#internal conflict

[deception-united]

Let's talk about internal conflict.

Having clear external conflicts is essential to driving forward your plot, but internal conflicts help add depth and complexity to your characters. They'll make your characters better rounded-out, more believable, and relatable.

Internal conflicts are the struggles, doubts, and desires that exist within a character's mind and heart. They indirectly hinder them from reaching their ultimate goal by influencing their decisions, actions, who they choose to befriend, their fears, or how they react in different situations.

Here are some ways to integrate and determine your characters' internal conflicts:

Explore their desires and fears: Figure out what goals are they striving to achieve and their motivations behind it. From here, delve into their fears and insecurities that could obstruct their progress by causing internal turmoil. This duality adds depth to their personalities and motivations.

Show conflicting emotions: Characters should experience a range of emotions, sometimes simultaneously. They may feel torn between loyalty and self-interest, love and duty, or ambition and morality. Allow these conflicting emotions to drive their decisions and actions, leading to internal tension and growth.

Develop a backstory: Every writer's favourite step. Determine how their past experiences, traumas, and relationships create internal conflict for them. Past events or unresolved issues play a key role in shaping their beliefs, values, and behavior, influencing their present-day struggles.

Use moral dilemmas: Present your characters with ethical dilemmas or moral choices that force them to confront their beliefs and values. These situations can reveal the depth of their character and provoke internal conflict as they wrestle with the consequences of their decisions, as well as providing further insight into their personality and character.

Show internal growth: Allow your characters to evolve and grow throughout the story by facing and eventually overcoming their internal conflicts. Make them struggle. Have them make bad choices out of fear, or love, or jealousy. Force them to deal with the consequences. And turn that—the confrontation of their fears, reconciliation of their desires, the difficult choices—into a transformative journey.

Hope this was helpful! Make your characters suffer ❤

Next

[novlr]

How do I make internal conflict subtle, without being so subtle the readers miss it?

Internal conflict is a vital component of any compelling story. It’s the central axis of any good character arc and drives the narrative forward. However, writing internal struggles effectively without resorting to heavy-handed exposition can be challenging. Here are some quick tips on writing subtle internal conflict.

Show, don’t tell

Reveal a character’s emotions through actions, thoughts, and dialogue.

Use body language and gestures to convey inner turmoil, like fidgeting, clenched fists, or avoiding eye contact.

Write sensory details to immerse readers in the character's emotional experience, like describing the taste of bitterness or the prickling of anxiety.

Incorporate changes in a character's routine or habits that hint at inner changes, like a punctual character being late, or changing taste in music.

Use the character's reactions to their environment as a reflection of their emotions. The same setting might appear grey and dark to one, but bright and vibrant to another.

Use subtext

Write subtext into dialogue, where characters say one thing but mean another.

Drop subtle hints at emotions that readers can infer rather than spelling everything out.

Experiment with non-verbal communication like meaningful glances, pauses, or hesitations.

Invoke subtext through characters' internal thoughts and uncertainties, without the character fully acknowledging their deeper feelings.

Use dramatic irony, where the reader knows more than the character does about their own feelings or situation.

Develop complex characters

Give your characters conflicting desires, values, and goals to naturally generate internal conflict.

Create backstories that reveal past traumas or experiences that continue to haunt and influence their decisions.

Consider using character flaws and contradictions to highlight internal struggles.

Use relationships to create conflicting desires and expectations.

Give your characters both internal and external conflicts to build tension between dealing with personal struggles and outside problems.

Employ inner monologues

Incorporate introspective moments where characters wrestle with their inner demons, doubts, and fears.

Use first-person or close third-person perspectives to allow readers direct access to the character's thoughts.

Balance inner monologues with external action to maintain pacing and engagement.

Use an unreliable narrator so readers try to distinguish between what is a misperception and what is the truth.

Create inner thoughts that highlight the difference between a character's public persona and their private world.

Create moral dilemmas

Force characters to make difficult decisions that represent turning points in their arcs.

Explore the consequences of a character’s choices on their sense of self and their relationships.

Have your character confront a personal sacrifice where they must question their own motives and values.

Have a character balance loyalty and personal integrity, having to decide where their personal morality lies.

Force a choice between self-preservation and the greater good where their choice not only has personal stakes, but story-wide ones as well.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for systems who are troubled by conflict!

Sometimes engaging in or even witnessing conflict can be uncomfortable, scary, or immensely triggering for many systems. If conflict is deeply troubling or disturbing for your system, we want to reassure you and help spread some positivity for you. So this post goes out to those who are upset or troubled by conflict!

⭐️ Shoutout to systems who are easily traumatized or split new headmates due to conflict!

❗️ Shoutout to systems who are learning de-escalation and conflict resolution skills to help them deal with future conflicts!

🏵️ Shoutout to systems who often have to be exposed to conflict from family, friends, classmates, or coworkers!

♦️ Shoutout to those who struggle to manage internal conflict within their own system!

⭐️ Shoutout to systems who are often nervous, tired, on edge, or irritable due to all the conflict going on in their lives!

❗️ Shoutout to systems who have been called weak or sensitive due to being unable to cope with conflict!

🏵️ Shoutout to systems who regularly feel like they need to make sacrifices or tiptoe around others to avoid getting involved in conflict!

♦️ Shoutout to individual headmates who handle conflict worse than the rest of their system!

⭐️ Shoutout to systems who often find themselves dragged into conflict against their will!

❗️ Shoutout to systems who struggle to exist in the online plural community due to conflicts that often arise!

Learning to cope, deal with, and resolve conflict can be challenging for anyone! If your system struggles to deal with conflict of any kind, please know that we are rooting for you and wishing you the very best. We hope that you can find gentleness and compassion in your future, and that, with time, you may find the skills necessary to effectively resolve conflicts, or at least learn how to not take them personally.

Conflict is an unavoidable part of life for nearly everyone, but it truly can be a difficult thing to learn how to manage! For every system who struggles to cope with conflict that they witness or are involved in, we sincerely hope that things get easier for you soon. Thank you so much for reading, and have a lovely day today!

[ssminosblogs]

an unrequited love? maybe yes, maybe no

Izuku has problems with his own romantic feelings

[essycogany]

Guess what surprise both me and @saltynsassy31 cooked up? It’s nothing really. Just an add on to Sonic Prime fanfic we decided to collaborate on. No biggie. Correction! You most definitely can come into our restaurant and serve yourself to this meal with different flavors of emotions. What are they? That’s for you to uncover. We both put our own ideas and mixed them into this dish for you. Enjoy!

For safety reasons we decided to private it on AO3, so you’ll need an account to read it there. But don’t worry, if you want to still read it, here you go!

The Little Things

Summary: Have you ever felt a weight on your shoulders? A tingling sensation throughout your body? A lump in your throat? You get the point. Well, a certain blue hedgehog hero gets the worst of it and feels as if he can’t tell anyone. Does he eventually find someone who can help? Let’s find out.

It was very early in the morning, around 11:00 when a group of friends defeated their greatest foe named Dr. Eggman. It was earlier than they usually fought. Not that it mattered much as the team would be fighting him the very next day after he recovered from his recent defeat. Sometimes Eggman bounced back quicker and attacked twice in the same day, but even a villain needed his rest. It’s become routine at this point, which neither complained about. The evil genius content in finding ways of improving his inventions and the heroes just happy to bask in each other's company. For as long as they were together, every adventure was a special one. They wouldn't have it any other way.

Especially a certain blue hedgehog.

After the battle, everyone went their separate ways. A hero, known as Sonic, went with his friend. A two tailed fox named Tails who was known for his incredible intelligence and inventions. Sonic wanted to crash at his lab on the other side of the island, Green Hills. Tails didn't question why Sonic decided to join him. It wasn't as if he hadn’t done it before. Their relationship was a relatively close one. Sonic, in a way, raised the fox and became a sort of family. He admired him a lot. Not only as a hero but an older brother. And he wasn't ashamed to admit it.

So when Sonic asked Tails if he could come over for the day, he didn't think twice about it. The answer was an immediate yes, before they raced over to his lab. Even if they knew who the obvious winner was.

Once they arrived, Tails went straight to working on the Tornado. Trying to find ways he could improve upon it based on their latest battle. There were always ways to improve it, even if his friends told him it was already perfect. Sonic climbed up the ladder above the workshop and sat on it. Making himself comfortable as he idly watched his little brother work on his favorite toy.

Sonic couldn't help but smile, watching the way the fox's ear twitched at every creak of the gears. His twin tails smoothly flowing beneath him like they were soft clouds. How his brows furrowed in concentration. Or how he would sometimes stick his tongue out to better focus. Quite the adorable sight, if he was being honest. It was these little things he took for granted and missed the most. He'd never make that mistake again. It’s what Sonic swore to himself the moment he returned to his world, his home. Speaking of, it had only been more than a few weeks since the “incident” happened. Just the thought of it had his insides doing backflips.

Sonic could feel the phantom sensation of his skin fading and fizzing out. Almost by instinct, he reached to wrap his arms around himself to somewhat ground him as he averted his gaze from the small fox below in favour of the window. He wasn't looking at anything in particular; Sonic just didn't want Tails to catch him staring.

He’d gone several nights without sleep and when Sonic did they were restless. Images of his friends and their many variants, the lifeless shell of his own group of friends repeating themselves over and over in an endless loop, like a broken record. It was haunting. His dreams, or rather, nightmares, consisted of him wandering in that empty, blueprint world alone trying to call for his friends. Not even Shadow was there to give him a beat down, shake him awake from that awful place. He'd cry for them and try to bring them back to their senses, but to no use. Then a loud, piercing laughter of a cunning fox would ring through the fields as it all began to fall apart. Hills and trees flying off into the cracking sky that he'd desperately try to hold into place, but there was only so much a lone hedgehog could do.

Other times he'd be having a normal day out when all of his friends would suddenly freeze up and the world got drained of its color. He'd watch as all of his friends looked at him panicked and confused before anger clouded them, blaming Sonic for what was happening. Part of him knew it was warranted.

Sometimes Sonic wondered if it happened at all. If everything was just a convoluted nightmare he was forced to live through.

But Shadow never really let him forget it. Not that they talked much after everything, but it was clear that things had changed between them. For the better, thankfully. But he was living proof that it indeed happened.

That didn’t stop Sonic’s thoughts from swirling, though. He’d wonder about the others, worry if he’d lose it all again. He wouldn’t know what to do with himself if he lost everything all over again. He couldn’t, and the mere thought made him break into cold sweat.

Sometimes his brain reminded him the only reason he was even here was by luck alone. Shadow did most of the work after all. Heck, Sonic wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him! He barely remembered the trip back, only the sizzling, static pain and the wind passing through him. The mere thought of it made Sonic’s brain hurt. He brought his hands to his head, trying to ease the throbbing in his skull. While doing his best to muffle a pained groan.

