#Child abuse stigma

[ex-foster]

The just-world theory explains how people rationalize injustice by assuming that victims must have done something to deserve their suffering. This mindset leads to harmful stereotypes and mistreatment of foster kids in several ways:

1. The "Bad Kids" Stereotype

People assume that if a child was removed from their family, they must have done something wrong rather than recognizing that they were victims of neglect or abuse.

Foster kids are often labeled as "troubled," "problematic," or "difficult," even when their behaviors are normal responses to trauma.

Teachers, caregivers, and peers may expect them to act out, leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy where the child is treated unfairly and then struggles because of it.

2. The "Liars" Stigma

When foster youth report abuse, neglect, or mistreatment, they are often dismissed as attention-seeking or manipulative.

This skepticism stems from the belief that caregivers or adults wouldn't harm a child unless the child provoked it.

Many foster youth hesitate to speak up about mistreatment because they fear being disbelieved or retaliated against.

3. The "They Must Have Deserved It" Mindset

People struggle to accept that children can suffer horrific abuse through no fault of their own, so they look for reasons to blame the child (e.g., "Maybe they were difficult for their parents," "Maybe they acted out in their foster homes").

This mentality leads to less sympathy for foster kids and prevents society from addressing the real systemic failures that harm them.

4. The "Unadoptable" or "Damaged Goods" Assumption

Some people assume that foster youth have inherent behavioral issues that make them undesirable to adopt.

This discourages people from fostering or adopting older kids, reinforcing a cycle where many children remain in the system without stability.

Foster kids are sometimes treated like they are broken beyond repair instead of being seen as resilient individuals in need of support.

5. The Criminalization of Foster Youth

Former foster kids are overrepresented in the juvenile justice system because they are more likely to be policed and punished for behaviors that would be overlooked in non-foster youth.

If a foster youth has a meltdown or runs away, they are treated as delinquents rather than traumatized kids in crisis.

The assumption that foster youth are more prone to criminality results in harsher treatment from schools, law enforcement, and the legal system.

6. The Myth That Foster Kids Don’t Value Family or Attachment

Some assume that foster youth don’t care about relationships because they have been moved around or have strained family ties.

In reality, many former foster kids deeply long for connection and stability but struggle due to repeated losses.

Society’s unwillingness to recognize this leads to further isolation, reinforcing the idea that foster kids are emotionally distant or incapable of love.

[storytellerslense]

JJ Maybank character analysis

How parentification shaped JJ‘s personality

Part 1

Parentified children face multiple challenges. They often experience stigmatization, feeling judged or isolated due to their family dynamics. Additionally, they carry the burden of family secrets, keeping quiet about the true nature of their responsibilities and the issues within their home. These children are forced to grow up too quickly, dealing with adult responsibilities and emotional burdens, which can lead to psychological stress, anxiety, and role confusion. This dual pressure impacts their social development and mental health, often leaving them feeling overwhelmed and unsupported.

Stigmatization

JJ referring to his difficult and abusive home life after taking the fall for Pope. (Season 1, Episode 4)

JJ's behavioral patterns and anxiety caused by the stress of his family life are often misunderstood by others. Additionally, he is viewed by his environment as the son of an irresponsible and criminal father, which likely causes him not only shame but also increases the pressure on him to disprove the negative prejudices.

Stigmatization can also lead to stereotype threat by making individuals acutely aware of negative stereotypes and increasing the pressure to avoid confirming them. This heightened awareness and anxiety can impair performance and behavior, resulting in a self-fulfilling prophecy:

"He's just like his father. He's a liar and a thief." (Kiara's father Mike Carrera, Season 3, Episode 5)

In Season 3, Episode 5, JJ overhears Kiara's father saying, "He's just like his father. He's a liar and a thief", labelling him based on negative stereotypes associated with his family background. The words visibly hurt and demoralize JJ. They also increase JJ's anxiety and pressure to avoid confirming these stereotypes. He notices Kiara's father's wallet and the stress of his comments then triggers the impulsive reaction to steal it before leaving the house.

"You'll be back here one day. It's in your blood." (Deputy Plump, Season 2 Episode 5)

In another scene, Deputy Plumb is in the Sheriff's Department when JJ arrives to see John B. After allowing JJ to see his friend, she intentionally leads him to see his imprisoned father. She tells JJ that he is destined to end up in jail because it's in his blood. Plumb's actions and words reinforce negative stereotypes and social stigma, contributing to his internal conflict and feelings of inadequacy, potentially having a significantly impact on JJ's behavior and self-perception.

Impulsiveness and the tendency to make solo decisions 

Having grown up in a high-stress environment where he frequently had to handle crises on his own, JJ has developed a habit of making quick, decisive actions independently.

Growing up in a stressful environment where he had to manage crises regularly, JJ has learned to make quick, decisive actions without seeking input. This habit translates into JJ often making impulsive decisions and acting alone without considering his friends' opinions. Parentification can lead to a strong desire for control and independence, as the child feels the need to manage everything themselves to ensure stability and safety.

JJ’s need to regain control over his life and situations manifests in making solo decisions, even if they are risky.

In Season 1, Episode 7, JJ gets into a heated argument with his friends about stealing money from Barry. The group votes against it, but JJ, driven by his own determination, decides to go his own way and separates from his friends. Possibly JJ is accustomed to make quick decisions under pressure due to his chaotic home life. In stressful situations, he tends to seek immediate solutions to regain control (over his life) without fully considering the consequences, exemplified by his decision to steal from Barry despite his friends' objections. It's also hard for him to trust their decisions. His separation from the group reflects his believe that he alone must handle crises, disregarding his friends' vote.

[crazycatsiren]

Hey media, here's an idea: how about an abusive parent character who's abusive because they're abusive?

Not because they're mentally ill (especially not because they have bipolar disorder). But because they're just a horrible person who'd abuse children, their own at that?

[aroacettorney]

if you think about it, the lumensis order is famous for not giving any benefits nor treating kindly towards concubines and children born out of wedlock, so its unlikely that anyone in their right mind would volunteer themselves to become and/or bear one. this actually suggests a much darker implication that they might have been victims of sexual violence (and possibly kidnapping. and even worse, grooming. after all, they did have a history of taking little girls away from their own family) — which makes the lousy tradition of branding their bastard children even more insane. its like screaming at the whole world to let people know that some of their most well-respected members are not only a cheater but also a sexual predator, and the holy church of lumensis is proudly letting them get away with it acting all high and mighty while punishing their innocent victims with death sentences.

[mafukasa]

also this is just a thought I had recently after seeing certain takes from certain people, but I really wish yall would actually remember that child neglect IS abuse even if it’s unintentional when talking abt tsukasa’s childhood yknow.

and also acknowledge it as something genuinely traumatizing lmao. cause as a victim of unintentional abuse some of the shit I had to read with my own eyes while being in this fandom is making me fucking sick just saying.

[one-abuse-survivor]

Hello. How are you ? I was never abused. I am sorry that I come across ignorant. There is the notion that is harsh to the golden children in a narcissistic parent dynamic. They are treated as they are doomed to be complicit to the abuse or be abusers themselves, is that treatment fair ? What are golden children like ? Are they always doomed to abusers or complicit to abuse and bad people ? Have a have a nice week!

Hi! I'm doing well, although I'm a little overwhelmed by life currently. Hope you're doing well too!

Don't worry about sounding ignorant! We're all ignorant about so many things, and we're all constantly learning new things. I appreciate you wanting to learn more about this topic!

