#But idk what ill do if they cant. I cant afford to go to the emergency room
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official rip to my drawing tablet, goodbye my old friend you never really worked in the first place but illl miss u anyway lol
#i mean its almost a decade old and the port has been loose/partially unresponsive for half of that so i knew this day would come#i didnt have the drive to draw anyway but now i REALLY cant tell myself im gonna post stuff jlksdjflka#maybe if i go back and clip old wips idk#sad day but what can you do! ill try to look on reddit for hacks but its probably past that#m#edit yeah the repairs arent worth the cost since they would be the same/more than the price of a new one which i already cannae afford oop
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My wisdom tooth got infected and kind of fell apart in my mouth and so I need to head to an emergency dental clinic like right now. I asked my boss if I could take off of work and he said YES so I am secretly thankful for the broken tooth. It is a bit telling when I would rather have dental surgery than have to do my job.
#personal#dental trauma#If im within the first two people in line at the clinic theyll evaluate me for free#But idk what ill do if they cant. I cant afford to go to the emergency room
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being evaluated for adhd by having one of those full psych evals that last like two hours. scared frightened etc.... last time i took it i lied extensively bc i was 13 and thought they might tell my mommy if i said i had suicidal thoughts. and i still have a habit of lying to therapists bc i'm embarrassed......... AGH idk. what if i take it and they tell me that the reason im Like This is bc im genuinely just weird and shitty and not bc im mentally ill at all. SCARED
#which is dumb bc i have been formally diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses i dont think they can just take it back right?????#this is so stupid and cliche but what if i have been faking it........ all along........ Argh.#when i was in res i was put on adderall (bc the house psych just kind of experimented w meds LMFAO) and i had to go off them after like#two weeks bc it was affecting my appetite in a way i couldnt afford at the time lmao. but i do genuinely feel like it helped during that#time.... which is why i want to go on it again!!!! but im scared theyll just be like nah and i wont be able to take any of my meds anymore#is that crazy. am i being crazy rn. idk i truly do think most of my experiences w school and like. life could be explained by adhd and#when i was a kid they thought i had it but the two meds they tried didnt work for me so they just. kind of gave up#and i was really extremely unable to do school and graduated hs w an insanely low gpa and then dropped out of community college. LMAO. not#that people w adhd cant be good in school i just couldnt make myself do homework and couldnt listen in class bc i was too busy focusing on#listening. if that makes sense#IDK. idk. i know it's become like. a trend to have adhd is the issue and everything is being attributed to having it so im worried that ive#like. accidentally fallen in w that? even though ive thought i had it for forever and everyone has been like girl do you have this. IDK!!!!#idk. idkkkk im just like. genuinely scared. it's not the end of the world if im not diagnosed obviously but that means that#im just like this for no reason at all. and there's no way of helping it bc it's just the way i am. and i actually am just shitty n lazy.#epic. which incidentally is the proper name for how fucking long these tags are my bad. if you read this far sorry for being insane 👍
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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
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also uh im kind of not thinking about it much because its insane. but if everything goes right (and i mean a considerable amount of things that probably wont go as planned) but if they DO... i will have a major surgery in like two weeks
#vertical sleeve gastrectomy to be exact insert nerd emoji here#i might document a lot of whats going on with it and even take some videos honestly#not to share here other than some oversharing text posts about probably constipation LMAO#but like no one shares whats it like to be mentally ill and go thru vsg and like the process and not many people as young as me get it#feels weird calling myself young on the chronically 13 year old website#but anyone that does post about it posts for like a year and then falls off the face of the earth#genuinely there are so many youtubers that start talking about this stuff#then you find their channel three years deserted and its like man.#i sure hope this means you found better ways to spend your time#and like okay time to get sappy and corny as hell in the notes so go ahead and skip this part idk who even reads my notes hello#but basically everyones that gets this shit is like you gotta find your why#and most of them have kids or like a husband or plans to travel the world or do better at their job#and none of those things really apply to me#i kind of have the perfect storm for being fat#i dont do anything work wise that encourages any kind of movement#im chronically afraid of planes and i cant afford that shit anyways rn#also not very good at romance LOL and never want kids and my entire family is also fat barring my brother#thats not to absolve myself of any of the blame for this shit either like i know i put myself in this situation#i just think like wow my life is pretty much perfect for staying fat but i DONT WANT THAT#I want the highlight of my week to be more than eating takeout man#i want to live life instead of meal to meal to something better#idk what yet maybe jewelery piece to jewelery piece#i could do some serious kandi making while im down for the count#but i dunno man my therapist tells me that in order to feel like a person and not get tired of life i have to do people things and#participate in life yknow?#and its hard to do things like go to the gym talk to people explore fashion styles when i have this overloomingness of being fat#so i guess that could be my why? like i want to experience more of life#i want to be able to walk in a mall and look at all the stores. i want to walk in a mall period. cause it fucking hurts the way i am now#thats all to say the actual “why” that i have is Goddamn it i want to be able to jump from a swing#and not break my fucking ankles
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Felt cute, might deteriorate later. [He/Him]
#feels like im in hell um#shibuya to belgium#anyway did my eyebrows perfectly but its night and ill prob sleep em off so ugh#im so tired bro i went thru my arm workout THREE times today bc of stress and anxiety#not to mention body dysphoria on top of the health concerns im trying to not think about anything rn so selfie time#OBLIGATORY: 'DISCLAIMER: i'M HI (HIGH)' TAG#but tbh not enough im still hurting with stress#could fuckin go for another round but i rly gotta try n sleep bc i get to cry abt all this in therapy tmr yaaaaay#fuckin hate that i cant treat endo lmao its like living in a cage w a tiger and not knowing when its gonna attack or give a love bite#anyway not to be a crybaby but yeah im not okay and dont know how im expected to go on lol#thought i looked good in my red light but ended up w a good orange light pic#wish i could show off my arms but its not impressive. mostly just feels nice to be like... solid lol#wish i could afford a gym#so my face will have to do for now hope i dont regret posting selfies at almost midnight lol#me#selfie#Cori.exe#Image.exe#ignore my chapped lips pls my dermatillomania has been rampant for the past like 2 days lmao i never stood a chance#hhhhh idk what to tag beyond this fence sitting whether to post or not so im just gon post and then go sleep hffff
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...
