#Cardinal Classic Short

[happywebdesign]

CC Co.

[cloudweinbergii]

My mom might be coming to Tumblr. She likes sports, I don't. If you have any suggestions for tags or blogs for her let me know. She also likes books, and actively complains about sex scenes.

[deadpresidents]

Can you recommend any books on conclaves to elect popes?

Yes, I can!

•The Triple Crown: An Account of the Papal Conclaves from the Fifteenth Century to Modern Times (BOOK) by Valerie Pirie Even though this book was originally published in 1935 (the edition I have is the updated 1965 version), it is a great look at each of the conclaves from the election of Pope Callixtus III in 1455 to Pope Leo XIII in 1878. Unlike a lot of older books, the Triple Crown is a really easy read and one that you can breeze through while learning a lot about 400+ years of papal elections. And while I'm old-fashioned and need to actually have a physical copy of a book in order to read it, Pirie's entire book is actually available online to read for free at this website.

•Passing the Keys: Modern Cardinals, Conclaves, and the Election of the Next Pope (BOOK) by Francis A. Burkle-Young Originally published in 1999, Passing the Keys takes a look at more modern conclaves than The Triple Crown. In fact, Burkle-Young's book picks up where Pirie's book ends -- with short histories of the conclaves of 1878 (Pope Leo XIII), 1903 (Pope Pius X), 1914 (Pope Benedict XV), and 1922 (Pope Pius XI). Then the book takes an in-depth look at the conclaves of 1939 (Pope Pius XII), 1958 (Pope John XXIII), 1963 (Pope Paul VI), August 1978 (Pope John Paul I), and October 1978 (Pope John Paul II).

•The Popes of Avignon: A Century in Exile (BOOK) by Edwin Mullins, and Avignon and Its Papacy, 1309-1417: Popes, Institutions, and Society (BOOK | KINDLE) by Joëlle Rollo-Koster While not solely about conclaves, these two books are solid histories on the Avignon Papacy, a period during the Fourteenth Century when over a half-dozen Popes (all French) were elected in and ruled from France due to pressure and influence from various French monarchs.

•The Year of Three Popes (BOOK) by Peter Hebblethwaite A fascinating look at the two conclaves and three popes of 1978 by one of the great papal historians. Hebblethwaite covers the death of Pope Paul VI and conclave of August 1978, which resulted in the election of Albino Luciani as Pope John Paul I. And then, after just 33 days, the world was stunned by the sudden death of John Paul I, so the College of Cardinals had to return to Rome and hold yet another conclave, leading to the election in October 1978 of Karol Wojtyla of Poland as Pope John Paul II, the first non-Italian Pope in 455 years.

•The Making of the Popes 1978: The Politics of Intrigue in the Vatican (BOOK) and The Making of the Pope 2005 (BOOK) by Father Andrew M. Greeley In the same vein as Theodore White's classic Making of the President series, Catholic priest and historian Father Andrew M. Greeley wrote two richly-detailed accounts of modern conclaves. The Making of the Popes 1978 tells the story of the two conclaves in August and October 1978 following the deaths of Pope Paul VI and Pope John Paul I respectively. The Making of the Pope 2005 looks at the death of Pope John Paul II and the conclaves which elected Joseph Ratzinger as Pope Benedict XVI.

[book-of-forbidden-knowledge]

Simple LBRP for Hellenic Pagans

The Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram (LBRP) is an occultist's bread-and-butter. It's a banishing spell meant to purify the space at the beginning of every rite. It comes from the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn's tradition of ceremonial magic.

The standard version is very Abrahamic, but it's a simple framework that can easily be modified. If you have a Wiccan background, you'll be familiar with the Circle Casting, which is a version of it. The “before me, behind me” formula is also genuinely ancient — it shows up in the Greek Magical Papyri (PDM xiv. 239-95) and in Babylonian magical texts. I'm not comfortable using the Abrahamic version, and I'm not really comfortable with the Wiccan version either, so I thought, why not create a Hellenic version?

There are a couple already in existence. Here's Israel Regardie's version. There's some things I like about this, but his Greek version of the Qabalistic Cross literally just translates the last line from the Lord's Prayer into Greek. IMHO no pagan rite should begin with that, in any language. And the names he chooses for the "before me, behind me" feel inconsistent. Then there's the John Opsopaus' version, the "Olympic LBRP." I like this one better than Regardie’s version, because it seems to be an actual adaptation of the LBRP and not just a translation of it. But it's very long-winded. It includes a lot of complicated visualizations, which are worth doing once, but I don't think they're necessary at the beginning of every ritual. I'd personally prefer something more streamlined.

Then there's this Orphic version by Ariadne Rainbird. There's things I like about this one, too. One interesting thing I learned from it is that, in the Pythagorean tradition, the Pentagram is called "Hygeia," which means "health" or "wholeness." The letters of the word in Greek act as an acronym for the five elements: Y (Hudor, Water) Γ (Ge, Earth), I (Heiron, idea/spirit), EI (Heile, Heat), A (Aer, Air). How convenient is that!

Pythagorean pentagram with the letters of "HYGEIA" arranged at its points (counterclockwise from top).

But again, the Orphic version is long-winded. As much as I love the Olympians, having a *twelve-*point circle casting is a little much. The advantage is that you can evoke all the Olympians without having to shoehorn them into four points, and it makes sense to do if you already evoke each of the Olympians separately at the beginning of every ritual… but I don’t have the patience for that as part of a quick and low-effort banishing rite. (I also don’t know what most of the words used to greet them mean, and I would struggle to memorize them. The less memorization, the better.)

So, being the lazy occultist that I am, I developed this short and sweet version. The “Pneuma, Psyche, Nous, Soma” is taken from Israel Regardie’s version, but the rest is my own adaptation:

Simple Hellenic LBRP

[I'm skipping the Qabalistic Cross entirely. I can't think of a way to adapt it, and you're basically doing the same thing three times anyway.]

Face East. Trace a pentagram in the air with your wand or athame, intone “AITHER.” Thrust your wand/athame through the pentagram and say “Pneuma” (noo-mah)

Face South. Trace a pentagram in the air, intone “PHANES.” Thrust your wand/athame through the pentagram and say “Psyche”

Face West. Trace a pentagram in the air, intone “OKEANOS.” Thrust your wand/athame through the pentagram and say “Nous.”

Face North. Trace a pentagram in the air, intone “GE.” Thrust your athame or index finger through the pentagram and say “Soma.”

Stand and face east. Say, “HERA before me, POSEIDON behind me, HESTIA at my right hand, DEMETER at my left hand, ZEUS above me, HAIDES below me, DIONYSOS within me. For about me flames the Pentagram, HYGEIA.”

___

Feel free to take this format and substitute whatever divine names you like! Traditionally, each cardinal direction corresponds to a Classical element: East to Air, South to Fire, West to Water, and North to Earth. So, you may want to pick names that work with those correspondences.

I chose the names of four Protogenoi who embody those elements most directly. Aither is both the air and the literal substance of Heaven, the "astral light" or ethereal matter out of which gods are made. Phanes is the progenitor and the embodiment of life-force, who is usually described as being made of light or fire. Okeanos is the primordial waters that encircle the world, the birthplace of the gods in the Homeric conception. And finally Gaia is the earth we're standing on, the foundation of the material plane. So, by invoking these forces, I surround myself with the world in its most primeval state. I kept Regardie's use of “Pneuma, Psyche, Nous, Soma," which means “spirit, soul, mind, body.”

For the "before me, behind me" portion, I used the names of the six Children of Kronos, arranged according to their elemental correspondences. They represent all the same forces a few steps down on the Platonic ladder (more coalesced): Hera is the shining Queen of Heaven, and also the queen of the Air and all that moves within it. Hestia is the queen of Fire and governs its use during ritual, conducting prayers and offerings to the gods through it. Poseidon is the king of Water and the bounty of the sea. Demeter is the queen of Earth and the bounty of the land. The remaining two Children of Kronos are Zeus and Hades, who are both the Lord of the Universe in his (current) celestial and chthonic aspects: as above, so below. Finally, I added "Dionysus within," for a particularly Orphic flair, and because he's personally significant to me.

From here, you can make it as complicated as you like, adding visualizations, or voces magicae, or chanting the Ancient Greek vowels, etc. The great thing about this ritual is how versatile it is. And I do recommend using it! It clears the space of negative influences, it puts you in the right mindset for ritual, and I've found that it helps to calm me down when I'm anxious. Even if you don't want to use this format, having an easy way to invoke the gods while dispelling bad stuff is recommended.

[isabelawritesthings]

Recommending series and films about the Tudor Dynasty in chronological order

1. THE WHITE PRINCESS (Beginning of the reign of King Henry VII)

2. THE SPANISH PRINCESS (continuation of TWP, tells the story about Queen Catherine of Aragon, first wife of King Henry VIII)

3. THE TUDORS (starts in the early years of King Henry VIII's reign and ends at the end of his life, tells the story of important politicians of his reign such as Cardinal Wolsey, Thomas More and Thomas Cromwell, as well as obviously talking about his six wives)

4. BECOMING ELIZABETH (tells of the younger years of Queen Elizabeth I during the reign of her half-brother, King Edward VI)

5. LADY JANE (Helena Bonham Carter stars in this 1986 film, covering the short reign of Lady Jane Grey, who succeeded King Edward VI shortly after his death from tuberculosis)

6. ELIZABETH (A classic in Cate Blanchett's career, it tells the story of the reign of Queen Elizabeth I)

7. ELIZABETH: THE GOLDEN AGE (Sequel to 1998's Elizabeth, tells of the threats Elizabeth faced during her reign, including Mary Stuart's claim to the English throne)

OTHER RECOMMENDATIONS

1. THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL (It tells the story of sisters Mary and Anne Boleyn, both lovers of King Henry VIII, Anne would become Henry's second wife and mother of Elizabeth I)

2. WOLF HALL (The story is told from the point of view of Lord Chancellor Thomas Cromwell, during the tumultuous divorce of Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon, as well as his marriage to Anne Boleyn.

3. MY LADY JANE (A dystopian fantasy about Lady Jane Grey, but fun to watch)

4. REIGN (It focuses mainly on the dispute between Elizabeth I and Mary Stuart for the English throne)

Keep in mind that most of these series and films are not completely faithful to historical facts, but still maintain most of the events.

[wheelsgoroundincircles]

1981 Cadillac Evolution I

Fashion Victim: The 1981-83 Pierre Cardin Evolution I

French-Italian designer Pierre Cardin found worldwide fame with his exuberant approach to women’s fashion, but the skills didn’t necessarily cross over to the automotive world. 

The creator of mod chic and the bubble dress, Pierre Cardin (1922-2020) first made his name as a ladies’ fashion designer—one who then aggressively extended his brand marketing into consumer goods of all kinds, from perfume to sunglasses and eventually, automobiles. For American Motors he designed the 1972 Cardin Javelin with its memorable neon-striped upholstery, and in 1978 he whipped up a line of specially trimmed Cadillacs. But easily the wildest of his automotive enterprises was a customized Cadillac Eldorado called the Evolution I.

Cadillac Cardin Convertible

As we can see above, the most remarkable feature of Cardin’s restyled Eldorado is its  radically extended nose, which was facilitated in part with fenders and bumpers borrowed from the Oldsmobile Toronado, the Eldo’s GM E-body sibling. It’s an odd look, especially given the front-drive E-Body’s relatively short dash-to-axle distance.

The rear end styling was rearranged in a similarly arbitrary manner, with the Eldorado’s classic vertical taillights replaced with a slim horizontal lamp assembly that spanned the width of the body. Cardin’s sales literature boasted of “30 coats of hand-rubbed lacquer” and other fineries.

1981 Cadillac Evolution I

Luxury upgrades to the interior included elaborate two-tone leather upholstery, front and rear consoles, and a Quasar video player with a Sony TV in the rear seat. Pierre Cardin Automotive originally planned to produce 300 examples of the Evoluution I, with a gold plate on the instrument panel to testify to the serial number. But reportedly, only around 100 vehicles were delivered in the 1981-83 model run, including one Hess & Eisehnart convertible conversion. One likely reason for the limited popularity, we theorize, was the price: a hefty $58,000, more than three times the cost of a standard Cadillac Eldorado. As far as we know, this would be the fashion maven’s final foray into the automobile business.

