#Child abuse stigma

[storytellerslense]

JJ Maybank character analysis

How parentification shaped JJ‘s personality

Part 1

Parentified children face multiple challenges. They often experience stigmatization, feeling judged or isolated due to their family dynamics. Additionally, they carry the burden of family secrets, keeping quiet about the true nature of their responsibilities and the issues within their home. These children are forced to grow up too quickly, dealing with adult responsibilities and emotional burdens, which can lead to psychological stress, anxiety, and role confusion. This dual pressure impacts their social development and mental health, often leaving them feeling overwhelmed and unsupported.

Stigmatization

JJ referring to his difficult and abusive home life after taking the fall for Pope. (Season 1, Episode 4)

JJ's behavioral patterns and anxiety caused by the stress of his family life are often misunderstood by others. Additionally, he is viewed by his environment as the son of an irresponsible and criminal father, which likely causes him not only shame but also increases the pressure on him to disprove the negative prejudices.

Stigmatization can also lead to stereotype threat by making individuals acutely aware of negative stereotypes and increasing the pressure to avoid confirming them. This heightened awareness and anxiety can impair performance and behavior, resulting in a self-fulfilling prophecy:

"He's just like his father. He's a liar and a thief." (Kiara's father Mike Carrera, Season 3, Episode 5)

In Season 3, Episode 5, JJ overhears Kiara's father saying, "He's just like his father. He's a liar and a thief", labelling him based on negative stereotypes associated with his family background. The words visibly hurt and demoralize JJ. They also increase JJ's anxiety and pressure to avoid confirming these stereotypes. He notices Kiara's father's wallet and the stress of his comments then triggers the impulsive reaction to steal it before leaving the house.

"You'll be back here one day. It's in your blood." (Deputy Plump, Season 2 Episode 5)

In another scene, Deputy Plumb is in the Sheriff's Department when JJ arrives to see John B. After allowing JJ to see his friend, she intentionally leads him to see his imprisoned father. She tells JJ that he is destined to end up in jail because it's in his blood. Plumb's actions and words reinforce negative stereotypes and social stigma, contributing to his internal conflict and feelings of inadequacy, potentially having a significantly impact on JJ's behavior and self-perception.

Impulsiveness and the tendency to make solo decisions 

Having grown up in a high-stress environment where he frequently had to handle crises on his own, JJ has developed a habit of making quick, decisive actions independently.

Growing up in a stressful environment where he had to manage crises regularly, JJ has learned to make quick, decisive actions without seeking input. This habit translates into JJ often making impulsive decisions and acting alone without considering his friends' opinions. Parentification can lead to a strong desire for control and independence, as the child feels the need to manage everything themselves to ensure stability and safety.

JJ’s need to regain control over his life and situations manifests in making solo decisions, even if they are risky.

In Season 1, Episode 7, JJ gets into a heated argument with his friends about stealing money from Barry. The group votes against it, but JJ, driven by his own determination, decides to go his own way and separates from his friends. Possibly JJ is accustomed to make quick decisions under pressure due to his chaotic home life. In stressful situations, he tends to seek immediate solutions to regain control (over his life) without fully considering the consequences, exemplified by his decision to steal from Barry despite his friends' objections. It's also hard for him to trust their decisions. His separation from the group reflects his believe that he alone must handle crises, disregarding his friends' vote.

[aroacettorney]

if you think about it, the lumensis order is famous for not giving any benefits nor treating kindly towards concubines and children born out of wedlock, so its unlikely that anyone in their right mind would volunteer themselves to become and/or bear one. this actually suggests a much darker implication that they might have been victims of sexual violence (and possibly kidnapping. and even worse, grooming. after all, they did have a history of taking little girls away from their own family) — which makes the lousy tradition of branding their bastard children even more insane. its like screaming at the whole world to let people know that some of their most well-respected members are not only a cheater but also a sexual predator, and the holy church of lumensis is proudly letting them get away with it acting all high and mighty while punishing their innocent victims with death sentences.

[person1243]

Bully?

I don't remember all of them I don't remember all they did I don't remember all their words

But

I remember the hurt I remember the tears I remember the nights I remember the fights

But

I can't ever call them bullies I can't ever tell anyone I was a victim I can't ever try to acknowledge my pain

Because

We were all kids Kids were just playing They were just playing for six years I was overreacting for six years

What do I know rt?

[howlingmoonn]

Shout out to people who can't have kids. Not because theyre infertile or otherwise physically incapable of making a child, but those who cant have kids because they couldnt take care of them in the way they deserve.

To disabled people who would be unable to care for a child due to their disability

To mentally ill people who would be unable to care for a child due to their mental health

To violent people who wouldn't be able to stop themselves being violent towards their child

To autistic people whos meltdowns would stop them looking after a child / would make them violent to their child

To addicts who wouldn't be able to look after a child because of their addiction/the consequences of their addiction

To intellectually disabled people who wouldnt know how to look after a child safely and would not be able to learn

To those that require so much care themselves that they could not care for another

To those with mood swings who may lash out at a child and can't raise children because of that

To people with their own childhood trauma who fear their own trauma would cause them to not raise a child safely

To people with childhood trauma that feel having a child would turn them into their abuser

Theres too much stigma around those of us who cant/shouldnt raise kids. Theres nothing inherently bad about not being a safe person to raise children. It's also okay to want kids even if you know you couldn't raise them! It's okay to be sad about it. You are seen and heard and deserve the comfort and support you need.

[writing-with-sophia]

Common misfortunes for characters

Death of a loved one: This can be a profound and devastating experience for a character, leading to grief, guilt, and a sense of loss. It can also serve as a catalyst for character development and exploration of themes such as mortality, coping with loss, and the fragility of life.

Serious illness or injury: Physical or mental health challenges can test a character's resilience and force them to confront their limitations. It can also provide opportunities for exploring themes of perseverance, the importance of support systems, and the fragility of the human body.

Loss of a job or financial ruin: Financial struggles can lead to desperation, uncertainty, and a loss of identity for a character. It can also present opportunities for growth, reinvention, and exploring themes of resilience, resourcefulness, and the true value of material possessions.

Betrayal by a trusted friend or ally: Betrayal can shatter trust and lead to feelings of anger, betrayal, and a loss of faith in others. It can create complex moral dilemmas for the character and explore themes of loyalty, forgiveness, and the dark side of human nature.

Imprisonment or wrongful accusation: Being imprisoned or falsely accused can lead to feelings of powerlessness, injustice, and a struggle for redemption. It provides opportunities for exploring themes of justice, personal agency, and the lengths one will go to prove their innocence.

Natural disasters: Natural disasters can be catastrophic events that disrupt lives, challenge survival instincts, and test a character's resilience. They can explore themes of human vulnerability, the power of nature, and the strength of community in times of crisis.

War or conflict: War and conflict can have profound impacts on characters, leading to physical and emotional trauma, loss of loved ones, and moral dilemmas. They provide opportunities for exploring themes of heroism, sacrifice, the futility of violence, and the long-lasting effects of war.

Addiction or substance abuse: Characters grappling with addiction or substance abuse can experience a downward spiral, strained relationships, and a loss of control. It allows for exploration of themes such as self-destructive behavior, the road to recovery, and the impact of addiction on oneself and others.

Mental health issues: Characters dealing with mental health issues like depression or anxiety can face internal struggles, isolation, and difficulties in functioning. It provides an opportunity to delve into themes of stigma, self-discovery, and the importance of mental health support.

Loss of a child or miscarriage: The loss of a child or experiencing a miscarriage can be emotionally devastating for characters, leading to grief, guilt, and questioning of one's purpose or identity. It allows for exploration of themes of parental love, coping with loss, and the complexities of grief.

Failed relationships or divorce: Characters going through failed relationships or divorce can experience heartbreak, loneliness, and a sense of failure. It presents an opportunity to explore themes of love, forgiveness, personal growth, and the complexities of human relationships.

Alienation or social isolation: Characters who feel alienated or socially isolated can grapple with feelings of loneliness, rejection, and a sense of not belonging. It allows for exploration of themes of identity, acceptance, and the importance of human connection.

Identity theft or fraud: Characters who fall victim to identity theft or fraud can face financial ruin, loss of reputation, and a struggle to reclaim their identity. It provides opportunities to delve into themes of trust, deception, and the lengths one goes to protect their identity.

Accidental injury or disability: Characters experiencing accidental injury or acquiring a disability can face physical and emotional challenges, adjusting to a new way of life, and overcoming societal barriers. It allows for exploration of themes such as resilience, self-acceptance, and the meaning of true strength.

Loss of a treasured possession or heirloom: Losing a treasured possession or heirloom can evoke feelings of loss, nostalgia, and a connection to the past. It provides an opportunity to explore themes of materialism, attachment, and the value of intangible memories.

Being stranded or lost in a remote or dangerous location: Characters finding themselves stranded or lost in a remote or dangerous location can face survival challenges, fear, and the need to rely on their instincts. It allows for exploration of themes of resilience, self-discovery, and the inherent strength of the human spirit.

Struggling with poverty or homelessness: Characters experiencing poverty or homelessness can encounter hardships, discrimination, and a constant struggle for basic needs. It provides an opportunity to explore themes of social inequality, resilience, and the power of compassion and empathy.

Encounter with a dangerous or malicious antagonist: Characters facing a dangerous or malicious antagonist can be subjected to physical and psychological harm, manipulation, and a fight for their lives. It allows for exploration of themes of good versus evil, moral choices, and the strength of the human spirit in the face of adversity.

Political or social persecution: Characters experiencing political or social persecution can face oppression, injustice, and the fight for their rights and freedom. It provides an opportunity to explore themes of social change, courage, and the power of collective action.

Being framed for a crime they didn't commit: Characters who are framed for a crime they didn't commit can face wrongful accusation, a loss of trust, and the pursuit of justice. It allows for exploration of themes of innocence, perseverance, and the search for truth.

These misfortunes can be used individually or combined to create layered and complex narratives where characters face adversity, overcome challenges, and ultimately find strength and growth through their experiences. Remember to balance the misfortunes with moments of resilience, hope, and eventual triumph to create a compelling narrative.

If you want to read more posts about writing, please click here and give me a follow!

[diserbillyti]

Autism can actually affect somebody's understanding of consent.

Or rather, the social circumstances and lack of education people with profound autism are subjected to often results in a severely lacking understanding of consent.

I've been a disability educator on and off for most of my adult life. I've worked primarily with adults between 18 - 25, mostly men, in contexts that I believe your standard "well I'm autistic and I don't ever [problematic behaviour]" poster isn't even aware exist, because those are not contexts such people have ever had to be in.

A considerable part of my job was just having talks about consent with my students.

Many, many autistic people, that is the flavour of autistic people who were identified as autistic from childhood and raised in SPED or adjacent contexts, have spent their whole lives being infantilized and segregated from the outside world. Many of them have always been assumed to be "children in adult bodies." As a result, many of them have never had any meaninful sex education, especially not as relates to consent, beyond "if a stranger touches you in the vagina that's nnnnnno good."

There is a stigma around teaching them about sex and consent for fear of being labelled as a sexual predator, inflicting some kind of harm on the individual, or inspiring them to imitate what you've taught them about. If they are "children in adult bodies," well, children don't have sexual desires and sex in a context with children is always bad, so why would I teach this 19 year old man with descended testicles and adult hormones and shit about all that - he has babybrain, after all.

I had one student, a 22 year old man, who was hugging his psychologist in sessions with her so that he could feel her breasts against his chest. When he told me this, we had a consent talk. As he understood it, it only would've hurt her if she knew about it, but see, she thought it was just hugging and they'd always hugged even when he was a child, so unless she could read minds she'd have no way of knowing he was getting off on it. It took a few weeks and genuine social dev. exercises for him to understand beyond some kind of basic social rule of "don't do that" - and it's important for him to have that broader understanding so that he doesn't replicate the same problems elsewhere, ie. staring at women because "they can't see me staring and if they don't know it doesn't hurt them."

He's someone who 1. is disabled in a way that makes empathy and abstract reason difficult, and 2. has never been treated as having the potential to either have sexual thoughts or conduct himself in a sexually healthy way.

This kind of thing is exceedingly common. I've worked with men and women who masturbate in public because they do not have impulse control and do not understand that doing so can harm the people around them. After all, "I'm not touching anybody." I've worked with men and women who would discuss sex and pornography constantly regardless of social context because that is what they were presently obsessed with, and they lacked the ability to self-regulate. Superwholock was my Vietnam.

Basically, I've been in all kinds of complicated situations surroundinf disabled peoples' sexuality that indicate the severe lack of education that they receive, due to the norm of infantilisation.

I have also, and this is important, worked with dozens and dozens of disabled victims of sexual abuse.

If I were silly enough to think my subjective experience was representative of a universal truth, I'd say that 80% of intellectually disabled people have been sexually abused at some point or another. I have had so many disclosure experiences it is honestly maddening.

Many times students would just tell me things that happened to them during consent talks. It'd usually follow a stucture of,

"Touching someone's penis without asking first is wrong, because even if it makes us feel good, it can hurt them. Hurting people is wrong."

"But [person] touched my penis without asking and it didn't hurt."

That's seriously all it would take to discover half the time.

I'd disclose this to their caregiver, who would often be shocked and go through the motions of my gosh but I never thought I never suspected I never knew but golly it makes so much sense and that's why X, Y and Z happened and and and

All because there is such a social stigma around engaging with the reality that yes, actually, sex is part of the reality that disabled people inhabit, and just because you're reading them as an asexual child does not mean they are one.

I say all of this because every time a Problematic Man does some nonsense and plays neurodivergence as a defense, a legion of the most annoying level one autistic people look to protect the perception that they are ostensibly able-bodied by saying

"Well as an autistic man, I know what consent is."

Good for you, Mark! But a lot of people like us don't! And it leads to the most fucked up problems you've never had to deal with! But I do have to deal with them and if that remains the case for much longer, I'm going to become the fucking Joker!

The better response is: Neil Gaiman is not the kind of autistic person that doesn't know what consent is, or might misread signals like that. That he spent years covering up and lying about it indicates that he understands it was wrong, and that he would face consequences if discovered. His behaviour after being discovered also suggests the same. Additionally, we can see a clear understanding of consent in both his fiction and statements he has made previously. He is attempting to use autism as a cover, and in so doing, making the world more dangerous for the portion of autistic people who might really struggle to understand consent.

