#But now I'm thinking about my issues with my sex

[leviathanxprincess]

Introducing The Kings to Your Plushies

me and my bestie have a joke about my faves showing up to my place for sex and i would not realize and just start talking about my plushies based on this dumb post we saw once, thought it'd be funny to turn into an actual scenario lol might do this for the other devils, angels, minhyeok if the ppl are interested lol notes: mildly sexual - not really anything deeply insane, gender neutral reader !!!

Satan

On one hand, he thinks you're really cute. On the other hand, he's here to fuck so.

He's going back and forth so much in his head for a moment he's not even paying attention to you talking oops.

Gets so frustrated and angered from trying to decide what to do it ultimately ends with him just jumping on you.

Cut you off mid word with an incredibly heat filled kiss from rage.

Honestly you might not even 100% be certain what happened but you're not complaining!! You can always talk about the rest of your plushies later!!!

Well. If Satan doesn't fuck you until the point you're resting for the next couple days.

Once he actually pays attention to you talking about them he'll remember some names here and there, but he will get them wrong on purpose to try and see you angry lol.

Mammon

The reality is he probably got you most of these plushies.

He adores seeing how you cherish them and the lore you've decided for them!!

Will remember every single detail you tell him about them!!

He thinks it's super cute and will humor you for the moment.

However, Mammon will get what he wants eventually. But for right now you're so adorable how could he tell you no?

He is DEFINITELY teasing you later once he does get to sleep with you about how cute you are.

This man lives to see you embarrassed and shy from his compliments.

Is probably buying you even MORE plushies now, hope you're prepared for that!

Leviathan

I think it depends at the point in your relationship, if it's early on he might just toss the plushies aside and get to the point of what he wants.

Later on I do think he genuinely listens, even if he's impatient and pretends like he doesn't care. If it's important to you he does care, just doesn't always show it.

Especially if you use the plushies as a form of comfort due to trauma or any other issues.

You won't even realize how much he paid attention until he refers to your plushies by their names if you accidentally leave them laying around.

However he does still get jealous so so easily so maybe try not to spend too much time at once focusing on them rather than him.

He tries so hard but eventually the jealousy will overtake him and he will just get straight to the sex.

For what it's worth, he still found you cute! He just can't help himself.

Beelzebub

I'm not gonna lie, you might be able to successfully distract him for a good bit.

Dude's invested in the names and lore and anything you have created for them!!! He likes hearing about it !!!!

He isn't gonna be able to remember every single bit of these details but he might remember some of it here and there. Either way he likes listening to how you talk about them!

That being said he can only sit still for so long so maybe introduce him a little at a time lmao.

Especially because once he DOES start to get distracted he's gonna remember the original reason he was here.

And well. Yeah just like that it's time to fuck!

Because you successfully distracted him for a bit you might be in store for an extra long session this time so! Good luck!

Lucifer

He listens fully. Wants to hear everything you have to say about them.

He finds the plushies super cute, so he enjoys listening to your ramblings, even if he had certain intentions when he arrived.

But most importantly, he's so endeared, you're so absolutely adorable to him. The way your face lights up when you talk about them, he can't get enough!!!!

So he lets you have your moment.

And when you're finally done is when he's actually gonna fuck you lol. Yeah, that was still happening he had a goal.

And if he's teasing you extra specially tonight, don't even worry about it (whether it be from compliments or degradation who's to say!! just know you're gonna be crying extra hard this time he's so worked up from how cute you are!).

Of course, he remembers every single detail you tell him, he has that shit committed to memory. Asks you questions sometimes to see that adorable look on your face again!

Belphegor

Goodnight.

He tries to pay attention but he's ready to fall asleep apologies.

He showed up for sex and when it wasn't happening his brain turned off.

That being said the second you realize he's asleep and start trying to wake him up he's on you!!

Like okay conversation done we're fucking now right?

It's just easier to give what he wants and lecture him in the process.

It's fine he tries to listen later. That being said if he invites Beleth to listen too don't worry about it. He totally didn't tell him to memorize details for him because he's probably gonna fall asleep again.

Asmodeus

Sorry there's just no way to distract this man from sex.

If he's showing up for sex he's here to for sex !!!!

And he WILL get it!!!

If anything he just starts fucking you while holding up the plushies to you and asking you details about them.

Unfortunately you're kinda too fucked out by that point to truly answer them.

He's a fucking menace apologies.

