#Casey Review

[insidecroydon]

Sacked 'superstar' headteacher refuses to resign MOPAC post

Questions have been raised with senior figures at City Hall over whether the “superstar” headteacher of a secondary school in Coulsdon who was dismissed for gross misconduct can continue in an influential role with MOPAC – the Mayor of London’s office for policing and crime. Keeping the Met in check: Paul Mundy-Castle chairs an important MOPAC committee As Inside Croydon reported exclusively last…

[laf-outloud]

Here's a great review of tonight's episode, they loved Camden and his introduction, are on board with the spin-off (and also thinking Audrey James would be joining that show), have some good takes on Bode and where he should be heading, and are about as equally frustrated with Gabriela as many of us seem to be, lol! Check it out!

[pigeon--lord]

Leverage- Family Dynamics

Ugh, I'll most definitely write a bigger post about this, but don't you just love the character dynamic in Leverage and Leverage: Redemption? I'm rewatching the whole franchise and notice how over the course of the series the team just get so comfortable with Elliot, that they are absolutely not afraid of him. They know that he will never hurt them and that his gruff persona just hides a giant teddy bear inside.

Like The French Connection Job in season 5:

Elliot is like "I will stabb you in the neck" and Hardison just like "Yeah, yeah okay, but look at this cool laser and levitating food!" There is no way he would be like that in the first season LOL.

And in Leverage Redemption (I believe in The Date Night Job) when Breanna asked Eliot to cook for her and her significant other (he also made a meal for Hardison and you-know-who-because-no-major-spoilers for their date, thats just so cute) and gives him a lot of requirements, he casually throws the cooking knife into a pillar next to her. She doesn't even flinch and cassually walks off LMAO. I find it so sweet, because the team's trust in him is so absolute and they know that he will never hurt one of them and he will never endanger them, so Breanna is not even worried that the knife was flying anywhere but the pillar and that it would ever fly anywhere near her with an intent to hurt her.... And that is only just the trust that they have after working together for a bit, and her listening to Hardiso discussing his friendship with Elliot.

THEY LET ELLIOT COOK FOR THEM, BECAUSE THEY KNOW IT'S HIS PASSION AND THEY LOVE HIS COOKING!!!!!

I can't, this show always makes me fell warm and fuzzy inside. This is a team of lone wolves which becomes a found family over the course of the 5 seasons of Leverage and you are there for the ride all the way!

THEY ARE A FAMILY YOUR HONOUR!!!!!

(BTW if you havent watched these two shows, I highly recommend you to! It has everything you need for a good show- comedy, drama, action, suspense, found family, and superb characters with character developmen)

[mediamatinees]

Smackdown Pen vs Reel Chapter Nine: Red, White & Royal Blue Continues to Be the Perfect Political Romance We Didn't Know We Needed

Content Warning: Red, White & Royal Blue contains discussions of homophobia, family drama played out in public and in private, brief discussions of racism and xenophobia, and trauma related to abandonment and familial death. It’s also a romcom but the angst was angsting. Reader/viewer discretion is advised. Spoilers for Red, White & Royal Blue ahead! At long last! Due to 2023’s entertainment…

[bookshelvesandtealeaves]

✨ BOOK REVIEW ✨

The Pairing by

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[instagram]

God, this book. Casey McQuiston can do no wrong. My favourite author has given me a new favourite.

I loved everything about this. The romance, the setting, the growth, the joy, the food. Even the sex was beautifully written and I’m someone who usually skims those parts.

What I love about McQuiston’s writing is how earnest and raw it is. You really feel every bit of what their characters are feeling. It’s all-encompassing, intoxicating, and they knock it out of the park every single time.

Theo and Kit are both so vibrant and messy and emotional and god, I adored them both. So much it’s difficult to put into words. I have very little in common with them - I’m aroace and I don’t drink lmao - and yet I felt such a connection with them anyway.

I particularly loved Theo’s coming out to Kit. The conversation about gender was such a small piece of this whole book, but it felt so relatable to me and my experience with gender.

This book NEEDS to be a movie. It’s so cinematic to read and it would make such a fantastic film.

[thestudyinglesbian]

book review: red, white & royal blue

*any possible spoilers are below the cut, but there aren't really any - comments and/or reblogs will likely contain spoilers*

started: 16/8/24

finished: 20/8/24 (the review sat in my drafts for a bit oops)

rating: 9.7/10

thoughts: ASDLGJGZSKF THIS BOOK WAS SO GOOD!!¡!!!¡¡!!¡!!!! I ACTUALLY CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT I LOVE IT SM!!!! it's the first romance book I've read in a while and it did not disappoint

fav character: honestly I love then all sm my fav changes from chapter to chapter

fav ship(s): obvious but gotta go with Alex x Henry (firstprince?) i mean they're just so perfect

fav headcanon(s): still stuck between lesbian!June x leabian!Nora, poly June x Nora x Pez, and aro/aroace Nora

lesbianism level (if you missed it, a book reaches perfection once it has a lesbian in it): 7/10 - likely lesbian!Amy, possible lesbian!Bea and potential but unlikely lesbian!June and lesbian!Nora

nsfw scenes: there were quite a few smut scenes (some quite long). I skimmed/skipped over completely most of them bc I dont really enjoy reading smut (idc if you do it's just not for me), but you can easily skip over it w/o miss much (if any) plot

did i annotate: I have a couple annotation but mainly things like "GAY GAY GAYYYY" "ALEX HOW STUPID ARE YOU" "BRB GONNA GO SOB THEY'RE SO CUTE"

would i reread: yes 10000%

I would recommend to: the gays, the romantics and everybody ever bc IT'S SO GOOD

next book: when the coffee gets cold (a current read post will come once I'm familiar with it)

[ariainstars]

How to Portray Real Love - and How Not to

Warning: long post.

Call Me by Your Name (2017)

To anyone who loves this movie:

I will not apologize for what I am going to write. It’s my own take, yes, but in my opinion all of this ought to be obvious to anyone watching the movie.

I will not refer to André Aciman’s book, not having read it.