Evolution I ad

[serpentinedaydreams]

Introduction! <3

Hi💚 I'm Georgiana, a Hogwarts Legacy fanfic writer new to Tumblr! I've been in the fandom on TT for a while now but wanted a place to talk with other fans and writers. You can call me Georgia, Georgie, Gia, or whatever you prefer, just no George or Jorge please. Please.

🌙

Fun facts about me:

I am a Libra sun, Aries moon, and Capricorn rising (Yes, all cardinal signs. Its rough out here.)

INFJ

Cabin 16

I love to read, but almost strictly fantasy.

I love classic rock and all things 1970s.

My top movies are Scream, Dazed and Confused, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Almost Famous, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Scooby Doo, and Barbie and the Magic of the Pegasus. In that order.

I don't watch many TV shows due to my lack of time and short attention span, but I will happily rave about The Haunting of Hill House until I die.

I loooove to chit-chat, so don't be shy about saying hello!

I am severely ADHD and can be very long winded. You can usually tell when I haven't proof-read a post because my thoughts will be scattered.

I play Hogwarts Legacy on Nintendo Switch🤧 tragic, I know. Due to the poor quality of the graphics and my inability to use mods, I unfortunately will not be able to post or include screenshots in my fics or on here. All images you see are from Pinterest, and I will ALWAYS credit each creator.

I am horrible, and I mean horrible, with technology. Do not expect my posts to look pretty. I spent the better part of an entire day fooling around with different character creators until I nearly cried, and still couldn't even get close to my idea of what Lucette looks like. So, Pinterest it is.

Photo above is by Losersandwich on Pinterest

Things to know about my work:

A Grave Endeavor - My main WIP! This is a Sebastian x MC fanfic that starts at the same place as the game, but really picks up at the beginning of sixth year. It will be mostly canon compliant until that point. I am a very slow writer, and this will be a very long story, so I am currently stockpiling my written chapters and hoping to start publishing on Ao3 and Wattpad by summer. I know Wattpad isn't well liked, but the platform is easier for some people to navigate and I want my stories to be available to all. I personally hate reading fanfics with only a few chapters published because I get impatient and lose interest when there isn't enough to get me fully invested in the story. For that reason, I am waiting until I have most of the events of the game completed so that readers can jump right into the original story that follows.

My two ships are Sebastian x MC and Ominis x Anne

I'm normally not one for crackships, but I think that Imelda and Poppy would be the cutest grumpy x sunshine couple.

I am an Imelda defender.

I hate Zenobia.

My MC is Lucette M. Graves, a half-blood orphan whose mother was a French muggle and whose father was the heir to the once noble Graves Estate, which fell from grace when he chose to marry Lucette's mother.

Lucette is sneaky, smart, outgoing, brave, kind, clever, and adventurous, but also reckless, short-sighted, materialistic, snarky, and a little vain. Her pride is her biggest setback.

Yes, I am aware that some of the listed traits stereotypically belong to other houses, but I refuse to pigeonhole a character into their house stereotype. Real people are multi-faceted and typically possess some level of aptitude for every house. Your house is more so determined by what you value most, what you ask for, and what house the Sorting Hat sees you reaching your full potential in. If it were any other way, Hermione would've been a Ravenclaw and Harry would've been a Slytherin. I refuse to let my major characters lack complexity.

Sometimes I write serious, deep scenes. Other days I want to write vibey, funny, trashy scenes. My sincerest apologies, but this story will likely feel very bipolar. I never claimed to be writing a masterpiece.

Photo of Luce is by Omnias_art on Pinterest and template is by the very talented @kiwiplaetzchen

Untitled Fantasy Novel - My debut novel I've been working on for about 2 years on and off! I'm still not very far in, as my passion lies more with my HL fan fictions, but I am determined to make sure she sees the light of day... eventually.

Imagine living in the very northernmost part of your country, with the river that marks the end of it sitting just a mile or so into the foggy, mossy forest in your back yard. The mystery? The fog gets thicker as you get closer to the treacherous, unsurvivable currents that seem to bring all who attempt to cross to their deaths. Bridges crumble before anyone can cross. The fog on the opposite bank is so thick that no one has ever seen past it.

MC - Lyra Forsythia Bram. Her favorite activity is sitting on a tree branch and daydreaming as she stares at the opposite bank. She is young, naive, and always wants to believe that people and things are good by nature. She and her neighbor, Theo, are both from wealthy families, except his, well... feels like a family. That is, until his father goes missing.

Foggy forests, brass lanterns at night, long white gowns being dragged across fresh dew, and dusty libraries full of secrets are the vibe of this one.

creator unknown

Ominis x Anne Fanfic - Last and, well, kind of the least is my untitled Anne and Ominis fic that is in its very early stages. I don't work on it too often, mostly only when I want to wallow in sadness and misery. Lots of yearning, pining, and forbidden love, all with an undertone of hopelessness. This is on the back burner for me, so who knows if or when it might be published.

One last thing I'm dying to know:

Thats all for now! I'll be sure to update when I publish. I'm so excited to meet everyone in the HL and writing communities on here. Ciao!

Xoxo, Georgiana💚

[twistedastrology]

♋cancers and rage♋

-------------------------------------------------

i just did a workout because i had way too much energy today and now im exhausted so im gonna talk abt sumn im very passionate abt while i sit on the floor and recover 😮‍💨

- 🌙 -

a pretty big observation ive made since ive been into astrology and more specifically since ive been basically reinventing it in my head is that cancers, especially cancer risings/cancer mars, have a VERY misunderstood relationship with anger.

most people ive seen have said something along the lines of cancers are crybabies and they tend to cry when they're angry or just skip anger altogether and go to the depression side of things

personally, im a cancer rising with mars conjunct my ascendant (and ofc saturn in my 1st 💞💞) and i have NEVER found this to be the case, and other cancer risings i know don't follow those stereotypes either

- ♈ -

in my experience, imagine a combination of aries energy and capricorn energy, THAT'S what cancers embody when it comes to emotion, especially rage.

i've written an entire newsletter on this and made a whole instagram post for it over at @bluedashercrafts (they're not on tumblr yet but the link takes u to their instagram!!) so i have indeed thought very in depth about this 😮‍💨

cancers can blow up like aries, but they can hold a grudge like capricorn- and if you're me and you have saturn in your 1st (in fixed fire btw 😮‍💨), you'll lean more towards the capricorn side of things in any emotion.

i personally have a massive tendency to bottle up the pain (andrageandfearthatifeeltHEPAINANDR-) until im in a safe environment to get it out (aka being alone with my earbuds in and music blasting) OR until i can't hold it in anymore and the steam gets so high pressured that it blows the lid off the fucking pot- that's when i gotta run away and isolate myself and do a workout ASAP otherwise i will likely hurt myself because there's just So Much Energy

- ♑ -

i wanna bring a couple other examples to the table so you get a better idea of what im talkin abt here-

if you're a korn enjoyer like me, you'll know the My Gift To You - Woodstock '99 performance. well the first time i saw that and it got to the "I HATE YOU- CAN'T YOU FEEL TEH PAAIN-" part, my fucking jaw dropped and i almost cried because i could not believe that i was seeing someone else exhibit the same like- Pure Unbridled Rage that i experience all the time- the kind of visceral emotion that literally makes you flail around on stage and then bang the microphone against it like 3+ times because you're trying to come back to reality like jonathan davis was-

THAT is the level I'm talking about- that is the level that is very specific to cancer placements, specifically cancer risings and cancer mars (and his mars is in a cancer degree of scorpio, so there you go)

another more well-known example would be Markiplier! if you've seen his rage game playthroughs, you'll know he throws chairs and mouses and just generally gets pissed to an ungodly extent- he's a cancer rising with his venus and sun in cancer and his mars in leo.

- 🌓 -

cancers are NOT the signs that break down crying when they experience anger, they are the ones that feel their blood boil more than aries does.

for another good example, my best friend has his mars and venus both in aries, but he's another cancer rising- whenever he gets angry, he gets VERY angry, but he doesn't have the saturn influence that i do, so his anger is much more aries-like (short fuse, louder about it and it doesn't last as long- his is more like the classic interpretation of anger issues), whereas mine is MUCH more capricorn-like (LONG fuse, WAY quieter about it but god forbid it gets loud, and it Can last a very long time)

- 🪐 -

now you might wanna ask me "why the hell do you keep saying aries and capricorn specifically", well i just explained that im not gonna lie BUT-

cancers are very aries-like because they're the CARDINAL water sign, and cardinal signs are basically just fire-coded whatever element they are- (aries is double fire, capricorn is fire-coded earth, libra is fire-coded air, and cancer is fire-coded water)

and with aries being the fire-coded fire sign, it's essentially capricorn is aries-coded earth- THAT'S why cancers can be VERY similar to aries.

as for capricorn, cancers are the sister sign to capricorn, so they'll share similar traits despite being on opposite sides of the wheel. PLUS, where fire burns itself out very quickly, water doesn't really dry out very quickly especially if there's a lot of it.

- 🌑 -

this is really just part 1 when it comes to my reinvention of cancers- ill cover their relationship with sex as opposed to scorpios in another post because i really wanna delve more into that BUT!!!

if you want more of a well-put-together post on this, go check out the ig post and newsletter i did for blue dasher crafts!!! i also dived a little more into my personal experience with the anger and catharsis i go thru being a cancer rising/mars so!!

[obrother1976]

hii would you have any book recs similar to the carnivorous lamb? just finished it recently and i literally cannot stop thinking about it......

wish i could rec u something that will hit as hard as carnivorous lamb does. but i cant. nothing can compare (in my opinion) but i can rec u some books depending on what u liked best/what u enjoyed in carnivorous lamb:

incest:

gemini by michel tournier - hard to get into but very worth it

house of incest by anais nin - short but so good u'll tear your hair out afterwards

ada or ardor: a family chronicle by vladimir nabokov - cant believe nabokov invented real love w this one

catholicism:

the sparrow by mary doria russell - book of all time & although i obv wouldn't call it a catholic book, i still think someone that liked carnivorous lamb would love this.

concerning the eccentricities of cardinal pirelli by ronald firbank - currently reading this & dont yet fully know what to make of it but its definitely interesting enough to check out.

fascism:

(bit of a disclaimer: none of these are specifically about spanish fascism. sorry. if you're really interested in the franco regime u could read george orwell's "homage to catalonia" but other than that i got nothing for u there)

fear and misery in the third reich by bertholt brecht & the resistable rise of arturo ui (also by brecht) - this is me pushing my brecht agenda (even tho these r plays and not technically books). love brecht's depictions of fascism though, esp in fear and misery

on the frontier: a melodrama in three acts by isherwood & auden - another play

death in venice by thomas mann - alright so this one's a bit tricky. its not technically about fascism (it was written in 1912) but i've seen a number of academic essays that make a case for reading it that way -> the degeneration of europe into fascism. in any case, great book, great prose and although its not actually incestuous, it v obviously plays with the theme of incest

fathers:

incest: from a "journal of love": the unexpurgated diary of anais nin - a classic.

winter of artifice by anais nin - no one got it quite like she did

mathilda by mary shelley - anon, listen to this: "I copied his last letter and read it again and again. Sometimes it made me weep; and at other [times] I repeated with transport those words,—"One day I may claim her at your hands." I was to be his consoler, his companion in after years."

dreams of clytemnestra by dacia maraini - a play again. but trust me on this one, it'll drive u insane.

mothers:

milk fed by melissa broder - actually havent read this one but my (redacted) loves it and it does sound rlly interesting (also i dont know any other books specifically about mothers... sad.)

