#But also the moments where he can let his guard down and be honest - honestly sad or angry or happy 💕

[sysig]

Sit literally anywhere else, why are you choosing to suffer (Patreon)

[letterstotheflre]

𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐈𝐕𝐘 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐒 (𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐈’𝐌 𝐂𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔) || 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐘𝐋 𝐃𝐈𝐗𝐎𝐍

summary: it's his fault. daryl knows that. he should've realised sooner that he knew exactly what those mushroom's would do to you once you ate them.

cw: 18+ only. dark fic [ft. sex pollen, dubcon, mentions of previous noncon drugging (on daryl), outdoor sex, grinding, fingering, squirting]

a/n: soo here is my first big daryl fic! honestly, this might be my favourite fic i’ve ever written :3 it was very fun to write and somehow i really liked writing daryl dialogue/inner monologue (his accent is just so fun lol). once again, this was supposed to be a very feral smut fest and ended up having a lot of emotional moments and inner daryl turmoil </3 i still hope you like it :)) || also very unrelated side note, but i think “gold rush” by taylor fits the daryl in this fic v much (it’d be from his pov, not yours)

“Where d’ya think we should go next?” You ask Daryl around a mouthful of the lone rabbit he hunted earlier this afternoon.

Finding food is getting harder and harder, not to mention you’re running out of your water supply. It’s obvious you need to move your camp to a better area, preferably somewhere near a lake or river. The question is, where is that exactly?

Daryl shrugs, turning the rabbit leg between his dirty fingers around. He takes a rough bite. 

He doesn’t know, and to be honest, he doesn’t really care. Now that the prison fell and with the group scattered to the winds, he doesn’t have much hope for anything. He had gotten a little too comfortable there, his first mistake, and now look where it landed him. Had he learnt nothing from his first camp with Merle, then the camp in Atlanta, then the CDC, and finally the farm? He had enough experience under his belt to know that things always took a turn for the worse, especially when everything seemed safe and peaceful. Yet he still let his guard down. 

The thing is, the prison… the prison was different. It was well protected, with several feet of fence that kept the walkers far from the main building. They didn’t have to worry about any walkers creeping into their cells and taking a bite out of them in the middle of the night since they were able to clear their side of the prison in a matter of days. They had guns and ammo, food and water. Hershel and Carol even taught them how to take care of crops. Hell, they even got their hands on some cattle! They didn’t need to scavenge the woods for some meagre squirrels any more. 

Things were looking up. He had even started to think that maybe, just maybe, they could spend the rest of their lives there. But then the Governor showed up and everything went to shit. 

So now here he is. No Rick, no Carol. Alone once again. Well, not exactly alone– he had you for company. 

It’s not that he doesn’t like you– he likes you more than just a normal amount if he’s being honest with himself. It’s just that… you’re a dead girl walking. He doesn’t know how you’ve made it this far, and by all accounts you shouldn’t have. Before all this, before the virus and the walking dead, you were a preschool teacher. You had lived in the city your entire life, in a nice house located in a nice neighbourhood with nice parents. If he had to bet, he’d say you were even prom queen back in the day. 

There had been no need for you to learn how to hunt, scavenge, track, shoot a gun or even handle a knife. Daryl had been the one to teach you how to shoot a gun in the air, volunteering immediately when Rick brought the subject up and completely ignoring the amused, knowing smile on his friend’s face. 

If he focuses hard enough, he can still hear the sound of your happy laughter the first time you hit the center of the target. Can still feel your chest pressed to his in your celebratory hug. 

“Think I saw some train tracks a couple miles east yesterday. If the others saw ‘em too, they’re probably following them thinkin’ we’re doing the same,” you ramble on, not letting his lack of answer deter you. “Maybe we could find Rick or Maggie.” You lean forward so you can reach the mushrooms you picked up today, plop one and then another inside your awaiting mouth. 

Daryl watches as you chew, eyes judging. He had been adamant that you shouldn’t eat them, shouldn’t even touch them. 

“Stupid girl,” he growled, swatting your hand away from the cluster growing on the bark of a tree. “Didn’t ya mom tell ya not to touch things you never seen before?”

“Ain’t stupid,” you bristled at his tone. “I know these, they used to grow ‘rond some plants in the garden back home. Pretty sure mom put them in our soup ev’ry now and then.”

You don’t let his lack of answer deter you. “Think I saw some train tracks a 

Daryl kneeled beside you, broad right shoulder touching your left one, and examined them closely. He was sure he had never seen them before, not in the woods from his hometown nor in any of his hunting trips since the outbreak started. “Nah, these ain’t safe,” he concluded. 

“Yes, they are.”

“No”, he enunciated the word to make it as clear as possible. “They ain’t.” 

“Yes, they are,” you scowl and plush a couple from their roots. “I ain’t stupid nor useless. I know I can eat these.”

Daryl rolled his eyes. “If ya want to kill y’self just to prove a point then fine, be my fuckin’ guest,” he snarked. Then he got up and kept walking in silence, not even sparing you another glance. 

He shakes his head firmly. “Nah, no train tracks.”

“What? Why?” You ask, surprised. “It’s our best shot at findin’ the others!”

“Ain’t no one to find, girl. S’better if ya stop kiddin’ yourself.”

“How could you say that?!” You look at him like he’s a monster. Daryl clenches his jaw. “They’re our friends, our family! We can’t just give ‘em up for dead as soon as things go south! Not after everything!”

Daryl throws away the bone in his hand and looks at you with fury. Don’t you get it? Merle, Sophia, Andrea, Lori, T-Dog, Dale, the list goes on and on. You’re the only one he knows for sure he has left and he’ll be damned if he has to add your name to the list too because you want to search for ghosts. You are his responsibility now. His voice is loud when he says, “Yeah, we should! ‘Cause if you saw those tracks y’know what it means? Means other people saw ‘em too. Bad people. And if ya go ‘round there, lighting fires and singin’ those stupid kid songs you sing all day like you’re in a fuckin’ musical or some shit y’know what they’re gonna do? They’re gon’ kill ya, or worse. So drop the fuckin’ topic and finish yer dinner.”

There really is no room for argument. You drop your gaze to the floor and gulp down the lump in your throat, bringing your knees to your chest. Everything is silent for at least an hour, the only sounds coming from the crackling fire and Daryl’s chewing. 

And then you call his name. 

“Daryl?” Your voice is different; breathier, quieter. Almost like you can barely string the letters together. “I don’t feel very well.”

He’s on his feet in a second, the argument forgotten as soon as he heard your mumbled call. In three quick steps he’s standing in front of you. He kneels so you’re the same height and cups the side of your face. “Wha’s wrong?”

You blink sluggishly, revealing your dilated pupils, and lick your lips. “I don’t know,” you slur. Your breathing gets heavier. “I think– Oh God, I’m so hot,” you complain, almost ripping the zipper of your jacket in your haste to take it off. You throw it away like it’s made of molten lava. Before he can stop you, you take off your long sleeved shirt, leaving you in just a tank top, and lean back against the fallen tree trunk with a relieved sigh. 

It doesn’t make any sense, Daryl thinks. It’s almost winter in Georgia, you should be freezing, but there are no goosebumps littering your skin that might signal you are cold in any way. In fact, you’re even trying to roll your cargo pants up to relieve your legs from a nonexistent blistering heat. 

Daryl presses his hand to your forehead and is surprised to find it slick with sweat. “Y’re burning up,” he says, though he guesses you could probably already tell. He takes one of your arms and inspects it closely, looking for any wounds that could potentially be infected. “Where ya bit?”

You shake your head. “No, no. I didn’t see any walkers today.”

Your arms are in pristine condition, save for some sparse moles and freckles and a single healed scratch on your forearm he remembers you got from running around the woods so carelessly. There’s no sign of a bite or infected cut.

“Did ya get close to anyone sick back at the prison?” He knows it’s stupid to ask– everyone had taken their rounds of antibiotics to prevent another possible outbreak, and it’s also been a week since the prison fell. If you had been infected, you would’ve showed symptoms earlier on, but he doesn’t know what else to do.

“No, I was with Beth ‘n Judy.” Suddenly, you gasp in pain and clutch your lower stomach, pressing your thighs together. “Daryl, it hurts,” you whimper.

The pain in your voice breaks his heart. You look so small, curled up in a tight ball like a wounded animal. He brings you into his lap and shushes you, “I know, I know.” He rubs your back in an attempt to soothe you. “Just lemme think for a second, ‘kay? M’gonna fix ya.”

He wrecks his brain for a solution but keeps coming up blank. He doesn’t have any idea as to what the hell caused this– one second you were fine and then the other you were bending over in pain. Did you touch something? Eat something? Was the water contaminated? Did some poisonous plant graze your skin? Was the rabbit he killed infected and he didn’t notice? 

The tip of your nose tickles his neck as it moves from his collarbone up to his jaw, your rib cage expanding beneath his broad hand when you take a deep breath. He grunts at the strange sensation. “What are y’doin’, girl?”

Your hands curl around his shoulders, the leather of his vest crinkling beneath your tight grip. “You smell so good,” you mewl, taking in another whiff of his scent.

What the fuck.

He doesn’t know where the random compliment came from. He knows you have to be lying though– it’s been weeks since his last shower. His last one was five days before the prison fell and it wasn’t even a proper shower, just a scrub down with a rag, a bucket of water and some soap they found in the last supply run. That’s why he says, albeit a little disheartened, “Y’re talking nonsense.”

You shift in his lap, pressing your chests together and Daryl has to force himself not to react to the feeling of your boobs against his chest or to the movement of your wiggling hips over his crotch. “Am not, am not,” you babble, pressing small wet kisses to his neck and trailing your palms down his strong arm. “You– you smell so good. Feel so good. So big. I–” your breath hitches when you grind against him, relief morphing your previously pained features. “I need you, Daryl.”

His hands that were previously laying limp on either side of him are suddenly held by your softer, smaller ones and moved to your thighs. He drops his gaze, watches you control his hands. Up and down, up and down. The light coming from the fire illuminates the remnants of your dinner. You shift directions and now his hands are on your ass, forcing him to squeeze and grope as you keep grinding against him. 

He stares intently at the leftover mushrooms and all of a sudden he’s 23 years old and Merle’s laughing his ass off as Daryl finishes the dinner his older brother had insisted on cooking. He remembers now, the desperation clawing at his chest when the shrooms started making effect. Remembers how Merle dragged him to a club in the city and patted his back in encouragement. “Go wild, baby brother! Lord knows ya need this.”

Misery is heavy on his shoulders. He wants to throw up– he was wrong before. He did see those mushrooms before. He had eaten them and been under their control. And now you were suffering the same fate he had all those years ago. Because of him, because he failed to realise sooner. 

You move his hands up to your waist, your stomach, your breasts. He never wanted it to be like this. He had hoped, stupid as it was to dream about something other than mere survival, that if he ever got the courage to confess his feelings it’d be when everyone was safe again. When you didn’t have to sleep in tents and cars and pray to God he found any semblance of food. When you’d finally have a house, or a room, or at least a bed. 

He’d be soft with you, just like you were with him every day. 

Now, as you grind and moan above him in a lust filled rut, that dream will remain that. Just a dream. 

He tears his hands from your grip, one settling on one side of your hip and the other cradling your cheek. Heat emanates from your skin like you’re a furnace. Daryl leans forward, lips brushing yours as he promises, “M’gonna make it better. That okay?”

You’re not in the right state of mind but he still asks for any semblance of peace of mind. 

“Please,” you whimper, little crystal beads gathering on your waterline.

After months of pining, he finally closes the distance between you and presses your lips together in a firm kiss. Your mouth is soft and plain against his, trusting him enough to follow his every command as he devours you completely. He uses the hand on your hip to help you smooth down your otherwise stuttered grinding, drinking down every sweet little moan and gasp he elicits out of you. 

That’s what you are– sweet. Sweet to touch and taste and feel. Sweet even in the way you cling to him, use him to relieve the affliction between your legs he accidentally caused. 

Daryl holds you by the back of your neck, feels the warmth of your breath as you moan his name.  “More. I need more,” you cry. The tear tracks on your cheeks glimmer in the warm fire light. “M’so empty. Need you to fuck me. Please, please, please,” you beg like a broken record, forcing your fist into Daryl’s chest and twisting his heartstrings without mercy. 

“Don’t cry, doll face,” he rasps, brushing away your fresh wave of tears. You inhale shakily, leaning into his touch and nuzzling his palm like a touch starved kitten. Your hands tremble as you unbutton your jeans, struggling to pull them down from how sweaty you are and how sticky the insides of your thighs became. Daryl silences you every whine with a kiss and helps you pull them down to your shins, not willing to risk taking off both your shoes and pants completely in case you need to make a quick escape.

“I said I’s gonna fix ya and I am. Just need a couple minutes first.” You make another noise of complaint that turns into a relieved sigh when Daryl pulls your panties to the side and teases your folds with the tip of his fingers. “Need to get ya ready first. This all for me?” He asks, gathering all the slick dripping out of you. 

“Mhm,” you hum, eyes closed in bliss as he toys with you. You nudge your noses together. “Always for you, Daryl. Only you.”

You really need to stop playing with his feelings like that. You’re talking out of your ass, he tells himself, letting your desire and need for relief control your words. Still, it’s nice to hear. He can’t deny that. Maybe he can live in this fantasy bubble a little longer, at least until reality crashes down on you both and you have to come to terms with what happened and decide to never see him again. 

He circles your weeping hole, taunting you, then plunges a lone finger inside when you look like you’re ready to pounce on him. It’s easy, oh so easy, for him to slip in. He thought it would be harder, given the fact that he knew you haven’t slept with anyone since the apocalypse started. Not that he kept an eye on you or anything, he just happened to notice how your tent and cell were always silent, much like his. But you’re so wet that your cunt practically swallowed him right in.

You tap his shoulder needily, mouthing the word “more”, and bite your lip to stay quiet when he adds a second finger and then a third. You could cry from how happy you are right now. 

“That enough for ya, ya spoiled girl?” He scoffs, rubbing circles on your swollen clit with his thumb. 

You can only nod as he buries his fingers up to his knuckles, curling them and feeling the rough calluses as he prods inside you in search of your soft spot. When your loudest moan yet lets him know he found it, he abuses it, creating loud squelching noises that have him smiling. 

Euphoria sends a shiver down your spine and makes your entire body shake as you cum, a small stream of clear liquid hitting Daryl’s wrist and dripping down to his jeans. “Shit,” he whispers, amazed. 

He made you squirt.

Daryl’s still staring at his dripping wrist as you paw at him with a heaving chest, fingers curling around his brown plaid shirt. Your nails could nearly break the fabric. “You promised,” you sob. “You promised you’d fix it. That you’d fuck me. Don’t you want me?”

He tears his gaze away from the mess between your legs in shock. How could you ever think he doesn’t want you? When you’ve consumed his every waking thought and haunted his every dream. When the only thing he wanted to do when you looked at him with those glimmering eyes was to follow your every command word for word. When he didn’t want to just fuck you– he wanted to keep you safe and warm, wanted to make sure you’d never know hunger.

He grabs your jaw, fingers tightly pressing on your warm cheeks, and snarls. “Don’t ever think I don’t want ya.” He tugs you to him so he can kiss you, unbuckling his belt with one hand and pulling down the zipper of his jeans. Your own hand joins his and squirms under the rough fabric so you can take his cock out from behind his boxers. His jaw clenches at the feeling of your soft hand around him, so different from his own. Untouched by decades of manual work, protected by dutiful applications of hand creams (he's heard you tell Beth how dry your hands are now and how much you miss your favourite hand cream. He’s been looking for some on every supply run ever since).

He spreads all the wetness stuck to his fingers over his cock, his stomach doing a summersault when he sees you biting your lower lip in want. You guide him to your entrance, gasping in unison when the mushroom tip slips past your soaking wet folds. Slowly, you sink yourself down, Daryl mouthing at your neck as you get used to the thickness of his cock as it threatens to split you in half. 

“Relax,” Daryl grunts, the scruff covering his cheeks scratching at the tender skin of your cleavage. He goes back to playing with your clit, knowing it’ll allow the tension to leave your muscles and he’ll be able to push in the remaining two inches. 

Once he’s buried to the hilt, you take a shuddering breath in and slowly start to bounce. “Wanted this for so long,” you babble. “Wanted you, Daryl. A-And now you want me,” you smile, increasing the speed of your bouncing. You chant, “You want me, you want me, you want me.”

Daryl nods, teeth gritted as he feels you tighten around him, walls pulsing. You collapse on his chest, hips still grinding in search of any form of friction. With a firm and secure grip, he grabs your ass and uses it as leverage so he can pound you down on him. For once, he’s not worried about loud noises or stray walkers or even unknown strangers stumbling into the scene. No, he just worries about you and your sweet cunt keeping his cock warm; about your lips on his neck, your hands gripping his hair and your dulcet “uh uh uh’s” ringing in his ears as you cum for the second time.

He lifts you off of him just in time to shoot ropes of white all over his shirt, biting your neck to muffle his grunts of pleasure. For once in what seems like a lifetime, the walker infested woods are completely still, only both of your laboured breathing breaking the unusual silence. 

Until you speak in a meek voice and it’s like he’s suddenly doused in cold water. “Daryl?”

He drops his forehead to your clavicle and shuts his eyes tightly, heaving a sigh. This is it– the moment where he loses you, where you run away. Forever disgusted with him. Afraid of him for breaking your trust. 