I am Italian and I grew up in places like we see in the movie. I’m not denying that the way it’s shot and the general atmosphere are often gorgeous, but that was not sufficient to convince me that this movie is romantic, probably because I’m used to it.

What This is Not: Grooming / Sexual Predation

Reading up reactions to this movie, I have stumbled often over criticism about the age gap between the two protagonists. In my opinion this is beside the point: we are speaking of 7 years, not of a generational gap, and Oliver is still a student. Elio is mature for his age, and after some initial reticence, he approaches Oliver by himself over and over. His family knows and encourages (or at least doesn't oppose) them, and Elio has more than one opportunity to say no, which he doesn’t take.

Oliver is not a predator. He’s confused, but that’s not because he doesn't feel the attraction between himself and Elio: he simply doesn’t understand it.

Elephant in the room no. 1: Oliver is a bad person.

Oliver comes across as irreverent and self-absorbed. He does not respect boundaries, does not knock on doors, does not fit in with the lifestyle and customs of his hosts, only occasionally he does things that will make people think well of him. Early in their acquaintance he expects Elio to tell him what he is going on in his head but doesn't do the same in return (he never does, even later); his entire behaviour seems to be aimed at irritating and challenging his surroundings.

There is no depth in Oliver, no creativity, contrarily to Elio who already composes at age 17; somehow Oliver seems to know that he is the inferior one. At times he is downright offensive to Elio, for no reason at all, like he wasn’t a guest in their house. Oliver moves around in a foreign place like everybody owes him; he does not wonder, question, ask for explanations. He plays with Elio’s youthful insecurity, who is still hardly shaving and feels in the shadow of Oliver’s allegedly superior manliness. It is not surprising that to Elio he soon appears as some kind of handsome, unreachable prince.

Oliver is the kind of person who manages, on purpose or not, to convince the people around him that he is someone special, irresistible, and that being his friend or lover is a privilege. Elio falls for it, and Oliver picks the fruit of that attraction. Oliver does not love Elio because he does not love anyone, being too busy with thinking of himself.

At first Elio doesn’t like him; he notices that although Oliver never shows regard for anyone, he gets away with it. Elio’s family and friends fall for his self-assuredness and expect him to befriend Oliver. Piqued by the fact that Elio is the only person who is wary around him (with good reason!), Oliver repeatedly behaves in a way that frustrates Elio, repeatedly invading his private space, ignoring his limits, alternating insults with niceties, giving him attention one minute and completely ignoring him the next. And he never seems scheming picking at Elio’s insecurities whenever he gets a pass: it’s like second nature to him. He doesn’t do it because he loves Elio and doesn’t want to admit it, because he’s scared or something like that; he does it because he can, and because it works. He wants Elio to look up to him the way everybody does. After a while, the insecure Elio gets obsessed with wanting the older man’s approval.

Oliver starts a relationship with Elio knowing that the younger man has a girlfriend; he doesn’t even ask about her, whether Elio broke up with her etc. Oliver seems to believe that Elio owes him his undivided attention. By keeping their relationship a secret, Oliver makes the hapless Elio his accomplice. Even if he wanted to or if he would slowly begin to suspect that something's not right, he couldn’t talk to anyone about it. No one would believe him anyway, since everybody thinks the world of Oliver.

Oliver humiliates Elio, who by then is his lover, when he finds out about the peach: he laughs at him, not with him. (Why was Elio masturbating anyway, while he was in a sexual relationship?) When they are in Bergamo Oliver starts partying with random strangers on the street (with a woman!) when Elio is about to be sick: an observant lover would have noticed it before it was too late. Although they live under the same roof, he never sleeps in the same bed with him but gets up earlier, even when they are sharing a hotel room. He never tells Elio what is making him refrain from intimacy.

Oliver destroys Elio’s creativity by commenting negatively both on his composition and his impassioned love letter; we never see the young man making music or writing again. Shouldn’t a person in requited love feel inspired and happy and want to sing and play all day long? That he gives up on his interests already foreshadows the deep depression Elio is destined to fall into.

Viewers who love this movie like to argue that Oliver is so distant because he’s afraid of hurting Elio or shy because he’s in the closet. But it’s plain to see that Oliver knows exactly what he’s doing. He just doesn’t understand why because he’s not the kind of person who second-guesses himself. He’s controlling a power play with a younger man, probably because he doesn’t know how to have a genuine relationship with anyone. And Elio is too defenceless against him. When his mother comes to pick him up at the railway station and his voice breaks on the phone, it is obvious what a child Elio still is interiorly. He didn’t grow up through this relationship. He didn’t know what he was getting into and then had to pay the full price for another man’s egotism.

As the movie comes to a close, we can see that what he and Elio shared did hit Oliver harder than he had expected, but not enough for him to change, or only to reflect about it. Oliver is not aware of what he’s doing to Elio; to him everything is fun and games while to Elio it’s a life-changing experience.

Elephant in the room no. 2: Elio is not in love, he’s hooked.

Elio begins to imitate Oliver like a younger brother would do with the older - he smokes, wears a Jewish symbol on a chain, he has sex with Marzia only to prove a point because he knows Oliver had sex with Chiara. After a while, he gets obsessed with wanting the older man’s approval, for him to see him as an equal instead of an annoying boy he can either ignore or boss around.

Being both intellectual and highly sensitive, Elio believes that the more experienced and seemingly more mature Oliver must know the answers to life’s most burning questions; which Oliver doesn’t, as much as Elio wishes he would.

There isn’t the slightest sign of genuine love coming from Oliver; he only takes. Elio, being a giving, honest person, falls into a trap. Oliver has caught Elio and also half a dozen other people in his net, but he never had the slightest intention to put his roots down and actually like anyone back. Oliver’s attitude towards Elio is avoidant, but that is not because he wants to prevent him or himself from getting hurt; it’s because he doesn’t want to get attached and have to face the consequences.

In the scene where we first see Oliver interact with the family, he says at breakfast that he shouldn’t eat an egg because otherwise he’ll eat two, three, and more until they will have to roll him away. This already shows what kind of person Oliver is: he doesn’t know when to stop. Elio mistakenly believes that this lack of restrain, this want of limits is a sign of superior maturity and self-assuredness. He won’t realize to the last that in truth this attitude shows nothing short of a total lack of responsibility.