[grigori77]

Movies of 2025 - My Pre-Summer Rundown (Part 2)

The Top Ten:

10. UNTIL DAWN

Okay, first off the bat, not being a gamer I was not at all familiar with PlayStation’s property going in, although the trailer made the premise easy enough for me to understand (and pretty interesting too). Then again, I get the impression that, given what the FILM'S about, doing a straight faithful adap would probably defeat the purpose, so if this IS different, that can't REALLY be a bad thing, can it? Anyways … Shazam director David F. Sandberg returns to the genre on which he first cut his teeth (with Lights Out and subsequently Annabelle: Creation), directing a screenplay from Gary Daubermann (The Nun and It) and Blair Butler (2022’s The Invitation) that focuses on a group of friends following the trail of one of their number who vanished a year earlier, the sister of their troubled nominal leader Max (The Girl From Plainville’s Ella Rubin), which leads them to a mysterious hotel in the middle of nowhere where things seem to be distinctly OFF. When the sun goes down they’re picked off one-by-one by a brutally efficient masked killer who finishes them all off in short order … then the day suddenly seems to reset to the moment of their arrival and they discover that, in order to escape, they have no choice but to endure an increasingly nightmarish series of persistently LETHAL supernatural encounters in order to find a means of escape ...

Taken purely in terms of a MOVIE, I enjoyed this A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT. The premise is a banger, a brilliant way of taking a bunch of the classic 80s slasher AND supernatural horror tropes and doing something fresh and exciting with them (a la Cabin In the Woods, a film which, in my opinion, it stands up impressively well in comparison to), and the execution rewardingly lives up to the very strong potential. It's unpredictable enough to hold our attention, and while YES, there are some dumb choices made by some of the characters, they fall comfortably into the best horror trope argument of "these people don't actually KNOW they're in a horror movie", so they’re easy to forgive. Sometimes it even turns a few of these into a virtue, and I loved when one character, faced with something particularly ominous, quite rightly NOPES RIGHT OUT, which is one of the moments that TRULY won my heart.

The cast are all very pretty, very strong and very game for what they were clearly put through during the shoot, by and large playing well-rounded and complex, nuanced characters, and thankfully NONE of them commit the cardinal horror movie sin of being either irritating or terminally unlikeable. Peter Stormare is, just as expected, having the absolute time of his life in a deliciously hammy role, and I thoroughly enjoyed getting to see my girl Odessa A'zion get to play another meaty horror role after I completely fell in love with her on 2022's Hellraiser. I especially loved that she wasn't the classic dumb slut I feared they might have been setting her up as, instead turning out to be pretty smart, resilient, resourceful and loyal, but in a realistically fallible way, and even got to be a proper badass on more than one occasion.

There are some genuinely brilliant ideas in this, the creature and production designs are very strong and frequently gorgeous in a really nasty way, and I was VERY thankful for their predominantly practical execution. I WAS a little miffed we never got a werewolf in the end despite the hint, but I guess we can't have everything ... I was also EXTREMELY impressed with the way the film managed to resist the danger of taking the timeloop element and making it too repetitive, so the tight pace doesn't suffer and the film even manages to have cheeky fun with some of the more out-there elements without sacrificing its powerful sense of dread. Overall this is a top-notch post-modern supernatural slasher and I throughly enjoyed this whole experience. The video game adaptation hit-rate remains frustratingly low, but I'm happy to rate this as one of those rare successes.

9. BLACK BAG

As much as I admired Presence, Steven Soderbergh’s first release of 2025, on an academic level, I’ll admit it left me somewhat cold on an emotional one, and I need both to hit for me to really resonate with any film, but particularly with HIS work. Thankfully he had another coming out less than a month later, and THIS ONE turned out to be a hit with me in EVERY ASPECT. Black Bag is a genuinely GREAT MOVIE, worthy of counting among some of his greats. It also has the same screenwriter, David Koepp, but the two seems to be on surer ground here, delivering a wire-taut psychological thriller more akin to their similarly ingenious previous offering Kimi, weaving an effective spell of deep-seated paranoia revolving around the hunt for a double agent selling dangerous secrets in the key titular branch of MI6.

The main selling point of this film is the cast, a meaty collection of supremely classy livewire talent who all deliver top-notch performances in a succession of exquisitely written exchanges rife with double-meaning and duplicitous danger. The powerful double-threat of Michael Fassbender and Cate Blanchett is, of course, the ultimate driving force – their smouldering chemistry, while seemingly restrained, has a palpable intensity simmering deep within colouring every exchange, while the two are just as strong on an individual level as they perform an increasingly fraught dance of deception while trying to feel out the truth between them. Pierce Brosnan, meanwhlle, is clearly having a lot of fun sending up his Bond era persona, while Tom Burke, Regé-Jean Page and Naomie Harris sink their teeth into their own similarly complex characters and twisted relationship dynamics.

This is one of the most rewardingly Machiavellian spy thrillers I’ve had the pleasure to watch in a good long while, and despite the overall absence of any real ACTION there’s SO MUCH TENSION on offer throughout its splendidly tight 94 minutes that I basically spent the whole time tensed up tight and thoroughly on edge, desperate to find out what was REALLY happening. There’s so much intelligence in this, it’s genuinely smart enough to give the best of this potent genre a run for their money, a particularly idiosyncratic and uniquely offbeat piece of work that can very comfortably stands apart from most. Mostly, though, it’s a quintessential STEVEN SODERBERGH movie ...

8. HAVOC

It's been a long wait, but the patience has definitely been worthwhile because Gareth Evans is finally BACK in a big way. This essentially winds up feeling like a more expensive-looking extended episode of his Sky crime thriller series Gangs of London, albeit with a far more American bent - which is a little hilarious because the whole thing was shot in Cardiff (although you'd never know it), and granted, it's NOWHERE NEAR as good as The Raid movies, but those were SO FUCKING AWESOME we can forgive the failure in comparison, because in action cinema terms this is still BLOODY GOOD.

Tom Hardy stars as Patrick Walker, a grizzled, thoroughly BENT Homicide detective working the mean streets of an extremely grimy, crime-riddled American city at Christmas time, who becomes embroiled in an increasingly dangerous manhunt after the son (The Umbrella Academy’s Justin Cornwell) of the city’s corrupt mayor (Forest Whitaker) becomes the chief suspect in the murder of the son of a vicious Triad crime boss (Wet Season’s Yeo Yann Yann). As he uses his street-smarts and criminal connections to try and find the boy before the bad guys do, he finds himself besieged on all sides by dangerous foes, from a particularly lethal triad assassin (Michelle Waterson-Gomez) to his own even more corrupt former partners, led by the similarly brutish Vincent (Timothy Olyphant), while his only ally is his straight arrow new rookie partner Ellie (Jessie Mei Li).

After a balls-out bonkers high speed chase opening the first half of the film becomes a bit of a slowburn, finding its narrative feet while navigating a pretty overblown and unnecessarily twisty plot, but it does also introduce us to some interesting characters too, and the cast are all VERY SOLID, with Hardy definitely acting everybody else off the screen (much as we expected him to), but Mei Li makes a strong impression throughout too and it's very rewarding to finally see her get a major role to shine in now Shadow & Bone's dead in the water. Meanwhile Evans shows plenty of his characteristic visual flair across the board, so even the slower scenes still carry a strong sense of dynamism.

Then we get to the nightclub section and it all kicks off BIG TIME, and from this point on the film barely lets off the throttle before its particularly gritty climax. THIS IS, of course, what we've REALLY come here for – there are few directors who’ve mastered cinematic action to the level of Gareth Evans, he has visual storytelling skill and a mastery of action choreography like few others (rightly respected peers like Chad Stahelski, David Leitch, Timo Tjahjanto and Ilya Naishuller would be among the very few I'd really count there), and through the final hour he unleashes some of the very best controlled mayhem we're likely to see on either big OR small screens this year. This is exactly the kind of magnificently brutal balletic bloodbath we've come to expect from the man who revolutionised big screen violence in the early 2010s, a film which EASILY lives up to its extremely apt title. Here's hoping he won't leave us waiting QUITE so long for his next offering, though ...

7. NOSFERATU

So yeah … okay, fine, I’ll admit that this IS a proper MASTERPIECE of a film, I can’t deny it’s one of the most incredibly stylish, spectacularly well-written and unsettlingly unnerving horror movies I’ve ever seen, easily one of the very best VAMPIRE MOVIES I’ve ever seen, and another stone-cold TRIUMPH from writer-director Robert Eggers. If this were a purely CRITICAL review/list/whatever, I’d be putting it pretty much RIGHT AT THE TOP, and it would probably be one of the top favourites for MOVIE OF THE YEAR. It’s incredible, amazing, an absolute WORK OF ART. Problem is, this is MY FAVOURITES. I loved it, yeah, but I just didn’t LOVE it, if you will. Maybe it just felt a little TOO technically particular, or there was something else that left me a bit cold. But I just couldn’t connect with it QUITE as well as I’d like …

Even so, I would still HAPPILY sing its praises to high heaven. Like I said, this is a towering achievement, definitely the very best adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula I’ve seen to date (sorry, Coppola!), and certainly leaves previous incarnations of Nosferatu in the dust. The lion’s share of the praise must, OF COURSE, be heaped upon Lily-Rose Depp, who went ABOVE AND BEYOND in the role of Ellen Hutter, a woman psychologically torn apart by a dangerous obsession and nerve-shredding abhorrent TERROR over her deep-seated connection to an unspeakable, unholy monster. Her performance is SEARED in my mind, I can never UNSEE the incredibly unsettling things she does as she contorts herself into unnatural forms, unleashes terrifying banshee howls and guttural groans, or simply breaks our hearts with her soulful sad eyes. No-one else can touch her, and only Bill Skarsgard comes CLOSE, completely unrecognisable as the titular monster, the dread Carpathian Count Orlok, who oozes supernatural menace while, I will admit, also somehow managing to be weirdly SEXY despite being completely subsumed by one of the most hideously magnificent prosthetic make-ups I’ve EVER SEEN. Both are simply AMAZING throughout this film, but the scenes when they’re TOGETHER are so thoroughly mesmerising that everything else here kind of pales in comparison (hey, maybe THAT’S the problem).

The rest of the cast are similarly enthralling too, not a single bum-note in the whole ensemble. This might be the finest turn I’ve EVER seen Nicholas Hoult deliver, he’s incredible in this, fallible but TRYING to be a good, forthright man as Ellen’s husband Thomas, whose dangerous naivete ultimately sets the horror loose upon their world; he even manages to hold his own in his scenes with Depp and Skarsgard, although I’ll admit it’s a pretty close run thing … meanwhile Aaron Taylor-Johnson, the always reliable Ralph Ineson, Emma Corrin (Deadpool & Wolverine, A Murder At the End of the World) and a particularly enjoyably overripe Simon McBurney all offer sterling support, although they’re all left in the dust by another PRIME HAM performance from Eggers’ most consistently game collaborator, Willem Dafoe.

Like I said, from a technical standpoint this movie is genuinely incredible, probably the most astounding film we’re likely to see this year in terms of visual and auditory MAGNIFICENCE. The cinematography from Eggers’ other most reliable collaborator, Jarin Blaschke, is truly astonishing, every shot, sequence and composition a genuine moving work of ART, with their use of shadows in particular showing genuine auteur levels of inspiration, and there’s an extremely impressive lack of digital trickery on display here, from what I can tell virtually everything seems to have been achieved PRACTICALLY with in-camera effects, and this just makes the film even more AMAZING. Meanwhile the sound design is PEERLESS, often bordering on OBSCENE in its levels of unpleasantness, which coupled with the delightfully moody score from relative newcomer Robin Carolan (whose only other credit to date was The Northman) perfectly captures the uncomfortably exquisite levels of discomfiting moral DREAD that this project definitely NEEDED to reach. All round, this is an absolute TRIUMPH.

Yeah, I really should ADORE this. And I was definitely really IMPRESSED by this, it’s a hell of a cinematic achievement. There’s just something about it, something I can’t quite put my finger on, that keeps me from fully connecting with this, from genuinely giving it my whole heart. I had the same problem with The Lighthouse, that was also amazing but somehow … I don’t know, it’s probably not the FILM’s fault, just mine. I just preferred The Northman. That’s a film I love UNCONDITIONALLY ...

