed (or gotten worse) as some sort of defense mechanism, which is seen better with Wakashu Hong Lu and his “lack of manners.” In fact, all of his Identities show an unnatural or improper calmness about his situation, no matter how horrible it is.

Another thing to highlight is his inquisitive, curious, and surprisingly understanding nature. While most of the examples above, especially him playing Young-ji, are proof of that, as it plays very well with his sheltered life. But I want to point out the best and most recent example of Hong Lu’s surprising contemplativeness: Time Killing Time. In particular, the most important scene is near the end, when Rodya and Hong Lu discuss his motivation to pursue the Time Reaper:

“I... just wanted to understand. Because, to me, the world was full of things I couldn't understand. In truth, I still understand so little of it. Why do people hang on so desperately to something like time? Something so... ephemeral?” - Hong Lu, Chapter 15: The Final Problem.

It’s normal to assume Hong Lu’s words are solely referring to the miserable monetary system of T Corp., but I don't think that’s all. We know that Hong Lu and Xinchun are well acquainted with the “immortality of the mind” the elders of their family are obsessed with, and what is immortality but infinite time? Thus, what Hong Lu asked there was why people hang on to the erroneous belief that life should not move or change, remaining constant and hence perfect for the rest of eternity. Yet, that isn’t what life truly is, right? It’s not for nothing that Hong Lu’s introductory quote is that “life has its vicissitudes as jade has its flaws,” which conveys his philosophy of detachment perfectly.

“When you’re distraught, simply remember that life goes on even if what you’re doing now doesn’t work out. Then, you’ll be free of worries.” - LCB Hong Lu

However, while the idea of detaching oneself from the whole without renouncing loving it is respectable, the way in which Hong Lu lives it is far from perfect, because detachment is not about carefreely admitting you will just simply gather the remains of your sister in case she is mutilated or readily accepting a horrible death just because you don’t mind dying. Even he himself admits from time to time, as with his jealousy over Heathcliff’s propensity to “ignore what he doesn’t like” (Rooms Past the Door) or Rim’s capacity to fly freely. In fact, one may even say that he hasn’t become detached at all, because doing so implies the complete acceptance of the “jade’s” beauty and flaws; Hong Lu, however…

“A thousand hours… Will a thousand hours have passed in the blink of an eye? [...] Then... I like that. Rip my time away.” - Hong Lu, Chapter 14: The Clock Tower of Fear, TimeKilling Time.

He has become detached from life altogether, and how could he not with the disaster that his family is? That likely was his only way to survive in such an environment, and unlike the rest of the Jia, he doesn’t seem to have that lucky predisposition for resentment and hatred. Even when his siblings tried to kill him the first time, Hong Lu didn’t come to hate them; he fully understood them because that’s the kind of person he is, just like Young-ji. However, since he realized such a thing through his big heart, he’s now fully aware that he will ultimately and cruelly die by their hands thanks to his love. In such a case, what other option does he have beyond merely “dancing”? A joke here, a sarcastic comment there, and a final appreciation for everyone so nothing is taken seriously and causes dissatisfaction, no matter how dim his eye becomes.

So, as of the 5th Walpurgisnacht, Hong Lu’s character can be summarized as follows:

Has a friendly, compassionate, and understanding personality that clashes against the violent and strict nature of his family.

Became detached over his own life because he can’t bring himself to hate and hurt his family.

His carefree attitude and sheltered life lead him to not understand some of the social conventions of… anyone who still has some respect for their own life.

Has a certain sarcastic and teasing streak, likely originating from both his personality and ideology.

There’s 1 aspect remaining that I didn’t mention above because I think it’s better to analyze Hong Lu’s EGOs first, to see what else we can rescue before giving a sort of “conclusion.”

About EGOs

Before any of you ask, no, I will not analyze Land of Illusion here; it’s best reserved for the next section, about Hong Lu Base ID. Instead, the first EGO I’ll deal with is, fittingly, the first one he ever received: Roseate Desire.

Roseate Desire originates from Pink Shoes, an Abnormality that evidently is an Aberration of Lobotomy Corp.’s Red Shoes, with their shared meaning being that of a single-minded and very violent obsession that’s impossible to resist—one of the purest expressions of Lust. But while Red Shoes and its EGO are fundamentally egoistic, not wanting to share the glory and pleasure of their desire’s fulfillment, Pink Shoes and Roseate Desire are of a softer shade, spreading their overwhelming lust to as many people as possible. The difference becomes clearer when you compare Rodya’s and Ishmael’s respective obsessions: the longing to be special vs. the desire to kill the “source of all evil” in retribution for all she has done.

Applying the former logic to Hong Lu, we can conclude first that he has a desire as strong as Ishmael’s hatred for Ahab, which is quite unexpected for someone who has basically given up on life! Thankfully, the Sin resources his version of Roseate Desire costs tell us a couple of things about his “fixation”: 4 Lust and 2 Envy. The dominance of Lust is self-explanatory, so that leaves us with Envy, which I commented on in the previous section: jealousy over those who can ignore and escape their problems—those who are “free.” Yet, since Roseate Desire and Pink Shoes are characterized by a sort of collective hedonism, so is Hong Lu’s wish to escape his family. Surely such a thing will bring joy to his cut-throat siblings.

And speaking about escapism, Hong Lu’s next two EGOs are all about that, beginning with the one whose Abnormality I analyzed in one of my previous posts: Dimension Shredder.

While Wayward Passenger is an Abnormality that is clearly about the trauma inflicted by W Corp.’s method of operation, it has a secondary meaning that Project Moon uses for its EGO too: being trapped in a horrible duty, necessity, or “path” that makes the individual envious of the life and possibilities others hold. This is best seen with Outis’ Dimension Shredder due to the Envy affinity, though Hong Lu’s Pride version isn’t that far off thanks to the Sin costs: 3 Pride and 3 Gluttony. Basically, it means that Hong Lu is “lost” due to external necessity, by things he can’t control (i.e., his family), but instead of resenting it as any other person would do, he takes pride in that, in having to follow a “terrible path,” because that’s the type of person he knows he is—the kind and understanding one that sacrifices himself.

The second EGO about escapism originates from LobCorp and hence from an Abnormality I haven’t analyzed: Soda and Opened Can of WellCheers, respectively. The two come from a Korean urban legend about people being drugged through juice cans and sold to fishing boats as slaves. Needless to say, the parallels with Hong Lu’s Soda are more than obvious: an envy born from a necessity (Gluttony) that grimly (Gloom) pushed him into a role he doesn’t want. Alternatively, and considering the ending of the Abnormality’s story log in LC, it’s the fulfillment of a fantasy born of jealousy, sadness, and necessity, though that doesn’t explain the Envy affinity of the EGO. Either way, nobody can deny that Soda stands for Hong Lu’s “murdered” wish to flee his circumstances.

