#CRITICISM IS IMPORTANT BABES

[idk-i-just-really-like-tsc]

Deleting fucking tiktok some person called izzie psychotic for having her ex husbands kids

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

read julius ceasar and good gravity i have several questions

[malusokay]

becoming a better student ₊˚⊹♡

Prepare for your classes ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Wake up on time. We don't want to be stressed first thing in the morning, right?

Eat breakfast. So you will be able to better focus in class.

Assigned reading and homework. Make sure you are prepared for your classes!! :)

Review your notes. Going through some of your flashcards before class is really helpful.

Check your bag and charge your devices. Ensure you have everything you need: Books, homework, chargers, pens, water...

In Class ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Listen and pay attention. You can save yourself a lot of trouble by simply paying attention, trust me.

Take notes. My favourite note-taking method is the Cornell method; I can make a separate post on that!! <3

"Quick notes." If you struggle with note-taking, try taking quick and messy notes. You can clean them up once you get home!!

Engage. If you have any questions or don't understand something, make sure to ask!! Most teachers really appreciate students who speak up. :)

No distractions. Turn off your phone, no chatting, you'll be glad...

After class ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Finish your assignments as soon as you can. Go home, put on a cosy outfit, have a snack, and get working!! <3

Prepare flash cards. A great way of reviewing your notes, too... :)

Update your Study schedule. Write down any assignment and due dates, reading you must do, upcoming tests, etc...

Clean up your notes. Review them, highlight the important parts, and maybe even make them look cute!! :)

Don't avoid topics/Subjects you dislike. I know it is tempting, but you can't avoid them forever, so you might as well get them done

Structure and routine ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Goals and Priorities. Keep them realistic and manageable.

Time management. Having a set schedule makes studying less overwhelming; it takes some discipline but is so worth it!! <3

Develop a routine. Figure out what works best for you; I prefer studying in the morning or at night.

No "zero days". Even if you can only do a bit, do it!! NO. ZERO. DAYS.

Remember your goals. Dreams will keep you motivated; remind yourself of what you're working for!! <3

Self-care and balance ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Don't forget about your hobbies. You need to do things that make you happy, so make time for those things!!

Maintain a balanced diet. I know chocolates and junk are tempting, especially when you are busy studying all day, but you're not doing yourself any favours.

Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. 8 Hours. Non-negotiable.

Exercise regularly. Even if it's just a walk, put on some headphones, listen to music, and give yourself a break. <3

Care for your social life. Reach out to your friends, make plans, and keep in touch; a good work-life balance is critical!!

Romanticising ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Study dates. Meet up with your friends at a cosy cafe, discuss your work, and have some fun!! Studying doesn't have to be all serious all the time ;)

Silly Pinterest boards. Visualising your goals will help you find motivation!!

Music to set the mood. I have a bunch of playlists on my Spotify that might help!! <3

Cosy sweater and candles. The cosy Rory Gilmore vibes haha...

Getting a coffee before class. A little treat before things get serious... Simple pleasures, you know? :)

Babes, The hiatus is OVER, and I'm finally back!! I got a lot of asks on studying, burnout, and school in general, so I thought, why not start off with a little student guide?? I Hope October has been kind to you, and school hasn't been too overwhelming (though I know it, unfortunately, has been for many of you), and I'm glad to finally be back!! <33

As always, Please feel free to add your own suggestions and tips in the comments!!

✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩

[bivht]

Astrology Observations

😎Virgo moons are polite and respectful until you cross their boundaries. But people accuse them of being rude even when THEY were the ones put in a super uncomfortable situation

😎Aquarius and sagittarius placements are free-spirited. You tell them to do something and suddenly it’s an obligation rather than a choice and they don’t want to do it anymore lmao

😎Cancer risings and their low-key unhealthy relationship with food :0

😎Taurus is branded as the foodie of the zodiac but I think Sagittarius is the ultimate foodie

😎I like to see the moon sign as who a person is at their core. And the moon sign in your mercury persona chart is very insightful to how you express yourself.

for example:

Aries moon- expresses themselves passionately, perseverant, doesn’t give up easily, likes to keep things tidy, hard working, could be naggy, aggressive

Taurus moon- sweet and charming way of talking, logical, doesn’t like believe anything without concrete evidence, self care, words of affirmation, has definitive personal boundaries, slow down when you’re eating babes, when they’re toxic they’re some of the worst kinds of toxic

Gemini moon- domicile (home sign), real sweet talkers, witty, critical thinking skills on point, charmers, just the right amount of flirty, know how to talk themselves out of a situation, scatterbrained, PERFORMERS

Cancer moon- sweet, will remember your birthday, wants to include everyone, confused easily, overstimulated easily

Leo moon- humorous, dramatic af, will spread love to whoever gives them attention, gives their love to everyone, critical thinking not their forte

Virgo moon- domicile, polite, respectful, knows how to remain professional in awkward situations, hates the feeling of being stuffed full?? 7/10 full is sufficient for them, due to this they’re usually slim, “perfect” self expression, neat and tidy, expresses gratitude for every tiny thing, eats slowly, critical thinking on point, extremely private (esp. about relationships)

Libra moon- diplomatic, likes to agree, charming, soft and sweet but also vengeful, avoids confrontation, talks shit behind backs instead of addressing issue directly with person

Scorpio moon- opinionated, probably a coffee addict, death stares at people they dislike, private but not the same as virgo, virgos tell you things but won’t go into detail, scorpios just won’t tell you. so fiercely loyal, their charm is fatal

Sagittarius moon (detriment)- happy, seems like they’re always having fun, don’t take themselves too seriously, charmers, funny facial expressions, stuff themselves full. they DEVOUR food, tendency to overindulge so can be chubby cheeked, struggle to articulate themselves in a professional manner, hates being nagged, lacks critical thinking, they get bored easily so consistency is an ongoing struggle, can be flirty

Capricorn moon- logical, down to earth, realistic, charming, articulate, their smart little jokes, a bit reluctant to try new things but they will, loves feeling in control (more than anyone else), really patient, consistency is key, can be rude and dry, may make shy, insecure people shifty

Aquarius moon- they talk in a very self-important way, very recognisable tone of voice, an intellectual, research whore, likes to share their found knowledge with people, lecture people, full of themselves

Pisces moon (detriment)- ehhem OVERSHARER to the T, silly humour, a bit unreasonable as they don’t follow logic, poor critical thinking skills, either super empathetic or lacks any empathy, can be flirty

😎More of an assumption but Leo+Virgo (and/or taurus)= hating slimy and mushy textures like eggplant, okra, durian

😎Chiron in the 6h can be obsessed with hygiene and cleanliness. My brother has this and he will not eat from the same spoon or drink from the same straw as anyone else, not even his own mother. He’s criticized and scolded by his mother because of this

😎A mother with 10h mercury is scrutinizing their childrens’ speaking abilities and how they interact with people in public

😎Aries mars has a fit looking body

😎People with sun 1h in the mars persona chart can seem really athletic

😎Sometimes individuals with neptune hard aspects (esp. square) are accused of having a mental illness (bullied)

😎Mars square neptune is a really anxious placement. Their panic is so clear on their face. They get really nervous about things more than others. Their intentions are confusing and people find it hard to figure out what your intentions for your actions are

[maxlarens]

🩷 x Lando coffee shop/bookstore date plz

ohhh so gorgeous i love this immediately

You sigh, back pressed into the sturdy wood of the bookshelf, paper coffee cup warming your hands, “I don’t get it, Lan. How can you not love them?”

Across from you, trailing his fingers across the spines of the books on the T shelf, Lando shrugs, “I dunno, babe. They’re—”, he cuts you a sideways glance, a little wary maybe, “The words blur. ‘S not fun.”

You suck your teeth, feeling shame gnawing at your insides. You know he’s dyslexic, you feel a little bad that he’d had to remind you— a little bad that you’re sort of disparaging him for not reading. It’s just that books are integral to you. Completely unable to be separated from your very existence, your childhood, your adulthood so far. It’s sort of unfathomable to you that Lando doesn’t read, though you know for good reason—

“Hey,” he says, moving into your space, drawing your attention as he does so, “Stop freaking out.”

You frown, “I’m not.”