#ugh. i wasted a lot of time and money today#bc my leg was suddenly hurting a lot more today and it kinda freaked me out so i went to urgent care#and then they had me get an x ray. luckily my hip looks fine and like i thought i probably strained or tore like an adductor muscle#so all that for something i already knew. but she said i should just chill for like 3 weeks and let it heal#at least nothing worse was wrong but its really annoying. i want to run 😫#wtf am i gonna do to dispel energy??? ugh. and i was supposed to go to thr post office today to send stuff#ill have to go tomorrow. bleh. its so annoying#part of it is just that i hate having to interact with people. like talking to people. like im sure i come across as v young#bc im so anxious and hesitant and im like zero eye contact. so idk it just feels kinda embarrassing#i wanna b like. bro i promis im not stupid. i have 2 advanced degrees in biology and im going for a 3rd. u can talk to me like an adult#its probably just me projecting. my perception is distorted from being made fun of by my sister lol#whatever. at least its just 3 weeks. tho it does remind me i havent been to an actual doctor in like 5 years#...probably should do thst before i move. or idk maybe ill just wait a month and go before school starts#ugh. fuck the American Healthcare system. they looked at me for like 5min and to go to urgent care was $125 with my insurance#thats just to b seen. like i can afford that but what r u supposed to do if u cant?#unrelated#at least its not as bad as when i passed out in class and took a 10 min ambulance ride that somehow cost $700
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capitalism is gonna kill me
#ive been trying to get a job since april. ive probably sent out 50 or more applications to like. retail stores mostly but a couple other#places. nothing. one place scheduled an interview for me then canceled it the day before#i missed the window to apply for student loans for the spring and summer semesters so ive been living off savings. i have enough money to#MAYBE last until next month. idk what to do. ive looked for like rent assistance programs but the government website i found said that they#arent giving out subsidies if you have a private landlord? which by their criteria im pretty sure i do#so! yeah. this is fine. its totally cool#im about to be dramatic and mentally ill here next but like. genuinely if i cant afford to keep going to uni i think i might just off myself#i am completely miserable when im not in uni. i am miserable when working any job ive ever had. im in pain all the time. i dont qualify for#any assistance program ive been able to find. like. whats the point. i dont wanna be alive and miserable and homeless and also in debt#i dont have any help. idk what to do. like what do i even do in this situation. besides die or become homeless
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i think ive been in a constant state of melancholy
#or im losing my mind#idk i was 'normal' for like 3 weeks i was functioning making shit doing work girlbossing if you will#and i was driving yesterday and i keep breaking cuz i see people everywhere just crossing the street and shit without a care#and my mom lept getting mad at me cuz allegedly there was nobody there#so im like hm. even tho its fl ppl in my area have sense so i know what im seeing isnt real so its whtvr ill manage#and then im driving but i cant focus cuz my head is yelling st me to swerve and drive through buildings or swerve off the road cuz#“if u dont now then something much worse will hit you later and itll be fatal” so i went home. and now i just have a pit of dread or sadnes#or nostalgia or whtvr#the pit is unrelated to the thoughts and shit. i think its always been there and im jusg aware of it#like yknow how ur always breathing but it becomes manual when ur aware? ya. but it hurts#my throat feels like its closing up my chest and stomach is heavy im crying somethn js happening idk what#it could b nostalgia cuz im thinking ab my friends j dont talk to anymore. could be dread ab my future cuz j lowk donr have a plan#could b melancholy (a word ive been looking for for forever and just remembered) could be some type of panic/anxiety attack#idk. idk idk idk#l speaks#shut up l#ranting in the tags because i can#but its 2 am i gotta b up at 9 for mass so hopefully i can sleep off whatever this js#i am going to pretend its nothint serious because i like to drive i love driving and i am normal and i cant afford shit going wrong now.
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i'm going actually insane like this is not normal at all
#im more and more mentally ill and i can't do anything about it#i do the things i know i should do and i do the things i know help#but those are things that helped me when i was 17#and i was BAD but not like rn#i need to go to a psychiatrist and idk i'd try medication again#but i cant do that i cant afford it#i'm so tired of not trusting my perception of things i used to only be like that when somwthing was actually happening to me#when someone was doing something#but now it's everything#it's about what i see what i hear i start going on spirals about stupid shit#and once i think about something it's done i'll be thinking about it from then on and i'll have to do the things that allow me to believe#that i'm not psychotic and what i'm seeing isn't a delusion or hallucination#i can't even think more than two seconds about the possibility of being psychotic without going into a panic about everything i've done in#the last days#it's exhausting
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fuck it im joining the war against self diagnosis on the side of self diagnosis. i think i have either anxiety or adhd or both tbh.
#my post#i just feel bad about being confident in saying it or saying it at all#cause what if im wrong. i dont want to be wrong :[#i just wanna know what the fuck is wrong with me that my mind is like this dude#why everything is so hard even when it isnt for other people at all. idek its hard to explain#somethings going on in my brain all thw time and it makes me feel so alienated and idk dude#ive been interested in psychology for years and im not a psych student or claiming to know anything for sure#but ive read about so many mental illnesses and other things both from professional and personal perspectives#and those two kinda feel. the most accurate hardcore question mark??#maybe theres something else going on. i cant afford a therapist let alone a psychologist to actually diagnose me#but all i know is SOMETHING is going on up there. it cant be nothing because people who arent mentally ill dont do what ive done in my life
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Muse
rockstar!ellie x reader
warnings : SMUT!!, no to consentement (happened with a men ellie saved us), alcohol, ✂️✂️✂️, swearing, age gab? (ellie be like 2-3 years older), thigh riding (r ! receiving), fingering (r ! receiving)
idk if thats all but i worked hard on this one 😜
enjoy!!
—
“Cmonnnnn we’re gonna be late!!”
“not my fault you took 2 hours in the shower?”
you and your bestfriend were getting ready for that little concert that was in your city. it was so rare you had finally something fun to do, and the best part of it, is that your favourite band was gonna be there. you were so excited to go there, but your bestfriend was just making you nervous, in the worst way ever.
you had a denim mini skirt with a lace crop top in black with some leather jacket, classic ‘rockstar girlfriend’ outfit if you’d search it on pinterest. but, it was a rock show anyways, so you were fitting in that vibe.
you had a little smug eyeliner with some star glitter around your eyes. your best friend has some too. exited by the fact that you two were matching like some 13 years old teenagers.
“okay, im ready”
“about time!! now come on, i dont wanna arrive while its crowded, wanna have the best view” she tells you while bringing you outside towards her car
“girl did you know my fav band are gonna be here??”
“ugh omg you said it at least one thousand times…” she sighs
“okay okay, will you be less annoyed when i tell you they look like this :” you said as you showed her the guitarists and the singer. they were 3 and your age. absolutely gorgeous people.
“YOOOOOOOOO!!!” Layla said, looking at the picture of the three bend’s members.
“rightttt?!!!”
“okay but look at the men?”
“his name is Jesse, one of the guitarist. currently dating the other guitarist” you informed her, for only her smile dropping at the deception.
“look, thats the singer” you continue “her name’s Ellie, and shes SO fucking hot, and shes gay”
“lesbian?” she asks you while she starts driving towards the location for tonight.
“yeah, literally everyone who listen to their music is because all the fans envy her. i dont blame them tho”
“what about the other guitarist?” she asks you, now interested in them
“Its Dina, Ellie’s ex”
“WHAAAAAT ??? nowayyyy”
you two laugh at the drama you shared to layla. it was funny gossiping and her finally showing some interest in what you liked.
-
arrived there, it was already crowded. nobody was on stage yet, but it was definitely bigger than you expected.
you friend touched your shoulder, knowing how much noisy places made you so uncomfortable.
“what aboouuuuuut we get VIP tickets for a quieter place mhh?”
“Layla? its too expensive i cant afford that, ill just- support it” you tell her, looking at your phone trying to distract yourself
“too late babe i bought us some” she says, looking at you with the biggest smile. eyes disappearing and teeth showing. She was your sunshine.