The next EGO luckily is from another Abnormality I analyzed some time ago: Ambling Pearl and Effervescent Corrosion. However, unlike Rodya, who keeps the Abnormality’s original meaning mostly intact (safekeeping the “pearl”/one’s meaning from the “filthy” outside), Hong Lu gives it a twist: it’s not about protecting his “life treasure,” but something else

“Faust: For instance, let’s say that Hong Lu held a belief he was certain would be an unchanging constant as he lived in the City. Or, it could be a hope for some other psychological sustainment that has supported his life. Hong Lu: …Hmm. Faust: If that support suddenly collapses in a massively shocking event that causes one to let their “ego” go, his mind would crumble, so to speak. Hong Lu: …Well, I could see that happening. [...] Hong Lu: Hm… I thought I knew, but I can’t seem to elaborate on it with words right now.” - Chapter 3: Hell’s Chicken, Hell’s Chicken.

Unlike Rodya’s desire to be special and her notorious inner conflict, which is reflected in how similar her Corrosion is to a broken Ambling Pearl, Hong Lu is much more secretive about his opinions, usually referring to his frivolous comments instead of using the great insight he has, according to Dante. Nonetheless, even if we don’t exactly know the “core belief” he holds close to his heart (though we should have a general idea at this point), we do know that his version of Effervescent Corrosion, beyond Gluttony or the desire to survive, requires Gloom. So whatever Hong Lu is hiding, it’s far from happy, as his Sin weaknesses further show after EGO usage: weak to Lust and Sloth, to love and inaction—to the idea of not protecting himself.

In a similar vein, Hong Lu’s next EGO is entirely about sadness, as it comes from Blubbering Toad, aka depression incarnated. However, Cavernous Wailing isn’t a Gloom EGO but a Sloth one, and whose Sin costs are Gloom, Sloth, and Pride. That’s to say, Hong Lu’s refusal to take action and the resulting self-pity (“A heart shaken by sorrow bursts… like this.”) are fed by his sadness, indolence, and distorted self-perception, an aggrandized mental image of himself as able to carry all his pain without problem.

“It goes like this. Any of our siblings who managed to survive on their own up to the age of thirteen in our household will probably be a-okay even if they were to be tossed out to the middle of the Outskirts! Hehe…” - Hong Lu, Chapter 20, Canto VII.

Finally, the last EGO is the newly added Lasso, which comes from Rose Hunter, and really, its Mirror Dungeon Encounter puts it the best: Rose Hunter is the one who makes sure all stories follow their natural course, their flow, and “he” is no exception; the Hunter is willing to get lost if that’s the story it must obey. Fittingly, Lasso represents the same idea of not resisting one’s “tale” or “myth,” going along with what’s written not out of indolence or apathy, but because it’s necessary, akin to the motif of the “fetters of fate,” for example. In that regard, their underlying archetype is the same as that of the Orphic Ananke, the deification of the necessity that created the universe, which can be best understood through the following aphorism: existence came to be because it exists. Or put it in a simpler manner: you must follow your nature because that’s who you are.

Hong Lu’s Lasso, in the same way as Faust’s, requires first and foremost Gluttony to work, for that’s the entire deal of the Abnormality. Then comes the Lust requirement, which implies this “work” is also done out of either love or a twisted desire, a mania for things to follow their assigned nature or role. The final Sin cost is the variable one, which for Hong Lu is Pride again, his aggrandized sense of self that drives him to fulfill his role without complaining, solely out of love and necessity.

So, with all the EGOs analyzed, we can rescue the following:

Hong Lu, more than anything, wishes to escape the situation he has been put in. He wants to be free behind all those frivolous and/or insensitive commentaries.

However, due to his upbringing, he “murdered” those wishes so to speak, and remains walking the path his family has put him by many reasons, chief among them his love for them and his distorted perception of his own self.

Thus, all that longing and yearning for freedom remains hidden, barely able to see the light of the day except in the rarest of occasions. That’s likely his “pearl,” the thing that he ultimately hides for his own survival.

About His Base ID and EGO

You know, I have always been curious about why people are so adamant about Hong Lu being depressed. No doubt he has depression at some level, but I don’t think it’s as severe as people normally think it is because his Base ID simply lacks any form of Gloom. This is in stark contrast to Sinners such as Yi Sang, Gregor, and especially Ishmael, since she has a Gloom Base EGO as well. But if such is the case, then what does Land of Illusion means, since it requires Gloom to be used?

However, I think it’s important to understand Hong Lu’s Sin spread first, his psychology in this particular possibility:

His third skill, that is, his most inward and deep trait, is Lust. This Sin placement is only shared with LCB Heathcliff, whose devotion to Catherine is quite literally a multiversal constant as per Canto VI; everything he does, he does it for Cathy. Thus, Hong Lu must have a similarly romantic or affectionate nature, and we know that he isn’t the type to stop “loving” due to the cruelty of a person; his reaction towards the attempt against his life says enough. He even tried to understand the Time Ripper at some level during TimeKilling Time.

His second skill is Sloth, an inaction that’s much shallower but no less decisive, so to speak. One can understand it as deriving from his much more encompassing Lust or Love, which is to say that Hong Lu refuses to take action or initiative in his life out of love and understanding, in a similar manner to how LCB Faust lets her every move be commanded by the Gesellschaft thanks to her need for self-realization.

Finally, his third skill, his most outward and shallow trait, is Pride. This position is only shared with the Base IDs of Faust (again) and Sinclair, although the former is the easiest one to understand: Faust is somewhat haughty without a doubt, but not egocentric or self-absorbed by any metric; she’s just socially naive and with a great deal of knowledge that tends to ostracize her by her own volition. Pride is, after all, the de facto Sin of distorted self-perception, of thinking you are more capable than you really are.

Again, all of this tells us what we already know: the kindness of Hong Lu, his indolence born out of said kindness, and the weight he alone bears on his shoulders. We can’t even say that he has a low self-esteem unless we include in that definition a “imposing limits on who you are,” which, yes, sounds right, but it leans too much in the territory of semantics for my taste. Furthermore, Hong Lu’s strange relationship with Gloom and sadness can also be contrasted with the Sinners I mentioned before, those with Gloom and whose Cantos are available:

Yi Sang was the living stereotype of the depressed person: cold, distant, unfeeling, dead inside, etc. Whatever you name, Yi Sang likely had it.