He makes a face. Eyes wide, almost rolls them and his mouth puffing out with trapped air for a moment. Like he’s calling you ridiculous without actually saying it.

“You are.”

“Hush,” you say, trying to swat his chest but ending up with a palm flat on the fabric of his t-shirt, “‘M sorry. I was being pretentious.”

Lando laughs, a breathy thing. He reaches for your shoulder, his blunted nails scratch there in an attempt to soothe you.

“Mate,” he properly rolls his eyes now, the nickname, usually reserved for friends, not girlfriends— betraying his frustration at your criticism of yourself.

Secretly, you like it. Makes you feel closer to him. Not like some potentially replaceable fling he’s having, and more like someone who knows him, cares for him, is connected to him in significant, important ways.

Regardless, you gripe, “Don’t call me mate,” then you sigh, manoeuvring your coffee so you can wind one arm around his middle, “I was being pretentious. Not everyone devours books like they’re running out of time.”

Lan pulls you to him, his firm chest flat against yours, his chin resting against your head. He turns, presses a kiss to your hairline.

“Sweetheart,” he says, a twinge of exasperation to it, “It’s one hundred percent fine, I promise.”

You sniff, more annoyed at yourself than anything, but trying to forget the mishap, “I’ll read to you? How’s that sound.”

Lando hums, you feel it against your ear, sending shivers down the length of your back, “Yeah, babe. That sounds perfect.”

i really like doing these little conversations/moments in a setting. i know its not super shippy but it’s a fun little vehicle to get some thoughts out about something or explore how an interaction might go. hope u guys are enjoying them!

[pinkbeanii]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚𝓓𝔂𝓮𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓗𝓲𝓼 𝓗𝓪𝓲𝓻˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

-an unconventional date night w/ jongseob-

A/N: inspired by @soulseobie and their Soul one shot, also @kisseobie made the og prompt. This is my first time posting my writing to tumblr so please be nice!! Constructive criticism is welcomed!

Warnings: mentions of wandering hands but entirely sfw, pet names (baby, babe, beautiful, sweetheart), like two-ish kisses but no details, shirtless jongseob but no description

It doesn't matter if you have experience or not with hair, Jongseob trusts you implicitly.

He has so much confidence that even if you have no clue what you're doing it'll turn out okay, and if not then-

“it's just hair baby, it'll grow out eventually!”

Seobie is pretty laid back about the color, obviously he has opinions but yours are more important to him.

Definitely wants to go with you to get supplies, and he's attached to your hip the whole time. It's fun honestly, how involved he wants to be.

"what about this one babe? think I could pull off neon green?"

"oooo, they have rainbow bowls! we have to get some!"

"do you think we'll need a hair treatment for after?"

Very insistent on paying, saying that it's his hair you're doing and it's the least he can do. Tbh, hair stuff can be pretty expensive so you really aren't complaining.

Once you have all the supplies and your space is set up (covered in paper and plastic wrap as to not stain anything) Jongseob is practically bouncing in excitement.

He's gotten his hair done before, obviously, but it's his baby who's doing it this time, ofc he's excited!

Jongseob is dressed in some random old band tee of his, and forced you to wear one as well. It doesn't matter if you were wearing stuff you didn't mind getting dye on, he insists on his shirt.

"no, this is not just bc I like how you look in my clothes, I just don't want you to get dye on your pretty outfit!"

[It definitely is, and he is absolutely pouting when you accuse him of it]

Assuming his hair is already blonde (it is at the time of writing this) you guys start with color right away. He wants to be surprised, so he doesn't even look while you're mixing the color or applying it.

He's very chatty the whole time, still feeling excited and energetic. Which was cute and sweet at first, but he kept moving his head, causing you to mess up in certain areas and get dye places it really shouldn't be.

"babe, you gotta stop moving, I got dye on your neck again!"

"I'm sorry! I'll try not to."

He tries his best not to move too much, but as you finish up the back and move to the front, the moving becomes touching.

Seobie is normally pretty touchy with you, but as nice as his hands feel running up and down your thigh, it's also really distracting.

His hands don't wander too much, he really doesn't want to disturb you! But it's an unconscious thing, his hands just gravitate to your skin whenever they have a chance.

If you point it out he'll get kinda sheepish-

"oh, I didn't realize. your skin is just so soft and warm!"

When you're applying near the roots of his hair, towards his scalp, he gets shivers from the cool temperature. No matter how many times you get your hair dyed, it's always a weird feeling to have goopy dye on your scalp

As you get to his bangs and move in front of him, he gets an idea.

It's pretty obvious, at least to you, when Jongseob has a plan to do something, but being so immersed in applying the dye you didn't notice.

Just as you finish painting a stripe of dye, he pulls you fully onto his lap. Hands gripping your hips making sure you can't squirm out of his reach.

"JONGSEOB!"

"what? I want you here with me, isn't it easier than trying to stand?"

"you could have given me some warning, and what if I'd gotten dye on you? and I don't think that-"

*kiss*

"I want you here, please."

Not being able to say no to his pleas, and feeling quite comfortable in his lap, you stay seated.

Finishing up the front was easy. Using your gloved hand you massage any left over dye into his hair, making sure every strand is coated.

With your hands in his hair Jongseob relaxes even more, leaning into your touch and letting out a whine when you stop-

"felt good, keep going?"

Ofc you indulge him for a while longer, he's so sweet when he asks so it's only natural.

After finally pulling your hands out of his hair and removing your gloves, you hand him the neon orange shower cap he'd insisted on at the beauty store.

Seobie smiles when you turn around, the neon shower cap stretched over his head. He reaches for you again, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you between his legs.

"wanna play switch while this sets?"

After about 30 minutes the timer you'd set rings, signalling that it was time to wash out the hair dye.

You both got settled in the bathroom. Jongseob on the floor, upper body resting against the bathtub, neck stretched so his head was over the tub.

You tucked a rolled towel under his neck, hoping it would help lessen the uncomfortable feeling. Seobie gave you a thumbs up-

"thanks beautiful, feels fine don't worry."

You both thanked the universe that the shower head was detachable, and began the rinsing process.

Jongseob relaxed as your hands entered his hair again. He'd always had a soft spot for you playing with his hair, something you used to your advantage whenever you could.

As you worked to rinse his hair water splashed around, landing everywhere. No matter how hard you tried to minimize it, the water had a mind of its own.

By the time you were halfway done the floor outside the bathtub was damp and so was Jongseob, mostly his shirt. Which he promptly took off as soon as you gave him a break to sit up.

Seobie balled up the tshirt and tossed it up to the counter, turning to you shamelessly.

Ofc you'd seen him like this before, but it still left your face hot and needing to look away.

"what's got you so shy sweetheart, nothing you haven't seen before."

This boy... He's just... Cocky isn't the right word, but it was more than confidence. Maybe comfortable is a good word for it. He knew he was safe with you, so being shirtless didn't leave him feeling "exposed"

Once you got ahold of yourself it was time to continue rinsing.

It took quite a bit before the water ran clear, during which you took advantage of your position to occasionally glance at the shirtless boy under you. No matter how many times you'd seen him, it was still a very pretty sight.

When the dye had been fully rinsed out you pulled Seobie to sit up, plopping a dry towel over his head and drying his hair gently.

Neither of you felt like using a hair dryer, so once his hair was mostly dry, tho still slightly damp, you helped him stand.

"ready to show me babe?"

Covering his eyes you walked him in front of the mirror-

"3,2,1!"

Jongseob looked at his new hair with a wide smile, turning his head side to side, admiring it.

After a thorough appreciation of your hard work, he turned to you and gently held your face-

"it looks absolutely perfect baby, knew you could do it!"

His words left your face hot again, making him giggle at your sudden shyness. In turn, he peppered your face with kisses, light pecks scattered everywhere, ending with a sweet kiss to your lips.

An overall enjoyable experience, with a fun outcome. Seobie would definitely ask you to do it again next time he wanted a change.

Thanks for reading!! I hope this was enjoyable, the plot and idea kinda got away from me at times, but I had fun writing it!

