#Cecil is so fucking funny to me

[doodles-with-noodles]

Cecil „What the fuck are you showing me you will not achieve anything by doing that“ Murray

VS.

Ian „Hello I am a psychologist and you are traumatized“ Roscoe

+bonus Ed Bailey if anyone cares

[intern-echo]

Joseph and Jeffrey are better than me because the fact they've gone this long without trying to scare us with an episode called "Video Killed the Radio Star" is BEYOND ME

[sage-nebula]

I can't sleep so I'm just laying here in the dark thinking about how at least 3 different sets of "older brother raised younger brother and so the older one is both brother and parental guardian" sets of fictional characters have given be brainrot at different periods in my life.

[redhallow]

the “MARINE BIOLOGY” line from Lubelle’s final monologue to Carlos becomes so much funnier in perspective when you consider the amount of people that draw their headcanon of Cecil with some amount of Cthulu-esque squid-ness

[thevoiceofdesertbluffs]

Cecil when. When the funny bone man says a funny

Anyways I just think they would actually get along. Why? *shrug*, they just would

[soulsxng]

@fatestouch replied to your post:

i remember the heart thing with Baet specifically but all of these are golden fjsbsns

Man, I just remember both the muns and muses all like "umm--?" and all I could do was

"Yeah, I...I don't know what to say, guys. Baphomet is...eccentric? He does this kind of thing, sometimes."

[chisungie]

.

[mediumgayitalian]

“Death Breath! Hey! Wait up!”

Nico bolts. He makes it about ten feet away from his cabin door before Will and his stupid long legs catch up with him, throwing an arm over his shoulder and then immediately tripping over his own foot and sending them both sprawling.

“I hate you,” Nico groans, curling up on the grass.

It’s too early for any of this. He was just trying to get back at Cecil for covering everything he owned in aluminum foil last week — and then he was going to go right the hell back to bed.

He knew he should have fucking shadow travelled.

“Aw, c’mon. You love me.”

Nico pretends to gag. The only thing he gets is Will’s crossed arms and raised eyebrow, so he doubles down and really starts to retch. Whatever. It’s eight thirty in the morning. He fell asleep at five. Rational thinking is a distant, distant memory.

“Whenever you’re done.”

“I will be sick at the thought for the next eight weeks,” Nico informs him. For dramatic effect, he looks up at Will’s face — which he cant even see, since the sun’s in his eyes — and shudders.

“You know, you have a genuine, beautiful talent for the dramatic arts, the likes of which I have never seen. Are you sure you’re not secretly an Apollo kid?”

I better not be, ‘cause then all the staring I do at your calves would be real weird, he thinks to himself, then considers whether he can convince Kayla to give him a lobotomy. He thinks she might like the opportunity.

“Piss off,” he says instead of that, artfully schooling his face into the aristocratic mask he’s perfected from his father, squaring his shoulders and looking at Will like he’s a pebble lodged in the flesh of his heel.

Will rolls his eyes. “Get up, Sharpay Evans. You’re gonna stain your shirt worse than you already have.”

Nico sniffs haughtily. “My shirt is perfectly fine, thank you very much. I order them in black for a reason.”

He notices a giant grass stain on the side when he stands. He ignores it. Will does not.

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re the Goth King.”

“Ghost King.”

“Right, right. That helps your case.”

Nico shoves him, fighting back a grin. “Whatever, Solace. What are you bothering me for?”

“Oh, yeah!”

Nico is a deeply cheesy person. Down to the core of him, past all the sarcasm and prickliness and trauma, or whatever, he’s made of fucking mozzarella, because what business does he have comparing Will’s eyes to the morning winter sky? Huh? That’s embarrassing. It isn’t even original. If Nico caught anyone saying shit like that out loud in real life, he’s collapse into the shadows from embarrassment. He needs electroshock therapy.

“I was thinking —”

“Rare,” Nico quips, just to watch Will’s eyebrow twitch. It does. Nico smiles.

“I was thinking,” he repeats, mocking glare in Nico’s direction, “that you and me go to the city this afternoon.”

“You chased me across camp for that?”

“Oh, please, Zombie Face. I chased you maybe twenty yards.”

“I think all that time sniffing rubbing alcohol has deteriorated your brain.”

“I think I’m going to shove you in the lake.”

“Feel free to try. You will not wake up the next morning.”

“Nah.” Will shoots him a smug smile. Nico trips over air. “I can be as annoying as I want and you still won’t kill me. I have impunity.”

Nico rolls his eyes, refusing to dignify that with an answer. The less he acknowledges his own shame, the more likely it will go away on its own. Probably.

“Anyways. Guess what Cecil told me today.”

“His last will and testament?” Nico guesses, suddenly remembering his reason for being up this early.

“No, no, not that.” Will pauses. “Well, I mean, he did. I passed it on to Chiron. He has requested that when you maul him, you avoid his face, because he wants to be a sexy corpse and he can’t do that if you destroy his prettiest features.”

“Noted. Please inform him I will come for him within a window of the next fifteen hours.”

Theres a very particular face Will makes when he finds something genuinely funny. A smile a little more crooked than his regular one, teeth working at his bottom lip to hold it back, left dimple appearing in his cheek. It makes Nico want to do stupid things like press his thumb into said divot. He instead shoves his hands deeply into his pockets.

“I’ll let him know.” He clears his throat. “Anyways. You know what day it is today?”

Nico squints. “Tues…day? No, Wednesday.” He glances at Will. It’s been maybe….three days since their weekly sleepover? No, fuck, four. He thinks. “Thursday. Final answer.”