[recoveringsoulsposts]

UNHINGED INCEL MRA ACTIVIST RANTS TO YOUNG GIRL!

I found this on the TWOXCHROMOSOMES subreddit. I wanted to debunk common MRA MYTHS, with ACTUAL FACTS and EVIDENCE. I’ll be probably doing a few parts to this, because I keep hearing stupid ass MRA talking points that need to be debunked for it’s dangerous rhetoric, dumb ass Incels spreading their alpha bro facts, they’ve learnt watching an red pill podcast and labelling it as the truth need to be DEBUNKED.

So Let me DEBUNK every point this INCEL made⬇️

Let’s debunk every point he made:

POINT 1: “Women accuse men of SA”

- It’s honestly pathetic how many men cry about being falsely accused of rape—something that’s extremely rare and statistically almost guaranteed to never happen to them. False accusations make up 2% or less of cases, yet they act like they’re under attack simply because the world is finally holding them accountable. They’re more outraged by a hypothetical lie than by the reality that women are raped, assaulted, stalked, and silenced every single day.

- Evidence: The U.S. Department of Justice and research by academic expert David Lisak found that only around less than 2% of rape accusations are false.

_______________________________________________

POINT 2: “How all girls are a bunch of selfish people who can just accuse a man of SA and everyone will believe them and arrest the man.”

- That’s completely false. In reality, when women report rape or SA, the first thing people ask is:

• “What were you wearing?”

• “Why were you out late?”

• “Were you drunk?”

Women are often blamed for the violence done to them. They’re not automatically believed—they’re judged.

Evidence:

A 2021 UNICEF report found that 1 in 5 girls globally experience sexual violence, and many never report it.Laws may exist, but justice isn’t automatic. Survivors—especially girls—often face shame, victim-blaming, and disbelief

Cultural stigmas around rape lead to shame and silence. For example, East Asian women in the UK have reported fears of dishonoring their families or being disbelieved, discouraging them from seeking justice. - The Guardian

_______________________________________________

POINT 3: “Men get SA’d just as often, and when women get SA’d, people pity them and treat them like goddesses. When a man gets SA’d, nobody cares.” -

This is completely fucking false, Women are far more likely to be sexually assaulted.

EVIDENCE: In the U.S., according to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (CDC):

1 in 5 women (20%) have been raped in their lifetime.

For men, it’s about 1 in 38. Men do get sexually assaulted —but it’s mostly done by other men, not women.

- Also, the reason male victims don’t speak up isn’t because of women—it’s because of patriarchal shame culture. Which is largely done by OTHER MEN shaming MEN.

Evidence: The CDC reports that 87% of male victims of completed or attempted rape said their perpetrators were men.

1. United States (CDC – National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey): Nearly 99% of rapes of women are committed by men. Among male victims of rape, 87% reported male perpetrators.

2. UK (Office for National Statistics): In 2021, 98.5% of rape suspects were male.

3. Global Research (UN Women, WHO): Worldwide, sexual violence is overwhelmingly perpetrated by men, regardless of the victim’s gender. This includes intimate partner rape, child abuse, conflict-related rape, and institutional abuse.

_______________________________________________

POINT 4: “But he always goes on about how nowadays girls face no problems whatsoever, that everyone loves them, pampers them, and favors them over boys.”

This is completely false and rooted in delusion. First of all, the love and emotional support women receive is almost always from other women—not men, not society. Women support each other because we understand the pain, judgment, and fear we go through daily. That emotional safety Women do get isn’t handed to us—it’s something we built in response to constant dehumanization.

If men want that same kind of love and care, they should start giving it to each other, instead of expecting it from women or resenting us for it. You want a brotherhood? Build it. Stop FUCKING blaming women for the emotional emptiness of being around males and what patriarchy created DIPSHIT.

Evidence:

- A 2021 American Psychological Association study found that women report having deeper emotional conversations with friends and more emotional closeness, whereas men’s friendships tend to be more activity-based and emotionally limited.

- A 2022 Harvard study on social connection showed that men are less likely to seek emotional help, and when they do, they often turn to female partners or family, not male friends.

_______________________________________________

POINT 5: “Boys don’t receive any love or care from anyone.” & “But he always goes on about how nowadays girls face no problems whatsoever”

- If boys are raised without affection or emotional support, that’s the fault of a patriarchal system, not girls. How the fuck are women loved or cared for?

Meanwhile, girls are dealing with:

• preference of having sons over daughters

• Honour killings

• Femicide

• Street harassment

• Rape culture

• And fear for our safety just existing

How the FUCK are we “pampered or cared about by society”?

Evidence:

- In 2022, 48,800 women and girls were killed by intimate partners or family members — that’s 1 every 11 minutes. – UNODC

- The UN estimates 5,000+ women are killed in honour killings annually (likely underreported).

- In India, the 2011 census showed 914 girls per 1,000 boys, showing deep gender bias.

- In China, the one-child policy led to millions of missing girls due to sex-selective abortion or neglect.

_______________________________________________

POINT 6: “Now in his family, he is always expected to carry stuff and work as he is a ‘man’.”

Women are expected to work jobs, contribute financially, and STILL do most of the housework.

Women live under gendered expectations at home and in society even TODAY—all whilst working a full time job, paying the bills and providing financially for their families.

Evidence:

According to the OECD, women do more than twice the unpaid housework compared to men in most developed countries. Even in dual-income households, women still carry the “second shift” of cooking, cleaning, and caregiving.

_______________________________________________

POINT 7: “Higher expectations for beauty. Straight up not true. Men have to deal with that. In order to get a girl, they basically have to be a modern Hercules.”

The fact that he had the GULL to say this, when Women have been judged on looks for centuries.

We are:

• Sexualised from young ages

• Pressured to be thin, flawless, and youthful

• Criticised for how we dress, age and to just basically fucking exist

Also, how many ugly or unattractive men do you see with beautiful women? Tons. Meanwhile, women are judged relentlessly. Even after giving birth, women told to “snap back” instantly and their disgusting husbands shame their girlfriends or wives who just gave birth to their child, that they’re not “attracted to them” anymore, after literally having human being come out of her. Again tell me how Men are expected to “have higher beauty standards”

Evidence:

- A 2012 Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin study found men prioritize appearance more than women. and overestimate how much women care about their looks.

- American women spend an average of $3,756 per year on beauty; men spend $2,928.

- The global beauty industry is worth over $500 billion and growing—driven mainly by female consumers pressured to meet impossible standards.

_______________________________________________

POINT 8: “Being treated as bitchy when taking the role of a leader: Not the case either, there are countless characters in films in where a woman is a ‘strong leader female’ and everybody ‘loves’ it. People love it when a woman is empowering and in charge”

False. In real life, women in leadership are regularly judged more harshly than men for the same traits.

- Women are often called “bossy,” “cold,” “aggressive,” or “unlikable” when they show authority.

- Men showing the same behaviors are called “strong,” “assertive,” or “leaders.”

Evidence:

- A 2022 Harvard Business Review study found that women in leadership are held to higher standards and judged more on personal characteristics than performance. Women receive more negative performance reviews and are penalized for being direct or assertive.

_______________________________________________

POINT 9: “If a woman is sexualized young, the person gets arrested. If it’s a boy, nothing happens.”

False

- Women and girls are sexualized far more constantly, in media, schools, and public spaces—starting at young ages. Arrests do not usually follow unless there is overwhelming evidence and a legal process. When it does happen to Males, it’s often other Males who MOCK them telling them to “man up” & “you’re lucky if it was a female abuser”

Evidence:

- A 2021 UNICEF report found that 1 in 5 girls globally experience sexual violence, and many never report it.Laws may exist, but justice isn’t automatic. Survivors—especially girls—often face shame, victim-blaming, and disbelief

- A 2020 study by the Geena Davis Institute found that in global ads: Women were 6x more likely to be shown in revealing clothing. Women were 4x more likely to be visually or verbally objectified than men

- Sociological research highlights that male peer groups often enforce traditional masculine norms through mockery and ridicule. For instance, C.J. Pascoe’s ethnographic study in Dude, You’re a Fag reveals that adolescent boys use homophobic slurs to police each other’s masculinity, discouraging behaviors deemed non-conforming

_______________________________________________

TO CONCLUDE: Let’s be clear—women face far more brutal, violent, and dehumanizing issues in society than men, and pretending otherwise is fucking diabolical and just pure ignorance. Women are raped, abused, murdered, and silenced and GASLIT at rates men will never experience. We’re sexualized from childhood, blamed for our own assaults, and judged relentlessly on how we look, dress, speak, and behave. And how exactly are we “Pampered”? No. We’re harassed in public, terrorised online, killed for saying no. The love and care we receive as women is provided by other Women. Men whining about not being “loved” or “worshipped” when women are fighting just to live a normal life is not only pathetic—it’s insulting. There’s no comparison. If men are struggling it’s 9 times out of 10 IT IS SELF INFLICTED. If Ya’ll want solutions to your problems, idk talk to each-other and leave Women out of it. Its not our problem.

Women owe you MALES FUCKING nothing.

[spookyxsam]

Unintentionally.

You can’t do better if you aren’t better and don’t know better.

If you know better? Then fuck you 🖕🏼

Do better.

[last-words-ofashootingstar]

Serendipity

❥Yandere Park Seonghwa x fem reader

➯a/n: happy seonghwa day ! drumroll please 🥁🥁🥁 this is the beginning of hwa and his baby's story !! holy shit am i excited to share this, this is the plot that i had in my head the whole time writing the first fics of this au and i knew i wanted to write it but i was just never satisfied until now. this has been in my head for two years, enjoy the ride !

Baby Series (this is the first part chronologically)

✃... "I didn't feel anything. Not a thing. Because he had it coming. He hurt My Baby." ... ✃

♡'･ᴗ･'♡genre: yandere (lowkey a romance turned horror)

✫彡wordcount: 12k

♫"You're my baby, say it to me." Mitski, I Bet on Losing Dogs

ಠ_ಠwarning/content: hwa is CRAZY FFR, slow burn that kicks into overdrive, reader is an age regressor, ignoring red flags, they smooch, enjoy before it goes downhill 😭 panic attacks, insinuated sh(not reader), past abusive relationship, drugging, detailed recount of murder. only briefly proof read

✩index: little space- a regressed state of mind where someone feels like a child. little / age regressor - a person with a little space. caregiver - someone who cares for a little, usually their significant other. hyung - a close male friend older than you, used by other males.

♫"Since the creation of the universe, everything was destined. Just let me love you." Jimin, Serendipity

➯disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and does NOT represent a healthy little and caregiver relationship, or a healthy relationship of any kind.

MATURE UNDER CUT MDNI

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

It was most likely a mistake on Seonghwa's part to be here. If there was a single photo with his face in it, it would most probably mean the end of his career. But he couldn't help himself. It was something he was always interested in.

    His members say he a natural caring aura about him, and they aren't wrong. Something in his brain tells him to care for everyone and everything, especially things he finds adorable.

It's still considered taboo in Korea, but even taboo things have their place in the world.

With a mask over his face, thick rimmed glasses, and a cap; he bit the bullet and entered the convention. He saw a post about it online, urging littles and their caregivers to come and support small businesses that made things within the community.

Although he had no use for these things, no little of his own, he figured it would be a good place to get a feel for the community.

It was surprisingly busy for how much stigma was around the entire idea. People were polite to one another, treating everyone like a good friend. It was different from the rest of Korea; where people kept to themselves for the most part.

He was simply admiring the different variations of bottles made to fit in a bigger hand when he saw it —

    When he saw... you.

    At the booth next to him, biting your nail as you looked down at the array of pacifiers with a look on your face that would make anyone think you were making the most important decision of your life.

    You were... you are breathtaking.

    Against his best judgment, his promise to himself to stay under the radar, he speaks up, "big decision?" 

     You jump up a little bit, placing a hand against your colorfully striped t-shirt. You look him up and down.

    "Sorry," he gives you a bow as he steps closer, looking down at the display with you.

    "Ah, it's okay," you smile, shifting on your feet, "yeah, I'm having some trouble. I promised myself I would only get one but they're all calling my name."

   The little laugh in your voice has his heart thudding wildly, and he passes off his deep calming breath like he's thinking over it as well; bending to get a better look.

    "Do you," he clears his throat, "maybe you could ask your caregiver?" Please, say you don't have one. Please, say you don't have one. Please, say you don't have one. Pl-

    "Oh, I don't have one," you give him a half-smile, looking him up and down once more. He looks well put together and something about him draws you in. He smells like the Earth after it rains. You want to talk to him more. "Your little must be missing you." Please, say you don't have one. Please, say you don't have one. Please, say you don't have-

    "I don't have a little." He pauses before shaking his hands, "not that I'm here to try and find one! That would probably be weird, I'm just curious! No- not curious, I know I want to be a caregiver but-"

    Your precious laugh cuts his rambling off, "hey, it's okay, no judgment here," you gesture around, "clearly."

    "Ah," he nods; thankful that his mask is hiding his embarrassed blush, "it's my first time at one of these things... could you tell?"

    "Oh, yeah, immediately," you look down with a smile on your lips.

    "That obvious, huh?"

    "You stick out like a sore thumb, man."

    He laughs along with you, resting his elbows on the glass display case. "You fit in pretty well, though. Can I ask, how long have you been... been little?"

    "Hmm," you have a thoughtful pout as you look away from the case and at the lanyards on the sides of the pop up walls. "Four- eh, five years soon. How long have you known you want to be a caregiver?"

    He's happy that the conversation flows naturally, maybe it's your bubbly aura or your sweet personality. "Long time," he thinks to the first time he ever accidentally cooed at one of his sleeping members, "seven years maybe? I've always been drawn to taking care of people."

    "That's what makes a good caregiver. Always putting others first," you giggle, tapping your baby blue nails on the glass, "eh, if I can't decide by now I probably shouldn't buy one." 

    "Do you have one already?" The question slips before he can think over his words, making his heart drop at the thought that that's probably too intense of a question. But thankfully you don't think anything of it.

   "Yeah, but it's about time to replace it. They get worn down even if you take good care of them," you explain for him, resting your cheek in your palm as you meet his gaze. "How much do you know about this stuff?"

    "Oh, well," he whispers, looking away from your intense eye contact, "not much, admittedly..." He'd only read a few articles and followed a few pages, and he didn't think he'd be in a relationship with a little anytime soon so he hadn't invested time to deep diving.