6. DEATH OF A UNICORN

I never bought into the whole "unicorns are pretty and nice and sweet and kind and magical" idea, I always preferred to think that REAL unicorns would be the most ferociously monstrous killing machines in the entire supernatural world. I'm so glad somebody else felt the same – this is totally my shit. Needless to say they’re the perfect monster for a deeply satirical horror comedy, and debuting writer-director Alex Scharfman has done an ASTOUNDING job of distilling this concept into a particularly potent leftfield offering from A24.

Paul Rudd and Jenna Ortega have sweet but believably brittle chemistry as Elliot and Ridley Kintner, a corporate lawyer and his daughter going through a rough patch after a recent loss, who find themselves in a tough spot after accidentally running down a mysterious beast in remote mountainous woods while travelling to meet Elliot’s employers, pompously self-absorbed Big Pharma tycoon Odell Leopold (Richard E Grant) and his similarly odious family. When they discover what the Kintners have loaded into the back of the SUV, a revolutionary magical cure-all is found, and the Leopolds begin formulating a plan to exploit it … but then they discover that the dead creature wasn’t alone, and that the rest of its herd are very dangerous and VERY angry ...

Like all the best horror movies, this eases us in but doesn't drag, taking its time to set up the situation and characters before finally settling into the FUN STUFF. Thankfully our debuting writer-director has got some real talent with writing interesting characters that actually feel organic, even in a decidedly heightened piece like this, and while there are some genuine deplorables here (Grant, Téa Leoni and Will Poulter all do a FANTASTIC job of making us thoroughly HATE them), the ones we're supposed to root for are easy enough to care about, so even if Rudd's fallible father is a bit of a drip, there’s enough good in him to help us care, while Ortega is an absolute SWEETHEART here. Meanwhile seeing these horrible rich people get killed off in particularly nasty ways is HUGE FUN all round, which is also EXACTLY what we've come for.

Going from the trailer I was concerned the unicorns themselves might look a bit clunky, but I didn't have anything to worry about. These are some SCARY ASS BEASTS, and the digital effects hold up impressively well even once we get into clear sunlight, which is a relief. They're just as vicious as I was hoping too, proper letting rip once the carnage starts, and BOY does it go off in the goriest way. Horror comedy's my favourite kind, especially when it's JET BLACK dark humour like this, and the final hour of this is just one long GAS without letting up once. This was SO MUCH FUN.

5. COMPANION

Personal sex bots have been a sci-fi trope for so long they’ve passed far beyond a joke of the genre, but even so it’s a concept that’s still ripe for compelling content if done right. Leave it to Zach Cregger, the guy who made Barbarian, to usher in what’s likely to go down as the DEFINITIVE cinematic take on the idea, producing the brash, bold, inventive and delightfully snarky feature debut of promising young writer-director Drew Hancock.

This is a BIG MOVIE born from a deceptively simple premise – Josh (Jack Quaid) and Iris (Sophie Thatcher) seem to have the perfect relationship, they’re young, sweet, good looking and OH SO VERY into each other, everything seems to be going great for them … until they go to a gathering of friends at the remote home of sleazy Russian businessman Sergey (Rupert Friend), who tries to force himself upon Iris the morning after a drunken party, and she has to defend herself. When he ends up dead everything’s turned on its head, and Iris suddenly discovers that everything she’s come to believe is a lie …

Thatcher OWNS THIS MOVIE, I’ve been avidly following her carer ever since Prospect and she’s impressed in everything I’ve seen her in to date, rightly coming to larger attention thanks to last year’s incredible Heretic, and this TOTALLY builds on that impressive breakout buzz with her best performance to date. Quaid, meanwhile, has been coming up for about the same amount of time, and this is a similarly big deal for him, although thanks to The Boys he’s definitely still the most recognisable face in this cast. To an extent he’s very much playing in his comfort zone here, but he adds some interesting new layers to his role which take things in interesting new directions, especially in the film’s surprising final act. There’s excellent support from Friend, the always reliable Harvey Guillén and Megan Suri (Never Have I Ever) too, although the most impressive turn vy far, besides the film’s phenomenal lead couple, comes from Lukas Gage (Euphoria, The White Lotus) as the sweet and dorky Patrick.

Despite its overly-familiar subject matter, this is an effortlessly inventive and endlessly surprising film, Hancock throwing a robust series of effective twists at us as the situation becomes increasingly complicated and Iris discovers what she’s truly capable of. It’s also frequently laugh-out-loud hilarious, sometimes quite adorable but also capable of some far more wickedly DARK humour, while there are some genuinely shocking moments that turn deadly serious too. As satirical sci-fi goes, this has some VERY sharp teeth, and it definitely makes you THINK, Hancock clearly intent on tackling some very challenging big ideas and posing some hard questions about the prevalence of AI in our increasingly tech-dependent society. Mostly, though, it’s just a gleefully dark but also thoroughly delicious slice of cinematic fun, less the romance you might go in expecting but far more of a stone-cold ANTI-romance. Which makes it much closer to perfect, if you ask me.

4. THE GORGE

Scott Derrickson has been responsible for the birth of some pretty hardcore horror movie franchises in his time – his major breakout came when he both wrote AND directed Blumhouse mainstay Sinister, which led to his landing the role ushering Doctor Strange to the big screen for the MCU (okay, not TECHNICALLY horror but he definitely put a lot of what he learned working in the genre to work in making THAT such a rousing success), and most recently he turned a Stephen King short story into a runaway smash hit with The Black Phone – so I was all the way in for his latest project, a fascinatingly dark sci-fi action thriller with a cracking premise. The result was my first official Top Movie of this year, I absolutely LOVE THIS FLICK, so I’m thoroughly BAFFLED with how poorly received it’s been by so much of its audience since it released on streaming. This DOES NOT deserve the hate, I think it’s AWESOME.

Miles Teller and Anya Taylor-Joy star as Levi and Drasa, two top-tier snipers from opposite sides of the East-West political divide assigned as the lone watchmen of twinned towers overlooking the titular mysterious crack in the earth somewhere in a remote wilderness, charged with making sure that whatever it is that dwells in the mist-shrouded depths never gets out to plague humanity. The two leads are both PHENOMENAL, effortlessly holding up the entire film as they take seemingly minimalist characters and crafting richly nuanced personalities for themselves, and their POWERFUL chemistry goes ALL THE WAY to make this film such a compelling, rewarding JOY to watch. I was completely invested within five minutes of their first long-distance interaction and it just got BETTER from there …

The first half of the film does a beautiful job of both building the world the story inhabits and drip-feeding the stakes as it teases the mystery of what lies below, the mostly slowburn pace nonetheless maintaining a growing tension alongside some charming organic romance as we watch our protagonists fall in love. Then the second half turns everything on its head and we find out what REALLY lies within the Gorge, and from here on the film turns into a full-blown action-packed nightmare fest fuelled by some gorgeously NASTY world-building and creature design brought to horrifically vivid life through some genuinely AMAZING effects work. Building to an enjoyably cathartic climax and scored to PERFECTION by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, this is a magnificent work of genuine cinematic ART, and in my opinion it was FAR TOO GOOD to wind up wallowing on Apple TV+ ...

3. MICKEY 17

On the surface, Bong Joon-ho’s latest could definitely be forgiven for coming across ultimately as something of a greatest hits mix from his most well known past offerings – a bit of Okja here, a healthy dose of Parasite there and a sprinkling of The Host for flavour, with a robust base of Snowpiercer to hold it all together … but there’s a lot more to it than that. This is EASILY his most original film to date, bristling with intriguingly fresh ideas and challenging themes which make this one of the most interesting and refreshingly OFF-THE-WALL science-fiction films I’ve seen in a good while.

Robert Pattinson stars as Mickey, a shy and retiring underachieveing slacker who tries to get out of a doomed existence on a dying Earth which looks set to become a good deal more violently SHORT in the very near future by signing up to be an “Expendable” on a colony ship destined for the distant frozen planet of Niflheim. The problem is that the role essentially turns him into the crew’s “canary”, whose job is to be the first person to set foot in any potentially hostile new environment where that any nasty, lingering death from unseen pathogens or vicious predators happens to HIM first so they can then plan ahead for whoever follows him. Then his corpse gets shoved into a furnace that melts down all biological waste products and printed back out as a fresh new clone … only to repeat the whole unpleasant experience the next time round. Needless to say in the process of colonising a new planet this happens A LOT, and Mickey’s on his SEVENTEENTH go-around when he’s left for dead after his latest gruelling encounter, only to inexplicably survive and return to his home on the ship. Which is a BIG PROBLEM, because there’s only supposed to be ONE Expendable at a time ...

The RPatz haters are either gonna love this movie or absolutely LOATHE it. The latter because there's gonna be WAY more Robert Pattinson in this movie than they could ever stand ... but at least they'll get to watch him die in the most horrible ways, over and over again. And again. And AGAIN … in all serious, though, I've always thought he's a way better actor than Twilight let him be, and he's gone just as far out of his way as Kristen Stewart trying to prove it since. It's been a pleasure getting to watch him land so many great roles that have gotten to prove it since (particularly The Batman). This is just another in a long line of pure proof performances that just prove that point, and indeed this might be THE BEST YET because this time we get to see him play a whole BUNCH of characters ... even if they are still ESSENTIALLY the same one … Mark Ruffalo, meanwhile, frequently steals the film out from under him as the expedition’s loathsome leader, Kenneth Marshall, a failed politician, egomaniacally arrogant religious zealot and preening self-promoter obviously modelled after a certain American president. Toni Collette, Naomie Ackie (I Wanna Dance With Somebody, Blink Twice), Steven Yeun and Anamaria Vartolomei (Happening) all offer up uniformly sterling support, and there’s a deliciously pathetic turn from British comedian Tim Key as the Pigeon Man, the expedition’s much put-upon mascot.

This is also yet another bloody brilliant film from the best writer-director to ever come out of Korean cinema. Bong continues to prove he's essentially the Jean-Pierre Jeunet of Eastern cinema with another quirky, off-kilter and distinctly ODDBALL piece of work, his best work always seeming to come when he fully embraces science-fiction as his genre of choice (sorry Parasite). The world-building is SPECTACULAR, deeply inventive in its frequent unabashed WACKINESS, and the effects work, from skilfully nuanced use of typically PREMIER-quality CGI to some truly ODD creature effects, is completely off-the-charts AMAZING. The result is definitely his most full-on batshit black comedy effort to date, skewing into some of his most unabashed levels of absurdity as he delivers a delightfully vindictive indictment of capitalism, political corruption and religious fervour that feels all the more topical right now. The end results are EASILY the year’s most impressive sci-fi offering (so far), and another stone-cold MASTERPIECE from one of the most interesting filmmakers out there right now. I guess a little extra RPatz for our money's a good thing after all …

2. WARFARE

A24 making an intense, gruelling boots-on-the-ground war movie? What’s THAT all about? Is THE “boutique indie” film studio selling out? Even if it’s helmed by Ray Mendoza, a first-time director telling a story cribbed directly from his own personal experience as a Navy SEAL operating in Ramadi during the Iraq War, co-writing/directing with Alex Garland, this is gonna be a far cry indeed from what we’re used to from this particular cinematic imprint. Right?

Not exactly. Taking place almost entirely in the dusty confines of a commandeered Iraqi home, the main action unfolds largely in real time as a squad of SEALs, looking to counteract some insurgent activity, wind up on the short end of a very violent stick when their location���s compromised and they start taking fire before an IED critically wounds two of their number, leaving them stranded and in a desperate pitched battle under HEAVY FIRE while their comrades try to extract them. The first half of the film unfolds slowly but with perfectly-pitched rising tension while the operators kill time, then realise they’re in a tight spot … and then it all goes horribly wrong.