“Monday,” Will corrects, “and, gods, you need to sleep more. And a calendar. But no, that’s not my point.”

“Feel free to get to it.”

“It’s Valentine’s Day,” Will finally explains. He tries for exasperated, but it doesn’t work — he’s clearly excited, bouncing on the balls of his feet and waving his hands. “And The Five Seasons is doing half off for couples, so you and I need to go!”

He waves his hands, as if tying off some grand reveal. His (blue blue blue blue) eyes are squeezed nearly shut by the force of his beam, which lessons slightly with every second Nico does not respond.

“William,” he says finally. He opens his mouth, then closes it again. “William.”

Will pouts. “What?”

“Explain how this is relevant to me, William.”

“Aw, c’mon, Nico! Don’t be difficult!”

“William,” stresses Nico again. “We are not a couple. Did you hit your head again?”

“Well, duh, Neeks, it’s about the scam!” He flaps his hand in a way Nico assumes is meant to convey something. “We’re gonna — eat! Cheap! By pretending to be a couple!” Now both hands are flopping, paired with wide, imploring eyes. “Obviously!”

“Obviously,” Nico repeats, slowly. He instructs one half of his brain to keep its focus on not melting into a puddle of blushing embarrassed goo, and the other to exercise restraint and not strangle the boy in front of him. A headache begins to press behind his eyes. “Will, what the shit.”

“You of all people!” Will throws his hands up. “You love scamming people! You hate corporate holidays! You frequently throw pebbles at people who look, and I quote, too obnoxiously happy! You’re the best hater I know! You should be on board!”

He makes a compelling point. Not that Nico is going to make that easy for him.

“You seem very invested in this,” Nico points out. He manages to keep his voice tastefully judgmental, which he’s very proud of.

“Of course I am! I want cheap Five Seasons food, godsdammit!” He pauses, switching tactics. “Nico,” he says softly. He puts a gently hand on Nico’s forearm, making him freeze. He is suddenly very, very close, and wow, did his hair always frame his face in gentle waves? Has that always been a thing? “I really, really want to scam a restaurant with you.” He smiles, small and crooked and gods, Will doesn’t look dangerous very often, but holy Hades when he does — “Will you make my Valentines, and scam a restaurant with me?”

His fingers begin to trace little circles in the inside of Nico’s wrist.

“Yes,” he squeaks, voice cracking.

“Yes!” Will cheers, pulling his fist. “Yes, hell yes, Nico! We are going to scam the shit out of this restaurant! Half off for couples? How about half off for heathens! Free money, baby! Fuck yeah!”

He turns back towards Nico, smile still wide and radiant, blinking eyes pools of sparkling excitement. Nico’s knees go a little weak. “I’ll come get you at 2! Thank you, Neeks!”

He runs off back to his cabin, only tripping twice. Nico watches him go, feeling a little like he’s tripping, too, with all the swooping his stomach is doing.

“Dude,” he mumbles to himself, shaking his head. “Be normal. Christo.”

It takes him ten straight minutes to get back to his cabin, even though he’s standing at the porch.

———

The obsidian handle of the Hades’ cabin door rattles.

“Neeks!” calls a voice behind the door, “you ready to go?”

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.” Nico scrambles over to the mirror and stares at himself. He turns a little to the left. He scowls. “Shit!” Tugging the shirt off, he turns back to his closet, tossing the piece of clothing to join the rest of its brethren on the floor. “Shitfuck. Fuckshit. Shit.”

“Nico!”

“Coming!”

Tapping his foot rapidly, he looks harder, as if that will magically make the right shirt pop into existence, perfectly pressed, on a hanger. “Shit.”

“What could possibly be taking so long? You’ve had two hours!”

“I care about my appearance, Mr Flip Flops and Scrubs!”

“Bleh bleh! Hurry up!”

Nico bites his lip. It shouldn’t matter. It doesn’t, really. Five Seasons is not actually a fancy restaurant. He and Will just like to joke that it is, because it has tablecloths. They’ve gone there dozens of times before; they stop every time they’re in the city for supply runs or visits to Olympus or to harass their summer-only friends at school. There is literally no reason for Nico to be stressing about what stupid shirt he should wear. Gods know Will is wearing cargo shorts.

“Nico!”

“I’m coming!“

Scowling, he digs through the pile of discarded clothes until he finds the first shirt he’d put on — a dark green button up that was given to him, along with a bunch of other fancy clothes he never wears, by the Aphrodite cabin. He hastily shoves their buttons through their holes, cursing when he mixes them up and has to start over, and sprints over to the mirror to inspect himself.

The shirt looks good. It’s a little tight on the arms, which he suspects was on purpose, and the colour compliments his skin nicely. The buttons are a dark, shiny brown that match his eyes. They pair nice with his simple jeans and black vans, casual enough that he doesn’t look like he’s going to Prom, or anything stupid like that, but dressy enough that it looks like he put effort in. He runs his fingers through his hair, trying to make the staticky strands sit right, but gives up pretty quickly. It’s okay if one thing is a little messy, right?

“Finally,” huffs Will as the door swings open. He glances Nico up and down, then grins. “You look great.”

Nico was right. He is indeed wearing cargo shorts, although to his credit they are his one pair without various Head Medic stains. His sweater, too, is a pretty blue, V-necked, long-sleeved, and a completely different style than his shorts. It clashes horribly. His shoes are, for some reason, bright solid pink. Nico suspects Hecate magic. His hair is braided in two French braids, his favourite way to wear it. Nico believes he is also wearing a touch of sparkly eyeshadow.

“You look dorky.”

