#But im legit like. i kind of want to do that
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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i keep rereading it like holy crap
pers on who sent me that long ask about my comics that is literally the nicest thing anyones ever said to me i love u
#I know its like a joke where ppl are like “im printing this ask out and framing it”#But im legit like. i kind of want to do that#Is that egomaniac of me… IDC WHATEVER#i wont post it or anything since u asked me not to but WOW. WOW!#like im not even kiddinf that’s seriously the nicest shit anyone has ever said to me about my work ever#In my entire 19 years of being an artist#Not even in a sad like oh no one compliments my work way THEY DO#PPL HAVE SAID REALLY NICE SHIT TO ME BEFORE#BUT DAMn#Like#Damn#got me emo bruh#Also i love reading messy walls of text on my art ok pls never apologize#Big messy walls of text are literally my fav thinf ro read
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Me posting: ✨ new arts ✨
Also me posting: oh my god, I'm so sorry I'm on your timeline again, I'm back on my bullshit again 😩
#legit i do worry i saw some of my stuff at the top of a tag and wonder if people are like “ah this one again”#izu rambles#delete later#i do want to add tho i really really appreciate all the lovely support ive had#i am just an anxious idiot and stuggle with this kind of BS#since i have a habit of rambling a lot and im kind of used to that not being received very well
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I think the moment Light's crush on L first smacked him in the manga (like when it finally rooted and started blooming in his guts) was when L was like "you're my first ever friend" whilst smirking into his teacup. And not because Light fully believed he was being sincere about being friends, but because he KNEW L was slyly teasing him and speaking to him on more than one level at once. Nothing more unexpected funny flattering and intriguing than that for him right then
#im thinking about this specifically because of that post about the girl getting a huge crush on her enemy that saved all her threats#bc that's basically that moment for light i think#light tries to squash all positive emotions towards others at all times when he's kira if they interfere with his plans after all#but if L does something like this to him then it forces him to think about his feelings in a strategic preparation sort of way#nay dare i say it basically is giving light permission to do so#he can now hold off on completely stamping out those feelings as soon as they arise#almost (he thinks) as a way to study his enemy and see how full of shit he may or may not actually be about such things#this moment probably starts a shift in light where he can allow himself to acknowledge that he maybe has a bit more than just#enemy feels for L you know#bc maybe L also is having other kinds of feels about him??#whether or not it's true it would impress him as a bold move#and kickstart him having to analyze what he actually does sincerely feel for L#and maybe start reframing and recontextualizing a lot of their tense ambiguous interactions up til that point secretly as well#heck we basically see him doing that when hes like lounging at his desk going HAH if it's friendship he wants then by god it's friendship#he will get#and this game of chicken with L about saying theyre friends keeps him from being able to completely avoid confronting#any complicated feels#like he otherwise probably would#because he legit cant back down from preparing for another battle of the wits with L#both because of his competitive pride and his genuine need to protect himself#would he call it a crush to himself yet#no probably not#i feel like that came later much later#he def would have acknowledged it as such by the end of the story tho#essentially L found a way to create a little wedge to ram in the door to Light's feels#and that is a smart enough move to probably have made Light start developing a crush on him even if he didn't have one already#l lawliet#light yagami#lawlight#p
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look at these images that are seemingly unrelated to each other. what do you see?
#(hello alt text my new frienddddddd)#and if i tried to grasp at straws in this kinda way for any other ship i’d be rightfully shipped off to the closest therapist’s office#(didnt include the novels bc the way they’re written there *could* be seen as legit reasons to ship them so i’ll at least give ‘em that)#(like. ik it’s a bit of a stretch… especially since yujiro literally slapped some sense back into her in the nonfan mv chapter)#(but what i’ve seen of the heroiku novel (rip asuka) may seem to be written with that certain ship in mind. so. i’ll give them that)#these are just the most bizzare of the ‘yhy proof’ that i’ve seen lately. so. y’know. they’re just the ones that stick out to me#and that’s all i’ll say on the matter. i was gonna just leave it at my previous post but#it’s just. seeing someone say that the mv was *not* nghy (and yhy instead) was kind of too much. y’know.#yeah. i want everyone on hwtwt to touch grass. except ft4twt bc they’re cool.#like… man. i can’t believe there are people who claim to be hiyori fans only to say ‘i dont care if hiyori is happy. i want *yhy canon*’#why can’t you just be happy for her and her childhood friend romance? why do you want an idol to date his manager so badly?#ngl im wondering if it’s like a sunk-cost fallacy for some of them… considering how many times i’ve seen ‘koiiro’ and ‘8 years’ being said#but oh welllllllll. either way nghy canon. end of story.