First of all, I'd like to say it's not narcissistic parents who turn their kids into scapegoats and golden children, it's (some) abusive ones. Personally, I was raised as an only child and I was turned into a mixture of both and neither of those roles, so, even though I can share my thoughts on this, if any other abuse survivors would like to add their thoughts as well, I'd love to hear what you have to say about this topic!

All that being said, yeah, I've come across the notion that golden children are "doomed" to turn into abusers. And it's true that, in some cases, that does happen. Golden children do sometimes grow up to still agree with their abusers and repeat the same patterns.

The thing is, the opposite happens too, and I'd say roughly just as often. Scapegoat children do sometimes grow up and become abusive toward others. Maybe the reasoning behind those behaviours is different in each case (think "I'm entitled to demand these things from others because they've always been given to me" vs. "I'm entitled to demand these things from others because they were always denied to me"), but neither of them is particularly more likely than the other to continue the cycle of abuse.

But there are two factors that I think are rarely taken into consideration when these conversations surrounding golden children are had.

Firstly: no one is doomed to be an abuser. Not people with abusive pasts (golden child, scapegoat, or N/A). Not people with personality disorders like NPD. Not people with anger issues or short tempers. Not people of a particular gender or sexuality. Not people of a certain ethnicity or nationality. Not religious people. And I think to claim that anyone is doomed to be abusive is to take responsibility away from that person for their abuse. Because if they were doomed, clearly they couldn't help it—it was caused by forces outside their control. Truth is, even though abuse isn't always intentional on abuser's part, we can all make an intentional effort to not be abusive, if we want to. Even people who have been abusive in the past can choose to stop, and to change. And, just as importantly, even people with zero "reasons" to abuse (no troubling past, no mental/economic/stress/life issues, no nothing) can be abusive. No one is exempt from that potentiality. Every single person has the potential to abuse.

Secondly (and perhaps most importantly): golden children are abuse victims too. Read that again. Golden children are abuse victims too. Yes, maybe they weren't overtly punished, ridiculed or threatened like scapegoats were. But they were shown that love was conditional and compliance non-negotiable. They were pitted against their sibling or relative, forced to take a side because that was their only way to remain safe. It was unsafe to have any opinions or wants of their own that went against the abuser's. They grew up in survival mode, in an environment of constant tension and conflict. And they witnessed overt abuse toward the scapegoat, which, in and of itself, is abuse. (Yes, any minor who witnesses abuse toward another person is a victim of abuse as well. Yes, simply witnessing abuse as a minor is enough for it to count).

Regarding the question "what are golden children like?", every abuse victim and survivor is different, and that applies to golden children as well. Golden children can grow up to be entitled and abusive, and/or they can grow up traumatised, terrified of authority figures, anxious, depressed, kind, patient, with survivor's guilt, feeling worthless, feeling incapable of forming true connections with others, angry, grieving the family relationship they never had, bubbly, dissociated, terrified of being a monster, guilty about their past behaviours or beliefs, continuing to be abused without even realising it because they think what they're going through doesn't deserve that label, or all of it at once. And a long, long etc.

To be a golden child, as well as to be a scapegoat, is to be a pawn in someone else's game, where the abuser holds all the power. You might be granted some of that power if you're the golden child, but that just messes you up in fun and unexpected ways. It's not healthy. It's not safe. The golden child is powerless to leave or change the situation, and did not choose to be put in that situation to begin with. Some of them may actively choose to stay because they enjoy the power to abuse that the situation gives them, but that is an active choice they have made and not an unavoidable consequence of their upbringing. And, in those cases, when they choose to stay and/or perpetuate the abuse when they have the ability to leave, they deserve to be held fully accountable for that decision.

Tl;Dr: yes, golden children (and scapegoats) do sometimes become abusive. But no one is doomed to be abusive, anyone can choose to make an effort to not be abusive, and we can't forget that golden children are victims of abuse too.

[person1243]

Bully?

I don't remember all of them I don't remember all they did I don't remember all their words

But

I remember the hurt I remember the tears I remember the nights I remember the fights

But

I can't ever call them bullies I can't ever tell anyone I was a victim I can't ever try to acknowledge my pain

Because

We were all kids Kids were just playing They were just playing for six years I was overreacting for six years

What do I know rt?

[writing-with-sophia]

Common misfortunes for characters

Death of a loved one: This can be a profound and devastating experience for a character, leading to grief, guilt, and a sense of loss. It can also serve as a catalyst for character development and exploration of themes such as mortality, coping with loss, and the fragility of life.

Serious illness or injury: Physical or mental health challenges can test a character's resilience and force them to confront their limitations. It can also provide opportunities for exploring themes of perseverance, the importance of support systems, and the fragility of the human body.

Loss of a job or financial ruin: Financial struggles can lead to desperation, uncertainty, and a loss of identity for a character. It can also present opportunities for growth, reinvention, and exploring themes of resilience, resourcefulness, and the true value of material possessions.

Betrayal by a trusted friend or ally: Betrayal can shatter trust and lead to feelings of anger, betrayal, and a loss of faith in others. It can create complex moral dilemmas for the character and explore themes of loyalty, forgiveness, and the dark side of human nature.

Imprisonment or wrongful accusation: Being imprisoned or falsely accused can lead to feelings of powerlessness, injustice, and a struggle for redemption. It provides opportunities for exploring themes of justice, personal agency, and the lengths one will go to prove their innocence.

Natural disasters: Natural disasters can be catastrophic events that disrupt lives, challenge survival instincts, and test a character's resilience. They can explore themes of human vulnerability, the power of nature, and the strength of community in times of crisis.

War or conflict: War and conflict can have profound impacts on characters, leading to physical and emotional trauma, loss of loved ones, and moral dilemmas. They provide opportunities for exploring themes of heroism, sacrifice, the futility of violence, and the long-lasting effects of war.

Addiction or substance abuse: Characters grappling with addiction or substance abuse can experience a downward spiral, strained relationships, and a loss of control. It allows for exploration of themes such as self-destructive behavior, the road to recovery, and the impact of addiction on oneself and others.

Mental health issues: Characters dealing with mental health issues like depression or anxiety can face internal struggles, isolation, and difficulties in functioning. It provides an opportunity to delve into themes of stigma, self-discovery, and the importance of mental health support.

Loss of a child or miscarriage: The loss of a child or experiencing a miscarriage can be emotionally devastating for characters, leading to grief, guilt, and questioning of one's purpose or identity. It allows for exploration of themes of parental love, coping with loss, and the complexities of grief.

Failed relationships or divorce: Characters going through failed relationships or divorce can experience heartbreak, loneliness, and a sense of failure. It presents an opportunity to explore themes of love, forgiveness, personal growth, and the complexities of human relationships.

Alienation or social isolation: Characters who feel alienated or socially isolated can grapple with feelings of loneliness, rejection, and a sense of not belonging. It allows for exploration of themes of identity, acceptance, and the importance of human connection.

Identity theft or fraud: Characters who fall victim to identity theft or fraud can face financial ruin, loss of reputation, and a struggle to reclaim their identity. It provides opportunities to delve into themes of trust, deception, and the lengths one goes to protect their identity.

Accidental injury or disability: Characters experiencing accidental injury or acquiring a disability can face physical and emotional challenges, adjusting to a new way of life, and overcoming societal barriers. It allows for exploration of themes such as resilience, self-acceptance, and the meaning of true strength.