After another beat of silence, you call his name again. “What happened?”

He straightens his back and rubs his face. He clears his throat. “It was the mushrooms,” he refuses to look at you as he explains the events of the night, unable to stomach the look of disgust he’s sure is all over your pretty face. “The ones you picked up today. I thought I didn’t know them but I did. They’re some kind of… aphrodisiac or some shit like that. Merle…” he trails off, skipping over the reason he knew about them in the first place. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. “Y’were feeling so sick ‘n those things… with the amount you ate they would’ve– they would’ve killed ya if I didn’t…”

“You saved me,” you state, cradling his face so that he can see you. His face is all scrunched up like he wants to cry and he hates himself for it– he has no right to feel like shit. He shakes his head. “You did. You saved me. I would’ve died if you didn’t do as I said, as I wanted you to.” You kiss his lips chastely. “Y’know, I meant what I said earlier. While we were…”

“Nah,” he scoffs. “Y’were just saying shit ‘cause of the drugs. S’okay, ya don’t have to worry ‘bout my feelings.”

“No,” you frown, disconcerted that he always seems to bring himself down without even realising it. “I meant it. I’ve wanted you for a while, since– since the CDC, actually. When we played that card game after dinner and ya helped me get to bed since I was too drunk to even stand.” You smile as you remember the feeling of his arm around your waist and the soft pat on your head once you were resting on the pillow. You tuck some strands of hair behind his ear and his throat dries. Shrugging, you say, “I just never thought you liked me that way.”

Daryl weighs his options, wonders if he should take a leap of faith or pretend he’s never thought of you that way. This is too much for him. He’s scared to bare his chest wide open only for you to dislike what’s inside. But then he sees the earnest look in your eye and behind it, the fear that he won’t say anything at all. 

“I do,” he gets out through the fist clutching his vocal chords. “Like you. Like that, I mean. I–” He shuts his eyes at how useless he’s with words (another reason why you deserve someone better than him). However, instead of rolling your eyes at him or making a derisive sound like he expected, you simply giggle at his uselessness, reaching for him once more. 

He lets you kiss him and touch him as much as you want. You trace his brow bone and cheekbones with the soft pads of your fingers, play with the ends of matted hair and twirl them around your index. When you yawn, he makes sure you have your top and jacket back on and lets you rest on his chest. He stretches his arm so he can reach his discarded crossbow and leaves it on his side. “C’mon, go to sleep. I’ll take first watch.”

pls reblog if u enjoyed it, it’ll make me twirl my hair and kick my feet :3

[sorcerous-caress]

How do you think the party would react if Tav was a Fallen Aasimar? I sure it hinges on the God's aliment. What if it was a God they worship?

Reacting to a fallen aasimar Tav

[Bg3, fluff, nb!reader]

[Shadowheart, Wyll, Karlach, Halsin, Astarion, Gale, Minthara, Laezel]

You used to serve a god they worship/worshipped. I took some liberties with the godless characters.

Shadowheart - Selune

Assuming it happens either after the game ends or in an alternative universe where Shadowheart never abandoned Selune. Then she'd be very conflicted.

What could you have possibly done to have the most gentle of goddesses stripping your wings? Moonlight melting your silvery feathers until they're nothing but abyssal black and ash.

Her lady is wise, therefore she will be very wary of you. Yet at the same time, she can't help but feel a sense of familiarity when she looks at you. It drives away her prejudice for a moment and lets her judge you for your action, no matter how blasphemous the act of questioning her goddess's judgment might be.

Wyll - Tyr

To fall from celeste is to become a fiend. How are you any better than the devils below in the hells?

If he was his younger self, he wouldn't have hesitated to deliver you to justice, and yet the horns on his own head weight heavy like a crown paid for in a lifetime of experience. He knows better than anyone that nothing is ever what it seems like.

This Wyll is wiser, more understanding and open. He's willing to extend the same courtesy to you that he wished someone would've done to him before.

Let him hear you out, friend. Tell him what befelled this fate upon you.

Karlach - Tymora

She is more confused about how you managed to anger the smiling lady herself. It takes a special kind of asshole to turn their back on good fortune and lady luck.

An aasimar at that too? A messenger of luck?

She's never been big on the whole religion thing, to be honest with you, yet the wamrth and good fortune her goddess extended to her is still one of the best gifts she has ever been given.

So what happened? How did this even happen?

She'd never be hostile towards you nor exlude you as long as you don't do anything sinister. She genuinely belives in sharing her good fortune with everyone no matter who.

Halsin - Silvanus

Oak father preserve him. To Halsin, seeing you brings as much joy to him as seeing the shadow curse spread.

His God's teachings aren't that hard to follow, just respect the natural order and preserve all living beings. He has been diligently upholding this code through his life and spreading the teachings back at the grove.

Yet, the oak father himself marked you as an endangerment to the very being of nature. To the ancient trees and sprouting spring flowers, you reprsent the slithering all-consuming wither and rot.

He is very uncomfortable around you, not just on his guard, but you can see that he would rather be anywhere else than near you. Yet, feels like he had to keep an eye on you just in case you burn down a forest or something behind his back.

Astarion - Corellon

Honestly, he doesn't even remember worshipping the old elf or anything. He just assumes it given his previous stature and ancestry.

Not that the self-proclaimed protector of all elves has ever given him a single second of his time since he became an undead. No matter how much he prayed, it seems that the blood running through his veins barely counted anymore when it wasn't his own blood to begin with.

Fuck him, along all the other gods who turned their back on him for 200 hundred years of pure shit. It's a good thing you fell, he tells you, at least now your powers are yours alone. What's a god if not just another master to get you to do their biddings?

He is interested in you, mostly in your powers, to be more precise.

But it also encourages you to seek your own path and never think of grovelling for forgiveness or your feathers back.

Gale - Mystra

He makes a lame ass joke about if that makes him your stepfather. Dad puns included.

Surprisingly, he doesn't make a big deal out of it, even if it was before he fully got over his ex.

He's a scholar first and a lover second. He is genuinely very interested in learning about you and aasimars. Meeting one in a lifetime is a miracle. They're so rare that they're barely documented even. So imagine meeting a fallen one? He is beyond intrigued by you and your nature.

Sure, your morality might come into question, but he will worry about that later. For now, he is more interested in inspecting your wings and asking borderline intrusive questions about how serving Mystra was like.

Evil alligned deities.

Aasimars don't have many rules about them in dnd, but for one, they are classified as celestial beings. So technically, they can't ever serve evil alligned gods. It's never officially stated, tho so it is up to interpretation.

Devils or fiends serve the evil deities instead, so i thought why not make the reason the aasmire fell is because they decided to serve the evil god for the character.

In the next headcanons, falling is considered a good thing. Whoever your previous good god was that you used to serve, you abandoned them and went to serve an evil deity instead which is why you fell.

Laezel - Vlaakith

A good choice, a wise choice even. Laezel might not be versed much in the gods pantheon but she is sure whoever your old deity was, they couldn't have compared to her queen.

You have her respect, the same respect she'd extend to a kitherak even. In her eyes, you're the embodiment of the red dragon and rider knight both in one. Your wings and shinning blade speak for themselves.

She is honoured, fascinated too. Yet her admiration is a double edged sword, for she will hold you to impossible standards and consider it meeting the bare minimum.

Minthara - Lolth

She almost pities you, willingly becoming another pawn in this endless chessboard of drow conflict. Another gem to decorate Lolth's whip with as she inflicts it on whoever she sees fit.

Either you're foolishly naive or a complete masochist to dedicate yourself to the spider queen. Either way, she will test you herself to see exactly what you're made of.

As someone who abandoned Lolth, she'd be wary of anyone who serves her goddess. Yet you haven't cut off her head yet, how strange?

Minthara doesn't hide her disdain for Lolth around you, both warning you of the cruel fate awaiting you no matter how much of a good pet you're to your goddess.

For the longer you stay loyal to Lolth, the more of an endangerment you become to Minthara herself.

Shadowheart - Shar

Another child of the darkness, another sibling of the night to guide her through this journey. Shadowheart thinks your meeting was fate, a reward from her dark lady.

Especially if you saved her from the ship, she'd see you as her hero, a shining black diamond amonst the rubble and mud.

Mirroring how Laezel would've acted in fact, their dangerous fickle admiration of you that you never asked for would force a magnifying glass over both your flaws while exaggerating your achievements.

She doesn't hide her Shar worship from you this time around. She is proud, especially by you by her side. She will be your shield and recovery as long as you be her sword and wings.

[russellshaws]

What do you make of Tim's behavior in the last few episodes? I feel like he's a totally different person and it's making me sad to see him disrespecting Lucy so much.

just up front: it feels v clear to me that we do not share an opinion on this storyline from the tone of this ask, and so i am going to discuss this but would just like to preface that this is only my opinion and i respect that you/anyone else engaging with this post may have a different one. i am allowed to feel the way i feel, as are you. i am not trying to change or discredit anyone's opinions just because they're different than mine.

that being said - i will be honest with you, i don't really see where he's disrespected lucy. before you (and whoever else is reading this) jump me, let me explain myself.

tim went through something very difficult and traumatic with the resurgence of his wartime trauma and he made the decision not to involve lucy as he navigated said trauma. while it may not have been the best choice for their relationship, tim made the choice he felt was right in the moment. though we may not agree with it as viewers and lucy may not agree with it as tim's partner, he had the right to do that, and he explained to the best of his ability in the moment that he was keeping her out of the situation to ensure she didn't get hurt/her career wasn't impacted.

to me, that didn't feel disrespectful - it felt like tim relying on his tried and true methods of keeping the people he loves safe from him/the potential danger surrounding him. he was working with the tools he had available, even if they may not be the "right" tools for the job.

like, was it fucked that he ignored her for 36 hours? absolutely! that was disrespectful in some ways - but i think if you zoom out a little, it's not right, but it's understandable.

in the end of 5x07, lucy stops tim in the hallway at the station and asks him to talk to her - and i have seen a bunch of people who are really angry about the way tim handled that convo, so i wonder if that's what you mean by disrespect. generally, a few thoughts about that scene:

lucy approached tim hot - which, let me be clear: she had every right to. she was in her feels all day, she had something she wanted to say to him, and she was already a bit revved up coming to him. but she came into that conversation already looking for something specific, where tim was just...guard down, a little goofily happy to see her, probably a little nervous to talk to her at all.

tim wasn't given the opportunity to say much of anything. lucy asked if they could have "an adult conversation" (patronizing, but i don't blame her for it - he deserved that) and when tim explained he "couldn't give her what she wanted", lucy snapped. i understand the snap - i would've done the same - but tim had no space to continue talking there. that wasn't a conversation. lucy got her opportunity to unload on him a bit, which i think she needed. think about the breakup - lucy didn't get the chance to argue a side there, and tim didn't get the chance to argue a side here. they're equal on that kind of convo now, which i find fascinating.

so, is tim being honest with her and saying he can't give her what she needs right now disrespectful? i don't really think so. i think lucy is looking for something that tim can't give her right now - himself. tim has to sort through all his shit before he can be the best version of himself for lucy - in his tim brain, he doesn't think he can support her fully without working on himself first...and honestly? i think that's noble. lucy is far too close to the picture to see that tim has some really big issues he needs to work on outside of the scope of their relationship. i don't blame her for that, but it's just...true.

she can't be the person to help tim find himself at this point in his life. that's not fair to her or their relationship - so i think he's made the right choice here, as much as it hurts both of them.

i would also be remiss if i didn't mention that i think there's a huge part of this situation that lucy still needs to realize is on her. she has problems of her own, too! girl knows she's not perfect - but she has yet to address her own problems, and i think that's such an issue. tim is taking initiative to resolve his problems, even if it's not in a way that she agrees with. lucy isn't. just like their relationship already had issues, lucy has her own set. this wasn't the defining problem - this was just the straw that broke the camel's back in a lot of ways.

i hope this answers your question tbh bc i feel like i just rambled a bunch - but i'm always up to chat about this kind of stuff, so feel free to come back to me with more if i haven't annoyed you too much 😂

[ramlightly]

i’m sooo into malady and lapis. something about them just makes me want to *CRUNCH* down real hard you know. but also they feel so human and textured and ugh i love them.

so. what do they both love the most about each other? what made them know they were in love? what surprised them the most about each other? what are they like when they’re soft together?

Alright, this ended up being long, so I'll spare everyone and put a read more

what do they both love the most about each other?

Lapis really appreciates how honest Malady is. He doesn't hide anything, pretty blunt about it too. Not only this means that he can put his trust in Malady like he can with no other, something he cherishes deeply, but also Malady is very open with his love and affection.

Malady finds a lot of things about Lapis endearing - his cleverness, his music, his greediness - but is very fond of Lapis' soft heart underneath all of the crabbiness.

2. what made them know they were in love?

For Malady, it was pretty immediate lol. Once Lapis helped free him and they started working together, Malady realized "yep, I want to be with this person forever now" lol. Not quite love at first sight, but fairly close.

It took Lapis longer to wrap his brain around the idea. He kind of stumbled into the relationship, took them having sex for a multiple weeks for him to admit that he even had feelings in the first place lol. I don't know when exactly he figured it out, but I imagine it was something along the lines of seeing Malady smiling at him and feeling a bit funny about it before the realization him like a brick to the temple lol.

3. what surprised them the most about each other?

For Lapis, it's the types of specific knowledge and experience Malady has. It's easy to forget but Malady is like 200+ years old. Every once in a while Malady will casually reveal he's fairly fluent this random language because he spent seven years in the deserts, or how he met some historical figure from a hundred years ago. Stuff that's not a big deal to Malady but still catches Lapis off guard lol.

For Malady, it's how... brittle, I suppose, Lapis can be sometimes. Lapis presents himself as very in control and confident and clever at all time, and he is all of those things, but if you hit certain weak points he just snaps and crumbles. Hitting old emotional wounds that never really healed, things that Lapis would never ever talk about. Makes Malady fairly protective honestly lol.

4. what are they like when they’re soft together?

Lapis hates the soppiness of love poetry and songs, but even he has his moments of sentimentality, where he will softly mutter half remembered songs as he runs his fingers through Malady's tangled hair. Meanwhile Malady is a cuddler, he will hold Lapis close to him and not let go all night if he's allowed. He likes the feeling of Lapis' heart beating close to his.

[yeahiamjustalittleguy]

Ask and you'll receive!!

Can I get some headcannons or a scenario with any hermits you want where the Reader owns a little Diner, kinda like your basic 80's-90's aesthetic?

Have a good one :]]

Multiple little blurb mode activated. Also I am at my parents place for a bit and my laptop has a few broken keys so I am unresponsible for any spelling mistakes :[

_______________________________________-

Grian:

It was super early in the morning, having basically just opened up the store moments earlier when Grian came in. Usually, you knew him to be more of a late riser, but it was nice to see him. Especially since seeing a very tired and cute Grian was not something you got to see very often, despite him basically coming to your diner every day for breakfast. Walking over to him, a bright smile on your face, he gave you a small smile despite clearly being too tired for it. Still, you appreciated the efforts.

“Late night, Grian? The usual?” You asked, and he nodded, planting his head on his hand as he watched you working behind the counter. Honestly, you couldn’t say it wasn’t flattering how you could feel his eyes following along as you moved about the kitchen working on his breakfast. It struck you that he had probably been up all night, cause if it had really been a late night for him he would just still be asleep. Finishing up making his plate, you placed it on the counter in front of him. Having no one else in the diner at the time, most of the hermits (except Bdubs) were probably still asleep, you stood opposite him. 

“Why are you still awake, Grian?” You asked, curious as to what he might have been doing all night that had kept him up. It was something that had never happened before, to be honest. Grian really liked his sleep. He swallowed a piece of his pancake before speaking. “I had to do some work, and I didn’t want to wake up too late because then I couldn’t come see you.” He explained, munching away again. You laughed, and flicked his forehead softly.

It did make you blush, though. “You don’t have to come here to see me, Grian. You’re always welcome with me.”

“Yeah, but I like your uniform.” He said, letting a comfortable silence befall you.

______________

XisumaVoid:

It’s late, middle of the night when he comes around. You’ve already closed up the diner, but you’re trying to get everything done for the day tomorrow. You’d wiped down the tables and counters, and cleaned most of the kitchen at this point. When he softly put his fingers to the glass outside, knocking very lightly so as to not give you a scare, you had been sweeping the floors. You hurriedly put down the broom against the counter, wiping your hands down on your apron before unlocking the door to your diner. Xisuma stepped through, hiding one hand behind his back and when you noticed you raised an eyebrow at him, nodding towards his arms. There was a goofy smile painted on his face. “What’s all this, then?” you asked.

“Nothing, I just thought I’d check in on my favourite person.” He says, feigning ignorance and innocence. You squinted up at him, letting him know you see through him. You lunge for his arm, wanting to peel it from behind his back to look at what he is trying to hide from you, but he quickly steps back to avoid your arm. “Hey! Show me what you’ve got.” You demand from him, starting to walk towards him again. He pivots, still keeping whatever he has hidden behind him, away from your line of sight as he sprints to the other side of the counter.

Caught off guard at his moment, you make an effort to follow behind him. But he’s placed whatever he was holding behind the counter, and making his way to meet you he stops you from making your way behind the counter by grabbing you by the waist and pushing you back. You whine. “Sumaaa, I want to know what you have.” He laughs as you push against him, still shoving you back lightly. A thought pops into your head, and you stop trying to get away from him, instead leaning against him and looking up at him with big open eyes. “Is it something for me?” You ask. His mouth turns up in a very soft smile.