Sonic couldn’t do this. He couldn’t live the rest of his life in constant paranoia of any day being the last. Not allowing himself to fully enjoy the good, peaceful moments because he’d waste time worrying himself. He would do his best to force more enjoyment out of life. If only because he didn’t want to leave in regret, which was already an old friend to him. Stuck in his own paradox. Sonic scoffed. The word brought a bitter taste to his mouth. He was home now, and he wouldn’t let anything or anyone ever take it away from him again. Even if it was by his own fault, he’s done more than enough to prove himself capable, right?

A few hours of this torture passed. Sonic’s sense of awareness was so bad, he couldn’t recall what day of the week it was. Let alone an hour. Sonic let out a shaky exhale as he stretched his legs out first from the ladder. Then his arms before jumping down, startling the busy fox. Tails rolled out from underneath the Tornado, and lifted his goggles to look at his friend. His head tilted. “Sonic?”

“Yo, Tails. You don’t mind me heading off for a sec, do ya?” Sonic shot the fox with what he hoped was a convincing smirk, his signature look. But it only came off as fake and caused his cheeks to hurt.

Tails looked him up and down for a moment. His lips curled into something Sonic has come to learn as worry. It made him feel slightly guilty, but he tried not to falter, making a conscious effort of keeping his tail and ears from giving off too much of his internal struggles.

After what felt like an eternity, Tails shrugged and put his goggles back down, seemingly finding nothing of note in Sonic’s sudden want to depart.

“Alright, be back in time for dinner.”

Sonic chuckled, feeling himself becoming more laxed. A genuine smile took over the forced one at the small joke. “Very funny, Tails. When did you become my guardian?”

Tails rolled his eyes without answering. Then pressed the button to let Sonic out before laying down and rolling back under the Tornado to continue his work. But as Sonic was about to turn around and dash off, Tails quickly got back up.

“Wait!”

Sonic turned around to face him. “Yeah, bud?”

There’s a moment of silence. Tails seemed to ponder his next words carefully, looking like he wasn’t quite sure if he should say anything. He bit the bottom of his lip and rubbed his index finger with his thumb. Trying to find the right words, he looked anywhere except Sonic himself, until they suddenly locked eyes.

Tails was smart, he noticed the little things, as he always does. But he couldn’t find the right words he needed to convey that. And even if he did, the probability of him getting an answer from the stubborn hedgehog was zero to none. He gave out a heavy sigh as he broke off their staring contest, looking away with solemn resolve. Maybe this wasn’t the right time. He shook his head and gave an awkward smile as he rubbed the back of his neck. Then waved Sonic off with the other. “Never mind, just be careful out there.”

Sonic gave Tails a puzzled look, but shrugged it off. Not wanting to push on the already stiff atmosphere. He winked and gave Tails a single finger gun.

“Will do. Catch ya later.” And before Tails could blink, he was gone. A puff of dust was the only indicator of Sonic being there.

Tails let out another defeated sigh, his shoulder sagged as he dropped back down the creeper and rolled under the Tornado to resume his work. “I hope he’s okay.” He mumbled to himself.

The late afternoon sun painted the landscape of Green Hills in an array of pinks, purples, and blues. A soft, gentle breeze made the grass and flowers dance gently in place. Blowing the heat of the morning away. It made for a calming atmosphere to relax in, but it wasn’t enough to calm Sonic’s nerves.

He could feel his skin sizzling, fading from existence. The phantom pain of every punch he got from faces he once knew as friends bruising his very soul. It made him shudder, and no amount of running would make it go away.

He hoped the brute force of the wind would numb the pain, numb his thoughts. He tried to focus on the sharp breeze against his skin, the way the grass felt under his footsteps as it pushed against it to go faster. Sonic tried to see if slowing down would help instead, as running from his problems didn’t fix them last time. Only it didn’t, and he would argue it made things worse. So he pushed on. Counting how many times he broke the sound barrier only silenced his thoughts for so long.

Sonic wanted to take a pause, a moment to stop his thoughts from consuming him, but he couldn’t. He felt like an everlasting motor, never running out of fuel. Every thought that’d pop into his head would make him run faster, letting Sonic feel as his heels began to dig into the soft dirt below him, making him sink but never slow down. It honestly didn’t matter where he was going anymore; he just let the wind take him, mind too cloudy to think about the directions. He just wanted to be as far away from people as possible.

The look Tails kept giving him….Sonic didn’t want to worry his little brother, but he couldn’t burden him with what he should’ve told him from the start. Sonic was vulnerable with his emotions, he could admit that, but he knew which ones to display or not…Kind of. He would usually mask his emotions with a punny joke or smart comment, but lately, it’s become harder for him to hold them back.

Sonic eventually came to a halt on the other side of the island. The pain in his heart outweighing the pain in his head to the point he couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t do it anymore! His legs could keep running for days, but his lungs felt constricted against his ribcage and it was like he was being suffocated with every step. He tried to even them out, but each breath was shakier than the other. It was unbearable.

He wanted to claw at his throat, gloved hands pawing at his chest in hopes to ease the pain, but it did nothing but make it worse. His vision clouded with tears and with shaky hands, he tried to search for support, feeling the ground beneath him become unsteady. The hedgehog’s expression was almost unreadable. It seemed to be a mix between a grimace and confusion. Sonic wanted to scream, to vomit out all the anguish bubbling inside of him like a roaring storm, but he didn’t. He didn’t want to disturb the peace of the valley, call any attention to him, or signal that he was there at all.

Instead he let himself cry. Thick tears rolled down his cheeks as he slid down to the ground and leaned against the palm tree he initially used for support. He bit down his trembling lips to muffle out the whimpers and hiccups, swallowing any noise that tried to escape him. His ear went flat against his head, tail tight against his leg. He wanted to stay strong, like he was back when he first arrived in New Yoke. He couldn't falter….he couldn’t let himself be weak.

But now it was just him and his thoughts, battling against each other with no distractions. At least, that’s what he assumed.

***

Somewhere else in the island lived a young, pink hedgehog, Amy Rose. Like Tails, she was part of Sonic’s team. She was the heart of the group; the one keeping their team glued together. After the battle, she bid her friends farewell and set out to a little spot she claimed as her own. Along with her companion, Birdie.

The place was located below a small blocky hill, where most of the flowers grew and other small animals gathered around. She watched as Birdie joined its other friends, laying down on a small patch of soft, green grass with a satisfied sigh. It was moments like these which made the hammer smashing worth it. Every battle, every hardship.

Amy wasn’t sure how long she’d spent outside, watching the Flickies and other critters play about the field. At some point she got up to tend to the flowers, something to keep herself busy.

While she worked, a sudden rustling of grass grabbed her attention. Despite that, Amy didn’t move. Didn’t even try to turn around to see who it was. The familiar gust of wind coming with the speed of sound told her exactly who it was, she simply smiled and continued her work. It took a while for the mystery person to speak, which was odd. But Amy figured he might’ve not noticed her there, so she let it be.

She smiled as her feathered friend flew over to her with the exact tool she needed. “Thank you. Remind me to give you a treat when we get home.” The Flickie chirped happily. That seemed to snap some awareness to the person behind her. A small gasp and more rustling of grass indicated they were still there.

“Amy, didn’t expect to see you here. What’s up?” The voice spoke, proving her initial suspicions correct.

“Didn’t we already see each other a few hours ago?”

Sonic clenched at his chest dramatically with a drawled out, offended gasp. “I thought you’d appreciate me here since we don’t hang out much. But if not, then I guess I’ll just head on home and–”

“What are you doing here, Sonic?”

Despite her tone coming off as annoyed, she was actually glad someone had found her. And it was Sonic, no less. Of course she’d be happy to see him over. Though maybe Amy’s tone was a little too harsh because Sonic cringed at the question. He was thankful she was facing forward, so she couldn’t see the falter of his persona. It gave him ample time to fix up his act as he walked up closer to her. He wasn’t quite sure how to respond, so he settled on a half truth.

“You know me. Felt cooped up in the lab, so I went out for a run.”

The pink hedgehog wasn’t convinced, but she didn’t press the issue, not wanting to scare Sonic off knowing she wouldn’t be able to catch him. So she hummed in reply.

Sonic, feeling ignored, awkwardly got on his knees next to Amy and waved at her Flickie friend. It raised its tiny eyebrows at him and he looked away nervously.

“Whatcha doin’ there? Oooh, seeds! Can I have some?”

“Are you going to eat them?”

Sonic gave a faux guilty look, pursing his lips as he glanced up. “Probably~”

“Then no.”

Sonic’s eyes quickly widened as he looked at her. He raised his hands and clasped them together over his chest in a pleading gesture.

“Ahhh, Amy. C’mon, don’t be like that. Please?”

Amy let out a small huff and reluctantly shoved a bag over to Sonic. Who quickly grabbed it after shaking off the initial shock of the sudden action. Birdie gave him a shovel and he responded with a salute. It rolled its beady eyes and flew off.

The two hedgehogs quietly planted the seeds together, basking in each other's presence until the stars began to creep up in the sky. The soft shift between warm to cool colors left a calm atmosphere to blanket over the hills. The breeze became slightly colder than before, blowing away petals to dance with the stars.

Amy looked up briefly before finally patting down some of the dirt over the flower. Letting out a small, satisfied huff as she placed the back of her wrists over her hips proudly.

“That’s the last of them. Thanks, Sonic.”

Sonic smirked. “Are you happy I came now?” He said, unknowingly wrapping an arm around Amy as she playfully hit him on the elbow.

She pulled away from the half embrace and began to make her way towards the edge of the hill. Laying down on her stomach with her ears tucked, Amy smiled at the setting sun. Only the peak of its head layed over the horizon, painting the waters with all its glory. Birdie joined her and sat over Amy’s head, making itself comfortable on her quills.

Sonic stood in the same position as before, a little dumbfounded and unsure of what to do. He looked around for a moment before deciding to join her. He laid on his back, head resting on the soft grass that intertwined themselves with his quills. It eased the headache that split his brain just moments before, but Sonic knew he’d have to go back to the lab eventually. It made the pain linger.

“The sky is really beautiful tonight, isn’t it?”

Sonic didn’t answer.

“Sonic?” Amy turned her head to look at Sonic, wondering if he fell asleep. Something she’d partially hoped for because the eyebags he carried weren’t hard to miss. But what she saw was even more confusing. Sonic had a thousand yard stare, looking up at the stars with no real direction. It was like he wasn’t even there!

“Sonic!”

“AH!”