Will grins wider. “Thank you! I wouldn’t let anyone help me choose something.”

“You should have.”

“I wanted it to be authentic, Nico. Also, got something for you.” From behind his back, he pulls out a handful of daisies, black dirt clinging to their roots, like he plucked them straight from the ground. Nico is inexplicably endeared by the image, and prays the smile on his face is less soft than he knows it is.

“You got me flowers?”

“Well, duh, Avril Lavigne. We gotta sell the scam.”

Nico brings them close to his face and inhales deeply. They smell fresh and earthy and sweet.

“That’s a stupid reason to bring someone flowers.”

“Give them back, then.”

“No. Fuck off. They’re mine.”

Will’s eyes twinkle. “Okay.” He holds out his arm. “Ready to go?”

The jump is close enough that Nico can convince him to shadow travel, and not just because he sadistically looks forward to the shade of green Will’s face will get after. As dangerous as he knows it can be, he misses it, sometimes. There’s something comforting about it, something soothing and familiar. Shadow travelling to the restaurant eases any lingering nerves.

“If you’re gonna throw up, do it somewhere I can’t hear you,” he says as they materialize in an alley.

Will’s cheeks puff out. “I’m gonna do it on your fuckin’ shoes.”

“I will leave your ass here, Solace, I swear to the gods.” Despite his grumbling, he rests a cool hand on the back of Will’s neck until he’s recovered. “Good?”

“Yeah.” He straightens, dusting off his sweater. “Let’s go.”

Nico follows him down the alley and onto the street, elbowing past the crowd of pedestrians until they approach the familiar glass doors. He rolls his eyes fondly every time Will apologizes to someone.

“You need to be meaner.”

Will sticks his tongue out and tries to trip him. Unfortunately, he only manages to throw himself off balance, nearly crashing to the floor of Nico hadn’t caught him.

“Good gods, Solace.”

“That was your fault!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

The doors of the restaurant are absolutely plastered in cheesy red hearts and bows and cartoon kisses. And, as promised, a giant sign promising couples a fifty percent discount on their meals.

“My love,” says Will dramatically, holding out a hand, “shall we?”

Nico sighs, resting his hand delicately in Will’s. It sparks with electricity, like it always does. “I suppose.”

“Party pooper.”

“I’m not hearing oh, Nico, thank you so much for doing this incredibly stupid thing with me, you are my dearest friend and I owe you one. Or three, for some reason.”

Will’s mouth twitches. “Oh, Nico, thank you so much for —”

Nico shoves him, laughing. “Shut up.”

They’re seated pretty quickly, server smiling when they take notice of their clasped hands. Will orders chicken tenders, like he does every single time without fail, and water. Nico orders from the adult menu and absolutely does not make any kind of show about it.

“There is nothing babyish about chicken tendies.”

“Oh, of course not.”

“Is this about you having a credit card? That does not make you more adult than me. It makes you a nepo baby.”

“Mhm. Sure thing.”

“Nobody likes a nepo baby, Nico.”

“Look, I think your drink comes with a complimentary sippy cup.”

Teasing and joking with Will is so easy that Nico forgets the core of their mission. The pink garlands hanging from the ceiling fade into the background — he’s too busy crying with laughter when Will nearly chokes to death on a french fry, too busy flicking a forkful of food at his shoulder just to make him shriek, too busy kicking his shin under the table. He catches Nico’s foot between his the fourth time he tries it, keeping it trapped for the rest of the meal. Nico finds he doesn’t mind.

“And your bill,” says their server when they’re done, setting down a slip of paper. “Forgive me if I’m being presumptuous, but do you two qualify for today’s discount?”

Will smirks widely. “We do,” he says, with no small amount of pleasure. He shoots Nico the least subtle wink of all time. Nico rolls his eyes, cheeks going a little pink.

“Great! You guys have a wonderful Valentine’s day.”

“You, too.”

The server hurries away, turning to their other tables. Will’s smile is wide and smug.

“I knew it would work.”

“Duh. Easiest scam in the world, Solace.”

He sticks his tongue out. “And thus the best payout. You’re welcome.”

“Blah, blah. Gimme the bill.”

“Um, no way, di Angelo. I’m paying.”

He opens his wallet before Nico can stop him, mouthing as he counts the bills.

“What? No! I’m paying.”

“Are not.”

“Am too!”

“Are not.” He sets down a couple twenties. Nico snatches them right back up. “You we’re just complaining about my credit card!”

“Exactly. Thus my need to continue to pretend you don’t have one, so we can continue our friendship.”

“Solace, I swear to the gods.”

“di Angelo, I swear to the gods.”

Nico stares him down. Will stares back. He doesn’t even try to hide his lazy grin, his laughing eyes.

“You’re not paying for this by yourself,” Nico says firmly. “You don’t have a job. My father invented being rich.”

“Sure, but I made you come with me.”

“Ugh!” Nico throws his hands up, imagining how satisfying it would be to wrap his hands around that long neck (followed by his teeth and his tongue and his —). “Why are you impossible? I would’ve gone with you no matter what, stupid!”

As soon as he says it he wants to stick his head in wet cement. For a brief second, something like surprise flits across Will’s face, before he schools it back into his teasing smirk.

“Well, obviously, Death Breath. I’m excellent company.”

“You’re literally the most annoying person I know.”

“And yet here you are, hanging out with me, of your own volition.”

“…I’m paying next time.”

Will grins. “Whatever you say.”

They walk around the city for a while before heading back to camp. Will says it’s because he needs the air, Nico knows it’s because he wants him to rest a little longer before trying to shadow travel again. He tries not to let himself get all melty inside.