Ishamel’s emptiness and self-destructivity were well-hidden until her Canto, during which all hell was let loose.

And Gregor is possibly one of the most realistic approaches of all, as we can see with the flashbacks of his past during Canto I. Even so, he… well, remains somewhat functional (and I’m really stretching the definition there xD)

And don’t get confused. In this case, Gloom isn’t equal to feeling sad or being traumatized by any means; every Sinner has their own share of problems, and not all have Gloom. Sinclair had his family and town massacred thanks to Kromer's obsession with him, for example, and while I don’t doubt he feels a deep sadness and regret about it, he doesn’t have Gloom in his Base ID. The same applies to Rodya, her low self-worth, and her guilt about the fate of her neighbors, lacking any sort of Gloom as well. The most extreme and recent case of this is boss Sancho, who doesn’t have any Gloom skill at all, despite her character and story being more than fitting.

Therefore, Gloom, in the straightest sense and avoiding exceptions or little quips, refers to a deep-seated hopelessness, a melancholy that devours all dreams and hopes, causing one to become completely lost in life. In such a case then, it’s not that Hong Lu isn’t sad or, damn, depressed, but that he knows how to manage such emotions so they don’t overwhelm him as they do with Gregor, Yi Sang, or Ishmael. The same likely happens with his wish to escape and his jealousy, for he seemingly knows that no life is truly a “flawless jade.”

“In a way, we’re all ‘deprived’... and that can change a lot of things. Maybe there are things that we can understand only when we’re left with nothing.” - Hong Lu, Chapter 1: Wuthering Heights, Canto VI.

This self-control naturally falls in line with his inclination for Pride and Lust, creating a sort of “transpersonal” point of view that allows him to curb his emotions in order to understand others. It’s quite Buddhist or Taoist, no? This kind of detachment over life I explained before, I mean. In a way, it strengthens the theory of Jia family elders treating Hong Lu as a golden child, and while he doesn’t seem to really like the idea, he resigned himself to it.

“I can't do much about what I was born with~ To them... I was a gem of a child.” - Hong Lu, Liu Association South Section 5 Uptie Story.

He renounced all the transient things in his life, all of his wishes and sadness, in order to carry out his family’s expectations: the preferred family head candidate. And what is another form to call transient things? Illusions.

Land of Illusion is the culmination of Hong Lu’s hidden sadness, his yearning to escape that will forever remain out of his reach—or at least he thinks so.

“With this there is often, to a smaller or greater extent, a savior complex, or a Messiah complex, with the secret thought that one day one will be able to save the world; the last word in philosophy, or religion, or politics, or art, or something else, will be found.” - Marie-Louise von Franz, The Problem of the Puer Aeternus.

Hong Lu doesn’t believe himself to be a savior, naturally. But I cannot deny that it would be very much in character for him to imagine or fantasize about a world where he doesn’t have to fulfill his family expectations, where they can all be happy. That would explain the Lust cost of Land of Illusions, as well as the weaknesses to Envy and Wrath, which are a stand-in for the rejection of his innermost wish.

But alas, at the end, life has its flaws, and there’s no way Hong Lu will raise a fist against his family. Even if his survival depends on it, Hong Lu won’t defend himself because that would mean choosing and thus losing, and there’s nothing more terrifying to the eternal child than losing things. Death is a much more merciful and tempting possibility than acting and suffering.

“The puer aeternus very often has this mature, detached attitude toward life, which is normal for old people but which he acquires prematurely—the idea that life is not everything, that the other side is valid too, that life is only part of the whole existence. [...] So before he has gone down to earth, he already has the offer of death.” - The Problem of the Puer Aeternus.

In this regard, it doesn’t matter much Dante’s rewind or the actual existence of an afterlife. It’s the idea of death as a solution for a hard life, instead of confronting the problem itself, of standing up and withstand the uncertainty and pain of life.

AAt the end of his Canto, Hong Lu will have to stand up for himself and to carry on the pain. That's how a "child" becomes an "adult," or better said, an actual family head.

Post-Commentary

... Yeah.

To be honest, I don't know where the inspiration behind came for this. It just fell on me one day, like Faust's theory. But where I'm confident in that one, I'm completely lost in this post, especially because while the conclusion seems right (standing up to the abuse and expectations coming from one's family), the reasoning is somewhat flimsy? I don't know. I have the feeling that I'm retreating Canto VII's (and even Canto III's) story and themes somehow, though the similarities may be the reason of why Xinchun was introduced, maybe. That would make Don's confusion funnier xD

The final mentions of the puer aeternus (similar to the Peter Pan syndrome, but not quite) are due to how Hong Lu's character screamed "puer" to me, surpassing every other one. The fact his summary highlighted that he is a "bachelor" brought to mind this little quote of Marie-Louise's books:

“The two typical disturbances of a man wh ohas an outstanding mother complex are, as Jung points out, homosexuality and Don Juanism.”

If a man gets around too frequently, he'll obviously not get married. If he's gay, then even less reason to do so or look at women. In this case, the idea is not about the actual sexual orientation of Hong Lu (or the accuracy of the book's assessment), and more about highlighting his refusal to commit.

Also, as a funny note, The Problem of the Puer Aeternus has a fragment that's really similar to, from what I've gathered, the warnings the monks gave to the Stone at the beginning. Since the book also deals with the case of Saint-Exupéry and The Little Prince, there may also be something interesting regarding Demian (Limbus', not Hesse's).

Anyway, and repeating myself, if you have any other opinion or thought you want to share, feel free to do so! Similarly, if you notice any orthographical or grammatical error, let me know. It's difficult to see them, even when using several online tools...