Loss of a treasured possession or heirloom: Losing a treasured possession or heirloom can evoke feelings of loss, nostalgia, and a connection to the past. It provides an opportunity to explore themes of materialism, attachment, and the value of intangible memories.

Being stranded or lost in a remote or dangerous location: Characters finding themselves stranded or lost in a remote or dangerous location can face survival challenges, fear, and the need to rely on their instincts. It allows for exploration of themes of resilience, self-discovery, and the inherent strength of the human spirit.

Struggling with poverty or homelessness: Characters experiencing poverty or homelessness can encounter hardships, discrimination, and a constant struggle for basic needs. It provides an opportunity to explore themes of social inequality, resilience, and the power of compassion and empathy.

Encounter with a dangerous or malicious antagonist: Characters facing a dangerous or malicious antagonist can be subjected to physical and psychological harm, manipulation, and a fight for their lives. It allows for exploration of themes of good versus evil, moral choices, and the strength of the human spirit in the face of adversity.

Political or social persecution: Characters experiencing political or social persecution can face oppression, injustice, and the fight for their rights and freedom. It provides an opportunity to explore themes of social change, courage, and the power of collective action.

Being framed for a crime they didn't commit: Characters who are framed for a crime they didn't commit can face wrongful accusation, a loss of trust, and the pursuit of justice. It allows for exploration of themes of innocence, perseverance, and the search for truth.

These misfortunes can be used individually or combined to create layered and complex narratives where characters face adversity, overcome challenges, and ultimately find strength and growth through their experiences. Remember to balance the misfortunes with moments of resilience, hope, and eventual triumph to create a compelling narrative.

If you want to read more posts about writing, please click here and give me a follow!

[leahkentwriter]

Backstories for girls and women in stories that *don't* involve sexual assault.

I beta read a lot, and am involved in writing communities of various kinds, and I briefly taught English way back in the day, and I consume storytelling media in general - and one of my biggest pet peeves is sexual assault backstories. While I think this is improving, it's still annoying to me that a lot of writers (of all genders, but particularly men) fall back on a sexual assault backstory whenever they need to make a girl or woman in a story complicated or haunted or fucked up in some way.

Unless your story is dealing with the topic of sexual assault in some way, please don't use it as a way to give a character depth or angst.

Here are some prompts, just to get you started with some ideas.

Why would a woman be trying to escape her past? Why would she be seeking a fresh start?

She hated her small town; the people there didn't understand her and she never felt like she fit in - she's queer, she has a weird birthmark, she's got unique interests, she has magical powers, etc.

She's a criminal - she robbed banks or stole cars and she wanted a fresh start

She was an addict and hurt people, and she wants a fresh start now that she's sober

Her parent is a criminal or an addict and she's trying to outrun the stigma of being related to them

She didn't get along with a stepparent and skipped town as soon as she turned 18

She had big dreams of being something else, and left to pursue them

Her childhood home was haunted, but no one believed her

She got married young then divorced, and wants to start over somewhere that no one knows her

Heartbreak of any variety - she's leaving a place that reminds her too much of someone she lost or couldn't have

She wants better; maybe more money, or a career, or simply a higher quality of life

Some other violent tragedy occurred - a school shooting, an explosion at the plant, police brutality, her best friend was killed, etc.

Her hometown no longer exists (climate change, the main factory shut down, it was overrun by rabid squirrels, etc.)

What would make a woman distrustful of others?

Heartbreak; being lied to, cheated on, left for her best friend, etc.

A big betrayal - her former best friend told everyone a secret about her, someone weaponized her trauma or her past or a major flaw she's sensitive about, etc.

She witnessed a traumatizing event as a child

Her mother was a grifter and used her as part of her scams

One parent cheated on the other and broke up the family

Her older brother isn't dead after all, he was disowned for being gay and now she's questioning everything her parents ever told her

She has problems with her memory, and is never quite sure what the truth is

She's bad at reading people and has been taken advantage of

She finds out a dark secret about someone she loves and is having trouble processing it

She gradually comes to see that someone she idealized as a child is not at all what they seem

Someone she thought was a good, kind, and genuine person is arrested for a terrible crime

Spiritual abuse - the worldview she was taught was right turns out to be exploitative, represses women, etc., so she leaves

What would cause a woman to have mental health issues?

Any form of abuse - doesn't have to be sexual

Her parents had really high expectations that she couldn't live up to

It simply runs in the family

Survivor's guilt - she survived something that someone else did not

She was bullied and no one protected her

Her parents were very controlling and destroyed her confidence

Her sibling was the golden child and she was the scapegoat

She's had issues since childhood but her parents refused to admit there was anything wrong with her, so she didn't get help

Being a part of any oppressed group of people who experience discrimination - she's a person of color, she's an immigrant, she's got a disability, she's queer, etc.

Any major trauma, either witnessed or being a part of - weather events and natural disasters, infrastructure collapse, crashes and accidents, fires, a shooting or a murder, etc.

You're a writer - get creative. There are lots of ways to traumatize and haunt a girl/woman character without having to resort to a sexual assault backstory. You can even make her the problem! Maybe she's the one who did something bad and is trying to outrun the guilt.

Let's also let go of the idea that it's meeting and falling in love with a man that saves her from her trauma. Let her have a healing arc that doesn't involve a man - a love story can still be there, but it can't be the magic healing balm that fixes her. Make her have to save herself. Give her autonomy to both make her own mistakes, and improve her own situation. Don't let your man go into savior mode - let him get frustrated with her. Let her push him away without him clinging to her in a desperate bid to show her what unconditional love is. Don't let him be a martyr to her trauma.

Women are complicated for many reasons. We have trauma for many reasons. We have mental health issues for many reasons. We may want to escape our past for many reasons. We're angsty and weird for many reasons.

Please pick literally anything other than sexual assault.

[green-tea-in-absinthe-bottle]

AVENTURINE NSFW ALPHABET

(+18 content under cut)

General masterlist

Aftercare

Gets overstimulated during sex and can't stand being vulnerable and naked for long after it (he is traumatised, ok?), so he won't cling to you naked for hours. Instead he prefers to take a quick shower with you, follow expensive skincare routine (yes, he shares his products with you) and sleep together with just your hands touching. If you let go of his hand in your sleep he will wake up immediately and reach out for you. You have matching pyjamas.

If you are too tired for any of this he will put a blanket over you and bring his cats so you can cuddle them while he sits on the bed next to you and whispers sweet nothings, playing with your hair. If you ask him to read a book to you he will do so happily, he didn't get many chances to read in captivity. If you share your favourite books with him he will be over the moon and your connection will be so much deeper.

Body part

His body is full of painful reminders of his past. Scars litter his beautiful skin, marks from cuffs covered with his bracelets and watch, teeth he had to replace after years on not being able to take care of them and this stigma burned into his neck. He has a hard time looking at himself in the mirror. His eyes are both all he has left of his people and the excuse for others to hurt him, like a bullseye pointing out his origin and shit he went through. His left hand a sacred part of his body and reminder of a blessing he can barely take, life poisoned with survivors guilt.

Still, his hands are the most favourite part of his body for Aventurine, he decorates them with rings, bracelets and good quality gloves. At first he avoids touching you with his left hand and with bare hands, but if you give him some time this will change.