(Nobody willingly hangs out around the city for the ‘air’. He’s a shit liar. Nico should be offended.)

It’s nearing curfew by the time they melt back out from behind Thalia’s tree, extra shadows of early evening making the trip easier.

“Those fries are going to make a reappearance,” Will grimaces.

“Not if you don’t want me to kick you in the face.”

“You’d never.”

He would indeed never. But he would rather pass away than admit it, so.

“C’mon, dot face. It’s getting late. You have a cabin to run.”

“Oh, Nico,” Will says in a breathy falsetto, “are you walkin’ me to my cabin? How chivalrous!”

“Nevermind.”

“No no no no no I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” Nico allows himself to be tugged, weak to Will’s giggles. “Walk me to my cabin. C’mon.”

Sighing, as if he’s so put out, Nico does. Some point in between Thalia’s tree and the amphitheater, Will’s hand slides down from around his wrist to tangled in between his fingers. Coincidentally, his mouth goes dry.

As they approach the Apollo cabin, Will slows to a stop.

“Hey.” He squeezes their fingers together, smile soft in the dying light of dawn. “I had fun today. Thank you for coming with me.”

Nico swallows. One day, those words will be said in a different context, if everything goes well for Nico, and he’s not sure how the hell he’s going to handle it without bursting into flame. “Yeah, well. Anything to scam a restaurant.”

“Right.”

They walk the last few steps to the cabin, rickety porch steps creaking under their feet as they approach the open door. Will doesn’t let go.

“Hey, Nico.”

“…Yeah?”

Quick as a flash, Will leans in and presses the softest of kisses to his mouth. The noise Nico makes is practically punched out of his lungs, spine going rigid in surprise.

“You can pay for our next date, okay?”

He’s gone before Nico can respond, ducking into his cabin with a small smile and closing the door behind him. Nico stands there, like an idiot, for three solid minutes at the very least, distantly aware of the giggles coming through the open window.

His hand comes up, fingers brushing his bottom lip.

“The little fucker set me up.”

Valentine’s day scam. Please. The only scam today was the scam of Will’s sneaky asking.

Nico smiles.

“You’re a mess, Solace!” he shouts, knowing damn well Will is listening.

He’s right. “Goodnight, Nico!”

Shaking his head, Nico runs back to his cabin, entire body tingling and cheeks aching with his grin.

[favcharacterpoll]

ROUND 6 MATCH 3: CECIL VS. C!WILBUR

Cecil Palmer from Welcome to Night Vale faces c!Wilbur from the dsmp. @10piecechickenmcnugget get over here sage

Cecil Propaganda:

"Cecil is not only the Tumblr sexyman, he is the first gay protagonist of a podcast that most of us have ever heard. From the very first episode he was unashamedly queer and no one has ever called him out or given him shit for being gay. He is a gay Jewish fashion disaster who is the mouthpiece for an incredibly bizarre town and plays the whole “this horrifying thing is completely normal”thing so well. If Cecil wasn’t there, I think a lot of people wouldn’t have felt so accepted for just being who they were. Cecil is an inspiration and the queer podcast rep we all deserved as we were growing."

"he’s gay. he’s a dilf. he’s ageless. he has been since there’s was nothing and he’s still here after the world ended. he can summon music. his mother is a oracle his father is a tree. his cat is a man who got cursed and also has wings a stinger and poison??? he thinks a tutu and crocs is formal wear and has talked to god and she said ‘I love you. I’m sorry’. he’s definitely guilty of manslaughter from negligence"

"this is the website Night Vale built!"

c!Wilbur Propaganda:

"Accurate depiction of mental health and spiral, handled delicately and deliberately, every piece of his story was thought and planned and in the end he went home to Utah. Thank you lord."

"Please don’t let the name dream smp effect how you feel about this submission, this character is completely unrelated to dream and I’m pretty sure the person who played him has nothing to do with dream anymore. This man single handedly got me through a horrible patch filled with extreme paranoia by also being extremely paranoid. Genuinely really helped me feel seen and I coped a lot by getting invested in this character. I almost cried when he died :("

"He’s so fucking stupid. I could infodump for hours this man transed my gender. Everything has gone wrong in his life. He’s the definition of a bisexual disaster."

"I didn’t fail 10th grade math bc I was thinking about c!wilbur for him to lose round one"

"I mean look at him!! his Minecraft skin is adorable!!!"

"if you people vote for cwilbur i'll draw him in a bikini."

"A VOTE FOR C!WILBUR IS A VOTE FOR GIRLBOYS EVERYWHERE"

"i should not have underestimated minecraft fans they came together"

"Season 1 changed me. I didn’t know minecraft videos could have good acting, dramatic plots, etc. Wilbur was one of the best there. His plot was so interesting with the L’Manburg and the unfinished symphony arcs. He was funny, dramatic, sad… I fondly remember my dsmp days (though I only saw up to like part of Tommy’s exile)"