Also, in my head the colour would be like a pinky orange, bc I love Seob's orange hair (let's be real, I love all his hair colors) and my favorite hair color on me is pink, so therefore: pinky orange lol

[zackius]

Adam SMUT HEADCANON

(It's my first work and English is not my native language, be indulgent and correct me if the grammar is bad lol)

It’s quite Adam with his virginity kink than his general smut headcanon lol

This man has a HUGE kink on virginity, if you're not one he would not really pay attention, he understands that you had fun before him, I mean, everyone’s kinda hot here lol.

However, if you are one, oh boy yes, this man is going crazy

Understand him he has abandonment issues, even if you can't really tell at first, he was really broken when Lilith AND Eve left him for another man.

He just wants to be important to someone and the only one and this goes through virginity.

NOBODY touched you? No man or woman? He's the first and only one who's going to see, touch, and please your body? This drives him CRAZY

You didn't fuck before actually being in a relationship with him, you seemed quite negative about that and he respected your boundaries, he didn't want to rush it all because he loves you.

Nevertheless, when you got officially into the relationship, of course, the subject was going to happen naturally.

So one day, you were together, laying on his belly and watching a comedy while criticizing it: "I fucking understand why this man broke up with this stupid bitch ! Sex is important as fuck ! I'm on his side !"

He was getting angry as always and continued to shout but froze up when he saw your blushing face, avoiding any eye contact with him. He kinda messed up and stuttered "B-Babe that's not what I meant ! Yeah it's important but I'm not a fucking dickhead I can wait !"

You were staring at him in embarrassment " You know, I'm not against doing it, I'm just not ready since I never did that"

Now that's his turn to be red. His eyes widen as he watches you "fuckkk-"

"You should've told me before but damnn-" a smirk started to appear on his face, quite a pervert smirk in your opinion.

You didn't know if it was a big deal or not, you always wanted to wait for the right man and he's the one in front of you.

"Babe we're going to wait as long as your little body is going to be ready for me ~" he purred “Adam !” his arms moved slowly around your hips. His big hands on your smaller body, you skipped a breath

You haven't done anything this night but you noticed that this man was getting horny as fuck. It was not oppressive of course, he would not do that, he doesn't want you to see sex as a burden. Even if he's going to rail you and makes you cum again and again he's waiting for your consent.

So the day you inform you're ready, he's more than happy. He tries to be the most romantic lover possible even if it's quite awkard.

In reality, he just fucking googled how to please a virgin girl. He followed weird tips and put some rose petals on your bed and all. You couldn't help but laugh, he usually has his romantic side but it's not like THAT. It was quite too lovey-dovey but to be honest really cute from him.

he was VERY gentle, very different from everyday were he insult and fight with everyone.

In Adam's head, he was concentrated, he wanted to make it special so you remember that for the rest of your life and from your perception, it was working.

He thought your reactions were cute, "Gnnn, please-", you were reacting with each of his touch. Your body was warm and particularly red from excitation.

But boy, even if he was slow, he wanted to be inside and right now. He was really dominant, you could feel his body and weight on you, your size difference took a part of it.

He touched your panties as he can feel the wetness of it. His smirk appeared again, his breath got heavier. Now it's going to be interesting for both of you !

His touch went a little faster, moving on to your most private parts. He's the first one who's going to see it. He put you panties away and looked your dripping pussy "Ohooo You won't regret waiting babe"

Adam started to lick your inter thigh, humming. Rapidly his tongue found your clit, he licked, sucked and devoured your pussy like he was starving for days and found the most delicious plate in front of him.

And you could definitely tell that, because damn you were feeling pure bliss, your man knew how to please your body. “Yes- sweetie continue-“, you were caressing his head unconsciously

Your pleasure growth, your inside craving him as you moaned his name. You wanted to keep this sweet pleasure but he stopped, you let an annoyed moan from the lack of sensation

He let a deep laugh “don’t worry babe, your cunt is going to be filled and with something better”. You saw his dick and damn you understood why he always was bragging about it, it was massive. “Are you ready to feel the dick of the first man ?” You just let a moan of excitement and spread your legs wider. “That’s my good girl”, he finally pushed it inside of you. You felt pain, it was really big but when he saw you in pain, he stopped and gave a a soft smile.

He kissed you during a time and continued slowly.

It was quite painful but you didn’t want to stop, you were happy to do it with him and were okay with the pain.

However you started to feel some pleasure from it, your hips movements met his. Adam noticed and tried to keep this spot as much as possible. You felt like you were drunk, your head felt heavy “Adam-“

You squeezed around his dick “fuckkk, yes baby- your pussy feel so fucking gooood”. You wrapped your legs around him, scratching his back as he was fucking you.

You started to feel a bigger pleasure growing inside of you. You’re going to cum soon and he knew it. His thrust became faster, at this point you couldn’t stop any moan and just let yourself feel your man. “I got you babe, let yourself go, yes just like that”

He praised you and knew you were getting close “baby let me fuck you right, I can feel that you love my cock, you’re perfect for me “ you moaned as he continued to talk, he also was close “You’re mine and mine only, I’m the first and the last cock you’re going to feel aaah~, promise me that you’re mine oh fuckkk yesss-“

You stared to also praise him, his face went with pure bliss, his blushing got redder, he loved the way you talked to him, praise that baby please he just wants to be a good boy for you.

“Aaah yesss fucking shit, you’re fucking mine and mine only” his last sentence was the start of your orgasm, you felt yourself tightening , a warm liquid blending with his own while he was cummimg, moaning your name and pounding his sperm inside of you.

You were his and he was yours

—

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed ! I don’t really know how to feel since it’s my first fic lol

If you have any suggestion with ships and stories tell me !! And also if the voc I used is weird tell me 🙏

[rafeandonlyrafe]

rafe being an aggressive lover headcanons <3

words: 800

warnings: mentions of violence, rafe being controlling a bit lol

“i love you so much, baby. i would kill everyone on this fucking island for you.” you know he’s serious, but you can’t help the laugh that bursts out of you. rafe pouts, hands tightening on your hips. he goes to duck his head in slight embarrassment, but you stop him, “i love you too baby.” you kiss him. “while i don’t want you to kill anyone, i will definitely keep that in mind if someone is pissing me off.”

“if you don’t want to go, we don’t have to go.” rafe says, admiring your dress as you smooth it out in the mirror for the hundredth time, nervous about dinner with your parents tonight. they’ve never been the biggest fans of rafe, but what upsets you more is how overly critical your dad is of you. he never gives you a break, and rafe knows how his words cut like a knife. “if he starts that shit again, i will deck him in the fucking face.” you roll your eyes, but know rafe absolutely would do that for you.

rafe has been at your back all day, arms around your waist or hands on your hips. it’s cleaning day at the house, and you find it really satisfying to move room to room, organizing and sanitizing, but it’s a bit hard when you have a lovesick rafe following you around. “baby, ow.” you wince in pain as he squeezes you too tightly. rafe backs away quickly. “i’m sorry.” you turn around and wrap your arms around his shoulders. “it’s okay, handsome. just too tight.” you peck his lips. “i know, sorry, just wanna squeeze you until you pop.”

“you’re never allowed to leave me.” rafe says seriously. you roll your eyes as you swipe on your lipgloss. “honey, i’m not leaving, i’m literally just getting dinner with the girls.” rafe pouts as you grab your purse. “you’re going to be gone for hours.” rafe whines. “you’re not going.” you turn to rafe, placing your hands on your hips. “excuse me?” rafe shakes his head, holding firm, “you’re not going.” “i’m going.” you head for the door, but rafe grabs your hand. you interrupt him before he can speak, “and you’re coming too.” rafe gives you a puzzled glance. “i already told the girls that you’d be joining me.”

“call me every hour.” rafe says, kissing you again, moving slightly closer to the door. “rafey, aren’t you gonna be in meetings and stuff?” you ask. rafe has been putting off an important business trip for weeks, and it can’t wait any longer. he really wanted you to come with him, but you insisted you were fine to stay at your house, you’re an adult after all and it’s only three days. “doesn’t matter. let me know whenever you’re leaving the house, i’ll be watching the cameras.” rafe had cameras put up in all of the common spaces, coincidentally a couple of days before he left. “i will call you.” you nod. “annie is coming over tomorrow evening, and i will probably go to the grocery store when you’re on your flight back so i can make you dinner.” rafe kisses you, pauses to open the door, and kisses you again. you’re glad you convinced him to leave an hour early, knowing that rafe actually leaving the house always took forever.

you’re sitting in bed together, having spent the whole sunday just lazing around the house. rafe pulls you onto his lap, pressing your body close to his. his teeth suddenly sink into your bottom lip, making your eyes shoot open. rafe doesn’t let up, gently biting down on your lip, tugging it slightly. you moan against his mouth, letting him know how much you like it.

