#But literally everyone

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

Severance deserves to pick up the mantle from Succession as the new Show Where Literally Every Actor Gets Nominated For An Emmy. Everyone is firing on all cylinders. Give Rebeck an Emmy.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

I ever tell y'all about getting shamed at the ER several times for not getting a guy's insurance information after he hit me with his car?

Story time!

The inciting incident: Sean and I were walking to a bar to meet friends for karaoke. We were crossing a one-way street. We had the walk sign. But, as it was a one-way street, it meant that drivers could turn left on red if there was no traffic or pedestrians.

There was a car at the red light. It was a Buick. On the far side of the street to the driver's left was a light pole.

And now, geometry once again shows up to kick my ass like it hadn't done since high school: Due to the various angles of driver, light pole, and my ass in crosswalk, when the driver looked left, it appeared the crosswalk was empty.

It was not empty.

The driver turned left.

Sean (to my right and slightly ahead of me) and I turned in surprise when the car turned. We were still in the crosswalk!

The driver saw us and slammed on his brakes because OH SHIT PEOPLE IN THE CROSSWALK!

The car stopped dead. The entire car frame jerked backwards and then jerked forwards and slammed into my leg, about two inches below my kneecap.

Physics had caught up with geometry to come kick my ass.

The next ten minutes are blurry. I do know that the driver threw on his hazards, got out of his car and tried repeatedly to give me his insurance information, take me to the hospital, or call me an ambulance.

I do know that I screamed and swore a blue streak at him until he fucked off because when on the receiving end of sudden, intense pain and the person who (very unintentionally) caused it, I go into "fight until I win" mode.

While not an exact quote, I know I screamed something like, "No, I don't want your fucking insurance information! I want you to get the fuck out of my face!" at least twice.

Sean, by the way, was struck fucking silent by the entire event. Which is as valid as my screaming. It's all instinct, you see.

So, finally, this guy who tried his very fucking best (very fucking best) to do the right thing, got talked back into his car by his passenger (whom I hope said something like, "Dude, there was literally nothing you could do," as they drove away), and they left.

Sean's brain came out of shocked mode. "Do you need to to go to the hospital?"

I was still in fight mode. So I said, "No, we're going to the fucking bar."

And so we did.

And when I got out of the bath a few hours later, my leg wouldn't straighten completely, so off to the ER we went.

"Okay, so what happened?" asked the desk clerk.

Sean explained on my behalf as my leg was now throbbing.

"And did you get the insurance information of the person who hit you?"

"No," Sean said.

"Was it a hit and run?"

"No."

"But you didn't get insurance information?"

"No," Sean said.

The desk clerk looked at us both with disappointment. "You should have gotten the insurance information."

This conversation was then repeated by a doctor, a nurse, a medical assistant, a different nurse, the doctor a second time, and then the nurse again.

I explained several times I'd yelled the poor man back into his car, and he'd done his best.

"Well, if you'd have gotten his information, you wouldn't be paying tonight," I heard repeatedly. After the third or fourth time, even the vicodin that was kicking in couldn't keep me calm.

"Tell you what," I snapped, all the post-hit rage coming back, "You go out and get hit by the car and see what you do."

I got a Look. And wouldn't you know it, my discharge papers showed up real fucking quick.

[bizarrebazaar13]

what if your doppelgänger wasn’t evil it was just a person. what if your doppelgänger wasn’t trying to replace you it was just trying to learn to be a person and you were the best model it had. what if your doppelgänger looked at you with your eyes and said with your voice that it just wanted to be loved. what then.

[duckysprouts]

ares slays his daughter’s rapist

[daincrediblegg]

OK THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL EVERYONE FUCKING REPEAT AFTER ME. THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL DO WHEN YOU WATCH MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL THIS YEAR:

You will navigate to the page on disney plus (and it has to be here. Unless someone has actually uploaded the REAL movie anywhere else you cannot get it elsewhere)

BUT YOU WILL NOT HIT PLAY. You won’t do it. Because it’s NOT THE REAL VERSION OF THE FILM AND DISNEY IS FUCKING LYING TO YOU AS IT ALWAYS DOES

You will scroll down HERE. To EXTRAS instead. You MUST GO HERE. This is non -negotiable

THEN YOU WILL SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE EXTRAS AND YOU WILL THEN HIT PLAY ON THIS BAD BOY: THE FULL LENGTH VERSION

And you will watch it. And you will thank me for having been so blind and led astray by that stupid fucking mouse. You’re welcome.

[tyrannosarahsrex8]

Welcome to the “whoops! I accidentally started got manipulated into starting the apocalypse!” Club. Members being Jonathan Sims and Mable Pines. They’re both ✨traumatised✨

Bonus comic

[magnetostits]

the barbenheimer experience i had was so funny i saw oppenheimer first and in a quiet scene we could literally hear ken singing in the theater next to us and then during barbie it when was quiet we could hear a fucking explosion coming from the oppenheimer screening

[borrelia]

if you donate one single us dollar to the unrwa, you will have donated more money than you would have by clicking that stupid arab.orb link every day for four and a half years. yes, they do actually donate money to the unrwa, but even with tens of thousands of clicks, most of that money is the baseline $90 they send every quarter. from 2023 quarter 4, half a million clicks turned into $380.57. maths out to six hundreths of one cent per click. just donate to unrwa.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Glamrock Freddy's life is so hard in FNAF...

(Based off @/sweepswoop’s comic)

[for-those-who-wait]

Spoiler alert she's a princess she just doesn't know it yet

[hoshizoralone]

reflection

[rhinestonesox]

When Senshi was young in the dungeon the majority of the adults he were with ostracized him. All except Gillin, who died to make sure Senshi had something to eat: unseasoned boiled meat that may or may not have been one of their comrades.

It really puts into perspective why he was so nurturing towards Chilchuck. When Chil reveals he’s 28 to the party, Senshi responds by telling him that he thought he was older. Senshi was in his 30s when he and his comrades got trapped in the dungeon, so it’s safe to assume that he thought Chil was at a similar age.

He met a young boy who was, from his perspective, forced to do dangerous work in the dungeon just like he was, and so, Senshi made an effort to look after Chilchuck in the same way Gillin looked after him.

Mind you, when Senshi was young in the dungeon he had to starve for weeks, eat the horse he loved, and finish it off spending the next i don’t know how many years wondering if he committed cannibalism.

Senshi understands first hand the value of nutrition and proper eating, so when he’s with the party he makes an effort to make sure they’re all eating a full and balanced diet. Not only that, but Senshi INVOLVES them in the process of getting food to eat, always preparing it in front of them and narrating every ingredient in the process so that there’s no doubt about what they’re eating.

[notherpuppet]

@/coma_0423’s cursed cat alastor will bring you happiness ♥️

Lulu scolds the cat

[mania-sama]

was scrolling on tiktok and i was BLASTED with this official VLD art:

WHIPLASH. FUCKING WHIPLASH. and now i want ALL of you to be reminded of the WAVES this art caused. civilizations COLLAPSED

they don’t make fandom like voltron anymore. they just don’t. bakudeku ending still doesn’t hold a candle to klance.

[anna-scribbles]

adrinette exes and marichat and marichat exes part five!!!!

parts one / two / three / four