#Cardinal Classic Short

[happywebdesign]

CC Co.

[blackswaneuroparedux]

If Caravaggio were alive today today, he would have loved the cinema; his paintings take a cinematic approach. We filmmakers became aware of his work in the late 1960s and early 1970s, and he certainly was an influence on us. The best part for us was that in many cases he painted religious subject-matter but the models were obviously people from the streets; he had prostitutes playing saints. There’s something in Caravaggio that shows a real street knowledge of the sinner; his sacred paintings are profane.

Martin Scorsese on Caravaggio

Michelangelo Merisi, known to most of us as “Caravaggio,” was born on September 29, 1571 in Milan, Italy, to parents who were from the small town of Caravaggio. In the span of his 38 years long life he revolutionised painting with innovations like a unique use of chiaroscuro - with dark shadows contrasting with dramatic areas of light - and a deep sense of realism that later inspired the Baroque movement. But most of all, he developed such an iconic style that most of us can probably look at a painting and know if it’s a Caravaggio, or Caravaggio-inspired. 

Merisi spent the first few years of his life in Milan, studying painting, and later moved to Rome, where his early talent impressed Cardinal Del Monte, who introduced the young painter to other high-profile Catholic figures who became commissioners of some of Caravaggio’s best work. It seemed there was no end to the artist’s creative genius. Caravaggio, much to his patron’s delight, would pump out one masterpiece after another. It seemed the more out of control his personal life became (cheating, brawling and murder were standard fare), the more his art would become more refined, more potent.

In the long list of masterpieces he left behind, both secular and religious works stand out. But it is perhaps in his religious works that the artistic transition of the master is more evident. Caravaggio is, in fact, known to have changed his style after harsh personal life experiences led him to reassess his outlook on life.

In May of 1606 Caravaggio took part in a deadly brawl in Rome and was charged with murder. He fled to Malta, in search of asylum from the Order of Saint John, a Catholic order dedicated to helping the sick and the poor. The order commissioned some of the most important late life works of the Milanese artist.

It is in these works that we notice the shift in Caravaggio’s art, from a strong focus on aesthetics to an interest in the spirituality of his subjects, which critics believe was motivated by his own introspection.

On the streets surrounding the churches and palaces, brawls and sword fights were regular occurrences. In the course of this desperate life Caravaggio created the most dramatic paintings of his age, using ordinary men and women - often prostitutes and the very poor - to model for his depictions of classic religious scenes.

By representing biblical characters in a naturalistic fashion, typically through signs of aging and poverty, Caravaggio's populist modernisation of religious parables were little short of trailblazing. Although not without his critics within the church, by effectively humanising the divine, Caravaggio made Christianity more relevant to the ordinary viewer.

For some, though, his art was too real. Bare shoulders, plunging necklines, severed heads; this raw humanity didn���t always fly in 17th century Rome. As a result, many of his pieces were rejected as altar pieces and as church hangings. One such piece, the Madonna of Loretto (now hanging in a church in Rome) was widely criticised upon its unveiling. The people of the day were shocked to behold the Mother of God leaning nonchalantly against a wall in her bare feet while holding baby Jesus in her arms.

It is ironic that the very art that today we consider “classical” and “iconic” to the Catholic faith was considered questionable and perhaps void of modesty and virtue. Yet, the fact remains that no individual artist has made such a lasting impression on the world of modern art. Truly, many have called Caravaggio the “first modern artist”. It is no surprise, then, that his style has sparked both widespread admiration and imitation throughout the centuries.

Before Pope John Paul II refined a theology of the body beautiful, Caravaggio's paintings suggested a reverence for the inherent beauty of human form.

Troubled though he may have been, his art speaks eloquently of the dignity of the mundane. Though the original medium may be weathered and cracked, the message of beauty still echoes down the centuries. And this same beauty still fuels, escapes and reduces artists to relentless seekers as surely and as forcefully as it did in Caravaggio's life.

[isabelawritesthings]

Recommending series and films about the Tudor Dynasty in chronological order

1. THE WHITE PRINCESS (Beginning of the reign of King Henry VII)

2. THE SPANISH PRINCESS (continuation of TWP, tells the story about Queen Catherine of Aragon, first wife of King Henry VIII)

3. THE TUDORS (starts in the early years of King Henry VIII's reign and ends at the end of his life, tells the story of important politicians of his reign such as Cardinal Wolsey, Thomas More and Thomas Cromwell, as well as obviously talking about his six wives)

4. BECOMING ELIZABETH (tells of the younger years of Queen Elizabeth I during the reign of her half-brother, King Edward VI)

5. LADY JANE (Helena Bonham Carter stars in this 1986 film, covering the short reign of Lady Jane Grey, who succeeded King Edward VI shortly after his death from tuberculosis)

6. ELIZABETH (A classic in Cate Blanchett's career, it tells the story of the reign of Queen Elizabeth I)

7. ELIZABETH: THE GOLDEN AGE (Sequel to 1998's Elizabeth, tells of the threats Elizabeth faced during her reign, including Mary Stuart's claim to the English throne)

OTHER RECOMMENDATIONS

1. THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL (It tells the story of sisters Mary and Anne Boleyn, both lovers of King Henry VIII, Anne would become Henry's second wife and mother of Elizabeth I)

2. WOLF HALL (The story is told from the point of view of Lord Chancellor Thomas Cromwell, during the tumultuous divorce of Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon, as well as his marriage to Anne Boleyn.

3. MY LADY JANE (A dystopian fantasy about Lady Jane Grey, but fun to watch)

4. REIGN (It focuses mainly on the dispute between Elizabeth I and Mary Stuart for the English throne)

Keep in mind that most of these series and films are not completely faithful to historical facts, but still maintain most of the events.

[wheelsgoroundincircles]

1981 Cadillac Evolution I

Fashion Victim: The 1981-83 Pierre Cardin Evolution I

French-Italian designer Pierre Cardin found worldwide fame with his exuberant approach to women’s fashion, but the skills didn’t necessarily cross over to the automotive world. 

The creator of mod chic and the bubble dress, Pierre Cardin (1922-2020) first made his name as a ladies’ fashion designer—one who then aggressively extended his brand marketing into consumer goods of all kinds, from perfume to sunglasses and eventually, automobiles. For American Motors he designed the 1972 Cardin Javelin with its memorable neon-striped upholstery, and in 1978 he whipped up a line of specially trimmed Cadillacs. But easily the wildest of his automotive enterprises was a customized Cadillac Eldorado called the Evolution I.

Cadillac Cardin Convertible

As we can see above, the most remarkable feature of Cardin’s restyled Eldorado is its  radically extended nose, which was facilitated in part with fenders and bumpers borrowed from the Oldsmobile Toronado, the Eldo’s GM E-body sibling. It’s an odd look, especially given the front-drive E-Body’s relatively short dash-to-axle distance.

The rear end styling was rearranged in a similarly arbitrary manner, with the Eldorado’s classic vertical taillights replaced with a slim horizontal lamp assembly that spanned the width of the body. Cardin’s sales literature boasted of “30 coats of hand-rubbed lacquer” and other fineries.

1981 Cadillac Evolution I

Luxury upgrades to the interior included elaborate two-tone leather upholstery, front and rear consoles, and a Quasar video player with a Sony TV in the rear seat. Pierre Cardin Automotive originally planned to produce 300 examples of the Evoluution I, with a gold plate on the instrument panel to testify to the serial number. But reportedly, only around 100 vehicles were delivered in the 1981-83 model run, including one Hess & Eisehnart convertible conversion. One likely reason for the limited popularity, we theorize, was the price: a hefty $58,000, more than three times the cost of a standard Cadillac Eldorado. As far as we know, this would be the fashion maven’s final foray into the automobile business.

Evolution I ad

[twistedastrology]

♋cancers and rage♋

-------------------------------------------------

i just did a workout because i had way too much energy today and now im exhausted so im gonna talk abt sumn im very passionate abt while i sit on the floor and recover ����‍💨

- 🌙 -

a pretty big observation ive made since ive been into astrology and more specifically since ive been basically reinventing it in my head is that cancers, especially cancer risings/cancer mars, have a VERY misunderstood relationship with anger.

most people ive seen have said something along the lines of cancers are crybabies and they tend to cry when they're angry or just skip anger altogether and go to the depression side of things

personally, im a cancer rising with mars conjunct my ascendant (and ofc saturn in my 1st 💞💞) and i have NEVER found this to be the case, and other cancer risings i know don't follow those stereotypes either

- ♈ -

in my experience, imagine a combination of aries energy and capricorn energy, THAT'S what cancers embody when it comes to emotion, especially rage.

i've written an entire newsletter on this and made a whole instagram post for it over at @bluedashercrafts (they're not on tumblr yet but the link takes u to their instagram!!) so i have indeed thought very in depth about this 😮‍💨

cancers can blow up like aries, but they can hold a grudge like capricorn- and if you're me and you have saturn in your 1st (in fixed fire btw 😮‍💨), you'll lean more towards the capricorn side of things in any emotion.

i personally have a massive tendency to bottle up the pain (andrageandfearthatifeeltHEPAINANDR-) until im in a safe environment to get it out (aka being alone with my earbuds in and music blasting) OR until i can't hold it in anymore and the steam gets so high pressured that it blows the lid off the fucking pot- that's when i gotta run away and isolate myself and do a workout ASAP otherwise i will likely hurt myself because there's just So Much Energy

- ♑ -

i wanna bring a couple other examples to the table so you get a better idea of what im talkin abt here-

if you're a korn enjoyer like me, you'll know the My Gift To You - Woodstock '99 performance. well the first time i saw that and it got to the "I HATE YOU- CAN'T YOU FEEL TEH PAAIN-" part, my fucking jaw dropped and i almost cried because i could not believe that i was seeing someone else exhibit the same like- Pure Unbridled Rage that i experience all the time- the kind of visceral emotion that literally makes you flail around on stage and then bang the microphone against it like 3+ times because you're trying to come back to reality like jonathan davis was-

THAT is the level I'm talking about- that is the level that is very specific to cancer placements, specifically cancer risings and cancer mars (and his mars is in a cancer degree of scorpio, so there you go)

another more well-known example would be Markiplier! if you've seen his rage game playthroughs, you'll know he throws chairs and mouses and just generally gets pissed to an ungodly extent- he's a cancer rising with his venus and sun in cancer and his mars in leo.