    "Do you want to walk with me? I can tell you about it, if you like."

     "Really?" His head pops up quickly, and he sees you holding back a laugh at his eagerness.

    "Yeah!" You nod, giving a last peek towards a light pink pacifier before turning away, "can't have you wondering around here lost, right?"

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

"So you don't?" Seonghwa tilts his head as he looks at the large onsies on display, the cute patterns making him smile under his mask.

"No, my little age is a liiiiittle too big for onsies," you laugh, "see what I did there? Ah, I'm hilarious." You look around, spotting a sign for one of the small businesses you know. You jump, quickly running over.

Seonghwa blinks in confusion for a moment before running after you, his long legs catching up with you easily.

"Miss Lee?" You peek around the stand, flinching back into Seonghwa's chest as the older woman pops into view, picking up a receipt she had dropped. "Ah!"

He quickly wraps his arms around your shoulders, similarly startled. When he notices, he quickly steps back and pats your shoulder instead.

"Oh, (Y/n)! Good to see you!"

"Jesus, you almost gave me a heart attack," you joke, thankfully not noticing or caring enough about Seonghwas semi-hug to say anything. You slide into the make shift store, giving her a warm hug. "I didn't know you would be here."

"Last minute decision," she pats your back as she lets go of you, looking towards the man, "who's this?"

"Oh," you smile as you remember his presence, "this is Hwa. He's new to the whole thing, I was showing him around, answering some questions."

"Hello," he bows to the older woman, and she leans forward with a questioning expression.

"Why you wearing that? You a serial killer or something?"

You freeze at the old timers suspicion. It hadn't even crossed your mind.

"No, no, no," he shakes his head quickly at your weary face, "God, no!" He laughs nervously, looking around. Thankfully, Miss Lee's booth is in a further off corner because of her last minute attendance. And he doesn't know why, but he doesn't want his time with you to end.

So, he pulls down his mask. "Not a serial killer, I promise. I'm just... shy about this."

You smile lightly as you take in his features for the first time. Miss Lee tuts her tongue and waves her hand, "no reason to be shy, you're a pretty boy."

He pulls it back up quickly after giving you a smile which makes your heart melt.

"(Y/n), I have something for you! I was going to drop it off at your apartment if I didn't run into you," she's oblivious to your small flirting moment as she quickly changes the subject, opening up a box.

"Ah, I didn't order anything," you shake your head, helping the woman lift the heavy container onto the chair.

"I know, but the person who did cancelled on me, and I immediately thought of you. Their measurements are a bit bigger than you, but I know you like things baggy anyway, angel."

Seonghwa rests his arms on the pink dresser she has at the front, looking on with curiosity and smiling at the woman's kind words to you.

"Are you sure you couldn't sell it-"

"I want you to have it- ah, here it is!" She sets a folded up sweater into your arms. It's a pastel purple fabric that even looks soft to the touch, and he can tell it is by the way you rub your finger tips over it with a happy sigh. As you unfold it, you see her delicate embroidery on the front in a thin cursive. 'Baby', it says, the y at the end curling into a heart.

You pull it over your head without another moment of hesitation and hug the woman again.

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

You lead Seonghwa with a new hop in your step, the large sweater bouncing with each of your excited moves. He can see why you like it, it makes you look adorable. He can tell it makes you feel that way, as well.

Your naturally happy personality is doubled by something as simple as a big, soft, sweater. It's fascinating. The psychologically behind all of this is intriguing to him.

"What about those?" He points to some plates with little separated areas, different cartoons and patterns on them.

"Hm?" You halt and come back to his side, "ah, lots of littles have sensory issues — just like kids do. When the food touches a different food it gets all icky." Your nose scrunches up at the thought, so he asks.

"Do you use them?"

"Oh, yeah. If my foods touch it's like they're contaminated. I know it's silly, b-"

"I don't think it's silly."

You look up at him, a soft smile gracing your face. "No?"

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

He sits facing the wall, thankful to let his face get some fresh air without the fear of anyone seeing him. Especially now that he's with you.

There's a cafe across the street that you suggested after showing him almost everything to see; neither of you ready to part ways just yet.

"Tada~" You slide into the seat across from him, offering him his drink that you kindly paid for even though he insisted he could do so.

"Thanks," he smiles, happy that you can finally see his expressions when you smile back wider than before.

"No problem!" You watch as he takes a sip and chews on the boba with a pout on his lips. "Good?"

"Mhm! You were right," he quickly goes for another, making you chuckle as you sip on your own drink.

"So," he leans forward, "besides all of... that," he gestures to the busy gathering across the road, "what do you do?"

"I work for a law firm." His eyes widen, making you laugh loudly; he clearly wasn't expecting that. "In the filing room," you clarify, pushing up the long sleeves of the sweater and groaning when they fall back down.

"Ah, okay, sorry! I didn't meant to seem so shocked," he sets his drink down, motioning for you to bring your arm forward, "may I?"

"Thanks," you lift your arm out across the table, watching his fingers closely as he rolls up the fabric neatly, "uhm, what about you?" He pauses, and bites his lip as he reaches for your other arm. "Wait, you aren't actually a killer, are you?"

He huffs a laugh, shaking his head as he makes the sleeves even, "I'm uh... I'm in the entertainment industry."

"Oh, why are you so-"

"I'm an idol." He finally blurts out.

You stare at each other for a long moment, your arms dropping to the table with a thunk. "Huh?"

"I'm an idol. My name is Seonghwa, not just Hwa. I'm in a group called ATEEZ and I don't know why I'm telling you all this but I can't get my mouth to stop!" He slaps a hand over his mouth with a groan, thanking his lucky stars that nobody else is in the cafe and the worker has their headphones on.

You tilt your head, eyebrows pushing together. "No, you aren't," you shake your head, "no way! I see ads for that group everywhere, I would recognized y...ooooh." Your jaw drops as he holds up his phone, a picture of their latest promotional poster on the screen. Sure enough, there he is. And here he is, too, in front of you. "Shiiiit, damn!" You thud your head onto the table. "I thought I actually had a chance with you." It's your turn to blurt something out.

"... What?"

"What?" You parrot him, suddenly realizing what you said and sitting up stalk straight. "Wow, that was really inappropriate of me-"

"Can I take you on a date?"

You blink in surprise, daring to look him in the eyes. He looks as sincere as anyone ever has, his eyes glimmering with hope. You take a long sip of your drink before throwing your head back dramatically, "ugh! How could I say no to that?!"

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

A couple of days later, your phone pings at work. With nothing to do, you bring it out from your pocket.

    HWA SENT TWO MESSAGES.

   You smile down at the device as you open them up.

    7:47AM. HWA SENT A MESSAGE. Okay, have a good day at work!

    9:16AM. HWA SENT A MESSAGE. Do you have plans tonight? My schedule opened up, I was wondering if I could give you that date?

   You tap your nails against the back of your phone as you think.

    9:18AM. YOU SENT A MESSAGE. i'm free after work ! what time were you thinking ?

    As soon as you sat it down, it buzzed again. "This guy," you laugh to yourself.

    9:20AM. HWA SENT A MESSAGE. I was thinking we could eat dinner together. What time do you usually eat?

  

   9:21AM. YOU SENT A MESSAGE. usually around 7, how does that sound ?

   9:23AM. HWA SENT A MESSAGE. That sounds good. Is it okay if I come to your place? I can bring whatever you like.

    You hesitate for a moment, biting your thumb. You don't know him that well. Inviting a stranger, a strange man, into your home was usually always asking for trouble.

    9:25AM. HWA SENT A MESSAGE. Sorry, that probably was weird of me to ask. We can find somewhere!

    Your anxiety is replaced by a smile as you type back quickly.

    9:25AM. YOU SENT A MESSAGE. no, that sounds good ! it would probably be hard to find a quiet place on a friday. i'll send my address to you in a bit !

    You slam the phone down and ignore the buzz as he texts you back after a few moments; staring ahead with wide eyes as you realize you just invented a man over to your home. You doubted he would try to take things further than a cheek kiss; even that was a big maybe. But it was still nerve wracking.

   But then... you think of the gentle way he rolled your sleeves, and the way he blurted out the truth to you against his better judgement. His smile, his pretty eyes.

    "Ugh!" You slam your head onto the desk. "I almost wish he was a serial killer."

    "What?!" Your coworker yells from the corner.

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

    "A date!" Your best friend, Yejin, repeats for the third time in thirty minutes as you both rush around to pick up any mess in your apartment. 

    "Yes," you roll your eyes as you toss the broom at her.

     "A daaaate?" She laughs at your exhausted face, tired of her teasing.

   "Yup," you turn back around quickly, fixing up the pillows on your little sofa. "I'm already nervous, okay?"

    "Why didn't you go to a restaurant? I really didn't expect to go from not knowing this guy existed to cleaning your house so he can come over!"

    "Don't worry about it," you tut your tongue, rushing to pick up your coloring books and shove them into the box in the corner.

    "Does he know-"

    "Yes, he knows I'm an age regressor."

    She nods, suddenly having a more serious look about her.

    "What?"

    "I was going to ask does he know about Namsun..."

     You throw the last book with a sigh, sitting on the floor. She knows it's a sensitive subject, but she doesn't know how much this guy actually knows about you. She really didn't know you were even talking to someone until a few hours ago. But apparently he was trustworthy enough to invite over. "No..."

    "Are you sure it's a good idea to have him over so soon, Babe?" She crouches next to you, looking at you intently, "what do you even know about this guy?"

    "A lot..." I watched some of his videos, you want to say.

     She sighs, patting your shoulder as she glances at her watch. "It's almost seven, you should get ready." She knows there's no stopping you.

    There's no stopping destiny.

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

      Seonghwa sets out the multiple styrofoam boxes on your short coffee table, sitting cross legged on a pillow you offered him. "Sorry, again," you say as you come back from the kitchen, handing him his choice of drinks after you'd called them out to him. "My dining table got broke like a year ago and I haven't had the time to replace it."

    "It's okay," he smiles, any time spent with you will be perfect, he wants to say. Way too soon for that, he knows. Instead, "thanks for agreeing to eat here. We can just relax, not worry about others."

    "Yeah, I get it! It must be hard to just do normal things when you're a celebrity." You hum as you hand him a plate, setting one infront of you as well.

    "Celebrity," he snorts a laugh, covering his mouth quickly, "sorry..."

    You laugh, shaking your head, "what? That was cute." You suck your lips in as you realize what you said, similarly looking down shyly. "Anyway! Let's eat, where's this from?"

    He takes a sip of his drink to calm himself before looking up and responding as he watches you open the boxes. "It's from a place called Lin's Express, I go there a lot with- hey, won't that bother you?" He pauses as he sees the flat plate infront of you, remembering the way your face scrunched up at the thought of food touching each other.

    You look down, blinking at the dish for a second before clarity hits you. "Oh, I forgot you know about that! I usually just deal with it when I eat with others."

    The thought makes him a bit sad. You shouldn't have to be uncomfortable just for the satisfaction or ease of others who don't understand. "No," he shakes his head, picking it up and placing it in your confused hands, "I want you to be comfortable. You should use one of your plates."

    You tilt your head as you look up from the plate, meeting his eyes. "Really? I mean- that won't make you feel like you're eating with a kid?"

    He shakes his head, quick to reassure you, "I know you're really an adult. I'm in your apartment, why would I think you're a kid if you eat from a divided plate?"

    "Yeah, I guess you're right," you smile, quickly going to the kitchen and exchanging your dish. He takes the moment to look around, taking in your style and the various pictures on your walls. From his spot on the floor, he can't make out a lot of them; but they seem to be different sceneries and some family photos.

     One of them catches his eye more than the others, it's of you and another woman your age on your left. The person on your right has been torn away and replaced by another photo; one of a beautiful sunrise taken high up. You were clearly trying to remove the person from the photo. But their hand is on your hip.

     "Better," you sit with a little sigh, not noticing his gaze on the photo as you finish opening up the few boxes.

    He looks away quickly when he feels you look at him, smiling over at you. "Good," he hums, picking up the chopsticks you provided him, "I want you to be comfortable with me!"

    "Thanks, Hwa," you mirror him, gathering some noodles onto a section of your plate, "Lin's Express, you said? Smells good!"

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

      "You did?"

    You both lay on your backs on your living room floor, stomachs full and hearts content as you tilt your heads to look at each other.

    "I did! It was terrifying," you chuckle as you recount the day that you and Yejin swam with sharks, "I can't believe I let her convince me to do that! I mean... they were basking sharks, totally harmless, but still!"

    He laughs with you, "I would have freaked out the second I saw them. It's in our nature to be scared of things that can kill us!"

    "That's," you slap his shoulder playfully, "exactly! Exactly what I said! But she said it would be good for me to do something thrilling to feel empowered."

    "She sounds like a good friend," he thinks back to the picture, his eyes flitting to it, "is that her?"

    "Uh?" You follow his eyes, "yeah that's her! We've been friends for like... nine years now? Going on a decade."

    "Can I ask," he hesitates, "what happened to the rest of the picture?"

    "Oh," you roll over onto your stomach, folding your arms and resting your chin on them. "I guess that is kind of a weird thing to see hanging in someone's house..."

    He sees your mood faltering, so he places a hand on your arm gently, "you don't have to tell me. It can be a story for another day."

     "Thanks, it's definitely a 'another day' type of story," you lean and kiss his knuckle before sitting up. You don't notice the blush on his cheeks or the way he holds his kissed hand to his chest. You stretch your arms over your head and look at the ticking clock. "Woah, we've been talking for four hours!"

    "What?!" He sits up quickly and surely enough — the clock reads fifteen past ten. "Oh, shit," he scrambles for his phone, left face down on the table, "sorry, I promised my members I'd check in every so often."

   "Oh, crap! I told Yejin the same!" You dive for the couch, and aren't surprised to see a barrage of messages and missed calls from your friend. The most recent of which reading:

    9:45PM. JINAH SENT A MESSAGE. OKAY THATS IT IM CHECKING YOUR BLINK TO MAKE AURE HE DIDNT DRAG YOUR BODY OUT

    9:51PM. JINAH SENT A MESSAGE. dude, if you're getting laid right now and not DEAD IN A DITCH I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF

    10PM. JINAH SENT A MESSAGE. please don't be dead in a ditch

     You quickly reply to tell her that you're in fact alive, chuckling as you see her go back and forth with herself trying to figure out if you're dead or just 'getting the pipe' as she put it.