In your body he likes your curves and your hands as well. He was raised in harsh conditions, it was hard for anybody to gain weight, so for him it's a sign of health. It doesn't matter if you are chubby, muscular or just an average looking person, as long as you look nourished and in good health he will like it. If you have any of those: tendency to blush, thick hips or thigh, voluminous and strong hair, prominent breasts / muscular chest, strong build or exceptional height - he will get obsessed with it.

He loves your hands for how gentle you are with them when you touch him. Has a thing for artists hands, if you sculpt, draw or even crochet he loves to watch you work.

Cum

If you are fertile and able to bear a child he's scared of knocking you up because of how much prejudice he goes through, afraid that his children will be treated in the same way. So he makes sure to end either on your body or inside condom. If you are infertile/ unable to bear a kid he actually prefers to cum inside to not make a mess.

Dirty secret

Before becoming a dominant (more about it in kinks part) he wanted to experience how it is to be on the other side of dynamic to see why people submit. The only person he trusted enough with this was dr. Ratio. While being a sub is not something that comes easy to Aventurine due to his trauma and need to be in control for once in his life, he learned a lot about himself and didn't hate the experience. It made him a much better dom and helped him open sexually.

Another dirty secret of his is cumming in his pants during foreplay when he let you lick your slick from his fingers after fingering and you kissed his aventurine ring.

Experience

In times of his tragic youth he saw a lot of abuse in captivity, including sexual abuse. Most of those things he only witnessed but as a beautiful person from disadvantaged background he experienced a lot of disgusting behaviors and comments towards himself as well.

Once he became Aventurine he used seduction to manipulate people but his memories of people who fetishised his helplessnes made him rather closed off so it was all talk and nothing more. He doesn't want anybody to see him naked and weak, desperate and not guarded. So he avoided getting close to people, with exception of Doctor Ratio with whom he found deep mutual understanding and enough common respect to let another human touch him.

To sum up, he doesn't have much of an experience and doubts intentions of anybody who lusts over him. Also your boyfriend kinda has a boyfriend too. It's just my headcannon, don't cancel me.

Fav position

At first he used to put you in positions that made it impossible for you to see his face such as prone bone or doggy. He couldn't stand the thought of somebody watching him lose control and give in to pleasure. Later he introduced more positions, you need to let him do that in his own tempo. Including blindfold in your sex life helped with it a lot once, now he just allows you to see him come undone.

Goofy

Might seem playful before you guys start and during foreplay, but once you guys actually get down to business he is fully concentrated and serious.

Hair

Like his whole body, it's perfectly taken care of. He prefers to keep it either short or completely shaved off.

Intimacy

At first he avoided intimacy at all costs, he used to bind your wrists above your head so you can't touch him cause after years of being deprived of closeness he was so touch starved that sensation of your skin on his overstimulated him in seconds so he fucked you with all his clothes on - just letting his pants slide down.

With time he allows you much more, enjoying your tender caresses over his body, but he will never fully let go of his guard and needs to be in control to be able to concentrate on pleasure.

Jerk off

Despite having lots of pent up tension he does that very rarely, usually he's just too tired after working so hard or he falls asleep while working late. When he has some time for himself he prefers to call you for help instead of doing it on his own, it's more fun like that and he doesn't have to be alone with his own thoughts after he finishes.

If he masturbates it's very quick and almost mechanical, imagines you giving him a blowjob under his desk to get off faster.

Kink

Aventurine always needs to have complete control over situation as a result of his trauma. He is a 100% dominant. At least with you. Can't stand being vulnerable and unable to decide what is happening to him to a full degree. So he will use soft bondage on you, tying your hands with pretty cords (never with cuffs or anything that could hurt you or bring him bad memories) so you can't touch him unless he allows you to (he doesn't want you to know he's so touch-starved that being touched almost hurts), he will put blindfold on you to control how much of his desperation and desire for you you can see and will make you beg for his touch so you know just how helpless you are compared to him. So you know who is in charge. Years of his captors putting him down planted insecurities in his brain and hearing you pray for his touch is helping him deal with his fear of rejection.

If you decide to worship his body later in relationship when he trusts you enough to give you freedom of movement, he shakes with pleasure. He loves when you are soft with him, because for so long nobody was. Roughness he can take, he is used to that, but this? Your gentle hands make him weak but he won't ever admit that to you.

Has a thing for expensive lingerie that he will himself choose and buy before the evening. He likes finer things in life now that he can afford them and he will make sure you can enjoy them as well. He's the type to buy you diamond necklace and ask you to wait for him with only the necklace on.

He would also want you to dress as a catgirl if you don't find it cringe. He just loves to surroundings himself with adorable things. When you cosplay a cute pet he also feels more in control, cause kittens are weaker than man and at his mercy, meant to be loved by him. He doesn't mean it in creepy way, it's just a display of harmlessness and trust to him.

Location

He might tease you a lot at the casino but will never undress himself or you anywhere else than his apartment.

Motivation

He hates to be alone, Aventurine is very touch starved and lonely person, with almost nobody to trust in this world full of people hating him for being Avgin or trying to undermine his career to take his place. Having sex is the way to get close to somebody without having to bare your soul to them, even if having somebody take a look on his body littered with scars is pretty close to it. He desires your body but still invites you over cause he wants to have some company, sex is just the excuse. If it makes you attached to him, that's even better.

No

Would never be submissive. He is unable to let go of his defenses, needs full control and you are happy to give it to him after he had control over his life taken away for so long.

He gets flashbacks at sight of any chains and cuffs so he won't use them on you, he strictly uses soft and harmless tools for bondage like silk cords.

Won't cause you any pain or force you to do anything, he saw enough of that in his life. He won't do things that in his opinion are a bit to close to abuse or aggressive, he won't even spank you too much or too hard.

Isn't a big fan of marking you with bruises tho he sometimes leaves a hickey or two. Prefers to do so with jewelry.

Don't you even dare to call him Master in the bedroom. Brings bad memories.

He won't let you decide when you introduce new things to bedroom, of course he will respect if you say no to something, but be very careful to not suggest too many new things or he will get distant. He's not half as open as his flirting suggests and really needs time to get used to changes.

Oral

Likes when you give it to him and prove that you care about his pleasure too. He will be in complete control of your pace the whole time. He won't go rough, wants you to enjoy as well. Likes when you worship it, kiss all over the length and take it between your breasts. He wants you on your knees.

He is fair person so he will return the favor times three, but you need to earn it first. He is very willing to show you just what can this silver tongue do, french kissing you down there with fervor.

Pace

Aventurine feels empty inside and tries to feel that void with intense thrills, by playing high-risk games and living fast. So when he fucks he tries to make it hard and fast, but makes it up to you by getting you off faster than anybody else before.

When it's you taking care of him he wants you to take it slow, he doesn't want to lose control over himself completely. You are supposed to be gentle and treat him like royalty.

Quickie

Not a big fan, whatever he does he is always going all the way in. With this all or nothing mentality he despises half-assing his job as your lover. So if he calls for you expect to be up all night.

Risk

Absolutely will not take any risk. While he might gamble with his life on daily basis and is very used to risking everything, he will not bring that persona to bed. He doesn't want to be seen naked by anybody but his most trusted people. He won't show his scars to just anybody so don't even suggest doing anything in public.

Stamina

He has tendency to overdo things and it doesn't get any different in bed. How many rounds can he last? He's already used to pulling all-nighters in work, might as well sacrifice whole night of sleep for your entertainment. How many times can he make you cum before he gets anywhere close to his own release? At least twice.