“whaaat? you shouldn’t have- im gonna repay you when i can okay?”
“nuh huh, its our night and my gift, okay?”
you nod and smile, worries erased by her gentle smile.
it was true, it was you guy’s night, and no anxiety would take that away.
In the VIP room, there was mostly middled aged men with some really young, but beautiful girls in their company. all already wasted. from here, you could be so close to the stage you thought if the artists would be close enough, you could touch them. you also had access to the backstage, which was an insane opportunity.
some normal people, like your age hanging out with people their age were also in the VIP. it was less awkward with all of those creepy men probably were ‘sugar daddies’
“im gonna grab us a drink ill be back, yeah?” layla whisper-screams in your ears then vanishes to the bar.
you look around you, analyzing the people. then get on your phone, just to seem lees alone.
“Hey you gorgeous lady, would you mind some company?” a raspy voice said
you look towards the voice and see a men, probably 25 years old, but obviously drunk and maybe also high.
“i already have company, but thanks” you said, gently, not wanting anything to happen.
“oh, but i dont see anyone babygirl…” he said as he leaned closer to you while you backed off a little.
his eyes widen, completely surprised by your non interested move.
“im not gonna bite youuu, only if you ask me to” he says and winks at you while touching your arm, going closer and closer to your breast.
“um.. no thanks..” you said, trying to get away, searching around for layla’s figure somewhere around…
“why are you so fucking rude? huh? cant even be happy someone wants to be with you mh? ‘lil slut..” he said as his grip on your arm was tightening, probably gonna leave a mark after.
“please-“ you started but got cut by someone else, behind you two
“she said no man”
the men looks behind him, feeling his grip on your arm going insanely tight. you hiss by the pain.
“she’s with me” he answers to the girl you yet didn’t dare to look at, feeling embarrassed by this whole situation
“are you with this man, miss?” the girl asked you.
her tone completely shifting from raspy, loud and angry to sweet and gentle. making you look up from the ground to see the Ellie Williams defending you. you answer her a small ‘no’. scared if you talked louder the men would take away your arm at this point. or scared you’d cry from anger. the tight feeling you felt in your throat was cutting your voice to get through, if the knot would get destroyed, you’d probably sob right here, but it would only get tighter, feeling like it was taking the oxygen away from your lungs. feeling like it was choking you so it couldn’t pass anymore. would only make your heart beat slower due to the little air you were able to breathe. but you felt like it was beating faster, like you just ran kilometers and stopped suddenly. making your body react in a bad way in the sudden change.
but that was only a feeling.
you just looked, away.
you could hear Ellie yell at the men until his grip on you left to only see his arm swing towards ellie’s face. only that she dodged his punch smoothly. almost satisfying to watch her doing it like she was the finest fighter in the world.
but the slowmo and the muffled voices stopped and when Ellie punched him. Everything was too loud and too clear.
blood getting out of the man’s mouth. attacking Ellie back. everyone screaming and getting away from the fight, creating a non purpose circle.
suddenly it wasn’t a rock show, but a fight show.
Once Ellie completely knocked out the men, him completely passed out on the ground, blood all over his face. she went towards you
“You okay?” she asked, gently as she didnt even just fought with someone like she was gonna kill him.
you simply nodded to her, shocked by this whole situation, never wanting it to end up this way.
“come with me, yeah? ill get you some water and… clean you up” she said looking at your cheek, having some blood on it.
you just followed her into her lodge. it was quiet and cozy.
nobody was in there, but you were kinda nervous about the fact that you were literally with a celebrity.
“sit down” she obeyed.
you sat on the closest chair you saw, following her orders like a dog, still under shock.
ellie took a glass and poured water in it, placed it on the table next to you, then took a small towel and again, put water on it. she came real close to you, her head titled on the side a little bit, her fingers took your chin and made your head move a little bit on the side. she took the towel and took the blood away from your cheek. probably the men’s blood. ellie didn’t have one single scratch. only her knuckles were brushed.
you watched her taking care of you like a little kitten she had found on the road and just, felt bad for it.
her eyes were concentrated on what she was doing, her fingers touching you so gentle, so softly. her bottom lip between her teeth due to the concentration. she might looked so rough earlier, but here? she was the softest person you’ve ever laid eyes on.
“here..” she said as she stopped what she was doing. she sat next to you, with concerned eyes. she suddenly cared so much about you.
“thanks” you whispered, looking down to the glass of water in front of you.
“dont thank me, this guy was an asshole. are you hurt?” she asked looking at your arm, knowing he was holding it.
“if i were you id worry more about your hands” you said looking at them, all bloody and swallowed.
“its okay, dont worry about me…” She said getting up to grab some ice for your arm
“no, take it.” you said, putting it on her fingers trying to ease her pain from defending you.
the room went silent, a comfortable silence. the ones where you didnt rush do say anything or where you werent overthinking to find a subject to talk about.
Ellie on the other hand, was going insane. You were so pretty and you had a pin on your purse about their bands which meant that you were a fan. which meant you knew about her and listened to her music. the silence was driving her insane. she’d just wish she was a normal person who weren’t screaming for her name out there. screaming for her and the fact that they all wanted her. like she was theirs. but she didn’t want that. she wanted to be yours, and it wasn’t gonna be easy. she thought you were scared by her, she thought you saw her completely different now, that you’d stop listening about her being so so toxic with girls with the best beat dina and jesse could ever put to make everyone forget about how of an asshole she was.
about how the girl was hers but she wasnt the theirs. about how she just fucked the girl cause she was bored.
but now, you could saw her as a crazy girl that punches someone almost to death. someone dangerous.
you were just too pretty for this man, for this treatment. she would have done this for anyone, but taking care of them after? nahhh she wouldve just walked away.
“whats your name..?” Ellie asked, looking dead up in your eyes like she wasn’t going crazy on overthinking.
“my name’s ______” you tell her.
“im uh, im Ell-“
“Ellie Williams, yeah i know”
“of course you do..” she sighed at herself.
“fuck- i uh my friend… she’s gonna be dead worried!! fuck fuck” you say, completely on panic mode
“hey, hey, hey, its okay, just send her a message to let her know youre all good, im not letting you out there again, something worse could happen to you.” she says, in a stern tone.
“you worried about me Williams?” you ask her, calmed but surprised by her reaction, slightly titling your head a little bit. the small amount of alcohol in your system making you bolder than you ever could.
“believe it or not sweetheart, i care about my fans”
something in what you said activated Ellie’s dangerous side. she was gonna torture you and never let you go.
“dont you have a show you have to do? for the caring of your fans?”
“i believe they can wait a little bit, dont you think?” she smirked at you.
that goddamn smirk she’d have in those pinterest pictures of her if you searched up her name on the search bar. that smirk when she was on live and someone would tell how much they loved her. or when her fans would ask her to sign on their boobs.
that smirk.
“how disappointed i would be if i was one of those, knowing you were just sitting in here with someone you didnt even knew”
“mhhh i wouldnt care less doll”
you blushed at the nickname, you’d cringe if someone else would’ve called you like that, but the way she said made your panties grow a little wet spot faster than you thought your body could.
you shifted a little bit in your chair, uncomfortable by how sweaty you’ve just became.
