#But poor George why does everyone hate him

[richarddukeofgloucester]

Well, I am finally reading The King's Mother, and by far the aspect I'm most enjoying is the portrayal of Richard as The Favourite Golden Child.

[s-awturn]

Brasilian Girl || CS55

summary: Where Carlos and his girlfriend decide to spend their winter holidays in Brazil.

cw: Nothing special, Carlos pampering his girlfriend, fans in love with the couple's dynamics, friends making jokes, Lando wanting to be adopted (?)

a/n: this is my first attempt at smau, bear with me, thank you and yes, you will have to put up with the Latino Mood at maximum power :)

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, taylorhill, barbarasprouse, bellahadid, charlesleclerc, lilymunihe, kikagomes and others.

📌 Praia de Copacabana, Rio de Janeiro, Brasil.

Oi Brasil, estou em casa 💚💛

carlossainz55 You are definitely the muse of Bossa Nova music ❤️ Liked by the author

⤷ ynuser oh baby that was beautiful i love you so much 😭🫶🏼

alexsaintmleux you have to take me there! ❤️ Liked by author

⤷ ynuser of course I'll bring my favorite girl here

charlesleclerc @ carlossainz55 control your girlfriend before she steals my girlfriend

⤷ ynuser you can't compete with me, Cha, accept your defeat

userfan omg Carlos' comment 😭 they are so beautiful

userfan bem vinda de volta, Y/N! 🫶🏼

Liked by carlossainz55, georgerussell63, carmenmundt, alexsaintmleux, kendalljenner, landonorris, charlesleclerc and others.

📌 Pontal da Atalaia, Arraial do Cabo, Brasil

👤tagged: carlossainz55

yes, I bought a pair of Havaianas for Carlos and spoiler, he loved it

carlossainz55 A beautiful landscape for a beautiful couple, by the way I loved the flip flops, very aesthetic ❤️ Liked by author

⤷ ynuser you are perfect, understand and yes, the slippers are very aesthetic

⤷ landonorris Okay, you guys are beautiful, when are you going to adopt me? Charles and Alex adopted Oscar.

⤷ carlossainz55 God willing, never 🙌🏼

georgerussel63 Everyone knows that Carlos only wants the Brazilian CPF

⤷ carlossainz55 Shut up George

lilymunihe There's something messing up Y/N's beauty there, oh it's Carlos ❤️ Liked by author

⤷ ynuser I love youuuu Lily, come to Arraial with me

⤷ carlossainz55 This is called envy, you wanted to be beautiful like me

⤷ lilymunihe poor thing, is he delirious?

userfan I want what they have, which saint should I pray to?

userfan Lando and I are in line to be adopted

liked by carlossainz55, lewishamilton, pierregasly, kikagomes, oscarpiastri, lilymunihe, gigihadid and others.

📌 Bahia de Todos os Santos, Brasil

👤tagged: carlossainz55

After that he tried to sing Djavan, but MPB for a Spaniard drunk on caipirinha is not the best combination

⤷ carlossainz55 In my defense, I didn't know caipirinha was so good and who can judge a man in love? ❤️ Liked by author

landonorris ugh you guys make me diabetic, jeez

⤷ ynuser then it goes back to adoption and you don't know why

⤷ charlesleclerc fight fight fight fight fight

kikagomes I would sell my boyfriend for a caipirinha right now ❤️ Liked by author

⤷ pierregasly dear?

⤷ Ynuser priorities, Pierre

liked by ynuser, kendalljenner, barbarasprouse, carmenmundt, kimiantonelli, charlesleclerc, maxverstappen1 and others

📌 Brasil

👤 Ynuser

Obrigado Brasil por me dar o pedaço que faltava do meu coração @ynuser

ynuser I can't believe it 😭 you wrote in Portuguese without Google translate, how beautiful! I love you baby

⤷ carlossainz55 anything for my favorite girl ❤️

charlesleclerc my god you have to get married soon

⤷ ynuser after you and Alex of course

⤷ alexsaintmleux That's right Y/N, tell him the truth 😎

⤷ landonorris that's right, get married and adopt me

⤷ georgerussell63 someone give this child a father

lilymunihe Carlos is ruining the photos again

⤷carmenmundt he does this often, unfortunately

⤷ carlossainz55 Excuse me? Do you hate me?

⤷lilymunihe It took you a while to figure that out, huh? That's what happens when you hang around with Lando

⤷ ynuser I warned you that Lando would influence him

⤷ landonorris So rude!

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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO S-AWTURN™ 🪐. I do not allow copying or republication. Any unauthorized publication will be reported.

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[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.2

Prettyyyyy

Maybe John's not actually crazy for thinking Hey Jude is to him? “For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder.” fool is, in my tin hat world, often a code name for Paul in their songs. And that description is certainly him to a t actually. I wonder why I've never considered it before. 

John: are you happy here, honey? Paul: I ain't happy here my honey, can you take me back? How many songs does Paul write from 1968 on about trying to go back? One day I'm going to make a list and it'll be a long one. 

And thus begins the phase of they just can't help it, can they? But they really wish they could. They make each other so so happy, but they really wish they didn't. It would hurt less that way. 

I love the comparison of Linda's pictures of everyone else and then of John. It just shows that it's not a her problem – that's such a lovely one of George, who Hates Yoko – it's how he feels about her.

John, coming up with every possible weapon to provoke Paul, finally has Yoko sing Paul's part in one of their songs. It really is such a slap in the face. But of course breaking the sanctity of their music is what does it best. And still, all he gets out of him is a look before he walks away. Whatever it is that John wants, I think Paul literally can not give it to him. 

Btw the white album is my favorite, probably. There's just such incredible diversity on it. It's so much fun, you never get tired of it, and it's an excellent display of their genius and versatility. 

He looks like an abandoned puppy. 

What do we think? John says Paul drummed on WDWDITR. Paul says Ringo did. Who is telling the truth?

“It was getting to be where he wanted to do it like that but he couldn't make the break . . .” So John thinks Paul doing his songs by himself means he wants to break the group up? I personally read it as him not wanting to annoy everyone with his bossiness, but that's just my take. 

John talking about how it's him and Yoko now, but before, it was . . .

George needs to send them a cease and desist notice or he'll sue them for breech of character the amount of times they drag him into things he's not a part of. Especially if they're not going to even fucking spare him a glance in reality. Please and thank you, Hare Krishna. 

Paul's epigraph on the two virgins cover. “Battles to prove he was a saint”? What kind of passive aggressive shit is that, Paul?

The eternal question: what happened in India? And does John really not know? Or is he just unwilling to tell what happened to rolling stone?

Somebody please engage with that poor little boy, preferably, you know, his father. Ugh, Cynthia must've had so much anxiety watching that footage, or really any time Julian was with John. And that footage is placed in the doc right after a pic of Paul already being Heather's dad just so naturally. 

But hell, if I've ever seen attention-seeking behavior, this is it. Singing about wanting to die while seductively undressing the closest thing Paul would've had to career competition at the time. 

I'm sorry but it will forever be hilarious to me that when John's singing his part of “I've Got a Feeling” with Yoko it's “soft dream” and then with Paul it's “wet dream”. How John and Yoko tricked everyone into believing they were too horny for each other to control themselves is beyond my imagination. 

On the day John plays their sex tape, “Unusually, Yoko is not present.” LMAO girl same. John: I'm going to play our sex tape for the band tomorrow. Yoko: oh was that tomorrow? Damn, I forgot, I have a thing. 

“Well that's an interesting one.” What did John honestly expect, though? Like I know he wanted Paul to be like, “that's it! Enough is enough I'm taking you home and doing you right!” Or whatever. But what did he honestly, realistically expect?

Always saying the same things at the same time, always on the same page, same word. About everything, it seems, except their relationship. 

Paul: but you won't say anything about it. John: I said what I've been thinking. Paul: Are you still thinking that now? What are you thinking now? John: I'm still thinking about it. Infuriating. Whatever it is John's been thinking, he doesn't want to talk about it in front of cameras. Is it quitting the band? I think it's something more complicated than that but I've no idea what. 