- 🌓 -

cancers are NOT the signs that break down crying when they experience anger, they are the ones that feel their blood boil more than aries does.

for another good example, my best friend has his mars and venus both in aries, but he's another cancer rising- whenever he gets angry, he gets VERY angry, but he doesn't have the saturn influence that i do, so his anger is much more aries-like (short fuse, louder about it and it doesn't last as long- his is more like the classic interpretation of anger issues), whereas mine is MUCH more capricorn-like (LONG fuse, WAY quieter about it but god forbid it gets loud, and it Can last a very long time)

- 🪐 -

now you might wanna ask me "why the hell do you keep saying aries and capricorn specifically", well i just explained that im not gonna lie BUT-

cancers are very aries-like because they're the CARDINAL water sign, and cardinal signs are basically just fire-coded whatever element they are- (aries is double fire, capricorn is fire-coded earth, libra is fire-coded air, and cancer is fire-coded water)

and with aries being the fire-coded fire sign, it's essentially capricorn is aries-coded earth- THAT'S why cancers can be VERY similar to aries.

as for capricorn, cancers are the sister sign to capricorn, so they'll share similar traits despite being on opposite sides of the wheel. PLUS, where fire burns itself out very quickly, water doesn't really dry out very quickly especially if there's a lot of it.

- 🌑 -

this is really just part 1 when it comes to my reinvention of cancers- ill cover their relationship with sex as opposed to scorpios in another post because i really wanna delve more into that BUT!!!

if you want more of a well-put-together post on this, go check out the ig post and newsletter i did for blue dasher crafts!!! i also dived a little more into my personal experience with the anger and catharsis i go thru being a cancer rising/mars so!!

[obrother1976]

hii would you have any book recs similar to the carnivorous lamb? just finished it recently and i literally cannot stop thinking about it......

wish i could rec u something that will hit as hard as carnivorous lamb does. but i cant. nothing can compare (in my opinion) but i can rec u some books depending on what u liked best/what u enjoyed in carnivorous lamb:

incest:

gemini by michel tournier - hard to get into but very worth it

house of incest by anais nin - short but so good u'll tear your hair out afterwards

ada or ardor: a family chronicle by vladimir nabokov - cant believe nabokov invented real love w this one

catholicism:

the sparrow by mary doria russell - book of all time & although i obv wouldn't call it a catholic book, i still think someone that liked carnivorous lamb would love this.

concerning the eccentricities of cardinal pirelli by ronald firbank - currently reading this & dont yet fully know what to make of it but its definitely interesting enough to check out.

fascism:

(bit of a disclaimer: none of these are specifically about spanish fascism. sorry. if you're really interested in the franco regime u could read george orwell's "homage to catalonia" but other than that i got nothing for u there)

fear and misery in the third reich by bertholt brecht & the resistable rise of arturo ui (also by brecht) - this is me pushing my brecht agenda (even tho these r plays and not technically books). love brecht's depictions of fascism though, esp in fear and misery

on the frontier: a melodrama in three acts by isherwood & auden - another play

death in venice by thomas mann - alright so this one's a bit tricky. its not technically about fascism (it was written in 1912) but i've seen a number of academic essays that make a case for reading it that way -> the degeneration of europe into fascism. in any case, great book, great prose and although its not actually incestuous, it v obviously plays with the theme of incest

fathers:

incest: from a "journal of love": the unexpurgated diary of anais nin - a classic.

winter of artifice by anais nin - no one got it quite like she did

mathilda by mary shelley - anon, listen to this: "I copied his last letter and read it again and again. Sometimes it made me weep; and at other [times] I repeated with transport those words,—"One day I may claim her at your hands." I was to be his consoler, his companion in after years."

dreams of clytemnestra by dacia maraini - a play again. but trust me on this one, it'll drive u insane.

mothers:

milk fed by melissa broder - actually havent read this one but my (redacted) loves it and it does sound rlly interesting (also i dont know any other books specifically about mothers... sad.)

[professorspork]

THE BIG RWBY BASEBALL POST

(previously on Leah Combines RWBY With Sports That Had Peak Popularity in The Early 20th Century: 2021 Kentucky Derby Horse Names as RWBY Weapons, Ranked)

Friends, it's that time of year again.

"Baseball season?" you ask. And I say: yes, but also.

"Oh. RWBY hiatus?" you groan, realizing I'm about to do something slightly unhinged.

Bingo.

To make a very long story short, I love these two things, and wanted to combine these two things, and have very strong opinions about these two things, so here we are: a post that makes a functional baseball team out of RWBY characters. True, the Venn diagram of people who like both these things as much as I do to serve as my audience is probably small. True, baseball positions aren't astrological signs and anyone of any personality can play anywhere, but lord knows there are Tropes and I plan to indulge.

SO. I give you the starting nine (plus some bullpen depth) of the Beacon Huntresses:

Pitcher: Weiss Schnee. Among several decisions that are no-brainers, this one is probably the no-brainiest. Weiss is a lefty (always highly in demand for pitchers) and her balletic combat movement style translates perfectly to a distinct delivery mechanic. Weiss is a high velocity, high strikeout pitcher who induces a lot of swings and misses with nasty breaking stuff that dances through the air and paints the corners. Because it brings me joy to think about, I'm going to say that Remnant uses old NL rules so Weiss has to bat, and I'll rank her at like a Cole Hamels-level "hey, that's not embarrassing for a pitcher!" career .400 OPS. Not afraid to sac bunt when she has to, but beats out the throw more often than you'd think.

Catcher: Jaune Arc. Yes yes get in your "White Knight real" jokes while you can about Weiss and Jaune playing as the regular battery. This one was also an easy selection; catchers are valued most highly for their strategic minds and defensive capabilities, with any offense added seen as a bonus. As the latest kerfuffle with the Cardinals blaming Willson Contreras for *checks notes* not being Yadi Molina shows, having trust in your catcher to call the game and be thoughtful in his pitch selection in high-leverage situations is paramount. That's Jaune all over. Probably not much of a power guy but has pop when it counts and is excellent at pitch framing.

First Base: Yang Xiao Long. Okay I promise I'll stop calling every decision a no-brainer but THIS ONE REALLY IS. Yang is your classic slugging first baseman, of whom there are literally too many examples to name-- including many righties YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE LEFTY TO PLAY FIRST OKAY. Yang's a Vladdy. Hits for serious power, but more than that embodies the quality that the best first basemen have: she's The Mayor. Truly iconic first basemen are fun to chat with! They are friendly to all their visitors as opposing players stop over on their way around the diamond; this is Yang to a T. Yang probably used to play center field in high school and got converted to 1B in the minors. Most likely on the team to induce very silly rundowns with goofy, clever, self-sacrificial baserunning. Has a penchant for always hitting homers the next time she faces a pitcher after she's been hit by a pitch.

Second Base: Blake Belladonna. She is all about those scrappy diving catches, and flipping to Ruby quickly so they can turn two (but I'm getting ahead of myself). Blake's a utility infielder who'd be comfortable anywhere but let's be real she likes playing the right field side because she gets sad when she can't easily make smirky meaningful eye contact with Yang at all times, so they keep her at second so she won't pout. Probably hits high average but low slugging. Most likely to volunteer to be a position player pitching during a blowout and then, like. Unexpectedly throw 93 with movement. Definitely steals a lot.

Shortstop: Ruby Rose. Ruby has the brains to be a catcher but to waste/ruin her speed on catcher's legs would be a crime; she's got zippy athleticism written all over her. She bats leadoff because she has excellent plate discipline; she's a hard out and gets on base a ton. Think a DJ LeMahieu or Bryson Stott at his best-- sprays to all fields, and sees pitches in the double digits like every other at-bat because she's happy to stand there and keep fouling it off with an infuriating smile on her face until the pitcher makes a mistake. Steals even more often than Blake does, but specifically is a tricksy little imp on the basepaths like Anthony Volpe-- like she would definitely induce a throw when she was already back at the bag because she dances around. (I s2g there's video of this but I cannot find it anywhere sry.)

Third Base: Penny Polendina. Fast hands, Gold Glove-level defense. Unfortunately she's built in the mold of an Adalberto Mondesi or Byron Buxton where it's like "no better player on earth when she's healthy but she's NEVER HEALTHY;" she's got glass bones and has had multiple weeks-long trips to the Injury List or needed season-ending surgery because something popped or snapped. The sort of player where it's like "god no you don't understand, the game is so much better when she's playing" and it's a heartbreaker because SHE KEEPS GETTING TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU. Once did a bat flip after a home run because Ruby encouraged her to and, like, the bat shattered on the grass somehow because she's that strong.

Left Field: Emerald Sustrai. Because if you ask her, her face turn was... out of left field! Eh? Eh??? Okay yeah sorry. To me Emerald is a 2022 Oswaldo Cabrera situation where they threw her in left because they had nowhere else to put her even though she'd never played it before in the minors but she was just. Instantly extremely good at it. Has great range for tracking down fly balls in foul territory. Very streaky hitter who either runs super hot and super cold with no in-between. Steals a lot but also gets caught stealing a lot because she's impatient (see also: streaky hitter, probably chases out of the zone and has really poor plate discipline). But she's getting better! Most likely to come up with cute home run celebration ideas and then absolutely refuse to take credit for them.