“chicken?” rafe asks, and you shake your head no, a sour look on your face. “pasta?” another shake of your head. “chips? ice cream? pretzels? baby, you have to eat something. pizza? i’ll order from any restaurant.” “raaaafe.” you stop him, “i’m just not hungry, babe. it’s fine.” rafe runs his hand through his hair, chest puffing up and down, “it’s not fucking fine, honey. you can’t just skip a meal.” rafe pauses, clenching and unclenching his fist. “are you sick? should we go to the doctor?” “not at all honey… why don’t we order in pizza? that sounds good.” rafe can easily tell that you’re lying, but if it’ll get you to eat, he doesn’t care.

“get down!” rafes sudden yell startles you, making you wobble on the ladder. rafe is quick to grab you, literally pulling you off your feet and into his arms. “what do you think you’re doing?” rafe shakes you. “rafe!” you let out a little squeal. rafe sets you down on the couch, pacing the living room, “do you know how easily you could have fallen? whatever you’re doing, next time wait for me to get home and let me do it okay? i can’t have you hurt.” he kneels down in front of you. “you scared me.” you whisper. “sorry, bunny.” he squeezes your knees. “but please, no heights. nothing even a little dangerous. i- i can’t lose you.”

[bookshelfdreams]

Saw a Take earlier today like "Ed stans have only 1 argument and it's accusing everyone who likes Izzy of being problematic" or something to that effect

and it made me think "Nah babe, you're not problematic. You're just wrong."

And then I thought. Huh. Why do I think that?

It's a perfectly respectable thing to read a text in a way it wasn't intended to be read. In fact, "reading against the grain", doing critical readings, shifting perspectives when engaging with a text - all of thee are important skills! You can, and should, do feminist, antiracist, postcolonial, queer, etc readings of texts that were never intended to be read that way. Hell, all fandom (often) is, is doing queer readings! Ask the text uncomfortable questions it doesn't want to answer!

However. It's pretty difficult to do a queer reading when the text already is a queer narrative. The questions you would ask the text if you did a queer reading, or a reading focused on gender roles, or similar things - those are questions the text is already actively exploring.

If you want to do a subversive reading of a text that is already quite subversive - what do you end up with?

"What's the story like from Izzy's perspective?" is a question ofmd deliberately doesn't focus too much on because Izzy's perspective is the default and ofmd wants to challenge that. There's a reason the angry white man is the antagonist in this show, and if you ask "Okay, but could he be right though?" you're missing the point.

Or rather, you're turning everything that's interesting about ofmd back around. You're asking "Okay, but why don't we focus on a white perspective that strictly adheres to oppressive power structures?" of a narrative who already asked itself this question and gave the answer "Because that's been done enough and there are other stories worth telling."

And I think people are aware of that, which is how we end up with completely bizarre takes like "Izzy has the only queer character arc". He hasn't, but he has the only arc that a queer reading can be done on - for everyone else it's text, plain and simple. Refusing to engage with that text in favour of centering Izzy is basically doing a heteronormative reading without being willing to admit it to yourself.

And no, interpreting Izzy as a queer man doesn't change that.

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Madhabi Mukherjee (Charulata, The Big City, The Coward)—Madhabi Mukherjee is legendary for her nuanced and sensitive performances in some of the classics of Bengali cinema particularly her roles in Satyajit Ray's films

Angela Lansbury (The Harvey Girls, The Court Jester, The Manchurian Candidate)—The babe, the myth, the legend. In her own words her early hollywood roles were "a series of venal bitches" and they were all glorious. Half of them wanted to kill you and you probably would have thanked them. She even goes toe to toe with Judy Garland in The Harvey Girls! That said, she was chronically underused and misused during this era - she was just 36 when she was cast as Elvis Presley's mother in Blue Hawaii and a few years later commented that she'd played so many 'old hags' that most people thought she was in her 60s. She thought she was "all talent, no looks" but she was the full package! Post-1970 I hope we all know what an incredibly talented and compassionate badass she was, but I feel like not enough people know her early roles as a hot (often villainous) young thing.

This is round 3 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Madhabi Mukherjee:

She played in some of the most critically acclaimed films in bengali cinema and she is an incredibly talented actress. Everybody should watch 'The Big City' she's so good in it!

Linked clip

Gifset 1

Gifset 2

Angela Lansbury:

"Angela Lansbury might not be where your mind goes first when you think of hot leading women, because she had a later career revival. But she began acting in the early 1940s after leaving London due to the Blitz. In the first couple decades of her film career she has an openness about her. She said she never really fit in with the Hollywood crowd and to me she gives off a friendly, untarnished vibe."

"Most of us know Angela Lansbury as old lady sleuth Jessica Fletcher, but it's important to know that she was smoking hot in her younger days as well as a damned fine actress. Although she didn't get lead roles until her early 40s, at 17 she was a supporting actress in films such as Gaslight (1944), National Velvet (1944), and The Picture of Dorian Grey, for which she won the Golden Globe for best supporting actress and was nominated for the Oscar. Even in her memorable performance as the manipulative mother in The Manchurian Candidate, she is listed as a supporting actress as she does not play the love interest. She was successful both on stage and screen, and won the Tony for her lead role in the musical Mame on Broadway in 1966. TL;DR While Angela Lansbury mostly played supporting roles in films before 1970, she had what it takes to be a leading actress, which we know from her success on stage and tv from the mid 60s onward"

"She looked like a princess but bit like a viper"

"Is there anything this woman couldn't do? Act in comedy and drama, sing, dance, be a wonderful human being - quite simply a true and wonderful lady."

"she is the fairytale princess of my dreams in court jester"

"god she had such an incredible career all throughout her life really but as a young lady she was just as incredible as she was in her later years. enchanting voice, amazing personality, and absolutely GORGEOUS. she lamented not having the looks to play leads in romance but that idea is so batshit because look at her??? she's one of the most terrific women of all time. also she's my grandmother's favorite actress and i truly get it"

[sincerelystesichorus]

let's talk about that one scene in oops

(and fizzarolli in general bc me and my autism r obsessed with this scene and haven't seen someone break it down. also ft. blitz lmao)

just a general scene and vague character breakdown/analysis!

i first of all want to admire the perfect representation of best friends to enemies with blitz & fizz because ugh.

And like Blitz tells everyone this but the way it's so malicious here. Just the perfect simple dig and Fizz's little shit eating grin because it delivered how he knew it would sdfkjsdkf. Shoves Blitz to the side because really that's all he cares to say. Fuck you and what you did to me, bye bye <3 Fizz is so for talking shit and dipping (House of Asmodeus) I love how messy it is but also shows how he really doesn't hold malice for Blitz otherwise. Obviously we see this front and center later in the episode once they start reconnecting, but I like the subtlety and how he's so willing to snap at Blitz despite his usual anxiety with confrontation.

Blitz also knowing exactly what to say to really piss Fizz off once things escalate <3

(Fizz literally so smug and content with himself lmfao)

(smirk wiped off bc hey that's the thing i'm sensitive about!!)

But Fizz keeps his composure. And if you'll let me be alarmingly gay for a second, I love how his version of keeping his cool as a messy gay is managing to basically recreate this drag race confrontation in what is probably my favorite set of Fizzie lines.

eat him up babes. also it's so important that that shitty coffee and fizz were on this side of the street for framing i'll talk about it more in a sec jfskjdfksf.

and now my personal favorite exchange of this entire scene that is criminally underrated imo:

love his face after this line. I SUPPORT DISABLED PEOPLES WRONGS sfjdlkfsdd. literally so fucking nasty with his clown wit but also so justifiable because yeah blitz did just pull this nightmare and dip in fizz's pov. i cannot wait for that to get touched on more likeeee why were they kept apart ugh.

and finally!!

this cut to blitz,, specifically the scarred side of his face is sooo good.

the face of a man who just achieved critical vicious mockery vs. the face of a man that knows he can only win this interaction one way now

Blitz does deserve a little violence maybe <3 Fizz underestimated his ass jjdkfsdlk.