“Why would I get you something?” He then asks, putting a piece of hair behind your ear. You make a sad face up at him and he just laughs at you, and then hearing him laugh you can’t help but also burst into laughter. Having him caught off guard too you push him to the side, releasing his grip on you and making a dash for the other side of the counter. Laying there is a small bouquet of wildflowers. You grab them, pulling them to your chest. “Oh, Suma! These are for me right?” You ask excitedly, and he lets out a sigh at his jig being up. 

“Of course they’re for you.” He says, and you smell them, smiling to yourself, ready to close up shop and go home with Xisuma. 

___________________

ZombieCleo:

It had been a very busy day at the diner, the day only now starting to wind down. Basically every hermit under the sun had visited the diner today, Doc even having visited twice just because he couldn’t be arsed to make or get any food of his own. You didn’t mind, in the end, it just meant more diamonds to spend for you. But it was odd, having so many people pop around all day. Not once had the diner been empty. And now, as the day was settling in, and the sun was setting, you felt the exhaustion take over. If one more hermit came through those doors you would lose your mind. 

Just as the thought crossed your mind, the little bell attached to the door rang, signaling that someone had entered the small diner. You were still open, so you couldn’t just turn around and scream at whoever just entered, but the thought did cross your mind. So when you turned around and saw Cleo a giant sigh of relief escaped your lips. She noticed, and let a giggle slip as well. “Rough day, then?” She asked, and you nodded, letting your shoulders slouch. You started explaining how every hermit under the sun had paid you a visit. She seemed to get more and more nervous during your walkthrough of how your day went, and you knew something was up. So you just asked what was on her mind.

“Well, it’s my fault they all came through. I let it slip that I was going to come ask you something today and I guess they all wanted to be there. I don’t know where they got the idea I’d do it with them all there, but they’re nosy.” She explained, scratching the back of her head and looking away as to not let your eyes meet. She was clearly nervous about whatever she wanted to talk to you about. “Well, I don’t mind. You can ask me now.” You said, fiddling with the end of your frilly apron. You and Cleo had always danced around each other, and even if you did want her to ask you out. 

“Great! Uh, so..  I was thinking I could maybe, if you wanted, pick you up and go somewhere tomorrow when you close up shop.” She managed to squeak out, and you giggled, jumping to envelope her in a big hug. 

“I’d love to, Cleo!”

[thehyacinthsgirl]

Young Royals analytical thoughts pt. 2

From minute 7:18 to minute 8:20 in S2E2, there is this masterful either acting choice or directorial move, but it honestly floored me when I watched it again tonight.

There are no seats left in class, and so Wille is forced to sit next to Simon. Wille makes some smartass remark about how he thought Simon might want that space he likes so much. Simon comes back with the most honest, badass rejoinder: “I was just trying to be honest about my feelings. Maybe you should try it sometime.” And in the moments after this, as they stand up, salute the teacher, and sit back down, we get three very distinctive glances passed back and forth between Wille and Simon — each conveying something distinct about the circumstances and the characters. Wille and Simon can’t take their eyes off each other, but they each go about it a different way.

Wille wears his heart on his sleeve. You can see every thought on his face before he says it out loud. He is an open book, and so his glances are filled with unreserved longing, as well a lot of hope and sorrow (mourning as though he has already lost Simon). One thing, though, that is very telling is in the distinct lack of anxiety Wille has over being caught staring. He will move his eyes away, yes, but he is typically too slow to really do so effectively. So, Simon is privy to the knowledge that Wille is always looking at him, pining for him, missing him. It’s very expressive of who Wille is as a person. He hasn’t faced wanting someone this badly, hasn’t ever really thought of loving anyone like this: because he’s never had the opportunity to get close to someone in this way before.

Simon, on the other hand, keeps his face impassive. You can’t really read every emotion, except perhaps when he is smiling or laughing. He has his guard up, especially around Wille right now. So, he doesn’t meet Wille’s glances or stares, but in the off chance he does, he looks away as quickly as is humanly possible and avoids any further confrontation.

But.

Sometimes, Simon will determine he is in the clear and risk a look back at Wille when the stakes have lowered or the discourse in the room takes precedence. And it is quick, quicker than Wille’s woeful looks, but it shows that Simon is no stranger to weakening under the impulse desire to see Wille’s face.

And this is so indicative of both their characters.

Wille’s never had to learn to hide away the heartbreak and longing from others, especially not from the person who is the subject of it all, because he was never allowed this. The instinct to shield what he is feeling from Simon does not really exist for Wille, because it is not something that has ever been in the cards for him. And this results in unabashed stares of yearning that Wille can’t help sending Simon’s way at every available opportunity.

Simon has adopted a closed off countenance: not just romantically, but in situations he feels warrant it and kind of in general. Simon has grown up with a great deal more adversity and heartache than Wille, through not only growing up a working class person of color in Bjärstad, but also because of his addict father and the responsibility of being a primary protector/caretaker of his mother and sister.

A comment that has stuck out to me while rewatching this week was in S1E1 when August, Vincent and Nils are brainstorming how to get alcohol for Wille’s initiation. One of them suggests the “nonboarder,” Simon. Nils and Vincent then have this moment where they mock and jest about how Simon, when he first started at Hillerska, had tried to approach them for a conversation — potentially to make friends. From day one at the school he started attending for the sake of his sister, Simon is ridiculed and treated as less. That’s why when August first speaks to Simon in a friendly manner, Simon’s response is to ask whether it was a prank. And with Wille, Simon had finally let his guard down and was met with betrayal and heartbreak. So, of course his walls are raised, right? But even with his walls as high as they are, Simon cannot help but glance over once more at the boy he loves, the one he can’t seem to stop loving — try as he might.

I love these subtle things, the ways in which we can glean even more detail from the body language, as well as the dialogue or storyline themselves. It’s just poetic cinema, god I love this show.

[yujo-nishimura]

The Escape - Part 26

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16 - Part 17 - Part 18 - Part 19 - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22 - Part 23 - Part 24 - Part 25

After he ended this speech and the crew members were determined to not only escape Baroque works, but also fight them in case they would try to pursue you all again, Buggy stepped towards you, asking you to come to his cabin. You hoped he couldn't see from your face what you had been thinking the whole time. 

The tension between you and Buggy was almost unbearable as he sat on his chair and you just stood with your back against his door. The sense of disconnection between the two of you lingered, and it seemed that every attempt to mend the relationship and create a healthier dynamic only served to reinforce its toxicity and strangeness. Each time you strove to bridge the gap and find common ground, one or both of you succumbed to the overwhelming power of emotions. "How is your hand?" the captain asks, his voice pulling you back to the present moment. You shift your gaze towards your hand, which is still wrapped in bandages, a reminder of the injury you had inflicted on yourself amidst all the chaos. “It is fine. I have forgotten that I actually had an injury.” You answer honestly. He seems to be satisfied with this and nods. 

“Thank you for coming out and rescuing me.”

“I could say the same, Captain.” “May I ask now, why are the marines and Baroque works after you? I know we had this conversation before and you are somehow hesitant.. but I feel if I have a crew member on board where I am not the only one who considered her valuable I might have the right to know why others think the same,..”

"I believe the reasons why the Marines and an assassination syndicate find me intriguing might be quite different from what you perceive as valuable," you say, a playful tone lacing your words. Sensing an opportunity to lighten the mood, you decide to employ a flirtatious joke, taking a slow and deliberate step closer to the captain.

Buggy's eyes widen, caught off guard by your sudden approach. He quickly rises to his feet, his expression shifting from surprise to seriousness.

“Y/n. Please, just try to be honest here with me. Is this something you can share or shall I never ask again and just accept that I have a potential danger on board…?” 

You sit down on his bed, the comfortable pillow and sheets push back against you, you crave for a comfortable sleeping place like this since your hammock is not the best place to get rest in. 

“Sit down again and I will tell you.”, you breathe out heavily, looking into his deep green eyes, you want to feel these eyes on your forever and you want him to trust you and know more about you than anyone else. You feel ready to let him into your life. More than ever before. Buggy listens, sitting down, his face full of anticipation. 

“When I was still in Windmill village and Luffy was still small and innocent, I was 5 years older than him and already in trouble with the world government and the marines.” 

Buggy just looks at you, he does not interrupt you now, giving you the time to share your story. 

“In fact I was the leader of a rebellious army, nothing serious, just the things you do as a teenager when you are charismatic enough to gather some people around you and if you feel like you want to make a change.” 

You cannot endure his gaze any longer and you rest your eyes on your own bandaged hand for a while. 

“We were unhappy with the tax collector in Windmill village. I had started a peaceful protest and a campaign against him, although he was sent directly by the world government we thought he was taxing us too much, he came too frequently and the people who had less always had to pay more. It was just a way of terrorizing the oppressed and poor…” 

You sigh again, it seemed like this had happened a long long time ago somewhere else, not in the world you lived in now. 

“One of my fellow revolutionary members took the whole thing too seriously. I think he also wanted to impress me. His own family was especially affected by this, he was one of the poorest kids in the village and his frustration eventually turned into rage. One day he decided to kill the tax collector in our name and as I tried to stop him, I realized that his anger was beyond my control.” 

You gaze at Buggy once more, your eyes filled with sincerity and earnestness.

"He waited for the collector at his house and killed him brutally with a knife. We later discovered that he was not only dispatched by the World Government, but he was also a high-ranking Marine general. Once I learned of this, the World Government began to pursue me as well, as I was the leader of the entire movement," you recount, your voice carrying the weight of the injustice that befell you.

Buggy, with his head slightly tilted, has been attentively listening to your narrative. Now he quickly interrupts you: "But was there no trial? Did they not realize that you were not responsible for these actions?"

You let out a slow, weary sigh. "No," you respond, your voice tinged with sadness. "This individual left a note in his house, claiming that I had inspired him to commit this heinous act. They couldn't find him. Some speculate that he fled on a ship the same day, while others believe he took his own life. Regardless, it does not matter to the World Government who will be punished. They simply require someone to blame, someone to execute."

The absence of a fair trial, the absence of an opportunity to prove your innocence, highlights the unforgiving nature of the World Government's pursuit. You and Buggy both understand the unyielding determination of those in power to find a scapegoat and impose their brand of justice.

Buggy gets up from his chair now, walking towards you and sitting down next to you on the bed. You can feel the warmth of his body, being so close to you you start to feel dizzy again. 

“This is why I decided to become a pirate. If I am an outlaw and wanted anyway, then…” 

Your voice breaks because Buggy has put his hand on your knees, a very innocent gesture. He did not want to interrupt you, but he also wanted to show his support. 

Curiosity fills his eyes as he gently asks, "But if you're wanted, why have I never come across your wanted poster?"

You take a moment to steady yourself, feeling the closeness between you making it difficult to find the right words. With Buggy being so near, you muster the courage to respond, "Different name, different hairstyle." It's a brief explanation, but in this intimate space, it is enough to convey the lengths you've gone to conceal your true identity.

[attiredpan]

So with all the shit going around about what’s gonna happen to Copia during the Summer tour next year, I thought it’d be neat to torture my OC, so here we have the idea of:

What If Jackie got put in the position of Papa?

Some context that I am absolutely gonna butcher in explaining! This is a concept I came up with where it is made known to her that Copia is gonna get deposed at the end of the European Summer Tour and after confronting Sister Imperator, Jackie ends up hammering out a deal with Imperator where he lives and continues working at the Ministry, but she gets put in his position for the time being until they can find a “proper replacement” after she finds that Imperator hasn’t found a successor to Copia yet. And at the final date of the tour, there’s a surprisingly peaceful transfer of power on stage takes place at the end of the final concert through DATHOML.

(Also, this is kind of a lead-in for a ‘Copia War Ark’ idea I’ve had jumbling around in my brain, cause let’s all be honest, that man deserves to go batshit for a bit and go on a revenge ark for what happened to his brother’s all Inigo Montoya Style™️.)

Moving onto the headcanons:

•At first, she fucking hates it. Just fucking hates it cause she’s pissed off and terrified at the same time. Pissed at the Clergy, at Imperator, and any higher-up involved. And she’s terrified at the idea of what could happen now that Copia has been deposed. They killed his brothers the same day he was named frontman, so what’s to say they won’t decide to do the same to him?

•The paperwork part, she’s fine with, it’s the performing part that has her racked. She can’t perform, not like Copia or Terzo or Primo or Secondo did. But, in spite of this, she ends up forcing herself through it. Out of her, the brothers, and Nihil, she might be the most relatable to the crowds, considering she knows the pain they felt when Terzo was dragged out and later killed. And now with Copia as well, along with the fear of him meeting the same fate as his brothers and that helps her along with the whole performing shtick. She ends up bringing a more angry honesty in during her first tour or two, most of it, very obviously, directed heavily at Sister Imperator. And she has no qualms with making such known to anyone and everyone in attendance. Also spills the tea on stuff revolving around the Emeritus Brothers, but that’s more in a good natured and humor full manner. And while she knows that that shit could get her killed when this is over, she does not care whatsoever. And Copia (satan bless his parental figure brain cell self) fucking hates this. The protective fatherly senses are kicked into high gear during the first tour or two. All of his ghouls are there as added security, whether The Clergy or Jackie is aware of it or not, they are there, lurking in the rafters, down in front of the stage in disguise as human security guards, or backstage.

•She’s constantly getting the “she’s just a child” shtick from just about any of the fucking crusty-ass ancient higher-ups. And she honestly couldn’t agree more considering the fact she’s fucking 26. Cause in comparison to the Emeritus Brother, all of whom were in their forties or well over that when they started/probably had the whole thing planned out ahead from the moment they were conceived, she’s just some random 20-something-year-old who until then worked in lighting and pyrotechnics. Their ascensions were planned out over long periods, hers was done in a bit under a month.

•Also nightmares. Vivid fucking night terrors that leave her making the oldest Emeritus Brothers look like newborns. Usually woken up by Crescent, if not her own terror. Crescent ends up coming up with some ways to combat this; IE: meditation, a small bedtime ritual of Jackie letting her remove her paints, lighting a chamomile incense to help them both calm down, etc.

•Very big on the “I’ll give them a fucking reason” in terms of how Nihil was when Copia first took up the role. If Shithead wants an honest reason to say someone’s not worthy of the role of Papa, she’ll gladly fucking give it to him.

•Along with the very welcomed tsunami of advice coming from Copia during all this, she also tries to find some sort of guidance in any of the writings on the role she’s in and that was done by the other three Emeritus brothers. Just anything to help her rationalize what she’s gotten herself into and what she can do to do it in a way that feels fluid and right to her.

•Heavily contemplated necromancy to bring back the dead Emeritus brothers early on, but ends up deciding against it after researching the possible negative effects it could have on them. Tried a couple of times to see if she could get any of them to talk to her through an Ouija board. Usually only asks yes or no questions, being very concise and to the point with whatever she needs to know. Although on occasion, she’ll get a paragraph's worth of an answer, usually coming from Terzo.

•While Imperator would rather she lead a mass/sermon/whatever at the Ministry, Jackie takes it in more of a, per se, social direction. Always letting anyone who wishes to do sermons of their own do so while beaming from across the room like a proud mother. Although it took a couple of weeks before someone actually took her word for it and stepped up.

•If you thought Terzo or Copia were casual, here we see the literal figurehead of the church chilling with a group consisting of ghouls and Siblings of Sin in sweats and a hoodie, with some (kids temp) hot cocoa.

•(based on the idea that the Emeritus Brothers had paintings done of them.) She has said paintings hung up somewhere people commonly walk through/go. Does this as a sort of reminder of her predecessors and always pays respect of some sort whenever she happens to pass them.

•Every morning right at the crack of dawn, she goes down to where the brothers' caskets are kept. Sometimes she ends up talking to them, mostly Terzo, and there are moments where she thinks she sees a small twitch of a proud smile when she mentions that something went well. She usually chalks it up to her eyes deceiving her, but hey, one can dream can’t they?

•Anything she does in terms of outfits she does herself by hand and with her own money. Rather wanting to put the budgets towards things that would help with the Ministry and such. She never found a point in spending what could go to helpful services on indulgence.

•Shifts between a more casual and more professional version of her face paint for Rituals. She also took a small note from Copia, basing it on corvid skulls. The whole paint look has small details to honor the brothers in some small way (basing it on an animal for Copia, the cheek shapes for Terzo, and faded lines over the lips for Primo and Secondo)

Casual

Performing

•Her robes are meant to be more ‘practical’ in the sense that they’re easy to move in, having taken inspiration from the below image and the designs of the robes typically worn by Cardinals as an underlayer with a poncho or cape over top.

While mainly for comfort and maneuverability, it’s also because she cannot control her body temperature at all, so a lot of times when she’s wearing them and it’s during one of those in between bits of songs, she’ll be kinda wrapped up in the vestments like a burrito. Does not wear the mitre, and she does not do hats of any kind whatsoever.

More casual stage outfits (think like the numerous amount of suits Copia has) lean more towards this sort of stuff.(also would like to add: ✨jackets✨)

•If you thought Terzo/Omega or Copia/Aether was something, Jackie and Crescent outdo that tenfold. Do not even get me started on what happens during Ghuleh/Zombie Queen.

•Makes a point to get to know her ghouls personally. Always making sure they’re comfortable with everything and that they’re alright in every possible aspect. She and Crescent are very much the parents of the group.