Center Field: Pyrrha Nikos. This is the last of the extremely obvious no-brainers. Pyrrha is your star franchise player in center field; she is your Aaron Judge, your Mike Trout. Hits for average and for power, pure athleticism and grace, the player everyone's heard of even when they don't give a shit about baseball. Also now I'm just thinking about how Mike Trout would 100% be like "actually that cereal isn't very good for you" and Pyrrha would 100% stay up all night riveted to the Weather Channel and then call in to compliment the meteorologist they are the same person. Her catches at the fence are so spectacular, you could swear her glove's magnetized.

Right Field: Nora Valkyrie. Is there a very obvious "designated hitter" joke to be made about Nora "be strong and hit stuff" Valkyrie? Yes, of course. But I already said Remnant doesn't have the DH and let's be real, Nora's got a CANNON for an arm and thus belongs in right. Like I'm talking throws like this beaut from Hunter Renfroe the other day-- you do not run on Nora, because she WILL get you out on what you think is a routine double. Bats cleanup and probably has a whole Bash Brothers routine with Yang, including special handshakes. Definitely a pull hitter.

Regular starting lineup is most likely:

Ruby

Pyrrha

Yang

Nora

Blake

Penny

Jaune

Emerald

Weiss

Rounding out the team in the bullpen are:

Long relief: Lie Ren. When your starter melts down and you need someone to keep things calm and give you like four quality innings without giving up more runs, Ren's your guy. Also very happy to play setup man. Throws a knuckleball, says Nora taught him how, and refuses to give more details when people ask.

Closer: Oscar Pine. Admittedly probably more of a ground ball pitcher than a strikeout guy; he induces weak contact and is always going for the double play. I see him as a David Robertson or Kenley Jansen type who gets himself into jams and then gets out of them and like. Yes more often than not he gets the job done but sometimes he'll give you a damn heart attack about it. OSCAR WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS.

In the process of writing this post Helen asked me who the manager would be and noted Qrow would give absolutely adorable A League Of Their Own vibes. She also suggested that Ozpin (well, Ozma) probably invented baseball in the first place, so... more proof that she's funnier than me.

okay I've been thinking about and then writing this for almost five hours now I have to stop. should I have put some of this behind a cut? probably! but I think it's beautiful, so... sorry but not sorry to all your dashboards <3 I want you to know this included way more specific baseball player comps at one point but I took some of them out so you might have a chance of understanding this <3

[sysmedsaresexist]

QUESTION!!! what’s your favorite fish :3

Oh, wow, that's so hard to answer

Let's start with the fish I have, I'm not sure I have a favorite, so much as there are fish that I would absolutely recommend and/or buy myself again

Goldfish - super intelligent, unpredictable murder machines 7/10, what am I even supposed to do with this creature

Gold Dust Mollies - stressed like me, hide a lot, we didn't run their bubbler for two weeks because we were waiting for a hookup to run the starter baby tank and the bubbler at the same time, it came, I turned on the bubbler, and traumatized them for over a month, not sure how my partner puts up with me. Also, live births. 3/10, master level fish, harder than they seem at first glance, worth it if you put in the time

Zebra Danios (short fin) - so speedy fast, racing all the time, so many wiggles, Java moss is a must, watch them wiggle wiggle wiggle so fast, interactive, not as pretty as some other fish, but their little front fins make me happy, lays eggs, 9/10, highly recommend

Cardinal Tetras - calm little puppies, very colorful, low maintenance, their little mouths, and when they look at you from the front, such silly little eyes, kind of boring though, lays eggs, 8/10, highly recommend

Corydora - give me a tank with just 100 of these, love them, adorable, so fast, they breathe air so they go racing to the top, and they're so fast they make a bloop, and then go racing back down. They flirt by vibrating at each other. Lays eggs. 10/10 for constant amusement, 6/10 for difficulty, they poison themselves when stressed, good luck getting them home in one piece, my recommendation: buy at least 3 at once (MUST have at least 6 for a healthy group, when I say 3, I mean your replacements after you fuck up the first time, buy only 1 or 2 and you're almost guaranteed to lose them as well, just hold off and wait until you need 3, even if your group size is 4 or 5), either have the fish store wrap their bag in dark paper towel, or bring one yourself.

Also, they blink, and it's creepy, this knocks another two points off, 4/10, advanced fish

Fun story, they sit very cutely on anything, and i pulled out my phone to take a video, and after several minutes, it stopped being cute and started being worrying, and then...

PLECO! We have 2, a female albino bushy nose, named Happy Andy, and a miserable male clown named Angry Gary. Don't look online to see what they're going to be like. No pleco is like another, and you literally have no idea what you're going to get until it's in your tank and settled. There's a 90% chance you'll never see your pleco. You will always worry about whether it's alive. If it's a tank of just small fish, he is, I promise, leave it alone. When you do see them, it'll make your heart very happy. They poop. A lot. I can't state that enough. 7/10, would still recommend.

Betta - hardy, a classic, gorgeous, save them from the cups. You can only have 1 in a tank. No, don't get the little 3 tanks together separated by glass, they can smell and see each other and it's stressful for them. Please don't give them less than a 10 gallon ): you most likely can't keep anything with them, but you can increase your chances of a peaceful community tank by putting in your peaceful fish first, and then adding the betta. Remember to only keep very FAST fish with your betta, like tetras. Super easy to care for, but will give you a lot of stress for no reason. 8/10, they lose a point for such limited tank mates. Highly recommend.

Mystery guppy - magically appeared in my male betta tank, will update when I figure out what it is. 7/10 mystery baby experience. I'm enjoying myself.

Now, the fish I WANT

I can really only go by other lists, so I think, right now, the fish I'm obsessed with is the boeseman's rainbowfish.

They get about 10cm, and you need at least 6 of them, so you need a big boy tank for sure. They're apparently quite hardy, peaceful, and longlived (8 years, if you're lucky!!). Their mouth is small, so they can be kept with a variety of tank mates. They're apparently really interesting to watch swim, because they school.

I think that'll be my next goal.

Share your favorite fish with me!!

[izabeladidelgado]

Baking day at school

6:20 am Miercoles

i have a huge cooking day ahead at school. I'm making the sponge cake i already posted the recipe to, as well as my own classic cinnamon rolls. These will be sold at school and all the earnings will be used to pay for our school trip.

My group is using the 1950s as a theme, and we are currently in the lead for the competition !!

Regardless, i am daily manager, and my role is to make sure everyone does their job, and to as well take a lot of the responsibility for contacting sponsors and purchasing the ingredients and items needed. We had a budget of around 200 nok and some sponsors from 4 different companies and my own parents.

I didn't have time to properly do my hair today so i had to do a pretty simply hair style

11:07am Miercoles

As of right now, i'm on my second cake that i have to bake. Wednesday school days are very short so i'll make the cinnamon rolls after school, at home. The other members of the group have yet to make their candy apples and christmas cookies. They're great at procrastinating. But nevertheless, Ai-linh and Maia have been great members and contributed very well. My friend Natalia is in charge of advertising and design, and she's doing a great job as well. She is an extremely creative girl and she's great at what she does.

The school day is almost over, so i'll have to carry a few kilos of ingredients for around 6 km or so. But i skipped workout yesterday, so it's only fair that i catch up !!

My cooking class teacher was awfully nice today, so i thanked her for that. She's usually very strict and doesn't let people get away with mistakes, but this time she was very nice. Maybe it was because we were the only people in class today. [Me and william]

12:09am Miercoles

We're almost finished for the day, and i'm taking the bus home instead cause i have way much stuff to carry

We have two cakes in the fridge and some rolls in the oven. Cookies and apples are yet to be picked up. Tomorrow i'm most likely making coffee as well.

Ai-linh and Maja haven't showed up today to school, so i'm assuming they're out picking up from sponsors and buying the stuff we need. I like to give them the benefit of the doubt.

these are the rolls William made. We failed at cinnamon rolls as it forgot to add butter and properly let the yeast sit. But regardless, they seem to turn out good.

13:18 Miercoles

It turns out Ai-Linh and Maja didn't actually need the sugar, so i walked the 6km though my plan was to not. I'm home at the moment, and my plan is to hopefully be able to make cinnamon rolls, or i'll do so tomorrow. I'm very tired after today, due to all the work i've done and not being able to take breaks. But regardless, i have to buy a dress today to fit the theme of the day.

19:08 miercoles

Me and my brother were home alone, and he wanted pancakes. And since i recently finished reading him Percy Jackson, i figured i'd make him blue pancakes.

After that, i helped him with his homework. And once he was put to bed, i did my own, and some other physics studies about cardinal numbers. It took a little while, but afterwards, i went to bed myself.

11:35 jueves

I finally talked to Ai-linh and Maja, and they finally gave me an update on whag they did. Their sugar apples failed, so they were going to make an apple pie today instead, since we couldn't waste the apples we got sponsored. Daniel hasn't done anything - genuinely, i spoke to him, requesting an update on what he had done for the past three days, and he proudly stated that he had done nothing. Not even had he helped Maja or Ai-linh. He then proceeded to complain about how long we were taking to finish the project, which was quite hypocritical of him. Nevertheless, i took both the cakes i had baked on top of eachother, and it turned out pretty good. We made cinnamon rolls as well, and it's made with my own recipe, so om excited to see what the parents and judges think.

13:45 Jueves

I'm at the bus stop right now, waiting for the 13:49 bus, that i'll take to get to church. I won't be there for long, as i have to be back at school by 16:00 and as well bake some more at home, and get ready for the event. So far, everything has gone great - ai-linh and Majas apples failed, but i'm sure the apple pie will turn out great!! It's all just trial and error, but we'll make it work eventually.

Tomorrow, we're finished at school at around 10:50 due to how long we'll be at school today.