[whinlatter]

author's note | chapters 13 & 14: the moult & the vulture

now the dust has settled... thank you for reading chapters 13 and 14 of beasts! thank you also to the askbox angels who asked for the author’s note (it is still mad to me someone reads these). now, it's inquiry time, baby - and boy are the gloves coming off, and the secrets spilling out. the wait was long; so were the chapters. sorry, again, about that. so - kindly read on for discussion of some major themes and plot points, a little on song choices, and some juicy deets and a sneak peek of chapter 15... and 16…

✨ spoilers for this chapter below the cut  ✨

writing notes and headcanons

first - that cliffhanger (and some context): now up in a separate post. read it here!

second - a thank you! the reaction to these chapters has me in absolute bits. i'm a soppy sentimental shit at heart and this really did make me the happiest little girl in the world. so thank you forever and ever for that.

third - an acknowledgement, as ever, to @saintsenara, whom i bounce all the inane details off of, whose takes absolutely slap and who i hope will forgive me for making her boy rookwood such a flop.

divide and conquer/accidentally wrote two chapters again: what am i like! the trouble is - life-stuff aside - i was excited about these chapters (and the reveals), but also put far too much pressure on them to do a huge amount of heavy lifting, and to get the story to a place it wasn’t yet at and needed to get to quick. the writing challenge for these chapters was that i needed a series of plots to hit a rolling boil so we can get to the flashbacks to ginny’s war and all the reveals. and it took fucking ages to work how to structure and serve them as each needs at this point in the fic, and try to find a set of themes/devices to tie those plots together into something cohesive (especially because writing fic is much more like dropping tv show episodes in structure rather than actually sharing a novel, in part because you drop them one at a time at intervals, and i think the more successful ones can stand alone while also serving the overall body of work). i have - i confess - knitted, in my time, and you know when you have really thick wool and thick needles and you’re trying to slowly eek off one stitch onto the other needle and it actually really starts to hurt? it felt like that :) 

two inquiries, both alike in dignity: god, i love an inquiry. the truth being dragged out kicking and screaming by  the state, buffeted by political winds and a rapacious press? inject it. at last, the past is getting properly dredged up, and all sorts of buried secrets are getting unearthed in the process. so: in the present, the hogwarts inquiry is under way, and the wizengamot has assembled to hear what exactly has been going down in that cursed drafty old castle. in the past, though, we have flashbacks to a separate inquiry, into the events of 1992-1993, after the chamber of secrets was opened, where it wasn’t hogwarts on trial, but ginny herself (in a way). the events of ginny’s first year have haunted her in diffuse, quiet, private ways in the flashbacks throughout this fic so far, but we’re moving into the part of the fic where we see just how much they changed the course of her life and who she is as a person. in canon, ofc, we only see harry’s view of the aftermath of ginny’s ordeal in the chamber - dumbledore is reinstated, lucius gets kicked off the governors, ginny weasley is ‘perfectly happy again’... but would that *really* be the end of it? doesn’t it seem perfectly plausible the ministry would investigate given the scale of publicity and threat to student lives, given (as discussed previously) the ministry canonically holds inquiries of varying scales for all sorts of things in canon? wouldn't they hold one for this?

ginny's guilt: in CoS, young harry never blames ginny for any of it: she was hoodwinked, he recognises, and not at all culpable. it’s very harry, and it’s a compassionate read of the situation. but given how little we know dumbledore tells anyone about what the diary actually was (even lucius didn’t know), wouldn’t ginny expect to face at least some questions about her own involvement and culpability, even if she was clearly to some extent also a victim? (the nod to colin’s mum is there as a reminder that there were real victims of the basilisk attacks: ginny could easily have been responsible for the deaths of several children, including her own friends, and if it were my child i think i’d want to ask at least a question or two). what i wanted to show with these flashbacks was this very formative experience for young ginny grappling with her own guilt and her place between two wars, having to face difficult questions about her own complicity in dark magic and attempted murder; for there to be echoes of ginny’s experiences in the experiences of young death eaters during the second wizarding war, and to start to properly draw these themes about choices, moral agency and grey areas, about children’s radicalisation and wars fought both by and through them, and, in particular, where ginny weasley sat within them. what i wanted to show was how ginny’s political and moral worldview was shaped in those pivotal years: her guilt, her sense of her own failings and inadequacies, how discontent she was to be a victim, how obsessed she is with being an agent and a soldier, how much she feels she has to prove. i might bash out a proper meta on this but i think it’s so telling how ginny talks about her second year later on in canon - how haunted she is by the forgetting (in OotP), and how much she sees it as having ‘[taken] orders’ (in HBP), rather than thinking of her possession as just playing host to another entity. here, it’s dumbledore who points out the key traits that led ginny into riddle’s path: her loneliness and isolation, her many insecurities that made her so vulnerable, her fear, a certain desire for self-preservation. even though we know most hogwarts students don’t seem to really know what happened in CoS, and certainly not ginny’s part in it (terry boot in OotP is like ‘lol did you kill a basilisk with a sword!’ which seems to be the extent of the student body’s knowledge of what went down). but i like the idea of there being a record of ginny’s darkest moment in her file, ink and paper proof of this most formative experience in her life, dumbledore dancing around her defence but keeping his cards close to his chest - and also there to pursue if anyone planning a hogwarts takeover was interested in finding someone close to the order of the phoenix who might be a weak link in the chain and be persuaded to flip…

dumbledore: dumbledore appears here only in flashbacks - he’s still absent from his portrait in the present - but it was sooo fun (re)introducing him as a character for the fic for the first time. what i liked about writing dumbledore’s dialogue (though it’s actually much harder than i expected, and i don’t feel that great about some of the lines) was that it was a chance to get a bit meta with the dumbledore bashing tropes that circle around fandom - you work through child soldiers, you monster etc - and try and do something a bit more interesting with them, or at least ask some questions (child soldiers or human shields? can children fight for what they believe in? how you fight a fair fight when the other side sees children as fair game - do you confine children to victimhood, or do you acknowledge, or even encourage, their own moral agency and desire to fight back?) dumbledore is walking a very difficult moral line here: defending ginny, but declining to disclose information that might conclusively exonerate her - eg. the existence of voldemort’s horcruxes - in the name of his most favourite thing, the greater good. in dumbledore’s mind, ginny deserves a defence, but not the whole truth, because that’s too important and bound up in a much bigger picture. dumbledore is always playing 3D chess while everyone else plays chequers. should dumbledore have revealed the horcruxes to conclusively exonerate ginny here? no, right? and yet. one day ginny will name her middle son after this man, and we might start to think about why. is it just loyalty to harry? or something else? i wanted us to see ginny’s political worldview being built, and her view of war and a soldier’s role in it, all themes that will be super important as we go back in time to see her war as she lived it in future chapters.

the intellectuals: one of the least developed but most interesting parts of the wizarding world in canon are the ideas and the people who have em. the series has a lot of important characters that are supposed to be eminent thinkers, but it doesn’t ever really linger on ideology, in the end settling on a kind of boilerplate liberal universalist good vs evil message which is fiiine but much less interesting than actually playing around with the concept of political thinkers and political thought in wizarding culture. it’s why i find the department of mysteries so interesting and so ripe with potential; the idea of a space of intellectual inquiry and investigation, but also a place where the staff’s moral allegiance is kind of a question mark. i loved introducing rookwood here and playing with a different kind of death eater, especially juxtaposed with dumbledore’s reflections in the flashback testimony. rookwood isn’t a bruising thug for fire, or a self-serving machiavellian real politik type or a coward acting out of fear, but someone who really believes in magical supremacy and has built a robust political worldview around it. there’s something really chilling about that. we’ll be seeing him again and i unfortunately am now so rookwood-pilled i worry i will never recover. i knew i’d get hegel in there somewhere! and they said it couldn’t be done! ariana carl schmidt what are you doing here!