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i love madoka magica however i dont think we as a fandom talk enough about how tragic madoka herself is. probably because the narrative itself steers you away from thinking about her personally. shes not a character shes a desire that homura has, shes a force of good, shes homura's foil. but those are all madoka's narrative roles but madoka herself as a person is not really looked at because we are viewing this world from an unreliable narrator(homura) who only sees madoka as those things. The best thing homura could have done for madoka was give up on her, to let her go. because every time we go back in time the image of madoka is distorted, she loses more of herself every regression of homura's as she tries harder and harder to save her. We don't even know what madoka originally wished for to become a magical girl in the original timeline. and she actually acts quite differently than the madoka we meet. shes a lot more honest and caring and bold. by the time homura's has reached the actual anime madoka has been reduced by the sands of time to a figment of herself. she has no wants or desires of her own beyond wanting to do good and help her friends and when all her humanity is stripped away is when she finally acends to godhood because thats all thats left of her. an ideal and a faith in her. madoka kaname died a long time ago and all that is left is her ghost.
#of course homura doesnt care anymore because she cant go back she can only go forward cuz if she gives up she killed madoka for nothing#she could have left her pass away with dignity but now shes a ghost stuck in a web of time and the only thing she can do is keep trying#to save her#i feel like inately homura knows this but she doesnt want to admit to herself thats shes the real one who killed madoka kaname#this is a very charitable reading of homura#homura died too but its a clear moment because homura is our narrator#homura akemi will never come back madoka kaname will never come back#but life goes on anyway for homura#heres my truth#i loved rebellion but im actually a bigger fan of the original anime's ending so im glad it seems like red ribbon homu is coming back#i thought that ending was a lot more hopeful and beautiful and rebellion was kind of a downer but i always accepted they were parallel#and seems im right based on posters#for walpurgis#madoka uses one of my favorite literary devices which is the underuse of a character#i dont know whats it called but i love it when they dont outright develop a character usually to signal an upholding of the status quo#i already explained how madoka is not shown as a character but they do this in princess tutu too with mytho#mytho is a character from a book hes not real in the way that the others are and therefore cant actually change like the others can#hes always the focus of others and never the one thinking of others#i mean yeah he spends like the whole anime thinking about tutu but thats PART of his book its not him as a person#anyway ive been talking too much but i wanna bring up my favorite subtle use of this in takopi's original sin#the boy#idk his name rn lmao#hes straight up not present for the bulk of the manga and hes legit just absent from the ending scene despite being one point of a triangle#at first that weirded me out like??? he doesnt get closure???#but the reason was he didnt need it#the focus and moral is that those girls were 'weird' unable to be normal (because of trauma) and their closure was theyre at least together#but he doesnt need that because hes already normal hes the status quo a benchmark for the reader for the reader to judge the characters off#and the characters to judge eachother off of#anyway anyway sorry this has been so long#i had to get all of that out of me
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Do yall like, know how to enjoy something w/o constantly criticizing it? don't you want to enjoy something-- anything for what it is? if it gives you joy and makes you happy, you dont have to be critical and pick a part about it to be a 'real' fan of the thing, or to show you're aware of the whatever problems it has.
just liking and enjoying it is enough.