Elio says so to his father once: he does not play poker. Oliver is a poker player through and through. Despite the poetic request to “call him by his name”, Oliver remains shrouded in mystery. He does not change; while Elio wakes up, both sexually and emotionally.

There also is the symbolism: the dying fish gasping its least breath with eyes wide open (symbolizing Elio), the bronze statue, beautiful but cold and lifeless (symbolizing Oliver). The connection is made by the fact that both tokens come from the water.

All Oliver wanted and expected was to spend a good time in Italy with no strings attached. Which also is why we hardly see him working and studying, the way he’s supposed to. After all he did to Elio, his final revelation that he has a girlfriend and is about to marry her is only the coup de grâce.

Elephant in the room no. 3: Elio’s father is a fool.

I couldn’t bring myself to admire Elio’s father for what he said to his son, presumably wanting to comfort him: that “it had been a particularly beautiful thing between them”, and “he wished he would have made such an experience.”

How does he know what happened in detail? Does he know what is in these two young men’s hearts? Does he know about the humiliations Oliver inflicted on Elio? Probably not, but in any case, Oliver has given him no reason to believe that he’s a good person the way he claims.

We did not see father and son interact at all before this scene. All we learn is that both Elio’s parents expect their son to be nice to their guest and to befriend him, and that they don’t mind if there is more than friendship. We never learn whether Elio’s father loves him and cares for him (at least his mother shows affection from time to time). Imagine needing to have your entire world and happiness destroyed just so your father will finally give you some attention and kindness.

Elio’s father never changes his mind, even when he learns that Oliver is getting married. A caring, responsible father would have opened his son’s eyes about the fact that he was used and then discarded. I have no clue as to why any queer person would want their parent to do anything like that to them, leaving their heart open to bleed.

Add to this that he does not ask whether they used protection. The movie is set in 1983, and the first AIDS wave struck in 1981. Papa Perlman doesn’t seem to mind that his son might have caught a horrible, incurable disease, all that matters is that his son had sex with another male. Yay. (Maybe he believes in the adage that true love exists only between members of the same sex, who knows.)

I guess this little speech is meant to be politically correct. Woe if you dare to see the dysfunction in a relationship when it’s same-sex.

Elephant in the room no. 4: Elio did not need Oliver.

When we meet him, Elio is well-educated, living in a beautiful place where he also grew up, he has a supportive family, enough free time (they even have servants), he’s healthy and serene and he has a girlfriend. He’s intelligent, well-learned and creative.

When we last see him, he’s devastated, staring into the fire and crying for minutes on end.

Oliver is not “only” a sexual predator. He’s a textbook manipulator, the sexual part isn’t even what it’s about. Manipulators may want money, sex, attention from their victims or a combination of these, but what they always want is power. They rejoice in the knowledge that their prey is ready to do whatever they want at their command, that they can’t live without them, at least not happily. Oliver would have taken anything Elio gave him and crushed it, not just his sexuality. Just imagine the pain Elio must feel now every time someone says his own name, or when he goes to his “special place” by the creek! He can’t compose, play the guitar or write any more, because everything reminds him of Oliver. And all of the time, Oliver had the chance to either avoid a relationship with him or to let go once he had left him; but you need some basic common decency for that.

Oliver realized quickly that Elio, though younger, is much better than he is, healthier, smarter, more accomplished, more innocent, honest and kind-hearted. Oliver took all that, used it or destroyed it and left Elio in the shards of his former self, no longer in a position to enjoy the things and the people he used to love, tortured additionally by the knowledge that Oliver is about to marry someone else, i.e. that Elio apparently wasn’t good enough for him. Elio ends like a modern Pygmalion, crying about the fact that all of his love could not bring the object of his adoration to life; hence also the parallel between Oliver and the statue.

Elephant in the room no. 5: Elio is not gay, he’s bisexual. (Maybe.)

Elio has a girlfriend when we first meet him; it is also hinted at that before Marzia, he was with Chiara. No sign of a boyfriend anywhere. No sign even of some brotherly male friend to whom he might feel unconsciously attracted.

Elio enjoyed his first sexual experience with Marzia, we hear him cry out “That feels so good!” He then starts an affair with Oliver, but nothing suggests that he likes it any better. Yes, he keeps sleeping with him, not with her; but she didn’t manipulate him for weeks into believing that without her he would be missing out, the way Oliver did.

If Oliver was a woman of 24 years who would seduce Elio, dragging him away from his girlfriend, and then dumping him to marry another guy, everybody would call her a heartless bitch. In this case, Elio’s supposed sexual awakening supersedes everything else. Which is probably the main reason why so many viewers insist that there was nothing wrong and unhealthy between them. The relationship between Elio and Oliver can’t have been sick and dysfunctional, because Elio apparently “needed to realize that he's gay (or bi).” Never mind that he was traumatized for life.

In the end, Elio is alone; Oliver has left him for good, and he can’t go back to Marzia. Had Oliver not interfered Elio might have missed out a nuance on his sexuality, but he wouldn't have had his heart broken, and he would have a girlfriend who is a sweet and kind girl, never manipulates him and even offers him friendship and comfort after he dumped her for no reason (after having taken her virginity no less).

Part 6: Elio Always Had a Choice.

Elio wasn’t forced to do anything. He sought Oliver out repeatedly and never actively said “no” to him, except for his heart-wrenching protest during the infamous peach scene. Maybe he wants Oliver to single him out being a victim of his own vanity; however, his personality is not explored enough for the viewer to come to a fair conclusion. We mostly see him react to Oliver, not act on his own.

Since the focus of the movie is on the Elio / Oliver relationship, the landscape the story takes place in is idyllic, the music is beautiful etc., as a viewer one can easily assume that Elio chose Oliver of out “love”. Did he?