Idk I just love how indicative this whole interaction is for their characters but especially Fizz, it's a perfect build-up for him. Fizz has major imposter syndrome with dual layers because of general haters but especially because of Mammon and Asmodeus. Not on any fault of Ozzie's,, we just see Fizz obviously thinks he isn't fully deserving of their relationship/his situation and the healthy dynamics of it and so do most major news outlets apparently askjfsk.

(full fizzy meme post & also i like how this is a special also like damn do u think they were also apart of the crossword??)

It'll be really interesting to see how his character develops in future episodes because I feel like a lot of what I've rambled about here has come to a resolution after 2 Minutes Notice in the musical special lmao. I really like how here when he goes to compose himself, this is how he does it.

Makes me wonder how many times him and Ozzie have had the self-worth and imposter syndrome conversation before it finally stuck in the Mammon Musical Special. I just love their relationship and how they compliment one another,, and how it projects into Fizz's other relationships because they're healthy for one another. Love my OTP love Blitz & especially love Fizzie. Obviously.

[ash-says]

This one is for my girlies who grew up in dysfunctional families.

Girls who don't know healthy love, care and affection. Girls who grew up watching fights, in violent and stressful environments, being picked on by their peers, their own family members.

Know that it's not your job to maintain peace, people please and accommodate yourself to other people's expectations.

Take this as a BLUNT reminder for yourself:

1) Have strong boundaries. Surprise. I know you read this a thousand times but before you eyeroll read this again.

2) Stand up for yourself. It might be scary but sometimes fighting back against your family can be helpful. Do it strategically. Don't rush in blindly. The main goal is survival afterall.

3) No doing drugs, self harm, compulsive relationships, casual sex, alcohol and many destructive, addictive and escapist behavior won't help you in rebelling against your family. What are you three years old???

4) Establish your relationship with God or whatever the hell you believe in. Have a strong belief system. That's the only way you can save yourself and keep yourself on track. Even if you deter on the wrong path it will swing you back. Trust me.

5) Form strong female friendships. PLEASE. Female friendships are literally holiness in disguise. My girls are my biggest assets. The amount of emotional intelligence and support a female can provide. Chefs kiss.

What ? You can't vibe with girls?? You are more of a girl who vibe with boys?? Girls are secretly jealous of you??

Okayyyyy... I am no one to criticize but I think we need to reassess somethings.

At least one female friend. Won't cost you a fortune. Will it???

(If you think you got no one around you. My inbox + Gossip Box is always open.)

6) Academic Validation>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Male validation. Always.

7) Exercise and work out. Woahh did not see it coming right. Well it's important because it helps you in calming down your mind and expressing those repressed energies. Any anger issues babe in the house?? Guess what it's the best outlet for all your angst.

8) This is for those girls who are into toxic households please find a way to get out of there. I won't suggest permanently cause I believe in mending things and parents are a crucial part of your life. But find a way to live your college life or at least two to three years of your life out of your hometown. A lot of things you will understand by yourself then. If you know. You know.

9) Sharpen your people and survival skills. I hate to say this but we are highly susceptible to attracting people who want to take advantage of us. So listen to your gut the next time it warns you against someone.

10) Tone down your intensity. Not everyone is trying to get you or attack you. Coping mechanisms are great they kept/keep you alive but make sure they won't create trouble for you. Keep them in check. Got it??

[megaderping]

I think the biggest issue with Naoto discussion is that there are so many intersecting perspectives with very strong feelings involved, and if a Persona 4 remake does happen, I fully suspect that Atlus is going to have their hands full figuring out how to handle the character in the modern day. First there's the cultural context of misogyny in the workplace and especially in the legal and justice systems in Japan, which informs Naoto's character a lot. It is important to consider this, as this was a Japanese game made in 2008 at a time where queer visibility wasn't nearly as prominent, but that alone doesn't invalidate criticism to the arc's execution, regardless of creator intention. A big point of contention is how the arc was handled. Specifically the way it uses talk of body alteration procedures, surgical equipment, and treats the idea of transition as scary. If you consider how draconian the laws behind legally transitioning in Japan are, you can perhaps make a case for why it might cause Naoto internal conflict as complete surgical transition/sterilization/diagnosis were all requirements at the time of the game's development and only recently were declared unconstitutional. Though, as this excellent video pointed out, it's possible this was meant to be a reference to the story Flowers for Algernon, given the weapon you get if you return there later. However, even if that was the intent, transgender people exist in Japan and have since well before Persona 4, and anime such as The Dirty Pair aired in the 80's with very progressive takes on transness. It's very unlikely that the team behind Persona 4 was completely unaware of queer issues and symbolism, given that Persona 3 had that infamous transphobic joke in the original version's babe hunt.

The Dirty Pair, a 1985 anime that was surprisingly progressive.

I think the issue, more than anything, is that the tropes at play don't exist in a vacuum and what comes after Naoto's dungeon raises a lot more red flags. Jokes about Naoto's chest size, the narrative framing Kanji's crush as only acceptable after the reveal, on top of the uncomfortable execution of the romance route in Naoto's Social Link. You get so much "Naoto is actually a girl" in a way where it's other characters talking about/over Naoto, which is what really makes the framing off putting to a lot of people, myself included. And it's not even that you can't do an arc about a female character fighting against prejudiced preconceptions in the criminal justice field without controversy, because Persona 5 pulled this off far less contentiously.

Sae Niijima deals with many similar themes but doesn't seem nearly as contentious, and I think a large part of that is due to Sae openly presenting as a woman from the start. The game openly depicts the misogyny from Sae's superiors and coworkers, such as how she's unmarried and fighting an uphill battle for success in a male-dominated field. Persona has toyed with these ideas in the aftermath of Persona 4 and even when revisiting older titles. Persona 2 went back and added the character of Shiori Miyashiro in the PSP release, a lady detective who has a lot in common with Naoto (e.g. knowingly endangering oneself to get the truth behind a supernatural case). It's also astonishing that we have Lala Escargot in Persona 5, which also had that infamous gay couple that played into horrible stereotypes that were only slightly fixed in royal's international release. Lala, whether trans or a drag queen, is given surprising respect, and her identity is never called into question. A Persona 4 remake could learn from this and cut back on the characters asserting what Naoto feels, what Naoto "really is," etc, and let Naoto and Naoto alone decide. Ultimately, Naoto means different things to different people, and these things can carry great personal weight and importance. Many trans and nonbinary Persona fans see themselves in Naoto. Others favor Naoto as some flavor of gnc or find Naoto embracing femininity and detective work empowering. I think the problem is that when this topic comes up, there's a lot of hostility. Trans fans and people who favor trans Naoto get told to shut up at best, and at worst get hit with shit tons of transphobia and gross conduct. On the other hand, I don't think people who prefer more canon-compliant depictions of Naoto are inherently malicious. It's how they approach these discussions and treat people that makes a difference. Just because someone uses she/her for Naoto doesn't mean they're being intentionally transphobic, but I totally get people wanting to avoid material that uses those pronouns all the same. I also don't think people are wrong to be uncomfortable with the resolution of Naoto's arc in canon. I think people who get upset when fanworks go with trans or NB interpretations of Naoto could stand to be more empathetic, as a lot of those fanworks come from people who connected to Naoto and want to explore what could've been. I don't think more canon-compliant fanworks are inherently malicious either, but no one is obligated to stick around works or spaces that make them feel uncomfortable. Tbh, I'm just wondering what Atlus will do. Persona 3 Reload removed that one transphobic joke during the babe hunt in all languages. Persona 5 Tactica had male marriage fantasies for Joker. I think Atlus is trying to be more inclusive, but Persona 3 Reload also kept Toriumi's crush on the protagonist and Chihiro defending student-teacher romances, so it's really unclear how much of Persona 4's more divisive aspects will be retooled. Because it's not just Naoto. Persona 4 has a lot of aspects that haven't aged well, like all the jokes about Kanji being predatory if he's attracted to guys, or Kashiwagi being creepy toward students, or the fatphobia with Hanako while Ebihara's past of being overweight is treated with more sympathy. I love Naoto and Persona 4, but I also think it's important to be able to criticize elements of the game that could be executed better.