17:09

This is how the stand currently looks !! i'm very proud of my group and myself

[the girl in the corner is my childhood best friend Kira !! she's the sweetest and smartest girl ever] my step sister will be coming along to visit our stand, so i'm very excited for that as well. I doubt Daniel will ever show up, but we manage fine without him.

20:12 jueves

The event went amazing!! We won first place for best logo, and we sold out practically everything. I had about 4 apples, and a slice of cake, even though i'm lactose intolerant, as well as allergic to apples. But hopefully i'll be fine. My step sister came along, and gave me the letter i needed to give to my psychiatrist describing me as a person, as well as things she believed was necessary for my diagnosis and treatment. I am not allowed to read the letter, due to my promise to her, but she gave me a good idea of what was in it. Nevertheless, i got some gingerbread cookies from my friends that were one stand away from us, and since we were all under 15, we weren't allowed to use the service "vipps" which is used to transfer money. So we all traded our products across eachother.

also a picture i took today!!

[tehriel]

Moth and Flame (not Ghoul enough)

Behold, I have finished this fanfic, I am editing chapters as they come out.

Sodo/Dew x Reader primarily. Little Rain and Phantom x Reader too. Reader do just get around.

Mature, more plot over porn.

Tags: banter, attempts at humour, little violence, gore, really don't take this one seriously

Classic enemies to lovers romcom vibes. Not reinventing the wheel should be an easy read. The reader is a too-happy, sparkly ghoul who has been given the position of cardinal. Sodo is the bane of their entire existence; they are forced to work together. Gaffs ensue.

Deals with themes of being a people pleaser.

Below you can find the first chapter~

will probably repost when I have made a pretty cover for this one~

You hummed softly, swaying in the lazy light of early spring. You spun barefoot around your well-trodden paths of the greenhouse, which hid in the great shadow of the cathedral. Your waltz caused your tail to sweep the dirt floor and the skirts of your white cassock to flutter.

You stopped dead in your tracks. “Just look at you~” you chirped, pausing to admire one of your black roses. “Friend, you’re early; the ritual dance isn’t for another three weeks,” you tapped the early bloomer on the head. “Maybe I’ll dry you out so people can still enjoy all the work you’ve put into being pretty, hmm?” You pondered for a while before pouring some water from your watering can. The water ran red. The rose could not be happier.

“Cardinal _______,” came a soft call.

A smile slowly peeled over your face; your teeth were sharp, but your demeanour wasn’t threatening. “Sister Maria~” you sparkled and peered down from the balcony, “I’m in the roses—from memory, you liked my roses, hum?”

“O—o.. yes, Cardinal.” You were her Juliet on your balcony, and the small slight of a girl turned bright beet red.

You cocked your brow and gave her an unassuming grin. “Whatever has you so flustered, Sister?”

“N-nothing, uh, Papa Emeritus has sent for you, Cardinal.”

“And here I was thinking you’d come to see me, Sister,” you teased and picked up your snips from your tool table. “I’ll be down in a moment.” Your voice turned to whisper, “You want to go with her, huh? That’s why you were early, very sly of you.” You took the rose low on the stem and replaced your snips on the bench before walking down the spiral steps, flower in tow. “You look lovely today, Sister~” you twittered.

“Oh, t-thank you…” The scarlet of her cheeks contrasted her black habit.

You expertly dethorned the rose with quick claws.  “Here you are,” you gave a short bow and offered the plant.

“T-thank you, Cardinal,” she stammered and looked away as she twirled the stem between her fingers.

“Anytime, Sister~ You know I appreciate your company~” You twinkled and danced around her, tail moving like a streamer in your wake. “Will you walk with me to see Papa~?”

“No-no, I’m needed in the kitchens today.”

You clicked your tongue, “Ah, too bad—and still, I think I can tell when you are helping out in the kitchens, the meals taste a little extra… mhhm.” You made the universal hand sign for ‘fucking delicious’.

“Oh, I just chop…”

“It’s not what goes in… it’s the way you smell,” you slowly flashed her your teeth.

She swallowed.

“Anyway~ I’ll see you later, Sister; enjoy your rose~” you beamed and near-skipped away to Papa Copia’s offices.

***

“Meet in Aeth’s room after practice?” Rain the water ghoul prompted the group of dark-clad ghouls in his soft-spoken voice.

“Yeah, you can all try my new brew,” Swiss’s grin was too big, it always was.

“Eugh, you didn’t make this one in your toilet again, right?” Aether wrinkled his nose.

“Noooo….” Swiss waved off in a way that everyone with ears could tell he was full of shit.

“Oh, you so did, fucking minging, man,” Aether was loud. His voice echoed up the polished marble hallway.

“Naw, come on, it adds to the-the… experience. It’s fucking powerful stuff—I’ve been bothering Papa for a distiller.”

“I don’t care about the minutia and the abience of your fucking toilet, man!” Aeth’s nose wrinkled.

“I cleaned it before I..”

“Brewed more fucking shit in it?” Aeth’s brows rose in a ‘are you kidding?’ manner.

“Well, I’m in,” Phantom shrugged, “pretty sure I’ve put worse things in my mouth.

“Pretty sure I’ve watched you put worse things in your mouth,” Aether slapped his shorter brother’s shoulder affectionately.

“Uh, hey guys, what are we talking about~?” You twinkled, stepping up to the group. Your white hooded cassock shone colours in the stained glass sunlight, a blinding contrast to their inky black formal ghoul’s uniforms.

“Oh…” is all Swiss said. 

They all went dead quiet. 

You felt the weight of it.

You watched them look at each other. 

Even Phantom couldn’t look at you.

You nodded to yourself, “Uh, I was going to hang out in the forest later this week if anyone wanted to come?” You prompted, still smiling.

“Ah, busy week,” Aether stretched.

“Busy,” Swiss nodded. “Yeah, you know all this ritual prep,” Swiss waved.

“Phantom?” You smiled hopefully. 

“Ah, nah, gonna have to take the L on this one, Cardinal… busy, uh, with them.” He pointed to the rest of the group.

“All uh, week?” You frowned.

“Yeah, yes.” Swiss nodded. “Alllll week, that Copia is a real slave driver.”

You nodded in a big way. “Ah, yeah… I get it, no, uh… probably more fun alone, right…? uh, trees and… yeah. Really absorb the… ambience,” You refused to let your smile die or show any disappointment.

“Anyway, we got a thing with Sodo, like right now, so…” Swiss thumbed.

“That’s right,” Phantom touched his forehead. “Almost forgot that.”

“Oh, cool, yeah, you guys have an awesome day, huh?” You nodded, still beaming as brightly as you could.

“Yes, will do!” Phantom gave a thumbs up but was already walking away.

There was a chorus of ‘bye’s, and they hurriedly walked away. Rain was last to move. “Sorry, Cardinal ______…” he murmured, turning away.

“You know you don’t have to call me that?” You called softly, knowing his grey, pointed ears would still hear you. “Just ______ is fine.”

“______,” he muttered but left anyway.

Your grin shakily gave out, and you sighed softly, watching the leaves dance and mar the light of the windows. You were alone.

***

“Ah, my beautiful Cardi _,” Copia brimmed and stood from his paper-littered desk. He might as well have swum up to you from the depths of ink and paperwork. Poor guy.

“Does not seem fair that I can no longer call you Cardi C, Papa,” you chuckled. “How are you today, Papa E~?”

He was in his comfy red sweats and simple dark eye makeup for a hard day in the office. “Ah yes, good-good. Come sit, my ghoul. You want a biscuit or perhaps a juice box?” He offered you the cookie jar on his desk as he always did.

You sat, your tail ending up politely in your lap as you waved off the biscuit; for some reason, you had no appetite. It definitely had nothing to do with what just happened in the hallway on your way here. “What can I help you with today, Papa~?” You twinkled.

“Naw, can’t I ask you into my office just to catch up?” His grin skewed the black of his painted upper lip.

“I know you wish you could, Papa,” you huffed a small sigh, missing when you were both cardinals and he had actual time on his hands. But humans grew up—and you just wouldn’t.

“I’m taking some holiday time soon, perhaps then, huh?”

“That is the best news I’ve heard all day~” you grinned. “Ooo ooooo, I gotta start planning!”

“Yes, I will book you in for a weekend, but until then, I want you to do something for me.”

“Hmm~? I’m listening.”

“I, uh, need the basement cleaned out and reorganised. I went down looking for what we need for the springtime ritual dance, and I really couldn’t find shit down there.”

“Not even a little turd?” You frowned.

“Very funny,” he said in a way that meant, ‘you’re not funny at all’.

You stood and stretched yourself out. “Last I checked, it’s a fucking hellscape down there; I think I’d know because, uh,” you pointed to the horns that popped out the top of your hood. “But I’ve got this~ Anything else, Papa?” You were already getting ready to leave, though. He just didn’t have time for you anymore, but if this made things easier for him, you were all too happy to help.

“Eh, yes, actually,” he looked away, and his leather-clad finger fiddled with a pen on his desk.

“You’re usually a little more forward about these things,” you chuckled and piqued a brow.

“What? Uh, nah.. it’s…” he cleared his throat. “Sodo will be helping you clear the basement.”

“Eh-what?” You felt your usually springy, chipper mood slipping.

“Sodo is going to be helping you out,” he repeated, but you had definitely heard him correctly the first time. You were praying for a bee to have maybe buzzed passed, and it sounded like people just saying stupid shit for some reason.

“Papa…” you eased. “Papa, this is where you say uh, ‘sike’, and we both laugh because he is an awful shit, and you would never trap me in a basement with him for weeks on end.”

“I am sorry, ______, I am aware of how you feel about him.”

“I am starting to think that may not be the case. Papa, Lucifer created him to be the size of a football for a reason.” You studied his mismatched eyes, trying to detect some kind of joke you were missing.