Obsession is not love. When feelings for another person are so strong that there seems to be no escape, it doesn’t mean they are soulmates, that it’s fate or anything like that. Healthy love is a choice; love only exists in freedom. When one partner (or both) is in mental chains, his mind revolving around the other, something is very wrong.

I already wrote that while his character is manipulative, Oliver is not an actual predator. If the victim has the chance to escape and does not take it, there is a large part of responsibility on the latter’s part, too. It is not enough to say that Elio is “only a teenager”. At seventeen, a person knows what they are doing and what they want. They may not be aware of the implications and the consequences, but Oliver and Elio’s parents didn’t know either, so it’s useless to say that age makes the difference.

Part 7: Culture Clash.

Italy and Elio’s family welcome Oliver with open arms; they let him live in their house, let him do whatever he wants, invite him to come back next year, encourage his feelings for Elio. Oliver never opens up. He does not speak about his thoughts; he never mentions that he has a girlfriend at home. Only in the end we learn that his family seems to be very bigoted. Which is of course awful, but as a viewer I couldn’t feel sorry for him. This is something that in all fairness he should have told Elio from the start, before playing fast and loose with a young man who was obviously smitten with him.

Oliver is a consumerist, diametrically opposed to the deep soul of Elio, a young man who grew up surrounded by nature, in a house and near cities that feel timeless. Oliver tells Elio once that his family had welcomed him like he was a son-in-law, but this only shows that Oliver has no clue about Italian mentality; else he would know that it is second nature to most Italians to be welcoming and to make acquaintances part of the family quickly. That he believes they did so specifically with him only reflects his arrogance.

On a side note: in Italy the paragraph against homosexuality fell in 1890, and this movie is set almost a century later. And Oliver was introduced to an elderly gay couple who are friends of the family, emphasizing that Elio’s family doesn’t have the slightest issue with same-sex relationships. So, we are not speaking of star-crossed lovers. Had he wanted to, Oliver could have moved to Italy leaving his bigoted background behind, finding both a better family and a partner who would do anything in his power to make him happy. But that would also have meant having to give up on something, and Oliver is not the kind of person who would accept any kind of sacrifice, not even for his own sake. He will rather see to it that the price for his choices is paid by someone else.

Part 8: Attitude Towards Females.

The way both Oliver and Elio treat the women in their lives is downright awful. Oliver flirts with Chiara and in return, Elio soon brags how he “almost had sex with Marzia”. It is clear enough that they only do it when the other is watching; they do not care about the girls, both only want to show off their sex lives.

Sex has no real value for Oliver; he tells Elio that he should better “try and fail with Marzia than not try at all”. He does not consider that having your first time and be in an actual relationship is serious stuff. It ought to be something two people do together, not a challenge of sorts.

Although with Marzia it’s the first time for both of them, Elio obviously does not care for her - he did not even recognize her voice on the phone and did not react when she told him she didn’t want to suffer because of him. His next thought is that he wants Oliver, not her. He even has sex with Marzia all the while watching the clock for the appointment at midnight Oliver gave him. (What for, anyway? Distraction? As a training object?) His obsession with Oliver makes him selfish and false. And Oliver has tied his invitation to another insult, “Grow up.” Elio is seventeen and he has sex with both a female and a male within the course of 24 hours. Why - out of pique, to prove Oliver that he is indeed grown-up and that he is not ‘too scared to do it’?

Oliver does not offer Elio or his family friendship; he does not even call or write a postcard from his home to let them know that he came back home safely. Ironically, it is Marzia who offers her friendship and comforts the heartbroken Elio, although she would have every reason to resent him. She is more mature and responsible than both Elio and Oliver although she is Elio’s age. Which makes his behaviour towards her only feel more unfair; but I guess viewers must expect her to accept that because what she and Elio shared was not the alleged “true love” he had with Oliver.

A few months after Oliver went back home, we learn that he is about to hurt the next person - a woman with whom he will start a loveless marriage. (We learn that he was in an on-off relationship with her for years, which fits the picture perfectly; Oliver would not want to miss out on anything.)

Elio’s father gives a monologue that reflects his marriage in an awful way: apparently it does not make him happy because it makes him feel like he missed out on the experience of “real love” (whatever he believes that is). His wife is a good person and a good mother and does not deserve to be dismissed like that.

Conclusion: This Is Not a Love Story.

There may be different ways of interpreting it, but this movie is not about love, i.e. honest, deep feelings and commitment for one another. It isn’t romantic or poetic or tragic. It’s about a lot of pain that could have been avoided.

Oliver is not a groomer who takes advantage of a younger and less experienced guy. If Elio was a few years older, Oliver would still be a bad person. Consider that no one seems to realize what an egotist he is, including the many adults he meets! Piqued by Elio’s resistance, Oliver would certainly still try to make a pass at Elio, except that if the latter was older, he would be more mature, and possibly also have, by now, a secure attachment with Marzia (or someone else). I do think that a relationship between a 17-year-old and a 24-year-old could work well, provided both are honest and loyal persons. What makes this story problematic is not grooming or sexual predation on Oliver’s part. It is the relationship itself between these two that is utterly dysfunctional; which is, I daresay, what actually makes so many viewers feel uneasy about it the way I did.

Real love looks different; it does not only leave pain and “what if”s behind. Oliver sweeps into a foreign family and culture like a storm, takes what he can, and after him the deluge. While Elio is changed for life, Oliver just runs off to the next best thing, still not ready to change, take responsibility, or at least apologize for having used a younger man for an affair before agreeing to a socially acceptable marriage with a woman.

The musical theme of the movie is “Mystery of Love”. Why? Fantasizing about someone you never really get to know because they never open up to you is not love. How can there be love without honesty, loyalty and trust? Elio never grows beyond the first phase of a romantic relationship where you still idealize the other, instead of seeing them for how they truly are. And Oliver doesn’t even reach that phase.

We are supposed to feel for Oliver and Elio them because they are “star crossed”; I can’t bring myself to do that. Oliver is too immature to be honest with Elio and to keep him at arm’s length to prevent him from hurt; while Elio is not grown and strong enough to stand up first for his own self-love, and then for his feelings for Oliver. He does not even confront him when he tells him he is about to get married (which also implies that he will not come back). Not for one moment seems Elio to realize that he was betrayed, used and dumped. Instead, he keeps believing that he missed out on something that could have been wonderful.