[stationintern]

Hello all!

This month was, truly, a beautiful month for me reading-wise. The birds were chirping, I found smut that made me sweat, and I revisited some old favorites. Let's jump right in. I am so excited to share these with you. (Hence why I am posting this a day early.)

Strap in!

Dwelling On Dreams by @the-sinking-ship for H/D Big Bang 2021, 135k, E

I reread this fic this month, and it was just as delicious as I remembered. There are aspects of this fic that felt burned into my memory, so it came as a shock to me when I realized that the last time I'd read this fic was over a year ago. Everything about it feels so vivid. Harry's magic, his raw sexual energy. Draco's ability to make me scream at my phone and throw a mini temper-tantrum. I love flashbacks, and this fic has them in abundance. If you're looking for a thick read with complex characters and an interesting case to solve, look no further!

Hear Me Out by @rainstormradish for @dronarryfest 2024, 5.2k, E

I am pleased to announce that I have officially bought my ticket and jumped on the Dronarry train. You've all convinced me. This fic, in particular, is what really got the ball rolling. This was... immaculate. When I said I found smut that made me sweat, I MEANT IT. I had to, like, physically reconnect with my limbs after I read this. A bit of fake dating to start you off, and it only gets better from there.

The Way You Say My Name by InnerLilith 5.3k, E

Ya'll ever just bark at your phone? Sometimes, a girl just wants to read about Harry Potter going absolutely bonkers over Draco Malfoy calling him sweet little names. Very hot, very important to me.

Please hold. Your call is very important to us./Bloodlust and Bureaucracy by @goblinmatriarch 5k, T/8.5k E

DOUBLE FEATURE! I love the smell of wizarding bureaucracy in the morning. What a little world you have built! Authors who can create a new little piece of the wizarding world to explore mean the world to me. Very interesting in regards to how the medical system in the wizarding world relates to its real-world counterparts. Also, some biting action. Very smart, very hot.

Crossed Wires by @skeptiquewrites 11k, E

Critics are raving. "Literally ripping up the wallpaper in my home," says one reviewer. "Gnawing at the bars of my enclosure," says another. Bureaucracy lovers win forever and ever. Also, Draco gets to wear many suits. Harry Potter the reluctant politician. I couldn't have wished for more.

Our Objective Remains Unchanged by @citrusses 46k, E

BOATS, REPRESSION, MORE BOATS, EDGING (for sports purposes), EVEN MORE REPRESSION, AND WILL YOU BELIEVE ME IF I SAY THERE'S MORE BOATS. I don't know how you've done it, but you've managed to parallel the epic highs and lows of college rowing with the literal wizarding war. If that isn't talent, I don't know what is babe.

Truth or Dare? by @lettersbyelise 3.4k, E

There is truly nothing more intimate than jerking off your childhood rival while a party goes on around you. THAT, my friends, is the key to post-war, inter-house unity.

Borrowed Time by @the-starryknight for @dronarryfest 2024, 7.6k, E

Oh this was fire. What do you know about body swapping threesomes? Would you like to know more? Yes. Yes, you would.

Alrighty, I think that's all for now, folks. Very thankful to be in a fandom with so so so many talented people. You all blow my mind. Here's to another month of fantastic fiction!

See ya!

XX, Moon

[ioniansunsets]

✖ Hwei Painting Reader ✖

✖ Hwei Painting Reader ✖

✖ Word Count: 1.5k

✖ Tags: Established R/S

✖ A/N: I've seen all the voicelines and read his content we ARE HWEI LUKAI SIMPS NOW LETS GO BABES!!!!!!!! I still can't believe this took 3 days to write because I kept re-reading and re-writing things to try to make it less OOC.

I also super kin him as a college student in an arts school. Yes my love, lets stay up to 11am rushing an uninspired assignment together surviving off coffee and instant noodles. Oh no am I triggering a school au thought for Hwei.....maybe......

Oh more art student thoughts, I headcanon his paintings to be like Henri Matisse! He is a Fauvist! I know for a fact !This man will use every single color that exists to paint his world just as he imagines it, who cares what his teachers say! That green stripe on his lover's forehead is meant to be there! Fuck the critics!

----

You had been sitting here for an hour by now, Hwei telling you how badly he wanted to- No. Needed to capture your beauty in the orange hues of the setting sun.

How inspired he was seeing you walk past the window in his studio as you two returned from a walk. The way the light glows as it hit your hair, how your body silhouetted against the glass, the way the shadows cast on the floor just was so perfect in framing sanctity of the moment.

Slowly Hwei walks over, hands soft as they feel your face. Gently, the tips of his fingers trail down from your eyes to your cheeks and finally stopping at your lips. His three favorite parts of your face, all so important in showing him your emotions.  An almost lamentable smile crossing his face as he looks down and walks back to the canvas situated slightly further away. You could usually understand him but, sometimes you wish you could understand what darkness held him back.

" I'm always blessed to have such a masterpiece like you love me. How such beauty flourishes besides my despair."

Hwei pauses, thinking of the right words. His hand rising to rest on his chin as he looks around, everywhere but you.

" It eludes me. Yet, it fills me with such honor at the same time."

Hwei speaks to you soft, voice trailing off as he thinks, slowly nodding. The lightest of pink undertones suddenly rising to his cheeks as he thinks again about what he just said.

Oh how he so dearly appreciates your bright existence in his life. Eyes not daring to meet your own for his heart is already threatening to explode just from that brief touch earlier. Emotions were always such an important part of art, he cherishes how you inspire him this way, just seeing your beauty in the world fills him with image after image to paint and bring to life.

You however, notice anyway, his feelings that he tries to hide away from you. The way the colors in his eyes change, another telltale sign of the way you affect him. Your own cheeks now dusted with the same soft pink on his.

You smile, sitting still on the window sill, a soft glow from the setting sun illuminating you from behind as you watch your lover paint. A sight that never stops amazing you, the way his magic throws colors onto the canvas, mixing together to create such visually stunning images, you were so sure those purples and greens don't exist in shadows yet somehow you know he would make it look like the rainbows were there all along.

" You know I only shine this bright because you care for me so, Hwei."

" Ah... Don't flatter me this way, your beauty is your own. I can never make something that really captures your brilliance on a canvas like this. But alas, I believe I have the skills to at least capture my emotions for you down in this one."

You watch on, another hour had passed. The sun had long set, instead, the moonlight and soft glow of the lamp overhead lights up your partner's features as the corners of his lips curl up into a smile. Unable to hold back his excitement as the empty canvas slowly fills up with color and form. His hands gracefully gliding across the scene, you watch how his clothes move around him, how the shadows move on his exposed collar as his arm raises to work. His hair bouncing behind him as he paces around, making sure he views you from every angle, catching all the important details to this moment. His eyes darting back and forth from your form to his canvas. After a while, the finishing touches finally placed, he steps back and gives a relieved sigh. He was usually so hard on himself to create perfection, but when it comes to a portraiture of you, he can't help but agree he made a masterpiece. You were stunning, so anything made in your image was stunning to him too.

" Take a look."

Hwei walks to your side, hand out for support as you held onto it and hopped off the windowsill. He guides you to the canvas, hand gently resting on the dip of your lower back. Eventually he moves to stand behind you, resting his head on your shoulder, arms now around you in a hug from behind. You can feel his anxiety, the silence in the air heavy as you carefully consider his work, a slight tremble in his grip around your waist. Of course, you only have good things to say about it, he's an art prodigy if you've ever seen one. Avant Garde work but undeniably breathtaking. As you finally look at the completed work in front of you, you were pleasantly surprised to see how once again, he left your breathless with just how he sees you.

" I can't lie Hwei, this is amazing. Everything you make is amazing to me I could never wield colors the way you do. To think that this was how you saw me."

As you speak you can feel him heat up against your back, his head slowly tilting down as he hides his face into the crook of your neck. His art of you was just one of the small ways he tries to show you his love.

" Thank you."

He whispers softly into your skin. You giggle softly, reaching up to rest your hand against his. After placing a soft kiss on the corner where your clothes meet your skin, he pulls away to stand in front of you, eyes finally meeting yours as you catch sight of gold flecks floating across his irises. He was so visibly happy to just be here, to see you happy with his work. Hwei takes a deep breath. Calming himself as he looks at you, taking in the sight of you in front of him, you can tell how his thoughts were flooding him as the two of you stood there in comfortable silence before he finally speaks.