Toys

Will buy you a good toy to have fun with when he's busy. Of course, it's shape is entirely based on Aventurine's own member. He commisioned it just for you.

Unfair

He can tease you a lot to parade his control over you, make you admit nobody can do you like he can and edge you many times, but he will never humiliate.

Expect him to make you count a pile of coins, not letting you cum the whole time until you are done. All while sitting on his dick.

Volume

Aventurine is not comfortable with you being aware just how desperate you made him so unless he tries to manipulate you with his moan to forgive him or cum instantly he will be rather silent. He's good at that. To let you know you are doing well he praises you with his words.

The only exception is when you worship his body, than he releases quiet but beautiful and slightly high pitched moans.

Wild card

Due to his innate high emotional intelligence, if he dominates you for a long time he learns your body language and expressions in such detailed way you might think he can read your mind. He knows just how to touch you and has perfect timing for everything. Once you had Aventurine no other man will be good enough.

X-Ray

Average size and thickness, but when he rails you it feels much bigger. Nice deep pink color. Curved with not much bigger tip.

Yearning

Would probably be higher if his job didn't tire him out so much. Expect him to invite you for the night around one or two times a week.

Zzz

Keeps an eye on you all the time and will not fall asleep until you do. Nothing against you, just an old habit. Don't get creeped out. If you point it out your chances of returning to his place go down significantly.

When he isn't alone at night he will have nightmares less often, your company brings him tranquility. If you notice him having nightmare don't wake him up or he will get PTSD response, trying to fight you before noticing it's you who startled him. If he gets scared that he can hurt you he will cut you off.

Aventurine's face if you try to steal his catcakes:

[purpleweredragon]

Screenshot of a thread of 2 tweets by "Actually Autistic Educator" which read:

"Woman I met was worried that after ABA was paused her son wwas getting "worse" because he was excitedly stimming and talking more about his interests and I'm like...he's happier now and you want him to be more withdrawn so it looks "normal"? No appreciation of autistic joy!"

"This is what happens when we push the deficit model, happy autistics expressing themselves are viewed as worse than traumatized ones who have withdrawn, an "treatment" are picked accordingly. This is why we need to let #ActuallyAutistic folks define what makes good outcomes!"

End ID]

[sonnyinthesky]

Shout out to people who can't have kids. Not because theyre infertile or otherwise physically incapable of making a child, but those who cant have kids because they couldnt take care of them in the way they deserve.

To disabled people who would be unable to care for a child due to their disability

To mentally ill people who would be unable to care for a child due to their mental health

To violent people who wouldn't be able to stop themselves being violent towards their child

To autistic people whos meltdowns would stop them looking after a child / would make them violent to their child

To addicts who wouldn't be able to look after a child because of their addiction/the consequences of their addiction

To intellectually disabled people who wouldnt know how to look after a child safely and would not be able to learn

To those that require so much care themselves that they could not care for another

To those with mood swings who may lash out at a child and can't raise children because of that

To people with their own childhood trauma who fear their own trauma would cause them to not raise a child safely

To people with childhood trauma that feel having a child would turn them into their abuser

Theres too much stigma around those of us who cant/shouldnt raise kids. Theres nothing inherently bad about not being a safe person to raise children. It's also okay to want kids even if you know you couldn't raise them! It's okay to be sad about it. You are seen and heard and deserve the comfort and support you need.

[theflashjaygarrick]

It's a missed opportunity that despite Roy Harper and Jason Todd hanging out now there's been never any tension between about them or exploration of their differing approaches and perspectives on the drug crisis. Particularly because for both of them it is deeply personal.

Roy Harper.

Roy became addicted to drugs in the 1971 comic Snowbirds Don't Fly which was Neil Adam’s and Dennis O'neill's attempt to tackle the "youth's greatest problem!" drug use and addiction. I feel like all most people know is that Speedy took drugs and Ollie took it badly, but that honestly ignores the whole point of the story. The story challenged contextual stigma around addiction and drug use as a personal failing or something that only happened to weak people. It explored how it could happen to anyone, even a hero like Speedy. It focused on the social factors such as racism and poverty and how they push people into substance abuse as a way to cope. It even turns the trope of the evil foreign drug cartel on its head by making the guy behind the drug supply a wealthy white American man in who runs a Pharmaceutical company, doesn't do drugs, and actively mocks the people he profits off the suffering of.

The point therefore is twofold. Firstly, drug users are people just like you and me and it is vital to be compassionate to people struggling with addiction. Ollie who yells at and hits Roy and leaves him due to anger and fear is clearly in the wrong. Hal and Dinah who look after Roy and stand beside him at his friend's funeral and as he confronts Ollie are clearly in the right. Secondly, the solution is not to focus on the drugs but instead to deal with the systemic problems of inequality, oppression, trauma and disenfranchised youth.

Despite parts of it ageing bad (the use of slurs was to demonstrate the damage of racism, but I feel uncomfortable having slurs uncensored in a comic book written by white authors) it is a surprisingly progressive take on addiction for a mainstream 70s DC comic. It also clearly demonstrates Roy's opinion on the drug problem and how to deal with it. He sees anger and going after dealers/manufacturers (like Ollie did) to not be enough. Instead the real change comes from helping the people in that situation by improving their lives and compassionately helping them at their worst.

Enter Jason Todd.

For context Jason Todd has had almost his entire life shaped by trauma of substance abuse. His (adoptive) mother Catherine struggled with addiction and overdosed just months before he met Batman, effectively orphaning him. Soon after he was found by Batman who essentially drafted him into his crusade on crime, not considering that being a vigilante may be potentially damaging for an already traumatised child.

But when he came back in UTRH he decided he could best help Gotham if he killed (largely non-costumed) criminals and controlled the city's criminal underworld himself. After violently assuming control of the drug trade, Jason imposed his own rules for dealers, most famously that he would kill anyone who sold drugs to children or near schools. Later while incarcerated Jason Todd killed 82 Blackgate inmates (and harmed over a hundred) by poisoning the prison food. This mass murder was intrinsically indiscriminate and due to the US prison system it is reasonable to assume people charged with drug offences were included in the death count.

Jason does have deep childhood trauma associated with addiction and drug use and wants to help prevent suffering. That being said, his approach treats drugs as a criminal problem to be eradicated or controlled, not just a symptom of deeper social issues. He kills people who sell drugs to kids, rather than helping building a support system so kids aren't pushed into abusing substances to cope and people don't have to deal to survive.

What does this mean?

Scott Lobdell got details of Roy's addiction wrong and distorted him into a reckless idiot who has been ostracised from the community. But if it was done right their interaction and opposing perspectives/experiences could be really interesting. Both hate drugs and the drug trade, but the way they conceptualise this hatred differs significantly.

Roy focuses on helping the individual and addressing deeper social problems, seeing drugs as a devastating but ultimately symptomatic. Jason sees drug use as first and foremost a criminal issue, with true benefits being achieved through controlling the criminal underworld.

Roy's priority is therefore supporting people struggling with addiction and showing compassion for their situation. Jason doesn't really focus on ways to help the individuals suffering from addiction, as much as mitigating the overall harm and fitting the drug trade into parameters he views as acceptable.

I think it would add needed complexity to their relationship (and to Jason's redemption if we're going that route) as well as dealing with the more 'war-on-drug' elements of UTRH. Also it would help Roy stand on his own as a strong, articulate leader with a dark past rather than being (at least for a while) reduced to essentially Jason's sidekick.