#this has been on my mind for awhile cuz man#a lot of yall online really like to shit on others for simply enjoying any form of fiction especially if theyre not up for debating you lma#i dunno im coming from a place where im seeing so much awful legit bad things in the world that not only affect me#but people i love and strangers who are like me#i think it's good i escape in any form of fiction if it helps me digest my situation better#or even distract me from the awful stuff in the world right now#i just want to live without being overly critical and i guess so self-hating on myself for enjoying things#all for clout points or even pats on the heads by strangers who wouldnt give me the light of day if i said the wrong thing out of ignorance#or simple misunderstanding#dunno im just im not in a good spot mentally and im kind of tired of people trying to tell me how something is bad when i say i like it#even if you say you like it it's still annoying when youre nitpicking the thing#and no this isnt me doing hot takes this is me being genuine and actually concerned on the online culture of being critical#about everything
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biggest pet peeve is when people refuse to acknowledge/don’t understand that the greek epics were written in a completely different era of cultural and societal norms 😭😭😭
#like okay!!!! we get it. we understand NOW that all the stuff that was acceptable back then is and was horrible#some ppl can never get past that and then go waterdown the myth and spread misinformation#ancient greece was horrible to women. it reflected in their myths#they kept bride prizes. didn’t have a real difference between ‘kidnapping’ and marriage#yes sparta had women who were allowed more freedom than other places#BUT THEY WERE AN INSANE MILITARY SOCIETY????#men stayed in barracks to train like their whole life. so women kind of were left to do the rest???#but they also had the biggest slave population so they practically did no labour#they were more afraid of an uprising than any other invading enemy 😭#i get having ur own interpretation esp based on more modern adaptations#but wanting to erase all this to justify liking the epics is so stupid#it all boils back down to the anti vs pr0ship internet debate#god im so tired LMFAO#ik i say pr0shits dni but if u legit ask me if im anti or pr0ship#i would just say man im an adult living in the real world#i have a brain#and can think for myself#i just would rather attract antis to my blog than pr0shits bc i find them very annoying#we get it you’re ‘problematic’ oml#this became way off topic but oh well
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love watching weather science videos but like. why am i 1000x more interested in tornadoes over hurricanes. they're both spinning air
#we wanted to be a stormchaser when we were younger#nowadays we have to worry about our health too much to have such a risky high-stress high reaction time job#been watching nothing but tornado history videos for days it's one of our intermittent special interests#stemming from the weather science workbook we OBSESSED over as a kid#would read that thing cover to cover multiple times a week. i was the kind of autistic who would read the Encyclopedia for fun#i actually had a fave encyclopedia entry as a kid and now i cannot fucking remember it 😭#i also learned what sex was through the encyclopedia 😭😭😭😭 was legit my first exposure to the concept#but like even though we watch A TON of weather videos including tons of stuff about thunderstorms and blizzards#(thunderstorms my fucking beloved. favourite weather pattern ever. cumulonimbus my bestest friend <3)#most of the videos we watch are mostly tornado videos. and hurricane videos feel boring to us#even though hurricanes are wayyy more powerful#tornadoes are still fucking powerful it's just more. concentrated#tornadoes to me feel Targeted like. that's weather that says Fuck YOU in particular actually#especially multivortex tornadoes where you can literally have two houses both in the middle of the storm at once#and still only one of them gets destroyed#or like pictures you can see of demolished houses with their mailbox in the yard simply untouched#i like to watch tornado videos bc they help me. prepare. just in case#our state gets hit with tornadoes pretty frequently though not as much as tornado alley#and i like to know all the information for sheltering and what to do in the event of a collapsed building and such#i have a little survival kit in the bathroom just in case with like basic first aid and a radio and bottled water#bc thats probably the safest room for me to be in since it's not near any external walls and also hiding in the tub is usually good#also in the event you're caught on the road during a tornado#DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE shelter under a bridge or overpass#those work basically like straws where as the air gets pushed through it goes MUCH faster and gets dangerous way easier#as far as im aware the best place to be is in a ditch or hole if you absolutely cannot find a shelter in time#if you do not have a car with roll protection then being in your car will probably be worse#NOT AN EXPERT THO pls verify this information on your own if you think it is relevant or necessary i have poor memory and can be stupid#i just know that overpasses are dangerous as hell
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Siri how do i stop the cycle without doing these bitchass tiny steps
#lamenting because i was so close to being normal and then i fucking lost it and gained nearly 100 lbs#and i cant get back to where i was i just ...... aaaaaaaaaaaaa#im so much more mentally fucked now so its harder#but thats all excuses right?#and then theres me being like am i even saying that bc i know its what people want to hear#or do i actually believe it? and is there even a difference if i know its true but i dont believe it?#does it even fucking matter just stop shoveling garbage in your mouth ffs#is the real answer here but I AM STRUGGLING#im looking into wls but i know if i dont get my emotional and bored eating under control that shit WILL NOT BE GOOD FOR ME#hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng#im just mad bc i have to fucking grocery shop#which always leads me to being pissed about this fuckass cycle#bitch call me mauville town the way i have cycles#god i can recognize the cycle which all tthe therapists will be like good on you!! :D and im like great. how do i break it#and then theyll say ten thousand small steps BITCH IM DYING I NEED DRASTIC CHANGE#BUT THEN IT WONT STICK AND ILL REVERT BACK TO WHERE I AM#but i did it drastically the first time and it wouldve stuck if i hadnt fucking lost it and ended up in the ward#im not a small steps kind of guy i need to wake up and fix shit and stick to it#but listen to me i am dean maniacally speaking to sam.gif#i buy all these stupid ass healthy foods and i have all these good ideas and reciepes and im legit pumped#and then i fuck it up and order food thats awful for me and then i give the hell up#which is an easy problem to fix. i know.#i can simply just....... not do that#but i swear i am struggling which pisses me off so bad#like you wouldnt struggle if youd quit being a stupidass and just did the damn thing#god i am not gonna do well on my psych evaulation#im gonna end up turning it into therapy and im gonna rage and the lady is gonna be like :D................. you need ten more visits#and youre getting denied at the end of them so get fucked#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#charlie am i losing my GODDAMN MIND? IF ITS GONE WHERE WILL I FIND.. IT?