“John, John, joooooohn!” X “Martha my Dear” crossover my beloved. The fact that literally Everyone reacts and tries to get her to stop except Paul is so extremely telling. Yoko: joooooohn! Ringo: He's busy! Yoko: joooooohn! John: Stop that! (And he looks and sounds genuinely pissed) Yoko: joooooohn! Paul: (plinking and pounding away, definitely not thinking thoughts about what he would do right now if he was a girl that will come out of his mouth fifteen years later)

Everyone's trying to figure out the problem with George vs JohnandYoko and Paul's saying “and like with Yoko, they’re real. They mean it.” Linda laughs. “I don't dig that.” You don't, Linda? What about them isn't real to her, I wonder. Does she think they don't really love each other? Or what?

Linda: *Makes fart noise* Go away! Paul: continues to defend them. Neil: everybody cough. See and this is why it sucks that get back was so edited. Because it's important that Paul's defending them here not just going on and on where nobody asked. He knows he's hurt John, and he feels bad enough about it to let him have his mommy with him at all times if that's what he needs.

If what??? Someone needs to force them to finish their damn sentences. Because I feel like he cuts himself off here when (I swear!!) he's about to say what it is that's hurting John so badly.

Anyway, here's where (imo) he's kinda wrong. Where he says "if it came to a push between Yoko and the band, it's Yoko." I think I said it in my get back posts, but I'll say it again. Yeah, if it was Yoko or the band, it's Yoko. But if it's Yoko or Paul filling all the gaps Yoko is currently filling? It's Paul. You know? And I think that's what John wants so badly at this time, actually. Is “a push between Yoko and [Paul]” ending with Paul stepping up for him in some way that he wasn't before, you know?

He really does get it though. John wanting to be as close as possible with Yoko so he doesn't lose her and their connection. Don't forget he does put Linda in his band. He gets it because it was the same with him and John. 

I really do think it's a huge myth that they just never talked about feelings or anything serious. Look at them. This is how they talk in a crowded place with their girlfriends sitting right there. They didn't just get through fifteen years of one of the greatest collaborations in history never actually talking. They talked about deep stuff. And frequently. 

[hello-nichya-here]

i hate that the general public has the ideia that sandor only sees sansa as a "little sister" and has a stronger bond with arya… got did irreparable damage to society

I get far less mad at the "He's closer to Arya" thing when the people saying it are honest about refering solely to show as that's the only version of the story they've consumed. What I cannot stand is the people that only watched the show and then try to use it as evidence to claim Sandor was closer to Arya IN THE BOOKS THEY'VE NEVER EVEN FUCKING READ!

Buddy, in the books he beat, threatened and insulted her every other paragraph. He HAD moments of campassion towards her, and Arya did take notice and retribute it sometimes, but their dynamic is overwhelmingly negative and toxic. They're not friends, he doesn't see her as someone dear to him, and Arya was 110% justified in leaving him to die - something Sandor himself acknowledges.

Don't get me wrong, I do believe has good in him, and that he will BECOME a good person, as that's clearly what's being set up, but for 90% of the story he is an absolute bastard, even when actively trying to be nice to the Stark girls - and he has ALWAYS put way more effort to be gentler towards Sansa than he ever did to anyone else on Earth, Arya very much included.

He talks about her all the time, makes his romantic/sexual interest in her very clear, and cries on his "death" about how he failed to protect her. More importantly, while he DID threaten Sansa when offering to rescue her, he was in the middle of a PTSD episode, and all it took for him to breakdown crying and leave her alone was her singing a song about mercy. He never bonded with Arya on that level or ever got even close to respecting her wish to not be around him like he did with Sansa.

And let's not forget why Sansa sang to him: because Sandor demanded a LOVE SONG about the fool-turned-knight that rescued the pretty girl and then became her lover. He wants to be Sansa's hero and wants her to LOVE him. He almost kissed her during that whole mess, and George R.R. Martin has Sansa misremember the event to include an actual kiss, because Sansa was, in his own words, "correcting" that moment - not by ignoring all the awful parts of it mind you, but by making Fantasy!Sandor act on his obvious attraction to her, because the fact that he didn't was more important in her head than him literally threatening her life.

In case that last bit didn't make obvious: the book was not subtle about Sandor NOT thinking of Sansa as his "little sister", but as the object of his lust/love AND the poor, innocent maiden that is waiting for a true knight to rescue her and safely take her back to her family's castle - and despite her not being reckless enough to run off with such an unstable man, Sansa DOES have feelings for him too. Hell, even the show wasn't always unwilling to go there, as they do have some moments that scream "there's something there"

I REALLY need to make a whole separate post on how GOT completely destroyed Sansa and Arya (plus Sandor) as characters, and how their dynamics with "The Hound" were all wrong since Dumb & Dumber clearly didn't get that they were not supposed to side with Sandor's "everyone is awful, so all awful things are justified" mentality.

[shakespeare-potter]

Some harry and sirius alternative universe headcanons that i have in my head since like ages part 1

Don't imagine Remus going to the Weasley's house for whatever reason after a couple of years of the worst day in his life

Don't imagine percy and the others being at home and showing him his new pet rat for (again) whatever reason

Don't imagine him IMMEDIATELY realising that who that is

Don't imagine that rat trying to run away seeing him

Don't imagine ginny Weasley being fast as hell and catching him because she's awesome like that

Don't imagine the shock on everyone's faces when remus makes mr rat to come out in his true form

Absolutely do not imagine him trying to manipulate the story again

Don't imagine them just calling Dumbledore and somehow convincing him to convince peter to drink the truth potion ( i forgot the spelling 😭) because remus is kinda suspicious

Do not imagine the truth coming out

Do not imagine sirius sitting in his cell , thinking only of harry , trying to not go absolutely insane in that hell and suddenly finding out that he's having an actual trial

Do not imagine the verdict of the trial putting peter the rat in azkaban and freeing sirius black

Do not imagine him just asking "where is harry?" To remus the SECOND he actually gets out

Do not imagine him lashing out at Dumbledore after finding out about harry being with the dursleys because he knew how much they hated Lily ( i have further headcanons as to why he knew this part but I'll come to those later

Do not imagine harry being 6-7 years old kiddo who lives in the cupboard under the stairs and is making eggs and toast for everyone because aunt petunia said so , with a burnt hand and watching his aunt and uncle loving Dudley and question to himself as to why he isn't worthy enough of that "maybe i should just help aunty more, maybe then she'll let me eat an egg too"- he thinks.

Absolutely do not imagine sirius, remus and Dumbledore paying a visit to harry because there was NO WAY that sirius was going to stay away from him (and ofcourse he takes ALOT of gifts ) ("i gotta make up for the lost time moony")

Do not imagine them going to the house , obviously get shouted at by vernon but somehow forcing their way into the house to see harry

Do not imagine harry being absolutely scared of them because he doesn't know what is happening and why is aunt petunia has locked him in the cupboard again "i didn't even burn anything today"

Do not imagine sirius almost blowing up that cupboard door when he realises that Harry's in there

Don't imagine his heart breaking after seeing his godson, the son of his two bestest friends in that scared terrified state

Don't imagine him gently calling harry "hey bud , you're safe now , you can come out" , and harry just asking him "who are you??" In his tiny little voice ( heart breaking part 2) and sirius just taking out a photo of him, james and lily from their wedding and before he could tell him that he's his Godfather harry asks again "who-who's that" ( he has an idea but he doesn't want to hope too much in case they're not someone who he thinks they are) ( yes I'm sobbing writing this is and no I'm not sorry ) and sirius just trying SO HARD to not break in front of him and scream at everyone for doing this to harry .