[artistformerlyknownasbutttrumpet]

am only tangentially aware of the sexyman poll thing, but seeing ppl on my dash, whom i've never seen talk about wtnv, suddenly going to bat for cecil so hard gives me actual real emotions? and i can't even be cringe about it. when i found wtnv i was an unmedicated undergraduate student living month to month in an apartment in a shit neighborhood, and that podcast deadass kept me from a stint in a psych ward, dude. i am years behind on the episodes, but it like, legit rewired my brain and taught me how to cope with my existential despair by making it something beautiful and funny instead of something to fear. i'm not a merch person generally, but i am literally at this moment, without even realizing it, wearing a wtnv shirt and pants (the ones with creepy on the butt, obviously. i have the booty shorts too. both are quite literally the most comfortable pants i own, jsyk). i have a fucking wtnv tattoo (that joseph fink liked on twitter 84 years ago 💅) bc it's a quote that helps me when i am Dwelling. i listened to wtnv when i was studying creative writing in school and trying to figure out my own voice, and now i am on the brink of making a substantial living off of my books, and wtnv is definitely part of why. i have episode #13 "a story about you" memorized, bc it was (and occasionally still is) my go-to when i am not able to sleep bc of my brain. it calms me down. i've watched them live in three different cities (two different countries), bc i wanted to see them, and also bc i wanted to support the cast and crew. i'm not staying up until midnight on episode drop days anymore. idk what's going on with the plot. but i will always, always, always love that stupid podcast, and owe it more than i can repay

idk, i just like seeing it on my dash again. feels good. feels organic

[jayke0]

Moron

Pairing: Blue Jones and Cecil Dennis x fem reader

Summary: kinktober day 15, Free Use

Rating: 18+

Warnings/content: Free use (though probs not as much as expected), drunkeness, alcohol mentions, degrading, blowjob/facefucking, p in v, protected sex (condom), oral (f receiving), squirting, threesome, hair pulling, crying, Blue is his own warning, name calling, Cecil just being an overall dummy and saying funny things, lmk if there's anything else i should add :).

Word count: 1,982

Credit: @automnepoet for proofreading ily.

…………………………………………….......................

As much as Blue hates to admit it, you don't belong to him. You've had enough other men's cocks inside you by now for it to quite frankly be stupid of him to say it; yet he still does, he still tells you every time he's balls deep inside you that you belong to him and him only.

You have someone else that says the same kinda thing, but it's just the other way round. Cecil likes knowing that he's yours, and unlike yourself, he actually sticks to it… not that he could find any other girl that'd take his pathetic ass anyway.

The man comes stumbling into the club as usual, bottle in one hand and red stained cloth wrapped around the other. He asks around for you of course, but when he's directed towards the head of the club's office he's faced with something he didn't want to see in a million years; you, cheek pressed harshly against the desk as Blue Jones pounds you from behind, and the worst part is that you seem to be loving it.

Cecil bursts in, making both of you stop in your tracks.

"Heyy! You can't do that! She said she's for me!" The disheveled man protests.

Oh my god.

"Cecil– ah– get outta here! You dunno what you're getting yourself int—" you're silenced by a hard thrust from Blue, who'd only seemed to stop for a second at the disruption before continuing to slam into you harshly.

The sight makes Cecil wince, and he can already feel the tears welling in his eyes as he wipes his face on his sleeve.

"This your other man huh?" Blue leans over you and sneers in your ear. "The one you like to just give yourself too? Without even a care for the money he doesn't make me?" Blue eyes the other man before gesturing for him to come over to the both of you. "She's told me how pathetic you are, you're just a bumbling moron looking for a quickie, ain't you?"

Cecil shakes his head quickly, but the tears start falling down his face as he sniffles and tries to hide it in his jacket. His cheeks are so rosy and flushed, strands of curls falling in his face as his shoulders shudder. It's a sight that you're quite familiar with, and one that makes you more aroused than it probably should.

You manage to look up at Cecil despite the other man's hand wrapped around the back of your neck and pressing you against the hard wood. "Cecil baby, c'mere." You gesture for him to come closer after smacking Blue's wrist to slow down, which he surprisingly obliges to.

Cecil stumbles towards you and puts the bottle on the desk. Feeling your arms wrap around his waist is somewhat reassuring to the man and he sighs shakily, showing you his bloody hand with a pout. "I tried fucking some other girl, but she got pissed when I swallowed one of her rings by accident when I was sucking on her fingers."

You try not to laugh, but it's incredibly hard when the man just naturally gets himself into moronic situations.

Blue isn't as ashamed to hide his laughter, a raucously snarky chuckle coming from behind you.

You manage to prop yourself up on your elbows and you stroke his wrists, carefully running your fingers over his. "I want you to join, Cecil, will you do that for me?"

You know he's a sucker for pleasing you… and for getting his cock sucked whenever he can.

"Only if he shuts the fuck up." He points at Blue, which warrants a hard thrust from the club owner.

You gasp and nod. "He will baby, he will. C'mere, lemme make you feel better."

Your hands start working on Cecil's trousers, which is hard to do when you're getting your back blown out by your boss, especially one that favours you the most. Eventually you pry his slacks open to paw at his cock. You wrap your hand around the clothed flaccid length while the other holds onto his good hand; you know he loves that too, it makes him feel wanted.

It doesn't take very long for Cecil to get hard, despite being face to face with his 'contender', and soon he's rolling his hips into your hand and begging for your mouth.

"Damn, you get excited quick don't you?" Blue mocks, which makes Cecil whine and buck his hips into your hand.

You feel him rest his bad hand on your head and a little part of you hopes he doesn't get any fucking blood in your hair. Your attention is drawn back to the pathetic man that's now whaling for you to suck his dick.

"Please baby! Please please, I've been good— well apart from earlier but that don't count 'cause I didn't even get to stick it in."

You moan softly, since you love it when he tells you he's been good, before you pull his cock free of his underwear, the tip throbbing and leaking already.

Blue's pace seems to stop for a moment as he watches you take the blunt head in your mouth, wrapping your lips around Cecil's shaft while the man in question whimpers.

The club owner's cock twitches as he observes you taking it deeper and deeper till your nose is pressed against the scruffy man's abdomen, unkempt pubes tickling your skin.