•And now for the daily dose of projection, here’s her favorite song to do from the current albums;

Opus Eponymous: Stand By Him, Elizabeth, and Ritual.

Infestissumam: Ghuleh/Zombie Queen, Monstrance Clock, and Year Zero

If You Have Ghosts: Waiting For The Night, Crucified, and If You Have Ghosts

Meliora: From The Pinnacle To The Pit, He Is, and Deus In Absentia.

Popestar: Missionary Man, Square Hammer, and I Believe.

Prequelle: Faith, With Image, and See The Light.

Impera: DATHOML, Kaisarion, and Spillways.

Special mentions include Griftwood, Life Eternal, Respite On The Spitalfields, Cirice, Mary On A Cross, Death Knell, and Zenith.

•Album cover is based on this painting of Joan of Arc (Jackie, your French is showing).

Album Name is Libera, Latin for “to free, liberate”. But also with a double meaning, Libera is also “a Roman Catholic responsory that is sung usually at funerals after the Mass and prior to the final prayers for the deceased”

Tiny details would include:

The text on the chest plate being changed to “Sic semper tyrannis”

Two different versions of the album cover, one where the flowers would be Black Clematis to represent rebellion and one where the flowers are Strelitzia to represent freedom

The Emeritus brothers watching from the church behind

•Overall theme of her album is rebellion/freedom. Specifically rebellion against corrupt religious figures and especially freedom from that control they had over you. It’s kind of a mix of what would be happening within the Clergy (ie, Copia’s upcoming uprising against them) and her more personal issues with corrupted religious forces (ie, considering she grew up in what was effectively a cult)

•Near fully instrumental album, starting in that state of control and fear and moving swiftly into the feelings of war/rebellion and later freedom. There’s also a lot of violin. Only song with lyrics is a cover of the partisan version of Bella Ciao set at the end of the album.

•So we know how it looks as though the ghouls are being outfitted for war? Yeah, so that’s kicking into second gear now.

Also, here are her ghouls:

picrew I used

•Takes a more active role in the band, occasionally doing guitar (having been taught by Omega back during Meliora Era when she decided to pick the skill back up) while Crescent, Apollo, or Pluto does the lead vocals on some songs.

•And to top this all off, there’s a good number of times that the thurible gets lit up and she nearly sets herself on fire much to everyone, and I mean everyone’s, disapproval cause she and Mary Goore had a bet that she wouldn’t when the concept was brought up. He now owes her 200 dollars cash. We can also thank Mary for her being able to do the vocals during Mummy Dust and From The Pinnacle To The Pit

[lovebeinaprincessworld]

Challenging fate (Tom Riddle x reader)

soulmate!au

Chapter 7

Masterlist

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Epilogue

Description: There were a lot of unexpected things happening the day of the Battle of Hogwarts. Being send back into the past to change the course of history was definitely one of them.

2106 words

And of course Dumbledore was right. As soon as you stepped around the corner a few corridors away from his office, you stood infront of Tom. Simultaneously you wondered if this was even Tom anymore. His expression was hard and serious and you had no idea what he was thinking. “Where the hell were you?”, he asked with a deathly calm voice and gripped your upper arms tightly.

This was way scarier than if he would’ve yelled. The lack of an answer seemingly made him even more angry and his grip on you tightened to the point it was starting to hurt and you were sure you’d have bruises. “Tom stop, you’re hurting me”, you whispered, averting your eyes getting anxious at the thought of being face to face with the monster he could become.

His grip immediately loosened and you could feel his posture sagging a little. “I’m sorry I…I didn’t mean to I was just so worried, you were gone for over a day!”, he exclaimed his stoic mask falling and a worried tone finding its way into his voice. Not answering again, you gave into your urge and pulled him into your arms, your natural instinct telling you to comfort your soulmate.

No matter what was written on that note, you still loved him. And maybe Dumbledore was right and there was a logical explanation for everything. Please, just please let there be an explanation, you thought. Without noticing, your tears were wetting his sweater and he pulled away slightly. “Please, tell me what happened?”, he asked again, but this time he sounded way more caring than before.

You took a deep breath and pulled yourself together. Now was the moment, you had to tell him now. Wiping your tears away you became aware again that you were still in the middle of the hallway. “Come on, I’ll tell you everything”, you had to swallow down more tears and guided Tom to the Room of Requirements.

Tom was looking at you slightly shocked when he realized what you were doing, walking up and down infront of the wall. Of course he knew about the room, why did you ever think he didn’t. “You know-“, he started when you stepped into the cozy small library with comfortable couches and armchairs you summoned. “I’ll explain later”, you cut him off, which you could tell he didn’t like, because an unhappy frown made its way into his face.

“Sit sown?”, you asked after you sat down yourself on a couch and he was still standing there rigidly. Slowly he made his way over and sat next to you. “Okay, I have to tell you something”, you sighed slightly overwhelmed. “I honestly don’t know where to start and everything I tell you will also sound absolutely crazy, so please let me finish okay?”, you looked at him pleadingly and after a few seconds he just nodded with a guarded look in his eyes.

“First of all I want you to know that I love you Tom, I really do”, you wanted to make sure he knew you had been honest about your feelings. He just stared at you willing you to continue but it still hurt a little that he didn’t say it back. You could understand him though, considering you’ve been gone a whole day and now are taking him here and were behaving so strange.

“Okay so, I’m gonna give you a quick idea of what happened, but the easiest way for you to believe me and really understand every single thing, is for you to…use Legilimency when I’m done”, you told him this first so he wouldn’t run for the hills when you told him you’re from the future.

“How do you know I can-“, he started shocked, but you cut him off again. “You’ll see”, you smiled a little, “just promise me you will?” “I don’t know (Y/N), it would not feel right to invade your privacy like that”, he visibly had his doubts which gave you hope again that not everything was lost. “I understand and I love you for being so considerate, but I need you to promise me you’ll do it?”, you emphasized the importance of this, taking his hands into yours and he let you.

Staring into your eyes for a moment he nodded and you continued. “This may sound crazy, but to get to the point, Tom I’m…from the future”, you finally said it out loud, feeling immediately relieved but also anxious. His face looked at you disbelievingly, but he stayed silent so you continued. “More precisely I’m from 1998 and I was sent back in time by Professor Dumbledore. This is really hard to say out loud, because we’ve been together for a year already and I feel like you’re not that person, but…in the future nobody knows you under the name Tom Riddle anymore.”, you had to take a short break willing back the lump in your throat, Tom’s face looked like it turned into stone the entire time.

“Everyone just calls you Lord Voldemort, He who must not be named or you know who”, you told him and the Name Voldemort broke him out of his trance. “How do you know-“, he had a slightly panicked look on his face (as far as Tom could look panicked), but again you cut him off. “I told you I’m from the future”, you gave him a sad smile, “anyway, the point is I’m here because Dumbledore found out I am your soulmate and thought that maybe if we met I would be able to prevent all the horrible crimes you…you would be committing in the future.”

Following your full confession a long heavy silence ensued and you both didn’t move. “Why are you telling me all of this now?”, Tom broke the silence with a cold voice letting go of your hands and your chest was hurting slightly, scared of what might come. You hurried to pull out the note out of your pocket and handed it to him. He didn’t seem to recognize it at first but when he read the word on it his icy mask cracked again.

“This fell out of your pockets when you hurried off to meet your followers yesterday”, you whispered, the word followers slipping out and his head snapped up probably wondering how much you knew. “That’s why I was gone, I spent the night in here because I didn’t know…”, you let the rest of the sentence hang in the air, your voice chocking up at the uncertainty of your future together.

At the sight of the tears welling up in your eyes Tom seemed to feel forced to say something, but his mouth only opened and closed a few times, not knowing what to say to all of this. “I…I want to show you the future you will face if you really go through with everything Tom, a future without me, because I won’t be by your side if you choose this path”, you quietly said, pointing to the piece of paper still in his hands.

At the mention of a future without you he looked uneasy but tried to hide this from you. “Show me”, he said and looked up again into your eyes. You just nodded and kept your eyes locked on his, concentrating on opening your mind to make this easier, and quicker than you thought you felt his presence in your mind. You saw him look through everything from your childhood to finding out you were a witch like your sister, going to Hogwarts and meeting Harry and Ron and Susan and all your other friends. It didn’t feel unpleasant though, it felt intimate and soft.

Finally he arrived at the point where Voldemort started to rise again and saw himself in he ministry fighting against Harry. He went through all the things you learned about his past and the Horcruxes and he saw the horrible year under Umbridge and the day of Dumbledore’s death when the Deatheaters attacked. At last he saw you fight in the Battle of Hogwarts, narrowly avoiding unforgivable curses left and right and then he saw himself again, more clearly this time.

Laughing about the death of Harry and you being pulled away from the scene. He even looked into your life with him a little, maybe to make sure you were indeed not lying about loving him. Just as suddenly as this started, it ended again and the room came back into focus. Tom was panting, gripping the couch so hard his knuckles turned white.

His pupils were blown wide and he looked so vulnerable you were pushing down the urge to pull him into you, wanting to wait how this turned out. “That…that thing was me?”, he said after calming his breathing a little, sounding thoroughly shocked. “Yes”, you whispered looking at him uncertainly.

A long silence followed, Tom deeply in thought and you were waiting for something - anything - to leave his mouth. “The note wasn’t from this year, I looked them up some time last October and forgot it was in my coat pocket”, he finally said meeting your eyes. You were relieved about this confession. “Does that…does that mean you’re not planning anything like that?”, you looked at him hopefully and he took your hands again. “No. I was not planning anything like that since Christmas last year and nothing I just saw changed my mind. And before you ask, when I meet with my friends, believe me they are not my followers - anymore at least - we do not plan to take over the world”, he told you and you were so incredibly relieved about him saying that, that you couldn’t hold back anymore, and as if reading your mind, he pulled you into his arms.

A few silent tears trickled down your cheeks again but you pulled yourself together before he pulled back a little. “But…what about being immortal Tom? I know how much effort you were planning to put into that”, you silently asked and he took your chin between his fingers. “I would rather spent one lifetime with you than hundreds without you”, he whispered and a small genuine smile made its way onto his face, “and as you may have noticed already, I do not think the way I did about muggleborns anymore either, thanks to you.” You couldn’t help but smile too, and he closed the distance between you two, pressing his lips to yours softly.

“I think you did change me after all”, he chuckled after pulling back a bit, but instead of answering you pulled him right back.

You knew you still had to talk to him about going back to the future, and again (may it be because of the soulmate bound or not) he seemed to know exactly what was weighing on your mind. “Don’t you want to ask me something?”, his face held a small smirk. You knew that he saw the decision he had to make in your mind and having no idea what he thought about it, you were rather reluctant to ask him to make it.

“Would you…would you come back to the future with me?”, you decided to overcome the fear and get it over with. He smiled at you and answered right away. “I will go with you”, he whispered softly laying his forehead against yours. To say you were shocked would be an understatement, but knowing you wouldn’t answer him right away he just kissed you gently, making you lean into him.

“Tom are you sure? I just…can’t believe you’re leaving it all behind just like that”, you said doubtfully, though still happy that he wanted to come with you. “I’m not leaving everything behind ‘just like that’”, he told you, “I’m choosing a future with you, a happy one as I dare to hope and not the miserable one that would have awaited me without you. I can not believe I am saying that, but I am really grateful to Dumbledore for sending you to me.”

“And regarding your point that I am leaving everything behind, what is there to leave? The people I associate with in my house? Or my muggle father and the damned orphanage?”, he asked me seriously and I realized that maybe, if there is nothing good in your life, it’s easy to slip down a dark path.

“Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be. And maybe it will give you some sense of closure. But you should probably think about if there are things you want to do before we go back”, you added, slowly stroking his cheek making him lean into your hand. “I will, we can talk to Dumbledore later. But for now, can we just stay here for a while?”, he asked and you nodded with a smile, relaxing into his arms, incredibly glad that it did turn out this way.

———————————

Only one chapter and the epilogue left I feel kinda sad :( anyway hope you enjoyed!!

@darkenwolfie @salleun @dannalikestoread

[krisdreaming]

Keep It

Pairing: Iwaizumi Hajime x gn!reader

WC: 906

A/N: We finally had a truly chilly fall day where I am, and I just had to write this. Honestly the fact that I still haven't written for Iwa since I came back is a crime ;-; Also, surprise surprise, I am actually still capable of writing non-timeskip fics, believe it or not :')

You look up at the clouds scudding across the sky, rubbing your arms against the chilly wind. You're still not quite in the habit of grabbing a jacket when you leave the house, and you've paid for it the last few days. Still, you momentarily forget the cold when the doors of the gym finally open, and you let your hands drop back to your side.

"Hey!" You lift your hand in a wave when your boyfriend appears, and Iwaizumi grins, falling into step with you.

"Hi," He returns, flashing the smile that still makes you feel a little weak to the knees when you see it. "I'll see you guys later!" He calls over his shoulder, giving his friends a final wave before the two of you set out towards home.

"You know you don't have to wait for me after practice," He says in a lightly scolding tone.

"Yeah, but I want to. It's really not that long, my club only got out half an hour ago," You assure him quickly. In truth, you wouldn't miss these walks home for anything. In the short few weeks you and Iwaizumi have been dating, it's become the part of your day you look forward to most.

"Okay," He shrugs with a chuckle, and reaches for your hand. You gladly take it, letting him slide his fingers between yours. "Geez," He says suddenly, "Your hands are cold."

"Oh, sorry," You say self-consciously, moving to pull your hand away. Instead, he tugs you closer.

"Are you cold?" He asks, glancing sideways at you.

You shrug vaguely, giving your head a shake. "Ah, not really," You lie, trying your hardest to keep from shivering. It hadn't been so bad at first, but the longer you'd waited for him, the more the wind had begun to nip through your thin top.

"Hmm," He hums thoughtfully. Suddenly, he comes from a stop, pulling his hand from yours. You open your mouth to apologize again, but before you can, he's shrugging out of his jacket.

"Here," He holds it out to you, and you slowly take it from him.

"Are you sure?" You ask quickly, feeling immediately guilty that he'd give up his own jacket just because you'd been foolish enough not to bring one of your own.

"Yeah," He says, "I'm pretty warm after practice. I was thinking about taking it off anyway." The slightest flush is beginning high in his cheeks, and you suspect he may not be completely honest, but you still smile gratefully.

"Well, thank you." You pull the jacket on, immediately feeling the warmth of his body heat still clinging to the fabric. "I appreciate it." You smile shyly, and he reaches out to turn down the collar of the jacket so that it lays smoothly. With the gesture, you suddenly find it a little more difficult to meet his gaze.

"No problem," He turns away quickly, reaching for your hand again as you resume walking. The two of you must chatter about something or other on the remainder of the walk, but you aren't paying much mind. Instead, all you can think about is his jacket, now snugged around you. This is the jacket you see him in nearly every day after practice, the jacket whose comforting fabric you always feel against your cheek when he hugs you. It's become something of a familiar feature of his, and now you're wearing it. The mere thought sets butterflies aflutter in your middle.

"Well, here we are." You're startled from your thoughts when he comes to a stop, and you realize that you are in front of your house.

"Thanks for walking me home," You say, moving to pull the jacket off so you can return it to him.

"Wait," He says quickly, settling his hand on yours before you can slip your arm from the sleeve. "You should keep it."

"Really?" You sputter, caught off guard for a moment. "But-"

"I want you to have it," He cuts you off, drawing closer and resting his hands on your hips, just above the hem of the jacket. You bite down on your lip before the smile on your face can grow too big. "I think it suits you," He continues, the flush from earlier deepening on his cheeks as he flashes you a positively adorable half-smile.

"Oh," You glance down at yourself in the jacket for just a moment, then back to his face. "Well, thank you. I'd like that," You say softly.

"Good," He returns just a softly, his nose now hovering mere inches from yours. With that, he closes the remaining distance and presses his lips to yours in a chaste but sweet kiss. It lasts just long enough for you to grip the fabric of his t-shirt in your fingers, and when he pulls away, you don't let go right away.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" He says before you can muster up any words of your own.

"Yeah," You breathe out, not bothering to fight the smile growing on your face. "Tomorrow." He reluctantly slides his hands from your hips, and you release your grip as he pulls away. For a few moments, he keeps his eyes on you, finally lifting his hand in a wave as he turns. You watch him go, your fingers now tugging at the hem of his jacket. In this moment, you don't know if you'll ever feel cold again.

[handsomelyhiddleston]

Sticky Notes - Tom Hiddleston x Reader

It all started on the set of Ragnarok. They hadn’t even started filming yet. Table reads, choreography, costume fittings, set development…The cast, crew, and even Taika started finding little notes.

Some were specifically to certain people…

“Your laugh is contagious. Thank you for making this set so down to earth and inviting.” You slipped that into Taika’s (the director’s) fanny pack when he left it on his director’s chair.

“I know how hard you’ve been working on your fight choreography, and I just wanted to let you know you absolutely killed it today!” You left that stuck to Tessa’s (Valkyrie’s) water bottle.  

Some you posted for everyone, like “I know that you all put such amazing effort and time into bringing this movie to life and I just want you all to know that it doesn’t go unnoticed.” That note was posted above a table full of ‘easy to grab’ snacks you laid out such as protein bars, fruit snacks, pretzels, and dried fruit.

This continued well into filming. Everyone had tried to figure out who was leaving these little daily encouragements. It got to the point that Taika started calling you Casper, as in “Casper the Friendly Ghost.” Every day at the start of filming he would say. “Come on guys. Let’s make Casper proud.”