Don't imagine Dumbledore and remus also coming in there to convince harry to come out and he just reluctantly believes them because poor baby haven't seen a single photo of his parents until now

Don't imagine his first few weeks with sirius being full of breakdowns and nervousness and too many things to unlearn ( like not needing to cook breakfast

Don't imagine remus suggesting that they introduce him to the Weasley's because their youngest kids are his age and that It would be good for him

And obviously harry being nervous af but still being polite because he's cutu like that

Sirius hearing him laughing for the first time over fred & George's antics

Yes he cries almost every night

So does remus

But they're also going to therapy ( all 3 of them )

Yes they rip out a new one out of Dumbledore everytime they find out about more shit the dursleys did to harry

Also sirius used to play guitar before the war

And one day harry finds that out while they were looking through the old photos ( they take at least one hour out of their day after dinner to just talk/ask everything about James and Lily) and for the first time he asks sirius to play something

And ofcourse he does , he wasn't going to say no to his godson now

Harry is mesmerized

So is remus ( I've got a very emotional backstory for wolfstar too , it ends on a bittersweet note tho so tell me if y'all wanna read that too) (anyways)

Sirius asks harry if he wants to learn

And he says yes

It becomes their thing

Moony reads a story to harry every night , especially Lily's favourite muggle ones

Ginny , Ron and Harry become bffs and later with Hermione ( they met her long before going to Hogwarts in my head but they didn't really become friends before that )

Harry finally starts to heal

So does Sirius

[beeindaclouds]

hii! Is it alright that write all DSMP x reader but the DSMP (either cc or c) turns into their opposite gender? And they all like being confuse about their new shape of body and voice?? If you are okay with this one :D

Hallo, thanks for requesting and I hope you enjoy <3

Reader discovers Genderbend!DSMP

Includes: Dream, Georgenotfound, Sapnap, Badboyhalo, Skeppy, Quackity, Karl Jacobs, Wilbur Soot, C!Philza, C!Technoblade, Nihachu, Punz, FoolishGamers, Awesamdude

Click here before requesting, please ^^

Reader: GN - They/Them

Ps. Everyone is CC! Other then C!Phil and C!Techno. And I didn't include Eret, cause I feel like they're pretty genderfluid in their style already, so nothing would change

❝ Dream ❞

He's smug about it

Like "Oh wow, I have boobs, lemme check" kind of smug

Idk why but I can see him being so proud of being a women and looking attractive

To the point where he uses it against you and makes you question your sexuality lol

♀️♂️

❝ Georgenotfound ❞

George would be too embarrassed to show himself

He doesn't hate how he looks, he's just shy about showing you specifically

You have to reassure him many many times that it's ok and that you'll love him no matter what

And when he comes out you just can't help but shower him in compliments

♂️♀️

❝ Sapnap ❞

I can see him wanting to try womens clothes, to feel just how they are

He chickens out a little, cause he has to see boobs to change, but after he's just showing off his new fits and acting like he's in one of those "make over scenes" in the movies

Like, yeah, he could have done it before in his man body, but it's a different experience in a womans body

Not a fan of heels and he feels bad for you if you wear them

♀️♂️

❝ Badboyhalo + Skeppy ❞

Bad's completely flustered and all over the place, it takes him a while to get used to bring in a woman's body

Skeppy is absolutely loving it and planning the amout of youtube videos he can make out of this situation haha

I imagine you three making many make up and outfit videos, just for pure entertainment

Just leaving the fans confused to wth happened

♂️♀️

❝ Quackity ❞

Boobs

Is all he has to say

He wears the same thing, hoodies and a beanie, and just moves on with his life

But he does freak out when going to the bathroom, cause yk

Makes many jokes about you liking him more cause he has boobs now haha

♀️♂️

❝ Karl Jacobs ❞

Especially stuff he couldn't wear before, for fear of backlash

Karl definetly starts trying all different types of styles and clothings

I can see him liking very flowy skirts and puffy ones too; he finds them very comfy and adorable to wear

♂️♀️

You definetly make him wear the strawberry dress, you literally have been waiting for an opportunity to do so-

And make up, lots of make up!

❝ Wilbur Soot ❞

"My eyes are up here buddy"

He tells you when you first found him in this new form

Honestly nothing much changes, other then the fact that he's more flirty and confident lol

Also imagine him in cute light academia outfits!!!

♀️♂️

❝ C!Philza & C!Technoblade❞

You had to stifle a laugh when you first saw them

The two just contacted you with an "s.o.s" and a "come here asap", so you thought the worst

But instead you found two women in the place of the two men you knew

Phil actually looked a lot like Mumza with his long curly hair

Nothing much changed for Techno, other then the fact that he would absolutely not get out of his cloak because his "body felt too revealing"

Poor Techno :'D

♂️♀️

❝ Nihachu ❞

She's a pretty boy

One of those boys that are born with pretty privileged, like George

[Not that she doesn't already have it-]

She honestly likes the change and is still comfortable wearing "femminine" clothes

You can't help but be mesmerized by how adorable she looks, even as a male

♀️♂️

❝ Punz ❞

"Who wears the pants in the relationship now?!" you happily bragged as you saw Punz

Man wouldn't move from the bed, he was in shock at the discovery of his new body

A little interested, but mostly shocked

Jokes aside, you stayed by his side and reassured him that he looked absolutely beautiful no matter what

And with a bit of buttering up, he got comfortable enough to show off his new body

He looked like a babe, obviously

♂️♀️

❝ FoolishGamers ❞

Man's still beafy, muscle and all

We love big strong beafy women!!

He feels a bit weird, but mostly doesn't see must change

He also tried wearing heels for fun, bad idea

For some reason I imagine you and Tina making him give you two a bit of a fashion show

Maybe inviting female Karl too haha

Imagine the stream y'all would have!!

♀️♂️

❝ Awesamdude ❞

Sam is confident

Like yes, I am the most beautiful women you have ever seen

Bow down to such beauty u.u

Nothing much changes with him either, he feels great in how he looks and loves every second if it

[hellbubu]

Hii!! Its saturday, the best day of the week! Not guilt for sleeping in and a new kuro episode xD (and your reaction, that always makes me laugh)

This episode flew so fast! And it wasnt even as interesting as most of the others, =( I did enjoy watching just how many strategies and backup plans Ciel came up with tho (Also, loved the prefect being willing to train hard af with Ciel to win....but the fact that he didnt even think to question why their teacher was training *this* particular boy all the time is so dumb....like you said, EVERYONE (except Edward and Bitch-cant remember his name rn-) is so twisted around his little finger its ridiculous. Even Ciel seems surprised by this, lol. Never ever has he been the hot girl and doesnt know how to react xDD (and I mean for people his age...not demons and old lecherous pervs, btw)

Lau's girls were....sure something lmao. Its always hilarious to me when boys lose their heads around some skin, but to this extreme? I didnt expect Edward to fall to it, tho. And at Ciel's "would that really work? -> ah, i guess demons would know about humans desires" I was ¬¬ sure bb, suuure you don't know anything about this, at all. (Also, the TOTAL lack of reaction from Druitt???? You're telling me the most pervert man in this whole stadium is not reacting to grown up women showing skin and that's not a tiny bit suspicious?? When he was commenting on the boys before this? Pfff)

I KNEW he was gonna get injured the moment Edwin's bat stopped 5 cm from his face. Idk, but i thought he was gonna let himself get hit in the upwards motion? And I was like "baby, baby! you're gonna lose like, four teeth!! ik its probably your milk teeth still, but cielll!" lmao. Luckily that didnt happen. Although his poor head... that was a STRONG swing. Still, as we know he's always willing to suffer if it results in his victory.

Also, is it just me or Sebastian was so slowww this ep??? And wouldnt he have more reason to approach the head master as a teacher rather than some random butler??? anyways.....

Saturdays are now Kuro-days! It's a shame we're almost through all the episodes 😭😭😭

I think they're all like that with him because they all see how much persistence, ambition, and intelligence are in that small body. Plus, it does help that he has a title, is cute, and is very fucking rich (I mean he has to buy new silver jewelry every other week because Sebastian uses them like a kunai).

Amor, everyone knows Druitt is only into people younger than his nephew. While I understand why this would be a good strategy, I'm honestly done with it. Like at least they weren't naked and only covered by clouds (Naruto used the Sexy Jutsu so much... I hate just thinking about it.

I do see why most boys were affected by it. Like, during that era people (in general) were more covered up. Like very covered up. And while I'm sure Ciel does know about sex, he might be used to seeing girls like that. I mean, Lau and Ran-Mao are always together. While he doesn't like to be hugged by her, I doubt that's because of "lust" and he mostly just doesn't like being touched.

I just love how he thought letting Greenhill (I googled his name) was a good idea. I mean, they won. But the head injury could bring long-lasting effects. Greenhill (I had to google his name) hits extremely hard

Look at that! That's not normal. Ciel is lucky he's alive.

I also liked it when Ciel was the only blue-haired one. On the bright side, I now HC that Redmond (I also Googled his name because in my head he's either Heather Chandler or Regina George) teases him saying they could be brothers. He calls Ciel his brother just to annoy Bluewer.