"Shit, honey, you're so good at taking it in the throat aren't you?" Blue's hand runs over your head and you nod dumbly, loving the feeling of being full at both ends.

"Let's see how you fair while I'm fucking your brains out."

You whine and choke as Blue starts thrusting again. The way you get pushed forward only pushes you further down on Cecil's cock, who lets out a strangled moan.

Eventually you get your bearings and you're able to wrap your hand around the other's cock and pull off of him, just to take him all into your mouth once again.

Both the men moan at that and you feel Blue's hips start to stutter as he struggles to hold himself together, curses and moans coming out through clenched teeth.

"God, I love watching you being used, you like it don't you? Like having both your greedy holes filled? Just like the whore you are." Blue tugs your hair, which in turn pulls your mouth off of Cecil with a loud pop and a gurgled moan from you.

"I do, Blue! Fuck I love both your cocks." You whine, scrambling to get your mouth on the other man again.

Cecil tries to rock his hips forward with desperate cries, but the club owner keeps your head firmly pulled back.

"Beg for it, beg to suck his cock again."

"Oh c'mon! I thought you said you were gonna be quiet—" Cecil complains.

You whimper and whine, but Blue's grip is tight on your hair, and if you wait any longer you're going to cum all over the harsher man's cock before you even get your mouth on Cecil.

"Please Blue— please lemme help him— ah— he's so desperate for it I can't help it!"

That seems to work, the man letting go of your head to let you go back to what you were doing.

Cecil feels like he's going explode if he doesn't feel the warmth of your mouth soon, but finally your lips are wrapped around him again and he can hold the back of your head; this time going not so easy on you.

He fucks into your wet heat with staggered thrusts, his head tilted back in pleasure as he uses your throat for his own gain, loud pathetic whimpers coming from his lips.

" 'atta girl, all for us to use—" Blue pants. You can hear in his voice that he's getting close too, which you're relieved about, because you think if he continues fucking you like this your legs are going to give out and he'll have to hold you up.

"I wanna use you like this more— please lemme do this more, it's so nice." Cecil begs, but you're unsure if it's for you or for Blue.

"Wonder how many others I can get to fuck you, maybe one in this tight little hole here—" your boss runs his thumb over your other hole and it makes you choke out a moan.

The constricting of your throat is enough to make Cecil spill suddenly, his cock buried so deep in your throat that it bypasses your taste buds and pumps straight down your esophagus.

Blue is next to fill you up, his growls and moans making you whimper as he grips your hips and fills the condom with his arousal, his head tilting back to enjoy the feeling.

Your legs are shaking by the time the men both pull away, but you're left still strung high on that cliff, hoping to God that one of them will take mercy on your poor throbbing cunt.

Your prayers are answered sooner than you expect.

Blue's arms wrap underneath your knees and pull you up against his chest, your legs crushing against your own chest with your throbbing heat on show for Cecil.

All you can do is scramble a little in Blue's grasp; if you know him well enough, you know what he wants, and it's going to make you scream and claw at his arms from being so sensitive.

"I see you looking at her. Go on, use that stupid mouth for something good."

Cecil is drooling at the sight of your cunt spread for him like that and he drops to his knees, gazing up at you as if you're some kind of deity blessing him with your presence.

Your arms hold onto Blue's, bracing yourself for the way Cecil's tongue is going to make you squirm, but before you can, you feel hardness bumping against your cunt.

How the fuck is he hard again already?

You don't have time to contemplate before your boss is shoving his thick cock inside you once more, fucking you open by bouncing you on himself.

"Shit, I love this cunt, honey."

All you can do is shriek and clench around him, the feeling being enhanced when you feel Cecil's tongue working on your clit… He may not be the best at holding his load or fucking, but he definitely knows how to use his tongue.

You're driven closer and closer to ecstasy each time you're brought down on Blue's cock, Cecil's tongue waiting for you mercilessly every time the other is buried deep inside your cunt.

Your body feels like it's on fire, and it's only a matter of a few more thrusts before you're crying out for both of them, your body squeezing and tensing on Blue so much that you're pretty sure it winds him for a second. You feel pleasure rush through your body and out of your cunt, and it's only once you open your eyes that you realise what happened.

"Oh sh–shit... I'm sorry, Cecil..."

The man looks up at you in pure awe before shaking his head, pushing his dampened curls out of his face as he wipes your dripping arousal from his skin. "I had a girl actually piss on me once, so that was a much better surprise."

You aren't able to hold back a laugh this time, though it's definitely a shaky one... and you even hear Blue let out a quiet chuckle.

You're about to let yourself down, but the harsher man tightens his grip on your thighs, and that's when you realise he didn't cum. "Ah ah, where'd you think you're going, honey? You still owe me another orgasm, and I think I got a lot more friends that would wanna get in on this too, sweetheart."

...........................................................................

Prompts by: @/flightlessangelwings

Tagging people: @cowboymarcs @sad1st1c-wh0re @poopoobuttsy @boredzillenial @mllover260 @simpforbritgents @saevenswelt @partssoldseparately @keira-kaz2y5 @theincredibleinkspitter @l-lune @red-hydra @queerponcho @summonthesoups @motleyfolk @steven-grants-world @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

[byfulcrums]

Fuck it, Invincible Tumblr pt 2

🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow

Why's everyone calling me "Mr Invincible", don't do that it makes me feel old

🌙 artemislover Follow

YES MR INVINCIBLE OFC MR INVINCIBLE

🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow

I don't think you understood what I was trying to say

🧬 atomevesss☑️☑️ Follow

I don't get why wars happen like can't we just Not

🦖 redinosaurus Follow

Wars are not necessary, but death is. For this world to continue living, the majority of the population needs to die — the human race is hell-bent on destroying their beautiful planet, and so destroying them is the only way to save it.