If you are in a problematic relationship, there are only two options: either you renounce because you don’t want to make the other unhappy, or you fight for your love. Nurturing false hopes, allowing love to make its way into the heart of a naïve, well-meaning young person and then let him fall like a hot potato is the last thing anyone ought to do. Oliver doesn’t trust anyone, while Elio’s trust in him, after his initial hesitation, is infinite.

When Oliver tells Elio on the phone that he forgot nothing, it only makes Elio suffer more. A mature, caring person could have told his former lover to get over him, and that he was grateful for the time passed together. There is not gratitude in Oliver’s words; he ties Elio to him again, knowing that the younger man would be his at the lift of a finger. During the phone call, he does not even have the politeness to ask how everybody is doing. As usual, it is all about him. Oliver may be the victim of his family’s bigotry, but I cannot bring myself to feel with someone who is so utterly selfish and irresponsible. At least now that it's clear that he’s not coming back, he should have the decency to let go.

It is certainly true - as Elio’s father said - that it’s better to accept one’s pain than to turn away from it. But: the easiest way to unhappiness is holding on to something (or someone) you can’t have, respectively that never existed in the first place. Elio never gets over his feelings and they make him suffer still decades later, proving that the brief happiness was not worth the pain. What Elio feels at the end is not the normal heartache everybody goes through after a break-up: he’s traumatized because his budding personality was crushed and he has nothing to hold on to or to look forward anymore.

I wonder why this movie is called a love story. There is mutual attraction, fascination, erotic tension, but all of this doesn’t add to love. I see no reason why anyone should love someone like Oliver, and I can’t understand why Oliver does not love Elio back, who shared everything he was with him.

This movie may be interesting, but in my opinion it’s not romantic at all and I see no reason to sigh and wax poetic about it like 95 % of the audience seems to. If anything, it’s a warning to not confuse obsession and idealization with actual caring.

I wonder why the LGBT+ community does not hate this movie.

I have often heard in conservative circles that gay men are supposedly straight until they meet someone who is older and experienced who seduces them and “makes them gay”. I always found this to be a narrow-minded prejudice, and thought that any queer person must find such an idea insulting to say the least. But this is exactly what is being portrayed here. And almost no viewer, queer or straight, seems to have the slightest problem with it. On the contrary, almost everybody gushes on how romantic this story is.

~ * ~ * ~ *

Red, White and Royal Blue (2023)

Of course, this is a modern fairy tale and it’s set in an alternative universe. Let me just point out the differences to the above-mentioned movie, and why this is a much more genuine portrayal of romantic love.

Since the story is about the son of a female US president who is running for her second term and the offspring of a conservative British peerage family, the conflict goes without saying; there is no wondering about what is making their relationship difficult.

Alex, once in a same-sex relationship, embraces his bisexuality wholeheartedly. He does not fall into a crisis and does not mess around with some girl. He knows that Henry is who he wants. It is abundantly clear that Henry is special for him because with him he’s head over heels in love, not because he’s the first guy he makes sexual experiences with.

In this movie there is also a cultural clash between a Texan American and a British peer, but there is nothing offensive about it; usually it’s just played for fun, like when Alex doesn’t know what a maypole is and Henry teases him about it.

How much wiser and more to the point is Ellen’s reaction: she simply tells her son that “such a relationship will define his life”. Yes, it’s kind of embarrassing that she asks him whether they used protection, but at least it shows that she cares for his safety.

Side note: all women in this movie are treated with respect, not looked down upon, used and discarded.

Alex does not make Henry feel bad about his accomplishments. He admires him playing polo, he loves listening to him when he plays the piano, although Alex can do neither.

When Henry comes to visit Alex in Texas, he adapts by wearing casual clothing, drinking, singing, playing, swimming. He’s just himself and there is nothing of his usual detachment about him, on the contrary, he obviously feels happy with the chance to just be a young man like any other. Compare this to Oliver’s attitude of haughty superiority in his host’s place, behaving like he was a prince everyone must look up to (which he isn’t, contrarily to Henry).

These men are both adults who know what they are doing; none shows off as being superior and they never come across as selfish and mean. Initially Henry is detached and stiff-necked, while Alex pettily takes offense at something that happened years earlier; but all of that quickly changes through the dynamics between them. The two young men open up, become more relaxed and much more themselves through being together. Since they started as rivals, they know each other’s faults and never for a moment fall into the trap of idealization. Their connection is much more genuine and intimate than Oliver’s and Elio’s although technically, they spend less time together.

Their relationship is also much more fun; Alex and Henry banter, tease one another and laugh a lot. Being in a long-distance relationship they write each other e-mails and texts, and they have conversations over the phone still when they’re barely friends. They talk about personal issues, they keep eye contact, their hands touch, they hug outside of sexual contact, they sleep in the same bed whenever they can. The power dynamics between them are healthy, and it is made abundantly clear that the basis for their relationship is honest, trusting friendship.

Shortly after having started an actual relationship with Henry, Alex plunges into his Texas campaign; he wants to use his influence as the president’s son to do good for other people. Henry’s philanthropic work and his overall influence inspire Alex to do more for his fellowmen, too.

When Henry panics and runs in the face of a declaration of love, Alex confronts him right away. Alex is willing to fight for his love. He „flies across an ocean and storms a f…ing palace“, in his words, to tell Henry he won’t give up on him.

As they say goodbye at the airport both gift one another what means most to them - ring and key. Alex until then never took his key chain off, not even when he was swimming or having sex. Alex’s last virtue is patience, yet he is willing to wait.

In the end the shy, introverted Henry says, “I will no longer be the prince of shame and secrets” finally confronting his worst fear, that his subjects may no longer like him.

Which is where we reach the bottom line.

„Real love“ is not defined by how deep, desperate and or romantic your feelings are.

Real love brings out what is best in a person, makes them better, stronger and more mature.