The entire cast are incredible in this, but particular praise must, OF COURSE, be heaped upon Joseph Quinn, Charles Melton, Will Poulter and Kit Connor, who all acquit themselves especially well in their much put-upon roles. The standout turn, however, comes from Cosmo Jarvis, who’s finally getting the respect and attention he’s long been due for early roles in the likes of Lady Macbeth and Calm With Horses before FINALLY breaking out spectacularly in last year’s hot-ticket miniseries Shogun. If THIS doesn’t finally make him into a full-blooded STAR there’s no justice in the world. EVERYBODY here is put through hell, and the fact that they were ALL able to perform to SUCH high standards throughout is definitely a testament to their collective talents and commitment.

This is an intense experience, definitely not the film you think you're going to get given the title (and maybe the trailer, too). This is definitely NOT anything like the sort of gung-ho action-heavy war thriller you usually get with this genre, even though once shit proper pops off there is A LOT of fighting. This is war as a stone-cold SURVIVAL HORROR, after the almost CASUAL buildup of the first half, once the first really big bomb goes off we are suddenly thrown headfirst into pure disorienting CHAOS just like the soldiers themselves experience it, thoroughly rattled, largely deafened by the blast, confused and COMPLETELY fucked up. The rest of the film is essentially a desperate recovery action, everybody just trying to get out of this terrifying living hell in one piece, and the results are truly HARROWING. LIke I said, this is NOT a war movie. This is, quite simply, the purest, most full-on ANTI-war movie I've ever seen. It's amazing, and it managed to last AN ENTIRE DAY as my movie of the year ...

1. SINNERS

Gods yes, that's it ... TRUE early candidate for MOVIE OF THE YEAR located, folks! This is an INCREDIBLE FILM, a genuine undeniable MASTERPIECE from a filmmaker who's been flirting with true auteur GENIUS for a while now. I know how picky the Academy can be when it comes to genre cinema, but if Ryan Coogler doesn't at least get NOMINATED for an Oscar for this there's no justice in the world. This is NOT AT ALL what we expected it to be going in, we thought we were getting a straightforward vampire action horror but this ultimately turned out to be something very different, something ultimately EXTREMELY unique. Granted, this is NOT going to be a film for everyone, but this is a genuine EXPERIENCE which rewards patient viewers who go in with an open mind.

Set in early 1930s Mississippi, it follows gangster twins Smoke and Stack (both played by Michael B Jordan), newly returned from making their fortune working with a Chicago outfit and looking to retrofit an abandoned sawmill in their hometown into a happening new juke joint catering exclusively to their black community. Enlisting the help of their astonishingly talented young guitarist cousin Sammie (newcomer Miles Caton) and a selection of old friends including washed-up drunkard pianist Delta Slim (Delroy Lindo) and Stack’s estranged lover Mary (Hailee Steinfeld), their opening night looks set to be a roaring success … until an unexpected trio of white vampires turn up at the door, looking for trouble ...

Michael B Jordan once again proves he really does bring his VERY BEST game whenever he works with Coogler, and this might well be the best performance he’s EVER DELIVERED, the way he makes these twins effortlessly FEEL like actual genuine super-close twin brothers while still investing each with their own vital, distinctly unique personality is a genuine MASTERCLASS at pulling off multiple characters effectively in a single sitting. Steinfeld, Lindo, Wunmi Mosaku (Lovecraft Country, Loki) and Omar Miller (Ballers, The Unicorn) similarly impress in their meaty roles, and Jack O’Connell is simply CHILLING as Irish immigrant master vampire Remmick, one of he very best villainous bloodsuckers I’ve EVER seen brought to the big screen. The film’s undeniable standout, however, is Miles Caton, a truly astounding find of a previously untried acting talent, who turns out to be as flawlessly gifted in this capacity as he is a genuinely prodigious musical WONDER. Sammie is the beating heart of this film, and he instantly proves his mettle carrying it every bit as much as Jordan.

This is, ultimately, less a horror movie and more just a film about a place and time in the Black South and the people who lived and loved in it. Most of all it's about MUSIC, black music in particular and how incredibly important it's ALWAYS been to the people who made it what it is, and who continue to make it, all the generations from its birth to now, and I'm sure far beyond. The fact that this has THE VERY BEST score we've heard from Coogler's good friend and regular collaborator Ludwig Goransson TO DATE (and this is from the guy who scored Oppenheimer!) just makes it all the sweeter …

That one particular sequence that everyone is talking about COMPLETELY DESERVES all that attention. It's fucking MESMERISING. I swear I spent the whole time with my jaw hanging open, I was just LOST in awe for what felt like an eternity, just boggling at the magnificence. Most definitely LOST IN THE SAUCE. Talk about the transformative power of music …

That being said, after the slowburn first half, which does a BEAUTIFUL job of setting the scene and introducing the myriad collection of BRILLIANT characters, once the horror DOES finally take hold this is extremely effective and properly TERRIFYING stuff. It’s gruesome and joyfully NASTY in all the best ways, Coogler showing an impressively deft talent for bringing the scares in a big way, although there’s also a dark sense of humour to the film which keeps it sufficiently light to prevent it from becoming gruelling. Meanwhile the guy who brought Black Panther to the screen also injects a hefty dose of hot-blooded, high-octane ACTION to proceedings too, and handles the effects work with his usual consummate skill too. Most importantly, though, there’s also some serious emotional heft here too, leading to a powerful climactic denouement and a fitting coda which rewards sticking around through the end credits. Altogether this is a soaring cinematic achievement, and proof, once and for all, that Coogler’s well on his way to becoming one of the truly GREAT filmmaking talents of his generation. Seriously, this film is going to be a tough one to beat ...

*PS ... once again, many thanks to Letterboxd for the posters.

[tehriel]

Moth and Flame (not Ghoul enough)

Behold, I have finished this fanfic, I am editing chapters as they come out.

Sodo/Dew x Reader primarily. Little Rain and Phantom x Reader too. Reader do just get around.

Mature, more plot over porn.

Tags: banter, attempts at humour, little violence, gore, really don't take this one seriously

Classic enemies to lovers romcom vibes. Not reinventing the wheel should be an easy read. The reader is a too-happy, sparkly ghoul who has been given the position of cardinal. Sodo is the bane of their entire existence; they are forced to work together. Gaffs ensue.

Deals with themes of being a people pleaser.

Below you can find the first chapter~

will probably repost when I have made a pretty cover for this one~

You hummed softly, swaying in the lazy light of early spring. You spun barefoot around your well-trodden paths of the greenhouse, which hid in the great shadow of the cathedral. Your waltz caused your tail to sweep the dirt floor and the skirts of your white cassock to flutter.

You stopped dead in your tracks. “Just look at you~” you chirped, pausing to admire one of your black roses. “Friend, you’re early; the ritual dance isn’t for another three weeks,” you tapped the early bloomer on the head. “Maybe I’ll dry you out so people can still enjoy all the work you’ve put into being pretty, hmm?” You pondered for a while before pouring some water from your watering can. The water ran red. The rose could not be happier.

“Cardinal _______,” came a soft call.

A smile slowly peeled over your face; your teeth were sharp, but your demeanour wasn’t threatening. “Sister Maria~” you sparkled and peered down from the balcony, “I’m in the roses—from memory, you liked my roses, hum?”

“O—o.. yes, Cardinal.” You were her Juliet on your balcony, and the small slight of a girl turned bright beet red.

You cocked your brow and gave her an unassuming grin. “Whatever has you so flustered, Sister?”

“N-nothing, uh, Papa Emeritus has sent for you, Cardinal.”

“And here I was thinking you’d come to see me, Sister,” you teased and picked up your snips from your tool table. “I’ll be down in a moment.” Your voice turned to whisper, “You want to go with her, huh? That’s why you were early, very sly of you.” You took the rose low on the stem and replaced your snips on the bench before walking down the spiral steps, flower in tow. “You look lovely today, Sister~” you twittered.

“Oh, t-thank you…” The scarlet of her cheeks contrasted her black habit.

You expertly dethorned the rose with quick claws.  “Here you are,” you gave a short bow and offered the plant.

“T-thank you, Cardinal,” she stammered and looked away as she twirled the stem between her fingers.

“Anytime, Sister~ You know I appreciate your company~” You twinkled and danced around her, tail moving like a streamer in your wake. “Will you walk with me to see Papa~?”

“No-no, I’m needed in the kitchens today.”

You clicked your tongue, “Ah, too bad—and still, I think I can tell when you are helping out in the kitchens, the meals taste a little extra… mhhm.” You made the universal hand sign for ‘fucking delicious’.

“Oh, I just chop…”

“It’s not what goes in… it’s the way you smell,” you slowly flashed her your teeth.

She swallowed.

“Anyway~ I’ll see you later, Sister; enjoy your rose~” you beamed and near-skipped away to Papa Copia’s offices.

***

“Meet in Aeth’s room after practice?” Rain the water ghoul prompted the group of dark-clad ghouls in his soft-spoken voice.

“Yeah, you can all try my new brew,” Swiss’s grin was too big, it always was.

“Eugh, you didn’t make this one in your toilet again, right?” Aether wrinkled his nose.

“Noooo….” Swiss waved off in a way that everyone with ears could tell he was full of shit.

“Oh, you so did, fucking minging, man,” Aether was loud. His voice echoed up the polished marble hallway.

“Naw, come on, it adds to the-the… experience. It’s fucking powerful stuff—I’ve been bothering Papa for a distiller.”

“I don’t care about the minutia and the abience of your fucking toilet, man!” Aeth’s nose wrinkled.

“I cleaned it before I..”

“Brewed more fucking shit in it?” Aeth’s brows rose in a ‘are you kidding?’ manner.

“Well, I’m in,” Phantom shrugged, “pretty sure I’ve put worse things in my mouth.

“Pretty sure I’ve watched you put worse things in your mouth,” Aether slapped his shorter brother’s shoulder affectionately.

“Uh, hey guys, what are we talking about~?” You twinkled, stepping up to the group. Your white hooded cassock shone colours in the stained glass sunlight, a blinding contrast to their inky black formal ghoul’s uniforms.

“Oh…” is all Swiss said. 

They all went dead quiet. 

You felt the weight of it.

You watched them look at each other. 

Even Phantom couldn’t look at you.

You nodded to yourself, “Uh, I was going to hang out in the forest later this week if anyone wanted to come?” You prompted, still smiling.

“Ah, busy week,” Aether stretched.

“Busy,” Swiss nodded. “Yeah, you know all this ritual prep,” Swiss waved.

“Phantom?” You smiled hopefully. 

“Ah, nah, gonna have to take the L on this one, Cardinal… busy, uh, with them.” He pointed to the rest of the group.

“All uh, week?” You frowned.

“Yeah, yes.” Swiss nodded. “Alllll week, that Copia is a real slave driver.”

You nodded in a big way. “Ah, yeah… I get it, no, uh… probably more fun alone, right…? uh, trees and… yeah. Really absorb the… ambience,” You refused to let your smile die or show any disappointment.

“Anyway, we got a thing with Sodo, like right now, so…” Swiss thumbed.

“That’s right,” Phantom touched his forehead. “Almost forgot that.”

“Oh, cool, yeah, you guys have an awesome day, huh?” You nodded, still beaming as brightly as you could.

“Yes, will do!” Phantom gave a thumbs up but was already walking away.

There was a chorus of ‘bye’s, and they hurriedly walked away. Rain was last to move. “Sorry, Cardinal ______…” he murmured, turning away.

“You know you don’t have to call me that?” You called softly, knowing his grey, pointed ears would still hear you. “Just ______ is fine.”

“______,” he muttered but left anyway.

Your grin shakily gave out, and you sighed softly, watching the leaves dance and mar the light of the windows. You were alone.

***

“Ah, my beautiful Cardi _,” Copia brimmed and stood from his paper-littered desk. He might as well have swum up to you from the depths of ink and paperwork. Poor guy.

“Does not seem fair that I can no longer call you Cardi C, Papa,” you chuckled. “How are you today, Papa E~?”

He was in his comfy red sweats and simple dark eye makeup for a hard day in the office. “Ah yes, good-good. Come sit, my ghoul. You want a biscuit or perhaps a juice box?” He offered you the cookie jar on his desk as he always did.