" My dear, you bring out the light in me no matter how much it dims.

How you seem to quell that darkness is beyond me. I see so many colors when I'm with you...

The reds of your passionate love, the soft yellow of your happiness when were together, the lingering orange of comfort that you have around me all the time. And that is not even touching the blues and purples when you watch me work with amazement."

Hwei reaches out to you, one hand caressing your cheek while the other reaches around your waist to pull you in. You laugh, watching how his eyes swirl, reds fading into yellows briefly before oranges transform before your eyes into cool blues and purples as he describes you, his usually melancholic smile warping into a warm bright one.

Your heart begins to race, something about how the shadows on his face visibly lighten with his smile, paired with the excitement bubbling out of him as he exposes his precious thoughts to you. How you wish you had a way to capture this moment just as he did by painting you.

He leans forward slowly, resting his forehead against yours as his gaze casts downwards, watching your lips, taking in the curve, the way it moves as they part to breathe. He was just so taken in by you.

" May I kiss you?"

He asks, barely a whisper, somehow still seemingly uncertain in this partnership that you two have had for so long. His gaze slowly moving back up to your eyes as he awaits your answer.

" I am forever baffled by how you always ask first. You know I'd always welcome your love."

You offer him a soft chuckle, the sparkle in your eyes further reassuring him of your sentiments.

You could never say no to his sweet affections, he was always so careful with you, so gentle, so soft. You were but the most precious thing in his life after all, a blindingly bright beacon of hope in his darkest hours. A stunning jewel of ever changing colors in the light of his mundane existence. If the painting that sits at arms length from you is a testament to anything, you knew he was oh so in love with you.

Hwei lets out a small laugh of his own.

" I just like the reassuring comfort of your answer."

As he finishes his sentence, he leans forward, closing that tiny gap between your lips. You smile into the kiss, you can't help it, the feeling of his dry, chapped lips against yours was so endearing. You note to remind him to hydrate later, almost forgetting how he just spent two hours non-stop painting you with fervent passion.

As he pulls away, Hwei holds you closer to him, pressing your body against his in a tight hug. A satisfied sigh escaping him.

" I love you."

" I love you too."

[heavyhitterheaux]

Got Me Thinking

Part 6: Don't Make it Harder On Me

Synopsis: You and Jack have to deal with the aftermath of your paparazzi pictures being posted for the world to see, and Jack finds out you weren't coping as well as he thought you were

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Series Masterlist

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

After Jack had put your phone on the bedside table, he turned his attention back to you and he knew that he needed to get you to calm down before you sent yourself into a panic attack which he could tell that you were on the verge of.

“Baby….” He calmly said as he moved you to sit on this lap and simply wrapped his arms around you in the hope that you would stop shaking.

“Shh, just breathe. Take a deep breath for me because the last thing we need is you going into a panic attack.” He quietly told you as he placed several kisses on your cheek, but you were still in a daze.

“This is bad. This is really bad.” You said quietly as tears welled up in your eyes before turning your head to glance at him.

“It's going to be fine, babe. Trust me.” Jack told you and you immediately shook your head no.

“No, it's not. It can't be fine. They have pictures of us. I told you we should have come inside and now look.”

“All this is going to do is…”

“No. In the end, you're going to be fine because it's you. Your fans love and adore you and you can do no wrong in their eyes. And the most important part is you're a man. I however am going to be seen as the homewrecking whore who broke up a marriage.”

“No, you won't. Just… I'm going to fix this.”

“Jackman please stop talking for five minutes because how the HELL are you going to fix this? Give me details.”

“I… but you told me to be quiet.”

You knew that he was trying to make you laugh and put you in a better mood, but you couldn't help but to roll your eyes as you started playing with the comforter that was laying across your lap.

“There are just some things that you are never going to experience or have to deal with because you're a man while women get criticized for breathing too hard. They are always going to paint me as a bad person and Kelsey as an innocent angel who didn't deserve any of this despite her cheating on you first that she will probably deny until she's blue in the face. And did we forget how I'm an influencer and I actually have a following on social media with actual endorsement deals that I could lose simply because of what my name is now going to be attached to?”

“I know we can figure something out. I know you're scared but I refuse to lose you over this. Now when we get back, we both need to file for divorce.”

“Only if Xavier and Kelsey haven't done it already.” You muttered as you grabbed your phone and started scrolling through it.

You were surprised that there wasn't even a call or a text from him because you knew for a fact that he had been alerted to what was going on by now. Because your siblings along with your parents had sent you a few messages that you haven't bothered to respond to. Knowing your mother, she was probably happy about it right along with Maggie.

“We're going to get through this, Buttercup but you just have to trust me. I'm not going to let anything happen to you or to us. Do you trust me?” Jack asked you and you nodded your head, not trusting that the actual words would come out of your mouth.

“Baby, look at me and tell me you trust me.”

You did as you were told and you were now facing him as you straddled him and he started drawing small shapes on your skin that was exposed to him.

“I trust you.”

“I'm going to take care of you and you know that at the end of all this we get to be together how we want. We just have to wait until this blows over and baby it will blow over and people will be onto something new. And we might be bringing a baby into the world too. But I'm going to need you to stop being scared and take the test. Whatever happens, you know it's me and you until the end of time. That's how it should have been from the beginning.”

When you didn't say anything, Jack placed his finger underneath your chin so that you would look at him and placed his lips on yours. You eagerly kissed him back and his hands started roaming your body and he pulled you even closer.

“I wish we could stay here forever and not have to be bothered with anyone anymore.” You quietly confessed as Jack captured you in another kiss.

“We can't stay forever, but we can definitely stay longer.”

“But I'd rather hurry up and get back home and get this over with.”

“In due time, baby. But for now let's focus on us and enjoy the time that we have together before we have to go back out into the real world. But first, I'm going to need you to take a pregnancy test. I'll text Neelam to get it for us.”

You stayed with Jack in Paris for two more days before making your way back home in order to face your husband and to officially file for divorce. You were dreading having to face him, but at this point what did you have to lose? He stepped out on you and had an entire child and you were absolutely done with trying to repair the relationship and it took Jack explaining that there was nothing left for you in that marriage for it to finally click and stop your thoughts of wanting to repair it despite what he did to you.

Even though he hadn't tried to call you at this point in time he had to know. It was everywhere and you honestly couldn't escape it. It did help that when you got back to L.A. it was three in the morning and there weren't a lot of people out, but that wasn't going to be the case on a day to day basis.

Before you and Jack had to leave one another, he simply told you if you wanted to quit your job when you got back home and move back to Louisville, he had already bought a condo for you.

You didn't know if you were quite ready for that just yet, but then again why not? Some of your things were already in Louisville and this would make it feel like the end of an era.

Walking into the house, the light was still on in the kitchen and you were confused as to why he would still be awake. Leaving your suitcase by the door, you stepped into the kitchen to see him nursing a glass of some type of alcohol and he was the first to speak.

“Hmm so you finally decided to come back? You should have just stayed with him.” He said before taking a swig and putting the glass back down on the table which instantly made you roll your eyes.

“Don't even start with me because it's not like you actually give a damn about me so you can stop pretending.”

“Of course I give a damn about you! Last time I checked you were MY wife, but I found out that you were cheating on me with your so-called “friend” Jack Harlow. He's a friend from high school, my ass.”

“I'm your wife, but you leave me for weeks and even months at a time and barely communicate with me and you've been this way for almost a damn year. So you can fucking save it. He actually cares about me while you are too busy taking care of your newborn child.”

The expression on Xavier's face was priceless and if you weren't so mad at him you would have pulled out your phone to take a picture.

“Oh, we don't have a lot to say now, do we? You've been cheating on me for almost a year and got the bitch pregnant. You aren't as discreet as you think and I know everything down to where she lives and what the baby's name is. Congratulations I heard it was a girl so don't you dare tell me shit.”

“You don't know anything.”