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i think pkmn sun is cheaper than moon in both ultra and regular so i'll probably get sun,, and then ummm just look at how much money i have from catsitting and how much money shipping will be and figure out if i can afford ultra or not,,, and then maybe learn emulators to play the regular version after i play ultra if i feel like i want more still fsdjfkl
#i am just so scared of getting scammed on ebay fsdjkl i am looking at reviews and trying to figure out who is legit and who is scammy#idk how often ppl get scammed w NDS games on here rly but like. good to be safe i suppose!#i could ask my brother who's an online seller enthusiast but im kind of embarrassed abt this and he's hard to talk to fdsjkl#and if im lucky irt shipping time... maybe i can receive the game before my parents even get back dsfjkl#and then i won't have to deal w getting hassled about receiving pakij..... hmmm i gotta move fast if i want to do that though#dandy.cmd
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tell me your failed/embarrassing flirting stories to make me feel better, i’ll go first: today i said “get out of my way” forgot to say “i’m kidding” then immediately said “bye”
#it is awful having feelings for someone you know and have an established friendship with#but crushing on someone i barely know is knew to me and i legit feel like an idiot every time i do something stupid like this#i can’t just. talk to the guy#if i say hey and he says sup i say ‘sup indeed’ like what the fuck is that#i can barely even say hello to him#don’t get me wrong i’ve DONE it but most days i’m like#ah fuck there he is#okay you can do it just say hi#just say what’s up#and then he’s already gone#also. like. the setting we’re in is soooo not good for talking or flirting realt because um. it’s work he’s my coworker.. so um. do i fuckin#ask him for his number?? or to hang out??? but like. he’s kind of a stranger to me what do i want to hang out for 🧍#but like. i dont want to do that until i have at least one successful interaction#or like. an actual conversation.#which is gonna be really hard to manage because he doesn’t talk much at all to anyone and i really only talk if someone talks to me first or#i’ll say something absolutely idiotic and ridiculous (and honestly i do that no matter what)#anyway so um. i guess i’m just gonna keep making a fool of myself until i get it right and hopefully i don’t screw it up 🥴#i lost all my confidence in the last year and i cant do anything chill or smooth anymore (i was never that good in the first place but at#least i could PRETEND i knew what i was doing. like i could sell it. the whole weird and lost bit.)#anyway. i felt better for like 5 minutes when some guy at the gas station flirt failed with me on the way home. but that’s partly my fault#too oops. in his defense he probably could not see that i had headphones on bc upon mirror inspection they were well blended with my hair#but i was waiting to cross the street and this guy tried to like nod and smile and i did not know it was to me until i got to the other side#where the gas station was and and like. tried again and i awkward half smiled and saw his face get all mushy and confused like mine FELT 20#mins before when i’d flopped so hard trying to flirt and by the time i’d processed WAIT i think he was FLIRTING WITH ME i was already gone 🤡#but at least it ended better than the poor 14yo who very confidently asked for my number#who. i shit you not. SCREECHED for a solid 44.5 seconds and bolted the other direction when i said sorry im 21#his friends were standing there like wtf too and one was like i am so sorry about him 🤦#cheers to being fools universe
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Hi okay it's me again. I started watching the bear and it's really good (although it's makin me stressed how stressed they are) The other two i will come to next, intriguing. I could have specified I'm only into fiction shows and not really stuff like Taskmaster but it sounds like you enjoy it which is cool. I remain open to any other suggestions!
Hello! I'm glad you're watching The Bear, yeah I think the show was made to stress people out lol! I would say even if you think it wouldn't be your thing, even just give a short clip from Taskmaster a chance its worth it, but thats the lasts ill push that. Other fiction shows is still a super broad category but let me think.
It's really popular right now, so you've possibly already seen it, or at least heard about it, but I'm lowkey obsessed with it at the moment so I have to mention it and that's Bridgerton. If you're unfamiliar its a romance/drama show in a stylized regency era. I really love it, but I would say skip season 1 and go right to season 2, its the better season. Like I will warn some people act like its regency porn, which its not, but there are some sex scenes that are a little more graphic then a lot of shows show, so just so you know if thats not your thing, but they're easy to fast forward through.