[she-is-ovarit]

By EDITH M. LEDERER Updated 9:11 PM PST, March 8, 2024 UNITED NATIONS (AP) — Legal equality for women could take centuries as the fight for gender equality is becoming an uphill struggle against widespread discrimination and gross human human rights abuses, the United Nations chief said on International Women’s Day. Secretary-General Antonio Guterres told a packed U.N. commemoration Friday that “a global backlash against women’s rights is threatening, and in some cases reversing, progress in developing and developed countries alike.” The most egregious example is in Afghanistan, he said, where the ruling Taliban have barred girls from education beyond sixth grade, from employment outside the home, and from most public spaces, including parks and hair salons. At the current rate of change, legal equality for women could take 300 years to achieve and so could ending child marriage, he said. Guterres pointed to “a persistent epidemic of gender-based violence,” a gender pay gap of at least 20%, and the underrepresentation of women in politics. He cited September’s annual gathering of world leaders at the U.N. General Assembly, where just 12% of the speakers were women. “And the global crises we face are hitting women and girls hardest — from poverty and hunger to climate disasters, war and terror,” the secretary-general said. In the past year, Guterres said, there have been testimonies of rape and trafficking in Sudan, and in Gaza women women and children account for a majority of the more than 30,000 Palestinians reported killed in the Israeli-Hamas conflict, according to the Gaza Ministry of Health. He cited a report Monday by the U.N. envoy focusing on sexual violence in conflict that concluded there are “reasonable grounds” to believe Hamas committed rape, “sexualized torture” and other cruel and inhumane treatment of women during its surprise attack in southern Israel on Oct. 7. He also pointed to reports of sexual violence against Palestinians detained by Israel. International Women’s Day grew out of labor movements in North America and across Europe at the turn of the 20th century and was officially recognized by the United Nations in 1977. This year’s theme is investing in women and girls to accelerate progress toward equality. Roza Otunbayeva, the head of the U.N. political mission in Afghanistan, told the Security Council on Wednesday that what is happening in that country “is precisely the opposite” of investing in women and girls. There is “a deliberate disinvestment that is both harsh and unsustainable,” she said, saying the Taliban’s crackdown on women and girls has caused “immense harm to mental and physical health, and livelihoods.” Recent detentions of women and girls for alleged violations of the Islamic dress code “were a further violation of human rights, and carry enormous stigma for women and girls,” she said. It has had “a chilling effect among the wider female population, many of whom are now afraid to move in public,” she said. Otunbayeva again called on the Taliban to reverse the restrictions, warning that the longer they remain, “the more damage will be done.” Sima Bahous, the head of UN Women, the agency promoting gender equality and women’s rights, told the commemoration that International Women’s Day “sees a world hobbled by confrontation, fragmentation, fear and most of all inequality.” “Poverty has a female face,” she said. “One in every 10 women in the world lives in extreme poverty.” Men not only dominate the halls of power but they “own $105 trillion more wealth than women,” she said. Bahous said well-resourced and powerful opponents of gender equality are pushing back against progress. The opposition is being fueled by anti-gender movements, foes of democracy, restricted civic space and “a breakdown of trust between people and state, and regressive policies and legislation,” she said. [Click on the link to continue reading]

[spookyxsam]

Unintentionally.

You can’t do better if you aren’t better and don’t know better.

If you know better? Then fuck you 🖕🏼

Do better.

[justawritterwithideas]

Boy Wonder and the Rockstar | s.r

✩ next part ✩

summary: Spencer and Y/N meet in college after a book search, creating a friendship where opposites attract. But Spencer has to move across the country to pursue his happiness and completely loses contact with Y/N. What if fate decides it's time to meet after 15 years and with a crazy stalker in between? Spencer won't lose to fate again and will do anything in his power to protect Y/N.

warnings: mentions of death, alcohol, drugs, strong vocabulary, as well as talk of heartbreak, disappointment and arguments. It also contains content regarding CM season 13, so it clearly contains spoilers. this is a spencer reid x famous!reader story.

this will be a small series of chapters so here are the general precautions of the series, each chapter will have its own precautions. !!!

words: 3,909 words.

a/n: hey! here alme with a little series i've been planning for a couple of weeks now. as you may know, i've been talking about the spencer reid x famous!reader relationship but as hayley williams, so i decided to set myself the challenge and write a little series called "boy wonder and the rockstar", so i hope you like it. i haven't planned how many chapters it will have yet but i don't want to make it too long, and also patience with each chapter. so, I don't want to make it longer and I'll leave you the first chapter. thank you. ♡

𝟎.𝟏: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐲.

Spencer always lived under the stigma of being a child genius. His I.Q. was 187, he could read 20,000 words per minute and had an eidetic memory.

Everyone around him told him what to do, from his mother, to his "friends," to his teachers, to his neighbors.

"Hey Spencer, with that brain of yours you could make it in the government" "Spencer you could be part of NASA" "Spencer you could be a mathematical genius like Einstein!" "Spencer you're going to get into the CIA!"

"And where are you going to go to college? Because you know Harvard is already a lock for you" "I bet you'll go to YALE, that's where all the smart ones go" "Princeton is an excellent choice for you!" "MIT could open a lot of doors for you"

Spencer this, Spencer that.

But no one really thought about what Spencer wanted. Maybe he wanted to be a magician and make children happy with his tricks. Maybe he wanted to be a trapeze artist, or a fireman, or an astronaut, or just an ice cream man.

All these expectations of Spencer reached a point where he didn't even know what he wanted in life. He lived under the shadow of the expectations and visions people had placed on him, and he didn't want to let them down. He was just a kid, a kid scared of adult life who had to impose himself because others imposed it on him.

That's how his brain made him skip grades, have to enter high school at age 12, and have to suffer a lot of abuse from the grown-ups for just being a boy genius.

Spencer sometimes wished he could make his brain disappear and have a normal one. Then he could have normal friends, go to a normal school, have a relationship, experience the problems people his age have, and be able to feel the phases of adolescence like any other kid.

But things were not like that.

He had to live the life he had been dealt, with his genius brain and the damn adult problems at 13.

CalTech was a new life he had to accept, but it wasn't as bad as the one he had before. His mind was kept busy for a long period.

He was forced to grow up around books full of equations, chemical elements and mathematical problems, managing at 16 to get his first college degree, which was Mathematics, and the following year to get a PhD in it. But he did not dislike this.

But as they say it is never enough, he kept on studying until he was 21. Thanks to this, he became a doctor of two more degrees, Chemistry and Engineering, in addition to Psychology, Sociology and Criminology.

His social life at the university was not so hectic, in fact, he only stood out for the fact that he was a boy genius, and that was it. To other people, he was a person like any other.

Until one autumn day, in the middle of his 19 years and studying psychology, his paths were interrupted by crossing that of others, and that, probably, is the person who changed his life the last years of college.

It was an ordinary day in the university library. Spencer had been rereading an encyclopedia of human anatomy for two hours. Why you may wonder, well, it was his way of killing time during his free time.

Acquiring knowledge was the best way to keep his brain fed and occupied, according to the boy.

He had eaten his sandwich a couple of minutes ago and let his brain feed on information at that moment, trying to persuade his intrusive thoughts at that minute. Through the pages you could see the muscular system, focusing on the leg and foot areas.

To be honest, it looked quite interesting.