     Seonghwas voice pulls you from your phone, "Dude! Would you stop face-timing me while I'm trying to type?" He frowns at his phone before looking up and giving you an apologetic look.

     "Dude!" The man over the device mocks him, "would you answer the fucking phone so we know you're not being help captive?! You asshole, what were you doing for four hours?"

    "We were just-"

    "Holy shit..." The tone of his voice makes Seonghwa try to stop him before he can say something embarrassing.

     "No! No, no, Wooyoung-" Try, that is.

    "Yah, guys! He was just getting laid!"

     Seonghwa drops the phone, hiding in his hands.

     You burst into laughter, your head tilted back with the force of it. He looks up, watching with a fond glint in his eyes as you cover your mouth with your arm, sound still managing to escape.

     "Oh," the man on the phone whispers like he isn't being projected through a speaker, "oh, fuck, Hyung... can she hear me?"

    "Bye, Wooyoung!"

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡ 

     The next date is a week later, and he says he's more than happy to host you as it would be nearly impossible to find a quiet place where you wouldn't be noticed on a Saturday.

    He opens the door with a big smile, relief flooding him as he sees you.

    "Hey, Hwa," you smile up at him, shifting your weight on your feet.

    "You look adorable." He says it before he even realizes it, but he doesn't regret it one bit.

    To the untrained eye, you're just in a girly outfit with your hair moved out of your face to fight off the heat.

    But Seonghwa has been reading up on everything to do with age regression, even more than before now that he's talking with you. Much more. Anything remotely little space related, he would bookmark.

    One thing he remembers most clearly is about how littles can try to comfort themselves in public. With things that could be passed off as something else if they were questioned about it. Things like coloring or drawing and saying it's meditative. Or fidget toys, you could easily say help with anxiety. Or like right now, you're wearing more 'childish' clothes that could be passed off as your style or vibe.

     "Oh, really?" You look down at your outfit shyly. You wanted a little bit of extra comfort in a new place, so you made yourself feel small with your choices. "Thank you."

    "Yeah," he sounds almost breathless as he looks you up and down for the umpteenth time.

    "Who's at the door?" Someone yells from within, breaking his trance.

    "Sorry, come in, come in." He quickly ushers you inside, "you can just put your shoes over with ours, here." He takes them for you, placing them on the racks with multiple other pairs.

    "Thanks, Hwa," you look around the apartment, unaware of how the nickname makes his heart flutter. You never stopped calling him that even after he told you his full name. "What did you have plan-"

    "Ah!" Someone yells as they exit the hallway, their eyes immediately on your unfamiliar face, "who is this?!"

    Seonghwa's body reacts before his mind again, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and holding you to himself as you both get startled; just like the first day you met. "Jesus, Wooyoung!" He scolds the other man, letting out a sigh. "What are you doing? You scared the crap out of me," he rubs your shoulders briefly before he lets go of you, "you don't even live here."

    "Me scared you? You're the one who brought a girl over unannounced! What if I was naked?!"

    You cover your mouth as your giggles threaten to come up, looking between them as they go back and forth.

    "I told the people who actually live with me, that-"

    "Well, I didn't hear about this!"

     "Because you don't live in this apartment, Young-ie! And why would you be naked?!"

    "I'm-"

    "Will you-"

     "Hey, you must be (Y/n)," another man greets much more politely as he comes out behind Wooyoung, giving you a bow which you quickly return.

    "(Y/n)? Like first date was five hours long (Y/n)?" Wooyoung gets slapped with realization, "oooooh! Sorry, sorry," he nods quickly, smiling your way. 

    "Yeah, Hyung told me and Mingi she would be coming over." Seonghwa gives Wooyoung a look that screams 'told you.'

     "Nice to meet you," you bow again, standing by his side like you're afraid to move away.

    He's internally freaking the fuck out at the fact you're really here, even more so that you're being so nice to his members even though one of them just jump scared you and only a week ago insinuated that you slept with him.

    "Sorry about-" Wooyoung clears his throat, "yeah, sorry."

    "Are you thirsty," Seonghwa ignores the two of them and looks down at you, "I saw that you walked here, it's a pretty long way."

    You have butterflies in your stomach at the thought of him watching your location, making sure you found your way to him safely. "Uhm, a little bit."

    "Come on," he grabs your hand gently and leads you, "sorry about them. I diiid warn you."

    Wooyoung and San watch you disappear into the kitchen, the younger tilting his head. "I didn't know Hyung was into girly girls. Ow! What was that for?"

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

"Do you see this piece?"

His floor is covered in an array of Lego pieces, he sits cross legged on one side of the pile and you're laid on your stomach on the other.

You turn your instruction packet to face him, still searching.

You're making a bouquet of flowers, and he's making a vase for them to go in; talking about random things that come up as you go.

It been about two hours and you're both on your final pieces. But you can't find one of the long green sticks that the bodies of your flowers go on.

"Uhm," he looks around the few remaining pieces, pouting, "no, I don't."

"Dang," you close the book with a small huff, then a shrug, "we're missing one of the stems! One, two, three..." You count the ones in your hand again.

"Hmmm," he looks over the flowers you made and picks one up carefully. A black dahlia. "Maybe, I can keep this one? And you can put the rest on the stems?"

You slide up to sit on your knees and think for a second. "Smart! I was just going to use a straw or something, that probably wouldn't have gone too well," you laugh, gently putting the remaining flowers onto the sticks while he carefully sets the dahlia on his desk.

"Creative, I like it," he smiles as he watches over you for a moment. You move the plastic flowers into different places in your hand, trying to figure out how to arrange them.

You're doing something so simple, mundane.

But Seonghwa thinks you're the most beautiful girl in the world in that moment.

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

"Food!" Comes a muffled yell from somewhere in the apartment.

You and Seonghwa were laid side by side on his bed, his fingers tracing yours as he listens intently to your stories and shares his own.

"Uh?" He picks up his phone and looks at the time, his eyes widening, "oh, the time got away from us again," he chuckles as he shows you. It's already 8 in the evening, when you had arrived sometime around 3 in the afternoon.

It feels like time doesn't exist when he's with you. Nothing does.

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry," you sit up quickly, and he comes with you.

"There's nothing to apologize for," he reassures as he sets a hand on your back softly, "uhm, since you're here, if you want to, why don't you eat with us?"

"That's sweet, but I'd feel like I'm intruding." You pick up your bag where he hung it off the back of his chair, straightening out your clothes. "I had a really good time-"

"Come on, Baby. You have to eat, don't feel like you're intruding."

You stop in your tracks, bag half on your shoulder. "...what?"

He swings his legs off the edge of the bed quickly, looking at you closely. Did he say something wrong? Did he push your boundaries? Fuck fuck fuck fuck, fix this!

"Sorry, I just meant that we'd be more than glad to have you eat here! It isn't a problem at all, I-"

"Baby?"

He slaps a hand over his mouth as he recalls his words, quickly standing and bowing to you over and over as you stand there star-struck. "I'm sorry, (Y/n), I didn't mean to call you that, it just slipped out! Please, forgive me."

He pauses when he feels your hand on his shoulder. He's scared to look up, but he does anyway.

And he's immediately relieved.

You're smiling down at him, "it's okay, Hwa. I can be your Baby." You lean and give him a modest kiss to his cheek before pulling away all too quickly and putting your bag back on the chair. "Let's eat, yeah?"

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

The table has a comfortable atmosphere around it as you all eat and talk together.

You hear all kinds of stories about the man you're now officially dating, ranging from hilarious to heartwarming.

He sits beside you, chin in his hand as he watches you talking with his members; a smile stuck on his face.

San and Mingi, his roommates, tell you jokingly to be careful about messes because their Hyung is a neat-freak. Wooyoung apologizes for his behavior and then immediately gets his hand smacked with San's chopsticks as he tries to sneak a piece of meat from his plate. Yeosang, who only came over to get a charger, ended up staying when you and him clicked.

"You seriously don't know any of our songs? You didn't look us up? I find that hard to believe," Yeosang eyes you kiddingly, "in this day and age? I bet Seonghwa Hyung looked you up. Am I right?"

Seonghwa tears his eyes from you and looks up at the ceiling, "uhhhm, no! Nope." His voice is high and clearly he's lying, so you shove his shoulder lightly.

"Yah, no way! Psh, jokes on you. There's much more information about you online than there is about me."

"So, you did Google him?" Wooyoung smirks from across the table, leaning over it.

"Well-" Your mouth opens and closes a few times like a fish out of water before they start laughing. "Can you blame me?! I mean, c'mon! Look at him, I had to know if I stood a chance!" You groan, covering your face with your hand.

Seonghwa places a hand on your head as he leans towards you in his laughter, his eyes shut as he presses his forehead to your shoulder. Mingi is about to fall off his chair at the look on your face as you got caught red handed. Yeosang punches your other shoulder gently, "I knew it!"

"Okay, okay! I did look him up but I didn't full on stalk him! Just like... the basics. Like what he probably saw about me when he was doing the same thing!" You laugh with them, leaning back in your chair.

"Ah," he sighs, wiping his eyes as he leans back into his own space, "so we're on an even playing field, you think?"

"I know how to tell!" Wooyoung jumps up, slamming his hands on the table.

A few minutes later, you and Seonghwa sit side by side on the couch, a piece of paper and a pen for each of you curtesy of Mingi.

It's starting to rumble with thunder outside, so you figured you'd stay and wait out the storm. April showers. That's all it is, it should pass within the hour. Plus; you're having a good time.

"So, we're writing down the answer for each other, right?" You question, twirling the pen in your fingers, "so if you say, like, 'favorite movie' I would write what I think his favorite movie is?"

"Yup! Ready? Birthday?!" He starts slamming you both with questions, San and Mingi chuckling as Yeosang watches with his cheek in his palm; curled up in an armchair.

Birthday, zodiac sign, favorite movie (because of course he stole your question), favorite weather, parents names, the list went on until you both ran out of space on the papers.

He switches your papers, and tells you to grade each other.

Seonghwa smiles as he sees that you know the answer to almost every question besides the more obscure or personal ones.

Your eyes widen as you put check mark after check mark to his answers. Do you really talk that much? Did you really tell him your mother's name? You have been talking almost nonstop for a month, whenever you both were free almost all of your free time went to texting or calling. But did you already mention your love language or was he just that observant? When had you talked about your fear of the dark?

"Hwa..." You whisper, calling their attention, you feel a bit of a shiver down your spine but you attribute it to the air conditioning. "Are you sure you aren't a serial killer? How do you know I'm afraid of the dark?" You force a little huff of a laugh, peeking at him. The others look at him curiously.

"Hm?" He looks at the paper and blushes a bit. "Oh, I uh... I admittedly had a look at your Instagram, I saw that a lot of your pictures were taken in a light night, so I guessed..."

It's quiet for a second.

"Wow, you're a creep, Hyung!" Wooyoungs outburst breaks the thickness in the air, making it comfortable once again.

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

"It doesn't seem like it's going to clear up," Seonghwa sighs as he clicks off the weather channel, looking over to where you stand at the windows, watching the storm crash down on the city.

It was just you and him in the living room, Yeosang and Wooyoung returned to their own apartments and San and Mingi retired to bed.

"Ah, I should call Yejin and have her pick me up so you can get some rest." Before you can go to retrieve your phone from the table, he stands up.

"You don't have to do that, Baby," he hums, rubbing your arm gently as he sees the worried look on your adorable face, "nobody should be driving in this, it's too dangerous. You can sleep here, take the bed; I'll sleep on the couch-"

"No, no," you shake your head, looking down, "I can't possibly do that. I've already-"

"I promise it's okay." He stops you, looking down at you sincerely, "we could call it a sleep over." He cracks as smile as you giggle, gesturing with his head down the hall, "come on, you can wear something of mine to sleep in."

You thank him again and again as he gathers you something that will fit, even give him another kiss on the cheek before you close the door to the bathroom to change.

He changes while you're in the bathroom and then sits down on the edge of his bed with wide eyes. He can't believe he got you to stay. He can't believe you're going to sleep in his bed. He can't believe you've kissed his cheek... twice. He can't believe you believed his bullshit lie about Instagram.

Truth be told, the first time you hung out; he snooped. He 'accidentally' opened the door to your bedroom instead of the bathroom. He learned as much as he could in as little time as possible.

When you come back to his room, his heart feels like it simultaneously stops and beats a million miles per hour.

The sleep pants he lent you fit a little awkwardly but you look comfortable. The sweater you had brought with you just in case hides your hands as you fidget with them nervously.

His back straightens as he looks you up and down. "Wow..."

Just like before. It's something mundane. Domestic. And —

"You look so beautiful."

He only realizes that he said it out loud because your eyes widen. Then his do. It's a staring contest of sorts.

"Sorry." He blurts out. "Actually," he takes it back, "I'm not sorry. I mean it. You're beautiful."

Your ears feel red hot, "s-shut up," you laugh lightly as you set your folded up clothes with your bag.

When you turn around, he's right behind you. "Oh my!" He snuck up on you in what seems like a millisecond, quiet as a mouse. But he's looking down at you like a hawk. "Hwa, is-"

"Can I kiss you?"

The question comes seemingly out of nowhere. But it's been on his mind since the second you entered his room for the first time.

You feel sunburnt everywhere as your blood rushes, licking your lips when your eyes copy his and look at his plump lips as he looks at yours. "Ye-"

His lips crash into yours, his hands hesitating before he brings them up. His finger tips graze your cheeks softly before his palms slowly cradle them, holding you tenderly as your lips move together without hurry.

He leads you to the bed, falling on his back and letting you crash onto him as your lips refuse to part from each other.

Your hands find purchase on either side of his head, and his find their way to your hips.

Your entire body is on fire. His entire being is set ablaze.

Your bodies start to move against each other in tandem with your lips as your mouths part, allowing one another to get your first taste of each other.

He's already addicted.

So he's thankful when you pull back, panting, and whisper, "stay with me."

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

April is gone and in comes May. You've been dating Park Seonghwa for just over four weeks when he shows up at your door on a random Tuesday.

A random Tuesday that you just so happen to be home sick on.

"Hwa," you whine as you open the door, "I told you not to come over. I don't want to get you sick."

He simply smiles and lifts up a plastic bag on his fingers, "Lin's Express?"

You immediately turn around and head back inside, "come in, then."