“A reason, Caro?”

“So that Baggio might one day kick him into the sun.”

Copia laughed before he could stop himself. “Ah, I love Baggio~”

“Come on, Papa, there has to be something more useful he could be doing, like uh, being a hamburger. I have a very good recipe if you ever consider….”

“______,” he shook his head and chuckled, “I’m sorry, it’s out of my hands; Sister caught him trying to set a fire in the abbey again…”

“Of course, he was,” you rolled your eyes. “He keeps saying there are cherubs in there…”

“He’ll be helping you out as punishment.”

“Punish himmmm! Not me! I can do this all so easily by myself.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love you both dearly,”

“I have no idea why…” you muttered under your breath.

“But I worry what would happen if he was in there alone and unsupervised with all our ritual decorations…”

“And the weapons locker,” you huffed, and your lip dropped. “He only has two brain cells, violence and dumb.”

“Naw, come now, Cardinal ______. I am still not wholly sure why you hate him so much.”

“He’s short, angry and mean,” you answered without thought.

“Mean?”

“Oh, you know, ‘______, if you love plants so much why don’t you marry one,’ orrr ‘______, maybe you should sew yourself a body bag next’ orrr ‘______, I get to make love to Swiss, and you don’t so… go eat worms.’ You know, things like this.”

Copia steepled his hands in thought. “I see. Maybe you could, uh, take time and ‘bond’ over this… at least hate each other a little less…”

“Bond? Bond?! Papa! I rather eat glass. I would rather strap on wings and ascend to whatever heaven the Trump supporters go to.”

“At the very least, you will have some more uh, comedic material, huh?”

You blew out your cheeks. “They say trauma makes a person very funny. Eugh, but I’ve already seen hell; why must I survive it here too?!”

“Ah, always so dramatic, my pretty ghoul.”

You gave him a face of utter disapproval.

“I’m afraid it’s my final say on the matter, ______. I believe the two of you can work out the basement without too much damage.”

You closed your eyes for a long time and sighed, “I understand this next ritual takes a lot of time and planning, so I will do this for you, Papa Copia—not for him. For you.” 

“Thank you, my sweet ghoul. Perhaps I will take time to plan out our weekend, huh? As a reward for all this?”

“When did you ever get so charming?” You gave him a tight smile.

“Oh, uh, always~” he grinned. 

“Right, let’s fucking get this done…”

“Hope you have a lovely day, Cardinal~”

“You too, Papa,” you sagged, opening the door. Your tail followed you limply out. Fucking shitty, fuck. Hell.

Thank you for reading friend! I hope you enjoyed it!!

[malverav]

beasts of the briar: 2 books in 9 hours and absolutely all of mega rambly stream of consciousness thoughts about beasts and i shill for garth nix, not for the last time

So i started reading book 1 at 2am as an insomnia read, because once my insomnia hits, it stays, and i'm awake until bedtime tomorrow (thanks vyvanse!). Wanted easier than my recent bedtime reading, a small town in germany by john le carre. It's dense and i read the looking glass war right before it, which was clever but a slow burning, subtle novel. i was in the mood for something lighter, and was thinking about trying to read more sarah j maas (i read acotar in 2022 and hated it. I'm giving the next one a fair crack once my reservation comes in, but it was just so... not fun? Not boring but really dry). I have a fairytale themed market coming in march, know fey are big, but haven't been keeping up with popular fey lit At All so if i want to make fanart to get people to look at my stall, it should probably be a throne of x an y?

ANYWAY

(also don't follow me please if you want like, uncritical take or breathless praise of a series/author (unless it's garth nix, we stan nix on this blog). i'm not attacking you personally if you love it, but i'm over 25 and this is my tumblr blog where i have my opinions. peace)

also im spoiling stuff if you care about that

My friend recced beasts of the briar as totally unconsciousness madness with a plot as subtle as a sledgehammer, so obviously i'm in for it. I'd rather have rubbish someone cooked with pure joy/horny than something boring and technically "good".

Anyway i finished book 2 at about 11am. I'm a fast reader and couldn't sleep, but i like it a lot! I read 2 books in 9 hours! Like let's be real, it is not Classically Good and it definitely reads like fanfic of something else, but it's like, fanfic on a03 in 2010 that's got an air of respectability, it's had a couple of betas and a regular update schedule for a while. You can tell that someone's having a blast writing it. I'm interested to see if they keep the core heat of the dynamic as they start to you know, spoilers, pair people off and solve curses. For me, I feel like the dynamic is starting to cool/stale with Kel/Rose and Farron/Rose. Kel/Ez? *sucking in a breath thru my teeth, leaning back in my chair, white knuckled* anyway Book 2 has barely touched this ship and I'm reading for it. Thank you, EH, for writing this for Me, your horniest nb reader. I appreciate the slow burn while Day/Fare make me roll my eyes so much they roll onto the floor after a while. Don't ever talk about your feelings directly in a romance unless you're forced to. My cardinal sin. Tension evaporates when people therapy talk. Therapy fuck instead, that's how kink works and you get an insight into a character with how they process what scares them into what turns them on this is a post for another time moving on

It's a common issue in romance imo where once the initial tension wears off or breaks, if there's no other "plot" to carry the book it's really hard to keep me hooked. It's best short and sweet, in maybe 20-80k word bursts imo. More than that wordcount I think you need to dream up a plot first and a good romantic dynamic second - most writers (including EH) aren't good enough to carry full novels on characters alone. I can write smoking hot 10k word smut scenes. That's the hard limit for me before I have to start spinning a plot around it, which is so much fucking harder so I absolutely sympathise with the dilemma - if she'd solved the personal issues of the 4 MCs (and +1 secret love interest with Cas, honey, EH, that flower on the ground representing her mate bond with him was so blunt I flinched but you know what I like it anyway because I think you liked too). The plot/worldbuilding is on the thin side, not meaty enough to carry the book all by itself without the romance. There's a huge disparity in stakes with the fate of the Enchanted Vale HANGING in the BALANCE of this ROMANCE and not on the actions of any other character's plots or actions

I think this book reading like fanfic (and let's be real, the trope marketing of these types of books) makes the romantic conclusion generally a sure thing, which takes the air out of any non-romance plot conflict because the characters will solve it with romance. Eg, the bond/mate thing here being the plot answer means that characters who aren't in the main romantic sphere mean very little. So you can kill them as the author because we know they're "safe". . Niamh (queen shit rip miss u already) did nothing meaningful. The side characters (Fare's cool adorable brothers, Rose's dad, Astrid, Marigold (love her tho)) and even the VILLAINS all feel really cardboard because we as the readers know they won't impact the final stakes unless it's to drive our MCs further in love. We know the resoution is that they're all gonna live in a happy polycule and Cas will be fixed with the power of love. But, that means that when you kill Niamh or imprison/defeat uh... Jafar - sorry, evil vizier Perth (reading this book as an Aussie is so fucking funny but that's a separate post ok) it's a bit meaningless. Perversely (hah!) it has a negative impact on the sex, too, because it's too much sweet and not enough vegetables (other plot stuff/character connections). It's like watching a movie that's nonstop action scenes - you feel tired watching it because there's no variety. How many times are Day/Fare/Rose/some combination going to fuck with basically the same beats in the sex scene? Too many. I was getting bored. Sorry.

side note GIIIIIRL PERTH IS VILLAIN QUEER CODED LIKE JAFAR IN A BOOK WITH 4x QUEER MALE MCs I praise EH for the courage to fall back on the classic lazy tropes in book 1 so they can handwave politics and get back to the porn. Shine on.

And the author's game of keep away with the specifics of Kel's vow with Cas, what exactly happened there at the start is wearing preeeeetttttyyy fucking tired. Fucking talk to each other. This stuff only works in a romance with a small cast because there's very few other characters Rose isn't romantically involved with that she can talk to, and fewer still that she's on equal terms with - remember, Astrid and Marigold are servants and serving in Castletree is a big honour, and while they act like the prince's friends/fans let's not forget how some of the pretty boys (Day) kill their own citizens pretty thoughtlessly, so if Astrid was to betray her liege lord's trust and tell Rose (and the reader) the truth, she's risking death by Kel's hand, being banished back to Winter, or having to flee to the Below. And there'd be no concequences for Kel apart from Rose probably having a huff a bout it but getting over it eventually. Not great!

The "oh I can't tell Rose this it's my GREATEST SHAME" is dull after the first two reveals, and I feel like we have more of these to go where she accepts them and heals them because Castletree is a fucking construction site with how Rose is fixing these boys (lame! hate how she's always the damsel/healer/fixer - ez is literally a healer but doesn't fill the healer/heart/gendered female caretaker role in this polycule and i reckon i'd like it a lot better if he did - based on sexual tension with kel and the early line about mummy and daddy fighting, this shit writes itself (ok personal ick to daddy/mummy dynamics but im too genderqueer to not like to fuck with power + gender/roles another post another post omfg)). There's other ways to create tension in a romance, but you need to lean harder into the Other Plot to make it richer. Or have Rose be a Bad Person and be disgusted at what they've done, but imo backstory reveals are boring, tell your story onscreen, coward.

In my opinion. In minecraft. This is longer than I thought. Also for the record! I like this series! I think it's still fun and the narrative voice is cheesy but I really like it, and I'm looking forward to reading more books. Oh, and looking at the community on here, it's been so long since I engaged in a fandom.

Ok last side note I also like how everyone's super normal about everyone being bi/pan, at least in the male MCs. I haven't caught much queer/poly romance elsewhere in other characters - lots of 2 parent households and het monogomous relationships, apart from the random hot fae people of various genders except Rose fuck. No nbs so far but I'm used to not seeing anyone resembling me in a book.