Everyone had a theory. Most thought that it was actually Taika just trying to keep morale up. Taika accused Tom but took it back after some comment about the notes not sounding very British.

Your job on set was to cast extras. While you were present daily, you honestly only had to meet with Taika once or twice a day to make sure the next day’s cast extras were ready. You two fell into an easy rhythm working together and he started asking for your opinion on some other aspects of the set. One late afternoon, after an incredibly chaotic day of filming, Taika decided that he was going to scrap the entire scene and start it over.

He pulled out his phone and sent a text to you, Tom, and Chris. “Today can suck it. I’ve just watched the dailies, and something just isn’t right about that scene. Meet at mine in 30 so we can get ahead of it.” A few seconds later he added, “And for the love of God, someone bring some tequila.”

You laughed at his text, jogging to the trailer you shared with the other casting director. You changed into a pair of shorts and a baggy t-shirt and grabbed your keys and wallet. You jumped in your car so you could make a quick trip to the Starbucks down the street since it appeared it was going to be a long night.

“One Venti iced coffee with milk and 1 sugar, one Grande Americano hot with cream and 2 sugars, one Venti hot latte with vanilla, and one Venti hot water with two earl gray tea bags and four sugars on the side. Can I also get one of the small kid’s milk boxes?” You heard the barista repeat your order back and pulled forward and paid.

When you got to Taika’s trailer, Tom and Chris were already there.

“Oh, bless you” Taika thanked you, taking the Latte from you.

“You’re the best” Chris said, taking the lid off of the Americano so it would cool off a bit.  

“Tom, I grabbed you tea.” You handed him the hot water and two tea bags, setting the sugars and milk next to him so he could make it to his liking.

“You’re too kind” Tom graciously took the hot water from you, noting that you grabbed his favorite kind of tea.

In Taika’s trailer there was a table with a bench on each side. Chris and Tom were sat on one side, leaving a space for you to sit next to Taika.

“Anyone grab the tequila?” you laughed, dropping your keys and wallet on Taika’s counter and sitting at the table with your iced coffee.

Taika grabbed the bottle and sat it down in front of you. “You’re already two swigs behind, love.”

“Bullshit” you laughed. “Prove it. Where are the shot glasses?”

“I said swigs, not shots” Taika smirked. “We don’t have shot glasses.”

“Look at how much is missing from that bottle. I just bought it.” Hemsworth backed Taika up.

You looked at Tom, knowing he would be honest with you.

“Hey, you trust Tom more than me?” Taika pretended to be offended.

“Tom always looks out for everybody. I don’t think he’d let me get two shots drunker than you fools.” You teased Taika, poking his side and sticking your tongue out at him.

“Watch” Taika said, putting his arm around your shoulders and looking towards Tom. “How many swigs did we all take?”

Tom laughed, “I’m sorry darling, but he’s telling you the truth.”  

“Fine, fine.” You opened the bottle and took three swigs, handing it to Taika. “Catch up, then.”

Tom started thinking about the compliment you had given him as he took his third swig of Tequila. He felt flattered that you felt that way, but it also reminded him of one of the notes he had found stuck to his trailer door.

“Okay, we need to re-block this whole scene. It just did not translate from script to screen…” The four of you worked on a few line changes and mapped out a better way to execute the scene for over two hours.

There was a bit of dialogue that Taika felt was getting lost that he really just didn’t want to let go of. “We may just have to mess with this tomorrow while we’re filming.”

“Or you could have Loki say it instead of Thor.” You suggested.

“Could do.” You could tell that Taika was thinking it over.

“Here you have Thor immediately going into another hard-hitting line” you explained. “If that line comes from Loki, it makes it less likely to get lost.”

“I think that will fix this problem too” Chris started underlining other parts of the dialogue.

“What do you think?” Taika looked at Tom.

“I mean, I personally think Loki has already evolved enough at that point in the script that it suits him quite nicely.” Tom explained in a way only Tom can explain.

“I agree” you said. “You guys make Loki grow quite a bit in this film and as usual, Tom is hitting it out of the park. I’m 100% confident he will have conveyed that message to the audience by this point.”

“Thank you for your vote of confidence.” Again, Tom was flattered. However, he was growing more and more suspicious that you were Casper.

“Always” you replied, smiling at Tom as you finished your coffee.

“Let me type this up and we can table read it.” Taika grabbed the papers and went to the other side of the trailer where his computer was set up.

“While you do that, I’m going to steal your restroom for a moment.” Chris stood, throwing his empty coffee cup away and closing the bathroom door. Chris joined Taika a moment later.

“Y/n?” Tom said, kind of quietly.

“What’s up?” Your elbows were resting on the table with your chin sat on your hands.

“Can I ask you something?” Tom didn’t want to bring it up in front of anyone. He didn’t want the notes to stop, but he had to know.

Tom looked a bit serious, but you didn’t know why. “Of course.”

“Are you…” He stopped, reaching his hand into his back pocket to retrieve his wallet. “Is this you?”

Your eyes went wide as Tom pulled a small stack of pink sticky notes out of his wallet, laying them down next to each other. There must have been 10 of them in total. You were touched that he actually kept them. Sometimes you felt silly leaving them for people not knowing if they appreciated them. You tried to play it off, laughing. “I thought those were from Taika?”

He pointed at one of them, reading it quietly. “I tried the tea you always drink. I don’t think it could ever replace my love of coffee, but I wanted you to know it pairs well with a good book.” He pointed to another note. “I know you paid for everyone to Uber home after our last night out. I just wanted to tell you I appreciate you. Thank you for always looking out for us.” You could feel his eyes on you as he moved his hand to a third note. “I envy your ability to capture a room. You’ve got an amazing knack for making those watching you feel whatever emotion you’re trying to convey.” When Tom’s hand moved to the fourth note, you heard Taika’s printer turn on.

“Put them away” you said, trying to stack them quickly. Chris started walking towards you and you grabbed the small stack you had gathered and put them in your pocket.

Tom put the rest back in his wallet. “What do you think?” he asked Taika about the changes he had made.

“I think tomorrow is going to be a lot fuckin’ better.” He passed the printed copies around after joining the two of you back at the table.

Tom’s line went over great, and the dialogue flowed much more smoothly. All of the other changes made the scene feel more natural. When Taika called it a night, Chris laid down on the couch refusing to go back to his own trailer.

“Can I walk you to yours?” Tom asked as you stepped out of Taika’s trailer.

The two of you walked back to your trailer in comfortable silence, tired and a little drunk. When you got to the door, you turned around and pulled the pink notes out of your pocket.

“Please don’t tell anyone?” You placed the notes in Tom’s hand.

“I didn’t plan on it” he replied, tucking them neatly back into his wallet.

“I feel silly now that someone knows it was me. Why did you keep them?” You had to ask. You assumed, at most, that people read them, smiled, and threw them away.

“Hmm…” Tom laughed humorlessly, his eyes focused on his wallet. “I think you’re doing a lot more than you realize when you leave your ‘silly’ little notes.”

His response caught you off guard. He almost sounded…sad? Serious?

“Y/n, I’ve had to work with actors and crew that have made filming a project miserable. Whether they were rude or critical or just an absolute diva, there is always someone to bring the room down.” He put his wallet away and looked you in the eyes. “I wish you knew how many of us have kept these notes. Taika has them in the glovebox of his car. The catwalk above the set is covered in notes you’ve left the crew. They’re stuck all over the mirrors in the make-up trailer so that the cast sees them first thing in the morning.”

Your eyes went wide. “What?”

Tom put his hands on each of your arms as if to ensure you were paying attention. “An encouraging word or a genuine compliment can change someone’s entire day, y/n. You have no way of knowing what life has dealt any of these people. They could be depressed or stressed out or wishing they hadn’t woken up that morning…and all of a sudden they receive a tiny bit of kindness from someone and it makes it that much easier to get through another day. Maybe even with a smile on their face.”

Tom wore a soft smile and even though you felt a bit overwhelmed, you couldn’t help but smile back. “Thank you for telling me that.” You moved towards him, pulling him into a tight hug.

“Please don’t forget it.” Tom pulled back a bit and pressed a quick kiss to your cheek. “I hope you get a good night’s sleep.”

“You, too.” You watched Tom walk away before slipping into your shared trailer.

Over the next few weeks, Tom had left you multiple green sticky notes with compliments written on them.

“You looked stunning yesterday”

“Thank you for still being a good listener when I go on rants about things you couldn’t care less about”

“Taika was bragging about you to someone on the phone. I just wanted you to know. I know sometimes you hesitate to suggest your ideas, but you shouldn’t.”

“I appreciate how much time you spend making this a better set to work on.”

“You are an incredible friend.”

You’d find at least one note a day and for every note he left you, you’d leave one for him. The two of you got quite a bit closer after he found out about your secret. You’d spend breaks on set together and often times wound up back in Taika’s trailer with him and Chris. You cuddled and flirted and shared more than a few loving glances, but you never went any further. It felt like it was turning into something more, but Tom was such a gentleman you couldn’t tell.

The note you found this morning, however, completely caught you off guard. The filming was almost done and everyone’s time on set was almost over. You had just sat down next to the director’s chair and opened your laptop. There, stuck to the screen, was a green sticky note. “Darling, would you please be mine?”

You looked up at Tom on stage only to find him already looking at you. He lifted his brow and tilted his head, waiting for your response. You couldn’t help but smile as you nodded ‘yes’.

Taika looked between you, noticing the interaction and intentionally teasing you. “Oi, what’s this then?”

Tom turned, trying to hide his grin by talking to Chris. You closed your laptop to hide the sticky note.

“Nah, I saw you two. Don’t pretend like I’m crazy.” Taika was still looking back and forth between you and Tom.

“Maybe you’re still drunk from last night” you teased, putting your laptop in its bag so you could retrieve the note later.

“Oh, sure.” He dropped it, knowing he’d bring it up tonight when you all gathered in his trailer.

The rest of the filming flew by crazy fast. You and Tom had decided that you would go stay with him in New York until the press junkets and interviews started. When the premier rolled around, you two were already publicly dating so you got to escort him down the red carpet. It had been just over a year since the two of you had started dating.

As the credits for the film started rolling, you felt like you were walking down memory lane. So many people go into making movies of this scale and watching all of the names roll by, one by one, really puts that into perspective. You’d met almost all of these people and worked closely with quite a few of them. As the credits came to an end, you saw that Taika had added an extra credit.

The last few “SPECIAL THANKS” credits were in order as listed…

“The filmmakers acknowledge the assistance of the New Zealand Government’s Screen Production Grant”

“The filmmakers would like to acknowledge the Yugambeh and Bundjalung Peoples of Australia”

“The director would like to thank ‘Casper’, Ragnarok’s own personal friendly ghost”

It had been a year since you’d written one of those notes and it caught you off guard. Tom put his arm around your shoulders, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I told you.”

You and Tom mingled amongst your friends at the after party. Taika was flying. He was so happy with how it turned out and grateful for such a positive response. Everyone in the cast was telling stories from filming and catching up with their friends. By the time you two got back to your hotel room, you were blissfully tipsy and exhausted. You slipped out of your dress and threw on a baggy t-shirt before washing your face and getting ready for bed. When you left the bathroom, you saw Tom sitting on the edge of the bed in his pajamas with a soft, warm smile gracing his beautiful face. He was wearing his glasses and his hair was a mess and he could not have been more attractive if he tried.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, pulling you to stand between his legs.

“Pretty good. How about yourself?” you put your arms around his neck and pressed your lips to his.

“I think there’s only one thing that could make me happier in this moment.” He answered.

You thought he was being a bit cheeky, so you replied with, “oh, yeah? I wonder what that could be.”

Tom reached behind him on the bed and pulled out a small box with a worn, green sticky note on top of it. He didn’t say anything, letting you read it. It was the same note he had left stuck to your laptop screen. “Darling, would you please be mine?” Only now the word “forever” was written at the bottom.

[wonlouvre]

more for forever | k. mg.

pairing: editor-in-chief mingyu x female reader genre: fluff, a little bit of angst, cliché (in the sense that mingyu is rich and likes to spoil his girlfriend) warnings: mentions of insecurity, food word count: 2.8k

💌: this is just pure indulgence and i really hope you all like this! please wait for wonwoo because i have something in store for him too ;) again, this is cliché please forgive me. please tell me what you think about it hehe i love reading your comments, feedbacks and tags! also a big thank you to @minkwans​ for sharing their ideas and giving this oneshot life! <3

The name Kim Mingyu didn’t ring a bell before. Not until his executive assistant reached out to you because apparently, the photographer slash writer read one of your blog posts and wanted you to take part for their sixth year anniversary issue. You know the famous magazine and publishing company, which is why you thought it was a scam or a ploy to steal your money. It’s a stupid assumption but you can’t blame your mind imagining the worse because you are not a fashion blogger at all. Why would a fashion magazine want you to write an article for them?

Sure, you regularly write and post blog entries on your website. But you write about your dog, your recently bought tea coaster and sometimes your skincare routine. Okay, maybe your occasional outfit of the day as well but nothing in detail. Again, why do they want you to write for them?

Kim Mingyu answered your questions and uncertainties when he personally emailed his contact details to you. You didn’t have to bite, but it didn’t hurt to confirm at the same time. You dialed the number and he indeed proved you wrong. He invited you for a meeting at his office and you accepted. 

Your visits to high-rise buildings, much more to the luxurious office of an executive, is rare to never. You were jaw slacked when your eyes took in the crisp architecture. The design, the furniture, the color, the everything was beyond what you could have imagined a publishing company’s headquarters could be. 

The meeting was nothing but short of an interview. He asked about your blog (which does not even have its own domain by the way), he asked what else you write about, he asked about your desk job (which doesn’t pay much but enough for you to get by), he asked if you have any background about fashion and one last question about your dog, Max, before talking about his proposal. 

To be honest, Mingyu’s offer was tempting. For one article, the commission would be enough for you to move out of your current apartment and move to a brand new and fully-furnished one. But you remained true to yourself and without thinking twice, you declined. 

You can tell that the editor-in-chief and his assistant, who stood beside him all throughout, was surprised by the looks on their faces. But Mingyu respected your decision and didn’t pursue any further. You took your stand from the chair and sincerely thanked him for the time and opportunity. You thought that would be it but when he followed suit with your actions and reached his hand out, it was your turn to be surprised. 

You didn’t hesitate to mirror him and shake his hand, firmly. After that, you’d figure that it’s the end and that you’ll probably get to see a glimpse of him only through your television or phone. But Mingyu proved you wrong once again when he sent an unexpected email three days later asking why.

What might be the reason why you didn’t accept his offer? 

You believed he deserved an explanation of your personal reasons so you disclosed them. And just like that the conversation on that email thread naturally progressed and eventually deepened. The professional emails became casual text messages, the text messages became phone calls, and the phone calls became actual face to face dates at late hours of the evening because he usually clocks out at 9 o’clock. 

The rest, as they say, was in the hands of history. 

Your first date with Mingyu was particularly odd. It was at a traditional Korean restaurant owned by one of his friends who introduced himself as Angel even though his real name is Jeonghan. You didn’t question him or anyone else why because that’s none of your business. But back to the date. It was odd because you have never been to a restaurant that’s completely empty and dead silent before (aside of course, from the typical music played in the background). You asked Mingyu if such an occurrence is normal and he just plainly answered that he rented the whole place all to yourselves. You have always known he’s rich. However, you didn’t believe that booking the whole restaurant was necessary.  

Nonetheless, that first date, in some way, was special for you because there were no distractions. You enjoyed his company and you can tell he enjoyed yours too because he’s quick to mention a second date and it didn’t take a heartbeat for you to say yes. 

But, by far, Mingyu inviting you to the behind the scenes of the making of the sixth anniversary issue that you turned down writing for is one of the most memorable dates the two of you had. It was out of the blue and you two were having difficulty in syncing your schedules. He was beginning to get busier and busier as the anniversary neared and the only way he could think of still making time for you is inviting you to his office. He called you and asked if you’re free to have lunch together. And you, being attracted to the handsome and tall man, didn’t hesitate to say yes. 

He was in the middle of ending his morning meeting when you arrived and you were almost caught off-guard when all eyes were suddenly on you, making you feel small. But Mingyu didn't care as his smile beamed, immediately standing up from his chair to walk towards you. The rest of his staff were still in the midst of walking out of his office when he grasped your hand to pull you inside and you have never felt so shy your whole life.

Since then, he made you tag along to the creative process and you witnessed how hands on he was with every article, every photo, every brand, every trend and every detail that goes to the magazine that he has built and loved with his blood, sweat and tears. He’s beyond dedicated in finding and doing what’s best for the magazine and most importantly, its loyal readers. 

You can tell that he really is deserving of everything that he has and is still receiving.

Mingyu being perfect also applies to your relationship. He’s always present despite being booked with fittings, meetings, photoshoots and business travels twenty-nine days of the month. He never fails to call, never fails to answer your calls. He never fails to offer the warmest hugs and the softest kisses. Well, he fails to be on time during your dates sometimes but he never once stood you up and his cuddles when he sleeps over are enough to apologize for the lost time.

The only flaw he has is that he doesn’t know how to take no for an answer. Most especially at times where he wants to shower his love in ways that cost more than your paycheck in a year.