"I thought so," he laughs airily, closing the door behind him, "have you taken any medicine, Baby?"

"Uhhhh," you groan on as you fall back into the couch were you've set yourself up, "couple of hours ago, but I ran out-"

"Wham!" He grins widely as he places a bottle of cold medicine on the coffee table, from the bag that had been in his other hand.

"H- wha-" You stutter, "how in the world do you know me so well?"

He shrugs playfully, taking off the seal before handing it to you, "here you go."

"Thanks, Hwa," you down some quickly before falling back across the couch, watching as he sets out the food. "Why aren't you at work?"

"I know you haven't felt good for a few days so I asked to record my lines first, so I could come take care of you as early as I could."

The words, you don't know why, they make you tear up. When you sniffle, he looks up quickly.

"Baby?"

"You're so sweet," you wipe your eyes with the back of your hand, "I think I'm still in denial."

"Denial?" He asks quietly as he shuffles to the couch on his knees, rubbing your side softly. "Denial of what?"

"That you chose me to be with. You could have anyone you want, and you're here. You- you're here. Taking care of me when I'm sick."

He pouts, leaning his head down on the armrest to mirror yours. "I don't want anyone else."

Your brows push together. He sounds so serious.

"I don't want to be anywhere else. With anyone else. I only want to be with you. You make me feel... peace. Peace that I haven't felt in- in... ever." He won't tell you this, but after the first night you spent at his apartment; he took a walk to the river the next day and threw his razor blades in the rushing water. You gave him the relief that they used to provide. And you did it so softly. "I don't want anyone else. I want you. I chose you."

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

You don't know how it happened, but after that, you found yourself falling into your little space.

    Maybe it was a mix of his loving words and soft touches as he helped you sit up and eat. A mix of exhaustion and emotions pushing you to go to your safe space.

    You never went there with him before. But no matter how hard you fought it, you still found yourself feeling tiny.

   You've both talked about it a lot, about what you did and how you felt and what you wanted. But you were still scared to let someone in after what happened last time.

    He notices you biting your lip, deep in thought as he rinses the dishes. "Everything okay, Baby?"

    Damn his favorite nickname for you, making you shrink even more. "I think, uhm," you look around, picking at your gingham pajama shorts. They're too rough for your increasingly fragile state. "Oh, I'm having a panic attack." You realize, stating it nonchalantly.

    "What?" He quickly turns off the faucet, drying his hands on the way to you, worry clear on his face. He stops a few steps away, wanting nothing more than to embrace you as he watches your breathing get shallow and sharp, but he knows better than to crowd someone having a panic attack from his experiences with his members and himself. He crouches and tries to meet your gaze, but your eyes are going too fast from place to place. "Baby, look at me, please?"

    Your eyes stop their incessant scanning of the rooms, landing on him with tears pressing against your waterline.

    "What can I do to help you, right now?" Clear and soft questions. He doesn't want to make you go deeper into your panic.

    "I n-" You heave, fingers still picking at the rough fabric of your shorts, "I need to change." You settle on, abruptly standing up — only to get dizzy and fall back down, Seonghwa's hands outreached; having been ready to catch you.

     "Okay, okay, can I pick you up? Is that okay? You're not in a place to walk," he approaches gradually, keeping his hands visible.

    You nod without a second thought. The panic attack you forced yourself into in the midst of fighting yourself officially put your mind into little space.

    You hold onto him tightly as he gently and slowly wraps his arms around you and lifts you up. Your arms lock around his neck and your legs around his waist.

     He makes the trip to your room quickly, even though he wants to revel in the feeling of you clinging to him; he knows it's not the time.

    You hesitate to let go of him when he sets you on your bed, a small whine leaving you that makes his heart tug as he lets go of you.

    "Which drawer, Baby?"

      You point. The one on the bottom.

    When he opens it, he starts putting the dots together on what made you freak out. This drawer seems to be dedicated to childish looking clothes of all kinds. He was making you fall into your regression.

    He bites back a smile as he moves to the side and lets you point again. He knew it was only a matter of time, especially with the way you froze when he first called you Baby. Especially with the way he was purposefully being extra caring while you were sick; having read that age regressors often went to their safe place when sick or stressed. 

    He successfully gathers what you wordlessly ask for, and sets the clothes on the bed next to you, "do you need help, Baby?" Another whine leaves you, and you struggle with yourself for a moment before nodding.

     Finally, he thinks as he helps you into the Tinkerbell themed pajamas.

    Finally.

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

   When you manage to calm yourself down with the help of Seonghwa's soft humming, he finally asks (though he already knows the answer), "do you want to tell me what happened?"

You're feeling so nice and fuzzy-headed when you finally stop fighting yourself, you almost don't know what he's talking about. "Oh... I was scared." You decided on a simple answer until you're prompted more.

And prompt he does, "what were you scared of, angel?"

You melt into the way he's holding you as he lets slip another sweet nickname. You don't want to think about that, but the logic in the back of your brain says that he deserves to know.

He waits for your brain to catch up and find your words, rubbing your back slowly and looking at you intently.

"I was scared that you would be like... like a bad daddy," you sigh, playing with the fur on one of your stuffed animals. "But you aren't. He was a butthole."

The way he chuckles makes you move from your place on his chest, and you giggle at the feeling. "A butthole?"

"Yeah!" You sit up, groaning as your sick body protests. You look down at him, and he can see the change in your mindset. Your eyes are a window to your soul; and right now your soul is small and putting all of your trust in him not to squish you. "But you aren't. You're... the best."

"Are you feeling small, Baby?"

You bite your lip. He notices you do that a lot in little space, even in the short amount of time it's been. "Yeah..."

"Do you want me to stay with you?" Please say yes. Please say yes. Please let me stay. Please say-

"Yes. If you want to?" Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes. Please don't leave me-

"Of course I want to."

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

    It's beautiful outside about a week later. The park has people few and far between because it's a weekday, you used a vacation day to spend it with Seonghwa.

    His job made things harder to work around, but you were more than willing to hop around weird schedules and hidden dates.

    The sun is beginning to set on the horizon. It paints the sky pink and orange. Birds are flocking together. The leaves and flowers blow with the gentle breeze. You're sitting on some cement steps next to a large tree.

    "Are you one of those people who bruise easily?" He asks out of nowhere.

   "What?" You look over at him with wide eyes. Lately, if something he says even has a hint of anything strange in it out of context; your body goes into fight or flight. You blame it on your trust issues, getting used to being in a relationship again.

    "Do you bruise easily?" He repeats himself as he gestures to the mark on your arm.

    "Oh," you sigh a laugh, rubbing over the bruise, "I guess I am. I hit it on a filing cabinet yesterday."

    "Awe," he leans and kisses it softly, "My Baby needs to be careful."

    "I'll be careful," you smile as you rest your forehead on his.

    These past two months have been beautiful. You're starting to think you've met 'the one'. Besides the little overbearing things here and there, or the strange look in his eye when you get too casual with Yeosang, Seonghwa is the man of your dreams.

    He even suggested that you called him 'Mommy' while in little space so that you never connect him with the 'Daddy' who mistreated you. He says he likes it better that way, anyway. He always been more traditionally 'motherly' when caring for others.

   You can't argue with that. He really is. Soft, and nurturing, and beyond attentive. And his eyes light up when you say it.

    "Give me a kiss," you implore him, fingers dragging through his grown out hair gingerly. You'll be sad when he has to cut it. He lets you put it in pigtails and braids. He lets you play with it until you both fall asleep whenever you spend the night together. It's only been a few times, but it's the best sleep he's ever gotten. He finds it hard to sleep without you most nights, now.

    "Can't say no to that," he rejoices as he cups one of your cheeks, bringing you in close and kissing you just the way that makes you putty in hands.

    You sigh into the kiss; leaning to follow him as he pulls away, making him chuckle, "we're in public, Baby."

    "Mh, let's go to my place."

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

    You get a message from him during the work day the day after that. He should be busy. You are busy.

    You get another. Your phone is lying face down on your desk as you make copies.

    It goes off quite a few times.

    When you finally sit down, your eyes widen.

    HWA<3 SENT SIX MESSAGES.

    TWO MISSED CALLS FROM HWA<3.

    You open them up quickly.

   1:32PM. HWA <3 SENT A MESSAGE. Baby, don't freak out

   1:32PM. HWA <3 SENT A MESSAGE. Just promise you'll stay calm, okay?

   1:33PM. HWA <3 SENT A MESSAGE. I swear to God, I'll take care of this

   1:35PM. HWA <3 SENT A MESSAGE. You're busy at work? I hope so

   1:35PM. HWA <3 SENT A MESSAGE. Don't look online. Don't read any of it, okay?

   1:37PM. HWA <3 SENT A MESSAGE. I'll meet you at your place

   "What..." You look at the time. 1:52. There was still hours until the work day ended.

    Against his text, you open up Google. You pause for a moment. He didn't even say what happened.

    You type in his name, and go to the news section. Your eyes fill with tears immediately.

    All of the latest news articles are about his girlfriend. About you. Thankfully your name isn't on any of them. Thankfully your face is blocked by his in the picture of you sharing a kiss.

    No. No. No. No. No. No.

    You almost forgotten that this was a possibility. You were so wrapped up in his love that you forgot that his entire life is public.

    Against your better judgment, you click on the comments under one of the articles. Some say how cute you look together. Some speculate if you work in the industry. Some are mean.

      You shut off your phone and walk right out of your office building.

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

     "She doesn't want to talk to you yet."

    Seonghwa jumps up from his spot sitting leaning against your apartment door. He'd been there for hours. He knocked for a long time. But he didn't get any answer. Your phone went straight to voicemail for a while.

    He comes face to face with the woman who was in the torn picture with you. A few years older, sure, but that's her. "Yejin, right?! Oh my god, is she okay? Did you talk to her? Please-"

    "She's not. She called me to come over and help her with figuring things out."

    "Figure-" He stutters, "what? I'm her boyfriend, I'm the one she should be 'figuring things out' with!"

   "Look, you seem like a good guy. But she isn't used to being in the spotlight. If I had known you were an idol, I'd have smacked her silly for even thinking about dating you."

    He's frozen in his spot, eyes sad and posture slumped.

    "But... she's been really happy with you. I think she just needs some time to, uhm, process. After everything she's been through with Namsun, at least give her that." She seems to notice the confused look in his eyes. "Oh, shit, she hasn't told you..."

    Her phone pings.

    "Is that her?" He jumps, "please, tell her to answer me-"

     "Give me your number."

    "What?" He's more confused than before, but he types it into her phone as she swipes the spare key from the top of the door frame.

    "I'll text you when we're done talking. She really likes you, so you deserve a chance. I'll tell you what she says. But for the love of God," she unlocks the door and steps in, "give her some space."

    

     He only catches a glimpse of you in the living room as she retrieves her phone —

    Before the door is slammed in his face.

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

    Time passes. Agonizingly slow.

   Seonghwa got a text from Yejin that said you were still trying to sort your thoughts. And that was all he got.

    Ever since you met, you hadn't gone a day without speaking.

    Now it was bordering on 48 hours.

   He was sitting on the couch with Mingi and Hongjoong, his best friend trying to console him as all he did was stare at whatever was on the television. He hadn't eaten, and he certainly hadn't slept. He'd barely moved.

   Just stared at his phone and waited.

  When his phone pings with a soft and bright tone that he set specifically to you, he throws himself off of the couch. The sudden movement makes the others flinch. He hadn't even lifted a finger in the past two hours.

     He falls to his knees as he grabs his phone, reading the message immediately.

    No...

   The words can't be real, they can't be.

   You tell him that you enjoyed every second with him, that you think he's the best person you've ever been with. But you can't be with him. Not right now. You aren't meant for the spotlight. He is, though. And he should enjoy it. But you can't be with him and have a clear conscience when you know that your very presence in his life causes issues in his career. And you certainly can't deal with the pressure of always being under a microscope. He's strong for being able to handle it, you say. You tell him that maybe in the future you can be together again, or in a different timeline. And at the very end —

    love, your baby

    He loses his fucking mind.

    His phone, which has been being squeezed progressively tighter; finally shatters in his hand. "Hyung!" Hongjoong yelps, stepping forward to make sure he's okay, "what-"

     A scream of pure heartache rips through the apartment. The building. The entire street.

    Mingi slams his hands over his ears and grimaces, looking at Seonghwa with a mixture of sadness and fear.

    He's had episodes like this before. Fits of emotion that couldn't be contained. They usually ended in destruction, but they didn't usually start with it. They didn't start this fast. It was always a slow build of moments when he would become snappy, irritable. They'd grow closer and closer together until one day he just lost it; he couldn't hold himself back anymore. And then destruction would begin.

   But he skipped all of that. A few minutes ago, he was staring blankly at nothing in particular — now he's smashing his fist against his broken phone, yelling.

   Not a lot of words manage to form on his tongue, just shouts and yells of "no" that tell Hongjoong and Mingi to back up because things are about to get uglier.

❝you're my baby, say it to me❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

     You manage to drag yourself to and from work the following two days after you officially broke things off with Seonghwa. Thankfully, since your face wasn't visible in any of the photos, life continued as it did before you met him.

    You kept looking at your phone, expecting to see a message from him. You don't know what you expect it to say - what you expect him to say.

    But you guess he's just as heart broken as you are.

    It's a classic case of right person, wrong time. That's what you tell yourself over and over. Wrong time. Wrong time. Wrong time.

     On your way out of work on the third day, you get a text from Yejin canceling your movie night plans last minute. She's been your rock through it all, so you can't fault her for missing one night of plans.

    Instead, you take a long walk. A long walk. The sky becomes dark and the streetlights flick on overhead as you walk back the way you came hours before.

    You're listening to his groups music on your headphones. You weren't lying when you told them you never heard them. And it was probably a mistake to start now — because his voice does just as much to soothe the ache in your heart as it does to break it. It leaves you somewhere in the middle. But it solidifies the fact that he's born to be an idol. And idols don't date without drama. And you don't want any part of it.

    Most of the lights in your apartment building are off. The sensor light flicks on as you enter your floor, a sigh leaving your lips as you let your fingers relax around your keys.

     The lock doesn't turn when you unlock it. It's already undone. You've been a bit frazzled lately.

     "Damn it, (Y/n)," you mumble to yourself as you hang your keys, flicking the light on as you kick your shoes off. When you turn around, you scream.