And he cannot be stopped I fear.

That being said any information he does manage to get out of you he does fully remember!!

It's his own weird way of showing affection, ya know?

[darkphoenixmage]

Okay so, I saw this a few weeks ago and I tried, I tried really hard to be just "Neat" and move on. But I can't, I can't stop thinking about this AU, I can't stop thinking about the logistics of it of the changes to dynamics that would take place as a result. So now all y'all get to read my rabid logistical analysis of this AU.

First and foremost, Yusuke Yukimura can NOT slap Keiko Urameshi even once it would ruin his good student rep because double standards, alas. At the same time, because Yusuke is a good-boy now, no perving on Keiko by lifting her skirt to look at her panties or anything. On the flip-side, I propose that Keiko Urameshi would flash panties and maybe bra at Yusuke Yukimura, to retain the casual perversion but it's really just to get a rise out of Yusuke (honestly I think that's why he casually pervs on Keiko in canon, to get a rise out of her) The teachers are always slut shaming Keiko and insinuating or just stating outright how she'll end up just like her mother, never mind that Keiko is a virgin and intends to wait till marriage in order to avoid ending up in her mother's situation. Because those teachers are assholes. Keiko and Kuwabara rivalry can NOT happen because even as a punk Kazuma Kuwabara is a good boy and will NOT hit girls, I see two solutions to this, however one solution would kinda ruin the whole Kuwabara/Hiei. Solution one; switch Kazuma and Shizuru's birth order but keep their personalities mostly the same as in canon, except Kazuma will be more like end of series or even a bit more mature given he had to help raise his little sister, and tried to raise her to be a proper lady, which didn't take nearly as well as Shizuru's lessons in 'being a man' did with Kazuma. Likely because Kazuma would never hit his little sister while Shizuru had no issues beating on her little brother (double standards yay /s) As a result, Shizuru is rebelling and being a rival punk girl with a little punk girl gang, to Keiko. As a result Kazuma/Hiei doesn't happen, he'd see himself as too old for Hiei, this DOES however open up the possibility of Shizuru/Hiei, which could be funny. However if we want to keep Kazuma in the group, and in love with Hiei, then the solution I propose is that Kazuma is constantly trying to defend Keiko from other punks, cause she's a girl and she the proceeds to beat the CRAP out of him and he never hits back because girl. Though this does also mean that Kazuma, while he might find Yukina frustrating won't be nearly as in your face about it because Yukina is also a girl. Now onto the logistic of an ALL MALE clan of Ice Apparitions. Honestly I'm picturing Immaculate conception M-Preg and that the Male Ice Apparitions can still father children, they just don't cause no ladies around, however they ALSO can become pregnant by outsider males, the problem is this can result in female children and they don't want females around. The question is, are these Male Ice Apparitions just as woman hating and considering them violent and evil and the source of all ills as the Koorime in canon do with men. OR do they consider women the course of evil in a more passive way, such as 'women being around makes men stupid and violent, so we just won't have women.' The former is funnier and also the more insane option but then the canon views of the Koorime is also kinda insane because even among humans women are just as capable of being violent as men it's just men are more encouraged and socialized toward violence for both recreation and solving their problems, as a group anyway not individuals, Given demons as a whole seem to be a least a little more, equal in violence between the sexes, that just makes the Koorime's views extra insane.

Oh right, Raizen. Raizen is still the Keiko's forefather, no changes there, not even in how he treats her compared to his treatment of Yusuke in canon. Honestly he might even think having a girl being the one to awaken his blood is pretty dope, after all the Urameshi fore-mother was a badass, why shouldn't his descendant also be a badass lady?

Hmmm just realized Gonzo Tarukane has the potential to be extra fucking creepy with Koorime Hiei, wonder if he'd even realize Hiei is male?Hmmmmmm I don't like thinking about this part, it would be awful and creepy regardless.

YU YU AU AU

in this alternate universe Keiko is the punk mazoku raised by a lush and Yusuke is the good boy 

Meanwhile, Yukina is a female fire demon rejected by the all-male ice apparition clan she and Hiei were born to

Also Kuwabara is in love with Hiei 

[lover-of-mine]

Just to diversify your ask box today, where do you stand on the opinion that Buck wants kids someday? Because I'm seeing people on Reddit and tumblr acting as if this is a totally fanon idea, and I disagree. While we have never seen him specify he wants kids to a partner (yet!) this is the same guy who grins a mega watt smile at every child on a call and famously told Eddie Diaz that he loves kids. That doesn't scream future DINK to me.