Here are some examples:

You know that Mingyu pays attention to every word you say. Even if you just mentioned a passing topic, he will do his best to keep those in mind. With that being said, you mentioned once that you want to renovate the extra bedroom of your apartment and turn it into a study where you could work someday. Your boyfriend, being the rich man he is, offered to hire and pay a team that could help you bring the design you envisioned into life. 

That was during the first few months of your relationship and you were flabbergasted by how easy it was for him to do or much less say. Needless to say, you immediately turned him down and he respected that (but of course, he pouted about it like a child all throughout the day). 

But wait, there’s more. 

Do you remember how you mentioned that Mingyu travels frequently? Yes? Well, Mingyu always books an extra ticket for you just in case you want to join him. Sometimes it’s not even about the flight ticket anymore. It’s about him stopping by your apartment to pick you up unexpectedly as if France is only a drive away. 

It’s unbelievable, really. That’s why you always close the door on his face. But of course, you don’t forget to give him a long kiss and “stay safe” or “I’ll miss you” farewell. Mingyu, ever the good boy he is, lets you win and just return your kisses a little longer for the days he won’t be able to do so. 

Mingyu’s intentions are pure and you’re well aware that the man that you love is only doing this because it’s simple, he loves you. He wants what’s best for you, he wants to give you what you deserve. You can never blame him for being out of touch from reality at times, but you can learn and grow with him. Although of course, he still needs a scolding and a wake up call every now and then. 

Anything else? Yes.

You didn’t take into consideration that he’d remember, but one night while the two of you were about to fall asleep, you sleepily mumbled about your dreams of attending graduate school. It was a mere whisper in the late night against his chest and you even thought that he wouldn’t hear you at all because his eyes were already closed. You honestly didn’t expect that he’d send you brochures of different universities who offer various programs the following day. You had to calm him down as he excitedly talked you through it. You even had to shut him up with your lips and explain that you don’t have the time to study at the moment with your current job. He tried to encourage you with praises and admiration of your dedication, skills and knowledge. But no, you didn’t buy it and that’s the end of discussion. 

The gifts, however, are something that Mingyu is not giving up on. The first few instances he gave you gifts whether it be a high-end handbag, shoes, clothing, and even jewelry, you allowed him. Because there were only a few. But along the way, the gifts got bigger and more frequent. You had to sit him down to set limitations. It was a long conversation of him trying to get the upper hand. But you didn’t let him outsmart you with his hugs and kisses. It was either he was going to tone it down with the gifts or no gifts at all. 

Sometimes, as much as you hate to admit it to yourself, you can’t avoid getting insecure and afraid that the euphoric time you share with Mingyu is not meant to last. At some point, the fact that he's one of the youngest successful editor-in-chiefs of a multi-million earning magazine got overwhelming. You can’t help but feel that you’re no match for him. And again, you hate that your mind gets clouded with ideas that you’re just a charity case he enjoys spending his money on. Of course, you believe that he doesn’t look at you in that way.

It’s you who thinks so. 

“Hey.”

You release the bite on your bottom lip at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice. Your lost eyes shoot to the stove where he’s cooking and you notice that he’s about done so you should set the table. 

You didn’t even answer Mingyu’s call which concerns him. He wipes the sauce off his hands on the apron he’s wearing and holds your waist before you could even round the corner to the cabinets. 

His warmth snaps you out of your thoughts. Your eyes blink up to him and he just raises his eyebrows at you. 

“Is there something wrong?” He asks and lowers the heat of the conduction. 

“Nothing, nothing,” you lie, shaking your head, “Let me get the plates. I’m quite hungry.”

You try escaping his strong arms and gaze, but he doesn’t let you go. Instead, he wraps his arms around your waist tighter. Your palms automatically land on his chest and the lean muscles make you gulp. 

“I’m going to ask again and this time, I want you to tell me the truth,” he says in a serious yet gentle tone. “What’s wrong?”

You sigh and lean your forehead against his chest. Mingyu also sighs and kisses the top of your head. It’s better to tell him now because you’re not going to get anywhere if you’re just going to keep it to yourself. It will be unfair for him too and that’s not what you want. 

“I just don’t feel so good about myself over the past few days,” you finally voice out. You sound weak, but Mingyu can hear you loud and clear. “I feel like I don’t deserve you.”

Mingyu had to pull away and hold your shoulders to search your eyes, his frown showing disbelief and sadness both at the same time. “Did I do or say something to make you feel this way?”

“No, no,” you quickly say and hold his cheeks. “You did absolutely nothing. It’s just all in my head.”

Mingyu becomes silent and you wish you could just drop it because the regret and embarrassment is slowly dawning upon you. You wish you didn’t bring it up anymore because why would you burden him with your problems? 

But Mingyu proves you wrong once again by holding your hand and carefully tugging you to sit on the dining table, saying softly, “Come on. Let’s talk about it.”

And talk you did. You let out your concerns, worries, fears and insecurities. You bore it all without hiding or masking anything. A tear or two slipped once or twice and some words were interrupted by your hiccups, but Mingyu was patient. He listened and held your hand, promising you that it’s okay. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to be worried. It’s okay to be vulnerable in front of him. It’s okay to trust him because he loves you. 

Mingyu loves you and his words and actions assure you that it’s okay to love him too. 

When there were no more words left to say, the two of you shared a comfortable silence. The weight on your shoulders and the sick feeling in your stomach immediately vanished and you have never felt so relieved. You have never felt so free and loved. You can’t believe that Kim Mingyu is real. 

“I know that this is unwarranted,” Mingyu breaks the silence after a while, “but I want you to know that I don’t think of you in any of those ways. To me, you’re the person I love and I am happy with regardless of our different upbringings, different jobs. Those don’t matter to the time and love we share together.”

“I know,” you affirm and kiss his cheek. 

Mingyu nods and smiles against the palm of your hand when a memory suddenly pops in his mind. “I’m not sure if I have told you this already. But the blog entry of yours that caught my attention is about your first ever blog post.”

Your eyes widen at his confession. You have never heard of this before. “You mean the one where I talked about why I love writing so much?”

Your boyfriend smiles and nods. “That one.”

“Gosh. That’s so embarrassing,” you groan and palm your face. 

“What do you mean embarrassing?” He argues, taking your hand to hold again. “That post was one of the most genuine posts that I have ever read. You explained, word by word, your passion, love and dedication to writing in the most honest way possible. Who wouldn’t be moved?”

You pout and unbeknownst to you, that makes his heart squeeze in adoration. 

“It’s not that special,” you mumble, eyes on your intertwined hands. 

“It is to me though.”

Mingyu’s eyes are dreamy and glossy as you meet them again and you could never be more in love. He holds your arms, coaxing you to stand up to straddle his lap. You giggle when he protectively wraps his arms around your waist. His nose scrunches when it grazes yours, but upon meeting his lips you feel it exhale a breath of relief.

You kissed and kissed and kissed. But when Max barks at the two of you, reminding you of the dinner you’re supposed to eat and share with him, the two of you burst into laughter before reluctantly detaching from each other. 

“You doting over me with material things is a perk,” you humor him and he gives you his signature giggle. “But, I wouldn’t trade sharing the same bed, cooking meals or taking care of Max together over any of those.” 

Mingyu nods gives you one last yet long kiss, a promise that there’s more for later. 

More for forever. 

---

a/n 2: this was supposed to be the header/poster of this story but it was too big lol

[immasock]

Hello! I have a request if it’s alright-

How would the brothers (and maybe dateables if possible) about an MC who jumps around from one thing to another at a very fast pace? (For example, they might be completely obsessed with one movie, book, or hobby for about a week or less and quickly move onto another thing and completely forget about the last thing they were interested in) I do this myself and I know I get rather annoyed with myself ^^’’ It’s likely a short attention span thing!

Hope that makes sense! Sometimes I’m terrible at explaining this,,,

Of course it’s alright! I do this all the time

I hope you like it!

The boys (+Dateables) reacting to an MC who has a short attention span

Lucifer:

MC please, for the love of Diavolo, sit down-

Not even gonna lie, it stresses him out

However

He has a huge soft spot for you

Like

HUGE

Obviously

So if you want to talk about whatever your recent interest/ hyper fixation is to him, he will be more than happy to listen

As the future kings right hand man who has 6 rowdy brothers and a lot of work, he cherishes those quiet moments where he can just listen to a record and focus on his work

So he doesn’t really understand why you do this

But, like I said before

He loves you

So he will be super supportive about whatever it is you’re into this week

Mammon:

Honestly

He probably does the same thing

I mean he’s always thinking up new schemes to get money

Such as making plushies like in that one Devilgram story

So he understands it

And he will be more than happy to buy you whatever you need for your new interest

Not without acting like he doesn’t actually want to first of course

But that’s just how he is and you know better

Sugar Daddy Mammon coming in clutch

Really as long as you’re happy then mammon would buy you anything you wanted for your newest interest

Anything to see the smile on your face

Levi:

Are you kidding?

This man definitely does the exact same thing

All the time

100%

I am like 98% sure that it’s cannon

That being said he would most definitely let you talk to him about whatever it is you’re into this week

If you ask real nicely you might even get him to try out whatever it is

Be warned tho

He will definitely start talking to you about his after you’re done

But hey

Date night idea

You guys just trying each other’s current hyperfixations

Satan:

If I’m being honest he probably started doing research on whatever your new hyperfixation is the second you left

He might not understand whatever it is that you’re into now

But dammit is he going to try

If there are books on it he has them

He might even read them to you

I feel like he would also be one who would be open to trying it out with you

You’re really into a book? He’ll read it with you even if he’s read it before

He would even stay up late talking to you about the book afterwards

You’re really into a game? He’s more of a sit down and curl up with a cat and a book type of guy but that can wait until after he plays whatever game you like with you

You’ve started to hone your inner artist? He’s treasuring everything you make

All in all he is super supportive

Asmo:

As long as it doesn’t mess up his skin then he’s happy that you’re happy

Just don’t stay up late with whatever it is

Please MC it’s bad for your skin

You can pull off anything but eye bags aren’t a good look on anyone

He wouldn’t participate but he would definitely let you come to his room while he’s scrolling through Devilgram or doing his night/morning routine to rant about it

As long as you’re having fun dear

Beel:

MC please, for the love of diavolo, sit down- part 2

Poor baby doesn’t understand why you’re always going from one thing to the next but he’s gonna be the most supportive demon you’ve ever met

This man has made himself the head of the unofficial MC protection squad and so he’s always trying to make sure that you’re not doing anything to hurt yourself

So with you always running around

Stressed guard dog Beel activated

Most of the time it’s fine

Just please don’t do anything that could be potentially dangerous he begs of you

However he is also definitely one that would gladly let you rant to him about what you’re into that week

10/10

Supportive himbo baby

Belphie:

MC please just come to bed

He wants his cuddle buddy back and he can’t sleep as well without you

Belphie wouldn’t be involved with whatever your new hyperfixation but if it means that you’ll spend time with him then he will gladly sit next to you while you’re doing your thing

Might even try and lay in your lap while doing it

You can even tell him about whatever it is

No promises he won’t fall asleep while you’re talking tho

You just have such a soothing voice and your lap is so comfy-

You better take breaks to give him attention tho

Mans is a huge brat when he doesn’t get what he wants

And what he wants is your love

Dia:

This man is such a puppy dog

He would just be so excited that you’re there

And now you’re telling him about things you’re interested in?

He loves learning about your interests

He really just loves learning about you in general

You best believe that he will fund every single one of your hyperfixations

No you don’t have a say in the matter

He’s just so happy he finally has someone

Especially someone as amazing as you

So he wants to make you as happy as possible

And if that means putting off his work so you can show him your hyperfixation then so be it

Hell he would love to join in

Barb wouldn’t be too happy but he can’t do anything

No one dares to disturb him when he’s spending time with his favorite person

Barbatos:

I believe he’s another “as long as you’re happy” type of guy

Honestly this man is also super busy so he probably isn’t involved either

Of course he would be more than happy to listen to you if you wanted to come over and talk to him as he gets the palace chores done but that’s about all he can do

I mean

If you’re really into cooking then he would invite you over to cook with him or if it’s art he would hang it up in the kitchen or his room

If it’s a book he might buy it but he probably doesn’t have enough time to read it

He’s just trying to be as supportive as he can with his schedule

Solomon:

I don’t know how but he would find a way to involve magic

Somehow

He’s just like that I guess

If you were talking to him about it then he would be asking tons of questions

Like Satan he would try and learn as much about it as he can

Really he would just be overjoyed that you were talking to him of all people about it

I like to think that he used to do this before his accident

He’s just been around for so long that he’s learned to slow down

Simeon:

He doesn’t understand what’s happening but he’s just happy to be here ngl

He would be checking up on you constantly

Making sure that you’re not skipping meals and that you’re sleeping

He would ask you tons of questions too

He would try so hard to understand

Really he’s just trying his best here

Supportive dad friend/ boyfriend

[staygolddindjarin]

Grief

Chapter One: History

Din Djarin x Reader x a bunch of other star wars characters

Series Summary: Raised on Mandalore, born into a bloodline of warriors, no one ever expected for the daughter of a Clan leader to go rogue. Leaving the life of security and making the journey to fight in the war against the empire meant many things... giving up the way of the Mandalore, and giving up a solid future. A future that involves an arranged marriage to a foundling from another clan.

Chapter Warnings: Oof this ones kinda angsty right off the bat- ⚠️ attempted suicide?? Kinda?? Age gap (reader is underage, but don't worry it's just for the sake of backstory and also there's no spicy, so...) mentions of death and afterlife, fluff if you like squint really hard

A/n: hello there... I'm sorry to inflict tumblr with this atrocity, but wattpad had to deal with it so tumblr can too. I wrote a different version of this on my wp with an OC name, but I know that not everyone cares for that so this won't include that. Also this series will be such a slow burn... prepare yourself ahead of time because it's going to be agonizing

Words: 6.3k+

SERIES MASTERLIST UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Part 1/?

"Pehea gar mar'eyir ni...."

How did you find me....

He came and sat beside me, the sound of metal scraping agaisnt the ground when he knelt first.

"Gar cuyir te shi solus tion'ad comes olar jii.  Ni kar'taylir gar jate'shya gar mirdir Ni vaabir," He responded.

You are the only one who comes here now. I know you better than you think I do.

I heaved a deep breath before letting it out in an exhausted sigh. Speaking in my native tongue was something I always appreciated, but now sitting here it felt nearly uncomfortable, but there was a reason for that.

"I wanted to be alone," The words from my mouth were no longer in my language, and he shifted beside me, trying to convey his confusion without a word.

"Care to elaborate?" He suggested, his asking tone was harsh... but then so was everything else about him.

I didn't really feel like explaning my feelings at the moment. I didn't want to focus on the very thing he was asking about. Even though he wasn't absolutely sure of what he was asking.

"You wouldn't understand if I told you," I trailed off.

"Try me." His voice wasn't any softer, but the sincerity he rarely showed had seeped into his tone.

"I really don't think it's a good idea. You really won't understand, and for all I know you could make things worse off for me than they already are," I didn't like it when he let his guard down around me. I didn't like getting closer to him, even though I was supposed to.

"I can't force you. Whatever it is, I wouldn't get myself too worked up," He sounded hurt, but I couldn't bring myself to believe it was by my words. He was too strong to be wounded by such trivial things.

He moved in his seat, beginning to stand, and for some reason the thought of being alone like I had originally intended seemed like a horrible idea.

I reached out to grip his arm. I kept my gaze forward, knowing that even if I looked at him I could not see his eyes.

"Stay."

He didn't hesitate. He sat down again, and I no longer felt guilt for the hurt in his voice a moment prior.

We sat for a moment in silence, just looking over the cliffside, into the deep canyons that wove in between settlements and encampments of our tribes and clans.

"I don't want this life," I whispered. I had only half hoped he would be paying enough attention to hear me. My voice was soft enough that he might not have.

"What do you mean?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, regretting the choice to even say what I did. I felt a shiver go down my arms, and I felt the wind come into the old open cavern, making the air around me chill. My arms were exposed, for I didn't expect the cold tonight. I didn't expect to be here this long.

"I'll turn sixteen in four days. I will either take the creed, or deny everything I've ever been taught. I'd leave if I do that," I finally gave a glance in his direction. He looked back at me, or at least the beskar did. I could never tell where his eyes were.

"You want to leave?" That pained tone of his voice had returned. The one I felt guilty for without actually believing I had done anything to cause it.

I did. I wanted to get off this planet. Away from the responsibility of becoming what everyone expected of me.

"I have to. It's the only way I will ever be at peace, but I'm not sure if I truly have the strength to stand in front of my family and deny the creed."

I could run away. I had some friends who were planning to jump a transport and join the rebellion against the empire.

They had offered me to be apart of this, but I had refused, believing that I would follow in my ancestors footsteps and take the creed. My father had already provided the beskar for my helmet to be made. It was already in the armourer's possession. All that was left was for me to come of age.

"Where did you go, just now?" He noticed my lack of attentiveness to my current reality, and brought me back to where I was. On the drafty cliffside, with my legs hanging over the end.

"Nowhere. I was just thinking about the future," I had admitted. Though I felt the need to stay emotionally distant from him, and not let myself develop a closeness, I knew I could trust him with my life, which is why I even revealed these things to him in the first place.

"What do you think your future will look like?" The tone that brought me guilt had again left his voice, but was replaced by something else... was it fear? I could not even think of theorizing that he could ever be scared. He was one of the bravest in his clan. Never had he shown an ounce of fear to anyone or anything. How stupid of me to even wonder.

"Merc and his crew are gonna stow away on a crate transport tomorrow. He has contact with the rebellion. He said that I could go with them if I was up for it," I looked down, almost embarrassed at admitting a plan of escape to someone so loyal to this place. Even though he wasn't born on this planet, and even though he wasn't a blood member of any tribe, the foundling was more of a mandalorian than I could ever be.

"You've agreed?"

"No. Not yet," I shook my head. I didn't feel like my reasons were valid. Having him sit beside me, and ask me these things made me realize that I needed to explain myself further.

"Din, I want to be free. I don't want to spend the rest of my life under a code that is so restricting to me, binding my every decision. Everything I'd do would have to be following after the creed."

He didn't respond, and even though his features were shrouded under the reflective surface of his beskar, I could tell he was thinking of something.

"I'm not yet sixteen, but when I am... I don't want to be locked down under a piece of metal. I don't want to have to be bound to this planet or a clan. I want to go some place far away and be something that is different than what everyone expects of me. I want to fight battles against the empire, I want to make my own rules. I want to be free to marry who I love, and not be betrothed to whoever my father chooses for me," I finished off my speech about freedom, but realized the last sentence too late. I should have chosen a better set of words.

Din's head hung down, looking at the wrist guards he wore. He shook his head back and forth and before I could interject, he began speaking.

"So that's why...." he trailed off. I was honestly too scared to say anything now. Why must I speak so bluntly and hurtfully honest to people? Perhaps it is because I had never gotten close to him that now I had no fear in what I said to his face.

"If the reason you plan to leave your family is because of me, then-"

"No," I said harshly, catching him off guard. I was usually snippy with others, but I had never before shown a tendency to be angry or intense with my speech. "Believe me, this has nothing to do with you."

"You have always shown enthusiasm towards coming of age. It's only now, when we are arranged, that you show any difference," He brought on certainty in his voice that I nearly couldn't deny, but the truth was... it really wasn't about him. "I can converse with your father, the rest of the clan... I will find a way to break it off if it will make you stay."

"Din, I don't want you to do that. If you don't believe me when I tell you that you are not the cause of this, then so be it, but I will not have you ruining your good name in my favor, when it won't even stop me," The heat of the moment provided actual, physical warmth for me in the time I was running my mouth off, but now that I had finished, and begun to calm down, I felt the freezing air on my arms again, wrapping them around myself and drawing my legs closer to generate more body heat.

"Are you cold?" He changed the subject, needing something- anything else to say.

"Its not exactly warm up here," My voice was low and sarcastic, but at hearing my words, Din stood up and stepped behind me. Before I even had a chance to ask him what he was doing, I felt his thick woolen cape being draped around my shoulders.

I smiled softly, not even a real, full smile. More of just a small tug from the side of my lips. My real smile was saved for later.

"Thank you."

He nodded as he sat back down, letting his legs fall over the cliffside.

"So you're gonna leave with them, aren't you?" His head turned to face me, but I couldn't dare try and stare at the beskar while thinking of what I would do. This choice was the beginning of the rest of my life.

"I think so," I didn't think. Thinking was what I had been doing too much of. Now I was certain. This was my choice. I was going to start new, and become something different. I may have been born on mandalore, but I was definitely not a mandalorian.

I had a rush of confidence come through me until I remembered what this meant. It all hit me like a dropship coming out of hyperspace. What was I thinking?

"No," I whispered. Din didn't understand my sudden discouragement, but he would soon.

"Merc and his friends already denied the creed. He's a foundling. They all are," I started to tear up as I realized what would happen to my family. The loss of a child in a clan is bad enough, but my family hadn't done anything to dessrve this. They were caring. They had shown me love. They had given me the best life I could ask for on a planet with such a religion.

"Second thoughts?" He asked genuinely, scooting closer beside me as to maybe get more information from my body language, or even my breathing.

"I can't do this. My family would be ruined. If I ran away, they would be punished for it," I felt tears coming up in my eyes. My clan was good to me. The people were kind, and I found solace there. Even if I had always dreamt about something bigger, I couldn't bear to let ruin come upon my family name. It wasn't fair to let that happen, especially when the only thing in the way was my own selfishness. "I can't leave my family."

I let the tears stream down my face, not even bothering to wipe them away. The contrast of the cold wind on my hot, tear streaked face had helped to calm me down a little.

"If you plan on staying, you understand that I am apart of your future here, don't you?"

"Din, I already told you before... you are not the reason I want to leave," I tried my best to keep myself together, but with my wet cheeks and red, puffy eyes, I didn't see how that could be an option.

What if there was another way to freedom?

I sat, trying to think of some stories that the other clan members would talk about.

"Din?"

He hummed in response, keeping his gaze on me.

"Has anyone in your clan ever mentioned afterlife?" I maybe should have taken a different approach to this. He seemed to be rendered speechless by my topic of conversation, but I had to ask.

"You mean after death?" He asked me and I nodded.

"I've heard some stories."

I thought about how it had been described to me. A paradise, with never-ending happiness, and unlimted freedom. Freedom.

"After you die, you appear in the world as another life. You can do whatever you want and no one has consequences for any of it. It's like a world without chaos. Everything is perfect," I remember every word as it comes out of my mouth. The words that were spoken to me, more like taught to me when I was a bit younger by the elders who had retired from their days of battle.

"It sounds too easy." He said, ripping me out of my fantasy.

"That's the point. You don't have to worry about anything or anyone, because you can do as you please, and everything will still be the same. All you have to do is die...."

"Like being reborn into a different world."

"Exactly."

I hesitated to take my safety blaster from it's holster under my hip, and when I did, I looked at it before pointing it out in the distance and testing the trigger. It shot a blast of lazer energy out into the air, landing somewhere beneath us in the canyon.

I decided that this was not an act to pursue at the moment, for Din was sitting right beside me, and the sight of watching a young girl pull the trigger against her own head might be an unpleasant one. Even for him, though he has seen worse.

I put the blaster back in it's holster and stand up from the rocky ground. Din follows suit, looking down at me with quiet concern. I wouldn't have known it until now, but I wondered if he had come to care for me at all during these last few weeks we had been betrothed.

I'd known him the majority of my life anyways, so I knew he must have felt some sort of attachment to me, but in what form, I hadn't ever cared to ask.

He kept breathing heavily as he looked down at me for a few moments, and it almost sounded like he wanted to ask me something. The question was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't bring himself to utter the words.

"Here's your cape back," I slid the material off my shoulders, trying to hand it back to him, but he pushed it back towards me.

"You should keep it for now. The sun is nearly down, it will only grow colder."

He reached his gloved hand up to my face, and I could swear I felt the warmth of his hand beneath the coarse leather.

I only nodded, and leaned forward, trying to lean my head into him, but he carefully stopped me, his hands on my shoulders. Instead he rested his helmet against my forhead, and the cold beskar wasn't such a bad feeling as it rested there.

"I won't let you down. I promise." He said, clueless of my plans for later tonight, after the tribes were asleep, and no one would be at the cliffside.

"I know you won't. You're a good man, Din Djarin." I paused, trying to gather better words. "A true Mandalorian if there ever was one."

The moment didn't last any longer because of how frigid the air was becoming. It was warmer back with the tribes, they always had a fire burning.

Without another word, we both left the old artillery cavern and hiked down the side of the canyon to get back to our own clan territory.

Once I was at the edge of mine, I turned around to utter a simple goodbye, and found that he was very close behind me. His hand came up and rested on my shoulder, lightly squeezing it.

Maybe this was the last time we would see each other. Tonight I would envoke my plan to freedom, to rebirth. Perhaps we would meet in another life. Perhaps I would have just enough memory of this life to try and find him in the next one. One where I will have freedom.

Tonight I had gotten closer to the metal clad Mandalorian than I ever had before. I didn't regret it. He listened to what I had to say, and there were few who ever did.

His hand fell from it's place on my shoulder, but I didn't let him walk away yet. I pulled him into an embrace, feeling him tense up for a moment before reciprocating. It took him a few seconds to let out the breath he was holding in, but when he did, he found himself relaxing into the comfort.

"Goodbye, Din," My voice wasn't sad, or overly sensitive in any way. I figured it actually sounded quite optimistic.

"You know I'll see you tomorrow." He said, reminding me of the clan meetings. Once a month the clans would gather and each tribe would go over the agenda for whatever was to happen soon. Battles were normally discussed, but tomorrow, me and a few of the others in the other clans would be talked about. Our ceremonial coming of age where we would take the creed.

"Yeah... right. Don't come looking for me, I don't plan on showing up," I said quietly, careful in anyone was to hear me.

He pulled me back at arms length and looked at me, but his black blast shield hid his features and I could not tell if he thought I was crazy or not.

"How come?" His voice was also quiet, as we noticed some of my clan passing by to get to the fire.

"Don't worry about it. You'll still see me tomorrow," I lied. Or did I? Everyone within the five neighboring tribes would probably see me tomorrow.

He nodded, pulling us all the way apart and stepping back.

"Good."

He didn't look like he was gonna walk away until I had gone into the hub of my clan's small village. I turned around and walked towards the large fire, seeing my mother. Her helmet was unmistakable. The pattern of the strill engraved into the side of the beskar. It was her signet. A worthy kill of her days in battle. I would never have one. I walked towards her when she noticed me.

Her modulated voice let out a small chuckle, before I stepped beside her.

"It is well to see you spending time with Din Djarin. Me and your father were afraid you may not have been fond of him," She kept her gaze on the fire, speaking only loud enough for me to hear her, given that the other mandalorians of our village were also gathering around the fire, conversing with each other the same way we were.

"I am fond of him, why would I not be?" I was unsure of what she meant. Sure, I had been keeping a distance between us since my father had arranged our marriage, but I never had shown that I wasn't fond of him. I was polite, and gave him attention when it was asked of me.

"Whenever I or your father bring up the discussion of your eighteenth birthday, you always seem to act like it's the plague," She was smirking under her helmet, and I could tell. I could always tell what face she made underneath her metal covering.

"Maybe it's the fact that I dread getting married at all. I'm not opposed to Din, though," I convinced her. I wouldn't have to try and do that again after tonight.

"Whatever it is, your father will be pleased to know you and him were in each other's company. Although I will stray from telling him you two were alone... you were alone, weren't you?" She turned her metal covered head, trying to figure out from the look on my face.

"Yes," I answered truthfully, knowing there was no point in lying. No damage could be done at this point, except for maybe towards Din.

"And what were you both doing?" She tilted her head, and I let mine drop. I would tell her the truth, because nothing bad could come from it. Or could it.

"We were just talking... about the future," I answered.

"Your marriage..." She suggested, and I nodded, knowing that it did come up in the conversation.

"Yes."

"I shudder to ask if consummating was apart of this conversation," She looked back at the fire, knowing how red my cheeks would turn and how embarrassed I would be.

"No, nothing like that. I can promise you," I shivered at the thought. Din was a good man, but I didn't necessarily need to be letting thoughts like that intrude my mind.

Everyone else around the fire seemed to be distracted by the glowing flames, and my mother was soon the same, so I suggested my absense.

"I'm going to go in for the night, get some rest. Big meeting tomorrow..." I said before reaching out and squeezing her hand tightly.

She nodded to me, and I took my leave, walking towards our living quarters on the opposite side of camp.

I wasn't looking where I was going, and brushed my shoulder against Merc, who was with Gander and Shyloh.

"Sorry, didn't see you coming," I told him, but he shook his head, optiing ti ask me a question instead.

"Don't worry about it, I was looking for you anyway... Did you think about the offer? We leave at sunrise on the north delivery tarmac," He informed me, but I didn't have an answer. I wasn't staying here, but I wasn't leaving either.

"You'll know if I show up," I gave him a smirk, partially just because I was glad to see someone's actual face tonight, and not just a metal facade.

"We can't wait up for you, just know that."

I nodded, letting them get by. Maybe I could go with them. Live this life freely without starting another one.

No.

My family will not be able to handle that. It's better off if I'm dead. At least they won't go on to believe that I betrayed them, turning my back on all loyalty they had ever taught me. They would nevwr wonder if I ever loved them or planned on keeping their wishes.

I could start fresh. They wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. And I wouldn't have to worry anymore either. Rebirth.

I went straight to bed, clutching the woolen blanket beside me close to my chest.

For some reason I felt a pang of guilt in my chest. Something that made the sting of salty tears swell in my eyes. I knew that what I was doing was best, but yet I started having a hard time justifying something so drastic. They would get on fine without me, wouldn't they? They would go on living by the creed. This is the way. They will find a way to go on without me, like they did before I was born. Din will be arranged with another girl as soon as I'm gone. Everything will be alright.

The wetness that spilled over my eyes and down my face lasted hours, even though my mind kept telling itself that it was at peace.

It was in the dead of night, when I gathered a few of my belongings into a knapsack, throwing it over my shoulder before leaving out the tattered window of my private space.

I ventured to the canyon, with the moons lighting my way. The planet was never truly dark, due to the brightness and the number of shinning moons, all the color silver.

I set my knapsack down on the edge beside me. By the end of this, I would be at the bottom, waiting to be found the next day. I just hoped it wouldn't be anyone I knew. Of course, the number of people who ever came out here was only two. Me, and Din Djarin.

I hoped he wouldn't find me. I hoped it would be someone from another tribe that was flying over, and happened to spot something at the base of the cliffside.

I pulled my flask to my mouth, taking a large drink. A bit spilled onto my chin, and I wiped it off, feeling the breeze on my face. It was much colder now than earlier tonight. I wasn't sure if I should pull the blanket from my belongings and wrap it around myself, or skip the process of making myself comfortable and just get this over with.

I leaned over, looking straight at the ground, hundreds of feet below me. My heart started racing, and I got scared. Why shouldn't I be? I have every right to be absolutely terrified. I closed my eyes, trying to scoot myself over the edge inch by inch, seeing if I would just drop.

I nearly panicked when my bottom hit a crack in the ground and I thought I was going over. My breath hitched in my throat and I instantly pulled myself back.

"This isn't as easy as I thought it would be," I murmered, beginning to feel the emotional side of everything rise to the surface again. It didn't help that with the absolute silence that circled around me, I couldn't have any single thing to distract me.

I stood to my feet, wrapping my arms around myself to ease the goosebumps rising on my skin from the frigid air.

I stood right on the edge, lifting a foot over and leaning forward, but before I could fall, I again caught myself, the adrenaline working overtime in my system and beginning to heat me up.

That wasn't going to work either. If I could, I would put a blaster to my temple and pull the trigger, but then it wouldn't look like an accident.

I paced around back and forth a few times, trying to calm myself down, to stop the whimpering and to make my tears cease. It wasn't working. I just needed to get this over and done with. A new life, with endless possibilities was waiting for me on the other side. Freedom was on the other side.

I wiped my face, even though it didn't stop me from crying, but it helped me to see clearer. I backed up, into the cavern, all the way inside until my back hit the wall of the ex artillery carvern. This was it. A new beginning. Rebirth. New life. Freedom.

I ran as fast as I could toward the edge, my eyes closed. I could feel the wind blowing against me even harder with my speed, and I could tell the edge was drawing near. Every step I took, I felt as though it was my last one.

I finally felt my foot hit the edge, but then I never fell. Instead, I was tackled to the ground. Whoever landed on top of me was heavy enough to hold me down, because half of me was hanging off the edge of the cliff.

I didn't dare even open my eyes. This was a sign. Someone stopped me.

I clinged onto whoever it was, and knew almost instantly who was laid over me when I heard him groan.

I cried even harder, my head buried in his armor clad chest, and my arms around his neck and his torso.

He was holding me tightly, one hand cradled my head into his neck, and the other firmly gripped my waist. He rolled us both over and I swear I felt him shaking.

"What were you thinking?" He stressed, his grip on me tightening as if he was scared to let go. I was scared too. I didn't want him to let go.

"You have to talk to me..."

I heaved a deep breath, deep enough to steady my voice so my whimpering didn't interfere with my words.

"I want out. I need to get out," I cracked in the middle of saying so few words, but they conveyed the message I was trying to get through.

"I can get you out, I promise.... But please don't ever try that again," His voice was full of worry, and as I suspected, he was trembling in fear.

"I'm sorry..." I cried some more, realizing that what I had done was now the biggest mistake I ever made, even if I was saved.

"It's okay. You're okay. I've got you," He spoke to me, my voice quieting down as my sobbing came to a slow halt.

I lifted my face from where I had burrowed it into his neck, looking up at him. I didn't know what his expression was, but something told me it was fearful, and worrysome.

"I have to get out of here," I repeated again. The last day or so it became my mantra, and would leave my lips often, even just to myself. Mostly just to myself.

"You're going to. You're going with Merc... when are they leaving?" He asked, his arms still around me like mine were for him.

"At sunrise. They're gonna jump a delivery ship on the north tarmac," I explained, my voice was now hoarse and thick, due to not only all the crying I had done, but also the cold night air that had entered my lungs.

"Sunrise isn't for a few hours..." he let me know, and I nodded, knowing we shouldn't probably leave yet, for the walk to the north tarmac wasn't very long from here.

"Din, if I leave, my family is going to get the fire for my decision. I can't let that happen," I told him, my voice had become more firm, and I needed to convey the importance of how much this meant to me.

"I give you my word, that as long as I live, nothing will happen to your family," He swore, and I could just feel his eyes staring into mine. So much so that for the first time since he put that helmet on, I knew where his eyes were.