Red, White and Royal Blue is an actual, real and inspiring love story. Call Me by Your Name is a slap in the face.

[she-karev]

📚July Book Review📚

4/5 Stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

“But the truth is, also, simply this: love is indomitable.”

For the month of Independence Day I thought a romance with themes of our country might be a good book to read. And boy was it ever. This is the perfect comfort read for the entire queer community. It's got humor, it's got romance and it's got a little angst in it to keep you at the edge of your seat. We all love a rivals to lovers trope and seeing it between the First Son of The United States and the Prince of England is Chef's kiss. The main characters are enchanting in their own unique way and their chemistry ignites in the pages. The supporting characters are interesting as well as they provide humor that made me laugh. The world the book is set in has a more optimistic and liberal atmosphere than the real world but there's behind the scene politics that are accurate to what we hear on the news. All in all this book begs the ancient question, 'Can love conquer all?'

[fujosh1dreamer]

Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur season 2!!!

Alright so episode 12 of mgadd was the school dance episode and I have some thoughts.

This applies mostly to this specific episode but some of it applies to the whole season so far. I understand and appreciate the overall message being conveyed by the episode. About how you should start dating when you're comfortable and how there's no rush.

However the message gets undermined by the simple fact the Marvin exists to be Lunellas love interest.

I don't dislike Marvin but him being exactly like Lunella is annoying. I don't like it and this happens a lot, when shows introduce a love interest who is exactly like the main character.

Once again nothing against Marvin but it's just annoying. Especially since it is the second season. If you want a character to have a love interest introduce them in season 1.

I get it they're both socially awkward and Don't understand social ques but still they're the same person only difference being one is a boy and the other is a girl. Marvin being an alien with daddy issues was interesting until it gets resolved immediately. Other wise these two have no conflict and no obstacles to overcome they're boring.

Now onto my personal gripe about the episode in question.

They did my boy eduardo dirty.

Why???

Eduardo has been a reoccurring background character since the very first episode. Now I've never shipped him with Lu but it was established early on that he had a crush on her.

If ed was a bully type character then I wouldn't care about him. But that's not his archetype he's a misunderstood class clown.

This is episode 12 of season 2 and this is our first time even hearing him speak. Reminder Marvin was introduced in like episode 4 or something. In the episode Lunellas friends tell her she should go with them as a group to the dance, but when they all end up with dates Lu feels left out and also tries to find a date. And she asks out Eduardo who tells her he's already been asked.

It has a very cute sequence where he images them as sailormoon and tuxedo mask.

In the end Lunella goes alone which is fine. Her outfit is very cute. Then Marvin shows up and we get jealous Eduardo. I also want to say that Mar didn't show up to be her date to the dance he needed help. Anyway Ed is jealous and upset everytime we see him on screen.

Which I really hope isn't what his character is going to be boiled down to especially after they developed him so well in season 1. I don't want him and Lu to end up together I just want this character to have the respect that it had in season 1 instead of making him miserable.

Just look at who he's at the dance with that terrible blonde girl who insulted Lunellas hair in season 1.

I just can't get behind Lunella and Marvin because it feels forced and rushed. It's annoying that they just made a carbon copy of Lu for a love interest. That's kind of lazy.

Otherwise the season has been fun so far.

[margielalalove]

“Love took root in me before I learned its name, and I've sat in its shade for so long now without eating its fruit. This feels as if I've finally taken a piece into my hands and split it open. It's so sweet inside. Sour too, slightly underripe — but so, so sweet.”

Casey McQuiston, The Pairing

[bigswitchenergyy]

RWRB movie thoughts (SPOILER HEAVY!)

So, I watched it. Twice. And I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.

First off, non-spoilers - I loved this movie. I loved the energy, I loved the humor, I loved the chemistry between all of the actors. Taylor and Nick in particular had phenomenal chemistry and I can't stop thinking about them and firstprince and how beautiful it all was. I miss the boys already. 😭 SPOILERS!!

I'm gonna get the (incredibly minor) gripes out of the way.

We got cornbread!! But we didn't get "cornbread knows my sins" which I was a little bummed about. But the beauty of the scene as a whole absolutely made up for it.

The lack of the emotional kiss after the fight really bugged me, because to me, that kiss is the breaking point for them both. That's the "gonna love this stubborn shithead forever" moment, and it's all of the tension and pain and heartbreak poured out into a desperate, hungry, incredibly passionate kiss. going right from "tell me to leave" to the V&A felt a little like mood whiplash, but the V&A scene is so good I can get past it pretty easily

I wish we could have had more of their emails, the phone call where Henry begins to open up about his family, and more pet names. Especially more baby, considering how much that one word affects Henry in the book.

I know why Matthew did it but fuck Miguel, I miss Rafael and Liam

WE NEEDED MORE PEZ, NORA, AND BEA

Now, for my favorite quotes/moments!!

"I'd break the sound barrier for you." when i tell you i fucking screamed into a pillow and sobbed

HISTORY HUH BEING SAID AT THE V&A, I LOVED IT SO MUCH, I SQUEALED AUDIBLY

THE CAKE SCENE, 10/10

Zahra and Amy are the absolute fucking best and were truly able to shine in a way I didn't expect, I'm so glad we got so many great scenes

"I will brexit your head from your body" I know it was in the trailer but it's SO FUCKING FUNNY

The texting scenes were done so well?? I loved hearing their voices saying the lines and I loved the way they portrayed the long distance conversations. The turkey scene in particular is fucking cinema

THE MOTHERFUCKING RED ROOM SCENE. NEED I SAY MORE.

THE SCENE RIGHT AFTER?? AND THEN THE ONE IN ALEX'S ROOM?? I'M FUCKING WEAK, MAN. THEIR CHEMISTRY IS OFF THE CHARTS

The closet scene was SO good. Watching Alex's entire perception of the man change in a matter of minutes is so well done, and Henry realizing that Alex's feelings about it all were completely valid & apologizing is so 10/10

jesus fuck, PARIS. OH MY GOD. The cafe scene, the one where they're taking a walk, and then their first time having sex. It's so beautiful and emotional and i just... I was breathless watching it. It's steamy but it's just beautiful and loving and the way alex and henry are just so enamored with each other absolutely destroyed me.