    Seonghwa is there. Sitting on your couch with something sad in his eyes, mixed with something... darker.

    "Sweet Mary!" You yell, dropping your phone and bag to the floor. "Hwa?"

    "Hey."

  "H-hey?! What do you mean 'hey'?What are you doing in my apartment?!"

    He gestures to the food on your table infront of him, "Lin's Express."

    "Hwa, please... Don't make me say it again."

    "Please," he stands up quickly, tears in his eyes, "please! Can we just talk? Face to face? I need... I need to know..."

    You suck your lips in, scratching your head as you take in his appearance. He looks... well, wrecked. Like he hasn't slept a wink and he's been crying.

    You already know that you won't change your mind. But you suppose that your text message wasn't the best way to end things. You suppose it's fitting to end things where they started.

    "Fine, we can talk."

   He falls to his knees and bows to you, his forehead on the floor. "Oh, thank you, Baby, thank you, thank you."

    It's silent for a while as you eat, and you can tell he wants to say something; wants to say a lot of things.

    He waits until you're both done eating to do so.

    "I met with Yejin earlier." He says quickly. "I told her I needed closure. To know why you broke up with me."

     "What?" That must be why she canceled your plans.

    "I met her at her office. She told me about Namsun. Told me how he fucked you up so bad that you didn't even trust her for a while. Said that you were probably just relapsing with your trust issues." He speaks slowly, you can barely hear him over the thudding of your heart.

   His figure is starting to get blurry. From your tears and from... something else. Something making your limbs heavy as well. "I don't blame you for not telling me, Baby. I wish you had, but I can see why you didn't. My poor Baby had to deal with such an evil caregiver-"

    "Hwa-"

    "Yejin told me a lot, actually. She opened up like a book. I don't think she's told a lot of people, cause she went on and on. She told me how you met him in school and fell in love and let him into your safe space... your little space. And he corrupted it. Took away your comfort items when you did the smallest thing wrong. Didn't encourage you to be childish. Did nasty things to you..."

    "Hey-"

  "She told me how many times she had to patch up your wounds and help you cover bruises. She told me everything, Baby. She told me about the night you finally ended it with him. How he threw you through the kitchen table and left you for dead. She was so angry, she really cares about you. She was so angry that she cursed his full name and prayed that God burn down his place of work."

    "Why are-"

   "I went there. I went to the restaurant he works at. I got a table. And I waited. I waited until he finally clocked in. Then I sat there and watched him. When they closed, I followed him out. I followed him for a long time. I didn't know what I was going to do, I just knew it was something. He stopped at the edge of the river to smoke a cigarette. And I came up to him. He was an asshole, immediately. I asked him if he knew (Y/n). He said 'I fucked that bitch up good.' And then... I stabbed him in the throat. Again and again and again. When he finally fell over, I got ontop of him and did it more. How dare he speak about you like that, that's all I could think. I wanted to destroy him. And I... I did! I stabbed that bastards neck so many times that his head came off. There was blood everywhere. It was horrible. But the funny thing is, I didn't feel anything. Not a thing. Because he had it coming. He hurt My Baby. So I cut his fucking head off and shoved his useless ass in the river. I'm telling you the truth. I killed that worthless fuck. And I don't regret anything."

He looks you in the eyes the entire time he speaks, holding your head still by cupping your cheeks as you try to look away. He doesn't look away as you begin sobbing and hyperventilating. He doesn't look away. "Don't you get it? You told me that you believe in destiny! This is destiny. Let me love you."

You gasp for air, turning your head back and forth to shake the murders hands away from you. "Oh, god!"

"Shhhh," he kisses your forehead, squishes your cheeks gently. His hands are clean, but you know that they'll always be stained with blood.

     "Do-don't touch me!" You stand up hastily, and the world spins around you.

    "Careful, Baby. Those pills I slipped into your food can make you dizzy-"

    You fall to the floor with a thud before he can reach you. You yell and push at him increasingly weakly as your body gets heavier by the second.

    This has to be some sort of fucked up nightmare. This can't be real. This can't be happening. He can't be doing this-

    But it is. He is.

    He drags your limp figure to the couch and lays you down, wiping your tears with his thumb. "Don't worry, Baby. It's just enough to knock you out."

    "Wh-at the fuck, Hwa?" You whimper as fear finally hits you full force. Primal, bone chilling fear as your body stops listening to your commands. Your vision is spiraling and steadily becoming blurrier and darker.

    "Don't worry, Baby," he repeats himself, leaning over you. His face is the last thing you see before sleep takes you, his voice ringing in your ears —

    "I'll take care of you. Just like I promised."

❝Serendipity❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

[xjulixred45x]

Hello I was wondering If you could write Yandere Beelzebub and Qin Shi Huang from Record of Ragnarok with female Kanao Tsuruyi reader from Demon Slayer?

Imagine finding out her past.

YES!! You guys have no idea how i loved the round 7 and 8, I LOVED THIS MOTHERFUCKERS!!

Yandere!Qin Shi Huang/Beelzebub x Kanao! Reader

Genre: Headcanons

Reader: female

Warnings: YANDERE, Yandere content, Yandere behaviors, unhealty mindset, overbearing behavior, overprotection, Reader has a background like Kanao of KNY, so this Will contain mentions of Child abuse/violence, poverty, and slight traficking of children. Be Warned. Strange amount of FLUFF by the end.

Qin Shi Huang

• I think it's much more likely that Qin, rather than meeting Reader when he's in Valhalla, met her when he was alive, specifically when Chun Yan came into his life.

• Chun Yan was very adrift after what happened with her son, however, one day when she went to the market, she came across something unpleasant. A man leading a little girl tied up, as if she were a dog.

• This girl, as you can guess, was Reader.

• Chun Yan didn't even think about it when she broke the guy's jaw, telling him he was a pig for buying a girl so young, taking the rope off him and taking Reader on her shoulders before running away.

• You could say that Chun Yan is Reader's Shinobu here. She's the one who bathed her, dressed her and was generally her mother and teacher until they met Yin Zheng.

• Honestly, Reader was prepared for a hellish and capricious child, but she ran into this mass of nerves. She couldn't help but empathize with his situation, so she tried to befriend him.

• This was the first real interaction with another child their age FOR BOTH, Zheng was used to being ignored and looked down upon for being a “cursed child” and reader was so reserved and scared of the world that she didn't like to socialize. So at first neither of them knew what to do.

• Luckily for Zheng, reader didn't have the same kind of stigma as other people, she never saw him as different because of his background, and she wanted to be his friend sincerely, so Zheng began to become very attached to her.

• During the two years that Chen Yan was their bodyguard and caregiver, she could notice how they had become very close.

• On the one hand, reader really only talked to Zheng, he was one of the few people she felt safe with (along with Chen of course), and Zheng showed his more cheerful and playful side when reader was around.

• Doing things like giving lots of hugs, kisses on the forehead or face, bringing her nice things he found outside, etc.

• There were times when Chen would come back from an errand and find the two of them asleep in Zheng’s bed, cuddling, very close together…

• It was something that worried Chen to a certain extent, how they seemed to have no notion of the limits in terms of closeness, or how Zheng reacted when Reader was not within reach, his reaction when other people were mean to Reader…

• Because of that, Chen refrained from telling the prince about how she and Reader had met, since, knowing him, that would send him into a frenzy. And while his current behavior was… strange, it was nothing too worrying.

• Now, when Chen died, reader really had nowhere to go, so she stayed with Qin, where while she didn't have any status like the other nobles, she received plenty of luxuries and privileges, clothing, food, and accessories with a quality (and resemblance) similar to that of the emperor.

• That, plus their lack of limits regarding displays of affection (especially PHYSICAL affection) made many generals and other nobles insist that Qin get married as soon as possible, or at least, take a concubine (from the nobility).

• And Qin, being the little shit that he is, had them talk to him about all this with reader on him lap, while they ate.

• And guess what his response was?

• “I thought it was obvious that I'm only interested in marrying (Kanao)”

• And reader: “UHHHU!?”

• MOTHERFUCKER THOUGHT THEY WERE ALREADY MARRIED (partly).

• Generally speaking, having Qin Shi Huang, of all characters, as a Yandere is a wild ride, especially when he finds out what Chen tried so hard to hide about reader's past.

• Qin is many things, one of them being overprotective, so he takes the issue of reader's parents very seriously, although he assures her that he won't do ANYTHING that she has to worry about (the execution will be private and on some far away mountain so their corpses are to be eaten by animals--)

• He's a Yandere that goes from 0 to 100 very quickly.

• He enjoys that reader is so closed off and doesn't like to socialize much, it saves him work. After all, if it were up to him, she would stay in the palace with him all day, so it's nice to see her accepting this position willingly.

• Despite this, I feel like Qin likes to show off his partner, but only in specific situations where he also goes out. And he won't tolerate things like catcalls or lascivious looks. They will suffer the same fate as the reader's parents :)

• Both Qin and the reader are used to personal space being non-existent, but considering that the reader is a volunteer (in this fic at least), that makes that be SQUARED, literally the man takes his woman everywhere, she's like his emotional support.

• Thanks to this, the reader is spoiled beyond belief, if there's something that the reader wants or likes, she'll most likely get it that same day or tomorrow at the latest.Things like customized Hanfus, hairpins made of special materials, ladies-in-waiting who do everything for her, etc.

• I got this random idea that Qin likes to feed reader directly(with the chopsticks), even going so far as to taste her food first in case of poisoning (if it turns out to be poisoned, he gives it to someone he dislikes to eat, kills two birds with one stone!).

• Overall, since Qin knows how to cover his tracks, reader lives happily with her husband. It's not such a bad life after all

Beelzebub

• Now, Beelzebub is a different case, it is much more likely that he meets the reader when she is an adult. Maybe through her equivalent to Shinobu.

• We know that Beelzebub is very involved in the whole genetics and science thing, all to find something that can kill him. It wouldn't be crazy to think that at some point he wanted to resort to poisons to test if they would be enough to end his life (not being a direct threat).

• And for that, he needed the resources of someone versed in the subject, so he turned to this Shinobu (I'm going more for Guilla Tofana, a very famous poisoner). What he didn't take into account was that she brought a partner with her.

• That's right, reader.

• To be honest, at first Beel was a bit upset, because Guilla had told him that she was her apprentice, and he didn't want to have to deal with someone inexperienced while he worked.

• Because of this, at first Beelzebub didn't even speak to her, or if he did it was to ask her where her teacher was. He genuinely had no interest at first.

• However, Reader stayed out of the way, taking notes on everything, not interfering even once.

• She wasn't just any subordinate to Guilla, that much could be seen, but she watched everything around her very closely.

• It was better than what he had originally expected, but it was definitely... weird. New.

• Because of this, Beelzebub felt more comfortable talking to her, at first about general aspects of the experiments, although from time to time he would let out some frustration every time an experiment failed.

• Thanks to this, Reader tried to help in small ways, whether it was organizing the research documents, cleaning, bringing new samples with her notes.

• Things that Beelzebub didn't let go unnoticed, in a way it made him less stressed.

• The relationship became more cordial, even friendly.

• However, there was something that felt… off.

• Reader could tell when the place she had cleaned or organized had been turned upside down, and that happened quite often, all to spend more time in the lab. That was the least of it, she would have almost found it cute, if it weren't for other… attitudes.

• There were times when Reader and Beel would have a casual chat, and she could feel him tensing up whenever she mentioned certain people, people she spent too much time with, who she sometimes didn't come around to since she liked to hang out with them.

• Other times Reader could tell that some of her things had gone missing, like her hair ornament, and she only went missing when she went to work.

• The real red flag was when said people either disappeared or, at worst, were victims of a horrible murder, their chests ripped apart.

• There was no doubt about it, it was he. Satan. Beelzebub.

• However, it wasn't going to be easy to just walk away from him.

• Believe me, Beelzebub is almost as scared as the reader, really! At first he was so scared that since he started loving her, she would be a victim of Satan, however, she doesn't have to worry now, he will make sure that she never gets hurt! He would NEVER!

• If she agrees to stay with him until he finally dies (willingly or not), fulfilling the last wish of a demon who seeks death, he will make her as happy as he can while he lives, even at the cost of his own suffering.

• As you noticed, this relationship is screwed in many ways.

• Beelzebub is a pretty masochistic Yandere, since even if the reader hates him, he is happy as long as she is satisfied, she can harm him however she wants, hurt him, it doesn't matter, he can heal. As long as she is satisfied with his suffering, he is happy.

• He is a self-indulgent Yandere, as you can see. For the first time, someone he loves doesn't die, so you can bet he's making the most of this... in his own way.

• This is still Beelzebub, not much of a filter, kind of awkward and shy, just more obviously homicidal.

• On that note, he tries to make reader as comfortable as possible, tries to be as non-threatening as he can, tone down his tendencies a bit, go out and have normal "dates," things so she understands that he does everything based on love.

• He also shares various results of his experiments with her, just wanting to bond over something that once united them. Sometimes when Beel ends up falling asleep on his desk, reader covers him with a blanket, as a small show of empathy.

• Beelzebub acts less erratically when reader opens up about her past, how she ended up in Valhalla, etc. He tries to be more empathetic (even if it's not his thing) and not go straight to the blood (because he doesn't want to scare her).

• Beel clings to the reader a lot, especially when he remembers Lucifer and Lilith, and needs to hold on to something, he goes to her. Crying and shaking, he no longer looks like the fearsome lord of the flies, he looks like a scared child.

• It's the kind of moment that makes it more likely that the reader will have Stockholm syndrome.

• In that case, Beelzebub couldn't be happier!

• At least now, he'll have someone who will love him until he finally dies...who knows, maybe even after.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

[thistlecatfics]

Remus & Harry's fight in DH with the lens of lycanthropy as CSA

I revisited the fascinating Remus vs Harry fight in DH for my ‘Andromeda hates Remus’ mini meta, and now I keep thinking about it from the lens of lycanthropy as childhood sexual abuse. 

I love using fiction as a way to stretch my empathy muscles (which sounds pretentious and sanctimonious but it’s true!), and it’s taken me a while to really figure out how to find empathy for Remus here. He literally blasts Harry and makes Harry hit his head so hard he develops a big lump! Because Harry rightly calls him out on running away from his pregnant wife! Because it’s hard for me as the reader to see how Remus feels because being a werewolf just… doesn’t seem all that bad? Or at least not disgusting, even if it obviously carries societal stigma? 