“dont you think its hot.. in here?” you said, praying for her to not notice it was because of how much your heart was pumping, making you red everywhere.
“follow me” Ellie said, getting up and walking in another room. you were almost too shaking to even walk but you managed to make your way to ellie. she was in a small bedroom. how could you know lodges had bedrooms? no idea.
“we have those bedrooms if someone from the bend is tired or dont feel good, very useful. i think it was Beyoncé that asked that”
“you know beyoncé???” you asked completely amazed
“uhhh, no. im a small artist, not a pop star” she laughed and made herself comfortable on the bed.
you sat next to her, but shy enough to keep your distance away from her a little.
Ellie just grabbed a guitar that was hanging on the wall and started to play a little melody. her fingers stroking the strings so perfectly, making them some beautiful note and then you recognized the song. she was signing one of hers.
its like you were in a dream, the room was so dark but there was lights everywhere, hanging like a teenage room. making able to see everything with the most perfect lighting, you were able to see the intense shadows from ellie’s perfect muscles. aligned how it was made, like god modelled them himself with his own hands. the way she was just there looking at where her fingers were at to know what note to play next. her foot tapping around with the beat. her hair being lighten by the small yellow lights, making her auburn hair look way more softer than usual.
you couldn’t contain yourself at the sight.
“wanna try?” Ellie asked, handing you the guitar with smile on her lips… her perfect lips- ok stop this madness.
“i- i dont know how to play”
“ill teach you- here, put it on your legs…” she then got closer and took your hands to place them to make a chord. “and here is the chord C major” she smiled at you. “easy right?”
“sure, if i dont count the fact that my fingers are about to explose”
she looked at you and laughed, you did the same. you felt now so comfortable with her.
“alright..” she said,
“get in my lap imma teach you some other stuff.”
“huh?”
“the guitar, you trust me?”
she said, clarifying your dirty mind.
“uh yeah, i do” you said then sat in front of her, between her legs. she wrapped her arms around you and guided your fingers, showing you the chords. one by one.
her fingers felt sooo good on your skin, you were just wondering how good they felt inside of you.
you knew that what you were feeling was wrong, that you two just met but you couldn’t help to press your ass to her crutch. Ellie’s words stuttered, and so did yours. every words were slower and her mouvements were more sensual, if you werent delusional.
the tension just kept growing and only one more move and it could be done for the both of you.
she pressed her head in your shoulder. still teaching you. a hand on yours- guiding you and another on your hip… and she just made you get closer to her, as you could even get closer. you were trying to not moan at this point. what she was doing, ‘teaching’ you guitar and making your heart skip a beat, pretending like nothing else was happening, like it was just all in your imagination. but the feeling was so strong, so strong.
you felt her lips stroking against the skin of your neck while she was whispering you the instructions of the next chords.
crazy how an hour ago you were with your bestfriend, being exited about just seeing ellie live, and here you were, she was literally teaching you how to play guitar with hers. this felt all like it was some kind of prank, too good to be true, but you were just there to enjoy yourself at 100%.
Ellie’s hand on your hip was now playing around on your thigh, she’d tell you how good you were doing. she then moved her hand, painfully slow in your inner thigh. your breathing was speeding up like she was already in you…
she has just touch you so little.
you craved her so much.
you let her get higher, she stoked her fingers on your clothed cunt, could feel the wet spot on your panties that was growing since you got into her lodge.
“is this okay?” she asked you. scared she was taking everything too far, but you just pushed her hand closer to where you needed her the most.
Ellie took the guitar away from the both of you and turned you over so she could see your face.
your legs wrapped around her waist and now both of her hands were on your hips.
the atmosphere completely changed. it was romantic and comfortable 2 seconds ago, and now its so much more intense, the room feels hotter and your nervousness is on the top of your head controlling you to stay still.
“ellie…” you whined.
that made ellie so much more bold. her hands moved up from your hips to your cheeks, not forgetting to touch every part of your skin that was on the way. it wasn’t too slow and either too fast, just enough to realize she was getting closer and closer while her eyes switched on your eyes to your lips. you leaned in, like she was a magnet, pulling you towards her. her lips on yours felt the most right thing you’ve ever felt. they were so soft, so warm, so so tender against your lips. the kiss turned into a make out soon enough like it was a relief from all the tension that had built. her tongue dancing against yours, feeling this feeling of euphoria in your whole body, only catching yourself needed more and more.
unconsciously, your hips were rocking against any pressure you could find. ellie stopped her kisses to only replace them on your neck. you tilt your head to give her more access. you had no idea what you were doing, its like your body went into full control and your mind was just beyond the clouds, seeing the stars when her knee pressed against your clothed cunt. a moan and a a relief sigh escaped your lips.
all was happening so fast and ellie was taking your shirt off, as you were doing the same to her, like in those romantic movies when the two characters find eachothers and they get heated in the moment. like there wasn’t time, like you were late to somewhere.
ellie’s fingers found their way, once again on your clit.
“you mind if i take this off?” she asked, with a smirk, but you could see her cheeks blushing, her breath being fast… her hands shaking.
you nodded, way too speechless of the goddess in front of you
“words, i need words baby”
“take it off” you saw, looking at your legs that were still wrapped around ellie’s waist.
ellie layed you down on the bed, now on top of you, looking at you up and down, analyzing your body. she gently touched the hem of your skirt to take it off. you lifted your hips up to help her. her mouvement were painfully slow, as she was trying to make this sooo memorable.
your panties along with your hips were now on the floor of the room. laying with only your bra left.
ellie’s lips returned to yours, while you could feel her hands getting closer to where you needed her the most.
“ellie..?”
“yes, yes? what’s wrong?” she asked, genuine
“i uh.. can i ride on you?” you asked her, closing your eyes to try and hide yourself from the immense embarrassment you felt, but before you knew it, ellie stood up, you looked at her, clearly confused about what she was doing
to your surprise, she only stripped herself, finding her now completely naked. you could see her abs.. her biceps.. the ‘v’ kind of shape she had on her lower stomach.. her small, yet perfect boobs, only finding your mouth watering at the sight- and not only your mouth but your pussy was drenched too.
“are you gonna stop staring at me?” ellie asked as she climbed on top of you, kissing you- again
maybe she felt magnified to you too? just like you felt so attracted to her
you were winning in anticipation and excitement
naturally, her leg intertwined with one of yours so both of your clits were pressing against eachothers.
feeling her like that against you was heaven. grinding yourself against her was beyond beautiful. the scene was so pornographic that i’d create a new sin in the bible.
“els! im so.. close… fuck!!”
“me too, fuck.. together yeah?”
and just like that she gave a couple more trusts against you and you did the same, as your mouvements were synchronized, as if it was destiny to find her and make love with the love of your life.
you saw and felt fireworks, a big release escaped as you were almost screaming by pleasure. and ellie was just, amazed by your fucked expression she could cum again over and over by just being on top of you, looking at you this beautiful. she couldnt stop.
“els! please!” you said as you felt overstimulated by your previous orgasm.