Amy’s yell made Sonic flinch, snapping him out of whatever daze he was in with a startle. He looked around disoriented before his gaze met Amy’s. For a moment he saw someone else, her expression eerily similar to one of her counterparts. He felt his heart rate spike up for a second, but quickly schooled his expression.

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, it sure is lovely.” He said, a little more rushed than he would have liked.

By the way Amy’s face twisted into a grimace, he knew her leniency towards him to not push the subject had dropped, and he tried to prepare for what was to come.

“Sonic, I didn’t want to say this, but ever since we saved the Paradox Prism you’ve been acting weird! What’s gotten into you?!” There was desperation in her tone, like she had exhausted all her options and was at a loss on what to do.

“I-I’m sorry, alright?”

Sonic felt his legs itch, bouncing just a little as he got the sudden urge to go on another run. But he was tired of leaving his friends in the dark, picking up the pieces he left behind. They didn’t deserve that.

Amy was getting frustrated, clear by how her facial features wrinkled. But when she noticed how agitated the Sonic looked, she felt it all get whisked away, softening to a more concerned expression. It made her feel guilty for yelling. Adding to her soft approach, she sat up and placed a hand over his shoulder.

“I understand you might not want to talk about it, but you know me and the others have your back.”

Sonic rolled over and hit his head against the grass in frustration. It was clear that he was battling himself inside, trying to find the right way to word things, to say or not to say.

Amy sighed, “It’s okay. If you want to wait until you’re ready, I’ll do the same. Take as much time as you need.”

She sat there for a moment longer. Waiting for something before deciding that there was nothing to wait for, not in that moment at least, and began to stand up and make her way out of the field. She hugged herself and rubbed her cold arms to warm them up when a sudden force wrapped itself around her from behind, sending Birdie flying off of Amy’s head and making her stop dead in her tracks.

She was frozen for a moment before slowly moving around and reciprocating the gesture. Amy felt the desperation in the action and how gloved hands grasped at her dress as if she would vanish in thin air. It wasn’t the first time Sonic hugged her in such a way. After the “incident” he did it constantly, and each time it felt more desperate. They were awkward and sometimes overwhelming, and he never failed to thank her each time. It was odd, but she didn’t push. She gave it twice the squeeze. Being much stronger than most of her friends, Amy was usually careful to not hurt them. Not noticing her own strength sometimes. But she knew this was the moment Sonic needed it.

After a while, she pulled away, much to Sonic’s protest, and moved one hand over to cup his face. He looked at her with bleary, emerald green eyes before closing them and leaning into the touch. Seeing Sonic up close now made it abundantly clear he cried earlier. The tears long since dried, meaning it was before he found her. But the fur on his cheeks still felt rough and stiff. The rim of his eyes looked red and puffed up.

“Oh, Sonic.” Amy thought to herself.

She rubbed her thumb against the tear streaks for a moment. Then gazed at him kindly and caring before wordlessly sliding her hand over to his and moved to stand beside him. Birdie looked at the two a little exasperated. Unsure, it tried to gain Amy’s attention for some form of answer. She only gave a shrug and a slight shake of her head. The Flickie flew over to the other hedgehog. With resolve in its expression, it chirped as it rubbed its head against Sonic’s cheek, gaining his attention. Birdie felt satisfaction in its chest at the light and quiet chuckle Sonic gave at the action. A gloved hand scratching its head as a form of gratitude. Sonic still felt too overwhelmed to speak, but he didn’t want such a kind act to go thankless.

The Flickie perched on Sonic’s shoulder and curled up in the crook of his neck, wanting to be of some comfort to Amy’s friend. She gave her own form of thanks through a smile. They walked in tense silence after that, Amy rubbed gentle circles on the back of his hand to try and calm his nerves.

Amy would occasionally glance over at Sonic to check on him, and he never looked more miserable. His ears were loosely flopping to the sides of his head, bouncing gently as they walked. Inside, Sonic was having another war within himself over all his internal struggles and how he wanted to spill everything out. But the lump that formed so tightly inside his throat prevented him from doing so. All it did was make him choke on air and made him want to puke.

He felt his skin start to sizzle again with phantom pain and he couldn’t take it anymore! Like a kettle boiling over, something inside him tipped and he finally managed to spill the needed words out. They felt like sandpaper scratching at the walls of his throat, weighed so heavily on his tongue that it made it hard to lift, and clenched at his jaw like glue, keeping it from opening.

“Uh, Amy…”

But he did it. It was just two words, and they were weak, frail. If the wind was any stronger, it would have taken them away like dead leaves. But it wasn’t, and Amy heard his desperate plea for help.

She turned to him, those big, green eyes looking at him expectantly, a small hum notifying him she was paying attention. They were gentle, kind, warm, everything Sonic loved and feared at the same time. They looked at him with such sincerity, it weighed on him like a heavy blanket, comforting but suffocating. They expected so much, yet nothing at all.

Sonic couldn’t disappoint them, not any more than he already has.

So, he told her.

He told her everything that haunted him, everything that weighed him down. After the first couple of words being rasped out, it was like a dam had been broken and he couldn’t stop it from overflowing. One word after another, it all came out in a fury of emotions that felt terrifying, but there was no stopping them. Or the small tears he didn't even realise were there until Amy kindly wiped them away. It wasn’t crying though, it was frustration, and his words suddenly came out as bites and growls the longer he talked.

Sonic’s rant felt exhausting, like he was drowning in a sea of doubt. Yet solace in a way he had never expected it to be. Amy didn’t talk, didn’t intervene. She just let Sonic get everything out while tenderly giving him reassuring gestures to keep him grounded.

The gentle bumps of Birdie’s head against his and Amy’s soft rubs of his hand helped more than he could thank them for.

Eventually, things began to slow down, and Sonic could feel the grey clouds that surrounded him gently fade away. Allowing him to see things clearly. Strangely, they were right outside the path that led to Tails’ lab, and Sonic wasn’t quite sure when they got there.

Once Amy determined Sonic finished ranting, she spoke up. “Oh wow. You’ve been holding all of that in?”

Sonic looked at her. His disorienting gaze was still unfocused, but he was there. He looked away and scratched his ear in shame.

“I figured pretending everything was fine would help me forget about it.”

“And how did that turn out?”

Sonic cringed a little. “Not great…”

“Does anyone other than Shadow know about this?”

“No.”

Amy was surprised, in disbelief even. She had to ask, just to be sure. “Not even Tails?!”

Sonic didn’t reply, which left Amy fumbling in complete confusion. Mouth agape, trying to find the right thing to say. Not even Tails?! Sonic told that fox almost anything that came to his mind! Shadow knew before his own brother?

“Sonic, we’ve–”

Sonic quickly shut down whatever Amy was about to tell him, with urgency in his voice.

“How am I supposed to tell them?!” The way the pitch in his voice raised caught her off guard. “Hey guys, guess what?! I’ve almost permanently destroyed the entire shatterverse! Luckily, I had Shadow around to help, right?! Please…” He exaggerated a happy tone of voice that almost broke into frustration. The response was so obviously fake that when he dropped to a more annoyed tone, it wasn’t surprising.

Amy felt unsure what to say for a moment, but quietly muttered, “Yeah, but everything’s fine now. You saved us.” Amy swore she could hear a small scoff from him, though it sounded more sad than angry. “More like Shadow saved you guys. I only made things worse.”

Amy let out a frustrated huff, one that the Flickie mimicked as it flew over to her head from Sonic’s shoulder to emphasize their sentiment. They placed their hands and wings over their hips. Amy turned her whole body to face him, making them stop walking for a moment, right in front of the lab. “Hey, blaming yourself isn’t going to help! Both of you saved us, and you’ve changed. That’s an achievement.”

Sonic paused for a moment, eyes wide and hands up in surrender.

“On top of that, you...” Amy stuttered, struggling to find the right words to convey her thoughts. “You sacrificed yourself for them. For us. That’s what makes you a hero, Sonic. I know you still feel awful about shattering the prism. Anyone would. But what’s important now is that you’re doing your best to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Besides, the Sonic I know is still one of the bravest and strongest hedgehogs I’ve ever met.”

Sonic snickered, leaning to the side as he placed one hand on his hip and looked away. “But he’s definitely not the brightest.”

Amy smiled satisfied and shrugged. “Baby steps.”

Finally, after what felt like hours since, Sonic had a genuine smile on his face. “You’re right. As usual from The Amy Rose.” He stretched his arms towards Amy as if he was presenting her on a stage. Emphasising his admiration for her in his own way.

Amy curtseyed with a guffaw, “What can I say? I know my stuff.” She paused for a moment, looking up at the familiar orange lab ahead of them.

“You know, I never expected you to take my advice. That was really sweet of you to do for them.”

Sonic chuckled. “It seriously came in handy. And I needed something to keep my head straight.”

They were silent for a moment. Sonic tilted his head up. Amy followed Sonic’s gaze and stared at the beautiful starry sky.

“You really missed us, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I did.”

Suddenly, Amy’s ear perked up as it picked up the sound of a small whimper. She brought her head back down and looked at Sonic who was staring up. Desperately trying to keep tears from rolling down his face again.

“Um, Sonic. Are you…?”

Sonic quickly lifted his hand up to his eyes and covered them, trying to keep them as dry as possible. “Oh, uh. *Sniff* Nope! Totally fine! Nothing to see here!” He said with a strained voice and wobbly smile.

Amy held back a giggle by raising a fist to her lips. “Awww, it’s okay. Ya big softy.”

Sonic’s ears dropped as his muzzle suddenly became very hot. “Ames, please stop…”

“You started it.”

He huffed and crossed his arms, looking away with an embarrassed smile.

“Whatever.”

Amy couldn’t help but laugh. She turned to face the lab once more, letting a small, content sigh leave her. “You might wanna explain to Tails why you missed dinner.” She said with a knowing smile.

Sonic looked at Amy incredulously, “You too? I mean–” he shook off the initial shock, “fair. I’ll tell everyone else eventually. Thanks for the pep talk, Ames.”

Amy smiled at him, satisfied at their progression. “If you ever need me, I’m always available.”

Sonic gave her a thumbs up and a small nod before making his way to the front door, typing in the code to let himself in. Amy gave him one last knowing smile before leaving. Birdie spun around her head to wave its little wing at him until they were out of sight. Sonic let out a small laugh as he waved back, turning around to face the lab once he could no longer see them.

As soon as Sonic entered the lab, Tails was all up on his business, concern and frustration clear on his face. “You know, for the fastest thing alive, I’d figure ‘being on time for dinner’ would be an easy task for you. Mind explaining yourself?” He sounded like a disappointed mother scolding her kid for missing curfew; Sonic held back a laugh.

“Sure thing. But I gotta tell ya, it’s gonna be a doozy.”