[fahye]

it does indeed seem like the tagline of this series is 'lymond WHAT are you doing and WHY does it make everyone around you so mad????'

i'm on the disorderly knights now and the first half was SO tense and fast paced and crazy that i was like HANG ON DOROTHY you usually spend at LEAST 100+ pages setting the scene and developing the story before you let us get anywhere near the actual plot but this one just starts and immediately RAMPS IT UP. someone said the first two books are pretty much just prologue to the actual story and they were RIGHT. i've reached the immediate aftermath of That SceneTM with Joleta and drunk Lymond and i have to take a break bc WHATTTT. also poor will scott i am so sad and inconsolable abt this dear huge and dumb ginger menace. but the immense enjoyment i'm getting out of jerott being described as the dark and smouldering knight lymond drags along behind him wherever he goes is UNMATCHED. and i hate gabriel

also i wish we saw more of sir george douglas after queens' play merely for the comedic element of the fact that he is likely so inured by now to lymond in his various disguises that he probably assumes every single new person he meets is just francis crawford undercover

anon it's been a hundred years and you are probably much further into the series now, I hope you packed provisions (and hydration) and that your emotions are not too battered.

I enjoy everything about jerott except when I want to pick him up and shake him like a feather duster and yell STOP BEING AN IDIOT but that's luckily only 50% of the time. the other 50% you want to do the same thing to lymond himself.

[fuzzydreamin]

Random Headcanons for: Strong

☢ He knows the milk of human kindness isn't literally milk. Not fully sure on what a metaphore is though.

☢ He never lies or tries to obscure the truth, and doesn't like people who do (Deacon watch out). He won't just go after someone for lying though, but he doesn't understand lies or why someone would use them, and if they do it repetitively he gets frustrated.

☢ His eyesight isn't great during the daytime. Like coursers, the FEV has created a mutation where some super mutants have better night vision and thus more light-sensitive eyes. It's more common in nightkin, but Strong has this trait. So he's always squinting and shielding his eyes to look at things during the daytime. Man needs a hat or some sunnies.

☢ His hearing and sense of smell are phenomenal though. He could zero in on a mole rat in a trash heap just as well as Dogmeat.

☢ Not very (technically) smart, but super observant. He's a hunter, so he's always watching and listening out for what's going on around him. He will often point out things others have missed but seem obvious to him. Physical and otherwise.

☢ Prefers melee weapons over big guns. If he runs out of bullets he's just going to start whacking things with a minigun. It'll kill his target, sure, but the poor gun won't be the same.

☢ Gift giving. Strong sees sharing resources as normal and right, but he still really appreciates if Sole, or anyone, gives him something useful. Especially if they made it themselves just for him. Though, he doesn't really know how to express gratitude outside of hunting food and making sure they stay alive in a fight. He figures that should be fair enough anyway.

☢ Is actually pretty chill with almost everyone living at Sanctuary. Either they leave him alone and that's fine, or they understand that he's different from them but not outright harmful and treat him well. He likes getting to watch these people banding together and working hard to get things done, showing that 'milk of human kindness' he's after. And he gets to be part of that with them. He'd stomp anything that tries to disturb that. And he does.

☢ He's almost always on guard duty in some fashion or hunting in the nearby areas. But he's not above helping out with other things when asked -like if the settlers need something big and heavy lifted and/or moved. Just don't ask him to do any jobs that require a gentle or precise touch.

☢ You know that thing when you grab your dogs front paws and do little hoppy steps to dance with them? He does that with Gracie. Very rarely, but everyone at Sanctuary's seen it at least once, usually at a party.

☢ Likes when Sole, or anyone, reads to him during downtime. They have to go slow and he's likely to ask questions that might seem dumb to anyone with less patience, but he's basically self-teaching himself and he does appreciate it. He can't really handle a book or read words very well. The only time his 'too much talking' complaint doesn't count; stories isn't talking.

☢ Rex once dragged George down to Sanctuary and forced got the residents to put on a play. Strong was enraptured like a child sitting too close to the TV. Didn't really get it all, but that's fine. He's just got even more questions to ask people now.

☢ He does sometimes remember things from his past, just small flashes, but he hates doing so, and will do his best to re-forget. He won't mention or talk about them. He doesn't want to. He is super mutant now. He is Strong.

[principiumindividuationis777]

Curtains Fall Lightly (Historical Noir)

Chapter I

At a leading manufacturer of aircraft, especially military aircraft, in the Summer and Autumn of 1963, events unfolded as described.

Philip Morris was a dying man, having received a dire prognosis from his physician. A leading contact between the firm and United States government agencies, he attempted to teach the much younger George Blythe to replace him, briefing Blythe on a situation as grim as Morris's own.

"Young man, you must understand that this company is under attack from within. It's not the Soviets primarily, but a woman named Rosalind Kerr, ostensibly a consulting advisor. Even I don't know who she works for, but she uses blackmail of our board and our employees to advance her own position, and what she wants, as far as I can tell, is an escalation of warfare, in any and all parts of the world, to increase sales of our aircraft, receiving a generous percentage in her own accounts of the resulting profits and cash flow."

"The compromising data is seldom obtained by Mrs. Kerr personally, you understand," continued Morris, "But by her mousy little male secretary, Joseph Wheedle, aptly named if ever anyone was. I have never seen anyone so good at a show of false humility, and he gains trust, and thereby ruins lives."

"Why does he share this information with Mrs. Kerr?" asked Blythe.

"Ah, that's the key. I have rumor and conjecture. I believe that Wheedle, some fifty years old and unmarried, may have homosexual tendencies, taboo to many, even illegal, and that most likely Mrs. Kerr knows this and compels him to share in her goals, and to share his ill-gotten gains with her."

Morris added a hint that perhaps Blythe should uncover proof of Wheedle's secret life, to leverage against him, and continued to explain the company's sinister cabal.

"Now, as you can see, Kerr is a woman, and not a young one, and Wheedle is a small man of little physical prowess. When blackmail is not an option, they have a man, Michael Pocius, though I am one of the few who knows Michael's real name. Nearly everyone calls him 'Clawboy'. He was born elsewhere, but by age fourteen, was a student in America, and at that age, did something so gruesome to the Principal of his school that the papers would not describe it, but the nickname Clawboy has been with him since. Do you remember the Cleveland murders of the 1930's? The ones even Eliot Ness couldn't solve? No? Well, such is your youth. I have every reason to believe Pocius was the culprit, though he deflected blame on to some mental hospital patient. Six foot three and never gave man or woman a quick death, he is as dangerous as they come, and he works for Kerr, who pays him well, though he will still hurt most anyone for sport."

"Why isn't he arrested?"

"Because Wheedle has compromising information on policemen and judges too."

"Surely, not all of this company is part of Mrs. Kerr's plot?"

"No, just those three, as far as I know. In this wing you will find Ramon Germanos, as he is legally known. It may be a poor translation of his Spanish name- he's from Mexico- but that is beside the point. He is a bitter bureaucrat who obstructs everyone in his path. His father died in a riot, I hear, and he hates the system for failing him."

"If he hates the system, isn't this company the essence of, well, the system?"

"Exactly, and from this very vantage point he can make life miserable for the people he quietly and, technically, law-abidingly hates, which is all of us."

"A job much like mine is done by the less experienced Leonard Collins. He is loyal, but much too impulsive for such secretive work, I believe. The one other person you'll need to know of is someone I know only as Three Eyes- never knew his real name. He's from India, I think, and every now and then you'll have to meet him at a planned location so he can give you the latest on Soviet aircraft, giving us, and the USA, a great advantage. Three Eyes is a spy, though I don't know who he works for- some say Britain, but I'm unsure, and now, if you'll excuse me, I am rather tired, so I'm going to rest in my office."

Chapter II

Morris had not considered Ramon Germanos's wife, Jayne (maiden name unknown), important enough to mention, and this is understandable. As far as the world knew, she was a bleach blonde imitation of Marilyn Monroe, but without the talent. Relying on Ramon's money, she had a résumé of only a few unprofitable films of the lowest quality, such as "Snake Women of Acapulco"… or so she wished the world to believe.