They will die creating a better world.

🌟 notsovincible Follow

Woah there Light Yagami 😭

💥 gokaboombitch Follow

Im high as fuck rn and i was wondering if theres like virgin edibles? Like the ones without the drug in it things you can eat without getting high you know

🌟 notsovincible Follow

Bitch you mean food?????

🌟 notsovincible Follow

I was explaining to my brother the importance of human life and why we need to treasure it and he called me a pussy?? He literally just learned how to speak wtf

🦸‍♂️ omnimansmydadbitch Follow

Pussy.

🌟 notsovincible Follow

WHEN DID YOU GET ON SOCIAL MEDIA

🌭 hotdoghotwoof Follow

r we not gonna talk about how invincible has a brother that's apparently his dad's biggest fan

his dad, AKA the mass murderer

🦸‍♂️ omnimansmydadbitch Follow

pussy.

🌟 notsovincible Follow

Okay that's it, I'm telling mom

🧬 atomevesss☑️☑️ Follow

Have you ever made an incredible scientific discovery because you can see things on a molecular level, only for no one in your life (specifically your parents) to care about it

🌙 artemislover Follow

oof atom eve has parental issues?? just like me fr

🌟 notsovincible Follow

"It is what it is" well I hate what it is. Can it be something else

#i don't like my life. anymore

📸 missgrayson Follow

there's a ghost in my house wtf

🌟 notsovincible Follow

Call the Ghostbusters

📸 missgrayson Follow

Do they have an app, or a website, or something?

🌟 notsovincible Follow

No you just gotta call

📸 missgrayson Follow

Guess I'm stuck with this fucking ghost then

🌟 notsovincible Follow

..MOM??

#MOM OLIVER'S ON THIS APP

Delete this post? If you do, you'll never see it again!

Yes / No

🌟 notsovincible Follow

I accidentally just doxxed myself

🚫 globaldefenseofficial Follow

Stop compromising your identity.

We'll delete the post and every screenshot of it from social media — do NOT repeat this.

🌟 notsovincible Follow

Cecil I am SO sorry

💥 explodeyourass Follow

woke up and invincible doxxed himself. haha what a moron

🧬 atomevesss☑️☑️ Follow

You literally did that yourself last week. Moron.

💃 thedancingquinn Follow

I love how ready atom eve is to roast rex splode it's so funny

🌙 artemislover Follow

his name is mentioned and she's already throwing hands 😭

#flshy n lantern vibes fr #am I the only one who knows those two superheroes?? cause they're #hilarious

💥 explodeyourass Follow

What r the big cats called again. The ones w. Spots or SMTH?? YK like this

[Image description: Leopard.]

🧬 atomevesss☑️☑️ Follow

It's a LEOPARD you fucking moron

💃 thedancingquinn Follow

SEE THIS IS WHAT I MEAN

[silverjirachi]

i said it in the tags but i really need to say it out here. cecil palmer was so important to me. there are people on this website now young enough who don’t know who he is, who don’t know how important WTNV was to anyone gay and on this website in 2012, and that’s okay, but i want to put this in circulation because those of you who don’t know genuinely deserve to know.

the world we live in now is very, very different than the world we lived in even just ten years ago. It was not that long ago, I cannot emphasize this enough. Cecil Palmer was canonically gay in a well-known podcast in 2012. He openly and lovingly talked about his crush and eventual partner and it was never once treated as a joke. That was unheard of in 2012. Gay marriage was not even legalized in the United States until 2015 and it felt like we were on thin ice the entire time. We still are. But there just straight up werent any visibly gay characters in popular media who weren’t either side characters, died, or were treated as jokes. Cecil Palmer was voiced by a gay and HIV-positive man who also had a lot of say in the way he was portrayed. That is why he was so real, that is why he was so genuine.

And that meant. So much.

We still struggle to have that kind of representation today, and we saw it in 2012.

For those of you who don’t know who Cecil Palmer is, I’m not asking you to vote for him. But I am trying to tell you what he means to the people who were your age on this website in 2012, and why so many people are voting for him now. We were scared, and starved for that representation, and felt alone. To me, at least, and to many others, Cecil was hope.

In fact, Cecil was such a lovingly-made and genuine representation of gay love, specifically, that my mother, who to this day is still pretty homophobic and is deeply religious, would text me updates about cecil and carlos’ relationship. She was happy for them. My “keep it out of my face” mother was happy for cecil and carlos and was excited to hear their updates. THAT is what WTNV meant, and I still think of that moment sometimes when I need love, when I need hope, and when I am feeling alone.

And if you do want to see that kind of representation (that ran its full course!! and wasn’t cancelled or rushed prematurely!!!) then I highly recommend you do check out Welcome to Night Vale eventually. It was one of the first podcasts to ever get big, in fact arguably podcasts wouldn’t be what they are today without it, and it is such a funny and beautiful and unique little thing about daily life in the weirdest eldtrich horror town in the middle of fucking nowhere.

[spot-the-antisemitism]

Whoever distributed the pagers had to know for certain that mostly innocent people would die. Why doesn't this bother you enough to condemn it as a completely unacceptable "tactic?" Why do you instead turn the conversation strictly towards those who you think are being antisemitic about it? It reads like you truly think the innocent casualties are unavoidable/acceptable collateral damage in your "wAr iS hElL" outlook. It is terrorism. It is evil.