***

Welcome to the end! Did you like it? Hope so because we both had a BLAST creating it. The Little Things was a way to show how much Prime’s events affected an emotionally driven Sonic. Unlike in the Games or IDW this broken blue blur isn’t as good at hiding his emotions and is more open towards others. It’s what keeps him going. The story also plays with the swapped roles of Amy and Sonic and expands it in an emotional and hopefully fun way. Also, if you’ve ever felt this since of hurt and anguish, remember the people you love in your life and that even if you think you’re alone, you’re not. Thank you for reading!

Also, definitely recommend following @saltynsassy31 she’s an amazing writer. Give her some love!

Stay Creative! 💜🍓

[storytellerslense]

JJ Maybank character analysis

How parentification shaped JJ‘s personality

Part 1

Parentified children face multiple challenges. They often experience stigmatization, feeling judged or isolated due to their family dynamics. Additionally, they carry the burden of family secrets, keeping quiet about the true nature of their responsibilities and the issues within their home. These children are forced to grow up too quickly, dealing with adult responsibilities and emotional burdens, which can lead to psychological stress, anxiety, and role confusion. This dual pressure impacts their social development and mental health, often leaving them feeling overwhelmed and unsupported.

Stigmatization

JJ referring to his difficult and abusive home life after taking the fall for Pope. (Season 1, Episode 4)

JJ's behavioral patterns and anxiety caused by the stress of his family life are often misunderstood by others. Additionally, he is viewed by his environment as the son of an irresponsible and criminal father, which likely causes him not only shame but also increases the pressure on him to disprove the negative prejudices.

Stigmatization can also lead to stereotype threat by making individuals acutely aware of negative stereotypes and increasing the pressure to avoid confirming them. This heightened awareness and anxiety can impair performance and behavior, resulting in a self-fulfilling prophecy:

"He's just like his father. He's a liar and a thief." (Kiara's father Mike Carrera, Season 3, Episode 5)

In Season 3, Episode 5, JJ overhears Kiara's father saying, "He's just like his father. He's a liar and a thief", labelling him based on negative stereotypes associated with his family background. The words visibly hurt and demoralize JJ. They also increase JJ's anxiety and pressure to avoid confirming these stereotypes. He notices Kiara's father's wallet and the stress of his comments then triggers the impulsive reaction to steal it before leaving the house.

"You'll be back here one day. It's in your blood." (Deputy Plump, Season 2 Episode 5)

In another scene, Deputy Plumb is in the Sheriff's Department when JJ arrives to see John B. After allowing JJ to see his friend, she intentionally leads him to see his imprisoned father. She tells JJ that he is destined to end up in jail because it's in his blood. Plumb's actions and words reinforce negative stereotypes and social stigma, contributing to his internal conflict and feelings of inadequacy, potentially having a significantly impact on JJ's behavior and self-perception.

Impulsiveness and the tendency to make solo decisions 

Having grown up in a high-stress environment where he frequently had to handle crises on his own, JJ has developed a habit of making quick, decisive actions independently.

Growing up in a stressful environment where he had to manage crises regularly, JJ has learned to make quick, decisive actions without seeking input. This habit translates into JJ often making impulsive decisions and acting alone without considering his friends' opinions. Parentification can lead to a strong desire for control and independence, as the child feels the need to manage everything themselves to ensure stability and safety.

JJ’s need to regain control over his life and situations manifests in making solo decisions, even if they are risky.

In Season 1, Episode 7, JJ gets into a heated argument with his friends about stealing money from Barry. The group votes against it, but JJ, driven by his own determination, decides to go his own way and separates from his friends. Possibly JJ is accustomed to make quick decisions under pressure due to his chaotic home life. In stressful situations, he tends to seek immediate solutions to regain control (over his life) without fully considering the consequences, exemplified by his decision to steal from Barry despite his friends' objections. It's also hard for him to trust their decisions. His separation from the group reflects his believe that he alone must handle crises, disregarding his friends' vote.

[secondhandsorrows]

The Deal with Character and Plot: Which is More Important?

All stories have characters and plot.

Sometimes as writers, however, we pour all our focus into one of these aspects, overshadowing plot in favor of character, or getting too caught up in plot and leaving character for last. Really, both are the nuts and bolts of story — they work in unison, thriving in tandem. Without the other, the story just falls flat. But, there’s a little something that is the glue between plot and character.

So what is this glue?

That, my friend, is conflict. 

Conflict is the glue that brings together these two aspects, creating balance and making a compelling and engaging story. All good stories have conflict.

It’s helpful to remember that plot is the sequence of external events in a character’s environment  that get the ball rolling, whereas character give a window to the internal, the emotional. Internal conflict is often of the character’s own making: a secret motive, a battle of emotions, the opposing want versus need, the dissatisfaction in their life, the indecisions or hesitations. 

A character tends to get affected by the external events. A messy divorce may lead to one character’s depression before they finally motivate themselves to get a new date, going through multiple failed attempts until they meet their second-soulmate. A character getting a new job may catapult them into —what was supposed to be a fresh start— a waking nightmare as they try to navigate their unfair, demanding workplace. 

With these two examples, we can pinpoint their internal and external conflicts. In the first, we have the character’s external conflict of a heart-breaking divorce and the struggles of moving out and getting the papers settled. As for the internal conflict, this character goes through bouts of depression, wondering if she’ll find anyone for her, before finally getting encouraged to get back out into the dating pool once again, helping her to discover that nothing is too-late or at the end of road.

For the second example, the external conflict is the character navigating their new environment, driven up the wall from tedious work and snobby coworkers, but they can’t leave because of *reasons*. Their internal conflict, in turn, is their dedication as to not quit coupled with their eventual desire to climb the ladder of success. 

We can start to see here that there’s a clear cause-and-effect relationship between the external and internal: one cannot exist without the other. How a character might see the world can impact their relationships and other external factors, such as their environment. Similarly, external events can prompt a character to react or spark inner conflict that they have to deal with in one way or another.

I hope this is helpful. Thanks for reading!

[byoldervine]

What Is Your OC’s Internal Conflict?

Internal conflict is key to writing a character-driven story and helping readers emotionally connect to your characters. The external conflict would be, say, the Hex Squad defeating Emperor Belos and the Emperor’s Coven, but the internal conflict would be Amity breaking away from her mother’s influence, or Willow rebuilding her self-worth after years of bullying broke it down. It relates back to their personal journey of self-growth as they conquer their inner demons rather than an external force

If it helps, feel more than free to comment or reblog to share your own characters’ internal conflicts

[futurebird]

I love it when a bunch of people start petting a cat at once and you can see a fight going on in the cat's mind "this is a little overwhelming, it's a little much... oh" vs. "of course they would all praise me and pet me! I'm a wonderful cat. This is how it should be"

... "and yet my anxiety"

... "no I must show them that I expected this! That I find it late in coming even!"

[aventurineswife]

could i request aventurine with a homesick g/n reader? in the sense that they are from a different planet and are either visiting/living in penacony. i think it’d be interesting considering how aventurine might relate to their situation.

Home is not a place, it’s a feeling

Summary: Aventurine finds himself drawn to you as you struggle with homesickness, feeling the weight of longing for your home planet while living in Penacony. As your sense of loss grows, Aventurine, who understands the pain of displacement and survivor’s guilt, offers a form of quiet support. Through small, thoughtful gestures and shared vulnerabilities, he helps guide you through your emotional struggle, while also confronting his own buried fears and regrets.

Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Homesickness, Emotional Support, Mutual Vulnerability, Internal Conflict, Subtle Romance, Hurt/Comfort.

Warnings: Themes of homesickness and isolation, Mentions of survivor’s guilt and trauma, Emotional angst, Mild manipulation (in terms of comfort, not malice), Subtle, slow-building romance.

The light of Penacony’s moon streamed through the floor-to-ceiling windows of Aventurine’s lavish suite, casting fractured beams of light across the opulent room. You sat curled in a corner of the velvet chaise, knees drawn to your chest, staring out at the sprawling cityscape. Penacony was beautiful—its vibrant nightlife, radiant architecture, and bustling markets—but it wasn’t home.

A sigh escaped your lips as the glow of your home planet, so far away, weighed heavy on your heart. You missed the simple things: the scent of rain on your streets, the taste of your local delicacies, the way the sun dipped below familiar horizons. Being here, surrounded by decadence and strangers, only seemed to amplify your longing.

“You know,” Aventurine’s smooth, lilting voice broke the quiet, “I’ve seen a thousand starscapes, but there’s a certain sadness in how they all start to look the same.”

You glanced up to find him leaning casually against the doorway, his hair catching the moonlight. Dressed in his usual blend of ostentation and elegance, with his overcoat draped over his shoulders, Aventurine looked every bit the enigmatic gambler he was. But there was something in his expression tonight—something softer, quieter—that made you pause.

“Can’t sleep?” he asked, strolling toward you. The faint scent of his cologne, something sharp yet sweet, lingered as he perched on the armrest of your chaise.

You shook your head. “Just… thinking.”

“Ah,” he said, his eyes narrowing slightly as if reading between the lines. “Thinking about home, aren’t you?”

The knot in your chest tightened. “Yeah,” you admitted softly. “I miss it. Everything here is so… different.”

Aventurine tilted his head, his smile faint but warm. “Homesickness is a peculiar kind of ache, isn’t it? It’s not just missing a place—it’s missing a piece of yourself that only exists there.”

You blinked at him, surprised. “You get homesick?”

He chuckled, the sound low and wistful. “Sometimes. Though ‘home’ is a rather abstract concept for me. Sigonia wasn’t exactly a paradise.” His tone was light, almost dismissive, but his gaze drifted to the window, and you caught a flicker of something—pain, perhaps, or nostalgia.

“Still,” he continued, “there are moments I’d give anything to feel the desert wind on my face again. To hear my mother’s voice calling me in for supper or to watch my sister’s silly little dances under the sun. Even knowing I can’t go back, the memories… they stick with you, don’t they?”

You swallowed hard, the rawness of his words resonating deeply. “Yeah,” you murmured. “They do.”

Aventurine leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand as he studied you. “You know,” he said after a moment, “there’s a trick to homesickness.”

“Oh?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

He grinned, a flash of his usual bravado returning. “You carry it with you. All the things you miss—the smells, the tastes, the sounds—you find ways to recreate them. Here, there, anywhere. You make your own little pockets of home, no matter how far you’ve wandered.”

Your lips quirked into a small smile. “That’s… surprisingly practical advice for someone like you.”

Aventurine placed a hand over his heart, feigning offense. “Darling, I’ll have you know I’m full of wisdom—when the occasion calls for it.” His playful tone softened as he added, “Besides, I know what it’s like to feel untethered. And I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”

His sincerity caught you off guard, and for a moment, the ache in your chest eased. “Thanks, Aventurine,” you said quietly.