Anyways, there is my Buck-wants-children-propaganda.

Oh my God, Buck wants children. Buck craves children. If Buck could get pregnant, Buck would've gotten himself knocked up just because of how much that man CRAVES being a father. I don't care if people think this is fanon, it's part of Buck's character construction, we are introduced to Buck with 2 main things: he has issues with intimacy and a soft spot for children. Literally, Groovyheals and snake lady are there to show us how Buck fakes connection through sex, and then baby on the wall and subsequent fight with Athena is about how Buck gets too emotionally involved and that is made worse because it is a baby. Both of those things are super consistent for Buck throughout the whole show. But I think my main argument that Buck wants kids of his own is during his coma dream, and his reaction to his mother saying "his kids". Buck wants to be a father, just because he didn't get to a point on the show where he was ready to discuss that with a partner, it doesn't mean it's not true.

I don't even need to delve into the way Buck babytrapped himself by looking at Eddie "his mother is not in the picture" and going "our kid now". Buck inserted himself into Eddie and Chris' life and was all "don't mind me, I wanna experience unconditional love, just let me squeeze in here". That man wants children. He wants a baby. That man would have a whole soccer team if someone let him. Buck as a dink is the most insane hc ever.

[helluvapurf]

Thoughts on latest HB ep "Ghostf**kers" (*now that I've regained a bit more energy post-Halloween weekend lol*):

So the newest ep of HB has came & went from what I've seen- aaaand naturally feels like the best time for me to finally ramble about it now that its settled in my brain some more .3. Thoughts (+Spoilers) below~ NOTE: Most of this -does- get a lil rant-y below sooo... read at your own risk lol .w.;;

First things out of the way to start things off on a good note, the Pros:

To start off with... FINALLY we got some Millie focus for a major episode plot (-or more specifically, focus that doesn't get revolved back to Moxxie somehow lol)😭👏👏. Even if she still lowkey had to share the spotlight with Blitz, their friendship actually felt pretty sweet & compelling the more I watched them (esp their backstory & how Millie was allowed to stand up for herself + while also acknowledging the good in Blitz, once they talked things out 🥺👏). Which ngl, after these previous episodes reigning down HARD on this dude... idk, just felt refreshingly wholesome to see for this series, yknow?😊

New villain Rolando was pretty cool, and surprisingly spooky to watch as the second-half went on oml- .o.;; While I'm still a teensy bit confused how his powers/demon lore work (at least to what we already know about Hell limitations crossing to the human world, ex. succubi & their crystals), his underwater monster vibe gave some fun visuals to watch up until the climax. I'm not 100% familiar with John Waters' works, but damnnn he should take up voice-acting more often ngl~ 👀

FINALLY MAMA TILLA MAKES AN (on-screen) APPEARANCE 😭😭Her whole vibe & Blitz's clear love and regret over what happened to her... hhhhh my whole heart ;n; 💔

That pink client lady (Rita, I think her name is?) who assigned the hotel mission? I dig her vibe, its cute~ :3

I.M.P. feeling like a legitimate workplace family for once, with even Loona & Moxxie getting a nice lil moment towards the end?? More. Of this. Please. 👌👌

Even with the lil undertones of the Stol*itz drama from the past couple eps, I very much appreciate Blitz (+the show itself) acknowledging that what's been going is NOT a breakup ('cause... yknow, they never actually dated to begin with lol🤷‍♀️). It may not 100% fix how messy that particular narrative's been handled as of late (which I'll get to in a sec-), but eh... its a start in the right direction, I guess? .3.

Enjoyed all the colorful flashback looks given, never would I have thought I needed mercenary!Millie with a fluffy ponytail til nowww hlkjlk😩❤️

Aaaand as for the not-so-good bits (imo), aka the Cons:

Pacing felt kiiiinda all-over-the-place, I'll admit; like one min we're wasting a good chunk on Blitz's whining fest at the start (+some other pointless banter at the hotel), then the next it feels like we're breezing past Rolando's presence as the "big bad" by the end. Which... I guess I shouldn't be too harsh on given the production drama behind-the-scenes (aka: the leaked content that had to be cut & redone awhile back)... buuuut yeah, its just one of those things you can't help but notice either way 🤷‍♀️