That day, leaves were beginning to fall from the trees, filling the ground with their autumn colors; there was a gentle cool breeze, a strong smell of wet dirt and people were crowded in the warmer areas of the campus. It was no surprise to anyone that the library was one of the most crowded areas, the vast majority of people were gathered around the tables as large college texts lay open on them.

Spencer was sure he had seen more than one student curse at the fact that they couldn't find what they were looking for, and then walk out of the room in exhaustion. It wasn't the first time someone had cursed his name because they found themselves reading the text they were looking for and, besides, they weren't able to approach and ask for it.

He could believe it was cowardly on their part, maybe they were too shy to be able to do it or it was an excuse to put off studying what they were looking for. Even though he considered that the The study methods they had were not very good and, if they started studying earlier, they could increase their grad-

"Excuse me."

A voice interrupted the conversation Spencer was having with himself, pushing away his intrusive thoughts that were beginning to take over his mind. The young man's head turned and he saw a girl, perhaps his age, staring at the encyclopedia in front of him.

"I asked Miss Wellington about the Rouviére and Delmas encyclopedia of human anatomy, and well..." The girl looked over Spencer's shoulder. "She told me that maybe the boy sitting at the back table had it. There are no other tables in the back and you're the only guy sitting here, so I think my deduction is correct and you have it."

"Y-yes, this is the encyclopedia you're looking for." Spencer admitted, looking at the young woman.

More than looking at her, he was admiring her. She was wearing a red skirt and hoodie with some embroidered words on it, her legs were also wearing dark leggings and some rather damaged black converses, over it she was carrying another coat and a backpack; her arms were loaded with medical and anatomy books, plus her hair was disheveled.

"Great! Must be my lucky day that a cute guy has it." Her books fell onto the table and she sat down next to Spencer.

The boy could smell the scent of tobacco and mint mixed with the scent of cherry perfume.

"May I see?" Spencer turned to look at her and, even though he was reading that book first, his head nodded. "Fine! I just want to see..." The sound of the leaves was rapid, as if a fan was moving them. "This... Nervous system."

Suddenly, and as if by magic, a notebook appeared in front of them both and quickly the girl was beginning to write on the blank sheets, even though to Spencer it looked more like a scribble than a resume as such.

"Shit, what is this?" the girl paused to read more closely. "In the central axon, the electrical signal is converted into a chemical signal, and then releases the chemical signal with chemical messengers called neur-neurotransmitters." The sound of the pencil falling on the table made the boy startle.

"Nervous system?"

"That's right, I have a lecture in three days and I'm still trying to associate concepts in the nervous system. Like my nervous system isn't nervous anymore."

Spencer chuckled to himself, the girl had a funny sense of humor.

"In fact, when the brain interprets that we are in danger, it produces a rush of adrenaline that activates the heart and muscles to place them on alert, but if prolonged, it can lead to health problems such as cardiovascular disease like heart attack and is associated with hypertension and arrhythmias and is the enhancer of other cardiovascular risk factors." Spencer turned to look at the girl, who looked quite interested in what he was saying, jotting everything down in her notebook. "But it's not that your nervous system is 'nervous', it's that it interprets that it's in danger and so it sends that kind of stimulus to your body that makes you anxious."

"I see you know about the nervous system, much more than I do." The girl scanned him from head to toe. "Are you a medical student?"

"No, CalTech doesn't have a medical degree, but I am a doctor." The boy admitted.

"How old are you?"

"Nineteen."

"Shit, and you already have a doctorate?"

"Actually I have three."

Silence stretched between the two, caused by the woman's shock.

"Are you some kind of alien or is your brain too big that it stores more information than I can retain?"

"Well, I have an IQ of 187 so I can read 20,000 words per minute, plus I have eidetic memory. But I prefer the concept of being more advanced than others."

The girl stared at him.

But to his surprise, the young woman only let out a giggle.

"You're funny, I like it." No one had ever told Spencer that he was funny. In fact, he thought that adjective didn't directly relate to him. "I'm Y/N, Y/N L/N."

"Spencer...Spencer Reid." Y/N denied.

"No, you're not Spencer."

"Excuse me?"

"You're Dr. Spencer Reid." Spencer smiled, she was right. "Well, it's nice to meet you, dr. Reid."

"Nice to meet you, Miss L/N." They both smiled.

"Well, now that I know your name, dr. Reid, we can start our friendship."

Spencer never thought making friends was so easy, even though he knew it was because the girl had gone to the trouble of calling herself his "friend," without even knowing him.

But that didn't bother him, in fact, he found it nice that someone had decided to be his friend.

Overnight, Spencer's evenings began to become more colorful, smelling of tobacco and mint, and filled with questions from Y/N, his new friend.

Although, at first, Spencer didn't seem comfortable around the girl, he quickly got used to it. He had learned several things about Y/N over the days, such as that she was a medical student at Pasadena City College, a college a couple of blocks from CalTech; she was the youngest in the family and had an older brother who had been diagnosed with leukemia a couple of years ago.

He had also learned that she was very into fashion, lived in an apartment complex nearby, smoked a couple of years ago, and only liked menthol tobacco cigarettes. Her favorite color was orange, but she didn't think it looked good on her, and she didn't see herself going to medical school, but she wanted to be a singer.

The first time Spencer heard Y/N sing was during a kermes in Pasadena City, she had been invited to sing on behalf of the medical school. Spencer never liked the idea of being around so many people, let alone at a kermes which was as unsanitary as possible, but his new "best friend" had begged him to go.

He couldn't say no.

He remembered perfectly how her hands shook with nerves, how she bit her lip as she cleared her throat and watched her bandmates, aka Y/N's other friends, rehearse with their instruments.

He knew she had practiced for this moment a bunch of times, had more than once arrived at Spencer's dorm wet from head to toe from running in the rain after a rehearsal, and hummed the songs under her breath every time they studied together in the library.

She was more than ready, but her own fears sometimes made her afraid of her talent.

Reid's eyes were on her, smiling confidently to convey that feeling as a guitar began to play the first chords, and announced the start of her performance.

Spencer didn't know what song it was, he wasn't even sure if the song was to his taste, but when he heard Y/N's voice he knew it had become his favorite song.

“Her name is Noelle

I have a dream about her, she rings my bell

I got gym class in half an hour

And, oh, how she rocks

In Keds and tube socks

But she doesn't know who I am

And she doesn't give a damn about me”

Their gaze was on each other, as if they were the only ones in that large space. The few times the eye contact was broken was when Y/N closed her eyes.

The song ended successfully and an avalanche of applause greeted Y/N, who thanked the audience for their attention. Soon another band filled the stage and for a few seconds, Spencer lost sight of Y/N. He wanted to tell her how great she had turned out, how all her effort and practice had made everything come out perfectly and that she looked like a total rockstar on stage.

"Spence! How was it, did you like it?" Y/N hugged the boy's arm, who turned to look at her with a sweet smile on his face.

"It was amazing, Y/N. Everyone loved it." Affirmed the boy.

"I was so nervous, I was so afraid it wouldn't go well, but I saw you there, and I felt like I could do it. You're my lucky charm, Spencie."

Spencer felt something jump in his chest.

"Let's get something to eat, I'm dying for some corn-dogs." Said the opposite.

"Y-yeah, let's get something to eat, my treat."

The day Spencer was accepted into the FBI academy was probably the most bittersweet day of his entire life.

At 22 years old, and in the middle of finishing his college semester for what felt like the fifth time, a letter arrived in his dorm room.

A letter of acceptance.