You sat, your tail ending up politely in your lap as you waved off the biscuit; for some reason, you had no appetite. It definitely had nothing to do with what just happened in the hallway on your way here. “What can I help you with today, Papa~?” You twinkled.

“Naw, can’t I ask you into my office just to catch up?” His grin skewed the black of his painted upper lip.

“I know you wish you could, Papa,” you huffed a small sigh, missing when you were both cardinals and he had actual time on his hands. But humans grew up—and you just wouldn’t.

“I’m taking some holiday time soon, perhaps then, huh?”

“That is the best news I’ve heard all day~” you grinned. “Ooo ooooo, I gotta start planning!”

“Yes, I will book you in for a weekend, but until then, I want you to do something for me.”

“Hmm~? I’m listening.”

“I, uh, need the basement cleaned out and reorganised. I went down looking for what we need for the springtime ritual dance, and I really couldn’t find shit down there.”

“Not even a little turd?” You frowned.

“Very funny,” he said in a way that meant, ‘you’re not funny at all’.

You stood and stretched yourself out. “Last I checked, it’s a fucking hellscape down there; I think I’d know because, uh,” you pointed to the horns that popped out the top of your hood. “But I’ve got this~ Anything else, Papa?” You were already getting ready to leave, though. He just didn’t have time for you anymore, but if this made things easier for him, you were all too happy to help.

“Eh, yes, actually,” he looked away, and his leather-clad finger fiddled with a pen on his desk.

“You’re usually a little more forward about these things,” you chuckled and piqued a brow.

“What? Uh, nah.. it’s…” he cleared his throat. “Sodo will be helping you clear the basement.”

“Eh-what?” You felt your usually springy, chipper mood slipping.

“Sodo is going to be helping you out,” he repeated, but you had definitely heard him correctly the first time. You were praying for a bee to have maybe buzzed passed, and it sounded like people just saying stupid shit for some reason.

“Papa…” you eased. “Papa, this is where you say uh, ‘sike’, and we both laugh because he is an awful shit, and you would never trap me in a basement with him for weeks on end.”

“I am sorry, ______, I am aware of how you feel about him.”

“I am starting to think that may not be the case. Papa, Lucifer created him to be the size of a football for a reason.” You studied his mismatched eyes, trying to detect some kind of joke you were missing.

“A reason, Caro?”

“So that Baggio might one day kick him into the sun.”

Copia laughed before he could stop himself. “Ah, I love Baggio~”

“Come on, Papa, there has to be something more useful he could be doing, like uh, being a hamburger. I have a very good recipe if you ever consider….”

“______,” he shook his head and chuckled, “I’m sorry, it’s out of my hands; Sister caught him trying to set a fire in the abbey again…”

“Of course, he was,” you rolled your eyes. “He keeps saying there are cherubs in there…”

“He’ll be helping you out as punishment.”

“Punish himmmm! Not me! I can do this all so easily by myself.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love you both dearly,”

“I have no idea why…” you muttered under your breath.

“But I worry what would happen if he was in there alone and unsupervised with all our ritual decorations…”

“And the weapons locker,” you huffed, and your lip dropped. “He only has two brain cells, violence and dumb.”

“Naw, come now, Cardinal ______. I am still not wholly sure why you hate him so much.”

“He’s short, angry and mean,” you answered without thought.

“Mean?”

“Oh, you know, ‘______, if you love plants so much why don’t you marry one,’ orrr ‘______, maybe you should sew yourself a body bag next’ orrr ‘______, I get to make love to Swiss, and you don’t so… go eat worms.’ You know, things like this.”

Copia steepled his hands in thought. “I see. Maybe you could, uh, take time and ‘bond’ over this… at least hate each other a little less…”

“Bond? Bond?! Papa! I rather eat glass. I would rather strap on wings and ascend to whatever heaven the Trump supporters go to.”

“At the very least, you will have some more uh, comedic material, huh?”

You blew out your cheeks. “They say trauma makes a person very funny. Eugh, but I’ve already seen hell; why must I survive it here too?!”

“Ah, always so dramatic, my pretty ghoul.”

You gave him a face of utter disapproval.

“I’m afraid it’s my final say on the matter, ______. I believe the two of you can work out the basement without too much damage.”

You closed your eyes for a long time and sighed, “I understand this next ritual takes a lot of time and planning, so I will do this for you, Papa Copia—not for him. For you.” 

“Thank you, my sweet ghoul. Perhaps I will take time to plan out our weekend, huh? As a reward for all this?”

“When did you ever get so charming?” You gave him a tight smile.

“Oh, uh, always~” he grinned. 

“Right, let’s fucking get this done…”

“Hope you have a lovely day, Cardinal~”

“You too, Papa,” you sagged, opening the door. Your tail followed you limply out. Fucking shitty, fuck. Hell.

Thank you for reading friend! I hope you enjoyed it!!

[bluecuts34]

beasts of the briar: 2 books in 9 hours and absolutely all of mega rambly stream of consciousness thoughts about beasts and i shill for garth nix, not for the last time

So i started reading book 1 at 2am as an insomnia read, because once my insomnia hits, it stays, and i'm awake until bedtime tomorrow (thanks vyvanse!). Wanted easier than my recent bedtime reading, a small town in germany by john le carre. It's dense and i read the looking glass war right before it, which was clever but a slow burning, subtle novel. i was in the mood for something lighter, and was thinking about trying to read more sarah j maas (i read acotar in 2022 and hated it. I'm giving the next one a fair crack once my reservation comes in, but it was just so... not fun? Not boring but really dry). I have a fairytale themed market coming in march, know fey are big, but haven't been keeping up with popular fey lit At All so if i want to make fanart to get people to look at my stall, it should probably be a throne of x an y?

ANYWAY

(also don't follow me please if you want like, uncritical take or breathless praise of a series/author (unless it's garth nix, we stan nix on this blog). i'm not attacking you personally if you love it, but i'm over 25 and this is my tumblr blog where i have my opinions. peace)

also im spoiling stuff if you care about that

My friend recced beasts of the briar as totally unconsciousness madness with a plot as subtle as a sledgehammer, so obviously i'm in for it. I'd rather have rubbish someone cooked with pure joy/horny than something boring and technically "good".

Anyway i finished book 2 at about 11am. I'm a fast reader and couldn't sleep, but i like it a lot! I read 2 books in 9 hours! Like let's be real, it is not Classically Good and it definitely reads like fanfic of something else, but it's like, fanfic on a03 in 2010 that's got an air of respectability, it's had a couple of betas and a regular update schedule for a while. You can tell that someone's having a blast writing it. I'm interested to see if they keep the core heat of the dynamic as they start to you know, spoilers, pair people off and solve curses. For me, I feel like the dynamic is starting to cool/stale with Kel/Rose and Farron/Rose. Kel/Ez? *sucking in a breath thru my teeth, leaning back in my chair, white knuckled* anyway Book 2 has barely touched this ship and I'm reading for it. Thank you, EH, for writing this for Me, your horniest nb reader. I appreciate the slow burn while Day/Fare make me roll my eyes so much they roll onto the floor after a while. Don't ever talk about your feelings directly in a romance unless you're forced to. My cardinal sin. Tension evaporates when people therapy talk. Therapy fuck instead, that's how kink works and you get an insight into a character with how they process what scares them into what turns them on this is a post for another time moving on

It's a common issue in romance imo where once the initial tension wears off or breaks, if there's no other "plot" to carry the book it's really hard to keep me hooked. It's best short and sweet, in maybe 20-80k word bursts imo. More than that wordcount I think you need to dream up a plot first and a good romantic dynamic second - most writers (including EH) aren't good enough to carry full novels on characters alone. I can write smoking hot 10k word smut scenes. That's the hard limit for me before I have to start spinning a plot around it, which is so much fucking harder so I absolutely sympathise with the dilemma - if she'd solved the personal issues of the 4 MCs (and +1 secret love interest with Cas, honey, EH, that flower on the ground representing her mate bond with him was so blunt I flinched but you know what I like it anyway because I think you liked too). The plot/worldbuilding is on the thin side, not meaty enough to carry the book all by itself without the romance. There's a huge disparity in stakes with the fate of the Enchanted Vale HANGING in the BALANCE of this ROMANCE and not on the actions of any other character's plots or actions

I think this book reading like fanfic (and let's be real, the trope marketing of these types of books) makes the romantic conclusion generally a sure thing, which takes the air out of any non-romance plot conflict because the characters will solve it with romance. Eg, the bond/mate thing here being the plot answer means that characters who aren't in the main romantic sphere mean very little. So you can kill them as the author because we know they're "safe". . Niamh (queen shit rip miss u already) did nothing meaningful. The side characters (Fare's cool adorable brothers, Rose's dad, Astrid, Marigold (love her tho)) and even the VILLAINS all feel really cardboard because we as the readers know they won't impact the final stakes unless it's to drive our MCs further in love. We know the resoution is that they're all gonna live in a happy polycule and Cas will be fixed with the power of love. But, that means that when you kill Niamh or imprison/defeat uh... Jafar - sorry, evil vizier Perth (reading this book as an Aussie is so fucking funny but that's a separate post ok) it's a bit meaningless. Perversely (hah!) it has a negative impact on the sex, too, because it's too much sweet and not enough vegetables (other plot stuff/character connections). It's like watching a movie that's nonstop action scenes - you feel tired watching it because there's no variety. How many times are Day/Fare/Rose/some combination going to fuck with basically the same beats in the sex scene? Too many. I was getting bored. Sorry.

side note GIIIIIRL PERTH IS VILLAIN QUEER CODED LIKE JAFAR IN A BOOK WITH 4x QUEER MALE MCs I praise EH for the courage to fall back on the classic lazy tropes in book 1 so they can handwave politics and get back to the porn. Shine on.

And the author's game of keep away with the specifics of Kel's vow with Cas, what exactly happened there at the start is wearing preeeeetttttyyy fucking tired. Fucking talk to each other. This stuff only works in a romance with a small cast because there's very few other characters Rose isn't romantically involved with that she can talk to, and fewer still that she's on equal terms with - remember, Astrid and Marigold are servants and serving in Castletree is a big honour, and while they act like the prince's friends/fans let's not forget how some of the pretty boys (Day) kill their own citizens pretty thoughtlessly, so if Astrid was to betray her liege lord's trust and tell Rose (and the reader) the truth, she's risking death by Kel's hand, being banished back to Winter, or having to flee to the Below. And there'd be no concequences for Kel apart from Rose probably having a huff a bout it but getting over it eventually. Not great!

The "oh I can't tell Rose this it's my GREATEST SHAME" is dull after the first two reveals, and I feel like we have more of these to go where she accepts them and heals them because Castletree is a fucking construction site with how Rose is fixing these boys (lame! hate how she's always the damsel/healer/fixer - ez is literally a healer but doesn't fill the healer/heart/gendered female caretaker role in this polycule and i reckon i'd like it a lot better if he did - based on sexual tension with kel and the early line about mummy and daddy fighting, this shit writes itself (ok personal ick to daddy/mummy dynamics but im too genderqueer to not like to fuck with power + gender/roles another post another post omfg)). There's other ways to create tension in a romance, but you need to lean harder into the Other Plot to make it richer. Or have Rose be a Bad Person and be disgusted at what they've done, but imo backstory reveals are boring, tell your story onscreen, coward.

In my opinion. In minecraft. This is longer than I thought. Also for the record! I like this series! I think it's still fun and the narrative voice is cheesy but I really like it, and I'm looking forward to reading more books. Oh, and looking at the community on here, it's been so long since I engaged in a fandom.

Ok last side note I also like how everyone's super normal about everyone being bi/pan, at least in the male MCs. I haven't caught much queer/poly romance elsewhere in other characters - lots of 2 parent households and het monogomous relationships, apart from the random hot fae people of various genders except Rose fuck. No nbs so far but I'm used to not seeing anyone resembling me in a book.