"You don't know what that's like." "I'm learning." SOBBING

the entire new year's eve sequence was wonderful. Henry's so happy when he's with Alex and Alex is just so happy he's there, and then that fucking SHOT?? The way they're just staring at each other across the crowded room?? C I N E M A

The first kiss was STRAIGHT OUT OF THE BOOK and it was MAGICAL

Nora is a queen and deserved more screentime but I LOVE her scenes with Alex. I think having her not be his ex in this version is a nice change too

And, of course, the motherfucking STORMING OF KENSINGTON. The boys acted their asses off and Nick in particular broke my heart so many times over

The leak. The leaaaaak. fuck.

"Hello?" "Baby." "Alex??" when i tell you i cried so hard

the piano scene 10/10

THE SCENE WHERE THEY COME OUT TO THE CROWD. THE ENTIRE END TBH

CASEYYY!!!!!!

So, yeah. I loved this movie. I'm gonna be thinking about it for a long time, and I sincerely hope Matthew releases the extended cut & all of the deleted scenes and bloopers, because we NEED THEM.

I also hope that Matthew, Casey, Nick, and Taylor know how much we love this film and book. How thankful we are that these beautiful characters were not only written, but then able to come to life. I will forever be thankful for Alex Claremont-Diaz and Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor (yes, i'm using his book last name LMAO) and for their beautiful love.

[insidecroydon]

Community groups demand dismissal of convicted Met officer

After the Borough Commander says he will continue to use convicted constable Perry Lathwood on the streets of Croydon, more than a dozen local groups have written to the Met Commissioner and policing minister Chris Philp highlighting the officer’s questionable and often violent conduct Guilty: PC Perry Lathwood at Westminster Magistrates Court for sentencing today The Met Police officer found…

[colorisbyshe]

every time i mention red white and royal blue or rwrb is mentioned i remember how a friend and i accidentally got casey mcquiston to delete 99% of their tweets because we figured out that they wrote larry rpf and my friend directly asked them in their insta dms if it was one specific fic and they panicked

so we just through their twitter and would like random tweets about one direction (andthey tweeted much more about zarry, to be fair) and hten SECONDS later the tweet would be gone before every tweet was nuked

i'm sure some have survived but like... we did that

completely by accident but #ourimpact

[filmmakerdreamst]

“Life with Derek” is Back Again!

Life with Luca is a hour and a half spin-off movie based on the 2000’s Canadian Sitcom Life with Derek, set eighteen years after its predecessor. The story follows two step-siblings, Casey McDonald (Ashley Leggat), now a court lawyer and mother of three. And Derek Venturi (Michael Seater), now a successful musician in Paris and a single dad. As history repeats itself, they both have rebellious fourteen year old teenagers, pushing their buttons. So in order to get a break, they both have the idea of dropping them off with their grandparents for their anniversary, and to their surprise, they end up meeting each other instead. With help, they figure out how to co-parent their kids together for a weekend, and hijinks naturally ensue.

The original show Life with Derek was all about a blended family. In which two teenage step-siblings, Casey and Derek (the eldest children in the household and equally self absorbed), clash; fighting each other to take control of the house, their younger siblings, their school and their world.

The episodes consisted of simple, domestic family antics, containing smart jokes that would make adults and children alike laugh. The storylines were mature enough for teenagers to be interested but not so mature that it would put children off from watching.

Life with Derek was a show that prided itself in being character driven and more realistic than some of the family shows that was airing around that time, especially on networks such as Disney Channel.

However, it became well known and successful to this day for the slow burning subtextual “love affair” between the two step-siblings, Casey and Derek which undoubtedly acted as the backbone of the series. And the reason why it got picked up for a reboot fifteen years after the final episode aired.

When I first read the premise of Life with Luca (when the announcement came out that they were going to make a Life with Derek reboot in 2020), I was immediately judgemental as often reboots can erase character growth. It just seemed like another manufactured money making remake (a copy for the next generation) rather than an actual continuation of the original show.

And while the movie does have alot of tropes repeated from the original i.e. Casey and Derek’s kids Skyler and Luca clash from the beginning, two families not really knowing each other previously merging for the first time etc. The writers had the ability to make these tropes most importantly character driven and natural so the audience didn’t notice the similarities so much. And when they did, it’s treated as a familiar nod rather than a direct copy.

Luca and Skyler

Part of the fun of the original was the ongoing romantic tension between Casey and Derek, and I was worried we were going to have a repeat of that with their kids, Luca and Skyler but thankfully the casting and writing department was alot more thorough. And while they do clash at the beginning, its presented more of a culture clash because of how they were raised, and it evolved into a familial relationship quite quickly. I loved watching their bonding moments.

They managed to keep the core message from the original ‘of family and building a family even when you hate your situation at the beginning’. I felt they did a good job of mirroring that message with Luca and Skyler.

Out of the two, I felt like Skyler was the more fleshed out. The casting for her was amazing, she looks just like Derek’s daughter. I loved how, even though she was clearly meant to be the ‘Casey character’ — organised and dramatic — she still had her own vibe. She had the carefree attitude and style from Derek’s parenting, but still was able to be responsible as she essentially raised herself.

Luca, (the ‘Derek’ character) the more rebellious counterpart, is suggested to be acting out due to his chaotic home life, rather than that’s just “how he is” unlike Derek who was labelled as the bad guy from the start. He’s still very much Casey’s son as he doesn’t have some of the toxic masculinity that Derek possessed in the original show. And he has a few neurotic tendencies from her style of parenting as well. But I almost feel we didn’t get enough of him.

If and when Life with Luca does get picked up as a TV Series later on, it would be nice to flesh out his character alot more (and hers), because there was clearly alot of conflict that the two of them both had, his dad working overseas and her mum having a bran new family, that can’t really be fleshed out thoroughly in a hour and a half film.