(Notable exceptions to the romance notes above? Garth Nix's recent books (Frogkisser, Terciel and Elanor, Booksellers books) all are a great romance and have a fabulous plot, so the romance in a book like that feels fleshed out and meaningful. But that's another blog post. But, rest assured, you like Regency fantasy? Read Frogkisser. You like to read/like books (or like American Gods, Good Omens, Skulduggery Pleasant)? Read Left Handed Booksellers of London. Butchy FMC and NB love interest in the 80s, come OnNNNnnnNNnNNNnn Garth Nix writing books for healing my inner queer teen. If I read Angel Mage or Booksellers I'd probably be out with they/them pronouns being a blazing queer in all spheres of my irl life, not just the close ones. I cried a bit reading Booksellers when Merlin is just, very genderqueer as a matter of fact because that's a character like me and my favourite childhood author knows people like me exist and lets them be awesome in his books. I tear up thinking about it and I'm nearly 30. Fucking read it even if there's no smut. Angel Mage is on the three musketeers. There's a great female villain. If you're from the US you may not have heard of Nix. You're missing out so fucking bad and I'm sorry.)

I ramble. My vyvanse wore off a couple hours ago so this is my diary now. Never expect short posts.

[rebelrebelwrites]

Fic Friday! ❤️ Rebel’s Weekly Fic Recs

++ Dark Fic Edition ++

A quick note about this week’s rec list — all fics listed are considered “dark fic,” i.e. they include dark themes and content. It’s therefore as important as ever to mind the tags and curate your own reading experience and remember the cardinal rule: if you don’t like, don’t read.

I wanted to do this special edition of Fic Recs Friday to support the writers on this list and all who write dark fic in general. I personally have greatly enjoyed expanding my reading horizons thanks to their deft ability to explore these darker themes with thoughtfulness and sensitivity, all while crafting some truly amazing, compelling stories.

Finally — please be kind, respectful of others’ reading and writing experiences, and remember that creators of fanworks do what they do for free, and are entitled to write whatever they want. They owe me/you nothing except some tags to provide a heads up on what we’re getting into. I do not condone any kind of fandom harassment, least of all based on story subject matter.

Without further ado! As always, this week's recs are...

As always, please mind the tags on any recommended story for your own personal preferences.

+++

The Classic You’ve Heard Of But Somehow Haven’t Read Yet: The Greatest Slavery by @demonscantgothere

What you need to know going in:

Another @demonscantgothere classic! I’m obviously a fan, and I remember reading this early on in the fandom. Previously complete at 3 chapters, it’s recently been expanded/continued beyond the initial conclusion, and is now currently a WIP slated for 10 chapters! The premise: Sauron has Celeborn prisoner, and the only way he’ll return him to Galadriel is if she accepts his terms… without knowing what they are. 👀 I don’t want to spoil the first half of the story, so I’ll leave it at that, but I will say to expect possessiveness, fiery smut, and a heaping helping of anguish and angst for all parties. This one will make you heartsick in the best way; the way only a great classic, even a tragic one, can do.

WIP, Explicit

Read the story.

Follow the author on Tumblr and AO3.

+++

The AU You Need to Immerse Yourself In Because, Well, Wow: the shark in your water by @bad-surprise

What you need to know going in:

I recently got caught up on this modern AU from @bad-surprise in a bid to speed through my list of their fics to read, and OOF. Unsettling, but in the best, most compelling way, this fic features an underage Galadriel playing with fire by being intrigued by, then getting involved with her new stepbrother, Halbrand. The tension of their dynamic in this story is razor-sharp; every moment, you’re wondering what’s going to happen next, whether you’ll witness tenderness or another taste of horror, and you can’t tear your eyes away. Darkly captivating… don’t miss it.

WIP, Explicit

Read the story.

Follow the author on Tumblr and AO3.

+++

The Complete But Never Forgotten Masterpiece: To the End of Days by @scriberated

What you need to know going in:

Another favorite from the talented @scriberated, and the first part of a WIP series I’m 👀 to see how it ends. In this first installment, Galadriel returns to the Southlands, believing she’s “saving” Halbrand after he mysteriously disappears in the fight against Adar. Let’s just say that she’s in for a surprise when they re-meet; I don’t want to give away any more than that. In short, be ready to be consumed by flames because the betrayal, desperation and domination, and smut all burn. 🔥🔥🔥 And burn good.

Complete, Explicit

Read the story.

Follow the author on Tumblr and AO3.

+++

The WIP That Will Wreck You (In the Best Way): My Loathing Star by @myrsinemezzo

What you need to know going in:

Full disclosure, this story from @myrsinemezzo was gifted to me so I’m a little biased, but damn if it ain’t gripping as hell. A continuation from a larger, smut-tastic series where Galadriel and Halbrand get close and then closer after Galadriel agrees to have her body painted by a celebrated artist in Eregion (which, yes, I definitely recommend reading all of what came before!), this story is in its infancy, but holds so much promise for what’s to come. It begins with even more scintillating smut before taking a darker turn that I won’t spoil. Prepare for another possessive and preening Sauron, and a Galadriel just starting to come to terms with what she’s gotten herself into. Where they go from here, I don’t know, but I’m excited to find out.

WIP, Explicit

Read the story.

Follow the author on Tumblr and AO3.

+++

The Can't Stop Consuming No Matter What Time It Is Fic: made of skin by AlterMortem

What you need to know going in:

It’s the Severance AU! If you’re unfamiliar with the Apple TV show, oh boy, definitely add that to your list — but even if you aren’t, while seeing it does provide helpful context, you can definitely still enjoy this mind-bender of a story, which sees Galadriel voluntarily becoming “severed” to solve the mystery surrounding her brother Finrod’s death. In other words, there are two Galadriels—who she is at work, and who she is at home… and neither have the freedom or autonomy she thinks she does, particularly once she meets Halbrand, her supervisor at Lindon Industries. As a fan of the show and trippy, sci-fi (ish) fare, I binged the heck out of this this week after hearing amazing things and it did NOT disappoint. Equal parts engrossing, electric, and unnerving.

WIP, Explicit

Read the story.

Follow the author on Twitter and AO3.

+++

🤩🤩🤩

Me at all these fics:

Don’t see your story on this list yet? Keyword: yet. Please don’t fret! I can only recommend so many each week, but I am always looking for more stuff to read, share, and generally shower with love, so please feel free to reply with your own fics or your personal faves. I have plenty more to recommend… ❤️

Until next week!

[twistxdcrafts]

biography; the beekeeper & the candle maker.

aesthetic | family history | relationships | wanted connections | prompts

walking through the picturesque streets of cardinal hill, you find beaumont proctor, the 43 year old beekeeper & candle maker originally from cardinal hill, washington. living alongside them in such a small town, you know that they're generous and moody, but what you might not know is that they are a human, and that they’re hiding something… ― lee pace, homosexual, cis male, and he/him.

i. details

full name: beaumont alexander proctor nickname(s): beau (most common), monty (very rare, hates it) age: 43 years old date of birth: 21st february, 1947 place of birth: cardinal hill, washington residential area: lower cardinal gender: cis male pronouns: he/him sexuality: homosexual martial status: single occupation: beekeeper, candle maker, artisan business owner

ii. appearance

faceclaim: lee pace   hair: warm brunette, wavy, short back and sides, long on top  eyes: hazel with green facial hair: stubble to short beard, shave and repeat height: 196cm | 6'5  body type: tall, lean, athletic, strong from regular exercise 

iii. personality

personality type: infp | the mediator  moral alignment:  neutral good - true neutral astrology: pisces sun, pisces moon, scorpio rising positive traits: generous, creative, resourceful, determined, passionate, charismatic, energetic, thoughtful, romantic, observant, intelligent negative traits: moody, escapist, closed-off, reckless, stubborn, emotional, sensitive, impulsive, self-critical, jealous

interests: beekeeping, candle making, soap making, botany, entomology, herbal medicine, animal husbandry, vegetable & herb growing, literature, poetry, carpentry and woodworking, interior decorating, renovation, refurbishment, fishing, foraging, cooking, hiking, swimming.

education: bachelor's degree in agriculture & animal husbandry, with minors in entomology and botany

vi. biography

trigger & content warnings: fire, several deaths, mentions of alcohol and drugs.

1947 - 1964 from birth to age 17 years old

born on february 21st 1947, beaumont is the third child out of four, from parents beatrice and lloyd proctor. named after his father's grandfather, beaumont is a member of the 13th generation directly descended from john and elizabeth proctor, the famously accused of the salem, massachusetts witch trials. as it happens, neither john nor elizabeth were a witch, but their son, john proctor the third, in a twist of fate, went on to marry one, mary blackwood.

the proctor's had a long, strong bloodline of witches, but beau was the only one out of his four siblings who wasn't born a witch. despite his parents' best efforts, he felt ostracized from his family. while his siblings magic manifested early, and were celebrated, beau was met with expectant gazes that turned to quiet disappointment when he reached 15 years old, and it was clear he had no magic. three children with quickly developing magical abilities needed guidance and their witch education took presidence. beau, not wanting to disappoint his parent's any more, tried his hardest but even he felt his human accomplishments - an ace student, piano, the swim team, community involvement, a charming wit - became overlooked and sidelined.

he even took on his own independent witch education - studying botany, herbology, astrology, herbal medicine and non-magical witch skills - was brushed aside, and a foolish pursuit in comparison to his magically talented siblings. still, he refused to give up and maintained his hard work... until the night of the old mill fire.

a classic tale of teenage truancy turned tragedy, beau and his closest friend, charles, were messing around in the old mill, long abandoned and closed to the public. somehow, a fire started, and the boys became trapped. beau managed to escape, dragging an unconscious charlie with him, but the other boy tragically died in the hospital from his extensive injuries.

beau, crippled by grief and guilt, became a shell of his former self, moving through life like a ghost. in a few months, he dropped out of high school and started acting out, with alcohol, drugs and general misbehaviour. his parents didn't know what to do, trying to protect their family name and their other children, but their salvation came in the form of a letter. earl, lloyd proctor's non-witch brother, reached out to beau. his uncle's kind and empathetic words reached him, and beau left a note, packed a bag and took enough money to get himself across the country to salem, massachusetts. his uncle took him in, and it turned beau's life around.