Morris also failed to mention Trenchcoat, often just called Trench. His existence was considered something of a legend. From the aeronautics firm up to governments around the world, many had heard the legend of Trenchcoat, but most disbelieved in it. The stories went that he was supposed to live in an abandoned building somewhere near this airplane manufacturer, and though some CIA agents initially took the stories seriously enough to search abandoned buildings around the city, no trace of this semi-mythical being was found.

No one had ever seen Trench's face, though some claimed to have heard his voice, either by telephone, or in person, in his pitch black lair, they said, though these supposed witnesses were often less than credible. No one knew Trench's agenda or loyalties, or if he even existed, at least not until Mrs. Kerr's schemes brought matters to a head.

Finally, in my attempts to keep the stranger than fiction nature of this report comprehensive, there is Linda Aeons (real name unknown), the only person in America who could openly assert being a Soviet agent and remain at liberty, because no one believed her. Supposedly a Romanian immigrant, she would hang around important government and corporate buildings, point her fingers like a hypnotist, believing that she was hexing passersby, mainly the employees, go into strange dances, have conversations with spirits (or so she claimed)… aside from several stays in mental hospitals, which generally found her to be harmless, as she never became violent, no institution took Linda seriously.

Having apprised the reader of those involved, the reader can now understand what transpired that fateful year. (Excuse the poetic touch, dear reader.)

Chapter III

George Blythe quickly became acquainted with the ways of Ramon Germanos. Blythe filed a report comparing American and Soviet aircraft, only to have Germanos interfere and claim it was "written unprofessionally". When Blythe asked how he should change it, Germanos replied, "You are supposed to be a professional. You should know." Thus, a report he could have finished in two days took four rewrites and three weeks to meet with Germanos's grudging approval.

Blythe once sneaked into Germanos's office, and found a treatise on anarchism. Confronting Germanos with it, Ramon explained it away as "understanding subversives- to defeat them, we must understand them." With what Morris had told him, however, Blythe doubted this explanation.

This soon became moot, however, as Germanos overplayed his hand attempting such obstructive tactics against Rosalind Kerr. Soon after this, photographs of a most graphic nature, proving what many already knew, became widely available within the firm, and to law enforcement, and to anyone else who wanted the information that they contained.

Ramon Germanos had married Jayne to keep up appearances, but much preferred men. His face was very recognizable in the photographs, but the other man's face could not be seen. Philip Morris, however, though by now like a walking cadaver, and straining to speak, insisted that the other man was Joseph Wheedle, and told Blythe that, to undermine Mrs. Kerr's schemes, Blythe needed to prove this.

"How could I prove it? We can't see his face."

"W-we [here a coughing fit interrupted Morris's speech]… we can see a scar on his ribs, near his left elbow… here. Prove Wheedle has this."

Blythe could think of only two ways of proving this: One would be to find some reason to have Wheedle throughly searched, but no such reason could be found. The other was far more distasteful to the very heterosexual, as some might later say, George Blythe, but he went through with it.

Not an unattractive young man from Wheedle's point of view, Blythe saw enough of Wheedle one night to be certain that yes, Joseph was the other man in the photo.

In the meanwhile, however, Ramon Germanos had done in himself, and Blythe, himself more than a little shaken over how he had to obtain the information on Wheedle, went off drinking at various bars during work hours, rather against regulations, and at one such bar, met with, it seemed, a grieving Jayne, but it was there and then that we would find that the sad-eyed blonde was a myth, and a cold heart and head lived beneath that façade.

Chapter IV

A less than sober Blythe had mentioned to Leonard Collins his encounter with Wheedle, and Collins thought that he might try the same, but with the more drastic aim of ending Wheedle's life, hoping this would put an end to Mrs. Kerr's hold over the corporation. Ransacking Wheedle's place to make it look like a robbery, Collins reported to an abandoned building, an old warehouse, devoid of any lighting, proudly boasting of what he had done.

"I did it Trench. Got that little scoundrel once and for all, and even if Mrs. Kerr has his info, she'll be too scared now to act."

An eerie, quavering voice replied out of the darkness, none too pleased.

"You foolish whelp. Kerr has ten times the physical courage of Wheedle. You should have killed her to frighten him. Employing you was my biggest mistake. This is an easier death than Clawboy would give you."

A dim shadow in the room's darkness flung a knife at Collins, hitting his target, and Collins was never found.

Chapter V

At the bar, Jayne, red eyes and running makeup, seemed to be the most pitiable sight Blythe had ever seen, until his vision began to blur, and over he fell, dead. Jayne looked confused and frightened. The bartender assumed that George had just been drinking too much, and would soon recover.

Jayne kept up her dumb blonde act for about three blocks, then her face set to stone, and she got in a car with an up-to-date telephone, calling the man Collins would refer to as Trench.

"Blythe was drinking on the job. I made the drink his last."

"You always were one for drastic action, but I suppose weak wills have no place in our line," replied the same strange, quavering voice, though distorted a bit by the phone.

"Say, Trench, aren't you concerned someone might bug our phones?"

"No, because the man they send to do that had a car accident, Jayne. They don't make brake lines so reliably in those foreign makes."

Needless to say, even when coroners found the poison, no one suspected the grieving, not overbright widow, as they reckoned her, but authorities were out looking for someone who fit their idea of a dangerous spy or criminal.

"One more thing before you hang up, Jayne: You must act against Mrs. Kerr now. Wheedle swore revenge if anyone got him, and something terrible is coming. Kerr would take full advantage of it. No time to explain. Take care of her. You know how."

Chapter VI

Jayne, seemingly an intoxicated mess, sobbing for "Ramon", went to Kerr's home, as if to seek a maternal figure. Kerr disdained the girl utterly, considering her, as she had once said to Wheedle, "a waste of hair dye", but did not want Jayne to make a scene outside her home, a home always watched by agents of more than one country.

Inviting Jayne, who acted as if she could barely stand, into her home, Mrs. Kerr sent Carlos, her servant, to get coffee for Jayne. By the time Carlos returned, Jayne had already dispatched with Mrs. Kerr, using Dim Mak, I am told. As an unfortunate witness, a petrified Carlos discovered that Jayne, like Trench, was an adept thrower of knives.

Rosalind Kerr being gone, Clawboy had no loyalties, but would continue to be the most physically dangerous criminal on the streets, for profit and sport, beginning with an armored car robbery in early November, 1963, an incident that left two guards dead.

What Trench said about Joseph Wheedle's threats was, according to the best sources, true. He had threatened more than once that if anything happened to him, he had a "Communist cell" that would "remove" the most important man on Wheedle's long list of compromised individuals, and the "cell" did so, on November 22, 1963.

Chapter VII

By the end of November, several more robberies and deaths, some too terrible to describe, marked wherever Clawboy had traveled, hitting several cities so that a pattern would not, by most, be noticed.

Some took notice, however, including Jayne. She was back on the car phone.

"I know Clawboy has no agenda anymore, but in a way, he is off his leash. Enough more of this, especially if he did too much in one city, and it would worsen the crisis in public trust that is already inevitable, after what happened to the President, and given what the new President is."

"You are correct, Jayne," said the by now familiar, quavering voice, "And I intend to act."

"You know better than anyone where he is, Trench. Just tell me and I'll do it."

"Jayne, have you ever read of Clawboy's idea of amusement back in Cleveland? You are a deadly woman, but if you and Clawboy ever met, you would go that way. I must insist. The only person alive better at violence than Clawboy is me, and I must do this one personally."

Chapter VIII

A limping, elderly hobo hobbled down a rural road not far from Baltimore. A blue Bel Air drove up behind him, driven by a grinning Michael Pocius, who thought he would play some games with the old man.

Clawboy drove the car directly at the hobo. There were no witnesses in sight, so it was just the two of them. The old man managed to throw himself to one side, but could not return to his feet. Pocius parked his car on a dime, and got out, strutting triumpantly and chuckling, pulling out a knife in his gloved hands, one with a finely carved handle.

The transient seemed resigned to his fate, smoking one last cigarette, as Clawboy, like Trench and Jayne, was about to practice his knife throwing skills, but suddenly, Pocius fell over, and was obviously no longer living when he hit the ground.

The "cigarette" had been a blowgun, and one assumes, the "elderly hobo" was an elaborate disguise of Trenchcoat.

Philip Morris passed away in 1964, and last I heard, Three Eyes and Linda Aeons had joined a commune in the vicinity of San Francisco, California.