“please give me another one, please.” ellie was begging at this point. as she needed it more than you, as she felt it in her.
she could go on and on, and you would let her abuse your cunt for the rest of your life if it felt like that.
#Spotify#ellie williams#the last of us#ellie fanfic#tlou fanfiction#wlw post#ellie smut#ellie x reader#ellie x you#wlw ns/fw#wlw smut
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HELLO i have a request so ill try my best to explain it okay uhm, so could you do threesome like ghost x reader x könig ? IDK ABOUT THE PLOT BUT LIKE first they dont give in because of the age gap cuz they think y/n is too young or whatever but them they get put in a same room for a night since they had to stop for some serious reasons LIKE IDK YOU TIDY UP ALL THIS MESS BUT PLEASE LIKE THE READER HAS CHOKING KINK AND DEGRADING KINK YOU MAKE THE REST THANK YOU SO MUCH IF YOU DO THIS BECAUSE LIKE I RLLY CANT FIND ANYTHING WHERE READER GETS SANDWITCHED BETWEEN TWO MASSIVE MEN 😭😭 i beg 🙏🙏🙏🙏
I will take every given chance to thirst over these massive men, won't lie I got carried away with this so... enjoy
warnings: mdni (18+), smut, unprotected pinv, threesome, age gap, degradation, some praise, choking, fingering, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, mention of alcohol, blowjob, blindfold, oral (fem rec), creampie
You'd been in the safehouse with Konig and Ghost for two days already, two days of waiting in silence for someone to come and rescue you. The two men gave little in means of conversation, sitting quietly in their posts, keeping watch, occasionally glancing over to you.
You grew tired of the quiet within the first night, attempting a few times to spark conversations, the men would give simple responses in the form of hums or nods, not affording you full sentences. They had been awkward around you for a few weeks, the treatment starting after a drunken night at Soaps house, a few rounds of 'never have I ever' and too many rounds of shots.
"Right but if ye were to have a threesome, who'd you pick?" Soaps question makes your eyes widen, your cheeks blushing as you realize you don't even need time to think of your response.
"Ghost and Konig" Your response caused a thick tension to fill the air, you purposefully avoid the gaze of the two men as Soap's eyes lit up.
"I dinnae if you could handle both of them, lass, I mean, they're... large" Soap chooses his words carefully, eyes glancing around the room as the two men remain like statues, your heartbeat racing in your ears.
"Next question" Ghost's voice breaks the tension, you turn your attention back to your drink, heat flushing your skin.
You didn't realize how much your drunken words would affect the men but now, two weeks later and stuck in a safe house with them it showed, barely a word muttered between them.
"What's wrong with you two?" You ask in a fit of either confidence or annoyance,
"What do you mean?" Ghost turns to you
"One day were all chatting and having fun, and the next you two avoid me like the plague"
The men share a look, you throw your arms up in question,
"We aren't avoiding you" Konig shrugs
"I don't know how long we're stuck here and if neither of you will talk I'm going to lose my mind"
"Stop being a brat" Ghosts words make you tense
"Then tell me why you won't talk to me"
"Because you're just a kid," Ghost says, his voice low
"I'm younger than you, that's why you won't talk to me" You scrunch your face
"It's more that you want to fuck us" Ghost states plainly, your body freezes, your eyes widening at his words, you turn to Konig who's just as frozen as you, Ghost rests his weight on one leg, his thumb through the loop of his belt as he stares at you.
"I don't" You stammer
"What about the game the other night?" Konig adds
"Just a game"
"You're a terrible liar kid," Ghost says
"Stop calling me that" Your hands begin to fidget, unsure of what to do under the pressure of their eyes
"What would you rather us call you?"
"My name" Your eyes are glued to the floor, unable to look at them, Ghost moves toward you, his boots heavy against the floor. His hand moves to rest on your chin, tilting your head to face him,
"You sure there's not anything else you wanna be called?"
"Ghost.." Konig warns, "We can't"
"M'not sure about that, it's just us here anyway"
Your skin burns under his stare, his hand moves from your jaw back to rest on his vest, his shoulders broad, his stance purposefully intimidating you.
"Kneel"
Your breath is rapid, you keep your eyes locked on his as you drop to your knees, your neck craned to look at him,
"Ghost" Konig glances between your bodies, his tone stern, a final warning to his teammate
"Do you want this?" He softens his gaze for a moment, giving you an out, you're tiny under his hulking frame, cheeks red as your heart races, you glance between the masked man, focusing your gaze back on his skull mask.
"Please" It comes out as a whimper
"Please what?"
You huff a breath, "Please fuck me"
"Tell him" Ghost turns towards Konig, you follow his gaze, pleading eyes landing on his hood,
"Please, I need you, need you both"
"Oh kleine maus" He releases a deep breath, moving toward you, he stands behind you, you're trapped between the men with no escape, head level with their groins as your mind flurries.
"You gonna be good for us?"
You nod your head
"You gonna take what we give you?" Ghosts hands rest on his belt
"Yes" You can feel your arousal pooling, you slick drenching your panties as you sit, Ghost palms himself over his pants the tent in his pants more visible by the second.
You wriggle your hips, trying to gain some friction on your sex but Konigs hands are quick to settle on your shoulders, keeping you still,
"Careful, you take what we give you, nothing more" His voice echoes through your ears from above, you look up at the men, trying to gage what they were thinking but their masks reveal nothing, you furrow your brows in a silent plea, the sound of Ghosts belt music to your ears.
"You stay focused on me, eyes ahead" Ghost orders, you nod, doe eyes staring at him as you feel Konig kneel behind you, his hands roaming your frame.
Ghost unzips his pants letting his cock spring free, you wet your lips at the sight, a sudden nervousness taking over your body as you realize how big he is. He takes his cock in his hand, pumping it a few times,
"Don't worry, you can take it"
He teases his leaking tip against your lips, smearing his slick against the skin as you part them, flattening your tongue, he runs his tip over the muscle, gathering your saliva on it before pushing in an inch. You hum around him, the taste of his pre cum salty on your tongue.
Konig's hands move to roam under your shirt, bunching the fabric above your breasts before urging your arms up so he can lift it, his hands moving to paw at your breasts. The contact forces a moan from your throat, the vibration making Ghost let out a small grunt as he pushes deeper into your mouth.
Ghosts hand cups your jaw, pulling your gaze up to him, you stare at him through your lashes, he squeezes your jaw lightly asking permission, you nod slightly and blink your eyes at him. You brace your hands against his thighs as his fingers pull your hair back, he thrusts into your mouth slowly, allowing you time to breathe before he pulls out all the way, forcing his cock into the back of your throat, forcing you to gag around him.
You breathe through your nose as his tip brushes against your throat over and over, the saliva from your mouth polling around the base of his cock, dripping down to his balls.
Konig's hands roam further down your frame, his fingers slipping past the band of your pants to cup your sex, the contact making you moan around Ghost's length.
"Scheiße so wet already, kleine schlampe" His fingers tease over your clothed pussy, you move your hips to grind down on his fingers and he pinches your clit, forcing a muffled yelp from you.