He waved a hand dismissively. “Think nothing of it. Now, let’s make a deal.”

“A deal?” you echoed, narrowing your eyes.

He leaned closer, his grin widening. “I’ll help you make Penacony feel a little more like home—find the right food, music, scents, whatever you need. In return, you’ll owe me a favor.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Of course, there’s a catch.”

“There’s always a catch,” he teased, his eyes sparkling mischievously. “But trust me, darling—it’s worth the gamble.”

For the first time in days, the weight of homesickness didn’t feel quite so heavy. Maybe, just maybe, Aventurine’s gamble was one you were willing to take.

[sapphireflame]

"I gave you power to use me as an excuse to be evil!"

"I know."

Inspired by @aveloka-draws and others whose leshycats have tragic backstories, though it can really be applied more generally as well. After all, the Bishops have some atrocities under their belts, and as followers they no longer have the godhood that once kept them at a nice safe distance from the moral ramifications of all that they've done.

So, how's that for a first drawing?

[sundaysconsort]

Entry : 002 | " Eyes don't lie "

Pairing : Aventurine | Oc! Shadow (@aventurineswife) ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )

Information : Aventurine's refusal to allow Shadow any control over her own wallet is apparent. Seeking out a specific brand of glove for a dear friend, Aventurine offers to be her guide. Unbeknownst to her, it would become somewhat of a date for the pair.

Tags : Mutual Pinning, Slow Burn, Angst If You Squint, Fluff, Romance, Intimacy, Emotional Healing, Domestic, Intimacy, Mutual Vulnerability, Internal Conflict, Hurt/Comfort

Word count: 4.4k

A/N: I worked on this longer than expected, and am still not quite satisfied with the result. However, I wish to shed some light and express my gratitude towards you. Despite the chaos, I hope you enjoy.

Whether you choose to window-shop, or waltz towards an article of clothing that tickles your fancy, you're a subject left in the hands of the general public. Your eyes drift for a second too long towards their product; and you'll have somebody invite you in, warm smiles used to hold rapport.

"Jewelry, wristwatches, handbags, and haute couture… You can find the most high-end and opulent merchandise in Penacony here!" You'll face salesmen and their attempts to manipulate you, coarse you into purchasing something you know you don't need; far out of your budget. Populated streets make it a competition between rivaling stores to pick up more possible customers, "▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇!" "▇▇▇▇▇▇▇!"

The best you can do is drown it out, or choose against this and ultimately lose yourself in the industry's tactics to lure you in. Ever heard the phrase "More fish in the sea"? Well, this is not a phrase used for romance alone, oh no. You're undoubtedly the fish within these bustling streets, as each store extends their reach to hook you in.

Some, however, know how to play around their theatrics' like an expert.

"Penacony appears never to dwindle, that is for certain." Voice written in velvet, a young woman combs a hand through her hair with an exasperated sigh. Brunette strands side-swept temporarily, only to begin falling back in place. Reluctantly tearing her eyes away from a window with the glamorous assortment of garments, she is met with a familiar face.

“Neither does your beauty, dear friend~”

Eyes don't lie Eyes don't lie Say you're mine Eyes don't lie

"...Aventurine?" Her ocean eyes would narrow, soaking in his appearance. Lips parting to speak once more, "-I thought you mentioned some form of important business left you with little free time? Have I remembered incorrectly?"

Aventurine, a member of the Interastral Peace Corporation; IPC for short. His title holds weight like no other, especially after the events he played a hand in towards the present of Penacony. A member of the Ten Stonehearts. A handsome face renowned for his luck, willing to bet everything on a mere chip.

"Ah yes, I did say something along those lines." He'd hum in agreement, eyes reading hers before pulling himself back up to his usual stature, no longer level with the lady. "-So, Shadow. What brings a woman such as yourself to these streets? Has the express chosen a new destination? Found trouble within this dreamscape once again?"

"Pssh. Nothing of that sort," Shadow would roll her eyes, playfully swatting the air as if to reprimand him. His eyes focus solely on her, taking note of the wallet grasped in her hand. Pressing it inside a purse she'd thrown over her shoulder casually. "We came at someone's request-"

"-Shadow!!" A chipper voice would suddenly shout, drawing the attention of both Aventurine and Shadow. Coming into view would be a pair of women, one with a bright expression and pink hair, while the other wore a color palette resembling the rising sun. Expression is only described as exhaustion, tension written in the way she is dragged along by their friend. An arm outstretched, stumbling over her own feet which drag on the ground. "-Aventurine? Are you both..?"

The energetic lady would let go of her companion's hand and lift the same limb dramatically to her brow as if scouting the couple closely. Unsure whether she has interrupted something or not.

"My oh my, is the entire crew here? Long time no see, Friends!" Aventurine would speak, his gaze deciphering what may be the reason for their return to Penacony. "-Stella, you've certainly seen better days... I take it March convinced you to tag along?"

Strelitzia, a fellow member of the Astral Express crew. Little was known of her or her species, besides her vague similarities to the Halovians. A pair of small, fascinating wings would twitch on top of her head, lifting her gaze towards Aventurine, only for him to receive an intense stare. One filled with emotion, far too much depth to decipher in a single glance. Her eyes resemble his own in color, falling narrow, void of any sort of light despite their surroundings.

"-Stella found interest in a conversation you had over text with the Trailblazer." A voice chimed in, his head turning towards Shadow who stood tall by his side. He'd notice her eyes stuck on the lady they were casting the spotlight on. "Which led to our return. There was mention of..?-"

"...' Night Diamond'" Stella whispers, crossing her arms in discomfort. Her wings are unable to remain still, fluttering up and down impatiently, casting a shadow on her face with each subtle movement. "...Gloves."

Aventurine's lips would tug into a smug smile, pulling out his phone to scroll through his messages. Finding the exact text Strelitzia would've been interested in, "This?" The man hands the phone to Strelitzia. Her hands cautiously took the mobile device from his grasp, unfamiliar with such a luxurious casing. Looking towards Shadow who wore a warm expression, encouraging her to speak further with Aventurine.

'Take, for another example, these "Night Diamond" series gloves, the last masterpiece by the deceased design master Van Jagh. They're handcrafted and limited to ninety pairs galaxy-wide, perfect for parties and special occasions.'

"...Yeah." Strelitzia would hand the phone back towards Aventurine, pointing towards the exact message in reference. Reeling back as their hands brush against each other. Keeping to herself once again, responding to him with small glances rather than making use of her voice.

Shadow feels a free arm snake around her waist out of the blue, pulling her close to Aventurine's side, leaving little proximity between the two. Wishing to include her, and gain somebody else's insight, the gambler began turning his phone towards her, allowing a clear view of the texts. Gaining the attention of both March and Strelitzia with his hands-on approach with Shadow, keeping their lips shut.

…Until March noticed him lean his head against Shadow, their blonde and brunette hair tangled together.

"-Are you two a thing?" March would blurt, shocked by her revelation. Tilting her head in curiosity, she'd murmur for Strelitzia to hear. "...Did you know of this and not tell me?"

Strelitzia shakes her head with a pair of furrowed brows, confused by such an accusation. Unable to speak, she'd felt March take hold of her hand once more, grinning widely. "Well, I think these two need time on their own. We'll find those gloves on our own, kay? Catch you both later!"

Unable to argue, Strelitzia's wings would lay flat on her head like a saddened puppy. Turning to watch Aventurine and Shadow as she reluctantly retreats with March, disappointed their interaction with Shadow ended so abruptly.

"Well, anyway..." A sultry voice cuts through the silence between him and Shadow, Aventurine's arm loosening around the woman's waist as some passersby look at their public display of affection. "...where were we? aah, right." He'd confirm something within himself, admiring the casual appearance Shadow wore during her time out.

Can't lie to you, baby Wanna feel your body close You say that you hate me But tell me shit nobody knows

"Do we genuinely look like that in their eyes?" Shadow spoke out loud, left in shock at the idea of her friend implying such an idea. Shifting outside of Aventurine's hold, and stepping back for room to breathe.

Truthfully, Shadow knew she had been pinning for Aventurine long before March brought up such an accusation. Choosing to ignore it due to their past circumstance... but such proximity made it hard to avoid. Thoughts drifting to the idea of his feelings.

What could she possibly make of his poker face? The emotions he shields from the naked eye?

Led on for years, creating a distance, only to be in his embrace once again.

She felt her heartache, the longer her heart wished to peruse him through reconciliation.

"How about this, mh? Allow me to be your companion tonight—won't you, Shadow? I know all the best locations. Anything you seek, ask, and you shall receive~" Not minding March's behavior, he decides to lean into it. Moving on from the subject immediately, brushing over Shadow's question, leaving room for her to dwell on whether it was intentional or not.

He remains open-ended. A man left up to interpretation.

"You and I both know I can't afford any store you suggest-" Shadow clicks her tongue, arms crossed disapprovingly, finding his proposition blastomas. Hearing Aventurine release a hearty laugh.

"Ah ah ah, humor me, won't you? Plus, as I said, Tab's on me-"

"-You never said that"

Shadow's gaze would narrow, reading into his every breath. Softening as his eyes met hers, losing what little resolve she had inside. She'd turn her head aside, neither accepting him outright nor rejecting the proposal.

"Now I have," Aventurine smiles, one fueled by his irresistible charm—but she knew better. That smile never reached his eyes.

He'd lift her head with a single finger beneath her chin, guiding her to look at him once again without a motion of his own, giving her that freedom to refuse or turn. "Tab's on me, I insist." Her walls crumble.

"Right, right. Lead the way, Handsome."

"Handsome?"

He’d let out a weary exhale, not realizing it was held for an extended period, attempting to brush this interaction off.

A single word from her.

Tension unearthed from his heart, struggling to accept such praise from somebody genuine. Lips thinning, he'd force an uncomfortable smile. Coward, he thought.

"C'mon, the sooner we find those gloves the better. For Stella's sake."

Right, for their friend's sake.

He was foolish to believe this could be a moment in time—shared for just the two of them. Lowering his hand in defeat, he'd be caught off guard when Shadow takes the lead by capturing his hand before it falls, turning to walk forward with him in her wake. Fingers intertwining.

The sound of music, idle chatter, and cheers cease to exist. His heart beat uncontrollably with each step.

“…”

Aventurine’s smile fell, far too exhausted to continue once she'd turned away from him, preoccupied with her thoughts.

Pathetic.

His expression morphed solemn, holding himself together barely. Thankfully she was unaware of his turmoil, or, refused to acknowledge it. He felt utterly pathetic, his tongue tied—Left to admire her from behind, out of sight. Just how it should’ve always been.