“Hmm, funny because not once did you deny it. If I don't know anything, tell me I'm wrong and PROVE it. Yeah I cheated on you with my ex-boyfriend and I don't regret it. He fucked me in our bed and I didn't even care if you had walked in and saw us. You could have probably used some pointers for him because I can't even remember the last time you actually found my clit so it was definitely news to me that you found someone that actually wanted to have sex with you and had actually gotten someone pregnant. So I'm saying all this to say that I'm fucking divorcing you once and for all so you can go and be with sweet little Kristina and baby Olivia all the time because I am taking you down for everything you fucking have. I'm not putting up with this any longer.”

“So, you think that the two of you are just going to live happily ever after? You failed me as a wife and you aren't going to do anything but fail him and be seen as nothing but a homewrecking whore.”

“You have some fucking nerve saying that shit to me. Hmm, I could say the same thing about Kristina. At least you could've gotten with someone who was at least on my level, but all you did was downgrade. She can have my sloppy seconds because the potential is gone. I didn't fail you as a wife, you failed me as a husband the minute you decided to step out on me instead of coming to me and fixing the problem. You didn’t even fight for me and that's what hurts most of all. I don't have anymore else to say so we're done here and you can get the fuck out of my house and go see your baby.”

“I… I never meant for it to come to this.” Xavier said getting up from the kitchen table and walking over towards you but all you did was take two steps back and shake your head no.

“You only feel some type of way now because you got caught. I don't want you anymore and I haven't wanted you for a very long time.”

“Y/N… we can fix this.”

“After you had a baby on me AND called me a homewrecking whore? Yeah, not a chance and let the door hit you on the way out because at this point, I don't give a damn.”

It was around 4:30 in the morning when Xavier had finally left and simply took his clothes and shoes with him and told you that he would be back for the rest later.

You were now laying in your bed staring up at the ceiling and you let out a sigh of relief. The weight that you had felt being in this marriage was no longer there and a few tears couldn't help but to slip out and you quickly wiped them away. Those were happy tears because you finally stood upp for yourself and it was long overdue. Now that you had faced your husband, you had one more thing left to accomplish. Now you had to go out and face the world.

Avoidance of your social media accounts were at an all time high especially when that was one of the first things Jack had told you to do and Neelam quickly agreed. You could only imagine the things that people were saying about you.

It was hard to fall asleep so the idea of calling Jack came to you knowing that more than likely he was still awake. He had let you know earlier when he had gotten home and that he was going to be up for a while. It rang a few times before you saw his face pop into view.

“Why is my girl still awake? I thought you'd be asleep by now? And have you been crying? What's going on?” He asked when he laid his eyes on you. It looked as if he was also laying down and had just woken up by his hair being all over the place.

“Oh no, did I wake you up? I didn't mean to. You can call me back when…” Jack immediately cut you off.

“No. Obviously my girl needs me so tell me what's bothering you.”

“I kicked him out the house… finally.” You said with a sense of relief.

“Hmm, how'd that go?”

“Tried to blame me for ruining the marriage by cheating, but then I pulled out all the receipts about him and his newborn child. He looked like a deer caught in headlights and didn't even know what to say.”

“I mean at that point, what could he say? He got caught red handed.”

“And proceeded to call me a homewrecking whore but then said that our marriage could be fixed.”

“He has some fucking nerve saying some shit like that to you after what he did. So, how do you feel now?” Jack asked as he was now sitting up against the headboard.

“A sense of relief and I feel like a weight has been lifted. I told him that I want nothing to do with him anymore. He took it better than I thought, but I mean at that point he had to know that I was going to say no. I also mentioned howywe fucked that night and that he can never find my clit. Anyway, I know for a fact Kelsey said something and had A LOT to say when she saw you.”

Jack shrugged before responding to you and it was clear that at this point he just didn't care anymore.

“First thing out of her mouth was ‘you told me not to worry about her’ and I was like Clay told you that because I know for a damn fact that that statement never came out of my mouth. Like she knows that we dated and by the end of that conversation I asked… no told her we were getting a divorce and that I didn't love her anymore.”

“We're doing the right thing, right? Tell me we're doing the right thing.” You said as you were making yourself more comfortable.

“Yes, baby, we're doing the right thing. Matter of fact, why are you in that big house by yourself when you could be up under me in your new condo in Louisville?”

“I..”

“First thing tomorrow, file for divorce and then I'll send the jet to come and get you.”

—--

You had been in Louisville with Jack at your new condo for about three and a half weeks and it seemed like the world was crashing down around you.

Being curious one night when Jack was at the studio your first week back, you logged into social media to see blogs tearing you down at every chance they could get and you ended up sending yourself into a panic attack.

The next week, numerous calls came to your phone letting you know that you would be essentially dropped from your endorsement deals because the companies that you were under didn't want their name being tied to any type of scandal or putting their company in a bad light even though they didn't even know the full story of what had actually happened.

Jack didn't know anything about that because you failed to tell him. You had known from the beginning that it was going to come to this and your mindset was that you were simply going to deal with it and not try to worry him about it.

You confided in Tania how you felt ever since the paparazzi pictures were posted and she was immediately blowing up your phone. You were once again hiding out in your condo when a call from her came through on your phone since when you called her earlier she was unable to talk. Once you explained everything to her, the first thing out of her mouth was that you had to tell Jack.

“And you didn't tell him this because?”

“He has enough to deal with and I feel like I keep adding to it. Being with me is probably more trouble than what it's worth. I have literally created a shitstorm.”

“Do not EVER let me hear you talk about yourself that way again. You are worth it and deserve to have happiness and Jack is all in. That man worships the ground that you walk on and if anybody needs to know how you're feeling right now, it's him. Do not keep this from him, because how is he supposed to help you?”

“Tania, how is he supposed to help me with this? My mental health has literally gone to shit since all of this happened. I quit my job, lost all my damn endorsement deals.”

“The two of you want to be together and that man is moving hell and high water to make it happen so I know if you tell him, he will do his absolute best to make sure you get the help that you need. Why are you so scared of just letting go? You've been this way since our first year in nursing school. And he said from the beginning that he's going to take care of you, so let him. Stop running away from the man who wants to love you.”

“None of this would have happened if we didn't break up in the first place.”

“Well we can't do anything about that now and we have to deal with the cards that are dealt.”

“I'm so overwhelmed, I can't do this.”

The wheels immediately started turning in Tania's head because any time she heard you say that, you disappeared for weeks and no one had any idea where you were and she was afraid that you were going to do it again. She knew when your panic attacks and anxiety got the best of you that's what you did in order to reset. It wasn't the healthiest coping mechanism, but when you came back you felt better each time.

“Y/N, don't you dare run. You are done doing that. Talk to him when he gets back home. Do I need to come to Louisville or do I need to call Janelle and Jeremiah?”

“I….. Tania, I don't know if I'm cut out for this. Maybe this is all too soon.”

“No. Stop it. Stop it right now. You made the right choice and I know it's overwhelming because of how famous Jack is and people are going to now be following your every move, but it's going to be okay.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because I know you and you always come out on top. Now get some rest and let me know how it goes when you talk to Jack. If I don't hear from you in the next 12 hours, I'm hopping on a plane to Louisville.”

When Jack got to your condo, he was surprised by how quiet it was but figured that you would be sleeping. He made his way into the bedroom to find it empty and was suddenly confused since you hadn't mentioned to him that you were going anywhere, because at this point in time he didn't want you going anywhere by yourself knowing how people are.

After searching the entire condo, he pulled out his phone to call you but it had gone straight to voice-mail and Jack wasn't quite sure if he should start to panic or not.

It wasn't until a piece of paper on the counter in the kitchen written in your handwriting caught his eye.

Jackman,

Please don't be mad at me for doing this even though I get it if you are. First off, I love you with everything in me, but I just need to reset. I'm overwhelmed and I just need time to myself. I'll be back soon. Don't come and look for me.

Love, Buttercup

Jack felt that his heart was beginning to race as he read your words over and over again, not believing what he was seeing. He immediately started to feel guilty and believed that this was entirely his fault. He thought that you were coping with everything just fine or, it seemed like you were. If it was the opposite, surely you would have told him, right?

He immediately picked up his phone once more and dialed.

“Hello?”

“Y/N isn't here, and I don't know where she could've gone. She left a note saying not to look for her, but how am I supposed to just sit here?”