He could feel that all his hard work had been rewarded by whoever was up there. He quickly put on his sneakers and ran a marathon to the medical building at Pasadena City College.

His best friend's short red hair he could quickly visualize as he saw her smoking by the entrance, she seemed to be listening to something on her MP4 and bobbing her head to the beat of-who-knows-what song.

"Y/N! Y/N!" Spencer's voice sounded agitated, trying to get her best friend's attention.

The, now, redhead removed her earpiece and turned to see the tall boy running towards her.

"Spence?" From her mouth came the tobacco smoke, causing her to let the cigarette burn between her fingers.

"I made it, I got into the academy!"

The two big hazel eyes made contact with those of the girl, who dropped the cigarette to the sidewalk and hugged her friend tightly.

"I can't believe it, Spence! You did it! You did it! My goodness, I couldn't be prouder!" The younger girl began to do some jumping jacks as she didn't let go of her grip on his embrace.

"Thank you, Y/N. I couldn't have done it without you, you were the one who stuck with me through this whole process."

"You don't have to thank me, dorkie. I knew you'd make it, they couldn't leave out a genius like you." Soon they both disengaged from the embrace and the girl looked at the boy's face. "W-where is the academy? Tell me."

"I don't know, I-I didn't fully read the letter." He admitted embarrassed.

"Then read it! Go on." The girl took him by the arm and forced him to sit down on the faculty stairs.

Slowly, Spencer began to read the letter while Y/N listened intently to every word.

"The course begins on September 23rd of the current year in..." A pause.

Y/N looked at Spencer, who had stopped reading the letter.

"Where, Spence, what does it say?"

"The course begins September 23rd of the current year in Quantico, Virginia."

Y/N felt like a bucket of cold water had just been dropped on her.

Quantico? That was on the other side of the country!

"Q-quantico? Spence, that's on the other side of the-"

"Country, I know Y/N. I-I... I can't do it, I can't."

"What the fuck are you talking about!" The girl stood up startled, looking accusingly at her best friend. "No, I refuse. You have to do it, it's your dream, Spence! What you've always wanted for the last three years that I've known you, I refuse to let you back down now, I won't allow it!"

Spencer looked up from the letter, watching Y/N who was looking at him with her face burning with anger.

"You know I can't do that, what's going to happen to my mom? You know what's going on with her and her schizophrenia, I can't leave her alone."

"She would want you to go, Spence. Her happiness is where yours is, you know she'll be able to do it, there are plenty of options to help her." A long silence settled between the two of them.

Spencer didn't want to leave California, he didn't want to leave his mother or Y/N, he couldn't.

"Spencer Reid, I know what you're thinking right now, but I won't let you let this opportunity pass you by. You have dreamed of this exact moment for years, for as long as I have known you you have always wanted to go to the academy and you have done everything in your power to do so. Now they are offering it to you on a silver platter, you have to do it, there is nothing more you can do here in California. You've already studied all the existing careers in the world, you've already done what anyone in 50 years would have done and at your short 22 years you're already a doctor of three careers." The girl settled back down beside him, letting her icy hand wrap around Spencer's warm one. "You can't just limit yourself to staying here just because you have an engagement, the world has to know who Dr. Spencer Reid is like I know him, you have to go."

Spencer drew an elongated smile, feeling his body fill with that feeling of sadness that pervaded him from head to toe.

The redhead's words were true, it was his dream. But he didn't want to leave the only thing that made him happy on the other side of the country, he would love to carry it in his pocket to Virginia and have his dose of serotonin after each day.

He didn't want to stop smelling her tobacco and minty breath, the cherry smell coming off her clothes and the blueberry smell coming off her hair. He wanted to keep seeing the reddish locks of hair on his clothes and the cheesy paper notes in his pockets every time they met. He wanted to keep listening to the music on Y/N's MP4 every time he went to her apartment and drink coffee with lots of sugar that she made for him, keep hearing her voice in the shower and get biology questions at three in the morning every time she had a test.

He wanted to go to thrift stores to try on printed T-shirts and watch Y/N's camera fill up with pictures of the two of them, keep going to her shows with her band and eat frozen pizza after every gig.

He wanted to keep being with her.

But if she was letting him go, then he had to let her go too.

"I think I can go on living without hearing your bad jokes." Spencer's words lifted Y/N's spirits, who gave him a playful smile.

"Hey! My jokes are the best, last time you laughed for two hours."

"Because it was stupid."

They both laughed, letting the tension of the moment go with the last echo of their laughter.

"So you'll go across the country to make me proud?"

"Yes, I'll go make you proud."

Y/N's arms wrapped around Spencer's body, resting her head in the space of his shoulder and chin.

"I'm glad you didn't make a dumb decision."

Staying here with you isn't a dumb decision, Spencer thought.

They both pulled apart.

"Well, screw the skeleton. Let's go to the library and write your answer."

The girl's small hand imprisoned the boy's large hand, guiding him to the library to write what would be Spencer's fate.

The flight from California to Washington was five hours.

Five hours where Spencer and Y/N would be separated, and they would have to accept that fate had something different in store for the two of them.

Despite California being a sunny paradise, that day he wanted to keep the two friends company as they said goodbye at the airport.

"You already know my number, you know you can call me whenever you want." Commented the girl, who was in charge of carrying the book she had given him to read during the trip.

"I'm not such a fan of technology, you know that."

"There are pay phones over there too, Spence. It only costs a couple of cents to call me, plus they must have landlines there, and you have my email." The girl stopped in front of the door that separated goodbyes with new beginnings. "And if not, you can send me a letter. You know my address."

"A letter doesn't sound bad at all, in fact, for centuries, it was one of the most widely used means of communication by human civilizations since man began to write and whose importance transcended nations. The oldest courier service ever found was in Egypt in 2400 B.C. and in 1840, Sir Rowland Hill created the first postage stamp, which was called Penny Black, which was a profile drawing of Queen Victoria of England that had the rate 'One Penny' written on it."

"Oh Spence, I'm going to miss your fun facts about absurdly boring things." Commented the girl before she could hug him.

Spencer felt his heart clench.

"I'll miss you listening to me." They both turned in an embrace so tight it could take all the oxygen out of their bodies.

Neither wanted to be the first to say goodbye, neither was ready to leave the other. Their hearts were bound together like puzzle pieces, and just as when you lose one, the puzzle will no longer be complete.

"Now, you must go, your flight is about to leave." Y/N commented, separating from the young man as she wiped away the small tear that escaped from her eyes. "Miss me a lot, huh? And show off how pretty your best friend is."

"Always. Remember that wherever you are, whatever you do or whoever you're with, you'll always be in my heart."

A pout settled in Y/N's mouth, who felt like she was letting a part of her go with Spencer.

"Don't forget about me, because I will never forget about you." Demanded the girl, who was pushing the boy to go for his flight.

"It's impossible for me to forget you, I have an eidetic memory." He said laughing, waving goodbye as he received the book the girl handed him.

The two met in a final embrace, where Spencer could smell the girl's cherry and menthol tobacco scent for the last time.

"Write me!" Y/N vociferated, waving goodbye to the boy who nodded and disappeared behind the airport doors.

Y/N and Spencer didn't know that at that moment fate would place them on trial, causing their paths to diverge for many years until, magically, they would come together again.

“When two souls are meant to meet, fate brings worlds closer, erases distances, joins paths and defies the impossible.” Anonymous.

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a lot of love, alme. ❀