kingsley vs minnie: delicious to reignite the minnie discourse, especially to come out to try and beat the minnie-bashing allegations that have jovially dogged me thus far. so far in this fic, kingsley has been an unrelenting goodie, someone who came to ginny to get her endorsement of the inquiry and framed that approach as the righting of a moral wrong in letting the victims of a death eater-run hogwarts have their day in court. minnie, on the other hand, seemed like ginny’s opp, defending a toxic status quo and making wild suggestions like ‘do your homework’ ‘don’t play quidditch when you might die’, like some kind of fucking idiot. in the series ministers of magic are canonically not to be trusted - harry certainly never meets a minister who doesn’t try to put the squeeze on him - and it’s extremely fun to sow these seeds of doubts about kingsley’s motivations here, especially when using ginny the protagonist as canon harry’s mirror (ie. a narrator who is frequently a dumb bitch). what’s kingsley up to? answers on a postcard. but i’ll die on the kingsley is a slytherin hill i’m so sorry! and speaking of minnie…

mother figures (or: the pitfalls of shipping your mum out to the dominions): look i bummed myself out with this one. i have had that the mrs granger knife crime incident scene written for SOoooooo long let me tell you. i’ve written elsewhere about how much this fic is really so much about the girls, and - especially - the girls and their mums, or the people they make mother figures out of. one of the least satisfying of the ‘all was well’ aspect of the series was that actually, at the end of DH, you have a whole host of people who were probably never going to be well again, and i very much see hermione’s parents in that camp. the world and his wife has an opinion on hermione’s decision vis-à-vis her parents. hermione’s stans see it as her deepest personal self-sacrifice; her haters take it as yet more proof of her monstrousness. even if you imagine the grangers were totally mentally well after having their muggle brains messed around with by powerful magic, it is hard to imagine how their relationship with their daughter could ever really be the same again after hermione played god with their minds. but also - as ron says - hermione was motivated by a desperate desire to protect two people who would never really be able to wrap their heads around the peril (such was their distance from her life in the magical world), and who conceivably did need to be yeeted halfway across the world to get them out of harm’s way. the choices made in war - the inglorious, imperfect decisions not of purist heroes but of soldiers in the grimmest of circumstances - are so interesting to play with writing post-war fic, and i have found it so interesting and so sad to play with; especially the idea of girls coming of age and learning to see their mothers clearly, and - in the case of both hermione but also ginny - having to wrap their heads around the possibility that they may never really be ok again, and asking what that means for them, their daughters.

(also hermione brawling at ballet is a tribute to a very dear friend of mine who was in fact asked to leave our ballet lessons for pulling another girl’s hair in a fight over the barre in a pre-primary exam. monstrous competitive precocious stroppy madams unite!) 

hinny: i’ll answer some of the Qs i’ve had about this in a separate little from the postbag post shortly, but i do want to say: the thing with these chapters is that it was really important they happened after harry and ginny have had some breakthrough in the preceding chapter, where ginny has agreed to be honest and harry has asked her to let him help her and not to protect him from the truth. i always wanted harry and ginny to write these letters each other and promise to be honest to work on bridging the gaps between them and overcoming their own failings to work to do better by each other, and for those letters to now look like contracts they have to hold each other to. how will harry take it? they’ve made a commitment to each other. now they’re testing that commitment, and that’s going to take a lot of work, especially on harry’s part. (also ofc he had to find out at shell cottage, the official place of harry realising stuff. he’s going to start declining bill and fleur’s dinner invitations fr.)

ron weasley is our king: this whole fic is just ron apologism and i will never apologise for it. helping his girlfriend's traumatised mentally scarred mother with a bit of tlc and a spot of gardening! rescuing neighbour's children from trees! you will never be able to convince me ron weasley wouldn't be a great fucking boyfriend to one ms hermione granger. do not ever try!

last thing - sodding quidditch: fucking hate writing it!!! hate it with my whole heart!!! i see why everyone writes hermione now. you don’t have to give a shit about those stupid balls if granger's your gal. the mystery of what’s going on with ginny on her broom continues, with ginny’s apparent ability to seek (just about) but not chase throwing up more questions than answers. what was fun about writing this bit was getting to write ginny the captain and the team player, taking on great risk for the team - of injury, of humiliation -  and also place her in this surround that the trio never really operate in: a character who is canonically very popular and liked by her peers, who has played the thoroughly selfless and unrewarding role of backup seeker and potter understudy for years for her house, and who will saddle up at enormous personal expense not just because she is brave, or inherently self-sacrificing, but because she wants to make the people around her happy - her gryffindor family, but also the hogwarts student body at large. the trio are much less motivated by the well-being of the other children around them - they have higher-minded self-sacrificing tendencies about a more abstract moral good. neville and luna, the other two members of the silver trio, are goodies but unpopular oddities. it’s an underplayed part of the series that harry and the trio turn around in their sixth year and clock that somehow ginny turned out to be very liked and respected by the popular and unpopular of hogwarts alike, admired for being a) a laugh and b) someone who cares about other people and wants to get on with them. (makes you realise how often protagonists are removed from their peers in a slightly lofty they don’t understand me or being popular is beneath me vein.) this isn’t just a Nice Thing: i think it’s important for who ginny is as a character, and will be important for thinking about her wartime motivations, too.

reading list:

not done one of these in a while! but most things should come with a reading list, and these chapters are no different.

on ministry bureaucracy and the state (actually read this after these chapters were done but desperately wish i had read it before ffs):

Subluxation by @saintsenara

on hermione's mum/parents:

alone now by Kyra Along the Way by ElizabethCulmer you were broken-hearted and the world was, too by celaenos

on post-war justice and difficult questions:

what you're not to do by irnan

on the potters and the sea (more vibes than subject matter - this is next gen - but this one is gorgeous, and really got me thinking about harry and ginny's family by the sea):