Lowkey inspired by the last suggestion, is Derry Girls, their is an actress in both this and Bridgerton that I'm a big fan of, so I've been rewatching this of recent. Its a comedy about a group of high school girls in Derry, Ireland in the 90s, and their teen mischief while in the background is the troubles going on in the country. And its a really funny show, great characters, and if your like me you will be trying to copy their accents cuz they're amazing.
School Spirits, it's a teen drama/mystery about a girl who becomes a ghost, and she's trying to discover how this happened to her, with the help of other ghosts shes meets and a living friend of hers who can somehow see her. I got really hooked on this show when I first saw it, and I need it's second season asap. I will say there is potentially triggering content so I'd recommend looking into that first if thats a concern.
Extraordinary, omg I don't know why I didn't think of this one sooner or for the first list, but it's another show I was hooked on when I first saw it. It's a comedy, where everyone has a super power except for our protagonist, and we see how she deals with that/her trying to discover her power somehow. It's a lot of fun to watch, some characters have absolutely ridiculous powers, where you think they'd probably be better off without a power.
I hope you maybe like some of these please do come back and tell me any thoughts you have on them if you check any out!
#my post#anon#show recommendations#the first 3 i watched on netflix the last one on hulu if you need help finding them#i hope these arent all things you already know#i mean bridgerton is pretty popular but i still felt like i had to suggest it just incase plus im kind of obsessed so just gives me a reaso#to mention it#like season 1 is fine if you do go in order i did cuz i watched since the show started#but season 2 man its just so good#a perfect main couple and my most favorite side couple that i need to be legit its a whole thing message me if you wanna know more#also like i hope its not annoying for me to mention that the shows could potentially be triggering#i guess in a sense any show could#but like i just dont want to send someone into a show totally blind#especially when ive heard people say/or i found moments triggering#and also i just think maybe its better to say go check#then for me to explain just incase i miss something important or not mention what is a trigger for you if you even have any#also i cannot believe i forgot all about extraordinary#i was obsessed when i first saw it another show i need the next season asap#also there is a surprise gay character this is tumblr so i figure its worth mentioning
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My niece has gotten really into warrior cats and is mid process of building a makeshift fursuit for herself for our upcoming anime cons this summer. I swore to her up and down I'd take her, but she'd have to handle her outfits herself and let me tell you she is DETERMINED to get this suit together by herself. It genuinely makes me so happy to see her finding herself and putting her effort into creating her art and self-expression .
#summer shut up#family#my niece is now 11 you guys. the last time i took her to a con she cried and never wanted go back bc the fursuiters scared her#now shes getting into that kind of thing and admittedly its kind of scary to watch and allow her to find out the stuff she likes but hey#as long as it makes her happy and shes monitored so no weirdos come after her im fine with it#ive never been a furry or really in the community but ive always had friends who have been and she thinks its the coolest#she wants a legit fursuit so bad though but of course i do not make that kind of money and she is only 11 so she wants to make do
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im fr so weak to fictional men w deceptively soft exteriors like that shit makes me go fucking crazy
#esp when they outwardly are peacekeepers or like to avoid surface level conflict#but theyre like some intense motherfuckers on the inside that they keep under wraps and barely--if at all--ever (accidentally) reveal it#I GO A LITTLE CRAZY#IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN WHY I LIKE IT SO MUCH BUT I WANT TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS. IVE LIKED THIS FOR FOREVER.#I WANT TO KNOW WHY. IM GONNA PSYCHOANALYZE MYSELF.#they dont even have to be yandere. Garry from Ib isnt a yandere but he has a “feminine” seeming side and can seem a scaredy cat#but at the same time he can get a little fucking intense. i think he beat up some mannequin for scaring the shit out of him and he#legit was going to fucking burn mary#THESE KINDS OF FICTIONAL MEN.................THEY PLAGUE ME.#redstrewn talks#i think a lot of it has to do with self control. seeing it break. why do i like that#the struggle w self control....why do i like that so much like it makes me go fucking crazy
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tfw lunar new year and ash wednesday back to back
#i might like legit do like Proper Lent this year though idk#yes im a christian no im not a christian yes im a christian God bless 🙏😇#idk ive been super on the fence lately#either i leave the church or i stay#like because baptism classes r starting soon#if i don't leave now im gonna be here for the rest of my life#but i kind of still want to be here for the rest of my life#idk aghhhh#cc diary
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