"Needy slut" He breathes in your ear, his words going straight to your core, tears prick your eyes as Ghosts thrusts deep into your mouth, pulling his cock out as your head falls forward, gasping for air,
"Please, touch me" You pant,
"S'that what you want you fucking slag, need Konig's fingers to stretch you out while I fuck your throat?"
"Yes, God please" You beg, your chest heavy
"Earn it" Ghosts hand moves his cock back to your lips, your reach to grip his length, your saliva working to help you glide your digits up and down his cock, taking him into your mouth as Konig's hand dips below your panties, you clench your eyes shut as he pushes his fingers into you, his thumb settling against your clit as the digits pump into your weeping cunt.
"Eyes up here" Ghost's hand grabs your cheek, forcing you to look at him, your work his length, flattening your tongue to allow him deeper into your throat, gagging around his cock as Konig's fingers curve to swipe against your sweet spot.
You moan around Ghost's cock, his grip on your hair growing tighter as your hand pumps him, you keep your eyes locked on his as Jonig's fingers stretch you out, his thumb circling your clit making you clench down on him, his chest is pressed to your back keeping you still, you're trapped between the men.
Konig's free hand moves to pinch your hardened nipple, the sensation bringing you closer to the edge, Ghost can feel your movements become sloppy, his hand moving to grab atop yours, guiding it over his cock,
"You wanted it, now take it," He says through gritted teeth, he buries his cock in your throat and you arch against Konig, the hand on Ghost's thigh digging into the muscle as you reach your peak, whining and moaning around Ghosts cock,
"That's it, filthy girl" Konig coos in your ear, his fingers fuck you through your high as Ghost holds your jaw steady, his balls tighten as his head falls forward, strings of curses and grunts coming from him as he spills into your mouth, his seed dripping down your throat.
Your tears stain your cheeks as you swallow around him, gasping for a breath as he pulls out, a string of saliva dripping from his tip as you fall forward. Konig pulls his hands from you, his hands settling on your hips, helping you up, he holds you against his form and you feel his hard-on press against your back, the sensation making a shiver run up your spine.
He guides you toward the bed that sits in the corner of the room, helping you to sit on the edge before moving his hands from you.
“Close your eyes kleine maus”
You do as he says, fluttering your kids shut till your sight is consumed by darkness, you follow the sound of the men, the noises of their buckles clattering and they drop their pants down. You hear footsteps near you, hands holding the sides of your face as a piece of fabric is placed over your eyes, and tied behind your head.
“For identity's sake,” You hear Ghost say, you can’t see him but you can smell him, gunpowder and tobacco invades your senses as he moves from you.
You feel the mattress dip below you, strong arms pulling you back against the bed as your limbs splay across the sheets, rough hands knead at your breasts causing soft meals to fall from your lips, another pair tugs at your pants, pulling them from your legs so you’re bare, the cool air of the room hitting your dripping pussy, goosebumps form on your skin.
You move your arms to feel the man behind you, trying to figure out which one it was before strong hands grab yours, pinning them down,
“No touching, not yet” The English accent rings in your ears, you sigh quietly as Konig’s hands roam your bare thighs, squeezing at the flesh, you feel his breathe ghost over your cunt, you try to squeeze your legs shut but he holds them open, pressing your lower half into the mattress.
Your head rests in Ghost's lap, one hand holding yours down while his other moves to settle at the base of your neck, his fingers on your pulse point.
“Open your mouth”
You do as he says, dropping your jaw as he leans over your form, spit dripping from his tongue past your lips, you swallow it with a hum.
“Such a good little whore” His fingers squeeze lightly at your neck, your back pulls away from the mattress, arching as Konig’s tongue flicks over your clit.
He laps at your cunt, flattening his tongue to lick a stripe between your folds before closing his lips around your bud, sucking at the nerves as your head pushes further into Ghost's lap.
Ghost releases you, letting your hands roam to grab at anything you can while his settles at your breasts, twisting and punching your nipples, Konig’s tongue flicks over your clit, circling and sucking at the bud while you writhe under him.
“You’re gonna cum once more, then we’re gonna ruin you like the little slut you are” Ghost emphasizes his words with a squeeze to your throat, strangled moans escaping your throat as Konig’s tongue laps at you, inching you toward release.
His hands pin your hips as you try to grind against him, needing more,
“Be good, needy thing” He chastises from below you, his fingers digging into your hips sure to leave bruises as he continues his assault.
“C’mon, be a good little whore and cum on his tongue” Ghost voices rings above you, his words shooting straight to your core, you strain under Konig’s grip, his tongue has you teetering on the edge, he teases his fingers around your entrance earning a wanton moan from you as he pushes in, the new sensation has your vision blinding behind the mask as your second orgasm rips through your body, your hips twitching against his lips while Ghosts hands roam your form.
He eases you through your high, letting you come down slowly before detaching himself,
“Scheiße, taste so sweet, if I knew you sounded like that we would've done this sooner”
Your breaths are heavy as you lay against Ghost, your legs falling against the bed as Konig stands, his hands reach for your waist, flipping you to your stomach with ease, you fall against Ghost as he shifts under you, his hands steadying you as Konig lifts your hips from the bed.
He slots himself behind you, his palms pressing against your ass, spreading it to get a better view, Ghost's hands move to gently remove the mask from your eyes, peeling the fabric from your face, his hand on your chin as he tilts your head,
"Need you to keep your eyes on me, gonna watch you fall apart" His voice is gruff, you wriggle your hips toward Konig in anticipation, his tip gliding between your folds, collecting your slick. Ghost holds your face up, forcing you to strain your neck, an arch forming in your back as Konig lines himself up, pressing his tip against your hole, you gasp at the feeling, now aware of how big he is.
"You can take it, I know you can"
You relax your shoulders, hands pressing into Ghost as Konig pushes in deeper, the stretch of his fingers nothing compared to the way his cock feels,
"So goddamn tight maus," He says through gritted teeth, you struggle to keep your eyes on Ghost, your jaw falling open as gasps and moans slip past your lips,
"S'alright, you'll warm her up for me" Ghost reaches for your hand, moving it to settle atop his growing erection, his hand keeping yours pressed against him.
Konig quickens his pace, your body shifting back and forth against Ghost as he drags his length across your soaked walls, your slick wetting his pubes every time he bottoms out, pressing against your cervix, you watch Ghost with hooded lids, his face remaining stoic as you palm his length.
Konig's grunts fill your ears, his fingers digging into your hips as he pounds into you, the sound of skin slapping echoing in the room,
"That's it, love, take it, just like the little slut you are"
You moan at his words and you can see Ghost smirk under his mask, he's watching you unravel under their touch, your legs getting wobbly as Konig stretches you around his massive cock, forcing you to take every inch.
Konig snaked an arm around your waist, lifting your hips up slightly, allowing his fingers to tease around your clit, you let out a gasp and clench down on his length, the rough pads of his fingers circling your bud, his hold the only thing keeping you upright.
You drop your head forward but you're caught by Ghost, his fingers firm around your throat as he pulls your gaze back to him,
"Eyes on me or you don't get to cum"
You let out a small whimper, your free hand digging into the flesh of his thigh as Knoig works you toward another orgasm, the heat in your stomach building to sear your skin, every nerve alive as he thrusts into you.