1964 - 1972 ages 17 to 25 years old

there, in the place where his ancestors had left and his uncle had moved to, he started to heal from his grief and his guilt. the nightmares he'd had started to happen less and less, and his uncle let him help out on his land. he taught beau how to look after chickens, goats, and bees. he gave the young man a reason to get out of bed in the morning. beau wanted to become his apprentice, but his uncle made him promise to go back and graduate from high school. beau agreed, enrolling two years behind his classmates, but determined to graduate. he worked hard and achieved good grades, considering his circumstances.

his only setback was the sudden and tragic death of his brother, jonathan. the oldest proctor child, although he wasn't the heir, he was greatly loved by his family, and he left behind a family of his own of three daughters with lilian prior. beau returned to cardinal hills for the funeral. he thought he should return for good, but he could see in their grief that his family were even more distant from him, and he had come to see his uncle and the farm in salem as his salvation. and so, he returned to massachusetts.

as promised, his uncle took beau on as his apprentice, learning to become a bee keeper and a candle maker. however, he saw his nephew's further potential, and encouraged him to apply for college. beau was unsure, having lost his confidence and his ambition, but he applied to make him uncle proud. he did not succeed, but was invited to join a summer programme at harvard university. knowing it could be the closest he'd ever get to attending the ivy league school, beau attended, and his hard work there paid off, when he was granted a late-acceptance to a local community college near salem. he studied many subjects - european and american history, entomology, botany, animal husbandry and eventually graduated with a bachelor's degree in agriculture. all the while, he continued to work as his uncle's apprentice and farmhand. after graduation, beau spent another year with his uncle.

1972 - 1976 ages 25 to 29 years old

since his moving to salem, beau had been working to restore the relationship with his family, through letters and bi-annual visits to cardinal hills. he still felt very much like an outsider but had grown especially close to his two sisters. his youngest sister, mary-elizabeth, the baby of the family, expressed a desire to attend university in england, where their bloodline had originally come from. their parents were anxious at the idea, but beau offered to go with them and look after them. he did have his own curiosity to explore their family history and english beekeeping, but the young man had itchy feet and wanted to go on his own adventure.

whilst living in england, just south of london in the county of kent, beau began working as a beekeeper and vegetable gardener on the country estate belonging to aurelius 'grey' hawthorne. a cold, aloof young man, the same age as beau, but with so much more resting on his handsome shoulders. slowly but surely, the two bonded. grey introduced beau to his passion, horses, whilst showing a quiet interest in beau's passion, bees. they tested and challenged each other, and eventually fell into a slow-burning passion. they became lovers, but grey broke it off before beau left england.

1976 - 1979 ages 29 to 32 years old

after four years, beau returned to america, and came back to work with his uncle as a business partner and equal with his own unique knowledge and experience. two years after his return, his uncle died unexpectedly. beau organised his funeral, and following his uncle's wishes, spread half his ashes on the farm in salem, and he would take the other half back to cardinal hills. he continued his uncle's business, but six months after his uncle's funeral, beau's grandparents would die within a week of each other. he came back to cardinal hills to attend their funeral and the ascension of his mother as the family's matriarch. while he was visiting, beau's parents asked him to return to cardinal hills, wanting the family to close ranks. after thinking about it, beau decided to relocate the business and return to his hometown. he began the process of selling his uncle's farm and either selling, rehoming or moving his livestock with him.

1979 - 1990 (present) ages 32 to 43 years old

following his return, beau originally rented a cottage with a little land where he could keep his beehives, his chickens and his goats. he had already established contacts in cardinal hills to sell his wares even when he was across the country in salem, but he had ambitions to build. his products were of recognised good quality, and even his parents recognised his potential. his life looked very different than they imagined, but he was finding his valued place in the witch world despite his lack of magic. they seemed to quietly acknowledge the lack of recognition and support they'd given to beau early in life and wanted to make up for lost time. they offered him a gift of money - he'd worked hard all of his life and gotten back on his feet despite tragedy - but beau made them a deal. like his siblings, he would take a gift contribution towards a home, but the rest of the money would act as an interest-free business loan and he would pay them back gradually.

with the money, beau bought an old farmhouse, and over time restored it into his home and developed the surrounding land into the small farm it is today. over the last decade, he has become the top honey and candle supplier for witches in cardinal hills, and an artisan good supplier for the human population. his business has developed to produce honey, beeswax both raw and refined, royal jelly, candles and soap. although he doesn't have a traditional store, he's a regular vendor at local artisanal and farmer's markets. his edible produce, including honey, apple sauce and honey lavender cake has won at the cardinal hills town show.

his life in cardinal hills has been relatively peaceful. he dated nicholas stone for almost a year until they broke up roughly six months ago. now, the nightmares he's been having have shaken him up, and he wonders if something is haunting him from years ago...

[aggressivenesswhilecrying]

Dante, do you like that slow burn?

Summery:

Ren and martyn are the final two, all their allies and enemies are dead. And on the black heart alter, ren and martyn stand, axe and sword in hand.

Martyns entire life revoles around his king, he knows ren better than he knows himself. And he knows ren isn't made for spring. And well. Martyn will always follow were his king goes.

TW!! MAIN CHARACTER DEATH, HURT NO COMFORT, VIOLENCE!!

Beta read and edited!!

(This is for day one of treebark week, prompt flower/frost!!)

The air is turning warm finally in dogwarts, and the two who rule over it stand on th black heart altar. The king and his hand. Winter has finally passed, and ice and snow are melting away to reveal green grass. The trees are decorated in blossoms, and birds are singing happily. The air tastes like pollen in ren and martyn’s mouths.

Red winter has passed. And spring has come.

And yet there is still red decorating the ground. Poppies burst from the ground, and the tops of beetroots. Red winter has passed and yet a cardinal sits proudly in the tree overhead. Tilting its head as it gazes at the two. Wonder in its sound.

Spring is here, and the light and growth are returning to dogwarts in every way they possibly can.

And there are only two left. Two stand on the ruined earth. They won. It’s, well, it’s almost over. They have almost done it. Soon, there will be nothing but whispers of their lives in these abandoned walls. Ren's ears are low, his sunglasses discarded on the ground, tail between his legs. His hair is matted, and his crown long since gone. His cape curled up at his feet, and Martyn wants to weep. His classic green hoodie is stained brown, red having soaked in. The time is pink now, it’s green, it’s beautiful and alive, life takes over the corpses of their enemies. And yet here two dead men walking are. They aren't made for the gentle spring.

They made the winter with their bare hands, it’s far too late for them to bloom into spring.

Martyn can feel his torn jean shorts against his legs. His sandals painfully digging into his feet, the red winter axe in his hand held tight. He can feel the shaking of despair traveling up his spine. It leaves him feeling breathless and his knee’s shaking.

No matter how gentle the air is, he can't seem to breathe right. He feels sick to his stomach.

Death game. It’s in the name. Everyone dies. Everyone kills each other. Teams are never meant to last here. No. They rot, and fall away like old wood. Lasting for the moment, but after a while, after rain, it always rots away, it always opens up to a hole.

Death game.

They have to kill each other. After all this time they have to tear their weapons through beautiful, loved skin. Skin they grew to worship. Kisses whispered prayers late at night during the beginning of the end. The skin of those they love so deeply. The skin they cared for in the deepest parts of their souls, the skin they both vowed to try to keep safe from harm.

The ax falls from martyn’s hand, and he lets out an ugly sob, back shaking as he loses even more breath in his air from his lungs, he brings the balls of his hands to his eyes each, voice raw as tears start to run down his face, slowly he hears the sound of ren dropping his own weapon, and it’s slow, hesitant even, before ren is running, desperate to get to martyn.

Steps once slow, now quick and rushed as there is no longer any space between them, ren clawing, latching onto martyn, claw like nails digging into clothing, and almost skin as he tugs martyn to his chest. His own breathing is shaky. And his own tears coming to his eyes, there is no space between them to even breathe as he holds martyn like his life depends on it.

If anything Ren is safer away from martyn, but at this point, they don't even care.

“Gods- i- fuck ren, i dont want to, i dont want to do this..!!'' Martyn's voice is a wet scream near the end as he curls into the rough and worn fabric, tears falling like a waterfall, soaking into ren clothing. Rens head settles on top of martyns own, and the king shakes and hiccups, his own tears falling into martyn’s hair, it’s almost nice to know that ren is feeling the same way martyn is right now, just a little bit of reassurance, a “maybe he loves me too, maybe it was true.” but Martyn knows it was. Martyn knows how honest Ren is, and he could not have faked that long, looked into Martyn's eyes, and lied for that long. He knows Ren loved him. And he loves Ren the same. Of course he does. How could he not?

He loves Ren with everything he is. He loves Ren with everything in his soul. He has given his life to ren, every single life. He has listened to every single command ren has ever dished out. He has given everything to ren, loved ren like how someone would love a prayer. It’s all their wishes, dreams, deepest fears. It’s everything they are, is only a few words. Or in this case, one man.

“I don't want to either..”

The silly accent is dropped of ren shivers against martyn, hand tangling into his hair as he holds on like his life depends on it. Like it's his entire life on the line. And he cries. Ren lets out a deep sob, and he cries. Full of love for martyn, love for the home they built. And hate, hate for the situation and how he cant do anything to change their fate.

He can't fix anything, this is the end after all.