(Notable exceptions to the romance notes above? Garth Nix's recent books (Frogkisser, Terciel and Elanor, Booksellers books) all are a great romance and have a fabulous plot, so the romance in a book like that feels fleshed out and meaningful. But that's another blog post. But, rest assured, you like Regency fantasy? Read Frogkisser. You like to read/like books (or like American Gods, Good Omens, Skulduggery Pleasant)? Read Left Handed Booksellers of London. Butchy FMC and NB love interest in the 80s, come OnNNNnnnNNnNNNnn Garth Nix writing books for healing my inner queer teen. If I read Angel Mage or Booksellers I'd probably be out with they/them pronouns being a blazing queer in all spheres of my irl life, not just the close ones. I cried a bit reading Booksellers when Merlin is just, very genderqueer as a matter of fact because that's a character like me and my favourite childhood author knows people like me exist and lets them be awesome in his books. I tear up thinking about it and I'm nearly 30. Fucking read it even if there's no smut. Angel Mage is on the three musketeers. There's a great female villain. If you're from the US you may not have heard of Nix. You're missing out so fucking bad and I'm sorry.)

I ramble. My vyvanse wore off a couple hours ago so this is my diary now. Never expect short posts.

[twistxdcrafts]

biography; the beekeeper & the candle maker.

aesthetic | family history | relationships | wanted connections | prompts

walking through the picturesque streets of cardinal hill, you find beaumont proctor, the 43 year old beekeeper & candle maker originally from cardinal hill, washington. living alongside them in such a small town, you know that they're generous and moody, but what you might not know is that they are a human, and that they’re hiding something… ― lee pace, homosexual, cis male, and he/him.

i. details

full name: beaumont alexander proctor nickname(s): beau (most common), monty (very rare, hates it) age: 43 years old date of birth: 21st february, 1947 place of birth: cardinal hill, washington residential area: lower cardinal gender: cis male pronouns: he/him sexuality: homosexual martial status: single occupation: beekeeper, candle maker, artisan business owner

ii. appearance

faceclaim: lee pace   hair: warm brunette, wavy, short back and sides, long on top  eyes: hazel with green facial hair: stubble to short beard, shave and repeat height: 196cm | 6'5  body type: tall, lean, athletic, strong from regular exercise 

iii. personality

personality type: infp | the mediator  moral alignment:  neutral good - true neutral astrology: pisces sun, pisces moon, scorpio rising positive traits: generous, creative, resourceful, determined, passionate, charismatic, energetic, thoughtful, romantic, observant, intelligent negative traits: moody, escapist, closed-off, reckless, stubborn, emotional, sensitive, impulsive, self-critical, jealous

interests: beekeeping, candle making, soap making, botany, entomology, herbal medicine, animal husbandry, vegetable & herb growing, literature, poetry, carpentry and woodworking, interior decorating, renovation, refurbishment, fishing, foraging, cooking, hiking, swimming.

education: bachelor's degree in agriculture & animal husbandry, with minors in entomology and botany

vi. biography

trigger & content warnings: fire, several deaths, mentions of alcohol and drugs.

1947 - 1964 from birth to age 17 years old

born on february 21st 1947, beaumont is the third child out of four, from parents beatrice and lloyd proctor. named after his father's grandfather, beaumont is a member of the 13th generation directly descended from john and elizabeth proctor, the famously accused of the salem, massachusetts witch trials. as it happens, neither john nor elizabeth were a witch, but their son, john proctor the third, in a twist of fate, went on to marry one, mary blackwood.

the proctor's had a long, strong bloodline of witches, but beau was the only one out of his four siblings who wasn't born a witch. despite his parents' best efforts, he felt ostracized from his family. while his siblings magic manifested early, and were celebrated, beau was met with expectant gazes that turned to quiet disappointment when he reached 15 years old, and it was clear he had no magic. three children with quickly developing magical abilities needed guidance and their witch education took presidence. beau, not wanting to disappoint his parent's any more, tried his hardest but even he felt his human accomplishments - an ace student, piano, the swim team, community involvement, a charming wit - became overlooked and sidelined.

he even took on his own independent witch education - studying botany, herbology, astrology, herbal medicine and non-magical witch skills - was brushed aside, and a foolish pursuit in comparison to his magically talented siblings. still, he refused to give up and maintained his hard work... until the night of the old mill fire.

a classic tale of teenage truancy turned tragedy, beau and his closest friend, charles, were messing around in the old mill, long abandoned and closed to the public. somehow, a fire started, and the boys became trapped. beau managed to escape, dragging an unconscious charlie with him, but the other boy tragically died in the hospital from his extensive injuries.

beau, crippled by grief and guilt, became a shell of his former self, moving through life like a ghost. in a few months, he dropped out of high school and started acting out, with alcohol, drugs and general misbehaviour. his parents didn't know what to do, trying to protect their family name and their other children, but their salvation came in the form of a letter. earl, lloyd proctor's non-witch brother, reached out to beau. his uncle's kind and empathetic words reached him, and beau left a note, packed a bag and took enough money to get himself across the country to salem, massachusetts. his uncle took him in, and it turned beau's life around.

1964 - 1972 ages 17 to 25 years old

there, in the place where his ancestors had left and his uncle had moved to, he started to heal from his grief and his guilt. the nightmares he'd had started to happen less and less, and his uncle let him help out on his land. he taught beau how to look after chickens, goats, and bees. he gave the young man a reason to get out of bed in the morning. beau wanted to become his apprentice, but his uncle made him promise to go back and graduate from high school. beau agreed, enrolling two years behind his classmates, but determined to graduate. he worked hard and achieved good grades, considering his circumstances.

his only setback was the sudden and tragic death of his brother, jonathan. the oldest proctor child, although he wasn't the heir, he was greatly loved by his family, and he left behind a family of his own of three daughters with lilian prior. beau returned to cardinal hills for the funeral. he thought he should return for good, but he could see in their grief that his family were even more distant from him, and he had come to see his uncle and the farm in salem as his salvation. and so, he returned to massachusetts.

as promised, his uncle took beau on as his apprentice, learning to become a bee keeper and a candle maker. however, he saw his nephew's further potential, and encouraged him to apply for college. beau was unsure, having lost his confidence and his ambition, but he applied to make him uncle proud. he did not succeed, but was invited to join a summer programme at harvard university. knowing it could be the closest he'd ever get to attending the ivy league school, beau attended, and his hard work there paid off, when he was granted a late-acceptance to a local community college near salem. he studied many subjects - european and american history, entomology, botany, animal husbandry and eventually graduated with a bachelor's degree in agriculture. all the while, he continued to work as his uncle's apprentice and farmhand. after graduation, beau spent another year with his uncle.

1972 - 1976 ages 25 to 29 years old

since his moving to salem, beau had been working to restore the relationship with his family, through letters and bi-annual visits to cardinal hills. he still felt very much like an outsider but had grown especially close to his two sisters. his youngest sister, mary-elizabeth, the baby of the family, expressed a desire to attend university in england, where their bloodline had originally come from. their parents were anxious at the idea, but beau offered to go with them and look after them. he did have his own curiosity to explore their family history and english beekeeping, but the young man had itchy feet and wanted to go on his own adventure.

whilst living in england, just south of london in the county of kent, beau began working as a beekeeper and vegetable gardener on the country estate belonging to aurelius 'grey' hawthorne. a cold, aloof young man, the same age as beau, but with so much more resting on his handsome shoulders. slowly but surely, the two bonded. grey introduced beau to his passion, horses, whilst showing a quiet interest in beau's passion, bees. they tested and challenged each other, and eventually fell into a slow-burning passion. they became lovers, but grey broke it off before beau left england.

1976 - 1979 ages 29 to 32 years old

after four years, beau returned to america, and came back to work with his uncle as a business partner and equal with his own unique knowledge and experience. two years after his return, his uncle died unexpectedly. beau organised his funeral, and following his uncle's wishes, spread half his ashes on the farm in salem, and he would take the other half back to cardinal hills. he continued his uncle's business, but six months after his uncle's funeral, beau's grandparents would die within a week of each other. he came back to cardinal hills to attend their funeral and the ascension of his mother as the family's matriarch. while he was visiting, beau's parents asked him to return to cardinal hills, wanting the family to close ranks. after thinking about it, beau decided to relocate the business and return to his hometown. he began the process of selling his uncle's farm and either selling, rehoming or moving his livestock with him.

1979 - 1990 (present) ages 32 to 43 years old

following his return, beau originally rented a cottage with a little land where he could keep his beehives, his chickens and his goats. he had already established contacts in cardinal hills to sell his wares even when he was across the country in salem, but he had ambitions to build. his products were of recognised good quality, and even his parents recognised his potential. his life looked very different than they imagined, but he was finding his valued place in the witch world despite his lack of magic. they seemed to quietly acknowledge the lack of recognition and support they'd given to beau early in life and wanted to make up for lost time. they offered him a gift of money - he'd worked hard all of his life and gotten back on his feet despite tragedy - but beau made them a deal. like his siblings, he would take a gift contribution towards a home, but the rest of the money would act as an interest-free business loan and he would pay them back gradually.

with the money, beau bought an old farmhouse, and over time restored it into his home and developed the surrounding land into the small farm it is today. over the last decade, he has become the top honey and candle supplier for witches in cardinal hills, and an artisan good supplier for the human population. his business has developed to produce honey, beeswax both raw and refined, royal jelly, candles and soap. although he doesn't have a traditional store, he's a regular vendor at local artisanal and farmer's markets. his edible produce, including honey, apple sauce and honey lavender cake has won at the cardinal hills town show.

his life in cardinal hills has been relatively peaceful. he dated nicholas stone for almost a year until they broke up roughly six months ago. now, the nightmares he's been having have shaken him up, and he wonders if something is haunting him from years ago...

[aggressivenesswhilecrying]

Dante, do you like that slow burn?

Summery:

Ren and martyn are the final two, all their allies and enemies are dead. And on the black heart alter, ren and martyn stand, axe and sword in hand.

Martyns entire life revoles around his king, he knows ren better than he knows himself. And he knows ren isn't made for spring. And well. Martyn will always follow were his king goes.

TW!! MAIN CHARACTER DEATH, HURT NO COMFORT, VIOLENCE!!

Beta read and edited!!

(This is for day one of treebark week, prompt flower/frost!!)

The air is turning warm finally in dogwarts, and the two who rule over it stand on th black heart altar. The king and his hand. Winter has finally passed, and ice and snow are melting away to reveal green grass. The trees are decorated in blossoms, and birds are singing happily. The air tastes like pollen in ren and martyn’s mouths.

Red winter has passed. And spring has come.

And yet there is still red decorating the ground. Poppies burst from the ground, and the tops of beetroots. Red winter has passed and yet a cardinal sits proudly in the tree overhead. Tilting its head as it gazes at the two. Wonder in its sound.

Spring is here, and the light and growth are returning to dogwarts in every way they possibly can.

And there are only two left. Two stand on the ruined earth. They won. It’s, well, it’s almost over. They have almost done it. Soon, there will be nothing but whispers of their lives in these abandoned walls. Ren's ears are low, his sunglasses discarded on the ground, tail between his legs. His hair is matted, and his crown long since gone. His cape curled up at his feet, and Martyn wants to weep. His classic green hoodie is stained brown, red having soaked in. The time is pink now, it’s green, it’s beautiful and alive, life takes over the corpses of their enemies. And yet here two dead men walking are. They aren't made for the gentle spring.

They made the winter with their bare hands, it’s far too late for them to bloom into spring.

Martyn can feel his torn jean shorts against his legs. His sandals painfully digging into his feet, the red winter axe in his hand held tight. He can feel the shaking of despair traveling up his spine. It leaves him feeling breathless and his knee’s shaking.

No matter how gentle the air is, he can't seem to breathe right. He feels sick to his stomach.

Death game. It’s in the name. Everyone dies. Everyone kills each other. Teams are never meant to last here. No. They rot, and fall away like old wood. Lasting for the moment, but after a while, after rain, it always rots away, it always opens up to a hole.

Death game.