A lot of people hate the lycanthropy as CSA thing precisely because there’s this implication that you are then cursed to perpetuate the violence, but I think it’s still a worthwhile way to understand Remus. I’m not going to make a grand text based argument for the metaphor. I just like it because I like using fiction as a way to work through my own stuff. 

Someone does something to you as a kid, something bad, and you carry that around for the rest of your life and you feel like it marks you as different from others and disgusting at your core and probably dangerous too. Most of the time you look normal – which just makes you feel like you’re a liar because you know you’re disgusting and isn’t it terrible that you’re lying all the time and letting people believe you’re alright? But you carry it, hidden, all of the time. 

(Plus, the obvious of Fenrir in the night targeting children, how Draco who has worked to let Death Eaters into Hogwarts in HBP is afraid of the idea of letting Fenrir into a school etc.) 

Many survivors (including nearly all CSA survivors I know who are men or lesbians) have at some point held a deep fear about some latent predatory nature that might take over and lead them to hurt people/children/women in the same way they were hurt. Desire feels dangerous.

So for Remus, the idea that he might pass along lycanthropy to his unborn child is not just “my child might be a werewolf” but “I just deeply harmed a child.” Not just any child. My own child. A baby.

Trauma brain is saying: I let myself relax. I put down my guard and let myself act like a normal person and stopped seeing myself as something disgusting and dangerous and who needs to be set apart from others. I let myself be loved. And what was the result? I did this to a child, just like it was done to me. It feels internally for Remus like he just sexually abused a child.

Even if logically he knows that cannot possibly be an accurate understanding, trauma brain is insistent. He just did the one unspeakably bad thing he hates most in the world.

No wonder he wants to run from that possibility. No wonder he wants to try to risk his life for a noble cause instead of facing the possibility. No wonder he’s so agitated that, when pressed by Harry, he blasts him against a wall. 

I’m not arguing that everyone needs to read his actions this way, and, like I said, I totally get why people hate the lycanthropy as CSA metaphor thing. But Remus's actions only start to make sense to me when I take that lens, and it’s the lens which allows me to feel closest to him and feel the most empathy for him here.

[leahkentwriter]

Backstories for girls and women in stories that *don't* involve sexual assault.

I beta read a lot, and am involved in writing communities of various kinds, and I briefly taught English way back in the day, and I consume storytelling media in general - and one of my biggest pet peeves is sexual assault backstories. While I think this is improving, it's still annoying to me that a lot of writers (of all genders, but particularly men) fall back on a sexual assault backstory whenever they need to make a girl or woman in a story complicated or haunted or fucked up in some way.

Unless your story is dealing with the topic of sexual assault in some way, please don't use it as a way to give a character depth or angst.

Here are some prompts, just to get you started with some ideas.

Why would a woman be trying to escape her past? Why would she be seeking a fresh start?

She hated her small town; the people there didn't understand her and she never felt like she fit in - she's queer, she has a weird birthmark, she's got unique interests, she has magical powers, etc.

She's a criminal - she robbed banks or stole cars and she wanted a fresh start

She was an addict and hurt people, and she wants a fresh start now that she's sober

Her parent is a criminal or an addict and she's trying to outrun the stigma of being related to them

She didn't get along with a stepparent and skipped town as soon as she turned 18

She had big dreams of being something else, and left to pursue them

Her childhood home was haunted, but no one believed her

She got married young then divorced, and wants to start over somewhere that no one knows her

Heartbreak of any variety - she's leaving a place that reminds her too much of someone she lost or couldn't have

She wants better; maybe more money, or a career, or simply a higher quality of life

Some other violent tragedy occurred - a school shooting, an explosion at the plant, police brutality, her best friend was killed, etc.

Her hometown no longer exists (climate change, the main factory shut down, it was overrun by rabid squirrels, etc.)

What would make a woman distrustful of others?

Heartbreak; being lied to, cheated on, left for her best friend, etc.

A big betrayal - her former best friend told everyone a secret about her, someone weaponized her trauma or her past or a major flaw she's sensitive about, etc.

She witnessed a traumatizing event as a child

Her mother was a grifter and used her as part of her scams

One parent cheated on the other and broke up the family

Her older brother isn't dead after all, he was disowned for being gay and now she's questioning everything her parents ever told her

She has problems with her memory, and is never quite sure what the truth is

She's bad at reading people and has been taken advantage of

She finds out a dark secret about someone she loves and is having trouble processing it

She gradually comes to see that someone she idealized as a child is not at all what they seem

Someone she thought was a good, kind, and genuine person is arrested for a terrible crime

Spiritual abuse - the worldview she was taught was right turns out to be exploitative, represses women, etc., so she leaves

What would cause a woman to have mental health issues?

Any form of abuse - doesn't have to be sexual

Her parents had really high expectations that she couldn't live up to

It simply runs in the family

Survivor's guilt - she survived something that someone else did not

She was bullied and no one protected her

Her parents were very controlling and destroyed her confidence

Her sibling was the golden child and she was the scapegoat

She's had issues since childhood but her parents refused to admit there was anything wrong with her, so she didn't get help

Being a part of any oppressed group of people who experience discrimination - she's a person of color, she's an immigrant, she's got a disability, she's queer, etc.

Any major trauma, either witnessed or being a part of - weather events and natural disasters, infrastructure collapse, crashes and accidents, fires, a shooting or a murder, etc.

You're a writer - get creative. There are lots of ways to traumatize and haunt a girl/woman character without having to resort to a sexual assault backstory. You can even make her the problem! Maybe she's the one who did something bad and is trying to outrun the guilt.

Let's also let go of the idea that it's meeting and falling in love with a man that saves her from her trauma. Let her have a healing arc that doesn't involve a man - a love story can still be there, but it can't be the magic healing balm that fixes her. Make her have to save herself. Give her autonomy to both make her own mistakes, and improve her own situation. Don't let your man go into savior mode - let him get frustrated with her. Let her push him away without him clinging to her in a desperate bid to show her what unconditional love is. Don't let him be a martyr to her trauma.

Women are complicated for many reasons. We have trauma for many reasons. We have mental health issues for many reasons. We may want to escape our past for many reasons. We're angsty and weird for many reasons.

Please pick literally anything other than sexual assault.

[f1ghtsoftly]

All The Women’s News You Missed This Week

2/3/25-2/10/25

The world braces for the end of USAID funding, which will have particularly devastating consequences for women and LGBT people. Gov. Hochul, of New York, moves to protect doctors who prescribe abortion pills out of state. Rugby director fired in Fiji over homophobic comments about female players. Trump bans transgender women from female sports, NCAA changes policy in response. A Saudi graduate student is released after being jailed for tweets supporting Women’s Rights. In a horrific incident of male violence, prisoners in the Congo broke free from jail to commit mass atrocities against their female inmates.  

Want this in your inbox instead? Subscribe here

Action Steps: 

PETITION: Decriminalise Abortion  (UK) 

CONTACT: Congressman Robert B. Aderholt (AL-04) introduced the Protect Funding for Women’s Health Care Act in the House of Representatives Wednesday.  

You can contact Robert here and share your thoughts, especially if you live in Alabama’s 4th District (northwest AL.) 

BOYCOTT:  We cannot cheer on Afghanistan’s cricket team when Afghan women are being silenced (UK) 

Reproductive Rights: 

WATCH: New York Gov. Hochul signs bill shielding doctors who prescribe abortion pills 

Rape crisis centers see funding delays amid Trump administration spending upheaval

Trump Reinforces the Hyde Amendment, Making Reproductive Rights More Precarious  

Lawmakers debate new constitutional amendment banning abortion in Missouri 

Women’s Rights: 

How USAID freeze could be the most catastrophic for women and girls 

Christian Nationalist Wesley Todd Doesn't Want Pregnant Women Serving In Office : "That's Stupid"

Taliban raids and suspends Afghanistan’s only nationwide women’s radio station

 Cuny graduate school rolls back pregnant students’ protections after Trump letter

NASA Ordered to Remove Anything About ‘Women in Leadership’ From Its Websites: Report

LGBTQ: 

Impact of Executive Order Pausing U.S. Foreign Aid on LGBTQI+ People

Trump signs order banning transgender women from female sports

NCAA changes transgender athletes policy after Trump ban

Uganda’s LGBTQ community faces anxiety and uncertainty after U.S. aid freeze

Fiji rugby director fired for women's team 'gay problem' remarks

Rejected elsewhere, these LGBTQ Jews find love and acceptance in the Connecticut woods

The transgender care fight targets more adults as Georgia and other states weigh laws

Argentina’s president bans gender-affirming care for people under age 18

Women in the News: 

WATCH: Protesters torch ex-Bangladesh PM's home 

Doctor accused of criticizing Russia’s war in Ukraine is convicted and given over 5 years in prison

I will not stop working, Anna Wintour tells King

 Rebuilding my home in Gaza as Trump wants me to leave

Seven women among Seanad Éireann nominees

Search of house for missing woman ends

Philippines feud escalates as lawmakers vote to impeach vice-president 

Male Violence: 

More than 100 women raped and burned alive in DR Congo jailbreak, UN says

Woman's deepfake betrayal by close friend: 'Every moment turned into porn'

Black women face high domestic violence rates, but stigma keeps many silent, support groups say

In Bangladesh, Islamists Are Stepping up Actions Against Women

New allegations Diddy sexually assaulted minor in nightclub

When is Sean 'Diddy' Combs' trial and what is he charged with?

Sexual violence against children in Haiti rises by 1,000%, UN says

Man furious over dating app rejection breaks into Pennsylvania home steals woman’s pug and kills it in a rage 

Anglican Church in South Africa admits failures in handling of sexual abuse claims

Celebrity butt-lift injector who left women with sepsis exposed by BBC 

Mumsnet targeted with child sexual abuse images

'His hands were everywhere' - women accuse surviving Fayed brother of sexual assault 

Play-fight claim dad jailed for murdering daughter

Five sentenced to death in Nigeria over 'witchcraft' murder

Neil Gaiman's ex-wife denies trafficking allegations

Women Getting Justice??

MoJ apologises for prisoner early release letter

Senator opens inquiry into US Center for SafeSport’s hiring of investigator charged with sex crimes

Southport families 'try to find light in the dark'

Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni lawyers spar during first court hearing 

S Africa church apologises over exposing children to risk from abuser

Historic book of town's witch trials to be displayed 

Arts and Culture: 

Why was Taylor Swift booed at the Super Bowl?

Memoir by former prime minister of Finland, Sanna Marin, to come out in November

Serena Williams crip walks at surprise Super Bowl appearance 

Movie Review: ‘Kinda Pregnant’ is kinda good

Christie Brinkley has a memoir out in April. Yes, it’s called ‘Uptown Girl’

‘Wicked’ star Cynthia Erivo is feted as Harvard’s Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year

Anora star Mikey Madison: Oscar talk is 'overwhelming and amazing'

Apple Cider Vinegar: How Instagram wellness guru Belle Gibson faked cancer – and caused a scandal

'She thought of herself as the Queen of America': Why Mary Todd Lincoln became the US's most vilified First Lady

EMMY to represent Ireland at Eurovision

Women Fighting Back: 

Who is Luisa González? The leftist politician who is again vying for Ecuador’s presidency

 ‘Woman, life, freedom’: the Syrian feminists who forged a new world in a land of war

Don’t Want To “Bury My Child”: Mass Support For Mom Who Burst Into School To Threaten Bully

Meta veteran who spent 15 years at the firm is suing it over a ‘toxic pattern’ of silencing women: ‘I can show what happens when we want more masculine workplaces.’

Saudi authorities free doctoral student initially sentenced to 34 years for tweets, activists say

A mother pleads for Britain’s help in freeing son from Egyptian prison, one day of hunger at a time

Feminist Wins: 

South Africa mourns pioneering female nuclear scientist

Time limit for child sex abuse claims to be removed (UK) 

Feel Good Stories: 

WATCH: Stranded astronaut calls extended stay 'opportunity' to share space life 

'Music is the secret to reaching 105' 

Opinion: 

Why Even a Few Women At The Top Feels Like ‘Too Many'

Sorry, Lily Collins, but when people outsource childbirth, their motives really count

Why I Stopped Using They/Them Pronouns After 13 Years

As always, this is global and domestic news from a US perspective covering feminist issues and women in the news more generally. As of right now, I do not cover Women’s Sports. Published each Monday.

[jiraistalin]

this shows how much stigma there is around mental disorders, even with so-called “mental health advocators.”

hatsune was neglected as a child and had only felt loved by her foster father, and when he died, she had no one. she was alone on her own. she developed an unhealthy attachment to sakiko because of this! we all agreed on it and we're all aware it's UNHEALTHY. so why are refusing to acknowledge that these unhealthy patterns born from childhood trauma can be extremely taboo things? some people have intrusive thoughts about pedophilia, abuse, murder... hatsune was shown to have intrusive thoughts about murder (the scene with mutsumi on ep 9) and everyone clapped because it shows a side of psychological disorders that is extremely stigmatized and not talked about.

now, hatsune is shown to have incestuous feelings for sakiko (something that happens in real life! some people do have inappropriate and illegal thoughts because of trauma) and all you worry about is the fanart? so now no show should be allowed to portray taboo themes as a consequence of traumatic events because “weird fans will make weird art”? everyone was cheering for the DID and BPD representation and how they brought up themes of patriarchal society, grief and possibly even class conciousness but the moment the psychological horror show that was advertised as dark and talks about sensitive themes actually talks about sensitive themes everyone throws a fit over how it's “romanticization” or “uncomfortable” as if the whole point of the show wasn't meant to be uncomfortable because what they portray is very real and does happen in real life.

[maxdibert]

Okay ill go with what you say and admit they did bad things but whys all thst class stuff relevant like okay you like to use that division but its..not everything its all about?

Talking about the relationship between James and Severus without addressing the issue of class is a mistake that perpetuates a partial and distorted view of their conflict. Too often, the bullying that James inflicted on Severus is minimized under the idea of a simple "rivalry," when in reality, the power structure between them was tainted from the start by the material and symbolic inequality that separated them. James Potter, the son of a wealthy pureblood family, raised in an environment of privilege and without economic worries, exercised violence over Severus Snape, a working-class child, abused at home, with evident economic hardships and no social capital to support him. This is not a simple fight between equals, but a clear example of how class structure influences dynamics of abuse and exclusion.