Humor-wise wasn't... exactly at its strong point here, mainly just a lil overdone in the sex joke department imo though I guess thats also a bit par-for-the-course in a series like Hellaverse ngl- lol

Now, idk if this may be an unpopular opinion or not; but was I the only one who felt like Blitz's month-long mope fest over Stolas pretty... OOC, all things considered? .-. Like, okay its one thing for Blitz to still be understandably upset over how the last two eps went down (but being the "boss" he is, continues working anyway to keep I.M.P. afloat, as seen in the HB shorts)... but for Blitz of all people to just randomly use ALL his company's funds on useless junk, force his daughter Loona to stay up all night/not go home, drive Moxxie in a panic from all the budgeting issues this past month was just... wut- 🤦‍♀️ ...Mind you, this is meant to be the SAME Blitz who not even a few episodes ago begged Stolas to not take away the Grimoire (aka the key to his + his employee's livelihood), clearly being willing to do anything to not lose all he holds dear. You seriously expect me to believe he'd be the type to throw that all away (for a WHOLE month) to whine over some blue-blooded bird not noticing him? ...Yeaaaaah sorry, but I'm gonna have to call bs on that, chief 🙄

Kiiiinda tying in the last point, but as much as I enjoyed the tense thills gained from the "Rolando enters Blitz' mind to make him see his own flaws/past mistakes" sequence... I do have a few issues with some of these other "flashbacks" added to the mix: 1) Loona's groin kick towards Blitz in "Seeing Stars" (*wasn't Blitz's fault since ALL he did was tell her to be nice to clients... and was right about to apologize to Loona just seconds before the kick 😒*) 2) Blitz pushing Stolas' hand away in "Ozzies" (*which Blitz only did after Stolas hide his face away/didn't defend Blitz during the song*) 3) Stolas' hurt face at the end van scene of "Ozzie's" (*mind you, taking place while Blitz is rightfully standing up for himself/telling off Stolas for being a privileged creep all of S1*) 4) Stolas trying to present the Asmodean Crystal gift in "Full Moon" (*a whoooole mess in of itself I already covered prior-*) 5) Stolas angrily walking away from their pool fight + trash-talking Blitz in the "Motherf**kers" song + drunk whining + making out with a whole other dude in front of Blitz (*again, a huge mess I covered prior but TL;DR... most of that WASN'T fully-Blitz's fault in those instances??😑*)

Like... I dunno man, I don't mean to sound like I'm just ragging on Stolas per-episode as of late... but these last few points just keep giving me mixed signals than any genuine "hope" for him & Blitz to work out romantically tbh😔. For any canon couple in fiction, I WANT to see reasons for why they work best together, what kind of interests/aspects they've got in-common, what special "spark" is there that helps them stand out above all the other dynamics out there... but from what I see so far on Blitz's end, it honestly feels more like he's only gained these "feelings" for Stolas out of guilt... not because he actually wants him for him, y'know? :/ Which... ngl, sounds like a really sad precedent to send for a main-endgame couple, imho... 🤷‍♀️

-------

Soooo yeah, all that rant-y rambling aside... not a bad ep in the grand scheme of things! 👍👍Here's hoping the last few remaining eps (+possible shorts) for S2 keeps up the good work! 🙏

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

The amount of body issues I'm having rn should be illegal. One at a time please.

[captain-mj]

I can see who your favorite character is, my love. This post ain't even about him.

Before I get started, just want to say that the characters are multi-dimensional and can therefore be seen in multiple ways. Anyway! To explain my points!!

Yes, GhostGaz is lust. Absolutely. Gaz is one of the few characters that show genuine desire and want for things throughout the series. He smokes, he chats about things casually and also gets excited in Recon by Fire when he has multiple targets that he can snipe. Ghost is inhuman, lone wolf, desiring something he denies himself. Gaz is the most human (Soap stans argue with the wall) of most of the characters, being in my opinion one of the most well fleshed out ones.

They have complimentary personalities and aspects that I believe not only would have them fucking nasty, but also have them drawing towards each other constantly, wanting to be in each other's orbits, touching, etc. Lust also isn't just sex, lust is wanting something tangible in a way that defies God. Something I think the two of them already do very often.

SoapGhost as Greed. NOW HERE ME OUT. Y'all got listen for this one. Do they not get greedy over each other? Alejandro literally says he couldn't imagine calling Ghost Simon and what happened?? Yeah, he was told only Johnny could do it.