How could he possibly deserve her? How could he protect her in this chaotic realm? Perhaps, in another life...

Shadow's hand tightens, lending him a warm squeeze in silence. His hands trembling the entire walk, clutching onto her in their brief time alone. Appreciating her willingness to play as his anchor.

They've been here before.

Yeah, you're beautiful, don't have to try Darlin', you look divine

"You'd look beautiful in this, though, ...beautiful may be an understatement." Aventurine unhooked a revealing dress from its rack, whistling and holding it in front of him. Envisioning Shadow fits snuggly in it's fabric. "-Shadow?"

"We're here for Stella." Shadow reminds Aventurine adamantly, the warm lighting of the store complimenting her body deliciously. She couldn't help but fidget, shifting weight from one leg to the other anxiously, aware of how Aventurine seemed to devour her in a single glance.

"Come now, you couldn't possibly be this against treating yourself."

"I'm not-" Shadow attempts to argue, listening to Aventurine as he raises a brow at her futile retorts. Making it clear who's in control of their predicament,

"Well, then try this on for me." His expression was written smugly, already aware of who would come out the victor. "-Shouldn't be an issue if you aren't against a little treat for the both of us?"

"What? That's not what I said-" Shadow grows frustrated, a dust of pink adorning her cheeks as her inevitable defeat approaches. Wishing to clean that smirk off the blond's face.

"Please?" Aventurine silences her, kneeling in front of her, holding the dress in his hands neatly. Lifting it towards her as a servant would for their queen, "Wouldn't you be so generous as to allow me first class witness of your absolute divinity." He winks.

"...Kakavasha! People are watching-!" Shadow's thoughts race, feeling the eyes of those around them bore into their figures. His theatrics garnered unwanted attention. Growing embarrassed, she lost her composure, voice escaping her; referring him to be somebody he was no longer before she could restrain herself.

"Let them." He shrugged nonchalantly, anticipating her response to his request. The eye's not once wavering, not once straying from his desire.

If his old identity escaping her lips bothered him, he didn't show any sign of it.

"You're insufferable," Shadow murmured, accepting her defeat as she took the dress from his hands. Holding it against her chest, the satin seamlessly drapes over her arm. Its material is cool to the touch.

"I know." Aventurine smiles, taking her criticism without complaint. Leading her to feel regret, she readied herself to apologize, only to leave it alone at the sight of him. He seemed content.

And so, she made her way to the changing room. Felt his eyes trained on her the entire way.

Eyes don't lie Eyes don't lie Say you're mine Eyes don't lie

Shadow slides the curtain in a swift motion, exposing herself and the changing room's interior, the sound of a whistle immediately meeting her ears.

"Well, If it isn't the most attractive woman in the entirety of Penacony," he'd wear a shit-eating grin. Approaching her with his usual strut, his hands slipped into her own, "I'd bet my last chip on that, sweet beacon of light." The man whispers against her ear, guiding her towards the closest mirror.

Shadow couldn't help but clench the fabric of her dress, eyes averted in an attempt to glimpse at the man behind her. Felt a hand trail from her hip, up her torso, and towards her cheek; careful to avoid anywhere she might be uncomfortable with him grazing. Guiding her to face the mirror,

"I'd argue you're the most attractive, not I." Shadow smiled tenderly, too busy looking at his reflection to admire her dress. Losing herself in his presence.

"Haha, say that once you quit ogling over me and focus those pretty eyes on yourself." He'd nudge her to look towards the mirror, nodding his head with that same confident grin. "-stunning."

His voice held a tinge of warmth, his breath brushing against the shell of her ear. Causing the woman to blush faintly, listening to his every word, not noticing the smile of her own until he playfully reached to squish her cheeks.

"Aventurine."

"Yes?"

Then followed silence, her eyes admiring the view of them in the mirror. He looked... happy. Whether it was an illusion or not, she wished to stay here permanently.

Aventurine's expression is confident, while hers is relaxed. One hand of his is enough to cup beneath her chin, pressing her cheeks together between her finger and thumb. Leaving her with a kissy face; her brows furrowed. This seems to further entertain him.

Aventurine's free hand caressed her hip, exposed by the dress's open window teasing beneath the material, skin hidden from sight. The dress itself is quite snug, complimenting the young woman's figure. A simple appeal, raven colors with a few feather-like designs on the very bottom of the mermaid flounced dress.

"What are we?"

Shadow's voice escaped her, sounding significantly more vulnerable than she anticipated.

You tell me your secrets You keep your life between your lips You know you're my weakness Tell stories with your fingertips

"What are we not?" He chuckled dismissively, unbefitting of his true character.

Aventurine wouldn't lend her a direct answer, again. What did she expect? She could sense his hesitant nature, always playing so cautious with her... her heart ached in uncertainty.

"Give me an answer, Aventurine." Her eyes narrow, refusing to play along with this game of his any further. She needs an answer. Enough hints, enough of whatever role they play in this game.

"I'm uncertain," His words came without deceit, his hands making their way to both settle on her hips, a cheek pressed against the top of her head. Hiding his expression. "I... need time to understand what the answer you deserve is."

"Aventurine, I don't want the answer you believe I want. I need your honesty-"

"-I don't know, Shadow. I don't understand what we are; I don't know." His grip tightens, almost enough to bruise. She wasn't phased, growing further concerned.

Shadow hesitates to push him any further, choosing to combat her inner turmoil in silence. She knew Aventurine better than anyone, or she believed she did, and trusted his word. Lifting an arm, Aventurine felt her fingers scratch at his scalp, soothing his weary soul.

"I don't know." He'd murmur again, feeling his composure slip away.

"Shh... It's okay." Shadow whispers, warm and comforting. "We'll be okay."

She'd recognize her own saddened smile in the mirror, observing Aventurine's stillness in quiet acceptance. Satisfied that he hasn't pulled away from her touch. Fingers tangled in his luxurious hair.

Aventurine wouldn't speak, his hands loosening to caress her skin tenderly, grounding himself. His every intention is to remind her that she's more the a shadow. She's a beacon of light in his life.

No matter how stunning she may be, in her eyes, nothing is equal to his natural appeal. Admiring him so long as he allows. The scent of his cologne rubbed off on her, her eyes shut, and the world around them drowned out.

Yeah, you're beautiful, don't have to try Darlin', you look divine

"Are you sure? This is far too expensive," Shadow said, uncertain, her brows furrowed. Staring at the dress slung over an arm, "there's no guarantee I'll wear it often..."

"Trust me, this hardly leaves a scratch on my account. Allow me to treat you tonight." Aventurine laughs, leaving Shadow no room to argue further; his hand encasing hers while they walk. "Plus, it was basically made for you, wouldn't you agree?"

They've been seeking the "Night Diamond" series gloves for longer than expected, her mind undergoing suspicion. Shadow felt as though Aventurine had been playing dumb throughout their time together. Refusing to call him out, she found herself enjoying his attempts to lengthen their time together.

Aventurine takes notice of Shadow's eyes as searches relentlessly, lingering on a dress similar to the one already draped over her arm, however, it matches his signature aesthetic rather than her own... quick to avert her gaze.

"Aren't those the gloves?" Shadow lifts their hands to point towards the lone gloves behind glass, left safely in their showcase.

"Good eye, as expected of my most trusted partner." Aventurine never missed the opportunity to praise her over the most simple of feats. Smiling warmly, one significantly more genuine than his play on confidence earlier. Whether he was aware or not, she was left unaware.

Aventurine hesitantly lets go of Shadow's hand, "Stay here, I'll handle this. If you spot anything else during my absence, well... I wouldn't mind adding it to my card" He'd wink, making his way towards an employee, leaving Shadow behind momentarily.

She'd smile fondly, watching how he conversed with the employee. His charming grin was infectious, watching his gaze before she'd avert her gaze and act nonchalant.

Just as requested, she allows him to take over. Making her way towards a golden hairpiece, from it hung an untied, yellow ribbon. Reminding her of Stella, she'd feel the material slip between her fingers,

"You want this as well?" Aventurine's voice suddenly met her in a hot whisper, breath trickling down from her ear; causing her hair to rise on the back of her neck. "I never saw you as the type to wear such a bright color, y'know, given you claim to be a shadow and all." He'd tease, feeling her press a hand clasp against his mouth and ultimately silence him; a single brow raised in question while she felt his grin against her palm.

The man's eyes glint with intent, left unnoticed by Shadow.

"It's for Stella," She'd respond, looking towards him. "-if you insist on buying me the dress, and her gloves, I... would like to buy something for her myself." Shadow's gaze soon returned to the ribbon, her eyes refused to escape the hair accessory afterward, that was until she'd recoil, pulling her hand away from his face at the feeling of his tongue against her palm.

"I- I don't even know what to say to you." She'd stare at him dumbfoundedly, her nose scrunched in disgust while rubbing the saliva from her palm to the unfortunate fabric of her clothes.

He'd merely shrug with a proud smirk, eyes sharing an unrelenting glimmer; he'd spare her momentarily. He found a moment of pleasure in her disgust, wishing to rile her up further.

"You're so....-weird," Shadow stated quietly, arms crossed, she gripped the accessory between her fingers, listening to the beat of her heart in both ears. "Let's... pay for this all and meet with the others. I wish not to leave Stella waiting longer than necessary."

Aventurine's eyes glimmered like never before, whether it was the lighting in the store or the joy of the moment. She... couldn't erase the image of his gaze from her mind. Taking a peek at him, she notices it gone once more, frowning quietly. Their dynamic is still painted blue.

Eyes don't lie Eyes don't lie Say you're mine Eyes don't lie

"Aventurine! Shadow!" A loud voice breaks through the crowd's endless chatter outside the store, "Over here!!"

Many turn their heads, looking towards the young lady who laughed awkwardly and scratched the back of her head. Embarrassed at the unintentional attention she attracted. As Aventurine and Shadow reunite with March, they look around… noticing something strange.

"Where is Stella?" Shadow is the first to ask, concerned about her whereabouts.

"Don't tell me," He paused, "-you lost poor Stella in the crowd? Poor girl…" Aventurine lifts a hand to his cheek, heightening his theatrics. Receiving a pout in return by March, and a playful glare from Shadow.

"What?! Of course not!" March defends herself, "She saw Mr. Yang and ran off without a word, she doesn't usually handle these crowds well… but something tells me-"

"Sunday came with him?" Shadow adds, a knowing expression visible on her face.

"Bingo! Or… that's my guess at least. Ehe…" March giggles once again, not minding Strelitzia's sudden urgency to flee. Perhaps Strelitzia merely took up the opportunity to escape March's excitement while she had the chance. Shadow knew better.