Sincerely,

Trenchcoat

[justaredheadf1fan]

What the hell was this, Australia?

Sup people!

No, I did not wake up to watch Quali at 7am. I mean, I could still be asleep but here we are 🤣

Quali - Saturday

Let's see what this mess of a weekend takes us now.

Sargeant having some trouble there. CHECO GOES OFF. YES!!!!! Red Flag and it's a RBR. Life is good. He'd been having a tone of trouble during FP3. But why is it never his damn teammate!?

That was a rather quick one, pretty quiet so far apart from the Checo snafu. Sharl is going through it apparently, poor boy is struggling.

Q1 is coming to an end and expectations are running wild at the moment.

Merc babies please proceed to move your asses out of the drop-out zone, I'm about to have a heart attack. LOL LANCE P1. There we go, babe!

I was gonna say "the Ferraris are fighting!" but I see Sharl getting P1 from Stroll and Carlos just being around. And Norris keeps just going off track like he's talking a walk.

That bird has been reborn after that near miss 🤣 How on Earth is Nico right there on the top? He's doing quite a good job lately. Lewis joining the party right at the end.

The battle begins, I know how this ends but seeing it myself hours later feels exactly as exciting as it would've at 7am.

LEWIS GOES P1!!! Shame it just lasts for a minute, but God does it feel right!

Rain is on the way and there's just time for one last push. Okay I believe I've just seen the reason why Sharl was all salty right after Quali.

What the fuck was Nico doing? Shit and Alonso gets P2, Jesus this is a fucking nailbiter!! But here come the Merc boys, right the last second they make it!! God, what is this!!!!!

Just watched the interviews post Quali and it's so funny how Lewis and George are so in sync for everything, including leaving Sid the sloth behind without missing a beat 🤣 I love to see it, why lie about it.

More of this stuff tomorrow I hope, it's an amazing start, way better than I anticipated, so hoping for the good stuff again.

Race - Sunday

G'day everyone, I'm dead right now. Why is it so early? 🥹

This is about to start now, and I can't be any happier that McLaren is looking so bad. Well deserved.

It's go time. GEORGE TAKES P1, SHARL OFF TRACK TO THE GRAVEL AND LEWIS FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE GETS P2!!!!!! Safety Car coming out after Lance pushed Sharl off track to the gravel. Boy what a start!

Fraudstappen (yes, I'm coming back to this because he deserves it) complaining on the radio about Lewis pushing him out. Are you fucking kidding me? You fuck up the start because every time you have Lewis close you lose your shit and then you can't even defend your position, so "he pushed you off". Go fuck yourself.

That said, even Carlos had a better start. Quite impressive. But why does everything bad always happening to Charles? It's so unfair, my baby does not deserve this.

George shut up. Please, I love you a lot but lately you're getting on my nerves. Yes, Lewis is attacking, he's come to take no prisoners. But that's Lewis Hamilton you're talking about and last time you fucked around and you might just find out now.

ALBON IS OUT! SAFETY CAR DEPLOYED FOR THE SECOND TIME IN LESS THAN 10 LAPS! AND LEWIS IS P1, STOP THE COUNT! STOP THE FUCKING COUNT! And this turns into a Red Flag.

My, poor Sharl. So unfair. Why can't he have something nice? What is it that he has to do? Oh God and that camera angle from Nico????? Scary as fuck tbh.

So, it's a Standing Start now. I'm scared but I know Lewis can do this with his eyes closed. Alonso just behing Cuntstappen, this calls for a crash between the two. IN ALONSO WE TRUST.

COME ON LEWIS, HERE WE GO. FERNANDO FOR FUCK'S SAKE GET THE MORON. The restart is being investigated now due to half the cars stopping in the same spot. Jesus.

DRS enabled and Alonso flopped. I hate this. I mean, who wouldn't catch the leader with an illegal car? No surprises. But still he cries when he's been passed fair and square. Asshole. How is it possible getting 2 SECONDS in HALF a lap? And no team complains or does anything? It's unbelievable.

So Alonso suddenly has pace again and it's just in time to get to Lewis, but he "couldn't" do anything to catch Fraudstappen. What a surprise.

GEORGE HAS FIRE ON THE BACK OF HIS CAR. LEWIS ALL ALONE NOW, SHIT. He had to stop at the exit of the pit lane and it's now closed. Facing a VSC now. It's 3 cars down so far today. Shit Australia, don't make it worse now.

Back to racing again, just hope Alonso flops the same way he does agains the idiot. This feud with Lewis (only Lewis) is just uncalled for. He's the only driver he's doing this with. Never fights Cuntstappen but Lewis appears and it's his time to start doing something every single time.

At least if anyone can manage the tyres and do a fantastic job defending his position, that's Lewis. I just wish he could catch Sid the Sloth again and slap him in the face, but as I said, with an illegal car even the rest of us could win that easily.

Alonso back to playing his game again. Can this race please end already? This has been enough. I'm dying here. And Carlos... Yes, that overtake on Pierre was fantastic but he manages that once every 8 races? He's above Sharl on sheer luck, not because he deserves anything, same as his seat in Ferrari, purely because of his last name, because he shouldn't be there, he's done nothing really worthy of getting a Ferrari seat. And I'll die on this hill.

Lewis setting Fastest Lap twice is just something worth watching. Other than this, I really want to go back to sleep, this is bullshit.

I hope Pierre catches Carlos, he deserves it. Cuntstappen going off to the grass and losing 3 full seconds. Can't he just have a PU problem? Can't care enough either about Norris getting passed Nico. McLaren needs to flop 100%.

KEVIN NO!!!! HE HAS A FAILURE AND HAS TO STOP ON TRACK. SAFETY CAR DEPLOYED. He's lost a wheel too!? I can't believe this. Will they finish under SC at the race that Masi's watching? Or will they race until the end? RED FLAG. AND IT'S A STANDING START? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry but no. This is fucking stupid and unacceptable. It's so clear. They set the precedent in Abu Dhabi and they just feel like they can do it all over again anytime they feel like it. Un-fucking-believable. This sport is so unserious.

God, I hate this shit. I can't cross any more fingers right now. AND YESSSSSS CARLOS HITS FERNANDO!!!!!!! NOOOO ESTEBAN AND PIERRE NO!!!!!! ANOTHER RED FLAG!!!!

And this is what happens when the FIA does whatever they want to fuck around with one driver. They put every single one of them at risk, because on a 2-lap race everyone will risk it. Fucking morons, this could've been avoided by not restarting or just by restarting under SC (which would've been nonsense too tbh). This is shameful.

Now what? We don't have any news from Esteban and Pierre, are they even okay? I really do, that was so unlucky for both of them. Shame they had to pay for this bullshit. We need a body to control the FIA. I'm sorry but they shouldn't be in charge on their own anymore. This is absolutely stupid, dangerous and someone will get killed again if they keep acting like this. They can't be trusted.

So I guess it'll be a rolling start and it'll end up the way it's looking now? God I should've never got up to watch this 🤣 In the mean time, Lewis is vibin' and Toto is making friends. Please, let this be done.

5-second penalty for Carlos for hitting Alonso. All in favor of Carlos crashing against Fernando, but the penalty is well deserved. The FIA should've done this differently once again? absolutely. But fuck him anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️ He's the one that's caused everything on that restart, directly and indirectly.

That said, something was just brought to my attention through here as the restart appears on my screen. A certain individual was not positioned correctly at the restart. Guess who? And guess what will happen? Nothing. I do hope Mercedes and Aston Martin complain. I mean, they were super tough about this exact thing with both Esteban and Fernando, but now they're gonna give a pass to this person? That's unexpected, huh?

The only thing in this world making all of this worth is Lewis' smile. Seriously, we don't deserve him. Especially Mercedes right now, but that's a whole other story. The Cool Down room giving us one of those unexpected moments between Lewis and Alonso. It's funny, actually.

It's finally over, I just need to go back to sleep before I pull my hair out after this shit. Good thing it's another 2 weeks before the next one. This is not the sport I used to love, in all seriousness. This is just a circus. There's no sport in this left.

Peace out!

[coulsons-fullmetal-cellist]

Sexy Bespectacled

(Dieter x horror loving female reader)

Summary: you find out Dieter’s big secret

Warnings: does bad eyesight count? Dieter gets silly and horny, lots of film directors get mentioned, saucy suggestions, being woken up is always unpleasant

Check out masterlist here

A fact not many people now about Dieter Bravo is that he requires glasses.