Bullying does not occur in a social vacuum; it responds to the same power structures that govern the adult world. Authors like Bourdieu have developed the concept of capital in its multiple forms: economic, social, and cultural. James Potter had access to all of them. Coming from a wealthy family, he possessed economic capital, which translated into a life without deprivation, new clothes, access to goods and resources, and the certainty that any misstep would not compromise his future. His social capital was even more decisive: he was the son of a respected family in the magical community, with a strong support network and a position of prestige at Hogwarts that protected him from any real consequences for his actions. His cultural capital, reinforced by his pureblood lineage and upbringing in an elitist environment, allowed him to navigate power spaces within the school with ease. None of this was available to Severus Snape.

Severus was a working-class child, the son of an abusive man and an impoverished witch. His patched-up clothing and unkempt appearance were not a choice but the result of his material position. He grew up in a depressing industrial neighborhood, a space marked by precariousness and lack of opportunities. Within the Marxist framework, Snape represented the exploited class: without his own resources, without a support network, and without access to the benefits of the upper class, he could only survive through his intelligence and individual effort. His mixed-blood lineage also placed him in an intermediate position within the magical world, always inferior to the purebloods who dominated Hogwarts' social sphere. This is why talking about a "rivalry" between James and Severus is a misrepresentation of the facts: there was no equality of conditions, no level playing field. What existed was a rich boy using his social and economic power to humiliate a poor boy who had no tools to defend himself.

James Potter's classism is reflected in the way he chooses his victim. He does not harass other students of his same social class; instead, he preys on Severus, who is in an absolute position of inferiority. James exercises his abuse in public spaces, under the gaze of other students, aware that his status protects him from any retaliation. It is no coincidence that he is always the one initiating the harassment and that he does so accompanied by his friends, while Snape is alone. This is a classic manifestation of violence exercised from a position of power: it is based on impunity, on the certainty that the system will not intervene in favor of the victim because the aggressor is a legitimized subject within the social structure. James, like any child born into the upper class, learned from an early age that he could do whatever he wanted without real consequences because the world was designed to favor him.

Goffman speaks of stigma as a social marker that defines who is accepted and who is marginalized in a community. Snape embodies the stigma of poverty, domestic violence, and lack of resources. In the Hogwarts imagination, he is someone who does not fit the model of success and prestige represented by children like James Potter. This is key to understanding their relationship: James' aggression is not just personal but structural. Severus is not just Severus; he is the poor boy, the dirty boy, the boy who has no allies, the boy who will never be part of the winners' circle. In this sense, the violence he receives is not an isolated phenomenon but the manifestation of a hierarchy that placed him at the bottom even before he set foot in Hogwarts.

The argument that James "matured" and "changed" over time does not nullify the fact that his youthful violence was possible thanks to his privileged position. Within the meritocratic logic often applied to his story, we are told that James became a better person and that, therefore, his past should be excused. But this ignores that the underlying problem was never just his attitude, but the system that allowed his abuse to occur without consequences. When James finally "grows up," he has already enjoyed years of prestige, power, and acceptance. His change is not the result of a struggle against the system but a smooth transition within the same structure that always benefited him. Meanwhile, Severus remains trapped in the logic of the dispossessed: still alone, still marginalized, still without the resources to rewrite his story.

From a Marxist perspective, the story of James and Severus is not just a story of two children in conflict. It is the story of how social class defines who has the right to dignity and who must fight for it every day. It is the story of how the violence of the privileged is treated as "youthful pranks" while the anger of the oppressed is seen as a threat. It is the story of how the impunity of power allows the victors to write history and how those who have been humiliated are the ones who must bear the weight of their own suffering.

For this reason, no, there can be no talk of rivalry between James Potter and Severus Snape. Not when one had everything and the other had nothing. Not when one could exercise violence without fear and the other had to endure it without hope for justice. Not when the story of one is remembered as that of a reformed hero and the other as that of a resentful man without redemption. Because history, as always, is written by the victors. And in the world of Harry Potter, as in our own, the victors are almost always those born with privilege.

[green-tea-in-absinthe-bottle]

AVENTURINE NSFW ALPHABET

(+18 content under cut)

General masterlist

Aftercare

Gets overstimulated during sex and can't stand being vulnerable and naked for long after it (he is traumatised, ok?), so he won't cling to you naked for hours. Instead he prefers to take a quick shower with you, follow expensive skincare routine (yes, he shares his products with you) and sleep together with just your hands touching. If you let go of his hand in your sleep he will wake up immediately and reach out for you. You have matching pyjamas.

If you are too tired for any of this he will put a blanket over you and bring his cats so you can cuddle them while he sits on the bed next to you and whispers sweet nothings, playing with your hair. If you ask him to read a book to you he will do so happily, he didn't get many chances to read in captivity. If you share your favourite books with him he will be over the moon and your connection will be so much deeper.

Body part

His body is full of painful reminders of his past. Scars litter his beautiful skin, marks from cuffs covered with his bracelets and watch, teeth he had to replace after years on not being able to take care of them and this stigma burned into his neck. He has a hard time looking at himself in the mirror. His eyes are both all he has left of his people and the excuse for others to hurt him, like a bullseye pointing out his origin and shit he went through. His left hand a sacred part of his body and reminder of a blessing he can barely take, life poisoned with survivors guilt.

Still, his hands are the most favourite part of his body for Aventurine, he decorates them with rings, bracelets and good quality gloves. At first he avoids touching you with his left hand and with bare hands, but if you give him some time this will change.

In your body he likes your curves and your hands as well. He was raised in harsh conditions, it was hard for anybody to gain weight, so for him it's a sign of health. It doesn't matter if you are chubby, muscular or just an average looking person, as long as you look nourished and in good health he will like it. If you have any of those: tendency to blush, thick hips or thigh, voluminous and strong hair, prominent breasts / muscular chest, strong build or exceptional height - he will get obsessed with it.

He loves your hands for how gentle you are with them when you touch him. Has a thing for artists hands, if you sculpt, draw or even crochet he loves to watch you work.

Cum

If you are fertile and able to bear a child he's scared of knocking you up because of how much prejudice he goes through, afraid that his children will be treated in the same way. So he makes sure to end either on your body or inside condom. If you are infertile/ unable to bear a kid he actually prefers to cum inside to not make a mess.

Dirty secret

Before becoming a dominant (more about it in kinks part) he wanted to experience how it is to be on the other side of dynamic to see why people submit. The only person he trusted enough with this was dr. Ratio. While being a sub is not something that comes easy to Aventurine due to his trauma and need to be in control for once in his life, he learned a lot about himself and didn't hate the experience. It made him a much better dom and helped him open sexually.

Another dirty secret of his is cumming in his pants during foreplay when he let you lick your slick from his fingers after fingering and you kissed his aventurine ring.

Experience

In times of his tragic youth he saw a lot of abuse in captivity, including sexual abuse. Most of those things he only witnessed but as a beautiful person from disadvantaged background he experienced a lot of disgusting behaviors and comments towards himself as well.

Once he became Aventurine he used seduction to manipulate people but his memories of people who fetishised his helplessnes made him rather closed off so it was all talk and nothing more. He doesn't want anybody to see him naked and weak, desperate and not guarded. So he avoided getting close to people, with exception of Doctor Ratio with whom he found deep mutual understanding and enough common respect to let another human touch him.

To sum up, he doesn't have much of an experience and doubts intentions of anybody who lusts over him. Also your boyfriend kinda has a boyfriend too. It's just my headcannon, don't cancel me.

Fav position

At first he used to put you in positions that made it impossible for you to see his face such as prone bone or doggy. He couldn't stand the thought of somebody watching him lose control and give in to pleasure. Later he introduced more positions, you need to let him do that in his own tempo. Including blindfold in your sex life helped with it a lot once, now he just allows you to see him come undone.

Goofy

Might seem playful before you guys start and during foreplay, but once you guys actually get down to business he is fully concentrated and serious.

Hair

Like his whole body, it's perfectly taken care of. He prefers to keep it either short or completely shaved off.

Intimacy

At first he avoided intimacy at all costs, he used to bind your wrists above your head so you can't touch him cause after years of being deprived of closeness he was so touch starved that sensation of your skin on his overstimulated him in seconds so he fucked you with all his clothes on - just letting his pants slide down.

With time he allows you much more, enjoying your tender caresses over his body, but he will never fully let go of his guard and needs to be in control to be able to concentrate on pleasure.

Jerk off

Despite having lots of pent up tension he does that very rarely, usually he's just too tired after working so hard or he falls asleep while working late. When he has some time for himself he prefers to call you for help instead of doing it on his own, it's more fun like that and he doesn't have to be alone with his own thoughts after he finishes.

If he masturbates it's very quick and almost mechanical, imagines you giving him a blowjob under his desk to get off faster.

Kink

Aventurine always needs to have complete control over situation as a result of his trauma. He is a 100% dominant. Can't stand being vulnerable and unable to decide what is happening to him to a full degree. So he will use soft bondage on you, tying your hands with pretty cords (never with cuffs or anything that could hurt you or bring him bad memories) so you can't touch him unless he allows you to (he doesn't want you to know he's so touch-starved that being touched almost hurts), he will put blindfold on you to control how much of his desperation and desire for you you can see and will make you beg for his touch so you know just how helpless you are compared to him. So you know who is in charge. Years of his captors putting him down planted insecurities in his brain and hearing you pray for his touch is helping him deal with his fear of rejection.

If you decide to worship his body later in relationship when he trusts you enough to give you freedom of movement, he shakes with pleasure. He loves when you are soft with him, because for so long nobody was. Roughness he can take, he is used to that, but this? Your gentle hands make him weak but he won't ever admit that to you.

Has a thing for expensive lingerie that he will himself choose and buy before the evening. He likes finer things in life now that he can afford them and he will make sure you can enjoy them as well. He's the type to buy you diamond necklace and ask you to wait for him with only the necklace on.

He would also want you to dress as a catgirl if you don't find it cringe. He just loves to surroundings himself with adorable things. When you cosplay a cute pet he also feels more in control, cause kittens are weaker than man and at his mercy, meant to be loved by him. He doesn't mean it in creepy way, it's just a display of harmlessness and trust to him.

Location

He might tease you a lot at the casino but will never undress himself or you anywhere else than his apartment.

Motivation

He hates to be alone, Aventurine is very touch starved and lonely person, with almost nobody to trust in this world full of people hating him for being Avgin or trying to undermine his career to take his place. Having sex is the way to get close to somebody without having to bare your soul to them, even if having somebody take a look on his body littered with scars is pretty close to it. He desires your body but still invites you over cause he wants to have some company, sex is just the excuse. If it makes you attached to him, that's even better.

No

Would never be submissive. He is unable to let go of his defenses, needs full control and you are happy to give it to him after he had control over his life taken away for so long.

He gets flashbacks at sight of any chains and cuffs so he won't use them on you, he strictly uses soft and harmless tools for bondage like silk cords.

Won't cause you any pain or force you to do anything, he saw enough of that in his life. He won't do things that in his opinion are a bit to close to abuse or aggressive, he won't even spank you too much or too hard.

Isn't a big fan of marking you with bruises tho he sometimes leaves a hickey or two. Prefers to do so with jewelry.

Don't you even dare to call him Master in the bedroom. Brings bad memories.

He won't let you decide when you introduce new things to bedroom, of course he will respect if you say no to something, but be very careful to not suggest too many new things or he will get distant. He's not half as open as his flirting suggests and really needs time to get used to changes.

Oral

Likes when you give it to him and prove that you care about his pleasure too. He will be in complete control of your pace the whole time. He won't go rough, wants you to enjoy as well. Likes when you worship it, kiss all over the length and take it between your breasts. He wants you on your knees.

He is fair person so he will return the favor times three, but you need to earn it first. He is very willing to show you just what can this silver tongue do, french kissing you down there with fervor.

Pace

Aventurine feels empty inside and tries to feel that void with intense thrills, by playing high-risk games and living fast. So when he fucks he tries to make it hard and fast, but makes it up to you by getting you off faster than anybody else before.

When it's you taking care of him he wants you to take it slow, he doesn't want to lose control over himself completely. You are supposed to be gentle and treat him like royalty.

Quickie

Not a big fan, whatever he does he is always going all the way in. With this all or nothing mentality he despises half-assing his job as your lover. So if he calls for you expect to be up all night.

Risk

Absolutely will not take any risk. While he might gamble with his life on daily basis and is very used to risking everything, he will not bring that persona to bed. He doesn't want to be seen naked by anybody but his most trusted people. He won't show his scars to just anybody so don't even suggest doing anything in public.

Stamina

He has tendency to overdo things and it doesn't get any different in bed. How many rounds can he last? He's already used to pulling all-nighters in work, might as well sacrifice whole night of sleep for your entertainment. How many times can he make you cum before he gets anywhere close to his own release? At least twice.

Toys

Will buy you a good toy to have fun with when he's busy. Of course, it's shape is entirely based on Aventurine's own member. He commisioned it just for you.

Unfair

He can tease you a lot to parade his control over you, make you admit nobody can do you like he can and edge you many times, but he will never humiliate.

Expect him to make you count a pile of coins, not letting you cum the whole time until you are done. All while sitting on his dick.

Volume

Aventurine is not comfortable with you being aware just how desperate you made him so unless he tries to manipulate you with his moan to forgive him or cum instantly he will be rather silent. He's good at that. To let you know you are doing well he praises you with his words.

The only exception is when you worship his body, than he releases quiet but beautiful and slightly high pitched sighs.

Wild card

Due to his innate high emotional intelligence, if he dominates you for a long time he learns your body language and expressions in such detailed way you might think he can read your mind. He knows just how to touch you and has perfect timing for everything. Once you had Aventurine no other man will be good enough.

X-Ray

Average size and thickness, but when he rails you it feels much bigger. Nice deep pink color. Curved with not much bigger tip.

Yearning

Would probably be higher if his job didn't tire him out so much. Expect him to invite you for the night around one or two times a week.

Zzz

Keeps an eye on you all the time and will not fall asleep until you do. Nothing against you, just an old habit. Don't get creeped out. If you point it out your chances of returning to his place go down significantly.

When he isn't alone at night he will have nightmares less often, your company brings him tranquility. If you notice him having nightmare don't wake him up or he will get PTSD response, trying to fight you before noticing it's you who startled him. If he gets scared that he can hurt you he will cut you off.

Aventurine's face if you try to steal his catcakes: