#but i cant do that i cant afford it
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i'm going actually insane like this is not normal at all
#im more and more mentally ill and i can't do anything about it#i do the things i know i should do and i do the things i know help#but those are things that helped me when i was 17#and i was BAD but not like rn#i need to go to a psychiatrist and idk i'd try medication again#but i cant do that i cant afford it#i'm so tired of not trusting my perception of things i used to only be like that when somwthing was actually happening to me#when someone was doing something#but now it's everything#it's about what i see what i hear i start going on spirals about stupid shit#and once i think about something it's done i'll be thinking about it from then on and i'll have to do the things that allow me to believe#that i'm not psychotic and what i'm seeing isn't a delusion or hallucination#i can't even think more than two seconds about the possibility of being psychotic without going into a panic about everything i've done in#the last days#it's exhausting
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CDs are obsolete because the sound quality sucks
yeah sucks me good and hard through my jorts
#okay in actuality?????? vinyl is inaccessible in so so many ways.#cant afford a decnt record player which means that the vinyl i DO own is uhhh soumds worse than#my cds theough the blutooth speaker i have#cds arent 'better' than vinyl but theyre an affordable access point#and wonderful technology#and for the majority of people cd sound is better than spotify or youtubemp3#they didnt go obselete bc they sucked they went obselete (to the extent they did) bc of digitization#it ALL depends on what speakers you are playing things through#cds are LITERALLY lossless like?????#cd quality is usuallly better than vinyl cd quality is better than anything but flac#bc flac is MODELED ON CDS#ask bosk
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Disabled people should be allowed to travel in comfort just like everyone else. Idc if their wheelchair "takes up space" or if them using the airport transport service makes you jealous. Idc if you get mad bc they got to be seated first even though you paid a lot for your seat. I don't care if you think they are some TikTok influencer pretending to be disabled. I literally don't give a fuck. That person has a right to be there just as much as you do. Mind your own fucking business.
#chronic disability#chronic pain#fibromyalgia#spoonie#disability#travel#i want to travel so bad but im terrified i wont be able to bring my wheelchair#bc if i do it might get destroyed and i cant afford another one
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my father the ghost
#fantasy high#riz gukgak#pok gukgak#conceptually takes place Far post canon. this is using my future!riz design#I have. Too Much thoughts abt spyre afterlife and the idea of ''doing what you're good at and like doing forever'' as a kind of heaven#but mm. if I say anything I will have to say Everything and tbh? cant afford that#so. here this is. kinda think it'd stand for itself that's the concept. ok I sleep now good night
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i love when ppl draw bumblebee like the happy little creachure he is but also i love when people draw bumblebee like he's had 500 beers in the last 1 hour and still the pain won't even ebb
#bonus when they do both by making him just utterly psychotic but he smiles so no one notices#i am a shameful idw bee enjoyer but like in the tired af ppl pleasing libra girl who needs a therapist so fking bad but#has 700000 billion duties and 900000000 billion expectations and mean bitches in his ear telling him hes stupid#sense#and not the he feels like an officer sense like no my queen is just a teachers pet doing her best which is her worst im afraid#anyways i love bee hes very indignant and a bitch but also im gonna stand beside her sorry#u do not understand how powerful it was to give him a cane . a literal crutch to hold onto to feel stronger even when ratchet says he doesnt#have to anymore but yet bee still insists bcs he doesnt have time for the repairs itll take when others cannot survive#and 2 it comforts him with support and also power and so he cradles it close with the idea of him being weak & needing smthing else#to make him strong#even tho at this point it's rlly just for comfort but he cant afford to allow himself to have comfort when others cant#or dont need it in his heroism ideals (specifically optimus being seen as so much stronger than him)#optimus also had bee tho. had him. but bee is so self conscious he just sees all his failures surrounding optimus & views himself not a#crutch to lean on but a crutch to optimus' character#he rlly needed rodimus and his fiery upbeat persona so they could fake it till they made it together and he left & fucking exploded#(in bees eyes)#like idk im just obsessed with this little tryhard loser#he islike a sad little clingy mother who refuses to think herself as human. she is just mother. lives off evrryones accomplishments#never her own#idk like hes so interesting tonme i want to kill him teehee#chew on him like sponge cak#bumblebee#transformers#tf bumblebee#tf idw#idw#tf#????#maccadam#i hate not knowing waht tag to use
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I HATE tiktok and the Internet in general rn for the obsession with "oh this person's smellyyy" "Brother it STINKS over here" "BOO 💧🧼🧽🚿" and stuff like that. I wish I could put into words how demeaning and patronising that whole idea is and people implying anyone they don't like doesn't wash.
For one there's something grating about being insulted in a manner like we're in nursery again. But also WHY is that the go to insult. Why do you associate these things? Especially to those you deem "chronically online". Like I don't want to sound pathetic but it feels so nasty to me.
is it extreme to say this feels tied to ableism? And classism too?
#“take a shower” me sitting here with depression and no will to even move rn. That doesnt make me feel worse or anything#dry to wet change is also evil. and i get decision paralysis a lot and just struggle to motivate myself to do basic human tasks#and thats just me#what about the people with physical disabilities that struggle to find the energy and strength to do these things#And also like environmental factors too?#like kids can be unhygienic cause they arent being cared for and learning properly#people with learning disabilities and neurodiversity too may struggle with not being taught properly as its a “basic thing everyone knows”#people are homeless karen.#people cant afford to wash regularly#people grow up or are forced to live in unhygienic places and surrounded by smokers and alcoholics#people who are smokers and alcoholics and generally people with addiction can smell#people with health issues that cause them to sweat more#Like the list goes on#but idk maybe I'm just sensitive#anti anti#profiction#proship#neurodivergent#cringe culture#ableism#classism
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what if you were the ocean's grey waves...
#fire emblem#fe14#azura fire emblem#i cant afford to play the new dragon age so im just replaying all my firemeblems on the ds :')#had so much fun doing the lineart for this#lei or lei art
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i miss my favorite dumb siblings
#have the strongest itch to rewatch the clone wars but cant afford that so had to do the next best thing#also pls not a word about anakins outfit being from later seasons i had a hard time finding references#anakin skywalker#ahsoka tano#star wars#the clone wars#star wars fanart#ceesar(t)
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too eepy after work to have a life, stardust? smh
#in fast and food#loop isat#siffrin isat#in stars and time#isat#kitscribbles#oddly my comfort au and vent au wrapped into one#dear whoever said that there isnt much i can do with this au. yeah youre not wrong#lmao what's Sif gonna do#wish to keep his friends in the capitalistic pit of death of never moving out of town to chase their dreams because they cant afford to?#smh you dont need timeloops for that#therefore no loop u_u or at least not conventionally#could someone help me find that art someone made of Sif having a doll loop and i think that doll coming to life#if i ever go that direction id like to credit them#that there is my inspiration#art#fanart#tfw you cant think of a personality for your stuffie so you just overlay a personality over your own and give them that#have you ever tried to cut sharp points into felt. let me tell you it does not like to remain sharp
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part of my tooth fell out earlier so if u need a reminder/wake up call that dental hygiene and eating healthy is Important Actually here it is 👍
#jasper speaks#i cant afford the dentist so. rip. its not too bad the nerves not sticking out or anything. i can still eat and brush my teeth properly#so im thankful for that#but i was eating broccoli earlier and i felt a CRUNCH but i didnt think anything of it. then i thought about it and was like#hmm.#so i felt my mouth and BOOM chipped tooth#the worst part is idk if i chewed it or if it just fell like that but the part that fell out was in like a million pieces. GREAT!!!!!!!#i also just do not brush my teeth. thanks mental illness very cool
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Just wanted to let everyone know that if you wanted a print of either of the "priests" I added both of them to my inprnt shop
#some people asked if they can print it themselves#please dont do that#and if you do that maybe keep it to yourself#i would understand if I didn't had a print shop but like it's linked everywhere#and if you cant afford it's here on the internet for you to admire for free on your screen
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Btw just want to be clear that Time and Time Again is set to, and will if I don't pause, conclude in May 2025!
Webtoon didn't want to renew or give me any extra episodes so I'm trying to work with what I have. I'm sorry it's ending sooner than I'd like, it's been difficult to come to terms with and challenging to condense my plans.
You deserve a solid conclusion, and I've spent months writing to try and reach that. If there's anything you'd really like to see before it ends, do let me know in case I can (and want to) fit it in.
I'd rather not work with them again, and I hope I won't have to! But coming off of years being overworked and underpaid does not make that easy, to say the least...
I'm doing my best, and I hope you like what I have coming up.
#years of being overworked. underpaid. and literally manipulated and gaslit lmfao#it does not feel good to beg to be treated equally. and then told to be satisfied with less than that#it has been repeatedly demoralizing and insulting#and im not doing it again#i would rather nanny again (most exhausting job ive ever had) than work with them again#but. i would rather not!#I'd rather continue to make comics#but to do it full time i would need like 500 patrons on the $5 tier minimum...#which is SO MANY PEOPLE and incomprehensible to me#ive already proven to myself i can live on 25k a year but obviously its tight (i live in socal)#this. is not what this post is about#it's so hard for me not to complain about them#i feel bad for my current patrons i only share stuff on discord as of right now#well i do the merch packages but like#it's mostly just my discord#just dont have the time or energy to manage my patreon#cause idk if yall know but patreons site is TERRIBLE from the creator side???#it takes like 5 minutes to upload a single post it's ridiculous#so i cant manage it rn. I've thought about hiring someone to help me with it but i cant afford any help#anyways ultimately this is informing people its gonna end#and is turning into a vent around all of the stress surrounding that#like i literally had to take a couple months to just be sad its gonna end and come to terms with that#its hard! it's hard feeling so tossed aside and having your stories controlled even in part by someone else#anyways yeah#i havent finished writing the last arc yet#so theres space for me to fit stuff if theres something people really want#so id like to get in what i could if i can!#text post#sorry i always turn any thoughts about comics into vents about webtoon#theyre so ass man..... it's fine. im gone in may...
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bro idk what else to do so i'm posting this here 😭
i have an extra ticket to the genshin symphony on jan 25 in nyc that i really desperately need to sell but have had no luck </3 it's a very good ticket n everything. front and center . concert's coming clock is ticking aaaaaaaa
#If You Or A Loved One Has Been Diagnosed With Wanting A Ticket#please dm me 😭 i can verify that i have it and either send you the#stubhub listing (will be a little more expensive because of fees) or we can do a ✨different transaction✨ if thats more convenient#girl im DESPERATE#AND FOR THE RECORD i wasnt scalping :( i bought two in case someone would come with me but now i cant afford both
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the company i work for decided that its switching from the german formal "You"(Sie) to the informal "you" (Du) in all of our websites so now we have to scour the entire database to change it and i quite frankly hate that, not just bc the unecessary extra work but especially bc its such a weird and unecessary change
i bet its bc everything here is getting englishfied (both literally and culturally it feels like, when my new boss talks its half in english bc every second german word is just replaced by an english one despite there being perfectly fine words for it in german too, its so annoying) and bc they want to sound more personal in hopes of getting more clients bc 'company is your fwiend uwu!!', i know this here is the amercian tm site so you wouldnt understand really but i do not want to be greeted with 'du' by companies, no, thats too personal, you dont know me and im not giving you my data, stay away!!
i guess thats how i would describe it .. the formal you is like a polite distance, like someone you dont know staying outside your personal space, but when its the informal 'you' it feels invasive unless i told you you can call me that, and that goes double for companies
maybe its a small thing that doesnt seem important but i cant stand it, im just a little part time worker doing data work so i got no say in it but the companies founder also announced hes giving his post to his kids some time ago so ...... since then theres been alot of changes and new projects that solely aim to imitate whats popular and whats done by other companies, despite ours being one that is, or used to be, intentionally different, like, that was the POINT, but i guess chasing trends is just too appealing for CEOs
#ganondoodles talks#personal#rare personal rant#theres more and more changes that feel so weirdly forced#like man#i thought being different was the whole point#like climate and ethics are .. or were .. the core idea and now i guess its just fine to do whatever conventional companies are doing#yeah woohoo lets also do an app thing that forces people to sign up if they want reasonable prices!#smartphones the standard everwhere!#who needs anything physical if you can put it in an a phone so syphon off data directly out of people fingertips!! yea!!!#lets use AI pitcures bc we refuse to hire more graphic desingers and they are jsut so overworked uwu#climate? ethic? whats that#argh#sorry this needed to get out#recently had a stupid conversation with a coworker bc i asked them why we are okay with AI shit now when it goes against what this-#company was presumably founded on#and he was rly defensive and said welll we dont have time and its cheap and also maybe we should got WITH the time#like that last thing especially pissed me tf off#but i cant afford to lose this job#im starting to hate it more though so the dream of being able to stay like this might not be real#i cant get a job in this place that is as nice to my mental health so idk man#i wish i was good enough at merch and online stuff so i could live of that#but even trying to find out how taxes work on that stuff is a nightmare to me