He works your clit at a vicious pace, your brain a ball of fuzz as it refuses to form words, resorting to strings of moans and whimpers, you stare at Ghost with pleading eyes, tears brimming in them,
"You wanna cum?" He squeezes your throat, his other hand pressing your digits against his now firm cock.
You nod against his grip,
"Use your words"
"Yes, please, need to cum"
"You wanna soak his cock, you fuckin slag, do it, cum for us"
Your orgasm rips through your body, your limbs going limp as Konig holds you up, fucking you through your high as you melt against Ghost, fingers clenching against his flesh.
"Such a tight little pussy, mein gott, gonna make me cum"
Konig buries himself inside you, his balls pressed against your core,
"Beg for it slut, beg for his cum"
You let out a deep moan as the sensation, you're stuffed to the brim, unable to move,
"Please, need your cum, please Konig"
He grips your flesh as his muscles tighten, spilling his load inside you, keeping it deep inside your walls as he gives shallow thrusts, forcing it deeper, his spend floods your walls, spilling out as he pulls from you.
He releases you, letting you fall forward as Ghost moves from his spot leaving you limp against the bed, Konigs hands press against your shoulders, pulling you to all fours while he sits in front of you, resting against his legs. His cock is sitting in front of your eyes, his softening length teasing at your lips, you flatten your tongue but he pulls back,
"Not yet maus, gonna fill you up, don't worry"
You whimper at his words, needing to taste him while Ghost slots himself behind you, your aching core clenching around nothing as his fingers tease your slit, gathering the mixture of spend and smearing it around your skin.
He gives you no time to adjust, bottoming out in a single thrust, Konigs hands keeping you upright as your pussy clenches around Ghost, your tears stain your cheeks and Konig swipes a thumb over the wet skin,
"You're doing so well darling" He purrs, words escape you, diluted to a babbling mess as Ghost pounds into you, Konig kneels forward, his palm stroking up his length as his cock swipes across your wet lips, drool pooling at the corners of your mouth.
Ghost presses a firm hand to your spine, your stomach pressing against the mattress, allowing him deeper while Konigs tip teases at your mouth, you part your lips for him, he smears your saliva around his tip, the taste of his spend lingering on his cock as you flatten your tongue, tasting him.
He pushes into your mouth, your body pinned between the two men as they fill you from both ends, Ghosts hands spread your ass as he lifts his mask above his nose, a string of spit dripping from his tongue to your hole, wetting the skin as he continues to fuck you at an unrelenting pace.
Your vision is blurry, your body weak as the men continue to wreck you, Konigs length pushing past your lips to drag along the inside of your mouth, you moan around his length, your hands digging into the sheets as you try to stay balanced.
"Is this what you wanted, needed to be filled by two cocks you little slut" Ghost emphasizes his words with harsh thrusts, the wet wounds of your hole filling the air as you gag around Konig, his balls slapping against your chi with every thrust.
Their hands keep you steady as your brain clouds with lust, all your senses invaded by the two men as they wreck your body, every part of you claimed by them.
"You wanna walk around with our cum in you? Dirty fucking girl"
The thought makes you hum around Konigs cock, your pussy clenching around Ghost,
"She likes that, you want us to mark you huh, ruin this little pussy"
You can't think to respond, simply resorting to clenching your eyes and arching your hips further toward Ghost, allowing him impossibly deep inside you.
Konig moves his hand to grab your hair, tugging your neck back to allow himself deeper, burying his cock in your throat as you gag around him before he pulls out a moment, allowing you to breathe.
"Please, need to feel you" You beg, your head turning towards the man behind you, Konigs hand moves to your throat, keeping you still in front of him as he thrusts back into your mouth. You're a mess of moans between the men, your hips twitching as Ghost's fingers connect with your swollen clit.
"One more, give me one more" He circles your bud, your cries muffled by Konig's length thrusting into your mouth as your orgasm builds quickly, you want to beg him to stop but you can't, your body moulding to the men as they bring you back to the edge.
The coil inside you threatens to snap as Ghost swipes your clit in time with his thrusts,
"Scheiße, look at me" Konig pants above you, you tilt your head to face him, your skin red, your lips puffy as you stare at him through your lashes. He stares at you with a piercing gaze and your orgasm erupts in your chest, clenching around Ghost while you moan around Konig, your body trembling under the men as your vision goes white, a dull ringing filling your ears.
"That's it, fuck" He buries himself in your throat, his seed filling your mouth as his hips twitch, you hum around his tip, your tongue lapping up every drop from his cock as he pulls out with a pop.
You take a deep breath, panting as Ghost pounds into you, your head falling forward as your arms give out, your drool pooling under your cheek as he presses you into the mattress.
"So fucking good" Ghost grunts, leaning over your frame as his tip prods at your cervix, he cums with a growl, his sounds buzzing above you while he fills you with his seed, your abused hole milking him. He keeps his softening cock inside for a moment, pulling it out and replacing it with his fingers, pushing the leaking spend back inside you, your hips flinch from the stimulation, your slick coating the insides of your thighs.
You fall forward, your body limp against the bed, the mattress dips under the weight of the men, Ghost lays back against the bed, his arms tugging you against him so your head can rest on his chest. Konig turns to grab a small cloth, easing himself down the bed to carefully wipe around your core, careful to avoid your swollen clit as he cleans you.
You catch your breath while Konig lays behind you, his arms snaking around your waist to hold you, your limbs are tangled between the two men while your heartbeat relaxes. His hands draw lazy patterns over your skin as your muscles ease, melting into the men,
"Did so well" Ghost places a soft kiss on the crown of your head, your cheeks pressed to the exposed skin of his upper chest, the warmth of the men comforting your sore body as the light of the sun peaks through the windows of the house.
"So good for us" Konigs hands trace over your skin, his chest flush with your back as he sandwiches you between him and Ghost, the thrum of their heartbeats filling your ears.