More seriously, the two of them constantly try to take more. Soap spend an entire mission trying to get more info out of Ghost about himself for no discernable reason. Ghost teases him, but he also encourages it so they can continue talking, rather than forcibly changing the subject. Soap also wants things. He wants medals, he wants to know more, he wants and wants and Soap is one of the few people that Ghost does show a want to hang out with. He also asks him questions and talks casually with him and presumably sits with him on rides so they can have each other's attention.

PriceGhost as Pride. You see, what I started this conversation, my idea was that I feel Price and Ghost, together, would be more prideful than the other ships. I don't mean this as to say they themselves are prideful, though my wife's explanation of Ghost being a victim of self-glorifying and self-justification (I'm not sure I agree on self-devoting, though that may be because I don't believe Ghost actually talks about his issues that much, even if I use it for plot purposes).

To look deeper at it though, the two of them are some of the highest ranking (though not THE highest ranking) out of the ships. I think Ghost would have a hard time separating Price the Captain from Price the Boyfriend. He wouldn't want to look weak in front of the Captain of his force. For Price, I have similar arguments. It's why I never quite liked PriceGaz, cause I just don't see Price as being able to truly be himself around his inferiors. The two of them wouldn't be able to truly be themselves around each other until they got over their pride. For them, this is more in the fact that Pride is the folly of their relationship. Idk, I just have a lot of thoughts.

You covered AleGhost in more depth than I can but I would argue going after Valeria the way he did was done more in Wrath than Pride, though I understand that with the sins, they intrinsically affect each other and honestly these two (characters and the win itself) parallel each other so much most sins could be put here. But both of them are such angry people at times. I feel like this is one of the few relationships in the list where issues are brought up, rather than allowed to fester.

Ghost ships but they’re themed as the seven deadly sins (PriceGhost is pride)

[gxlden-angels]

I think it's so funny when Christian flat out reject the concept of being intersex like oh so me and about 2% of the population aren't real but you expect me to believe homeboy's gonna come back after (holy) ghosting us for over 2000 years?

[girlscience]

I hate getting into something that has a canon(ish) sapphic couple, but I only end up caring about one of the two women 😭😭😭

[wasabikitcat]

Has anyone in this Olympics women's boxing argument ever stopped and thought about whether it would make any sense for women to be more susceptible to being injured in boxing than men? Like sure, it's a fairly common assumption that men are physically stronger than women, and therefore a man would have an advantage at boxing because he can punch harder... But how would that make you more resilient to being punched in the nose? Like I would think the assumed advantage would be that women can't hit as hard and therefore would require more effort to take someone down, but what everyone is arguing over is a woman having her nose broken from a punch to the face, when a man's nose would be just as broken from the same punch. Women don't have like, daintier and weaker facial bones or something. Being punched in the face "by a man" when you're a woman is literally no different than being punched in the face by the same person as a man. If we are to assume that men (note: the person being debated about here isn't a man or even a trans woman, she is cisgender, but I digress) are so Herculean that their punches are just too dangerous for women, then men's boxing should be banned outright because it's just too dangerous for men to be punching each other with that strength when a punch to the face is exactly the same for a man as it is to a woman.

[kyouka-supremacy]

%

[harmonybarmy]

not to go on a tangent but I finished all of the acotar books and I don't know what to do with myself!

[meezer]

my therapist seems kind of appalled and malding a little bit that I am not in a relationship and refuse to actively seek one out. it's okay though it's fine like genuinely water off a duck's back what she thinks of my celibacy. it's just annoying.

[winepresswrath]

drusilla's canon grandma kink is a thing that can be so charming & unhinged.

[artemismatchalatte]

Still thinking about how even on a lesbian tv show, none of the women seemed to have any body hair at all... seriously?!?

It seemed so unrealistic to me. Unless I'm the weirdo here.

[neverendingford]

.

[snazum]

i hate how my brain works LOLLOLOOL not like actually well sort of but also not like seriously where i'm upset just it's really funny i feel like crying it's so funny ToT But like, i'm living vicariously thru yters rn i want to create I'm too much energy. I CAN'T WAIT LIKE LITERATLY 5 DAYS FOR SCHOOL. And then it's school that's boring I fucking wish I knew people who liked to create and enjoyed the process and it's fun! It's so so fun!! And I mean I want video creation around me I'm done with drawing. Hopefully I meet people like that on campus.... god please let me meet people like that they're my soulmate.