"To think he'd show face in his unfinished symphony…" Aventurine hums to himself, wearing his signature grin. "Perhaps this is where we part ways, mh? Shadow?"

Would her answer matter? If she asked for him to stay, would he?

"Yeah." She'd take a deep breath, remaining composed. "We've got all we came for if not more…" Shadow thinks, "-I feel I haven't thanked you enough for this."

She'd lift the bag of luxury merchandise, peeking inside the bag that felt expensive on its own. She barely could afford that hairpiece for Stella, but, managed nonetheless. Would she regret it? Of course not.

I swear friends don't get this close Pull you in exchanging souls Trace my skin, losing control

"Pssh." Aventurine waved a hand, watching how March pivots on her foot, in search of any sign of their companions. Taking this as an opening, he'd step closer towards Shadow, "I have an idea as to how you could… repay me; if you're interested that is."

Shadow raised a brow, suspicious of his intentions that are left unclear. In response, Aventurine lightly tapped his cheek with his index and middle finger, face turned at an angle that still allowed his eyes to bore into her own. Expecting something, he'd allow Shadow to interpret this however she wishes.

"What?" Shadow inquired, her heart twinged between his clever fingertips. Left unsure whether she had missed any subtle cue on what he may desire.

After what felt like an eternity, Aventurine's laugh meets her unresponsive behavior, truly shaken by the idea of his implication.

"Well, you better catch up with March before she gets lost as well." Aventurine felt hesitant to leave, however, knew it was best for the both of them they separated once again. HIs chuckle unsettling, for her; knowing that it's full of falsehood.

"Wait." Shadow spoke up, refusing to accept his attempt to leave. No, it was far too soon.

"Miss me already?" Aventurine turned towards her, his breath escaping him as Shadow reached for his face suddenly. Hands clasping each cheek, she'd lean towards him, her body pressed against his chest. The bag of goods left at their feet.

"This is what you wanted isn't it..?" Shadow's voice lowers significantly, eyes peering into his with underlining resilience.

"Haha… not quite," Aventurine responds weakly, knowing full well it's close to what he previously bargained for.

"Then if I said I wanted this, would you reject my proposal?" Shadow asks, her breath leaving a warm tingle against his skin.

"…Shadow," Aventurine says, her eye's a window to the soul. He was afraid.

"Answer the question, for Aeon's sake." Shadow grew frustrated, Before the silence could break, he'd inch close towards her. Not minding the uninvited eyes, his arms wrap around her waist, lips crashing into her own with fervor. Desperate, both members take the waltz together after an entire day of tension.

"haha…" He'd pant, eyes half lidded; releasing Shadow reluctantly.

"Haha.. can't get enough of me can you?"

Shadow's hand grasped the window of his shirt, clutching it for support while leaning in for another. "You're more attractive with your lips sealed." In quiet acceptance, he'd lean into it once again, smiling tenderly. To hell with it all, if this is what she desires, who is he to neglect her further?

Eyes don't lie Eyes don't lie Say you're mine Eyes don't lie

Once this cycle meets an end, Shadow leans down to pick up her bag of contents. Meanwhile, Aventurine adjusts his clothes, smoothing them out as if nothing had happened. Taking care of each stay's hair, he'd treat her much the same.

"C'mon Doll, can't have you returning to your friends looking like this," Aventurine admits, admiring her tousled demeanor.

Shadow argues, "And who is responsible for my appearance?"

"You're more attractive with your lips sealed." Aventurine grins cheekily, pressing a finger against her lips momentarily.

Pulling away in due time, they'd bid their farewells.

Both she and he are left with more questions than answers, and neither would have it any other way. For once, content with a goodbye, knowing it won't be their last.

Eyes don't lie Eyes don't lie Say you're mine Eyes don't lie

Fin.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Resolving In-System Conflict

Internal fights, disagreements, indescisuon, and other conflict can make life challenging for any system. It’s not always easy learning to cooperate and get along with other folks sharing your body and mind! While our own system still struggles a lot with internal conflict, we thought it would be good to make a post detailing how we handle conflict and strife within our own collective. Without further ado, let’s get started!

Disclaimer: what works for our system may not work for yours! Every system is different, so you are encouraged to heed the advice that will be beneficial for your system and not worry about the rest. You know yourself and your own system better than we ever could, so personal discretion is always encouraged!

Internal Meetings

One way we try to resolve conflict before it gets out of hand is by having regular in-system meetings. Our own system tries to organize a meeting once every month or so. These gatherings allow us to fill out a roster of our members, note any significant changes, vote on or discuss any upcoming decisions, air out grievances, and in general just socialize with each other a little bit.

If there’s interest, we can make a new post going into more detail on what organizing and executing an in-system meeting looks like for us!

Brainstorm and Collaborate

When different members want different things, or when certain headmates can’t seem to agree on something, it may be a good idea for the whole system to try and come up with a unique solution that works for everyone. This may not involve any sort of compromise, and you may find it possible to collectively reach decisions that will work for your whole system!

These sorts of conclusions won’t be reached if your system members won’t ever talk to each other or pitch ideas back and forth, so it’s a good idea to practice communicating even when you’re not in conflict to make these moments of collaboration easier for everyone!

Honoring Previous Commitments

Sometimes solving a conflict or disagreement is as easy as honoring whoever had a prior commitment or had said they wanted to do something first. This isn’t always going to be a possible solution, but it’s a good idea to honor these commitments whenever possible!

Getting a Second (or Third!) Opinion

When two headmates butt heads a lot, it may take getting some input from an outside party in order for an amicable solution to be reached. This can be from another headmate or a trusted loved one outside your system!

Getting Space

For headmates who genuinely fight a lot, have a lot of spite or hatred for each other, or generally cannot ever get along, it may be best to try and help these members get a bit of space away from each other for a while. If your system has a manager or gatekeeper, it could be worth it to try and set up a fronting schedule so they don’t always have to interact with each other. Getting space doesn’t mean that they’ll never be able to make amends and grow closer in the future! But sometimes what needs to happen in the moment is simply allowing these headmates to have some time apart.

Making Compromises

We believe that this is the most important way to start finding common ground and easing tensions within a system. It’s impossible for everyone to always get what they want, but that doesn’t mean compromises can’t sometimes be made! Whenever possible, we’d encourage your system members to meet conflicts, disagreements, and arguments with the potential for compromise.

Compromising means some headmates may have to make concessions in order for everyone to be happy. It may involve changing plans or readjusting expectations. Flexibility and a willingness to work together will undoubtedly help your whole system find solutions to your disagreements that benefit everyone.

A perfect compromise to a situation might not come easily! And there may not be a good compromise where everyone gets what they want in every instance. If your system makes a compromise that one headmate does not agree with, you can do things like explaining your reasoning to this headmate and keeping them in mind for future decisions so that they don’t feel unheard or left out.

Conclusion

Dealing with in-system conflict can regularly be a difficult challenge. It’s not always easy to find common ground with headmates or come to terms with sharing a body, mind, time, and resources with the rest of your system members. Your system may find your own ways of managing conflict and disagreements which we haven’t mentioned here, and that’s okay!

In all this, remember that learning how to effectively get along will be a process that takes time and effort. It’s normal and understandable for a system to struggle much more with conflict early on, but we firmly believe that things can improve for any system with patience and practice.

Beneath the cut we have a few examples from our own system on how we use these methods to ease tensions and get along with each other a bit better. If you’ve made it this far, thanks so much for reading! And good luck with learning how to get along better with your system in the future.

Brainstorming Example:

Kip wants to go to our town’s art museum, but Alucard wants to hang out at the mall. We don’t have enough energy to do both… So we collaborate to come up with a unique solution. We decide to instead go swimming at the lake - an activity that both parts enjoy which also allows our littles to cofront to play and splash around.

Prior Commitment Example:

Cecil wants to go to the library on a day when Parker had already committed to helping our friends move. Since Parker had already made plans before Cecil decided to go to the library, we’ll postpone our library trip so we can honor our previous commitment.

Getting a Second Opinion Example (Piercing mention):

Alucard wants a nose piercing, but Toby does not want any holes in the body. They brought this disagreement to the system meeting, where Kiki and Ghost helped decide that we should hold off on getting a piercing for a while and see how everyone feels this time next year.

Getting Space Example:

Nameless and Parker have major political disagreements which cause them to often have heated, painful arguments. At this point, it is easier to try and keep them separated than it would be to force them to spend time with each other when they’d rather do literally anything else.

Compromise Examples:

Ghost and Benji want to spend our afternoon in different ways. They agree to compromise by setting an hour timer so they both can do the activities they were looking forward to.

Cherry wants to play pretend in the yard, but Alucard is cofronting and doesn’t want to go outside. They compromise by playing pretend inside and building a pillow fort.

Basil wants to become a better writer, but Kip thinks we should be spending creative time working on art. They decide to work together by making a comic which involves both art and writing.

[kimchicuddles]

Ha, I don't remember what I was struggling with when I made this one but I think my internal conversations have become a lot more chill overall... Thank you so much for supporting my work!!! Keep up with behind the scenes and special perks on patreon.com/kimchicuddles (you can also leave me a one time donation / tip / bday present on venmo @ venmo.com/tikvawolf

[throatgina-sausage]

[moutainrusing]

I feel kind of bad for not doing more than the one of your prompt yet 🙈 But you wrote both of mine so good I want to make another request:

Trick 🎃 Pandora/Lily, Prompt: necklace

No pressure, of course. Happy writing! ✨️

There was life outside, and there was life within, where Pandora’s family lived. They lived in the forest. They lived in a cave. There was luxury, and there was necessity, and Pandora’s family only took what they needed from the Earth, they didn’t indulge, they didn’t bite off more than they could chew, they were sensible, they lived a life on the middle ground, never verging into extravagance of any kind.

Pandora wasn’t allowed to buy, she was to take what was left over, graciously, she was supposed to live a life of simplicity with her family, because that was what humans were born to do. Humans were animals, and why did they need more than what the Earth naturally provided for them? Why was there greed?

Ever since she was a child, Pandora knew that she would never abuse the Earth’s resources. She would never exacerbate pollution by using devices which stole minerals from the ores of her home, nor would she use objects that had been compressed in factories, burning coal and releasing gases which suffocated her planet, which prevented life from breathing. Seeing that life couldn’t breathe due to the destructive desire of wanting more than the beauty which already existed cracked something in Pandora’s chest, maybe a rib, sticking it into her heart and twisting until her chest was hollow. There’d be plants trodden all over, paths cut through the forest that was her home, flowers drooping at the stem where they’d been squashed underfoot, stumps of trees with the circles of life engraved into their abandoned corpses, where there could’ve been more, where there should’ve been more, but people wanted more of something else.