Eyes like Sea Glass by @clerical3rror

songs from the playlist for these chapters:

for chapter 13 i went all moody, building dread, bit of a throwback to michael corner calling ginny a tryer with the taylor swift choice (i've never been a natural/all i do is try, try, try). that kate bush song basically got this chapter written i swear to god:

she is like the swallow by karan casey | waking the witch (2018 remaster) by kate bush | house of the rising sun by joni mitchell | bane by alt-j | afraid of everyone by the national | mirrorball - the long pond studio sessions by taylor swift | what if the birds aren't singing they're screaming by aldous harding

for chapter 14, much more abstract, a bit more instrumental, and out to sea (watershed moment; the tide is rolling in, kids). tortured poets is a deeply flawed deeply uneven album by a deeply un-self-aware artist convinced she knows herself well but but i'm afraid the albatross is very good (so is guilty as sin but it wasn't the moment for a matty healy wank anthem now was it):

the opportunity passed in less than a minute by roy montgomery | the albatross by taylor swift | first of the tide by erland cooper and benge | wash by bon iver | escapism by a. blomqvist

about chapter 15 (and 16…)

the next chapters are ginny's war. they're (almost) all flashback, and i am sooooooo excited about them (and desperately hope you will like them jfc). i am in the unusual position of now picking up great enormous pieces that i wrote over a year ago and dusting them off and sorting them out and rewriting bits and writing new bits around them. there's probably two chapters in it, so am currently expecting chapter 15 and 16 to drop at the same time (that might change, but for now, that feels right to me). i'm tip-tapping as fast as my little fingers can carry me. here's the least spoilery sneak peek i could rustle up!

'I'm not smugglin' in nuthin", says Hagrid. He raises a large muddy finger at her. 'I want yeh to listen to me, for once in yer life. Keep yer head down. Go to yer classes, have yer dinner, put up, and shut up. They're lookin' fer a reason to go after yer family. Reckon the best thing yeh can do for the Order is to keep to verself and stay out o' trouble. Reckon that's what yer mum wants yeh to do. Reckon that's what Harry wants, too.'

[rainypoetrydefendor]

🏳️‍🌈NEED FOR JUSTICE.

In the resounding echo of humanity's pursuit for justice and liberty resonates a fervent yearning cherished by multitudes. Justice, entwined with the essence of freedom, emerges as the ideal sought by all. Yet, amidst the veils of public perception lies an unsettling truth, one that the world has regrettably failed to grasp. The façade of virtue painted by the UNHCR shrouds a reality steeped in desolation and shattered expectations.

With each passing day, month, and year, the landscape of our existence within the confines of Kakuma Refugee Camp in Kenya grows increasingly bleak. We, the queer refugees and asylum seekers, find ourselves entangled in a web of adversity. It is not merely a narrative of what has transpired over the years but a poignant inquiry into what ought to be rectified, and more crucially, what each noble soul can endeavor to rectify in this relentless wave of injustice.

Pain, a transient visitor to the human soul, is believed to dissipate with the passage of time. However, when one remains ensnared within the clutches of unrelenting violence and despair, time becomes an elusive remedy. Only those shackled by these circumstances can fathom the depth of anguish endured. Countless untold stories languish in obscurity, leaving a haunting sense of neglect and isolation. Every avenue meant to provide solace and sanctuary has transmuted into a source of strain for us.

The resounding call for justice often finds its resonance in the collective voice of the public. Yet, when the custodians of power turn a blind eye, actively perpetuating the cycle of violence and injustice, the very essence of justice is desecrated. Whom shall we hold accountable for this protracted travesty, silently unfolding before our innocent eyes? The harrowing violence inflicted by certain African communities upon the queer populace is a known chapter. However, it is the complicity of organizations like the UNHCR, with their deliberate inaction and implicit participation in this violence through police brutality, that perpetuates our mental anguish.

Attempting to assert our rights in the face of UNHCR officials within the camp has become an ordeal, leaving us emotionally and mentally scarred. Our lives, relegated to the margins, have been deprived of opportunities that should be universal to all refugees. Fleeing from persecution has only led us into an abyss of uncertainty, as the malevolent forces continue to prey upon our innocence.

Despite the trials that haunt our days and the tragedies that have torn apart our circles of love and support, we refuse to relinquish our stance in advocating for justice and freedom. We stand resolute against the tide of suffering that threatens to engulf us entirely. Friends, companions, and kin have been lost to the heinous acts of fellow refugees, organizations, activists, embassies, and governmental bodies entrusted with safeguarding human and civil rights.

To you, the compassionate and resilient souls who champion the cause of justice, I implore your solidarity. Your impact, your advocacy, can be the beacon of change illuminating the dark corridors of Kakuma Refugee Camp and Kenya. Our queer community, besieged by brutality, hatred, and violence, beseeches your support. In the midst of abhorrent living conditions, where basic needs remain a distant dream, we beseech various organizations and activists to refute the misguided ethos of the UNHCR in Kenya.

Stand with us, lend your voice to the chorus for freedom, and advocate for the liberation of the queer individuals in Kakuma Refugee Camp. Our only experience in this realm has been one etched with unrelenting pain—a reality we refuse to accept as our fate.

Please try to consider making a donation to also save innocent lives of lgbtiq individuals

https://gofund.me/6930e2d7

[hisui-dreamer]

ode to the scheming eel

Pairing: Jade Leech x gn!reader

Synopsis: the world would never know how wonderful he is, but he was a treasure beyond compare

Tags: drabble, fluff, slightly poetic hehe, reader is a simp for jade

Word count: 604

Notes: double posting for floyd's too!!! eel birthday fics wooo!

yes it's been a few days but im still celebrating (⁠ﾉ⁠≧⁠∇⁠≦⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠ ⁠ﾐ⁠ ⁠┻⁠━⁠┻

Masterlist

Your lover often keeps himself wrapped in layers of soft-spoken charm and formal eloquence. The world sees him as a meticulous vice housewarden, yet, there's more to him than meets the eye. He revels in the art of deception, a master puppeteer manipulating the strings of those around him. Words, for him, are the weapons of choice, and he wields them with a finesse that leaves others bewildered. They dance with a subtle wit, each sentence a carefully crafted tapestry of indirect barbs veiled in layers of politeness, but cut sharper than any blade.

Your lover possesses a subtle artistry in the way he observes you. His keen eyes, like an ever-watchful guardian, seem to unravel the intricacies of your being with each passing moment. His enjoyment in watching you is not invasive; instead, it's a delicate dance of understanding, an appreciation for the nuances that make you who you are. In his gaze, you feel a sense of acceptance and fascination, a warmth that borders on admiration. And though he may be admit to being uncomfortable when it becomes your turn to observe him, there’s no denying the blissful smile on his flushed face.

Your lover possesses a remarkable capacity for care and an unparalleled attention to detail that extends beyond the bounds of ordinary affection. It's as if he holds an intimate map of your well-being, meticulously navigating the subtle shifts in your mood. His eyes, sharp and perceptive, catch the nuances of your expressions, and his gentle inquiries are a testament to the depth of his concern. Whether it's a fleeting illness or the weight of a difficult day, his caring nature unveils itself in the subtle gestures—a comforting touch, a jacket on your shoulders, a few words of motivation, or simply a quiet presence that speaks volumes. His attention to the nuances of your emotional landscape is a testament to the genuine and compassionate love he harbours for you.

Your lover takes immense pleasure in the teasing you, delighting in the subtle dance of words that elicit reactions from you. He possesses a mischievous flair, savouring each moment as he skilfully weaves playful banter into your interactions. The sparkle in his eyes betrays the satisfaction he finds in observing your responses, a testament to his mastery in the delicate game of verbal sparring. However, the tables turn when you successfully tease him back. In those moments, a subtle flush colours his cheeks, his usually eloquent words falter, replaced by a silent vulnerability that reveals a side of him he keeps well-guarded. It's in these instances that the power dynamic shifts, and you catch precious glimpses of your tender, unguarded lover beneath the veil of his composed exterior.

Your lover's unusual obsession with mushrooms may be slightly concerning, but you can’t find it in yourself to deny him when his eyes shine with delight. There's an undeniable allure in witnessing his fervor, and you find yourself incapable of withholding support. Your scavenging hikes become cherished adventures, traversing landscapes in search of the elusive fungi. Throughout the journey, he remains attentive, ensuring your well-being at every turn. In embracing his passion, you discover a shared joy that transforms any reservations into moments of bonding and shared experiences.

Your lover, with all his complexities, is the masterpiece you've chosen to love, a canvas painted with shades of eloquence, mischief, and a profound appreciation for the beauty that others may overlook. You find yourself captivated by the enigma that he is, drawn to the uncharted territories of his thoughts and the subtleties of his actions.

Your lover, is none other than Jade Leech.

Masterlist

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

[4dkellysworld]

Three Methods on the Path

There are three methods we use to help us on the path so we can realize our Self: 1. Self-surrender - where we surrender completely to God, or to your Self. But that’s hard to do for most people. It sounds easy, but it’s not. It means that you have no life of your own. You surrender completely and totally, everything to God. Totally. Every part of your life goes to God. “Not my will, but Thine.” That’s devotion, bhakti. Again, it sounds easy to some people, but it’s not when you get into it, because it means every decision that you have to make is left up to God. You give your mind to God, totally, completely, absolutely. And that leads you to Self-realization. 2. Mindfulness - Becoming the witness. Watching yourself continuously. Watching your thoughts, watching your actions. Sitting in meditation and watching what goes on in your mind. Not trying to change anything or correct anything. Just observing. Becoming the witness to your thoughts in meditation, and to your actions in the waking state. 3. Self-inquiry - this is the one that I advocate. Asking yourself, “To whom do these troubles come? To whom does this karma come? To whom does this suffering come? It comes to me. Well, what is ‘me’? I am me. Who am I? From where did the I come from?” And following the “I” to its source. You can use any (or all) of those three methods, whatever suits you best. But by all means, do something. Don’t waste your life with frivolities. Work on yourself, if you want to become free. It doesn’t mean you have to give up going to the movies, or going to work, or anything. You give nothing up. You just become aware of what you’re doing. You become a conscious being. You become conscious of your actions. You become loving, compassionate, gentle to all people. You stop watching out for number one. Most of us say, “Number one, I’m number one.” Forget it. That’s how you suffer. That’s ego. It’s hard to understand, when you give up your ego, how you can have a better life, but you do. Try it and you’ll see. When you stop thinking of yourself, and you start thinking on your Self, but yourself becomes Omnipresence, that means you're thinking of everybody else as yourself. So if any human being suffers, you suffer too.

from Silence of the Heart by Robert Adams

[dazedantics]

"Alucard?" You said softly, looking up from your charcoal detail paper.

The man hummed, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.

You glance back down at the drawing you'd finished of him.

It looked great, he was a marvelous subject for a portrait. He was perfectly still and silent in any pose you positioned him, unmoving until you said you had finished. You loved to gaze at him with each drawing, tracing the outline of his well defined features, like the curve of his jaw or sharp shape of his nose, the soft curls of his golden hair that fell in waves around his shoulders, the length of his lashes that cast shadows over his amber eyes, the prominent arch of his brows, and swell of his plump lips onto the thick sheet of paper you carried around with a pen of charcoal, shading his features to match the lighting in a way you knew best.

Each pose, angle, and lighting was different. But there was one thing every drawing of him had in common.

"Why don't I ever see you smile?"

The man stiffened and proceeded to ignore your inquiry. "Are you almost done? I believe it's nearly time for our evening meal."

You looked back up at him and nodded slowly.

"I couldn't be more grateful that you allow me to draw you, Alucard. But, I am noticing a pattern in your ... habits. The way you present yourself."

Alucard stood and proceeded to walk in the direction of the kitchen, hoping to escape your conversation.

You followed after him.

"You are less grumpy looking than when we first met. But I have never seen you laugh or smile or give any other expression than this numb, blank look."

"My apologies, I am just not an expressive person like you're used to. There's no need to follow me, I'll finish up quickly and call for you when the food is done."

For a moment you didn't reply, simply staring at him from behind as he took long strides in front of you.

Like the castle walls surrounding you, he was so cold and sheltered, with walls thick enough to withstand many heavy attacks from the outside. So distant. Hiding in his own mind as he was hiding in this crumbling structure so deep into the woods.

You hoped one day you could even hear a snippet of what he was thinking of, get accepted into his inner fortress like you had been able to be accepted to stay within this fortified home of his.

You just, didn't know how.

Hesitantly, you reached out to him, pausing your actions for a moment before finally grabbing onto the sleeve of his coat, prompting him to stop and look over at you.

You gave him a warm smile and said, "if you ever have anything you need to get off your chest, I'll always be here to listen."

Alucard blinked slowly at you and after a minute you continued to walk in front of him, babbling about what he should make for this evening.

It went in one ear and out the other.

Alucard, now following behind you, furrowed his brow and pursed his lips further as he ran your words back in his mind over and over again.

Such compassionate words. From a seemingly harmless person. He truly wanted to believe you and tell you all that has been persistently wearing him down. But he just couldn't.

He had met one too many who gave him the same impression of harmlessness. And they had no remorse in trying to take advantage of his trust and vulnerability. That cut deeper than any sword or claw ever had and he couldn't handle the thought of experiencing that again with you.

He may have been a fool to let you in to live with him in the first place. But he would not make the mistake of blindly trusting you because he was lonely. He would not allow it.

'You'll always be here?'

Unlikely.

Alucard shook his head to clear his thoughts, and jumped into the conversation of dinner plans instead.

Maybe one day, he'd be able to meet someone he could actually trust. Maybe that person was you. He really hoped so. But as of now, it was too soon to tell.

He'd skirt any further questions you had in correspondence to this until much further in the future, when all doubts about your intentions were washed away from his mind.

An issue that would be much harder to fix than simply wishing it to go away.

[iska48s]

Gilbert Bellerose

[ Lore drop: ]

Member of House Bellerose. Gilbert is a kind and compassionate man, deeply attuned to the suffering of others. His warm and caring nature set him apart from the rest of his family, who regard him as overly sentimental and lacking in assertiveness. Gilbert is also notoriously talkative—once engaged in conversation, he has difficulty knowing when to stop. A simple inquiry about his day often leads to an extended monologue.

He took in Flora and Clemens as his wards during one of the darkest moments of their lives. The siblings had endured a terrible accident that claimed the life of their eldest brother, leaving them alone in the world. Having fled their home, they were barely surviving when Gilbert found them and offered his help.

Clemens, nearly of age at the time, received an education and everything he needed to rebuild his life. Gilbert also provided him with a prosthetic arm to replace the one he lost in the accident. Later he assisted Clemens in establishing an herbal shop. Preferring a simple life away from aristocratic society, he settled in a quiet part of the metropolis. Gilbert and Flora frequently visit him.

Flora, on the other hand, was still a young girl when Gilbert took her in. At Clemens' request, she moved in with Gilbert, giving her a chance at a better future. At first, she was just a foster child, but their bond quickly deepened. Before long, Gilbert formally adopted Flora as his legitimate daughter, raising her with care, as if she were his own flesh and blood.

Gilbert's protective nature stems from a tragic past. Once married and expecting a child, he suffered a tragic loss when both his wife and their unborn child perished during childbirth. To this day, he has never fully come to terms with their deaths. This lingering grief fuels his determination to keep Flora and Clemens safe, ensuring that no harm ever befalls them under his watch.

---

Kinda angsty, but anyway, I made some quick doodles this time lol:

[dataframe]

important thing abt yqy & sqq (to me) is that they are built to be the most manipulative duo when it comes to sect politics. their personable masks and the way they know how to read one another, much to their (usually sqq's) chagrin.

it's very easy to misconstrue qingyuan as the pleasant smiling smiler who (compensates for) smooths over sqq's harsher words, but i find it interesting how it's noted that there is a consistent pressure on all sect leaders to abstain from being too personally invested in the happenings. under this lens, there will be some moments where he must stand back because a matter isn't significant enough to warrant his direct attention (approval, inquiry, or scorn) - and considering sqq's done his own work figuring out how to suppress the more obvious signs of his endless hatred, i'm sure he has very little trouble keeping up the charm in cases where it's an easy means to an end. and for as long as yqy makes his backing clear, reveals trust in his fellow peak lords, he needn't say anything at all to have cang qiong understood.

especially if it's to do with a serious matter, it's much easier to simply nod his assent to maintain the polite and necessary distance to leave that air of power lingering. even in moments of disagreement - yqy is not vicious, as sqq is known to be, but remains rather severe. if he questions or outright disapproves of you, he will succinctly tear down any ground you believed you had. sqq will detail for all to see the list of your incompetencies, but yqy will cut through to the heart of the matter, you know?

i'm certain yqy relaxes slightly more when he's living day-to-day on cang qiong, but ultimately... it all calls back to the whole [gestures] yqy is amicable, but not compassionate -- save for very few. it becomes easy to misunderstand this difference though, considering cang qiong requires maintaining good relations amidst martial siblings. something which sqq finds too exhausting a task to endure. yqy's general detachment helps him move through both politics and this with ease, but his distance from the others becomes markedly noticeable when they have sqq to compare or when he strains to keep his usual friendly pretense (absent of kindness; the world has very little of that to spare, as does he)

very fun to consider... the peak lords observing sqq in his full facade, attributing it to his willing two-facedness, even as yqy relaxes into the distance natural to himself, that is expected of a sect leader anyway and therefore justifies it. it's a performance for both of them to avoid being hurt. to entrust the other with backing them or saying what one cannot be trusted to say -- they play best off of each other when they're acting as these set pieces. no need to linger on the intricacies within that innate bond, the reason for why it comes so easy; only that this individual is competent and willing to partner with you for this scheme where your goals align.

[thelivingfractal]

Introduction Post

Hey everyone, I’m Daphne Denninghoff. 🌌 Welcome to my little corner of the internet, where I dive deep into the truth beneath the surface and challenge the narratives that keep us divided and distracted.

About Me I'm 31, from the Netherlands, and I’m on a journey of awakening and self-discovery, peeling back layers of conditioning to uncover the raw, unfiltered truth. I explore the big questions: Why are we so divided? How does society keep us locked in an "us versus them" mindset? What does it mean to live in unity, beyond labels and judgments? If you’re someone who’s also asking these questions, you’re in the right place.

What You’ll Find Here On this blog, I’ll be sharing my reflections on consciousness, self-inquiry, unity, and the power of love—yes, the kind that goes beyond conditions and control. You’ll find thoughts on society’s illusions, the engine of division, and the structures that keep us from living authentically and compassionately. I’ll also talk about the path of self-transformation, seeing through the veil, and finding freedom beyond conventional thinking.

Let’s Grow Together This is a space for truth-seekers, questioners, and those ready to see the world with fresh eyes. Whether you’re here to read, reflect, or engage in discussion, I welcome you with open arms and an open mind. Let’s embrace the uncomfortable, expand our consciousness, and uncover what it means to live authentically and freely.

So, if you’re ready to see beyond the surface and explore what lies beneath, join me on this journey. Let’s wake up together. 🌱✨

[drake-wayne-enterprise]

https://www.tumblr.com/danny-fenton-in-gotham/772983570057822208/i-love-the-difference-between-the-people-around?source=share

Your friend is adorable... Why does he have so many scars tho?

My friend has a name. Danny is one of the kindest and most compassionate individuals I have ever had the privilege of knowing. That is where your focus should lie, not on his scars. If you feel you truly "need to know," I suggest you direct the question to him personally. However, I believe that such an inquiry would be perceived as both distasteful and offensive so I strongly recommend against it.

Tim Drake