Dear anon

"terrorists are evil unlike me who is good" fuck off

by thinking certian people are evil and you are inherently good means you've been radicalized already.

war is hell, people dying is bad even if in a utilirarian way it could be seen as good

you know what else it is? morbidly funny in a way your 9/11 jokes or jokes about ashtrays in volkswagens will never be

"Why do you instead turn the conversation strictly towards those who you think are being antisemitic about it?" either Why are you crying antisemitism???? or why can't you derail your blog theme so I can go on anti terror rant???

WAR IS HELL

COPE AND SEETHE

Cecil

[freddie-77-ao3]

Gonna use the ask box for this 🙃 ask 1/? (I have so many questions, though you have answered so many already)

What are your thoughts on Trials of Apollo, and the characters?

go ahead and keep asking!!! i love your questions!!

ANYWAY

gonna start smaller with characters:

lavinia: the jewish thing wasn't handled completely correctly (just a couple of small things there) but overall 10/10 character. i think she's hilarious and her official artwork ROCKS.

meg: i love her. she seems a little immature for twelve years old TO ME but i also had a... rather abnormal upbringing so that might explain the differences. overall she was a great character and i LOVE the demeter rep (my thoughts on how riordan treated demeter take five pages to clarify so-- basically) love seeing it-- demeter was a kronide and her kids should be treated as such! great character development. peaches was also hilarious (as was crotch-kicker mccaffrey)

lester: calling him lester to separate between godly apollo and post toa apollo. again, fantastic character development. he's so fucking funny. like he does some really dumb stuff at the start of the series (swearing to not use a musical instrument and stuff?? LESTER MAN CMON) his and meg's relationship is so sweet-- and kayla and austin with him? chefs kiss. love apollo kids getting some time with their dad.

jason: absolutely got fridged. i've already touched on my suicide theory so i won't go into that here but basically i think we shoulda seen jason similar to percy (very minor, doing his own thing behind the scenes) but alas.

piper: the shel thing was a bit sudden. don't get me wrong, i'm ALL for queer rep (i think there should be more of it in the books actually) but-- going straight from breaking up with jason to jason sacrificing himself for her to a relationship seems really unhealthy. i think she should have a chance to grow outside of a relationship.

reyna: joining the hunt was a bad end for her. since when was that an ambition of hers? she seemed genuinely happy in new rome and called it her home multiple times in HoO and going from that to the hunt? idk seems like rick doesn't know how to write characters NOT be in a relationship (piper, reyna, leo... they all get squared away)

leo: oh leo baby he didn't get to see jason before he died??? so heartbreaking. didn't belong in a relationship with calypso. the punching thing was weird when he came back to camp-- esp with a character who has a history of physical abuse

frank: i love the frank deciding his own fate thing but also idk seems like a cop out.

hazel: shouldn't have just become praetor i mean cmon. i love her but she's what, 14 now? no way.

Nico: FINALLY ONE OF THE CHARACTERS CANONICALLY GETS THERAPY. the doctors note is--

will: solangelo flirting is hilarious 10/10. "do you want to be my buddy?" "significant annoyance" i can't breathe. also poor will for putting up with apollo in the hidden oracle because i could not help my dad learn how to use the toilet i'm sorry but that shit is crazy.

malcolm: why is malcolm going to battle without pants on so funny to me i just-- 10/10 i love him.

connor: such a dumbass. the hair grafts 😭. i feel bad that travis isn't there and then communication lines go down like oh buddy :(

cecil: see me RUNNING with the knowledge cecil can cook

other small stuff:

love the waystation, always been my personal hc that there's more than just that one but that's for another post.

percabeth finally making it to college!!!

speaking of which AT WHAT TIME DID TRAVIS AND CLARISSE FILL OUT COLLEGE APPS THEY WERE AT WAR???? WHAT DO THEIR OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPTS LOOK LIKE???

the jackson-blofis family warms my heart <3

thoughts on the series as a whole?

i love it. definitely top three riordan series (tied with pjo and mcga)

i like that (like mcga) toa was more mature? like we finally see demigods with ptsd, we get queer characters, just... everything

[just-a-carrot]

insane attorney AU where orlam is a smooth and suave defense attorney and genzou is a loud-mouthed but effective prosecutor and unlike ace attorney where they’re extremely gay for each other, these two just unironically hate each other (sssssssshhhhhhhhhhh, it’s because they had an insane situationship in college but nobody needs to know that 👀)

gidget is a very compassionate yet firm judge who just got here and who totally does not want to bang their head against the podium every time they’re assigned to preside over a case that these two are handling (cecil is their courtroom deputy who is totally NOT seeing orlam after the case that night haha NO SIREE that is not happening and they are 100% not seeing each other in any way guys- orlam STOP winking at him he’s trying to do his job)

iggy is a timid and easily-flustered stenographer who looks like he’s about to explode from a panic attack typing up the court report every case, but he gets every word down to a T each time without fail

hunar is the court interpreter (he’s multilingual in this AU bc I say so)(he’s also probably the most Stable One In That Court Room) and is married to the very passionate and intense chief of police of the city, bucks :3

istg their trials are always so fucking unserious yet they’re the best lawyers in the state SOMEBODY COME TAKE THEIR BADGES ‼️‼️‼️

THIS IS SO INTENSE AND COMPLEX??????

ok but this would be really funny and great tho fr. I'm imagining them all with ace attorney style sprites and animations and it's making me lose my mind a bit 🤣💦 the hijinks would be off the charts

I think it would be funny if Orlam's reactions and animations were all super super dramatic like every conversation or reveal is some kind of theatrical epic fjdjdhd