He can see fine right in front of him and at a small distance, but any further and he’s squinting to see. He managed to get away with hiding his poor eyesight by wearing his prescription sunglasses, having lost one too many pairs of regular glasses and hating contact lenses.

He never watches any of his films because he could never see the screen at any premiere.

He had to reveal this secret to you early on in the relationship as you wanted to go on dates to the cinema and he wanted to actually see the cinema screen.

You didn’t realise you had a thing for glasses until you saw Dieter wearing his own; he somehow managed to look both adorable, sophisticated and sexy. He needed to be seen out in public, but he seemed reluctant about that.

“I think everyone will really like the glasses look”.

“Nah, big celebrities don’t go out in glasses”.

“Lots of them do”.

“Which ones”

This required some thinking: “John Landis, Guillermo del Toro, Bong Joon-ho, Ari Aster, John Carpenter…”

“Ones that haven’t directed horror films?”

That required more thinking: “George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, Francis Ford Coppola…”

“You’re only naming directors, honey cakes”.

“I don’t know much about actors; I don’t have that much interest in them, except you, of course”

“Of course” he nuzzled into your neck.

“I’m sure there’s at least one actor I know who wears glasses” you said, ignoring Dieter’s ministrations “I can’t remember though and it annoys me. I just need to not think about it and I’m sure it’ll pop into my head”

“I can think of a good distraction…” he was curling his arms around you so you could no longer ignore him.

Later that night, you remembered. You almost jumped out of bed, excited that you remembered.

“Stanley Tucci!”

Dieter awoke with a start, mumbling something about evil canaries.

“Stanley Tucci wears glasses!”

“What time is it?”

“And everyone like Stanley Tucci”

“How are you awake?”

“He’s a very likeable man and I don’t know why more people aren’t trying to be like him and wear glasses. You like him, don’t you?”

Dieter just nodded sleepily.

“And you’re just as sexy, so you’ll have that added sophistication. Don’t you agree?”

Dieter just sleepily nodded again.

“So you’ll go out wearing your glasses more?”

“At this point, I’d agree to being tied up naked to a bay hale and being spanked”.

It was only then that you realised how late it was.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry I woke you! The thought just came to my head, and I wanted to get it out of my head in case I forgot it in the morning”

Dieter mumbled something akin to an “it’s okay” as you pulled his head into your chest, kissing the top of his head.

“Honey cakes”

“Yes?”

“Please don’t tie me up naked to a hay bale”.

“Don’t worry I won’t”.

“Feel free to spank me though.”

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day 13

Ah it’s “coordinate with the carpet” day.

John could probably say “2+2=3” and Paul would be like “Oh you're sooo right, John.”

Literally the ADHD antics (jumping over a chair because it’s there and you can and it would be funner than going around) are so relatable.

Ringo putting Zac’s picture up? I don’t know much about him as a dad. Does anyone know? I mean I know part of the reason he and Mo left india was because they missed their kids, and in late 66 when John was making HIWTW and Paul was working on TFW and George was off learning filthy eastern ways, Ringo stayed home and ‘enjoyed the baby’. Was he a really good dad?

John: I really liked how that lead singer was singing so soft and nice. Paul: like this, John? Like this? John? John, look at me, do you like this?

Literally why are you even there, Yoko. Like, genuinely, not for the bands sake or anything, but for your own sake, go find somewhere else to be! Something, something, one of the few ways to find success as a woman was to attach yourself to a man and she was hustling with the best feminist tools available okay, okay. Ugh, I just don't know if I could stomach it.

I heard John say “Rickie and the Red Streaks” and I was like, ummm, did you mean “Suzie and the Red Stripes”? But apparently it’s a real band. They were in the same Cavern show as the Beatles when they came back from Hamburg but never made it big. And Paul was purposely referencing them with Linda's pretend band because, as he said, he would have been happy to just have been them instead of the Beatles. 

“John, can you take a little bit of bass off your guitar?” The faces. Paul told him to take some bass off a minute ago, didn't he? Or he just knows how much John hates to be told that. Anyway it's the silent communication for me.

Paul: *stops his little wordless moan-singing for two seconds*. John: Everybody had a wet drea–SING, Paul! Paul: Ooohh yeah! He’s sooo happy I’m melting. Paul McCartney wants one thing in this life, and it’s for John Lennon to tell him to sing.

“He would’ve been president, you know.” John, bless your naive, lovely heart. 

Paul: shrieking. John: moves the microphone the way a mom takes the sharpie out of her toddler’s hand. 

“If you can get ‘em off Mimi’s wall.” I have a hard time with Mimi. Sometimes she’s adorable. Sometimes she’s horrible. I really can’t get a read. And maybe that was the problem. Maybe John couldn’t either. 

This moment. My little ND baby. Someone just hit your g spot, didn’t they? But to be fair, it is incredibly impressive. Billy has never heard the song before, and he just jumps in with the perfect fill? I love Billy. So talented, such a cutie, so cool, so kind. And look at him. Having such a good time.

The silent communication again here. “Are you hearing this?” “Yeah, baby, I’m hearing this.” Then, John vocalizes the decision. How many Beatles decisions were made like this? Thinking specifically of Brian's account of their decision for him to manage, but probably this happened constantly. 

Yoko reading “The Beatles Complete History”. I love that she’s like, “Everything John tells me is ‘Paul this, Paul that, wah, wah, wah’. I need to get some cold hard facts.” 

Billy’s piano actually is insanely sexy though.

John: *complains about his rock and roll finger* Paul, turning up the scouse: Come on, son, now try your hardest. John continues, soft, needy' Lookie, look at him. *holding up his finger* Paul, genuine: Ah, I know. I just love the different ways they take care of each other. 

Poor George, dissociating himself into another dimension as John’s crooning about Paul’s eating habits. Look. At. How. He’s. Looking. At. Him. You’d think Paul was in that moment creating the heavens and the earth. Nope. Just rocking back and forth like a catatonic, probably getting crumbs all in his greasy beard.

But seriously HOW is everyone in this room watching these two men, taking in to account all of their behaviors, scream "All I want is you!" at each other and not forcing them immediately into either fucking or therapy or both?!

Ringo’s holey pocket, my beloved. 

The guy with the RP accent and the suit coming up to John like the bad guy in every American children’s movie. “I’ve spoken to Mr. Klein.” Dun, dun, dun.

[actualhumancryptid]

She Loves me > You’ve Got Mail.

TLDR: I compare the power dynamics of the two and explain why I still can’t stand You’ve Got Mail.

I have to say, I loathed You’ve Got Mail when I saw it for the first time. And now that I have finally rewatched it, I feel the exact same infuriation that I felt at age fifteen. Sitting in that cinema and watching the credits roll out, right after Joe and Kathleen end up together. Looking around wondering why nobody else feels ripped off.

I still hate Joe. I really thought it was my teenage cynicism, back then, that wouldn’t let me enjoy this lighthearted movie that everyone else loved. But nope. At fifteen, even I recognised there was something unsatisfying about that ending. And Joe’s arc, where he puts Kathleen out of business, and then later befriends her and lies to her, seemingly enjoying the fun of talking to her about her online friend, and spinning her in circles over it. And, somehow, at the film’s conclusion there is swooning when he reveals himself.

And yet, I didn’t hate She Loves Me, (the 1963 musical they revived on Broadway in 2016, and one of the many versions of this story). I think having Georg and Amalia just work in the same perfume store as bitter rivals, instead of literally being rival business owners, remained the right choice. Having them be co-workers was the choice in Parmumerie, the original 1937 Hungarian play, and in the 1940 Jimmy Stewart film The Shop Around The Corner.

In She Loves Me there are far less nefarious power dynamics at play. Georg can be a dick, for sure, but he and Amalia are on more even footing right up until he sees her waiting to meet him with that rose, and does the same jerky act of both standing her up/goading her about being stood up as Joe. And I recall he might have similarly teased her, later on, when talking about Amalia’s Dear Friend. (I will need to rewatch to double check, though I feel like the momentum of the ending of the musical was really quick).