George and Nora

George and Nora’s plot was by far the most ridiculous (hint, jewel thief car chase), but I loved seeing them on screen again. It was nice to see how their relationship was still going strong after all this time. Along with their cameo, there were some other great ones such as Sam and Mr Lassiter. It was a shame we didn’t get to see the rest of the blended family such as Edwin and Lizzie and Marti, even for a second at the anniversary party at the end. But I understand the screenwriters wanted to save that for a TV Series later on, so they could be fully explored more.

Simon

Simon, the youngest of the McDonald-Venturi’s (that was a storyline for the last two episodes of the original) was by far my favourite addition to the film. This was surprising, since that storyline in Life with Derek wasn’t exactly my favourite around the time of watching because I don’t necessarily agree that the step-family gaining a shared child made them “a proper family”. Thankfully, Life with Luca proved me wrong as he was so lovable. I loved how he was a perfect mix of both of the McDonalds and the Venturi’s, but mostly the Venturi’s as he was so clumsy.

Casey and Derek

As always, the strongest parts of the movie, were when they were focusing on Casey and Derek, individually and together. I loved how they went with careers that naturally meshed with their personalities. Casey being a married lawyer in Toronto and Derek being a travelling musician in Paris with his daughter as a best friend. Watching Derek be a parent was amazing, especially since he was shown to be really good with kids in the original.

When the two finally meet up again, the audience can see that their friendship has definitely progressed; they have finally learnt to respect one another even though they haven’t spoken one on one for a long time. But they still maintained their comedic banter. It was refreshing to see that character growth. It was nice that it hadn’t backtracked in typical reboot fashion for the sake of drama/entertainment since that relationship was the core of why the original worked.

Now in the original show, Life with Derek, it was never confirmed that Casey and Derek had romantic feelings for each other, but there was alot of speculation by the fans, because of all the subtext going on throughout the series.

The actors, Michael Seater and Ashley Leggat, put a rest to some of the speculation in 2016 and confirmed in a article by MTV that because ‘the fans were so into Casey and Derek being a couple, [they] would find subtext in their lines to give the fans what they desire’

Life with Derek was primarily about the first four years that they [Casey and Derek] lived together. Their relationship mostly consisted of an antagonistic push and pull/tug of war even though at the end of the day, they were always there for each other when it really counted. Even though Casey and Derek claimed to dislike each other, it was very clear that the two had developed a deep bond over the course of the series.

However, Casey and Derek’s relationship in Life with Luca is interesting in a way that they’re no longer in a “sibling dynamic” in which they were previously forced into. Mostly because they’re no longer teenagers and the fact that they’ve barely interacted or lived together in eighteen years since life both took them in very different directions. Which creates a paradox in itself.

It’s this incredibly grey area throughout the movie where they’re adjusting to each other again, slipping into their old bickering, confiding in each other about parenthood, all while transitioning into a mum and dad dynamic while they’re co-parenting the children they had with other people.

Before the movie came out, I was positive, because of the criticisms and hype surrounding the show and the pairing, that the writers were going to diminish the potential of a romance between the characters in fear of backlash. For example, have Casey in a happy marriage, Derek dating around and eventually gain a love interest at the end of the film. Also, trying to make their relationship as “Sibling- Esque” as possible.

Even though I knew from the premise of the reboot, that they were going to move in together, and there would be a few romantic undertones scattered in for the fans, I’d thought they’d play it off more as an “aunt and uncle babysitting the kids”.

But the opposite ended up happening. Casey has an absent husband who continuously leaves her and her kids alone while he plays hockey over seas — breaking his promises that he was going to retire before their kids were teenagers. Derek supposedly hasn’t dated anyone in fourteen years nor mentions flirting with other women. He even has a distant relationship with his daughters mum.

The moment Derek comes, he almost takes ‘the role of her husband’ as he sees Casey isn’t doing so well. He does the cooking for their kids — Casey even mentions that her husband does all the cooking while Derek is preparing dinner — babysits her little ones, attempts to calm Casey down when she’s getting too stressed, helps arrange an anniversary party for their parents so she’s able to get on with her work. And even though, they are referred as “Aunt” and “Uncle” in the movie, it’s also made apparent that they’re essentially “Mum and Dad” to their children as well.

One of Casey’s little ones, Molly even makes a “catch it or you’ll miss it” comment to Derek’s kid in one scene “I wish we were cousins AND sisters.”

Their last scene together at the end of the movie, Casey comes up to Derek saying ‘You’re gonna come home again soon, before the kids go to university?’ in which Derek heavily implies that he wants to move into her guest house to potentially raise their kids together, making a direct parallel to her husband not retiring from hockey and coming home from Europe, even after their kids grew up.

That moment is possibly why I came out from watching the movie thinking ‘If Casey and Derek don’t get together after this; then it’s bad writing’ because their scenes in the reboot didn’t feel like random “fanservice moments” like in the original; it felt like a genuine setup for a romance. Even if it can’t be written explicitly, due to the network, it is the most logical ending for their characters and the movie just made that ending seem even more inevitable.

Despite my enjoyment of Life with Luca, and overall it being a Great Comeback of a 2000’s Classic — it’s not a movie that can really work on its own. Finishing it left me feeling unsatisfied and wanting more. It felt very much like an introduction than a complete product. Its very apparent they made this movie so it could be picked up as a TV series later on, since there is alot of plot threads that are unexplored, unfinished or left open.

Life with Luca is not a reunion movie. It’s only page one.

“Life with Derek” is Back Again! by Ellie Hersey

[melaniem54]

Review:  The Pairing by Casey McQuiston

Rating: 5🌈 The Pairing is one of my top two books of the year.  A absolute masterpiece of a book, a gastronomical tale and a oenophile’s dream journey that’s a bisexual and nonbinary romance of rediscovery and enduring love set upon the landscape of some of Europe’s most beautiful and ancient cultural heritage sites and tiny restaurants.  There really aren’t enough pages or words to describe…

[thecomicsnexus]

Casey Jones: A fighter with a heart of gold - TMNT 2003

The 2003 version of Casey Jones battled not only criminals but also his own inner demons. Join us as we explore his journey from reckless rage to redemption, and the relationships that helped him along the way.