"I trust you. And I know that you'll always keep your word," I nodded, a small smile finally forming on my face.

Since it got fairly quiet, and we were still entangled together,  I scooted off of Din and opted instead to take the seat beside him.

"I should tell you some things before I go. I just don't want to leave anything unresolved," I admitted, and he stayed silent, waiting for me to continue.

"I know this might sound horrible, but I hated the idea of getting too close to you. It was like if I had formed an emotional bond with you, I wouldn't be able to leave anymore. And the last thing on my mind had been to stay. I've wanted freedom for a while now, I was just always too scared to say anything. And when my father told me that you and him had come to an agreement for arranging a marriage.... it's like it all became more real to me. My freedom would be taken in just days. The creed of mandalore is sacred, and it's truly an amazing thing... but it isn't for everyone."

He sat and took everything in. All the words that just spewed from my mouth like I had been holding them in for ages went against everything I had ever learned. Everything that had ever been put into my mind was the opposite of what I wanted.

"You're young. You want more than what the creed can offer you. I think you'll be able to find what you want wherever you're going," He said, I knew there was more, for he didn't even mention anything that I had said about not wanting to be close to him, but when he stayed silent, I knew he was finished, and that I still had more to say.

"Din, I wanted to tell you that if I had to be married, I wouldn't have minded it being you," I admitted. I would leave no stone unturned before I was to just pick up and leave forever... maybe not forever, maybe someday I would return to my family, to Din.

"I can't say I don't feel the same," He seemed to become stiff next to me, but I soon found the reason when he suddenly reached for my hand with his gloved one.

I took it proudly, intertwining our finhers together.

"You know, I was only an eight year old kid when you took the creed. I have so many memories of you yourself, but whenever I recall them... I can't see your face. I've completely forgotten what you look like," I laughed a bit, though it was quite a sad thing actually. I could not remember him in a way that wasn't covered in metal. I remembered that he was a boy once, and that he would play with all the younger children in the clan set next to his. He played with me and the kids I lived next to. He was a lively, energetic boy. Always doing something... sometimes causing mischievous acts. He was so different now. But the change wasn't bad. Since he'd taken the creed he has been the most noble, fearsome, and trustworthy member of his clan. Completely honorable in every sense of the word.

"I don't look like I used to. It wouldn't do you any good to remember anyways," He chuckled under his helmet, and it brought a smile to hear the melodic sound.

"Well, if I'd stayed long enough to marry you I would find out for myself," I leaned my head on his shoulder, feeling comfort by his presence. If I had made the absolute decision to leave this planet earlier, I could have let myself grow a relationship with him. Romantic or not, he was easy to talk to, and I trusted him. He was a friend to me, and I never imagined more, but now his presence was just something that put me at such ease.

"Do you think you'll ever come back?" He pondered, seeing as just the tiniest moonrays shown down into the canyon ahead.

"Someday. I'll comeback and repay you."

"For what?"

"Saving my life," I replied. My attempt to throw my own life away had been pushed away but I had to bring it up. I owed him my life.

"Anyone would have done the same if they had seen," He insisted, and I shook my head.

"How did you even know I was out here?" My curiosity got the better of me, and I asked for an explanation.

"I couldn't sleep, I took a walk through Ronion until I found myself here. I saw you across from the mesa on the south side... I saw you lift your foot over the edge, I knew what you were trying to do," He said, his grip on my hand got tighter almost instantly.

"Thank you. If you hadn't been there, I would be at the bottm of this canyon." I let so much seriousness onto my voice, and it didn't sound like me.

"Don't thank me yet... not until I get you on the tarmac,"

We sat in silence after that, just looking out over the horizon. When the slightest bit of light hit the edge of the planet, we stood to our feet, gathering my knapsack and begining the journey to the north delivery tarmac.

We were there in no time, and before I could even look for them, Merc and his crew were in sight. They were all sitting with their backs against some cargo imports, waiting for the transport to arrive.

"Well, well, well... look at what the shriek hawk dragged in," Shyloh said, gesturing to me and Din.

"Djarin, I didn't expect to see you here," Merc raised an eyebrow at the sight.

"I'm just here to make sure she gets onto the transport safely," He assured them. I looked out of the corner of my eye, and in the brighter horizon I was able to see a cargo ship coming into the landing area.

"Our rides here," I said, and they all jumped up. Since the ships were automatically run, and don't even require droids, it was often very easy to hop aboard and be carried to another destination. Of course, there were only a few who ever wanted to leave.

I myself hadn't ever left Mandalore, neither had I traveled much even on the planet. Only a few trips to visit the the markets with my father. I never even went into the city, for it was told that in the city lived Mandalorians who did not keep the creed. The tribes were convinced that they hadn't actually ever taken the oath, and just wore the armor for the sake of doing it.

The ship's doors opened, pulling me out of my thoughts, and a conveyer belt folded down to let the cargo units be carried out onto the tarmac for later pickup.

"Alright, it's time to head out," Gander said, slinging his knapsack over his shoulder and boarding the transport.

The rest followed after him, but I still had one thing left to do. 

Din looked at me, waiting for me to join the others, but I came close to him one last time.

"You promise my family will be taken care of?" I asked, to which he simply answered with a firm nod. However the look on my face gave him reason to believe that his answer wasn't good enough, so he spoke instead.

"I give you my word. If they are not taken care of, I will let you strike me dead where I stand."

That was good enough for me. He truly meant it. He was a man of his word.

I pulled his head toward mine, resting ny forehead against his in a traditional mandalorian kiss. I pulled back when I heard my name being called from the transport.

"Goodbye, Din Djarin," I told him.

He didn't respond, he just let me go, watching intently as I boarded the ship before the doors closed.

The cargo transports were always on schedule, so as soon as the doors closed, it began lifting into the air. I looked out through the transparent view finder on the side, watching him stand as we began moving out of sight.

"You gonna miss him?" Shyloh asked, his brows furrowing as if he were sorry for me.

"Yes, I suppose I will."

I lost sight of Din, and realized we were leaving the atmosphere most likely preparing for a jump to hyperspace.

"But I'll see him again."

.

.

Tags are open ig...

A/n: please don't get too caught up in the age gap y'all it's just for backstory purposes because this story is eventually going to follow canon events.... (also i know that this doesn't really portray Mandalore correctly, but let's pretend it does because i had this idea)

[spookysquish13]

First time knife play with JJ Maybank

First time knife play with JJ Maybank

*Author note: I got locked out of my old account (spookysquishsworld) and am reposting all of my old writings

This morning there was a tiktok video going around where Rudy was playing with a knife. It brought something out of me, and i know everyone wants more JJ smut. So here yall go. I hope you like it.

ALSO if anyone has tips on how to format more easily, i write on a different app and then paste it into the text box… ??

TRIGGER WARNING HARD CORE. KNIFE PLAY. THIS COULD BE TRIGGERING TO SOME. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED BY BLADES OR KNIVES. WARNING: Knife, blood, blindfold, choking, fingering,

JJ was sitting in the little cabin of the steering wheel of the boat, groaning that he was bored, leaning his head back against the wall. He takes out one of the fishing blades packed on the boat. He takes the blade out of its canvas sleeve, in a place that you could have sworn was slow motion. You are watching him through the back window of the cabin. Watching him take out the knife, you feel your eyes grow in size. Gulping quietly so you could continue enjoing the show started feeling your core grow hotter. JJ starts tossing the blade up into the air trying to catch it. The danger of him potentially getting hurt grew an excitement deep inside of you. You didnt know what this was. Why the sight of the blade excited you to your core. What would it feel like? Would it be cold? What would it feel like to give JJ all of that control. You knew he would never do a thing to hurt someone else unless provoked. You swallow hard trying to keep your hand out of your shorts. The others close by. Now JJ is starting to twirl the blade between his fingers. His face twisting with concentration, making his dimples come out. You could see one of his brows furrow. With the rings on his fingers, and the knife moving swiftly could have made you cum from the sight. JJ felt someone watching. He looked over his shoulder, still twisting the blade. You both made eye contact. JJ giving you a sexy smirk, his eyes growing a deep blue. You moved away quickly from the window and plastered your back to the wall aside the window. Trying to catch your breath from the sight of the sun kissed blonde with a shiny knife. —————– All of you have now returned from the boating adventure and you excused yourself into the bathroom of John Bs house. You splash cold water onto your face trying to collect yourself. You all were still hanging out but your heat never faded. As you unlock the door, you find JJ standing in the doorway across from the bathroom, his arms crossed. You started getting worked up again just from the sight of his muscles. “Hey, y/n, can I talk with you?” JJ asks. Motioning to his bedroom. “Where are the others? ” you ask JJ, your heart beat raises, feeling like you just ran. “I shooed them off” JJ says giving you a wink as he looks back behind him to make sure you are still following. As soon as both of you enter into his bedroom he closes the gap between you and backs you into the door, closing it behind you with a force that made you stop breathing. This is it, this could be the moment you were waiting for. JJ kisses you with such a force you could not keep the moan down that was escaping your mouth. His hands were on your hips, pulling you closer. Your head was spinning from his touch, you waited all day for this. JJ kisses from your mouth down your jaw, hitting all the right spots. Against your neck he says “Y/N, we need to talk about something.” You take a deep breath trying to focus on what he was saying. You try to untangle both of you, so you weren’t distracted. “Ok” you say sighing that he broke up something you were waiting for. “ I saw you watching me playing with the knife….” He trails off, you nodding you head, hoping that he could put two and two together. He was a smart boy. “…. I think I want to try something with you.” You heart jumps and your eyes fill with the same lust that he looked at you with multiple times before. “Im not sure how or why but watching you play with that knife did something in me that I didn’t know could happen….” You confess, letting all guard down, looking at your hands because you didn’t want to look him in the eye, you would have just died from embarrassment. JJ comes swiftly to your side and gently puts his hands on both sides of your face, bringing you to look at him.“Baby, there is nothing to be ashamed of, I know these thoughts can be scary and intimidating, but as long as we are honest with each other and talk about things before And after, we can do this. Honestly, it what I was thinking about while playing with it.” He kisses your nose, resting his forehead against yours. “I

was curious how you would take it, we already have been dabbling into some kinky things in the bedroom…” he continues talking as he wraps his hands around your waist. Closing your eyes with the feeling of him wrapping you into him, you laid your head against his chest. You were trying to memorize his smell around you. How his arms felt wrapped around you. “You know my rule, you can tell me anything and I wont judge. As long as you are honest and remember the safe word, we are golden. You remember the word right, babygirl?” How could you have forgotten, you sat in bed with him late at night, laughing and forgetting the world around you. You were trying to come up with a word that would completely pull both of you out of anything you were doing. Toilet. Toilet was the word you settled on. You talked about golden showers and both of you agreed that, that wasn’t something you’d be into. JJ spoke up, pulling you out of your memory. “Do you want to try? The gang wont be back for hours. The house is ours. We can be as loud as we want….” He kisses you hard and chokes you a little, the coldness of his rings makes you gasp against his mouth. “we all know you have trouble being quiet, princess” JJ says against your mouth smugly, knowing full well the power he has over you, to make you into a crumbling screaming soaking mess. He picks you up and tosses you onto the bed. He makes contact with your mouth and you moaned at the touch, kissing you so you wouldn’t notice, he blind folds you with the bandana from his back pocket. Kissing down your neck, sucking hickies into your collarbone, he slowly pulls out the knife from his pocket, the one you saw earlier, he lifted from the boat. The first contact was your shoulder, you gasped shockingly from how cold the metal was. Colder than you imagined, ice like.JJ drags the knife softly against your delicate skin, never picking up the blade off of you. He cuts one of your straps from your shirt, which makes you scream quietly from excitement. He continues to drag the blade up against your neck, against the sweet spot near your ear, and down your cheek. Your heart is racing and you are practically panting, drool tipping out of the corner of your mouth. JJ sees you drooling under him, a soaking and panting mess. He becomes hard and grinds his hips into you so you could feel what you do to him. “Open your mouth stick your tongue out.” JJ orders with a deep sexiness to his voice. This tone of his is one you love, one where he is taken over by lust and cant get enough of you. You close your mouth tight, being the brat you are, knowing there would be a fun punishment for this act of disobedience. JJ stopped grinding into you and lifted himself up off of you. He turned your hip to the side, your back still on the bed but your left hip in the air. He dragged his hand across your underwear, making brief contact with where you wanted him the most. All of the sudden you feel a smack and a sting. He spanked you, leaving a red hand print on your bare ass. The noise that escaped your mouth earned a growl from him. Your chest raising and falling rapidly from all of your excitement. “Open your mouth. Stick your tongue out. I will not repeat myself.” JJ says as you feel his hand around your throat. You stick your tongue out, letting all juices free flow. You feel the cold metal pressed flat against your tongue. You couldn’t stop drooling. You only ever could drool that much while you were sucking him off. When you feel the cold leave your mouth you start begging. “JJ please, I need you. Now, please.”“Tell me what you want, brat” He spat back at you, tightening his grip around your neck. Your head falls back and you beg him “Please touch my pussy, I want your fingers, your tongue, the knife, your dick. Please anything. I just need something. Please” The need you had for him almost brought you to tears. JJ drags the knife down your bare stomach, your shirt was long gone. You arch your back and JJ could see all the goosebumps forming. He starts biting your hips, sometimes too hard and there was blood popping out

of some of the teeth marks. He dragged the knife down to your panties and with one quick motion he cut off both sides around your hips. Tugging on the cloth he ripped them from the front so there was friction against your clit. You gasped so loud and was so shocked you gripped the sheets around you. Knowing if you reached for him there could be bad consequences. Biting and sucking at your hips again, he pushes your legs aside and finally gives you what you begged for With out any warning he pushes two fingers into you. Still feeling the blade, over a hip and down one leg tracing your ankle and then coming back up. “Baby, you are a dripping mess. I never knew you could get so wet and wanting. All for me.” JJ practically growled against you “Yes baby you are doing so well. I love seeing you like this.” You bucked your hips against his fingers, still inside of you. This Was all you needed to just about cum. He immediately removed his fingers and you whined so loudly you startled yourself. Edging you once before letting you get any closer. “OPEN"He demanded once again and you obliged you needing him more then a punishment He stuck his fingers in your mouth "Taste yourself, baby girl taste how wet you are for me.” You start sucking on the fingers in your mouth, tongue dancing around them like you were sucking them off. This earned a deep growl from JJ in your ear. A “please” escaped your mouth without even thinking. He starts to drag his fingers, softly barely touching your skin, down to your wet hot core he pushes you back over so you are laying flat on your back, legs wide open his for the taking. He flicks your clit just to tease a little bit more before giving you what you want. You were now open mouth panting and whining, some noises you didn’t even recognize. He put two fingers into you going at a pace you didn’t think was humanly possible, again things were slow motion you didn’t think he could go any slower. “Stay very still, do not move a muscle or I will stop he orders” JJ places the cold blade onto your clit and you move your hands deeper into the blankets bracing yourself so you didn’t move. He curled his fingers to hit your g spot and you almost cried. You needed him more than you ever needed him before. “p…..please JJ… please make me cum….. please baby….. I’ll do anything just make me cum……” you plead knowing you couldn’t stay still for much longer he removes the blade and you start to protest “Please…” as quickly as he removes the blade he replaces it with his mouth sucking and twirling his tongue so skillfully he starts pumping his fingers rough and hard, a pinky grazing your other hole his hand is now dripping from your juices “baby cum for me you are doing so well, you are almost there….” pounding your g spot over and over with his hand you feel the rings slipping close and close to your entrance, his fingers deep inside of you. your back raises from the bed as you feel the knife flat against your belly just enough to feel the coldness you release and scream like you were on a rollercoaster you were on one of your own high JJ had to use his arm to keep your legs open, holding you down still pounding you with his fingers making sure he gets everything out of you as you let go of the sheets coming down from your high he moves to place the knife on the bed and to slip the bandana off of your face kissing you everywhere on your face and finally your lips you lay there limp tears escaping your eyes you breathing so heavy you weren’t sure if you’d ever catch your breath He lays down next to you in awe and kisses you gently against the mouth you laugh against his lips unbelieving that you just came that hard “wow” escapes your lips as you run your hands through his hair his hand laying lazily on your hip “I didn’t know you could scream that loud Y/N” still laying there euphoric blinking to try to make sure this was reality, nodding slowly “you really liked that didn’t you y/n”“yes I had no idea…. i .. it… wow…. more ….” JJ giggled that he had you speechless “ I will be right back baby okay? Just stay here, Im so

proud of you” he put away the knife and brought you some water and covered you up with your favorite blanket you could make sense of words now…. “Wow JJ fuck, that was awesome. I had no idea” He came up behind you cuddling into you under the blanket kissing the side of your face “Im glad you liked it I can say its one of my favorite things now.” “Me too, i thought it would be different” “how so” JJ looks down at you making sure you were okay “that it would be more dangerous i guess” he feels you shrug against his arms around you “as long as you don’t jerk and move too much i have all of the control. I wont ever hurt you baby, I’m so proud of you. you did so well” “ JJ I’m glad we can trust each-other this much. I wouldn’t be able to do any of this if it wasn’t with you.” He kissed you softly against the mouth and your hunger reappeared How could it not with a sun kissed blonde god next to you “Your turn for me to make you cum JJ” You say climbing on top of him feeling his dick hard against your bare clit. Shuddering at the feeling since you were still sensitive, smiling. you both melted into the blanket, not coming up for air until the sun rose again