Martyn tilts his head up just barely, looking at Ren with tear filled eyes. And he makes a decision as he looks at ren. He makes a decision he could never take back.

He meets Ren's eyes, and for one final moment, one moment of love, he whispers the words he’s meant for ages, in reality, it has only been maybe 8 weeks, but they mean so much more than he’s willing to admit. And he kisses ren.

His king's lips are chapped and scratches against his painfully, but he doesn't so much as care about how it hurts, no, he focuses on the way Ren sobs into his lips. How his grip tightens on martyn. How everything feels like it’s crashing in. He lets himself enjoy it, just for a moment, a moment of peace, of happiness. A moment of love in the end.

Martyn couldn't tell you how long they spent like that, desperate for every moment they can get, holding onto each other lips pressed against each other, breath stolen in these moment, and tears shed, they could have spent hours like that for all they knew, they could have spent years holding each other and it wouldn't have made any difference to them. Cuz in the end they still pull away, they still separate, and they still know what has to happen. There is no other option, no other choice, no other way out.

And so, they get into fighting stances on either side of the altar, they leave the sentimental weapons on the side, and they weep oh so openly. As they prepare to fight, to kill each other in cold blood on the altar that means oh so much to them, they raise their fists, getting ready, a sob racks through ren, he leaves his sunglasses off, and red eyes hold onto red eyes, as they wish, and pray this wasn't the way it ends.

The first hit is thrown by Martyn, because he knows Ren won't take it, he knows Ren won't throw it, so he does. Martyn hears his fist connect with Ren's face, he doesn't see exactly where, but he can feel it through his entire arm.

Like a racing fire up his body, the bloodlust of being red starts to cloud his mind. He feels the fog fill his mind. But he knows he won't win. He knows it. And so he lets Ren take the next, he gives the act of missing as Ren takes another. Martyn lets it happen, because he’s just the king's hand, his role is to give everything to his king, his lord. It’s his job to let Ren take swing, after swing. It’s his job to fall to his knees, and even further as Ren doesn't stop. The redness in his eyes near glowing as he throws hit, after hit.

Martyns face isn't right, and the humid air leaves him feeling sticky. Ren does not relent, even as martyn face turns into some shape it was not supposed to be before, as it no longer looks like martyn, it doesn't even look human to some degree, no, he can't see anymore. Martyn can't see, and he isn't able to talk right, but try as he might, he whispers the words, over, and over, and over again. Broken prayers, to the god that is harming him, in a voice that it can't even hear. Broken and sorrowful declarations to the man he deems his god. To the man he devoted every whim of his life to.

Declarations of love. Of home. Of everything he can say. But Ren will never hear them, as Martyn's voice is drowned out by the blood that fills his mouth. His world is spinning, and he promises that it’s all rens, but all ren can hear is painful gurgling. All Ren is able to feel is shame. All that is there, is martyns bloodied body on the ground below him.

All that remains is a man made god, sobbing at his lover's feet. All that remains is a body that drifts off into dust in the wind. And a man with bloodied fists crying over a pool of red. Whispering his own prayers, and sorrows, and his own declarations of how if the gods aren't cruel, then maybe they will get another shot at this, another life time together, another maybe, and another please, and another im sorry. And everything he can give to the space that once hosted martyn. Another i love you, maybe he deserves this. To lose a lover he held so close, maybe he did something, in some other life, to be the sole survivor in such a painful way.

Ren stumbles over his feet, reaching, begging his arms to grab onto the sword. Praying that as he thrusts the blade into his chest, that him and martyn can be somewhere else, at another time. Maybe they could have lived in a small cottage on the hill, maybe their story doesn't always end in red and death, maybe they mold themselves for spring.

[novankenn]

Reluctant Hero?

= Thirty-One = (Chapter List)

Team JNC moved to an isolated table with their breakfast trays. Nora and Cardin took the seats across from Jaune, and the trio settled in for breakfast.

Jaune: (Between mouthfuls) So firstly we are going into Vale.

Nora: (Swallowing a rather large bite of pancakes) Why?

Jaune: I need some stuff from the Classic, and you two need a new wardrobe. Preferable stain resistant.

Cardin: (Taking a sip of coffee) We're going clothes shopping?

Jaune: Yes.

Cardin: Why? I mean, we already have combat outfits.

Jaune: The skirt.

Nora: What's wrong with my skirt?

Jaune: Besides that, it's impractical?

Nora: (Eyes narrow)Yes.

Jaune: The wrong move and you'll be flashing everyone your panties...

Nora: I wear boy shorts.

Jaune: And it offers no protection... to your nether region.

Nora: I don't understand that statement. It's huntress quality.

Jaune: You don't understand. If you get knocked down, it won't prevent (makes a whistling sound and a hand gesture with his index finger going up into the air.)

Nora: Huh?

Cardin: Seriously? They would do that?

Jaune: They would. It has happened before, up at the Cabin. It happened to... Kelly.

Cardin: That's brutal and disturbing.

Nora: I still...

Cardin: You definitely need to lose the skirt.

Nora: Why?

Jaune: You need to protect your cooch. (Nora's face goes pale) Because they will try. Believe me, they will. (Swallows the last bite of his breakfast.) And both of you need backups.

Nora: I don't...

Jaune: Listen. Who here has fought these things before?

Nora/Cardin: You.

Jaune: Damn right. So if I tell you, you need backups, you need backups. Deadites can be tricky, and they have disarmed me before, so you both need something extra just in case that happens to you.

Cardin: Okay, so what do you suggest?

Jaune: Both of you should at least carry like a machete or something similar. Something you can lop heads or limbs off with. You (points at Cardin with his fork) could use a ranged option, as well.

Cardin: Really? I get the knife, but a gun as well?

Jaune: If we get rushed by a pack or horde, the more we can take down without having to start swinging weapons around, the better chances we have to survive. It doesn't have to be fancy, just effective. You (Points to Nora) all ready have a good ranged option, but you need to adjust. Less smoke, more boom.

Nora: I think I can manage that.

Jaune: Good finish up, and then we hit Vale.

/==/ 45 Minutes Later - Vale /==/

Cardin: What the hell is this?

Jaune: (Petting the top of his yellow car) This is the Classic, the Delta 88. This baby and I go a long way back, and she's gotten me out of more than one scrape.

Cardin: It looks like a pile of... Omph

Nora: (Withdrawing her elbow from Cardin's gut) Don't.

Cardin: Why... oh... okay.

They both watch as Jaune gently runs his hands over the roof and hood of his car, while whispering so low they couldn't hear what he was saying.

Cardin: So what's first?

Jaune: Huh? What?

Nora: Clothes or weapons first?

Jaune: Clothes.

[simshousewindsor]

KINGS CITY, San Myshuno (SNN) - - Queen Katherine I and Prince Rainier had an audience with Pope Francis XVI at the Vatisim on Thursday. The pope expressed his “deepest personal esteem” for the queen for bearing “the weight of such vast responsibilities with so much simplicity and dignity.”

Francis Benedict XVI, the Holy Pope, is Chief Pastor of the worldwide Cathlosim Church and Head of The State of King’s City in San Myshuno. It was the first time Queen Katherine met Pope Francis and she took with her on the plane home gifts for the royal children. Pope Francis also handed the queen a precious stone brooch with a cross on it.

His late Majesty King George I visited the pope during an informal visit the month before his passing.

Queen Katherine was invited for a formal visit and was greeted by Dean of the College of Cardinals, Abraham Criste, one of three Cardinal bishops.

Nathan Banks, Windenburg's ambassador to the Holy See, described the visit as a "reaffirmation" of the ties between the Holy See and the UK, noting that it was taking place in the centenary year of the formal re-establishment of diplomatic relations between the two.

However, the visit was not without its potential tensions. Ronald Jacobs, a papal expert at the University of Reading, said: "Thursday's meeting comes at a time when, on the surface, relations between the Cathlosim church and the Church of Windenburg are at an all-time high. But dig a little deeper and issues arise."

He singled out the C of W's ordination of female priests and push for female bishops. Another issue that some said could have set the two heads of state on a collision course is the status of the Manushkin Islands, the Windenburg territory in the Simmy Channel over which Windenburg and Mt Komorebi went to war in 1979.

Queen Katherine (wearing Princess Amelia's Fife Fringe tiara, Queen Lara-Leigh's 4-strand pearl necklace, the Order of the Garter, and the Royal Family Order of King George I) and the Prince consort (in the Order of the Garter) joined Cardinal Criste and the other two Cardinal bishops, Walter Tesmond and Luke Nicholas, for a photo op in front of the Vatisim.

Breaking from tradition, the Camerlengo, Benjamin Carmichael III was among the Cardinal bishops greeting the queen.

The Vatisim has a dress code - those visiting cannot wear low-cut or sleeveless dresses, miniskirts, shorts and hats. Black lace is customary when visiting the Pope and Queen Katherine stayed with tradition rewearing the classic “Till Death Do Us Part” dress.

On their website it states: 'The Vatisim is an independent state in which the Catholisim Church is based and imposes its dress rules throughout the city.

'The clothing required is modest and requires for respect of the sacredness of the institutions the coverage of certain areas of the body.'

Before a private audience, the queen gave the pope a hamper of what the Vatisim said was "jams and drinks" produced on lands owned by the royal family. One of the drinks was a bottle of whiskey from Windsor Vineyard.

As a pair, the queen and the pope are leaders to millions of sims around the world.

The pope did not attend His late Majesty's funeral and is not confirmed to attend Her Majesty's coronation in May.

While in San Myshuno, the Queen is also scheduled to meet Henry Myers, 4th Earl of Stafford. Myers is head of one of the five noble families in Windenburg, a fourth-generation homesteader and devoted father. Lord Henry controls the largest contiguous ranch in Windenburg - the Stafford Myers Ranch.