Still, Georg isn’t some master of the universe with a big empire behind him. He goes back to work the floor of the same shop as Amalia, right after. So while his behaviour was not great, it just doesn’t hit the same. Maybe the imagined-past of it all helped set the tone, with the 1960′s musical set in the same period as the 1930′s original. Or perhaps the language of the musical smoothed the edges, with the help of Laura Benanti.

Or perhaps the real difference is that Georg and Amalia may despise each other, but it’s hostility based on over-familiarity. They spend countless hours together working, and we can imagine that some of the friction between them is from that spark of chemistry that is pretty clear to us from their first scene. It isn’t the same as the sworn enemies running-in-the-same--New-York-crowd of You’ve Got Mail, which are brief encounters by comparison.

At the end of the day, I found it easier to believe that Amalia would suspect and hope that Dear Friend was Georg,

I have no idea why poor Kathleen would wish the same of Joe.

[wooglebear]

Her.

Another OC for my Roleswap AU. Yes, my poor roleswap AU — which has blossomed into something… a lot more complex than your average TETOCU AU when it was originally supposed to be a simple swap AU to the point where I'm going to write it as a bunch of tumblr posts.

Yet I still have plans for more OCs!

This OC here is Catherine Yomiuri (no relation)!

She is a teen who is half American and half Japanese, and was JUST introduced into Pamela and Summer's family as a stepsister. Regardless to say Pamela is confused af and Summer is excited to have some company.

She's a bit of an influencer. She's not quite as vain as Valentine, though, and she doesn't use her cellphone for influencer things like her cousin. While Valentine believes he is going to be famous, Catherine is a bit humbler.

Deep inside she hates herself for her nationality, but clings to a bubbly facade. Basically, a Type A Stepford Smiler.

Yes, she made her own hairstyle and has heterochromia.

She feeds the younger kids porky tales of derring do. Not adventure type derring do, but "oh, I smoked" type derring do.

She's the kind of bitch that will brag about how much underage drinking she does to get bad girl cred, only to pass out from like, a single beer. Seriously, she takes one sip of the stuff and is coughing her lungs out thinking she’s gonna die. She talks big talk and acts all cool but she has no tolerance. None.

However, Catherine has an Achilles heel: She hates British stuff, and she's pretty sure that she doesn’t belong in the twins' house. Unfortunately, every time she tries to get away, someone yanks her back into a British manner learning class she’d rather skip.

She loves parties, though. She knows from experience that parties with piñatas are particularly fun.

She's friends with the Brown sisters and their cousin, Henrietta. Whatever they do - larping, paintball, ect., she does too.

Technically, she is also Valentine Glorious's cousin, and is just about the only one out of Pamela and Summer that tolerates him. Given how both Valentine and Catherine are influencers, Catherine tries to teach him other influencing ways (noticing his lack of interactions with others, and his general lack of… humility), though she’s not happy when she realizes what a narcissistic prick he is. Valentine would drive pretty much everyone up the wall with his incessant narcissistic nature. Valentine calls a frustrated Catherine "Cathy". He requires more work, more time to get through to someone as vain as him.

Catherine is a bit mischievous. She loves playing pranks on ppl. Her favourite is prank calling on April Fools' Day!

Catherine loves Pokemon the Series: Sun and Moon, Sailor Moon, Transformers Rescue Bots, SpongeBob, Dora the Explorer, Blaze And The Monster Machines, Bubble Guppies, Abby Hatcher, Butterbean's Cafe, Gravity Falls, The Owl House, Amphibia, TGAMMG, and more. Her stepsisters are confused as to why she loves "childish" shows compared to their beloved British shows like Mr. Bean and Peppa Pig. Her sisters are camp Sofia the First while she's Camp Elena of Avalor. She cried when everyone “died” in Raya and the Last Dragon.

Has admitted to binge reading the entirety of Ennui Go.

Her voice claim is Jessica DiCicco, lol

Speaks Japanese every now and then but she mainly uses English.

"バレンタイン...黙っててくれるの?!" (Translation: Valentine... Will you just SHUT THE HELL UP?!) - Catherine to Valentine

Neutral with Melvin and Melvin-Borg. Instantly hated George and Harold.

Catherine's opinons on her stepsisters is that she doesn't have a major problem with either of them. They are her stepsisters and as far as she's concerned, there's a mutual, however strained, love she shares between them.

Catherine never knew her (Japanese) dad. The "In Space" arc provides more insight on the stepsisters' (British and American) mothers through video calls.

If Hazel ever met Catherine it would basically be Dave and Sky, but platonic and both are girls. Don't worry, Cathy won't become a disgusting pyscho.

She's a bit of a barista, making all sorts of drinks. She loves to experiment. Her favorite flavor is black tea, topped only by bubble tea.

And that's all I've got for Catherine!

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

Further Umineko-ing. Again

episode 1, part 3

whenever battler is unavailable, kumasawa has taken the up the role of exposition and comic relief, which is nice. i like granny characters and id be interested to hear more from her perspective, since she is sly and nosy. being a maid really exposes you to a lot of dirty laundry.

a new plot point came up. i didnt initially take this one seriously bc of how stupid it sounds. apparently there is a SECRET FAMILY TREASURE OF GOLD hidden on the island somewhere. really not a direction i expected but suuuuure. physical 10t of gold somewhere. there is something deeply funny about the headship and possibly the pact with beatrice being tied to a little private family paperchase. fact of the matter is, kinzo is WAY too serious about being chuuni to lie about this. as unrealistic as having 10t of gold just sitting around somewhere is. its an almost cute touch that beatrice is the family's personal boogyman - an entity children get warned about so they dont stray too deep into the forest and stay out after dark. except shes real i GUESS.

well, thats ominous.

maria once again exhibits a scary amount of sincereness towards the topic, which on its own isnt that weird, since shes nine years old. she mentions she wants to grow up to be a witch as well. another thing to put a pin into.

(looks at krauss' hair colour) uh oh sisters

at the same time, the same discussion is happening between kinzos children. since it seems clear krauss has in the past misappropriated his fathers funds, his siblings are - loving as they are -, offering him a way out. they will not investigate further, should he meet the following conditions:

right, hideyoshi is there too. btw.

at this point its perfect to mention that eva's va, ito miki, is doing an amazing job. every word eva says drips with poison. and hideyoshi has a way of being extremely unyielding, while keeping a kind and sincere face and voice. probably explains while george is like that

worringly, krauss just accepts it instantly but remarks hes too poor to pay the 10% in advance. everyone hated that!!!! however, krauss did his homework too. evas husband is plagued by shareholders that want to dispossess him. rudolf somehow got himself in front of court, without the knowledge of his wife nonetheless. no idea what rosas problem is, aside from the fact that her siblings talked her into the contract and she has yet to make it. as it turns out. everyone is neckdeep in trouble and NEEDS MONEY RIGHT NOW!!!! (the game spells this out in caps) except for krauss. funnily enough. he would only need instant money, should he sign the contract.

so there is no upper hand to be gained or control to be had. they are ALL cringe.

(this is where hideyoshi finally cracks. he does not lose his temper but is visibly uncomfortable.)

the contract remains unsigned. also they got spied on. it turns out kinzo also tolerates kanon around him, if its to spy on conversations his children had. needless to say he finds this hilarious and he has other worries anyway. hes trying to resurrect beatrice with black magic fuelled by the risks hes taking in life.

this truly is like world's shittiest family get together over the holidays. except way more money is one the line. but the emotional exhausting and toxicity is very true to life. rich people probably live like this. horrid.

magic in this vn is built up on risks taken and wagers made. the smaller the possibility of success, the better. which is why kinzo encourages the gold hunt in the first place. the more people look for it, the more powerful he becomes. and then he can ??!??!? resurrect beatrice. im just accepting that. necessary plot device to keep moving.

nanjo has the kindest reading on the gold paperchase: kinzo might have put it together to force his children to work together in solving it, thus mending their relationships and becoming a happy peaceful family.

yeeeeeeaaahhhh no................. at least thats not his prime motive. it could still be a side effect though.

the riddle to get there is as follows:

KILLLLLLLL !!!!!!!! REND! MAIM!

so here we are. "my beloved home of old" might already be the island. or maybe its more metaphorical than that. it is currently october 4th in the game and i have read up to the afternoon. that COULD theoretically mean the a "first twilight" could happen soon. if that part of the riddle is already relevant at all. welp lets see