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"people are mad that that artists wanted to be paid" no, people are mad that they HAD places of revenue they could have invested in and instead decided to fuck everyone over and piss off their fans who have been there since the buzzfeed days
(+ the only reason they're now saying they're not pulling content is BECAUSE of the backlash, and this isn't even going into how any growth is now impossible if it's their own platform, they are NOT big enough or produce enough content for this)
like, apparently they have a patreon? have never heard of it. absolutely no advertisement on it, when PLENTY of people would subscribe if they plugged it at ALL (like, fans love bts content, early episodes, extra/uncut stuff, having their names be credited at the end, a discord, etc) but I've never heard of it, and according to people who have subscribed, they didn't find it worth their money (not an ideal baseline for their own service)
they have merch? make more and better quality/nicer designs (or just fun quotes! so much of my stuff from their buzzfeed days is just shane quotes, but the only stuff I've bought from them now is their jackets and the professor doll, nothing else. I've looked at their catalog, it's ugly. put a funny quote on a shirt and I'll buy it guys, it's not that hard)
a youtube membership for similar stuff to the patreon, yt livestreams, USE THE PLATFORM YOURE ON MAYBE???
explicitly asking fans to turn off adblock for them on their videos
but, like, I am absolutely not paying $60 just for like 1-2 shows that only get like 4 episodes a year. they do NOT have the content for this on their own (and why tf do they have 25+ employees???? bro what) - not to mention, the inaccessibility the new platform and ability for non US based fans to even subscribe
people watch bc of the dynamic between Shane and Ryan, some of my favorite episodes are ones where we get the random text on screen- nothing fancy
tbh I get what they want but it's been my opinion that too much of their stuff that I watch has become a) formuliac and b) overproduced without much to show (imo mystery files comes to mind, it's Fine but I only enjoyed the banter vs all the unnecessary visuals, the same with ghost files)
I've seen people mention how expensive just the ghost hunting stuff is, and like yeah, maybe stop buying that big fancy brandname equipment without and instead ask for sponsors to advertise your stuff, all that stuff is nonsense anyway so it's not like you're lying about like betterhelp or something
and idk, maybe having a show where you apparently eat gold and caviar isn't the best if you're struggling with money (esp bc who watches it? not me)
what they need is someone who actually knows anything as their ceo, having less than half the staff they do, and investing in the avenues they already have with SOME pay walled content (not all), and maybe learn how to actually produce their shows without bleeding themselves dry bc the fans watch for THEM not the "production value"
#watcher#watcher entertainment#listen guys this is the dumbest thing you could have done#long post#ive just seen a lot of 'you guys just dont want to pay artists' bro i was ALREADY giving them money and supporting them#this is NOT how to do that this is how to shoot your fanbase dead#also like many people cant afford this now? especially when its an exorbitant amount for almost nothing
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a formal thank you to jakei for not blocking me for talking about cross 174832898 times a day. i probably would block me i'm really annoying. any way i very much extremely appreciate you andyour au.hhave a good break your so cool
love wick
#bashes head into keyboard#he is taking over my mind#nvrm hes not taking it over. HE ALREADY HAS#i have bought so much merch of him#im waiting for two other things to come in so i can showcase my insanity to the people (take a photo and get 18 notes on tumblr for it)#fresh isnt the real parasite he is. he wormedhis way into ALL!! my ORGANS!!!#im nothing more than a host to talk about him and his stupid ugly awful hideous terrible face#said in the MOST loving way possible#i need a plushie of him to drag around with me. do you realize how much money id spend on that#like the absurd amount of money i would give to see that#i would back the whole kickstarter. actusally thats a lie i cant afford that but. id try#i would be so easily scammed just for his sake#do it for him....#you dont get how many thoughts of mine are overtaken by him#i have like. all of the spotify cross playlists saved#and by that i mean i stare at 3 of them go 'inaccurate he is NOT this vibe'#and then listen to the other 4 sometimes#hes fuckign driving me NUTS#i love him. mwah mwah mwah#cross sans#xtale#do i even tag this one#probably not but i like attention. this is Because my dad left me
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