But when Pandora pressed her hand to the natural remains, in an act of remembrance and mourning, they’d grow back, stemming from inside of her, taking root in her veins. Her parents didn’t understand what it was, but they loved anything which helped nature, so they loved it. This ability to make things grow, to conjure flowers, to nurture a garden within seconds.

At age eleven, Pandora’s cave received its first visitor.

“Now, this seems a lovely home,” a voice hummed approvingly, and the wild-looking, rounded face of a giant appeared at the cave’s entrance, back hunched as he bent down to grin at the family toothily. “Reminds me of meh hut down in Hogwarts, only yeh wouldn’t know what Hogwarts was just yet, would yer?”

Pandora blinked. “No…”

“Well, that’d be why I’m ‘ere to tell yer,” he nodded wisely, stroking his beard. He thrust out a large hand, “I’m Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts. S’a school for magic, ‘cause yer a witch, Pandora.”

Pandora gingerly shook his hand, “Okay…”

Hagrid beamed, holding a hand out to each of her parents.

“Er—” her mum stammered, “Nice to meet you?”

Hagrid’s beam stretched even wider, “Nice to meet yeh too!” He shook their hands with added vigour, and her dad looked rather dizzy when it was over.

“Um,” he blinked owlishly. “What do you mean that our daughter’s a witch?”

“She can do magic!” Hagrid exclaimed. “Yer know, haven’t yeh seen her? Often starts quite young, I’d think.”

Pandora’s eyes widened in realisation, “Oh! Yes, we know.”

“Good, good,” Hagrid nodded emphatically, reaching into his pocket. He was wearing clothes. Produced by unnatural practices, Pandora observed. She wore animal-skin. From his pocket, he pulled out paper, “This is yer letter, for the school—”

Pandora’s eyes bulged while her parents gasped, and her dad shook his head, “We don’t support paper. The way people destroy trees to make it,” he tutted sadly.

“And we can’t send her to school,” her mum placed a hand on Pandora’s shoulder, pulling her away from the paper.

“But,” Hagrid frowned. “She needs to hone her magic. Jus’…” he weakly held the letter out, “read it?”

“I…” Pandora looked at the weird green lines, tangled like stems in strange knots. “I don’t know how…”

“Oh,” Hagrid let out a sound of surprise, drawing the letter to his eyes. He squinted, before chucking it to the side, “Ye, same.”

Her dad leaped for it, scowling as he picked it up, “You can’t—” he cut himself off, fingers flexing as he glared at the litter.

Hagrid gave him a funny look, “Everything alright?”

Her dad clenched his jaw, “So, she needs to go to this school?”

“Ye,” Hagrid nodded eagerly. “She’ll be taught by the best teachers, they learn how to cast spells an’—”

“Do they learn how to nurture plants?” her mum pressed seriously.

“Yea, ‘erbology, was me bes’ subject actually, after Care o’ Magical Creatures—”

“They learn how to care for plants and animals?” her dad repeated. He’d obtained the information he needed. Her parents shared a glance.

“Okay,” her mum conceded. “We’ll send her.”

- - -

Beech wood, phoenix feather core, twelve inches, flexible. Pandora’s parents didn’t like her wand. Made from chopping trees. In order to buy it, her family had to take a loan from the bank, with the expectation to pay it back with money they did not have. Pandora would somehow have to earn. Looking extremely perplexed, Hagrid patted her back and told her that she could help him out around the school, and he’d give her a share of his earnings. It was seven Galleons.

Then after fretting over having to buy her books, Hagrid assured Pandora’s parents that Hogwarts had a library with all the books anyway, looking rather like a confused dog owner wondering why his pets weren’t happy with the treats he gave them, but gently trying to calm them down all the same. He wanted Pandora to buy a heap of other necessary equipment, but her parents grumbled, “Why can’t the students just share? They don’t need a cauldron each! They don’t even need cauldrons at all.”

Again, Hagrid was bewildered, his mouth opening as if to say something, but for words he didn’t yet know. He simply shut it again and fiddled with his beard. In conclusion, Pandora left Diagon Alley, a place filled to the brim with unnecessary manufacturing, with only a wand.

They were supposed to buy robes, except her parents didn’t like those either. For Pandora’s uniform, they took natural dyes from plants in the forest and coloured Pandora’s animal-skin black, trimmed it with sharpened rocks into the shape resembling a witch’s cloak. Pandora had smoothed the material with the flat side of a pebble, and scented it with roses by leaving it in a flower-bed.

She thought it was perfect.

- - -

Generally, when one couldn’t read or write, school was a struggle. For Pandora, it meant she didn’t have to feel guilty over using paper, because she wouldn’t waste it by scrawling uselessly over it with poisonous ink if she couldn’t. She was good with spells, the brewing of potions, tending to plants and looking after creatures. One didn’t need to write for that. The need for books was redundant when Pandora could tell the stories she weaved in her mind, store the information she acquired through practical experience in her brain.

Other students had to take written tests, but the first time paper had been placed upon her desk, Pandora had a nosebleed. It always happened, she couldn’t, it was wrong, it was abuse to nature, and she couldn’t breathe, it was suffocating while she was hyperventilating, and in concern, she’d been pulled out of exams. Teachers were often confused by her, but they let her be, as if she were a lost cause. Maybe she was. But Pandora knew she was good. She had the ability to be magical, to use her powers to aid what she loved the most. In the Forbidden Forest, the beginnings of trees would take root beneath her feet, one tree to replace every wooden desk inside the castle. Animals were safe crawling over her skin, she knew how to cradle them in her arms, and she understood that they felt, all the time, that they had emotions which were just the same as hers.

Whenever Pandora stumbled over a dead animal, the victim of old age or murder, she knew how to clean its skin and make natural clothes, the way she replenished her set of robes, dyed black with plant sap. Because of her robes, she thought, other students stayed away from her. Or maybe it was her face. Often muddy. Maybe it was the way she lived. People called it weird.

Pandora supposed that was true, because weird was something the majority didn’t do. Did that make it bad, though?

- - -

There was this person in Pandora’s class. Lily. During lessons, Pandora would stare at the back of her head. Because vivid, copper-coloured hair cascaded down Lily’s back, stopping at her waist, and it was so long. Practically a waterfall. With ripples in it. What sort of hair routine would Lily need to look after it? How many products? A lot. A waste of resources, to have that much hair. Pandora’s was always cropped to her skull. It was less wasteful that way. But Lily expressed herself with long hair. But it was wasteful, but why wasn’t Lily allowed to look how she wanted? It hurt the planet, but did it?

Did it? Was Pandora just an awful person, adamantly against self-expression?

She swallowed, took a gulp of air, a big, long, deep one, and she could smell Lily’s hair, the scent was on her tongue, flowery and that was natural, but it wasn’t, because it was processed unnaturally, but why couldn’t Lily smell good if she wanted to? Self-care was good. But what about nature?

Wasn’t it natural for animals to smell good? To look after their appearance? Pandora put her clothes in rose bushes, other people just used soap. Soap: compressed and stolen from the materials of her planet. It was their planet too. Pandora wasn’t allowed to judge them for it, hate them for it, she couldn’t force people to see it her way, and what if her way was too extreme? What if it cut off happiness by stopping people doing what they wanted? But why did people even want when they had joy all around them? In trees, in lakes, in rivers, in meadows, there was everything, there were friendships with fellow animals, talking, story-telling, laughing.

There were also fights. Hunger. Places where if one was trapped with no means of escape, they would die. That was why people created, maybe. To find a way to make it easy. Then they got caught up in it, the art of creation, they used it extensively and excessively, if one had money, then why not spend it? Why not throw lavish celebrations in honour of opulence? Why not? That weird one, Pandora, would have no say in it.

It was weird. Both sides were probably extreme. Pandora had always thought her side was the middle ground, but other people must think that of their side. A conflict of interest. That was what led to fights. Pandora would have to contain this feeling, the pit in her gut because something was wasted.

- - -

Lily was really pretty.

Pandora was staring again. If she breathed carefully, focused on it, there was a gentle floral aroma wafting from Lily’s hair, mingling with the air, as if instead of trapped inside a classroom, Pandora was in open meadows, fields endlessly dotted with the flowers woven through Lily’s hair, jasmine, hibiscus, lavender, down by the lakes, water lilies bobbing over the surface, like Lily’s hair when it swished in a breeze or when she tilted her head, and all Pandora could think of was that.

There was also the slope of Lily’s nose when she turned to the side, like a smoothly curved mountain, gently rolling to the bow of her lips, scattered with freckles, they were calendula orange king flowers, they were miniature tiger lilies, they were speckled across her cheeks like the skin of a citrus, rounded fruits which gleamed in the sunlight, the ones Pandora could pluck ripe from trees and sink into with her teeth, apples flushing red, natural sugar within, sweet and mouth-watering, and if Pandora were to peel back the skin, would she find Lily? In every memory she had, Pandora now saw Lily. Lily’s lips were in the twisting of tree trunks when they formed a bow, her eyes were in the deep emerald of the leaves in a shadowy forest, or when she was smiling, her eyes were in the sunlit grass. Lily was everywhere.

And she was so pretty.

Maybe Pandora was jealous. Jealous that Lily didn’t have to think about waste with every action she did, jealous that Lily could use shampoo without feeling burning guilt over hurting the environment.

Jealous that Lily could wear a necklace.

Because Lily wore a necklace, gold clasped daintily around her throat, a shining thread with a heart dangling at the end, swinging like a pendulum when Lily laughed, and Pandora observed how the heart flashed in the light, cast beams across her desk, a way for her and Lily to connect.

Pandora wanted that necklace. She wanted to touch it while it was around Lily’s neck, but she couldn’t. That metal would have needed to be extracted from the Earth, mined out of ores, costly to the environment as it contributed to pollution, contaminating the soil by digging for it, a necklace which shone gold. That was a rare metal, and using it was wasteful.

Maybe it was sentimental. Maybe Lily wore it because she enjoyed it. But Pandora wanted to tug it from Lily’s neck, twine the necklace around her fingers and pull, and Lily would stumble towards her, Lily’s hair would fall below her nostrils and Pandora would breathe it in, Lily would be so close to her, chained by the metal, and why did people like chains? Weren’t they uncomfortable? Weren’t they cold? Could Lily feel them as they choked against the back of her neck? It could be killing her. It was killing Pandora to look at it. Killing the Earth to exist.

A necklace.

Laced around the neck. Pull it, and suffocate the way the Earth had suffocated when it was made, the way the Earth was still suffocating, because people like Lily kept wearing jewellery, mined, hammered, processed material.

Swallowing down a bitter feeling, Pandora looked away.

The air still tasted like Lily.