They have to kill each other. After all this time they have to tear their weapons through beautiful, loved skin. Skin they grew to worship. Kisses whispered prayers late at night during the beginning of the end. The skin of those they love so deeply. The skin they cared for in the deepest parts of their souls, the skin they both vowed to try to keep safe from harm.

The ax falls from martyn’s hand, and he lets out an ugly sob, back shaking as he loses even more breath in his air from his lungs, he brings the balls of his hands to his eyes each, voice raw as tears start to run down his face, slowly he hears the sound of ren dropping his own weapon, and it’s slow, hesitant even, before ren is running, desperate to get to martyn.

Steps once slow, now quick and rushed as there is no longer any space between them, ren clawing, latching onto martyn, claw like nails digging into clothing, and almost skin as he tugs martyn to his chest. His own breathing is shaky. And his own tears coming to his eyes, there is no space between them to even breathe as he holds martyn like his life depends on it.

If anything Ren is safer away from martyn, but at this point, they don't even care.

“Gods- i- fuck ren, i dont want to, i dont want to do this..!!'' Martyn's voice is a wet scream near the end as he curls into the rough and worn fabric, tears falling like a waterfall, soaking into ren clothing. Rens head settles on top of martyns own, and the king shakes and hiccups, his own tears falling into martyn’s hair, it’s almost nice to know that ren is feeling the same way martyn is right now, just a little bit of reassurance, a “maybe he loves me too, maybe it was true.” but Martyn knows it was. Martyn knows how honest Ren is, and he could not have faked that long, looked into Martyn's eyes, and lied for that long. He knows Ren loved him. And he loves Ren the same. Of course he does. How could he not?

He loves Ren with everything he is. He loves Ren with everything in his soul. He has given his life to ren, every single life. He has listened to every single command ren has ever dished out. He has given everything to ren, loved ren like how someone would love a prayer. It’s all their wishes, dreams, deepest fears. It’s everything they are, is only a few words. Or in this case, one man.

“I don't want to either..”

The silly accent is dropped of ren shivers against martyn, hand tangling into his hair as he holds on like his life depends on it. Like it's his entire life on the line. And he cries. Ren lets out a deep sob, and he cries. Full of love for martyn, love for the home they built. And hate, hate for the situation and how he cant do anything to change their fate.

He can't fix anything, this is the end after all.

Martyn tilts his head up just barely, looking at Ren with tear filled eyes. And he makes a decision as he looks at ren. He makes a decision he could never take back.

He meets Ren's eyes, and for one final moment, one moment of love, he whispers the words he’s meant for ages, in reality, it has only been maybe 8 weeks, but they mean so much more than he’s willing to admit. And he kisses ren.

His king's lips are chapped and scratches against his painfully, but he doesn't so much as care about how it hurts, no, he focuses on the way Ren sobs into his lips. How his grip tightens on martyn. How everything feels like it’s crashing in. He lets himself enjoy it, just for a moment, a moment of peace, of happiness. A moment of love in the end.

Martyn couldn't tell you how long they spent like that, desperate for every moment they can get, holding onto each other lips pressed against each other, breath stolen in these moment, and tears shed, they could have spent hours like that for all they knew, they could have spent years holding each other and it wouldn't have made any difference to them. Cuz in the end they still pull away, they still separate, and they still know what has to happen. There is no other option, no other choice, no other way out.

And so, they get into fighting stances on either side of the altar, they leave the sentimental weapons on the side, and they weep oh so openly. As they prepare to fight, to kill each other in cold blood on the altar that means oh so much to them, they raise their fists, getting ready, a sob racks through ren, he leaves his sunglasses off, and red eyes hold onto red eyes, as they wish, and pray this wasn't the way it ends.

The first hit is thrown by Martyn, because he knows Ren won't take it, he knows Ren won't throw it, so he does. Martyn hears his fist connect with Ren's face, he doesn't see exactly where, but he can feel it through his entire arm.

Like a racing fire up his body, the bloodlust of being red starts to cloud his mind. He feels the fog fill his mind. But he knows he won't win. He knows it. And so he lets Ren take the next, he gives the act of missing as Ren takes another. Martyn lets it happen, because he’s just the king's hand, his role is to give everything to his king, his lord. It’s his job to let Ren take swing, after swing. It’s his job to fall to his knees, and even further as Ren doesn't stop. The redness in his eyes near glowing as he throws hit, after hit.

Martyns face isn't right, and the humid air leaves him feeling sticky. Ren does not relent, even as martyn face turns into some shape it was not supposed to be before, as it no longer looks like martyn, it doesn't even look human to some degree, no, he can't see anymore. Martyn can't see, and he isn't able to talk right, but try as he might, he whispers the words, over, and over, and over again. Broken prayers, to the god that is harming him, in a voice that it can't even hear. Broken and sorrowful declarations to the man he deems his god. To the man he devoted every whim of his life to.

Declarations of love. Of home. Of everything he can say. But Ren will never hear them, as Martyn's voice is drowned out by the blood that fills his mouth. His world is spinning, and he promises that it’s all rens, but all ren can hear is painful gurgling. All Ren is able to feel is shame. All that is there, is martyns bloodied body on the ground below him.

All that remains is a man made god, sobbing at his lover's feet. All that remains is a body that drifts off into dust in the wind. And a man with bloodied fists crying over a pool of red. Whispering his own prayers, and sorrows, and his own declarations of how if the gods aren't cruel, then maybe they will get another shot at this, another life time together, another maybe, and another please, and another im sorry. And everything he can give to the space that once hosted martyn. Another i love you, maybe he deserves this. To lose a lover he held so close, maybe he did something, in some other life, to be the sole survivor in such a painful way.

Ren stumbles over his feet, reaching, begging his arms to grab onto the sword. Praying that as he thrusts the blade into his chest, that him and martyn can be somewhere else, at another time. Maybe they could have lived in a small cottage on the hill, maybe their story doesn't always end in red and death, maybe they mold themselves for spring.

[novankenn]

Reluctant Hero?

= Thirty-One = (Chapter List)

Team JNC moved to an isolated table with their breakfast trays. Nora and Cardin took the seats across from Jaune, and the trio settled in for breakfast.

Jaune: (Between mouthfuls) So firstly we are going into Vale.

Nora: (Swallowing a rather large bite of pancakes) Why?

Jaune: I need some stuff from the Classic, and you two need a new wardrobe. Preferable stain resistant.

Cardin: (Taking a sip of coffee) We're going clothes shopping?

Jaune: Yes.

Cardin: Why? I mean, we already have combat outfits.

Jaune: The skirt.

Nora: What's wrong with my skirt?

Jaune: Besides that, it's impractical?

Nora: (Eyes narrow)Yes.

Jaune: The wrong move and you'll be flashing everyone your panties...

Nora: I wear boy shorts.

Jaune: And it offers no protection... to your nether region.

Nora: I don't understand that statement. It's huntress quality.

Jaune: You don't understand. If you get knocked down, it won't prevent (makes a whistling sound and a hand gesture with his index finger going up into the air.)

Nora: Huh?

Cardin: Seriously? They would do that?

Jaune: They would. It has happened before, up at the Cabin. It happened to... Kelly.

Cardin: That's brutal and disturbing.

Nora: I still...

Cardin: You definitely need to lose the skirt.

Nora: Why?

Jaune: You need to protect your cooch. (Nora's face goes pale) Because they will try. Believe me, they will. (Swallows the last bite of his breakfast.) And both of you need backups.

Nora: I don't...

Jaune: Listen. Who here has fought these things before?

Nora/Cardin: You.

Jaune: Damn right. So if I tell you, you need backups, you need backups. Deadites can be tricky, and they have disarmed me before, so you both need something extra just in case that happens to you.

Cardin: Okay, so what do you suggest?

Jaune: Both of you should at least carry like a machete or something similar. Something you can lop heads or limbs off with. You (points at Cardin with his fork) could use a ranged option, as well.

Cardin: Really? I get the knife, but a gun as well?

Jaune: If we get rushed by a pack or horde, the more we can take down without having to start swinging weapons around, the better chances we have to survive. It doesn't have to be fancy, just effective. You (Points to Nora) all ready have a good ranged option, but you need to adjust. Less smoke, more boom.

Nora: I think I can manage that.

Jaune: Good finish up, and then we hit Vale.

/==/ 45 Minutes Later - Vale /==/

Cardin: What the hell is this?

Jaune: (Petting the top of his yellow car) This is the Classic, the Delta 88. This baby and I go a long way back, and she's gotten me out of more than one scrape.

Cardin: It looks like a pile of... Omph

Nora: (Withdrawing her elbow from Cardin's gut) Don't.

Cardin: Why... oh... okay.

They both watch as Jaune gently runs his hands over the roof and hood of his car, while whispering so low they couldn't hear what he was saying.

Cardin: So what's first?

Jaune: Huh? What?

Nora: Clothes or weapons first?

Jaune: Clothes.

[vinylspinning]

Black Sabbath: Cross Purposes (1994)

Over 30 years since its justly overlooked release, most discussions about Black Sabbath's 17th studio album, Cross Purposes, seem to revolve around the question of whether it's, in fact, any good, or even worth the precious breath expended to discuss it.

And despite how I ranked it in this Ultimate Classic Rock list, which, as always, took into account my editors' perfectly valid opinions, I personally believe this is, pound for pound, the worst LP ever recorded by heavy metal's godfathers.

Not by much, mind you, but after reacquainting myself with this depressing fiasco via the newly released and remastered Anno Domini vinyl box set (why not just call it "The Dregs of Sabbath"?), I only feel validated in my point of view.

Recorded in the wake of Sabbath’s second, fan-frustrating falling-out with singer Ronnie James Dio, Cross Purposes featured a patchwork line-up matching charter members Tony Iommi and Geezer Butler with vocal pinch-hitter extraordinaire Tony Martin and former Rainbow drummer Bobby Rondinelli.

And yet, the buck ultimately stops with Iommi, so he must shoulder the blame (just as he deserves most of the praise, when things go well) for perplexing duds like "Psychophobia," "Evil Eye" (*) and even initially promising first single "The Hand the Rocks the Cradle," whose clumsy circular riffs sound like they were inspired by the era's prevalent groove- or nu-metal.

Just as bad (and twice as concerning), the painfully leaden, listless tandem of "Virtual Death" and "Cardinal Sin" suggest Sabbath had forgotten how to doom, and the ensuing, two-tempo "Immaculate Deception" reinforces this by coming to life when it accelerates to a gallop.

The well-balanced "Back to Eden" is probably the only song I can't nitpick (maybe 'cos it almost sounds like Trouble -- the band), but along with other serviceable offerings like opening headbanger "I Witness," and the foreboding "Cross of Thorns," it still falls short of prior, superior Martin-fronted albums like The Eternal Idol and Headless Cross.

Speaking of the underrated Martin (it's not entirely his fault he sounds so much like Dio), it's his melancholy lullabies that carry the day on the aforementioned "Hand the Rocks the Cradle" and "Dying for Love," where longtime keyboardist Geoff Nicholls also tastefully frames Iommi's bluesy intro solo.

This vinyl reissue from the Anno Domini box tacks on a previously non-album outtake called "What's the Use?" as a bonus cut, but trust me when I say that never has a self-defeating title better explained WHY it was a non-album outtake to begin with (it's awful).

I mean, even Cross Purposes' cover art was plucked from some random stock photo library, because the Scorpions used an almost identical image for their 1991 single "Send Me an Angel."

So, unless you are a Sabbath completist like myself, save your money and avoid this convenient but still dubiously justifiable box set of Black Sabbath's least accomplished (except for the awesome Headless Cross), and most historically irrelevant releases.

* Apparently, that's none other than Eddie Van Halen dropping a few blazing solos into this song, but not even he can salvage it from mediocrity.

More Black Sabbath: Black Sabbath, Paranoid, Master of Reality, Vol. 4, Sabbath Bloody Sabbath, Sabotage, Technical Ecstasy, Never Say Die!, Heaven and Hell, Live at Last, Mob Rules, Live Evil, Born Again, Seventh Star, The Eternal Idol, Headless Cross, Dehumanizer, Forbidden, The Devil You Know, 13.