#cod mw2#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#cod mw x reader#ghost cod#ghost x reader#mw2022#simon riley fluff#konig fluff#konig cod#konig fanfiction#konig call of duty#cod konig#konig#konig smut#konig mw2#konig x you#konig x reader#simon ghost riley angst#ghost angst#simon riley x you#simon riley smut#reqs💌
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sighhhhh made an entire schedule for an imaginary 3mo baby. and wrote down a bunch of notes about how to take care of my imaginary 3mo baby. but then i got rly sad bc i started writing notes about how im going to be working 8 hours a day 5 days a week during the majority of the babys awake time and now im a bit sad . whatever
#Im not having a baby anytime soon i just like planning and researching and thinking about my imaginary baby that i might never actually have#makes me so happy#i do have a disease where i just cant fathom Another person being there. so if there is thats gonna muck up my schedule potentially...#but. i think daycare is a good option if i can find a nice one that i can afford. hooooopefully by the time i have a baby ill have a good#paying job and obviously if there is another parent thatll help with like. money and stuff#sigh idk im trying not to think abt it more but my little momey earlier reaffirmed to me idk if im ever actually going to be able to be in#romantic relationship and that might be for the best. and also idk im just very paranoid that even if i do magically get uncrazy and fall i#love with somebody and im well adjusted enough to have a kid likee. what if they end up being abusive or neglectful of the baby. you know.#its one of my biggest fears obviously id like. talk In depth abt having kids w them before we have kids and wed work out plans and schedule#together but im just very paranoid basically. but. it doesnt actually matter bc this is all imaginary and Again might not even happen.#im also. hrmm. bc obv a big costsaver daycare wise would be having my parents watch the baby if im living in the same area. however#i have very very specific rules for how ill interact with my baby and i dont know if i trust. my parents. to interact with them the right w#like mainly when they get older one of my big things is that i never ever ever want to yell at my baby i never want to like. yk. i dont wan#to Snap or get angry ik its normal to get overwhelmed and overstimulated but i dont want my kid(s) to like. see me being overwhelmed or#upset w them. you know. but i dont know if i can trust my parents not to snap at my kid . yk. not that i dont want them to meet my kids i#i love my parents despite All that but. idk if id be comfortable leaving my kid alone with them the majority of the day.... yk. maybe#weekend visits once the kids older but i will be Sitting my parents down and Lecturing them . abt how to treat my kid#ik ppl r usually better as grandparents than as parents tho. so hopefully they like. idk. im just very paranoid abt if i do get to have kid#if i do reach a place where i can have kids and take care of them properly like i rly rly want to im rly worried abt like. i just want my#kids to be happy and welladjusted and have a good life And well see this is part of the reason im not ready for kids is bc i place too many#expectations on them already. and i shouldnt go into having a child w a savior complex i shouldnt have a kid for the gratification of#being the one to give the kid a good life. not that i shouldnt want to give the kid a good life but like. you know what i mean. i shouldnt#have a kid just so i can vicariously live out a happy childhood through them. you know. which i fear might be what im subconsciously doing
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Dallas death sticks a lot in the back of my mind for a lot of reasons. But mainly because it was essentially a suicide. Everyone outside the gang will view it as Dallas being a delinquent and stupid but the gang?? The gang will always know what really was the cause of his death.
It’s why Sodapop is worried about the family falling apart, because if they do they’ll end up like Dallas.
Why Darry wants Ponyboy to desperately leave Tulsa so that this place doesn’t eat him up the way it did Dallas.
Why Two-Bit and Steve are sometimes scared of Ponyboy because his eyes are too much like Dallas’s at times.
Dallas’s death is so inherently sad for more reasons and idk why but to me personally?? I think his death is a lot sadder than Johnny’s. Because Johnny got to die and be seen as a hero and not a hood. Whereas Dallas fate was bound to be inevitable.
while we r here, nobody talks about how genuinely insane it is how the curtis parents died, like its just so insane????my god???? like u basically to t-boned my a train?????
personally i like to hc that the curtis’ chose (or had, but personally i go for a mix of both) to have a closed casket, and the reason y pony doesnt remember their faces much is bc thats the only time he rlly THOIGHT about their faces and it stuck w him, like when they were alive he saw them DUH, but he never took the time to analyze it, they died, and they never rlly had a lot of pics of them, PLUS the book takes place like 8 months?????after their parents died?????im sure?????
pony feels guilty for not 100% remembering what they look like and in an odd way, a bit for loving soda (and ill throw in darry here sine i feel like its bound to happen) more
and even w how it was handled in the book, u can say that it was “skimmed passed” a bit, i GUESS, but really, it just shows that w where pony lives he just cant rlly afford to mourn, he always has to keep on movin if he wants to survive (plus hes, pony wasnt particularly close to em that too)
#ponyboy curtis#darry curtis#darrel curtis#dallas winston#sodapop curtis#steve randle#two bit mathews
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muzzle anon here- thx for HURTING ME SO MUCH :D !!! that dottore fic is 'THE' dottore fic for me now, I will read it over and over and over again, it was an amazing experience. AND I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT
Since you wrote how the raven and sparrow's destinies are intertwined. I was thinking of a reincarnation (modern) au? Idk if you would be interested but I just keep thinking of doctor zandik and fragile reader
Kinda would be ironic if zandik is still experimenting on people to find a cure for reader
Or maybe this time they are actually healthy and happy together?
Oh maybe one day Zandik remembers his past life? How he lost reader? How they both ahem went to the other side haha like the whole "you are as beautiful as the day I lost you" thing
They can also met at an university (like how they met at akademiya) it is giving soulmate vibes but hear me out. When they first see each other, they instantly know each other, they don't know how but there is just this bittersweet feeling. Both are questioning why do they feel this desire to hug each other like they have been apart for so long
(I still cant over the death of the segments, Omega, and the end tho. Beta is my fav segment but ZANDY? GONE? NOO and then Omega also? Considering how reader told Dottore they still loved him, maybe Omega thought reader hated him while dying- Like in the end he thought about how he lost the love of reader. How much he messed up? Ouch .)
Actually wait segments didnt die (delulu talk)
Dottore: it was a prank.
Reader: wha-
Segments: *was just about to celebrate their birthday but now feel guilty they just caused a borderline panic attack*
YESSS GRRRR- Imagine if thousands and thousands of years have passed and Teyvat is unrecognizable from what it once was. Elemental energy, Visions, what makes Teyvat, Teyvat, are no more, and the world is completely modernized. Since Celestia is gone as well, the eternal punishment handed to you and Dottore is finished and you two can finally be reincarnated, and perhaps this time fate may give you a happy ending.
Modern Doctor Zandik and fragile reader... your illness is so mysterious that no medicine or treatment seems to be able to cure it, no one knows what's going on with you despite all the medical advances, you get sent from doctor to doctor, clinic to hospital in hopes of a miracle but nothing... But Dottore, he is widely renowned as one of the best doctors in Teyvat, despite his... attitude. Now obviously you could never dream of affording the money to see him but, it just so happens he hears of your case and takes an interest in you... Now, he never expected to get attached to anyone, much less his patient but, it seems that history repeats itself... (unethical doctor part 2)
Happy and healthy reader... and having an instant connection with Zandik!! Oh my gosh yes. Zandik would be the most confused and annoyed because he had never felt a connection with anyone his whole life, he's always been the one by himself. He tries to ignore it, ignore the building feeling in his chest, but as fate would have it, he finds himself bumping into you far more frequently than he'd like. You've had enough of his pretty man constantly invading your mind, so you approach him one day and it all begins from there. (I imagine if he ever dreamed of his past life with you, it'd teach him not to take you for granted. Especially if it was after a fight with you or something.)
I imagine Omega didn't regret his actions, but he still deeply lamented his relationship with you - he missed whenever you'd barge in and lavish him with your affection, how you'd freely rant to him, how you loved him. All were replaced with stone coldness. But perhaps, this is the price of selfishness, one that he had to pay.
😭😭 Segments pranking you... they feel quite guilty but at the same time, it's really nice to think you care about them so much.
#smooches talks#muzzle anon#fragile reader <3#dottore love notes <3#IK IM ALWAYS LATE AT RESPONDING BUT THANK U FOR LOVING THE FIC MUZZLE ANON ILYSM#this ask was delicious and if theres one thing abt me im always going to give them a happy ending even if there's angst first#THEY DESERVE HAPPINESS
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